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‘Hey, hey, Sam!’ Dean shouted as he ran to grab his brother, who have just collapsed. ‘Hey, what happened?’
The younger brother sighed painfully, tried to stand up, but failed, so he just stayed there, in Dean’s arms.
‘It’s okay, the headache appears again… I’m fine.’ Sam covered his eyes, which were red from the upcoming tears because he felt so miserable, so powerless, so tired all over again. But no, he won’t start crying, not and in front of Dean. Not and this time.
‘Oh, yeah, you are fine! Of course! You are always fine!' The elder brother shouted, after settling Sam in the nearest chair. 'Y'know, I get sick of your shit! This is happening every day since we trapped Crowley and you almost finished the last trial! The headache, the bleeding, your collapsing! For fuck's sake, Sam, how is this fine!’
‘Well, if you had let me finish it-‘
‘If I had let you finish it now you’d be dead!’ Dean buried his face in his hands and sighed. Tears were filling his eyes, but he was too furious and pissed and hopeless to allow them to slide off.
‘Yeah, but it would be over, Dean, the whole demon thing, you could have a normal life and, and maybe a family…’
‘You are my family, Sam!’ Dean felt his heart sank only by the thought of losing his brother. ‘You are all i have,’ he tried to say, but he couldn’t. The words had stuck in his throat, unwilling to come out.
Sam looked away from his brother. He didn’t want to talk about this again.
‘I wanna help you. I have to help you!’ Dean mumbled after a moment.
‘For God’s sake, Dean, stop with that! I’m not little child, it’s not your job to watch over me any more!’ Sam tried to stand up from the chair, but his body had become so heavy all of the sudden.
‘But you will always be my little brother and it will always be my job. No matter of what! This is the thing I’m good in’ His voice became tender ‘Watching over you, Sam. So please let me do my job. Let me help you…’ He kneed in front of his bother and grabbed his hands, ‘please’ he added, almost whispering.
‘I don’t need help, I need time’ Sam said faintly after a long pause, confident in his words. ‘Time will heal me.’ He smiled a bit, his face wet from the tears, and squeezed Dean’s hands as tight as he could.
‘This is not how time works.’ The elder brother replied calmly and couldn’t help himself, but bite his bottom lip.
He wanted to shout; to curse everything and everyone. God, the fallen angels, the demons… Everyone.
Even himself, because he realised he was praying to Cas again. Ahhh. That bastard… That stupid, stupid bastard.
He sighed and looked at his brother. Sam’s eyes were shut and he was breathing heavily. The messy brown hair was covering some of the wounds on his face. He smiled as the tears filled up his eyes, blurring his sight for a few seconds.
Dean swallowed his tears ‘Bitch’.
A single 'Jerk' was what come in response.
None of them spoke again that night.