Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“It was the heat of the moment, telling me what my heart meant...”

With a groan, Castiel rolls over and turns off the alarm on Dean’s phone. He knew it was coming, the familiar Asia song he hears on an almost daily basis. Cas frowns at the space beside him until the smell of coffee hits his nose. A slow grin builds on his face as he stretches his arms over his head to shake off the rest of his sleep. Now that he’s more awake, Cas can hear music drifting up from the kitchen below, even though Dean has it turned down low enough to think he’s the only one who can hear it. 

Castiel’s smile grows. He knows how much Dean loves to cook with music playing. 

It doesn’t take long for the smell of bacon to confirm what Cas already knows. The urge to help gets Castiel the rest of the way out of bed. 

As he throws on a pair of sweats and their AC/DC shirt, Cas can’t help but think about how much he loves his life with Dean. And today is a big day for them, as far as big days go. 

Today, Castiel meets Sam for the first time. In the year since Dean arrived on the doorstep of his parent's brownstone, Cas has been present for many of the brother’s weekly phone calls, usually with Sam on speakerphone while they all chat. Things were rocky at first, with Dean doing a lot of worrying and Sam doing a lot of reassuring, but soon enough Dean was too busy to worry too much about his brother. 

They had showed up at Sonny’s with a duffle bag between them and a trunk full of art supplies, tennis rackets, and records, hoping Sonny would take mercy on Dean arriving a month early and with Cas in tow. Sonny was more than happy to have them. Cas liked the man immediately. 

Their summer at Sonny’s was perfect, as far as summers could go, or at least those fantasy-type summers Castiel always envied in television and movies, where the light was golden and everyone bonded and had the time of their lives. Sonny’s embodied that fantasy trope. Sure, some boys that stayed there were tough on the outside at first, but soon the three men would break down their walls even more so than Sonny already had before they arrived. The camp was exactly what Castiel sought to do with his tennis clubs, his only regret at leaving the Hampton’s so abruptly. Luckily, he could send Balthazar in his stead, which Dean didn’t approve of at first, until Castiel explained Balthazar had disappeared for the summer because he had been in rehab, and was actually doing well. They’re still friends, although not the type to do any kind of partying like they used to. 

Those days are behind Castiel. He never enjoyed them anyway, not really, more angry about being in the loud clubs and the obnoxious parties. He’d lamented about it one night over beers with Dean and Sonny. The three of them would end up sitting on the dock and sharing a six-pack (and sometimes if it was extra late, a joint) which often led to deep conversations that Castiel will cherish forever. Sonny gave him some words of wisdom about forgiving his parents, the actual source of Castiel’s anger and probably why he acted out the way he did for so long. There were a few nights when Sonny would flex his psychology degree at both of them, knowing neither could deny that they could use the advice. He was never unkind about it, just understanding, and many nights, Cas and Dean would lie awake for hours after, going over more intimate memories and working out their complicated feelings. 

They headed back to the city when the leaves changed, and Castiel swears he came back a different man. He definitely returned deeper in love with Dean. 

They also returned with plans. 

Castiel wants to keep painting. During their downtime, he researched artist co-ops, studios that brought in artists under apprenticeships in order to grow their talent and hopefully showcase their art in their space. They were becoming popular for galleries to buy from, and to hire for in-house sales. It would also help Castiel find his path in the art world, even though he thinks he’s honing his style, especially since he met Dean. 

He can admit, he never expected Dean to see his art room. He doesn't mind, in hindsight, but it likely would have taken him years to own up to it and share it with Dean. Knowing how much Dean loved it, and how it made him sure that Castiel returned his feelings, means Castiel can't be that upset about it, even though he had a discussion with his father about privacy after. 

Castiel had a lot of discussions with his father when they returned to the city. He was ready to have those discussions by then, and Chuck was ready too, insisting they have their talks under the watchful eye of a family therapist. Castiel didn't argue. They all needed the help, and even Michael attended, even though Castiel suspected it was under protest. At least at first. It took quite a few appointments for him to apologize for his role in Castiel's relationship. They're still attending therapy together, though not as often. 

Things with his family are good, in Castiel's eyes. The first time he brought Dean to his parent's penthouse in Manhattan was interesting, but they all walked away happy, Chuck and Naomi all but begging them both if they could hire Dean for events at least if they were uncomfortable with full-time. 

When they were at Sonny's, they had decided they would find their own place when they got back to the city, and the money the Novaks offered just for Dean to cater three events was enough for the down payment they needed to rent a small studio in Washington Heights. 

There were six co-ops taking portfolios within walking distance, or a train ride away too. 

Dean had his own dreams to chase from there as well. When they were at Sonny's, all the boys and Sonny himself loved Dean's food, but they raved about his sandwiches, and Castiel could only agree that Dean made the best he's ever tasted as well. 

Thus began Dean's business idea, to own his own sandwich shop. Gourmet taste without the gourmet price was where he felt he shined above the trendy sandwich shops popping up all over the city. Dean's would be authentic, with fresh ingredients and fair prices, and all he would need were investors, the part that stopped him in his tracks during his initial pitch.

Dean underestimated how many people believed in him, and how many loved his cooking. 

The Novak’s were Dean's first investors. Dean protested, of course, but they came with a contract and lawyers and they meant business, not charity, and when Dean realized that, he accepted. 

His second investors were Benny and Andrea. They also became his seafood supplier and some of Dean's best customers. The first few months, Dean hosted a variety of pop-ups, starting in territory he knew, the Hamptons. The Novak’s lent them the summer house for Dean to cook and prepare his food with Cas by his side, doing all the cutting and chopping and various other things Dean needed help with, including booking gigs. 

Cas isn't just a pretty face who's good with a pen, Dean likes to say. He also has a knack for PR. Maybe it's growing up adjacent to his parent's social circle, but Cas had an eye for events that fit Dean's intended demographic. He happened to speak rich people too, so booking gigs through the holidays for Dean came easy to him. 

At every turn, they fit. Where Dean needs help, Castiel fills the gap, and vice versa. Before he met his muse, Castiel thought his art career was over, that he had lost his skill along with his inspiration, things that were only dormant until Dean awakened them again. 

Even now, a year later, Castiel will look at Dean and feel that familiar urge to draw him. It’s hitting him now, as he comes down the stairs of the new apartment they just moved into. It’s a two-story loft above what used to be an empty storefront, but will soon be the home of Dean’s new sandwich shop. They will complete the renovations over the summer. They are being overseen by Michael’s property management company, the man himself in charge of the project. It was his brother who came to him with the building, a rental in Washington Heights he had recently bought. It was in a high-traffic part of the neighborhood, and with the residential space above, it was more than perfect for what they wanted. The loft was big enough to hold their bed and a small art space for Castiel, while Dean could make the downstairs his domain with a big open kitchen taking up a lot of the space. 

It still smells like fresh paint and half of their stuff is still in boxes, except for Dean’s cooking tools. His priority was setting up his kitchen, just right. Cas sat on a barstool and kept their wine glasses full, and he couldn’t stop smiling at him. It got him a lot of kisses that night. 

This morning, Dean is standing at the stove in only his black boxer-briefs, and Castiel’s green tennis club sweatshirt, his hair still sticking up on one side from sleep. Castiel can’t stop staring at Dean’s long, bare bow legs as he sways back and forth to an old Vampire Weekend song. He sings under his breath and occasionally holds up the spatula he’s using on the bacon as a microphone.

Cas leans against the banister to watch him until he can’t resist him for a moment longer. He joins his love with a little pep in his step, and Dean lights up when he glimpses Cas from the corner of his eye. The full-watted smile he turns on Cas makes his knees go weak, but he recovers by sliding into Dean’s open arms. Dean presses a smiling kiss to his temple before giving him a “Good morning, sunshine,” and nudging him toward a steaming cup of coffee next to the coffeemaker. 

Of course, Dean heard Castiel get up. 

And of course, the coffee is made exactly how Castiel likes it. 

The mushroom omelet Dean slides in front of him moments later is delicious as well. Castiel considers it rude to admit to how much weight he’s gained since starting his relationship with Dean, but given how much he plays tennis, and how often he and Dean go on evening runs, it’s all muscle in his legs and his thighs, for some reason. He’s had to buy all new pants lately, considering he split a perfectly good pair of dress pants when he squatted down to pick something up a month ago. Dean’s started calling him thunder thighs, but in the same tone he uses when he talks about pie, so Cas knows it's a compliment. Dean also leaves them littered with bite marks, which Cas had to make him tone down so he could wear shorts at Sonny’s. 

Instead of sitting down with him, Dean is still moving about the kitchen, still getting food ready for later. Sam’s flight arrives at noon, and then they’ll drive north to Sonny’s. It’s only a few hours to Poughkeepsie, but Dean knows a place about halfway where they can stop and have lunch next to a nice lake. 

Castiel thinks he might be asking the obvious, but he still asks. “Are you nervous about seeing your brother?”

Dean doesn’t miss a beat. “Are you?” Castiel should have expected it. Dean is whip-smart and just as fast at deflecting any question he isn’t ready to answer. 

Cas gives him a moment before answering. He even sips his coffee first. “I’m not the one buzzing around his kitchen. Can I help with anything?” 

Dean shoots him a desperate look. “I’m already running out of things to do.” 

“Then come sit down with me. Eat breakfast. Then we can go upstairs and I’ll blow you in the shower.” 

Dean’s gaze sharpens. “You know that’s my favorite.” 

“I do,” Cas says. “Now will you please come eat your bacon?”

Dean slumps onto the stool beside him. “What if he hates it?” 

“What? Summer camp? Swimming in the lake? Sonny said he’s going to start Sam in the barn. Don’t you want to see him muck out some stalls?” 

“Yeah but… What if he doesn’t like that Sonny’s an ex-con? Or what if he changes his mind about how I ended up there in the first place?” 

When Dean invited Sam and his girlfriend out to Sonny’s for the first two weeks of their summer break, he had to come clean about how he had met Sonny and how their dad left him there. Sam was shocked but said he always suspected their dad had lied about a lot of things, especially when it came to Dean. Never in his life had Castiel been glad a person was no longer on this earth. 

He places a calming hand on Dean’s shoulder. “You’re spiraling, my love. Sam isn’t going to change his mind. I think all the texts he’s been sending this week with questions about what to pack and what we’ll do there prove that he’s excited.” 

“I am looking forward to fishing together.” 

“See?” 

Dean’s shoulders are unbunching, which pleases Castiel the most. He gives Dean’s shoulder a squeeze before he gets back to his omelet. “Now please eat, so we can go upstairs.” 

Dean cuts half his omelet in half so he can spear it with his fork and eat it in one bite. 

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Sam will not be pleased if we can’t pick him up because you choked to death.” 

Dean bounces his eyebrows. “Oh, I think we know who’s going to be choking soo—” 

Castiel covers Dean’s mouth with one hand. “Dean.” 

“And it aint gonna be me,” Dean blurts out, the moment Cas drops his hand. 

Cas can’t help but dissolve into laughter. That makes Dean brighten and stuff a piece of bacon in his mouth. When Cas kisses him, he tastes like salt and happiness and home. Castiel knows that wherever he is, as long as they’re together, he’ll always feel like that, because he knows in Dean’s emerald eyes he’s enough. 

Dean never stops reminding him. He loves out loud, which Cas would have never understood until he was being loved by Dean. It’s in everything he does, whether he knows it or not. It’s in the way he’ll visit every art shop in five boroughs to find the canvases or the specific paints Cas wants. It’s in every meal he makes for them, or for anyone, Dean’s passion for cooking found in every bite. It’s why he got hired for three separate Valentine’s Day dinners thanks to the Christmas parties he cooked for. His love was in the way he turned working on Valentine’s Day into something for both of them, bringing Castiel along as his sous chef so they could spend a few hours cooking together (something they both love) and making a few extra servings to take home and eat together, naked in bed (another thing they love). Then, they would make love and, well, it was more than Castiel could have ever dreamed of. 

But that’s all of his life with Dean. 

It always feels like more than Castiel deserves. 

Whenever Castiel feels like that, Dean reminds him again. 

And now Castiel will support him through this, and whatever else comes next with as many shower blow jobs as Dean requires (another thing Cas loves because of how much Dean enjoys them). Later, after their shower, Cas will hold Dean’s hand on the drive to JFK, and he’ll show off a bit of the sign language they both learned so they could talk to Eileen (Dean’s idea, one of those out loud things Cas mentioned). He’ll take the backseat when he and Sam reach for the front door handle at the same time, both embarrassed for different reasons. Dean’s quick to scold Sam for not wanting to sit with Eileen, but Cas doesn’t miss the grateful look he gets when Cas insists on taking the back so the brothers can catch up. 

Eileen teaches him their sign names and more of the alphabet on their drive. 

When they stop for lunch, Sam is stunned into silence when Dean presents all the sandwiches and salads he made that morning. Just as Dean seems unsure if it’s a good or bad thing, Sam launches into nothing but praise for his cooking. Cas doesn’t miss the relief that flashes in Dean’s eyes. 

Sam insists Cas ride in the front the rest of the way. 

They take a few moments to get settled, and just as Cas is expecting Dean to pull back onto the highway, he turns in his seat instead. Resting his elbow on the seat, he squares a look back at Sam.

“So… I'm gonna ask Cas to marry me, probably real soon. Are you cool with that? You gotta let me know now.” 

Every mouth in the car drops open. Somehow, Castiel recovers first. “Dean?” His heart is crashing around in his chest. “What are you saying?” 

Dean gestures at Sam. “I'm saying, if he's gonna have a problem, it's a shorter trip back to JFK than it would be if we kept going. Sorry Eileen, but this guy here is the love of my life, and I'd sooner leave you two back at the airport than—” 

Sam cuts Dean off with an indignant “Dean!” while Cas wastes no time smothering Dean's ridiculous words with a deep kiss. 

“You lunatic, you absolute menace, I love you. Did you know that?” Cas can't contain his heart. “Are you asking me to marry you, Dean Winchester? Because I'm saying yes, there's no other answer in the world.” 

Dean peels them apart, his cheeks red. “Now, now, I'm not asking you yet. Cool your jets. I had to ask your parents, then Michael for some reason, and now I'm checking with Sammy here to cross all the i’s and dot all the t's, you know? There's even a ring in my duffle, just in case the moment presents itself.” 

Castiel can't believe what he's hearing. “ Dean! Get my ring out right this moment, before we get back on the road.” 

Dean ignores him to give Sam a pointed look. “Well? Can we get going?” 

Cas whips a look at Sam, who can only nod dumbly. A strangled sound leaves Cas’s throat when Dean puts the car in drive. 

“Sorry sweetheart, you gotta wait until I pop the question. Sonny has some ideas but I think the right moment will present itself.” 

“Sonny knows?” Cas is outraged. “Who else knows?” 

Dean slips his sunglasses over his stupidly handsome face. A face Cas is gonna marry soon. “Sam was the last person I had to run it by,” Dean reassures him, causing Sam to sputter from the backseat. 

“I kinda had a feeling,” Sam mumbles, which makes Dean and Cas protest, which makes Eileen laugh. 

Cas is still insisting Dean pull over when Dean takes his hand, and silences him by pulling that hand to his mouth, and pressing a kiss to his still-empty-but-not-for-long ring finger. 

“Can you wait a little longer for me, Cas?” 

“You know I'd wait forever, but please don't make me.”  

Dean throws his head back in a laugh, and Cas can't wait to make him do that for the rest of their lives. He plans to love Dean back, just as loudly.