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To dwarves there was no such thing as 'Gender'. This was something they left to the the Men and Elves (and Hobbits it turns out). All Dwarves were the same, all of them were 'Male', all were warriors, and there was nothing to stop any of them from taking up arms and fighting for their people. But all species need a breeder, an oppisite to the 'Males' to carry and care for the children, for in order to survive even the dwarves needed children, and despite the old tales, carving children from rock just didn't work.

But a 'Female' or Dwarrowdam as they were known, where a rare sight to be seen, because before a Dwarrow could become a Dam they had to feel secure and at peace, because bearing a child was no easy feat and was fraught with it's own dangers. And once a Dam, always a Dam, as the old saying went.

And that time only came after marriage. Why this was is simple, for they wanted to be sure both they and their children would be safe and in the ancient times the roles of two dwarves in marriage was simple, one was the Carer, the Dam who would produce and provide and care for the young, the other the Protector, Who would stand watchover, provide and teach them.

Over the many thousands of years it had been since the Creation, these set rolls had begun to overlap, until it was no longer so clear cut, for a Dam could as easily Protect their young, as a Dwarrow could care for them. But one thing was always required, a Dwarrow needed to feel safe and protected and loved before they could become a Dwarrowdam.

Which was why, in this time of turmoil the Dwarven race began to dwindle, because so few of the Dwarrow who were inclined to turn (for not all were and some were more suited to the role than others), because the world was unsafe, and an oppressive air lay across them all, making them helpless. And this was no world to bring children into.

Chapter Text

Bifur couldn't understand why people found the fact that his cousin was a Dam was so surprising. It was perfectly obvious to him, everything Bofur had ever done his whole life had been leading up to it, all Bofur had needed was that final push, a full commitment to make it real.

Then again, perhaps it wasn't so much that Bofur was a Dam, but his choice of partner that was so surprising. Bifur had been surprised himself in the begining, but he had given up long ago trying to make any sense of his cousin's ways, and let her be.

~*~
The courting rituals of the lower class were so different from those of the nobles. That was how Balin rationalised his own surprise. In noble circles a Dwarrow who was Dam Inclined would make his intentions to wed clear in a quiet announcement, and whomever presented themselves to him as a suitor would have to prove their capabilities as a warrior, and a father and whomever the Inclined found most suitable was accepted for Courtship.

But looking back on what he now realised had been a kind of courtship, Bofur had been brash and loud, had been anything but subtle in advertising his intentions, and it had been as close to how he treated his own family, with jests and laughter, with a hard spoon to the back of the hand and a hearty hug. Looking back it was clear enough, but at the time it had just been Bofur, being Bofur.

~*~
Bofur was not the sort of Dwarrow Gloin would have taken to be Dam inclined (as it was quaintly known). He was nothing like how beautiful wife. It had always been clear that Amlin had been Dam inclined, she had made it no secret growing up together as they had. She had told Gloin that when they were Gloin she would be his. She, and any other Dam he had ever met, was always so demure, not soft, because that was one thing a dwarf never was. But polished, like shining gold or gems.

Bofur, for all her merriment and charm, was rough and dirty like coals. But then Gloin had spent little time associating outside the Noble circles, so his knowledge of those of the lower classes was not the best, but still, he did not think it would ever not surprise him that Bofur had turned Dam.

~*~
Ori always thought himself observant, but even he had been surprised by Bofur's turning Dam. In his experience Dam's were like Dori (Ori was pretty sure Dori would turn if he ever found the right one). They mothered and fussed, took care of the cooking and the cleaning and nagged. Or they were the other sort, the nobles, who all wore beautiful dresses, wore jewels in their hair and moved with grace and spoke in kind voices.

Bofur fit neither category well. Though Ori supposed, looking back, all the little things he had observed and filed away as 'Nothing Important' all added up to this. The only thing that wasn't surprising was the choice of mate really. Bilbo had always been the one Bofur got on best with outside his own family, so it made a sort of sense. Though Ori had to agree with Dori, how Bilbo made Bofur feel Protected enough to want to make the change now he didn't know (not that Ori didn't think Bilbo was brave, but being brave was different than being a Protector).