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Chapter Text

Alice Burton frowned into her coffee, her eyes glued to her computer monitor. Outside her window, the winds howled as it snowed even harder; the redhead was glad she wasn't out in it- for now, as she surely knew that it would just make her commute home take even longer. December was starting out to be a cruel month. And it was only the second day! Taking another gulp of her coffee- the slight chill in the room already starting to make the cup of joe go cold- she set it down as her newly freed hand went to the mouse to open up another email in her inbox. The tagline of "URGENT" making her suspicious, as her pessimistic nature told her that was never a good sign.

Her suspicions, pessimistic or not, proved true this time, however. Her eyes grew wide in disbelief the more she read; the zoo would only be receiving about half of the grant money they were previously. The rest of their money was now being allocated to some abandoned puppy shelter, or something. Which, Alice realized, wouldn't have been too serious, had it not been December, as the zoo itself raked in enough money during the warmer months. Central Park Zoo was often all but empty when it became frigid outside; who the heck wanted to come gawk at a bunch of dumb animals when they could be at home, toasty warm, and watch the dumb animals on television?

Alice sure didn't.

The redhead squawked in alarm as the phone beside her suddenly rang, and she snatched it up. "What is it?" she growled into the receiver.

"Yeah I know! I just read the email now. ... ... Well yeah, but... look, I don't see what the big deal is; we'll just get rid of a few of the animals, ship them off somewhere that's getting more money than we are, problem solved! ... ... Uh-huh... ... Well yeah, I GET that the whole point of a zoo are the animals, but... okay, okay! I'll figure out something else, sheesh. Bye."

So that left cutbacks on food rations. The animals weren't going to be happy, but they'd survive. At least the fish supply had stopped mysteriously vanishing.

Speaking of food... it was about that time. Alice grabbed her coat off of the back of her chair and shivered; she really didn't want to go out there. Why couldn't the animals just learn to feed themselves? She left the office in a huff, as she bundled her coat closer to her person. Taking a deep breath, she cringed as she prepared herself for the cold that would hit her the moment she opened the building's door.

Oh, Alice could NOT wait for it to be closing time already.

Rico could not wait for it to be closing time already.

The hefty penguin danced in place, as he watched the zoo's clocktower from the corner of his eye. The bell had just went off, signalling that it was already four o'clock. With it being winter time, that gave them about half an hour before the zoo would send the people away, and their day of leisure could begin. While the cold was not a problem for him, compared to most of the other animal inhabitants; he, too, wanted to go inside and get away from the outside world.

Though, admittedly, for completely different reasons.

Rico's attention was drawn from the time, when he heard a loud cough next to him. Turning his head, the weapon's expert smiled when he realized just who was trying to get his attention. Half-heartedly busy doing a 'cute-n-cuddly' dance number, Kowalski leaned a little closer to him as he tried to subtly whisper from the corner of his beak.

"Come ON, Rico, stay focused. You don't want you-know-who catching you daydreaming again."

The weapon's expert threw a glance over at Skipper, who was on the ice with Private as they did their adorable 'pretend to slip on the ice' routines. He shrugged, before looking at the analyst again with an even bigger smile. Dancing? Who could he THINK about dancing, when they were just thirty minutes away from the best part of the day REALLY starting?

It was hard to focus on anything else, when Rico was just too giddy and excited to get to spend the rest of the evening with his new mate!

Rico and Kowalski had been an item for a little over a week. Though so short a time, the crazed penguin had already become accustomed to the two of them slipping off to do their own thing in the evening. Sure, it wasn't anything necessarily BIG- most of the time it would just be the two of them in Kowalski's lab, as the scientist worked on something or another as the weapons expert sat and watched. Sometimes even helping himself! And, if not that, it would be the team hanging out and watching some film or tv-show, as the two taller penguins sat next to each other and occasionally snuggle. But, as small as it may have seemed to others, those were the moments Rico found himself craving over all others!

The hefty penguin was drawn from his world once more, as a soft flipper was placed on his shoulder. Rico looked down and it felt like his very grin would split his beak in half, as he realized his lover was touching him- most likely to get his attention. The weapon's expert looked up to see Kowalski's mild glare.

"Rico…"

Rico stopped bouncing in place, but didn't stop grinning, even when met by that stern look. Kowalski took these things far too seriously sometimes; there weren't even enough people around to be entertaining at this point in the day.

"Focus, Rico. Can you do that? For..." the scientist glanced up at the clock. "approximately twenty-four more minutes, that's all I- we- ask of you. Fo-cus."

"Kees?"

"No, CUS; FOCUS! Rico it isn't that difficult a concept!"

Rico was listening, but he didn't really care much. What could he say; teasing Kowalski would never stop being one of his favorite activities. And teased he did, as flippers reached out and pulled the taller penguin to his chest, lightly nuzzling his beak back and forth through the feathers on Kowalski's neck. The analyst yelped in shock.

"Rico, not in public, not in public!" he hissed, trying yet failing to shove his mate away for the time being. "What ever happened to that, mushy love sensitivity thing you had? Huh? Where is that NOW?"

Just then, Rico's stomach grumbled, and he let out a sickly belch, the smell of which was foul enough to make Kowalski's own stomach churn. The weapons expert grimaced only for a second at the taste it had left in his beak, before grinning again and replied, "Worth it."

The two had caught some unwanted attention with that little display; Skipper peered over the stone island with a well-aimed glare. "Cut the sappy lovey-dovey routine in public, would ya, you two?"

Kowalski continued to shove his way out of Rico's grasp, his flippers planted firmly on the hefty bird's chest, and looked back at Skipper, apologetically. "Sorry, Skipper, this will only take a moment longer- RICO WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!"

The sudden clanging of a metal bucket on the stone walkway outside of the penguin habitat was enough to startle all four of them, and Kowalski was freed at last... unfortunately, his current point of leverage caused him to topple over backward without Rico's flippers there to support him.

But all Rico could see were the fish scattered all over the ground just outside. Alice stood there, as well, gawking. Her focus was on the penguins, though notably the taller two, before she reached into her coat pocket, her hands fumbling even to do that. Finally, as vapor exited her mouth in a pant, she pressed the button on the communications device.

"Ah, geeze. Hey, Maurice. I think we just might got some more trouble on our hands. You remember which of the penguins was female?"

She waited a moment for the other zookeeper to respond. It didn't take long before she heard a beep, and then the Brooklyn tone coming from the receiver.

"What do I look like, some ornitico...er, ornatical….Look, do I LOOK like a birdologist or somethin'? How d'heck am I supposed to know? Why, what's goin' on?"

"Ugh, what use ARE you to me, Maurice?!" The redhead's anger became mild concern as she turned her focus back to the penguins. " I was askin' 'cause I got two penguins here bein' a lil' too friendly, if ya know what I mean. We already got budget problems, we don't need no other greedy mouths to feed! Whattya think we should do 'bout it?"

"Don't dey got some shackin' up period, or somethin'?"

"Yeah," Alice paused, as she tried to recall all that she knew about the flightless birds. "Around springtime, I think."

"Then I don't see why ya fussin' 'bout it. No problem, then. Animals ain't as needy as us, they go by that geographic nature book."

Alice clicked the walky talky again, as she growled. She began to talk, as she bent over to pick up the spilt fish.

"Oh, so you're just sayin' we wait 'til it actually IS a problem. Way to go, genius. Give ya the big ol' gold star. " She threw the penguins their food, before turning to walk away. "Ya know what, I'm just gonna call management. I was already suggesting we get rid of an animal or two. Maybe they'll actually listen if I tell 'em we actually got us a problem on our hands."

The curvy woman picked up her bucket, before beginning to head back to her office. Though there were still a bit of a crowd around the pen, the penguin remained still as they exchanged looks. Worry was on their faces...before Kowalski began to chuckle nervously.

"Ha...it seems the humans are still misinformed on our actual biological genders...Isn't that...something?"

Rico offered a forced chuckle, while eyeing the few people still watching, uneasily. "Heh ... heh."

Skipper and Private were suddenly coming up beside Kowalski, and Skipper slapped the tallest penguin on the back, reassuringly. "Buck up, soldier! No need to get your panties in a twist!"

"We don't even wear pants." Private pointed out, helpfully.

"No, no we don't. And besides; you're forgetting rule number three-seventy-two of the Central Park Zoo!" said Skipper.

Kowalski thought for a moment. "Three-seventy-two is... that... no one listens to Alice." Finished the analyst, brightening some; whether it was from knowing that random bit of trivial trivia, or from the rule itself, was unknown.

"Right you are!" congratulated his commanding officer, placing a friendly flipper on his back and beginning to walk with him towards the hatch, as the last two people lost interest and wandered off to other things. Private hopped down the hatch soon after, and Rico downed another fish before joining the other three.

Skipper was right, nobody EVER listened to Alice. There was nothing to fear in the slightest.

Ooor they were all perfectly and horrendously wrong.

The thought was completely put behind them, by the time the next day rolled around. Morning routine went well, as the penguins did their laps effortless- though, instead of swimming it ended up being a skate race around the concrete island. Then, as they wrapped that up, people started to pour in- mostly the school crowd, seeing as tickets were cheaper during the winter holidays. Kids came and went, excited by the flightless birds' antics, before scurrying off to another part of the zoo.

However, it was a little past noon when the team stopped their cute-n-cuddly charade, as they overheard the redheaded zookeeper as she walked past their exhibit.

"No, I'm tellin' ya, Maurice, they're ACTUALLY listening to me! They said that that certainly can be a concern, and told me t'watch out for them and let them know. But as far as I'M concerned- 'cause you know how these animals are- we're gonna be down one less penguin."

Skipper and Rico glared, Private wore his best concerned expression, and Kowalski whimpered, despite himself. If Alice knew anything at all about the courtship rituals and gender rolls of penguins, it very well could have seemed as if he was the female, which probably meant... it meant Kowalski's brain was racing a million miles a minute now, and he'd be pacing for awhile.

Meanwhile, Rico took three steps toward the passing zookeeper, spitting up a bundle of dynamite and a mace on the way, grumbling threats that consisted of few actual words. His fourth step was halted when a stern flipper fell on his shoulder, and he looked back to see Skipper.

"Now, now, Rico, I enjoy a good bloody beat-down just as much as the next guy... maybe a whole lot more, depending on who the next guy is." The commanding penguin took the mace away from the psychopath. "But this isn't the answer! Not this time."

Beside them, Private let out a sigh of relief.

"It's too messy! Too obvious. Too easy to trace it back to us." Skipper tossed the mace away, and somewhere a man screamed, but no one seemed to take notice. "Ya have anything a little more subtle? Poison blow darts? Toxic gasses? ... Chloroform?"

The living storage unit was in the middle of coughing something else up, when Private interjected. "Wait! What if we... found a way to make money? For the zoo? To pay for... Kowalski's baby, should it arrive." he suggested, failing to suppress a snicker at the last part.

The analyst glared.

"Oh, come ON now! We all know the scientific properties behind that statement of yours is nothing but a load of poppycock! Males can't produce offspring!" Kowalski paused. "Er, well...male penguins can't, anyway. I won't even BEGIN to cover the seahorse's breeding habits, nor the clownfish's ability to change gender...Not to mention the human's notions of gender ident-LOOK! I'M NOT HAVING ANY EGGS! END of STORY!"

The leader, however, didn't hear any of the scientist's rant, as he was already busy pondering over the youth's suggestion.

"You know, Private, you just might be onto something…"

"Oh, come on," the tallest penguin groaned, "et tu, Skipper? For the LAST time, I can't have babies!"

"What? What are you spouting on about? I was referring to Private's idea of finding the zoo some extra dough. We're a smart group of guys, real resourceful; if we get the zoo the cash flow it needs...We won't even have to worry about nobody shipping ANYbody off! I LIKE this plan!"

Skipper threw a glance at Kowalski before smirking.

"Besides, we all know Kowalski hardly has the figure to pull off maternity clothes anyway. Now come on, men, we're gonna ditch this party and do some thinking. We need options! I don't know how much time we need, but I don't want to have to wait and find out!"

Meanwhile, over in...

HOBOKEN.

Lightning flashed across the darkened sky, despite it being December, followed by a clash of thunder. Inside the reptile exhibit, a lemur and a large boa cringed at the sound.

"Did you just hear that, just now? Was that lightning? This time of year?" Questioned Clemson. The snake behind the glass rolled its eyes.

"It always does that when you laugh. It is, a little creepy, even for you." replied Savio.

"I know, see! That's weird, am I right? Am I wrong about this, because I don't think I'm wrong. I mean, having it thunder and lightning every time I laugh, that's like, big time villain stuff. It's like, hello, EVIL guy, right over here!"

The large snake turned away from the glass separating the two, and coiled back up on his heating rock, closing his eyes. "Yes, that is what you are always saying. But I never really see you, being evil, at all."

The lemur was now going on and on about once trying to overthrow an entire kingdom, or something of the sort, but Savio was only half listening. The guy had come to see him every day since it had grown cold, which was not something the enormous reptile was expecting, nor was he used to. No one wanted to spend time with a relentless carnivore. But still Clemson had visited, every day after closing hours, sitting, pacing, sometimes even prancing just outside of his glass house, chatting away like they'd been best pals forever. Threats hadn't even been able to keep the guy away.

Not that Savio minded so much anymore. Even if Clemson was obviously deranged on a few different levels, the reptile had to give him one thing; the guy was smart. And in the end, Savio really was grateful to have someone to talk to during the cold winter months.

It wasn't the lemur's nonstop talking that jolted the snake from near-sleep, but the sudden lack of it. Clemson had grown silent, which was very unlike him. Savio opened one eye and looked to see the small mammal looking back at him with those wide, green eyes. Very pretty eyes, he had noted on more than one occasion.

"What is it now?"

Clemson sighed. "You're not much for conversation, you know that? What's your deal, huh? Why are you so... sulky? I mean, don't get me wrong- I like sulking! LOVE it, even. But not to this extent, c'mon! You haven't even TRIED to eat the bird with the funny accent lately! I love when you do that; it's hilarious!"

The boa constrictor found himself giving a slight smile, as he recalled whom the lemur was speaking of.

"Yes, it is being quite true. I am rather fond of this little game the puffin and I have devised- me being the predator...and he being the exquisitely tasty meal. He is making the most musical squawking I've heard in the longest of times." Savio's amusement vanished, as he curled himself tighter into a ball; the constrictor trying to keep as much of his body on his heating rock as possible. " However, I am sorry to say, my friend, that you shall not be laughing at our game for some time now. While I would not say I am sulking, it is true that I am little under the weather BECAUSE of the weather."

"The weather? Yeah, okay, I know we just had a random light show for a moment there- seriously, what is UP with that!- and yeah, heck, it's even kinda cold out there. But no big! Just a nip. Sure, it's a completely different environment from Madagascar- now there's a vacation spot! Beautiful beaches, lots of sun and places to snooze away the afternoon. Your kind of place, I'm thinking. It even has lots of small mammals to chow down on, if you're into that kind of thing- and let's be honest- of course you are! Not MY thing, exactly, but hey- who am I to judge on a little thing like a diet? Speaking of, which, losing some weight, pal? Slim and slithery is a good look on you! Oh yeah, and TOTALLY digging the scales thing you're working. You must be a hit in the fashion industry. But look at me! I'm just going on and on-WOAH! Stop me, before I lose myself!"

Clemson paused, as he stroke his chin as he tried to recall what they were discussing.

"Yeah, what were we talking about again?"

Savio rolled his wide eyes, before glaring down from his tank in annoyance.

"The cold."

"Ah, yes! Thank you! Yeah, the cold. It's not THAT bad. And if need be, I can just knit you up a little something to give you the extra bit of warmth for your scaley needs. Got a favorite color? See, now I'm partial to green and orange, myself. In fact- OH! You would look rather impressive in 'em- not that you need anything to make you look any more impressive! Am I right, or am I right? Of COURSE I am, LOOK AT YOU! A big ol' hunk of attractractive snake's skin, you!"

"I am not too partial to the colors, no." The boa couldn't help but both be flattered and suspicious from the array of compliments. Though, he found himself shrugging it off. The mammal had a habit of buttering other animals up, as well. And, he could admit it, he was rather fond of his scales. "However, I am feeling that the colors or winter wear are not being my main concern. My problem is not with the availability of acquiring clothing, but of the fact that I am cold-blooded. Unlike you mammals, whom have an internal fire running through your veins, we reptiles must rely on an outside source for our needs. And I am sad to say, that this New Jersey weather is severely lacking in heat; thus, my friend, I am forced to lock myself away from the outside world. No matter how much I am wishing for freedom."

Well, there went Clemson's plans for the evening. He never realized cold-blooded worked quite that way; his plan to take his friend of sorts out for a day of fun had just been ruined. The lemur deflated and sighed, still watching the reptile through the glass.

"Oh, freedom? Ha! Let me tell you, freedom is NOT what it's all cracked up to be. All this free time? It does things to a guy's head! Heck, just look at me; totally bonkers. Would a sane guy ramble on like this, who talks this much, huh? This guy, that's who! Look at me, I'm still going!"

Savio didn't even bother to reply this time. Had he fallen asleep? Huh. Well, if he wasn't going to get out here and spend the day with Clemson, Clemson would just have to spend the day with him.

"In fact, you know what? I've HAD it up to here with all of this freedom. Yup, I'm sick and tired of it." The mammal had easily climbed his way to the top of the tank, undid the latches on the hatch, and plunked down inside the tank with likely the largest carnivore in the Hoboken Zoo.

Savio snapped awake. Had that been the sound of a small animal in his tank? Was it dinner time already? He shot up... way up... and spun around, towering over little Clemson, who gazed up with a grin.

Oh, it was just Clemson ... in his tank... how delicious he looked. What a shame it would be, to devour the only animal in the Hoboken Zoo he could consider a friend. But something inside was telling him friends and food could easily be mixed, and he was so very hungry.

Clemson did not like the way the snake was looking at him. "Ah... you know, in hindsight, this was definitely a very stupid move on my part."

Savio's tongue flicked out, tasting the animal from a distance. "You do realize I will have to eat you now, yes?"

"Yeah I get that."

The lemur managed to dive out of the way just in time to avoid the lunging reptile, and then he was running for his life. Savio gave out a vicious hiss, before bounding for the mammal again. Clemson was able to leap over the scaly flesh, using the tank's wall for leverage as he bounced towards the other end. The snake thumped his head on the glass, before glaring and attempted to catch his prey once more. Another thump was heard, as Savio rammed into the glass again.

"Come now, I am not having a taste for fast food this afternoon."

"YOU'RE not in the mood?!" Clemson found himself yelping out a cry, as the tail end tried to grab at him. "Hey, nobody wants you eating anything high in fat! Just look at me, practically empty calories. Not good enough for ya! Here how about I just excuse myself and go find you something a little more satisfy- GYAH!"

The bamboo lemur, after dodging Savio's mouth yet again, found himself tripping and smacking face first into the tank. Panic set in, after Clemson had the stars leave his eyes, as the boa constrictor used some of his long stomach to pin the mammal to the glass. Savio chuckled, as his forked tongue darted out and took another taste test of his friend.

"Now, don't be being modest. I'd say you're positively tantalizing. Besides, you've always been one to chew the fat amongst us; I am merely suggesting I return the favor. Goodbye, dear Clemson, I must admit I shall be missing you."

Clemson wasn't sure which upset him more; the fact he was about to be swallowed whole by his best friend yet again, or the fact that he couldn't reply, due to having his face smooshed up against the glass. Not being able to talk really bothered the lemur. All in all, this was going to suck, as Clemson shut his eyes- awaiting the inevitable.

The inevitable was put on hold, as the laws of physics took over; the tank containing the two began to tip, and then slide, as the large reptile leaned in closer to swallow his prey.

Clemson was released as Savio realized too late the mistake he had made, just as the tank toppled over onto the reptile exhibit floor, the glass shattering, scattering shards of itself, along with the fake foliage and rocks, everywhere.

Savio looked around, startled, in a panic, as the chill began to set in. The reptile house was kept rather warm, but being on the floor outside of his cage in the middle of winter still wasn't comfortable. He spotted his heating rock, and quickly moved and curl back up on top of it, but it no longer seemed to be exuding any heat.

The loud crash had alerted two zoo keepers, and they rushed in- not even noticing the small lemur dart out the door between their feet- and came to a screeching halt just inside. That was one big snake, and he was loose... though not very threatening at the moment, curled up and shivering on a broken heating rock. One of them unclipped the communicator radio from his belt.

"So uh... we got a problem over here. The boa constrictor tank broke, and now we got a big snake without no glass between it and us."

A voice crackled to life on the other end of the device. "It broke? How does a tank that size just break?"

"How the heck should I know! It's just broken, okay, very broken!"

"And we ain't stayin' for dinner, neither!" yelled the other into the walkie talkie.

The two turned and left, shutting the door firmly behind them. The walkie talkie began to speak again. "Alright, keep the snake confined, make sure it does NOT escape! We'll get proper handlers down there in a minute. We'll uh... send it to another zoo while we order another tank, most likely."

"Roger and out." The guard placed the walkie-talkie back onto his belt, before muttering to the second guy. "Yikes! At least the big fella didn't escape. Don't need panic goin' on like the last time."

The second zookeeper frowned in thought.

"So where DO ya think they gonna send the thing?"

"Probably the same place we always send 'em- Central Park Zoo. Almost makes you feel sorry for the guy, don't it?"

"Nah, almost makes me want a sandwich. Think we can ditch this thing and go chow down?"

"Always thinking with your stomach, Bill. But alright." The zookeeper did one last check on the door, just to make sure it was still locked. "'sides, he ain't our problem no more."

Savio and the penguins weren't the only ones with problems.

"Maurice!" The royal lemur cried, as he was wrapped up from head to booty in blanket after blanket. "What is taking you so long with de hot cocoa-ness? I am desiring de said hotness-OH! And de marshmallows. The marshmallows are what sells de t'ing at all!"

Maurice gave out a shivered sigh, as he hopped from foot to foot- neither of them enjoying the snow under them. Man, it was times like this, that the aye-aye really missed the heat of their old home. The mammal sniffled, his nose red from his cold he was suffering from, as he bent over to search the lower cabinets of their smoothie bar area.

"Great, " he mumbled at first, before Maurice yelled loud enough for the other lemur to hear. "I'm sorry, King Julien, but it seems we're out of cocoa packets!"

King Julien gasped.

"No cocoa packets?;! Dat's...dat is being the most horrible news I heard all day! Maurice, you have failed your king, and now your king is going to be dying from being de freezy-pops!"

He paused.

"Wait, do we at least have the marshmallow thingies?"

The servant raised a brow.

"Uh, sir, the marshmallows came WITH the packets."

Julien gasped again.

"No, I am being corrected- DAT is being da worstest news I have been hearing! Maurice, as your king, I am demanding dat you be fixing dis here problem...and also getting me the warmth, yes?"

Maurice sneezed just then, making a 'yuck' face after his hands were covered in mucus. Wiping his hands in a nearby snowbank and sniffing, he replied, "I don't feel so good. Can't you get your own hot cocoa, just this once?"

The king gaped at his servant; had he just refused an order?

"I cannot be believing the words that I am hearing! Maurice, are you saying that I, the royal king, should go and get my feet all freezy and wet, to do the job that was supposed to be getting done by you?"

The aye-aye sniffed again, followed by two more sneezes. "Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm sayin'. It ain't that hard; Roger's habitat is right over there, and he should have some."

Just then, Mort hopped up on the arm of the royal throne. "Oh! I will do it! I will get the thing for King Julien!" he chirped, excitedly. Julien smiled, if only for a second.

"Well then, get to doing it already!" snapped the king impatiently, shoving the little mouse lemur off of his throne. Mort landed in a snowbank, disappearing completely under two feet of snow.

Maurice and Julien watched as Mort moved slowly forward through the snow, grunting with every step. Four steps in, and he had to stop to catch his breath. "Am I there yet? Helloooo out there." he sang, tiredly.

The lemur king groaned. "Okay, fine, I will be getting it myself. But I am NOT happy about it!" Julien declared, hopping off of his throne and stomping off in search of his precious packets.

Maurice stared after him and blinked. "I can't believe that worked."

It didn't take long for Julien to hop over his habitat wall, and land on the other side. He felt a shiver go through him, as a wind struck his fur with a gush of cold. Not being one of common sense, he did not go back to fetch any sort of shield from the elements, as he instead began to mumble to himself as he trudged onward.

"Stupid Maurice...with his stupid head and stupidness...making de king go get his own thingies...WHO do he thing he is? He isn't de king! I am knowing this because the king is being ME! So he is being de servant and SO should be doing the getting! Out in the coldness, with me in de blankets and all warmy!"

Finally he made it all the way over to the far side of the zoo, where the alligator exhibit was located, as he hopped up on top of wall and began shouting demands.

'You! Gator-persons with the teeths! The king is demanding you be showing yourself to him." A pause, as he looked around, not quite knowing where the inhabitant was. He strained his eyes, as he cupped a hand over them. "Uh...you ARE here, aren't you?"

The lemur king received no answer, and saw nothing of the reptile as he scanned the habitat. Snow, a naked tree, a very frozen pond, but no alligator.

Julien took a deep breath and prepared to shout as loudly as he could, but a sudden gust of wind ate up his voice and pushed him off of the wall, into the habitat, where he landed in a snow bank.

By the time he managed to climb out and shake himself off, he was really cold. Lemurs were not meant for snow. They were meant for warm weather, for jungles, for pampering. He was about to give up on this quest and make Maurice do it, after all, when he heard someone calling out.

"Hello? Is someone there? Do I have company? Oh! I'm over here!"

Turning toward the voice, Julien could see a large green snout poking out of an out-of-the-way cave on the outskirts of the habitat, all but hidden from where he'd been perched upon the wall moments before. The snout disappeared back inside, and he decided to follow it. He really wanted that hot cocoa.

"How dare you be hiding from your king! Do you not see that-" the angry rant that had been prepared died just as soon as Julien stepped into the cave, and a blast of warm air blasted away the cold, and with it, his anger. The mammal slumped as all tension left his body and he suddenly felt very relaxed, very happy, very... sleepy.

"Well, don't just stand there; come in, come in! It's absolutely freezing out there! ... Literally! Just look at my pond!"

The alligator he'd been looking for stood in the center of a rather well-lit and elegantly decorated... not to mention fairly large, cave, behind a little wooden table.

"You do not give the king orders, that is MY- ... actually, okay, I don't really care right now, so much." replied the lemur, making his way over to the small table, and plunking himself down in one of the chairs. Propping his feet up on the table, he leaned back and smiling lazily up at Roger.

"Hey, Toothy-guy, how have the up things been?"

The alligator gave a polite smile... even if he was currently a little grossed out and offended by the lemur's feet on his table.

"Oh, well... uh, Julien, was it?"

"KING Julien. Do not be forgetting the king part, it's a very important part!"

"Of course, of course; KING Julien. I've been trying to keep from freezing, doing a lot of thinking, knitting a little, here and there, redecorating, making this place a little more homey, you know, puttering." replied Roger, with a smile, turning away to fuss over something Julien couldn't see. "And what brings the KING here, to my home?"

The mammal closed his eyes, and placed his hands behind his head, soaking in the warmth. "Oh, you know, kingly business-es." came his distracted, uninterested reply. Suddenly his eyes shot back open, and he sat up straight, the chair righting itself with a loud CLACK.

The sound startled the alligator, and he yelped, spinning around, wide-eyed. "What! What was that!"

Julien stood, arms crossed defiantly over his chest. "Why is it, that you are having the warm heatingness, while I, the royal king, am NOT having it?"

Roger looked at him blankly for a short while. Had he offended his guest? He'd hardly said a word! He scratched his head, turned to grab the tray of hot drinks he'd prepared, and sat down opposite of where his guest stood, setting the tray down on the table, and smiling hopefully. "Um... well, you see, I NEED the extra heat, with my cold blood, and all. I can't move when I get cold, oh, it's just DREADFUL!" he said, giving a shiver for emphasis.

The lemur's pose fell as he eyed the cups of the tray... was that? He sniffed the air. It was! Julien smiled wide and plunked himself back into the chair, swiping the cup closest to himself, the unfairness of the situation all but forgotten as he breathed in the sweet smell of hot cocoa. "Ye-heh-hehs! Now this is what I am talking about!" he took a sip and gasped in surprise. "AND it has the little marshmallow thingies in it! It is like you were looking into my brainy parts and reading about them!"

Roger's smile faltered slightly; that had sounded a little gross. But he was delighted that his guest was enjoying himself so much, and he took his own cup, taking a sip.

Julien set his cup down, and looked around, back in his content, dream-like state. "Pretty nice place, for a stinky cave. No, really, I like what you did with the... uh... dirt, and things."

Julien wasn't so great with compliments. But he was trying. Roger just shrugged,

"Yeah, it's pretty nice, I suppose. I mean, I'm real grateful! I like it! But, you know, I've been thinking it'd sure be nice to have someone here to share it with me..."

The mammal across from him took another sip from his mug. "Ah, I am understanding what it is you are saying; like a lady friend, yes?" he replied, raising his brow and grinning.

The reptile became flustered, nearly spilling his hot drink as he choked on the cocoa. Julien was about to comment on it, wondering if he was sick too- last thing the royal lemur needed was to be surrounding himself with TWO sickly people. He JUST left Maurice because of that! However, before he could, Roger waved his claws as he collected himself.

"Wow, you're GOOD. But, um," he stalled," I'm not sure that's quite right either. It's rather a 'yes' and a 'no', really.'

This confused the king.

"Yes AND no? Silly gator-persons, things can not be being the yeses and noses! I know because I tried, and it doesn't really work out. But, uh, YEAH! The king demands an explanation!" He stopped, as he scratched the side of his head- shifting his crown a little. "Seriously, I don't get it."

"Oh, well, um...'yes', because I do admit I am drawn to a certain someone. And 'yes' that they are female...But, uh, also 'no' because they could also be a guy." A pause. "Possibly. I don't know, really. Apparently it's hard to tell with birds."

Julien scoffed.

"Pfft. Birds. Always with the feathery peoples! They think dey are being all mysterious and secretiveness, with de hiding of their parts...Uh, dey do have de parts, yes? Eh, nevermind, I am not really wanting to be knowing."

Roger was pleased to hear this, because he wasn't sure he was quite comfortable with the road the conversation was going, and was glad for the question withdrawal. The lemur, however, wasn't finished with his inquiries when he became animated once more and began gesturing his hands excitedly.

"Ooo, but yes! Come come! Be spilling de beany goodness! So, feelings, yes? Who is it? Is it the tall one with de pouch?"

The gator raised a brow at this.

"'Pouch'? Wait...you mean Joey? Joey's a kangaroo, not a bird…" The confusion melted away as he realized something about his guest. "Wow, you're really lacking in the animal facts, aren't you?"

"Uh, no! YOU, my friend, are lacking in de facts! Joey is being the bird-persons, 'cause a kangaroo is de animal with de sharp teeths, and the scaley thingies!"

"Wait, are you talking about alligators? I'M an alligator!"

Julien sighed, giving the reptile a look of pity.

"Poor guy, you're even in confusiness about yourself! Momma Kangaroo musta had trouble wit you, huh? But no matters, my friend, your king is going to be doing the helpings!"

"You...are?"

"Yes! Your king is being all about the wooing. I have had many girlfriends. Ladies dig the crown, you know. So, out of de kindness of my heart, I am going to be helping you to get the she-he person's attention!"

The forced smile that Roger offered was taken by the king as gratitude, and he held up his empty mug.

"Now, why don't you be serving up some more of that delicious cocoa, with the little marshmallows in it, and we can start de talk about the wooing."

Roger sighed, stood up, and took the mug from his guest. He wasn't confident that Julien could do anything but make things worse, but it was rude to judge someone before giving them a chance, and besides... it was nice to have company.

That last thought put the pep back in the gator's step, and he twirled around once, and smiled wide; a genuine smile this time.

"Sure thing, you got it! Another cup of piping hot chocolate; for the King, no less!"

Julien felt a warmth rush through him...and only for a minute did he suspect that it was more than the hot air circulating throughout the cave. The inkling of thought was quickly lost, as another mug of cocoa was set in front of him- and this one with even MORE marshmallows than the last one!

Oh, yes, the king was liking this arrangement.

Very much so.

Chapter Text

December 4th, late afternoon. The sun was shining bright over Manhattan. It was the first perfectly sunny day that the citizens had experienced in a while, and the people gladly took the opportunity to partake in a few outdoor activities. The snow was slightly melting from the rays, as stay-at-home parents and grandparents took their little ones to see the adorable animals of Central Park Zoo.

While there were many animals to see...some children found themselves disappointed as the penguin habitat appeared empty. The humans walked by, curious to know where the cute and cuddly birds could be. What kept them away, and not up to their usual antics?

That, of course, was classified to all non-penguin personnel.

Secured in their lair, and away from all outside activities, were the likes of the avian commandos. Skipper stood at the head of the table, where two members of his team sat on either side of him. Rico, however, was busy manning the periscope, on guard and ever watchful to see if any of the zookeepers would try to interfere with their meeting.

Last thing they needed was Alice having more ammunition against them to present to her zoo overlords.

"Alright, men," the squatty squad leader said gravely, as he leaned onto the table's concrete surface," you know the snafu we're in. We need money, but more importantly...we need options!"

Despite the stress the team analyst was currently under, his notepad came out by habit, and he hastily began scribbling on it. A few seconds passed, and he looked up from his work.

"Well, we could sell some unwanted, or otherwise unneeded items on I-sell-dot-com." he suggested with a shrug. Private hugged his Lunacorn doll to his chest and whimpered, and Skipper shook his head.

"No one's going to sell your doll, Private." he assured. The young private relaxed with a smile.

"Not that anyone would want it." mumbled Kowalski. Private threw him a mild glare.

"And nothing else is going to be sold, either! All of our belongings are wanted, needed, and highly classified." said Skipper.

Private raised his flipper politely, but didn't wait to be addressed.

"Skipper, what about that golden set of chompers you have? It doesn't very well seem like you'll ever be needing those silly things again, does it?"

Their leader gave Private a look that made the smallest penguin sink in his chair. "I said, nothing is going to be sold! Case closed, Private."

Skipper turned his attention back to Kowalski. "So, what else ya got?"

The tallest penguin glanced at the notepad in his flippers briefly, then lowered it and looked around the room, instead.

"Uh... car... wash?"

"A car wash? Kowalski, come on! Get in the game, man! I know you can do better than that!"

The analyst glared back at his leader. "I'm under a lot of stress right now, okay?!" he threw back, in a whiny tone. Skipper was about to respond, when Rico interrupted.

"Maw'rice!"

But Rico's warning came too late, and Skipper had time to wonder who forgot to lock the hatch as Maurice plopped down through it, followed closely by Mort.

"What the... what in the blazes are you doing here? ... And where's Ringtail, for that matter?"

Maurice seemed out of breath, as if he'd run over.

"That's the problem! ... Well, one of 'em, anyway. Savio's back; y'know, the giant snake guy? Likes to eat small animals? And now Julien's gone missin'!"

There was a collective gasp from the four penguins.

"Oh boy." said Rico.

"I think we can pretty much guess where he disappeared to! Some place dark, and slimy, and filled with stomach acid... and maybe the skeletal remains of a few rodents, or smaller reptiles." said Skipper, perhaps getting a little too wrapped up in his visuals.

Mort was on all fours, sniffing everything... and everyone... a look of angry determination on his face. Finally he returned to Maurice, stretching up to look him in the eyes, clutching to the larger lemur's ears to keep him there.

"The feet are not here, either!" he whined.

Far too worried to be creeped out by Mort's behavior, Maurice pleaded with the penguins as he grabbed the nuisance off of his face.

"Please, you guys gotta DO something! Who KNOWS how long Julien has been in that guy's guts, or how much longer he's gonna last!"

"Well," Kowalski said as he stroke his chin in thought, " it all depends on the size of his meal. A boa Savio's size has the capabilities of digesting its prey up to six months. Though, admittedly, those are larger meals, and they obviously don't actually survive all that time. But Julien and HIS size...I say he'd have a couple days before he's nothing but the excrements of a suave killer."

The lemurs gasped once more, as a look of determination came over the commander of the flightless fowl.

"Not if *I* have anything to say about it! Come on, men, let's go rescue us a Ringtail!"

Over at the reptile house, the building was pleasantly warm as Savio found himself fighting to stay conscious. Though it was only a little after one, the boa found himself tuckered out from the long morning he had. Not only was the night terribly chilly without his heating rock to keep him warm, thus making it hard to find sleep, but then daybreak greeted him with stress as the dolts for Hoboken zookeepers made an ordeal about catching him and putting him into a crate. Oh, how he had dreaded the thought of going out into the cold! Surely it was logical for him to stay where it was at least warm enough to not torture his poor slithery self? Alas, the universe did not agree, as he was snared and thrust into the wooden box. And OH- how it had been brumal out in the open air! And that truck that shipped him off to who knew where? It wasn't much better, heatwise, as he shivered and then constantly hit his head as the truck went over pothole after potholes.

Americans, you could never trust them to keep the streets clean and orderly!

It didn't take long for the snake to reach his destination, as his tongue flickered out as he recognized his location. New York. Another flick of the tongue told him it was even more familiar, as he could smell the air of Central Park Zoo. Admittedly, the boa was conflicted. On one hand, he knew for a fact that they would have the warmth that he so desperately craved! On the other…

Savio found himself stirring from his foggy haze, as his tongue picked up the scent of guests. The snake found himself hissing as he slightly uncurled himself and lifted his head from his self-made nest.

"Penguins...My, I wasn't expecting a reunion so soon. What brings forth the momentous occasion?"

As expected, the four commando penguins... plus two lemurs... stood outside of his glass prison. Skipper was glaring daggers at him, but this had no effect on the snake; it was difficult to fear those who had failed time and time again to defeat you themselves. That didn't make Savio dislike them any less, however.

"So it's true; Savio has returned. What's a cold-blooded monster like you doing back at Central Park Zoo?" asked Skipper. His voice was low, calm, but the tone spoke of suspicion and resentment, which were two things Savio had come to recognize well.

The large boa gave a heavy sigh.

"It is, a long story." he replied with disinterest.

"We've got time!" said Skipper, his tone changing to mock cheer and optimism in seconds. Beside him, Private tapped him on his shoulder.

"Actually, we don't, Skipper! We have to get back to figuring out a way to earn-OW." the young penguin's whispering was cut short with a slap upside the back of his head.

Skipper turned back to the reptile behind the glass.

"So, start talking!" demanded the commando leader.

Savio rolled his eyes.

"Fine. If it will make you go away, I will talk. My tank, it is broken. They, meaning the idiota handlers back at Hoboken, are repairing it, and I needed a warm place to go." The reptile gave it a moment's consideration. "Well, it seemed like a much longer story in my mind." he finished quickly.

Skipper raised a brow.

"Broken? How'd that happen? Tanks don't just break, all willy-nilly!"

"I do not wish to talk about it," replied Savio. He suddenly sounded very tired, and he'd looked away when he'd said it. Skipper was about to prod further, when Maurice cleared his throat deliberately.

"Uh, guys? King Julien, remember?"

"What about Ringtail- oh! Right, completely slipped my mind there for a second." said Skipper, with a nervous chuckle. He cleared his throat and continued. "It seems one royal pain in my tail feathers has gone missing, and it also seems awfully suspicious that he would vanish right when a certain lemur-devouring psychopath returned to the zoo!" Skipper accused.

Savio glared. Of course they were here to blame him for something; why else would anyone visit? "I did not eat your friend, I can assure you. My stomach does not agree with me when it is cold." he replied simply... he was not in the mood to start any fights.

"Actually, he may have a point; colder temperatures tend to drastically alter cold-blooded animals' metabolisms, causing them to eat even less than usual. Some even stop eating all together, until the temperatures rise again."All turned to Kowalski for his short, yet informative, speech. The silence that had fallen over the room had made him uncomfortable. "...Well, I'm just saying."

"Besides..." added Savio, sensing and not caring for said awkward moment. "The taste for lemur, it has left me cold, so to speak." The large snake curled back into a scaly pile, his head tucked under himself, signalling that for him, this conversation was over.

Skipper glared up at the case, his posture strong as he sized up the predator. While years of instincts told him not to trust the guy...the avian commander's gut was telling him that, this time, what he spoke was the truth. The penguin leader turned his head towards the head royal servant, as he mumbled.

"Huh. I think he might be actually legit this time. Then if he isn't in the belly of some carnivorous beast...then where the heck IS Ringtail?!"

Before Maurice could respond, Skipper faced the snake tank once more, as he spoke loud enough for Savio to hear.

"Alright, Mister Snowmiser, you seem clean THIS time. But, oh, I'll be keeping my eyes on you. You won't even be able to BLINK without me knowing about it, GOT IT?"

Savio said nothing, as he continued to face away from the small group of animals. The lead penguin began to turn away, asking his analyst for options on where a lemur could get off to. The others followed...except for the young private. The sensitive soldier looked up at the reptile, a tilt of his head given as his own emotional instinct told him that something was wrong with the boa- beyond a dislike of the weather. Private took a step forward, as he cleared his throat softly.

"Savio...Are you feeling okay? You don't seem very...chipper. Not like your usual self at ALL." He paused, as he spoke without really thinking." Does it have something to do with how your tank broke?"

Savio found himself uncurling slightly at that, as he peeked out at the prying penguin. He was stone-faced, as he took in the look of concern on the tasty morsel's face. Before he could respond, however, their conversation was halted by a cry from the door.

"PRIVATE! No chatting it up with the pretty yellow wallet-we got work to do! C'mon!"

Private jumped to attention... and from surprise, no doubt, and spun around to face his leader.

"Sorry, Skipper! On my way!" he called to the already retreating penguin. The young soldier turned to leave, himself, but looked back one more time and whispered, "I hope whatever is making you glum is fixed real soon!"

The thought of calling to the little bird and asking him to return later crossed Savio's mind fleetingly, but even before he'd decided against it, Private was gone anyway.

"No, Savio, he does not really care," the large reptile mumbled to himself, resuming his sulk-pile position. "Few do."

Over by the flamingo habitat, a suspected missing lemur king and a large alligator were doing a rather poor job of hiding behind some shrubbery that hugged the outside of the surrounding wall.

Roger wasn't moving very well, and it wasn't just because of the cold. The reptile was bundled up as warmly as possible; a thick winter coat covered most of him, while a large knitted hat was pulled down just above his eyes. A bright scarf, which matched the hat, naturally, as he'd knitted those himself, was wound around his neck, and another wrapped around his tail. His feet were clad in large clumsy boots that didn't really fit his stubby, clawed feet, and mittens adorned his hands. All in an attempt to fight off the biting windchill.

Julien hoisted himself up enough to peer over the wall, and scoffed. "I'm not seeing what the big confused-edness is being about; that is obviously a lady." he stated, matter-of-factually.

Roger's head poked up over the wall. "Really? How can you tell?"

"Are you not seeing with your eyes what is right in the front of you? Do you not see all of that pink? Pink is SO totally a girl thing, trust me, I am knowing these things."

The alligator pouted slightly at that, as he responded back defensively.

"Well THAT'S not true! I happen to LIKE pink, thankyouverymuch. Not only is it a nurturing color, but it also happens to blend really well with the rest of my home decor."

King Julien was silent as he stared at the reptile, eyes half-lidded in mild boredom and thought. Finally, he lazily pointed a finger at the larger animal as he began talking once more.

"Mmhmm, okay...Are you sure YOU are not being the one who is confuse-ed about their gender-y parts?"

"Wha-NO! No, I mean...and in yes, I'm sure I'm not confused about my OWN gender!"

"OKAY, sheesh. No needing to be getting all yelly with your king." The lemur looked back at the flamingo they were supposed to be spying on, as he tried thinking once more. Pinky, who had been busy chatting away with the rest of their flamingo clique, broke away to go to the pool over by the brick wall. Julien grew excited at he waved his hands about, and then jumping onto Roger's cap as he pointed at the colorful bird.

"Looky! They are breaking away from de pink feathery posse! Now is being you chance to be going up to them and be doing the wooing!"

'J-just like that?" Roger stuttered as he nibbled on his mitts nervously. "Oh, I don't know about this, Julien. What am I even going to SAY to them?"

"There is nothing to be doing the worrying about! I will be doing the hiding, and I will be telling you all of de pick-up words to be getting de flamingo to be like the putty in your hands. It's so simple and fool-proof even stupid Mort can't foul it up and make it all stinky!"

Suddenly, the lemur king was no longer upon the gator's head, but on the ground to where he'd been tackled. A small fuzzy creature clung to his legs, and Julien screamed.

"You mentioned my name! You do care! Oh, I was missing you so much!" cooed Mort, nuzzling the king's foot affectionately, while Julien tried in vain to pry him off of his person. No one was really sure if the tiny mouse lemur had been talking to Julien... or just his feet.

Roger watched the scene in stunned silence. It was making him uncomfortable, and he wasn't quite sure why. Should he help, or... was this none of his business?

"Your Highness! We've been lookin' all OVER for you! Why didn't you come home last night, what's goin' on?" questioned Maurice, rushing over to help his king to his feet... which, even when he was righted, Mort's iron hold on his ankles was not broken.

"MORT! What did I TELL YOU about TOUCHING the royal FEET! Especially when it is being COLD!" Julien hissed behind clenched teeth. It was obvious he was struggling to hold back an explosive temper, and Mort slid off of his feet almost fluidly, huddled next to him, his own tail wrapped around himself, as he looked up at his king with big, glassy eyes.

"You said that I shouldn't do it." replied the tiny lemur slowly, flashing a sheepish grin.

"Hold the phone! Roger? And Ringtail? What brought on this little horse and pony show alliance?" demanded Skipper, suddenly standing behind Roger, along with the other three penguins.

Roger turned around, and smiled wide to see four of his best pals. "Oh, hey guys! Julien- oh! I mean, KING Julien, was just helping me out with... some things." he replied, the grin never leaving his maw.

Skipper raised a brow and looked around the large reptile at Julien. "The Ringtail ... helping? Yeah, I'm not buying it."

"It does seem unlikely... statistically speaking." said Kowalski.

"Yup." added Rico.

King Julien stomped his way around Roger, who by this point just felt like he was in the way, and stood in front of the small group of penguins, defiantly. "Hey, I can be a helper-guy as well as a bunch of stupidy penguins. BETTER, even!"

"Sorry, Julien, we didn't mean to offend you. We're were just really worried about you, is all!" Private said, giving his best apologetic smile. Skipper frowned.

"Now Private, I wouldn't go that far..."

"Oh, right then. I was worried."

But the king was already waving them off. "Whatever, go away now, so I can do the helping, which is still going to be better than penguiny-kind of helping, by the way."

The royal lemur climbed back up the wall and peeked over; he gasped. Before any of the others could react or respond, Julien hopped onto the gator's back once more, as he grabbed Roger's head to look back at the flamingo they were supposed to be spying on.

"They are starting to be getting away and back to de others! Quick, you must STOP them!"

"B-b-but I still don't know what to SAY!" Roger cried out.

"Be doing the improvising!" Julien turned his attention as he then shouted loud enough to get Pinky's attention. "HEY YOU, PRETTY ONE WITH DE FEATHERS!"

The alligator was positively mortified as all the others leapt and pressed themselves to the wall, to remain out of sight; all except the king who had, instead, chosen to hide inside the coat WITH the reptile. It took everything in Roger's willpower not to squirm, even as the lemur's tail began to tickle him as it brushed against the back of his neck. Roger gulped as he then noted all of the flamingos were staring at him in confusion- all except for one who actually managed to smile as they came closer.

"Roger?" Pinky flapped their wings, before tucking them comfortably to their sides. "Is that you, baby? What are you doing out? I thought winter really wasn't your thing, honey."

Roger found himself chuckling nervously before he was aware of it. "Oh! Haha, hello, Pinky! I uh, I mean, it is, isn't, isn't! Winter, I mean, it isn't my thing, no." he stammered.

"Stop saying words that I am not telling you to say!" came a sharp whisper from his coat.

"I'm sorry! I was kinda shoved into this a little too soon, y'know?" Roger whispered back at his coat.

Pinky cocked his or her head at the sight, as Roger continued to talk to his apparel.

"...Are you sure? OW! Okay, okay, I'm saying it, I'm saying it!" said the alligator, and cleared his throat, smiling at the flamingo.

"Um... were you just hit in the head with a baseball, because I think... you're... swell?" Roger's uncertainty worsened as the look on Pinky's face told him they were clearly offended... or was that merely confusion?

"Excuse me?" squawked the bird. But Roger was back to arguing with his coat.

"What, no! I'm not saying that! It doesn't even make sense!"

Pinky took a step closer and offered a sympathetic look. "Are you feelin' alright? I think this cold air's gettin' to your head, sugar."

"Oh, NO!" Roger realized his outburst was far too loud, as his crush was taken aback by the intensity. "S-sorry about that. Maybe you're right, I'm suddenly not feeling all there- mentally speaking. So sorry to have bothered you, Pinky. But, um, It was REALLY nice seeing you. I hope to see you again real soon!"

Before the colorful bird could say their goodbyes, another loud cry was heard from the reptile's coat. Roger cried out in pain as a hand popped out of his collar to slap him upside his head.

"Do not be leaving yet! The king is ordering you to stay! I am still having de things for you to be saying!"

Pinky raised a brow.

"Is that Julien in your jacket?"

Roger was petrified, as he found himself arching his back straight with his arms stiff at his sides. He darted his eyes back and forth, looking anywhere BUT at the lovely individual in front of him. Oh, he was shaking- he just knew it! And if Roger could have sweat, he would be doing so, as his nerves got the better of him.

Thankfully, a familiar clamour was just the thing needed to distract the flamingo from the scared alligator.

"MISSION'S BEEN COMPROMISED! Smoke bomb, STAT!"

Pinky cried out in alarm, as a burst of blue smoke shot up from the ground. They began to cough violent, as they tried fanning away the fumes with a colorful wing. The bird's vision was impaired, not being able to see a thing as they continued to choke on the smoke. Finally, once it cleared away, Pinky opened their eyes to see that their awkward gator guest had been replaced with one of much smaller stature.

Pinky blinked as a certain avian commander, standing on the brickwall, merely waved his flippers as he spoke cryptically.

"Youuu didn't see anythiiiing…"

And with that, Skipper backflipped off the wall, and had soon vanished. The colorful bird craned their neck, trying to peek over the blockade to see just where he had went. But there was nothing- not a glimpse nor sighting of tailfeathers to even indicate where he had gotten to.

Nothing was left but one confused flamingo.

Satisfied they were a safe distance away from the flamingo habitat, the unlikely group of mismatched animals stopped running... or sliding, in the case of four snowbirds.

Roger bent over, gasping for breath, and finally collapsed in a heap; that was it, what little energy reserves the cold allowed him were spent. Nevertheless, he glanced up at the penguins and gave a grateful smile.

"Gee guys, thanks for that. I thought for SURE I was a goner! Struck down by sheer humiliation! Oh, I was so embarrassed." the large gator confessed, covering his eyes with his glove covered claws.

"I don't really think you can die from that..." said little Private, trying and failing to be helpful.

"No, not really. You would clearly freeze to death long before succumbing to any sort of psychological..." Kowalski trailed off when he noticed the same annoyed and/or blank stares he had received earlier. "Yeah, I know. Why don't I just learn to keep my beak shut?"

Skipper looked impressed. "Uncanny! It's like you're reading my mind!"

Kowalski slumped and sighed, glaring at the ground. Rico put a reassuring flipper on his back. "Aww."

Suddenly, Julien popped out of Roger's collar, gasping for air, before plopping out onto the frozen ground himself. He was lucky the giant alligator hadn't crushed him completely. The lemur king struggled to his feet, and dusted himself off and righting his crown, glaring at the penguins. Mort and Maurice ran over to join him.

"What was that being all about, huh? I told you I didn't need your stupid penguin help, and now look how much you upped the messiness of the situation!"

"Are you DAFT, man?" Skipper began, before stopping himself. "Nevermind, I already know THAT answer. LOOK, Ringtail, your plan was sinking faster than the Titanic after having a run-in with an iceberg. Roger was choking out there, and was in dire need of a rescue. I haven't seen somebody blow it with a crush that bad since Manfredi and Johnson!"

The other three penguins bowed their heads in respect. Kowalski sighed with pity as he spoke up for them all.

"Who knew love triangles involving two penguins, and a buttered elephant could end so...severe?"

"I still don't know where they found all that butter, actually." Private said with a frown.

The squatty leader waved off his soldiers, as he focused back on the matter at hand.

"Whether it involves butter or not, I'm not seeing another man go down like that! If you're going to be helping out our scaly friend here, you're going to have to come up with some other attack plan."

Julien thought about this for a second.

"Yes. Because you ruined this one." he replied, stubbornly. Skipper rolled his eyes. "So um, about that... I will be needing your smarty penguin guy for a while, okay?"

Both Skipper and Rico glowered at the lemur.

"No dice, Ringtail! It just so happens we need him for our own, top secret plans. You figure this one out on your own. Apologies, Roger, truly. Move out, team, hop to it!"

Roger and the lemurs watched as the four crazy birds slid away, and they were gone, leaving not a trace of ever having been there in the first place.

"Yeah that's right, you better be running away like a bunch... of... runny penguins! I don't need your help, anyway!" Julien called after... no one, by this point.

The alligator wasn't fond of the sinking dread that had taken up residence in his stomach. Dread and regret... this was going to be a long winter.

Once back at their HQ, the team went straight to work coming up with more ideas for THEIR situation. With Rico going back on lookout duty, that left the others to deal with options. The analyst, usually their ace in the hole, was still off his game as none of his suggestions were usable. Even Private's idea of them starting a babysitting business to help out the mothers of the park was a bust, as the animals out there used nuts as currency. People, on the other hand, did not. And there was NO way that any human mother was going to leave their children with a random guy in a creepy trench coat!

The squatty leader sighed as he looked over at the clock, taking in the time. It was getting late, and the boys would be needing to head to bed soon. Skipper turned to his men, as Kowalski was still in the middle of listing off suggestions.

"Lemonade stand? C'mon! lemonade stands ALWAYS work!"

"In the WINTER, Kowalski? WINTER!" Skipper's glare lessened as he gave the penguin a look of pity. "Look, you're tired. We're ALL tired. And staying up any later isn't going to help these options get any better. I say we hit the hay, and try again tomorrow."

The team looked a little worried about this plan, fearing that any minute could count in the grand scheme of things. The avian commander's expression became stern as he dared his soldiers to challenge him.

"That was an order, men, NOT a suggestion. When I get back, I expect you ALL to be in bed with the lights out."

The penguins had already been in the process of getting up from their seats and positions, heading off to the bunks, when they all stopped with a jerk to look at their leader.

Private looked the most worried, as he called the LAST time he had gone out on his own and almost never came back.

"Y-you're LEAVING?" The youth's beak trembled in the slightest. "But, where are you going?"

"No need for the sad eyes, Private, I'm only going topside for some fresh air. You won't even notice I'm gone."

And with that, Skipper hopped up the ladder and out of the latch, before he could hear any protests.

The night air was nippy, for anyone but a penguin. There would soon come a time when the temperatures fell too low even for them; but- for now- it provided a comfortable atmosphere for Skipper, as he hopped over the fence surrounding their habitat.

The zoo was quiet... the only sound being the wind, as it wafted through gently, carrying an occasional light snow drift as it passed.

Well, okay, so there was another sound- the sound of two very large gorillas snoring- but Skipper opted to tune that out.

Skipper was lost in thought, and moved slowly... but his body was on auto pilot, and he knew where he was going. The only other animal he felt he could rely on, outside of his own men.

Soon he stood outside of Marlene's cave, peering into the darkness within. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

He'd only taken one step inside when there was a sound from behind him and he froze, listening, ready to spin around and fight if need be; he wasn't going to let this turn into a rerun of his last outing alone.

"Psst, Skipper! I'm up here." he heard Marlene whisper. The penguin turned around and spotted his girlfriend sitting atop her slide, waving at him and smiling. Skipper couldn't help but smile back; she did look lovely in the moonlight. A quick slide and a hop later, and he joined her.

Marlene squealed in surprise, as she was grabbed, pulled close, and dipped backwards, a friendly beak pressed against her mouth. Mouth-to-beak kissing was still slightly awkward for both of them, but under the right circumstances, it was just as magical.

Tonight, all of the circumstances were in alignment, and when the penguin pulled away seconds later, and Marlene gazed at that suave smirk and half-lidded, deep blue eyes, her pulse raced.

"Okay wow. That, that was... that was unexpected. Wonderful! But unexpected. What..."

Skipper let her go, and casted his gaze to the moon, which hung high and silvery in the clear night sky. "Who can say? Could be the moon,... and the stars. The stars are always in cahoots with the moon. They're like its henchmen... billions of little tiny henchmen, just waiting to do its bidding."

"Uh-huh..." Marlene raised a brow, but the smile never left her face.

"Point is, you look absolutely stunning tonight, Marlene." finished Skipper, turning back to her, and flashing another charming smile.

The otter giggle-snorted and glanced away, feeling flustered. Still, after dating for so long, the crazy bird beside her still had the ability to make her flush.

"N'aww. Skipper, that's so sweet of you to say..." Marlene stepped closer, nuzzling the side of his face, her nervousness already fading. "Sooo. Can I assume this visit is for some more special bonding time?" she whispered. She could have sworn she felt Skipper shiver, and considering his species, it wasn't from the chill. But she began to doubt having felt it at all, when he turned to her, the look on his face cheerful and optimistic, and far from... whatever it was she was expecting.

"Sure, assume, assume away! You'd be wrong, but who am I to stop an assumer?" he replied with a shrug.

"Uh-huh, yeah. I'll take that to mean that wasn't your original intent." Marlene's smile slipped slightly, as she looked her lover up and down- her woman's intuition telling her something was wrong. "Is something the matter, Skipper? ...Now that I think about it, I didn't see any of you guys out while the people were here. And knowing you, that's never good news."

Despite the situation, the penguin found himself beaming wider as he responded.

"Oh, you're getting good. Guilty as charged!" The jovial expression turned serious, as the gravity of the circumstances brought him crashing back into reality. "You're right, I'm here because the boys and I have a problem. A rather big, SECRET problem."

"...What kind of big?"

Sipper went silent as he quickly looked around, the ever aware soldier checking to make sure there weren't any unexpected nosy individuals hearing what was not meant for their ears. Still not feeling comfortable, he turned back to his girlfriend and gave a harsh whisper.

"If it's alright with you, Marlene, I rather not discuss it out in the open." He nodded his head towards the otter's cave, before continuing. "Mind if we take this conversation indoors?"

Okay, now Marlene was really beginning to worry. Still, she nodded her consent; and the two made their way to her home. Once inside, with the otter sitting comfortably down on her bed, she crossed her legs before patting the seat next to her.

"Alright, Skipper, spill it: what's going on?"

Skipper didn't seem to notice her friendly "join me" gesture, and he began pacing in front of her, instead; his flippers were behind his back, his expression solemn.

"The bottom line is, we need a way to get some cash flow, pronto!"

"Wait wait, what?" Marlene interrupted. "What would you guys do with cash? You're penguins!"

Skipper rolled his eyes, but continued to pace, sparing the otter only a quick glance. "Yes Marlene, I'm aware of that. But it's not for us; it's for the zoo! The funding was cut, and apparently that means cutbacks all around. They're planning on shipping out one of my men, and I'm not having it! DO YOU HEAR ME, CRUEL ZOO OVERLORDS?! YOU WON'T TAKE ANY OF US ALIVE!"

Marlene wondered the point of going inside if he was going to scream, anyway. He'd probably just woken up the whole zoo, to tell the truth. Nevertheless, she hopped off of her bed, and put a hand on Skipper's shoulder until he looked at her.

"Skipper, calm down! Yeah, okay, funding cuts are a big problem, but I wouldn't worry too much about the guys; if they were going to ship anyone out, doncha' think it'd be one of the bigger animals? The ones who eat a whole lot more?"

The commando penguin took the otter's hand in his flipper, and shook his head. "It isn't just the four of us they're worried about! They think that Kowalski's gonna' start making more penguins. THAT'S the problem!"

Marlene's confusion was evident on her face. "Y'mean like, in his lab? Like, cloning, or...?"

Skipper gave Marlene an unimpressed, deadpan stare. "Allow me to put it a different way. They're afraid Kowalski and Rico are going to make more penguins."

Marlene stared at her boyfriend in silence. She still wasn't getting it. Her eyes searched Skipper's, hoping for more clues to this puzzle. Finally he gave an exasperated sigh.

"Marlene... really? You mean to tell me, with the way those two carry on with their mushy P-D-A, you haven't figured it out by now?"

The otter raised a brow at this.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, THAT. Well, yeah, but I thought that was kinda an established thing. Rico and Kowalski, I mean. What, was that supposed to be a secret or something?" She stopped herself from going any further than that, as she tried to make the both of them get back on track. There would be other times to talk gossip. "No, I'm mostly confused about the whole 'babies' thing. How are they going to...ya know? Aren't they both, like, GUYS?"

"Just as much as I am, anyhow." He decided to keep his comments to himself, as his own brain began to disagree on the level of manliness of his analyst. "But you know the humans, they never get their intel right. Still thinks one of us is female; and now with an information breach about their relationship...Alice is thinking it's Kowalski!"

Marlene's eyes opened wide at this, as she, too, began to get worked up.

"WHAT? They...They can't do that! I mean, yeah, they can- but poor guys! Skipper, what are you going to do?"

"That's just it- I DON'T KNOW! It's all just a big mess! The boys are taking this real hard, Kowalski especially, and we can't even think up options. The team is slipping already!" The penguin let go of his woman's hand, as he began pacing the room once more. "Can't snuff out the zookeepers, Alice already told her bosses her suspicions. Can't just pack up and leave, going into hiding under new aliases- I'm wanted in half of the continents, and I'd end up missing your smile too much…"

Skipper ceased his walking back and forth, as he turned back to the habitat's owner. With a grim look upon his face, the avian commander pointed a flipper at his girlfriend.

"That's where YOU come in, Marlene. Look, there aren't many I'd trust with this- but we're desperate! We need a fresh point of view so we can even THINK of anything, let alone go out and DO it. So…" A pause, as the harsh expression on the penguin's face turned to desperation. "Marlene, what are our options?"

A smile slowly crept across the otter's face. "You're asking me for options? You're asking for my advice? The great, fearless leader, is asking me for-"

"Oops, yeah, changed my mind." Skipper cut in, already headed for the exit. Marlene made haste to block his path.

"Whoa, wait, okay, I'm sorry. I actually do have an idea, though. If, you'd like to hear it."

The look his girlfriend was giving him forced a smirk to pull at the corners of his beak. "I'm all ear holes."

"Good! Okay, so, I was thinking... get this... charity. You know, like donations." she replied hopefully. Skipper's smirk melted into a frown as he fixed her with a stern stare, and Marlene's heart sank.

"First of all, Marlene, only hippies ask for handouts. Second of all..." and he was pacing again. "What could anyone in the zoo possibly have that would be worth anything?"

Marlene stood in his path again, hoping to and succeeding at making him stop pacing. It was making her antsy. "Okaaay, you make a valid point, but what if you set up outside of the zoo? We'll get you a fancy red bucket like those Santa guys have around the holidays, and... I don't know, I'm sure you'll think of something to get people to donate. It is the season for giving, after all!"

The otter could feel Skipper's rebuttal coming, and reached out to gently hold his beak shut while she continued. "And it's okay to ask for help every once in awhile! See, you're doing it right now, it's not so bad! And besides... Kowalski's fate could depend on it."

The penguin went a little cross-eyed for a moment, as he glared at the hands over his beak. However, the look melted off his face as he continued to listen to his girlfriend's words. He closed his eyes, as he sighed. Gently pushing the otter's hands off of his mouth, he turned his head away as he tried speaking once more.

"I don't like it." A pause, as he couldn't believe what he was about to say. "But what other choice do we have? Alright, we'll try it YOUR way. But just know I'm only being persuaded because you're pretty."

Marlene couldn't help but snort slightly at the joke, even as she leaned in closer to her man. She placed a kiss on top of his beak, before smirking.

"Duly noted."

Chapter Text

The penguins woke to a cloudy morning. Predictions of rain- given by channel 1's very own Gill Forge- were not enough to deter the team's leader, as he and his squad had much to do. Skipper had turned to his men, first thing in the morning, and told them what was on the agenda.

"Alright, soldiers, hope you're all rested- we got work to do! Rico, we need a bucket. Preferably red. But if you can't find one that color, then we'll MAKE it that color. Private, break out your sewing kit! We need three penguin sized elf hats, and one human sized one representing Big Red himself. And Kowalski! ...We're gonna need a sign. And I know two literate chimps who can help us. You know your missions, now everybody move out!"

The three penguin soldiers saluted. Private turned and headed off for his sewing kit he kept under his pillow, while humming to himself; it wasn't often a mission called for him to do something like this.

Kowalski was half way up the ladder when he stopped and looked back down at Skipper. "So uh... what should the sign say, exactly, Skipper?"

Skipper shrugged, a cool, relaxed smile on his face. "Surprise me!"

Kowalski raised a brow. "Oh... kay?" and he continued up the ladder, until he was gone.

Skipper turned back to the only penguin who hadn't actually gone anywhere. He gave Rico a look that said "Well?"

Rico stared at his leader blankly for a short moment, and then, "Oh! Way'mit."

A metal pail shot out of Rico's gut, and clanged to the floor at Skipper's feet. The bucket of red paint that followed, Rico caught, and he held it up triumphantly. "Ta-daah!"

Skipper grinned wide, and chuckled, picking up the pail. "Alright, Rico! Good job man, I mean, really. You get the award for quickest mission objective completed! Or, you would, if there was one. But seriously, good job!"

"Whooo! Yeah, go me!" Rico cheered.

It was past one when all of the needed equipment was gathered. Kowalski, the only one who had left the base that morning, came back with the needed sign. He had to come through one of the many secret entrances, the main hatch not large enough to fit the painted cardboard without ruining it. He came up from the hidden elevator, a bit of a wheeze heard as he stumbled out. Apparently the analyst had gotten caught in an updraft on the way back, and had needed to catch the thing before it flew away from good.

Skipper had merely looked it over and asked what the heck it said, though the crudely drawn penguins on it gave him an idea.

"Well, it says 'Save the Penguins'. I wanted something else, but Mason suggested that this was the way to go."

"Oh yeah? What did you want it to say?"

"'Oh please, oh please, donate the needed funds- I'm desperate!'" The scientist paused as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Though, in hindsight, my title probably was too long for a sign, anyway."

The last to get themselves together was the youngest member of the team. With a smile, he proudly held up the last hat- the Santa cap- as he handed it over to the avian commander. Clutching it in one flipper, he used the other to slap one of the elf hats onto his head. He looked towards his men, full of confidence, as he puffed out his chest and declared;

"Move out, boys- times to see just how giving this city REALLY is!"

Roger inwardly and outwardly cringed as he failed to catch his vase before it hit the ground, and it shattered. King Julien was already off, playing with something else, completely ignorant to the property he'd just destroyed.

The alligator sighed sadly; he'd really liked that one. Fetching the dustpan and broom, he swept it up, and deposited the remains in the trash with the rest of the thing the royal lemur had destroyed during his visit.

"Um... King Julien?" Roger spoke up, forcing a smile... and it was very forced by this point.

The fuzzy mammal turned to the one who'd addressed him, instantly growing bored with the tiny glass dog he'd been holding, carelessly tossing it over his shoulder, where it smashed against the wall. "Yes?"

Roger swallowed down his... was that anger? Heavens, no; it couldn't be that. He wasn't sure what it was, but he swallowed it nonetheless.

"Right. KING Julien, not that I haven't enjoyed your visit, because I have! But... don't you think it's time you go back home? To your kingdom? Don't you think the other lemurs miss their king?"

Back at the lemur habitat, Maurice hummed to himself as he lay on the lawn chair, above the heating vent, sipping hot cocoa he'd gotten from Roger before they'd left. Ah, now this, he could get used to.

Mort sat at the base of the throne, huddled up and shivering, from the cold, just as much as the mental breakdown he was currently having.

"Do not be being silly!" scoffed Julien. "EVERY part of the zoo is my kingly kingdom!"

Besides, nothing was going to get the lemur to part this newly discovered cave of warmth.

"And," he added, jumping up to hang off of the alligator's snout. "we still haven't gotten you your pretty lady friend!"

"Yeah, about that. We STILL don't know if they're really a-"

"Look, are you wanting to be courting them or not?"

Roger dropped his broom, as he held up his claws in defense.

"Alright, okay...Um, what exactly are you thinking we should do next? The last plan didn't really go through so well." The reptile cringed as he recalled the embarrassment. " Not that I'm doubting you, your highness, but I just REALLY don't want to go through something like THAT again- oh GOODness no!"

"Yeah, no kidding," Julien frowned as he recalled the event himself. "Stupidy penguins. But luckily they are saying they are with de busy-ness! So that means they won't be ruining any more of my ingenius planings. Like THIS one!"

Before Roger could stop him, the royal lemur jumped onto his back before scurrying up to his shoulder. Putting out his finger like a director, viewing the scheme he was visioning in his head, the alligator couldn't bring himself to hide his nervous frown.

"Now, Gatory-one, be picturing dis: Who is the most popular guy being in da zoo?"

The large reptile thought it over for a moment, before smiling.

"Oh! I know this one! It's Private, the humans just LOVE him! With his happy little dances, and his cute smiles. Not to MENTION how adorable he is when he-OW! Hey!"

Julien glared, waving his hand he had used to slap his host.

"Uh, NO, you are being COMPLETELY in the wrong! Like, so wrong it isn't even being right at all!" He cleared his throat. "*I* am being de most popular one. And you know WHY your king is being de most popular?"

'Well, it's obviously not from your social skills' Roger couldn't help but think. But he held his tongue as he tried to answer politely. "Oh, well, no. I can honestly say I haven't the faintest idea why that might be."

Julien smiled; that was just what Roger was supposed to say.

"It is de bossyness! De rudeness! De ignoring dem-ness! Trust me; de ladies eat it right up."

The alligator gaped at the lemur on his shoulder. "What? You're saying people actually enjoy being treated badly? They like being ignored, and having their things broken?"

Roger was shot a glare, and he laughed nervously. "Eh heh heh. Not that, I'm completely adverse to any of that. Or anything. It's just... is that really necessary? I don't like being mean."

And Pinky certainly didn't deserve to be treated badly, thought Roger.

Julien snorted. "Yeah sure. But be answering dis question; who of us has de most girlfriends, hm?"

"You have a girlfriend? I had no idea! Good for you! Oh, what's her name? Is she nice? Oh! Does she enjoy knitting?"

The lemur king froze, then coughed. "Uh... there are so many of dem, dat it would take me-leven billion YEARS to name dem all, so you know. Ignoring dat question for now. But de answer to de question that I asked, is ME. I have more girlfriends den you have, so it must be you who is doing it wrongly!"

Roger remained silent as he thought it over. Maybe Julien had a point... maybe he was doing it wrong.

"But, oh, I don't even know the first thing about being nasty! The meanest I've ever been was the one time I accidentally stubbed my foot on the table leg. And even THEN, I apologized to the table afterwards!"

"DAT, is where I will be doing de coming in! See, I am the best at being the jerk-kind of people. Comes with de krown, you know. So I will be teaching you everything I know!"

Roger, in all honesty, didn't like the sound of that. What very little the king had in his head just seemed foul and would turn just anyone rotten. However, after the pickup lines incident, it wasn't like this could go any worse. And, oh, he really WAS on the desperate side.

"Well, alright King Julien." The reptile bent over to pick up his broom he had dropped earlier- he felt like he needed to do some serious cleaning in order to make him feel less dirty about how low he was sinking- as he continued. "I suppose I can give it a try. Couldn't hurt, right?"

The lemur clapped his hands eagerly.

"Yes, dat is pleasing your king! I swear to you, on de sky spirits, that dis plan will be getting you your lady friend!" Julien paused as he looked up and down his cold-blooded host with a frown. "But first, I am thinking you might need to be changing your image to something less...You. You wouldn't happen to have any black leather, would you?"

Nor for the first time, and it most likely wouldn't be the last, Roger felt an unease come over him.

Yeah, okay, he should REALLY look into learning how to say "no".

A few blocks away from the park, Grand Central Terminal was busy and loud with the foot traffic of New Yorkers trying to get to where they needed to go. Some folks needed to go shopping, some had business matters they needed to attend to. And even still, others were just trying to get home.

It was outside the terminal where the penguins decided to set up camp. Though it was far too hot for a real snowman, the weeble-wobble birds had been lucky enough to acquire a store's snowman display that had been carelessly left outside and forgotten. But their loss was the flightless fowls' game, as they took it with them to their destination.

Said snowman, plastic and thankfully already hollow on the inside, now stood outside, its eyes cut out, alone with a hole on each side of its upper torso, where two sticks poked through for arms. Skipper's own eyes peered out of where the snowman's plastic coal eyes used to be.

Private and Kowalski were dancing and being generally adorable in front of their sign, the bucket sat on the other side of the plastic ruse. They'd already garnered quite a bit of attention, and had received even more non-direct compliments regarding their cuteness than they usually did in one day at the zoo. The metal bucket was proof, as it was already just about half filled with cash... and a chew toy from a friendly passing dog on a leash.

Which was a much more thoughtful donation than what some of the other passing dogs had left.

Kowalski waddled within whispering distance of the snowman. "I still don't understand why I'm out here, Skipper..."

"You're doing great! And you're the closest thing we have to cute, after Private. I'm more the hero type, and Rico... Rico's more pants-wettingly terrifying than cute. Besides! I needed him for arm-duty."

Just then, a mother and her little boy came up and admired the adorable little birds, and worrying sign. They weren't quite sure which penguins needed saving or why... was this an adoption agency? Did these penguins need homes? The poor things. They certainly had no place for pet penguins, but the least they could do was donate.

The woman tossed some cash into the bucket, while her kid eyed the snowman warily. "That's a really creepy snowman, mom. I think it's looking at me."

The child's hand was taken by his mother, and as they walked by, one of the snowman's stick-arms swung back and smacked the kid in the back of the head.

"Ow! Mom, that creepy snowman just hit me!"

"Honestly, Johnathan, what have I told you about making up stories?"

A short moment later and they were gone.

"Heh heh." said the Snowman.

"Rico!" Skipper cried from inside the display, as he turned to him with a glare. "No more messing with the civilians. We NEED them, remember?"

"Sowwy, Skipper." The explosives expert grumbled, before smiling again as he noted the scent of fish in the air. Like a magnet attracted to metal, his body snapped to attention as the penguin's eyes landed on a poor schmuck walking by with his lunchbox. Obvious a construction worker, and off to his work site, he didn't pay any mind to the snowman or the cute and cuddly antics.

Rico, however, noticed him as he ooed. Grinning mischievously, he laughed to himself as he raised the arms to try and snatch up the boxed goods before the man was out of reach. He was stopped, however, by a rough slap to the side of his head. nearly dropping the arm, he turned to his leader and glared.

'EY, c'mon 'an…Wuzzat for?"

"I SAID leave the civilians alone. Mission, THINK about the mission. Do you WANT to be separated from lover boy over there?" He pointed a flipper to Kowalski- whom they could see through their eyeholes, as he was doing his strange wiggle dance for a group of nuns who had stopped to see the show. " We don't have TIME for games."

The hefty penguin looked over at the analyst, when he felt a sudden heavy sense of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Kowalski...they were doing this for him. So they could not only remain a team, a family...but so Rico wouldn't lose the man he loved. This was serious- and he should start acting like it.

Skipper seemed to tell that his words hit home, as he gave a small nod. Turning back towards the men outside, he yelled so they could hear him.

"Good work, boys! Now hit the ladies with the ol' eskimo kisses routine. The humans ALWAYS eat it up!"

Kowalski could be heard groaning, and the leader smiled. Just because it was a serious mission didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy making the scientist embarrass himself.

Meanwhile, just across the street was a very miserable man in a hairnet and arms deep in a sink full of dirty water. X- ex-animal control, zookeeper, fishmonger, storeclerk, and security guard- was now known as Dishwasher X. Sure, he was working in a great establishment- Cipriani Le Specialita being one of THE places to find Italian food at affordable prices- but he still couldn't help but feel miserable as he took out a plate and looked at his own reflection.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen…"

How had he gotten here, he couldn't help but wonder. He was a skilled man. He was the best in his field- who else could look a horde of skunks dead in the eyes and get out of it completely reek-free? Who did the city call, years ago, during the great ferret disaster of '82? Who? Officer X, that was who! He was practically a god among animal control men- nobody could do the job he could!

The african-american sighed, before placing the plate onto the clean pile with its brethren. That was the thing...WAS. He WAS a god, and now he had been kicked off of Mount Olympus with all the rest of humanity. And it was then when he realized he wasn't so good in the real world- in a world beyond catching wild animals. He couldn't cook, he wasn't great with finances...since losing his well paying job he had learned just how much he actually didn't know.

"It's all because of those penguins," he mumbled to himself as he finished cleaning off another plate. "I had it good until they had to go and wreck everything…"

Penguins hadn't only ruined his life; they'd completely taken over his life. Since meeting those crafty birds, he hadn't gone a single day without seeing them everywhere, hadn't gone a single night without dreaming of them... on nights he'd been able to sleep, anyway. There were even days X swore he could smell them ...

Come to think of it, he was smelling them right now. The scent was faint, but...

X sniffed the air... and unlike many times before, the odor didn't vanish. He wasn't imagining it this time, he was sure-

A bubble from the dish water floated up and was inhaled with another sniff, causing X to sneeze. But that wasn't going to deter him!

The dishes were forgotten as he made his way through the back kitchen door, out into the dining area, sniffing the whole way, following the scent. More than a few customers stopped to watch him warily. What a weirdo.

Soon X was pressed up against the large glass window at the restaurant's front, and peered out onto the overcast scene outside. His vision instantly honed in on the display outside of the terminal across the street. But it wasn't the plastic snowman that had caught his eye; it was the penguins dancing at its base.

X chuckled darkly to himself. "Well now, it looks like this just might be a Merry Christmas for me, after all..."

He was still chuckling as he flew out the door, completely forgetting he was supposed to be doing the dishes. A quick trip to his van rewarded him with a large net he carried with him always, and a stun gun for good measure.

"I'm sure they'll find this shocking," the man chuckled to himself.

The penguins wouldn't know what hit them.

Private was all smiles as he continued to absorb the cooing and compliments he and his older teammate were getting. This was what the lad lived for. Sure, being an agent with the rest of his penguin posse was fun and all...but he was a people bird! He loved the affection the humans gave him and his friends, he loved when little old ladies would scratch under his chin. He loved the children that tried to snuggle them as they went by. Nothing made him happier than being out with all the people!

Really, his had to have been their best mission yet….outside of the Winky factory, of course. But that hardly counted on the same level of things...those were peanut butter winkies!

The lad was jolted from his thoughts, as he heard his leader call to him from his snowman base.

"Private! Stop the daydreaming, and give me more butt wiggling. Those tail feathers aren't gonna shake themselves!"

Private found himself smiling at the word "butt", but held himself together. The sound of the avian commander's voice said this wasn't the time for laughs...even if the word WAS hilarious.

"Aye-aye, Skipper! I'll be sure to give them everything my...snrrk, butt has! Hehe."

Thus wiggling proceeded. He and Kowalski had their rears towards the audience as they waved their fluffy bottoms at the cooing citizens. The two penguins were so in the zone, that none of them noticed an ominous shadow that loomed over their flightless selves.

"Well well well," a deep familiar voice said, " 'save the penguins', huh? I'd be glad to find them a new home...BEYOND BARS."

Both penguins froze mid-waggle, and looked up, gasping when they saw...

"It's Officer X!" Private yelled, stating the obvious. "Or... Something-X."

"ABORT MISSION, I REPEAT; ABORT THE MISSION!" the snowman called out, just before it was swung at X. The lightweight, hollow plastic was swatted away easily enough, but it provided enough of a distraction for the four penguins to slide away- with the pail of cash riding atop Rico's back.

The man of course gave chase- right into the street, where he was nearly plowed down by two trucks and a car, but he'd hardly noticed. On the other side of the street, a snow cone cart crashed to the sidewalk as X stormed by, catching sight of the penguins rounding a corner just up ahead.

Skipper held back a tear that threatened to fall; why did it have to be the snow cone cart? Why was it always the innocent ones who fell first in battle?

X rounded the corner himself, only to see an empty street... empty of penguins, anyway. He looked around and gave a low grumble. Where had they gotten to now?

Four penguins watched silently from above, clinging to a street lamp, about a yard above their pursuer's head. The flightless birds had their flippers and webbed feet wrapped around the lamp, as the bucket perched itself on the very top. It wobbled a little, but thankfully was doing a good job with its balancing act. However, a sudden gust of wind was just enough to make the bucket begin to tip. Rico, being the one in charge of it, began to feel a sense of panic. Working on instincts alone, he lunged for the handle and jerked the bucket of currency to prevent it from falling and alerting the human under them.

While the weapons expert was able to prevent the fall, he was NOT able to stop the coins from clacking and making noise. X, being a trained professional and honed in on his surroundings, found his head jerking upwards as he smirked triumphantly.

"BINGO. How very de-CENT of you to tell me where you birds were!"

"We've been spotted! Initiate plan: TSAHH!"

T.S.A.H.H was one of Skipper's most elaborate plans, one he had spent months just thinking up the very NAME for it alone. When broken down, it means: "throw stuff at his head". This made Rico smile, as that meant it was HIS moment to shine. Throwing the bucket to the member next to him- this being Kowalski who ended up catching it and smacking himself into the pole as his legs held on- the hefty bird threw his head back as he regurgitated just as the human was springing up to catch them.

X cried out in pain as he smacked in the face by a heavy lamp- its striped shade falling off as the object bounced off the african-american's skull.

Taking full use of the distraction, the penguins leaped from the light pole, hitting the ground on a belly slide, barely avoiding X's net, before zipping around another corner. By the time X had made it around the corner, they'd ducked into an alleyway, pressed themselves against the brick wall in the darkness... and waited.

After a few moments of silence, Kowalski tilted his head closer to Rico. "Was that the same lamp you..."

Rico smirked. "Yup."

"How long has that been in there, man?!" Kowalski whispered back in mild horror.

"Um..." Rico gave it a moment's thought before giving up. "I 'unno." he replied with a shrug.

"Will you two zip your beaks? What part of hiding alludes you, huh?" hissed Skipper. This quieted those two, but the silence didn't last long.

"Um... Skipper?" came Private's voice from beside him. Skipper threw a sharp look down at his youngest recruit, only to see him looking up at him, his flippers over his beak, and a look of mild discomfort on his face.

"What is it, Private? The shhh-ing goes for you, too, y'know!"

"I know, I'm sorry! It's just... did anyone else get a whiff of that horrible smell?" questioned Private, prompting the other three to sniff the air.

"Well yeah, Private, but we're in New York. In a stinking, festering, alleyway. ... In New York." the leader of the penguin squad said, as if that alone explained the horrible smell.

"Not to mention the fact we ARE hiding next to a dumpster." Kowalski added, as he pointed to the trash across from them.

"No no, I'm used to THAT smell." Private said, as he continued to hold his beak. "It's something different. Something...more foul. Yuck!"

The leader was about to tell the lad to suck it up, a little stench didn't hurt anybody, when he was alerted by the sound of footsteps coming back around and running their direction. Skipper whipped his head back to the dumpster, where he noticed a pile of boxes next to them. Perfect for a hiding place.

"Looks like you're about to get real acquainted with it, soldier, because X is coming back!"

The penguins dashed over to the boxes, their commander leading them, when they were honestly surprised to see that the boxes were occupied by someone else. A raggedy human, with a long grey beard, was currently laying down shivering as he appeared to be trying to find sleep. The penguins didn't have much time to stare, however, as they could hear their foe coming ever closer. Going by instinct, the boys jumped behind the boxes and the slumbering bum just as X made his way to the alley.

"I know I smelled them down here. Even the stench of garbage can't hide you….penguins...from my hot fury! So you better come out, with your flippers up, and just hand yourselves over."

The old man in the box was ripped from his slumber as the cardboard flap that served as his door was yanked open, and suddenly he was ensnared in a large net. Well, part of him was; the net wasn't quite human-sized.

The man screamed. X yelped in surprise, stumbling backward, tripping over a box and ended up on his tush. The man screamed again, and X scrambled to remove the net from the agitated vagabond, apologizing profusely.

When the man quit screaming, and X had gotten back to his feet, the dishwasher apologized one more time, before adding, "I don't suppose you've seen any... penguins around here?"

"... Penguins?" The man's face clouded, and then crumbled into an expression of rage. "Oh, I get it." he began slowly, crawling out of his home, then standing up to face the looming behemoth that had netted him. "Just because I'm a bum... that automatically makes me crazy, does it? You think it's funny? Hah?! Do ya?!"

The self-proclaimed bum was, by this point, on his toes, stretching up until he was just about face-to-face with X. The smell rolling off of the unkempt man had X stepping back, his hand going up to cover his nose. "No, sir, I assure you, I don't think you're-"

"Get out! Out! Go on, get! I'll call the cops! ... I ain't got a phone, sure, but I c'n YELL real loud! You just WATCH me!"

X was a strong man, he had a stone-cold resolve. But what X did not have, was a positive standing with the police force of NY. So when the bum began screaming for the cops at the top of his lungs, X made himself scarce, slipping out of the alley, grabbing the hairnet he'd forgotten he was wearing from his head, crumpling it up, and throwing it to the ground in a fit of frustration, as he stomped back toward the restaurant.

Back in the alley, the vagabond's yelling turned into a violent coughing fit, and the mucus he spat out had an alarming red hue to it. Wrapping his arms around himself against the bitter cold, he began mumbling to himself.

"I ain't crazy. I ain't got no money, or a house, and I sure as the dickens ain't got my health, but my mind's still sharp. I ain't crazy."

The penguins, who had witnessed this whole exchange continued to remain silent as they watched the human who had inadvertently saved them from their foe. The man's back was to them, as the four peeked out from behind the boxes. Private had quickly realized this human was the smell he had getting queasy over, as he continued to hold his beak. That didn't prevent him from being sympathetic, however.

"Skipper...that man doesn't look like he's feeling so good."

"No...no he doesn't, Private." Skipper turned to his analyst as he pointed a flipper towards the human. "What's his deal, Kowalski?"

The tallest member of the group looked the homeless man over again, as he began coughing once more. Kowalski noted the red hue in the man's phlegm, as he then wiped it on the ground next to him. With a tilt of his head, he rubbed his chin in contemplation.

"Well, obviously he is experiencing Hemoptysis. That's bloody mucus,"he added, as he noted the blank expressions." With his condition, and the weather, I can only assume pneumonia and/or bronchitis. Most likely caused by his...less than ideal lifestyle."

These large, scary sounding words made the youngest soldier uneasy.

"He'll be alright, won't he?"

"With proper treatment? Right as rain?"

"And without proper treatment?"

Kowalski frowned as he tried to think of a delicate way to phrase what he was about to say.

"He'll be as dead as a doorknob….Probably."

Private gasped. That...that was horrible! There were really people living outside the zoo like this? Why...he was used to, whenever he was being treated, automatically getting the help he needed. But this poor old man? He looked like he hadn't been feeling well for a REALLY long time! They...they couldn't just let something bad happen to him! Not after what he just did for them!

"Skipper! We…" The lad paused, as he let go of his beak and looked determinedly at his commanding officer. "We should really do something!"

Skipper shrugged and shook his head. "Not much we can do, Private. Just let nature take its course. That's her job! Weed out the weak, only the strong survive, you get the picture."

Rico nodded in agreement.

Although the meaning behind Skipper's words were as tough as a commanding officer's were expected to be, Private could almost sense he hadn't meant a word he'd just said. He knew what they had to do. He was just as worried, and was feeling just as guilty, as Private was. Well, maybe not quite as much. But it was something.

The youngest recruit gave Skipper a pleading look. "Skipper..."

Skipper's resolve crumbled, and he sighed in defeat, pulling out the elf hat Private had made for him, and placing it on his own head. "Yeah, fine. Suit up, boys, it's time for Operation: Santa's Little Helpers."

Private smiled wide, and clapped. "Yay!"

Rico and Kowalski, however, did not share the excitement.

"What?!" cried Rico.

"I have to agree with Rico on this one, Skipper; what?! After all that, are you really going to do what I think you're going to do?"

Their leader was giving them a rather disappointed glare. "Kowalski, you said it yourself; the guy's as good as kaput without medical treatment! Do you really want this man's bloody mucus on your flippers? Well, do ya?"

"But...But...SKIPPER! What about-" The scientist's words were cut short by the squatty penguin's glower intensifying. Kowalski found himself sighing, not believing what he was about to say. "...What about the fact it's the right thing to do, and it IS the season for helping others?"

Skipper smiled.

"Bingo! That's the spirit! Now hats, boys. We got some holiday miracles to make!"

Chester E. Davis was once a well off man. He would never say his life was perfect- whose was? However, he would say that his life was comfortable. He had a place to live, he had enough food in his fridge so that he never went hungry, and his job was well enough that he didn't ever worry about whether he would be able to pay the bills that month. He was merely an accountant; and a very content one, at that.

Things changed for the african-american after the crash on Wall Street. At first it had not effected him or his wallet too much. He still had his job, why would he need to worry? However...mere months after the incident, the insurance firm let him and many other workers ago. While upsetting- when isn't losing your job upsetting?- Chester felt safe, financially, all the same. He had planned for events like this. Rainy day funds were what his momma would have called them, but to him is was just smart banking. So he had his money, and he would continue to live as he searched for a new job. He was an accountant...Everybody needs accountants!

Months went by, every day he would search and search for a new job. He checked online, he checked the newspapers. Soon, as his funds depleted and he started to become desperate, Chester Davis would look beyond accounting professions and look at any job he could find. Jobs like serving coffee at Starbucks and flipping burgers at McDonald's became integrated with his job search as he just needed SOMETHING so he could continue scraping by. But everywhere he went, his answer was the same:

"You are a little too qualified for the job."

"Aren't you a little too old to be applying for jobs that college kids want?"

The man wanted to shout at them- of course he was! He was much too good for those places; yet, it didn't stop him from trying. He needed SOMETHING, after all! Everyday money was becoming less and less, and everyday Chester was becoming more and more anxious as a sense of impending doom loomed over his head. His fears had been justified, as less than two years after the crash he found that there was nothing left in his accounts.

It didn't take long for the african-american to get kicked out of his apartment, and thrown penniless into the streets.

And on the streets he'd remained, and when the far away look in his eyes vanished, his moment of self-reflection coming to an end, he was still standing in the stinking alley he'd called his home ever since.

Chester sighed and turned to retreat back into his box, and froze. Standing at his feet were four small penguins in little green elf hats. Huh, he thought. Maybe he was a little crazy.

Chester watched in a state of disbelief and awe, as the smallest one shoved a bright red bucket over to him, before dashing back to join his friends. Chester continued to watch as all four gave a salute, flipped onto their stomachs, and in an instant, the ex-accountant was once again alone in the alley.

Bending down, Chester took the pail in his shaking old hands, and peered inside. A genuine smile spread across the man's face, and he began to laugh. "Well, I'll be! Santa's been looking out for 'ol Chester!"

The laughter continued, as he danced in the alley, a million thoughts spinning around in his mind at once. All of the possibilities... sure, there wasn't a fortune in this little bucket, but it provided him with the only things he'd ever asked for; another chance, another option, hope.

Chester E. Davis was sure of two things at that moment; that everything was going to be alright, and that it was all because of four little Christmas miracles.

Chapter Text

By the time the huddle of penguins reached the Central Park Zoo, the sun had already set. The zoo, itself, had just barely closed its gates from the public for the night, when the team made it to their base. Skipper landed in first, and instantly shook his body once inside the shelter. Little droplets gave small plopping noises, one after the other, as the avian commander tried to dry himself from the rain.

"Huh...whatdya know, Gill Forge was right! Good thing I didn't bet on THAT one."

Private was next to enter HQ, right behind Skipper, miming the commander's shake to rid himself of the excess moisture that still clung to his feathers. Rico was close to follow, and then Kowalski.

Rico glared up at his mohawk, and although he couldn't actually see it, he could feel it limp and clinging to his head, and not like a mohawk at all. He grumbled as he took his flipper and mussed with it, until it sprung back up in its natural dishevelled formation. Satisfied, he grinned. "'Aye, 'ats 'etter."

Kowalski was still dripping wet, and showed no indication he was planning on doing anything about it, as he made his way inside, slouched over, an unreadable expression on his face. His webbed feet made wet, slapping sounds with each step he took across the concrete floor.

The analyst suddenly found himself wrapped up in a towel, as someone began rubbing it over his neck and the back of his head, roughly.

"Rico, I am perfectly capable of drying myself, thank you." Kowalski mumbled, turning to face him. Rico merely smiled back, completely unphased by the glare he was under. The shorter bird waited only a second, before taking a corner of the towel, and wiping a droplet of water off of Kowalski's beak.

Kowalski snatched the towel from Rico's flipper. "Give me that!"

"Heheheheh." Rico chuckled.

Kowalski felt a faint smile pulling at the corners of his beak, and he turned away to go sit at the table, bringing the towel with him. He wasn't in the mood for smiling. He was moping here.

He sat and dried himself off, as he listened to Skipper and Private across the room, mostly due to not having a choice in such close proximity.

"Did you see the way he smiled, Skipper?" Private questioned, excitedly.

"Sure did, Private, I sure did. That was a good call back there, Soldier; feel proud!"

Private was obviously embarrassed now, but still grinning. "Well, I don't know about that... but he sure did look happy."

Skipper gently slapped the young recruit on the back. "I'd say he's going to have the first good Christmas he's had in a long time."

From across the room, the chair clattered to the floor, as Kowalski stood up in a fury.

"We GET it! We were all there! We all witnessed it happen, WHAT is the POINT of this redundant recap?!"

The other three just gaped at Kowalski, whom was a little out of breath from his outburst.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's with the sudden Ba-humbug attitude, Kowalski?" questioned Skipper.

"'Attitude'?" Kowalski felt his blood boiling in his veins- although he knew it was scientifically impossible. The tallest put up his flippers to do air quotes to the horrid word. "So you want to know where this 'attitude" is coming from? OH, I'll TELL you where this 'ATTITUDE' is coming from! You gave away our money, Skipper! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!"

While Private found himself shuddering from the temper's flare, the leading officer didn't even flinch as he crossed his flippers and stood his ground.

"Made a decision as the commander of this unit, and helped out a human civilian that not only needed it, but also helped our sorry tail feathers?"

"NO!" A pause. "Well, yes, technically. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! We...We NEEDED it! …*I* needed it!"

The analyst went silent as he clenched his flippers into tight balls. He found himself unleashing a growl as Kowalski forced himself up from the table.

"They're going to send me away," he uttered out with calm anger, before unleashing his stronger fury. "To HOBOKEN. They are going to send me to the very location where EVERYONE we've ever wronged is. They're going to take me from my HOME, away from my lab...Away from everything I've known. Away from you guys...AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE!"

It was Skipper's turn to glare this time, as his own anger started bubbling forth.

"Now hold the phone, KOWALSKI, don't you be telling ME I don't care! Why do you think we pulled that stunt off in the FIRST place? You know the penguin code, we don't swim alone. No man gets left behind, or sent away. So don't you DARE say none of us care! I get you got your pretty panties all twisted over this, times have been hard- but I am STILL your leader and WON'T have you acting like this."

This was enough to have the scientist seeing red, as he proceeded to flip the table- knocking off its miscellaneous contents. This was enough to startled everyone, as even the tougher soldiers flinched back. Kowalski roared.

"Oh, TO HECK WITH YOUR 'LEADER' BULLMALARKEY! This isn't about CODES. This isn't about COMMAND. THIS is my LIFE!" The penguin's deep rumble turned to a hurt squeak as his blue eyes spoke of pain under his anger. "We had it, Skipper, we had the money. Sure, it wasn't enough to solve all our problems...But it was enough to stall- it was enough to give us more time until we thought of a better solution. And...AND YOU GAVE IT ALL AWAY TO SOMEBODY YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! You helped a STRANGER before you helped your own FRIEND."

Skipper felt himself cooling down, as he looked sympathetically at his soldier. He was beginning to see the root of the sudden blow up. The flightless commander took a step forward, as he raised a flipper to comfort the analyst.

"It was the right thing to do. We still have time, you're going to be fine. We will get more money."

Kowalski flinched away from the flipper, as his glower intensified.

"And what if we don't? I just...UGH!" The penguin found himself throwing his arms upward, as he turned away. "SWEET EPINEPHRINE! I can't DEAL with this right now. I can't deal with YOU!"

Kowalski started stomping towards his laboratory door, even before any of the others could stop him.

Private and Rico both flinched as the laboratory door slammed shut. Skipper merely shook his head. The fact that his professional soldiers had the capability for such emotional tantrums, still managed to amaze him.

Rico's gaze shifted from the door, to the back of Skipper's head, where it hardened into a glare. His own rage began boiling in his gut - where most of Rico's emotions seemed to take place- and he'd had to use what little self-control he possessed not to spit up a baseball bat and commit the blasphemous act of mutiny. This was Skipper's fault. Rico preferred when it had been his fault.

Skipper could almost feel the psychopathic rage radiating from behind him, and half-turned to look at Rico, who met his glare, and grumbled something under his breath, before turning and stomping away to his bunk, kicking an empty tuna tin across the room as he did so.

The commanding officer turned to his private, expectantly. Two soldiers turned on him, one to go. But Private didn't look angry; in truth, he looked like a kicked puppy.

"Skipper..." his youngest soldier squeaked. "I think this is my fault."

In an instant, Skipper was next to him, a flipper around his shoulders. "This is no one's fault, Private. We did the right thing back there, you made the right call. We may have saved a civilian's life back there, and above all, that is our number one objective. End of story!"

A smile flashed across Private's beak, but vanished immediately. "I know that, Skipper, but..." he glanced over at the lab door. "what about Kowalski?"

Skipper groaned and left Private's side, throwing up his flippers. "Where is all of this doubt coming from, all of a sudden? We are not a bunch of nay-saying doubters! We will get the money, Private. And Kowalski is fine; he throws these tantrums all the time, you know that. He'll hole himself up in his lab, invent some ridiculous science-y thing, it'll inevitably explode, and everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be."

This time, Private did better to keep the smile up as he looked up at his commanding officer, but it wasn't a real smile. "Oh, yes, you're probably right. I was just being a silly-billy with all of my doubting, and worry. Still... if it's all the same to you, Skippa..." Private turned toward the hatch leading outside. "I think I'd fancy taking a walk. It's... a little stuffy down here tonight."

Skipper was about to protest, but Private was right; the dark mood that hung heavy in the air was a little overwhelming. Or, well, overwhelming for the likes of Private; Skipper could handle much worse! With his flippers tied behind his back!

"Alright, fine, go ahead. But no leaving the zoo! And be back before Lights Out, do I make myself clear?"

Private saluted, though not very enthusiastically.

"Aye-aye, Skipper."

And with that the youngest penguin made his way to the hatch...before doubling back to get his umbrella. No reason to catch a cold, after all. Skipper watched him leave, before turning back to the overturned table and mess.

"Good kid, " he mumble fondly, " now if only the others were as agreeable…"

The rain continued its soft melody, and as far as Private could tell wasn't planning on letting up anytime soon. The youth waddled along, throwing a wave to the few other animals he passed along the way, as he mostly focused on the pitter-patter of the water hitting his umbrella.

To him, even the rain sounded sad.

He had done right. He knew this. Even Skipper confirmed the notion made by the lad was the right call. Then if it was so right...why did it feel so wrong? Why was his friends' feelings overpowering the good deed?

Because Kowalski also had a valid point: Kowalski's pain was just as important as the polite old vagabond's. And in some ways...even more so because of how personal the team's bond was.

"But...Kowalski said the man could die!" Private stopped his waddling, as he clutched the umbrella closer to himself. "We couldn't just leave him there when we could help him. That's our job! We HELP people! ...And I still don't feel completely better about the fact, do I?"

The youth was startled from his thoughts by the rain pouring down harder. It seemed the weather had decided to get nasty, and the young soldier contemplated just going back home. The last thing he wanted was to get caught in a violent downpour. Yet...he wasn't quite ready to return to the base either. Barely any time at all had passed since he left, and he was sure the place would still feel heavy with tension...And he had enough of the tension from the last month long cold war among the team to not look forward to going back so soon.

Private looked around, taking in his surroundings. That was when he noted he was just outside the reptile house. The lad's eyes lit up as he recalled the zoo's guest, and how Savio had been feeling under the weather.

"Maybe Savio would appreciate a visit," Private said with a smile. "And even if he's in a bit of a mood, it can't POSSIBLY be any worse than the others' right now."

A foreboding sort of silence enveloped the small penguin as he slipped inside, and set his umbrella up against the wall. It was darker than he remembered, as well, the only source of light coming from the various heating lamps in the glass cages lining the walls. And at the far end, sat the enormous boa, who was still curled up in the same spot as the last time Private had seen him. He had a passing thought if Savio had moved since then at all.

The walk to the snake's tank seemed to take forever, but at last Private found himself in front of the looming glass prison. Should Private wake him? Yes, he decided. If Savio truly was still sad, he'd probably been sleeping all day. He lifted a flipper and gently rapped on the glass.

The snake stirred, but didn't awaken. The small penguin tried knocking a little louder.

Savio's head lifted, then turned to face in Private's general direction. He wore a scowl, and his second eyelids still clung halfway down his eyes. The snake yawned, and rubbed said eyes with the end of his tail, and tried to focus on what had interrupted his slumber. Spotting the tiny penguin, Savio stretched, before positioning himself closer to the glass, and looking down at the penguin.

Private was waving, but Savio was already scanning the room behind the bird.

"You are... alone?" asked Savio, suspicion evident in his tone.

"Well, yes! I thought you might like some company, Savio. You seemed kind of sad during my last visit." he explained, with a friendly smile.

The snake gave an unimpressed stare. "Ah, you are not a very bright little creature, are you?"

Private's smile fell. "Um... excuse me? What's that supposed to mean..."

"I, do not greet guests. I eat my guests." replied the serpent, tongue flicking out, eyeing the plump little bird on the other side of the window. He hoped he looked more menacing than he felt at the moment.

To the penguin, Savio didn't even have to try to appear anything- even with the fact he KNEW something was still wrong with the boa, he could still feel the sense of dread one felt when nearby a large predator. Private gulped, but tried to collect himself before speaking once more.

"That...that may be, but you must make exceptions from time to time. Right?"

The reptile's glare lessened some, as his mind instantly thought of Hoboken and a certain lemur he left behind. He supposed there were some exceptions to the rule. Though, even then, he couldn't make any guarantees. Private, almost picking up on this train of thought, used it as momentum to carry on.

"So," he began a little awkwardly, but smiling nonetheless," how are you?"

"A little cooped up, as of the moment. Not to mention I seem to be having a bit of a pest problem."

Private, picking up that the snake was referring to him, found his nerve waving some. Maybe this was a bad idea, after all. Still, he carried on.

"Ah, yes...but what about beyond that? Its not too cold in there for you, I hope."

Savio paused as he lifted a brow. It was very peculiar for one's old lunch to be worried about something like that. Still suspicious, but holding onto the belief that the fowl wasn't the smartest of penguins, replied a bit hesitantly.

"...It is fine enough, I suppose. Better than out there, I imagine."

"Oh, actually, it isn't really that nippy out here. Today was a lot warmer than it has been- about sixteen celsius. Though...I'm not really sure how that would translate to non warm-blooded people, But the humans were wearing light jackets today, so that must mean something."

Savio sighed. Ah, discussing the weather, truly the epitome of small talk. He found himself almost missing Clemson's nonstop chatter; at least the things he said were somewhat interesting.

"You don't say." replied Savio, not even making an attempt at hiding his boredom.

Private sensed the boa was already uninterested and bored, and he began frantically trying to think of a subject to talk about now. As he thought, the silence rolled out, turning awkward and uncomfortable. Finally, Private looked back up at Savio, who was still watching him, and offered an apologetic smile. "Um... sorry, I guess I wasn't quite prepared. I don't know as if we have much to talk about, do we?"

"It is fine. I prefer when my food does not talk back to me." came Savio's reply. Private's smile was once again stripped from his beak.

"I wish you'd both stop talking! How's a guy supposed to get any SLEEP around here, hah?!"

Both the bird and the reptile looked to see Barry pressed up against the glass to his tank, glaring daggers at them. Savio returned the glower, pressing himself against his own tank.

"Oh, would you look at that; the fruity frog legs are ready!"

"Go ahead! Just try it, I dare you!"

Private shut his eyes tightly, and pressed his flippers to his earholes. Why did everyone have to argue? Savio was about to throw out a retort to the colorful amphibian, when the bird interrupted their bickering.

"Maybe I should just go, I seem to only be disturbing you and your neighbors anyway." The penguin looked down at his feet sadly, before looking up and placing a flipper on the glass. "Goodbye Savio...I really DO hope you start feeling better."

And with that, the young bird turned around- making his way towards the door where he left his umbrella. Throwing a goodbye to Barry, and a quick apology for waking him from his nap, he opened his little parsol before stepping into the rain. The door closed with a clank, making the room eerily silent, except for the audible patter of water hitting the ground outside. Savio stared at where the snack had left for a while, part of him instantly wishing the lad had stayed. He was taken from this thought, however, when the predator had the distinct feeling of another pair of eyes on him. Jolting his to the side, Savio glared as the little frog was looking at him with a gower of his own.

"Is there being a problem, my little entre? You will be having no more disturbances from pests tonight." Barry continued to stare, not saying a thing, as the reptile spoke again. "What? What is it?"

"You know what, " the amphibian said, as if the boa wasn't even a threat. "You're a real jerk. Way to go, you just scared off the one person who even wants anything to do with your scaley butt."

Savio said nothing as he broke off the eye contact, curling back up on his rock. He found himself frowning, as he went back to staring at the Reptile House' exit. 'No, Barry,' he thought to himself, 'that wasn't completely true.' He closed his eyes, taking in the heat, as his mind drifted to thoughts of green eyes and wide smiles. To chipper nonsensical babbling and evil laughs. He sighed.

Savio refused to believe he actually missed Clemson.

Rico had tried distracting himself with other things. He'd tried watching television, but there was nothing quite loud and exciting enough to keep him interested. He tried flipping through his magazines, but all of the good pictures had been ripped out and eaten. Mrs. Perky still wasn't talking to him, and he still wasn't talking to Skipper.

The hefty penguin sighed loudly, flipping over on his stomach in his bunk. No, that wasn't comfortable, either.

His bunk was left empty as he gave up and rolled out onto the floor. He made his way over to the lab door, and just stood there. Rico understood wanting to be left alone, he himself felt that way from time to time. So he also knew how irritating it was when others wouldn't let you be alone when you needed to be. But Rico also knew he really wanted to be close to Kowalski right now.

Rico let out a small gasp when the handle refused to budge under his flipper. He was locked out. Kowalski had been angry enough to literally lock them all out. His shock turned to mild anger, and he spit up a paperclip, and began picking the lock, with no second thoughts regarding personal space or privacy.

As soon as he was in, and the door clicked closed behind him, that anger dissipated into anxiousness. Sure, lately, the lab had been where many happy moments happened; he would often sit and watch Kowalski work on this or that, sometimes helping when it was necessary. Rico supposed that was the sort of dates that were to be expected, when dating a man of science.

But now, under these particular circumstances, it felt more like those times before it was love. The times he'd just made things worse. The times Kowalski had yelled at him. He was going to be yelled at, wasn't he? Rico tried to swallow his fear, tried to summon that wild, tough guy who feared no man, no penguin, no nothin'.

But Rico really didn't like being yelled at.

"Um... 'ay."

Kowalski had not noticed his mate entering his lab. Knowingly locking the door, he had felt safe enough to try and let himself relax and get to work on trying to solve his problem on his own. "Try" being the keyword, as paper after crumbled up paper littered the floor around the analyst's workbench. Kowalski had scribbled idea after idea, some so illogical that he didn't even finish his drawings for them. Relaxed he was not, as each failed idea just seemed to fan his frustrations. Hunched over his desk, with pencil in flipper, the options guy was in the middle of drawing out plans for a brainwashing device- the only one of his schemes that even seemed remotely close to working (if unethical)- when Rico had spoken. Kowalski yelped, before turning around with a glare- ready to yell at the intruder.

The tallest penguin's anger was anti-climatic, as he found the snarl fizzle out before it left his vocal cords. Seeing a worried weapons expert, instead of a pompous no-good leader, was already a more peaceful experience. If by a tiny percentage.

"Oh, Rico...It's just you."

Rico let go a sigh of relief; Kowalski seemed to be cooled down now, and not in a yelling mood at all.

"Yup, juh' me." he replied, waddling over to stand at the side of the workbench. He looked at the crumpled up paper scattered all over the floor, even prodding one with his foot. "Uhhhm...?"

"Oh, just... a few ideas for solutions... not that any of them are worth the paper they're written on."

The psycho penguin stomped on the paper ball he'd been poking with his toes moments before, grinding it into the floor, before kicking it away. He didn't know why. It just made him feel better.

"What use is an options guy with no options?" Kowalski whined.

"Oooo." Rico growled deeply, smirking and raising his brow at his mate. He could think of a few things.

The analyst gave him a look that signified that while he didn't know what EXACTLY he was thinking...it was not the time to be thinking Rico's flirting was...nice. Okay, "nice" didn't exactly cover the range from flattering- to annoying-to downright flustering. But he could admit that he found himself enjoying the experience a bit more than he had in the past. That said, no matter how "nice" it was, his flirting was what got them in the mess in the first place. Kowalski found himself a bit surprised that he didn't have any anger towards the hefty penguin over that fact. And yet, he was still miffed over Skipper giving money away to a sick homeless man.

He was never going to understand emotions.

The analyst sighed.

"I just..I don't know about any of this anymore, Rico. Logically I know it's completely selfish of me to put myself before an ill person with a possible chance of fatality. Logically I know helping others is what we do...And yet i'm still upset. I...I haven't really been thinking logically at all. If i'm honest, I haven't able to think straight since this started."

Kowalski looked down at the crumpled pieces of paper at his feet- just a reminder of his current failing. He growled before kicking one of the balls clear across the room. The scientist took no pleasure from the act whatsoever.

"I feel useless, " the scientist found himself continuing, " I feel useless and it's frustrating me to no END! I'm angry, I want to just scream until i can't anymore! But...I think if it was just that i could handle this, I've been angry before. Rage and frustration are not unfamiliar emotions to me. Neither is the melancholic wisps I feel once the anger simmers down. No, I feel something else to. familiar and yet not. I'm...I'm scared.

"I'm frightened because for the first time we don't have a plan." Kowalski looked up at his lover, but found himself not able to look into Rico's eye's for long. "I'm scared because I think this might be the time we fail. We'll fail because I can't work through this and just PULL myself TOGETHER! And...and I'm afraid I'm going to lose you guys. I'm afraid i'm going to lose YOU. And this fear ends up triggering my anger and sadness and I'm just this whirling ball of problems that I JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT!"

The penguin turned back to his workbench where he rested his head on the table, his arms limp at his sides. Kowalski found himself mentally, emotionally, and physically tired in ways he never felt before. He stared at the wood, as he sighed again.

"I'm sorry, Rico, this wasn't something I should have burdened you with. As I said before, I'm perfectly aware of how selfish these feelings are. I'm not the only one who's affected by this ordeal. And yet I can't stop myself from acting like some hissy-fit having hatchling. I can't stop myself from thinking the whole situation is unfair. It's just...why me? And why NOW? Why when I've finally started getting things together...when I've started to find happiness…"

Kowalski was thankful that the weapons expert couldn't see his face, as the analyst was fighting back tears. Great, that's just the next thing he needed to add to his list of problems. Crybaby Kowalski: failed options guy. Way to go.

Through Kowalski's rant, Rico stood there, in silence, his face crumpling more and more as he went on. Kowalski was right this wasn't fair, none of this was fair. If their options guy didn't know what to do, then none of them knew what to do. Obviously, Skipper wasn't so great in the options department.

A dull realization came over Rico at that moment, and he slumped even further. What were you supposed to do when the one person who always had all of the answers... ran out of answers? What were you supposed to do when the one who meant the most to you was slipping through fingers you didn't have, and there was nothing you could do about it?

Kowalski didn't have to worry about being pegged as the crybaby, after he found himself in Rico's tight embrace, his face smushed into Rico's chest, as the weapons expert bawled openly and loudly.

"WAAAAHAHAHAAAAAH..."

At that moment, Rico had come to a decision. No one was going to take Kowalski away without a fight. If they wanted to take Kowalski to Hoboken, they were going to have to go through Rico first.

Meanwhile, on the analyst's end of things, Kowalski found himself unable to breath as he was face deep in feathers- some of them starting to poke into his nose holes. His flippers went to the soft tuft, as he tried pushing himself far enough so he could take in some air. Rico's grip, however, did not loosen, as he continued to cry. The taller bird flailed his arms as he muffled pleas into his lover's chest.

When the screaming was enough to overpower his own wails, that was when the heftier bird realized what he was doing. He relaxed his arms, without letting go of the scientist, as Kowalski threw his head back and gasped for air.

"SWEET MOTHER OF HOMOGENOUS GASES!" Kowalski finally cried, still gasping as he inhaled and exhaled erratically. "Rico, Don't DO that. Please! Never EVER again!"

Rico frowned, eyes still moist from tears.

"S-s-Sorry 'Walski…"

The analyst's glare diminished as it turned to a soft smile. he returned to the fluffy chest, this time a willing party, as he rested his head there in a comforting gesture. One of Kowalski's flippers massaged the feathers, as he felt the both of them begin to relax- the taller penguin's whirl of negative emotions melting away from the warmth of his mate.

"There there, Rico. It's just stress, I'm sure. We've went through and survived far worse than this. I mean, they're only humans. Not like we're up against the likes of Blowhole or anything." Thankfully; that was the last thing they needed right now. But Kowalski chose to keep this to himself as he went on. " We'll come up with something, I assure you. I'll keep trying. "

Rico sniffed, unflatteringly, and let go of Kowalski, who stood up straight. The analyst's spine would have thanked both of them, had it had the ability to do so.

"Okay..." Rico replied, offering the best smile he was able to muster at the moment.

Kowalski cleared his throat, suddenly feeling a tad bit awkward after such an emotional exchange. "Speaking of which, I should probably get back to that. Trying, that is."

Rico nodded, and instead of leaving his mate to his work, he plopped himself down on the floor beside the workbench.

And so it went. Kowalski continued working on ideas, Rico sitting contentedly on the floor, watching. Just like they had done, so many times before. Like nothing horrible was looming over their heads at all. There was a strange sense of comfort in familiar situations, in routine; it provided a sense of certainty that they had both been needing.

No matter what life decided to throw at them...they would be okay.

Chapter Text

Next day, mid-afternoon.

Roger licked his lips, his mind completely focused on the task at hand. He had been busy hunched over his table for hours, since the day before. The only time he wasn't, was when bodily functions told him to stop to eat or sleep...as well as a certain bossy lemur king demanding he fix his hot cocoa. The alligator pulled out a pin from the side of his mouth, as he attached two pieces of material together, before feeding it through his sewing machine once more. It purred for him as he pressed on the pedal, his hands steady as he made sure every stitch was straight and even.

Finally the machine came to a stop, and Roger smiled. Taking out the pins from his mouth, and placing them on the little plush tomato push-pin, he lifted his creation in the air as he spun around in his seat happily.

"THERE, I think that should do it. What do you think, King Julien?"

The lemur glanced up lazily at the alligator-sized leather jacket Roger was displaying, and shrugged. "Eh. I've seen better."

Roger's heart sank along with his smile, and Julien left his hot cocoa to leap up and land on his shoulder. "But we don't have time to be getting new, and more better-er things, so it will have to be doing it for now."

The faux leather jacket fit like a glove- as any properly made custom-fit article of clothing should have. Still, the large reptile frowned at himself in the mirror.

"Oh, I don't know... black is such a moody color. This just doesn't feel like me, you know?"

Julien snorted and rolled his eyes. "Well of course it does not feel like you; it is not you that you are trying to be!"

Roger turned to face his little helper. "...It isn't? Then what me am I supposed to be?"

"You are supposed to be de guy dat de girly-birds are liking, duh. Not de guy dat, you know, isn't so popular with the lady-peoples."

Roger turned back to look at the imposter in the mirror, sadly. "Oh. Right. That guy."

Pinky enjoyed gossip and hanging with the flock just as much as any other flamingo, but there were times when they just felt like they had to get away. It was early, and already Pinky felt a strong need to break away for a while.

Sneaking away wasn't difficult, and the lone flamingo found themselves washing their feathers happily in the little pond the habitat provided.

The sound of someone deliberately clearing their throat made Pinky stop... and look around, until she spotted Roger leaning up against the habitat wall, clad in a black jacket and sunglasses. Despite the gesture of clearing his throat obviously meant to get Pinky's attention, the alligator was looking off in a completely different direction.

"Roger? What the heck are you wearin'?"

Hearing the flamingo's voice was enough to whip the reptile's head forward and back at the bird. He opened his mouth, and looked like he was about to speak, when he instantly covered it with his claws. Looking startled, he coughed before facing away again, this time just shrugging as he pulled out a sucker from his jacket's pocket and began to suck on it.

Pinky raised a brow at this. Huh...they didn't recall the alligator being so weird. Had he always been? Shrugging the thought off, the colorful bird tried talking to them again.

"Yeah, okay sugar. Now can I help you?"

Roger, whose eyes were still covered by the black sunglasses, didn't seem like he had heard Pinky at all. The flamingo, giving the benefit of the doubt, decided to try speaking a little louder.

"ROGER, can I HELP you?"

Still nothing. Okay, now the they were started to get angry. Rolling their eyes, they were about to turn away when the larger animal pulled out the lollipop from his mouth with an audible pop. Pulling down the shades on his face slightly, just enough so his dark eyes could be seen, he leaned forward as he cleared his throat once more.

"Yeah, hey...you." Roger's voice came out as deep and monotoned, as he tried to come off as both manly yet uninterested at the same time. "You can't help me. Nobody can hep me. I am just a free spirit, causing trouble no matter where I go. Even my own mother thinks I'm a rotten egg deserving of no love. Born bad."

Whatever offence Pinky had taken to being ignored had quickly dissipated, as they covered their beak with a wing and snerked.

"You...don't say, hun."

It was difficult to hide a smile as large as an alligator's, but Roger quickly collected himself, and it fell into a disinterested frown in an instant. Pinky was buying it! It was working, he couldn't believe it.

"Oh, you bet. Just too far gone. Nothing left to do now, but...uh..."

"Be bad?" mocked Pinky.

Roger, completely missing the mocking tone, grinned and nodded his head. "Oh, yes, that!" The alligator righted himself again, picking up the bad-boy facade he'd dropped. "A-hem, I mean, yeah, whatever." he added, crossing his arms over his chest the best he could, and looking away again.

"Yeah, okay, you go do that, baby. Don't let me stop you." Pinky turned to leave, and was already walking away. "G'bye, Roger."

Roger jumped, spinning around to watch his crush walk away. "What- no! Wait, Pinky I-"

His words were muffled by the lemur king wrapping his whole tiny fuzzy body around his maw, while glaring up at him.

"Don't ruin it! She is obviously slimy putty in your hands, now. You got to squish the putty, mold it to how you are wanting it to be! You got to ignore her. Play it like she can't be reaching you! Trust me, it drives them to the crazies."

"But..She-I mean, they are walking away!"

"That is what you are wanting! You got to be letting it be doing de festering, have dem be moping from da wanting!"

Roger looked back over at his crush, who had apparently decided to go back to the others. Pinky sure didn't look like they were moping. In fact, they looked like they were smiling. Oh! There they were, laughing now!

"King Julien, he, I mean she-THEM! THEY don't seem very...well, not to be the one to be doubting, but they don't really look DOWN about it at all, do they?"

"PFFT! What, no- de lady-bird is surely doing de sulk-" Julien stopped talking, as he heard another laugh coming from the group. Looking over, he frown as he stroke his furry chin in thought. "Ya know, you might be having de point. Dey are a little too laugh-y, aren't they? HUH...maybe dey are having the guy parts after all. Dat ALWAYS worked on my girlfriends."

The alligator found himself deflating from that, as he turned away from the scene. Removing his sunglasses, the usually jovial gator sighed as he began to walk away. The royal lemur, surprised from the sudden movement, found himself losing his balance as he fell off. He landed on the concrete with an 'oof', as he glared at the giant reptile's backside.

"HEY! What is da meaning of dis? Where do you think you are going? Get back here and be doing the ignoring! You are going to be losing de flamingo-persons' interest!"

Roger found himself stopping, as he sadly looked over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, King Julien, but I don't think this is working...I don't think any of it is working. I just...I think I'm going to go home, if you don't mind. Thanks for your help anyway, your majesty, but I think this might be a lost cause."

Julien jumped to his feet, and yelled after the gator. "No, it is you who... lost... de causes!" The lemur contemplated running after Roger... but the truth was, he was out of ideas. And while the reptile's place was warm and comfortable, it was boring. Roger was boring. The guy seriously had terrible taste in music; you couldn't even dance to that stuff!

Yes, Julien missed his habitat kingdom. He missed the all night dance parties, he missed his throne. He missed Maurice, he missed Mor- well, he missed Maurice, anyway.

The lemur king adjusted his crown, stretched, and headed off to... well, home. He was sure his loyal subjects would be thrilled to have their king back.

Two weeks had gone by for the city of New York, and the weather had yet again hit freezing points. Snow littered the ground like white confetti, and all of Manhattan was just a part of Winter's party. While Father Christmas might have been enjoying the season, not all were happy with the weather's arrangements.

Outside a small family owned chinese restaurant, out in the back by the alleyway, sheltered the likes of a completely miserable being. Hiding in the dumpster, and away from the neon sign that read "Shun Lee's Asian Cuisine", was an almost frozen Max. Ideally, the stray cat should have been happy. He had a place from the snow and he had a constant supply of food-heck, he had practically been swimming in perfectly good shrimp that the humans had just carelessly thrown away! And while he was a grateful kitty, truly he was, he still had ooone itty bitty problem.

"I-i-I c-c-can't, " the feline began, as their teeth chattered uncontrollably. Max found himself swallowing down an icy gulp air, as he tried talking again. "I c-can't feel my toes! This...This r-really blows fish chunks!"

Just like life to give him his wish for food, only to curse him with freezing to death.

The cat rose to his numb feet, and stretched up to take a peek outside. At least it wasn't snowing today. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Max. An idea just brimming with hope.

"Hey... I wonder if the guys'll let me bunk with them for awhile? At least until I defrost." he wondered aloud, punctuating the last part with a shiver. It couldn't hurt to ask, and besides, he kind of missed those wacky birds.

Reaching up to climb out from his makeshift home, he stopped and looked back at the pile of shrimp he'd be leaving behind. He scooped two paw fulls into his mouth and chewed greedily. "A few more for the road." he mumbled through a mouthful of seafood.

The feline scooped up what was left into a napkin to take with him. He didn't know whether penguins ate shrimp or not, but maybe a nice gift would help convince them to let him stay.

Half an hour or so later, at the penguin HQ, the whole unit was preoccupied with things other than smile-and-wave duty. Skipper and Private were taking decorations stock for the upcoming Christmas Bash, while Kowalski and Rico were in the lab, presumably still trying to think of a new way to get some cash.

"Ornaments?"

"Check, Skipper!"

"Blinky lights?"

"Right here!"

"Big plastic Santa?"

"...Um, no, Skipper. You melted that last year. With a blowtorch. Remember?"

"Oh yeeaah... didn't trust those squinty little eyes. I could just tell he was up to something!"

Still caught up in his remembrance of the shifty plastic Santa spy, Skipper jumped and nearly karate chopped Max's skull, as the feline fell through their hatch and landed with a thud on the floor. The penguin, upon seeing it was a friend and not a foe, scowled nonetheless.

"And who forgot to secure the hatch? Again?"

Max sat up and shook his head, then smiled at the two birds. "Hey, guys! Sorry for just, droppin' in like that. Oh, boy, you wouldn't believe how long I stood out there, talkin' to those holograms."

Private, currently very tangled in a string of festive string lights, waved the best he could, and offered a greeting. Skipper's scowl melted into a warm smile of his own.

"Moon Cat! What brings you to here? Been a while!"

Moon Cat climbed to his feet, and cleared his throat... which turned into an unflattering cough.

"Okay, first of all, I brought you guys a..." Max looked, bewildered, at the empty napkin in his paw. "Whoops. Eh heh heh. Scratch that, I got hungry on the way over."

Max, instead, threw the napkin over his shoulder, completely forgetting about it, as he then sheepishly began scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah, uh, real talk here. Was kinda wondering if you guys could do me a favor…"

Skipper smiled.

"Say no more! I COMPLETELY understand. We all get in this situation once in a while. Happens to the best of us. So...who is it?"

"Uh...who is what?"

"Oh, YOU know...So who's the guy you need 'taken care of'? I need name, base of operations, his M.O. Any preferred method of extermination?"

Both Private and their house guest had their eyes open widely in alarm, as they cried out at the same time:

"'Extermination?!'"

"Woah, woah, YIKES!" Max cried out, waving his paws to try and erase the thought. "I mean, thanks for the offer- kinda touching, in a crazy sorta way. But THAT'S not the favor I need! I was just going to ask if you guys minded if i crashed here for a while. Getting a little too cold out there for this stray to be a part of it, ya know what I mean?"

Skipper scoffed. "Oh, is that all? Sure, stay for as long as you need! Just lay low, don't ask questions, and don't get in the way."

The cat smiled back, unbelieving. That sure had been easy. "Wow, seriously? You guys are just the best, you know that? The best! You won't even know I'm here, I swear."

"Welcome to our home, Max!" Private greeted, happily, still struggling to rid himself of the Christmas lights.

"Hey, thanks!" Making his way to the middle of the room, Max looked around, and surveyed his new, temporary home. "Nice place! Very nice! Spacious, warm, and the lingering scent of..." he sniffed the air. "is that mackerel? The perfect touch!"

"That is mackerel, actually!" replied Private.

"Oh, he's good." added Skipper.

The feline jumped and yelped when the large metal door to the lab suddenly swung open with a loud CLANG. Standing in the doorway was the craziest member of the penguin squad, and Max relaxed, even grinned.

"Feesh?!" cried Rico, quickly scanning the room for the mentioned seafood. Disappointment was found in there being no fish, but seeing an old friend was visiting was almost as good. The penguin returned the cat's grin, and approached him warmly. "'Ay, ih 'ooncat!"

The two exchanged high-fives... or as close to they could get with a paw and a flipper, anyway.

"Wuh sup, mehn?"

Max waved a paw, dismissively. "Oh, you know, alley cat stuff. Scavenging for food, running for my life, hiding in dumpsters. Really can't complain. Hey! That car part work for what ya needed?"

"Uuuhm..." The penguin's smile faltered slightly, and he turned to face the lab door, which he'd left open, just as the team scientist trudged out, his goggles pushed up to his brow. Rico turned back to Mooncat, his grin back, and bright as ever. "Yup!"

Kowalski continued his way over to the table, before he glanced up and noticed their guest. "Ah, I thought I heard company." he nodded politely at the feline, and offered a faint smile. "Hello."

"Hey to you, too! I was just commenting on how nice this place was. It even has windows! Nice view of the ... heh! Is, is that, water? The wet kind of water?" Max's eyes shot frantically from one port window to the next. Water. Water everywhere. He could feel the fur on his back standing on end, and he shivered.

"The wettest!" announced Skipper, proudly.

"Our place is surrounded with water! Really refreshing on a warm summer's day. Not so much right now, though." added the youngest member of the team, kicking the last coil of lights from his foot, before tumbling over backward.

Max's ears lay flat against his head. "Suh-surrounded? By wa-water?"

In an instant, the cat was crouched atop of Skipper's head, fur standing on end, and the claws of all four feet digging into the penguin's head.

Skipper wore an expression of controlled agony. "Kowalski..." he hissed between a clenched beak. "Explain to me why I suddenly feel like a pincushion."

The analyst got out of his seat and made it toward the shivering cat, before waving a flipper in front of the terrified feline. When he received no response, Kowalski shook his head before looking gravely at his leader.

"I don't know how to say this...but I fear we've lost him. His brain has been hijacked by the native alien spies of Betelgeuse. Creatures that steal Earth brains to present to their species' women- the prettiest women in the galaxy. Leaving them in a shaken state of fear and..whatever else you'd call this."

"I see," Skipper said with a frown, as his eye twitched from the pain. Taking in a deep breath, he continued through a clenched beak. "Anything we can do for him that can GET HIM OFF MY HEAD?!"

This seemed to spring the muscle of the team into action, as he grabbed the cat off of the avian commander's head. Max, still shocked and shaking, instantly sprung back to life as he scurried up and then dug his claws into Rico's skull. If he was bothered, he showed no indication as he waggled his eyebrows at his mate flirtatiously.

"'Ey, 'ike m' ew hair?"

Private, frowning up worriedly at their feline friend on the maniac's head, turned back to the team's leader.

"Didn't he say something about water, though? ...Aren't cats afraid of water?"

Skipper, happy to have his head free from the pain, laughed.

"Don't be ridiculous, Private! Who could be afraid of a little bit of WATER? You need water to LIVE!"

"Actually, Skipper," Kowalski interjected, "cats usually DO suffer from hydrophobia. Too much water can trigger a panic reflex in them, making them go- WOW, in hindsight, this really DOES make more sense than the alien theory. I REALLY need to stay away from watching exterrestrial conspiracy shows, Seriously. Everything looks like aliens after a while."

"Well, that's no good, is it? Sorry, Max, I guess you won't be staying with us, after all." Private apologized, sadly, to their still unresponsive guest.

The leader of the penguin squad jutted his chest out proudly, and smiled with confidence. "No need for the sad eyes, Private! We'll just have to find Moon Cat another place to bunk for the winter. I'm sure someone else in the zoo has a habitat more suited for our feline friend."

Kowalski had his notepad out without even having to be directly consulted. "Well... Marlene's habitat would provide optimal heating conditions, buuut there's still the issue of 'too much water'. "

"And we can't very well put him in the reptile house; he's likely to be eaten. Or, you know, poisoned." Private interjected, with a shudder.

"Ahbluuh bagaahma mehna." added Rico.

Skipper thought about it for a moment, before responding. "All valid points! But we don't give up that easily. Operation: Re-homing the Homeless is still a-go."

Minutes later, four penguins and one cat stood just outside of the elephant habitat, and Max was feeling much better.

"Wow guys, sorry about that back there. I don't know what came over me! I just, I choked! All that water, nyeh! How do you guys stand it?"

Skipper smiled encouragingly, and even a bit smugly, as he puffed up his chest in reply.

"What can I say? It's just how us penguins swim. That said, our base won't be usable with your…" The leader paused, flipper rubbing his chin in thought. "Kowalski, give me the word I'm looking for."

"'Condition'?

"Sure, that works too. But fear not, Moon Cat, we got ideas up our sleeveless tuxes." The penguin leader, after throwing another smile at his favorite puss, jumped up onto the top of the brick wall. Flippers behind his back, his voice came out in a strong boom. "Burt! May we have a word with you?"

Burt the elephant, and the owner of the habitat, had been busy munching on some hay as he had cheerful hummed christmas jingles between mouthfuls. Wrapped up in a warm scarf, and with earmuff that were far too small and practically useless for ears his size, the pachyderm stopped his jovial munching as he heard his name being called. Turning his head, Burt smiled as he saw Skipper. Swallowing down his meal, he started to make his way towards the penguin.

"Oh, hi Skipper!" He looked down and noticed the others; he smiled wider. "And hey guys! What can I do for you?"

Skipper pointed to the cat standing next to him, who grinned up and waved sheepishly at the enormous animal in front of him.

"This here's Moon Cat, we go way back! Thing is, he needs a place to stay for the winter, and our place is a no-go. So, how about he stays with you, hm?"

The feline attempted to correct the penguin, and assure the elephant his name was actually Max, but he was ignored.

Burt looked down at the tiny mammal in question. "Hmm, I don't know... kinda crowded in here already." he replied, scratching his head with his trunk, and glancing over his shoulder at his sizable habitat. "Aw, what the hay, could be nice havin' some company for the Holiday season! Sure, he can stay."

Max sighed, and leaped up to the top of the habitat wall, and thanked the elephant.

"Don't mention it!" replied Burt.

Then the cat turned around and waved at the penguins. "Thanks, guys! I appreciate this, I really do!"

The four birds waved back, all smiles.

"Any time, compadre'; now you and Mr. Pachyderm play nice, you hear?" replied Skipper.

"Good luck in your new home!" called Private.

As the penguins turned and began waddling back toward their habitat, the youngest member sighed contentedly.

"We've done so much good this year, haven't we Skipper? Do you think Santa's been watching?"

Skipper chucked. "Of course he's been watching, Private. Santa Claus is always watching. Which, is both impressive, and a little unsettling. Gives me goosebumps!"

All four halted as a scream of terror ripped through the zoo. They instantly recognized it as Burt's, and made haste back to the habitat.

The penguin squad arrived, flipping up onto the wall, just in time to see the elephant stomping around his habitat, in a panic.

"Where'd it go, where'd it go?!" the large mammal cried out.

"Where did WHAT go?" Skipper cried out, before looking around. "And where the heck is Moon Cat?!"

Before the elephant could reply, the avian commander found his head whipping towards the youngest team member as Private yelled out his name in alarm. Following the pointed flipper, Skipper's own eyes widened as he looked upon a trampled kitty. Burt, who was still busy stampeding back and forth in his habitat, was about to make his way towards the hurt feline once more. It was then that Skipper knew what they must do.

"Stop that elephant, men!"

The team jumped off the wall, and after the large land mammal. Rico regurgitated a rope, throwing one end to Kowalski; sensing what his mate had in mind, the analyst held onto the end as the hefty bird lept over Burt. As Skipper and Private distracted the elephant, the other two then belly-slid through the elephant's legs. Burt cried out as he found himself tangled and tied, and soon came crashing into the ground. He slid, his momentum enough to slide him the remaining way of the yard.

All let out a sigh of relief as the habitat's owner stopped right in front of the injured stray.

"Oh, Max! Oh dear." Private made his way quickly to the cat, as he tried helping him up. "Are you all right?"

The cat stumbled to his feet, and Private had to catch him as his legs almost betrayed him, nearly depositing him back onto the ground. He looked at the penguin... make that penguins.

"Hey! Have there always been two of you?" questioned Max. The youngest penguin looked back at him with worry.

Meanwhile, the elephant seemed to have calmed down, and had just gotten back onto his own feet. Skipper stood atop the enormous elephant's head, and glared down at him.

"Mind enlightening us as to what that was all about, Mr. Stomp-happy?" he scolded.

Burt looked up at the penguin on his head the best he could. "Sorry, Skipper... and sorry, Space Cat guy. I just... I thought I saw a-"

The frightened mouse that had been ensnared in Max's front paws, AKA: Max's planned lunch, suddenly squirmed loose and plopped on the ground at the cat's feet. Moon Cat looked up, and gulped.

"MOOUUUSE!" yelled the elephant, his trunk already swinging wildly at the rodent. The mouse managed to scamper away, but Max wasn't so lucky, as he received a solid trunk-pummelling.

The penguins thankfully managed to get Max out of there before he was turned into paste, and safely on the other side of the habitat wall.

"That didn't go well at all!" stated Private. "Now what'll we do?"

"Well, we sure as heck aren't sending him back in there!" Skipper glared up at the wall, before turning back to the team. "What we need is another place to stash him. Kowalski-?"

"Say no more," the analyst sighed, before taking out his notebook and pen. "Well, large mammals seem to be a no-go. That would eliminate Roy and the gorillas as options. Oh, and the kangaroo exhibit as well, for even more obvious reasons. Large AND extremely foul tempered. So small animals-warm blooded, preferably-, away from quantities of water…"

Private tried thinking along with the tallest penguin, as he smiled.

"Like the lemur habitat?"

The leader didn't seem pleased by this.

"Kowalski BETTER not be suggesting the lemur habitat. If a nice guy like Burt almost did Moon Cat in, I don't want him anywhere near THOSE morons. Especially not Ringtail, he'd just use and abuse the guy-in the BAD way!"

Kowalski laughed nervously, as he tried to nonchalantly erase what he had drawn. HE had thought that had been a great idea- warm bodies, close enough for them to keep an eye on the cat...Skipper didn't agree, it seemed. Coughing to distract the others, the analyst then quickly scrawled out another doodle before showing it to the team and friend.

"No, of course not, Skipper. I was merely going to suggest THIS!"

Skipper leaned in closer to look at the crude drawing. He honestly couldn't tell what the heck that thing was. Was it a bear? A pigeon in a top-hat? Why the heck would Kowalski suggest a pigeon in a top hat? He frowned.

"And that is…?"

"Phascolarctos cinereus- Koala. The habitat not only meets all of the requirements, but the different sleep schedules might just also play into Max's favor."

Max looked at the scribble, thoughtfully. "Hmm... a koala, you say? He, he's not afraid of mice, is he?"

"Probably." said Kowalski, flipping his notepad closed and stowing it away somewhere.

"That guy's afraid of his own shadow! He's afraid of us, of all people." added Skipper.

Behind him, Rico sneezed, sending three daggers slicing through the air, sticking fast in the side of the tree of the lemur habitat.

"I can't imagine why. He's a nut!" Skipper chuckled, completely unaware, or at least un-phased by what had just happened behind him.

Max offered a polite smile and nervous laugh. " Heh heh. Yeah. Weird."

"But, the important thing is, he isn't a two-ton pachyderm with the ability to crush you in a fit of blind panic." offered Kowalski.

That was good enough for Max.

The moon had relieved the sun of its duties for the day, and hung high in the night sky by the time they'd gotten around to the koala habitat. But a quick sweep of the habitat showed the five of them that it was empty.

Or maybe not. Suddenly, the large tree in the center of the place seemed to speak. "The answer is no. A BIG no! I don't want any part of anything you're up to. Leave me out of it! Just go away!"

Before Max could be freaked out by the fact he had just witnessed the first talking tree he had ever seen, Private waddled ahead of the group as he went closer to the habitat's main feature. Tilting his head upward, the youngest penguin started speaking in his kindest- most nonthreatening- voice.

"Leonard...Is that you?"

"NO!" The tree cried. "He's gone-not around anymore. If you want THAT guy, then you're looking in the wrong place. Bye-bye, now, don't let the eucalyptus leaves hit ya on the way out!"

Skipper merely rolled his eyes, before glaring at the plant. He came forward, as well, as he crossed his flippers across his chest.

"Playing hard to get, huh? WELL, if Mr. Koala isn't around anymore, then I guess he won't mind if we took care of his weed problem then. " The squatty commander threw a look over his shoulder and at his weapons expert as he nodded in his direction. "Alright, Rico, how'd ya like to cut THIS bad boy down to size?"

Rico's eyes lit up in insane glee, as he threw up his beloved chainsaw. Chuckling ominously, he pulled the string on the device as he felt a tingle go through him as he listened to it come to life and purr for him. The hefty penguin began running towards the tree when both it and Private cried out in a panic.

"No!"

The koala moved into view, sliding down from the treetop and landing on a thick branch.

"Wait, not my tree! I'll talk, I'll talk! Just call off Mister Psycho, please!" he cried, genuinely concerned for the well-being of his favorite tree.

Satisfied, Skipper smirked. "Okay Rico, you heard the koala; rope it in."

The chainsaw sputtered to a stop, and Rico deflated. "Awww, 'eally?"

Leonard relaxed, but kept his glare glued to Rico as he slumped and trudged away. "You seriously freak me out, I mean really. You have issues!"

The psychopath's disappointment in not getting to use his chainsaw was at once replaced by flattery. He turned and faced the mammal again with a smile, and waved a flipper at him modestly. "Oh, stop."

"Well? What do you want? I haven't got all night!" Leonard complained.

Skipper lifted Max up and placed the cat in front of him. "This guy needs a place to stay for the winter. And, let's face it; you could use a friend. Any friend at all."

Leonard's eyes went wide, and one clawed hand went up to cover his nose. "No, oh no! Not a cat! Get it away from me; I'm deathly allergic!"

Private frowned up at the koala. "Well that seems a bit unlikely..."

"No, you see, I have a doctor's note and everything. I'm highly allergic to anything with fur."

Kowalski raised a brow.

"Aren't YOU covered in fur?"

"Did I say 'fur'?" The marsupial laughed nervously. "I meant to say 'anything penguin related'. And that INCLUDES their fish smelling friends."

Max couldn't figure out why he had made a compliment sound so insulting, and didn't know what to feel. However, he looked up at the Koala as he threw himself at the other mammal's feet. Leonard cried out in alarm, as the cat held onto a leg and began to beg.

"Oh, ya gotta let me stay," the feline wailed," I'm desperate! Completely outta my mind with worry! So cold, I'm practically a popsicle! Please, pal, help a guy out! I promise you won't even know I'm here. I'll be as silent as a mouse. Heck, I'll even catch 'em for ya, too, if you got yourself a vermin problem!"

"Would you GET OFF?! No dice, cat. How do I know you aren't as insane as THESE guys?"

Max fell silent, and stood up, looking back at his four penguin friends. Private smiled, Rico waved, and Skipper and Kowalski just stared back, expectantly. Huh, thought the cat. He had a point.

What was a cat to do? Stick up for his friends, and risk losing another temporary home, or throw them under the bus and score a warm place to sleep for the night?

"Well?" prodded Leonard. "I'm waiting."

Max sighed in defeat and turned back to the koala. "Ah, look pal, I just need a place to stay tonight, just ONE night is all I ask! Waddya say, pal?"

"We'll have him moved out in the morning; won't even know he's been here at all." assured the team scientist.

Leonard regarded all of them with a deep scowl, arms crossed over his chest. All eyes were on him, silently pleading... except for Skipper, who just looked bored. The marsupial rolled his eyes.

"Fine, he can stay. For ONE night, and then he's OUT of here, got it? ONE NIGHT!"

Relief washed over Max and the habitat host suddenly found the cat had attached itself to his leg again, and was now kissing his feet. Oh, that was disgusting.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You won't regret it, I swear!"

"TOO LATE FOR THAT! Get OFF of me! Are you ALWAYS this clingy?!"

Leonard finally managed to kick Max off, but at the cost of his balance, as he tumbled backward off of the tree. Max watched him fall in horror; man, he was really good at screwing things up, wasn't he? He looked back to the penguins for guidance, but they were gone.

The koala was yelling again, but otherwise seemed alright. Max scampered down off of the tree, and hid in a bush, rather close to the heating vent for the habitat. This would work for the night. He was warm, relatively safe, and only a little hungry.

Ah, this was the life.

Alice Burton hated the weekends.

Now, don't get her wrong; Alice wasn't a fan of most days. However, there was a special hatred geared specifically towards the weekend. The redhead glared as she realized all the additional people she would have to clean up after. It may have been winter, but they were also most people's off days. Sometimes it didn't matter HOW cold the weather got, people were destined to come out and make her job unbearable.

The curvy woman took another sip of her starbuck's coffee, as she pulled back her coat's sleeve to look at her watch. 7:49 a.m. Not bad. She was less than an hour late to work- a lot better than most days. Like hell was she going to wake up at four in the morning just to get there on time- five was already a stretch! So after unlocking the gate to the zoo, she made her way straight to her office to check her inbox.

She might have been at work, but you couldn't expect her to go straight into cleaning up after the animals. Not out in the snow, where it was FREEZING! Alice had two hours before the zoo opened, she could put some of it off until then.

Two new emails, how exciting, thought Alice. Except not really. She lazily read the title of the first one aloud.

"Free trial run: enlarge your- OH for Pete's sake! Delete."

The second email she immediately recognized as being from her sister. Alice scowled and rolled her eyes, even as she clicked to open it. What did she want? She only ever contacted Alice when she needed something... or to gloat about something.

The woman's scowl only deepened as she read. Finally she sat back in her chair, the look on her face as moody as the weather outside.

"Ohh, little sister Anna is getting married!" she sang to the empty room, in a fake cheery tone, with a just-as-fake smile. "Whoop-de-freakin'-do."

The computer screen went black as Alice shut it down. She spun the chair until it was facing the window, and watched the driving snow outside. Her glower slowly turned somber, then on into mild sadness.

Alice heaved a heavy sigh. She was certainly looking forward to Christmas day; she looked forward to any day off she was given. But what was Christmas, but another grim reminder of how empty her house still was? Just another year gone by without anyone to share it with.

The redhead drunk up the remainder of her coffee, before looking at her watch again.

"Well," she supposed, "guess I better get to feeding and cleaning up after the animals. Last thing I want is to get blamed for them turning into cannibals or dying of dysentery. Ugh."

Throwing the cup listlessly towards the trashcan, she didn't even smile as it landed perfectly in the bin. Her somber mood continued as she retrieved her coat and headed towards the door. Bracing herself, she opened the door and was hit by a bitter chill.

Sometimes Alice REALLY hated her life.

Max had been sleeping peacefully next to the heating vent, curled up in a ball of warmth and bliss. The night had went pretty peaceful for him, actually. That Leonard person wasn't much for conversation, he had found out after the few times he had tried talking to him. But luckily, for both of them, the day had been much too long and the stray had found sleep. Sometimes a noise would wake him, as the Koala turned out to be a night-owl...er, night-mammal; the home owner apparently having a habit of walking back and forth and complaining about an array of things. However, this didn't bother Max much, and he was able to just inch closer to the vent and fall back to sleep.

Besides, who was he to judge?

The cat, yet again, found himself waking up as he heard some heavy movement outside of the bushes. A part of the feline's brain noted that the sun had begun to rise, but he brushed that off as he closed his eyes again. Leonard guy was still up? Huh, maybe his kind didn't need much sleep or something. No matter, Max sure as heck wasn't going to bother him any. He figured he would try to catch some more Z's before his penguin buddies decided to come pick him up.

He was jolted out of his sleep, however, when he heard a cry close to his bushes. One that was loud and clearly annoyed. But, even more noticeable to Max, still, was the fact it did NOT sound like the koala at all.

Fully awake now, Max peeked through the bush's foliage, and spotted the only female zookeeper in Central Park Zoo. She was currently standing in the middle of the habitat, with one foot lifted off the ground, her lip curled in disgust.

" I do NOT wanna know what I just stepped in." he heard her mumble.

Oh, this was bad, this was very bad. Time to make a break for it before she called animal control. Max shivered as flashbacks of his last encounter with animal control flashed through his mind.

The cat leaped from the bushes, and took off like a rocket- only to skid to a stop a few feet away from the bush. Once away from the heating vent, it was COLD out there! Every muscle in Max's malnourished body clenched up from the sudden chill, and refused to let him move. He sat there and shook, and he could swear icicles were already forming on his whiskers.

He managed to turn his head when Alice spoke... and he knew he was done for.

"What the- what the heck is a cat doing in the koala habitat?"

Max did what he could- which was nothing- and stared up at her with big, frightened eyes. The woman glared down at him, and he couldn't stop shivering.

"Say... haven't I seen you around before? ... Yeah, I know I have! What are you doing hanging around this place? Don't you have a family to run home to, or something?"

That feline merely sat there, shivering, the snow already turning his coat a dull shade.

"No, huh? Well, that makes two of us. Whatever; you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here, you know the drill. Shoo!"

The zookeeper didn't actually make an effort to shoo the cat away, but instead finished leaving food for the unconscious koala, and left.

Max watched her leave... and he had an idea. Wasn't this how life-long friendships started? A cold, hungry stray, meets a warm, kindhearted human, and you skip the middle part, and the next thing you know, that stray is a fat, happy house cat? Yeah, that sounded about right. And it was enough to break him out of his frozen stupor, and he dashed after the retreating woman.

Alice grunted as she hoisted the fourth hay bale over the side of the rhino habitat. When she went to fetch the fifth, she found that same cat from earlier sitting atop it.

Max gave her his most winning smile, and meowed. "Meow, me-ow! Do ya hear me purrin' over here? C'mon, I'm adorable, right? Or are you more of a dog person? I can do dog!"

The cat rolled over on its back, and wagged its tail.

The redhead's hardened expression seemed to melt a little, as she smiled down at the animal. Stupid cat, didn't even know what it was. Kinda cute, too. The soft expression instantly returned to its icy intensity, as the clock struck nine.

"Shoot," she cried out as Alice looked up at the clock tower's face," people'll start showing up in an hour!"

Alice glared at the stray, as she quickly snatched up Max by the back of his neck. The striped cat's playfulness turned to fear as the human brought him up to her face. He began shaking, as her glower turned into a sigh.

"You're just going to keep following me, aren't you? I can't get any work done with you at my heels…" The woman but the cat more comfortably in her arms, before walking away from the rhino exhibit and to the main offices. Max had been too busy taking in the little body heat the human gave off, that he only just barely noticed Alice had started muttering. "'Gonna have to stow you in my office, for now. Figure out what to do with you, later."

He was so caught up in being held, that it took him by complete surprise when he was dumped onto the office floor, and the door slammed shut behind him. Max scrambled to his feet, and looked around frantically. Was this to be his temporary holding cell, until animal control get there to take him away? He had to get out of there! He had to-

His resolve fell apart the moment he looked out into the pelting snow outside. He didn't want to go back out there. Max shrugged, jumped up into the office chair, curled up, and began his wait.

"Eh, I had a good run. At least I'm warm!"

And when Alice returned after tending to the animals, her lap was occupied by a slumbering feline as she sipped another cup of coffee and waited for 10:00 to arrive.

Stroking the cat's fur, she frowned. "What in the world am I going to do with you? You can't stay here." She glanced outside, where the snow was just beginning to let up. "And I can't put you back out there."

Max merely stretched, and rolled over on his back, looking up at the woman, sleepily. He wasn't thinking about where he was going anymore. He was too busy soaking in the warmth, the affection, the closest feeling to home as he'd ever gotten.

And perhaps he'd made a silent wish, and perhaps that wish was granted when, at the end of the day, he sat in the passenger seat of Alice's car, watching out the window as they made the hour-long drive back to Alice's home.

Their home.

Chalk it up to yet another Christmas miracle.

Chapter Text

Christmas had come a lot sooner than expected.

The holidays started with a bit of worry for the boys, as Skipper and the team had discovered that their feline friend was NOT still staying at the Koala exhibit. Talk with Leonard showed that he had awoken to Max being gone, him assuming that the penguin pests had retrieved him. Some asking around led them to the Rhino exhibit, where Roy snottily informed them that some stray had been sitting on his food as Alice was bringing him his hay. The redhead woman then proceeded to pick him up and bring him to her office. From there she had returned to finish her job, sans cat.

"I smell a conspiracy," Skipper had said, apprehension slightly eating at him as he feared the worst for his favorite feline friend.

Apparently there hadn't been a single thing to worry about. The penguins had hacked into the security cameras, and were actually relieved to see what was on the footage. Max had been alone for a while, before Alice had returned to do more work. What pleasantly surprised them was the fact the human seemed to enjoy Max's company, as she continued to pet him inbetween paperwork and checking emails. It was later on in the day, around closing time, did they hear Alice mention taking their companion home with her.

"Well well, Moon Cat," the avian leader had said with a smirk, after hours of footage, "looks like you're one smooth operator after all. Call me impressed!"

With that worry out of the way, it led to the flightless birds taking care of other troubles. Though not most important to the team, it was still rather essential as the penguins had to rally up the other zoo inhabitants to set about their yearly task of preparing for the Christmas party.

Not that that had been much of a task, in itself. Most everyone was excited about Kidsmas this year, as they were every year; even Roy would prove to be in brighter spirits this day.

By the time the penguins set out to fetch nearly every animal in the zoo for a quick briefing, they'd found the habitats empty. Everyone had already gathered in the center of the zoo, talking excitedly amongst themselves.

No one noticed the small penguin in the center of the crowd, and no one heard him when he cleared his throat. The talkative zoo members didn't quiet even after he cleared his throat a second time, and certainly no one acknowledged him on the third.

Skipper's patience was running thin, and the look on his face spelled murder. Luckily, Kowalski stepped in at that moment, and handed him a bullhorn. The squat penguin flipped it on, and the piercing screech it emitted had everyone whining and covering their ears.

"IS THIS LOUD ENOUGH? DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION NOW?" Skipper's voice boomed through the device.

"Okay, not cool." mumbled Marlene, still rubbing her ears.

"Ow, ow, ow! Was that really necessary?" questioned Roger.

"You tryin' ta make us deaf, or somethin'?" scolded Pinky.

Skipper merely tossed the bullhorn away and smirked at the crowd. At least they were paying attention now.

"No, of course not. What use are you to the cause if you can't hear me shouting out directions!" The penguins smile returned to a very displeased frown as he heard a grunt of insubordination from the crowd. He automatically recognized the tone's owner, as Skipper crossed his flippers in annoyance.

"What's your problem THIS year, Ringtail?"

"Why is it YOU who are being all in charge of dis Kidsmas thingie?" Julien made his way to the front of the crowd, as he pushed by Roy and Burt, his loyal subjects close behind. "It should be de KING'S job to be being de bossy one. Not some bossy penguin being the bossiness!"

Skipper rolled his eyes.

"Didn't we learn why LAST year? The moment I STOPPED keeping you lot in line, the whole operation almost fell through. We don't need any more snafus this time; we need to actually give these kids a well organized Christmas this year!"

The lemur glared, his hands on his hips. "Yeah well, you are saying 'organized' and I am saying that the thing that you said, is boring! I am refusing to to do the job you tried bossy-ing me into doing." Julien crossed his arms over his chest, turning up his nose in defiance.

Skipper groaned. "Well that's just dandy, except someone has to be on gingerbread house duty!"

It was Maurice and Mort to the rescue, as they stepped out from behind their king and addressed the penguin. "Uh, actually, Mort and I don't mind doing that."

"I like gingerbread." Mort added. "... And houses, yaay!"

"Okay, great, you do that. Moving on!" replied Skipper. But Julien wasn't about to let anything move on without getting what he wanted.

"Wait! I have not told you what job I am wanting this year!"

"Denied. Moving on. Again." but Skipper went ignored.

"I am thinking, that this is my shining year! This year, I want ... wait for it... to sing!" the lemur king posed dramatically, suddenly wielding a microphone.

Skipper just shook his head. "I repeat: DENIED. We already have a full singing roster, Ringtail. It's gingerbread, or nothing!"

Another zoo member then stepped forward, which wasn't too difficult, as she towered over most of the smaller animals. "Uuum... actually, I wouldn't mind being moved to the decorations committee..." Shelly, current member of the singing roster, said, throwing a wink at Rico.

Skipper could feel himself losing his cool again. Things were once again beginning to come unravelled and, once again, it was all because of Julien. He took a deep breath and shouted, "OKAY, FINE! Shelly, you're on decorations, Julien, you're on the singing roster, NOW CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON?!"

No one objected to the little fuming bird in front of them.

The ostrich slipped over to stand next to Rico, lowering her head to his level, in order to whisper to him.

"Oh! Are you on decoration duty, too? What a weird coincidence! I had no idea! Phew, I sure hope there's no weird tension business going on between us, that would be awkward."

A look of horror flashed across Rico's face, right before he face-palmed.

"Ah no..."

The weapon expert's peril went ignored, however, as all were busy focusing on the penguin in charge. Skipper gave a list of all that needed to be done for the following fourteen hours, as he separated the zoo citizen's into teams.

Big Red and Little Green: Mason and Private.

Tree Snatcher: Phil.

Game Masters: the Chameleons.

Team Gingerbread: Mort and Maurice.

Decorations Committee: Kowalski, Rico, Shelly, Bada and Bing.

Food Committee: Darla, Burt, and Ted

Present Committee: Skipper, Marlene, Pinky, and Joey

That left the choir group, which was composed of Roger, Julien, the two baboons from Darla's gang: Katie Lee and Bonnie, and Roy. The groups all went their separate ways, as they had a deadline that was rearing its head awfully fast.

7 a.m had rolled around without a single hitch.

Skipper smiled proudly as he watched the kids run about the zoo, some playing with their toys, others playing the games provided by the chameleons. His eyes found their way towards Private, however, as he happily helped one child after the next get up on Santa's lap.

"We did good, Marlene," he said to his girlfriend at his side, as she was busy taking a sip of her peanut nog. "See what gets accomplished when we don't fall victims to Ringtail's idiotic persuasions? Kidsmas magic happens!"

Marlene smiled and watched Roy and Burt having a snowball fight in half-interest. "Aw come on; the magic was there last year, too. Even with Julien... you know, being Julien."

"Well yeah, but... fewer casualties this year! That's something, right?"

An amused snort was the only reply Skipper received, before the otter leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. The penguin hesitated only a moment before wrapping a flipper around her. Public displays of affection still made the guy a bit uncomfortable, but he was trying.

His mood only soured slightly when the music began, and Julien's voice boomed through the speakers that Kowalski had strategically placed around the zoo. It astounded everyone how the self-centered lemur could twist the lyrics of even a song such as "Jingle Bells" until it was a song about himself.

Meanwhile, the last child in line to see Santa had just finished informing Mason about all of the things he was hoping for this year, before hopping off of his lap, and bouncing back to his mother. There would be more children later in the day, but now was a fine time for a short break.

Private watched the happy child with a smile. He really loved this time of year! The happiness and good cheer was just everywhere, and there was no other time of year in which the young soldier felt more at peace.

"Wow, Mason, you were great! Just look at all the kids and their happy little faces!" the penguin gushed. The chimp smiled politely, and waved a hand modestly.

"It's nothing, really! And Santa is nothing without his little helper, hm?"

Private giggled, embarrassed. Mason then stood and stretched.

"And now, if you'll excuse me, I promised Phil we could fling a little poo before things become too busy."

The penguin gaped at the chimp. "You're going to throw poo? But... it's Christmas!"

Mason chuckled. "Oh! Haha, you needn't worry; we're keeping it festive!" He produced a Christmas cookie with red and green sprinkles, and grinned before taking a bite to prove his point, before taking off to find his friend.

Private watched the chimp meet up with his friend and frowned. Some species were just really really weird. But who was he to judge how other animals celebrated the holidays? The little penguin shrugged it off with a smile, before waddling off to get himself a glass of punch. His smile grew in intensity as he went along, looking and waving at those he went by. Everybody looked so happy! So carefree! It was nice to see the whole zoo come together and just enjoy themselves!

"Except," the penguin realized, with a frown, " we're NOT all here, are we?"

No. No they were not. Unfortunately not all were there for their happy get together. Some residents, like Leonard the Koala and Barry the poison dart frog just weren't the most sociable creatures. The marsupial was terrified of everything that moved, and some that didn't, and was much too paranoid about being anywhere NEAR the penguins. Barry, on the other hand, was a living toxin maker. As such it made him really hard to get close to anybody. The frog seemed like it didn't bother him much, he went on and on about how he didn't even like any of the other animals...as well as throw insults left and right. But Private thought his lashing out was just his way of dealing with how lonely he really was.

The young penguin took a sip of his sparkling fruit punch with a frown, as his became sadder as it dawned on him that it was just them that was missing out on the festivities. There was also their guest from Hoboken, too! And unlike the others, who chose not to leave their homes, Savio literally couldn't leave without getting sick. He was locked away, alone, without anyone there to wish him a 'Merry Christmas'!

How very, very sad.

Private then had the notion of paying him a visit. However, there was a part of him that argued how that might not be that welcomed. The little penguin had tried a few times to pay him a visit, and distract the snake from whatever was troubling him...And time after time Savio would just insult him, or not talk at all! He was certainly giving off the impression that he wanted to be alone…

And yet the part of the good natured bird that wanted to spread cheer, also had a feeling- somewhere deep in his heart and gut- that maybe things weren't quite as they appeared.

"Besides, " Private argued with the negative nancy inside of him, it's Christmas! Nobody deserves to be alone!"

Elsewhere, a young porcupine sped around the corner of a snow bank, and skidded to a stop, pressing her back to the chilly surface. She gasped for breath in the chilly December air, and her eyes darted back and fourth. Had she been spotted?

Just as she'd convinced herself she was safe, she heard the brainy member of the penguin squad shouting urgently.

"LOOK OUT! IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!"

She spun around just in time to witness the snowbank she'd been using for cover explode in a fury of white fluffy debris, and out sprang a terrifying monster.

"RAAAAWR!" Rico growled. The little girl screamed as the creature pounced, but the scream dissolved into squeals and giggles as she was tickled.

But all was not lost for the poor, innocent victim! A small army arose, consisting of Kowalski and five other small children, all ready and prepared to avenge their fellow warrior.

"It's now or never, men! ... And, ladies!" Kowalski shouted to his troops. "Fire all weapons! Destroy the beast! Show no mercy!"

A barrage of snowballs rained down upon the Rico beast, most hitting home. The young porcupine he'd attacked scrambled to her feet and joined the others in the assault. Rico cried out in mock-agony as he was pelted with snow from every angle.

"Uh nooo!" he yelled, as he collapsed on the ground, covered in snow, his eyes closed and his tongue lolled out for full effect. The children cheered; the beast had been slain!

Rico stayed where he was, still playing the part of being dead, but watched from one eye as Kowalski rejoiced with the kids, high-fiving them and congratulating their perfect aim and bravery.

Another voice, this one right beside him, forced him to give up the act, however, as it startled him and made him flinch. He sat up, looked to the side, and squawked as he was suddenly face-to-face with Shelly, who was grinning.

"Oh hi, Rico! Wow, you make a great monster! Not that I've been watching your every move or anything, I just happened to be walking by, and oh! Here I am!"

Rico stood up and took a step away from the crazy ostrich, but gave a forced half-smile, nevertheless.

"Heh. 'Ank 'oo."

Shelly seemed to take him speaking to her as a good sign, and she looked around quickly. "So, uh... I don't see your doll around anywhere. You two didn't break up or anything, did you?"

The weapons expert paused in brushing the snow off of himself, and he frowned as he thought of Mrs. Perky. She hadn't taken the breakup very well, and while she'd stopped being angry, it was still awkward between them, and they didn't speak much these days.

Rico shrugged, and rubbed the back of his neck with his flipper. "Uhhm... yeah, geh w'dih..."

There was a loud gasp from the ostrich, as she faked being upset the best she could. "That's terrible! I always knew that gal was trouble. Knew it from the second I saw her!"

Rico's brow lowered in a glare; that was uncalled for.

"But Rico, I want you to know...I'm here for you, okay? Rebound relationship offer still valid, and all!" Shelly easily closed the gap between them, and pressed the side of her head up against his. The hefty bird recoiled away from the sudden intrusion upon his personal space with a scowl.

Kowalski had been busy with the children, laughing along with them, when he had thrown a look over his shoulder and all jovial feelings were immediately stolen from him;he glared. The brainy bird had been expecting to see his mate playing dead, or at least in the process of getting up to come back to him and the kids. What he HADN'T expected was to see an uncomfortable looking Rico and a bubble-intruding ostrich.

Something inside him boiled.

Kowalski wouldn't call himself a jealous creature...Sure, others would, but HE wouldn't. He liked to think he was well collected sort of guy, If something bothered the penguin, he told himself it was for a good reason. Like the fact that all of the men Doris the dolphin had been with were scum. How they weren't good enough for her in some way or another- the last one literally only using her to break out her brother- Dr. Blowhole.

Or, in this case, a very oblivious woman trying to make moves on his man!

Shelly had been trying to get close and personal to Rico for the past fourteen hours, as they all had been busy getting ready for the party. The tall penguin had been able to deal with this fine and well at the time- logically they would HAVE to share space with each other as Shelly was also on the decorations committee with the both of them. And Rico, bless his soul, had been able to focus on the task at hand. And luckily, the ditzy ostrich followed instructions well enough whenever Kowalski came over and gave her a job to do on the other side of the zoo.

Not that he did it JUST to get her away, after all.

But now, when it was leisure time and analyst could clearly see her motives...Well, he had every right to be worked up a little, didn't he? Kowalski took a deep breath before turning back to the kids and telling them a secret of all secrets. If they thought RICO was a horrible monster...oh, then they never battled with the likes of the beast "Skipperzilla"! Now THERE was a foe that needed to be knocked down a few pegs!

The children started to run off, when the little porcupine child looked up at the adut quizzically.

"Aren't you coming, Mr. Kowalski?"

"Yes, in due time. Just let me go resc- I mean, let me go fetch my companion real quick." He smiled. "With the likes of Skipperzilla, we need all the help we can get!"

The children scurrying off, the smirk stayed on his face as he heard the children shout at the mammal and bird couple- the kids believing that Skipperzilla had taken the beautiful woman hostage. Kowalski found himself chuckling to himself as the children tackled the leader to the ground. The scientist was sure Skipper could handle them all for a moment or so.

He had more urgent matters to take care of, after all.

Meanwhile, Rico was finding it more and more difficult to keep his promise of minimal violence this year, as the daffy ostrich continued her onslaught of chatter. He wasn't really listening anymore and had long since ceased to reply with words. The glaring and annoyed grunts were evidently failing to get his point across.

There comes a point when patience and manners just run out, and for Rico, that tended to happen sooner than with most. It was time to just... walk away. Literally. Rico began walking away, intent on leaving Shelly to talk to herself.

But that didn't happen.

"'Ey!" he grunted, as the bird's lanky neck suddenly stretched out in front of him, halting his escape. She asked him where he was going, panic evident in her voice. Rico merely growled at the ostrich, but it did not have the desired effect.

Shelly looked shocked for a second, then looked up at him, flirtatiously.

"Rico, you animal! Are you flirting with me?"

It was the hefty penguin's turn to looked shocked, and he wrinkled his beak in disgust. "Wha?!"

But his expression changed in an instant, a complete one-eighty from disgust to relief, joy, excitement, as he glanced up to see Kowalski hastily making his way toward them. Rico waved wildly at his approaching mate.

"'Ey, ihs K'walki! Hi K'walski!"

"Rico! THERE you are," the scientist said overly happy, as he got inbetween the hefty penguin and the ostrich. He continued ecstatically, as if he didn't realized Shelly was even there. "Rico, babe, no time to be standing here out in the snow, by your lonesome. COMPLETELY ALONE and by nobody of importance. C'mon, uh, sweet thang, the kids and I need you to help us take down Skipper!"

Rico wasn't sure what was going on, but he found himself amused anyway as his lover tried pushing him away from his spot. Unfortunately, both were stopped in their tracks as the large bird behind them cleared their throat loudly, and squawked out in an overly sweet tone that spoke of nothing but aggravation under its surface.

"HELLO, there. Kowalski, was it? Rico's friend, right?"

Kowalski visibly flinched, before nervously turning around. Apparently he hadn't thought too ahead in his plan, and he had hoped that simply dashing in and dashing out would save them all from the awkwardness.

He was wrong.

Terribly wrong.

The analyst cleared his throat as he looked up at the woman looking down at them.

"Ah, Shelly. Hello. Didn't see you there. Enjoying the party?"

Her fake smile slipped slightly. "We were enjoying it just fine! You know, we, as in Rico and me? ... Without you?"

Kowalski's face clouded with annoyance, bordering on anger at that comment, but before he could retort, Shelly continued in a soft, almost coddling tone.

"Kowalski... spending time with your friends is just GREAT on normal days, or holidays no one cares about, but Christmas should be about spending it with the ones you love! You know... romance?" she cooed, waggling her brow at Rico, who groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Yes! That is precisely what I've been trying to-"

"You just aren't being fair! You know what you're being? Selfish! And rude! And, and nosey! You shouldn't be standing in Rico's way of true happiness, just because you don't have a lady in your life. Some people."

The scientist's reply ended up being nothing but a startled yelp as he was grabbed and dipped low, looking up at Rico's half-lidded eyes and smirk before he realized what had happened. Kowalski opened his beak to ask what he was doing, but Rico's beak covered his at that moment, and it was hard to ask anything with someone else's tongue in your beak.

The analyst wasn't sure if he should be embarrassed or impressed by his mate's quick thinking, as he heard Shelly gasp in shock. Kowalski could feel the smirk through their kiss, as Rico moaned for added effect. He found himself breathless as the weapons expert pulled away, though not relinquishing his hold on the taller penguin. Kowalski managed to look over at the ostrich long enough to take in her confusion, before his head whipped back towards his lover who opened his mouth to speak.

"Al'eady 'appy," He said to Shelly with genuine tones, before snuggling closer to the analyst. "In'et ight, 'Walski?"

Though blushing fiercely, Kowalski managed to beam fondly at the hefty penguin, even if he couldn't manage to look at him.

"Indeed, Rico."

Shelly gaped at the scene in front of her for a long time. It wasn't quite making sense, and as soon as it did, instead of being angry or heartbroken, she let out a short whoop of laughter.

"Haha! Oh boy, silly, silly me! How could I have been so blind? I thought, haha! All this time, I thought you were a BOY penguin, Kowalski. Isn't that just the funniest thing?"

It was funny, at least to Rico, and the fact the ostrich seemed serious only made it funnier.

"Eeheheheheh!" he cackled.

But Kowalski failed to find the humor in that at all, and he glared daggers at Shelly.

"Now wait just a nanosecond here, I am a ma-"

"Oh! Well, I guess I missed my chance, yet again. Stupid, stupid Shelly!" she interrupted, punctuating each "stupid" by thudding her head against the nearby light pole. Then she sighed, hung her head, and turned to leave.

"I won't get in your way then, Rico. And I won't even kidnap her and throw her in the dumpster, like last time! Ha!" she said, and began walking away.

"So don't bother looking there." she called back over her shoulder.

Rico and Kowalski watched her leave, and Kowalski shuddered.

"Buuh! She absolutely gives me the creeps!"

"Uh-huh."

Suddenly, the sound of children squealing and yelling, along with Skipper's cry of peril, drifted across the zoo, and the two were reminded of what it was they were supposed to be doing. They exchanged knowing glances before hurrying off to help slay the dreaded Skipperzilla.

Or perhaps rescue Skipperzilla from the children.

"And wondeeers and wonders of my looove! Happy Julianuary, my most loyalist of subject peoples!"

King Julien finished his last song with a bow, as the royal took in the sound of clapping. He was far too into his groove to realize that it had only been Maurice and Mort who were actually doing it, as the king pretty much went ignored by everyone who WASN'T in the choir...But hey, nobody was going to tell HIM that.

"Dank you, yes, I am knowing you are loving your king!" Julien was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat, as he whipped his head to the side to glare. "What? What is it? Can't you see the crowd is eatin' dis up?!"

Roger, who had been busy playing the piano that the lemur had been using as a stage all this time, flinched back from the loud tones. The alligator swallowed down his nervousness, as he continued onward.

"Oh, yes, sorry about that, King Julien. It's just...well, we've been doing this for a while now...don't you think if might be time to take a break?"

Julien thought this over.

"Hmm, you might be having somethin' there. De king's kingly and soothing voice could use a break. Gotta keep it lovely for my peeps, you know what I am meaning?" He laughed to himself before hopping off the stage and turning to the rest of the choir. He clapped his hands, as if to try and get their attention. "Alright, you may be having dis here break. Your king has some partying he must be doing, after all. Take twenty."

Most of the choir rolled their eyes, before dispersing. Roy joined up with Bing, and the baboons went to try some of Darla's famous fruit chilli they had been craving for hours. While they were all going off to do their own thing, Roger got up to pick up the boom box not far away from the piano, and placed it on top of it. He pushed play as more music poured out from its speakers.

"There, that should hold everyone over for a while."

Satisfied with the cheery holiday music that now danced in the chilly December air, Roger pulled his large winter jacket tighter around him and stepped away to find someone to mingle with.

It didn't take long to spot the bright pink flamingo across the way, chatting happily with Burt. The alligator sighed dreamily and just watched for a while. He had really messed up with Pinky, hadn't he? Completely ruined any chance he may have had with the lovely bird.

"I don't think she is noticing you, you need to be getting closer!"

Roger jumped as Julien was suddenly right next to his head.

"King Julien? What, but- oh! I wasn't being too obvious, was I? Being inconspicuous is so hard for an alligator..."

The lemur smiled. "Yes. You were being as obvious as Maurice's ginormous booty is being. But don't worry! My insides are filled with the warm fuzzy feelings of this super awesome holiday that is all about our most loved savior and important guy, King Julien. And because of dat, I have decided to give you more advice to get the pretty lady bird you were staring at over there."

Roger felt that old familiar sensation of his stomach dropping out. Julien really had that effect on him. He briefly wondered if it was just him, or if the guy was just a natural with making others nervous and uncomfortable.

"Oh, uh, King Julien, I don't think I-"

The mammal was on his snout now, inches from his eyes. "Shh! Make less of the talking, and more of the hearing what I am saying to you now, okay?"

Roger sighed and frowned, but didn't say another word, and Julien clapped.

"Oh-ho-ho you are good with the shutting up! Okay, now, what it is you should be doing is, of course...shake dat booty!" the mammal hopped down to the ground and began shaking his own behind, which turned into a full-out boogie.

Roger watched him, confused. "Ah, hi, question real quick? How is that supposed to help my situation in any way?"

"It will be helping you, by wooing your pink lady friend! Have you not been paying up with the attentions? Let the boogie to the talking, man! Ask her to dance!"

And with that, the royal lemur either grew bored with the conversation, or his attention span ran out, as he laughed and danced away, already shouting to Joey, who was chugging peanutnog over by the food table.

Roger sighed. Dancing? Oh, he wasn't so sure about that. Not that he was terrible at it- in fact, Roger liked to think he could be very graceful on his feet. However -and the reptile could admit that his earlier experiences with the lemur king's plans factored into his doubt - he didn't really see how THAT, of all things, could win the flamingo over. In fact, that just sounded like another embarrassment WAITING to happen!

But as Roger looked and watched Pinky some more, he began to realize that it wasn't as if he could make the situation any worse. If anything, the colorful bird must have already saw the alligator as a very strange person by now- what with his behavior that had been towards them as of late. And...and...And there was a part of him that lit up with hope, at just the mere thought of having a chance with them.

The song on the boom box changed from the Christmas songs abruptly, as a more sultry energetic tune played. Only for a second did Roger find this curious, for he didn't RECALL there being anything but holiday tunes on the cd he had acquired for the occasion. He smiled all the same, however, as he realized it was flamenco music. The reptile's eyes landed on his crush once more, as he managed to find the confidence he needed. Powered by the flamenco, he made his way over towards them.

"Ah, yes, excuse me," Roger said, as he interrupted the elephant and bird during their conversation. "I'm sorry for being so rude- truly I am- but...Uh, I was kinda wondering if Pinky would do me the honor and...maybe give me this dance?"

It was only afterwards did he find himself growing nervous, as he realized that did NOT come off as smooth as he had planned it to.

Pinky looked up at the alligator, who was grinning sheepishly. And what a grin! Had he just asked them to dance? Wasn't that a romance thing? M-hm. Looked like the rumors had been true; Roger really did have a crush on the flamingo. And was that such a bad thing? He certainly was a charming reptile. A little weird, sure, but still charming.

The flamingo smirked at the alligator, knowingly. "Well sure, baby. I thought you'd never ask. Excuse me, Burt."

"Sure thing, Pinky! You two have fun, now!" the elephant replied with a wink.

Even as the two took center stage- or rather, a less-crowded lot in the center of the party- Roger couldn't stop smiling. Nor could he stop the butterflies in his stomach. Pinky had said yes. He hadn't been turned down, even after his courting attempts had ended so horrendously. That was enough to fill his chest up with determination, as Roger raised his arms above his head. He looked into the flamingo's eyes with fondness, as he began to clap.

The dance had begun.

The alligator, as he clapped to the music, began to stomp his feet on the fallen snow. His boots made a crunching sound, as it became packed under his weight. Pinky was amused by the human imitation of their species, but smiled as they followed suit. The flamingo raised their wings above their head, neck long and straight and pointed towards the heavens. As Roger clapped for both of them, the bird began moving their hips, having one leg dance in front of the other as both the animals began circling each other. Both began to move their arms, making sure to keep one held high as they alternated with quick but graceful flicks. Each time they circled the other, making one full rotation, their bodies found themselves coming closer and closer.

Finally their bodies clashed, one reptilian arms wrapped gently around Pinky's colorfully feathered body, as they- in turn- draped their wing over his backside. Looking into each others' eyes, the world around them became lost as they focused only on each other. Pinky smiled a bit grandiosely as they broke away, with a twirl, as they began sweeping their wings downward and then back up again. The flamingo did this a few times, looking as if they were dancing with large feathered fans. Roger had to continuously remind himself that he was in the middle of performing, as he found himself wanting to watch the lovely bird entirely.

The alligator- as his dance partner stood in place, swishing their wings in a colorful display- began circling around them. He danced close, moving his arms in a similar fashion as the flamingo. Once to their backside, he let his mitt covered claws gently brush against them, so quick and so soft, before continuing around. Once back in front of them again, Pinky closed the distance between them, draping their feathered arms over Roger's large frame, before sweeping them down the sides of his body. A swift turn, and then the flamingo's backside was to the reptile's front; one wing above their head and around their partner's neck, as the other rested on the mitt against their side.

Roger found himself growing warm and shy as he took in Pinky's sultry expression.

The exotic melody had ended, but the reptile barely noticed, in fact, would have kept on dancing, had the flamingo in his arms not spoken, breaking the trance he'd been under.

"Roger, that was fantastic. Why didn't you say somethin' sooner?"

Roger looked away, embarrassed, and shrugged. "Oh, well, it's impolite to brag, and I mean I'm not THAT good, it's just-"

"No, ya crazy, I'm talkin' about this, us! Why didn't you fess up your feelings before this?"

Oh. The alligator's grin faltered.

"Oh. um, yeah, about that... I tried, I really did! I just didn't know how to go about it, is all. Sorry about the... y'know, the everything, really."

Pinky shook their head with a smirk. "Don't worry about it, baby. You up for more dancin'? This is my jam, sugar!"

Roger smiled wide, that delightful fluttery feeling had returned. "Oh, absolutely! That would make me the happiest alligator in the world."

And so they did. Song after song, mostly Christmas tunes after that, they stole the show, and it didn't take long before nearly everyone at the party was watching the couple move across the makeshift dance floor gracefully. Even the children stopped to watch for a few moments, before growing bored and scurrying off to embark on more simulated Christmas adventures.

It was the king, however, that watched them the happiest- for once not caring that they were stealing the show.

Snow crunched under Private's feet as he walked along, the party far behind him. He was careful during his journey, as he made sure not to spill the cup of nog he was holding. It wasn't for him, after all, and it would be a shame to have it pour all over the ground. The penguin made it to his first stop with little trouble, as the koala habitat was filled with snoring. It was a real shame about Leonard being nocturnal, as he was missing the party. But, Private supposed, it wouldn't hurt to leave him a little something. Besides, the festivities wouldn't be ending until way after sundown. There was still time for him to make it, if he chose to.

After leaving the cup where the marsupial would hopefully find it, Private continued to waddle off to his next destination: the reptile house. Thankfully it wasn't too far from Leonard's place, as he got there in no time at all. He opened the door, careful about the noise he was making, on the off chance Barry was asleep, as he made his way inside. Barry was awake, it seemed, as he was flipping through a magazine about candy covered insects.

Well, Private sure knew what to get him for his birthday now.

The frog glanced up halfheartedly when Private stepped inside, but didn't bother getting up or setting aside his magazine.

"Oh look, it's the eighth dwarf; Dorky!"

Private actually managed a glower at that, as he reached up to straighten his hat. "I'm not a dwarf, I'm an elf! One of Santa's happy little helpers, in fact."

"Nah." replied Barry, already back to looking through the magazine. "Dorky dwarf definitely suits you better."

The penguin didn't reply, but he was frowning as he passed Barry's tank.

"The hat certainly does make for an interesting garnish." came Savio's voice. Private looked up and his smile returned.

"Oh, Savio, you're awake! That's great!"

The snake rolled his eyes. "Who can sleep through all of that noise outside?"

Private stopped and listened. It was true; you could hear the music in there, too. He wondered if those outside of the zoo could hear it, too. He hoped that wouldn't end up being a problem.

"I suppose you do have a point...Though, I AM happy to see you up. I can't imagine all that sleep is good for you. "

Savio frowned.

"There isn't much one can do when they do not have the pleasure of leaving their temporary home. Only so much I can stand staring at these luscious pictures of fake jungle backgrounds. And one doesn't need to mention the riveting conversations skills of my neighbors." The boa glared at the direction of the poison dart frog exhibit, before shrugging it off as he rolled himself back into a cozy ball as he lazily glanced back at the penguin. "So, as they say: 'que será será'."

Private looked sympathetically at the snake, taking off his hat as he gently played with it in his flippers.

"I'm so sorry, Savio. Really. I really do wish your tank hadn't broke, if not for the sake you'd feel more comfortable in your own home. You must really miss Hoboken by now…"

There was a forlorn sigh from the snake. "It is not Hoboken I am missing, so much."

The little penguin tilted his head. "It isn't? Then why do you seem so sad?"

There was a long silence, and Private had just about decided Savio wasn't going to answer him at all. But finally, the boa uncurled himself enough to turn and look out at his guest.

"It is more about the who, than the what, I suppose. I miss... my friend. I know; that sounds ridiculous coming from someone such as myself. But, it is true."

Now Private was smiling; would the Christmas miracles never cease?

"No, that's not ridiculous at all! Savio, it's really kind of sweet that you care about someone enough to miss them! And I'm sure they miss you just as much."

Private was really glad he'd stopped by now. His hunch had been right; Savio was lonely.

"I do not think so. We did not part during a happy occasion."

Keeping a smile up wasn't easy around such an unpredictable being, and the bird found his waning. "Oh, well, I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad. What's a little argument between friends?"

"I tried to eat him." replied the snake, flatly.

"Well...that does put a more of a damper on things, doesn't it?"

The snake actually found himself feeling saddened, though he tried to glare at the holiday treat in front of him. It didn't last long, however, as Savio sighed once more. This was ridiculous. Why was he even talking about this...inconvenience at all, let alone with his ex-meal? Surely this was all just trifle, nothing but an onset of winter depression. Savio could admit he found himself in the least jovial spirits once the weather became cold.

But the thing was...This felt different. Winter depression left him in a state of depleted energy, almost as if the boa was going into hibernation of sorts. He did nothing but sleep and try to remain warm until it was all over. Besides the chill, nothing really bothered him. He was mostly content, as he waited for Spring to wake up his body and mind.

Except, this time, nothing brought Savio peace. He was sad, but worst of off...he felt empty. Not in the sense that he was starving for food- meals had been interesting him less and less as the days went by. No, it was his stomach that begged to be filled. He felt a void in his days. He felt the need to have somebody ramble to him about nonsense at a million miles per minute, seemingly not even stopping for breath. Savio needed someone to be genuinely happy to see him, even if that mere notion was craziness alone.

Yet, it couldn't be just anybody.

It had to be Clemson.

"It has been very troubling for me, " Savio admitted to his feathered guest. "It is not natural for one to find their meals charming. Makes it harder to live when one sees dinner as their equal. And yet it never created a longing in me. I did not desire friendship, nor did I even enjoy his visits at first. But as the days grew colder, and as I was forced to stay in my seclosure, he made it his mission to make sure I wasn't alone. Whether it was for my own needs, or his desire to ramble off at anyone who could not push him away...I do not know. Still, I found myself appreciating it all the same.

"However," the snake paused as he rested his head back on his bundle of self, finding little comfort in the action, " I am now fearing that I let my stomach get the better of me. Even when I do return, I am doubting he will desire to visit me ever again."

The emotional moment was upended when Private laughed at the snake's confession. Savio's head snapped up, and he stared at the penguin. That hadn't been very good guy-like.

But the look Private was giving him was not one of harsh intentions. "Oh, Savio, true friendship doesn't work that way! And I know a thing or two about friendship." The little penguin frowned. "Except when it isn't friendship at all, and things get weird, and you wake up screaming night after night from dreams about Rico and Kowalski kissing."

Savio continued to stare at the bird in front of him, unable to respond. He'd thought the little one was the sane one, but now he was beginning to question that. Soon Private's troubled expression turned cheery again, as if the scarring images had never plagued his mind at all.

"But I'm better now, and your friend is not going to desert you over something as silly as a little misunderstanding!"

"No, it was pretty much understood that I wanted to eat him."

Private threw his flippers up in frustration and groaned. "You need to work with me here, Savio! What I'm trying to say is this; what you explained to me is real friendship! I'm assuming. So just apologize, when you can... and maybe try harder not to eat your friends in the future. I'll help you practice, if you'd like..."

The snake gave the penguin a look. He couldn't be serious. While Savio didn't consider himself a bad character, per say, he knew his place in the animal kingdom. A boa constrictor was high on the food chain, a predator. It was unreasonable to ask of him not to eat what he needed for sustenance. What he needed to survive.

However it wasn't often that he considered those below him a friend, either.

Savio looked the penguin over, as he unwrapped himself and came closer to the glass. He raised a brow.

"I suppose being able to control oneself around those they desire to keep with them longer than a meal would be an asset. " The snake hissed, " And I would like to show Clemson that he need not worry."

Private found his eyes widen at the mention of Clemson, but before he could say anything- or even THINK about saying anything- the boa continued.

"All right. I shall try what you suggest, little one. Though, I won't be changing my diet altogether. So...if I am to be thinking of you outside of lunch, what am I to be calling you? I must admit, I never cared too much to learn you pingüinos names."

The young bird smiled.

"'Private'. Everyone calls me that, which is good because it happens to be my name!"

"Private", Savio said, as if testing the name on his tongue. "It is, at the very least, easy to remember."

And so the two enjoyed each other's company for the rest of the day. The penguin talked about what the party, as well as what lead up to it. He talked of Christmases past. He talked of his favorite show from the telly, as well as his friends and family. Private had soon figured out, even when in a good mood, the snake was not much of a talker. And there were even a few times he had worried that Savio had fallen asleep on him. But the snake would ask a question from time to time, fueling the youth and letting him talk all the more. And sometimes Private would ask his own question: What was Hoboken like? Did he get along with anyone else there? Were they always nasty, even when they weren't up to anything evil? Savio found his spirits lift some, as he told of his home and the people there. And how he had a running joke about trying to eat the resident puffin. That didn't seem to make the penguin chuckle as much as it made him. He went on to talk about Clemson and his antics, and found himself smiling all the while.

By the time Private had left to rejoin his own friends, hours later, Savio sighed once more- this time in content. He may have still missed his friend...But maybe, just maybe, he was making another.