Archive of Our Own ^beta

“How long did you say they’d be gone?” Keith asked Allura.

“About another six varga.” She replied, not looking up from the data pad she held in her hands.

Keith, Allura, Pidge, and Coran were the only ones on the castle currently and they were all sitting in the lounge of the ship. Keith had just finished a particularly intense training session, his hair still slightly damp from the shower he had taken afterwards. Allura was seated next to him, looking over some data from the planet they were about to visit. Coran was on the far side of the couch and seemed to be in deep conversation with the four mice. Keith briefly wondered if he could actually understand them. Pidge was seated across from Keith, legs crossed and their laptop on their lap. Keith could hear their fingers pounding against the keyboard at lightning speed.

Overall, the mood of the day was peaceful and quiet. Everyone seemed to be relaxed and engrossed in their current activity. Everyone, that is, except for Keith.

Earlier that day Allura had announced that she needed three of the paladins to go on a small diplomatic mission to a nearby planet. Shiro had decided that he, Hunk, and Lance would go since they were the most likely to not cause tension between the planet’s inhabitants and the team. Keith could admit that Shiro made the right decision; he didn’t have the greatest record when it came to diplomatic meetings. He also knew that Pidge had a hard time holding their tongue when it came to witty comebacks and sassy remarks. That didn’t mean, though, that Keith had to be happy with Shiro’s decision. Keith didn’t like being left behind, but that wasn’t what made him irritated on this particular day.

“Okay, Keith?” Pidge said from where they were seated, not even bothering to look up from their laptop. “I’m gonna need you to take it down a few notches. I can feel the anger just radiating off of you from over here.”

“I’m not angry.” Keith snapped, glaring at Pidge.

“Okay, sure.” Pidge said sarcastically. “And I don’t pilot the green lion.”

“I’m irritated.” Keith said harshly. “There’s a difference.”

“My apologies.” Pidge said with a roll of their eyes before looking at Keith for the first time. “And, pray tell, why are you irritated ?”

Keith knew the answer to that question. He’d known since Shiro, Hunk, and Lance had left the castle why his temper had risen. But that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted Pidge to know.

“It doesn’t matter…” Keith mumbled, turning away from Pidge’s gaze.  

“Actually, I think it does.” Keith heard Allura say. He hadn’t even known she’d been paying attention to the conversation. “I’ve seen you upset before but this time you seem...antsy I think is the right word.”

Keith looked at her in surprise. Antsy? Was he that obvious?

“I’m fine.” Keith lied through clenched teeth.

“You’ve already admitted you’re irritated.” Coran chimed in. “Why not just tell us what’s bothering you?”

Keith needed to get out of this situation. He was not prepared to have a talk-through-your-feelings party. Keith stood up abruptly, not looking at the other three in the room.

“I have to go.”

He didn’t wait for the others to respond before quickly vaulting over the couch and leaving the room. He planned on spending the next six vargas stewing in his own frustration alone. Once they got back from their mission everything would go back to normal. Keith just had to wait it out.

It didn’t take Keith very long to arrive at his favorite place on the ship. It was a small observation deck that wasn’t too far from the training room. He’d found it one day after he’d finished training and was pretty sure none of the others had visited it. It was a place Keith could be alone with his thoughts...or in this case, his agitation.

However, today was not Keith’s day. As soon as he sat down in front of the large window he heard the door behind him slide open again. He turned to see Pidge leaning against the doorway, a smug look on their face.

“How’d you find me?” Keith asked, more surprised than annoyed.

“I followed you, duh. When you’re mad you tend to tune out your surroundings.” Pidge said casually.

“I do not!” Keith snapped despite the fact he knew Pidge was right. “What do you want?”

Pidge pushed themselves off the doorframe and crossed the room to sit next to Keith before answering. “I was just wondering when you were going to admit that the reason you’re so irritated is because Lance isn’t here.”

Keith froze at Pidge’s words, a sick feelings settling into the bottom of his stomach. “What?” was all he could manage to say.

“Don’t “what” me. Whenever Lance is gone you get all moody and emo.” Pidge replied.

“I-I...that doesn’t...I don’t even like…” Keith stuttered, unable to form any coherent sentences.

“Oh my god…” Pidge whispered, pinching the bridge of their nose with a sigh. “You can stop denying it. I’m not an idiot. You miss Lance.”

Keith sighed, dropping his gaze to his hands that were placed neatly in his lap. “Yeah...yeah I do.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Pidge said victoriously. “So, I can understand missing a person...but why does it make you so angry?”

Keith had already told Pidge the truth so he didn’t see the harm in confiding in them. If anything it might pass the time a little. “Because lately we’ve gotten a lot closer, ya know? And since then I’ve noticed that he’s a huge dork and an even bigger goofball but he’s also..I dunno...funny? I guess? And has a way of lightening the mood?” Keith was having trouble explaining what he meant. He felt like he wasn’t doing Lance justice but he continued in hopes that Pidge would understand. “And when he’s not here I just get…” Keith trailed off, not able to think of the right word.

“Grumpy?” Pidge offered.

Keith nodded. “Yeah. Grumpy. And then he’s not here to crack a joke to make me less grumpy so I get more grumpy and...well, you get the picture.”

“Oh I think I get the picture better than you do.” Pidge said knowingly.

“What do you mean?” Keith asked, looking at Pidge in confusion.

“Good lord you can be so oblivious.” Pidge said with a laugh. “You like him, ya dunce.”

“Well, yeah.” Keith replied, still confused. “I already told you that we’ve been getting along better.”

“No no no no no no no .” Pidge said, shaking their head. “I mean you, like, have feelings for him.”

Keith had never thought about that. Did he have feelings for Lance? He wasn’t sure. He thought back to the recent times he spent with Lance. He thought about him and Lance training together. Lance had given Keith a quick lesson on shooting in return for Keith giving him a lesson on close combat. Keith had remembered the way Lance had corrected his posture, adjusting his arms ever so slightly and telling him to relax his shoulders. Keith remembered the way he could feel his heart pound against his ribs and how his skin had tingled from where Lance had touched him.

Keith remembered when he had woken up late one night, hunger tearing at his gut. He had gone in search of something to eat in the kitchen and had found Lance there doing the exact same thing. The two ended up throwing the weirdest ingredients they could find together and daring the other to eat it. Keith had actually found himself laughing every time Lance made a face from eating something particularly bad. In the end they’d left the kitchen a mess but Keith didn’t regret a moment of it even as Coran was yelling at them the next morning.

Keith thought about those moments along with so many others. He thought about the way Lance smiled when he was pleased, radiant and breathtaking. He thought about the way Lance laughed so wholeheartedly, his head thrown back and his whole body shaking. He thought about Lance’s voice; how soft it could be when he was feeling vulnerable and insecure. He thought about Lance’s eyes and their ability to see right through Keith. His ocean blue irises changing shades with his mood.

“Holy shit…” Keith finally muttered more to himself than Pidge. “I do like him. Pidge!” Keith turned and grabbed Pidge by the shoulders, his eyes frantic. “What am I going to do?”

Pidge let out a little sigh before grabbing Keith’s wrists and prying his hands from their shoulders. “You could, and I’m just spitballing here, tell him how you feel.”

“That’s a terrible idea.” Keith said, still feeling frantic. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he just laughs at me like it’s some kinda joke? What if he does feel the same way and things get awkward?”

Pidge rolled their eyes dramatically. “Okay, I can see you’re about to hit a max level freak out so why don’t we do something to distract you?”

“Like what?” Keith asked, welcoming of anything to take his mind off of his sudden epiphany.

“I have a few ideas…” Pidge said, a mischievous smile on their face.

-----

“No!” Keith shouted, resisting the urge to throw the controller against the wall. “How the hell do I keep losing?!”

“I think you just have to admit that you suck at video games.” Pidge said, laughing and raising their controller in their hands triumphantly.

The two were currently in Pidge’s room, sitting on Pidge’s bed with snacks they’d stolen from the kitchen spread around them. Pidge had managed to figure out how to hook up the game they’d gotten from the space mall and the two had been playing it for hours. Keith, to his utter dismay, had not won a single round.

“One more round.” Keith said, feeling the need to defend his pride. “I’ll win for sure this time.”

“You’ve said that like fifty times already.” Pidge pointed out smugly.

Keith was going to reply but there was a knock on Pidge’s door a moment before it slid open.

“There you guys are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Lance said, smiling and striding into the room.

“Lance…” Keith said, completely forgetting the game. “When’d you guys get back?”

“Just a little bit ago.” Lance replied, looking at the screen and not at Keith. “I see Pidge is totally kicking your butt.” He nodded at the scores that were displayed on the screen.

“It’s more than that.” Pidge said casually. “I’ve been utterly destroying him.”

“Glad to see there’s something that you suck at.” Lance said, turning to face the two on the bed with a teasing smile. “You deserve to be taken down a few pegs.”

Keith couldn’t think of a good reply to that. He was too occupied with the look on Lance’s face. He had no idea how he didn’t notice before how easily Lance could take his breath away. Lance didn’t seem to notice Keith’s staring but Pidge certainly did.

“Hey, I remembered that I totally have something I need to work on.” Pidge said smoothly, giving a sideways glance to Keith. “We can continue this some other time, okay Keith?”

“Um...yeah.” Keith said, being pulled out of his trance and standing up. “Some other time.” He tried not to look at Lance as he left Pidge’s room but he could feel the other boy following him.

It only took a moment once the two were out of the room for Lance to catch up to Keith and walk next to him. There was silence between the two and Keith could feel his palms start to sweat. He needed to say something... anything to break the silence.

“I’m glad you made it back safe.” Keith heard himself say. Why the fuck did he say that? He had meant to say “I’m glad you guys made it back safe” but apparently his brain wasn’t working right. He blamed the boy walking next to him.

Lance gave him a slightly confused look. “You know it was just a diplomatic mission, right? It’s not like we did any fighting. If anything, the hors d’oeuvres were the closest thing to a battle that we encountered. I like spice as much as the next Cuban but those things felt like someone had just shoved a burning stick down your throat.”

Keith couldn’t help but laugh at the face of terror Lance was making at the memory. He felt some of his confidence return. “I know it wasn’t a dangerous mission but I’m still relieved to see you back safe.”

Lance didn’t respond. Keith glanced at Lance to see a curious expression cross his face. Keith felt his stomach flip. Had he said something wrong? The two walked in silence for a moment before Lance said something new.

“Ya know, Allura told me something funny.” Lance said, an odd tone to his voice that Keith couldn’t place. “She said that you were pretty pissed today and you wouldn’t tell them why.”

Keith could feel his face growing red and hoped Lance hadn’t noticed. “I...uh...was a little irritated…”

“Why?” Lance asked simply.

It was not a simple thing for Keith to answer though. Every fiber of his being was telling him to turn and run. Run away from Lance and his curious gaze and his prodding questions.

Keith wasn’t looking at Lance so he was completely unprepared for when he was suddenly shoved against the wall of the hallway they were walking in.

His back hit the wall with a slight bang that echoed down the hallway. Lance was holding him in place with one hand that was resting on Keith’s right shoulder. Keith was now forced to look at Lance whose expression had morphed from curious to mischevious. His eyes were staring straight into Keith’s and Keith knew that Lance was fully aware of how red Keith’s face was.

“Keith.” Lance said, his voice low and a smirk on his face. “Did you miss me?”

Keith couldn’t think. He could barely even breathe. All that was running through his head was how incredibly close Lance was and how Keith wanted him to be even closer. He could feel warmth radiating off of Lance and Lance’s scent invaded his senses. He could hear his heart beating a mile a minute and was worried that Lance could hear it too.

“I…” Keith said, his voice catching in his throat. His skin beneath Lance’s touch felt like it was on fire, a feeling he craved more of with each passing second.

Keith jumped a little as Lance’s other hand came down hard next to Keith’s head, causing Lance to have to take a half step closer to Keith.

“Did you, Keith? Did you miss me?” Lance voice was almost a whisper. Their faces were only inches apart and Keith thought he was going to lose his mind. He wasn’t used to Lance being so demanding but he found he kinda liked it.

“Yeah…” Keith breathed out, completely entranced by the boy so close to him. He could feel his muscles tense up slightly at his confession, his anxiety not entirely gone from the situation.

Lance let out the smallest of laughs and Keith could feel his breath caress his face. “Good.” Lance said softly, satisfied with Keith’s answer. “Because I missed you too.” Lance closed the gap between the two before Keith could even process what he had said. Lance’s mouth pressed against Keith’s in a fierce, almost desperate kiss. Keith lost all sense of his surroundings as he closed his eyes and settled into the kiss, his lips moving in perfect sync with Lance’s. All he could feel was Lance and he wanted nothing more that to be closer to him. Keith could feel Lance’s hands move from where they were pinning Keith to the wall to wrapping around Keith’s waist, pulling him from the wall and pressing him against Lance. Keith snaked his arms around Lance’s neck, tangling his fingers in his hair and effectively deepening the kiss.

Keith was unsure of how the two had ended up here and he found he didn’t really care. He had Lance and he wasn’t ever going to let him go.