Chapter Text
Why?
Why was he so scared suddenly?
What reason was there for it? Seriff swallowed thickly, chills running down his spine while he ran through all the possible reasons that could have set him off. Nothing. There had been nothing. All he had done was spend some legit quality time with everyone. He enjoyed himself for once. What so wrong about that? What was wrong with being happy-
He froze, flexing his numb phalanges.
He had been happy.
When did being happy ever work out for him?
His breathing hitched as he gripped his dresser tightly. Every time he was happy, fate decided to be cruel. They would take everything from him.
They took his parents.
They took his freedom.
They took his arm.
They took his brother.
They took his Papy....
"uh, seriff? you doin' okay in there? sounds like something is..."
The voice from outside the Aussie's room seemed to fade in and out, as though coming from a distance, and the last part was unheard. Suddenly, there was a face in front of his, browbones pulled down in concern and eyelights dimmed in worry.
"...hey, you with me?"
Seriff flinched violently away from the face, his mind racing. When did he get in? Didn't he lock the door? Another wave of dizziness hit him, making him fall backwards (and hurting his tail) in his attempt to bring distance between him and the other... Sans? Was it another Sans? Stars he couldn't even remember anything correctly much less see.
It was indeed another Sans- UnderFell Sans, to be precise. The skeleton with the red eyelights and sharp teeth withdrew slightly at Seriff's attempt to put distance between the two, his bony hands held out in a placating gesture.
"ey, it's okay, just breathe... focus, yer fine."
He moved his hands in a slow pattern as he took exaggerated breaths, demonstrating the way Seriff should breathe. To anyone watching, this would seem like an uncharacteristic action from the angry skeleton... but he knew Seriff. The taller Sans was one of his few close friends, beyond the weird relationships between the various alternate versions of himself and his bro. He cared about the Aussie, and he knew how to help... kinda. Everyone was different.
Seriff shook slightly, but managed to force himself to breathe.
Just... do what he does....
He breathed in.
Just do what he does...
He breathed out.
Another shiver ran down his spine along with another wave terror. A whine left his throat, but he forced himself to calm down. He was fine. Lie. Everything would be fine. Lie. He wasn't alone. You're always alone. Why must you continue this lying? Oh that's right, because you're not like them...
Slowly moving closer, Red crouched beside Seriff, keeping his hands in the latter's line of sight. His smile was downturned in a concerned frown, and as carefully as he could, the shorter skeleton wrapped his arms around the taller in an awkward hug.
"relax, yer here. yer safe, and we're safe. nothing is gonna happen to us."
The edgy skeleton's eyelights glowed slightly brighter, soothing energy flowing quietly around the two. Eye-glowing was a thing that most skeletons could do to help regulate their emotions and the emotions of others, but those who didn't know of the Handplates universe generally weren't aware of this fact.
"nobody is goin' anywhere... we're all safe."
Seriff curled up into the others arms, mumbling incoherently under his breath. His magic reached out to Red's, taking in as much comfort as it could from him. The Aussie was silent for a long time afterward, his breathing now regulated and his mind calmed. He would twitch once in a while, and he would mutter or whine under his breath, but then he would go quiet once more.
Drawing back slightly to check over the Aussie skeleton, Red kept a comforting flow of magic up, and spoke after several moments of silence. "alright... ya feelin' any better?"
The younger twitched at the sudden noise, as if waking up from dozing off and muttered back an affirmative. He hurt his tail during his panic, but he would be fine soon at least. He would still have to deal with all the bullshit that came afterward, but he was used to that by now. He could suffer in silence on that at least.
In order to understand what had triggered this state, Red had to ask some questions. The rough skeleton wasn't great at being gentle with his words, but he tried his best to soften the impact, keeping his eyelights glowing brighter in that soothing way they were.
"so what got ya like this? i dun think i've ever seen ya have a panic attack before. did we do anything to set ya off?"
Seriff winced at the others words. Ah. He almost forgot about that bullshit he had to deal with. The questions. The concern. The things he didn't deserve.
"n-no. none of ya did anythin'. jus' happens sometimes. ya ever seen em cause i usually get over em pretty quick." Well sometimes. Most only lasted about 10 minutes as he managed to calm himself down before they got too bad. The rare ones lasted about... 30, 40 minutes?
Shifting his position, Red sat beside his alternate, leaning in and keeping an arm around the other's shoulder both as a form of comfort and restraint. Stars knew he'd try to avoid a conversation like this by teleporting away, and teleporting was more difficult when you were in contact with something you didn't with to teleport with... He didn't want Seriff to avoid this.
"look... i have 'em sometimes myself. yer droppin' now, right? tiredness settling in, maybe a few negative thoughts here and there. try to think of some things that keep you goin', and if ya can, tell me about 'em."
Seriff fidgeted, swallowing thickly at the others words.
What kept him going?
What indeed? Everyone knows a monster's soul is white because it's composed of the color spectrum. Such bright colors. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green.... His soul was made of them too...
J u s t n o t t h e s a m e s h a d e s =)
Seriff forced himself to breathe. It wouldn't do to have another episode. Not here. Not now. Not in front of someone else.
"music." He finally breathed out, "i uh. used t'play piano when i was an ankle biter. sometimes wh-when i'm over at blooks house, we uh... we talk bout different ways to remix songs."
"a'right. think i can help ya with that." Stuffing his free hand into his jacket pocket and shuffling around a bit, the older skeleton pulled out his phone and some earbuds. The latter item was untangled, one end handed to Seriff and the other plugged into the phone, and Red quietly scrolled through his music for some songs that might help.
"'ere, i'll be right back. listen to this shit, and don't go anywhere. i'm gettin' us some grillby's."
Seriff nodded, taking the earbuds and placing them where his ears would be if he had any. He leaned back against his bed frame, fiddling with the playlist by scrolling up and down, but not changing the song. It always irked him when someone cut off a song before it was done.
It wasn't long before Red returned, two bags of hot and greasy food ready to be devoured in one hand, and a brightly glowing drink of purple and blue swirls in the other hand. Only a song or two had passed- the joys of teleportation- and as the shorter skeleton held out a bag and the drink to Seriff, he spoke over the next song.
"gotcha fries and a burg. and one a' those magic drinks from the fridge, mixed perseverance and patience. figured the combination might help."
The drink won't do you any good. They don't effect you anymore. Don't ever forget why-
Seriff took the food and drink with a small nod towards Red, "thanks." He was too tired to talk with correct capitalization. He sighed and took a bite of his burger, his fangs flashing when he did.
The fact that Seriff had fangs was an interesting one, if not one that didn't bother Red at all. His own teeth were widely regarded as the sharpest of the various skeletons, and even they usually had fangs, so the Aussie having some quite long ones was a thing the Fell Sans merely filed away into the back of his skull as he dug into his own food.
It was all too soon that Red had to leave- work back in his own universe being necessary- and the short skeleton crumpled up the empty bag. "a'right, if ya need anything, shoot me a text or ask one of the others or something. get some rest, 'kay?"
Seriff nodded numbly, finishing off his drink with a final swig. "i'd... actually rather prefer if you didn't tell the others." He muttered, getting up. His movement was sluggish and shaky, but stable. "thanks for the food."
Watching the taller skeleton, letting him move on his own, Red responded by stuffing his hands in his hoodie pockets and sending a wink Seriff's way. "no prob. and uh, sure. as long as ya come to me when ya need to, 'kay?"
Seriff nodded, giving a small smile towards his shorter fell counterpart. "yah. i'll be sure to text ya."
"cya." With that, the Fell Sans was gone, teleported away downstairs.
Seriff waited until he was alone again to fall on his bed and frown.
Being happy never works out for him...