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Ward was the first to show up, which wasn’t a surprise, not really. May didn’t know what they were, didn’t want to define it, but she willing to offer him comfort when he needed it.
He knocked on the door softly and when she opened it simply stood there, looking at her until she moved aside to let him in. He walked into the room but didn’t make a move to sit on the bed or relax in any way. He rubbed absently at the bandage on his shoulder.
The door shut, and Ward looked at her. May could see he was fighting hard to keep his “I’m a SHIELD agent” persona intact, but it blurred around the edges.
“I just –” Ward said and stopped.
“It’s okay,” May said, moving past him back to the bed.
Coulson’s kidnapping had hit him hard. It had hit them all hard. May was sure they blamed themselves as much as she did herself. Somehow, they should’ve seen it coming, done something, stopped it.
Ward was still standing in the middle of the room, so May gestured to him to come sit. He did but moved stiffly, so stiffly he almost looked like the robot Skye still insisted he was. Then he just sat, back straight. He looked everywhere around the room, mainly she suspected to keep it from seeming like he was staring at her. He looked so pitiful, particularly when he went back to rubbing the bandage that she almost wanted to laugh.
“Go ahead,” she said, and Ward finally looked at her, his insecurity written across his face. She nodded to reassure him, and he laid down with his head in her lap. It should’ve been ridiculous, but it wasn’t. This was what worked for them, what she knew Ward needed. She stroked his hair.
“Are we going to get him back?” Ward asked softly. She knew exactly who he was talking about.
“Of course,” she said. Because he needed to hear it in that moment. “We’ll try,” she added because she didn’t quite believe it.
She felt Ward shudder, but there was nothing she could do. She wouldn’t lie to him, to any of them. Getting Coulson back would be hard, if not damn near impossible. But they had to try, she knew that. She kept stroking his hair.
They stayed like that. In silence. It was relaxing. There wasn’t enough silence on this job.
But of course it couldn’t last. The door slid open, and Ward sprang off her lap. Skye entered the room without asking but stopped short when she saw Ward. “Oh,” she said. “Sorry. I’ll go.”
May wondered if Skye hadn’t been hit hardest by Coulson’s kidnapping. The normally upbeat girl had been subdued, throwing herself into the search for her mother, which wouldn’t turn out well for anyone. But May didn’t have the heart to take that away from her too. Someone on the Bus needed to have some measure of hope, however small.
“It’s fine, Skye,” May said. “What did you need?” No matter how tactless Skye could be, May knew the girl wouldn’t have come to her if it wasn’t important on some level.
Skye shook her head and turned to leave. May stood and walked over to her, and Skye turned back. Her eyes were rimmed with red.
“Come on,” May said. She took Skye by the arm and gently pulled her over to the bed. They sat down next to Ward, who tried to shift away, but May took hold of his hand and squeezed briefly. Ward stayed, but he kept himself distant now. Skye burrowed herself into May’s other side.
May looked at Ward. “Lay down,” she said. She could see the surprise in his eyes. “It’s okay.” They could all use the comfort. Ward cast a wary look at Skye before settling back down, his head in May’s lap again.
“We have to find him,” Skye murmured after a moment.
Ward startled at the sound of her voice, but May put a calming hand on his head. “We’ll try,” she told Skye.
“We have to,” Skye insisted. This time, May met the statement with silence. She agreed with Skye, but she had a harder time convincing herself that finding Coulson was even possible.
“We will,” Ward said, surprising May. But it seemed to be what Skye needed to hear. She sniffled against May’s shoulder.
There was another knock on the door. Ward and Skye both shifted to let May get up. When she opened the door, of course, FitzSimmons stood outside, clinging to each other.
“My room’s not big enough for this,” May muttered.
Fitz and Simmons both frowned, looking past May to Ward and Skye who were leaning into one another in May’s absence but were carefully not looking at each other. “Oh,” Simmons said, “we can –”
“– go,” Fitz finished for her.
Since Coulson’s kidnapping, FitzSimmons, like Skye, had been hard at work, but the pair’s emphasis was on figuring out ways to make sure something like this could never happen again. Some of the things they’d come up with were useful, some of them were scary, but they were all downright impressive.
May shook her head at their suggestion. “We can move to the lounge.”
Fitz and Simmons nodded. Simmons tried to smile, but it was tentative and disappeared quickly.
May walked out of the door and toward the lounge, and the other four trailed along after her. Skye, Fitz, and Simmons sat on the couch shoulder-to-shoulder, and Ward stood nearby. They all watched May surreptitiously when they thought she wasn’t watching.
For several minutes, no one said anything. The three kids on the couch huddled closer together, wrapping their arms around each other. Ward leaned over them, hands resting on the back of the couch.
May stared hard at each of them. They all returned the stare, every last one of them. If there was one good thing about Coulson’s kidnapping, it was that the trauma had toughened them up some, though it didn’t quite seem worth it.
“Coulson’s gone,” she said, and they all flinched. Good. Having to be strong hadn’t broken them yet. “We will try to recover him, if at all possible. But you need to be prepared for the event that it isn’t possible. Just in case.”
They all nodded.
“But he’ll be all right, won’t he?” Simmons asked, voice small.
“He has to be,” Fitz said. “He’s Coulson.”
“AC can do anything,” Skye added.
May didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. Her silence spoke for her. Simmons sniffled and laid her head on Fitz’s shoulder. He looked like he was fighting back tears himself.
Skye bit her lip and looked away. Ward moved his hand to her shoulder and looked across the room at May with accusing eyes. May shrugged slightly. It was entirely probably that Coulson wasn’t okay. She hoped that wasn’t the case, but they needed to know it was likely. Lying to them, giving them false hope wouldn’t do them any good.
May let them have a moment to their grief while she went to the nearest closet and pulled out a couple blankets. When she returned to the lounge, Skye, Fitz, and Simmons had shifted, curling up together on the couch as much as possible. It didn’t look that comfortable, but May wasn’t going to deny them the companionship.
She draped one blanket over FitzSimmons, one over Skye, and handed the last one to Ward. “Watch out for them,” she told him.
Ward surprised her by handing the blanket back to her and moving around the couch to slip under FitzSimmons’ blanket. They shifted to let him under, even though the blanket didn’t quite cover all three of them.
May watched them for a moment. She hoped they could find the solace they needed, even if she couldn’t. She turned to leave them in peace when Ward grabbed her hand.
“Stay,” he said. “We’d like you to stay.”
She looked at the couch to find everyone staring back at her.
“Yeah, stay,” Skye said quietly.
“Please?” Simmons added.
May hesitated a moment but walked around the couch and settled down between Skye and Simmons, who both snuggled closer to her. Maybe she could find some measure of solace after all.
And then they could work on getting Coulson back. Together.