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It was an uncommonly hot afternoon, even the faint breeze felt warm and stuffy against his skin, the fact that he was sweating like there was no tomorrow didn’t help to improve his mood either, Merlin always got grumpy when the weather was like that, everything about it was uncomfortable and annoying, the clothes sticking to his skin, all the sweat, the freaking bugs, it was a little taste of hell in his opinion.
He couldn’t wait for a cold shower, Merlin always thought that PE was torture, but with that temperatures, it was just sadistic, honestly. He had decided to run tracks today, Merlin was never great on sports, really, but he always loved running, it grounded him, the noise of his feet hitting the ground, the wind passing through him, the speed and the burning of his muscles helping to clear his mind, otherwise always so full of messy, noisy and never ending thoughts.
Merlin was just getting to the showers when he heard a noise behind the lockers, it seemed like someone was choking or something, his mind immediately working a mile a minute, trying to remember everything he heard or read about choking, asphyxiations and the like, already planning the best way to help whoever it was, preparing himself to the worst and best case scenario. He could not have prepared himself for that, tough. There was in all his golden glory, Arthur Pendragon, Mr. Posh and Athletic™, down on his knees, choking on some older boy’s cock.
His body froze, he had no idea, whatsoever, on how to act on that situation, rationally, he knew he should turn around and leave, but his legs felt like chunks of lead, too heavy to move, holding him in place. Just like he was sensing the intrusion, Arthur looked up and his eyes locked with Merlin’s, but there was nothing there, no anger, no surprise, nothing but a heartbreakingly sadness that made Merlin’s throat tighten in a very painful way.
The other boy was grabbing him by his hair in a way that looked painful, he fucked Arthur’s mouth roughly and unforgivingly, Arthur’s eyes never left Merlin’s, that bright blue eyes full of sorrow and now tears that threatened to fall at any minute now, the boy came messily and loudly, holding Arthur’s head against his crotch until he was coughing, come dripping from his mouth making a mess on his face while the blond tried to catch his breath.
“They were right about you, Pendragon. You really are very good with your mouth.” Said the boy mockingly, tucking himself back on his pants, turning around and leaving, without even sparing a glance at Arthur, who was still kneeling on the cold floor, face a mess of tears, spit and come, looking so lost that was painful to see. Merlin’s legs then decided to come back to life, he came out of his hiding place near the lockers and walked towards Arthur, but stopped a few steps before, he didn’t know what to do, or what to say, he didn’t even know if he should do or say something.
“Arthur, are you okay?” He asked, his voice small and uncertain, anything could happen really, Arthur could snap at him, call him a creep for staying there and watch, for God’s sake, he could even punch the daylights out of him. Arthur, however, only looked at him, still kneeled, still messy and still so, so lost.
He was actually crying now, his eyes rapidly becoming red and puffy, his shoulders rising and falling in little sobs that he tried really hard to contain but wasn’t really succeeding. “Come here.” Merlin said, offering his hand if he needed the support to get up, Arthur took it and Merlin gently guided him to the nearest sink, helping him to wash all that mess out of his face. “There. Better now, right?” Arthur simply nodded, his eyes glued to the ground, like he was ashamed, Merlin knew he probably was, if asked, Merlin would say that there was no reason for it, really, what Arthur decided to do and with who was none of his business, or anyone’s for that matter, but Merlin understood why Arthur could think differently.
“Thank you.” Arthur said with a broken whisper, turning around and leaving, his eyes still glued to the floor. Merlin’s heart ached a little at the sight.
~*~
It was still the third period and he already whished he was dead, well, not dead really, but in an alternative reality where he didn’t have to deal with algebra. It wasn’t that he was bad at it, quite the contrary, really, but classes could be exhausting, especially for him, sitting in a chair listening to the same thing for hours was tiring and boring, he felt caged in that room, restless and on edge, the classroom was Merlin’s version of hell, designed especially for him. Still, he did his best, always, he wanted to make his mother proud, to make all her sacrifice worth it, Merlin was painfully aware of all the double shifts she had to take to be able to afford his education is such a renowned school, even with his scholarship, it was still expensive as fuck.
The professor was handing back their tests from the past week, it came as no surprise to anyone that Merlin aced his and had scored the highest grade of the class. He always understood numbers so much better than people, in maths there were patterns and rules, he could always calculate the outcome, people were complicated, unpredictable, there were no rules and no way of knowing the outcome of things. Will always said that Merlin’s problem is that he thinks too much, that with people the best way was to go with the flow, to let situations follow their course naturally. In Merlin’s opinion, that was easier said than done.
Just as he was gathering his things to join Will for lunch, Merlin felt someone’s hand closing around his wrist, when he turned around, he was very surprised to see none other than Arthur Pendragon, standing there in all his blond glory, looking a little sheepishly and a little uncertain, which clashed so badly with his muscular frame and bad boy pose that almost made him laugh, but Merlin graciously reined on himself.
“Can I help you?” He asked when Arthur made no move to speak and neither let go of his wrist.
“Yes, I was just thinking… If you could help me a little with this class? I saw that you aced the test, so you probably know what you’re doing. I’m not doing very great.” Confessed him, his eyes averted to the ground, a light pink blush colouring his cheeks.
“Sure, we can go to the library after class and try to go through the problems again, see what works best for you.” Merlin had been completely taken by surprise with Arthur’s request, he honestly didn’t expect the boy to ever talk to him again after what happened in the locker room.
“Does it really have to be in the library?” Arthur asked with a pained groan. “That place smells like my grandma’s attic.”
“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t said such an absurd, you heretic. Old books must be treasured and respected.” Said Merlin earning a roll of eyes and a snort from Arthur. “If not in the library, where?”
“I don’t know, Merlin, can’t we go to your house?”
“Yeah, sure, if you don’t mind.” Said Merlin a little sceptically, people like Arthur were used to posh mansions and sumptuous places, Merlin’s home was going to be a far cry from that, he couldn’t actually imagine Arthur there.
“Of course not.” Answered Arthur a little indignantly. “Meet me at the parking lot after class, I’ll be waiting you by my car, I drive a…”
“Obnoxiously red and expensive Porsche, yeah, Arthur, everyone is aware.” Merlin joked getting an offended huff. “I’ll meet you there.”
Will was still waiting him at the hall when he left the classroom, it wasn’t until they were already in line to get their food that Merlin’s hunger hit him hard, he hadn’t realized how starving he was until now.
“So, have you decided to benefit from Arthur’s carnal talents as well? I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Will said as soon as they reached their table.
“What the hell are you talking about?” It didn’t actually sound very clear, with all the food Merlin was shoving down his mouth, but Will seemed to understand all the same.
“C’mon dude, everyone knows about Pendragon’s reputation, the guy is quite the cockslut. It’s common knowledge that he will suck any dick that’s left within his reach. His name is kind of being dragged through the mud recently.” Hearing that awful words from his friend’s mouth was like a punch in the gut for Merlin.
“That’s not only very disrespectful but also so not of you concern, Will. Arthur’s body and life are his own, he can do whatever the hell he pleases and with who the hell he wants. No one should be saying shit about him.” His tone was harsh and left no room for discussion, that kind of thing really got on his nerves.
“Geez, Merls, there’s no need to get your knickers in a twist, I will shut up now, I was only trying to warn you.”
“Whatever.” Just like that, his hunger was gone, all that was left was a bitter taste on his mouth.
~*~
After risking his life on the death trap Arthur called a car, they were finally at Merlin’s home, it was a tiny brick-built house with a very colourful assortment of flowers on the front yard, the interior was cosy and homey, Merlin always loved coming home, the smell of peppermint and chocolate, the safety and familiarity, the comfortable atmosphere, he couldn’t imagine himself living anywhere else.
“Mom?” He called out, it was already thirty past four, she should probably be home.
“In the kitchen.” She called back.
“Come, Arthur.” As they were entering the kitchen, they were soon hit by the amazing smell of Hunith’s famous vegan cookies. Merlin almost cried in pure happiness, those cookies were his favourite thing in the world. “Hi mom.” Greeted him receiving a kiss on the cheek. “This is Arthur, I’m helping him with algebra.” He explained as he tried to steal one of the cookies, his mother quickly batted his hand away giving him a warning look.
“They just came out of the oven, you know you have to wait for them to cool down before you eat.” Chastised her. “Hello, Arthur, it’s very nice to meet you.”
“Likewise, ma’am.”
“Oh god, none of that, you can call me Hunith, it gives me the illusion that I’m not that old.” Hunith joked while shooing them to the backyard. “The weather is nice today, there’s no sense in staying in.”
They sat at the monstrous wooden table by the willow’s shadow and got to work. Arthur had a really hard time understanding some of the concepts, but they worked around that, Merlin had always been very patient and dedicated, teaching was actually very natural to him, and he certainly could see that in his future. He noticed that Arthur was really bright, but not very confident in his own intelligence, he would often answer the whole problem correctly, but erase the entire work because he second guessed every little thing.
A little while later, Hunith interrupted them with the cookies and tea, jasmine tea, Merlin’s favourite, the break was indeed very welcome, he noticed that Arthur was already tired and sleepy, so there wasn’t much sense in continuing with all the calculus. Not long after, they were saying their goodbyes and Arthur was going home.
~*~
Some weeks had passed and Arthur had made incredible progress, Merlin was so proud of him, Arthur was very nervous, though, they had had another test last week, which they would be getting back with the results today, and Arthur would have to score a very high grade to compensate for the first one, or else he would fail. For what Merlin gathered, things weren’t great at Arthur’s home, so he really couldn’t afford to fail, they had become quite close on these past weeks, and Arthur would pass every spare second on Merlin’s home, either studying or just chatting with Merlin and Hunith over a batch of fresh baked goods and a nice cup of tea. It made Merlin happy to see that Arthur felt so comfortable with them, at their home.
As the professor started to hand out the tests, Merlin could see how terrified Arthur was, he looked at him with those huge blue eyes and Merlin’s heart melted a little bit, “It’s going to be okay” he mouthed silently, trying to reassure him. When he got his test he barely spare it a glance, all his attention was focused on Arthur, he had just been handed his test, but hadn’t flipped it over yet, staring at the piece of paper like it might explode at any moment, Arthur carefully folded the test and put it on his backpack, without looking at the results. Merlin, admittedly, was a little disappointed, he was hella curious about the results to be honest, but if Arthur wasn’t ready yet, he would have to respect his decision.
The rest of the classes passed by uneventfully, Arthur was abnormally quiet, but Merlin figured that he just didn’t wanted to talk about the test, and that he should just give him space. Arthur continued silent during all the drive to Merlin’s house, it was quiet there, it was Thursday and Hunith always had the evening shift at Thursdays, so she wouldn’t be home until dawn.
“Where’s your mum?” Arthur asked after surveying the kitchen and not founding Hunith there.
“She’s at work, she won’t be home this evening.” Merlin answered while picking up an apple and giving it a huge bite, geez, he was starving. “Do you want to see a movie?” He asked, the words muffled by the unreasonable amount of apple he had in his mouth.
“Sure.”
They ended up choosing King Arthur because Arthur was self-absorbed like that, but they weren’t really paying attention, Arthur would often give lingering glances at his backpack just to focus his attention back on the TV barely seconds later, the whole thing was starting to get on Merlin’s nerves.
“Arthur, for everything that’s sacred, just check the results already, if you look at your backpack one more time, I’ll have to punch you, and we both know that would only end up with me in the hospital with a broken hand.” Said Merlin with a long-suffering sigh, Arthur looked like a kicked puppy and that made him feel bad instantly.
“Fine.” Merlin could see that Arthur’s hands were shaking a little while he held the paper, his brows furrowed in concern, he unfolded the paper with a resigned sigh, only to have a huge smile breaking down on his face. “Holy shit! Merlin, I got a B+!” Arthur said, voice filled with joy and a smile so bright that was almost blinding, Merlin had never seen him smile like that, it warmed his heart. “I know is not an A like yours, but is still good, isn’t it?” he asked, sobering up a little.
“It’s fucking awesome, Arthur, I’m so proud of you!” Merlin said and he meant it. Arthur worked his ass of for that, he deserved.
They were actually watching the movie now, the tension that hung over their heads now completely gone, or at least Merlin was watching, Arthur, apparently, had his attention somewhere else, judging by the way his hands were now on Merlin’s belt, already unbuckling it and going for the button on his jeans, it took Merlin a couple of seconds to shake himself out of the complete shock of the situation and actually act on it.
“Arthur, what the hell are you doing?” It came out harsher than he intended, but honestly, who the hell could blame him, the whole thing was completely unexpected, not to say absurd.
“I just wanted to thank you.” Arthur said in such a small and broken whisper that Merlin wanted to punch himself for being a jerk. His hands were still on Merlin’s pants, but his eyes were glued on the ground.
“It’s not like that, Arthur, I didn’t help you to get anything in return.” Merlin explained in a tired sigh.
“I know you didn’t, I know you’re not like that.” Arthur whispered taking his hands off of Merlin and folding them on his lap, eyes still on the ground. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.” That actually made Merlin’s heart break a little.
“Then you could just say “thank you”, or you could buy me gummy bears if you really wanted to give me something. Just because someone do something to help you, that doesn’t mean you owe them sex, or anything more than a “thank you” really. You understand that?” Arthur didn’t answer, but Merlin could hear a discreet sniff. “Sex is something you should do only when you actually want it, Arthur, not because you think you owe it to someone, not because you think someone expects it from you. Only if you want it, got it?” Arthur nodded, still without meeting his gaze.
“It’s just that you’re so nice to me, Merlin, you’re my friend just because, you don’t care about my car, or my money, or my looks, you don’t seem to want anything from me. Is nice, and I guess I just wanted to make you like me more, to make sure that you would want to keep being my friend.” Arthur explained in such a low tone that Merlin had to lean closer too really catch it.
“Arthur, you dollophead. You don’t have to do anything, I’m your friend because I like you. And I will continue to be for as long as you want me to.” Merlin said grabbing Arthur’s hand, trying to reassure him, Merlin couldn’t honestly understand how someone as wonderful as Arthur would have such low self-esteem.
“You like me?” Arthur’s blue and earnest eyes were locked on his now, boring into his soul.
“Yes, you prat.” The answer came in a strained whisper, as Merlin realized just how true the statement was.
“But you’re not attracted to me?” He asked a little petulantly, almost pouting, and no, Merlin didn’t think that he was endearing at all, no sir.
“For God’s sake, don’t you have mirrors at home? Of fucking course I’m attracted to you, Arthur, who wouldn’t be?” It came out a little more exasperated than he intended, but, seriously? How could Arthur not know how gorgeous he was?
“Then why didn’t you want me?”
“It’s not like that, Arthur, I do want you, but I want you to want too, not to just do something because you think you owe me.”
“Can I kiss you, at least? I really want to.”
“Yes, please.”
Arthur’s lips were soft and plush, and the kiss had a little hint of peppermint gum, Arthur’s favourite, it was sweet and slow, almost innocent, and Merlin could swear he had died and gone to heaven.
~*~
For the past few weeks, a new routine had established itself on their lives, Arthur would pick him up in the morning and take him home on the afternoon, where they would often watch some ridiculous TV show with Hunith while stuffing their faces with the vegan cookies from heaven. They were just finishing the never-ending fight over the iPod, Merlin had more of an indie vibe and Arthur’s collection never had anything decent, when they reached the school parking lot, on Merlin’s insistence, they stayed a little while, to enjoy the miracle of him finding something acceptable to hear on Arthur’s iPod.
The breeze was pleasantly cool now, and Merlin drew a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air. He was distracted and was actually caught by surprise with Arthur’s breath ghosting over his neck, “may these words be the first to find your ears” Arthur sang in a little whisper at his ear, while his hands found their way to Merlin’s waist, “the world is brighter than the sun now that you’re here” Merlin quickly cut him off with a kiss, revelling in the warmth of Arthur’s arms around him, in the magic that always surrounded their kisses, every time was especial, every time the world around him would disappear completely, leaving only Arthur.
They were pulled back to reality by an obnoxiously loud catcall.
“Wow, Emrys, I never thought you would be so into leftovers. But I guess you’re used to it, right, never having anything that isn’t well used already, I mean, look at your uniform.” Mocked someone, that Merlin quickly recognized as the boy from the locker room. “But, really, I think even you could do better than Pendragon, I think, since you don’t have a father, that no one taught you this, but I’ll do you this kindness, boys like Arthur aren’t for you to show around, if you get my meaning, they’re for playing behind the curtains only, never on public.” Said him patronisingly.
Merlin’s blood boiled under his skin and he saw red, how dare him talk about Arthur like that, his fists were clenched and he was ready to rip his fucking head off, if it weren’t for Arthur’s arms firmly around him holding him back, which just made the boy laugh at them while he turned around and left.
“Why didn’t you let me punch him in the face?” Merlin asked furiously, he could still feel the heat under his skin.
“Because it’s not worth it, Merlin, I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.” Arthur answered sadly. “He’s not lying anyway, you could do so much better.”
“I already have the better, you’re everything I could ever want, Arthur.” Merlin assured him, lifting his chin to be able to look into his eyes, that beautiful sky blue eyes. “It doesn’t matter what anyone says, you’re perfect, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I think I’m in love with you.” It was barely a whisper, and Merlin could see the exact moment that he realized exactly what he had said, his eyes turning wide and scared, already regretting baring himself like that.
“That’s a relief, because I think exact the same thing.” Merlin smiled while kissing him, not able to help himself.
“I’m scared, Merlin.”
“I know, but I promise I’m gonna be right there by your side, every step of the way.”
~*~
Arthur’s father had gone in a business trip to Hong Kong, and apparently would be there for quite some time, not that this made that much of a difference, since even when he was home, he was never actually there. But still, Arthur wasn’t that thrilled with the idea of being alone in that giant marble atrocity that was his house. So, he made good use of his puppy eyes and begged Hunith for weeks for permission for Merlin to spend at least a weekend there with him. She said yes, on the condition that Arthur would be forever forbidden to call her Mrs. Emrys.
They were currently in the pool, where Arthur was shamelessly enjoying the sight of his boyfriend swimming, all pale and long limbs, gracefulness and speed. They’ve been together for four months now, and Arthur still couldn’t quite believe in his luck, that this beautiful, kind boy loved him and wanted to be by his side, Arthur still didn’t believe he deserved, but he was selfish enough to accept.
“Are you done ogling me? I’m hungry.” Joked Merlin as he made his way towards Arthur.
“And what the hell do you think I am? Your manservant?” Arthur asked in a fake indignant tone.
“No, but I’m your guest, and you should please me.” Merlin’s tone was light and bared no double meanings, but those two little words made Arthur’s breath hitch.
“I really want to.” Arthur said, his eyes glued to Merlin’s lips. “To please you.” He added as he noticed the confused expression on Merlin’s face. “Please, Merlin?” He asked in a whisper. Merlin nodded, licking his lips. “Come with me.” In no time, they were out of the pool, barely even registering the shivers running through their bodies as the chilly air made contact with their wet skin.
Arthur took them to his room, his hands were shaking as he turned the knob, he realized that he was terrified, it wasn’t like he’d never done this before, but this was different, this was Merlin, and he wanted to be special, he wanted to be worthy of Merlin.
He carefully guided Merlin to his bed, laying him there gently, kissing every inch of skin bared before him. He knew that this would be Merlin’s first time, so he wanted it to be perfect, he wanted to make Merlin feel treasured and adored.
“Are you sure you want this?” Arthur asked when his hands reached Merlin’s swimming trunks.
“Yes, Arthur, I want you.” He answered breathy as Arthur undressed him, mouthing playfully at his hipbones.
Merlin’s cock was glorious, long and thick, uncut and Arthur couldn’t wait to have it inside him. He grabbed it and gave it a long, slow stroke, pulling out the most delicious moan from Merlin’s lips, precome already gathering at the tip, making Arthur’s mouth water. He swiped his tongue over the head of Merlin’s cock, enjoying his taste and the filthy little whimpers that came out of his mouth when he swallowed it whole.
He was painfully hard, the feeling of Merlin’s cock fucking on his mouth was heaven, he reluctantly got up to get the lube and condoms, already getting rid of his own shorts when he got back on the bed.
“Let me… Can I…” Stammered Merlin as Arthur was getting ready to prepare himself.
“You want to do this for me?”
“Yes.”
“Give me your hand.” Merlin offered him his right hand and Arthur quickly applied a good amount of lube on his fingers, positioning Merlin’s middle finger at his entrance, moaning at the feeling of delicious pressure on his hole, Merlin’s finger was all in now, it burned a little, but he wanted more, he wanted so much more. “More, Merlin, please.” Merlin quickly obliged, and soon two fingers became three and Arthur was greedily riding Merlin’s long and elegant fingers, hitting the magic button inside him with every thrust, it was delicious, it was magic, but it wasn’t enough. “Merlin, please, I need you inside me.” Arthur begged.
Merlin entered him painfully slowly, and when he bottomed out Arthur almost cried of pure joy, he felt so deliciously full and complete. He could feel Merlin trembling under him, his breath coming short, he wanted to move so badly, but he also didn’t want to rush Merlin. After the longest of seconds, Merlin started to move, slowly thrusting up and Arthur quickly took charge of the pace, rolling his hips over him, setting a delicious rhythm to their dance.
Unexpectedly, Merlin flipped them over, sliding right back into him, not giving him time to miss the loss of contact, his dark blue eyes locked intensely with Arthur’s, full of hunger and fire. Merlin was fucking him hard and fast, but still so carefully, it was different that everything he had ever seen, he could feel the world shaking around him, the buzzing on his head, fire in his veins, it was like he was going to vibrate right out of his skin, it was so overwhelming that he closed his eyes.
“Don’t. Open your eyes, Arthur. I want to see it. I want to see you.” Merlin commanded and Arthur really could do nothing but obey, looking right into his eyes as his world was shattered in a million of tiny pieces, just to be entirely put together right the next second. “You’re so perfect, Arthur, so beautiful like this.” Merlin chanted like a prayer while his thrusts quickened seeking relief, when it came, Arthur swallowed his screams with a breath-taking kiss, holding him close while he trembled with the aftershock of his orgasm.
“So, did I please you?” Arthur asked a little while later.
“It was perfect, you are perfect.” Merlin answered sincerely burrowing closer to him and nuzzling his neck, and Arthur let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I’m still hungry though.” Arthur couldn’t help but laugh at that, everything was perfect.