Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jungkook doesn’t understand what’s happening to him when he feels a sharp pain in his rear and all the way up through his spine, he’s done this before and it’s never felt anything like this. Quite the opposite it’s always been super pleasant and calming but now he feels a panic bubble in his tummy and bile in his throat and he doesn’t know how much more he can take. There’s a body on top of him, thrusting into him, and a body on top of that thrusting into the person thrusting into him. He loves it, usually. But not now.

There’s a hand in his hair and the sound of kissing echoes in his ears together with the sound of moans and sharp slaps of skin to skin but it’s not the calming melody he usually experiences, in fact, he feels trapped. Almost like he’s suffocating under the weight of the person with his dick inside of him and Jungkook lets out a sob of frustration.

“Yeah, you like that? Like the feeling of being pounded by your hyung, huh?” he can’t really tell who’s speaking to him and that should be a telling sign that something is wrong but he continues to let himself be pounded into the mattress and suffocated by the pillows and it feels really wrong and uncomfortable but he can’t stop until they say so. He’s not in charge right now.

He’s drooling all over the pillows and there are tears running down his face but no one goes to wipe them away because it’s a part of their relationship, tears and pain, and pleasure and complete ecstasy. On the bright side, he can’t really feel the pain in his ass anymore and judging by the sounds coming from the person above him he can only assume that they won’t last for very long and that it’ll all be over soon. But then suddenly the sharp thrusts pick up speed and Jungkook cries out whether it’s in pain or pleasure he can’t tell but it’s all too much and somehow too little and whispers the word, “cypher,” he mumbles breathlessly and the harsh pounding stops and Jungkook sags in relief. But then the length inside of him slides out quickly and he feels empty in more ways than the obvious.

“Jimin!” someone says above him and he frowns because he’s pretty sure his name is Jungkook but maybe he’s wrong, “Jimin talk to us, tell us how you’re feeling baby,” the humming in Jungkook’s ears only seem to grow and he wonders if perhaps he’s hearing everything wrong and they are in fact speaking to him.

“Jungkook,” he perks up at his name and almost sobs in relief when he feels a warm and comforting hand on his back, as can be expected he’s not ready to speak just yet so he expects them to softly coax him and cuddle him, but then the warm hand smacks his ass and someone speaks, “move to the side so we can puts Jimin down,” and naturally, he follows the order because that’s the way this relationship works, right?

They jostle him a bit and the pain in his rear grows steadily to the point where he lets the tears fall freely down his face but contrary to what he thought, there’s no steady hand to wipe them away and brush his hair back from his sweaty forehead, there’s nothing, to be honest. He’s left on the bed cold and exposed, his ass raw and abused and his heart hurting. He doesn’t understand why they aren’t cuddling him, isn’t that what happens when you safe-word? He’s only seen it in use once before when Hoseok was whipping Taehyung and it got a bit too much, as soon as the safeword left Taehyung’s lips Hoseok was there untying him and shushing him and hugging and petting and the contrast between that time and Jungkook’s safeword situation makes him feel so vulnerable.

“Jimin, talk to us,” that sounds like Yoongi speaking and he craves the sweet yet rough voice of the elder to mumble comforting words into his ear but instead he’ll just have to listen in to his conversation with Jimin.

“Hyung,” Jungkook manages to whisper and it takes all his power and might to get out the single word, but he’s just so desperate for affection and warmth that he manages to muster the little energy to beg for someone to just hold him, but instead of the comforting arms moves him more to the side, obviously trying to move him out of the way. Is he not worth their time?

“Not now Jungkook,” Namjoon says and Jungkook wants to cry, it was never like this when Taehyung needed them. Maybe it’s because he wasn’t being whipped, maybe there’s a difference in severity between the two situations. Maybe this isn’t so bad and he’s just being dramatic.

“Hyung, I want to come,” Jimin whines desperately and tries to move his hips and hump Hoseok in front of him but the elder holds his hips down and tries to comfort him with softening touches to his thighs. “Baby, what happened?” Hoseok asks and Jimin whines even more and reaches down to get himself off but a hand stops him, “Jimin-ah, breathe baby, what happened? Why did you safeword?” Seokjin asks and Jimin frowns and turns his head to the side, he doesn’t remember saying the word and he can’t remember anything that he didn’t like. In fact, he was just about to come when they stopped it all and wiped him down with wet cloths and kissed his skin.

“I didn’t,” he mumbles and someone leans their forehead against his, “yes you did, baby,” the person mumbles and Jimin feels annoyed because he truly didn’t safeword, there was nothing wrong with the situation and he was just about to get off, “no, I really didn’t. I really like it all,” he mumbles and feels himself move further away from his headspace.

His senses start to come back to him at the same time as his erection starts staving off, “I really didn’t safeword, hyung,” he speaks, this time more clearly and it takes a few seconds of silence before it clicks.

“Jungkook!” Jimin exclaims and he sees the moment it clicks for the others.

“Jungkook! Baby!” Yoongi hurries over to the young boy still lying on his stomach and breathing shallowly. The others quickly follow suit and Jimin manages to sit up with a little difficulty to assess the situation.

“Jungkook, baby talk to us!” Seokjin hurriedly speaks as they turn the boy over to his back and that’s when they see the tear marks and the saliva dripping down his chin. “Oh gosh,” Seokjin mumbles before grabbing the boy by his face, “Jungkook, baby, I need you to look at me,” he says sternly and it takes a few seconds before the boy’s eyes open slowly.

His eyes are all glossy and not focused so naturally, they’re all scared and worried. “Lift up his legs,” Namjoon orders and Seokjin and Hoseok do as told so that Namjoon can expect the boy’s ass and as soon as it’s bare to hem he gasps, horrified by what he sees.

There’s dried blood around the rim of his hole and it’s clenching pathetically around nothing, he goes for the lube to fully coat one of his fingers before gesturing for the other’s to hold him, “I need to check the extent of his injuries,” he mumbles sadly and Taehyung chokes on a quiet sob, “injuries?” he questions tightly.

Namjoon nods solemnly and carefully spreads the boy’s cheeks for better access, he carefully places one finger on the rim and sticks it inside, that surely wakes Jungkook up from his headspace because he moans in pain and a little pleasure and grabs for the first thing he can reach which happens to be Seokjin’s arm holding his leg in place.

“Hyung, please, I safeworded, that means stop doesn’t it?” he begs and this time Taehyung truly does cry while Jimin reaches over to hug the boy and comfort him, “it’s almost over Jungkook, I promise,” Yoongi mumbles slowly and wipes his sweaty hair from his forehead.

When Namjoon pulls his finger out it’s clear except for the ring of blood at the bottom of his finger and so he deduces that the small tear is only at the rim and not inside the boy, which is positive but he still feels horrible that they let this happen.

“You can let his legs down now,” he states and Seokjin and Hoseok do as told before Seokjin hurries away to get wet cloths and food and water. Yoongi quickly replaces him by Jungkook’s side and lets his hands wander down the the boy’s chest and up in comforting strokes and Jungkook breathes slowly. Jimin nudges Hoseok a bit for him to move so that he can take his place and lowers himself to whisper in Jungkook’s ear in the familiar Busan accent he knows makes Jungkook feel safe, “you’re alright now Kookie, hyung is so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispers quietly and comforting.

“Did I do something wrong?” he mumbles before his face crumbles and he starts to cry in heavy sobs and painful hiccups and in the midst of his panic Yoongi pulls him up into a sitting position and pulls him into his arms to let the boy rest against his naked chest. “You did nothing wrong baby, we did. Just breathe for now,” he says and strokes the younger boy’s back as he heaves and cries.

“Hobi hyung,” he mumbles quietly and Hoseok moves forward faster than lightning, “yes baby?” he carefully speaks as to not let his own tears fall, “when you whipped Taehyung and he said cypher, why did you hug him?” he mumbles tiredly and it’s then that Hoseok realizes how they royally fucked up. Jungkook may never trust them again, “because that’s what we’re supposed to do when someone uses the safeword,” he presses a kiss to Jungkook’s naked back.

“But you didn’t hug me, so I must have done something wrong?” he mumbles and Hoseok flinches in pain before rubbing his hands over his face, not knowing what to say, “just rest, for now, baby, we’ll talk about this later,” he says and he feels an immense guilt for not being able to answer the younger, because they messed up. Oh, how they messed up.

Seokjin returns with food and water and all the necessities needed and carefully moves up the bed, “drink this baby,” he reaches forward and puts the straw from the drink in Jungkook’s mouth and despite Jungkook feeling kind of gone, he knows how to use a straw. He drinks the drink (although he can’t really tell what it is,) and he feels a little more awake and clear-headed than he did before which is positive.

“Baby,” Seokjin whispers and all eyes turn to him as he holds up the cream, “we need to take another look down there,” he mumbles and immediately Jungkook shakes his head, “please don’t, it hurts hyung,” he begs and Seokjin’s heart clenches painfully.

And then Jungkook hastily sits up in Yoongi’s lap throwing them all off guard, “I’m not in subspace anymore, I’m okay, I’m okay,” he repeats the same words over and over again as to convince himself more than them and Seokjin quickly wipes away the single stray tear on his face.

“I’ll be quick,” he mumbles because no matter how much Jungkook begs he knows it has to be done, they grab his legs and hold him still while the boy cries and Seokjin makes fast work of applying the salve to the rim and the surfaces around as carefully as possible.

When he’s done he grabs a t-shirt and they lift his arms up to get him into it and Jungkook’s still crying which makes it all so much more horrible.”Hyung, I’m not in subspace a-anymore, you don’t h-have to,” he stutters through quiet sobs and Jimin hushes him, “Jungkook, what happened?” he questions and Yoongi glares at him, probably thinking it’s too early to ask but Jimin knows exactly how Jungkook is. If they wait until the morning he’ll refuse to speak and probably return to his shell without a single word and Jimin can’t bear the thought of the younger boy hurting alone.

And besides, Yoongi wasn’t the man with his dick inside the boy when his anus tore and bled, so maybe Jimin as well deserves some answers. Why the boy didn’t say anything is beyond him?

“It hurt, hyung. It hurt a lot,” he mumbles sadly and Jimin nods slowly and presses a kiss to Jungkook’s now clothed shoulder, “why didn’t you say anything?” he quietly whispers and Jungkook turns his head to him. “I wanted to get you off,” he says innocently and completely honest that Jimin almost wants to cry at how sweet the boy is, but what he did was wrong. He should know that no one’s pleasure comes above anyone else’s. They talked about this at the start of their relationship.

“Baby,” Seokjin moves forward and kisses Jungkook’s forehead, “you should always tell us when something feels wrong or if you want to change something, we need to be able to tell each other stuff like this for this relationship to work,” Seokjin says truthfully and Jungkook stares up at him with blurry eyes, “but I told you to stop, I used the safeword,” he says and Seokjin together with everyone else flinch, they’re not being accused, they know that’s not what Jungkook means. But it still hurts. It hurts to know that they hurt the younger both physically and mentally.

“I know, and we are so sorry that we didn’t hear. We thought it was Jimin who safe worded, baby,” Namjoon cuts in and Jungkook leans a little heavier against Yoongi, too tired to hold himself up anymore. “So, it wasn’t on purpose?” he asks and as soon as the words leave his mouth they’re all answering no in very serious tones.

“So if you would have known it was me, you would have comforted me like you did with Tae-Tae hyung when he used the word?” he asks a little uncertainly and Yoongi hugs him tighter, “of course, baby. I promise you,” he mumbles and Jungkook nods, a little more at ease now that he’s gotten the answers he wanted.

He’s happy they didn’t mean to ignore him because, to be honest, he was worried for a while. Worried that they intentionally left him because he ruined the scene for them.

“So we’re good?” he asks quietly and they nod, “but we’re gonna have to talk about this tomorrow, baby, we can’t just let it go that we hurt you,” Hoseok tells him and Jungkook understand that, he really does, but he’s not mad at them. “I know but it’s really not necessary, I’m okay,” with the hand that isn’t in Yoongi’s he reaches out to touch whoever sits closest to him, “it’s fine. I’m not angry,” he continues and Namjoon sighs heavily and leans against Seokjin, “just rest for now baby, we’ll talk tomorrow,” he says and Jungkook nods slowly.

“I still trust you all,” he adds just to be sure that they aren’t doubting themselves too much and he feels rather than hears Yoongi’s shocked gasp, “thank you, baby. But trust needs to be mutual, and we need to know that you’ll tell us right away next time something like this happens.”

Jungkook nods slowly and knows that there won’t be a single moment alone tomorrow, not that he minds. He’ll need them. More than ever.

Chapter Text

When Jungkook wakes up the first thing he notices is that he’s not in his own bed and that he’s not alone, there are a pair of arms around his waist and someone hugging him by his legs and it doesn’t take long for him to realize that it’s Jimin and Taehyung that are cuddling him. The curtains are drawn and the room is dark so he has no way of telling if it’ in the middle of the night or morning which makes him anxious, don’t they have practice? What if they’ve already missed it? And what if it’s because of him?

Suddenly it’s like the air in the room gets sucked out and Jungkook starts gasping for it through his nose through his mouth, nothing works and while he’s struggling his chest begins to tighten and his head feels like it’s about to explode from the lack of oxygen and all the bad thoughts in his mind.

He tries to move away from the arms hugging him tightly but their grip isn’t budging and it makes his panic grow so in the midst of it all he lets out a whine which manages to wake Jimin up and he’s immediately alerted when he sees Jungkook.

“Kookie? Baby what’s wrong?” he questions quickly with his brows furrowed and concern etched into his features but Jungkook can’t speak, in fact, he can’t do anything but continue to gasp and hope for the air to return soon before he suffocates.

“Baby?” Jimin questions once again and grabs a hold of Jungkook’s face which proves to be a horrible idea as the younger boy immediately starts shaking violently and waking Taehyung up in the process.

“W-what’s goin’ on?” Taehyung mumbles voice still heavy with sleep and his eyes closed but Jimin kicks him quite hard to wake him up and gestures to Jungkook, “Kookie, you need to breathe,” he says sternly but the younger doesn’t seem to be listening, doesn’t seem to be able to listen.

Taehyung immediately sits up and scoots up the bed until he’s face to face with Jungkook, he grabs Jungkook’s hands and puts one over his own heart and one over the boy’s own, “Kookie I need you to listen to me, just follow my lead, breathe like me,” he speaks clearly and slowly so that the younger can follow and while Jungkook’s still gasping he nods his head and awaits Taehyung’s next words.

“Take a deep breath in, follow me, just like me,” he mumbles softly and takes a deep breath that he knows Jungkook won’t be able to follow immediately but it’ll at least calm him down knowing that not everyone around him is panicking as well.

“In and out, slowly,” Taehyung continues to mumble and it doesn’t happen in 5 seconds, but in a few minutes time Jungkook starts breathing easier and less shallow, he has his eyes closed and his hand gripping Taehyung’s shirt right over his heart like he’s afraid he’ll disappear at any moment. Jimin sits beside them quietly, a little shaken up perhaps but mostly he’s just happy Jungkook’s doing better. He’s rubbing Jungkook’s arms up and down and shushing him whenever he whimpers or whines and after a few good twenty minutes Jungkook’s breathing is back to normal. Taehyung carefully lowers him down to the bed once again and Jimin quickly follows to lie next to the younger.

Taehyung stands from the bed and pulls the curtains away from the window and as soon as the light filters through Jungkook’s breath hitches once again, “Jungkookie? What’s wrong?” he hastily asks and Jungkook opens his eyes quicker than ever and grabs for Jimin, “have we missed dance practice? Did you cancel it or are we late? Oh, hyung, we can’t be late that’s-”

“Shh, shh,” Jimin hugs the boy to his naked chest and shushes him to calm him down, “it’s cancelled yes but there's nothing to feel guilty about, baby,” he mumbles and feels the wet tears hit his chest, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I ruined last night,” he cries and Taehyung crawls back into bed and snuggles up so that his chest is to Jungkook’s back, “there’s nothing to be sorry for baby, if anything, we’re the ones who should be sorry for ignoring you,” Jimin flinches at the mention of it and remembers the talk after Jungkook had fallen asleep the night before,

“It’s not your fault Jiminie,” Yoongi had told him, “we’re the doms so we should have been in control of the situation,” he continues but Jimin is barely listening, he can only focus on the little amount of blood around Namjoon’s finger and the sounds of Jungkook’s cries.

“You ignored him because of me, tell me, how is that not my fault?” Jimin cries and Seokjin hugs him in his warm arms while Taehyung rubs his thighs, except it’s not sexual in any way, just a bit of comfort.

“Listen to be very carefully now Jiminie,” Yoongi says sternly and despite it not being a scene, Jimin naturally falls into his submissive headspace when Yoongi speaks, “you did nothing wrong, you were in subspace and so was Kookie, we’re the ones who lost control, this is not your fault.”

“Hyung,” he hears a timid voice whisper and Jimin immediately lets go of his train of thought to focus on the meek voice of their maknae, “are you okay?” Jungkook mumbles and Jimin almost laughs out loud at how absurd it is for the younger to be worried about him.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine. The question is, how are you?” Jungkook squirms in his hold but Taehyung’s as well as Jimin’s arms only tighten around him, but not enough to trap him. He’s free to leave whenever he wants to.

Jungkook seems to hesitate with his answer but neither Taehyung nor Jimin make any move to pressure him into talking, he’s allowed to take it all in at his own pace.

“To be honest, I don’t really know, I mean, physically I’m fine except for a little pain but mentally…” he trails off and Jimin bites his lip in worry, “I don’t know, hyung, I really don’t know,” he mumbles and Taehyung presses a kiss to his spine, “that’s fine, baby, you don’t have to talk yet, just rest for now.”

And that’s exactly what he does, he practically sleeps or the rest of the day with a few awakenings when Jimin’s switched spots with Seokjin and Namjoon’s taken Taehyung’s place but other than the constant change in partners in bed, his day passes by relatively quickly.

But it’s at dinner where the real anxiety pops up, not that his panic attack earlier was any less real, but this time he’s genuinely afraid, and not just afraid of what happened the night before, but afraid of what will happen in the future. The irrational thoughts start building up and Jungkook knows they’re irrational, he’s aware of how idiotic they are but that still doesn’t stop him from thinking about them over and over again and over-analyzing stuff.

It’s when Seokjin serves a good portion of food that Jungkook feels that something is truly wrong with him. It starts as an itch before it grows into a wound somewhere in his mind that he doesn’t seem to be able to take care of, memories of the time Taehyung was whipped and cared for pop up, quickly followed by his own safe-word experience and the lack of concern for him and it’s so stupid to stop and ponder over because he knows they didn’t do it on purpose. Right? He knows it wasn’t meant to be like that, right?

Or was it because he’s been slacking off at practice lately? And because he’s been hanging out with Yugyeom more than with them? Or was it perhaps because he’s been gaining a little extra pudge after the comeback’s end? Has he been too needy lately? Too dependant? Maybe they’re tired of him, maybe that’s why he was punished. Maybe that’s why-

“Jungkook?” Namjoon interrupts his train of toxic thoughts and he realizes that he’s staring off at the wall like a zombie and so when he turns his gaze toward his leader he sees annoyance- No! It’s concern.

“Yeah,” his voice is hoarse from the lack of use and he clears his throat harshly, “are you okay?” Namjoon while reaching out to grab Jungkook’s hand and a part of him wants to sit in the leader’s lap and be cuddled and the other wants to get as far away as possible, so he settles in the middle, kind of. He lets Namjoon’s hand grab his own but he doesn’t squeeze it back, his own hangs like a limp fish in the other’s grip and he sees Namjoon frown heavily.

“I’m fine,” he mumbles and pulls his hand away to pick up his chopsticks, not that he’s planning on eating much, but he can’t bear the thought of touching anyone right now.

He manages to eat half his portion before nausea wins and he has to put the chopsticks down and push his plate away, the food sits heavily in his stomach and with every breath he takes it moves with him, further irking his nausea to the point where he can feel himself turn a little green. He can’t possibly understand why he’s feeling the way he is as the food is nothing new to him, he’s eaten it since childhood and there’s nothing special about it, so why does it feel like he’s been poisoned?

The conversations at the table continue if not a little less loud as theyäve all taken notice of Jungkook’s appearance and reluctance to eat anything more, it worries them but they know their youngest will not appreciate their digging into his personal affairs. But they also know that he won’t tell them anything without them digging, he’s private and reserved. Not that they mind, it’s sort of nice sometimes when he doesn’t announce what his bathroom trip meant, unlike Taehyung, but when it comes to important matters of the heart, mind, and body it’s infuriating to see their youngest keep it from them even though they can clearly see he’s not well.

Suddenly his left hand is flying up to his mouth and he’s covering it harshly like it’ll help the food from coming up, “Jungkook?” Seokjin quietly but worriedly asks as he sees the harsh grip Jungkook has on his own jaw.

Jungkook finds himself unable to answer because the mental pictures of his body in his finest lingerie with fat welling over the edges of the underwear are so shocking and overwhelming, he doesn’t know where they’re coming from, and then suddenly Yoongi’s in front of him with a look of disgust and Taehyung stands behind him in an exact replica of his underwear, but it fits him perfectly and Jungkook feels sick. Does he look like that? Is he that fat? That unattractive?

Before anyone has the time to react he’s rushing out of the room and to the toilet nearby to expel the contents of his stomach that makes him feel so heavy, he coughs harshly and spits into the bowl with an unknown hand rubbing at his back. But he can feel the food still settled inside him and he sticks his fingers down his throat to make the last of it come up, he sobs through it and then it’s coming up, together with acid and water and it hurts terribly, “Jungkook! Jungkook stop!” Jimin calls and tries to remove the fingers from the youngest’s throat, “hyung! Come quickly!” and after that, it’s just a blur of movements and sounds around him but at some point, he’s removed from the cold toilet bowl and settled in something soft and there’s warmth all around him.

There are hands all over him trying to calm him down and he suddenly feels incredibly tired and so he leans back on whoever’s behind him and closes his eyes, “Jungkook?” Namjoon mumbles into his ear and it’s a pleasant sound at the same time as it makes him shiver.

“Hyung,” he manages to mumble before sleep finally takes over and his body is given some rest.

_

“He’s never dropped that badly before,” Namjoon wipes a hand across his forehead and takes silent comfort in the hand Seokjin settles on his shoulder, they’re all seated in the living room trying desperately not to break under the pressure of their youngest one being so gravely hurt.

Seokjin’s hand on Namjoon’s shoulder tightens as Jimin seems to choke on a sob and Yoongi settles beside the younger man worryingly, “baby?” Yoongi may be a man of few words but the right ones make the others spill like a bottle of red wine on a white carpet.

“He,” Jimin hesitates and leans into Yoongi’s cold but comforting touch, “he had his fingers down his throat,” it’s not an easy sentence to get out and as soon as it is the tears spill down Jimin’s cheeks, fat tears that clog his nose and leaves his face red and puffy, not that any of them care for beauty in that moment.

“Oh my god,” Taehyung falls dramatically to the youngest’s side and presses a kiss to his forehead sweetly before grabbing his hand and holding it in his own, “why would he do that?” he cries and his grip on Jungkook’s hand tightens to the point that if Jungkook would be awake he’d probably pull away.

“Last night did a number on him,” Hoseok quietly states and leans his head against Yoongi’s shoulder, just as Seokjin goes to open his mouth Jungkook jerks awake no less graceful than a man drunk, he sits up quickly and looks around himself in distress, “hey, shh you’re alright,” Taehyung quickly comforts and Jungkook turns to him, his eyes seem to lose a bit of the distress and confusion as he sees Taehyung but he’s still shaking slightly and Taehyung squeezes his way onto the couch and settles Jungkook so that he’s half lying in his lap.

“Baby, do you remember what happened?” Seokjin asks calmly without sparing any time and Jungkook’s eyes slowly sweep the room until they land on Seokjin, Jungkook licks his lips and takes a deep breath, “I threw up?” he mumbles and despite the tension Seokjin cracks a smile, “you did,” he says but then the smile drops and Jungkook tenses.

“What?” he mumbles and Seokjin frowns, “you,” he hesitates to tell the younger as he’s clearly still shaken and in a weak state of mind, “you made yourself throw up,” Yoongi continues and Seokjin shoots him a glare which he ignores.

Jungkook’s mouth falls open and he rubs a hand over his empty stomach like it’ll make him remember, and then suddenly the images pop up once again and he remembers why he stuck his fingers down his throat, “I felt disgusting,” he mumbles in shame and goes to cover his face with his hands but Taehyung’s quicker than his sluggish movements and grabs him before he can hide, “why,” Taehyung says, his voice seems to drop a few octaves and the dark rumble actually lets shivers run down his neck and vibrate in his own chest, Jungkook shakes. “Because of yesterday,” he whispers with so much pain hidden that Taehyung almost feels like he’s going under, Jimin as well judging by the hitching of his breath.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook suddenly says and it makes Taehyung feel sick to hear him apologize for something that absolutely wasn’t his fault.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon begins and goes to kneel by the couch, “I need you to understand that we love you and that we would never hurt you, not intentionally,” he speaks and Jungkook nods because he knows, deep down he honestly does.

“What happened yesterday was not in any way your fault and we are so sorry for it,” Namjoon continues, “but we need to know that you’ll be able to tell us in the future when it gets too much,” Jungkook begins to nod but Yoongi stops him, “we need a verbal answer, Jungkook, last night got too much for you but it affected the rest of us as well and you don’t want to hurt the others, do you?”

Seokjin almost wants to hit Yoongi for wording it so badly because in seconds there are tears welling up in Jungkook’s eyes, “no, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone else, I’m sorry,” he mumbles and hangs his head in shame and Yoongi quickly lets Hoseok take over Jimin so that he can move over to their maknae.

He grabs Jungkook’s face and rubs his thumbs over the boy’s bitten lips, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to blame you, I’m just scared,” he mumbles and Jungkook looks up in shock at his hyung’s honesty, “you’re scared? Of me?”

“No! No baby, not of you, for you,” he says and presses a quick kiss to the boy’s lips in silent comfort, “I was so worried, and so were all the others, we never meant to hurt you,” silent tears slip down Jungkook’s cheeks and Yoongi quickly wipes them away.

“Please talk to us,” Seokjin adds and Jungkook’s eyes fly over to him, “about...dinner?” he questions and Seokjin nods quietly, in response Jungkook heaves a breath and closes his eyes, “I- I was dropping, and I saw all these...images, of my body, it was horrid. I looked fat and unfit and disgusting, and Yoongi-”

Yoongi’s fingers still on his cheeks, “Yoongi hyung looked disgusted, and then I saw Tae-Tae hyung and he looked so pretty and I felt sick with myself, I started thinking that perhaps that’s why...last night happened, you didn’t...want me,” he chokes out the last words and Taehyung’s grip around his body loosens which Hoseok quickly takes notice of, “Tae, baby,” he quickly mumbles and passes the still crying Jimin to Seokjin as he hurries over to Tae who has gone stiff behind the maknae, “come on baby, eyes up,” Hoseok mumbles and Taehyung slowly lifts them to look at Hoseok, “not your fault darling, Jungkook dropped, it doesn’t mean what you’re thinking” he presses a kiss to Taehyung’s forehead and Jungkook tries to turn around to see him but Yoongi keeps him in place, “soon baby, let’s rest, for now, alright?” he mumbles and despite Jungkook’s worry for his crying hyung in Seokjin’s arms and the stiff one behind him he nods and lets Yoongi maneuver him into a lying position on the couch and then there’s blanket covering him. “We’ll be here when you wake, darling,” Namjoon leans over and kisses him softly on the lips which Jungkook quickly returns.

He doesn’t feel when Hoseok lifts Taehyung off the couch or hear when Jimin heaves heavily, he doesn’t feel the tears on his hand either nor does he hear the silent cries of his hyungs next to him, but it’s for the best that way. Seeing them in that state would only cause him more pain.

But later in the day when Jimin’s finally stopped crying and Taehyung's come back from wherever he was inside his head, it’s not all that bad. They’re still hurt and Jungkook’s still hurt, but they won’t be hurt forever, and that’s enough to calm them all down enough to bring mattresses into the living room, and enough to make them sleep as peacefully as they can. They’ll talk more in the morning if necessary, but for now, they all need to rest.