1 - 20 of 63 Works in Caleb Widogast Has PTSD
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What do you do when you can't do anything?
When a sabotaged lesson plan infects Caleb, his colleagues, and their students with a rare and deadly disease, there is little to do but wait for a team of researchers to try and find a cure. But then, each moment seems an insurmountable task--avoid panic, take care of one another, manage their worsening symptoms, figure out who or what may have caused it, and stay alive long enough for medicine to be created.
There is something all too familiar about being locked in a Soltryce tower, trusting people who can't be trusted, and hoping death won't find you before morning.
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Essek Thelyss comes to Soltryce to deliver guest lectures and, on the side, cultivate the brand new Archmage of Domestic Protections. He’s hoping that Caleb Widogast will oblige him by picking up his predecessor’s interest in conspiring to steal Luxon beacons, after so rudely murdering Da’leth mere weeks before the culmination of their schemes.
Essek is prepared for espionage. He is not prepared to find a love that will change the course of his life.
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Mollymauk Tealeaf has dissociative identity disorder and is working his way through healing and through college when he meets the other members of the Mighty Nein.
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Something Soft Survives (A Shadowgast before either of them were ready) by hatter_jac
Fandoms: Critical Role (Web Series)
18 Jul 2025
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“What if Essek met Bren and that's what changed his heart?”
Before Caleb was a flame, he was a tool. Before Essek was a traitor, he was a spy. In the cold heart of Rexxentrum, one broken boy meets another—and neither walks away unchanged.
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Caleb has moments after hard days. He gets help during those nights and learns who has been comforting him through his nightmares.
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The Bright Queen's Royal Court Gala, an annual party hosted by the Queen and reported on by the news, casted its invitations. Essek was horrified to discover Caleb was not just expected to go because he was Essek's partner, he was invited. Which meant declining wasn't an option. Caleb's attendance, for some foreboding reason, was mandatory.
What's worse? The Bright Queen wants to speak to the professor. Privately.Series
- Part 12 of Modern AU
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Caleb and Essek had many goals for their anniversary trip to Molaesmyr. Discover the cause of the corruption, stop it if they could, uncover what led up to the fall of the city, reach the center tower, investigate the labyrinth beneath Molaesmyr, find the crystal well hidden inside; if they completed just one of those goals, they'd be satisfied with their work. Not overjoyed, but satisfied.
They hadn't expected to solve a centuries old mystery about the Mad Mage of Wildemount.Series
- Part 11 of Modern AU
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When I want to write some spicy wizard sex scenes unrelated to the main story, I'll post them here. Maybe they'll have plot, maybe they won't, I don't know. Tags will be in chapter summaries/chapter notes. I'll try to include where in the timeline each entry occurs if there's a specific place/reference chapter.
*The 'Caleb Widogast has PTSD' tag has been included because Caleb has issues with sexual intimacy and vulnerability and I want it there as a explanation/warning for those that are just looking for some smut and don't know the series. <3 I don't anticipate that Caleb will have any prominent symptoms, it's mostly just there to explain some of the dynamic, but if I write something where he does I will add a TW.Series
- Part 10 of Modern AU
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Caleb, with patience and carefulness unmatched, lowered the door handle and eased the door open. The singer’s vocals and the bassy music covered for the soft sounds of Caleb setting a pair of pajamas on the counter by Essek’s, every movement measured and deliberate.
Series
- Part 8 of Modern AU
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It's that time of year again. This time it's Modern AU's turn, and it's not just whump!
Series
- Part 6 of Modern AU
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Laying in Essek's bed, among the proverbial debris of his mental state, Caleb did his damnedest to forget. Forget the trip to Chastity's Nook, forget their fight, forget Beau's betrayal and Caleb's subsequent mental breakdown; he wanted to forget it all. Reality had been a whirlwind that had knocked him around all day and now, just for a moment, he wanted to forget so he could sleep without trying to break out of Essek's window.
If only his keen mind could fucking forget.Series
- Part 7 of Modern AU
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Caleb looks up into his blackened eyes, and remembers that Eadwulf has fared better than the both of them. Wulf, who has found meaning in death. Who has found peace, in some improbable way through his worship.
He smiles, teeth bloody, as he remembers the one burning feeling that has always struck him when looking at the man.
Jealousy.
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LO; VE: Slightly Altered Procedures by Chanse (SpottedEnchants)
Fandoms: Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series)
27 Aug 2024
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In which Caleb starts to write a bit more
Series
- Part 5 of Letters Old; Valued Eternal: A TS Subseries
- Part 80 of Touching Sentiments
- Part 26 of Touching Sentiments (Chronological)
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Entropy (noun): a scientific concept that is most commonly associated with a state of disorder, randomness, or uncertainty.
If someone had told Essek that the next two months were going to involve a sleepover, meeting an archfey, a death anniversary, the implosion of Den Thelyss, and Verin flirting with Mollymauk, he wouldn't have believed them. But standing in his living room, surveying the wreckage his mother created as Caleb and he cleaned it, Essek felt like he no longer controlled entropy, it controlled him.
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- Part 4 of Modern AU
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Caleb firmly believed that the difference between potential and probability was that anything could have potential, while only some things were probable. For instance, there was potential that the others would realize that Essek wasn't actually visiting his brother during the monthly sleepover, but the probability of that happening was insignificant. And if it happened, there was the potential that Caleb could get triggered and have a panic attack, but that seemed like such an exaggerated response to simply being discovered in a lie and Caleb was a better liar than that.
But then he saw Mollymauk holding up his phone, smiling and talking to someone, and his heart dropped like a concrete block.Series
- Part 3 of Modern AU
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Caleb thought quite a lot about probabilities. The probability that his class will understand the material. The likelihood that Jester will intrude on his personal life with the best of intentions. The inevitability that he would need to tell Essek about how he struggled with intimacy and the probability that he would need to tell him why. He even considered the dark possibility that Essek and his relationship could fall apart, despite the fact that he would hate to lose Essek for any reason. But it was still a possibility he considered, because Caleb had learned to consider all possibilities, regardless of their probabilities.
The one thing he didn't consider, when he asked his colleague to send Essek the research material on residuum, was the probability that Essek would learn of The Volstrucker Program.Series
- Part 2 of Modern AU
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Essek works with gravity all the time. He can recognize the pull of it, he knows how to manipulate it, and he can intensify it when he wants. But gravity cannot explain the pull he feels towards the Zemnian professor speaking on stage. He needs to know what it is about Professor Widogast that has resonated with him so quickly.
Caleb has a dark past. He's grown to accept that he's too traumatized by it to find interest in romance again. He goes to therapy, he works on his issues, but he never expected the work to actually pay off. Not until a handsome drow startles him outside the conference room after his presentation, wanting to ask some questions.Series
- Part 1 of Modern AU
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When the Mighty Nein parted ways, they left an important enemy alive, so he might stand trial.
The road to conviction is a long one, fraught with pain, judgment, and the terrifying reality of trying to convince the world to take the word of an assassin-turned-mercenary over one of its most prolific propagandists.
All rise for the trial of Trent Ikithon, former Archmage of Civil Influence.
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One week of relaxation, just the three of them, was all Caleb wanted. If Kingsley's curiosity wanted to know more about the eighth floor, Caleb would indulge. If Essek's curiosity wanted to see the illusory memories, he would indulge that as well.
He did not anticipate it backfiring so spectacularly.Series
- Part 5 of Two Wizards and a Blood Hunter
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Essek waited too long to tell the Mighty Nein about his disability, of course. Part of him relished the simplicity of having friends who didn't know, who didn't look at him that way or jump to help him or stumble over their wording choices. He was just Essek, who floated everywhere because that was what Essek did.
Series
- Part 1 of Irresistible Force Paradox