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Chapter Text

Louis received the devastating news in Stockholm. They were on their third world tour and were given a few days off before their next show. Zayn came into the presidential suite they were sharing, his brows furrowed and biting his lip. He had a letter in his hand. This letter should never have made it past their security team and into the hands of the bandmates, but evil always has a way of getting through.

“Hey, Z,” Louis greeted, looking up from the TV. “ Whatcha got there?”

“Um… It’s a letter,” Zayn stuttered, biting his lip harder with the taste of blood seeping into his mouth. He tried to sit on the couch but missed and hit the floor instead. He ran his hand through his hair, making no move to get up. Bewildered, his eyes were directed at the letter, never wavering.

“Zayn…” Louis started, moving to sit on the edge of the couch. It seemed impossible, but Louis knew whom the letter was from. Suddenly he felt hot, and his ears were ringing, the TV becoming white noise in the background. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Zayn, please… Don’t say it, please.”

“What’s going on?” Harry asked, coming into the room with two cups of tea in his hands. Feeling the tension in the room, he looked around at his friends until his eyes landed on the letter in Zayn’s shaky hands. The silence hung in the air like a vice grip around everyone, except for the shattering crash of the teacups. The tension was so thick they could taste it.

“Alex.”

~*~

“Louis, I don’t understand. You give me this name, tell me not to let him anywhere near you but you don’t tell me why. What is going on?”

Louis let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wondered why his manager just didn’t get it.

“It doesn’t matter why. I don’t need to give you a reason. Just put his name on a list, tell the security team, and don’t let him within 500 feet of me or the boys.” Louis ordered, staring hard at his manager. He knew he was being an ass, but he didn’t care. This was a matter of life and death, and he was not going to allow that devil back into his life. His manager sat behind his desk with his hands together as he stared back at him, contemplating his options. After a few long seconds, his manager leaned forward and took a deep breath.

“No, not until you give me a reason. If he wants to see a show and is willing to buy a ticket, I’m letting him.”

“Are you crazy?” Louis shouted, pulling at his hair. “He is dangerous and I don’t want him near me!”

“He doesn’t look very dangerous,” Simon pondered, looking down at the photograph Louis had given him. Simon looked up at him. “What did he do?”

“Oh my God,” Louis shrieked. He pulled his hair harder, breathing heavily. Louis slammed his fists on the desk and came nose-to-nose with his incompetent manager. “He fucking tried to kill me, dammit! I don’t want him near me!”

“Okay, okay,” Simon said, holding his hands up in a truce. “Calm down. I will see what I can do, okay?”

“I swear,” Louis threatened, glaring at him. He pointed a finger at him. “If I die because you failed to protect me, I’ll haunt you for the rest of your life. I can promise you that.”

Louis stalked out of the office, fuming. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, pulling it every which way. The letter was seared into his mind. He could still hear the retched voice speaking the words that his killer hands had written.

Zayn,

I know about you. I know how you weaseled your way into his life. I’ve watched you two together, and you’ve become very close. You chose him over me. You betrayed me, Zayn, your friend. You turned me in and in my eyes, that is a death sentence.

Unfortunately for you, I’m out on an early release for good behavior. Can you believe it? My luck is finally changing. Louis’, however, is about to run out. I will find him. I will find all of you; he won’t be so fortunate when I do. He is my ultimate target, but if you or any of the others get in my way, I will stop at nothing until I get him where I want him. Believe me, you can only guess where that is.

I’ll be seeing you, Zayn…

~*~

“Hello, Stockholm!” Liam shouted, his voice getting drowned out by the screams from the crowd. The guys each ran to opposite ends of the stage and down the catwalk to greet their fans. They could feel the blood pumping in their ears and their hearts pounding in their chests. The adrenaline flowed through their bodies like a drug, giving them a high they’d never felt before.

“We’ve got a story we want to tell you,” Niall said, putting his guitar strap over his shoulder. He sat on a stool, tuning his guitar to the right chord.

“About seven years ago, I was in a very dark place in my life,” Louis began, sitting on a stool center stage. The boys sat behind him, biting their lips. This story was difficult for them to hear because they already knew it. They experienced it. Harry placed a loving hand on his shoulder, and Louis reached up to hold onto it. He smiled softly, holding his anchor. Louis looked back at Harry, silently asking him if he was okay. Harry nodded and gripped his hand, placing a soft kiss on it. Louis took a deep breath and looked back at the crowd.

“I was in an abusive relationship for six years of my life. My judgment was clouded by what I thought was love. But, it was fear. I was terrified of my boyfriend. There were times when I thought he was going to kill me. He almost did, once.” Louis shared, keeping his eyes on the stage floor. The arena was eerily silent as he told his story. He didn’t want to see their faces, which were no doubt filled with pity, sorrow, anger, heartbreak, and other emotions he couldn’t describe.

“These four boys saved me,” Louis continued, gesturing to his best friends. He looked at each of them, smiling gratefully. “They mean the absolute world to me, and if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. I wanted to share my story with you because I feel you need to know.”

Louis finally gained the courage to look out at his fans. Some of them had tears falling, others were clutching their chest. Louis blew a kiss to them before walking over to his piano. He sat down and played a few keys. He stopped and turned to face the crowd once more.

“One more thing,” Louis started, taking the time to look around the arena. “I’m begging you. If you are or ever get into an abusive relationship, please, get out. Leaving him was my life’s hardest, scariest, and best decision. I’m begging you with everything in me, don’t ever put up with that. Nobody deserves the kind of pain I endured.”

“So this first song is one that I wrote when I first began to realize what was going on. None of the boys have heard it, and I’ve never played it for anyone.” Louis explained, starting to play.

We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain. We jumped, never asking why. We kissed. I fell under your spell. A love no one could deny. Oh, don’t you ever say I just walked away. I will always want you. And I can’t live a lie running for my life. I will always want you.

I came in like a wrecking ball. I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was wreck me. Yeah, you, you wreck me.

I put you up high in the sky and now, we’re not coming down. I slowly turned, you let me burn and now, we’re ashes on the ground. Don’t you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you. I can’t live a lie, running for my life. Oh, no…

I came in like a wrecking ball. I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was wreck me. I came in like a wrecking ball. I just closed my eyes and swung. Left me crashing in a blazing fall, all you ever did was wreck me. Yeah, you, you wreck me.

I never meant to start a war. I just wanted to let me in, and instead of using force, I guess I should’ve let you win. I never meant to start a war. I guess I should’ve let you win. I guess I should’ve let you win. Oh, don’t you ever say I just walked away, I will always want you.

I came in like a wrecking ball. I never hit so hard in love. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was wreck me.

I came in like a wrecking ball. Oh, I closed my eyes. Oh, I closed my eyes and swung. All I wanted was to break your walls. All you ever did was, all you ever did was wreck me. Oh, you wreck me…

Louis had tears falling before he even finished the song. He pinched the bridge of his nose, willing his tears to cease. Harry walked over, pulling Louis to his feet. He wrapped his arms around him, cradling Louis against his chest. Louis’ shoulders shook as he began crying into his partner’s shirt. He reached his arms around, gripping the back of his shirt. Louis thought he was stronger. He thought he could tell his story.

“Harry,” Louis whispered, shaking slightly. “Harry, I can’t. I can’t do this.”

“Baby, you can,” Harry soothed, running a hand through his hair. He pulled back just a little, reaching a hand up to wipe his tears. “I’m right here. The boys are right here. We’re not going anywhere. I promise.”

Louis sniffled, wiping his eyes. He looked up at Harry, searching his eyes for any doubt. Finding none, he nodded and kissed his cheek. Whispering a sweet nothing, he sat back down on the piano stool. Harry stood behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders. He gently kissed the top of his head, smiling softly as Louis began to play a nameless melody.

“Before I became a band with these boys, I worked at a bar Liam used to own. It was named Whiskey Kiss, and it was my haven. When things were terrible at home, I would go there. So, naturally, I was there all the time.”

Louis stopped, taking a few deep breaths. He shook his hands out, praying they would stop shaking long enough for him to play. He leaned back against Harry’s chest and closed his eyes, feeling his warmth.

“I asked that this concert be available to fans sixteen and older because I didn’t want our younger fans to hear my story.” Louis rubbed his hands on his pants. They were beginning to sweat, his telltale sign of fear.

“I was raped,” Louis confessed, his eyes brimming with tears. “Granted, he never did until the end, but he was getting desperate. Trust me, I’m not making excuses for him. But, I lived with him for six years so I knew what he thought and how he acted. I knew that he would get crazy and not think things through when he felt me beginning to stray away from him.”

Harry’s grip on his shoulders tightened slightly, silently telling Louis he was getting angry. Louis reached up, stroking his fingers across the backs of his hands. Harry visibly relaxed, putting his head to Louis’.

“I changed my mind,” Harry whispered, nudging his nose against Louis’ ear. “Please don’t. I can’t hear it again.”

“I have to, Haz,” Louis responded, kissing his fingertips. Louis turned his head to look up at him, finding tears pooling in his partner’s luscious green eyes. “Baby, I want the fans to know my story. Our story.”

“I just,” Harry sniffled, rubbing the back of his hand furiously against his eyes. “It was so hard, seeing you like that. I know I wasn’t there at the beginning of it, but I wish every day that I was. You have no idea how much I wish I could go back just to be able to keep you from meeting him.”

“Harry,” Louis said, standing from the piano stool. He slid his hands over his shoulders, shaking him a bit. He locked eyes with him. “Don’t. Okay? Don’t talk like that. I’m thankful I met you when I did. I know it was a rotten time in my life, but I wouldn’t go back and change it. I am who I am because of it. Also, I wouldn't have met you if it weren’t for everything happening to me.”

Harry stared into his eyes, feeling comfort. He nodded, running a hand through his curls. “Okay. Yeah, okay.”

“Babe, it’s okay,” Louis said, kissing his cheek. He positioned himself back on the piano stool. He looked up at Harry, patting the seat beside him. Harry joined him on the piano stool, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“These songs,” Louis started, looking at the crowd. “They’re not in any order. This song that I’m about to play is about Harry.”

There were screams and cheers from the crowd and Louis couldn’t help but smile. He closed his eyes, feeling Harry’s soft lips press against his temple.

“When I first met Harry, he was new to London. He came into Whiskey Kiss on a whim. I’d like to think my voice captivated him.” Louis teased, gently bumping shoulders with him.

“Not true,” Harry countered, turning to the crowd. “When I first met him, I was captivated by his eyes. They’re the most beautiful shade of blue.”

Louis blushed, hiding his face in his hands. He let a soft giggle leave his lips, hearing the crowd cheer. He swatted Harry’s leg with one of his dainty hands before playing another nameless tune.

“Okay, I’ve changed my mind,” Louis decided. “I’m saving my Harry song for later. However, when I wrote this song, I didn’t know it could relate to Harry.” Louis started to play, the band picking up the tune.

I’m not surprised not everything lasts. I’ve broken my heart so many times that I stopped keeping track. I talked myself in. I talked myself out. I get all worked up then I let myself down. I tried so very hard not to lose it. I came up with a million excuses. I thought I thought of every possibility.

And I know someday that it’ll all turn out. You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out. And I promise you, kid, that I’ll give so much more than I get. I just haven’t met you yet.

I might have to wait. I’ll never give up. I guess it’s half timing and the other half’s luck. Wherever you are, whenever it’s right, you’ll come out of nowhere and into my life. And I know that we could be so amazing and maybe your love is gonna change me. Now I can see every possibility.

But, somehow I know that it’ll all turn out. You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out. And I promise you, kid, that I’ll give so much more than I get. I just haven’t met you yet.

They say all’s fair in love and war. But, I won’t need to fight it. We’ll get it right and we’ll be united. Oh, you know that it’ll all turn out! You’ll make me work so we can work to work it out. And I promise you, kid, that I’ll give so much more than I get. I just haven’t met you yet…

The song positively floored Harry. He couldn’t stop staring while Louis’ lyrics flowed flawlessly from his lips. He surged forward, capturing Louis’ mouth with his. He put so much passion and overall love into the kiss that Louis was simply taken aback. By instinct, his fingers threaded themselves in Harry’s curls, pulling him closer.

“How about Like I’m Gonna Lose You?” Harry whispered against his lips, slowly pulling away to look into his eyes.

“Okay,” Louis agreed, smiling. He kissed his cheek, taking a deep breath. “This next song Harry and I wrote together. This is our song, one hundred percent. It took Harry and me months to write this song, so we hope you like it.”

Louis began playing, smiling softly as the boys joined in. Harry placed a kiss on Louis’ perfectly messy fringe, his voice carrying through the arena.

I found myself dreaming in silver and gold like a scene from a movie that every broken heart knows. We were walking on moonlight and you pulled me close. Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone. I woke up in tears with you by my side. Breath of relief and I realized no, we’re not promised tomorrow.

So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye. Wherever we’re standing, I won’t take you for granted. ‘Cause we’ll never know when, when we’ll run out of time. So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you.

In the blink of an eye, just a whisper of smoke, you could lose everything. The truth is you’ll never know. So I’ll kiss you longer, baby. Any chance that I get and I’ll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets. Let’s take our time to say what we want. Use what we got before it’s all gone. No, we’re not promised tomorrow.

So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye. Wherever we’re standing, I won’t take you for granted. ‘Cause we’ll never know when, when we’ll run out of time. So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you…

So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna hold you like I’m saying goodbye. Wherever we’re standing, I won’t take you for granted. ‘Cause we’ll never know when, when we’ll run out of time. So I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you. I’m gonna love you like I’m gonna lose you…

The concert went by in a flash, filled with meaningful songs and witty banter between the five-member group. Louis felt as if he was flying. During their last song, he looked at each of his four best friends and silently thanked the heavens above for having blessed him with four angels.

In simple words, without those four angels, because that’s what they were, Louis would be dead. He never would have gained the courage to run away from everything he’s known and throttle headfirst into something completely different. At one point in the show, Harry reached over and tangled his fingers with Louis’ and in that tender touch, Louis knew that he could and would overcome anything that Alex sent him.

Chapter Text

The screams rang through the flat. There was no stopping it. Zayn and Liam charged through the door, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. Tears pooled in both sets of brown eyes, watching as their best friend thrashed violently on the bed.

“Louis, please! You can’t leave me!” Harry tossed and turned, tears unknowingly streaming down his face. Liam ran to him, holding him still on the bed.

“Harry, please! Wake up!” Liam pleaded, tears falling down Harry’s naked chest. Harry jolted awake, green eyes clouded by the nightmare. He looked around, his eyes finally settling on Liam.

“L-Li…” Harry begged, staring up at his older friend. Liam shook his head solemnly, biting his lip to fight the tears. Harry let out a pitiful wail, curling into a ball. He gripped his curls, yanking on them as he cried. The boys didn’t have the heart to stop him, they never did. Their hearts broke, hearing his screams. They wanted to help him desperately, but they couldn’t. They couldn’t do anything other than sit there and watch Harry relive the horrible memory of Louis leaving him for another life.

~*~

“You’re amazing,” Harry breathed, pressing his lips against the shell of Louis’ ear. He wrapped his arms around his lover’s sweaty body, pulling him closer. “You’re breathtaking, Lou.”

“Haz…” Louis sighed, turning into his boyfriend’s chest. He nuzzled his nose against his neck, breathing in the fragrance that was Harry. Times like these were what Louis cherished most. Just lying in bed, feeling spent from hours of passionate lovemaking, wrapped in each other’s arms.

“I’m serious, Lou,” Harry said, rolling on top of him. He ran his hands up Louis’ toned body, kissing his lips lovingly. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, but you are so beautiful. So, so beautiful and you’re all mine.”

“Mm, all yours.” Louis breathed, relishing in the touch. Tilting his head back, he arched his back feeling Harry kiss down his chest. He ran a hand through the sweaty curls, slowly and gently pulling on them just to hear the delicious moans come from Harry’s wonderful, pink lips.

“I wrote you something,” Harry announced.

“You did? Like a song?” Louis asked, leaning up on his elbows. Harry looked up, locking eyes with him. He nodded slowly, biting his lip.

“Well, let me hear it! Please!” Louis exclaimed, sitting up the rest of the way. Harry laughed softly, standing from the bed. Slipping on his boxers, Harry started walking toward their living room. He stopped in the doorway, turning to Louis. He raised an eyebrow, beckoning him to follow. Louis smirked, jumping out of bed. He pranced to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his neck. Harry leaned down, gripping Louis’ thighs. He lifted him, Louis hooking his legs around his waist.

“I love you,” Harry declared, kissing him softly before carrying him into the living room. Setting him down on the couch, Harry walked over and picked up their guitar. Harry sat down next to Louis and smiled.

“What’s the song called?” Louis whispered, not wanting to break their tender moment.

“It’s called Thinking Out Loud,” Harry answered, beginning to play.

When your legs don’t work like they used to before and I can’t sweep you off of your feet, will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

Darling, I will be loving you ’til we’re 70, and baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23. I’m thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe just the touch of a hand. Me, I fall in love with you every single day and I just wanna tell you I am.

So honey now take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I’m thinking out loud that maybe we found love right where we are.

When your hair’s all but gone and my memory fades and the crowds don’t remember my name. When my hands don’t play the strings the same way, I know you will still love me the same.

‘Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it’s evergreen. Baby, your smile’s forever in my mind and memory. I’m thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe it’s all part of a plan. I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes hoping that you’ll understand…

That baby now take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I’m thinking out loud maybe we found love right where we are.

So baby now take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart. I’m thinking out loud that maybe we found love right where we are. Maybe we found love right where we are. Maybe we found love right where we are…

~*~

Traveling the world made Louis feel safe; safer than he could ever feel sitting at home waiting. Louis wasn’t stupid. He knew Alex would find him eventually. Maybe that’s why Harry and Liam took up boxing. Maybe that’s why Zayn and Niall constantly demanded to know how many tickets have been purchased and who bought them. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why Louis hid under the radar.

Louis was afraid. The boys could sense it when they would come up behind him and pull him into a hug, worry lines creasing their foreheads when he would flinch out of their grasp. Louis felt he was going crazy. It’s been seven years, seven carefree years, and now everything was coming back to him, hitting him like a freight train.

“Louis?” Niall asked, snapping his fingers in front of his friend’s face. Louis blinked a few times, coming back to reality. He looked at Niall, offering a small smile.

“Hey, sorry. Guess I kind of spaced out,” Louis confessed, strumming his guitar. He had enlisted Niall into teaching him how to play the guitar. He had been working on a new song, but it seemed to only work with a guitar and Louis wanted to play this song by himself.

“It’s okay. We all get that way. Just… Don’t think about him, okay? He’s not worth your thoughts anymore, Lou. Let’s focus on your riffs. They’re getting better, but they still need work.” Niall instructed, smiling softly as they dove back into their work. Louis was grateful to have a friend like Niall. Yes, he was worried, but he knew when to be a distraction, and what a thankful distraction he was. He knew just what Louis needed and when he needed it.

~*~

“O2 Arena!” Liam shouted, standing at the end of the stage. Louis stood next to Harry, smiling at the mass crowd waiting to hear them sing. Harry wrapped an arm around Louis’ shoulders, bringing him close.

“Love you,” Harry whispered, kissing his ear. Louis blushed, leaning into his boyfriend.

“I love you, too.”

“We’re gonna start by singing one of the first songs we’ve ever written together. And! It gets better!” Liam exclaimed, turning to Harry and Louis.

“It was written for Harry and Louis!” Niall shouted, his voice being drowned out by the screams and cheers. Niall laughed, grabbing his guitar. Liam walked over, grabbing his guitar as well, sending the crowd into another screaming frenzy.

Baby I, I wanna know what you think when you’re alone. Is it me, yeah? Are you thinking of me, yeah? Yeah, we’ve been friends now for a while. I wanna know that when you smile that it’s me, yeah. That you’re thinking of me, yeah. Whoa, oh.

Lou, what would you do? Would you wanna stay if I were to say…

“Sing it, O2!”

I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your, let me be your last first kiss. I wanna be first, yeah. Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this. And if you only knew I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your last…

Your last first kiss…

“People in the back!”

Baby, tell me what to change. I’m afraid you’ll run away if I tell you what I’ve wanted to tell you, oh.

Maybe I just gotta wait. Maybe this is a mistake. I’m a fool, yeah. Maybe I’m just a fool, yeah. Oh, whoa.

Girl, what would you do? Would you wanna stay if I were to say…

I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your, let me be your last first kiss. I wanna be first, yeah. Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this. And if you only knew I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your last.

Your last first kiss…

“How are we doing up top?”

Your last first kiss!

Girl, what would you do? Would you wanna stay if I were to say…

Your last first kiss!

I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your, let me be your last first kiss. I wanna be first, yeah. Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this. And if you only knew I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your last.

Your last first kiss!

I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your last…

Your last first kiss.

I wanna be last, yeah. Baby, let me be your last…

Your last first kiss…

The boys paraded around the stage, simply just having fun. London was home to all of them. The O2 was their favorite place to play. Louis walked over to Niall, slapping a hand on his shoulder.

“I think I’m ready to play the song,” Louis said, biting his lip.

“Are you sure? Did you finish writing it?” Niall asked, smiling encouragingly.

“I finished it a while ago, but I didn’t want to play it somewhere other than London. London’s my home.”

“Then let’s get you set up,” Niall said, walking over to talk to the band. While Niall discussed the logistics with the band, Harry walked over to Louis.

“Baby, what’s going on?” Harry asked. Louis smiled, taking his hands in his.

“I wrote a song. This is our last show for a couple of weeks, so I want to sing it. I’m doing it by myself. No backup band or vocals. Just me, and a guitar,” Louis explained, tangling their fingers together.

“You learned to play the guitar?” Harry asked, amazed.

“Yeah,” Louis exclaimed. “I can’t wait for you to hear me. I’ve gotten really good.”

“I’ll be right here, listening to every word,” Harry said, kissing Louis softly. Harry kissed him one last time before untangling their hands. Louis walked to center stage, setting his microphone stand up. He slipped his guitar strap over his shoulder, taking a look around the arena.

While setting up, nobody noticed the evil man positioned in the nosebleed section, watching as his target took his place. Nobody knew what the man had in mind for Louis Tomlinson.

“Okay, so most of you know my background and my story. You know about my ex, and what I’ve been through. This song is sort of my ‘Look at me now’ song. This song is to him, to Alex. I wrote this to show him that no matter what, I’m still here and he can’t touch me anymore.” Louis explained, starting to play.

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath, scared to rock the boat and make a mess. So I sat quietly, agreed politely. I guess that I forgot I had a choice. I let you push me past the breaking point. I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything.

You held me down, but I got up already brushing off the dust. You hear my voice, you hear that sound. Like thunder, gonna shake the ground. You held me down, but I got up. Get ready ‘cause I’ve had enough. I see it all, I see it now.

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter dancing through the fire. ‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar louder. Louder than a lion ‘cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar.

Now I’m floating like a butterfly. Stinging like a bee, I earned my stripes. I went from zero to my own hero. You held me down, but I got up already brushing off the dust. You hear my voice, you hear that sound. Like thunder, gonna shake the ground. You held me down, but I got up. Get ready ‘cause I’ve had enough. I see it all, I see it now.

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter dancing through the fire. ‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar louder. Louder than a lion ‘cause I am champion and you’re gonna hear me roar.

And you’re gonna hear me roar. And you’re gonna hear me roar. Roar, roar, roar, roar, roar. I got the eye of the tiger! A fighter dancing through the fire. ‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar louder. Louder than a lion ‘cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar. You’re gonna hear me roar. You’re gonna hear me roar.

The arena erupted into applause as Louis took a bow. He smiled, lifting a hand to wave at the crowd. He scanned his eyes around, smiling more at the thousands of fans who came to see them play.

Alex glared at his ex, watching him soak up the fame as if he deserved it as if he belonged in the spotlight. He couldn’t take it anymore. Something had to be done and it had to be done now. Nobody paid any attention to him as Alex escaped the confines of his arena seat. He made his way out, pulling his hood up to shield his face. Nobody saw.

~*~

“Lou, that song was amazing! Like seriously!” Zayn exclaimed, throwing an arm around his shoulder as they made their way to the tour buses. Louis smiled at him, reaching for Harry’s hand.

“Yeah, Lou. You’ve got some mad skill,” Liam gushed.

“Mad skill?” Louis asked, laughing at his best friend.

“I’m hungry. I wonder if Andrew will drive us to Nando’s before we go to the airport. The States are next, yeah?” Niall asked, walking a little further ahead than his friends.

“Seriously, Niall,” Harry said, shaking his head. “How are you in this band? You don’t know where we are half the time; the rest of the time, you’re worried about missing a meal.”

“I’ll let you know that I am a crucial member of this band.”

“Oh, yeah? How so?” Zayn teased, smirking at his Irish friend.

“I taught Louis how to play the guitar so he could sing his song tonight,” Niall said, proudly. The boys nodded in defeat, reaching the buses. Zayn and Niall got in to place dibs on the X-Box and mini fridge. A chilled breeze blew through the other three, causing a shiver to run down their spines. Louis looked up at the sky, seeing dark clouds coming in.

“I think a storm’s coming,” Louis pondered, biting his lip in concern. He was never one for storms. He stepped closer to Harry, trying to shield himself from the cold.

“We’re not leaving until tomorrow morning, babe. If it does storm, I’m sure it’ll be over before we take off,” Harry comforted, pulling him into a tight embrace. Louis hugged his boyfriend, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Louis wanted to tell his boyfriend what he thought. He wanted to tell him that he didn’t mean an actual storm. He wanted to tell his significant other that he felt something evil among them.

Louis pulled away and softly kissed Harry’s lips, not wanting to worry him. He smiled at him before making his way inside the tour bus. At least in there, he knew he was safe. He passed by Zayn and Niall before entering his and Harry’s single-bedroom compartment. Sliding the door closed, Louis leaned against it and began to cry the silent tears of fear.

Voices carried through the open window, ceasing Louis’ tears for the time being. He quietly moved toward the window, listening to Harry and Liam’s seemingly private conversation.

“How is he doing?” Liam asked, leaning against the bus.

“I think,” Harry started, looking around. Sighing, he turned his attention to Liam and shrugged. “I think he’s putting on a brave front. I think he wants us to think he’s okay and he’s not scared, but his eyes betray what he’s saying. I know he’s scared. But, I’m going to protect him. I love him and I’ll die if it means keeping him safe.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, though. By tomorrow night, we’ll be out of the country and we’ll be gone for months. We don’t even know where he is,” Liam said, crossing his arms.

“Exactly,” Harry stated, running a hand through his curls. “Liam, we don’t know where he is. He could be anywhere. He could have been at our show tonight.”

“Bullshit. Our security team knows his name and what he looks like. He would never have gotten in.”

“Liam, the guy has been in prison for seven years. The only picture the security has of him is the one from his old company website. He could have changed his appearance or his name.”

“Harry, stop. Okay? He’s not going to hurt Louis. We won’t let him,” Liam promised, bringing Harry into a hug.

“If he touches Louis, I’ll kill him,” Harry declared, walking onto the bus with Liam. Harry said his goodnights to the boys before retreating to the room. Sliding the door open, Harry walked inside and was faced with a sight he never wanted to see.

“Oh, baby,” Harry said, making his way to Louis. He wrapped his arms around Louis and held him tight as he began openly crying into his lover’s chest. All the memories, tears, and abuse returned to him as if they had never left.

“H-Harry…” Louis cried, looking up at him. “If he finds me, he’ll k-kill me. I know he will.”

“No, Louis. Stop,” Harry demanded, taking his face in his hands. “Listen to me. Alex is not going to find you, okay? And if he does, he’ll have to go through our security team and then the four of us before he can even touch you, okay? We’re going to protect you.”

“I don’t want to die, Harry,” Louis whispered, fresh tears falling down his face. Harry’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at his boyfriend, his Louis, who was filled to the brim with fear.

“Louis William Tomlinson,” Harry said, wiping his tears away. “You are not going to die. I’ll die before I let it happen. If you die, so will I.”

Looking back on that moment, Harry never realized how true those words were. Harry cherished every moment he ever had with Louis because, in the beginning, he didn’t know how many he’d have with him. He never could have predicted getting signed to a record deal with Louis and their three best friends.

He never could have predicted that everything would crash down on him, that everything that ever mattered to him would be ripped away from his grasp as he desperately tried to hold on. Harry didn’t know that, at that moment, it was going to be the last time he saw the love of his life alive.

Chapter Text

Harry and Louis spent the rest of their night roaming each other’s bodies with kisses and tender touches. Harry fell asleep as soon as the adrenaline of the concert and sex faded away, but Louis lay awake staring up at the ceiling. Feeling the bus stop, Louis untangled himself from Harry’s grasp and pulled on some boxers and one of Harry’s hoodies.

Quietly, Louis made his way to the front of the bus. Letting himself into the driver’s compartment, he looked at their driver, Andrew.

“Are we almost at the airport?”

“Yeah, just a few more minutes. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Andrew asked, glancing at Louis before returning his eyes to the road.

“Yeah, but I just couldn’t. Too restless, I guess,” Louis explained, feeling content with watching the cars passing by.

“You’ll be okay, Lou,” Andrew promised. Louis forgot sometimes that the crew people were his friends, too. Hearing Andrew, their driver, promise that he was going to be okay made him realize how many people were there for him.

“I want to believe that, Drew. I do. I’ve become so accustomed to this lifestyle, to him being behind bars. Now that he’s out, all these memories are coming back. These memories are punishing me for ever letting myself think I could forget about him.”

“You’re allowed to be happy, Louis. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy. I’m assuming Harry makes you happy, yeah?”

“Is that even a question worth asking? Harry saved me when I thought I couldn’t be saved. The other lads helped me heal, too. But reading that letter back in Stockholm, and seeing his handwriting again, made me realize that this is my life. That he was a huge part of my life and whether I want to admit it or not, he impacted me more than anyone ever has. Alex isn’t stupid. He knows exactly what to do and say to get under my skin. He knows that as long as I know he’s out of prison, I’m going to be walking on eggshells until he either finds me and kills me or until I drive myself crazy by thinking he’s out to get me,” Louis confessed, wringing his hands together. Seeing the exit for the airport, Louis breathed a sigh of relief. Alex couldn’t touch him when he would be thousands of miles in the air. If he could just stay in the air for the rest of his life, he would.

Sneaking a cigarette from Zayn’s pack, Louis walked outside once the bus reached the airport. Standing behind the bus, Louis lit his cigarette, took a few nervous drags, and looked around him. It was barely dawn when they pulled in and a layer of fog settled itself around him. Experimentally, Louis held a hand in front of his face to see how thick the fog was.

Stamping his cigarette out, Louis turned to go back inside and came face to face with someone he thought he would never see again. Alex grabbed him in that second, covering his mouth with his hand to silence his screams. Nobody saw the struggle as Alex dragged him away, the fog covering his tracks as he disappeared into the darkness.

~*~

Alex tied Louis’ wrists together and placed tape over his mouth. Shoving him into his backseat, Alex took his place in the driver’s seat. Louis struggled in the back, desperately trying to get his hands free. Tears fell helplessly from his eyes as his worst nightmare started happening. He felt the car rear back as Alex stomped on the gas and sped away.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Louis,” Alex sneered, looking at Louis in the rearview mirror. Watching Louis struggle filled Alex with a sense of happiness. “How long has it been? Seven years?”

Louis ignored him, struggling with his hands behind his back. He felt as if his chest was on fire from hyperventilating and not being able to get enough air with his mouth taped shut. He fought against the tape as he tried to pull his hands free. He could barely feel the hairs on his arms being pulled at by the glue on the tape. Louis moved to the door, trying to get his hands on the door handle.

“You can try all you want,” Alex smirked, hitting the unlock button. Louis desperately pulled the handle, but the door wouldn’t budge. Alex laughed and locked the doors back. “You can’t get out unless I let you out, Lou.”

Louis cringed at the sound of his nickname. That name was reserved for Harry. Realizing that Harry wasn’t there to save him, Louis began to cry earnestly as he fought uselessly against the restraints. What was Harry going to do when he woke up and realized that Louis wasn’t next to him?

~*~

“Louis! Harry! Get your lazy asses up! We have a plane to catch,” Niall announced, banging his fist against the couple’s door. Harry stirred awake, reaching for Louis. Feeling the empty bed, Harry sat up and looked around. Realizing he was alone, Harry sprang from the bed and flung the door open.

“Where’s Louis?” Harry questioned, looking at Niall. Harry’s heart started pounding harder and he could feel the blood draining from his face.

“Isn’t he in there with you?” Niall asked softly, biting his lip. An uneasy feeling settled in his gut, knowing Louis wasn’t with the other lads.

“No, he’s not, Niall. Where the fuck is he?” Harry shouted, pushing past his friend. He ran to the tour bus door and opened it, stepping outside wearing just his boxers. He threw his hands into his curls, looking around.

“Louis!” Harry called, looking for any sign of his boyfriend. Niall followed Harry out, calling for his friend. Hearing the yells, Liam came around the back of the bus to find out what was going on.

“Harry?” Liam asked, walking toward him. Harry looked at him helplessly and put a hand on his chest, saying a silent prayer.

“Louis…” Harry said, starting to cry. His shoulders shook as all the scared, insecure feelings came rushing in. He cried loudly, putting a fist to his mouth and biting his knuckle. This was not happening. Liam knew then that Louis was missing. Running to their bodyguard, he grabbed his arm as tears pooled in his eyes.

“Louis is missing. Please tell me someone’s seen him.” Liam begged. Paul looked down at him and shook his head. He gripped Liam’s arms and looked at him, trying to steady him.

“You have to stay calm, Liam. We can’t let this get out until we know more. We will find him. Let me handle it,” Paul promised, pulling his phone out. Dialing a number, he hurried away to notify the security team.

“We are not leaving until we find him,” Harry demanded, looking at his friends. “I am not getting on a plane without him!”

~*~

Alex slammed on the brakes in the middle of the roadway, causing Louis to fall forward into the front seat. Alex removed his hoodie and set it beneath him, sitting on it. He reached over, opening the glove compartment. He grabbed a pair of pliers. Grabbing a fistful of Louis’ hair, he pulled him back into a sitting position.

Louis struggled against Alex, his breath coming in short bursts through his nose. Alex grabbed him by the throat, squeezing his windpipes. Louis’ face started to turn red from the loss of oxygen and quit moving to preserve his air.

“This might hurt just a bit,” Alex warned, ripping the tape off of Louis’ mouth. He started to scream, but a backhand to the face silenced him quickly. Alex grabbed Louis by the jaw, forcing his mouth open. He stuck the pliers inside with his free hand, gripping one of Louis’ teeth. Louis struggled to talk over the pliers, pleading with Alex.

“I need your DNA, love,” Alex confessed, pulling just a little bit to test his grip. Louis groaned, trying to move away from him. “The world needs to think you’re dead.”

Louis looked at him with wide eyes, and at that moment, Alex twisted and yanked one of Louis’ teeth out of his mouth. Louis screamed in pain, blood quickly filling his mouth.

“You fucking asshole!” Louis shouted, spitting blood in Alex’s face. He brought his knees to his chest and kicked Alex back into the dashboard. If Alex was going to kill him, he was going to die fighting.

Louis lay down on the back seat and started to kick at the window, hoping to break it. Alex righted himself, wiping his face with the hoodie he had in the seat. Alex climbed in the back seat, straddling Louis and holding him down. He reared his fist back, punching Louis in the nose. Feeling his nose crack, Louis let out another scream. Blood started pouring out of his nostrils, onto the seat.

“I won’t kill you,” Alex said, pulling Louis up by his shirt. Louis started choking on blood as he tried to fight through the pain. “But I’m going to make you wish you were dead.”

Louis stared into Alex’s hard eyes, contemplating his fate. In the next second, a horn started blaring. Alex and Louis looked up in time to see a tanker truck heading their way. The truck driver slammed on his brakes, tires squealing and smoking.

Alex tried to climb into the front seat, but the truck was coming too fast. They would never get away in time.

“Alex! Fucking drive or we’re going to die!” Louis screamed, watching his life flash before his eyes. Louis started hitting Alex’s chest with his tied fists, trying to push him to the driver’s seat.

The tanker driver slammed on his brakes, causing the trailer to jackknife and the tires started to skid sideways on the road. It slowed his movements only slightly, the chance of a huge collision very likely.

“Alex! Get us out of here now!” Louis screamed. Alex tried to open the back door, but the child lock kept it from opening. Alex jumped into the front seat and pulled Louis with him. A car coming up behind them pulled to the side of the road, getting out to try to help.

“Hey!” The stranger yelled, waving his hands in the air. “Hey, get out of the way!”

Alex managed to open the door and jumped out. He turned to pull Louis out, but it was too late. The truck made its collision.

~*~

Hours went by and no one had any luck finding Louis. The boys were tense with worry, pacing back and forth. Harry found Louis’ phone a short while after they realized Louis was gone. He went through it to see if there was any clue as to where he could have gone. There wasn’t.

Nobody said anything to anyone. In their hearts, they knew who had done this. They knew the man had gotten to Louis and there was nothing they could do to help. Harry eventually retired to the compartment he and Louis shared on the bus to try and get some rest. Truthfully, he didn’t want the others to see him break down.

“Liam, turn the TV on or something,” Zayn said, snuffing out his sixth cigarette in the last hour. “Just noise, please. It’s too quiet.”

He clenched his fists to will them to stop shaking, but it was no use. He grabbed his cigarette pack and started to smoke another one. Liam grabbed the TV remote and turned it on, the news channel sharing a breaking news story.

“Here I am,” the reporter said, looking into the camera. “On Route 175, where a major collision has happened. As you can see behind me, the car burst into flames on impact. A witness who tried to help came forward and said there were two victims in the car and one individual in the truck, all male. The witness said he saw one of the passengers of the car get out and try to help the other out when the truck collided with the car.”

The boys snapped their heads up to the screen, watching closely. Route 175 was the main road leading to the airport. Liam turned the volume up continuing to listen to the reporter.

“The driver of the truck is in intensive care with critical injuries. Once the fire was extinguished, crime scene workers searched the burnt remnants of the car to see if there was anything to be able to identify the passengers in the vehicle. After this commercial break, we’ll be right back with more on the story. I’m Elissa Harrington, News 5.” Elissa reported. The news switched to commercials. The boys talked amongst themselves as they waited for the news to come back on.

“People just don’t watch where they’re going,” Niall commented, opening a bag of chips. “It’s a shame that something like this has to happen.”

“We weren’t there,” Liam defended, keeping his eyes on the TV. “We don’t know the story. Maybe the car broke down and the truck couldn’t stop. Either way, two people are dead. Have some respect.”

“I’m Elissa Harrington, News 5. I’m here at the scene of a major collision that happened on Route 175 a few hours ago. As I was saying before the commercial break, we have crime scene techs searching the car for anything that could help us identify who the two passengers were. One of the workers found a leather wallet and we were able to make a name out on the driver’s license.”

The boys leaned closer to the TV, listening intently to the news reporter.

“The name on the license is Alex Pettyfer. Alex Pettyfer had just been released from prison for the attempted murder of One Direction member Louis Tomlinson.” Elissa explained. Firemen and police officers worked quickly behind her to clean up the scene.

“Oh, God… Please don’t say it,” Liam begged, staring at the screen. Elissa continued talking about Alex, unknowingly filling the other One Direction members with tension and dread.

“I can only speculate at this time, but it seems either Alex or the other passenger suffered injuries before the accident. Traces of blood were found on the back seat as well as a tooth. Police have sent the tooth off for identification. No word yet on when we will receive confirmation. We will continue to update you as the story unfolds.”

The news ended and a popular sitcom came on. Zayn stared at the screen, his heart pounding in his chest. He crumbled his pack of cigarettes, his breath coming out in short puffs.

“Oh, my God…” Liam breathed, running a hand through his hair. His eyes filled with tears as he paced back and forth. “This can’t be a coincidence. He couldn’t have been that damn close without…”

“Stop!” Niall interrupted, throwing his bag of chips on the ground. He looked at Liam, his eyes mirroring the same fear. “We don’t know for sure.”

“Niall, don’t be so naive,” Zayn retorted, standing up. “Louis is missing and there just happens to be a car crash with Alex’s wallet inside. You know what happened.”

Niall shook his head just as Paul came onto the bus. He had his phone in his hand and tears in his eyes. He looked at the boys and cleared his throat.

“I talked to Andrew,” Paul said, taking a deep breath. “He said early this morning Louis went outside to smoke a cigarette. He was scared to come forward because he fell asleep and didn’t ensure Louis returned inside.”

“Paul, there’s something we need to talk about,” Liam said, biting his lip. Paul shook his head, stopping him.

“Listen,” Paul said, taking another deep breath. “We got the security footage back. We found Louis on camera.” The boys held their breath for the news that came next.

“Louis was seen getting dragged into a car by someone wearing a hood. The man kept his face away from the cameras so we don’t have an ID,” Paul explained. He pinched the bridge of his nose, not wanting to continue. “The car was seen on camera and there was a license plate. The car was stolen late last night and I don’t know if you’ve been watching the news, but-“

“The car was involved in an accident a few hours ago,” Liam interrupted, looking up at Paul. “The car burst into flames, but they were able to find a wallet inside. They got a name off the driver’s license.”

“Yes,” Paul said, sitting on the couch. He held his head in his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Alex Pettyfer.”

The moments after went by in a blur. Everything the boys were worried about suddenly became very clear. Niall threw the remote at the TV and cracked the screen. Zayn started pacing, his hands fisting his hair. Liam fell to his knees, clutching his chest. His best friend since high school was kidnapped by his psychopath ex-boyfriend. Their car was involved in a crash, burnt beyond recognition. Traces of blood and a tooth were found. Alex’s driver’s license was found in the car.

Phones started ringing with phone calls, Twitter mentions, Facebook notifications, and more. Paul stepped away to answer his phone. A few minutes later, he stood near the boys and watched as their lives changed forever.

“Would you like me to tell Harry?” Paul asked. He started to make his way to the back of the bus when Liam stood up, stopping him.

“N-No. I’ll do it,” Liam said, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. Paul stepped back and sat with Niall and Zayn. “I need to do it.”

Liam made his way to Harry’s bedroom, stopping at the door. He took a few deep breaths, steadying himself before sliding the door open. He stepped in, seeing Harry curled in a ball in the middle of the bed. He had fallen asleep with tearstained cheeks, holding the pink his-and-her blanket Louis had gotten him. Liam sat at the edge of the bed and gently shook him awake.

“Harry, you need to wake up. I have something I need to t-tell you,” Liam said, his voice cracking. He wanted to be strong for Harry. He needed to be strong for him. But, how could he?

“Liam? What’s going on?” Harry asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Harry, there was a crash,” Liam started, wondering how he would explain what had happened. “A tanker truck collided with a car on Route 175. The car exploded when the truck collided with it. There were two people in the car.”

“Okay,” Harry said, sitting up on the bed. Worry started to fill his body. “Why did you wake me up to tell me that?”

“Harry, I need you to listen to me,” Liam demanded, gripping Harry’s hand. Tears blurred his vision. Liam put his fist in his mouth, trying to bite back the sobs. “There was a wallet found in the car and they were able to see the name on the driver’s license. There was b-blood in the car and a tooth.”

“Liam. Who was in the car?” Harry asked, panic coursing through his body. Liam looked up at Harry helplessly as he said the two names Harry never wanted to hear.

“Alex and Louis.”

~*~

A few weeks passed by as their management made the necessary arrangements. DNA confirmed the tooth and blood came from Louis. Management notified Louis’ family before making a statement to the public. The North American leg of their tour was canceled, and tickets were refunded to the patrons. The boys went to the scene of the crash to place a cross only to find multiple crosses and flowers, along with pictures of Louis and candles.

A meeting was arranged for management and the band to discuss how to deal with the loss of such a crucial member and how to go forward with the band. The boys were seated at one end of the conference table, and management was seated at the other.

“I was thinking,” Simon started, linking his fingers together. “I was thinking that we put together a memorial concert. We’ll televise it worldwide and we’ll sell tickets for fans to be present. I think this will be the best way for everyone to say goodbye.”

“Sounds fine,” Liam said, looking at Simon. “Is it going to be just us?”

“No,” Simon said, opening a folder. “There are other artists, friends, that also want to contribute. I was thinking Nick Grimshaw could host and broadcast it on BBC radio. Cher Lloyd, Ed Sheeran, and Little Mix are wanting to sing. Lottie as well.”

“Lottie?” Niall asked, referring to the oldest of Louis’ four sisters.

“She wants to sing a song for him. I said I’d let her.”

“Anyone who wants to come pay tribute is allowed,” Liam said, looking at Simon. “Louis wouldn’t want anyone to be turned away.”

“Okay, it’s settled then. We’ll announce it today and in two weeks, it’ll be held at Wembley Stadium.”

“No,” Harry spoke up, looking at Simon. Harry hardly spoke anymore and hearing his voice was a shock.

“Wembley is very large, Harry,” Simon said softly. “We’ll be able to have more guests there.”

“It has to be at the O2,” Harry demanded, tears clouding his vision. “That was Lou… That was his favorite arena. It needs to be there.” Simon watched as the other boys nodded in agreement.

“I’ll make the proper arrangements. You have two weeks to prepare yourselves,” Simon said, leaving with his associates.

~*~

The next two weeks went by quicker than the boys could have imagined. Harry refused to stay at his house because everything in it belonged to him and Louis. He chose to stay with Niall and would send the boys to get what he needed from the house. Harry kept himself locked in the room, avoiding everyone.

On the day of the memorial, everything was hectic. People were rushing around to get everything set up. The boys arrived early to help with the setup.

“Hello boys,” Nick greeted, shaking their hands. He held his BBC Radio microphone in his hand.

“Hey, Nick. Thanks for doing this,” Liam said, putting his earpieces in. They were setting up for a sound check.

“It’s not a problem. Louis and I didn’t get along too well, but I miss the guy. I’m sad to see him gone.”

A couple of hours passed by as the arena filled with heartbroken fans and friends, all coming to say goodbye. As the boys finished getting ready, Nick made his introductions and did his usual radio talk. Liam was scheduled first then Niall, followed by Zayn and other friends. Harry was scheduled to perform multiple songs throughout the memorial.

Harry was seated on a stool, holding his microphone in his hands. Someone walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Harry?”

“Hey, Cher,” Harry greeted, accepting the hug she gave him.

“It’ll all be okay, Harry. It might not seem so right now, but it will.” Cher promised, rubbing his back for added comfort.

“Thank you,” Harry said, leaning into her hand. “It means a lot that you’re here.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

~*~

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Nick greeted, looking out at the crowd. “Before I announce the first guest, I ask that you please keep your applause to a minimum. Let the songs flow through the arena. Let them reach Louis, wherever he may be. First up, Mr. Liam Payne.”

Chapter Text

Liam walked onto the stage, a solemn look on his face. He gave a tiny wave to the crowd before taking his place at the microphone stand. A crew member brought a stool to him. Liam took it gratefully and sat down.

“Louis showed me how strong he was throughout his life. There were a lot of hard times in his life and he wore a brave face through it all.” Liam shared, smiling ruefully. He gripped the microphone tight, memories flooding through him. “I only saw him cry a handful of times and even then it was only after I told him he could cry in front of me.”

Liam squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears at bay. His heart rate quickened and he tried to slow it by taking deep breaths.

“I tried so hard to show him that I was there for him. I just hope he knew,” Liam confessed, looking out at the crowd. Behind him on the video screen, photos and videos of Louis and his friends played in a montage.

“While preparing for this memorial, I wrote this song,” Liam said. A crew member walked on stage, carrying an acoustic guitar. He brought it to Liam as the rest of the band took their places. Liam started to strum the guitar, images, and memories of Louis filling his mind. “This is for him. Please feel free to sing along if you catch onto the chorus.”

This is where the chapter ends. A new one now begins. Time has come for letting go. The hardest part is when you know all of these years when we were here are ending, but I’ll always remember.

We have had the time of our lives and now the page has turned. The stories we will write. We have had the time of our lives and I will not forget the faces left behind. It’s hard to walk away from the best of days, but if it has to end, I’m glad you have been my friend in the time of our lives.

Where the water meets the land, there is shifting in the sand. Like the tide that ebbs and flows, memories will come and go. All of these years when we were here are ending, but I’ll always remember.

We have had the time of our lives and now the page has turned. The stories we will write. We have had the time of our lives and I will not forget the faces left behind. It’s hard to walk away from the best of days, but if it has to end, I’m glad you have been my friend in the time of our lives.

We say goodbye. We hold onto tight to these memories that never die. We say goodbye. We hold on tight to these memories that never die.

We have had the time of our lives and now the page is turned. The stories we will write. We have had the times of our lives and I will not forget the faces left behind. It’s hard to walk away from the best of days, but if it has to end, I’m glad you have been my friend in the time of our lives. I’m glad you have been my friend in the time of our lives…

The crowd clapped as Liam exited the stage, wiping tears as he went. Zayn put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. Niall hugged his best mate before taking his place, waiting for his introduction. Nick made quick small talk for radio purposes before announcing Niall. The Irish lad walked to the microphone stand, carrying a guitar with him. He put the guitar strap over his shoulder and looked out at the crowd.

“One of the best things I liked — No, loved about Louis is that he truly cherished every second he had.” Niall reminisced, looking at the video screen of a picture of them together. “He never took anything for granted. He loved the second chance at life he was given after everything that had happened to him. This song is for him. Louis, wherever you are, thank you for teaching me what life is really about.”

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sometimes we fall down. Can’t get back up. We’re hiding behind skin that’s too tough. How come we don’t say I love you enough ’til it’s too late? It’s not too late.

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won’t come and we can make a feast from these crumbs. We’re all staring down the barrel of a gun so if your life flashed before you, what would you wish you would’ve done?

Yeah, we gotta start looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given and if this is all we got, then we gotta start thinking that every second counts on a clock that’s ticking. We gotta live like we’re dying. We only got 86, 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or to throw it all away. We gotta tell them that we love them while we got the chance to say. We gotta live like we’re dying.

If your plane fell out of the skies, who would you call with your last goodbye? Should be so careful who we let fall out our lives and when we long for absolution, there will be no one on the line.

Yeah, we gotta start looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given. If this is all we got, then we gotta start thinking. If every second counts on a clock that’s ticking, gotta live like we’re dying. We only got 86, 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it all away. We gotta tell them that we love them while we got the chance to say. Gotta live like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying. Oh, like we’re dying. Like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying.

We only got 86, 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it all away. We gotta tell them that we love them while we got the chance to say. Gotta live like we’re dying.

You never know a good thing ‘til it’s gone. You never see a crash ‘til it’s head-on. Why do we think we’re right when we’re dead wrong? You never know a good thing ‘til it’s gone.

Yeah, we gotta start looking at the hands of the time we’ve been given. This is all we got. Then we gotta start thinking every second counts on a clock that’s ticking, gotta live like we’re dying. We only got 86, 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it all away. We gotta tell them that we love them while we got the chance to say. Gotta live like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying. Oh, like we’re dying.

Like we’re dying, oh, like we’re dying. We only got 86, 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it all away. We gotta tell them that we love them while we got the chance to say. Gotta live like we’re dying.

“Do you think Harry will be okay?” Perrie asked, standing with Zayn by the sound booth. Zayn tucked an arm around his girlfriend, keeping her close. He kissed her head and nodded.

“It’ll take some time, but yes. I think he’ll be okay,” Zayn said. He looked over to where Harry was sitting. Harry had his eyes closed and his hands together as if he were praying. Tears were visible on his cheeks, and he took slow, deep breaths. “And if he isn’t, that’s okay. He’s got us.”

“It’s just,” Perrie started, looking in Harry’s direction. She bit her lip, trying to find the right words. “I’ve never seen anyone love someone more than Harry loves Louis. His whole life is Louis. Now he’s gone. How can you live without your life?”

Zayn pulled her even closer, holding her tight. He didn’t say a word, simply because he couldn’t. He didn’t know what to say.

“Zayn?” Liam asked, walking up to them.

“Yeah, mate,” Zayn said, pulling away from Perrie. Wiping his eyes of unshed tears, he looked at his close friend.

“They’re getting ready to announce you. Did you still want me to help you?”

“Yes, please,” Zayn said, putting his earpiece in. “You’ll play the piano, right?”

Liam nodded, taking a deep breath. Once they heard Zayn’s name being called, they made their way to the stage together. Liam took his place at the piano while Zayn sat on a stool in center stage. He sat patiently, waiting for instruction.

“I didn’t know Louis for as long as the others,” Zayn started, looking out at the crowd. “But it’s not about the length of time you know someone. It’s about how much you learn and care for someone in the time you’re given with that person. I loved Louis like my brother. I watched him build himself up from practically nothing to being my hero.”

“It’s my fault he’s gone,” Zayn said, choking back a sob. He looked down at the stage, shame coursing through his body. “Alex sent a letter to me in Stockholm. He told me that he’d stop at nothing until he got to Louis. He threatened Perrie if I stood in the way, but I still showed Louis the letter. Maybe he wouldn’t have become so paranoid if I hadn’t shown him. Maybe if I had just talked to management myself and kept quiet, he would have been safe.”

“I’m so sorry, Louis,” Zayn cried, looking up toward the sky. Tears started falling and Zayn tried to regain his composure. He took a few deep breaths and finally faced the crowd.

“I wrote this song for Louis a while ago. I wrote it to show him how proud I was of how far he came. I wanted to tell him he was going to be okay, but I never got the chance. I wanted it to be on our next album, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen.” Zayn shared, sitting up straighter on his stool. He gripped his microphone stand and looked at Liam. Liam nodded and began to play. “I think he’d like it if you heard it. I’ve asked Liam to help me with it.”

Shattered like you’ve never been before. The life you knew in a thousand pieces on the floor. And words fall short in times like these when this world drives you to your knees. You think you’re never gonna get back to the you that used to be.

Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again.

Beginning, just let that word wash over you. It’s all right now. Love’s healing hands have pulled you through. So get back up, take step one. Leave the darkness, feel the sun. ‘Cause your story’s far from over and your journey’s just begun.

Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again.

Let every heartbreak and every scar be a picture that reminds you who has carried you this far. ‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could. In this moment, heaven’s working everything for your good.

Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again. Your heart to beat again, beat again. Oh, so tell your heart to beat again.

After Zayn’s performance, the boys took a short break. Nick brought Louis’ family out to speak a few words while Harry prepared to make his debut. Since the fateful accident, Harry hadn’t been seen by anyone. He stayed away from social media and hardly answered his phone. To say everyone was anxious about his presence was an understatement. No one knew what to expect from him during the memorial. They were waiting, waiting with bated breath.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles,” Nick announced. The crowd practically held their breath as they watched the widowed man take the stage. Niall followed behind, carrying a guitar. They sat side by side, Niall putting the guitar strap over his shoulder. He placed a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry nodded and closed his eyes as Niall began to play.

Sometimes the road just ends. It changes everything you’ve been. And all that’s left to be is empty, broken, lonely, hoping. I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to find a way to carry on.

I don’t wanna feel better. I don’t wanna not remember. I will always see your face in the shadows of this haunted place. I will laugh, I will cry. Shake my fist at the sky, but I will not say goodbye.

They keep saying time will heal, but the pain just gets more real. The sun comes up each day. Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying. If I can keep on holding on maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you’re gone.

I don’t wanna feel better. I don’t wanna not remember. I will always see your face in the shadows of this haunted place. I will laugh, I will cry. Shake my fist at the sky, but I will not say goodbye.

I will curse. I will pray. I’ll relive it every day. I will shoulder the blame. I’ll shout out your name. I will laugh, I will cry. Shake my fist at the sky, but I will not say… Will not say goodbye. Will not say goodbye. Will not say, oh…

~*~

The man watched the television screen as countless people paid tribute to the worthless celebrity. Scoffing, he turned away from the screen as his eyes fell upon someone. He smirked, watching the tears fall hard and fast down his tanned cheeks. He advanced on him and gripped his hair, snapping his head back. The boy gasped, a choked cry leaving his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will the tears to cease.

“Do you like what you see?” The man questioned, pulling the boy’s hair harder.

“What the f-fuck do you think?” The boy rasped, grunting as he received a backhand to the face. The boy struggled against the ropes that held him captive. He could feel the rope rubbing against his skin.

“How dare you take that tone with me?” The man asked, spitting in the captive’s face. “Like you’re better than me.”

“I am better than you,” The boy challenged, looking his captor straight in the eyes. He sat up straighter, willing himself not to be afraid. “Does it make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel like the big man, slapping me around?”

“Oh, but I do,” he said, an evil smile spreading across his face. His condescending tone made the boy want to puke. “It makes me feel powerful. It’s quite a pleasant feeling. Thank you for asking. Now, let’s get down to business, shall we?”

The man walked behind the boy and bent down, beginning to untie his hands. As soon as the boy’s hands were free, he clenched his fists and pummeled them straight into the man’s groin. The man kneeled over, groaning in pain. The captive quickly stood from his chair. He picked it up and slammed it down on top of the man, breaking it into pieces. The man screamed in anger, grappling for the boy.

The boy tried to make a run for the door of the dilapidated shack he was hidden in. The man grabbed him by the ankles and yanked him back. The boy shrieked, falling to the floor.

“Let me go!” The boy shouted, trying to kick his feet free. The man grabbed him by the throat, pulling him to his knees. The boy struggled to get free but to no avail. The man grabbed a fistful of the boy’s hair and slammed his head onto the hard floor, splitting his forehead open.

The boy howled in pain, seeing stars as he felt the blood run down his face. The boy barely registered his pants being pulled down, feeling the breeze blow over his naked bum. The boy opened his eyes, locking them on the television set as Harry Styles took the stage again.

“Harry,” the boy whimpered, digging his nails into the unfurnished wood of the floor. The man thrust into him at that moment, sending searing pain through the boy and up his spine. Biting back a scream, the boy kept his eyes on the screen as the man continued his assault. Blood was filling his eyes from his head wound, but he kept them open to watch Harry sing.

Now you are standing there right in front of me. I hold on, it’s getting harder to breathe. All of a sudden these lights are blinding. I never noticed how bright they would be.

I saw in the corner, there is a photograph. No doubt in my mind, it’s a picture of you. It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass. This bed was never made for two. I’ll keep my eyes wide open. I’ll keep my arms wide open.

Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go ‘cause I’m tired of feeling alone. Don’t let me, don’t let me go ‘cause I’m tired of feeling alone.

I promised one day that I’d bring you back a star. I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand, oh. Seems like these days I watch you from afar just trying to make you understand. I’ll keep my eyes wide open, yeah.

Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go ‘cause I’m tired of feeling alone. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go!

The boy started to get lightheaded from the loss of blood, but he was determined to stay awake. His knees were getting filled with splinters as the man pushed him further into the wood as he raped him. The boy let out a scream, punching the floor as he got a surge of strength as Harry’s voice filled his ears once again.

Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go ‘cause I’m tired of feeling alone. Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go ‘cause I’m tired of feeling alone. Don’t let me, don’t let me go ‘cause I’m tired of sleeping alone.

The boy tightened up as much as he could to try to slow the man down. He took a deep breath and pushed himself up from the floor. He threw his head back, slamming it into the man’s nose. After hearing a satisfying couch, he managed to pull away from the man. He stood on wobbly legs, adjusting his pants. He could feel blood dripping down his leg, staining his pants. But, he couldn’t think about that. He wouldn’t.

He chanced taking a look at the man behind him. He was bent over, blood spilling from his nose. Filled with rage, the boy grabbed his offender by the hair and brought his knee to the man’s face. He watched as the man spit out blood and teeth. He took his chance and ran for the door. He wrenched it open, the cold night air filling his lungs.

“Louis!” Alex screamed, scrambling to his feet. “Get back here!”

Louis started to run, not daring to look back. He heard Alex’s heaving breathing and loud stomps behind him. The chase fueled Louis to run faster through the wooded area. Years of football practice gave him the ability to weave through the trees, almost as if they were opponents and he was rushing toward a goal.

Unfortunately, Alex caught up to him. He grabbed Louis by the shirt and pulled him back into the trees. Louis fell into the dirt with a grunt, Alex looming over him.

“I should have let you burn in the car. It would have been easier than this,” Alex said, grabbing Louis by the shirt again. Louis was yanked to his feet and slammed against a tree trunk. He gasped as the wind was knocked out of him. “What are you going to do now, Louis? I’ve caught you. You have nowhere to run. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Go to hell,” Louis said, throwing a punch into Alex’s stomach. Grabbing Alex by the shoulders to keep himself steady, Louis brought his knee up and successfully kneed Alex in the groin. Louis pushed Alex as hard as he could away from him, making him fall to the ground. Alex still had a hold of Louis’ shirt and brought Louis down with him. Louis scrambled and slipped out of his shirt as he made another break for freedom. The only question that remained was would Louis be free from Alex at last?

Chapter Text

Harry walked off the stage after his performance, breathing heavily. He gripped his chest through his shirt, leaning forward. He squeezed his eyes shut, and his breathing turned into wheezing.

“Harry?” Liam asked, rushing to his friend’s aid.

“Oh, my God,” Harry wheezed, gripping Liam’s arm.

“Harry, what’s wrong? What hurts?” Liam questioned, holding onto him to keep him from falling over.

“L-Liam… Oh, my God…” Harry said, trying to force the words out.

“Harry, what’s going on? You’re scaring me,” Liam told him, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“He’s alive,” Harry breathed, staring at Liam with wide crazed eyes. Liam took a breath, trying to grasp reality.

“W-What?”

“He’s alive, Liam,” Harry said, standing straighter. He gripped Liam by the shoulders and looked straight into his eyes. “I can feel it. He’s alive.”

“Harry,” Liam said, looking at him with sad eyes. “Mate, they found his DNA. If he was alive, we’d have found him by now.”

“Not if Alex is keeping him quiet,” Harry said, shaking his head. He ran a hand through his curls to get his thoughts straight. “Liam, I know I sound crazy. But, I’m serious. I think he’s alive. When I was singing, I felt it. Liam, I know that Louis is alive.”

“Okay,” Liam said, nodding his head. He took a deep breath and hugged Harry tight. “If that’s what you believe, then I support you. Maybe you and I could go back to the crash sight and look for any clues that can tell us whether or not he’s still alive.

~*~

“Let’s welcome Perrie Edwards from Little Mix to the stage,” Nick announced. The crowd clapped as Perrie walked to the piano, giving a wave. She took a deep breath and started playing.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house. That don’t bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out. I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days every now and again I pretend I’m okay, but that’s not what gets me.

What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. Never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do.

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but I’m doing it. It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone. Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret. But I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.

What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. Never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do. Oh! Yeah…

Having so much to say and watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do. What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do, is what I was trying to do.

~*~

Louis leaned against a tree, trying to catch his breath. The cold was getting to him, drying the blood on his dirty body. He looked around him, straining to see in the night. He listened intently for any sticks breaking or Alex’s voice. He put a hand to his chest, thinking of Harry.

“I’m coming, baby,” Louis whispered, setting off into the darkness again. The only guide he had was the moonlight, shining an eerie glow through the trees.

His body ached as he walked, begging him to just lie down and rest. He ignored his body’s protests and kept pushing through the trees, searching for a clearing in the woods. He pushed through his dizziness and his hunger. He pushed through the pain, desperate to get to safety.

~*~

“Okay, everyone,” Nick said, looking out at the crowd. “There’s a very special guest who would like to pay tribute to Louis. I want everyone to welcome Charlotte Tomlinson.”

“Thank you,” Lottie greeted, sitting on a stool. Niall walked out to join her, carrying a guitar. He sat next to her, offering an encouraging smile. “Thank you for letting me sing my song for my brother today. I know he can hear us, wherever he is. Louis, I love you and I’m glad you got to experience life the way you wanted to. You’re my hero.”

If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song. Oh, oh. Oh, oh.

Lord, make me a rainbow. I’ll shine down on my mother. She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors. Oh, well, life ain’t always what you think it ought to be. No, ain’t even gray, but she buries her baby. The sharp knife of a short life. Well, I’ve had just enough time.

If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song. The sharp knife of a short life. Well, I’ve had just enough time.

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom. I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger. I’ve never known the loving of a man, but it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand. There’s a boy here in town, says he’ll love me forever. Who would have thought forever could be severed by the sharp knife of a short life? Well, I’ve had just enough time.

So put on your best, boys, and I’ll wear my pearls. What I never did is done. A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell them for a dollar. They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner and maybe then you’ll hear the words I’ve been singing. Funny when you’re dead how people start listening…

Oh, if I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song. Oh, oh.

The ballad of a dove. Go with peace and love. Gather up your tears, keep them in your pocket. Save them for a time when you’re really gonna need them, oh. The sharp knife of a short life. Well, I’ve had just enough time. So put on your best, boys, and I’ll wear my pearls.

~*~

Finally seeing a break in the trees, Louis picked up the pace and started sprinting toward the edge. Tripping on a fallen branch, Louis tumbled to the ground and broke through the trees. Groaning in pain, Louis pushed himself to his knees and looked around the open area. Up ahead he could a road that was lit up with candles and dozens of crosses were littering the shoulder. When he realized where he was, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“The crash site…”

~*~

“Cher Lloyd, everybody!” Nick shouted, gesturing toward the side of the stage Cher entered from.

“I met Louis and the boys when I was on the X Factor,” Cher shared, sitting on a stool. She smiled softly, remembering. “Louis was always so loud, so obnoxious. But, you could never be mad at him. I found it impossible to be angry with him for anything. That’s when I knew he was special.”

“He opened up to me one night,” Cher continued, looking at the mirage of pictures on the video screen. “He told me his story, and I cried. I kept asking myself how did this sweet, innocent boy endure that much pain for so long. What did he do to deserve that? The answer was easy. He didn’t deserve it. He sure as hell didn’t deserve to die. The day after he confided in me, I performed this song. I’d like to sing it for you again.”

As the music started to play, Cher took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and started to sing.

If this world is wearing thin and you’re thinking of escape, I’ll go anywhere with you. Just wrap me up in chains. But if you try to go out alone, don’t think I’ll understand.

Stay with me. Stay with me. In the silence of your room. In the darkness of your dreams. You must only think of me, there can be no in-between. When your pride is on the floor, I’ll make you beg for more.

Stay with me. Stay with me. You better hope and pray that you make it safe back to your own world. You better hope and pray that you wake one day in your own world.

‘Cause when you sleep at night, you don’t hear your cries in your own world. Only time will tell if you can break the spell back in your own world.

Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me, stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me, stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me, stay with me.

~*~

Not finding the strength to walk, Louis started crawling to the crash site that had been turned into a memorial. A memorial for him because the world thought he was dead. Tears started flowing down his cheeks, mixing with the dried blood. He dug his fingers into the grass, sobbing loudly. Time went by as he sat there and cried. Once the sobs subsided, he rested his head on the cool, wet grass.

“Get up, Louis,” Louis said to himself, balling his hands into fists. He took in a deep breath and forced himself to his feet. He would make it back to Harry, even if it killed him.

~*~

“Ed Sheeran, everyone,” Nick announced. Ed walked to the stage and waved to the crowd. He adjusted his guitar and began to play.

Hit like a train, ran out of words. I got nothing to say. Everything hurts and I know love leads to pain, but memories serve our sweetest refrain.

The waves came tumbling down as you float away, I’m reaching for you. Tell me how, how my life goes on with you gone. I suppose I’ll sink like a stone. If you leave me now, oh, the storms will roll. Easy come, hard go then life goes on.

Louis slowly made his way to the edge of the road, the crosses and flowers getting bigger. Finally, at the edge, Louis fell to his knees and let out a tiny sob. He just wanted to sleep, but he needed to make it to Harry.

I miss the flames, the heated reserve. Oh, I’d remember the way that you put me first. What a heart-wrenching shame that you’ll never know just like tears in the rain. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

A constant grey in the clouds. When I hear your name, I think of love. So tell me how, how my life goes on with you gone. I suppose I’ll sink like a stone. If you leave me now, oh, the storms will roll. Easy come, hard go then life goes on. Yeah, life goes on.

I watched the sun setting down. I am so afraid. I need you now to tell me how, how my life goes on with you gone. I suppose I’ll sink like a stone. If you leave me now, oh, the storms will roll. Easy come, hard go then life goes on. Easy come, hard go then life goes on.

~*~

Louis wiped his tears and pushed himself to his feet once more. Deciding it would be the last time he fell to his knees, he took a deep breath and crossed the road to search for help.

As he traveled, Louis thought about Harry and the boys. The memories served as the strength he needed to keep going. With every step he took, pain shot up his spine and throughout his body, but he never wavered. He would endure all the pain in the world just to get back to Harry.

~*~

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back Harry Styles,” Nick said, turning to watch Harry take the stage. Crew members brought out a grand piano and placed it at center stage. Harry ran his fingers lightly across the keys before sitting down.

“Back before Louis and I were together,” Harry started, taking a deep breath. He played a few chords, testing the sound. “Louis had a piano that he used to play when Alex was at work because he wasn’t allowed to play it when he was home. It was the first piano he had ever bought. He paid for it himself with what he made when he worked during school.”

The boys made their way to the side of the stage, listening to Harry. Liam was watching Harry intently and when his eyes fell upon the piano, he let out a soft gasp. The boys turned to him, wondering what was wrong.

“It can’t be,” Liam whispered, recognizing the instrument.

“What can’t be? Liam, what’s going on?” Niall asked, confused.

“Shh. Just listen,” Liam ordered, a small smile on his face.

“About a week after Louis and I met,” Harry continued, running his hand over the polished wood. “Louis didn’t show up to work one day. He wasn’t answering any of our calls or texts. That’s when we knew something was wrong. So we went to his house to check on him.”

“He was sitting on the basement stairs,” Harry said, closing his eyes as the memory came flooding back. “There was a gash in his back where he had been thrown into something hard. We soon found out that it was his piano. Alex had taken a bat to the piano and destroyed it. That ended up giving Louis the strength to leave.”

Harry cleared his throat and straightened up. It had been a while since he talked this much and the lump in his throat kept growing as he shared his story. He swallowed a couple of times to try to get it to go away.

“I never got to tell Louis,” Harry confessed, taking a deep breath. He looked at the piano and saw the engraving. He reached up and ran his fingers across the words he once spoke to Louis. “I had his piano fixed. It was meant to be a surprise, but now he’ll never know. I had something engraved into the wood that Louis could look at whenever he was feeling sad. It says ‘I’ll always be here to fix you.’”

Tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to regain his composure. The boys watched him, trying to keep their tears at bay. Harry looked up at the video screen at a picture of the two of them. It was a happy picture. Harry smiled softly, remembering.

“I have a few songs I’ve written over the years and I’d like to play them for you tonight. I wanted Louis to play the piano first, but I don’t think he’d mind if I played it for you. Louis, I love you so much and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to fix you this time. I hope you can hear me.” Harry wished, blowing a kiss to the sky. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and began to play.

It’s been a long day without you, my friend, and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. We’ve come a long way from where we began. Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. When I see you again…

Why’d you have to leave so soon, yeah? Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to leave me when I needed you the most? ‘Cause I don’t really know how to tell you without feeling much worse. I know you’re in a better place, but it’s always gonna hurt. Carry on. Give me all the strength I need to carry on.

It’s been a long day without you, my friend, and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. We’ve come a long way from where we began. Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. When I see you again.

Louis trudged his way through London, unseen by anyone. He didn’t want to be found, though. He didn’t want to be found by anyone other than Harry. He forced a hand through his bloody, tangled mess of hair as he made his way through another dark alley. As he leaned against the wall to take a breath, he heard a shout.

He stood straight and looked around him, praying it wasn’t Alex. He sighed and rubbed his face, realizing he had imagined it. He hoped he was far enough away for Alex to catch him now, but he still worried. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Louis marched on.

How do I breathe without you? I’m feeling so cold. I’ll be waiting right here for you ’til the day you’re home. Carry on. Give me all the strength to carry on.

So let the light guide your way, yeah. Hold every memory as you go and every road you take will always lead you home, home. It’s been a long day without you, my friend, and I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. We’ve come a long way from where we began. Oh, I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again. When I see you again. When I see you again, see you again. When I see you again…

The boys walked onto the stage to join Harry. They gathered around him to support him as he went into the next song. Niall picked up a guitar and joined him.

“I wrote this song after Louis and I got together,” Harry shared, clearing his throat. “I was going to play it for him when I proposed to him. But, I never got the chance. Louis, there are so many things I wish I could have told you. But, I’m going to tell you now.”

The day that I met you, the world had just spit me out. On my way to the bottom, sure I’d never be found. Then you saw me for me, made me believe in myself. On the day that I met you, it all turned around.

You said ‘Close your eyes, don’t look down.’ Fall into me and I’ll catch you, darling. We’ll dance in the street like nobody’s watching. It’s just you and me and the song on repeat in my head, playing over and over. I’m drunk on your voice and high on the moment. I’d fall for you twice if that’s what you wanted. I’d give you my life from now ’til forever. I’m falling in love with you over and over again.

Until I had met you, there was no sun in my sky. No mirrors for monsters and no love in sight. Then you walked down those stairs and I knew my heart wasn’t mine. On the day that I met you, my whole world came alive.

While Harry was playing, Louis was navigating his way through the streets of London. He found his way to another alley and fell against the wall to catch his breath. Hearing voices, he hid in the darkness to avoid being seen. He closed his eyes until he realized the voice he was hearing was Harry. He quickly exited the alley and it was as if fate knew what he needed. Letting a smile grace his face for the first time in weeks, he stared up at the O2 Arena. As Harry’s voice surrounded him, he pushed himself off the wall and raced to where he knew his lover would be.

I’m falling in love with you. I’m falling in love with you. I’m falling in love with you over and over. I’m falling in love with you over and over. Fall into me and I’ll catch you, darling. Let’s dance in the streets like nobody’s watching. It’s just you and me and the song on repeat in my head, playing over and over. I’m drunk on your voice, high on the moment. I’d fall for you twice if that’s what you wanted. I’d give you my life from now ’til forever. I’m falling in love with you over and over again.

Fall into me and I’ll catch you, darling. Let’s dance in the streets like nobody’s watching. It’s just you and me and the song on repeat in our heads…

Harry stood up and ran a hand through his curls. He pressed his hand onto his chest and took a ragged breath. It was as if he could feel him.

“Louis, come back to me,” Harry whispered, his shoulders shaking as he started to cry. Liam walked to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I can feel him,” Harry confessed, taking a deep breath. He looked at Liam and forced a smile. “Let me just sing this last song and go. I want to sleep in the house tonight. I want to feel him again.”

“Okay. Good for you,” Liam said, nodding his head. He kissed Harry on the head and smiled. Harry sat back down at the piano and began speaking.

“When we were arranging the memorial, we wanted it to be available to everyone. Outside in the parking lot, we have video screens for people who couldn’t get in. I wanted our voices to carry to wherever my Louis is right now. I hope he can hear us.”

As Harry started to play, Louis made his way to the back of the arena where the tour buses were kept. He walked to the fence and leaned against it, thankful for the dark that kept him hidden. His body slumped heavily against the fence, the adrenaline slowly leaving his body. Feeling unconsciousness creeping in, Harry’s voice filled his ears.

I’m so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears and if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave ‘cause your presence still lingers here and it won’t leave me alone.

These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase. When you cried, I’d wipe away all of your tears. When you’d scream, I’d fight away all of your fears and I held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me.

Louis gripped the fence and began to climb, using every ounce of strength he had. He didn’t care about the barbed wire at the top, he would find a way over it. Thankfully, nobody saw him moving, getting closer to his love.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light. Now I’m bound by the life you left behind. Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me.

Louis was about halfway up the fence when he slipped and fell back to the ground. Groaning in pain, Louis clutched his stomach. He took a few deep breaths and willed himself to start climbing again. He wasn’t going to fail this time.

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone. But though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along…

As Louis reached the top of the fence, his pants got caught in the wire. He pulled his leg hard and lost balance, falling to the ground, ripping his pants in the process. Gasping as he felt the air knocked out of him, he rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself back to his knees. He was so close. There was no way he could stop now. He hung his head and closed his eyes, taking slow breaths. Seconds turned to minutes as Louis started fading into unconsciousness.

~*~

“You boys did a great thing tonight. Louis would have been proud,” Paul said, his voice carrying through the night. Hearing his voice, Louis forced his eyes open and saw Paul and the boys standing by one of the buses.

“I feel better. I feel like I’ve properly said goodbye,” Zayn said, holding Perrie’s hand in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He took a drag, letting the smoke bleed into the night air. Paul walked onto the bus, letting the boys have a moment to themselves.

“What’s gonna happen now?” Niall asked, leaning against the front of the bus. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and rested his head on Liam’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Liam said, looking up at the starry sky. “But, we’ll figure it out. Simon can’t rush us with this.”

“Is the bus ready yet?” Harry asked, walking up. He looked around him, sighing. He felt a weight on his chest and he rubbed it, trying to get it to subside.

“Paul is checking now,” Liam answered. He looked at Harry with worried eyes. “Are you sure you want to sleep at the house tonight? You know you can always stay with us.”

“Yeah. I can handle it now,” Harry promised, looking off into the distance. Movement caught his peripheral vision and his head snapped to where it was. Louis stood on shaky legs, staring at Harry.

“Is that…?” Harry started, his question fading as he stared hard at the figure in the night. Louis took a step forward, the moonlight casting light over him. Harry’s gasp was loud and carried through the night.

“L-Louis?” Harry stammered, taking a few steps forward. Louis’ shoulders slumped, hearing Harry’s voice directed to him. Relief started flooding through him. He made it.

“Harry…”

Chapter Text

“Louis… Louis!” Harry screamed, running for Louis. Louis raised his arms just as Harry reached him, wrapping them around his neck. Louis simply buried his face in Harry’s neck and breathed. He took in the familiar scent of home, Harry, and most importantly: love. Harry wrapped his arms around his waist and picked him up, spinning him around. The boys’ shouts and hollers could be heard, but only faintly.

Gently setting Louis back down, Harry pulled back but only just. Harry looked at him, taking in his appearance.

“Baby, we need to get you to a hospital…” Harry said, brushing his fingers across his forehead. Louis didn’t care about anything else, just Harry. His legs gave out as he collapsed in Harry’s arms. Harry gently scooped him into his arms and carried him back to the tour bus.

“How did this…?” Zayn asked, trailing off as he stared at Louis.

“I don’t know, but he’s been badly hurt. We need to get him to the hospital.” Harry said, carrying Louis onto the bus.

“Harry, the bus is just about… Oh, my God.” Paul said, eyes widening as he caught sight of the boy in Harry’s arms.

“Drive us to the hospital. Now. He needs to be examined. Please, Paul.” Harry pleaded, holding Louis tighter. Paul nodded and ushered the boys onto the bus. Harry sat on one of the couches, cradling Louis in his lap. He pushed the hair out of Louis’ eyes, inspecting him. He was so pale.

“Baby, can you hear me?” Harry asked, tilting Louis’ chin up. Louis blinked a few times before slowly opening his eyes, focusing on Harry. Louis lifted a frail hand and placed it on his cheek.

“You found me…” Louis whispered, closing his eyes again. His hand dropped from Harry’s face, going limp in his lap.

“No, Louis. I need you to stay awake. I need you to keep talking to me.” Harry ordered, lightly shaking him. Louis let out a groan, his head falling back. There were bruises on his neck.

“Hurts.” Louis responded, keeping his eyes closed. Liam walked up, holding a washrag in his hand.

“Here, maybe this will help. I wetted it with cold water.” Liam said, handing the rag over to Harry. Harry set it aside, shaking his head.

“I can’t wipe anything off. The hospital needs to see him like this.” Harry explained, holding Louis close. He closed his eyes, sending silent prayers and thanks for his lover’s return.

“H-Harry.” Louis whispered, letting his head roll onto Harry’s shoulder.

“We’re almost there, baby. We’re going to get you some help.” Harry promised, kissing his head. They arrived at the hospital a few short moments later. Harry carried Louis in, the boys and Paul trailing behind him. He walked straight to the desk, and stared at the receptionist.

“He needs to be helped, and this stays confidential. If word gets out that he’s alive before he’s healed, I’ll sue.” Harry threatened. The receptionist nodded her head and quickly began filling out the necessary paperwork. She stood up and brought a wheelchair over.

“Here, just put him here and we’ll wheel him back.”

“There’s no way he’s leaving my arms. I’ll follow you.” Harry said. The receptionist nodded her head and set off toward a room, Harry and the rest following quickly behind her.

~*~

Harry remained in the room while Louis was examined. The boys and Paul stayed in a waiting room right across from where Louis was located. Liam paced and paced, his fingernails chewed to nothing. Zayn was texting Perrie, biting the skin off his lip all the while.

“Hey, guys,” Harry said, walking out of the room. Everyone rushed to Harry, concerned.

“How is he? Is he okay?” Liam questioned, biting his lip hard.

“Yes. He’s sleeping right now, and he probably will be for a while. He’s exhausted. But, the examination showed that he had been raped quite a few times. They got some DNA from a few of the wounds, and they’re running it now. Other than that, and a few bumps and bruises, he’s mostly dehydrated and exhausted. They’ve got him set up with a few IV’s and a pain drip.”

“What about the wound on his head? Did they say he was concussed or anything?”

“He’s not concussed, but he did have to get a few stitches. There was the one on his forehead, and one on the back of his head. They’ve got him all wrapped up.” Harry said, walking over to one of the chairs. He sank down into it, letting his head fall back against the wall.

“Before he fell asleep, he told me he fought back.”

“He did?” Liam asked, sitting next to him. Harry turned his head toward him, nodding. He let a smile grace his face, finally feeling whole again.

“Yeah. My baby fought back. He fought his way back to me.”

~*~

A few days passed before Louis finally woke up. He looked around, momentarily forgetting where he was. His eyes landed on Harry, though, and it all came back to him.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asked, keeping his voice soft. He grabbed one of Louis’ small hands and kissed it, smiling at him.

“I feel a lot better, now that I’m with you. What happened? I mean, after I was taken.” Louis asked, lacing their fingers together. Harry sighed and kissed his hand again.

“Everybody went into a panic. I told our security team that I wasn’t getting on a plane until they found you. Andrew said that when we pulled into the airport, you stepped outside for a cigarette. Then, you were gone. There was a crash on the news. Liam had come in and woke me up to tell me. The news lady said there was DNA from you in the remains of the car. They just assumed you were… Gone.”

“I fought the whole time,” Louis started, laying his head back against the hospital pillows. He blinked a few times, focusing his gaze on Harry. “I watched the memorial.”

“You what?” Harry asked. Louis nodded, taking a few deep breaths.

“Yeah. The shack I was in. It had a TV, and I watched the memorial. I was watching you sing, and tears were just coming down. I was tied to a chair, right in front of the television. As I was watching you, he came around and untied my hands. When he did that, I rammed both of my fists into his balls. Then, I broke the chair over him. He fell to the ground and I tried to make to the door, but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me to the ground.” Louis explained, squeezing Harry’s hand. Louis reached a hand up and gently touched the bandage on his forehead.

“He slammed my head into the floor. That’s where this came from. For a minute, I sort of just lay there and took what he was giving me. The pain was excruciating. Then, you started singing ‘Don’t Let Me Go.’ Once he entered me, I kept my eyes on you. You were so beautiful.” Louis said, closing his eyes. He brought Harry’s hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles softly.

“Then what happened?” Harry asked, staring at Louis. Tears were built up in his eyes and he wished he could take all of Louis’ pain away. He wished he could have kept him from being kidnapped.

“During the bridge,” Louis began, opening his eyes again. He looked at Harry and wiped his tears away. “I had so many splinters in my knees from being pushed into the floor time and time again. But, that didn’t matter. During the bridge, I remember punching the floor. I tightened around him and he couldn’t move anymore. When he couldn’t move, I reared my body back, hitting him with the back of my head. I broke his nose, so that’s where the wound on the back of my head came from.”

“I’m so proud of you for fighting back, baby.” Harry gushed, beaming at him. Louis smiled slightly and continued the rest of his story as Harry sat vigilantly by his side.

~*~

A few weeks passed by and Louis healed completely. Their security was heightened once management had learned of Louis’ return. The media and fans were alerted, and a reunion concert was currently being planned. Louis was itching to be back on stage.

“Hey, Louis?” Niall asked, looking at Louis across from the recording studio. Louis looked up from a magazine, turning his attention toward the young Irishman.

“Yeah?”

“What happened to Alex?”

“Well,” Louis started, setting the magazine aside. Louis sat straighter in his seat, smoothing out his jeans. “To be honest, I don’t really know. When I escaped from him, he was somewhere in the woods near the crash site. At the time, I wasn’t really worried about what would happen to him. I was just worried about getting as far away from him as possible.”

“You don’t think he’ll try to get you again, will you?”

“Niall, the only way he could do that now, is if he got plastic surgery and completely changed the way he looks. I think I’m as safe as I’m going to get.”

“Are you scared?” Niall asked, biting his lip. Louis looked at him for a few moments, contemplating whether or not he was scared. Was he? Was he still scared of the man who tried to take his life twice?

“No, I’m not. I’ll admit I was scared of him. But, now I know that I can fight back. I have a lot to fight for as well.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s myself. But, I also have my career and you boys. I also have to fight for Harry, and as long as I’m fighting for Harry, I’ll never lose.”

~*~

Louis walked into his house, hanging his keys up by the door. He kicked his shoes off and walked into the living room.

“Hey, baby.” Louis greeted, walking over to Harry. Harry opened his arms and Louis sat on his lap as they relaxed back into the couch.

“How was recording? Did you get a lot done?” Harry asked, bringing his arms around Louis’ waist. Louis nodded and proceeded to tell him about his day. Harry listened, mostly. Harry watched Louis as he talked, smiling softly. He reached a hand up and slowly ran it through Louis’ feathered locks, smiling as Louis visibly relaxed.

“I’m so glad to be back.” Louis confessed, smiling at Harry. Harry cupped Louis’ cheeks and leaned, kissing him softly. Louis hummed in happiness, wrapping his hands around Harry’s wrists. He returned the kiss, adding more passion as the kiss accelerated.

Harry slid his hands down Louis’ arms, gripping his waist. Louis shifted to straddle his lap, sliding his hands up to tangle them in Harry’s curls. Harry slowly pulled away from the kiss and began kissing down his jawline, nipping his teeth against the skin lightly. Louis let his head fall back and a small moan slip from his lips.

They each felt their pants tighten as their erections started to build. Louis squeezed his eyes shut, tightening his grip on Harry’s curls. Harry latched onto Louis’ neck and began sucking his weak spot earnestly, bringing a hickey to the surface.

“Mm, babe,” Louis breathed. He arched back as he felt Harry’s teeth scrape against his neck and began grinding his hips over Harry’s clothed dick in slow, circular motions.

“I’ve missed you,” Harry breathed, licking over the welcomed bruise. Harry slid his hands under Louis’ thighs and stood up, holding his lover up. Louis wrapped his arms and legs around him as he felt himself being carried up the stairs to their bedroom.

Louis felt his back hit the pillowed mattress and Harry’s presence over him as he pulled at Harry’s clothing. Their clothes were removed quickly after that.

Harry slowly began kissing down Louis’ chest, flicking his tongue around his hard nipples. He reveled in the delicious noises flowing from Louis’ mouth as he made his way down his torso.

“Oh, fuck…” Louis moaned, arching his back as he felt his dick become surrounded by wet warmth. Harry gently held Louis’ hips down as he began his motions, bobbing his head slowly. Harry swirled his tongue around the head and sucked harder, taking him deeper each time.

Louis’ hands fisted the sheets as he threw his head back into the pillows, arching his back high off the mattress. His neck veins could be seen from miles away as the moans and whines escaped him. Harry picked his pace up and began bobbing his head with a faster rhythm. Louis’ moans increased in volume, keeping sync with Harry’s movements.

“H-Harry… Harry, w-wait…” Louis breathed, managing to make his voice work. Harry slowly pulled off, a line of spit dribbling down his chin. Harry looked up at him, wondering what went wrong.

“What is it, baby?” Harry asked, his voice raspy and absolutely wrecked from his previous actions. Louis outwardly moaned, relaxing back into the bed.

“I don’t want to finish too quickly. I want to make this last.” Louis said, locking eyes with him. Harry smiled and kissed up his body, lightly biting in places he knew would drive Louis crazy with lust.

“Baby, we have the rest of our lives. We’re going to make this last.” Harry promised, kissing Louis’ lips in a tender kiss. Louis smiled against his boyfriend’s mouth, running his hands along Harry’s bare back. Harry pulled away and leaned over, opening the nightstand drawer. Pulling out a bottle of lube, Harry resumed his position over Louis and smiled down at him.
“What?” Louis asked, rubbing a hand over his chest.

“Nothing. You’re just… You’re gorgeous.” Harry complimented, smiling in satisfaction at seeing the blush rise to Louis’ cheeks. No more words were needed as they continued their lovemaking. Harry kept up with his tender touches as he gently opened Louis up, making him ready for him.

Harry wasn’t small, and he knew that. The first time he had ever been with Louis, they realized just how big Harry was. From then on, Harry made sure to always take his time opening Louis up because the thought of hurting his boyfriend in a way he had already been hurt before, scared him. Harry was terrified of hurting Louis during sex.

Time went by and Louis’ moans gradually went up as Harry took his time with him. Before long, the bed began moving and the headboard began hitting the wall as Harry increased his speed. Louis held onto him and moved against him, keeping up with the rhythm that had been set. Harry kissed Louis’ sweaty skin and pulled back slightly. He gripped Louis thighs and gently pushed them back against Louis’ chest, effectively folding him in half. Harry pushed in again and hit that special spot, sending Louis into a frenzy of moans and cries.

“Again, again!” Louis cried, gripping the bedposts as Harry thrust in over and over again, hitting his prostate each and every time. Harry’s thrusts started getting erratic as he neared his pending orgasm, feeling the heat coil in his abdomen. Louis kept moaning at the highest volume his voice would allow.

“Baby!” Harry shouted, his orgasm releasing as he filled Louis up. Louis came a second later, shooting between their chests. Harry slowly and carefully unfolded Louis, pulling out of him. He collapsed beside him and reached a hand to caress Louis’ cheek. Louis turned his head and smiled at him, leaning over to kiss him.

“I love you, Harry.”

“I love you,” Harry repeated, pulling Louis into his arms. Louis molded himself into Harry’s embrace, falling back where he belonged. They shared one last kiss before letting sleep take them over, wrapped in each other’s love and embrace.

Chapter Text

“Okay, boys,” Simon greeted, letting the boys into his office. They were all smiles and laughs as they took their seats. Simon smiled as he watched them, glad to have his moneymakers back. He cleared his throat and the boys settled down.

“So, Simon,” Liam started, looking at their manager. Simon raised his eyebrow in response, wondering what was on the young man’s mind. “When are we having this reunion concert?”

“Yeah, and why is it a reunion? We never broke up,” Louis stated, looking at Simon. Harry reached over and grabbed his hand, kissing it. Simon cleared his throat and looked at Louis.

“Louis, for a while everyone thought you were dead,” Simon said, biting his lip. Louis looked down at his hands, picking at the skin around his fingernail. Harry grabbed his hand to stop him, smiling comfortingly. Louis looked up at Harry and sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Guys, I’m really sorry,” Louis apologized, looking at everyone in the room. He shook his head, taking a deep breath. “I never should have stepped off the bus alone. I just wanted a smoke. I didn’t think that would happen.”

“Louis, don’t you dare apologize,” Liam said, shaking his head in disbelief. “You have nothing to apologize for. That jackass did this, not you.”

“Speaking of,” Louis said, turning his attention to Simon. “Have the cops found him yet?”

“Not yet,” Simon said, shaking his head. Louis felt a shiver run through his body at Simon’s words. He shook it out, freeing himself from the feeling. He was done being afraid of Alex. “They’re working on it, Louis. I’ve requested daily updates and immediate calls if they find anything new.”

“That’s okay,” Louis assured, shrugging his shoulders. He was lying to himself, but he’d be damned if he spent another minute being afraid of his every move. He was going to be strong even if he had to fake it. “He can’t hide for long. I’m sure he’ll slip up. I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Let’s get back to business, shall we?”

~*~

“Hey, Lou,” Harry greeted, climbing into the back of their transport. Louis looked up from his phone and smiled at him, patting the spot next to him. Harry sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, smiling as Louis leaned into him. “Are you ready to get back on stage?”

“I’ve been ready,” Louis gushed, smiling wide. He looked up at Harry and kissed his cheek. “I can’t wait to sing with everyone again. I feel like it’s been forever.”

“Well, it’ll be great seeing you on stage again,” Harry said, kissing his temple. Louis looked out the window, watching the London scenery pass them by as they headed to the venue. “We’ve missed you. I’ve missed you.”

“Can I ask why the set list is made up of mostly me? There are hardly any songs of us together.” Louis said, pulling back to look at Harry. Harry looked at Louis and took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair.

“Well,” Harry started, shrugging his shoulders. He reached up and stroked Louis’ cheek, smiling softly. “We wanted you to make your comeback. You’ve been holed up in our studio at home so I know you’ve written some killer songs. The fans need to hear what happened from you and I know it’ll be a weight lifted to be able to tell them.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, kissing him softly. After a few comfortable minutes, the van pulled into the arena’s back parking lot. Louis looked out the window and everything came back to him as if he was still there. He took in a sharp breath and gripped Harry’s arm, digging his nails into his skin.

“Hey, baby. Louis, come back to me,” Harry said, shaking Louis a little. He put a hand to his cheek, rubbing his thumb against it. Louis took a few stuttering breaths and slowly released Harry’s arm. He blinked a few times, focusing on Harry.

“I’m sorry,” Louis apologized, looking at Harry. Harry shook his head, kissing him softly.

“It’s okay. You’re safe. Security has been heightened and there are cameras everywhere. Nobody is ever going to hurt you again,” Harry promised.

A few moments later, the van door slid open and the boyfriends were met with screaming fans along the fence lines. Louis stepped out into the sunlight and put sunglasses on, a radiant smile gracing his face. He waved to all the fans, their screams progressing in volume. Harry stepped out behind him, putting an arm around Louis’ shoulders, and waving to the fans as well.

Louis looked up at Harry and smiled more. Harry caught his eye and smiled wide, his dimples showing. Louis wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist and pulled him closer, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. Harry leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Louis’ lips, sending the fans into another crazed frenzy. Louis laughed against Harry’s lips, feeling content with being in his arms. Waving their last goodbyes, the boys were ushered into the renowned arena to get ready for their comeback. After Louis finished with his hair and changed his clothes, he snuck away to find Paul.

“Paul, can I talk to you for a minute?” Louis asked, pulling him aside. Paul looked at him, concern forming on his face.

“Of course. Is something wrong?”

“No, no. Everything’s fine. I was just wondering if you’d heard anything,” Louis said, looking up at Paul with hope in his eyes. Paul bit his lip and looked around, making sure they weren’t being overheard.

“The police said they searched the shack he had you in. There was evidence that he had been there recently, but that’s all they could tell me. They’ll catch him, Lou. I have faith,” Paul said, patting Louis’ back reassuringly. Louis nodded and thanked him, making his way back to his dressing room. Shaking Alex from his thoughts, he finished getting ready to join his family on stage.

~*~

“Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great honor and pleasure to introduce to you, One Direction!” Nick Grimshaw shouted, his voice being drowned out by the audience. The crowd was deafening as the guys made their way into the spotlight. They hadn’t even started singing and the crowd was already wild. Louis couldn’t stop from tearing up as he waved and blew kisses. They shared a group hug and a private moment before breaking into song.

They were having the time of their lives. They were singing old songs, answering Twitter questions, and simply acting like they were teenagers. Harry and Louis caught each other’s eyes on multiple occasions and shared a special smile, the smile that only the two of them knew and understood.

“I just want to thank everyone for being here tonight. It means so much to me, and the guys, that you have stood by us through the hard times,” Louis gushed, grabbing his guitar from Niall. He walked to the microphone stand, putting his mic in it.

“I didn’t think I’d ever be able to play again,” Louis shared, accepting a stool from a crew member. He sat down, putting his guitar strap over his shoulders. He looked at the crowd looking back up at him and smiled. “My… My experience has humbled me more than I could ever have thought. I was so scared, but I started thinking about everything the lads and I have achieved and I want to believe it made me invincible.”

“I’m not going to lie,” Louis continued, biting his lip. He ran a hand through his hair. “I went through so much pain and there were times that it was so unbearable that I thought I was going to die. But, I fought. I kept fighting until I was free, and it was all because of you. So, thank you.”

Louis cleared his throat and looked down at his guitar as he started to play. He looked out at the crowd and closed his eyes as he started to sing.

Feeling my way through the darkness guided by a beating heart. I can’t tell where the journey will end, but I know where to start. They tell me I’m too young to understand. They say I’m caught up in a dream. Well, life will pass me by if I don’t open up my eyes. Well, that’s fine by me.

So wake me up when it’s all over when I’m wiser and I’m older. All this time I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost.

I tried carrying the weight of the world, but I only have two hands. Hope I get the chance to travel the world, but I don’t have any plans. Wish that I could stay forever this young, not afraid to close my eyes. Life’s a game made for everyone and love is the prize.

The crowd swayed to his words, captivated by his voice. Some had tears in their eyes and others had their hands on their chests. One by one, they began to hold their phones up with their flashlight beaming bright.

Louis blew kisses to the crowd and waved as they cheered. As the crew brought his piano out, Louis got a weird feeling almost as if he was being watched. He looked out at the crowd, scanning the thousands of faces, and wondered. Somewhere beyond the realms of the high of being on stage, there was a man. There was a man and he was watching, always watching. Louis walked over to the piano and sat down, cracking his knuckles. He looked up at the camera hovering above the crowd, directed at him as he sat center stage. Louis looked into the camera, a powerful feeling taking over him.

“Alex, I know you’re watching. This is for you,” Louis said, never taking his eyes off the camera.

Like a small boat on the ocean sending big waves into motion. Like how a single word can make a heart open. I might only have one match, but I can make an explosion. And all those things I didn’t say, wrecking balls inside my brain, I will scream them loud tonight. Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song. Take back my life song. Prove I’m alright song. My power’s turned on. Starting right now, I’ll be strong. I’ll play my fight song and I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.

Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep. Everybody’s worried about me. In too deep, say I’m in too deep. And it’s been two years, I miss my home, but there’s a fire burning in my bones. Still believe, yeah I still believe.

During the song, Niall grabbed his guitar and joined Louis. The crowd began clapping to the beat, hanging onto Louis’ words. Harry watched him with awe, feeling pride course through his body as his amazing boyfriend lifted the weight off his shoulder.

Like a small boat on the ocean sending big waves into motion. Like how a single word can make a heart open. I might only have a match, but I can make an explosion…

This is my fight song, take back my life song, prove I’m alright song! My power’s turned one. Starting right now, I’ll be strong. I’ll play my fight song and I don’t really care if nobody else believes ‘cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me. Yeah, I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.

The boys took a short break and as Louis was making his way to his dressing room, Harry caught his arm. He slid his hand down his arm and linked his hand with Louis’, smiling softly.

“That was a very powerful song, Lou,” Harry complimented, kissing his cheek. Louis blushed and smiled. He turned to Harry and wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him softly.

“Thank you. I’ve been trying to finish that song for years, but I never could. It just didn’t feel right at the time,” Louis said, untangling himself from Harry. He walked over to his vanity and grabbed a bottle of water, taking a much-needed drink. Harry closed the dressing room door, clicking the lock shut. He walked up behind Louis, wrapping his arms around his waist. He looked at him through the mirror and smiled.

“Look at you,” Harry said, guiding Louis to look in the mirror. Louis’ cheeks were flushed and there was a little bit of sweat on his face from all the stage lights. “You’re radiant.”

“You think so?” Louis whispered, trying to see himself as Harry did. Harry nodded and brought his hands to the front of Louis’ pants, unbuttoning them. He kissed his neck softly, unzipping his pants slowly.

“I’m gonna show you,” Harry whispered in his ear, pressing against him. Louis closed his eyes and sighed softly, gripping the vanity. Harry nipped at his ear, receiving a moan in response. “Don’t close your eyes. You’re going to watch.”

Louis’ breath hitched as he opened his eyes, looking at their reflection. Harry wrapped a strong arm around Louis, holding him against him as he slid his pants down. With the same hand, Harry took Louis and started to slowly stroke him up and down. Louis’ eyes widened as he watched himself grow in Harry’s hand. Once he was fully erect, Harry pulled his hand away to pull his pants down. He kissed Louis’ neck and positioned himself.

“Watch,” Harry moaned in his ear, pushing himself into Louis. Louis gasped, watching his mouth fall open. He leaned forward and pressed a hand to the mirror to keep himself steady. Louis watched as Harry pulled out and thrust back in, sending fireworks throughout his body.

“Oh, my God,” Louis breathed, feeling a whole new type of arousal. He was so fascinated with watching that he couldn’t close his eyes even if he wanted to. Harry caught his eye in the mirror and smirked, thrusting harder into him.

“Like what you see?” Harry asked, gripping his shoulder with one hand and his hip with the other. He pulled out until just the tip was inside and thrust back in hard and fast, reveling in the moans falling from Louis’ mouth.

“Fuck me,” Louis moaned, eyes locking with Harry’s in the mirror. Harry ran his hand down Louis’ back and gripped his hips tight. He began thrusting in earnest, Louis moaning with each thrust.

Harry hitched Louis’ hips up and drove deeper into him, hitting that special spot. Louis groaned loudly, seeing stars as he tried to keep his eyes open. His mouth was fixed in an ‘O’ shape as he felt Harry’s long, hard dick hit his spot over and over again. Harry wrapped an arm tight around Louis’ waist, holding him against him as he fucked him hard. The minutes grew longer as Harry went faster, drilling into him. Louis felt the familiar fire coil in his stomach as he watched Harry move with ease.

“H-Harry…” Louis moaned, pressing both hands onto the mirror. Harry leaned over him and placed a large hand over his small one, looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes. He picked his pace up, hitting that delicious spot again and again. Louis slipped forward and slammed his hands down onto the vanity and moved with Harry, trying to take him as deep as he could. His gaze dropped from the mirror and turned his head to look back at Harry.

“Mm, mm,” Harry chastised, grabbing Louis’ chin and turning his head back to the mirror. He placed a hand over Louis’ throat, squeezing lightly. “Watch.”

With one hand on Louis’ throat and the other around his waist, Harry pulled Louis upright, his sweaty chest moving against Louis’ sweaty back. He squeezed Louis’ throat again, applying a little pressure as he began slamming into him. Louis’ mouth dropped open, his loud moans matching each thrust. Louis watched in amazement at how good they looked moving against each others’ sweaty bodies. As their impending orgasms grew closer with each thrust, Harry tightened his grip around Louis, trying to keep his composure. Louis reached behind him and ran a hand through Harry’s curls, pulling them lightly.

“Let go…” Louis choked out, nodding at Harry. Harry looked into his eyes for any doubt. Louis smiled at him in approval and Harry let his wall down, going as hard and fast as his body allowed. His moans got louder and longer, his stomach burning white hot with passion. Louis moved against him, tightening around him as he felt his stomach tighten up. They locked eyes in the mirror as their orgasms peaked, sending them over the edge.

~*~

Louis and Harry left the dressing room, faces flushed and grinning. They found the boys sitting backstage, looking bored. Liam looked up from his phone and rolled his eyes.

“Well, it took you long enough,” Liam said, standing up from the couch. Niall looked at the boys and laughed loudly. He walked over and patted Harry on the back.

“What’s so funny?” Louis asked, looking at Niall. Niall smiled and shook his head.

“He fucked you good. You didn’t even try to fix your hair,” Niall laughed. Louis’ hands flew to his hair, trying to pat it down. Harry chuckled and helped him fix his hair. Once that was taken care of, the guys walked on stage and waved to the crowd as their screams made their ears ring. Louis walked over to the piano and sat down, smiling at the crowd.

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your intermission as much as I did,” Louis joked, winking at Harry. The crowd screamed in response. Louis cleared his throat and looked at the crowd. “There’s a song I’d like to play for you tonight, but I think I want to play it for me as well. This is a song that I wrote just as things started to go bad with Alex. I was trying to find a way to leave him without feeling scared of retaliation. I wanted to try to salvage a relationship with him because there was a time when he was the most important person in my life. I wanted to let go.”

Louis began playing as the camera zoomed in on him. He closed his eyes and felt himself fall into the music.

From walking home and talking loads to seeing shows in evening clothes with you. From nervous touch and getting drunk to staying up and waking up with you. But now we’re sleeping at the edge, holding something we don’t need. All this delusion in our heads is gonna bring us to our knees.

So come on let it go. Just let it be. Why don’t you be you and I’ll be me? Everything that’s broke, leave it to the breeze. Why don’t you be you and I’ll be me? And I’ll be me...

Harry’s chest tightened at the words falling from Louis’ mouth, tears filling his eyes. Louis opened his eyes and looked at him, blowing him a kiss.

From throwing clothes across the floor to teeth and claws and slamming doors at you. If this is all we’re living for why are we doing it, doing it, doing it anymore? I used to recognize myself. It’s funny how reflections change. When we’re becoming something else, I think it’s time to walk away.

Louis went into the chorus again, his fingers flying over the keys. The camera hovered over the piano and as Louis started the bridge, he opened his eyes and looked into the camera.

Tryna fit your hand inside of mine when we know it just don’t belong. There’s no force on Earth can make it feel right, whoa. Tryna push this problem up the hill when it’s just too heavy to hold. Think now’s the time to let it slide.

So come on, let it go. Just let it be. Why don’t you be you and I’ll be me? Everything that’s broke, leave it to the breeze. Let the ashes fall, forget about me…

Louis went harder into the chorus, feeling all the weight lifting from his shoulders. Harry watched as newfound confidence filled Louis’ heart and soul, giving him the strength to sing to Alex and to prove to him he wasn’t weak or scared anymore.

“Hey, babe,” Louis said, walking up to Harry as the crew set up for the next song. Harry wiped the sweat from his face with his shirt, his butterfly tattoo peeking out. He smiled at Louis, eyes twinkling with love.

“Hey, you,” Harry said, kissing his cheek. Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing it softly. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed together in concern. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course,” Louis assured, smoothing the wrinkles on his forehead. He leaned in and kissed Harry softly on the nose. “Everything is perfect. There’s just something I’d like to tell you.”

“Okay,” Harry said, smiling. Louis kissed his hand and led him back to the stage, directing him to a stool. Harry sat down as Louis picked his guitar up. He sat down on the stool beside Harry, putting the guitar strap over his shoulder. He looked at Harry and took a deep breath, marveling at his beautiful boyfriend.

“I wrote you a song,” Louis said. The crowd cheered as they watched the sweet exchange. Louis adjusted the microphone stand and kept his eyes on Harry as he continued. “I started thinking about how it felt for you when you thought I was gone because I’m sure I felt the same way. As soon as I was able, this is the first song I wrote. Harry, I want you to know that no matter what happens if one of us has to leave the other, I will follow you anywhere.”

Louis began to play the guitar, holding Harry’s gaze. Harry clasped his hands together to keep them steady as he remembered that dark feeling. As Louis started to sing, he slowly began feeling it disappear.

So lately, been wondering who will be there to take my place. When I’m gone, you’ll need love to light the shadows on your face. If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all, in between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own?

If I could then I would, I’ll go wherever you will go. Way up high or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go.

And maybe I’ll find out a way to make it back someday to watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days. If a great wave shall fall, yeah, and fall upon us all then I hope there’s someone out there who can bring me back to you.

Harry watched Louis sing as his heart started pounding in his chest, filling his body with more love for his precious prince. Tears filled his eyes as Louis smiled at him and went into the bridge.

Run away with my heart. Run away with my hope. Run away with my love. I know now just quite how my life and love might still go on. In your heart, in your mind, I’ll stay with you for all of time.

If I could then I would, I’ll go wherever you will go. Way up high or down low, I’ll go wherever you will go. If I could turn back time, I’ll go wherever you will go. If I could make you mine, I’ll go wherever you will go. I’ll go wherever you will go…

As the song ended, Harry leaped out of his chair and threw his arms around Louis’, hugging him tightly. He buried his face in Louis’ neck, tears pooling in the dip in his collarbone. Louis held him tight, kissing his cheek. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place.

“I love you so much,” Harry gushed, pulling back to look at Louis. Louis smiled and reached up, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

“I love you just as much,” Louis promised, kissing him softly. The other boys joined them on stage. Liam put a hand on Louis’ shoulder, squeezing softly. He grabbed the microphone and looked at the boys.

“I think it’s time we close this night out with one last song, yeah?” Liam asked. The crowd cheered as the backup band took their places. Louis sat at the piano and Niall grabbed his guitar. Liam looked out at the crowd and smiled. “I just wanted to give a special thanks to every one of you for joining us tonight. No matter wherever we are in the world, this place and you are home. So thank you.”

The crowd cheered and screamed as Louis began playing, Niall joining in shortly after.

Been a lot of places, I’ve been all around the world. Seen a lot of faces, never knowing where I was. On the horizon, hmm, well I know, I know, I know, I know the sun will be rising back home.

Living out of cases, packing up, and taking off. Made a lot of changes, but not forgetting who I was. On the horizon, ooh well I know, I know, I know, I know the moon will be rising back home.

Don’t forget where you belong, home. Don’t forget where you belong, home. If you ever feel alone, don’t. You were never on your own and the proof is in this song.

As Louis continued to play, Harry walked over and stood next to him. He put a hand on his shoulder as he started to sing.

I’ve been away for ages, but I got everything I need. I’m flicking through the pages I’ve written in my memory. I feel like I’m dreaming, oh so I know, I know, I know, I know that I’m never leaving. No, I won’t go.

As the boys went into the chorus again, the video screen played a montage of pictures and videos of the boys throughout their careers.

Lights off when they should be on. Even stars in the skies, they’re wrong.

Short days when the nights are long when I think of things I’ve done.

Don’t matter how far I’ve gone, I’m always free to run home.

The boys stomped their feet and clapped with crowd as they went into the chorus one last time. Pride swelled in their chests as the crowd sang along with them, singing the words they created. Harry caught Louis’ eye and smiled, mouthing ‘I love you.’ Louis winked at him and led the boys to center stage. They stood next to other, their arms around each others’ shoulders as they looked out at all the people who made it possible.

Home… Don’t forget it… Home… If you ever feel alone, don’t. You were never on your own. You were never, and the proof is in this song. Never forget it, this song. Don’t forget it. No, I’ll never forget it, this song. You were never…

Chapter Text

Months went by and soon, Louis and Harry were preparing for their ten-year anniversary. Ten years. Liam, Niall, and Zayn all had something planned for their anniversary party they insisted on having. Harry maxed out two credit cards to get his present for Louis, and Louis… Well, Louis didn’t have anything for Harry.

Ten years is a long time to be with someone, especially during the generation they were currently living in. They knew they were committed to each other. They weren’t worried about falling out of love, or cheating on one another because they only had eyes for each other. People were constantly throwing themselves at the boys, but they never blinked an eye. They never even turned their heads.

Louis kept writing songs, figuring he could throw a private concert for Harry. Harry’s always said that his favorite thing about Louis was his voice. However, when a letter came in the mail notifying Harry about his credit cards, Louis knew just singing to him wouldn’t work. He paced back and forth, biting his lip, wracking his head on what to get him. Coming up with nothing, he sighed and gave up. He pulled his phone out and dialed, pacing again as he listened to it ring.

“Liam, I need your help,” Louis said as soon as Liam answered the phone call.

“Let me guess,” Liam said, walking away from the boys for privacy. “You can’t think of anything to get Harry.”

“You know me so well,” Louis complimented, putting him on speaker. He pulled up Google and started searching for anniversary ideas. “I know you know what he’s getting me. I’m not stupid. I have a few songs written for him, but other than that, I don’t know. I could probably get him one of those hipster rings he likes so much…”

“No,” Liam interrupted. He shook his head and held back a laugh at his helpless friend. “Do not get him a ‘hipster’ ring. He can get those himself. You need to get him something special. Something from your heart.”

“What can I get him that I haven’t already?” Louis asked, scrolling through a jewelry website. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, feeling defeated. “We have matching tattoos for crying out loud. It doesn’t get any more special than that, Liam.”

“Hey, you called me. Don’t start getting sassy.”

“Fine,” Louis sighed, starting to pace again. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just stressing a lot about this. Ten years, Liam. Harry and I have been in a committed relationship for ten years. This is a big deal.”

“That’s your problem. You’re stressing too much. Just calm down, take a deep breath, and the perfect gift will just fall into your lap.”

~*~

“Happy anniversary,” Harry whispered a few mornings later, kissing down Louis’ chest. Louis stirred awake, humming softly. He reached up, running a hand through his curls. Louis blinked his eyes open and looked down at Harry, a smile creeping its way onto his face.

“Happy anniversary, baby,” Louis said, pulling Harry to him. They kissed slowly, holding each other in their arms. Harry slowly rolled onto his back, pulling Louis on top of him. Straddling him, Louis slowly pulled away from the kiss and began kissing down Harry’s jawline, giving him soft love bites. Harry crooned softly, not wanting to break their special moment.

Louis sat up and ran his hands along Harry’s chest, tracing his tattoos with his fingers. Harry placed his hands on his hips and smiled up at him. Louis caught his eye and smiled back before spreading Harry’s bare legs, kneeling between them. He ran his hands down his toned torso, lightly scratching his fingernails across Harry’s abs. Louis felt Harry tense beneath his fingers, soft whimpers releasing from his plump, pink lips.

Louis gently rolled Harry onto his stomach, spreading his cheeks. He leaned down and licked along his puckered hole. Harry gasped for air, feeling his abdomen constrict with sudden pleasure. Once Louis got his hole nice and wet, he trailed a finger down his spine and slowly slid it in, feeling the sudden warmth. Harry moaned softly as Louis began to thrust his finger, opening him up. It wasn’t often that they switched roles, but when they did, it was glorious.

Louis went from one finger to two in a few long minutes, barely brushing Harry’s sweet spot. Harry gripped the sheets and buried his face into the pillow, moaning louder. Louis leaned over him as he worked him over with his fingers and kissed his neck, scraping his teeth oh so gently. With his free hand, he turned Harry’s head toward his and looked down at him, smiling softly.

“You are so beautiful,” Louis whispered, leaning down. He kissed Harry softly, nipping at his bottom lip. He slid in a third finger and Harry gasped at the feeling. Louis slid his tongue along Harry’s bottom lip, deepening the kiss. Their tongues tangled with each other slowly as Louis quickened his fingers.

“Baby… Please,” Harry breathed, gripping the sheets again. Louis slowly pulled away, kissing him one more time. He pulled Harry to his knees and placed a soft kiss into one of the dimples at the bottom of his spine, pushing in deeper with his fingers. Harry’s curls fell in front of his face as he backed up against Louis, silently begging for more.

“Nuh uh,” Louis whispered, gripping Harry’s hips to hold him steady. He kissed up his spine, dragging his tongue along the dip in his back. “You’re going to cum just from my fingers.”

“Oh!” Harry moaned, feeling Louis fuck him with his fingers. Harry balled his hands into fists, panting quickly. Louis curled his fingers inside him, hitting that spot. Harry let out a loud moan as he came all over the sheets. “Fuck!”

Louis pulled his fingers out slowly and ran his hand over Harry’s back. He leaned over and grabbed the lube before kneeling up behind Harry. Harry rolled them over quickly and straddled Louis, taking the bottle of lube from him. Harry smiled lazily down at him as he poured some into his hand. Harry sat back on Louis’ thighs as he took him into his hand, stroking him slowly.

“If I’m going to cum from your hand, you’re going to cum from mine,” Harry smirked, gripping Louis tight in his hand. Louis let his head fall back onto the pillow as Harry stroked him faster, moans falling from his soft lips. Feeling his orgasm get closer, Louis’ moans started getting louder. Harry leaned over Louis and took his ear into his mouth, biting his earlobe softly.

“Cum for me,” Harry whispered, rubbing his thumb across Louis’ tip. Louis groaned loud, letting his orgasm take over and came between their chests. Harry pulled back slowly and ran his finger down Louis’ chest. He brought his finger to Louis’ mouth and slowly slid it in, letting Louis taste himself. Louis sucked Harry’s finger softly, looking up at him. Harry smiled softly and kneeled over him. “So beautiful.”

Harry gripped Louis again, stroking him back to full hardness. Fireworks erupted in Louis’ stomach as he watched Harry’s movements. He sat up, running his hands up Harry’s thighs. He gripped Harry’s hips tight and guided him as Harry sank down onto him, enveloping him in a tight warmth. Harry threw his head back and moaned loudly, feeling the wonderful pleasure of Louis filling him up.

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck and kissed him deeply. He lifted up until just the tip was inside and came back down, moaning against Louis’ lips as he began riding him slowly. Louis gripped Harry’s hips, guiding his hips as Harry took him in all the way and moved his hips in slow circular motions.

Minutes went by and the sun began to rise, shining through the curtains. The sun streaked across their sweaty bodies, making their skin shimmer and glow. Harry stared at Louis as he quickened his pace, riding him hard and fast. Louis reached up and ran his hands through his curls and gripped the back of Harry’s neck, putting their heads together. Moaning in sync, Harry bounced on top of him, taking him in quick and hard.

“I… Love… You…” Louis moaned against Harry’s lips. Harry leaned back and gripped his ankles for support. He threw his head back and arched his back as he rode Louis harder. Harry moaned loudly, stars blurring his vision. He closed his eyes, feeling as close to heaven as he could get without dying.

“Fuck me,” Harry begged, riding him faster. Louis gripped Harry’s hips, bringing him to a stop. He planted his feet into the bed and began thrusting fast and hard, his hips slamming against Harry’s cheeks. Harry bounced along with him, feeling every inch of him tingle with pleasure. Louis couldn’t help but stare, watching as Harry’s curls bounced as he went harder and deeper. Louis moaned loudly and kept his thrusts hard and quick. Soon enough, Louis hit that sweet spot and Harry came instantly, feeling fireworks erupt through his stomach. “Fuck!”

Louis rolled them over and quickened his pace, chasing his orgasm. Harry gripped the headboard, feeling a third orgasm building in his stomach. Louis grabbed Harry’s legs and put them over his shoulders as he continued to slam into him, the smacking sound ringing in his ears. He hugged Harry’s legs tight to his chest as he moved, hitting Harry’s spot again and again. Harry could barely catch his breath as he felt his abdomen constrict with pleasure.

“L-Louis…” Harry choked out, barely able to get the words out. Louis moaned loudly at the sound of his name coming from Harry’s mouth and slammed into him again, feeling his orgasm reach its climax. Feeling Louis pulse inside him, Harry came a third time and went to that special place, seeing stars. Louis stayed inside him as he leaned down, kissing Harry softly and feeling spent.

~*~

“Sit down,” Louis instructed, pointing to the couch before taking his seat at the piano. Looking freshly fucked, Harry sat down and brought his knees to his chest. He rested his chin on his knees, smiling lazily at Louis. His mind was still a little foggy from the morning sex.

“How many songs did you write?” Harry asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Louis looked at him and smiled.

“You know me way too well,” Louis said, placing the sheet music on the piano. Louis straightened his posture and placed his delicate fingers on the keys. He looked at Harry and smiled as he began playing.

Everybody needs inspiration. Everybody needs a song. A beautiful melody when the nights are long ‘cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy, yeah…

When my world is falling apart and there’s no light to break up the dark that’s when I, I, when I look at you. When the waves are flooding the shore and I can’t find my way home anymore that’s when I, I, when I look at you.

When I look at you, I see forgiveness. I see the truth. You love me for who I am like the stars hold the moon right there where they belong and I know I’m not alone.

Louis went into the chorus again, keeping his eyes on Harry. Harry’s eyes were filled with tears as Louis’ flawless voice flowed through him. His heart pounded in his chest, knowing that everything was about to change.

You appear just like a dream to me. Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me, all I need, every breath that I breathe. Don’t you know you’re beautiful? Yeah, yeah, yeah…

Louis kept singing, his voice getting raspy from the emotion. He couldn’t stop staring at Harry and wondering how he managed to get so lucky with a man as wonderful as Harry.

Louis took his fingers off the keys and smiled a little bit. Harry was staring at him with a look that had been saved specifically for Louis. That was his look. Harry motioned for him, smiling. Louis stood up and walked over to the couch, sitting next to him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and kissed him softly. He pulled away and stroked Louis’ cheek softly with his thumb, staring into his blue eyes.

“Sing another one. I know you’ve got more,” Harry said, kissing him again. Louis smiled and nodded, reaching over to grab his guitar. He sat on the coffee table, making sure he was in front of Harry. He looked into those green eyes and smiled.

“So,” Louis started, plucking a few chords. He took a deep breath and looked at Harry. “After I first met you and when I started staying with Liam, I wrote a lot. I have so many journals filled with all the songs I wrote. Anyway, this song is one that I wrote a couple of weeks after I left Alex. I wanted to play it for you, but I thought it was too soon. Now, I think I’m ready for you to hear it.”

“Okay. I’m ready,” Harry said. Louis leaned in and kissed Harry softly. He cleared his throat and started playing, staring at Harry.

Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave, how can I love when I’m afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone, all of my doubts suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer…

I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more…

Time stands still, beauty and all she is, I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what’s standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this. One step closer…

I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more and all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me and I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more… One step closer… One step closer…

Louis sang the chorus again, staring into Harry’s eyes. Harry stared right back, afraid to move as the words flowed from Louis’ mouth and into his heart. Never before has he ever felt this way about a person. Harry swayed to the music, mouthing the chorus along with Louis.

~*~

The day went by with Harry and Louis spending it locked inside their loving home, wrapped passionately around each other. Friends and family called and wished them a happy anniversary, leaving never-ending smiles on their faces. As dusk started to approach, the boyfriends started getting ready for their party that had been planned for them. Harry demanded that they get ready in opposite sides of the house, to be able to surprise each other.

As Harry smoothed down his suit jacket, he took a deep breath and stared at his reflection. Making sure his present was tucked away deep inside his pocket, he made his way into the living room. He checked his watch, knowing Louis would just be getting ready. He smiled to himself and grabbed his keys and snuck out of the house, locking the door behind him.

Louis took his time styling his hair just the way Harry likes it most, in a messy quiff. He shaved, making sure his skin was silky smooth. His clothes were another problem. After what seemed like eternity, Louis finally managed to pick out an outfit and quickly dressed. As he finished up, the doorbell rang.

“Who could possibly be here?” Louis asked himself, checking his watch. He slipped his shoes on and made his way through the house. As he neared the door, the bell rang again and was followed by a few knocks.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” Louis shouted, unlocking the door and flinging it open. On the front stoop stood Harry, holding a plush teddy bear in front of his face. The bear’s arms were sewn together with a single rose placed between them.

“Happy anniversary, Louis,” Harry said, smiling wide. He held the bear out to Louis, winking at him. Louis held the bear in his arms and smelled the sweet scent of his favorite flower. He smiled up at Harry, in awe of being blessed with such an angel for a boyfriend.

“So, this is why you wanted to get ready in separate rooms. You snuck out, didn’t you?” Louis questioned, smirking up at him. Harry smiled very innocently and kissed him lightly. He then stepped aside and held his hand out toward the driveway, revealing a limo. Louis stepped outside, smiling wide.

“Your chariot awaits, m’lady.”

“You did not just refer to me as the woman,” Louis said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, you do bottom a lot, Lou.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m a girl, you twat!” Louis squawked, punching Harry playfully in the chest. Harry laughed and grabbed his arm, pulling him close. He leaned down and kissed him softly before pulling away and leading him to the limo.

“Did the lads plan this, too?” Louis asked, nodding thanks to the limo driver as he opened the door. He slid inside and looked at Harry, smiling softly.

“No. I did. Knowing Niall had a hand in planning the party, there’s bound to be plenty of alcohol. I don’t want to worry about driving home. Plus, it’s our ten-year, Lou. I wanted tonight to be one you’ll never forget,” Harry confessed, sliding in next to Louis. Louis turned to him and hugged him, burying his face in his neck and breathing him in.

“I’m not going to forget this night, Haz. It’s impossible.”

“Well, just in case, I’m going to make sure of it.” Harry promised, settling back as the limo took off. Louis looked around the inside of the limo, his eyes landing on a bottle of champagne. Louis smiled and reached over, grabbing the bottle and two flutes. Harry smiled and took the bottle from Louis, popping the cork. He poured their glasses and clinked them together before taking a sip. Louis took a drink then grabbed their glasses, setting them down.

“I have your present. I’d like to give it to you now. Is that okay?” Louis asked, getting on his knees in front of Harry. Harry smirked a little, eyeing his position. Louis chuckled and shook his head, pulling a velvet box out of his pocket. Harry sat straight up, his green eyes getting wide.

“Lou…” Harry started, staring at the box. Louis kissed him softly, silencing him. He slowly pulled away and opened the velvet box, revealing a white gold necklace with an anchor pendant attached to it. Harry took a deep breath, feeling relieved. He smiled, picking the necklace up to take a closer look.

“See the anchor? Look at what’s wrapped around it,” Louis said, smiling at him.

“It’s a rope.”

“Just like our tattoos. Plus, I had an emerald and a sapphire added to the anchor,” Louis explained, pointing at the two jewels. He looked up at Harry and smiled. “It took me a long time to figure out what to get you and I was scrolling through my phone when I saw this. Once I saw it, I knew this was it. You’re my anchor, Harry.”

“And I’m tied to you,” Harry said, taking Louis’ face into his hands and kissing him lovingly. Louis returned the kiss before pulling away slowly. He took the necklace out of the box and brought his hands around Harry’s neck, putting it on him. Harry looked down at it, holding it up with his fingers. He looked at Louis and smiled softly. “Perfect.”

~*~

“Thank you for coming, everyone. It means a lot to Louis and I that you’ve come to help us celebrate this milestone in our lives.” Harry said, standing up and looking around the room. The boys had rented out a hotel ballroom for the evening, as well as two floors with available rooms for people who didn’t want to drive home.

“I’d like to take this time to give Louis my present. Louis, will you join me on the dance floor?” Harry asked, holding his hand out for Louis to take. Louis smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling himself to his feet. Harry led Louis to the middle of the dance floor, a spotlight shining over the two of them.

“You sang me two of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard today. They filled me with so much more love for you, and I didn’t know that was still possible. But, I’ve brought some songs, too. I’d like to sing them to you,” Harry said, smiling at Louis. Louis nodded and touched his cheek. Harry grabbed his hands and held them tight. He raised them to his lips and kissed them, smiling. Louis kept his eyes on Harry’s, a small blush painting his cheeks. Liam sat at a piano at the edge of the dance floor and began playing, smiling at his two best friends.

Much as you blame yourself, you can’t be blamed for the way that you feel. I know an example of a love that was even remotely real. How can you understand something that you never had? If you let me, I can help you out with all of that.

Let me love you and I will love you until you learn to love yourself. Let me love you. I know you’re troubled. Don’t be afraid. Oh, I can help. Let me love you and I will love you until you learn to love yourself. Let me love you. A heart of numbness gets brought to life. I’ll take you there.

Harry dipped Louis back, kissing him softly. He pulled him back up before wrapping an arm securely around his waist. He placed Louis’ hand on his shoulder and began to gracefully waltz them across the floor as he continued to sing to him.

I can see the pain behind your eyes. It’s been there for quite a while. I just want to be the one to remind you what it is to smile. I would like to show you what true love can really do.

The crowd of family and friends watched as the two lovers spun around the dance floor. Harry spun Louis around as he went into the chorus again. Louis’ heart pounded in his ears as they kept their eyes on each other. Louis was mesmerized by Harry’s song to him. Tears welled in his eyes as Harry flitted them around the floor. Harry slowed them to a stop as the music softened. He stood straight up and took Louis’ face into his hands and kissed him softly.

Let me love you and I will love you until you learn to love yourself. Let me love you. I know you’re troubled. Don’t be afraid. Oh, I can help.

The crowd cheered as Louis flung himself into Harry’s arms, hugging him tight. Harry spun him around once more before setting him back onto his feet. He kissed his cheek before slowly pulling away.

“Stay right here. Don’t move,” Harry instructed, walking over to the DJ. Louis watched curiously as Harry whispered something in his ear, the DJ nodding in agreement. Harry shook his hand and walked back to Louis, taking his hands into his. He smiled down at Louis, kissing him softly.

“Louis, from the moment I met you, I knew you were something special,” Harry shared, kissing their hands. Louis smiled softly as the sound of violins filled the room. “I want you to know that in every reality and every lifetime, I will always choose you.”

I love the way your hair gets in your eyes and I love the way that you can’t tell a lie. You’re an angel and I can’t believe you’re mine. Nothing ordinary. You’re extraordinary. Pretty good at being wrong for my whole life, but with you, I know there’s one thing I got right.

On days when it’s easy, on days when it’s hard, you don’t have to be nervous. Just fall in my arms. My love is a sure thing that you’ll never lose. No matter what this life puts us through, I choose you.

It’s the way you make me wanna say these words. The way that you still want me at my worst. It’s the vow that says I’ll be here, darlin’ for better or for worse. It ain’t momentary. So…

While Harry was singing, a video screen had been set up. On it, videos and pictures played in a montage of Harry and Louis over the years. Louis watched their lives together unfold on the screen as he hung onto Harry’s every word.

I do. I do. I do, I choose you. I do. I do. I do. On days when it’s easy, on days when it’s hard. Well, I promise it’s worth it. Just fall in my arms. As long as my heart beats, I swear that it’s true. No matter what this life puts us through, I choose you.

Harry smiled softly and released one of Louis’ hands as he slowly lowered himself onto one knee. Louis gasped as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the black velvet box. Harry looked up at Louis and opened the box. Louis stared down at the beautiful ring with wide eyes, not believing what he was seeing.

“Louis William Tomlinson,” Harry started, smiling up at him. Louis tore his eyes away from the ring and looked at Harry, tears falling down his cheeks. “We have been together for ten years. Ten amazing, loving years. You are my reason for living. You are, in literal sense, everything that I am.”

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.”

“You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable just as I am now is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.”

Louis couldn’t believe what was happening. Kneeling before him was a man that loved him unconditionally and without fault. A man that saved him not only from an evil man, but also from himself. Harry completely changed Louis’ outlook on life, making him believe that there was such a thing as true love and here it was right in front of him. Louis’ breath hitched as Harry took the ring out of the box and held it up to him.

“Louis William Tomlinson,” Harry started, placing the ring at the tip of Louis’ left ring finger. The crowd held their breath as Harry asked the most important question of his entire life. “Will you make me the happiest man in this world? Will you accept my promise to love you until we take our last breaths? Will you marry me?”

Chapter Text

It was no surprise that Louis accepted Harry’s proposal. How could he not? Harry was the love of Louis’ life and vice versa. There wasn’t a single force in the world that could have made Louis reject him. But, that doesn’t mean there’s not a force that won’t try.

The next few months went by in a blur. Wedding plans, tour rehearsals, and everything else that was band related kept the boys very busy. Niall had elected himself the ring bearer which left Harry and Louis to decide which of the boys they wanted as their best man.

“It doesn’t really matter, does it? Who gets who?” Louis asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Harry and Louis were in their living room, wedding magazines scattered across the coffee table. They each had their laptop, scrolling through different wedding websites.

“I guess not,” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders. He circled something on a page for later planning. He put the end of his pen in his mouth, biting the cap. He looked at Louis and smiled. “Why don’t you go with Liam, though? You’ve been best friends since high school.”

“So, Niall will bear the rings, Liam will be my best man, and Zayn will be yours?” Louis asked, looking up at Harry where he sat on the couch.

“Sounds good to me,” Harry agreed, leaning forward to give Louis a kiss. Louis smiled and continued looking through the magazines.

“‘Better than words. You drive me crazy. Someone like you, always be my baby,’” Louis sang softly, circling decorations that he liked. Harry snapped his head up at the words and looked at the back of Louis’ head. As Louis continued to sing softly, Harry tossed the magazine aside and leaned forward, looking over Louis’ shoulders.

“What was that?”

“Oh,” Louis said, blushing a little. He turned his head to look at Harry. “It was just something I’ve been working on.”

“It sounds really good, Lou. We should put it on the next album.”

“Maybe I will,” Louis said, smiling softly. Hours went by as they continued their planning and by the end of the day, the only thing they were certain of was the venue.

~*~

“The O2? You want to get married at the O2?” Liam asked, raising an eyebrow. Louis smiled and nodded despite his friend’s skepticism. They were currently in the studio, trying to write. Liam had complained to Louis that they hadn’t spent any quality time together, so Louis reluctantly left Harry to the wedding planning. “But, why?”

“Well, Haz and I were talking and the O2 holds so many memories for us. That’s where I made my way back to all of you,” Louis explained, memories surfacing in his mind.

“But, there are so many seats, Lou. How do you expect to fill them all?”

“Well,” Louis started. He picked up his wedding binder and hugged it to his chest. “It was Harry’s idea, really, but we’ve decided that along with our family and friends, some of the fans should be allowed to attend as well. We’ll have the wedding and reception there and after we’ll have a smaller, private reception at Whiskey Kiss.”

“Whiskey… Lou, really?” Liam asked, his eyes lighting up at the mention of his beloved bar.

“Yeah. You still own it, don’t you?”

“Of course. Ruth is running it right now and when we decide to retire from music, I’ll go back to it. Have you thought about what you and Harry are going to do when we retire?”

“Well, assuming that we haven’t started a family by then, I’ll probably join you at the bar.”

“A family? When did you start wanting kids?” Liam asked, fiddling with his pen. There were blank pages of sheet music scattered about the recording booth. Louis picked one up and scribbled a title at the top and looked at Liam, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“I’ve always wanted kids, Li. I just couldn’t have them with Alex so I never talked about it. I mean, look at what he put me through. Imagine what he would have done to a child.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m really glad you’re away from him. Harry is perfect for you,” Liam said, smiling at Louis. Louis’ cheeks were tinted pink from Liam’s comment. He looked back down at the sheet music and started writing. They were soon interrupted by Louis’ phone ringing, vibrating across the table. Louis picked it up, Paul’s name flashing across the screen. A sense of dread filled Louis as he shakily pressed the answer button.

“Paul?” Louis asked, biting his lip. He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer, but he knew it was no use. He knew what the phone call was about.

“Louis,” Paul said, his voice laced with anger. Beginning to worry, Louis stood up and started pacing.

“Is everything okay?” Louis asked. He held his breath as he waited for Paul to release him of his worry.

“We got him,” Paul announced. The color drained from Louis’ face and seconds later, he hit the floor with a thud.

“Louis!” Liam shouted, rushing to his side. He picked Louis’ head off the floor and placed it in his lap. He picked Louis’ phone up and held it to his ear.

“Paul? What the hell did you just tell him?”

“We found Alex. He’s been taken into custody. Why? What happened?”

“He’s just fainted!” Liam exclaimed. He shook Louis’ body, trying to wake him. Liam frantically looked around the studio for anything that could help him. He gently placed Louis’ head back on the floor to fetch a bottle of water. Liam took his shirt off and soaked it in the cold water. He hurried back over to Louis and started to dab his face with the wet shirt. Moments later, Louis began to stir.

“What happened?” Louis asked groggily, slowly blinking his eyes open. His vision was unfocused as he fully regained consciousness. Liam explained their situation and when he was done, Louis blushed in embarrassment. Louis sat up and looked at Liam.

“This doesn’t leave this room. I’ll never hear the end of it,” Louis said, getting to his feet. Liam agreed and helped Louis up. They looked at each other before breaking into laughter. Feeling lighter, Louis brushed himself off and thrust himself back into writing.

~*~

“Okay,” Simon started, sitting down at his desk. He ran a hand over his face, the stress taking over his features. He looked at the boys sitting across from him and took a deep breath. “Alex has been incarcerated.”

“Good. It’s about time,” Harry said, putting an arm around Louis. Louis kept his focus on the window, gazing at the sky.

“I’ve spoken with a lawyer and the prosecuting attorney has requested to speak with you, Louis. They need your statement.”

“But, I already gave a statement at the hospital,” Louis said, tearing his gaze away from the window and turning to Simon. Simon nodded and opened an email on his computer, reading it.

“They considered you to be in a fragile state so the prosecution team wants to make sure that your story is the same as it was in the hospital. If we make them go with your original statement, Alex’s lawyer can argue that you weren’t in your right mind and he could be released on lack of evidence,” Simon said, closing the email. He sighed and linked his fingers together. “Look, I don’t like it any more than you do, but if this is what we have to do to make sure he doesn’t get out, I suggest you do it.”

“Fine,” Louis sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked away from his boss and turned his attention to the window again. The skies were cloudy gray and lightning could be seen from a distance. Harry tried to get Louis’ attention, but Louis pulled away and stood up, walking away from everyone. He crossed his arms and took a deep breath. “I want to talk to him.”

“What?” Simon asked, looking at Louis incredulously. Louis walked over to the window and watched the trees blow for a few more seconds before looking at Simon.

“Alex. I want to talk to him.”

“And why, may I ask?” Simon asked, crossing his arms. The boys watched Louis as he leaned against the windowsill, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He shrugged and tapped the heel of his shoe against the wall, taking a deep breath. When he looked back up, all eyes were on him.

“Because I’ve went years without knowing what he was thinking and why he did what he did. I’m not afraid of him anymore. I’ve proved to myself that I can fight him even in my most vulnerable state. Besides, he’ll be behind bars.”

“Louis, no,” Harry said, standing up. He walked over to his fiancé and gripped his shoulders, shaking him a little. “What the hell is wrong with you? I’m not letting you anywhere near that piece of shit.”

“It’s not your decision,” Louis said, pushing his hands away. He walked back over to the desk and looked down at Simon. “I’m talking to him and that’s final.”

“No,” Harry argued, walking over to Louis. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He looked at Simon for help. “Simon, tell him no. He can’t do this.”

“Tell me no?” Louis asked, looking at Harry. He narrowed his eyes at him and stood straight, looking up at him. “Nobody is going to tell me what I can and can’t do, not even you.”

“Louis,” Harry sighed, taking his hand. He looked at Louis and kissed his hand softly. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not trying to control you. All I meant is that I think it’s a bad idea and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Like I said, it’s not your decision,” Louis said, pulling his hand away. He grabbed his phone and walked out of the office, letting the door slam behind him. The boys looked at each other helplessly, wondering what was going to happen.

~*~

A week later, Louis walked through the prison as he followed a guard. Inmates were standing at their cell doors, whistling at Louis as he walked by. He kept his eyes forward, watching the guard. He was led through many hallways before being ushered into an interview room. The door unlocked and opened, letting Louis walk through. He stepped inside as the door slid shut behind him and took a look around. In the middle of the room was a table bolted to the floor. Sitting at the table was Alex, wearing an orange jumpsuit. His legs were shackled and cuffed to the table as well as hands. Louis’ breath caught in his throat as he watched Alex size him up.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the big, bad Louis Tomlinson,” Alex sneered, smirking up at Louis. Louis stood straight and tried not to show any fear as he walked to the table and stood across from him.

“Was I just a game to you, Alex?” Louis asked, staring down at him. Alex looked up at him and shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “When you came into my bar, did you decide you were going to pick on the poor bartender? Or, were you just too insecure about yourself and you knew one day I was going to leave you so you decided to torture me to get me to stay?”

“Shut up,” Alex said, his smirk turning into a glare. Louis knew he had struck a nerve. He placed his hands on the table and leaned toward him, looking at him.

“You were too insecure because your dick is the size of your pinky finger so you beat me. You raped me because it made you feel powerful. Some big man you are.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Alex shouted, fighting against the cuffs. Louis stood straight and crossed his arms, shaking his head.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore, Alex. You lost that right when you tried to kill me,” Louis said, glaring down at him. “How does it feel? Being tied up and there’s nothing you can do to stop me? I could do whatever I want to you. I could slap you, punch you. I could strangle you.”

Alex fought harder as Louis continued his mental assault on his attacker. Soon, tears began flowing from Alex’s eyes. His wrists began bleeding as he jerked against the handcuffs. He screamed and shouted. Louis stood in front of him and watched as Alex’s walls finally crashed down.

“I’m sorry, okay?! Fuck, I’m sorry!” Alex shouted, looking up at him. He shook his head at Louis and gave up fighting the cuffs. “You don’t know what it was like. Every night at that fucking bar, I watched guys hit on you. I watched you light up like a fucking Christmas tree whenever you got on that fucking stage, and I knew. I knew you were going to leave so I had to make you stay.”

“I never planned on leaving you, Alex!” Louis shouted, gripping his hair in frustration. “I loved you! I was a virgin when we got together for God’s sake! And if I remember correctly, you were one of those fucking guys!”

“That was different! Once we got together, it wasn’t okay for all those drunken bastards to fucking scam on you! You were mine!”

“Yes!” Louis shouted, hitting the table with his fists. He leaned over and came nose to nose with Alex. “Yes, I was yours! I was every bit yours and you fucking abused me! God, Alex! Do you even know what you fucking put me through?! Liam had to stitch me up left and right and you didn’t even care! You didn’t care one damn bit about me!”

“Yes, I did! Don’t fucking say I never cared about you because I did! Every time I left a bruise or drew blood, it tore me apart inside!” Alex shouted, his face red with anger. Louis clenched and unclenched his fists. A smack rang out as Louis’ hand connected with Alex’s face.

“You fucking asshole. I hope you rot in hell,” Louis gritted out, pressing the buzzer for the door. The door slid open and Louis gave Alex one last look before storming out of the room. He could hear Alex’s screams as he walked away.

~*~

When Louis got home, he was still fuming with anger. The boys were waiting in the living room. They rushed to him, hitting him with questions. He pushed them out of his way without a word and stormed off toward his studio. He slammed the door shut and locked it. Then, he screamed. He fell to his knees and gripped his hair as he screamed out his anger.

Hours went by and Louis never surfaced from the studio. The boys sat outside the door, listening. They could hear the piano, a guitar, even the drums. Harry was frantic, pacing. He tried to get Louis to come out, but Louis wouldn’t respond to him.

“Wait, listen,” Liam whispered. They all pressed their ears to the door and listened as Louis started playing. Louis kept the recording light on the whole time, recording every little lyric that came out of his mouth.

He screamed again, slamming his fists down on the keys of his piano. There were tears stained on his cheeks as he ripped up pages of sheet music. He stood up and threw a chair across the room, the legs breaking as soon as it hit the wall. He stood in the middle of his destruction, breathing heavily. Then, he walked over to piano and stared at the keys. He took a deep breath and began to play.

This is a story that I have never told. I gotta get this off my chest to let it go. I need to take back the light inside you stole. You’re a criminal and you steal like you’re a pro.

All the pain and the truth, I wear like a battle wound. So ashamed, so confused. I was broken and bruised. Now I’m a warrior. Now I’ve got thicker skin. I’m a warrior. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and my armor is made of steel, you can’t get in. I’m a warrior and you can never hurt me again.

Out of the ashes, I’m burning like a fire. You can save your apologies, you’re nothing but a liar. I’ve got shame, I’ve got scars that I will never show. I’m survivor in more ways than you know.

The boys closed their eyes as they listened to Louis sing. Harry’s heart pounded in his chest as tears fell from his eyes. All he wanted to do was help Louis, but he couldn’t.

There’s a part of me that I can’t get back. A little boy grew up too fast. All it took was once, I’ll never be the same. Now I’m taking back my life today. Nothing left that you can say ‘cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway.

The boys were stunned as they listened to Louis finish the song. There was so much emotion in his voice that they had never heard before. Harry rattled the doorknob, trying to get it open, but it was no use. He fell into the door, panic settling in his bones.

He couldn’t stop. Sobs fought their way out of his chest, choking him. Flashbacks were zooming through his mind, playing behind his closed eyelids. Memories he thought he’d never recall again came about, swirling with Alex. His father, an evil man he never spoke or thought about, appeared before his eyes. He screamed and shot away from the piano, falling to the floor.

“No, no, no!” Louis shouted, shaking his head furiously. “Leave me alone!”

Harry started crying as he heard Louis shout. He threw himself against the door, trying to bust it open. He needed to get inside, but the door wasn’t budging.

“Guys, help me! Please!” Harry pleaded, looking at the boys. They all started their attempts in breaking the door. Louis lost himself, his mind taking him back to his younger years.

The man banged his fist harshly against the door as Louis cowered in the corner. Tears were falling from the child’s eyes as he covered his ears, whimpering each time his father pounded on the door.

“Louis, you little faggot! Open this door right fucking now!” His father screamed, kicking the door. A beer bottle dangled from his hand, sloshing around as he kicked and punched the door.

“Louis, you fucking bastard! When I get in there, you’re in big trouble! Now open this door!”

Louis’ eyes widened as he heard the wood cracking. He scrambled to his desk and grabbed his chair. He drug it across the floor and wedged it under the door handle, but he knew it wouldn’t hold for long. He knew he only had a minute or two before the door would give way. He grabbed his backpack and shoved in some clothes and a stuffed bear his mother got him before running to the window. He tried to push it open, but it was bolted shut.

He heard the door crack once more and a shout from his father. Louis looked around his room frantically, looking for something to help him. He picked up his football trophy, the only thing his father ever praised him for and threw it at the window with all the force he could muster up. Glass shattered, but not enough for him to escape. His father’s shouts got louder and the cracking became more insistent. He only had seconds.

He ran to the window and he shoved his bag through, letting it fall two stories to the ground. Using his hands, he broke the glass more. Blood started dripping and shards of glass wedged themselves into the small boy’s hands. Finally, he broke all the glass away and started to climb out of the window.

“Get back here, you little fuck!” His father shouted, bursting into the room. He kicked the chair aside and ran to the window, catching Louis’ arm just as he was about to drop. Louis placed his feet and a bloody hand on the side of the house and pushed, trying to get out of his father’s viselike grip.

“Let me go, Daddy!” Louis yelled, his tiny voice echoing through the night. His father started pulling him back up through the window. Louis was desperate. He leaned forward and latched onto his father’s dirty hand, biting him. His father screamed and released him.

Louis screamed, falling to the ground. He tried to catch himself, but his weight was too much and a resonating snap went off as Louis felt his wrist snap. He heard his father’s thunderous footsteps bounding through the house. Ignoring the pain, Louis grabbed his bag and ran, not once looking back.

“Louis!” Harry shrieked, finally bursting into the room. He ran to Louis, taking him into his arms and holding him to his chest. Blood seeped from his wrists from where Louis had unknowingly smashed their glass coffee table and injured himself.

“Call an ambulance!” Harry shouted, grabbing Louis’ wrists. He squeezed them tight as he applied pressure. Louis’ eyes were unfocused as he tried to fight Harry off, trying to pull his arms free.

“No, baby. Louis, it’s me. Come on, come back to me. Find your way back to me. Focus on my voice. Come on, baby,” Harry pleaded, pulling Louis closer. He crashed his lips into Louis’ and kissed him feverishly. Louis ceased his movements and went limp in Harry’s arms. Harry slowly pulled away and looked at Louis, watching as his eyes came back into focus.

“Harry…” Louis whispered, his voice raw from screaming.

“An ambulance is on its way. You went away for a little bit, Lou. But, you’re back now, right? You’re not going anywhere.” Harry said, kissing Louis on the forehead. Louis looked up at Harry with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I never should have gone to talk to him.”

“No, Lou. We’ll talk about it later. Right now, we need to get you to a hospital,” Harry said, helping Louis to his feet. Sirens could be heard in the distance, getting louder as they neared the Tomlinson-Styles residence. Once the ambulance finally arrived, the paramedics immediately started tending to Louis’ wrists, wrapping them with gauze to try to stop the bleeding. Harry tried to climb in the back when a paramedic stopped him.

“Sir, you can’t come with us.”

“The hell I can’t! I’m his fiancé. I’m coming with him!” Harry commanded, shoving his way into the ambulance.

“Don’t worry, Louis. We’ll be right behind you,” Liam promised, pulling his phone out. He called Simon and told him what had happened, the sirens fading as the ambulance sped away to get Louis to the hospital.

~*~

A few hours went by before Harry came into the waiting room. The three friends looked up with concerning eyes, worry throughout their features. Harry sighed and sat down, biting his lip. He ran a shaky hand through his hair before pulling his phone out.

“Harry?” Zayn asked, touching his arm. Harry looked up from his phone, tears welling up in his eyes.

“They’re admitting him.”

“What? Why?” Liam demanded, looking at Harry. Harry’s shoulders slumped, feeling defeated.

“They’re putting him on a 72-hour psychiatric hold. They think he tried to commit suicide,” Harry said, tears falling down his cheeks. The boys breath hitched in shock from hearing the news. Niall bit his lip and took a deep breath.

“How do we know he didn’t?”

“Excuse me?” Harry asked, his head snapping up to look at his friend. Niall raised his hands, trying to keep Harry calm.

“I’m not trying to fight. All I’m saying is that we don’t know for sure. We weren’t in that room.”

“Well, I do. I do know for sure. After everything he’s been through, he wouldn’t fucking kill himself, Niall!”

“Harry, calm down,” Liam said, touching his arm. Harry flinched away and stood up, looming over the boys.

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! My fiancé is strapped to a fucking hospital bed right now with so many drugs running through his veins that he can’t even stay awake to talk to me! Then they tell me I can’t take him home for 3 fucking days?! And now,” Harry said, pointing to Niall. Niall looked down at his hands, his cheeks turning red. “Now, one of my so-called best friends is trying to imply that he intentionally tried to take his own life! I can promise you, I’m not going to calm down!”

“Harry, that’s not what he’s saying. All he was saying was that we don’t know. And frankly, what he’s saying is making sense.”

Harry looked at Liam with incredulous eyes, anger coursing through him. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“How can you even say that? You know what he’s been through—“

“Yes, I do know!” Liam shouted, standing up. He looked at Harry, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. “I’ve known him all my life, so yes, I do know what he’s been through! I know damn well more than you!”

“Oh, really? Well, please enlighten me, Liam since you know so bloody damn much!”

“His father beat and raped him from the time he was six years old up until he ran away! His mother died when he was five from cancer and his dad started drinking! He had a few years of happiness until he met Alex, then it started all over again! I’ve been stitching him up for years, Harry, so don’t you dare say that he couldn’t have done this to himself!”

Harry grabbed Liam up by his shirt and slammed him into the wall. Zayn jumped up and pulled Harry away, getting in between his friends.

“Guys, stop! Louis wouldn’t want this! You’re the two most important people in his life!” Zayn shouted, looking at both of them. Harry looked at Zayn as the words registered and he took a step back, taking a deep breath. Liam slumped against the wall, shaking his head.

“Harry, please,” Liam pleaded, looking up at him. Harry looked at him, trying to keep his tears at bay. “Harry, I’m not saying that he did indeed hurt himself. But, you have to keep an open mind about it because if he did, he’s going to need you.”

Harry walked over to the waiting room chairs and collapsed into one, putting his head in his hands. His shoulders shook as he began to cry. Liam watched him with sad eyes before taking a seat next to him. He wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders and hugged him tight. Harry turned to him and began sobbing into his chest as Liam rubbed his back in comfort.

~*~

A few days passed by and after talking with multiple doctors and therapists, Louis was being released from the hospital. Harry stood in his hospital room as the doctor was going over Louis’ release. Once the doctor left, Harry began helping Louis get dressed. Louis looked up at Harry, dark circles under his eyes.

“Harry?” Louis asked, biting his lip. Harry met his eyes briefly before looking away as he began collecting Louis’ things. Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Harry, please.”

“Let’s get you home. The doctor said you need to rest,” Harry said, bringing a wheelchair over for Louis to sit in.

“I can walk.”

“It’s hospital policy, Louis. I’ve parked in the back so nobody should see us.”

“Why? Are you embarrassed?” Louis asked, crossing his arms. His wrists were wrapped in thick white bandages. Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“No, Louis. I’m not embarrassed. I just don’t want anybody trying to ask questions and taking pictures,” Harry said, putting the brakes on the wheelchair. Louis watched his boyfriend for a few minutes before giving up and sitting down in the chair. Harry grabbed Louis’ things and set them in his lap before wheeling him through the hospital. Louis kept his head down from lingering eyes.

Harry helped Louis into the car before getting in himself. He pulled out of the hospital parking lot and headed for home. Louis looked over at him, watching him stare out of the windshield. Louis noticed there were dark circles under his eyes, too. Louis reached over and touched his hand.

“Are we going to talk about this?”

“Not right now,” Harry said, keeping his eyes on the road. Louis bit his lip and pulled his hand back. He turned his attention to the window and caught a glimpse of his reflection. His hair was disheveled, his cheeks were sunken in, and his eyes were dark. He looked away, not wanting to face himself.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Louis said, picking at his bandages. Harry sighed and ran a hand through his curls.

“I know, Lou.”

~*~

Once they arrived home, Harry helped Louis get inside. The boys were waiting inside and smiled once they saw Louis.

“Hey, Lou,” Liam greeted, his voice soft and gentle. He walked over and took Louis into his arms, hugging him tight. Louis took a breath and sank into it, feeling the comfort. He greeted the other boys before sitting on the couch. Harry took his time hanging his keys up before joining his friends in the living room. He sat on the arm of the couch and barely listened as Louis chatted with the boys. He kept his attention on a picture of them together on their mantle, a picture taken right after Louis said yes to his proposal.

“We cleaned the studio up for you. We didn’t want you guys to have to worry about that,” Niall said, smiling softly. Louis nodded and smiled gratefully.

“Thank you, Niall,” Louis said. A silence fell over the room as somebody tried to think of what to say. Finally, Louis huffed and ran a hand through his hair. “Just ask me, guys.”

The boys looked at one another and Liam cleared his throat before looking at Louis.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

“What do you remember?”

“I remember going to visit Alex. I remember coming home and locking myself in the studio. After that, everything is kinda foggy.”

“Louis, you were in there for hours. We couldn’t get you to respond to us. All of us tried.”

“What do you want me to say, Liam? I went to a very dark place in my mind. A place I never thought I would go again. Look, I’m fine. I don’t really want to bring all that up again. I’m tired and I’d like to just go to bed,” Louis said, standing up. He leaned over and kissed Harry’s cheek before heading toward his bedroom.

“Lou, can I ask just one question?” Liam asked, biting his lip. Louis sighed and turned around to face his friends. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for it. “Was it your father?”

“Yes.”

Chapter Text

The next morning Louis woke up to the smell of food. His stomach grumbled and he sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked over to Harry’s side of the bed to find that it had never been slept in. Louis bit his lip and slipped out of bed to make his way to the kitchen. He found Harry at the stove, cooking. Louis stared at his bare back, watching the muscles move as he moved around the kitchen. Harry grabbed a couple of plates out of the cabinet and turned to set them on the counter when he saw Louis.

“Oh, you’re up. How do you feel?” Harry asked, turning back to the stove.

“You didn’t sleep in the bed last night.”

“What?” Harry asked, pouring eggs onto the plates. He glanced up at Louis before putting the pan in the sink.

“Why didn’t you come to bed last night?”

“Oh, I stayed up late trying to write for the new album and I fell asleep on the couch. I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind, if that was the real reason.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Harry, I’ve known you for a long time. I know when you’re lying. So, why didn’t you come to bed last night?”

“Like I said,” Harry started as he finished making their plates. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed some juice out, setting it on the counter. Louis walked over to the island and crossed his arms. “I was up late and I fell asleep on the couch. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal.”

“Well, it is when you won’t even look at me.”

Harry sighed as he poured two cups of juice. He sat down at the island and made a point to look at Louis.

“Are you going to eat?”

Louis sat down next to Harry and picked up his fork. He took a deep breath and set his fork back down before turning to Harry. Harry was looking down at his phone as he began eating.

“Harry, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong. Now eat before your food gets cold.”

“I don’t care about the damn food,” Louis said, pushing his plate away. He touched Harry’s hand and bit his lip as he felt Harry tense up under his hand. “I care about us. You didn’t come to bed and now you refuse to look at me. So, something’s wrong.”

Harry kept quiet as he finished his food. He stood up and grabbed his plate, carrying it over to the sink. Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Harold,” Louis began, pinching the bridge of his nose. He stood up and walked over to Harry at the sink. He grabbed his face and turned his face to look at him. “Harry, look at me. Talk to me. Please.”

“I have to go. I’m meeting with Zayn to work on a song with him,” Harry said. He gently grabbed Louis’ hands and removed them from his face. He grabbed his keys off the counter and started walking to the door. Feeling the anger build up, Louis grabbed his glass of juice and threw it at the wall. Harry flinched, hearing it shatter.

“Don’t you fucking walk away from me, Harold! I can take the cold shoulder from everyone else, but not you,” Louis said, breathing heavy. Harry stared at the glass on the floor, biting his lip. Louis groaned and covered his face in his hands, the white bandages poking through his sleeves. Harry finally looked at Louis.

“Do you know we have to replace the carpet in the studio because your blood is all over it? I stayed up all night trying to clean it so you wouldn’t have to see it so forgive me if I seem a little cold to you.”

“Harry…” Louis said, looking up at him. Harry shook his head and grabbed a towel, walking over to clean the glass up. “Harry, stop. I’ll clean it up.”

“I’ve got it,” Harry said, picking up the glass pieces. Harry walked over to the trash can to dispose of the pieces. He took a shaky breath and ran a hand through his curls. “Do you even know how scared I was, waiting outside that door? Do you know what it felt like listening to you scream like that?”

“Harry—“

“No, you don’t because you don’t fucking remember. Well, I do! I do remember! I remember every scream, every shout, every slam! I remember all the blood so sorry if I can’t look at you because that’s all I fucking see!”

Louis flinched at Harry’s words, biting his lip. He walked over to him to try to comfort him, but Harry took a step back, shaking his head.

“You know I’ve spent years trying to save you, trying to protect you and you’re just careless. You’re reckless, Louis, and I don’t know if I can keep trying to save you.”

Harry grabbed his keys and walked out, letting the door slam behind him. Louis stood alone in the kitchen, tears falling from his eyes and wondering how they got to this place.

~*~

A few hours later, Louis sat in the kitchen with his laptop as he talked to his therapist. Louis recounted the argument with Harry as she made her notes. She waited for Louis to finish his story before looking up at him, biting her lip.

“Do you think there’s some truth to what he said? That you’re reckless with your life?”

“No. It’s not like I asked for all of this to happen.”

“Understandable, but you did ask to go visit Alex. Do you think that was reckless?”

“Well, I think it was against my better judgement, but I don’t think it was reckless. Besides, I never asked Harry to save me. He chose to do that himself.”

“Because he loves you. He loves you, and we’re hardwired to protect the people we love from harm. So, imagine how he could feel after all these years of trying to protect you from harm, that he couldn’t protect you from yourself.”

“I didn’t try to kill myself.”

“Maybe not, but you do suffer from a severe case of PTSD, and confronting Alex triggered you. With cases like yours, people often don’t consciously realize that they’ve hurt themselves. Their subconscious takes over. That’s why you don’t remember what happened.”

“So how do I keep it from happening again? How do I keep Harry from leaving?”

“It’s not about keeping him from leaving. It’s more about giving him a reason to want to stay. Why don’t you tell him about your father?”

“I can’t,” Louis said, shaking his head. He started picking at the bandages on his wrist as memories started resurfacing.

“Louis, if you plan to marry him, don’t you think he deserves to know all of you? Including the bad parts?”

“I’ve never told anyone. The only reason Liam knows is because I was placed with his family after I ran away.”

“Maybe that’s the problem. You can’t keep all these bad memories bottled up and expect them to stay dormant for the rest of your life. So, I’m giving you an assignment before our next session. Tell Harry. Actually, it doesn’t even have to be Harry, but it has to be someone. You don’t even have to tell them everything, but you have to open up about a part of it. Do we have a deal?”

Louis took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yes, we have a deal.”

~*~

“Thanks for helping me, mate,” Zayn said, greeting Harry when he walked into the studio. Harry nodded and sat down, biting his lip. Zayn looked at him and sighed. “Well, you look like shit.”

“Yeah, well, I feel like it.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Louis and I had an argument this morning,” Harry said, rubbing his face with his hands. He took a deep breath and looked at Zayn, feeling the tears well up. “I said some things I didn’t mean and I think I hurt him.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him he was reckless and careless with his life, and that I’m not sure if I can keep saving him.”

“Harry…” Zayn sighed, shaking his head. He bit his lip and looked at his friend, watching his shoulders shake from crying. “Mate, he’s just coming off of a 72-hour hold. Are you trying to send him back?”

“No, Zayn. But, he kept pushing and asking why I didn’t sleep in the bed last night and why I won’t look at him. Then I tried to leave to get some space and he threw a glass at the wall. I was standing there looking at the glass all over the floor and everything came back. I was angry.”

“Harry, how do you think he feels? He had an episode and instead of everyone being there for him, we’re all walking on eggshells around him. The one person he thought he could turn to is you, and you’ve done the same thing.”

Harry wiped his eyes and took a shaky breath, nodding his head. He ran a hand through his curls and sighed.

“So, how do I make it right?”

~*~

Dusk began to approach as Harry walked into the house. He hung his keys up and slipped his shoes off. He called out for Louis and when he didn’t get a response, he walked through the house to search for him. Harry started walking down the hallway when he noticed the recording light turned on for the studio. He approached the door as Louis’ voice filled his ears.

I tried to talk to my piano. I tried to talk to my guitar. I talked to my imagination, confided into alcohol. I tried and tried and tried some more, told secrets ’til my voice was sore. I’m tired of empty conversation ‘cause no one hears me anymore.

A hundred million stories and a hundred million songs, I feel stupid when I sing ‘cause nobody’s listening to me. Nobody’s listening. I talked to shooting stars, but they always get it wrong. I feel stupid when I pray so why am I praying anyway if nobody’s listening?

Anyone? Please send me anyone. Lord, is there anyone? I need someone. Oh, anyone? Please send me anyone. Lord, is there anyone? I need someone…

Harry slid down the wall to the floor, tears falling down his cheeks as guilt swirled around him. What has he done?

I used to crave the world’s attention. I think I cried too many times. I just need some more affection, anything to get me by.

Louis went into the chorus again, tears falling onto his sheet music. Harry covered his mouth to keep the sobs from coming out as he listened to the pain in Louis’ voice.

A hundred million stories and a hundred million songs. I feel stupid when I sing. Nobody’s listening to me. Nobody’s listening.

Louis set his guitar down and took a deep breath. He put his hands together and pressed them to his lips, sending a silent prayer. Harry got to his feet and entered the studio. Louis looked up as he heard the door open. Harry walked over to him and knelt down in front of him. He took a deep breath and looked up into his lover’s sad eyes.

“Do you really think nobody listens to you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Louis said, shrugging his shoulders. Louis’ breath hitched when Harry reached up and touched his cheek, wiping his tears away. Louis closed his eyes and leaned into his touch.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel that way,” Harry said, taking Louis’ face into his hands. Harry leaned forward and put their heads together. Tears fell from Louis’ eyes and landed into his lap, soaking into his jeans. Harry leaned in and kissed him softly. Louis reveled in the kiss before pulling away, shaking his head.

“You don’t have to placate me, Harry. I know I’m a mess.”

“Nobody is trying to placate you,” Harry said, stroking his cheek. He kissed his nose softly before smiling a little. “And yes, you are a mess. But, you’re my mess and it’s my job to help you. So, let me help you.”

Louis stared into Harry’s eyes, looking for any signs of doubt. He nodded his head and leaned in, kissing him softly. Harry hummed against his lips and deepened the kiss as he pushed Louis back onto the couch. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, feeling the weight of him on top of him as their tongues tangled together.

Harry pressed against him as he pulled away from the kiss and latched onto Louis’ neck. Louis tilted his head back and moaned softly, feeling Harry’s teeth scrape against his skin. Louis felt his body heat up as Harry’s hands roamed over it, his pants tightening up. Harry slid down his body and unzipped his pants, sliding them down his legs. He pushed his shirt up and placed soft kisses along his waistline, gently nipping at the skin.

Louis’ breath came in short bursts. He looked down at Harry and locked eyes with him as he felt wet warmth surround him. Louis’ jaw dropped as he felt Harry take him in. He threw his head back and moaned loud as Harry bobbed his head up and down, swirling his tongue around him. Harry pulled away and licked his lips before kneeling up to undo his pants. Louis leaned up on his elbows and looked up at him with heavy-lidded eyes.

Harry pulled his pants down and leaned forward to kiss Louis. Louis wrapped his arms and legs around Harry and gasped, feeling Harry push into him. Harry pushed into him until his hips were pressed against Louis’ cheeks, filling him up.

“Tell me what you want,” Harry whispered, grinding his hips against Louis’ cheeks. Louis felt him press against his spot and he relaxed back into the couch, throwing his head back.

“Fuck me.”

Harry gripped Louis’ hips as he pulled out and thrust back in, hitting that spot again. Louis gripped the arm of the couch and arched his back, moaning loud. Harry latched onto his neck again and began a steady pace, thrusting in hard and fast.

“H-Harry…”

Harry moaned in response, sucking on his neck. Louis’ jaw dropped and stars blurred his vision as he felt his spot get hit again and again. Harry gripped the back of Louis’ thighs and pressed them against his chest, folding him in half. Harry pulled away from Louis’ neck and moaned loud, fucking him hard and quick. The couch bounced as Harry drilled into him, the springs squeaking against the weight of their bodies.

“Shit, shit, shit! Oh, fuck!” Louis shouted, reaching his climax. Harry quickened his pace as he chased his own orgasm, getting lost in the sound of Louis’ cries. As he came, he realized in that moment that’s where he belonged.

~*~

“I see you and Harry made up,” Zayn said, pointing to the hickey on Louis’ neck. Louis smiled softly and shook his head. They were at Zayn’s and they were working on songs for the new album.

“I wouldn’t say we totally made up, but he did sleep in the bed last night. There’s just some things we still need to talk about,” Louis said, scribbling on some sheet music.

“Then why are you here?”

“What do you mean? We’re behind on our album. We need to get it finished and you asked for my help.”

“The album can wait. The more time goes by without you talking things out, the harder it’s gonna be when you finally do.”

“You sound like my therapist,” Louis said, looking at him.

“Well, then maybe you need to listen.”

“It’s just…” Louis sighed, biting his lip. He ran a hand through his messy hair and began picking at his bandages. “I don’t even know where to start, or how to bring it up.”

Zayn reached over and grabbed Louis’ hand, stopping him. Louis looked over at his friend and bit his lip.

“Do what you do best. Sing to him.”

~*~

Louis arrived home shortly after to find Harry in the living room, watching TV. Harry looked up from the TV and smiled softly. Louis returned his smile and made his way over to the couch, sitting beside him.

“How was your day with Zayn?” Harry asked, turning the volume down. Louis shrugged and leaned into the couch, sighing.

“It was okay. We didn’t get much done, though.”

“Maybe we can all get together sometime this week and work on it together.”

“There’s um, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about, but I don’t know how,” Louis said, turning toward him. Harry nodded and reached for his hand, tangling their fingers together.

“Louis, whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”

“I want to find my father.”

Harry’s eyes widened and he sat up straighter. He shook his head and cleared his throat, feeling at a loss for words.

“You what?”

“Look, just hear me out, okay?” Louis asked, holding his hands up. He didn’t want to cause a fight, but he wanted to make Harry understand. “I’ve gone practically my whole life without talking about what happened with him. I’ve buried it so deep that if I don’t deal with it, it’s going to end up killing me.”

“I don’t understand how wanting to find him is going to help that. You’re working with a therapist. She’s supposed to help you. I’m here, too. You can talk to me about it.”

“Talking about it isn’t going to make it go away. It’s going to keep bringing it to the surface just to sink back down again. I can’t live like that, Harry.”

“I’m still not understanding.”

“I have to confront him. That’s how I dealt with Alex, by confronting him. I want him, no, I need him to see that he can’t hurt me anymore. So, I had Paul ask around.”

“Oh, okay. So you’ve already decided this and you’re just telling me now?”

“Harry, please. I don’t want to fight. But, I don’t think I can move on if I don’t have some type of closure. I never got any with my mother. I need to do this, and I’d like you to support me.”

“Louis, I… I don’t know,” Harry said, running a hand through his curls. He looked at Louis and sighed. He was silent as he thought about what was being asked of him. He looked up at the muted TV and stared at it for a few minutes before taking a deep breath and looking back at Louis. “So, did Paul find him?”

~*~

A week passed by and Harry was hanging out with the boys while Louis was with his therapist. They were planning for a show that weekend and they were trying to decide what to sing.

“I think we should write a song for Louis.”

“Of course you do.”

“No, Zayn. Just listen. It’s not like that. Right now, he’s telling his therapist that he found his father and plans to confront him. He’s never even talked to me about him yet and to see him like that because of that man, it scared the hell out of me. But, he wants my support on this and I don’t want to let him down,” Harry explained, biting his lip. Zayn nodded and sat back on the couch, looking at him.

“Okay. So, what did you have in mind?”

“I know the title, and I’ve been working on the guitar a little bit. I just haven’t found the words.”

“Okay,” Liam said, looking away from the TV. He grabbed his beer and took a drink before grabbing some sheet music from the drawer on the coffee table. “What does it sound like?”

Harry stood up and grabbed his guitar before sitting on the edge of the couch. He played a few chords and stopped, looking at them for approval. Niall grabbed another guitar and sat next to Harry.

“Play it again,” Niall said, tuning his guitar. Harry started playing again as Niall listened. Niall bit his lip as he caught onto the rhythm and joined in. Not long after, they had the music finished. All that was needed were the lyrics.

~*~

“You ready for this?” Harry asked, looking at Louis through their dressing room mirror. Louis styled his hair and nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Yes, and no. I’m just glad you’re here with me,” Louis said, smiling gratefully at his boyfriend. A knock sounded on the door, informing them it was time. Louis walked over to the door and went to open it before Harry stopped him, grabbing his arm.
“Louis, wait. There’s something I need to know before we go out there.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“What did Alex say to you when you went to visit him?”

“What?”

“Louis, I know you don’t want to talk about it. But, I’d like to know what he said to you. He messed you up, babe. I need to know how to protect you,” Harry said, grabbing his hand. Louis ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He looked down and ran a finger over the scar from his stitches.

“He started crying. Like, really crying. It was different. He was strapped to that chair, and I was standing tall in front of him. I think it drove him crazy,” Louis said, walking over to sit on the couch. Harry leaned against the vanity and crossed his arms, listening. Louis looked up at Harry and bit his lip. “I taunted him, talking about how insecure he was so that was why he abused me like he did. He just lost it. He screamed and tears just started pouring from his eyes. He kept apologizing, and when he told me why he started acting the way he did, it made sense. Like, I should have figured it out years ago.”

“What was his reason?”

“He knew I’d be famous one day. He knew that I’d have all that I have now. He sat in that bar and watched people fawn over me and hit on me. It drove him crazy. He asked me to quit bartending, but he would never tell me why. Harry, I was so unfair to him.”

“You can’t be serious,” Harry said, letting out an incredulous laugh. He looked at Louis and shook his head. “That man beat you.”

“Yes, because of something I did. I defied him. I kept bartending and I never turned those men away that hit on me. I just smiled and kept on, and he sat there and watched it all. Put yourself in his shoes for one minute. We’re dating, and I’m bartending. You’re at the end of the bar and you’re watching guys flirt with me and I’m flirting back.”

“Yeah, I’d be jealous. But, I wouldn’t ask you to quit your job or beat you. I still don’t see where he’s coming from. He can’t justify what he did, Lou. Abuse can’t be justified.”

“Harry, you don’t understand. You don’t understand because you were one of those guys.”

“What?” Harry asked, his eyes growing wide. Louis stood up and started pacing, biting his lip. “How could you even say that?”

“Harry, I love you. You know I do. You’re it for me, but you were one of those guys who came into my bar and flirted with me. Alex watched you.”

“You can’t be serious right now, Louis. You’re justifying why he fucking beat you! He almost killed you!”

“I know what he did!” Louis shouted, turning to look at him. He groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. “I know exactly what he did. I’m not justifying anything that he did, okay? I know he was wrong and he needs to pay for what he did. All I’m saying is that I understand why he did it.”

Harry looked away from him and huffed a few times. He fisted his curls and sighed, crossing his arms.

“Okay. I guess it’s not that hard to see the reasoning behind his attacks. Is that why you trashed our studio? Were you feeling guilty or something?”

“No, I wasn’t feeling guilty. I was angry, Harry. Furious even.”

“Okay. But, why?”

“Because no matter how many times he hit me or how much pain he inflicted, I was still in love with him. That makes me just as sick as he was.”

“No, Lou, it doesn’t. He was your first relationship. He was the only thing you knew. He messed you up and I know he’s not the only man in your life who’s done this to you.”

“Harry, I don’t want to talk about him,” Louis said, shaking his head. He turned away from him and clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms.

“Louis, if we’re going to be married, you need to open up to me. You need to tell me everything. I know next to nothing about your childhood. Why is that?”

“Because I hated it!” Louis shouted, turning to him again. His hands flew to his hair and he pulled on it, messing it up. “I hated who I was as a child! I hated going through what I went through. My father was an evil man and he should be rotting in hell right now!”

“Is that why you stayed with Alex? Because he reminded you of your father?”

“God, you are such an inconsiderate asshole! You have no idea!”

“I’m trying to fucking find out, Louis! Dammit! I’m trying here, can’t you fucking see that? I love you so damn much, but I can’t love you properly if you don’t let me in!”

“I don’t want to let you in!” Louis shouted, hitting Harry in the chest. Harry grunted and closed his eyes as Louis began to cry and punch him in the chest more. Soon after, Louis’ adrenaline faded and all that was left was a sad, crying boy. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and held him as he cried.

“I’m so s-sorry, Harry. I l-love you so much. Please forgive me,” Louis sobbed, burying his face in Harry’s throbbing chest. Harry shook his head and only held Louis tighter, letting him cry.

“Don’t apologize, Louis. You don’t need to talk about your father. If it upsets you this bad, I don’t want to know. I don’t need to know, okay? I love you so much, baby. So, so much.”

~*~

Weeks passed by and their third album was released, and they were preparing for another tour. Harry and Louis never spoke of Louis’ meltdown at their last show, and Louis seemed to get better. He thrust himself into recording, wedding planning, and everything he could so he wouldn’t have to think about it.

After talking it through with his therapist, Louis arranged a private solo event. The boys would be there for support, but it would be his songs. After arguing with Simon for days about this, he eventually gave in and ordered extra security. All the tickets were purchased, except for two.

Two seats in the very front row were reserved per Louis’ demand. Through many obstacles, Louis managed to track down his father and gave a false pretense as to why he wanted his father there. He had his lawyers call the prison and with great reluctance as well as a hefty donation, the prison agreed to Louis’ request. The last two seats were reserved for Troy Austin and Alex Pettyfer.

Chapter Text

On the day of the concert, Louis was backstage with his boys. He was goofing around and acting normal, but inside, he was screaming. Every now and again he would go quiet and listen as the arena grew louder with each fan that took their seat. Paul came backstage and notified that Troy and Alex were seated and that Alex was restrained. Louis thanked Paul and retreated to his dressing room to get ready.

“Is there anything you need from me?” Harry asked, watching Louis pace the floor. Louis took a few deep breaths and looked up at him. Louis bit his lip and started pacing again, absently rubbing the scar on his wrist.

“Oh, God. This was such a bad idea. I shouldn’t have done this,” Louis said, shaking his head. Harry walked over and grabbed his hands, tangling their fingers together.

“Listen to me. You are Louis Tomlinson, a famous member of the worldwide band One Direction. Despite everything life has handed you, all of your dreams have come true because you never gave up. You fought because you deserve this. Now, I know it’s going to be hard to see them, but you can do it because they can’t hurt you anymore. We are going to be with you every step of the way. You’ve got this,” Harry said, kissing him softly. Louis relaxed into the kiss, tangling their tongues together. Harry brought his hands up and ran them through Louis’ hair, pulling gently.

Louis groaned softly and ran his hands up Harry’s chest, feeling the muscles ripple underneath his touch. Harry deepened the kiss, taking Louis’ bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it softly. He ran his hands down Louis’ body to his thighs and gripped them tight, scooping him up. Louis wrapped his arms and legs around Harry and moaned into his mouth. Harry carried him and set him down on the vanity.

Harry pulled away from the kiss, his lips swollen from the kiss. He quickly undid their pants and leaned in, kissing Louis on the neck. Louis fisted his curls and held his head in place, throwing his head back as he felt Harry’s teeth scrape against his skin.

“I love you,” Harry whispered, wrapping a strong arm around Louis’ waist. Louis hummed in response, pulling him closer. Harry positioned himself and pushed deep into Louis, groaning softly. Louis gripped the side of the vanity as Harry started to fuck him.

“I l-love you, too.”

~*~

“Hello, London!” Louis shouted, waving to the mass crowd as he walked onto the stage. The boys followed behind him, waving to the crowd as well. Louis walked over to the piano that was placed at center stage and looked around the arena, smiling. He felt two sets of eyes on him, but he didn’t dare look at them. Not yet.

“I know that you’re all expecting the other boys to be singing as well, but it’s just me today. I hope that’s alright,” Louis said, hearing the thousands of screams in return. Louis smiled and felt his heart swell with the love and devotion of his fans.

“Now, you all know how open I’ve been with you about my journey and how I’ve gotten to where I am today. Well, I haven’t been entirely open about everything and I’d like to take the time to change that. I want to tell you a story.”

Louis walked over to grab a stool before returning to center stage. He sat on the stool and took a deep breath. He looked over at the boys and bit his lip. They all grabbed a stool and joined Louis, gathering around him in support. Louis gave Harry one last look before turning back to the crowd.

“It’s not a good story, but it’s a story that I hold close to my heart. It’s about a little boy. We’ll call him William.”

Harry looked at the front row, his eyes settling on Alex. He smirked a little, watching as Alex glared up at him. The crowd settled as Louis continued.

“William’s mother passed away from cancer when he was about five years old, leaving behind a faithful husband and two young children. The death of William’s mother was so Earth-shattering for his family that it changed the family completely. William’s father began to drink, but he was able to hide it. At first.”

Harry finally turned his attention to Troy, taking in his appearance. His stomach was large from all the drinking, he had a permanent five o’clock shadow, and his hands were curled into fists. His cheeks were turning red the angrier he became as he listened to Louis.

“Soon, William’s father couldn’t hide the drinking anymore. Despite that, William strived to make his father proud. He learned how to play football and even won a trophy to try to make his father happy. But as the years went by, something in William changed.”

Louis glanced at Harry and took a steadying breath as Harry nodded to him in encouragement. He held his hand out for Louis to take and Louis took it gratefully, squeezing it tight. Louis sat straighter and kept his eyes straight ahead.

“William’s father soon realized what his little boy was going to grow up to be and he didn’t like that. He needed William to stay exactly how he was so he took matters into his own hands. He decided he needed to remind William what boys are supposed to be like. So, he started hitting William.”

Louis paused and closed his eyes, ignoring the urge to pick at his scars. He took a deep breath and pushed through.

“William didn’t understand why his father was being so mean to him even though he’d done everything he could to make his father proud. He loved his father so much and he didn’t know what to do. A few years passed and…” Louis trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose to hold back his tears. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, waiting. He bit his lip and looked back at the crowd, his eyes wet with tears.

“A few years passed and I was finally able to escape. I ran away and eventually, I got better. I’ve never told that story to anyone because it messed me up a lot inside. I was ashamed of my past and I didn’t want anyone to know about it. But, in order for me to be truly happy, I have to embrace my past. It’s a part of me and it’s made me who I am today.”

Louis stood up and walked over to the piano, kissing Harry’s cheek as he passed. He sat down and placed his microphone in its stand before playing a few keys. He cleared his throat and finally looked at his father. Troy was absolutely seething, his eyes locked on Louis.

“This first song is dedicated to my father,” Louis said as he began to play.

Ooh, ooh. Ooh, ooh. I will not make the same mistakes that you did. I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard. I’ve learned the hard way to never let it get that far.

Because of you, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk. Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me. Because of you, I am afraid.

I lose my way and it’s not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry because I know that’s weakness in your eyes. I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life. My heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t even whole to start with.

Louis closed his eyes as he went into the chorus again, his fingers flowing over the piano keys. Harry stood by his side and kept his eyes on Troy as the anger was becoming more evident on his face. Troy kept his eyes locked on his son, furious that he would dare speak about their life and paint him to be a bad guy. In his eyes, he was just a father with a bastard of a son who needed to be kept in check.

I watched you die. I heard you cry every night in your sleep. I was so young. You should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain. And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing!

Because of you, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk. Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt. Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you, I don’t know how to let anyone else in. Because of you, I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty. Because of you, I am afraid.

Louis stopped playing just as the crowd went wild, screaming and clapping. Louis nodded in thanks and clenched his fists, hoping nobody would see them shaking. Harry walked up behind Louis and squeezed his shoulders.

“You did great.”

“Harry, I can’t stop shaking,” Louis whispered, looking up at him. Harry bit his lip and sat next to him on the piano stool. He grabbed his hands and held them tight as looked into his lover’s eyes.

“Remember what I said earlier? You’re Louis Tomlinson. No matter what happens today, I love you so much and I’m so proud of you.”

“You are?” Louis asked, staring into Harry’s eyes. Harry smiled and nodded, leaning in to kiss him softly. The crowd cheered them on, causing Louis to laugh against Harry’s lips. Harry pulled away and kissed his hands before letting them go.

“See? No more shaking.”

Louis looked over to see both Alex and Troy glaring up at him. He took a breath and flashed them a smile. It wasn’t just an ordinary smile, either. Louis flashed his best smile, his happy smile, and his eyes crinkled at the corners. He nodded to them before walking over to grab his guitar. He grabbed it along with a stool and sat down right in front of them. He took a deep breath and looked down at them as he began to play.

Well, you almost had me fooled. Told me that I was nothing without you. Oh, and after everything you’ve done, I can thank you for how strong I have become.

‘Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell. I had to learn how to fight for myself and we both know all the truth I could tell. I’ll just say this is ‘I wish you farewell’

I hope you’re somewhere praying, praying. I hope your soul is changing, changing. I hope you find your peace falling on your knees, praying.

I’m proud of who I am. No more monsters, I can breathe again. And you said that I was done. Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come. ‘Cause I can make it on my own and I don’t need you. I found a strength I’ve never known. ‘Cause I’ve been thrown out, I’ve been burned. When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name.

Harry watched as Louis sang to his demons. He watched the crowd sit silently as Louis told his story. He started biting his nails, watching how the anger kept building inside the two attackers. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he listened to his lover sing.

Sometimes I pray for you at night and someday, maybe you’ll see the light.

The boys announced a quick intermission and they followed Louis backstage. The boys congratulated him with pats on the backs, Louis smiling softly after each one. Harry walked over and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tight.

“You’re doing great, baby. I’m so proud.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, pulling away from the hug. He grabbed a bottle of water and took a drink. Harry tilted his head and bit his lip, looking at him.

“What’s on your mind?”

“There’s a song I want to sing, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why? What song is it?”

“It’s a song I wrote about my mother,” Louis said, setting the water down. He bit his lip and crossed his arms. “It’s the very first song I’ve ever written.”

“Sing it, baby. I’d love to hear it.”

“I just… It could send him off the deep end.”

“So? This show is about you and how far you’ve come. Who cares what he thinks?”

“If my father loved anything in the world, it was my mother. I remember how he doted on her and that was before she got sick. I don’t remember a whole lot about her being sick because she didn’t want me and Lottie to see her like that, but I remember my father never left her side. He was there when she passed away.”

“That still doesn’t excuse what he did to you, Lou. Don’t let him have any power over you. If you want to sing a song to your mother, then do it.”

Louis stared at Harry and felt the unwavering faith Harry held for him. He smiled softly, tearing up.

“I wish you could have met her. She’d have loved you.”

“I would have loved her, too,” Harry said, kissing him softly. He cupped his face with his hands and kissed him one more time. “I’ll be right next to you, okay? You don’t have to do this alone.”

~*~

A few minutes later, Louis walked back onto the stage with the boys. The crew moved his piano to center stage and Louis took a seat. Harry walked over and sat next to him, rubbing his back. Louis smiled at him and nodded, running his fingers over the keys.

“This is a song I hold near and dear to my heart. I don’t remember much about my mother, but I do remember her telling me to always follow my dreams no matter how big or small. I wrote this in high school when I really started to get into music and realized this was what I wanted to do. So, this one’s for you, Mum.”

It’s been a minute since I called you just to hear the answer phone. Yeah, I know you that won’t get this, but I’ll leave a message so I’m not alone. This morning, I woke up still dreaming with memories playing through my head. You’ll never know how much I miss you. The day that they took you, I wish it was me instead.

But you once told me don’t give up, you can do it day by day. Diamonds, they don’t turn to dust or fade away. So I will keep you day and night, here until the day I die. I’ll be living one life for the two of us. I will be the best of me, always keep you next to me. I’ll be living one life for the two of us.

Even when I’m on my own, I know I won’t be alone. Tattooed on my heart are the words of your favorite song. I know you’ll be looking down. Swear I’m gonna make you proud. I’ll be living one life for the two of us. One life for the two of us.

I can feel your blood run through me. You’re written in my DNA. Looking back in every mirror, I know you’ll be waiting. I’ll see you again.

Troy sat in his seat staring up at his son, seething. His knuckles were white from how hard he had his fists clenched and his chest kept rising and falling rapidly with every angry breath he took.

I promised you I’d do this. So all of this is all for you. Oh, I swear to God you’re living through everything I’ll ever do.

Louis went into the final chorus and closed his eyes, feeling a weight lifting from his shoulders. As he neared the end of the song, he opened his eyes and looked up, singing to his mother.

We’ll end just like we started. Just you and me and no one else. I will hold you where my heart is. One life for the two of us.

Harry seized Louis by the waist and kissed him deeply, possibly deeper than he ever had. Louis gently took Harry’s cheeks in his pixie hands and returned the kiss with as much passion as he could. The arena erupted into applause, their hearts and souls moved by the song.

“I love you,” Harry whispered against his lips, putting their heads together. Louis closed his eyes and placed a hand on Harry’s chest, feeling his heart beat.

“I’ve loved you from the start, Harry. Always know that,” Louis whispered, kissing him again. The people around them faded and for a moment, it was just Louis and Harry.

“I know this show is all about you, but can we sing a song together? There’s a song the boys and I wrote, and I want the world to hear it,” Harry said, gripping Louis’ hands tight in his. Louis nodded and Harry stood, pulling Louis to his feet. He directed Louis to a stool and ran to the boys.

“We’re singing the song.”

The boys smiled and followed Harry to the stage, Niall carrying his guitar. They gathered on either side of Louis, keeping him in the middle. Harry stood next to him and smiled at him before turning to the crowd.

“A few weeks ago, Louis had a meltdown,” Harry started, glancing at Louis. Louis bit his lip and nodded, letting Harry continue. “He locked himself in our studio and completely trashed it. I was scared. I mean, he’s my fiancé and I’ve never seen him like that before. It scared me like you wouldn’t believe. There was nothing I could do to help him. He wouldn’t let me in. He wouldn’t let anyone in and I didn’t know if he was hurt or if he was even okay. No… I knew he wasn’t okay. Of course, he wasn’t. It was on that day that I vowed to do whatever it took to help him through the dark so he never had to feel that way again.”

On Harry’s cue, Niall began to play the guitar. Liam cleared his throat and looked at Louis, smiling as he began to sing.

You tell me that you’re sad and lost your way. You tell me that your tears are here to stay, but I know you were only hiding and I just wanna see you. You tell me that you’re hurt and you’re in pain and I can see your head is held in shame, but I just wanna see you smile again. See you smile again.

But, don’t burn out. Even if you scream and shout, it will come back to you and I’ll be here for you.

Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love. And I would hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough. When the night is coming down on you, we will find a way… Through the dark.

I wish that I could take you to the star. I’d never let you fall and break your heart and if you wanna cry and fall apart, I’ll be there to hold you.

You tell me that you heard it’s all in vain, but I can see your heart can love again. I remember you laughing so let’s just laugh again.


But, don’t burn out. Even if you scream and shout, it will come back to you… Back to you.

Louis stared at his friends, his very best friends, as silent tears of gratitude fell down his cheeks. His heart was racing, his hands were shaking and he couldn’t do anything but smile. He locked eyes on Harry and his heart simply swelled with love. Zayn placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. Louis looked up at him and mouthed three little words.

You don’t need, you don’t need to worry and you will see it’s easy to be loved. I know you wanna be loved.

Oh, I will carry you over fire and water for your love.

The crowd caught onto the chorus and began singing with them. Louis let out a tiny sob and covered his face with his hands as his heart and soul filled with nothing but love.

Once the song ended and the crowd erupted into cheers, the boys enveloped Louis in a hug. Louis laughed softly, wiping the tears away. As they all pulled back, Louis caught Harry’s hand and pulled him close. Louis rested a hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes.

“I’m ready to go home. How about you?”

“That sounds great.”

Louis grabbed a microphone and stood in the middle of center stage. He looked out at the crowd and waved.

“I want to thank you all for coming out tonight, to hear my story. I know everybody says this, but you truly are the best fans in the world. None of this would have ever happened if you all hadn’t believed in us, so thank you.”

The boys all grasped hands and held them high into the air as they took a bow, reveling in the applause. As they came back up, they smiled and waved one last time. The boys pushed Louis to the front and clapped with the crowd as Louis took another bow.

Something flashed and caught Harry’s attention. He looked over at Troy as he pulled something from behind his back. His eyes widened and he rushed to Louis, grabbing him by the arm. Harry shouted and pushed Louis behind him just as the shot rang out. Louis felt as if everything was in slow motion as he watched Harry hit the floor with a thud. Screams rang out and everyone started running, but all Louis could focus on was the blood. So much blood.

Chapter Text

Everything was chaos. People screaming. People running. Louis fell to his knees beside Harry and covered the hole in his body with his small hands, blood seeping through his fingers. He vaguely registered the tears mixing with the blood on his hands.

“Louis, we have to get him out of here!” Liam shouted, looking around frantically. Liam grabbed Louis by the shoulders, but Louis shrugged him off.

“I c-can’t move my hands. I have to keep pressure or he’s gonna bleed out!”

Liam knelt beside Louis and put his hands over Louis’ to help him. He looked down at his unconscious friend and tears welled up. Liam shook his head and looked up at his friends.

“Someone grab a towel, anything to help with the blood. And somebody call a fucking ambulance!”

Minutes went by, but to Louis, it felt like years. Louis kept calling Harry’s name, but Harry lay motionless on the stage floor. Louis screamed out, feeling his chest tighten with every minute that passed by.

“L-Louis?” Harry choked out, coughing up blood. Louis breathed a sigh of relief and watched his lover’s eyes open.

“Harry, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

“I l-love you.”

“No, don’t do that. I’ve got you. You’re going to be fine.”

Harry coughed some more, feeling as if his insides were on fire. He couldn’t get the air he needed. It felt as if he was drowning. Harry slowly reached up and touched Louis’ face with a bloody hand.

“L-Look at me.”

Louis leaned into his hand and looked at his boyfriend, tears slowly falling down his cheeks. Harry smiled a little and closed his eyes, his hand falling from Louis’ cheek. Louis’ eyes widened as he watched the color fade from Harry’s cheeks.

“H-Harry, no. Harry, wake up!”

~*~

Everything was blindingly white and cold. Louis sat in a single chair, staring at the wall as the world moved around him. Now and again, he saw flashes of blue as nurses ran up and down the halls. The side of the hospital he was in had been locked down and Louis sat alone, waiting.

“Mr. Tomlinson?”

Louis came back into focus as a doctor stood over him, looking down at him. Louis stood up quickly and put his bloody hands to his lips, waiting for the news.

“Please tell me he’s alive,” Louis whispered. His chest rose and fell with every painstaking breath. The doctor gestured to the chair Louis was occupying and sat next to it. Louis fell into the chair, panic setting in. “Doctor, please tell me he’s alive.”

“There was a lot of damage. The bullet entered his chest and hit a lung before exiting his back. The fact that it went through was the good news.”

Louis gripped his hands tight to keep them from shaking as he tried to focus on what the doctor was saying.

“Mr. Styles coded on the table a few times during the surgery. He started getting too unstable for us to continue, so we had to close him up.”

“You what?” Louis asked, staring at the doctor. Louis clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. “Why the fuck would you stop?”

“Mr. Tomlinson, please. If we kept going, he wouldn’t have made it off the table. But, because we stopped when we did, we were able to put him on a ventilator. If he holds on for the next 24 hours, I will go back in and finish the surgery.”

“So, he’s a-alive?”

“Yes, he’s alive. Before we go any further, I need to know what you want to do if anything were to happen. You’re his next of kin, correct?”

“I, what?” Louis asked, shaking his head. He ran a bloody hand through his hair. “I, no. His mum is, but she’s in Cheshire. I don’t… I haven’t told her yet.”

“Okay. Why don’t you get a hold of her? If she chooses to defer all the decisions to you, we’ll take care of the paperwork.”

Louis nodded absently and pulled his phone out. The doctor reached out and placed a hand on Louis’ arm.

“Mr. Tomlinson, would you like to change your clothes? We have a lost and found with clothes to choose from.”

Louis looked down at his bloody clothes and nodded slowly. The doctor squeezed his shoulder and called a nurse over.

“I’m gonna have a nurse show you, okay? I’m going to be on-call tonight so if anything changes with Mr. Styles, I’ll be in the hospital.”

“Can I see him?” Louis asked, looking at him. The doctor bit his lip and nodded.

“Go get cleaned up and I’ll have someone bring you up to the ICU.”

~*~

So many wires. So many tubes. Louis stood frozen at the door as he stared at his fiancé. His chest was rising and falling with the help of a machine, the steady beeping ringing in his ears. Louis slowly walked over to the bed and reached out to him. He stopped himself and looked up at the nurse.

“Can I touch him?”

The nurse nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her to give them some privacy. Louis reached out and slowly touched his cheek. He breathed a sigh of relief at the warmth beneath his touch.

“Oh, Harry… You have to hold on, okay? The doctor said to hold on for 24 hours and you’ll be fixed. Hold on for me, okay?”

Louis spoke in soft tones, gently running his hand through Harry’s curls. He looked up when he heard the door slide open and watched a nurse check him over.

“Is he okay?”

“Yes, he seems to be holding steady. I’ll be doing routine checks every 30 minutes.”

“Hear that, Hazza?” Louis whispered, looking back down at him. He forced a smile and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “You’re doing just fine. We can do this.”

“Mr. Tomlinson, would you like a cot? I can have one brought in if you’d like to stay with him tonight.”

Louis looked up at the nurse and nodded, smiling gratefully. The nurse wrote something down in Harry’s chart and left the room, leaving them alone again.

~*~

“Louis? Louis, honey, wake up.”

Louis jumped awake and looked around, feeling disoriented. He rubbed his eyes and looked up to see Harry’s mother standing beside him. Her eyes had dark circles, her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing pajamas.

“Oh, Anne,” Louis sniffled, his eyes instantly tearing up at the sight of her. He sat up and Anne sat next to him. She held her arms out and Louis leaned in, hugging her tight. She rubbed his back as he started to cry. “A-Anne, I’m so s-sorry!”

“Hush now, Louis. It’s alright. None of this is your fault.”

“But, it was my f-father that did this to him.”

“Louis, now you listen to me,” Anne said, barely holding it together. She pulled away and forced Louis to look at her. She touched his cheek the same way Harry did and Louis felt a stab in his heart from the feeling. “It doesn’t matter who it was. Harry would have done the same thing over and over. Oh, baby, he loves you so much. Anyone can see that.”

“I just…” Louis trailed off, looking over at Harry. He bit his lip and watched the machines breathe for him. “How is he going to forgive me for this?”

“Forgive you for what, Lou? There’s nothing to forgive you for.”

“Anne, we barely got through when I got hurt. Now here we are a few weeks later and he’s lying in a hospital bed with machines hooked up to him so he can breathe. Those machines are the only thing keeping him alive right now.”

“No, Louis. It’s not the only thing.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked, looking up at her. She smiled softly and leaned in, kissing his head.

“You’re keeping him alive. You just don’t know how truly loved you are, do you?”

Louis looked down at his hands, traces of blood still lingering underneath his nails. Anne grabbed his hands and squeezed them tight.

“Louis, Harry worships you. Every time we talk or visit, he’s always talking about you. He never does anything that he thinks will make you upset. The only reason he acted the way he did after what happened to you was because he was scared. He acted out in fear because he thought he was going to lose you. When you were in the hospital, he never went home. He sat in that hospital outside your room for 3 days. He wouldn’t leave your side then and he’s not going to now.”

Louis nodded and hugged Anne again, relieved to have some part of Harry in his arms. She kissed his head again and rubbed his back just as the door slid open.

“You must be Mrs. Styles.”

“It’s Mrs. Twist, but yes. I’m Harry’s mother,” Anne said, pulling away from Louis to look at the doctor.

“I can see where Mr. Styles gets his looks,” The doctor said, smiling softly at her. Louis cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow. The doctor caught Louis’ eye and turned his attention to Harry. “So, we’re going to get him prepped soon to go back to surgery. There are just some things I would like to discuss before he goes back.”

“Okay.”

“If for some reason, something happens while in surgery, what life-saving measures would you like us to take?”

“I want you to do everything you can. Harry would want you to do everything you could to save him and then some more.”

The doctor nodded and wrote some things down in his chart. He checked Harry once more then looked at Louis and Anne.

“Okay, we’ll be taking him to surgery soon. You’re welcome to stay in here until we take him.”

The doctor left, closing the door behind him. Louis and Anne stood up and walked over to Harry to talk to him before he left.

~*~

Hours ticked by as Louis and Anne sat side by side, waiting. The boys eventually showed up and sat with them. Louis always thought no news was good news so he kept that in mind as time went by without an update.

“Louis, can I talk to you?”

Louis broke his focus and looked up to see Paul. He bit his lip and nodded. He stood up and walked away with him, out of earshot. He crossed his arms and looked out of the hospital window.

“He got away, didn’t he?”

“With everyone running around, nobody saw him leave. Security was busy making sure Alex didn’t try to escape and I think that’s what made him able to get away.”

“How did he even get a gun past the metal detectors in the first place?”

“We think he used a plastic one,” Paul said. Louis looked at him in confusion. Paul sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. “They’re undetectable and only good for one shot because the bullet destroys it.”

“So, the only evidence we have is a bullet that’s somewhere in that arena and some pieces of plastic that are probably disposed of by now?”

“Not necessarily.”

“What do you mean?”

“A lot of people were recording everything on their phones. Simon has sent an email to everyone who held a ticket, asking for any footage from that night. Someone probably caught something.”

“What about Alex? He was sitting right next to him.”

“We’ve already tried. He’s not talking.”

Louis sighed and ran a hand through his hair, nodding in defeat. He put a hand on Paul’s shoulder, squeezing it.

“Thank you for telling me, Paul. But, right now, all I can do is wait for Harry to pull through. That’s all I have the strength for.”

“I’m gonna head to Simon’s office and start helping him go through all the footage. I’ll let you know if I find anything,” Paul said, hugging him before walking away. Louis looked over at Anne and the boys and bit his lip. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping and wishing.

~*~

“Mr. Tomlinson?”

Louis stirred awake and rubbed his eyes. He sat up and looked at the doctor, biting his lip.

“How’s he doing? Is everything okay?”

“He held on through the night and he’s holding steady so far. Like I said, it was a tough surgery, but he’s a fighter.”

“Why hasn’t he woken up yet?”

“There’s no definite timeline for a patient to wake up from surgery. His body probably needs some more healing before it’ll allow him to wake up. We’re monitoring him very closely.”

Louis looked over at Harry’s frail body and bit his lip. He reached out and took his hand in his, kissing it softly.

“What happens if he doesn’t wake up soon?”

“We’re not at that point yet, Mr. Tomlinson.”

“Just tell me, please. I need to know.”

“If he does get to that point, we’ll run some tests to check for any brain activity and we’ll go from there.”

“Thank you. I’d like to be alone with him now,” Louis said, kissing Harry’s hand again. The doctor gave Louis a pat on the back and walked away. Louis scooted as close to Harry as he could and ran a hand through his curls.

“I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere,” Louis said, kissing his cheek. He took a deep breath and held his hand to his lips, kissing it softly. He let his hand go before clasping his own hands together. He looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

“I know you’ve been hearing from me a lot lately,” Louis said, closing his eyes. “But, if you do truly exist, please. I’m asking you to pull him through. Harry is the most selfless, beautiful, loving person I’ve ever met and if anyone needs divine intervention, it’s him. So, please God, I’m asking you. Bring him back to me.”

~*~

Hours went by and eventually, the sun set on another day without Harry waking up. At one point, Louis gave Anne some time with him to use the bathroom. He splashed some water on his face and looked in the mirror. His cheeks were sunken in, his eyes were dark and cloudy, and he was growing a very hideous beard. He shook his head and looked away from his reflection.

“Louis?” Anne asked, knocking on the bathroom door. Louis opened it and looked behind her to see Harry still asleep. “I was going to see if it’d be okay if I went by your house and showered. I could bring you a change of clothes.”

“Of course. You don’t have to ask. Here, let me give you my key,” Louis said, shoving his hand in his pocket. He pulled his keys out and handed them to her, smiling softly. “You can stay as long as you’d like. Just, when you’re looking for some clothes… Don’t open the top drawer.”

Anne raised an eyebrow as Louis’ cheeks turned pink. Anne chuckled softly and nodded her head, kissing his cheek.

“Top drawer is off limits. Would you like me to bring you something to eat?”

“Oh, no. I’m okay. You can make something for you and the boys if you’d like.”

“Louis…” Anne said, reaching out to touch his arm. Louis looked at her, biting his lip. “Harry told me about your mother. I’m so sorry you have to go through this alone. Harry is a big momma’s boy and there are some things that a boy needs his mother for.”

“I’m not alone. I’ve got you and the boys. I’ve got Harry, and to be honest, he’s got a pretty incredible mum. Besides, I already consider you a mum to me.”

Anne’s heart swelled and she teared up as she took Louis into a hug. She kissed the top of his head.

“I know you say he saved you, but I think it’s the other way around. I think you saved him.”

“I think we saved each other,” Louis said, looking over at Harry. Anne smiled softly at her boys and left Louis alone. Louis walked over and sat next to Harry’s bed. He put one of the arms down and leaned in, laying his head on Harry’s hip. He took a deep breath in, taking in the smell that was Harry, and felt at ease. Soon after, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

~*~

Louis hummed as he felt long fingers run through his hair. A large hand rubbed the back of his neck and Louis relished in the warmth of it. He cuddled closer to Harry, wrapping an arm around his legs as he tried to keep dreaming. Then, something clicked. Louis’ eyes shot open and he sat up straight, looking at Harry. Then he realized Harry was looking back at him.

“H-Harry?” Louis asked, his voice only a whisper. Harry touched Louis’ cheek and gagged a little, trying to pull the tube out of his mouth. Louis' eyes widened and he screamed for help. Nurses rushed in and pushed Louis back against the wall so they could tend to Harry.

Louis’ hands flew to his hair and tears welled up in his eyes as he watched the nurses remove the ventilator. Harry coughed a couple of times and reached up to rub his throat, feeling sore.

“Welcome back, Mr. Styles. How do you feel?”

Harry turned his head to look at Louis and reached a hand out to him. A nurse stepped aside as Louis rushed to him, grabbing his hand tight. Tears started falling down his cheeks as he felt Harry finally squeeze his hand back.

“Mr. Styles, I’m gonna ask you again. How do you feel?”

Harry kept his eyes on Louis and gently pulled Louis closer. Louis leaned in and touched his cheek with his free hand.

“Baby, say something,” Louis said, looking at Harry’s face and memorizing it. Harry opened his mouth a little and took a deep breath in, feeling the air fill his lungs. He kept his eyes on Louis and smiled softly.

“Kiss me.”

Chapter Text

Louis gasped, unable to hide his shock from hearing Harry’s voice. He smiled his crinkly-eyed smile and leaned forward, crashing his lips into Harry’s. Harry ran his hands through Louis’ feathered locks and deepened the kiss. Harry’s heart rate could be heard on the machine as it started to race.

“Oh, Harry, I’m so sorry,” Louis whispered against his lips, kissing him again. Harry slowly pulled away and stroked his cheek, looking up at him.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Lou. I knew what I was doing.”

“Harry, how could you be so stupid? You could have died. You did die! The doctor had to stop your surgery because you kept flatlining.”

“Louis, don’t you get it?” Harry asked, touching his cheek. He stroked his cheek softly and tilted his head, looking at him. “I’d die a thousand times over if it meant you got to live.”

“Harry…” Louis said, tearing up. He shook his head and looked at him. “There’s no life worth living if you’re not here to live it with me.”

“Well,” Harry chuckled, smiling softly at him. “Then I guess we’ll just have to keep each other alive, won’t we?”

“Damn straight.”

“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” The nurse said, smiling a little. Harry and Louis looked at her, smiling. “I do need to know how you’re feeling, Mr. Styles.”

“I’m fine. I’m a little sore and my chest is throbbing.”

“Do you mind if I check the surgical site?”

Harry shook his head and Louis stepped back to give her room. Harry reached out and grabbed his hand to keep him from moving too far away. Louis smiled and tangled their fingers together. The nurse carefully undid Harry’s bandages and pulled them back to reveal a stapled incision in the middle of Harry’s chest.

Louis covered his mouth with his free hand and his eyes widened as he looked at the incision. Tears welled up, making his vision blurry.

“Oh, my God,” Louis whispered, shaking his head. Harry squeezed his hand and looked at him.

“Lou, it’s okay. I’m sure it’ll fade over time. Right, nurse?” Harry asked, looking at the nurse. The nurse caught on and smiled softly at Louis.

“It won’t go away completely, but it will fade. Once it heals, you could probably cover it with a tattoo and nobody will be able to tell.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Some creams can help the scar fade as well. The most important thing is that he’s healthy and everything is okay.”

“See, babe? I’m okay. Really,” Harry said. Louis still felt unsure and Harry sighed, pulling him closer. “Louis, it’s just a scar.”

“No, Harry. It’s not just a scar. It’s going to be a constant reminder of what happened.”

“Okay, so I’ll cover it up. No big deal.”

“How can you be so nonchalant about this?” Louis asked, pulling away from him. He ran his hands through his hair and started pacing.

“Because I’m alive, that’s why. So I have a scar. At least I’m not lying in a morgue somewhere.”

“But, you could have been!” Louis said, turning to him. Tears fell down his cheeks and he pointed a finger at him. “You very well could be lying in a morgue right now!”

“But, I’m not, Lou. Look, I know you’re scared—“

“Scared? Try terrified. Harry, I spent so long trying to hold you together and there was so much blood that it was coming through my fingers. I couldn’t stop it.”

“Baby, please don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”

“Why isn’t it? It might as well be. I mean, it was my father that shot you. It was my concert that you were at, and I’m the one who wanted my father there.”

“Okay, but you didn’t pull the trigger. He did.”

“Like I said, I might as well have.”

Louis walked over to the chair and sat down, putting his head in his hands. Harry bit his lip and looked at the nurse. The nurse nodded and walked away, quietly shutting the door. Harry raised his bed into a sitting position and looked at Louis. He bit his lip as he tried to find the right words.

“Louis, I don’t blame you.”

“I know you don’t, Harry.”

“Then just let it go, babe. I don’t know why you think you have to constantly carry a weight of blame on your shoulders whenever something bad happens, but sometimes bad things happen. Yeah, sometimes it’s somebody’s fault, and other times, it’s not. Look at me, honey. Please.”

Louis lifted his head and looked at Harry. Harry smiled softly at him and reached out to him. Louis sniffled and wiped his eyes as he stood up and walked over to Harry. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at his hands. Harry lifted his chin and looked into his eyes.

“If you want to blame someone, put it on me.”

“What? That’s crazy.”

“No, not really. We know your father is a homophobic ass and I taunted him and Alex. I was constantly kissing you and touching you. I wanted them to know you’re mine.”

“Harry, I couldn’t care less what Troy thinks of me being gay. I’m out and proud and I have been for a long time. If he doesn’t like me then that’s his problem. And as for Alex, I would have taunted him, too. I am yours and he needs to know it.”

“I know, but if we had dialed it back a little, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten so mad.”

“Harry, my father came to that show planning to kill me. He made sure the gun would get past security. He sat through the whole show and let his anger build up. He waited for the perfect moment and he took it. Our relationship had nothing to do with it.”

“Maybe not. Maybe it’s the money.”

“Money? What are you talking about?”

“Well, think about it,” Harry said, grabbing his hand. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it. “You’re famous, worth millions. If something were to happen to you, he’s your next of kin because you’re not married and you don’t have any children. All of your assets would go to him.”

Louis sat there looking at Harry’s incision as everything clicked into place. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I can’t believe I never thought of that. Oh, my God… Everything would go to him. My money, my property, everything.”

“We need to draw up a will.”

“We need to get married,” Louis said, sitting up straight. Harry raised an eyebrow, biting his lip.

“We are getting married, Lou. We have a date set and we’re almost done with the planning.”

“Forget the wedding. We need to get married now.”

“You’re funny,” Harry said, chuckling a little. Louis sat there and stared at him. Harry shook his head. “No. We’re not getting married now.”

“Why not? It’s as good a time as any.”

“Louis Tomlinson, we are not getting married in a hospital. We will get a will drawn up and once I heal, then we’ll have our wedding. Now, I know I go along with most of your plans, but I’m putting my foot down on this one.”

“Harry—“

“No, Louis. We are having a wedding, dammit. We are not getting married because you’re afraid your father will try to come after your money. Everyone says marriage ends 50 percent of the time and that’s because people are constantly getting married for the wrong reasons. We are not getting married out of fear. We are getting married out of love.”

Louis watched as he rambled on and a smile slowly started to creep on his face. Harry glared at him, his cheeks turning pink.

“What are you smirking at?”

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” Louis said, smiling more. Harry huffed and ran a hand through his curls. He took in Louis’ smile and how happy he looked. He chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

~*~

Throughout the day, Harry began receiving visitors. The boys came and went along with Paul and even Simon stopped by to see him. Louis never left his side, even when he decided to take a nap.

Harry woke up to the sound of the door sliding open. He opened his eyes and looked at his mom standing in the doorway. He teared up seeing her and held his arms out. She immediately rushed to him, careful not to wake Louis, and hugged her baby tight.

“Oh, honey, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Anne said, kissing the top of his head. Harry sniffled and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

“Mum, I’m so sorry.”

“Harry, it’s okay. I’m just so happy you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?” Anne asked, pulling away from him. She sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand.

“I’m okay, Mum. I’m a little sore, but they’ve got me on some good pain meds so I don’t feel it.”

“Well, that’s good. You scared us there for a minute. Especially Louis.”

Harry looked over at his sleeping boyfriend, curled up in the chair. He smiled sadly and looked back at his mom.

“I don’t know how to make it better for him, Mum.”

“What do you mean, sweetie?”

“He’s always blaming himself for everything that goes wrong in his life and I don’t know how to get him to stop.”

“Baby, I don’t think that’s up to you.”

“I’m his fiancé. It’s my job to help him.”

“Yes, but there are going to be some things you won’t be able to help him with. He’s going to have to learn how not to blame himself on his own.”

Harry sighed and looked back at Louis, biting his lip. All he wanted to do was take the pain away from the beautiful boy sleeping beside him, but he didn’t know how. He knew songs wouldn’t work so he needed to come up with a way to make Louis see.

~*~

Harry was sitting up in the bed, Louis and his mum sitting on either side of him, and he noticed the somber look on the doctor’s face. He was reading through Harry’s medical chart, his eyebrows furrowed. He took a breath and closed the file, looking up at Harry for the first time since he entered the room.

“Okay, there are some things we need to discuss about your surgery and your recovery.”

“I thought the surgery was a success,” Louis said, eyeing the doctor skeptically. The doctor cleared his throat and nodded.

“It was, but there were some complications. One being that you kept flatlining during the first surgery so we had to stop to give you time to recover.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?” Harry asked, biting his lip.

“The bullet entered through your chest between your ribs and punctured a lung before exiting through your back. We tried our very best, but we ended up having to remove the damaged piece of your lung.”

“How much did you have to remove?”

“Almost half.”

Louis’ eyes widened as he looked from the doctor to Harry and back again. He shook his head, not believing what he was hearing.

“But, he’s a professional singer. He needs both lungs for his range. How is he supposed to continue to sing?”

“Mr. Styles—“

“Harry.”

“Harry, you’ll still be able to sing. I don’t think you’ll be able to sing like you have in the past, but with some therapy, you should be able to get close to it.”

“Have you heard his voice? He doesn’t just sing, he belts. There has to be something we can do.”

“I’m so sorry, I truly am. Harry, if you’re truly dedicated to continue singing, you’re going to have a lot of work to do. You’re not going to be able to breathe as well as you did.”

Harry sat silently and stared at the clock behind the doctor’s head, focusing on the ticking. It was as if he could feel his life ticking away with every second as he tried to process the news.

“Harry, we’ll get through this, okay?” Louis said, squeezing his hand a little. Harry tore his gaze away from the clock and looked at Louis, studying his features. He took a breath and nodded, forcing a smile before looking at the doctor.

“So, when can I go home?”

~*~

A week later, Harry was released from the hospital. He was still placed on bed rest until he went back to get his staples removed which wouldn’t be for a couple more weeks. As time went by, Harry started to become more grumpy.

Harry woke up to the smell of food and when he opened his eyes, Louis was standing over him with a tray of food in his hands. He smiled when he noticed Harry was awake. Harry raised an eyebrow as he sat up.

“Did you cook this?”

“Are you kidding?” Louis asked, setting the tray on his lap. He sat next to Harry and smiled more. “Your mum made it. She’s been a delight. We might have to keep her.”

“She is not moving in. I love my mum to death, but if anyone loves me as much as you, it’s her and it’s already smothering enough as it is.”

“Smothering?” Louis asked, scooting back from him. Harry could see the hurt on his face and he sighed, shaking his head.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“If you think I’m smothering you, then just say it. I’m just trying to make sure you’re happy and comfortable.”

“Louis, I didn’t mean it, okay? Please thank my mum for the breakfast.”

Louis took a deep breath and tried to ignore the shortness in his tone. He nodded and smiled a little.

“Well, I’m gonna let you eat. I was going to sit in the studio for a little bit. I’ll come check on you in a few, okay?” Louis asked, looking at him. Harry nodded and looked down at his food as he started to eat. Louis held in a sigh as he stood up and walked away, shutting the door behind him.

~*~

“Just be patient with him, Lou. Harry is a pretty active guy. He’s not used to just lying around,” Liam said, holding his phone up to his ear.

“You didn’t hear him, Li. He said I’m smothering him.”

“Well… You can be a little smothering, and I say that in the nicest way possible. I don’t think you do it on purpose, but you’re always going out of your way to make sure everybody’s okay and taken care of.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m just trying to be there for him.”

“Louis, it’s not a bad thing. You’ll be a great father someday because of how attentive you are, but sometimes, people just need a little space. Take Harry for example, he just went through something traumatizing and he’s still recovering. Just give him time. He’ll come around.”

“Yeah, I guess. I think it could be the lack of sex.”

“That, too,” Liam said, laughing into the phone. Louis smiled and sat down at his piano. He put his phone on speaker and set it down. He grabbed a few blank pages of sheet music and set them on top of the piano.

“Hey, do you have any plans tonight?” Louis asked, scribbling at the top of a page.

“Well, as a matter of fact, I do. I have a date.”

“A date? With who?”

“She’s just a girl I met. I don’t want to jinx it by telling you. You’ll have to wait until after the date.”

“Why? I’m your best friend. I deserve the juicy details. What’s her name?”

“Nope. I’m not telling you. But, I have to go get ready. I will call you as soon as I’m home, okay?”

“Fine,” Louis sighed, rolling his eyes. He smirked a little bit and cleared his throat. “Don’t forget protection.”

“Lou, I never put out on the first date. I’ll talk to you tonight, okay?”

Louis ended the call and ran a hand through his hair, sighing. He looked around the studio and thought about how crazy his life had been since Harry came into his life. He looked at all their platinum albums, pictures of the band over the years, and their numerous awards.

Even if Harry wouldn’t be able to sing as well as he used to or at all, Louis made a vow to stick by him for better or worse. Louis fell for Harry, not because of his singing abilities, but because he was everything that Alex wasn’t. Harry pulled Louis from the ashes and brought him back to life. Louis wasn’t going to give up that easily, and he wasn’t going to let Harry either.

~*~

Harry looked up from his phone when he heard the bedroom door slam open. He looked at Louis standing in the doorway and he set his phone down, taking a deep breath.

“Look, I know you’re still pissed about the smothering comment.”

“You're damn right I am.”

“Louis, I didn’t mean it like you think I did.”

“Yes, you did. But, that’s okay because I’m not going to be the type of boyfriend that says you don’t get to have an opinion. That’s not how our relationship works.”

“Okay…” Harry trailed off, opting to let Louis continue his rant. He learned long ago to just let Louis vent rather than argue with him because once he got going, it wasn't good to add fuel to the fire. Louis walked into the room and stood at the foot of the bed, looking at him.

“I know you’re scared about possibly not being able to sing again, but you know it’s not the end of the world. But, even if you can’t sing anymore, that’s okay. I’m still gonna be here, no matter what.”

“It’s not just my singing I’m scared about, Louis. Right now, the band’s entire career is depending on my voice.”

“Forget about the damn band. There are more important things in life. We have each other and that’s never going to change. You can still have a career in music if you want to, Harry. You can write, produce, and play. If you decide you don’t want to do any of that, then open up a bakery or something.”

“Open a bakery?” Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. Louis shrugged and walked over to Harry’s side of the bed. He sat on the edge of it and grabbed Harry’s hand.

“Harry, we don’t have to decide anything yet. We still have time. We will get through this together, and if that makes me smothering, then oh well. You’ll just have to deal with it.”

“I love you, you know that?” Harry asked, reaching up to touch his cheek. Louis smiled and nodded.

“I want you to come with me.”

“Lou, I can’t get out of bed unless I’m going to the restroom.”

“Okay, so you’re about to take a bathroom break. What the doctor doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Come on,” Louis said, standing up. He helped Harry to his feet and led him to their studio. He took Harry to the couch and helped him sit down, sitting on the coffee table across from him.

“Take a minute and look around this room. We have a lifetime’s worth of work around this room. We’ll be okay, Harry,” Louis said, smiling at him. Harry looked around the room the same way Louis did and a smile slowly came across his face.

“I know you didn’t just bring me in here to show me all this. So let me hear it.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Louis said, reaching over to grab his guitar. He winked at Harry and put the strap over his shoulder. Harry shook his head and chuckled as Louis began to play. Louis looked into Harry’s eyes and started to sing.

When I look into your eyes, it’s like I’m watching the night skies or a beautiful sunrise. There’s so much they hold. And just like them old stars, I see that you’ve come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?

I won’t give up on us even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up.

And when you’re needing your space to do some navigating, I’ll be here patiently waiting to see what you find. ‘Cause even the stars, they burn. Some even fall to the earth. We’ve got a lot to learn. God knows we’re worth it. Oh, I won’t give up. No.

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily. I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make. Our differences, they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got. Yeah, we got a lot at stake. And in the end, you’re still my friend. At least we did intend for us to work. We didn’t break, we didn’t burn. We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in. I had to learn what I got and what I’m not and who I am. Who I am!

Harry watched as Louis closed his eyes and went into the chorus. Tears filled his eyes at the angel in front of him. Louis opened his eyes and looked at Harry again, holding his gaze.

No, I won’t give up on us. God knows I’m tough enough. We’ve got a lot to learn, but God knows we’re worth it. I won’t give up on us even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love. I’m still looking up.

Chapter Text

A few weeks went by and Harry had his staples removed. He was getting ready to start therapy and he was going to be working with a vocal coach to see how his singing had changed. Harry stood in their closet in front of the mirror, absently rubbing the scar on his chest.

“Are you ready for today?” Louis asked, leaning against the closet door. Harry looked at him through the mirror and nodded. He sighed and turned away from his reflection, running a hand through his curls.

“I’m nervous, Lou.”

“It’ll be okay,” Louis said, walking over to Harry. He stood before him and reached up, wrapping his arms around his neck. Harry held his hips and pulled him closer, kissing his forehead. “And if it’s not okay, then that’s okay too. I’m not going anywhere no matter what.”

“I love you,” Harry whispered. He leaned in and kissed Louis softly. Louis leaned up on the tips of his toes and kissed Harry back, biting his lip softly. Harry hummed and deepened the kiss, opening his mouth. Louis moaned softly as he felt their tongues touch. He ran his hands through Harry’s curls and slowly tangled their tongues together.

Harry pulled away slowly and kissed down his jawline before latching onto his neck, sucking the skin softly. Louis groaned and let his head fall back as he felt Harry’s teeth scrape against his skin. Harry wrapped a strong arm around Louis’ waist, holding him against his body as he sucked harder on his neck. Louis gasped at the sensation, feeling his pants tighten.

“Oh…” Louis moaned, digging his nails into Harry’s back. Harry pulled away from Louis’ neck and picked Louis up by his thighs. Louis wrapped himself around Harry, letting Harry carry him into the bedroom. Instead of dropping him on the bed, Harry turned and held Louis against the wall and pressed against him.

Louis’ breath hitched as Harry started to grind against him, the friction in his jeans growing more. Harry carried Louis to the bed and dropped him on it before crawling over him. Louis grabbed Harry by his belt loops and pulled him closer, looking up at him. Harry smirked down at him and watched as Louis undid his pants. After Harry’s pants were slid down to his knees, he grabbed Louis’ wrists and held them over his head with one hand, pulling Louis’ pants down with the other.

“God, I’ve missed this…” Harry said and his voice was husky with lust. Harry flipped Louis over onto his stomach and grabbed his hips, pulling him to his knees. He pressed a large hand on Louis’ back, holding him down. He ran his free hand over Louis’ ass and smacked his cheek lightly, biting his lip as he watched it bounce.

Louis buried his face in the sheets, going crazy from the feeling of Harry’s hands all over him. Harry knelt behind Louis and positioned himself. He gripped Louis’ hips and pushed into him, moaning as he watched Louis take him all in. He throbbed inside Louis as he listened to the moans fall from his lips. Louis gripped the sheets and pressed back against him, reveling in the feeling of Harry long and hard inside him.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good,” Harry promised, pulling out slowly. He slammed himself back into Louis hard, feeling Louis tighten around him. Louis’ jaw dropped and his breath got caught in his throat as Harry began a fast, hard pace.

Harry could feel his muscles contract as he moved on top of Louis. He dug his fingers into Louis’ hips as he continued his pace. He could feel his heart beat fast in his chest as Louis moaned continuously.

Louis could never understand how each time with Harry felt like the first time. Feeling Harry’s hands on his body left tingles in their wake. His body was on fire from the passion of the love he held for Harry. There was nobody like him.

Harry leaned forward over Louis, pressing their bodies together. He gripped Louis’ wrists and held them above Louis’ head as he fucked him into the bed, causing the headboard to knock against the wall. Louis moaned louder with each thrust and he turned his head to look at Harry. As soon as their eyes locked, Harry’s jaw dropped and he came inside Louis. Louis came only seconds after, relishing in the feeling of Harry filling him up.

Harry released one of Louis’ wrists and turned his upper body a little to look at him properly. He pulsed inside of his beautiful fiancé and he leaned in, kissing him softly. Louis reached up and gripped the back of Harry’s neck as he returned the kiss, content with staying in the moment forever.

~*~

Harry smiled down at Louis sound asleep on his chest. He kissed the top of his head and ran a hand down his back, holding him closer. Louis hummed softly and stretched, cuddling closer to him.

“I have to go, baby,” Harry whispered, kissing his head again. Louis groaned and shook his head.

“Don’t pop the sex bubble.”

“Trust me, I’d love to stay in bed with you all day, but I have to go meet up with that vocal coach,” Harry said, rolling on top of him. Louis smiled lazily and blinked his eyes open, looking up at Harry.

“You could always reschedule.”

“As much as I’d love to, I want to be able to sing to you again. To do that, I have to go,” Harry said, sliding off of him. Louis smiled as he watched Harry strut into the closet.

“Okay, fine. Go ahead and get your voice fixed. But, I want a song when you come home.”

“Depending on how today goes, I will think about it. Do you have any plans today?” Harry asked, pulling a shirt over his head. Louis sat up and leaned against the headboard.

“Well, actually, I was thinking about making a trip to Doncaster.”

“Doncaster?” Harry asked, looking at him. Louis bit his lip and shrugged. Harry raised an eyebrow. “Louis, no.”

“Harry, if anyone is gonna find him, it’s me.”

“Let the cops handle it. It’s not up to you.”

“I don’t know what else to do, Harry. Alex won’t talk and there wasn’t a clear video of him with the gun. Maybe I can find him and get him to confess.”

“Or maybe you find him and he finishes the job.”

“Don’t worry, love. I don’t plan on going alone. I was going to see if one of the boys would go with me.”

“How about all of them?” Harry asked, pulling his pants up.

“If that will make you happy, then yes. I’ll have all of them go with me,” Louis said, standing up. He picked his boxers up from the floor and slipped them on. He walked over to Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist, looking up at him. “I need to do this, Haz.”

Harry stared at Louis for a few minutes and sighed, wrapping his arms around his neck. He leaned in and kissed him softly.

“I trust you. Just be safe, okay?”

~*~

Louis parked down the street from a dilapidated house on the corner. He stared at the house and bit his lip, working through his thoughts. He sighed and pulled his phone out, dialing a number.

“Hey, Louis. What can I do for you?”

“If you don’t hear from me in an hour, send the police to my location. But, no sirens. I don’t want to tip him off.”

“Louis, what did you do?”

“I found my father and I’m going to get him to confess.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Paul asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

“No, I’m not. Paul, I know what I’m doing. Harry knows I’m here. I need to do this. Just give me one hour,” Louis said, ending the call. He slid his phone into his pocket and took a deep breath, stepping out of the car. He made his way up the street toward his childhood home as he felt his heart begin to race.

He stood in front of the house and stared up at it. The window he escaped from was never replaced, only covered up with a board. The grass was overgrown and the trash was overflowing with beer bottles. He took hesitant steps to the porch and took a deep breath before raising a shaky hand to ring the doorbell.

Louis could hear the same thunderous footsteps he used to hear so long ago getting louder as they made their way to the door. He braced himself as the door flung open and he came face to face with the man who almost cost him everything.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I came to talk. May I come in?” Louis asked, trying to ignore the smell of stale beer coming from inside the house. Troy looked at his son and shrugged, walking away from the door. Louis bit his lip and took a step over the threshold. He closed the door behind him and stood silently, watching Troy stumble over to the same recliner he used to rock Louis in when he was a baby.

“So, when are the cops coming?”

“They aren’t. It’s just me.”

“Yeah, right,” Troy said, grabbing a pack of cigarettes. He took one out and lit it, taking a long drag before going into a coughing fit. “Well, get on with it so you can get the fuck out of my house.”

Louis walked over to the fireplace and looked at the pictures on the mantle. With his back to his father, he pulled his phone out and turned on the voice recorder before putting it back in his pocket. He turned around and crossed his arms.

“He survived.”

“Who? Your little faggot?” Troy asked, raising an eyebrow. Louis bit the inside of his cheek to keep his anger in check from hearing that despicable word. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Yes. The little faggot that you shot,” Louis said, looking around the dirty house. He scrunched his nose in disgust, shaking his head. “God, it stinks in here.”

“Yeah, well. Who the fuck cares?” Troy said, snuffing his cigarette out.

“Do you have any remorse for what you’ve done? The damage you’ve caused?”

“What is it exactly that you think I’ve done?”

“You abused me. You shot my fiancé.” 

“Well, maybe he deserved it. Maybe you both did.”

“I was just a little kid! What did I do so bad that I deserved to be beaten by my father?!”

“Don’t you yell at me, boy!” Troy shouted, standing up. Louis took in a shaky breath and braced himself, glaring at his father.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do! You lost all rights to do that years ago!”

“Is that so?” Troy sneered, walking closer to Louis. Louis clenched his fists and stood as tall as he could, keeping his head held high.

“Did you even try to look for me after I ran away? What about Lottie? Did you abuse her too?”

“Don’t fucking talk about her,” Troy said, grabbing Louis up by the shirt. Louis glared at him and grabbed his wrist, trying to take his hand off of him.

“Let me go. Now.”

“Or what? You gonna get that little faggot to come protect you?” Troy asked, slamming Louis into the wall. Louis held in his groan and dug his nails into his father’s wrist, trying to get him to let go. “Why did you get to fucking live? You’ve probably got that gay disease and here you are, still breathing. You shouldn’t be here. She should be!”

“Mum? This is about Mum? She had cancer. That wasn’t anybody’s fault!”

“Don’t talk about her like you fucking knew her! She was my life. Now she’s gone and I got stuck with you!” Troy shouted, slamming him against the wall again. Louis hit the wall so hard that a couple of pictures fell from their hooks, shattering on the ground.

“You were my father! You were supposed to protect me, not hurt me!” Louis yelled, pushing back against him. Troy grunted and threw Louis to the ground. Louis landed on the glass from the frames, a piece slicing into his palm. Louis squeezed his eyes shut from the pain. He clenched his fist to keep pressure on the cut to keep the blood from gushing. He opened his eyes and looked down at the picture of his mother and he fought back tears. Troy grabbed Louis by the hair and yanked his head back. Louis groaned and fought against him.

“I’m gonna do to you like I did to that fucking fag of yours except you’re not going to make it out of here alive,” Troy said, pushing Louis back down to the floor. Louis could never forget the sound of the belt buckle coming undone. Louis reached for a piece of glass and just as Troy leaned down to grab him up, he rammed the piece of glass in Troy’s stomach.

Troy staggered back, groaning in pain. Louis stood up slowly as he watched the blood seep into his father’s shirt. Troy grunted as he pulled the glass out and glared up at Louis. He regained his footing and strode over to Louis, throwing his fist out. His fist collided with Louis’ jaw. Not expecting the hit, Louis tripped back and fell into the coffee table. Something silver caught his eye as he tried to get up. He reached for it, scrambling as Troy pulled him back by his shirt.

“You should have stayed with that Alex fucker. At least he kept you in line! Unlike that other one!”

“That other one has a name. It’s Harry,” Louis said, spitting blood onto the floor. He stood straight and pointed the gun at Troy, glaring at him from the barrel.

“What are you gonna do, boy? Kill your father?”

“You’re not my father,” Louis said, cocking the gun. He placed a shaky finger on the trigger and aimed it at Troy’s chest. Louis jumped as he heard the door slam open and he looked over to see the police storming the house, their guns raised.

“Put the gun down now!”

Louis raised his free hand and slowly went to set the gun down. Troy seized the opportunity and lunged at Louis, tackling him to the ground. Louis’ ears started to ring as a loud bang sounded. He gasped for air as Troy lay motionless on top of him. The cops rushed to them and pulled Troy off. One of the cops grabbed Louis up and put his hands behind his back, cuffing them. The last thing he saw before being dragged out of the house was his father’s lifeless body lying on the floor, the silver gun beside him.

~*~

Louis sat in an interview room in the Doncaster police department, cuffed to the table. Paramedics stitched up his hand and it was wrapped in a white bandage. Louis’ leg was bouncing with nervousness as he waited for someone to come in and talk to him. Images of what happened flashed through his mind. He tried to focus on the picture of his mother, keeping her face in his mind. He thought about Harry and how he must be freaking out. Louis sighed and shook his head, trying to clear his head.

Louis got lost in his thoughts and was startled when the door opened, and two detectives stepped through. One was tall and lanky and the other was short and stout. They both had a cup of coffee in their hands as they took their seats across from Louis.

“Before we get started, is there anything you’d like? We have coffee, tea, and soda.” 

“I’d like to make a phone call if I could.”

“We’ll let you make a call after we ask you some questions. I’m Detective Clark and this is my partner Detective Michaels. I want to inform you that this interview is being recorded. For the record, could you please state your full name?”

“Louis William Tomlinson,” Louis said, taking a deep breath. “He's dead, isn't he?”

“Unfortunately, yes. He was pronounced dead at the scene.”

Louis put his head in his hands and gripped his hair. He tried to fight the tears, but a sob escaped his lips. He covered his face with his hands as he broke, sobs racking through his shaking body. The detectives watched as Louis broke down. Detective Clark bit his lip and cleared his throat.

“Mr. Tomlinson, I know this is upsetting, but we have some questions we need to ask you.”

Louis squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths before raising his head to look at the detectives.

“What do you want to know?”

“What events led to you showing up at Mr. Austin’s house? Did you show up with the intent of killing him?”

Louis’ eyes widened at the detective’s words. He shook his head repeatedly as he tried to grasp the severity of the situation.

“W-What? No. Are you crazy? I’ve never hurt anybody in my life. Why would I want to kill my father?”

“Well, maybe because you claim he shot your fiancé or you were trying to get your revenge from the years of abuse you suffered as a child. I see you were placed in foster care after you ran away from your house. The Paynes, am I correct?” Detective Clark asked, looking up from a file. Louis looked at him for a few minutes. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I think I’m going to ask for a lawyer now.”

“Mr. Tomlinson, if you lawyer up now, I can’t help you.”

“Look, you know who I am. You know how much press this is going to get. I am not going to allow somebody in this police department to leak confidential information about my life. Since I can’t get to my phone right now, I can only imagine what the news channels are saying. There’s nothing I can do about that, but this is something I can control. So, I’m invoking my right to remain silent and I’m asking for a lawyer. You’ll need to contact Simon Cowell with Modest management to get my lawyer.”

The detectives sighed and closed the file before standing up and walking out of the room. Once they left, Louis let the tears start up again as he tried to understand how his life got turned upside down.

~*~

Hours went by as Louis sat in the interview room waiting for his lawyer. The detectives ended up removing the handcuffs to allow Louis to stand up and stretch while he waited. Detective Clark brought Louis’ phone to him after a few hours of waiting and let him make a call. Louis took in a shaky breath as he dialed a number. He closed his eyes as he listened to it ring.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Harry asked, answering the call on the first ring. Louis sighed into the phone and ran a hand through his hair.

“I wasn’t. Harry, there’s nothing you can say that I haven’t already said to myself.”

“You lied to me, Louis. You said you were going to take the guys with you so imagine my surprise when I called Liam to check on you because you weren’t answering your calls just to find out he wasn’t with you! Jesus, Louis. I don’t understand what’s going on with you lately. It’s like you have a self-destruct button.”

“I’m sorry I lied. But, I knew if I told you I planned on going alone, you wouldn’t have let me go.”

“Damn straight, and if you hadn’t lied, you wouldn’t be sitting in jail right now!”

“I know. All I can say is that I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me.”

“Louis,” Harry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He groaned and leaned his head back against the car seat. He looked out the window, watching the city zoom past him. He bit his lip and sighed again, shaking his head. “You know I’m going to forgive you. I just… I just don’t know how we’re going to survive this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Louis, you’re being accused of murder. That’s not just going to go away overnight. Simon is pissed, the tabloids and news channels are going nuts. One of your dad’s neighbors filmed you getting arrested and sold it online. It’s all over. Simon and the lawyers are going crazy trying to get the video removed.”

“Fuck,” Louis sighed, hanging his head. The detective cleared his throat and Louis looked up at him. He bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Listen, I have to g-go. I’ll just, um… See you when I see you.”

“Louis, I love you. Stay strong, okay?”

“I l-love you, too.”

Chapter Text

Louis hung up the phone and slid it across the table to the detective. He bit his lip as tears resurfaced again and he put his head in his hands, feeling lost.

“With all due respect, Mr. Tomlinson, I don’t believe you went to that house with the intent to kill your father. But, as a detective, I must follow the evidence. You can still choose to talk to me at any time. I will do what I can to help you.”

Louis sniffled and raised his head to look at him, his eyes red with tears. He stared at him for a few quiet minutes, the tension around them becoming tighter each second. The detective stared back at him, patiently waiting for him to break. Louis sighed uncomfortably and looked away, biting his lip. He finally gave up, shaking his head before taking a deep breath and opening his mouth to speak.

“There was one time when I was younger that he beat me with a belt so hard, I couldn’t sit down for a week. Even after that, I did everything I could to make him happy. But, it was never enough,” Louis shared, shaking his head again. Detective Clark nodded for him to continue, listening intently. Louis started picking at the bandage on his hand, biting his lip harder. “He was undoing his belt when I grabbed the g-gun. I think that was the trigger.”

“A trigger for your PTSD, am I correct? I spoke with your therapist,” Detective Clark said, looking at Louis. Louis sighed and nodded.

“He came to one of my concerts and shot my fiancé. I’m pretty sure he was aiming for me because Harry knocked me out of the way and next thing I know, Harry is on the ground bleeding,” Louis said, looking down at his hands. He chuckled dryly, shaking his head. He knew it wasn’t funny, but the situation he was in was so incredulous that he couldn’t help but laugh. He sighed and clenched his fists, remembering all the blood. He looked up at the detective and narrowed his eyes at him, wondering how much he should share.

“He pulled out a gun and shot Harry in front of tens of thousands of people. Can you imagine the screaming and the chaos that ensued after that shot rang out? Did you know some people were injured because they were running for their lives?”

“No, I didn’t know. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I can imagine how angry you were at him for what happened. I’d want revenge, too. Is that what made you decide to show up to his house?”

“I read somewhere that if a person grows up in an abusive household, they are more likely to be in an abusive relationship and they’re more prone to addiction and mental illness. Did you know that?” Louis asked, ignoring the detective’s question. The detective cleared his throat and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms.

“Yes, that’s something we learn in our training. I think the person who is abused believes they are unworthy of a healthy, happy relationship so they subconsciously seek out a partner who resembles their abuser.”

Louis looked away and stared at the blank wall, biting his lip. He put his hands together and placed his thumb into his palm. He pressed down on the cut and took a deep breath, feeling a stabbing pain shoot up his arm. He closed his eyes and welcomed the pain. The detective watched him closely as Louis kept putting pressure on his palm.

“Sometimes I wonder how my life managed to get so fucked up. How a little lad from Donny who liked tea parties and football could endure so much pain, but still manages to find a semblance of joy. I mean,” Louis laughed dryly, throwing his hands up in the air. He looked at Detective Clark and shrugged his shoulders again. “My ex raped me more times than I can count I’m surprised I even like to have sex. Not to mention the memories of my father’s hands all over me.”

“Your father sexually abused you as well?” Detective Clark asked, raising an eyebrow, surprised by the confession. Louis scoffed and looked at his bandaged hand, watching the blood stain grow bigger by the second.

“He never…” Louis said, biting his lip hard. The familiar taste of iron filled his mouth and he squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to suppress the memories. “He never p-penetrated me, but yes. He’d come home drunk and come into my bedroom to ‘play’. At least that’s what he called it.”

Detective Clark took in an angry breath and reached across the table, touching Louis’ wrist. Louis jerked away from him, opening his eyes to stare at him. Detective Clark held his hands up, trying to let Louis know he didn’t mean any harm.

“I wasn’t trying to scare you. I just wanted to let you know I’m genuinely sorry for everything you’ve gone through. Nobody deserves that much torture. I can understand why you ran away and I commend you for getting out.”

Louis stared at him as he let the detective’s words sink in. He nodded slowly and relaxed a little bit, clearing his throat.

“I’m sorry. I just…” Louis trailed off, looking away from him. He brought his hands to his face and covered it, breathing shakily. He opened his mouth to continue speaking when the interview room door flung open. Louis jumped at the sound and he dropped his hands, looking at the door. Tears filled his eyes and he jumped up from his seat and rushed to the door, flinging his arms around Harry’s neck. 

Harry enveloped Louis in a tight embrace, holding him close. Louis buried his face in Harry’s neck and he broke down once more, loud cries escaping his lips. Harry tried to soothe him, kissing his head. Their lawyer stepped around them and entered the room, holding a piece of paper in his hand. He held it out to the detective.

“Louis is being released. I’ve spoken with your district attorney and no charges are being filed at this time. This is a non-disclosure agreement for you to sign stating that anything my client talked about will be forgotten about. I also have an order from a judge that allows me to confiscate any audio and video recordings from Louis’ time here. Please sign at the bottom,” The attorney said, holding a pen out for Detective Clark to take. Detective Clark raised an eyebrow and picked the contract up, looking over it. He looked over at Louis and Harry, admiring how Louis’ personality changed as soon as Harry entered the room. The lawyer cleared his throat and Detective Clark nodded before signing his name and handing the NDA back to the lawyer. The lawyer looked it over and put it in his briefcase before stomping out of the room.

Louis pulled back from Harry and wiped his eyes. He turned to Detective Clark and held his hand out toward him. He smiled and grabbed Louis’ hand, shaking it.

“Thank you, Detective Clark.”

“Louis, my sister was in an abusive relationship for ten years. I may not know what you’ve been through personally, but I do understand it. I commend you for sharing your story with the world and offering people help in similar situations.”

“How is your sister doing now?” Louis asked, biting his lip. Detective Clark looked at him and smiled sadly, shrugging his shoulders. Louis sighed softly and reached out, squeezing his arm. “I’m so sorry. I truly hope she’s at peace now.”

“Take care of yourself, Mr. Tomlinson.”

~*~

Harry led Louis out of the interview room and met the attorney by the information desk. Louis signed some paperwork for the release of his items. Harry’s phone chimed and he pulled it out of his pocket to check it. He sighed and put his phone back into his pocket, looking at their attorney.

“That was Simon. Somebody leaked information on Louis’ whereabouts so about a dozen reporters are standing outside. They’re going to ambush him. What do you want to do?”

“Well, there’s a couple of things we could do,” He said, checking his watch. He looked at Louis and bit his lip. “We could try to sneak out the back way, but chances are, the reporters have partners covering all the exits. The other thing we could do is walk outside and make a statement. You’ve been very upfront with your fans about your story so you can use this time to tell them your side.”

“Harry, what do you think I should do?” Louis asked, looking at him. Harry walked over to the window and looked through the blinds. The reporters were crowding the front door, cameras and microphones in their hands. There were news vans parked along the sidewalk, blocking the road. Harry thought for a few seconds and took a deep breath. He walked over to Louis and wrapped an arm around him, kissing his head.

“I think we need to get ahead of this as soon as possible. I think the longer you go without talking will make you look guilty and the media will twist you into the villain.”

“Okay. Let’s get this over with,” Louis said, squeezing Harry’s hand. Hand in hand, they walked to the exit. An officer held the door open and escorted them outside. Reporters rushed to Louis and Harry and started yelling questions at them. Louis took a deep breath and held his hands up to try to get them to quiet down. One by one, each reporter stopped yelling and held their microphones out toward Louis. Louis took a deep breath and looked at Harry. Harry nodded and squeezed his shoulder in support.

“Despite what everyone is saying, I did not come to Doncaster to kill my father,” Louis began, looking at each reporter. He closed his eyes and bowed his head before continuing. “I wanted to confront him to get his confession for shooting Harry. I had my phone in my pocket and it was recording everything. Words were exchanged and eventually, my father attacked me. I found his gun and I pointed it at him to keep him from advancing on me. At that point, the police came inside the house. I was lowering the gun when my father tackled me to the ground. During the scuffle, the gun went off.”

Louis sniffled and tears filled his eyes as he recalled the memory. The reporters watched as he broke down in front of them. Harry reached out and grabbed his hand. Louis squeezed his hand tight and took a deep breath.

“As much as I’d like to blame my father, there are many factors that put me at fault, too. My father was so overcome with grief over losing my mother that he is not entirely to blame for all of the decisions he’s made over the years. Despite all the hurt he caused, he was still my father and now both of my parents are gone. I am truly sorry for what happened to him and I deeply regret the part I played in his death. I would like to thank you in advance for the privacy to allow me and my family to grieve. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a funeral to plan.”

Louis nodded to the officer and was escorted to the car. The reporters crowded him and shouted in his ears as the officer opened the car door, allowing Louis and Harry to climb inside. As soon as the door closed, reporters started to bang on the windows. Louis ran a hand through his hair and he shook his head, sighing deeply. Harry put an arm around him and pulled him close, kissing his head.

“Are you okay, love?” Harry asked, trying to ignore the screaming. Louis watched the reporters follow as their driver tried to navigate through the mass crowd without hitting them. Louis bit his lip and looked up at Harry.

“How do I plan a funeral for someone I hated so much over the years?”

“It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll help you every step of the way.”

“I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you, Harry.”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” Harry said, kissing him softly. Louis touched his cheek as he returned the kiss. They pulled away after a few seconds and Louis snuggled into Harry’s arms as they made their way back home.

~*~

Louis walked into the house with Harry trailing behind him. He slipped his shoes off and ran a hand through his hair. He scrunched his nose in disgust, feeling the oil from his dirty hair.

“I need a shower. My hair is filthy.”

“Louis, what the fuck were you thinking?” Harry asked, crossing his arms. Louis rubbed his hands over his face, dreading the impending argument. Louis turned to Harry and sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

“I wasn’t, okay? I know we need to talk about this, but can I please take a shower first? I’m dirty and I just want to stand under the hot water to clear my head.”

“How many times are we gonna keep doing this? I know you’re going through some tough times right now, but that doesn’t mean you get to go off and do something reckless and then expect everyone to clean up your mess.”

“Did I ask you to?” Louis asked, crossing his arms. He shook his head and sighed. “I didn’t ask for your help.”

“We’re partners, Louis. Whether you ask for my help or not, you’re going to get it.”

“That’s the thing. I didn’t want it. Why do you think I didn’t tell you? I hadn’t spoken to my father in over 20 years and I just wanted to have a conversation with him.”

“You just wanted to talk? To the man who shot me?” Harry asked, shaking his head in disbelief. He walked over to their liquor cabinet and picked up a bottle of scotch. He poured a glass and drank it down before pouring another one, gathering his thoughts. “I don’t understand you sometimes. You said you were going there to get him to confess.”

“I was, and I did. I have it on recording. But, I wanted to talk to him about something else, too.”

“Do enlighten me, Louis.”

“Don’t patronize me, okay?” Louis asked, pointing a finger at him. “You don’t know what my life’s been like. Yeah, I’ve talked to you about it, but you don’t know. You had a wonderful childhood. You still have a relationship with your sister. Your parents are still alive. I don’t have any of that. I never had any of that so excuse me if I don’t want to talk to you about it.”

“It wasn’t your fault that your mum died, Louis. She was sick, and it wasn’t your fault that your dad went crazy afterward. Lottie is still around. You still have a chance to mend things with her.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to me,” Louis said, grabbing Harry’s glass from him. He drained it and set the glass back down. He looked up at Harry and sighed. “I will try to call her tomorrow, okay? I need to meet up with her anyway to plan the funeral. Now, are we done? I could really use a shower.”

“Yeah, we’re done.” Harry sighed, walking away from him toward the kitchen. Louis watched him walk away and he bit his lip before turning to walk up the stairs.

He walked into their bathroom and left the door open in case Harry decided to join him. He stripped his clothes off and threw them into the hamper and turned the water on as hot as it would go. He stood in front of the mirror and stared at his reflection. His lip was split and swollen from where his dad punched him. His hair was disheveled and it stuck up in places. He grabbed his brush and ran it through his hair, pulling at the tangles. He stared hard at himself until the mirror fogged up from the steam of the hot water.

He looked down at his bandaged hand and took the bandage off to look at the cut on his palm. There was dried blood around the edge of the cut from where he pressed on it earlier. He ran a finger along the cut, tracing it. Even though it would eventually heal and fade, Louis took pleasure in seeing a physical reminder of what happened.

He sighed and walked over to the shower, opening the door. A cloud of steam flowed into the room, making everything damp with condensation. He stepped into the shower and closed the door behind him, feeling the heat surround him. He stood under the shower head and tilted his head back, feeling the hot water fall over him like rain. He ran his hands through his wet hair and watched the dirt swirl down the drain. He closed his eyes as tears mixed with the water, feeling grateful they were hidden. He took a deep breath and felt himself relax as his thoughts were washed away with the dirt and blood.

~*~

Harry stirred awake a few hours later and reached over for Louis to find his side of the bed empty. He grabbed his phone and checked the time. Seeing it was the middle of the night, Harry got out of bed to search for Louis. He crept into the hallway and looked up and down it before his eyes settled on a light coming from the studio.

He bit his lip as he quietly made his way to the studio door. He didn’t like spying on Louis while he was writing, but sometimes it was the only time Harry could figure out what Louis was thinking when he didn’t feel like talking. He pressed his ear to the door and listened to the sound of an acoustic guitar filling the room. He bit his lip and closed his eyes as Louis started to sing.

Pour mercy, mercy on me. Set fire to history. I’m breakin’ my own rules. I’m cryin’ like a fool. Tall stories on the page, short glories on the fade. I’ve been close enough to touch, but I never cared for love.

It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray. It’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave…

Louis strummed the guitar and took a staggering breath, trying to calm down. He looked down at his messy scrawl on the sheet music as he continued to sing.

If the truth tell, darling, you fell like there ain’t enough dying stars in your sky. It’s a tall tale and it’s only hello, hello. No goodbye…

Pour mercy, mercy on me. I’ll fall upon my knees. And they’ll say ‘I told you so. Come on, when you know you know.’ All the lonely shadow dances from the cradle to the grave. It’s a solo song and it’s only for the brave…

Louis set his guitar down and picked his phone up, ending the recording. He stood up and stretched. He looked over at the door and raised an eyebrow. He walked over to it and threw it open, catching Harry as he stumbled into the room. Harry regained his footing and stood up, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment. Louis crossed his arms and hid his smirk.

“You know, I’m pretty sure eavesdropping is one of the deadly sins.”

“Unfortunately for you, it didn’t make the cut,” Harry said, taking a deep breath. He bit his lip, trying to hide his smile. “I guess I’ll have to find another way to get into Hell.”

“You can just hitch a ride with me then. God knows that’s where I’m heading.”

Harry shook his head and held his arms out. Louis closed the space between them, wrapping his arms around Harry, and buried his face in his chest. Harry held him tight and kissed the top of his head.

“If anyone is getting through those pearly gates, it’s you. But, I’m sorry for spying on you. I woke up and you weren’t in bed so I got worried.”

“It’s okay. I just couldn’t sleep,” Louis said, pulling away from Harry. He walked over to the coffee table and picked up his sheet music, stacking it together. Harry bit his lip and walked over to join him. He placed a hand on his back, rubbing it gently.

“That was a beautiful song you wrote.”

“Yeah, well… That was me praying to God and asking Him for help,” Louis said, shrugging his shoulders. Harry watched him walk around the studio and sighed sadly.

“Do you believe in Him?”

“You shouldn’t ask questions like that,” Louis said, walking over to the piano. He grabbed a blank page of sheet music and set it on top of the piano before writing a title on top of the page.

“Well, if it means anything to you, I don’t care who or what you believe in just as long as you believe in something.”

“What about you?” Louis asked, sitting on the piano stool. Harry sat on the coffee table and looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “What if you’re who I believe in?”

“As much as I’d love that, I’d like for you to believe in something other than me. You shouldn’t put all of your faith in just one thing. I’d like to see you believe in more than just me."

Louis looked at him for a few minutes, working through his thoughts. He bit his lip and turned to the piano, placing his fingers on the keys. He took a deep breath and began to play.

Sometimes I’m beaten. Sometimes I’m broke. ‘Cause sometimes this city is nothing but smoke. Is there a secret? Is there a code? Can we make it better? ‘Cause I’m losing hope.

Tell me how to be in this world. Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hurt. Tell me how ‘cause I believe in something. I believe in us…

Harry picked their guitar up and picked up the rhythm, joining in with Louis. Louis looked over at Harry and watched him as they continued to play.

After the wreckage, after the dust, I still hear the howling. I still feel the rush. Over the riots, above all the noise… Through all the worry, I still hear your voice.

Harry joined in with Louis during the chorus and smiled as they sang to each other.

Tell me when the light goes down, that even in the dark, we will find a way out. Tell me now ‘cause I believe in something. I believe in us…

We used to be kids living just for kicks. In cinema seats, learning how to kiss. Running through streets that were painted gold. We never believed we’d grow up like this…

They went into the chorus one last time, playing together as if they’d done it their whole lives. As the song came to a close, Louis locked eyes with Harry and smiled softly.

“I believe in something. I believe in us…”