Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Are you sure you want to? I-I-I mean we can… or you could just… Are you sure?”

You couldn't help but chuckle at the sudden nervousness that didn't usually belong on Josh Washington. You remember how confident he used to be, how into it and how dominant he would be whenever you both got into such a position like this.

But that was before his face had sharp teeth poking out from a laceration on his face.

He was worried he was going to hurt you.

You had to admit it was sweet. Before, it was rare that Josh could be sweet in bed with you. After? He hardly let anything go past a little bit of making out. If things went right, this would be your first time together after everything that's happened. “R-really babe, we can, uh… I can get you a toy or something, or we can wait if you're not ready, or--”

“Josh.” You stop him, cupping his face and giving him a smile. You both were halfway there; he had you on your back and was between your legs, your shirt off and tossed somewhere about the room and his traditional plaid unbuttoned with nothing underneath. You wanted this. Something told you that Josh needed this, but he wouldn't let himself admit it. “I want to. Very badly, may I add.”

“You're sure?”

“300%.” Josh made a face, but you brought him closer by his face, kissing him sweetly. “Please?” You give him a sincere look. “If you don't like it we can stop okay? I’m sure Mike will be glad to take up the offer if you're not up for it.”

It was meant to be teasing, something like a joke to lighten Josh’s nerves, but he growled softly and pressed forward, pressing a hard kiss to your lips. That was the Josh you remembered; the possessive one, the one that wouldn't let you leave bed until you knew just who you belonged to.

The kiss was hard, but it slowly grew more gentle, and you knew that, even with his usual tendencies to be rough, Josh was going to take this slow with you. He didn't want to hurt you, he was terrified to. It's why he'd been so reluctant about sex before this. He's terrified he'll lose control with you. You're certain he'll be fine.

The kiss is soft, a promise of sorts, something more for Josh, you think, than it was for you. Your arms slip around his neck when, one hand tangling into his hair. You flick your tongue against his lip, and after a moment of hesitation, he lets you in. Your tongues slip and slide over one another, exploring each other's mouths like this is your first time all over again. You guess, in a way, it is. It's your first time after everything that's happened, your first time with Josh after he was released from the hospital for his injuries and health. Of course, you wouldn't have it any other way.

He pulled away from your mouth then, trailing his lips down your neck, and you tilted your head to the side to give him the room he wanted to do as he pleased. You giggled softly at the feeling of his sharp teeth brushing against your skin, and he pulled back and raised a brow. “What is it? I can't be sexy when you're giggling over there.” His smile was crooked, just the way you loved it, and it made you think you could pull out the old Josh in bed.

“Your teeth,” you said, glancing at them. “They tickle. I like it.” A blush bloomed across Josh’s face, as if he were embarrassed that his teeth got in the way, but you just giggled again. “Josh, really, I liked it. They just tickled! Don't let that stop you on my account.”

It took a reassuring smile to bring Josh back into it, and he started pressing more kisses to your throat, and you held him close, legs loosely wrapped around his waist. Ever so gently his teeth scraped against your skin, drawing out a soft gasp, and he pulled an even more audible one once his teeth brushed past your jugular. It sent a thrill through you, and the hand that was tangled in his hair tightened slightly. “Josh,” you whispered softly. “Josh, please.” It was a gentle plea, one he was scared to carry out, but for you, he’d try.

His teeth were gentle at first, grazing against your skin, teasing you, but once Josh found his courage, he sunk in, bringing about a soft moan from your lips. He sucked and nipped, lapping at the skin to soothe it before pulling away. A nice bruise bloomed where his mouth once was, and already you looked dazed with glee. Number one thing you loved about Josh in bed: he loved to mark you, all over the place. Made you feel all kinds of wanted and beautiful when he did.

“Happy?” he asked with a soft pant, not fully willing to admit that he totally missed you covered in the bruises he’d make.

“I will be,” you teased, giving him a small grin, one that he returned.

“You insatiable little fuck,” he joked, kissing the bruise before kissing his way down, down, down. He felt proud he didn’t feel an urge to just keep sucking and biting in the same spot, that he hadn’t hurt you more than you cared to be hurt. Maybe he really could do this after all.

“It’s been a little while, so sorry I’m a little impatient to get fucked by my boyfriend.” You giggled softly as he kissed down your tummy, always your most ticklish, and he took that advantage, pressing little kisses and tiny nibbles all over to make you squirm and laugh.

As his mouth attacked your tummy, his hands made quick work on the button of your jeans, pulling down the zipper and gently tugging the material down your legs, leaving you in your underwear. He trailed his lips down again, dragging them across your hip and drawing a soft gasp from your lips. You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him, and much to your pleasure, Josh seemed to blush under the attention. He glanced up at you with a raised brow, shifting your legs over his shoulders and pausing. “Can I help you?”

“I'm sure you could,” you answered. Your smile was sweet and your head was tilted, marveling at the man between your legs. “You just look so cute. I kinda missed this.”

“Cute? Really?” Josh snorted. “You're ruining my image here, babe.”

“Oh please, you ruined that the moment you opened your mouth.”

“I did, did I?” Josh clicked his tongue, giving you a sultry look that had you blushing instead. “Maybe I should find something better to do with my mouth then.”

You opened your own mouth to make a remark about the cheesy comment before his thumb was sliding your underwear to the side and his tongue was easing itself against your folds. You sighed softly, your head leaning back as he worked his tongue against you, gentle, teasing. You couldn't tell if he was really taking it slow just to tease or if he was still worried about going overboard. You could hardly push him, but you can encourage him. Your fingers slid into his dark hair, and a soft purr emitted from his chest. His tongue moved a bit faster against you, drawing out little panting noises and gasps from you, and a couple of giggles from the tickling sensation of his couple of fangs brushing against your thigh. He'd let out a soft breath, something that could be a laugh if he weren't occupying himself.

He paused for a moment, drawing out a low whine from you and a soft breathy laugh from him in response. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, slicking them up before sliding one into you, pumping it quick and fast before returning his mouth to its rightful place. It wasn't long before he slipped in the second, a louder moan leaving your lips as he started up a steady pace.

It felt normal to him to be doing this, like he didn't put you and everyone else through hell, like he didn't almost become a monster. For the first time in a long time, he felt normal, and that only made him feel so much better. He tugged you closer by your thighs, tongue and jaw doing a damn good exercise and working in perfect unison with his fingers to make up for the loss of time between the two of you. He missed the way that you squirmed beneath him, how you would claw at his back, make the cutest noises and the way your chest would heave up and down once you both were finished.

You were panting out his name like a mantra, and he could feel your thighs trembling as he continued, tongue unrelenting against you, fingers curling against your walls. The heat was coiling up in your belly, and your body was getting hot. Your grip in his hair was tight, encouraging him to go on even though you weren't sure how much longer you'd last. You wanted to get to the real fun before it was over. It couldn't be over so soon!

“Josh,” you breathed. “Josh, fu-fuck, I need.. I n-need…” He pulled away from you, mouth shiny with the slick from between your legs -- a sight that made you blush -- waiting for you to finish your demand. The sight was something that you missed so much that it distracted you from what you were saying. What did you need?

You watched the way he licked his lips and were immediately reminded of what you wanted to say.

Him. You needed him. You needed him so much your fucking body ached down to the marrow of your bones. You wanted all of him close to you, no space between the two of you and then you wanted him even closer than that.

“Please,” you whimpered, and immediately his fingers were pulled out of you, and he was crawling up your body to press a hard kiss to your lips. It took the breath from your lungs and yeah his grip was too tight on your hips but you didn't care, adding it to the track record of all the other marks on your body.

You could hear the sound of his zipper being undone and he was trying so hard to keep the kiss going while he pushed his pants down that the edges of his sharp teeth brushed against your lips and made you giggle, only earning a growl in response. He removed your underwear as well, and you think you heard tearing but you're not too sure, all your senses focusing on Josh. Everything was Josh.

You could feel him pressed up against you, waiting. “Are you sure?” he asked, a breath of a whisper that was so airy that you almost didn't hear it. You thought you'd imagined it, but you loved it all the same.

“Yes,” you whispered back, and then he was pushing into you, bringing out a gasp and god you missed this. Your hands raised up, one curling around the back of his neck and the other bunching his shirt at his shoulder. He pressed another kiss to your lips before he started up his pace, gentle at first. It was soft and loving and it made your heart soar as you two kissed.

“Ho-ly shit, you feel so good,” he murmured as he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. He kept a good grip on your hip as he rocked into you. “Missed this -- missed you -- so much, fuck.”

“I-I could say the same,” you replied with a small laugh.

“Why don't you?”

You gave him a look. “You're balls deep inside me and that's what you want me to say?”

Josh gave you a shrug. “I mean I'm open to other options.”

“I can do that.” You smirked a little bit, gasping a little as he thrusted in such a particular fashion. “Please, for the love of god and all things fucking holy, please fuck me. Fuck me hard, show me how much you really missed me.”

Josh smirked. “That's what I'm talking about.” He kicked it up a notch then, his hips moving faster against yours, causing your legs to tighten around his waist, pulling him in deeper with every thrust. “Fuck,” he grunted, rolling back on his heels and pulling you with him. He thrusted his hips up into you, pulling you down on him, the obscene slap of skin on skin filling the room with the gasps and pants and groans that left your throats.

Your arms wound around his neck, roughly pulling his lips to yours so hard the edges of his sharp teeth left a small cut on the corner of your lips. You heard some strange noise as you kissed, something you didn't make, and you realized it was coming from Josh. A soft purr was emitting from his chest, something that sounded content and yet hungry at the same time. He was hungry; you could tell by the way his body moved against yours. He kissed you like he wanted to devour you whole, and you'd let him. You'll keep in mind how to get him to purr later. It was cute.

But you couldn't think about cute. You wanted Josh to have you, to have his way with you, and with the way he gripped your hips, left tiny crescent moons near the jutting bones, growled with satisfaction every time you cried out his name, you could see he was enjoying himself. He was letting himself relax and be normal, letting himself have this.

You chanted his name like a mantra, feeling his chest pressed against your own as he thrusted into you, pulling you down on him every time he bucked up. He had you at such a good angle that you cried out with every thrust, and when he brushed his lips past the sensitive skin on your throat you couldn't have begged him faster. He sunk his teeth into your throat, sucking at the tender skin and making you clutch onto him even tighter than before. His pace never slower, not once did it waver, and if he latched on for a little bit longer than he did the first time you brushed it off and fell in love with sex all over again.

“J-Josh, fuck, I-I’m…” You could hardly finish, moans becoming your every breath as he took you at a hard, almost brutal pace. It was animalistic, savage, needy and hungry. He had to be close as well, he wouldn’t be pushing you this hard if he wasn’t.

As he pulled away from your throat, you could hear his whispers, voice thick with sex and laced with this enticing deep growl that excited your bones. “That’s it, fuck, come for me,” he growled. “I’m sure the neighbors missed how much fun we used to have. Probably makes them all hot and bothered, thinking about how such a pretty thing can make such obscene noises. But.” Josh moved one of his hands up, pressing it against your mouth and causing your eyes to go wide. “I only want you to make those pretty noises for me, yeah? Let me hear you crying just for me. Beg me a little bit and maybe -- just maybe -- I can let you come. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded vigorously, not minding the hand over your mouth. It turned you on in all kinda ways. He slowly removed it, and you could feel yourself wanting to let go but you couldn’t yet, and as his hand ever so subtly curled around the base of your throat, you had a constant reminder to keep yourself in check. “J-Josh, I… O-oh my god, please, please please please.” Your whimpers turned to almost quiet sobs, begging him to let you release, give you the high that you’ve only ever felt with him. You were starting to overstimulate, his unrelenting pace and constant pressure holding you by the collar while you struggled to throw yourself over the edge. You wanted to scream and thrash and cry, but Josh had you under his thumb.

His thumb brushed over your pulse in your throat, ever so gently pressing against it, making you gasp, and he only smirked. “That’s it. Music to my ears. I’ve missed that.” He was starting to grunt and his hips were beginning to stutter, signaling his soon to be release. “Shit, missed how good you felt. You ready to come?” Of course you were. He damn well knew you were. He had you wrapped around his finger and begging him to let go, and he knew it. You nodded, whimpering and squirming, and his smirk only grew wider. It looked dangerous, with his scar.

“Come.”

It was so simple then. You were thrown over the edge into oblivion, your body giving in to the need as you orgasmed. He placed his hand over your mouth again, keeping you quiet, muffled, only for him to hear you as he himself came, filling you with absolute warmth inside and pushing you even farther into your daze.

He removed his hand and you both rode out your orgasms together, foreheads pressed together before he captured your lips again, kissing you so sweetly but there was still a twinge of that animalistic nature you’d just observed lingering. You returned it, your arms around his neck pulling him closer as you fell backwards onto your back and taking him with you. You kissed until you’d calmed, and with a quiet grunt, he pulled out of you, marveling at the sight between your legs. “Oh yeah, definitely missed this,” he said with a wink, and you flushed.

“Shut up,” you mumbled, trembling at the feeling of the warm liquid running down your thighs. You swung your legs over the bed, and when you tried to stand you’d failed, your legs absolute jelly. “Goddamnit Washington, you did it again.”

“Still got the talent, nice.” He chuckled and picked you up then, carrying you off to the bathroom so you’d be able to clean yourself up. You smacked his chest playfully and leaned your head against his shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to the flannel that was still there. He set you down and gave you a rag, and as you cleaned yourself he marveled at the bruises he’d left.

You glanced up with a small smirk. “See something you like?” you asked with a small laugh.

“I missed you like this.” Josh leaned against the counter then and hummed, crossing his arms over his chest.

You laughed again. “Sitting on the toilet cleaning myself ‘cause you have no idea what a condom is?” you teased. Josh rolled his eyes and came forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You smiled, happy all this had worked out. “How are you feeling?” you asked softly, setting the rag aside and looking up to the other. Sure, he might have looked like he was having a great time, but who knows about the aftermath? How did getting so intimate with one another affect him?

Josh’s face softened. “I’m okay,” he said. “Tired, and kinda really loving you with those bruises, but I’m okay.”

You laughed softly. “Well lucky for you, I think these are gonna last a good long while. Good thing I’ve got sweaters out the wazoo, or else I’d never be able to leave the house.”

“I’m not gonna complain about that.” Josh picked you up again, and even if he says he’s okay, you know this is something he’s going to need to cool down from. He got almost dangerously animalistic, and you didn’t want to bring it up out of fear it’ll freak him out. He’s finally getting the chance to feel even the slightest bit normal. You can’t take that away from him.

He set you down on the bed again, and you could kind of feel your legs now, but they were still too jelly to function. You won’t be leaving bed for awhile. “Don’t forget to set your alarm for your meds,” you said, scrounging around the bed in hopes of finding your underwear. You didn’t feel like being naked.

“Okay, mom,” Josh drawled.

“We literally just fucked, please do not.”

He laughed as your hand was roaming across the sheets, until finally you came upon a bunched up ball of fabric. You grinned to yourself and pulled them towards you, unfolding them before your face fell. “Aww, man,” you whined, pouting a bit as you looked over the fabric. It was torn and positively unwearable. You thought you’d heard a tear but you didn’t wanna believe it.

“What is it?” Josh asked, slipping himself under the covers. You turn towards him, pout still prominent on your lips, holding up the destroyed clothing item. He seemed confused for a second as to what it even was, but once he realized, his face flamed. “Whoops.”

“You so fucking owe me a new pair.”