Archive of Our Own ^beta

“You look beautiful, but you don’t look fine."

It's late when Matt gets back to their apartment from practice. The coaches had held them all over for extra drills and a scrimmage to get them ready for their next playoff game. Still, he's exhausted from all the extra effort he's been putting in for the last several days. He's very much looking forward to his next day off. Aaron should be home too, which just makes the day even better.

He unlocks the door and drops his keys on the counter, then tosses his gym bag into the laundry room just off the kitchen. He heads into the living room to find Aaron curled up on the couch under the PSU blanket Dan had sent to Matt for his birthday last year. It's fleece and very warm, so Matt rarely uses it himself, but Aaron likes it - even if he says he doesn't.

When Matt rounds the couch, he notices the collection of tissues on the coffee table, the bag of cough drops, and the open bottle of cold medicine that is missing a significant amount. He frowns and looks at Aaron. He's tugged the blanket all the way up to his nose, but Matt can still see the way his cheeks are flushed and the red around the edges of his nose where he's been wiping at it. Matt sits on the very edge of the couch and brushes Aaron’s hair gently away from his forehead.

“Baby?” Matt calls softly. Aaron doesn't so much as twitch. “Aaron?” He smooths his hand down to Aaron’s shoulder and shakes him slightly. Aaron’s eyes flutter open and he tugs the blanket down away from his mouth. “Hey.” Matt smiles a little.

“Hey.” Aaron’s voice is a wreck, all hoarse and scratchy.

“You okay?” Matt reaches up and brushes Aaron’s hair away again when it falls back in his eyes. He really should go get a haircut…

“I'm fine,” Aaron mutters. He sits up and grabs the bottle of water he's left himself on the table. He chugs a good bit of it.

Matt chuckles a little. “Babe, I gotta say, to me, you always look beautiful, but you don't look fine.”

Aaron scrunches up his nose and bats Matt’s hand away when he reaches up to feel his forehead in an attempt to check for a fever. “Some kid probably gave me the flu. It's not a big deal. You've had your flu shot.”

Matt frowns and he does press the back of his hand to Aaron’s forehead. This time, Aaron lets him. “Pretty sure you have a fever.”

“Yeah,” Aaron says with a shrug. He gestures to the cold medicine on the table. “I'm dealing with it.” He suddenly claps his hand to his mouth and tosses the blanket aside in the same moment. Matt backs out of his way as Aaron jerks around him to get to his feet. He watches Aaron bolt to the little bathroom just off the living room and slam the door behind himself. The sounds of him throwing up make Matt a little queasy, so he gets up and heads into the kitchen.

He finds his phone in his pocket and checks the time. 9:34. A little late, so he texts Katelyn and asks if she's awake. Her answer is almost instant, so he calls her. When she answers, Matt says, “I think Aaron might have the flu.”

“Oh no,” she whispers Katelyn shuffles around a little, then her voice grows to a normal volume. “There's not much you can do, really. He's pretty much just going to have to fight it on his own.” Matt can hear the frown in her voice.

“So just, like, over the counter stuff, right?” Matt asks. Katelyn hums her yes. “I can go get more. He's got a little bit. Anything else I should get? He's...throwing up now.”

“Keep him hydrated. Try to get him to eat a little if you can. Plain foods, but nothing heavy. I'll have Haley or Daveed stop by with a few things, how's that? Check his temperature regularly. If it gets to 106, take him straight to the hospital, no matter how much he complains.”

“All right,” Matt says, nodding even though he knows she can't see it. “Thanks a million, Katelyn.”

“Of course,” she says. This time, he can hear her smile. “I'd come over myself if I could.”

“Oh no you don't,” Matt says quickly. “You can't risk getting sick or risking Sophie getting sick. I'll keep you updated, sound fair?” Sophie is only four weeks old and Katelyn is still on maternity leave.

She laughs. “Oh all right, you win. But I expect texts, Matt Boyd!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckles. “I'm gonna go check on him. Thanks again.”

“Of course. You don't have to thank me. Bye.”

He says goodbye and hangs up before making his way over to the little bathroom. He notices Aaron isn't throwing up anymore, which is a good thing he thinks. He knocks first, but he opens the door anyway when he doesn't get a response. Aaron is just sitting against the wall, curled up with his head propped on the tops of his knees. He looks so miserable and Matt feels awful.

“C’mon, babe, let's get you in bed.” Aaron squints up at him and blinks slowly. Matt crouches next to him and pulls him to his feet and walks him into the bedroom before bundling him up with the thick duvet and the extra blanket at the foot of the bed. Aaron hates to be cold, and with their unusual cold snap and the temperature outside dropping into the single digits, Matt knows he's freezing despite the heat going full-blast in the apartment. He goes out to the living room and grabs Aaron’s box of tissues before digging through one of the drawers in the kitchen for the thermometer and grabbing a bottle of Gatorade.

“Here,” Matt says gently, depositing everything on the bed beside Aaron. He sits up enough to drink some first, then Matt puts the thermometer in Aaron's hand. It makes Aaron huff a sigh, but he hits the little button on it and shoves it in his mouth anyway. Matt tries to lean over and kiss his forehead, but Aaron shoves him away and shakes his head. “Fine, fine.” Matt smiles a little. The thermometer beeps. “What's it say?” Aaron frowns at it for a moment before throwing it across the bed.

“104,” he mumbles, grabbing one edge of the blanket and tucking it up over his shoulder. “It should have gone down by now with all the shit I took.”

“Fuck,” Matt says, frowning himself. “Tell me what you need.”

“If it hasn't gone down after a couple hours, I'll figure something out,” Aaron says, and immediately starts coughing. After that's subsided, he says, “Text Katelyn and she'll tell you what to watch for.”

“Okay, yeah.” Matt frowns. “When was the last time you took medicine?”

“Uh…” Aaron looks over at the clock by their bed. It reads 9:30 pm. “Hour and a half ago. They sent me home early, so I've been here since noon.”

“Why didn't you text me and let me know?”

“There's nothing you can do anyway.” Aaron coughs again. “You have playoffs. I wasn't gonna distract you.”

Sometimes, Matt wants to strangle Aaron - usually only when he says dumb shit like that. “Look, if this happens again, I want you to tell me, okay? Doesn't matter what's going on or what I'm doing or anything. You're sick, babe. If I'd known, I could have brought shit home for you.” Aaron makes a poor attempt at glaring at him, but it doesn't go over well. Matt huffs a sigh and pushes Aaron down into the pillows. “Sleep, babe. I'll wake you up in a couple hours and check your temp again. I'm gonna go get some food and some more meds for you, okay?” Aaron nods and curls up around one of the pillows. He's dozing again in seconds. Before Matt leaves, he makes sure to put a little trash can in the room by the bed in case Aaron has to puke again.

Matt gets back to the apartment with his arms loaded down with bags. He’d stopped at a 24 hour pharmacy and asked about shit to get Aaron, so he has an assload of meds and a humidifier and more tissues, hand sanitizer, other cleaning shit he isn't sure if they actually have or not, more Gatorade (the green kind, since he knows that's the one Aaron likes best), and stuff to make soup with. He barely managed to salvage his diet plan with a grilled chicken salad he grabbed while out, but he doesn't care much about sticking to it for every single meal anyway. Breaking away from it occasionally won't kill him or mess up his performance on the court, despite what his nutritionist might say.

He puts half of the shit in the kitchen before heading into the bedroom with some of the other stuff. Aaron isn't in the bed. He frowns and drops the bags by the dresser. He checks the bathroom first. Aaron is, not quite surprisingly but concerningly, curled up in the tub. He's pink and shivering, but sleeping. Or at least dozing. When Matt kneels by the edge of the tub, Aaron blinks his eyes open and turns his head to look at him.

“Matt?” his voice is, somehow, even worse than it had been just an hour ago. Matt nods and reaches out slowly. Aaron is clammy and hot to the touch. Worry makes his food churn in his stomach. “What’re you -” he is interrupted by his own coughing for a moment, but finishes, “doing here?”

“Babe, I just ran out to get some meds and stuff for you.” Matt grabs his phone from his pocket and finds Daveed’s number, figuring Katelyn is probably asleep by now. Aaron coughs again, but he doesn't say anything as Matt stands and paces out to the bedroom, phone held to his ear.

“Hello?” Daveed greets.

“Hey, man, it's Matt.”

“Ah, how are you?” Daveed has a way of sounding like he's smiling when he talks on the phone, always so perfectly professional, even when he's relaxed. Matt's only heard the slight British accent make an appearance a couple of times, usually only when he's very, very drunk or right when he first wakes up. He doesn't have that now, so Matt feels a little better about calling.

“So, uh, Aaron is really sick. He said earlier he thinks he probably has the flu? His fever was 104 when I left an hour ago, and he'd taken some medicine an hour and a half before that. But I just got back home after running to get some shit for him, and I found him in the tub and he was asking what I was doing here…” Matt pauses, realizes some of what he's said might not make sense - like the bit about the tub - but he doesn't try to clarify that. Now isn't the time. “I'm really worried about him and I don't know what to do.”

“See what his temperature is,” Daveed says quickly. “If it's below 106, run a lukewarm bath for him. It should help some. Otherwise, just keep him hydrated. There isn't much anyone can do for a fever. Has he said anything else concerning?”

“No,” Matt says honestly. He searches the blankets for the thermometer, finds it, and takes it back to the bathroom. Aaron weakly accepts it, but Matt has to hold it for him since Aaron makes no move to do so himself. “But, look, the thing about the tub? That's…” Matt bites his lip for a moment. “I don't know how to say it.”

“I believe Katelyn might have mentioned something once about it being concerning,” Daveed says slowly, “but I don't know why.”

Matt sighs. Aaron is completely zoned out in front of him, just staring at the wall. “His mom used to beat the shit out of him when he was a kid, and he'd hide in the tub to get away from her sometimes. He only ever does this if he's like...not in a good place. Mentally.”

“I see,” Daveed says quietly.

The thermometer beeps and Matt tugs it away from Aaron to read it. “His fever is up to 105.8. That's…really fucking high.”

“Take him to the hospital,” Daveed says, his voice going a little stern. “He won't like it, I know, but do it anyway. I'm on shift tonight. I start at midnight, but I'll meet you there. Haley, too, since she's with me.”

“Okay.” Matt tosses the thermometer onto the counter by the sink. “Anything I should bring with me?”

“A charger for your phone,” Haley shouts from somewhere in the background.

“Yes, that,” Daveed sighs. “Anything else you might want for a bit of a stay. They'll have to make sure his fever is down and somewhat under control before they release him. Depending on how long that takes, it could be a while.”

“I'll call my coach, then,” Matt says decisively. “Thanks. See you guys in a bit.” He hangs up the phone and shoves it in his pocket. He scoops Aaron up and moves him to the couch, wrapping him up in the fleece blanket to keep him warm. Aaron doesn't respond at all, which is also worrying.

Matt grabs his duffel from the closet, shoves a change of clothes for both himself and Aaron into it before grabbing their chargers and Aaron's phone. As an afterthought, he grabs Aaron's bookbag as well, knowing that Aaron will be pissed if he starts to feel better and they keep him anyway while he has nothing to do. He packs everything into his truck, grabs the trash can from the room as an afterthought, just in case, and puts that and the bag of Gatorade in there as well. Finally, he goes back for Aaron, buckles him in, since he's basically lifeless at this point, and heads toward the hospital.

He dials the team's defensive coach as he drives. “What is it, Boyd?”

“Hey, Coach,” Matt says. “Listen, my boyfriend is really, really sick. His fever is crazy high, and I'm taking him to the hospital now. I can't be at practice tomorrow.”

“Understood,” Coach Harrison sighs. “Make sure you don't get sick too, yeah?”

“I'll do my best,” Matt mutters.

“Isn't he a doctor or whatever?” Harrison asks.

“Still in med school,” Matt says. “I called one of his friends when he started acting really weird. Aaron's fever is up to almost a hundred and six.”

“Fucking hell. Yeah, get that kid to the hospital.”

“I'm like, halfway there already,” Matt says with a strangled laugh.

“Be careful and don't get sick. Call me tomorrow afternoon and let me know if you can make it to practice tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I will.” Matt hangs up after a quick goodbye and focuses on driving as fast as he can while still getting away with it. He narrowly avoids several red lights, skating through on the yellow, and he makes it to the hospital a few minutes later. He pulls up to the emergency section and climbs out, gathering Aaron in his arms and carrying him inside.

The guy at the desk pages a nurse and two of them come to greet him with a wheelchair. He settles Aaron into it as he explains what's going on. They take him straight to the back and tell Matt to move his truck. Matt does, but he leaves the bags in the cab for now. Haley and Daveed are in the ER waiting area when he makes it back inside. The guy at the desk gives Matt some papers to fill out, but he just takes them with him as he's led to the back to where Aaron is. They already have him in a bed with an IV in his arm.

The nurse asks him all kinds of questions, since Aaron isn't really responding to anything. “I don't know,” Matt admits, over and over, feeling more guilty each time he says it. “I play for the Hawks, okay? Aaron leaves almost the same time I do in the mornings to get to class on time. I barely see him most days. Haley and Daveed probably know more than I do.” The nurse, who recognizes Aaron and knows that he's in med school and also working at the hospital, nods to this and heads out to the waiting room to fetch Haley and Daveed as well. Matt just fills out the papers, feeling queasy and guilty.

“Why are we here?” Aaron asks quietly. He blinks slowly at Matt.

“Because you're sick, babe,” Matt answers gently. “They have to get your fever down.”

Aaron just looks confused by this. “I...I don't have to work?”

“No, not right now.” Aaron nods a little and rolls over on his side. “Can you drink something?” Aaron shrugs, but when Matt gives him the open bottle of Gatorade, he takes it and drinks a few sips. “Great.”

“Hey, Aaron.” Haley smiles as she comes in with Daveed and the nurse on her heels. “How are you feeling?”

“Not…” Aaron frowns, then says after a few seconds, “I'm fine.”

“No, you are not,” Daveed says quickly. He offers Aaron a small smile. “But they'll take care of your fever and you'll feel better soon.”

Aaron looks at Matt. “I don't want to be here.”

“I know, babe.” Matt takes his hand and squeezes gently. “But you have to stay, at least until they can get your fever down.” He brushes some of Aaron's sweaty hair away from his forehead. Aaron recoils from the touch and Matt whispers a quick apology.

The nurse asks Daveed and Haley the same questions she'd been asking Matt. Turns out, Aaron's been feeling bad for almost a week. It makes sense, sort of, considering that the single night they usually get to spend together, Aaron was distant the entire time. He'd said he was just busy, and he had spent the entire evening bent over his books and his laptop, but usually he at least made some effort to spend what little time he could with Matt. Aaron doesn't say anything during this time, just lays there and stares at the wall and blinks slowly every now and again.

The nurse leaves, but she comes back a short while later and announces that they're going to go ahead and admit him and get him into a room. Matt walks with them as they move the bed to the elevator and then up several floors. Once they're settled, other nurses come in and they hook Aaron up to some bags through the IV. They also announce that if his fever isn't down within the hour, they'll put him in an ice bath. Matt looks to Aaron at that, expecting a reaction, but he doesn't move.

“God, I've never seen him like this,” Haley mutters as she chews at one of her fingernails. “I expected him to at least protest the ice bath with as much as he hates the cold.”

“He's been like this since I called Daveed earlier,” Matt says. That's been over an hour ago now. “I'm not really looking forward to going through that with him, honestly. Not the way he is right now.”

“Why is that?” Daveed asks with a frown.

Matt shrugs. “I don't know how he'll react. Doesn't happen often, but he'll have panic attacks sometimes. Usually when he's really stressed out and shit just doesn't go right. It can be something really small that starts it, but it's like...like when a turkey explodes out of a pressure cooker, ya know?”

Haley nods. “Yeah.” She sinks into one of the chairs in the room. “If we aren't around, make sure you let them know that's a possibility. They need to be prepared to handle it.” Matt nods. “This sucks so bad.”

“Let us hope what they gave him is enough to help for now.” Daveed does something on his phone. “We really won't be able to stay, I'm afraid. We should head down now.” Haley stands and they say a soft goodbye to Aaron and Matt, though Matt is the only one to respond. They both promise to check in later.

Matt texts Katelyn, since he promised he would, and he tells her everything that's going on. After a long moment of debate with himself, he texts Andrew as well. Andrew calls him almost immediately after.

“What do you mean he's sick and in the hospital?” Andrew asks.

“I mean that his fever got up to almost a hundred and six and he's totally fucking out of it,” Matt snaps, pissed off at Andrew's biting tone. “They only just moved him to a room and we've barely been here for an hour.”

“What caused the fever?” Andrew asks, his voice back to the usual deadness Matt expects from him.

“Probably the flu. He's been coughing and has a runny nose and he puked a couple of times. They've got him on a bunch of medicine, but if the fever doesn't go down any within the hour, they're putting him in an ice bath.” Matt yanks a hand through his hair. “I knew he wasn't okay when I got back from running to the store for him and I found him in the tub.”

“Fuck.” Matt can agree with that. “Let me talk to him.”

“I don't know how much he'll say, or even if he'll understand you, but sure.” Matt hands Aaron the phone. Aaron just stares at it for a moment before Matt guides his hand up to his ear. Aaron won't even hold it in place, though, so Matt just takes it back and holds it for him.

After a long pause, Aaron says, “I don't know,” in a small voice. Then he says, “No.” After that he looks up at Matt, so Matt takes the phone back.

“What did you say to him?” Matt asks. Aaron curls up into as small a space as he can. Matt rubs his shoulder and back through the blanket tucked around him.

“None of your concern, Boyd,” Andrew says angrily.

“It damn well is my fucking concern,” Matt snaps. “Whatever you said freaked him out.”

“I asked if he wanted to be there, and he said he did not,” Andrew grates out. Matt hears the spark of a lighter.

“Of course he doesn't!” Matt only barely stops himself from shouting. “It's the fucking hospital, Andrew. Who wants to be in the hospital? Do you know what he asked me earlier, right after we got here? He asked if he had to work. That's how out of it he is. He has no fucking clue what's going on right now. One of the nurses said that the fever was causing confusion.”

Andrew hangs up on him. Matt wants to throw his phone, outraged at how fucking petty Andrew can be sometimes, but he resists the temptation if only because he needs to be able to contact people. He drags one of the chairs closer to the bed and sits. He holds Aaron's hand and sighs a little.

“Are you mad at - at me?” Aaron asks quietly.

“No, baby,” Matt says softly, rubbing his hand. “I'm not mad at you. I'm frustrated with Andrew because he made you feel bad.”

“Oh.” Aaron doesn't say anything else. Matt texts with Katelyn off and on, tells his mom what's going on as well, and just waits. Aaron dozes. When the nurses eventually do come back, Aaron's temperature hasn't budged. Before they can go prepare an ice bath for him, he lets them know about the possibility for a panic attack. They nod and thank him for letting them know. A half-hour later, Aaron is taken out of the room and Matt is left to wait, alone, and hope everything goes okay.

It takes a long time for them to bring Aaron back. He's shivering and his lips are almost blue. They tell Matt the fever is down to a much safer level and their focus will be keeping it there. Aaron is still dazed, but not from the fever now. They'd dosed him up with something, apparently. Almost as soon as Aaron is in the bed, he curls up in the blankets and goes straight to sleep. The nurses promise to return in a few hours.

Matt uses this time to head down to his truck and get their bags. Back in the room, he just puts them in the corner after digging out his charger. He bends over the edge of Aaron's bed and rests his head on his arms. He holds Aaron's hand as he falls into his own fitful doze. He isn't comfortable enough to sleep soundly, but he doesn't mind much. He'd rather be able to wake up if Aaron moves.

At one point in the night, he does. He yanks away from Matt and nearly falls out of the bed in his haste to get to the bathroom. Matt winces as Aaron vomits yet again. A nurse gives Aaron some medicine for that as well when she comes to check on him. The rest of the night and most of the morning is spent with Aaron sleeping and coughing and shivering, but his fever never goes quite as high again.

Haley and Daveed make good on their promise and stop by twice before their shift ends at nine am. Haley gives Matt a cup of coffee when she crosses the room, and Matt thanks her. Aaron wakes up a little, and while he's somewhat more responsive than he was the night before, he isn't back to normal, either. When Haley yawns three times in the space of five minutes, Matt tells them to go home and get some rest. He promises to text them and let them know how Aaron is later. They go, and Matt spends the next several hours watching tv or playing on his phone.

That afternoon, Aaron comes back to life somewhat. Matt gives him his phone and his bookbag to keep him happy. The nurse scolds Aaron for trying to do his school work, but Aaron just flips him off and continues on. The nurse looks to Matt, expecting to be backed, but Matt just grins and shakes his head. He tells the nurse to learn to pick his battles. The nurse huffs angrily, finishes whatever he's doing to Aaron, and leaves again.

“I'm ready to leave,” Aaron mutters, shutting his laptop. It's now nearly seven pm. Matt's left a couple of times to get himself some food, but the one time Aaron tried to eat anything, he puked it up again almost immediately. “I feel like shit, and I just want to go home.”

“I know, babe, but we gotta stay.” Matt stretches a little. “You still can't eat anything, and your fever keeps going up and down a lot. You seriously freaked me out last night, ya know?”

“I can't even really remember anything,” Aaron says quietly. “It's all sort of...fuzzy.”

“You were mostly just confused about what was going on, I think,” Matt says. “I found you in the tub when I got back home, and I knew you weren't all right. I called Daveed first, since I figured Katelyn was asleep, and he's the one who said to bring you here. You're temp was at nearly a hundred and six. Then once we got here, you asked why we were here if you had to work and stuff.”

“Fuck,” Aaron sighs, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. Whatever meds they've been giving him have helped with the cough and congestion, at least. Nothing else seems to be helping him any. “This sucks so bad. I'm sorry. You don't have to stay here.”

Matt scoffs. “I'm not gonna just leave you here alone. And you don't have anything to be sorry about. It's not like you asked to get the flu. Anyway. You wanna try to eat again, or wait?” Aaron nods a little, so Matt gets up and heads out of the room in search of some soup or something equally light for Aaron to attempt to eat. They'd just given him another dose of nausea medicine, so Matt hopes he'll be able to keep it down this time.

He manages to get a bowl of soup and a sandwich for Aaron, plus some food for himself. They eat in silence, but it's nice rather than strained. Aaron doesn't eat much, but Matt considers him eating anything at all win at this point. He counts another win after about a half an hour, since Aaron hasn't run to puke again. A doctor comes by and discharges Aaron a little bit later, so Aaron sends Haley, Daveed, and Katelyn a text to let them know he's heading home. Matt bundles him up in his coat before they head down to the front doors, but Matt makes Aaron wait inside while he goes to get his truck. Surprisingly - or, perhaps not, considering how tired Aaron still is - Aaron doesn't complain.

When they finally get home, Matt spends some time cleaning and disinfecting everything while Aaron showers. His fever hasn't been back since around three that afternoon, thankfully, though Matt doesn't plan on letting him forget to keep checking to make sure. Aaron puts up only a token protest when Matt crawls into the bed beside him. He doesn't curl up around Aaron like he usually does, as a concession to Aaron's insistence that Matt sleep in the guest room, but he does offer his hand across the mattress instead. Aaron rolls his eyes, but he does take it. Even though it's still a little early for the both of them, they sleep, and Aaron slowly begins to get better.