Chapter Text
“Zach? Hello?” my sister's voice cut into my thoughts as I sat in my car thinking about all the things that I still had left to do with my day before it ended. Dog walking gig, check. Walk the three dogs currently living in my home, soon to be checked. I shifted my phone to my left ear as I shifted my car to park. “Yeah I am still here.” I started with a sigh.
I could hear her roll her eyes as she asked “Okay, what was the last thing I said then?” I paused for a moment pushing back my agitation. “You said that you called to tell me you loved me because a guy you used to know died.” You see, my sister always does these weird things just in case. It’s one of many things I love about her but annoys me to no end. Her worries are mostly unwarranted due to the fact that I am one of the most cautious and unadventurous human beings on this boring blue sphere called Earth.
She laughed knowingly, “You still didn’t pay attention.” She isn’t wrong but it isn’t from a lack of trying, I have Attention Deficit Disorder, i get lost in my head a lot. “Are you busy or something?” Chelsea asked after a pause.
She knew me better than I cared to admit and that comes with being with me my whole life. We were born only fourteen months apart. Chelsea knows that I only have so much attention to give and when my attention is required somewhere else I can only pay so much attention to her. After years of dealing with me she no longer took offense from it. I just wish she didn’t chide me so much.
“I wouldn’t say busy. Just have a lot to do. Would you mind if we talked some other time?” I asked.
She sighed and confessed. “Yeah sure. I just miss and love you is all.”
I smiled, feeling a slight warmth in my chest at her confession. She was always more upfront with her feelings than I was. “I miss and love you too. We will talk soon, okay?” I said with warmth.
After we said our goodbyes and I walked into the single wide mobile home I shared with my two roommates, both of which were still at work. I looked around the living room, cluttered but homey, dog toys scattered around the room and other knick knacks. Typical millennial attempts at being adults while being broke all the time. A whine escaped from the next room and it caught my attention.
I open the door to the room with a smile. Three tails begin to thump against the metal bars of the kennels. Romeo, Bianca, and Melody were more than ready to get out of their kennels and do their business. One by one I let them out, each gave me an enthusiastic greeting of licks and nuzzles. I walked them to the front door and began to let them out one by one. I only have two hands after all, not to mention it gave me time to decompress from work.
*~Hours pass~*
Rain fell and thunder rumbled through the sky above me as I lay in my bed, the sound of it soothed my mind and stilled my thoughts. Most people around me seemed to see me as the guy who is always smiling, upbeat and kind. The one who was happily bouncing around from one place to the next. I have no idea as to why that is. Maybe it is because I put on a brave face for others so they don’t see how broken I am. Mental illness has such a stigma against it that I am scared to even discuss it or show how it makes me feel.
The battle always seems to begin when I lay down or when I stop long enough to think. Depression is a constant companion that is ever changing with its symptoms. Exhaustion creeps into my limbs, feeling of worthlessness leeches my emotions into a numb state, tears that won’t fall sting my eyes, each breath more difficult to take than the last, cynical thoughts reverberate from my very being. Is any of this worth it? What is the point? In the end it won’t matter. Knowing what was coming I looked over to the square black Xbox sitting next to the T.V. Mass Effect Andromeda laid on top of it, I just picked up a copy and I was ready to play.
Lightning scorched the sky and the room rumbled with its power. I stood with unsteady legs. Turn it on and play, I told myself. It will give me hope and a break from my mind. Fight it Zach come on I told myself encouragingly. Push. The. Button. I screamed in my mind as I felt myself shutting down. My hand landed on the box and it whirred to life and I felt my breath leave me in a whoosh. I could feel some of the weight lift off of me. I sat with a sigh in my gamer chair. The menu hummed on the T.V and I felt my excitement stir within my gut. God I couldn’t wait to see what this next adventure had in store for me.
I signed into my account and the Xbox told me with a pleasant ding, that Mass Effect Andromeda was finished downloading. I immediately clicked the game icon in the menu. EA, Frostbite, and Bioware are the ones who made this game. Come on, I already know this, I thought to myself with an eye roll. I pressed the buttons on the controller impatiently hoping it would skip. Of course it wouldn’t. Sigh.
Another rumble of thunder shook the house as I pressed the New Game button on the main menu. I chose to ignore mother nature and her warning of lightning as I built Zachary Scott Ryder. Auburn hair in a fauxhawk and fair skin to match. Check. A rich red beard to go with the hair. Got it. Warm and vibrant green eyes that would melt any resistance met. Bingo! A face that was well defined and handsome. Yep. Now, to make him have a tattoo that will make him stand out and cool. Nailed it! A bright white tattoo around his neck looked so cool to me. Sweet! I thought to myself
Now, onto his twin. Hmmm I am going to make her like my sister. I thought as I remembered her saying she loved and missed me. Auburn hair to the shoulder matched with warm golden skin. Going to give her blue eyes instead of brown. Red lips for the sex appeal. Nice and Finished.
A tiny icon flashed across the screen and I could’ve cried. CONTROLLER BATT LOW! I forgot to charge it, that would mean that I would have to lean forward uncomfortably while it charged since the cord is short as fuck. My poor back, I thought to myself as I leaned forward with a sigh and grabbed the charging cable. I connected it to the Xbox and the controller vibrated acknowledging the connection. As I adjusted my position in the gaming chair so I could let the controller charge, I itched my temple with the controller handle with a annoyed sigh.
Nothing like a good RPG to get my mind off of things. I thought.
At that moment the hairs on my arms raised and the lights flickered. Due to faulty installment of power line connection cables positive ions escaped into the air around the fault. The negative ions in the cloud were drawn toward the opposite charge. They connected. Superheated air was created by the massive release of energy. Most of the electric discharge found its way toward the ground.
The rest flew along the path from the wall to my Xbox along the charging cable to the controller and into my brain. With the resounding Pop! Everything went black.