sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms
- Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling (16)
- Narcos (TV) (1)
Recent works
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Liable to Be Recalled at Any Time by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Aug 2025
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Summary
After the war, Draco Malfoy files a relocation form, registers his Paris address with the Ministry, and waits to be summoned for trial. Any day now, he thinks.
Nine years later, he’s still waiting.
He restores frescoes. He rarely uses magic. He’s not hiding, exactly, but no one’s come looking. Then, on a Thursday in September, a metro door opens, and Hermione Granger steps out.
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All Bets Are Off by byanca_black, Doodleholic (Kayka), Nusilverwolf, sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Jul 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy has done his very best to lay low—finished all of his reports on time, caught the baddies, and been at the disposal of Hermione Granger, Beast Liaison. So when he's forced to go on a mission—to the southern part of America of all places—with her, he's to say the least...disgruntled. To make matters worse, she's announced that they are to put on the charade of being enamored with each other. Just his luck.
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Summary
Hermione Granger is not in love with her husbands.
She marries them anyway—by law, by magic, by political compromise—then moves into the guest cottage they build her on the Dorset coast. It has built-in bookshelves, custom tile work, and a faint smell of sea salt and lavender. She works late, eats dinner with them sometimes, and goes to bed alone.
They are not in love. But they are trying.
Point is, they’re all still figuring it out.
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Summary
Nine months after *Sting Like a Dee*, Draco is still living above the gym in Thornton Heath, still broke, still in possession of one fork, and still very much in love with Dudley Dursley—who wears grey joggers like a threat and lime green Crocs like a dare.
Things are simple. Or at least, simple-adjacent.
Enter Hermione Granger: single, stressed, and on the verge of a full-blown sexual crisis. A chance encounter at the Croydon community pool turns into a drink, a kiss, and a half-joking, half-hopeful suggestion that maybe they should all sleep together.
Draco says he’s gay. Hermione says she was only being polite. Dee says nothing at all.
And yet.
Featuring:
• Unsolicited dick pics
• Croydon’s most hostile cat (still)
• Draco’s slow-burning bi panic
• Hermione in her “just get laid” era
• Rom-coms as a coping mechanism -
The Weight of Good Things by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Jul 2025
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Summary
Hermione Granger is forty, divorced, and theoretically immune to broad shoulders and rolled-up sleeves. Then she sees Gregory Goyle hauling furniture across Diagon Alley and discovers that some things are harder to ignore than others.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
After the War, there is a boom of marriage and divorce. Hermione finds herself among the statistics of war heroes who couldn’t save their marriages. When she receives the invoice from her solicitor, she has no choice but to answer an ad in The Daily Prophet: Malfoy Heir Seeking Nanny.
But, everything is not quite what it seems as Hermione navigates the waters of post-divorce life.
GES Winner 2020: Best Love Story
Series
- Part 2 of Fourteen Thousand Galleons-Verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 110,611
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 2,191
- Kudos:
- 4,541
- Bookmarks:
- 1,594
- Hits:
- 151,431
Bookmarked by sportfucker (SportFucker)
20 Aug 2025
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Summary
Of course Harry feels weird that Draco and Neville are engaged—they’re only twenty-six years old. What’s the rush? And to make matters worse, ever since Neville and Draco’s very odd, very Pureblood engagement party, something is off between Draco and Harry. There’s no logical reason the engagement would change things between them. Draco’s just his friend. Isn’t he?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,032
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 240
- Kudos:
- 401
- Bookmarks:
- 132
- Hits:
- 5,572
Bookmarked by sportfucker (SportFucker)
22 Jul 2025
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A Simple Kind of Life by terracotta_and_lace
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
23 Jul 2025
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Summary
After answering a help wanted advertisement in the Quibbler, moving far away from everyone she had ever known, Hermione Granger couldn't shake the undeniable feeling that for the first time in her life, it might be a sign - an answer to all her problems - a change that could have an immeasurable impact on the life she desperately wished to call her own. When a familiar face collides with her newfound peace, she suddenly finds herself unexpectedly drawn to the last person she ever would have imagined. As Draco Malfoy's son, Scorpius, begins to exhibit inexplicable behaviors, it's up to Hermione and Draco to work together to break the mysterious curse before it's too late.
Bookmarked by sportfucker (SportFucker)
15 May 2025
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Mystery Work
Part of Make me your villain fest, Kitchenwench’s Fics
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by sportfucker (SportFucker)
30 Apr 2025
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[podfic] The Politician's Wife by pir8fancier by JocundaSykes
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
06 Dec 2022
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Summary
This story is set twenty-three years after the fall of Voldemort. Our main characters are Ministry employees, middle-aged, and the majority of them not very happy.
Podfic of The Politician's Wife by pir8fancier.
Bookmarked by sportfucker (SportFucker)
17 Mar 2025