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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Why "schlock"? It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content we're striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

    Mostly Arcane and Bond pairings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    642
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    13
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Zdecydowanie, znaczącym był okres, pomiędzy tym jak Bond załamał się w kaplicy z powodu śmierci M, a czasem, gdy pewny siebie wszedł do biura Mallory, aby przyjąć swoje nowe zadanie. A co ważniejsze, kto poskładał go na nowo? Zasadniczo, mnóstwo porno z fabułą.

    Series
    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    6,295
    Chapters:
    3/17
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    123
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Q has a routine. It involves 007, the MI6 nap room, and the perfect little pill.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,764
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    188
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Gareth Mallory isn’t entirely certain how he ended up here, but he’s sure there must be a logical explanation. After all, he’s always been a man of reason, of practicality. This, however, seems at face value to involve neither of those qualities. And yet…

    Between the shadows of past trauma and the demands of present duty, he must decide what he truly wants—and whether his pride will permit him to lean on someone else. Can he allow himself to indulge in such frivolous pursuits as he once believed were long behind him?

    A story of emotional growth, found family, and the quiet strength of choosing each other.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,913
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    218
  5. Tags
    Summary

    A queer compilation of Q/male reader as private husbands/boyfriends while working at M16. The descent from obvious crush into lovers.
    I appreciate any requests from readers who enjoy this story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,336
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    290
  6. Tags
    Summary

    In which the reasons for Q’s very sad dating life are discussed. Bright Star ‘verse, but may be read as a standalone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,156
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    158
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Carl Morck saves the guy in a woollen coat from the indignity of queuing in the municipal office.
    Gets kissed for it.
    The rest is history.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,338
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    775
  8. Tags
    Summary

    At the insistence of Brad Crawford, who saved Tiago years ago from Olivia's mistake; Silva trades a needed computer program to be delivered into Kritiker's network for one Aya Fujimiya. Aya has been abused by Kritiker since she was a child and is willing enough to be traded but weary of Silva's intentions.
    Yet Silva, longing for a family neither he nor Severine can have, decides to simply adopt the young assassin and give her the family she's not had her entire short life. Aya think Silva is crazy, but readily adjusts to a life where she is safe and loved as a daughter not wanted as a commodity. Soon she discovers the Omega gifts she suppressed as a child are starting to come back.
    But the past isn't going to let Aya go, and an enemy from a long-forgotten history wants her for his own. An enemy with ties to Farfarello the man who once hurt Aya deeply to save her from a worse fate.
    But not all is what it seems, and as Bond discovers he has family, this unseen enemy strives to destroy them all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,501
    Chapters:
    18/39
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    185
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Q visits his parents after spending more than half of his life pretending to be dead to them. Bond doesn't have the luxury of pretending to be dead as he is held prisoner by the members of the organization who knows way more than he could ever dream of. However, he has to determine if his fellow double-o has truly betrayed them and his attempt at his final mission may just be that – his actual final mission.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,837
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    221
  10. Tags
    Summary

    My 2025 submissions for the MI6 Cafe's Last Drabble Writer Standing competition.

    Week 1: FOIL
    Sometimes regret is sweet.

    Week 2 : BENCH AND WATER IMAGE
    Q just wants a home for every stray.

    Week 3: Each paragraph must have one fewer sentences in it than the last, ending with one sentence. The word count is 200 words exactly.

    Week 4: ?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    447
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    93
  11. Tags
    Summary

    James Bond and colleagues participate in a scheme to rescue an exploited Omega brainwashed into subservience (Q). Everything seems to be going as planned… which is not how James necessarily planned it. This story is unfinished (discontinued).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,646
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    98
  12. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn’t Alec’s idea. More of a stupid joke from his idiot friend. Some niche dating app for “professionals with demanding jobs.” Not suspicious at all.
    Q didn’t mean to download the stupid app. Well, a sober Q didn’t. Q, after three glasses of wine and lamenting to Eve about his monkish lifestyle, certainly did.
    or
    A cat glares Q into an online chat with a potential creep with great thighs.

    [october prompt: online dating]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,370
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    175
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Перед долгой командировкой очень важно как следует попрощаться со своим партнером.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Hits:
    27
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Mallory read Q's memo.

    "One week. Up to 25 staff. Borrow that castle near Inverness, or Skyfall if not available. Run a Traitors-style event. Get Claudia Winkleman or Alan Cumming to host and select the Traitors, so not even you know who they are?" M looked up. "You want to play, don't you?"

    "I think it would be useful field training. Sir."

    "Mm-hm. Run up a budget proposal. We're not running to a hundred-grand prize pot, I warn you. Helicopters, we can negotiate. Oh, and Q?"

    "Sir?"

    "I'm in."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,803
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    351
  15. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    335
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    39
  16. Tags
    Summary

    吉姆·哈克去布鲁塞尔出差前得知被列入恐怖分子的死亡名单,而007被指派为他的保镖来保护他(和他的地下情人汉弗莱·阿普比)的安危。

     

    预警:本篇包含大量刻板印象、粗俗笑话和对政治的不切实际批判,基于内容考量,任何人都不该观看

    Language:
    中文-普通话 國語
    Words:
    18,639
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    57
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Q never says anything, but those jokes land over him like rotten fruits, their bitter aftertaste sticking at the back of his throat. Even though the physical aspect of the field isn’t his strong suit — and will never be — he doesn’t want to be catered to, protected, infantilized, or considered like a burden.

    ***

    His head slams back down on the ground.

    The last thought that makes it to his attention spears through him like a knife.

    I can never let James know about this, ever.

    The shame follows him even into unconsciousness.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,073
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    3,004
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Les mots s'échangent, les espoirs naissent. Lorsqu'il n'y a que la déception au bout du chemin, les regrets dominent.

    James aimerait comprendre pourquoi, à l'approche des fêtes de Noël, Mallory est si distant avec tout le monde. De fil en aiguille, il découvre un passé brisé, des promesses qui s'échappent, et un coeur gonflé de remords qui ne demande qu'une main tendue pour l'aider à se libérer du poids du silence.

    Mais au sein du MI-6, les conflits demeurent, et les traîtres se multiplient, attendant dans l'ombre le meilleur moment pour frapper et mettre un terme à une quiétude qui n'a que peu duré.

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    22,226
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    362
  19. Tags
    Summary

    An ambush scatters them in the wet backstreets of London. When Bond finds Q injured and cornered, he has to balance two instincts at once: keep them both alive in hostile streets, and keep Q standing when his legs threaten to give way. Between danger and rain, there’s no room for argument—only Bond’s steady hand and Q’s fragile trust.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    777
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    249
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A seaside date, or Q’s latest escape plan?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    81

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