Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dying is a gift, so close your eyes to rest in peace.

Those words echoed inside his head for what felt like centuries.

He didn't know how to feel, all he knew was that he didn't like this feeling.

He looked up from his shoes to see his band members, his best friends, still bowing their heads in silence for the fallen.

When the minute was up, all their heads rose.

"I just can't believe how Addy feels." Vic sighed, standing to go to his bunk.

"Addy?" Jaime asked him. As no one else knew an Addy.

"Yeah, Mitch had a younger sister, Addy. She's like a couple years younger than you two." Vic explained, pointing at Hime and Tony considering they were both 26.

"I didn't know that... She must be torn." Jaime sighed.

"So the service was today?" Mike asked, going towards the back of the bus.

"Yeah, but we're passing through Riverside tomorrow to see him.. Pay our respects." Vic told us, before finally heading back to the bunks.

"I'm going to bed. Good night, Tony." Jaime said, patting Tony on the back and headed to his bunk.

Tony lifted the corners of his lips into a kind-of smile and nodded.

"Night, Hime."

Tony sat in the same spot all night in the dark bus. He couldn't help but let the thought of inevitable death get to him.

Mitch had everything... A family, a career... and it was all taken from him in one instant.

Was all Tony could think about.

He thought about calling his mother and sister.. just for insurance... But he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Tony didn't know why Mitch's death had affected him so much.

He felt Mitch was in a better place, even though Tony didn't believe in heaven... it had to be better than this.

But Tony also thought about all the times he himself had felt on top of the world, and how his life could just end... without issue or explanation.. at any given moment.

He could be taken away from friends, family, fans... at any moment. And there wasn't anything anyone could do about it.

So he sat there, feeling for Mitch, for his wife Jolie, his sister Addy, and his baby girl Kenadee. Oh, Kenadee.

That's what got to Tony most. Mitch's family. Mitch's daughter, Kenadee.

Tony wasn't that close to Mitch, but he now wished he had been.

And he couldn't deal with that feeling. It made him feel a lot of things at once, and he didn't like it.

Tony readjusted the hat on top of his head and sighed. He buried his face in his hands.

He raised his heads and stood. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

He smiled as 'MOM' lit up on the screen as well as the dark half of the bus.

"Hey, mom." He answered before walking towards the driver of the bus, trying not to wake the others.

Chapter Text

With Adelaide

"Kena! Be careful, love!" Jolie laughed. Addy turned to see her niece climbing the stone fence.

Kenadee jumps off and skips to her mom and auntie.

Adelaide was spending the day with Jolie and Kena, lunch and visiting Mitch.

Addy smiled down at her niece and held her hand out to her. Kena took her hand and smiled back.

"I'm really glad to spend time with you, Addy" Jolie began, taking a seat at the booth they settled in at a cafe "We both are. Right, Kena?"

Kenadee nodded and smiled at Adelaide.

"I'm glad to see you guys, too." Addy forced a smile with all she had.

"I- I'm sorry Ive been so distant... I know the last thing you girls needed was being without me." Addy began to apologize.

"No, it's fine, Addy. Really. We all needed some time.." Jolie assured with a smile and ran her fingers through her daughter's blonde hair.

"I know... but I know Mitch would've wanted us to be together..." Adelaide began to choke up

Jolie took Addy's hand into her own.

"I know. and we are. I know we'll alwasy have each other. He needs us to stay strong. For Kena." Jolie said as tears formed in her eyes.

Addy smiled through tears and looked down at her beautiful niece, Kenadee. Kenadee stared at Addy wide-eyes as her diamond blue eyes began to gloss with emotion.

"It's okay, baby. Come here." Addy said and beckoned Kena towards her.

Kenadee moved from beside her mother, to the empty seat beside Addy and cuddled into her side.

"It's okay, Kena." Addy said, rubbing circles into the little girls back and kissed the top of her head.

"Auntie won't ever leave you alone. Okay, baby girl?" The elder Lucker assured to the younger.

Jolie smiled at the two with pure pride.

What I'd give for Mitch to see this, Jolie thought. Out loud, apparently.

"I'm sure he is seeing it. I'm sure he's never been more proud." Adelaide smiled and kissed the top of Kenadee's head one more time.

With Tony

The tour bus came to a complete stop at some gas station. The band began to pile out, one by one, eager to stretch their legs and get some fresh air.

Tony was the last to exit the bus. The conversation he had with his mom the previous night still hung around in his mind.

He admitted to being scared of death for the first time in forever, and his mom soothed as per usual.

Tony stood by the bus with Mike, who was watching the gas tank fill with diesel.

No words were exchanged until Mike noticed Tony' s empty stare into nothing.

"You alright, Tone?" Mike asked

"Hm..? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." Tony answered, turning the corners of his moth up into a half-smile.

"You sure?" Mike offered a genuine smile.

Tony shrugged,

"The whole Mitch thing.. It's been bugging me.." Tony admitted, "Like, It was so sudden.. We did warped with him just a couple months ago, and now.. he's gone..."

"I know what you mean, man." Mike assured, and pat Tony on the back.

"But it'll all be alright, man. None of us are meant to live forever... Just fast and fun.." Mike continued, walking over to the as pump and removing the nozzle from the bus.

"Maybe visiting Mitch will help... Maybe ease the nerves.." Mike suggested.

Tony nodded and smiled at him, genuinely this time.

"Thanks, man."

Mike nodded at the younger, and joined Jaime and Vic in the convenience store across the lot.

Tony sighed and looked down at his shoes, the pit of fear still aching in his gut.

Chapter Text

WIth Adelaide

"The weather is nice today.." Jolie began, trying to chat.

"Don't do that.." Addy sighed, and looked at her sister-in-law with sad eyes.

"Do what?" Jolie asked, and looked at Adelaide curiously.

"Don't force small chat, Jolie. It's too early to get back to normal..." Addy began

"Addy," Jolie interrupted.

"It is for me, anyway," The younger Lucker finished and crossed her arms over her chest, and turning to see her niece play in the flowers by Mitch's grave.

"Addy," Jolie repeated, more stern this time. Addy didn't turn to her.

Jolie sighed and continued, "Mitch wouldn't want to see you like this. I know it's only been a week, and I know it's been hard on you. It's been hard on all of us. But, like you said, he wouldn't want you being alone through this either. He loved you just as much as you loved him, Addy. You can't forget that."

Adelaide squeezed her eyes shut, as tears threatened to spill.

She turned to face Jolie and put her hand over her mouth and shook her head. She felt hot tears slip down her cheeks and breathing became much more difficult

Jolie eliminated most of the space between her and Addy fairly quickly and held her tight. She rubbed her back in circular motions to calm her.

"Shh. It's okay, Addy. Losing Mitch was the worst thing in the world for me. I lost my husband, Kena lost her daddy. Your mom lost her son, and the boys lost their leader. You're not the only one to lose someone, Addy." Jolie said softly.

Adelaide pushed Jolie away, immediately feeling the sting that her words sent.

"Yeah. But the difference between me losing Mitch, and you losing Mitch, is that you have people to fall back on. The difference between Kena losing Mitch is that she'll have you, and i and everyone around her for comfort," Addy began, the tears spilling faster and faster, "The difference between Suicide Silence losing Mitch is that they'll at least have each other..."

Jolie Looked at Addy with sad eyes, full of regret.

"What the fuck do I have, Jolie?" Addy continued, "Who the fuck do I have?"

"To live for, to wake up for? To comfort me, to protect me? Who is it you thought I had? Mitch was all I had, Mitch and Kena were, and continue to be, my everything. And if you think I'm going to count on a five year old to protect and take care of my sorry ass like her daddy did, you've got me fucked up." Adelaide finished and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Adelaide had never argued with Jolie. Never

They were practically sisters ever since Mitch introduced them. They never disagreed, let alone fought.

That's what left Jolie speechless.

She continued to look at Addy with sorry eyes, and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Addy. Truly," Jolie began, "If you want to be alone, that's fine. I understand that completely. Just know that you're welcome to call or visit Me and Kena whenever. Okay? Not matter what time of day. We'll be there for you, Okay? I promise." Jolie continued and planted a loving kiss on Addy's cheek.

All Adelaide did was wipe the tears that continued to fall from her eyes and force out a small, "Thank you, Jo."

Jolie smiled at her and rubbed her shoulder.

"Don't thank me," Jolie assured, and called out for her daughter, "Kena! It's time to go, Love. Say good bye to daddy and auntie Addy."

Kenadee put the roses back where she found them and walked to Mitch's head stone and planted a kiss on the portrait. She looked up at the stone and said,

"I love you, daddy. Mommy and me want you to come home soon, okay?" Kena finished and skipped over to her aunt.

"Auntie Addy?" Kenadee asked softly as she tugged on Adelaides hand.

Adelaide crouched down to Kenadee's level and kissed the top of her head. Adelaide looked at Kena with adoration ever since Mitch handed Kena to her when Kenadee was born.

Addy scooped the younger into a tight hug and whispered,

"I love you, baby girl. I'll visit you and mommy real soon, okay?" Kena nodded her head and whispered back,

"Will we play tea party?"

"Whatever you want, kiddo."

Addy planted one last kiss atop Kenadee's head and sent her off with Jolie.

"Bye, auntie! I love you!" Kena waved as she took her mothers hand into hers and walked off to their car.

Adelaide smiled and waved back until Kena stopped waving.

Addy turned to the general direction in which Mitch was buried and sighed.

She pulled out the small cardboard box that was placed in her purse and smiled at it.

With Tony

" I think this is it!" Vic called from the lounge area of the bus.

"No! I think it's a few miles west." Mike argued.

"Mike, why would there be two cemeteries just miles apart of each other?" Jaime interrupted as he walked towards the back of the bus to fetch Tony and the roses.

"Tone! We're here. You're still coming, right?" Jaime called as he ripped the small curtain on Tony's bunk open.

"Yeah, I was just resting a bit. I didn't get much sleep last night." Tony admitted and got up from his bunk.

Tony rubbed the tired from his face and yawned.

"Why is that, turtle?" Jaime asked, as he walked to the back of the bunk to get the roses they picked up hours prior.

"I don't know. I've had a lot on my mind, lately." Tony admitted and went into the bathroom to clean up a bit before leaving.

"A lot of what?" Jaime asked with the bouquet in hand, looking at Tony from behind.

"The whole Mitch thing, it was so sudden and... I don;t know man. I feel bad for ya'know... Jolie, and Kena... It must be rough and.." Tony began

"I know what you mean turtle. It was really sudden and I'm sure it's been hell for everyone involved." Jaime assured and pat Tony on the back.

"I know..." Tony said with a small voice.

"We'll all be okay in the end. We all die eventually anyway.." Jaime said, his voice just a bit higher than Tony's.

"That's the plan." Tony forced the corners of his lips into a smile.

Jaime returned the smile and walked towards the front of the bus, leaving Tony to follow.

Tony shrugged on a clean shirt as he entered the lounge area of the bus.

"Ready, mis hermanos?" Vic asked..

"Yep," Mike and Jaime said in unison.

"Yeah. Let's do this." Tony said as he brushed his fingers through his hair and pushed it out of hi face before resting a snap back snugly atop his head.

The four of them walked out of the bus and into the warm Riverside air.

They knew where exactly Mitch was located in the cemetery, and wasted no time making their way to his grave site.

The cemetery was absolutely empty. No one seemed to be there at all.

The fallen leaves crunching under their shoes was the only sound heard.

The silence was deafening.

The head stones surround them appeared old and deteriorating.

Will I be a forgotten head stone in a sea of nobodies like these head stones before me?

Was all Tony could think. His eyes averted to his shoes as he crunched through the leaves.

"Who's that?" Jaime asked breaking the silence, causing everyone to stop and Tony to look up.

They saw a girl practically hanging from a tree, her tippy toes where on the top step of the ladder, still not tall enough to reach the lowest branch. Her purse and heels were placed neatly beside the tree. She was still pretty far away from where they were standing, but Vic would recognize her from any distance.

"Oh, that's Addy, I'm sure." Vic said, as he continued and everyone followed.

Adelaide was On a ladder, attempting to hang something from the tree that was conveniently placed beside Mitch's grave.

'What's she doing?" Mike asked.

"I'm not sure." Vic answered, as he picked up the pace, afraid Addy might fall.

They all hurried behind him, Addy still not aware of the boys running towards her.

She was still concentrated on what she was doing. Vic took that to his advantage and silently ushered Mike, Tony, and Jaime around the ladder below her, to catch her as he had a plan.

"THAT'S NOT A STEP!" He yelled as loud as he could, nearly splitting eardrums.

"Wha- What!" Addy turned quickly and slipped off the top of the ladder.

All four boy jumped forward to catch her but she landed in Tony's arms.

The impact brought Tony down onto his knees, but saving Addy from hitting the ground.

Addy looked like her life had flashed before her very eyes, and I'm sure it did.

She was breathing hard for a second but then she buried her face in her hands after she realized what just happened.

Vic Fuentes just scared her.

She started giggling before realizing she was still in a stranger's grasp.

"I'm sorry, Thank you." Adelaide said sweetly as she got off of Tony.

"It's fine. are you alright?" Tony chuckled as e dusted himself off.

"I'm fine." She smiled at him, and turned to Vic, "No thanks to you, asshole! You nearly scared me to death!"

Vic chuckled and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to lighten the mood." He apologized as she hugged him back.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in ages!" She asked him, pulling out of the hug.

"I'm fine," He began, his face turning serious, "This might be a dumb question, but how are you?" He asked.

Her face fell but revived a tiny bit, and she sighed.

"I'm alright..." She began, "...and When i say alright..." Adelaide finished, looking down at her bare feet.

"What is it you were doing up there, exactly?" Mike asked her.

"Mitch always hating sleeping in the silence. He always needed music to sleep, so I was- or at least attempting to hang a wind chime from our house." She explained.

"Oh, I see. That's sweet." Mike replied with a small smile. She returned a sad smile back.

"I realized something... Just now.." Addy said with a genuine smile on her face as she turned to all four of them.

"What?" Vic asked.

"I've only ever met Vic out of you lot." Addy replied as she smiled at Tony.

"That's right! Well, these are the boys..." Vic began.

Chapter Text

"I realized something... Just now.." Addy said with a genuine smile on her face as she turned to all four of them.

"What?" Vic asked.

"I've only ever met Vic out of you lot." Addy replied as she smiled at Tony.

"That's right! Well, these are the boys..." Vic began.

"I'm Jaime, It's nice to meet you." Jaime smiled and stuck out his hand.

Addy Smiled back and shook it.

"I'm Adelaide, but you can call me Addy," she nodded, "Pleasure's all mine."

"I'm Mike, Vic's younger brother." Mike smiled at her, offering his hand as well.

"Nice to meet you, Mike." Addy smiled at Mike and shook his hand as well.

Mike and Adelaide dropped each other's hands. Addy looked up at the fourth man who remained silent, his eyes still glued to his shoes.

Vic smiled and said,

"And that's Tony. He's not a dick, I promise. He's just really shy."
Tony's cheeks flushed red, and even brighter when Addy giggled.

"Well, It's nice to meet you, Tony" Adelaide began, "And thank you for catching me, again."

"Oh, don't worry about it." He replied, finally meeting her eyes. She was already smiling at him.

He gave a quick, small smile and looked back at the ground.

"So what are you guys doing in Riverside, anyway?" Adelaide asked.

"We were passing through here anyway, and when we heard what happened to Mitch, we had to visit. " Vic explained and Jaime nodded in agreement.

"That's really sweet of you all, really." Addy admitted, that smile never seeming to leave her face.

"We felt horrible, and we had to pay our respects," Jaime began, "Plus, Vic was worried about you and the family." Jaime finished with a sad smile.

"Yeah, how is everyone?" Vic asked.

Addy's smile flattened a bit and she shrugged.

"Jolie and I had a bit of a falling out today," Adelaide admitted, "Ever since Mitch died, I've been so absent from everything and everyone. I feel like I died with him, because I haven't been there for..." Adelaide stopped at the thought of leaving Kena and Jolie alone when they needed her most. Tears began to swell up in her eyes. Addy squeezed her eyes shut and covered her face in her hands.

She felt a pair of arms wrap tightly around her and she assumed it was Vic, so she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest.

"It's alright, Addy. You don't have to talk about it." Adelaide heard Vic from behind her. Leaving her wondering who's arms she was in.

She backed up and wiped her tears and looked to see Tony standing where she just was, with a sad smile on his face.

Addy returned a sad smile and nodded a thank you. Tony nodded back and stepped back.

"I feel like I've been leaving Kena, and Jolie, and mom when they need me most," Addy continued, "I feel like I've disappointed Mitch because I know the last thing he wouldv'e wanted is me being alone again, and... I don't know"

"I know... for certain.. that Mitch could never be disappointed in you, Addy. I mean, yes, he probably would hate to see you getting through this alone... But, he knows that you don't mean any harm, and that you love Kenadee, and Jolie just as much as he did and It's only been a week... So stop being so hard on yourself, okay?" Vic said, placing his hands on Adelaide's shoulders.

"I don't want to hear you talk like that anymore, okay? I'm sure Mitch wouldn't either." Vic finished.

Addy nodded and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thank you," Said Addy, "I've just felt so... alone, selfish, and hurt by the whole thing and I don't know what to do.."

Vic pulled away from the hug and smiled at her.

"We want to be sure you don't feel alone anymore," Jaime began, "No one should ever feel alone. Especially after something like this happens."

"Definitely," Mike agreed with a smile.

"I appreciate it, guys. I really do," Addy began, "But I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"Adelaide," Vic started, turning Addy to face him, " I care about you, I really do. And I care about Mitch and Jolie, and we all care about Kenadee... So for everyone's sake... Let us... Let me take better care of you, please."

Adelaide looked at him for a moment, seeing the desperation in his eyes. She sighed and looked down at the ground.

Everyone was silent, awaiting a response.

After another moment, Addy sighed and met Vic's gaze again. She smiled and nodded.

Vic nodded back and whispered a thank you.

"Come here, you guys." Addy said and reached her arms out.

Jaime and Mike stepped forward and joined the group hug. Tony remained where he was, eyes still not leaving the floor.

Vic, Jaime and Mike pulled back and Addy looked at Tony.

She walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Tony hesitated, but eventually wrapped his arms around her waist.

After a moment, they pulled back and Addy looked at him.

"Tony," She began, "Could I ask you something?"

"Uh.. Yeah, sure. Go for it." He replied, looking in her eyes for the first time.

"You're pretty tall... Taller than me, anyway," She said with a smile, "Would you mind helping me hang the wind chime?"

"Not at all, It'd be my pleasure." He replied with a smile.

Addy handed him the wind chime and he held it in his hand for a minute, admiring it.

It was made entirely from glass. It was made so intricately and so precisely, the carvings in the glass seemed geometric, but natural.

Tony looked up at her and smiled again.

"One of you hold the ladder." Tony instructed the boys.

"Aw, Perry's afraid of heights?" Jaime teased, as he held the ladder in place.

Tony began climbing to the top, very carefully.

"Absolutely Fucking Terrified," Tony confirmed.

Adelaide giggled at his response and watched him reach the branch.

Tony hung the wind chime and blew on it, to make it ring.

He looked down at Adelaide, for approval.

She smiled up at him and nodded.

Tony climbed down and pat Jaime on the back.

"Thank you, I love it" said Addy. She walked to Tony and kissed him on the cheek.

Tony blushed and looked back at the ground.

"No problem," He said softly, and looked back up at her, "Like I said, it'd be my pleasure." Tony smiled and returned his gaze to the floor.

"You should smile more, it suits you."

"Alright, you two. How about we get something to eat or something?" Vic suggested, his hands placed on both Tony and Adelaide's shoulders.

"Yeah, can we go to a diner? I want a smoothie." Addy asked.

"Of course," Vic replied with a soft chuckle.

Addy smiled at him and ran to get her purse.

She slipped her heels back on and joined the boys back to their bus.

"So.. Addy..." Vic began, "You still living with mom and pops or...?"

Addy giggled and shook her head.

"I don't really have a home," She replied, "Whenever Mitch toured, I'd go with him... Whenever he was home, I'd stay with Jolie and Kena..so..."

"Mitch was your home?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, basically..." She replied with a sad smile.

"I toured with him instead of staying home because I liked to travel, and it helped with my photography portfolio,"

"You're a photographer?" asked Jaime. Adelaide shrugged.

"I'm whatever.." Addy began, Vic interrupted her

"Addy takes pictures, she paints, she draws, she does everything, man. It's almost not fair."

Addy chuckled and punched his arm playfully.

"You really do all of that?" Mike asked as they approached the bus.

They all loaded on and she replied.

"Yeah, I do.. But that doesn't mean I'm any good at it."

"I'm sure you're great," Tony replied sincerely as he took a seat at the small table.

"Are you fucking kidding? You're portraits look like photographs, man." Vic said, taking a seat on the couch.

Adelaide took a seat across from Tony and Jaime and Mike sat on either side of Vic.

"Yeah, well..." Addy shrugged, "I don't do that anymore."

"But art's like.. your life, Addy.."

Adelaide just shrugged again.

"Nothing? No photography? No drawing? No painting?" Vic asked, his voice laced with worry.

"Nothing..." Addy confirmed with another shrug.

"I have an idea," Tony piped up.

"What?" Vic asked.

Everyone turned to Tony and he looked down and played with his fingers,

"Since you like touring so much, and taking pictures.. Maybe, to get you back into the swing of things... if you want, you could be our tour photographer.." Tony suggested.

"Yeah! Great idea, turtle," Vic explained, turning to Addy, "Be our tour photographer. Get to know the boys a little better, see the world again, do what makes you happy. It also helps the loneliness..."

"Turtle?" Adelaide questioned, ignoring the request.

"The dude's shy and loves turtles. So yeah, turtle..," Jaime explained

"So what do you say?" Vic asked seriously.

Adelaie sighed.

"I don't know, Vic," She began, "I'd love to, but.."

"But nothing! Mitch would've wanted you too. And don't worry about Jolie and Kena, they want to see you happy too." Vic pushed.

"You know I can't say no when you pull the Mitch card.." Adelaide said with a small smile.

Everyone remained quiet, again, awaiting a response.

She looked around to find them all waiting for her and she sighed,

 

"Okay! I'll do it!" Adelaide gave in.

Jaime, Vic, and Mike cheered while Tony just smiled.

"You guys suck." Addy said with another sigh.

"I know, you get used to it..." Mike joked.

"We will discuss details later, for now... I am starving.." Vic said as the bus came to a slow, steady stop in a parking lot of a diner.

Chapter Text

"For the lady.." Jaime said with a smile as he set Adelaide's milkshake in front of her.

"Thank you, sir." She replied with the same tone.

"So, how's mom and pops?" Vic asked, and picked up his burger.

"Good, actually. Since Mitch passed, mom decided to stop smoking and wants to work again," Adelaide responded.

"And you dad?"

"Not so good, he hasn't really said much to anyone once he found out," Addy said with a sigh, "My step-mother Mary said he hasn't gone back to work and has been distant."

"So you think he's not coping well?"

"Well, no better than I. I mean, he has a whole other family to care for. Mitch didn't even think our dad gave even half a shit about him... But now my dad seems to be throwing everything away because Mitch is gone..."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know... When my dad left, that was the last I had heard from him. He left when I was ten, didn't speak to us until after we told him we lost Mitch." Adelaide explained.

"I know what that's like...." Tony muttered.

Adelaide looked at him with a questioning look.

"Tony's old man passed right after his mother re-married and had his sister," Jaime explained, since he was the only one of the four who knew the whole truth.

"He walked out on us, on me, and only talked to us when he was jealous of my step-father." Tony explained further.

"Turtle..." Mike said softly, placing a hand on Tony's back.

Tony shook his head and pushed his plate away, his appetite already diminished.

"I'll be outside. I need fresh air." Tony said and walked out of the diner.

Adelaide was still shocked at the sudden "outburst". She didn't know something so terrible had happened to Tony.

"I'll go talk to him," Jaime began, as he stood.

"No, let me," Addy intervened and she excused herself outside.

Jaime nodded and sat back down.

Adelaide took in a ball of air and exited the diner.

She stood still as she saw Tony sat in front of the diner, with his hands over his face.

Adelaide quietly took a seat down beside him and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"I'm sorry, Tony. I didn't know." Addy began.

"You deserve better than that, I know it." She finished.

"So do you..." He said so soft, Addy almost missed it.

She looked at him to see that he was already looking at her. His eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"Thank you," She replied with a genuine smile. This made Tony smile back at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"Not really much to say about it..." He replied with a sigh, turning to watch pedestrians pass by the diner.

"My dad left, threw a fit, and then died. My step-mother tried blaming my mother for what happened.. and we never spoke of it since. This was all right after my little sister was born, and she's fifteen now... so..." He finished with another punctual sigh.

"How would your father's death have anything to do with your mother?" Addy asked.

"He killed himself. He wrote that he did it because he couldn't stand the thought of my mother taking me away from him. He wrote that he wasn't going to watch her make me call another man 'dad'. He wrote he wasn't going to live to see the day that I was old enough to resent him for leaving me. But he got it all wrong. My god, he was so wrong." Tony answered, tears forming in his eyes again.

"Why was he wrong?" Addy asked, worry began to become evident.

"I had already resented him! I hated him! He left me.... for no reason. It wasn't about leaving my mom. He left me. He left me...to only leave me again. I left him when my mom told me he left, but I loved him when he left me for real. He's gone and he's never coming back. And I regret never telling him how much I loved him, How much I wanted him around. But, I couldn't tell him that.. He had a new wife, new children... He didn't need me, He didn't want me. That's why I resented him. But the pain he felt... I wish for it to have gone away. He died hurting. He died hurting because he supposedly loved me, but I can't believe it.... No man leaves the child he loves..." Tony finished, his cheeks were now wet with tears.

Addy offered a sad smile and wiped his tears away.

"I know it must've been hard, I know it still is hard. But you can't let it dictate your life. You can't let it keep you as a victim. You can't let it bring you down. You'll never get used to what happened, you'll never get over it, I know that... But, don;t let it affect you as much.There's so much more beauty in the world that can make you feel better, and that will always be there.."

"Like you?" Tony said innocently.

"I'll be there for you, Tony. Always."

"I want to be there for you, too. You deserve to be happy, too. I want to make sure you're always happy." Tony responded.

Adelaide smiled and pulled him into tight hug.

"Thank you, Tony." She whispered.

"Thank you, Adelaide." He whispered back.

Adelaide pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes.

She got caught up for a second because she really couldn't stop staring into his beautiful brown eyes.

"Addy?" Tony said softly, but successfully interrupting the silence.

The corners of Adelaide's lips curved up into a smile.

"Let's get you some food, Tony." She replied, taking his hand on hers. They both stood and walked back into the diner.

The two sat down silently at the table they were seated at just minutes before.

"Everything alright?" Vic asked, looking between both of them.

Adelaide looked at Tony for an answer.

"Just peachy, but I'm starving." Tony replied, sliding his plate of food back in front of him and continued to eat.

Jaime and Vic smiled and resumed their meals. Mike looked at Addy and grinned ear to ear.

"What?" She asked, smiling back at him.

"Nothing. Just looking forward for the tour, is all." He replied.

"So am I," She replied truthfully.

Chapter Text

"So..." Addy began as they piled back onto the bus.

"What?" Vic asked.

"When does this tour start?" Adelaide asked, plopping on the couch. A big grin spread across her face, her excitement obvious.

Jaime chuckled, and answered.

"Soon. Very soon, actually."

"We leave in three days." Tony said, quietly taking a seat beside Addy.

Addy's smile grew bigger and she said.

"I'm actually excited."

"Good. We actually want you to meet a couple friends." Vic began, but continued after a quick thought, "Actually you may have met them before... Not sure."

"Who?" Addy asked.

"We're touring with Of Mice & Men and All Time Low."

"That's a funny lineup..." Addy giggled.

"It'll be fun!"

"I know it will! I've met Austin, Phil and Tino. I met the original Of Mice and Men group.." Adelaide said, reminiscing on the time her brother put Austin in charge of her when he would be away for press that one summer Suicide Silence toured with Of Mice & Men

"Aaron and Alan are great guys, I'm sure you'll like them too!" Vic said with an assuring smile.

"I'm so excited!" Addy said bouncing in her seat.

"Be sure you let Everyone know you're going though..." Vic said.

"Yeah, we don't want people to think we kidnapped you or something." Mike finished.

"I'll call Jolie." Addy said, standing and pulling her phone out.

Addy dialed her sister-in-law's number and called.

It rang three times before the line went live.

"Hello? Addy?"

"Hey, Jolie!"

"Are you okay, did something happen? Where are you? You're mother is worried." Jolie said, her voice clearly filled with worry too.

Addy sighed and lightly smaked her forehead with her palm.

"Shit, I forgot to say something. I, uh.. Met the Pierce the Veil guys today, and.." Addy began.

"Wait.. What? When? Where?" Jolie asked, her voice now laced with surpirse rather than worry.

"Yes. I met The guys from Pierce the Veil about 20 minutes after you and Kena left. I was at Mitch's grave, trying to hang one of his old whindchimes on the tree Kena always climbs when we visit him... And they just happen to be paying Mitch a farewell visit.."

"And..?"

"And I had met Vic before, but not Mike or Jaime or Tony, so that happened and we went for lunch and yes. I'm sorry. I should've said something."

"It's fine, Adelaide. You are an adult. It's just... Your mom is still worried you know? I mean, she just lost her son, so you understand, right?"

"Yeah. I'll visit her tomorrow. I have something to tell her, actually." Addy said, that smile seeming to never leave her face.

"What?"

"Jo... I'm going back on tour."

"What? No! With who?"

"Yes. Yes i am. With Pierce the Veil, All Time Low and Of Mice & Men."

"Why?"

"Because, Jolie. We all now Mitch and Kena are my life and were all I had. Ever since Mitch died, I've been throwing my life away. i've been rotting away and I can't do that. I need to be there for momma, and you and Kenadee. I need to be there for everyone I care about. Like you said, I'm not the only one who lost Mitch, and I need to stop acting like it. I need to go out and see the world again. Vic and the boys offered for me to tour with them to help me get back into photography. This is a great opportunity to get better again, Jolie."

Jolie sighed on the other line.

"Addy...."

"Jo, Please. You got to let me do this. I'll be back when the tour is over and you and Kena can have me all to yourselves after that, I promise. I know this will be good for me. Plus, Austin will be there. And you know as well as I that the only person Mitch would let me tour with besides him is Austin."

Jolie sighed again and thought silently for a second.

"Okay. If your mom says yes, then go for it."

"Yes! Thank you, Jo!"

"Of course, bug. But I hope you're right and this is good for you."

"It will be, I'm sure of it!"

"Promise me that if it becomes too much, you'll fly straight home though. Okay?"

"I will. I promise."

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow. Kena needs a bath."

"Okay. I'll let you go. Tell Kena I love her and kiss her for me, will you?"

"Of course. Good night, Addy."

"You too, Jolie."

The line went dead.

Even though the four of them heard the conversation, they still stared at her for an answer.

Addy slipped her phone into her purse and straightened her skirt before realizing all eyes were on her.

"Oh, I can go." Addy said.

"Awesome!"

"With momma's blessing, though... Right?" Vic asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, Vic. I'll ask her tomorrow."

"Sorry for making them worry about you, Addy." Tony said quietly.

"Yeah. We didn't mean for that.." Vic began

"It's not your fault, boys." Addy interjected, "I'm a big girl. I'm just a big girl who forgets I'm kind of on behavior watch at the moment."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Vic asked, looking at her as she took a seat beside him.

Addy sighed.

"It's nothing, really. They just think without Mitch, there's nothing saving me from myself anymore. Especially since I've been isolating myself from Kena and Jo and Momma."

"A bit of isolation can be good though. After losing someone, I mean." Tony offered.

"I mean, I didn't want to even look at anyone after I lost my dad."

Addy smiled and him and nodded.

"i know that feeling. But I abandoned everyone who had lost Mitch, too.... Kena lost her daddy, My mom lost her son, Jolie lost her husband, the love of her life, the father of her child. the guys in Suicide Silence lost a friend, a brother, a leader. All his fans lost a hero. And I was being so selfish and It was killing me and everyone around me."

"We're going to help you get better, though. And you're going to let us, right?"

Addy smiled and nodded.

"Good. Now.... Where are we dropping you off?"

Addy gave Vic her address, and the bus driver began the road to Addy's house.

"I really am grateful for this opportunity, guys. It's going to be good for me."

"Not a problem at all, Addy. We'd be happy to tour with you."

"Yeah. You smile the brightest on tour, according to Mitch. We want you to be happy, Addy. Even though you lost your actual big brother. You need to be reminded you're surrounded by brothers all the time." Vic said with a smile.

Addy's smile widened and nodded in agreement.

"Mitch told me you and Austin were like family, Vic. He trusted you and I can see why. You guys don't seem dangerous."

"That's because all the bodies are stuffed in the bunks." Tony joked, standing to get some water.

Addy giggled at the comment.

"Speaking of bunks... Who exactly am I touring with. I imagine you and of mice and men only have room for band members and equipment. Where am I meant to squeeze in?"

"We'll ask our tour manager how to handle that. But, ultimately, wherever you're most comfortable is where you'll end up, Adelaide."

Addy nodded.

Te bus pulled up in front of Adelaide's house.

"Thank you guys, for everything. I really appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it."

"Do you guys want to come inside for a drink or something?"

"No, Thanks. We actually need to head back to San Diego to pack for tour."

"Oh, right."

"So if we could get your number... You know... to get the tour situation sorted.."

"Oh, yeah.." Addy smiled and pulled a pen out of her purse.

Vic handed her a paper from wherever.

She wrote her number and singed it Adelaide x

"Call me if anything comes up... or whatever." She said, handing it to Vic.

"Definitely. I'll walk you out.."

"Okay," She turned to the other boys, "It was really nice to meet you boys."

"Pleasure's all ours." Jaime said, pulling her in for a hug.

She hugged Mike and said her good bye.

She hugged Tony a little longer and a little tighter.

"It was nice meeting you, Tony."

"You too."

She kissed his cheek and left the bus with Vic.

"Thanks again, Vic. I really do appreciate this."

"Anything for you, Addy. You and Mitch are like family now."

Addy smiled and hugged him tight.

"I advise having everything packed by the day after tomorrow."

"I will. How long's the tour?"

"Only five weeks."

"Okay, Perfect."

"I'll call you, Addy."

"Okay. See you around!"

Vic smiled and walked back to the bus.

Adelaide unlocked her door and closed it behind her.

She was home.

More accurately, she was at her house.

Home awaited her back on the road, where she belonged.