Chapter Text
“The public’s Yoo Joonghyuk” is a marketing concept that has been inordinately and inexplicably successful. Case in point:
a) His fans—or SupSubs, short for “Supreme Subjects”—have this core belief that Yoo Joonghyuk is the epitome of ideal boyfriend material. They’re nothing if not dedicated to the cause, spending hours online arguing with those who claim otherwise, and fantasizing about him in a way that would make Dokja blush had he not been exposed to it for years at this point.
b) His fans believe that Yoo Joonghyuk always wanted to be an idol since his childhood. The official story is that Yoo Joonghyuk saw an unnamed idol on a music show broadcast and decided to make it his future career at the fresh old age of seven. It’s quite a common origin story, but one that the fans seem to eat up like a gourmet meal.
c) His fans wholeheartedly believe that Yoo Joonghyuk has no interest in the opposite sex. Numerous video compilations of Yoo Joonghyuk “hating women”, featuring his tendency to maintain a meter’s distance from any female idols or broadcasters and his general snark towards women, serve as more than enough evidence of that for fans.
“The public’s Yoo Joonghyuk” is also a complete scam, as most marketing concepts are. Carefully crafted from the ground up, it’s all a public persona that Yoo Joonghyuk grudgingly puts on at ungodly hours in the morning and maintains throughout the day with military-grade precision.
As the idol’s childhood-friend-turned-manager, he knows all too well what the fans want to see, and is privy to everything that the fans don’t see. Particularly that:
a) Yoo Joonghyuk is an irredeemable asshole when there are no cameras or people around. He’s gotten good at hiding that part of him over the years, but he’s certainly not ideal boyfriend material, no matter how good he is at cooking and doing household chores. As for his physical appearance…well, Dokja can at least agree with the fans on that front. Objectively speaking, of course.
b) Yoo Joonghyuk hates being an idol with every fiber of his being, so much so that Dokja has to remind him every day that if he quits then both of them will be out of a job. To which Yoo Joonghyuk’s most frequent response is that while Dokja will be permanently out of a job, due to the fact that he’s only valuable for the work he does with Yoo Joonghyuk, he himself can simply get a job elsewhere in the entertainment industry, due to his handsome face. It is an infuriatingly true fact, but thankfully Yoo Joonghyuk has some twisted form of affection for him and hasn’t quit yet.
c) While his fans are correct about him having no interest in the opposite sex, it’s not because he is some monk, pure blushing virgin, or raging misogynist. As is industry standard, he’s been trained on how to avoid romantic scandals, but Yoo Joonghyuk complies with the training rather maliciously for somewhat opaque reasons, which comes off as being completely uninterested in women.
Now, Dokja, being the well-trained Yoo Joonghyuk manager that he is, is sufficiently equipped to deal with points a) and b). After all, they became friends in spite of, not because of, Yoo Joonghyuk’s personality. As for his job security, he’s pretty sure they’re both trauma bonded to the entertainment industry beyond saving.
It’s point c) that’s the problem. Yoo Joonghyuk, with his dense and emotionally repressed brain, probably doesn’t question why he follows his training so rigorously. However, Dokja has a better point of view, being the closest person to him that isn’t blinded by hubris.
His running theory is that the man is so far in the closet that he appears straight to the untrained eye. After all, any man with even an ounce of interest in women would have folded by now, surrounded by the unparalleled beauties raised in the entertainment industry’s greenhouse—not to mention all the female fans that would throw themselves at his front doorstep given the slightest chance.
All things considered, his theory hasn’t been put to the test yet.
Yet being the key term. Maybe today is the day he has to figure out Yoo Joonghyuk’s preferences once and for all.
“Hey,” he mumbles, looking at the trending page. “Hey, Joonghyuk, what did you do? You’re trending online.”
No response. Figures. He’s probably in the middle of destressing by demolishing teenagers online. Sighing, he opens the fan forum to find out for himself.
A quick scroll through the top trending posts on the fan forum paints enough of a picture for him, and the implications are horrifying.
“Yoo Joonghyuk!” he yells, kicking his door open. “Come here, we need to talk.”
Yoo Joonghyuk barely spares him a glance, mashing the buttons on his game controller with frightening speed. “I’m in a game,” he grunts, pulling his headphones halfway off. “What do you want?”
This is the real Yoo Joonghyuk, the very person behind all the glitz and glamor. Still wearing the suit jacket from earlier, painstakingly styled hair already in disarray, hunched over in his gaming chair in a room that’s completely dark save for the screen casting light over his perfectly sculpted face. His fans would curse if they knew they were supporting this handsome loser.
“What did you say in your live yesterday?”
“Nothing much,” he says, shifting over slightly so that Dokja can perch himself on the armrest. “Regular nonsense.”
“Yeah, sure. ‘Regular nonsense’, huh? What’s this about ‘life and death companions’?”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s hands still for a moment, then go back to maneuvering the joystick. “I don’t remember saying that.”
Dokja grabs his face, turning his head so he’s forced to look at him. “Hey, this is serious.”
He can hear the tinny sound of Yoo Joonghyuk’s character dying, emitting from the headphones as they slip off his head. Yoo Joonghyuk peers up at him, frowning in a way that comes off murderous to most but as mild irritation to Dokja, who’s more than used to the look after being on the receiving end for the majority of his life. “What?”
“Who were you talking about in your live yesterday?” he asks, smoothing Yoo Joonghyuk’s bangs back and off his forehead. “Your fans are freaking out.”
He leans into his touch much like a disgruntled cat would. “Doesn’t matter.”
“No, seriously, who were you talking about? Do I know them?”
Yoo Joonghyuk regards him with half-lidded eyes, sighing. “Maybe,” he acknowledges. “It won’t affect anything. Just do your job.”
“Then stop saying stupid shit on live,” Dokja quips, letting go of Yoo Joonghyuk and standing back up. “Han Sooyoung’s gonna chew me out for deploying damage control again. Maybe she’ll ban you from doing live streams.”
Yoo Joonghyuk scoffs. “As if. She’s milking me for everything I’m worth.”
“I’m telling you, just don’t say anything stupid online while we deal with it. Got it?”
“Whatever,” he grumbles, slipping his headphones back on with a practiced motion. “Don’t get takeout. I’ll make dinner later.”
“Sunfish bastard,” Dokja mutters under his breath as he retreats from said bastard’s gaming den. “I’ll get takeout if I want to.”
At least it doesn’t seem like Yoo Joonghyuk has some secret girlfriend he’s been keeping under wraps. He’d be surprised if he did, considering that they spend most of their waking hours together and Yoo Joonghyuk’s probably gay.
Still, that wording, “life and death companions”…why do the fans think Yoo Joonghyuk was talking about him? As if that would be possible. After all, he’s nothing but a friend and manager.
[we need to talk about what YJH said in his latest live…] 4h ago
@yjhyukies
last night’s livestream, starting at 19:04
please don’t tell me i’m overthinking when i say his wording is ambiguous. i mean, “life and death companions”? “the only person who understands me”? “when i was at my worst they were there”? am i the only one who thinks there’s something romantic there?
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @yjhyukies
sorry but you’re overthinking. it just sounds like a good friend of his
@supsub8391 > [OP] @yjhyukies
agreed…look at my recent post on this. there’s fs something up here, glad i’m not going insane
[YJH has a secret lover? Analysis] 6h ago
@supsub8391
i know normally my analyses are jokey and all, but this one is the real deal. strap in for the ride, as always all my sources are cited throughout the post
Inciting Incident:
In his live last night (which can be found here) Yoo Joonghyuk (henceforth referred to as YJH) answered a question posed by @dljofire, who asked the question: how would you describe the person you consider closest to you? YJH’s descriptions of his closest person include:
-life and death companions
-the only person who understands me
-someone I can’t live without
-a person who’s always there by my side
-self-sacrificing idiot
and much more that I can’t fit here without a full transcript. However, YJH didn’t explicitly state who this person was. This got me thinking; if this person is so important to YJH, what role do they play in his life and is it possible that we, as SupSubs, have seen them before?
Analysis:
The easiest criterion to tackle is that YJH calls this person “the only person who understands [him]”. YJH isn’t one to talk much in his videos and lives, but one person that he seems to talk to often is his manager. In this video, this video, and this video, we see that he doesn’t talk to any of the other people who are working on his makeup or the set—most of whom regularly work with him, but he doesn’t seem to be all that comfortable with them. But the one person he talks to on set? His manager. They seem to have a good relationship—YJH’s body language is comfortable and he doesn’t seem to get offended when his manager teases him.
But supsub8391, you say, this doesn’t mean that YJH’s manager understands him enough to qualify as his special person!
To that, I would say you’re right…
That is, until you look at this clip from this live. YJH’s manager seems to know so much that even YJH is embarrassed at being exposed on camera, but he doesn’t lash out. At the very least, we can’t deny that YJH’s manager has some level of understanding that most people don’t have, and YJH tolerates this enough for his manager to be a viable candidate for YJH’s special person.
Now, for the possibility that YJH’s special person is not someone we’ve ever seen on camera. This possibility can actually be ruled out almost completely by the statement that they’re “always there by [his] side”. As shown in this video of YJH’s daily idol routine, he has so many practices and recording sessions that he can hardly sit down to drink water or text people on his phone (see where this is going?). If YJH’s special person wasn’t someone who meets him on a daily basis, they wouldn’t qualify as being “always there by [his] side” (NOTE: we’re making the assumption that all of YJH’s statements can be taken at face value, i.e. literally, which is NOT an invalid assumption because multiple acquaintances of his have shared anecdotes that confirm he’s not the type to say things metaphorically or hyperbolically. See: various actors’ comments on the struggles of working with him.) Therefore, we can conclude that someone who fits this criteria would have to be someone we’ve seen in a video before.
As for why I believe that YJH’s “special person” is his secret lover, well…would any sane person use “life and death companions” to describe a friendship? Come on.
i’m running out of time since i have to catch a flight but basically my conclusion is that YJH has a secret lover and that secret lover is his manager, who has never revealed his face or name on camera and was probably instructed not to do so by YJH himself to keep their relationship safe.
@yjhyukies > [OP] @supsub8391
well written analysis as always. supsub8391 you are the backbone of the supsub fandom i fear
[OP] @supsub8391 > @yjhyukies
i couldn’t not write this analysis…the yjh x manager brain rot is consuming me as we speak
@dljofire > [OP] @supsub8391
omg what did i do ><
[OP] @supsub8391 > @dljofire
MOTHER HERSELF??? ON MY POST???
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @supsub8391
wtf you’re crossing the line… yjh doesn’t need you rabid fans dissecting his every word and looking to start shit. plus he’s straight
[OP] @supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
ok i was with you until the last sentence
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @supsub8391
fucking rps scum. go kys
[OP] @supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
bro it’s not that deep. go touch some grass and realize yjh won’t let you suck his dick just bc you’re defending his honor online
“Kim Dokja.”
“Han Sooyoung.”
She slams her hands on her desk, standing up to her full height. It’d be intimidating if she wasn’t a measly 158 centimeters tall.
“What the fuck is happening on the internet?”
He frowns. “Nothing at all. I took care of the whole livestream debacle already. Han Donghoon managed to get the main posts taken down, and he’s suppressing the topic on the front page.”
“The livestream deba—?” She sighs. “Is that why the tabloids are posting about your hidden romance with that guy?”
“Yep, that’s exactly—what???”
She covers her face and screeches at the top of her lungs. Dokja, politely, plugs his ears and waits for her to get it together.
“Kim Dokja,” she says, ever the image of mental wellness, “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to wrap my hands around that skinny neck of yours and wring you like a towel.”
“I’d like to see you try and reach my neck.”
The tissue box on Han Sooyoung’s desk makes a direct beeline to the middle of his forehead.
“I’m paying you,” she seethes, “to do your job properly. Not to sit around looking pretty and flirting with that gamer housewife of yours.”
“He’s not my wife,” he protests, wincing as he rubs his forehead. “I did see that people on the forum thought Joonghyuk was talking about me, but I guarantee he wasn’t. Otherwise, he would’ve told me. And I would’ve known.”
“Holy shit,” she moans, banging her head against her desk, “I hired a bunch of fucking morons.”
“Takes one to know one.”
“I fucking heard that!”
Thankfully, he manages to dodge the paper weight she shot puts at him, which flies into the coffee table behind him and shatters with a sound that he can only describe as extremely appropriate to the situation at hand.
“Hey, listen to me.” She sits back down, exhaling. “Imagine you’re a fan.”
“Okay.” That’s not too hard to imagine, when it comes to Yoo Joonghyuk. Han Sooyoung must be feeling generous for once.
“You’re just joking around about your favorite idol on the internet, but then your jokes get deleted for no good reason. What are you going to think?”
“I’m about to get served a defamation suit,” he responds as if it’s been programmed into him. It might as well be, considering how many times he’s seen that exact scenario in the industry.
“Close enough,” she grumbles. “Kim Dokja, the fans think their speculations about you and Yoo Joonghyuk are getting deleted because they’re true. Did you even think about that angle before asking Han Donghoon to delete that post?”
She holds up her hand. “Don’t answer that. I’m running out of things to throw at you.”
[lowkey…] 7h ago
@yjhsssss
thought we were just being silly about yjh x manager-nim… but damn why did that analysis post actually get removed??? mods explain yourselves
@supsub8391 > [OP] @yjhsssss
glad that someone appreciated the vision. clearly the mods don’t :(
[MOD] @yjhsleftnut > [OP] @yjhsssss
Tagging @supsub8391 here as well so people will stop blowing up modmail. None of the moderation team has any problem with analyses, provided they are not invasive towards Yoo Joonghyuk and his management. As everyone has been saying, supsub8391’s analysis did not explicitly violate any forum rules; however, we removed it due to the sensitive nature of the subject matter. In the future, please refrain from excessive speculation.
@j00nghyuks > [MOD] @yjhsleftnut
finally some sanity on this hellsite. good job mods
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
ooh you want to suck a dick so bad
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
FUCK OFF STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
oh so you WANT want me…i see…
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
[removed]
[MOD] @yjhsleftnut > @j00nghyuks
Removed for language. This is your first warning.
[OP] @yjhsssss > [MOD] @yjhsleftnut
thank you mod team for removing a polite post with appropriate evidence and absolutely no speculation, and not doing shit about the spammer claiming yjh hooked up with a fan after last week’s concert.
[MOD] @yjhsleftnut > [OP] @yjhsssss
Our moderation team has been overwhelmed recently. Direct us to these spam posts you’re talking about and we’ll deal with them appropriately.
@ssestan > [MOD] @yjhsleftnut
bruh who let someone called yjhsleftnut become mod
[MOD] @yjhsleftnut > @ssestan
My user is not reflective of my ability to moderate.
[SSE is silencing me? Analysis] 2h ago
@supsub8391
so originally i wasn’t going to comment on the whole “mod team deleted my analysis” situation, because whatever, i have a life and they don’t, boo fucking hoo. but some of the wording in their statements set off my analysis alarms, so now i’m going to make this and they’re going to delete it if they want me to become a problem.
Inciting Incident:
I made an analysis post (which I would link had they not DELETED the original post) where I posited that YJH may be in a romantic relationship with his manager. Within hours, it blew up on the SupSub forum, and became a hot topic outside the fandom. Then, a day later, the post was mysteriously deleted. I had no part in the deletion, and received no notice or warnings from the moderation team. I woke up to hundreds of messages asking why my post was deleted, and no idea of why.
Analysis:
The key to understanding why my analysis post was deleted comes from this series of replies from mod @yjhsleftnut. They cite the “sensitive nature of the subject matter” as reason for deletion. This sounds fairly reasonable, except for one complication that anyone who’s been on here for long enough can remember.
The Lee Seolhwa speculation post.
For the uninitiated, the Lee Seolhwa speculation post, also known as Seolhyukgate, was a post by user @babyseol. I’ve cited the fanwiki page, since the original post has since been deleted. Essentially, babyseol claimed that YJH had “knocked up” Lee Seolhwa, his costar in SSSSS-grade Infinite Regressor, and cited that as the reason why Lee Seolhwa’s costuming became looser over the course of the drama. The forum was, in general, outraged by babyseol’s baseless claims, and bombarded the moderation team with requests to take the post down. For what reason? For the “sensitive nature of the subject matter”, i.e. speculations on romantic relationships between YJH and other people in his life.
Sound familiar?
But babyseol’s post was never taken down by the moderation team. In fact, the moderation team vehemently defended babyseol, touting “free speech” as their reason for keeping the post up. Up until babyseol deleted their post themselves when proven wrong, the moderation team continued to claim they had no right to delete a post that wasn’t directly harming anyone.
And who should have been the most devout defender of babyseol, if not for moderator yjhsleftnut (lol)?
I rest my case.
Here’s where it gets weird. If the moderation team, as they themselves have shown through their actions, has no actual problem with speculation on YJH’s romantic involvements, then why was my post deleted?
I could think of only one possible reason: outside involvement.
Who would have the motivation and means to force the moderation team’s hand?
YJH’s management company, SSE.
I’m not going to say it out loud, but I think anyone with a functioning brain can connect the dots. If this post goes down, it’ll just confirm my suspicions. Your move, SSE.
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @supsub8391
you’re actually sick in the head. yjh is an idol and doesn’t owe us anything about his personal life. idk what you’re trying to prove by calling him gay and crying about being “silenced”, but it’s fans like you that make fan spaces insufferable
[OP] @supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
how does it feel to be MY biggest fan
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @supsub8391
fuck off. also you’re weird as hell for criticizing babyseol and doing the exact same thing. hypocrite much
[OP] @supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
holy shit finally a proper argument from j00nghyuks…give me a sec to recover
I get what you’re trying to say but surely you can tell the difference between babyseol’s messy and unfounded speculation and my properly formatted and analytically sound argument with sources and citations. unless you’re 13 and fresh from the womb with 0 reading comprehension
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @supsub8391
so? just because you have a phd doesn’t make you morally better
[OP] @supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
…did you seriously stalk my profile?
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
kys. btw i’m only two years younger than you so stop infantilizing me you freak
@seolhwas > [OP] @supsub8391
what the hellllll he had the prettiest woman on the planet and fumbled her for his musty manager bro? absolute L man, fucking gay people
@prettywoman > @seolhwas
hey so this is highkey homophobic! maybe the manager is a rlly cute twink :3
[OP] @supsub8391 > @prettywoman
this comment chain just gave me the most insane whiplash. congrats to you both
@yjhyjh > [OP] @supsub8391
hyukkie would never date anyone, he’s said that he’s solely devoted to his fans!
@j00nghyuks > @yjhyjh
that’s a grown man you’re calling hyukkie. when will parasocialism stop holding you people hostage
@lifeanddeathcompanio > [OP] @supsub8391
the crack ship is becoming a little too real i fear
@life_death_companion > @lifeanddeathcompanio
we have to start a gc for this and call it life and death companions
@lifeanddeathcompanio > @life_death_companion
shut up IM SO MAD??? how did i not think of shortening it in my user auuUGHHHH
“So, that’s why I’m asking you to get on live and fix things.”
Yoo Joonghyuk rolls his eyes, adjusting the heat under the steamer. “I don’t have a live scheduled tonight.”
“You don’t even have a live schedule,” Dokja points out. “Besides, I can just make an announcement right now. You’re popular enough—we’ll get enough viewership to get the point across.”
“Kim Dokja,” Yoo Joonghyuk warns, but he’s already whipping his phone out. “I’m not clarifying anything.”
“Then go tell Han Sooyoung how you’re planning to deal with the fact that the internet thinks we’re dating.”
“Do you care?”
“About fans thinking I’m your secret lover? No, not really.” He exhales. “About the fact that you’re about to get your idol career canceled? Well, yes, considering that’s also going to cancel my career.”
“We have enough money.”
Dokja raises an eyebrow. “To do what? And who’s we?” He starts typing out the live stream announcement, leaning his elbows on the table. “Last I checked, I barely had enough money in my account to pay rent. I don’t know how it is for you, but I would personally like to continue being gainfully employed.”
Yoo Joonghyuk sets the steamer down on the table, passing Dokja a pair of chopsticks and a plate. “Then stop being a fool and move in.”
“While your entire fanbase thinks we’re in a relationship?” he grumbles through a mouthful of Murim dumpling. “Yeah, great idea, genius. Give them something to really talk about. Does this look good?”
Yoo Joonghyuk glances at his phone screen, clearly not reading a single word on it as he turns his glare onto him. “I’m not doing it.”
“It costs you absolutely nothing to do this,” he coaxes. “Come on, Joonghyuk-ah. Do it for my job security. Do it for me, your friend, your best friend, your alleged ‘life and death companion’.”
“Who gives a damn about your job security?” Yoo Joonghyuk seethes, but he still deposits another dumpling onto his plate with his chopsticks. “Schedule it for tomorrow.”
And this is the reason why Han Sooyoung still employs him. He grins, reaching over to pat him on the head. “Thanks, Joonghyuk-ah.”
Yoo Joonghyuk whacks his hand away, raking his fingers through his hair as he averts his eyes. “Shut up and eat.”
He huffs out a laugh, picking his chopsticks back up. “Alright, alright.” It’s cute how Yoo Joonghyuk always lets him get his way, even if he pretends he won’t.
[LMAO yesterday’s live] 4h ago
@lifeanddeathcompanio
livestream clip
did yjh just accidentally confirm the rumors…oh i’m ctfu this man has NO media training
@yjhyukies > [OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio
at first i loled. and then i serioused what the fuck is this simp behavior yjh
@supsub8391 > @yjhyukies
this man really waxed poetic about his manager on live and thought we wouldn’t clock him
@yjhyukies > @supsub8391
I KNOW like…omg yjh do you not realize you’re digging yourself deeper into the hole
@supsub8391 > @yjhyukies
no thoughts inside that head of his…that’s our sunfish right there
@supsub8391 > [OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio
also for unrelated reasons @j00nghyuks i am very curious to know how you’ll spin this one
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
can’t a man say positive things about another man without gay accusations? it’s 20XX, wake up and stop being such a bigot
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
you are…oddly correct? but also very deep in the closet
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
no
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
ok j00nghyuks…whatever you say babe…
[OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio > @supsub8391
i’ve been seeing you guys everywhere,,, do you two know each other irl?
@supsub8391 > [OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio
oh god no
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio
FUCK NO
@dljofire > [OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio
one of us! one of us! check DMs ^^
[OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio > @dljofire
wow…they were not lying when they said you were mother in this fandom. this is so meta tysm for the invite!
@supsub8391 > [OP] @lifeanddeathcompanio
??? i feel like i know what’s happening and i don’t like it
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
what
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
ㅗ
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
FUCK YOU TOO
[i’m literally crying HYUKKIE WHYYYYY] 3h ago
@yjhyjh
i never thought that hyukkie would date anyone ;;; he’s so sweet and pure and shy and he’s always been the most devoted to his fanbase. does anyone know how i can send fanmail? i want to send him something, i need to let him know i don’t believe all the rumors about him and his manager
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @yjhyjh
are we talking about the same idol? yjh is a grown 184 cm tall man with muscles for days who curses on camera so often that no one bothers to make compilations of it anymore
[OP] @yjhyjh > @j00nghyuks
you don’t know him like i do!!!
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @yjhyjh
this is a forum dedicated to yjh, filled with people who have consumed every bit of yjh content for the last ten years. i’m fairly certain most of us know him as well as any fan can
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
why are you so polite when arguing with other people??? what, no kindness for supsub8391???
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
shut up
[OP] @yjhyjh > @j00nghyuks
i met him at a fanmeet and he held my hand. i know for a fact he loves me and we’re meant to be together
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @yjhyjh
respectfully what the fuck are you on. damn sasaeng
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
aaaaand there we go. that’s my pookie right there
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
whatever. i have my defense tomorrow morning i can’t be bothered to deal with you
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
like a phd defense???
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
yeah
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
i must say i’m shocked. good luck though, i can’t hate on the grind
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
whatever. thanks
“Yoo Joonghyuk.”
The man in question squints at him through sleep addled eyes, groaning at the sight of him hovering at his bedside like his personalized sleep paralysis demon. “What.”
“Are you a fucking idiot?”
“Kim Dokja,” he growls, “it is 3 AM.”
“And how would you know that?”
Yoo Joonghyuk screws his eyes shut, dragging a hand down his face as he sighs like the world is depending on him and his unfairly muscled biceps to save it. “Because I just fell asleep.”
“After doing a whole lot of making things worse,” Dokja mutters. “You have to be kidding me, Joonghyuk. I told you to clarify the situation, not double down and confirm the rumors. Why the hell did you talk about me on stream?”
“You asked me to go on live and talk.”
“About how people misunderstood your wording! Not about me and how my driving skills suck!”
“Whatever,” he grumbles. “I thought you left already.”
“I came back,” Dokja says, eye twitching, “because management called me in the middle of the night to chew me out. I can’t even write off the taxi as a business expense because all of our budget is going to keeping your bullshit off the hot search.”
“Just block them, fool.”
“I would if I could! ” He stands there, trembling from the exertion of it all, and wonders if he’s going insane. “Just…fuck, this is so stupid. Why’d I even come over? Because Han Sooyoung told me so? I don’t even like this job. You don’t even like this job. What the hell are we doing, Joonghyuk?”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s fingers wrap around his wrist, hanging limply by his side. “You’re crying.”
He glares at Yoo Joonghyuk, who’s still spread out in the sheets looking like the male lead off the cover of a dark romance novel. “And whose fault is that? You’re pissing me off.”
He hears him exhale. Then, with a harsh tug, he pulls him onto the bed, Dokja draping haphazardly across his body. “Go to sleep.”
“I’m still wearing my jacket,” Dokja sulks. “And my pants. And my socks, and my—”
Yoo Joonghyuk shoves him off and onto the left side of the bed, ignoring his undignified squawk of surprise. “Then take them off.”
“You’re so annoying,” he complains, following his direction despite his sheer hatred for him at the moment. “Why’d you even get such a big bed for one person? It’s not like you need all this sp—”
He’s instantly silenced by Yoo Joonghyuk’s arm, now slung across his body. “Shut up,” he hears him mumble.
“I—Fine,” he whispers, strange lump forming in his throat. “You still suck, you bastard.”
[YJH + MANAGER SPOTTING] 5h ago
@0803yjh
[removed]
@lifeanddeathcompanio > [OP] @0803yjh
losing it. losing it RIGHT NOW. the height difference oh my god. and so many photos too this is truly a feast
@yjhyukies > [OP] @0803yjh
why is manager-nim’s face so blurry in every single shot? is it on purpose or is your camera just broken
@yjhsssss > [OP] @0803yjh
damn how tall is manager-nim? he looks really tall in some photos but still shorter than yjh in the other photos?
@heightbot > @yjhsssss
Using the dimensions of the doorway and the railing, and accounting for camera warp, he should be 176 centimeters tall.
@yjhsssss > @heightbot
you know something has made it into the mainstream when heightbot is lurking on the post. but wow his proportions are crazy if he looks like that at 176 cm. are we sure manager-nim isn’t an idol himself? or maybe a former idol trainee?
@j00nghyuks > [OP] @0803yjh
i’m gonna actually explode. these are so obviously sasaeng photos. can we please be sensible and let yjh have a private life
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
this is so “the worst person i know just made a good point” of you
but for once i agree. @0803yjh this is crossing the line
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
not even going to say anything…
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
i truly cannot believe you of all people are a phd candidate
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
it’s doctor to you
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
what’d you even do your thesis on? being a hater?
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
[deleted]
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
… NO WAY I MET YOU IRL SAY IT AINT SO
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
?
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
did you, by any chance, drop your laser pointer halfway through your defense and have to crawl under the podium to pick it up? and you have a keychain from the 1864 album on your backpack?
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
WTF HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
holy fucking shit
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
[deleted]
@j00nghyuks > @supsub8391
STOP DOXXING ME IM REPORTING YOU
@supsub8391 > @j00nghyuks
shit sorry i didn’t mean to put that in public DON’T REPORT ME
[MOD] @yjhsleftnut > [OP] @0803yjh
Post removed for violating forum rules.
@ssestan > [MOD] @yjhsleftnut
why are you always at the scene of the crime
[MOD] @yjhsleftnut > @ssestan
I’m a moderator. This is my job.
@ssestan > [MOD] @yjhsleftnut
dawg there’s like 5 other mods. are you really this jobless
If this were a spy movie, Han Sooyoung would be the evil dealer with a deck of cards and poker chips spread out on the casino table in front of her. Unfortunately, this is not a spy movie, so Han Sooyoung is his boss who has a whole stack of photos in her hands and potato chip crumbs scattered on the brand new coffee table.
“Kim Dokja.”
He stays silent. He hates his job, but it’s still mortifying to be faced with his own failure.
“Ninety-one photos. Ninety-one.” She throws the stack at him, letting them cascade out onto the table.
“You were the one who wanted me to go to Joonghyuk’s apartment in the middle of the night,” he says, somehow finding his voice.
“Are you implying this is somehow my fault?”
He goes quiet again, and she sighs. “Listen, Kim Dokja. You do an undeniably great job with Yoo Joonghyuk. I don’t think any other person could deal with that asshole—as great as his face is for business, he’s not cut out for this industry, and it shows. I don’t know why he still insists on staying, but all I’m asking is for him to behave himself, as he’s proven to be capable of doing from the ten incident-free years he’s been an idol.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” he grouses. “He won’t tell me anything.”
“Of course he won’t,” she says, “because…”
He looks at that ugly mug of hers. “Because?” he prompts.
She scoffs, lighting a cigarette. “Forget it. I guess he’ll keep being difficult until he gets what he wants. Damn son of a bitch wants to get all lover boy on me...”
“Joonghyuk is in love?” he asks, finally slotting the pieces together.
“Took you long enough to realize.” She takes a drag, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “Considering you two are basically conjoined, you should’ve found out soo—”
“He’s using me as a cover for his real relationship,” he concludes, snapping his fingers. “That explains why he won’t clarify anything.”
“You…” Han Sooyoung gapes at him, cigarette tipping out of her hands and onto the floor.
It all makes sense now. Yoo Joonghyuk saying all of those sappy words on his live stream, refusing to tell Dokja who he was referring to, and saying all those things about Dokja on live even though he’s always told him to stay off camera and hide his identity. He’s his scapegoat.
“You should clean that up,” he tells Han Sooyoung, gesturing at the carpet that’s starting to smolder.
She seems to snap to at that, slamming her foot down on the spot with enough force to make the floor shake. “You should clean your face up,” she mutters, digging the toe of her shoe in as she frowns. “No, seriously, you don’t…I don’t think you…” She takes a deep breath, fixing her eyes on him. “Do you even know who he’s in love with?”
“Obviously not.”
“Oh my god.” She hits her forehead with the heel of her palm. “Am I being filmed? Kim Dokja, please tell me you’re acting and I’ll debut you as Korea’s next biggest sensation, I promise you.”
“I can’t believe you knew before I figured it out.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m his manager,” he stresses, “and I’ve known him for over a decade. I should be the first to know if anything’s wrong with him. How’d he even find the time to get a boyfriend? I thought all he cared about was—”
“You”—she squints at him—”know he’s interested in men.” Logically, it should be a question, but she spits it out like an accusation, hands clutching the edge of the table so hard he’s afraid she’s going to break it for the second time and deduct it from his salary.
He shrugs. “I thought it was obvious. He’d be dating a woman already if he was interested in them at all.”
She sighs, leaning back on the couch. “That’s not how that works, and that doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know why I even bother trying to understand your thought process.”
“No, it does,” he insists. “Look at him—with that face, if he was interested in any of the women around him, he could have them. Wouldn’t you go for him if he expressed interest in you?”
“No,” Han Sooyoung says, face screwing up in a way that makes her look uniquely witch-like, “because I’m about as interested in him as I am in shoveling hot shit into my mouth. That is, not at all. Don’t project your Yoo Joonghyuk obsession onto me.”
“I’m not obsessed,” he protests, but she clicks her tongue, pulling out a replacement for the cigarette that nearly sent the entire building up in flames mere moments ago.
“I almost feel bad for him,” she mutters, placing her freshly lit cigarette between her lips as she graces him with a pitying look. “Almost. Hey, Kim Dokja. Answer something for me.”
He fervently hopes she’ll choke on the smoke and set herself on fire. “Sure.”
“What is Yoo Joonghyuk to you?”
“A friend,” he replies, “of course.”
“And?”
“And the idol I manage.” In crueler words, he’s his meal ticket, but Yoo Joonghyuk’s been humoring that for the last decade.
“And?”
“And?” He racks his brain for something else he can say about Yoo Joonghyuk. “What else is there?”
She takes a long drag, laughing in a burst of smoke. “This would be funny,” she breathes, “if it wasn’t so fucking annoying. Get out of my office.”
“What are you—”
“I said get out. And take the photos with you, will ya? Maybe you can pin them up. Or gift them to Yoo Joonghyuk—I’m sure he’ll like them.”
“What are these?”
“Sasaeng photos,” Dokja replies, watching him flinch at the term, “of us outside your apartment. I counted—it’s really ninety-one photos, just as Han Sooyoung said.”
Yoo Joonghyuk gets into the back seat, slamming the door behind him. “From this morning?”
He hums in the affirmative, and puts the car into reverse. Yoo Joonghyuk is thumbing through the stack of photos when he turns to check his distance from the curb. “You can keep them,” Dokja mutters, tearing his eyes away from the sight to look through the back window. “Han Sooyoung said you’d like them, funnily enough.”
“As if,” he grumbles, setting them back down on the empty seat. “They didn’t get your face.”
Dokja snorts. “I didn’t even notice. You should tell that to Han Sooyoung so she’ll get off my back for once.”
Putting the car into drive, he pulls out onto the busy road.
“By the way,” he comments, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel while waiting for the light to change, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you’re in love with someone.”
He can hear Yoo Joonghyuk sigh, all heavy in that way he gets when he’s dealing with a particularly long and inescapable event. Glancing at him through the dirty rearview window gives him a slightly foggy view of Yoo Joonghyuk’s ugliest scowl—the one he’s forbidden from doing in front of anyone but Dokja himself, to protect his public image.
“You’re ridiculous,” Yoo Joonghyuk tells him, crossing his arms as he looks out the window.
“I think I’m being perfectly reasonable,” Dokja retorts. “Come on, Joonghyuk. We’re friends; why did I have to hear of it from my boss?”
“That woman is a damn…” He rakes a hand through his hair, still messy from his earlier dance practice, and groans, throwing his head back. “Ignore her. It’s not important.”
Dokja slams on the brake pedal, hearing Yoo Joonghyuk grunt at the jerking motion as he whips his head around to stare at him.
“If it’s so ‘unimportant’,” he says, with the air quotes implied, “then stop using me as your cover.”
He turns back to the road, ignoring the indignation of the drivers behind him as he accelerates through the intersection.
“You’re not a cover.”
He has to roll his eyes at that, even as he swerves into the next lane to avoid crashing into a line of parked cars. “For the record, Joonghyuk, I don’t care about your love life. I don’t. But just be honest with me, will you? Then, at the very least, I’ll be prepared to hide it for you so Han Sooyoung doesn’t lose what’s left of her mind.”
After a long silence, Yoo Joonghyuk bites out a, “Whatever.” In Yoo Joonghyuk language, that’s as good as an agreement.
“So, are you going to tell me who it is?”
He can feel the exasperation radiating off Yoo Joonghyuk without even taking a look, the murderous aura tangible in the air. If he were anyone else, he wouldn’t be able to believe that this was the same man who, just yesterday, was shooting finger hearts at a camera for a promotional photocard. And not even an album photocard at that—an instant ramyun pack photocard. The promotional man of the hour would rather lose an arm and a leg rather than consume the stuff himself. Unfortunately, the irony is completely lost on everyone involved, proving once again that Dokja is working in the wrong industry.
“I guess that’s a no,” he huffs. “At least tell me if it’s another person in the industry, so I won’t be surprised when DokkaebiPatch exposes your relationship next year.”
“...Possibly.”
Dokja grins. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“Kim Dokja.”
“Fine, fine.” He laughs, but it comes out wrong with the ache in his chest, throbbing in time with his heartbeat. Rubbing absently at the base of his throat, he wonders…
Who could it be?
[i think i just discovered manager-nim…] 8h ago
@yjhyukies
i know most people are familiar with this old recording of yjh gaming with his friend. and everyone says his friend in this video is an unnamed trainee that didn’t debut, but…i think his friend kind of sounds like manager-nim? i know they’re both teens in this video, so maybe their voices changed since, but what do you guys think?
@supsub8391 > [OP] @yjhyukies
wait yjhyukies you might be cooking here... for anyone else who wants to check for themselves, here’s a compilation of yjh and manager-nim interactions. i think it’s a really good match, accounting for the fact that game boy would have grown up since then. his voice might have changed a little since then, but since yjh and game boy seem to be the same age (no honorifics in sight) and young yjh’s voice isn’t too terribly different from his current voice, game boy’s voice probably hasn’t changed in any significant way.
@ssestan > [OP] @yjhyukies
dude the trainee theory was debunked way long ago. when yjh was a trainee, sse only had 4 other trainees, and 3 of them were female (stan eden!!!). ik everyone says it’s the male trainee (stan lee hyunsung!!!) but imo he doesn’t look anything like this guy. like bruhhh lhs is built like a double door fridge there’s no way he was ever this twinky
@supsub8391 > @ssestan
adding onto this, yjh and lhs don’t seem to be very close. they literally ignored each other at last week’s award show even though they were right next to each other on the red carpet. do you see how affectionate yjh is to his friend in this video? there’s no way that’s lhs. in fact, i’ll eat my keyboard if game boy isn’t manager-nim, i’m that convinced by the evidence
@lifeanddeathcompanio > [OP] @yjhyukies
OMGGG how have i never seen this video??? and his friend is pretty asf i need to know his name asap
@prettywoman > [OP] @yjhyukies
i don’t even go here but oh my lanta they’re so cute. anyone have any fanfic recs?
@dljofire > @prettywoman
Link
Link
Link
enjoy!!! >v<
@prettywoman > @dljofire
thx queen
[honestly i’m obsessed] 3h ago
@18649990
i cannot be the only one who thinks yjh’s friend / “game boy” / potential baby manager-nim is super cute right? like hello??? those eyes? that smile? THE EYELASHES??? he’s giving me cuteness aggression i wanna squish him through the screen
@supsub8391 > [OP] @18649990
said it before and i’ll say it again. yjh is definitely the type to gatekeep his pretty friends
@lifeanddeathcompanio > [OP] @18649990
girllll you’re not alone i wanna know his name SO BAD im scratching at the walls
@life_death_companion > @lifeanddeathcompanio
yellow wallpaper reference???
@lifeanddeathcompanio > @life_death_companion
that story traumatized me so bad but YES i feel like her when i think of yjh…and his pretty friend…im starting to hear voices telling me to write a fanfic
@dljofire > @lifeanddeathcompanio
do it!
@life_death_companion > @dljofire
MOTHER
@lifeanddeathcompanio > @dljofire
MOTHERRR
can i dm you for advice? i’ve never written a fanfic before
@dljofire > @lifeanddeathcompanio
of course! ^-^
@lifeanddeathcompanio > @dljofire
girl you are a literal angel i could kiss you rn