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Chapter Text

“What business does he have being so bloody pretty?”  Jonghyun muttered to Minki as they waited to catch the staircase to Charms.  Just out of earshot, a certain Hwang Minhyun was drifting by serenely above them on another portion of the enchanted staircase, headed towards a different part of the castle. 

“Is it that time of the month again already?”  Minki asked and Jonghyun smacked him lightly on the arm.

“Don’t you dare bring that into this!”  Jonghyun snappped back.

“You’ve been irritable all morning and you’re more hyperaware of Hwang Minhyun than usual,” Minki pointed out.  “And it’s… Let’s see,” Minki rummaged in the sleeve of his robe for a moment before pulling out a moon calendar from within.  “ A little less than a week before the full moon!  You can’t deny the correlation, Jonghyun.”

“Be more subtle, Minki!”  Jonghyun hissed, glancing around the stairway, anxious that someone might have overheard.  “You know what could happen to me if that secret got out!”

“Relax, there’s no one nearby, I’m not that stupid.”  Minki said with an air of casualness that Jonghyun thought was insensitive.  “Come on, if we don’t hurry we’ll get detention for being late again.”

Despite being in different houses, Jonghyun and Minki have been friends since their first year.  It all started when the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins had potions together and they ended up sitting at the same table.  At first, they had barely talked to each other, but then one day when Minki managed to spill his potion all over the both of them Jonghyun had tried to take the blame for it upon himself. Minki refused to let him, and immediately cut Jonghyun off to confess that it had been his carelessness that had caused the accident.  The two of them have been fast friends ever since.  Jonghyun was so reserved that even in the friendliest house, he had struggled to make friends.  Choi Minki trampled over all of Jonghyun’s shyness and forced himself into Jonghyun’s life.  At first, Jonghyun had a bit of a crush on Minki, for how couldn’t he help but like willowy the eleven-year old boy who constantly did stupid, crazy things just to make Jonghyun laugh and had taken the time to fight through his awkwardness.  Eventually though, the crush had faded away and he and Minki were just best friends.  When Jonghyun confided the fact to Minki in their third year Minki had teased him about it relentlessly.  Of course, at that point it was obvious that Jonghyun was very much over Minki when one considered the amount of time he spent mooning over a certain Ravenclaw student by the name of Hwang Minhyun.

Minki was also the only person in the castle excluding the staff who knew about Jonghyun’s affliction.  Werewolf anti-discrimination laws had improved in recent years, but it still wasn’t safe for the students at large to know what Jonghyun was.  That was one of the reasons Jonghyun tried to keep to himself when he first arrived at Hogwarts.  It was also one of the reasons Jonghyun disagreed with Minki’s opinion that he should be more assertive and actually try to talk to his long term crush, Ravenclaw dreamboat Hwang Minhyun.

Jonghyun was by no means Minhyun’s only admirer.  People of all houses, genders, and years seemed enamored with the boy.  Minhyun went around the castle singing softly to himself in his honey-sweet voice, how was anyone supposed to resist that?  He was devastatingly handsome, and according to Minki, who did some research on Minhyun for Jonghyun’s sake, one of his great-great grandmothers or something was a veela.  So really, Jonghyun’s crush was out of his own control, or so Jonghyun liked to believe.  However, Minhyun’s supposed veela ancestry was a hot topic in gossip within Hogwarts, some swore by it, while others insisted that it was just a rumor.  Minhyun was one of the top students in their year, and on top of all that, really, really nice.  He was always willing to help people out on their homework regardless of house.  If Jonghyun was braver, he might go to Minhyun for ‘homework help’ just for an excuse to talk to him, but Minhyun’s dazzling smile always rendered him incapable of forming a coherent sentence.

“I don’t know how you always manage to get it perfect so quickly every time.”  Minki told Jonghyun in Charms, staring enviously at Jonghyun’s frog, which was now completely silent despite its numerous efforts to croak.  Jonghyun let himself smile a little, embarrassed, but really quite pleased with Minki’s praise.  Minki gave Jonghyun’s frog one more longing look before turning back to get to work on his raven.

“Silencio,” Minki said dispassionately, flicking his wand a bit too intensely.  The raven continued to caw loudly.  Minki let out a sigh.

“Excellent work Jonghyun!”  The professor commented as he walked past their table.  “You’re the second person in your year to master silencing charms this fast! Ten points to Hufflepuff!” 

Jonghyun couldn’t help but smile a little more.

“You know, I don’t think even Hwang Minhyun could beat you when it comes to grades, Jonghyun.”  Minki said once the professor moved on to the next table and out of earshot.

“I miss too much school for that to be true.”  Jonghyun muttered, pretending to exam his frog so to avoid looking at Minki.  Spending a few nights in the hospital wing every month around the full moon meant that Jonghyun missed class so often that if he didn’t work extra hard he’d be certain to fall behind.  His above-average performance in classes was only the result of him desperately putting in the extra effort so that his grades didn’t go under.  He was certainly no genius, not like Hwang Minhyun.

“Your wrist movement was off when you tried the spell, let me show you.”  Jonghyun said quickly, eager to change the subject.

“I’m so glad we have this class together this year,” Minki sighed. “Last year when I was stuck with the Ravenclaws was awful, I couldn’t focus with that idiot Aron Kwak staring at me every lesson.”

Jonghyun suppressed a giggle.  He knew Minki well enough to know that if Aron’s attentions actually bothered him Minki, he wouldn’t talk about him so much.  As it is, Minki seemed to find great enjoyment in complaining about Aron to Jonghyun every chance he got and messing with Aron by sending mixed signals.  Jonghyun felt a bit sorry for the guy.  If he were to actually to confess to Minki Jonghyun was pretty sure Minki wouldn’t turn him down, but Minki played with Aron too much for him to retain enough confidence to openly approach the Slytherin.

“At least you didn’t have to witness the shame of Gryffindor’s quidditch star being afraid of unicorns in Care of Magical Creatures.”  Jonghyun countered.  “I don’t think I’ll ever get over the secondhand embarrassment of watching Dongho flinch away from probably the most serene of magical creatures.”

“I’m just jealous that I didn’t get to see that in person like you did.”  Minki laughed.  “It’s practically become a school legend. It’s been weeks and people are still neighing at Dongho in the hall ways.”

*

With the help of the Wolfsbane potion Jonghyun was by no means dangerous during the full moon, but he still had to stay in the hospital wing for the night of the full moon, as well as the night preceding and the night after.   Minki visited him sometimes, but Jonghyun used most of the time to try to catch up on all the classes he was missing.  In addition, as much as he hated to admit it, Jonghyun always felt awful during the week leading up to the full moon.  He was tired and grumpy for no reason, and it seemed like he could never eat enough to put an end to his hunger.  During those times he wished he could just rest, but if he didn’t want to flunk out he couldn’t afford to. 

As Jonghyun and Minki were walking down the corridor to the great hall for lunch, they came upon Aron and Minhyun exiting the transfiguration courtyard with a group of Ravenclaws.  Upon catching sight of Minki, Aron quickened his pace to catch up with Minki and Jonghyun. Minhyun followed his friend with a bemused expression.  Aron wasted no time starting a conversation with Minki, and Jonghyun was left standing awkwardly beside them, trying to deafen his ears to their uncomfortably flirty conversation.

“Hey Jonghyun.”  Minhyun greeted him and Jonghyun felt himself tense.  He didn’t think that someone as popular as Minhyun would even know his name.

“H-hi.”  Jonghyun stammered back after an embarrassingly long pause.

“Excited for lunch?”  Minhyun asked at the same time Jonghyun’s stomach let out a terribly audible growl.  Minhyun laughed and the sound mesmerized Jonghyun for a split second. “I suppose that’s a yes then.”  Minhyun smiled.  Thankfully, Jonghyun was saved the trouble of thinking of something else to say by their timely arrival to the Great Hall. 

“See you around, Jonghyun. Bye Minki.”  Minhyun bid them farewell before dragging Aron along with him to the Ravenclaw table.  With frightening speed, Minki whipped around to Jonghyun.

“You finally talked to him.  I’m proud of you.”  He congratulated Jonhyun, patting Jonghyun’s back in a way that made Jonghyun feel less than dignified. 

“More like he talked to me.” Jonghyun grunted, brushing Minki’s hand away.

“When, an improvement however you put it.”  Minki commented.  “Do you have class after lunch?”

“Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Ravenclaws.”  Jonghyun answered shortly.

“Excellent.  You can continue what you started with Minhyun then.”  Minki said smiling and nodding.  “See you around dinner then I suppose.”  He finished, turning away to joining the Slytherin table.

“I didn’t start anything!” Jonghyun called after him, but Minki was already too far to hear his words.  Frustrated, Jonghyun plopped himself down next to the other Hufflepuffs and began to devouring his lunch.

*

Jonghyun never knew where to sit in classes with the Ravenclaws or Gryffindors.  In classes the Hufflepuffs share with the Slytherins he always just stuck to Minki, but when Minki wasn’t there, he felt a bit lost.  Youngmin, also in Hufflepuff, talked to Jonghyun in their common room sometimes, so when in doubt Jonghyun sat by him.  Unfortunately though, Youngmin had so many friends among all the houses that Jonghyun often couldn’t sit by him in lessons because the seats around him filled up so quickly.  That day in Defense against the Dark Arts the seats by Youngmin were already occupied by Sewoon and another Ravenclaw Jonghyun didn’t recognize.  Not seeing any other options, Jonghyun took a seat in a part of the classroom that nobody has decided to sit in yet, taking out his notes and starting studying them so he wouldn’t have to look up as other students enter the classroom.

“Hey Jonghyun, is it okay if we sit here” An all too familiar voice asks and Jonghyun looked up into the gorgeous face of Hwang Minhyun.  Aron was standing behind him, and both were looking at him expectantly.  Jumping a little in his seat when he realized that they were waiting for him to reply, Jonghyun nodded quickly and then went back to his notes.  Minhyun sat down in the seat right next to Jonghyun and Jonghyun wondered how he was going to focus on the lesson when he was in such close proximity to Minhyun.  In lessons with the Ravenclaws, Jonghyun usually made a point not to sit too close to Minhyun for that very reason.  He did usually try to sit somewhere where he could see Minhyun, just so he could enjoy the visuals, but he never dared to get up close and personal like that.

“Wow,” Jonghyun heard Minhyun say and at first he assumed that he must be speaking to Aron.  “You take really thorough notes.”

Jonghyun looked up from his notes for a second time to see Hwang Minhyun leaning toward him to look over his shoulder at his notes.  Jonghyun closed his notebook as quickly as he could, feeling his entire face go hot.

“It’s- It’s’-It’s…” Jonghyun stuttered. “They’re… They’re n-not that great. My notes, that is.”  Jonghyun wanted to dig a hole and escape out of the classroom and out of the world forever.

“They definitely look much better than mine.”  Minhyun told him with a dazzling smile that made Jonghyun’s heart speed up.  “Maybe we can share notes sometime.”

Jonghyun was spared having to answer by the professor coming in and starting the class.  Still blushing, he reopened his notebook and passionately took notes on the lecture for the entirety of the period, taking special care not to look at Minhyun too much, despite how pretty he was.

If Jonghyun thought that he would be able to escape the room once class is over without any more embarrassing encounters, he was mistaken.  Once class was dismissed and he finished putting all his things away and was just about to get up and leave the room, Jonghyun felt a tap on his arm.  Unsurprisingly, he was once again faced with the distractingly beautiful Hwang Minhyun.

“Jonghyun, you’re pretty close with Choi Minki from Slytherin, right?”  Minhyun asked him.  Confused why Minhyun would suddenly ask him about Minki, Jonghyun just nodded. 

“And you two usually spend Hogsmeade trips together, right?”  Aron asked, popping out from behind Minhyun.  Jonghyun nodded again, raising an eyebrow.  “The next trip is in two weeks, can the two of us come with you?”  Aron continued quickly.  “That is, if you don’t mind of course.”

“Aron is… quite fond of your friend Minki and wants an excuse to spend time with him.”  Minhyun said in explanation before Jonghyun had time to answer.

Jonghyun considered rejecting the request purely because he thought he might not be able to manage being around Minhyun for several hours without horrifyingly embarrassing himself in one way or another.  On the other hand, when else would he get another excuse to hang out with his crush for almost an entire day? When no clear decision came to him after several long and awkward moments of Minhyun and Aron staring at him in anticipation, he settled for answering vaguely.

“Ummm… I’ll have to ask Minki about it.”  Jonghyun finally answered back, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

“Great, give us your answer after you talk to him then.”  Minhyun said smiling at Jonghyun in a way that made Jonghyun’s insides feel ticklish.  “Bye bye then.”  Minhyun waved at Jonghyun before exiting the classroom, humming as he went, Aron trailing behind him.

*

“Coward.”  Minki said once Jonghyun explained what Minhyun and Aron asked him earlier when they were hanging out together in the library after dinner.  “He should’ve just asked me out, then we could have made it a double date.”  Minki continued, running a hand through his hair in irritation.  At the word date, Jonghyun felt himself cringe.

“Double dates require two couples, Minki.”  Jonghyun reminded his friend.

“Yeah, you and Minhyun, me and Aron.  It would have been perfect! I guess there’s always next time…”  Minki said and Jonghyun felt his face go red at the mention of himself and Minhyun as a couple.

“Minhyun- Minhyun would never agree to go on a date with me, that’s… that’s too big a stretch.”  Jonghyun argued, hoping that Minki didn’t notice how furiously he was blushing.

“You should have more confidence, Jonghyun.”  Minki told him throwing an arm across his shoulder.  “Anyone would be lucky to score a date with you.”

“That’s- That’s… You know that’s not true.”  Jonghyun insisted, blushing even more intensely, trying to pull away from Minki.  In response, Minki just embraced him even tighter.

“School heart throb Kim Jonghyun!” Minki crowed, holding Jonghyun so tightly it was uncomfortable.  “Adorable, perfect grades, sweet as sugar, what’s not to love?”

“Stop making things up!”  Jonghyun yelped, trying in vain to wiggle out of Minki’s embrace.  “Even if those things were true, I still have a flaw that’s pretty impossible to overlook.”

“Once anyone gets to know you they’ll realize that that’s inconsequential!” Minki insisted, the playful tone starting to leave his voice. 

“It’s not.”  Jonghyun said shortly, looking away from Minki.  Suddenly, Jonghyun wanted to retreat back to his dormitory and hide under his blankets and not have to talk to anyone.  “No one in their right mind wants to associate with creatures like me.” 

“Kim Jonghyun look at me.”  Minki told Jonghyun sternly, reaching out to turn Jonghyun’s face towards him.  Hesistantly, Jonghyun looked up into his friends eyes.  “Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that.  You’re so much more than your, erm, problem, and you know it.”

Jonghyun nodded, leaning in to hug Minki back as he blinked back the tears.

“And if anyone ever rejects you because of that reason.”  Minki continued, rubbing Jonghyun’s back soothingly.  “Tell me who and I’ll jinx the hell out of them for you.” 

Jonghyun laughed into Minki’s shoulder before pulling out of the embracing, hoping that Minki wouldn’t notice him wiping tears on his sleeve.  Usually Jonghyun wasn’t this temperamental, but when the full moon approached he always found that his emotions spilled out of him more intensely than usual.  “Thanks.”  He told Minki quietly after talking several long, deep breathes

“Aish, what am I going to do with you?”  Minki sighed, continuing to pat Jonghyun comfortingly as Jonghyun reached for a tissue to blow his nose.  “I suppose I’ll have to let Aron come with us to Hogsmeade for your sake, even if he is a coward.  I can’t let Hwang Minhyun slip through your fingers just because of Aron’s idiocy.”  Minki decided.  “Talk to Minhyun as much as you can, okay?  He’d be a fool not fall for your charms.”

“Okay.”  Jonghyun replied, voice still quavering a little.

*

Although Jonghyun preferred when the full moon falls on a weekend because he didn’t have to miss quite so many classes, most of the time he wasn’t so lucky.  That week, for instance, the night of the full moon was a Tuesday, so he could only go to class for the last part of the week.  He checked in to the hospital wing early Monday morning and the nurse quickly lead him to his customary secluded alcove in the back, concealed from the rest of the wing by thick white curtains.  As much as he wanted to just sleep, Jonghyun forced himself to pull his potions textbook out of his bag and reread the chapter that would be covered in the class he was missing that day.  As hard as he tried to concentrate, the words started to blur together and Jonghyun felt himself nodding off into sleep.

“Sleeping like that is bad for your spin, you know.”  Jonghyun was roused by several pokes to the side accompanied by Minki’s voice.  “Open your eyes, sleepy head, I brought you lunch.”

Only then did Jonghyun realize how hungry he felt.  He sat up too quickly and the text book fell off his lap with a loud clunk.  Jonghyun flinched at the sound, letting out an involuntary squeak. 

“Looks like someone’s eager.”  Minki laughed, bending down to pick up the book off the floor and place it on the table next to Jonghyun’s bed.  After taking care of the book, Minki handed Jonghyun a lunch tray piled with all of Jonghyun’s favorite foods.

“Thanks,” Jonghyun told him quickly before preceding to stuffing his face.

“Oh yeah I told Aron that he and Minhyun can join us in Hogsmeade this Saturday,” Minki informed Jonghyun casually as he took a bite.  “They’re going to meet us in the entrance hall at nine.”

“Mmmffh” 

“Finish eating before you speak!”  Minki reprimanded him, obviously suppressing a laugh.

“I thought the Hogsmeade visit wasn’t until next week.”  Jonghyun said after swallowing.

“It’s this weekend.” Minki reaffirmed.  “You should of see Aron’s face when I told him they could go with us.  I don’t think he could believe me at first, he just kept staring at me like this.”  Minki let his mouth hang open and made his eyes go wide.  Jonghyun laughed through a mouthful of food.  “What a doofus.”

Jonghyun spent the rest of the meal listening to Minki make fun of Aron.  When the bell chimed signifying the end of lunch period, Jonghyun was sad to see Minki leave.  Sighing, he reached for another textbook and continued trying to make up for everything he would miss in the classes he couldn’t attend that week.

*

Saturday morning dawned crisp and clear.  Although the wind was still chilly, as typical for late autumn, the temperature was slightly warmer that day.  Having had three days to recover from his transformation, Jonghyun felt pretty good.  As good as he ever could feel, anyway.

The nerves started to hit Jonghyun as he climbed the stairs from the Hufflepuff basement up to the Entrance Hall.  Earlier in the week Jonghyun had been so preoccupied with the full moon that he didn’t have time to worry about the fact that he’d be spending the entirety of that day with Hwang Minhyun.  At least Minki would be there for him. Jonghyun was pretty sure that Minki would be too busy teasing Aron to pay much attention to anything else though.  Jonghyun stumbled on the last step up the entrance hall and his foot caughts on the hem of his robe. Helpless, he fell flat on his face in the doorway to the entrance hall.

“Are you okay, Jonghyun?” 

Of course Minhyun had to be there early to witness Jonghyun’s shame.  Looking up from where he was sprawled on the floor, Jonghyun saw that Minhyun looked impeccably flawless as ever.  Jonghyun cursed himself under his breath, wondering why he thought he could somehow comport himself around Hwang Minhyun.

“F-fine.”  Jonghyun mumbled as he picked himself up off the floor and banished the dust off his robes with a spell. 

“Good.”  Minhyun said with a smile.  “Then I suppose we just need to wait for your friend Minki.”

Jonghyun made a sound of agreement and leaned against the wall as he waited.  Behind Minhyun, Aron was nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot.  Minhyun, on the other hand, seemed completely relaxed, absentmindedly humming a tune softly to himself.  Jonghyun hated how perfect Minhyun always sounded, even when he was just humming and not even really singing.  What right did anyone have to sound that good?  Jonghyun didn’t know what to do with himself.

Minki arrived five minutes after nine, greeting them all brightly and making no apology for his slight tardiness. The four of them checked in with their individual heads of house at the castle gates before heading down towards the village together in the chilly November sun.

Once they reached the Hogemeade, Minki insisted on going to Honeydukes first and proceeded to sweet talk Aron into buying him half of the goods in the shop.  Minhyun shot Jonghyun a bemused smile as Aron returned from the cashier with several bulging bags of sweets for Minki, who quickly tucked them into his robes before thanking Aron with a coy smile.  Judging by Minhyun’s expression, Jonghyun thought that he was probably aware of how Minki is messing with his friend.  Jonghyun also felt a little less awkward with someone else to share the burden of embarrassment of listening to Aron and Minki’s mildly cringe-worthy flirting.

After finishing at Honeydukes, the four of them nabbed a table at the Three Broomsticks and Minhyun ordered them all butterbeer before Minki could charm Aron into paying for more stuff for him. 

“Wow,” Minki said, catching Jonghyun’s eye with a knowing look and smiling at him “What a gentleman.”

Jonghyun kicked Minki under the table, wishing he would be more subtle.  Minki suppressed a yelp of pain by biting into his lip, and Jonghyun couldn’t help but feel a bit satisfied with his revenge.  Aron and Minki continued their flirty style of conversation, which Jonghyun did his best to tune out, choosing to focus his attention on his butterbeer.

“So Jonghyun,” Minhyun turned away from the couple and focused his gaze on Jonghyun, evidently also not wanting to be a part of their conversation.  “Are you going home for Christmas break?”

“My family would be mad at me if I didn’t.”  Jonghyun answered, fiddling with the handle of his mug so he didn’t have to look at Minhyun’s distractingly handsome face.

“I see.”  Minhyun continued.  “Is your family big then?”

“Not really, just me my parents and two older sisters.”  Jonghyun answered, proud of himself for keeping his composure.  “You?”

“I’m going home for Christmas too,” Minhyun said. “I have just have parents and one older sister.  Sometimes the extended family visits though.”

“Oh yeah, Minhyun.”  Minki said suddenly, evidently having been paying some attention to their conversation.  “I heard one of your great-great-great grandmothers or something was a veela, is that true?”

“Er, yeah there was a veela in my family a few generations back.”  Minhyun answered, looking a bit embarrassed.  “I don’t really resemble that side of the family much though, my sister has more of the looks of that side of the family than I do.”

“I don’t know, I think I can see the resemblance.”  Minki said, sounding deceptively casual.  “Jonghyun can too, right Jonghyun?”

Having just taken a sip, Jonghyun choked on his butterbeer, spitting the hot liquid all over himself and Minhyun.  Minhyun didn’t seem to notice though, as he quickly leaned over to try to help Jonghyun by slapping him on the back, which only made him splutter even more due to nerves.  When Jonghyun could finally breathe again, he apologized profusely for spitting butterbeer on Minhyun, wishing that he could run away back to the castle and hide himself in his bed in the Hufflepuff common room and never speak to Minhyun ever again.  Minhyun brushed off his apologies as if it was nothing, and cleaned both of them off with a quick spell.

When they turn back to Minki and Aron, Jonghyun found that Minki was trying to goad Aron into visiting the shrieking shack with him by accusing Aron of being afraid of ghosts.  Jonghyun internally groaned, aware of the origins of the rumors that the shrieking shack is haunted as he was, Jonghyun preferred to stay away from it.  He was sure that Minki would probably understand his reservations, but he couldn’t really communicate them to Minki while Aron and Minhyun were there listening.

“Come on guys, don’t you want to witness Aron peeing himself in fear at the shrieking shack?”  Minki asked excitedly, turning to Jonghyun and Minhyun.  “Let’s go!”

“I, um, I’ll stay behind.”  Jonghyun said, frantically racking his brain for an excuse.  “I need to go buy owl treats, you guys go on without me.

“I’ll stay too and keep Jonghyun company.”  Minhyun said unexpectedly.  “Be sure to tell us whether or not Aron actually wets himself, Minki.”

Aron made a noise of protest, but Minki was already nodding in agreement, grabbing his hand and pulling him out the door.  Jonghyun was left alone with Minhyun in awkward silence, suddenly wondering if it wouldn’t have been better to just agree to accompany Minki to the shrieking shack despite it all.

“So,” Minhyun said, his voice breaking through the silence.  “Let’s head to the post office and get your owl treats, shall we?”

Jonghyun nodded and stood up a little too swiftly, somehow managing to knock over a thankfully empty butterbeer mug on his way up.  Muttering a quick apology, he quickly cought the mug before it could shatter on the floor and set it back on the table.  Luckily, Minhyun doesn’t seem to notice his clumsiness.

They walked to the post office in relative silence, Minhyun tried to strike up a conversation several times, but Jonghyun was woefully unable to keep it going.  Every time he made eye contact with Minhyun his brain seemed to go fuzzy and his words couldn’t form properly in his brain.  Jonghyun was relieved to have a reprieve from the awkwardness when they finally reached the post office and walked past the numerous owls for hire to where the owl treats were sold.

“Do you know what kind you want to buy?”  Minhyun asked Jonghyun, glancing at the numerous options on the shelf.

“Potato likes this kind best.”  Jonghyun answered, motioning to a certain type and then grabbing three packs off the shelf.  When he turned around he found Minhyun doubled over giggling.

“What?”  Jonghyun asked, not really understanding what Minhyun found so amusing but glad to have the opportunity to hear him laugh like that. 

“You- You named your owl… Potato?!”  Minhyun got out between giggles and Jonghyun understood.  It was stupid for him not to realize that Potato wasn’t exactly a very normal pet name.

“Stop laughing, I got him when I was eight,” Jonghyun said, smiling in spite of himself.  “I thought it was a cool name at the time…”  Jonghyun leaves out the fact that this parents got him Potato as a get well present after he was bitten.

“W-what eight year old considers Potato to be a cool name!”  Minhyun snotted out, still unable to suppress the fit of giggles.  “You’re something else, Kim Jonghyun.”

“Whatever.”  Jonghyun said, attempting to look annoyed and failing.  “I’m going to go pay.”

Once finished at the Post office, Jonghyun and Minhyun met up with Minki and Aron again in Zonko’s.  Minhyun’s laughter didn’t die down until they were half way there.  If it was Minki, Jonghyun would be annoyed, but Minhyun’s laugh was too pleasant sounding for him to pretend to be mad convincingly.

“I didn’t pee myself!”  Aron announced defiantly as soon as Jonghyun and Minhyun found him and Minki looking at a display of dungbombs.

“Congratulations.”  Minhyun said, straight-faced.  “I always knew you could do it.”

Minki doubled over laughing and Aron went red with embarrassment, evidently only then having realized the ridiculousness of his declaration.

*

After their Hogsmeade trip, Aron and Minhyun started being more friendly towards Jonghyun when they saw him around the school.  If either of them saw Jonghyun in the corridors between classes they would greet him, and they often sat near Jonghyun or shared a table with him during the lessons Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw fifth years shared.

Jonghyun reasoned that they were probably only being nice to him to get into Minki’s good books, but nevertheless he appreciated having more people who are willing to talk to him.  Due to their new friendliness Jonghyun was also able to get used to Minhyun to the point where he could even form coherent sentences in his presence.  A part of Jonghyun had hoped that if he got to know Minhyun better his infatuation for him would gradually disappear, but instead it has the opposite effect.  The more he got to know Minhyun the more he seemed to like him.  Minhyun’s habits and mannerisms never lost their charm for Jonghyun.  Even when Aron and Minki would often get annoyed by Minhyun’s constant singing, Jonghyun still found it charming.  Minhyun was caring, kind, intelligent, and so so beautiful.  Jonghyun was screwed.

As a werewolf, Jonghyun knew it wasn’t a good idea for him to get involved with anyone.  Any association with creature like Jonghyun could ruin a person’s reputation, make them an outcast.   Because of this, Jonghyun knew he should avoid romantic feelings on principle.  He would never be able to pursue romance with anyone in good conscious, so it would be better for him if he just avoided crushing on anyone.  Unfortunately, he couldn’t seem to resist being attracted to Hwang Minhyun.  In effort to keep his mind off of Minhyun, Jonghyun tried drowning himself in his studies.

Due to O.W.L.s coming up in the spring, Jonghyun started spending more time in the library than he did in previous years.  At first, he asked Minki to join him, but Minki insisted that studying for O.W.L.s that early in the year was excessive and he wouldn’t begin until after winter break at the earliest.  As a result, Jonghyun started spending a lot of time studying by himself in secluded corners of the library.

One Thursday afternoon in early December Jonghyun was studying in one of his favorite secluded nooks and, discovering he needed a book he hadn’t previously thought to grab, he got up to go look for it.  Turning the corner into a different part of the library, Jonghyun heard a familiar voice coming from behind one of the book shelves as he passed through.  Unable to contain his curiosity, Jonghyun found a gap in the rows of books and peeked through.

On the other side of the bookshelf, Minhyun sat at a table with a first year student who looked vaguely familiar to Jonghyun.  There were multiple astronomy charts strewn across the table and Minhyun appeared to be patiently explaining something to the first year.

“Seonho, do you remember what planet this is?”  Jonghyun heard Minhyun gently as the boy.  

Jonghyun couldn’t help but notice how Seonho was leaning into Minhyun’s side, and how Minhyun reached up to pat the boy’s head affectionately when Seonho answered a question correctly.  Jonghyun backed away from the gap he was looking through, feeling a twinge of jealousy.  Despite how much he tried to suppress it, he couldn’t help but wish that he could take Seonho’s place just so he could lean on Minhyun like that and be on the receiving end of those affection-filled head pats.  Cursing himself, he continued on through the book shelves to go get the book he needed.

By the time Jonghyun finishes up in the library it was almost closing time and the librarian was already starting to sweep through the book shelves, telling students to pack up and go back to their respective dormitories.  Jonghyun hastily gathered up the mountain of books that has piled up around him over the last few hours and started frantically trying to remember where he got them all from to put them back on the shelves.  Technically, he could have just left all the books stacked up in a pile by the nook he was sitting in, but he felt bad making someone else clean up after him.

Standing on his toes to put the last of his books back in the shelf it belonged, Jonghyun felt himself loose his balance and the ground slip out from under his feet.  Cursing his clumsiness, he shut his eyes tight and prepared for impact, but surprisingly he didn’t fall flat on his back on the library floor.  Instead, a pair of steady arms caught him before he could fall, causing Jonghyun squeak in surprise.  Once he regained his balance, Jonghyun turned around to thank his savior and was faced with the attractive visage of Hwang Minhyun.

“M-Minhyun!”  Jonghyun said breathlessly, hyperaware that one of Minhyun’s hands was still resting on his shoulder.  “Thanks for… Thanks for catching me.”

“Don’t worry about it.”  Minhyun brushed him off with a smile.  “Let’s go, I think they’re about to lock the library.”

Jonghyun nodded and hurried after Minhyun, less than convinced that the librarian would care if she accidentally locked a few students in the library overnight.

“What were you here studying for?”  Minhyun asked Jonghyun as they walk towards the front.

“Just revising.” Jonghyun answered with a shrug.  “O.W.L.s this year, you know.”

“Wow, it’s really diligent of you to start this early.”  Minhyun said, and Jonghyun felt his ears get warm.  Jonghyun was still pondering how to reply when they reached the grand staircase and Minhyun is waved goodbye to him before he catching a bit of the staircase going to an upper floor. 

“Good night, Jonghyun”

Minhyun’s goodbye seemed to linger in Jonghyun’s mind as he caught the stairs down and headed back to the Hufflepuff basement.

*

Things continued much the same as Christmas break approached.  Minki and Aron danced around each other, neither of them willing to formally admit feelings to the other despite how obvious it was.  Minki pestered Jonghyun about his crush on Minhyun, but Jonghyun remained passive, still convinced that not pursuing anything was the best course of action.  He was happy to have the opportunity to be kind of friends with Minhyun.  It was more than he thought he’d ever achieve so he made himself content with the prospect.

Two days before break, Jonghyun was walking to his Arithmancy class when he heard Minhyun and Aron talking in a nearby classroom.

“Aron he’s so perfect I don’t know what to do.”  Jonghyun heard Minhyun say, and immediately froze in his tracks. Jonghyun had never heard Minhyun say anything like that before or use such a desparate tone of voice.  He was so shocked he almost didn’t take in what Aron said in response.

“I never thought I’d see this day.”  Jonghyun heard Aron say through the wall.  “Implacable school beauty Hwang Minhyun. Completely whipped by a simple crush.”

Jonghyun’s heart dropped at the word crush and he ducked into a nearby secret passageway as he realized that Aron and Minhyun were about to emerge into the corridor he was walking through.  Jonghyun hadn’t thought about the possibility that Minhyun might find someone and the pain watching that happen might cause him.  Biting his lip hard to prevent the tears from escaping his eyes, Jonghyun ran the rest of the way to the Arithmancy classroom.

*

Minki found Jonghyun moping in one of his customary nooks in the library after dinner.  Since overhearing Aron and Minhyun’s conversation that afternoon, Jonghyun had been careful to avoid all of his friends, taking roundabout routes through the castle, eating dinner quickly and scampering out of the Great Hall as early as he could manage… but it was stupid of him not to realize that Minki would notice and come find him.    

Minki sat down next to Jonghyun without saying anything and wrapped an arm around his waist.  A sniffle escaped Jonghyun as Minki started comfortingly stroking his side. Jonghyun turned in to Minki, curling himself into his friend’s chest as the sobs started to come in earnest.  Minki let him get the tears out, holding Jonghyun and rocking slightly, rubbing slow circles into his back. 

“What’s up?”  Minki asked Jonghyun softly once the sniffles slowed to less frequent intervals.  It took Jonghyun a few tries to get the words out.

“Min-Minhyun… he- ” Jonghyun started to say through the sobs, but Minki cut in before he had the chance to say more.

“What’d he do?  Did he hurt you?” Minki demanded.  “If he did I’ll go find him right now and jinx the hell out of him.  Or I could probably talk Aron into filling his bed with dungbombs if you think that’d be preferable.  Give me the word and I’ll make it happen.”

Jonghyun shook his head quickly, not wanting Minki to misunderstand. “He-He didn’t d-do anything…”  Jonghyun explained.  “It’s just... just… I was so foolish to let myself like him.”

“Shhh…Jonghyun letting yourself like people isn’t foolish.”  Minki comforted, hugging Jonghyun a bit tighter.  “What happened?”

“Minhyun… he-he has a crush on someone.” Jonghyun took a deep breaths in between his words to try and compose himself. “I h-heard him and Aron talking about it earlier.”  A fresh wave of tears washed over him and he hid his face in Minki’s shoulder.  “I knew I’d never have a chance with him and I was okay with that, but… but… knowing I’ll have to watch him be with s-someone else… it-it-it…it hurts, Minki.”

Jonghyun dissolved back into full on sobbing and Minki continued to hold him close, stroking his hair and softly murmuring words of comfort.  Minki was the only person Jonghyun trusted to see him like this, the only friend he could tell the most intimate secrets to, although Jonghyun really has any other friends anyway.

“Listen, Jonghyun, you’re way out of his league anyway.  You deserve better.  I promise someday you’ll find someone who will be way more worthy of you and adore you and that’s a thousand times better than Hwang Minhyun.”  Minki assured him.  “Break starts soon, and then you won’t have to even see him anymore for a while.  Use that time to forget about him.  And then when we come back to school I’ll help you find someone better.” 

Jonghyun continued to weep into Minki embrace for several more minutes before finally pulling away, wiping the last tears off of his cheeks.

“Thanks Minki.”  Jonghyun murmured weakly as they stood up.

“No problem, this is what friends are for.”  Minki told him firmly, giving Jonghyun one last pat on the back.  “I can still get Aron to but dungbombs in Minhyun’s bed if you want.”

Giggling softly in spite of himself, Jonghyun shook his head.

Chapter Text

Coming back from break, Jonghyun did feel a little less heartbroken and tried his best to keep his distance from Minhyun.  Unfortunately, due to the fact that Minhyun was Aron’s best friend and Aron and Minki were, if anything, even more flirty with each other after break, staying away from Minhyun wasn’t very easy.  Jonghyun ended up spending a lot more time alone, studying in the Hufflepuff common room since that way he didn’t have to risk running into Minhyun in the library or in an empty classroom.  Jonghyun didn’t really mind, it just got a little lonely sometimes.

Two weeks after coming back from break, Jonghyun was helping Minki with his transfiguration essay and reached into his bag for a quill only to brush against something unfamiliar.  Jonghyun wrapped his hand around the foreign object and pulled it out to find a bulging bag of his favorite Honeydukes toffee. 

“Minki did you put these in my bag?”  Jonghyun asked, holding up the toffees.

“I’m not that good of a friend.”  Minki answered, shaking his head.  “Maybe you bought them last time we went to Hogsmeade and forgot about them.”

“Can’t be, I never buy candy for myself.”  Jonghyun dismissed the idea.  “Someone must have dropped them into my bag on accident, how in Merlin’s name am I going to find the owner so I can give them back…”  Jonghyun whined, dropping his head on the table.

“Jonghyun look, there’s something attached to it!”  Minki pointed out suddenly and Jonghyun looked up at where Minki was pointing and noticed a folded slip of paper attached to the top of the package.  Hesitantly, Jonghyun unfolded it and read:

Dearest Jonghyun

Here’s a sweet treat for a sweet person.  Please enjoy.

Sincerely,

One of your many admirers

Upon finishing reading, Jonghyun felt himself go red and buried his face in his arms, dropping the note on the table another with the package of sweets.  Minki quickly made a grab for it before Jonghyun could think to prevent him from seeing it.  Before Jonghyun could stop him, Minki read the note aloud, giggling all the while.

“Wow Jonghyun, this secret admirer of yours is really cheesy.”  Minki remarked once he finished reading.  “I take it this is the first time you’ve received anything from them?”

Jonghyun nodded into his arms, face still burning.

“Any idea who it might be?”  Minki asked curiously.  Jonghyun shook his head.  “You’re sure? You haven’t noticed anyone staring at you in class or stalking you or anything?”  Jonghyun shook his head again, this time more vigorously.  Minki sighed.  “Well, keep me updated on the situation.  This is so exciting! Once you figure it out who it is you have to tell me, okay?”

“Yes, Minki.”  Jonghyun muttered back, resigning himself to that fate, knowing that Minki would interrogate him until he got answers even if Jonghyun didn’t want to tell him.

*

Following the first instance, Jonghyun received more little presents from his secret admirer every week.  They were mainly sweets, notes of encouragement, new quills, and that sort of thing.  Sometimes they were delivered to him with the morning post, sometimes he found them in his bag.  One time he even found a bouquet of flowers with his name upon entering the Herbology greenhouse for class, and while he appreciated the thought, it very embarrassing and caused both the Gryffindors and his fellow Hufflepuffs to stare at him for the entirety of the lesson.  Jonghyun wished his secret admirer would be less flashy, and after that whoever it is seemed to take note of Jonghyun’s reaction and all the gifts he sent to Jonghyun after that were more unobtrusive. 

Jonghyun wasn’t sure how to feel about having a secret admirer.  On one hand, he was touched that anyone would go to the trouble to do so much for him, but on the other hand he felt bad because he knew that he would inevitably have to reject them if they ever choose to reveal themselves and confess to him directly.  Jonghyun still held firm in the opinion that it was better for him not to let anyone else get involved with this life and the myriad of issues within it.  At the very least, he was happy that thinking about his secret admirer helped him keep his mind off of Minhyun, who was still very present in Jonghyun’s daily life, smiling and chatting to Jonghyun during their shared classes and whether he saw Jonghyun about the castle really.

As the full moon approached, Jonghyun started to feel tired and under the weather like he normally did.  His secret admirer must have noticed, because he gave Jonghyun some cold medicine and a note pleading for him to look after his health through the post.  Jonghyun appreciated the thought, but he really has no need for the medicine and was once again reminded that however much anyone seemed to care for him, he should do his best to retain as much distance between him and others as possible.

*

“Hey Jonghyun, were you sick on Monday?”  Minhyun asked him after sitting down at the table beside him for Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw’s shared History of Magic class.  “I missed you in transfiguration.”

“Yeah,” Jonghyun answered carefully, feeling the shiver of anxiety that always coursed through him whether someone took note of his monthly absences. “I’m fine now.  Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m glad you’re okay!”  Minhyun told him.  “Do you want me to lend you my notes from that day? Or we could study what was covered in the class you missed in the library together later if you want.” 

“It’s okay.”  Jonghyun waved him off quickly. “I already talked to the professor about it, I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Minhyun said and Jonghyun thought he looked a little disappointed, although he couldn’t fathom why that might be.

After class Jonghyun tried to slip away before Minhyun and Aron, because especially after that Minhyun had pointed out one of his absences, he wanted to make himself as scarce as possible.  Unfortunately, Jonghyun didn’t succeed; he was a few steps out of the classroom when he heard Aron call out to him.

“Hey Jonghyun!”  Aron called, and Jonghyun stopped in the hallway and waited for Aron and Minhyun to catch up with him.  “Can I get your opinion on something?”

“Of course.” Jonghyun said, careful to keep the tone of his voice even and friendly.  “What is it?”

“Do you think…” Aron started,  pausing to glance around as if afraid of being over heard.

“I think that classroom over there is empty.”  Minhyun said after Aron’s pause stretched on for more than several moments.  “We can probably go there to talk, is that okay with you, Jonghyun?”

Jonghyun nodded his assent and the three of them moved into the deserted classroom.

“Do you think Minki would accept if I asked him to go out with me?”  Aron blurted out all in one short breath that he had evidently been holding once the door closed behind them.  Jonghyun breathed out in relief, glad that the topic Aron wanted his opinion on doesn’t pertain to his secret.

“Probably.”  Jonghyun said carefully, not wanting to ruin any potential leverage Minki had over Aron.  “To be honest I think he’s disappointed you’ve taken this long to ask him.”

Minhyun let out a little giggle as Aron’s face turned a brilliant shade of crimson. 

“Do you have any ad… advice on the matter?”  Aron asked awkwardly, still blushing and impressively brilliant shade of red.

“Just do you best to impress him.  Minki has pretty high standards.”  Jonghyun said, shrugging.  “Is that all?  I need to go get something from my dormitory before my next class…” 

“Just… Just promise you won’t tell Minki?”  Aron asked, rubbing the back of his head.  “I want to try to surprise him.”

“I won’t.”  Jonghyun assured him.  “Don’t worry about it. See you around, then.”  Jonghyun gave them one last awkward smile before exiting the classroom as quickly as possible. 

*

In the end, it took Aron a few weeks to finally confess to Minki.  Jonghyun was constantly anticipating the news whenever he saw Minki in and out of class, but it wasn’t until early February that Minki found Jonghyun in his customary library nook and loudly announced:

“Aron finally got up the nerve and asked me out!”

“Minki shhh, I’m happy for you but not so loud!”  Jonghyun whisper-yelled peevishly, closing the textbook he was reading and setting it on the floor.  “You’ll get me thrown out of the library.  So how was it?”

“He was obviously terrified,” Minki said with an air of pride. “But he got the words out and asked me to meet him in the entrance hall after dinner next Friday.  I’m looking forward to seeing what he has planned, but I suppose there’s not much we’ll be able to do in the castle…”

“Why not just wait until the next Hogsmeade trip then?”  Jonghyun asked.

“Because next Friday is Valentine’s day of course!”  Minki reminded Jonghyun, his excitement carrying the volume of his voice back up to dangerous levels.  Jonghyun gave him a sharp look and Minki put a hand to his mouth and shoot Jonghyun an apologetic look.  “What about you though, Jonghyun? How’s that secret admirer of yours?”

“They sent me a few sweets this week.”  Jonghyun answered with a shrug.  “Not as many notes as before. Maybe they’re starting to lose interest.”

“They’re probably preparing to do something really big for you for Valentine’s”  Minki speculated, running a hand through his hair thoughtfully.

“I hope not.”  Jonghyun grumbled.  “When I got that bouquet in Herbology I thought I was going to die of embarrassment.  I can’t handle another grandious display of affection, I hope whoever it is lays off soon.”

“Come on Jonghyun, aren’t you at least a little curious who it is?”  Minki queried. Jonghyun shook his head.

“Even if I did like the person I’d still have to reject them.”  Jonghyun explained tiredly, looking down and observing the way his robes fold over his legs which are curled under him.

“You can’t wall yourself off from people forever, Jonghyun.”  Minki argued.  “It’s not good for you.”

“It’s good for everyone else.” 

“Don’t ever say that!”  Minki said fiercely, stepping forward and reaching out to grip Jonghyun’s shoulder.  “That’s not true.  You know it isn’t.”

“Whatever,” Jonghyun said dismissively, brushing Minki’s hand away. He knew that it was pointless to argue further.  He sighed and reached down to grab a text book off of the floor before him.  Minki opened his mouth, likely intending to further elaborate on his point, but Jonghyun cut in before he could say anymore.  “I need to study more.  I hope your date with Aron next Friday is nice.”

*

Minki did turn out to be right about one thing:  Jonghyun’s secret admirer certainly wasn’t planning on giving up soon.  Over the weekend Jonghyun received two love poems and another bag of sweets, but the worst of it didn’t come until Monday morning.  Jonghyun tore open the letter addressed to him in the handwriting he had learned to associate with his secret admirer and found a message instead of a poem.

Dear Jonghyun

Please meet me this Friday at 8:30 pm on the sixth floor in classroom 6A

Jonghyun quickly crumpled the paper up in his fist in the pocket of his robes.  He knew he shouldn’t meet his secret admirer, and wasn’t as if he could go anyway.  Still, he felt regretful.  Even though he had known that nothing good could come of all the gifts and sweet poems and notes he had received, he was sadder than he should have been knowing that it would all come to an end when he ignored his secret admirer and didn’t go to the sixth floor on Friday night.  His already irritably mood intensified, and he left the Great hall for potions without finishing his breakfast. 

He was glad that the Hufflepuffs had potions with the Gryffindors so there was no Minki by his side to notice his foul mood and he didn’t have to put up a façade of a good humor and chat to Aron and Minhyun.  Instead he contented himself with watching Daniel yelp and jump away from his caldron when a cat hair fell into his potion from his robes and caused his potion to emit bright green sparks and exude a loud popping noise.  Jonghyun felt morbidly satisfied that he wasn’t the only one having a rough day, but then felt guilty about it a second later and went over to help Daniel fix his potion.

When he left the dungeon for lunch break, Jonghyun’s mood hadn’t improved and he debated skipping lunch, but his stomach was rumbling and he already felt faint from hunger so he decided against the idea.  He wolfed down as much food as possible in a short period of time and then left the Great Hall to go sulk in the library for the rest of break.  He could almost forget about the whole secret admirer business as he immersed himself in a chapter of a history of magic textbook which he actually found kind of interesting.  Unfortunately, before he could read more than a few pages, Minki found him and interrupted his repose.

“You know, at the rate you’re going I think you’ll be ready to take N.E.W.T.s at the end of the term.”  Minki said as he sat down next to Jonghyun, and Jonghyun looked up from his book and did his best not to let his bad mood show.  “Did you get anything from your secret admirer this morning?”

Of course Minki had to mention that topic.  Jonghyun felt himself tighten his grip around the page he was flipping to the point that the edge of it began to tear.  He was careful not to look up at Minki but he knew that his friend had probably already figured out that something was up from Jonghyun’s reaction.  Resigning himself to the fate of letting Minki know what had happened, Jonghyun dug in his pocket until he found the crumpled up message he received that morning and tossed it to Minki.

“You should go,” Minki said immediately after reading the note.  “Where’s the harm in it? You wouldn’t want to keep your secret admirer waiting.”

Jonghyun grunted in disagreement, eyes still fixed stubbornly on the pages of the book in his lap.

“I don’t understand why you insist on making yourself miserable like this, Jonghyun.”  Minki sighed.  “If you really didn’t want to go meet your secret admirer, you wouldn’t be upset like this.  So why don’t you just go, Jonghyun.”

“You know why!”  Jonghyun snapped, finally shutting the book and looking up at Minki.  “Stop pretending like it’s nothing, Minki.  Once anyone finds out what I am they won’t want anything to do with me, and rightly so.  Nothing you say can change that.”

“Did I stop being your friend when I found out you were a werewolf?”  Minki asked pointedly.  Unable to hold Minki’s gaze, Jonghyun looked down at his feet.

“No.”  Jonghyun admitted softly.

“So why would you think that way?”  Minki asked pointedly.  “It’s bad enough that some people, only some people, Jonghyun, discriminate against werewolves.  For Merlin’s sake, don’t discriminate against yourself, Jonghyun!” 

Jonghyun felt a tear roll down his cheek and then Minki’s arms were wrapping around him. 

“Please, Jonghyun.”  Minki continued in a softer tone.  “Just try to believe in other people.  You’re a good person.  Believe that people will accept you despite being a werewolf.  I know it’s scary, but you can’t keep imposing solitude on yourself like this forever!”

“Even if… Even if I wanted to go,” Jonghyun said in a shaky voice after several long moments.  “I- I can’t.”

“Why not, Jonghyun?”  Minki asked gently.

“F-Friday night… Friday night is the… is the... i-is the full moon!”  Jonghyun told Minki with a laugh that twisted in his throat and came out as a sob.  Minki’s arms tightened around Jonghyun.

“I’ll go for you then.”  Minki said quickly. “I’ll explain that you can’t come and get your secret admirer to choose another day for you to meet them.  No problem.”

“N-no,” Jonghyun shook his head.  “You can’t.  You have your date with Aron.”

“Who care?”  Minki said.  “I’ll just make him take me out another time.  Valentine’s day is such a cheesy day for a date anyway.  It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter.”  Jonghyun argued.  “I’m not letting you bail on Aron after it took so long for him to confess to you.  It’s… It’s fine.  Don’t worry about it.”

“If you’re sure.”  Minki gave in.  “But tell me if you change your mind any time between now and then.  My offer still stands.” Jonghyun laughed softly through his tears.

“Thanks Minki.”

*

Minki kept asking Jonghyun if he was sure he didn’t want Minki to go meet his secret admirer for him, right up to dinner on Friday, when he brought food to the hospital wing and ate with Jonghyun rather than eating in the Great Hall with the rest of the students.  Jonghyun was grateful for the support, but felt guilty for troubling Minki so much and worried that someone would notice Minki’s absence from the Great Hall.  The two of them talked about light, easy topics as they ate, keeping Jonghyun’s mind off of what inevitably awaited him once the moon rose.

“Do you think it would be too much if I changed into my dress robes before I went to meet Aron?”  Minki queried.

“It’d be a bit…”  Jonghyun started, not quite sure how to put words to his thoughts. He took a gulp of his wolfsbane potion before continuing, shuddering at the foul taste as he swallowed.  “Well, no one’s gonna stop you, but for a first date…  Well, I suppose depending on the impression you’re trying to give-”

“I suppose you’re right.”  Minki murmured, scratching his head thoughtfully.  “It’s the only thing I can think off to throw him off, though.  I can’t let him think everything will be easy from here on just because I agreed to go out with him.”

“I’m sure he already knows that.”  Jonghyun giggled, feeling a little sorry for Aron.  “You could just do nothing for a while and lull him into a false sense of security.”

“There’s merit to that idea I suppose,” Minki admitted, keeping a serious expression for a moment longer before joining Jonghyun in laughter.  They giggled together, making more and more immature jokes at Aron’s expense.  It was moments like those when Jonghyun was most grateful to have Minki as his friend.   Unfortunately, only a few minutes later the matron appeared to tell them that it was nearly time for Minki to leave so that Jonghyun could have privacy when he transformed.

“You’re really sure you don’t want me to-”  Minki started to ask Jonghyun again as he leaned forward to give Jonghyun a quick hug before he left the hospital wing.

“I’m sure, Minki.”  Jonghyun said firmly.   “Have fun on your date, Minki.”

Minki smiled and waved Jonghyun goodbye before getting up and closing the curtains around Jonghyun’s bed for him.  Jonghyun drained the last of his potion as he heard Minki’s footsteps left the hospital wing, leaving him alone.  He laidback on his bed and stares at the ceiling, nothing left to do but wait for his unescapable transformation.

Despite how long it had been since Jonghyun was bitten, the transformations were still never become easy for Jonghyun.  He grimaced and shut his eyes tight as he felt his bones start to reshape themselves beneath his flesh and hair spout all over his body.  The process of transformation was uncomfortable, painful, and Jonghyun loathed it.  Once completely in his wolf form, Jonghyun shifted himself into a more comfortable position and tried to sleep, even though he knew he had no hope of slumbering through the entire night.  His wolf instincts, while mostly tamed by the wolfsbane potion, kept him too alert to stay asleep for very long.  He found himself thinking of his secret admirer, who was waiting him on the six floor by then, probably wondering why he wasn’t coming.  Jonghyun wondered what his secret admirer would think if they could see him then.  Most likely, they would regret giving him their affections and want nothing more to do with Jonghyun.

*

Minki visited Jonghyun first thing the next morning, barging into Jonghyun’s secluded corner with several pieces of toast in his hands when Jonghyun was still asleep, only having returned to his human form a few hours previously.  Jonghyun blinked and yawned, roused by the sound of Minki pulling back his curtains.  His body still ached from his bones morphing in and out of his werewolf form.

“Minki?  Why’re you here so early, you know I need sleep after- after nights like last night.”  Jonghyun grumbled, punctuating the end of his sentence with a loud yawn.

“Sorry Jonghyun, I just couldn’t wait to tell you-”  Minki started to say in an excited whisper.

“If this is just some detail about your date with Aron then it can wait for a few more hours, when I’ve actually had some sleep.”  Jonghyun grumbled into his pillow, rolling over to face away from Minki.

“I know who your secret admirer is.”  Minki blurted out and Jonghyun sat up quickly and promptly began rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“W-wha?”  Jonghyun stuttered out, unable to make sense of the situation.  “How? Who is it?”

“Aron told me.”  Minki explained quickly.

“How does Aron know? Are they a Ravenclaw?”  Jonghyun demanded, now fully awake.

“You’ll find out soon enough.”  Minki said in lieu of explanation and Jonghyun stared at him in confusion.  “He agreed to meet you on tomorrow night, your secret admirer that is, same place and same time as you were supposed to yesterday.”

“Minki you know I can’t do that.”  Jonghyun sighed in exasperation, feeling himself deflate a little

“You can and you will.”  Minki asserted stubbornly. 

“Just tell me who it is!”  Jonghyun pleaded, but his friend remains unmoved.

“Go find out for yourself tomorrow.”  Minki said dismissively, glancing down at his watch.  “I told Aron I’d meet him in the library soon.  I’ll leave you to catch up on your sleep then.”

“CHOI MINKI!”  Jonghyun yelled as he watched his friend skitter away and out of the hospital wing without heeding him in the slightest.  Jonghyun let out a big sigh and fell back on his bed, too tired to try to think over his predicament.  As sleep reclaimed him, he cursed at Minki under his breathe, wishing that his friend’s pretty bleached hair would dry up and fallout overnight.

It took Jonghyun the rest of that day and the better part of Sunday to decide that he would go and meet his secret admirer after all.  Jonghyun figured that at the very least he owed them thanks for all the presents they had given him up to that point, and that it would be better for him to turn them down in person instead of just ignoring them until they lost interest.

Jonghyun still couldn’t fathom who could have taken so much interest in him.  The only person he talked to regularly is Minki, and while he knew Minki enjoyed pulling pranks, Jonghyun didn’t think his friend would go that far.  Apart from Minki, the only people in the castle who he felt he might be able to call friends were Aron and Minhyun, but Aron obviously liked Minki and Minyun also had a crush on someone so Jonghyun ruled both of them out.  Jonghyun supposed that it was probably better that his mysterious secret admirer wasn’t someone he knew very well because that would make it easier for him to turn them down and it would be less awkward afterwards.

Knowing that he would soon have to face his admirer, Jonghyun took his time eating dinner Sunday night, lingering at the Hufflepuff table for several long minutes after he finished eating.  Part of him wanted to just go back to the Hufflepuff dormitory and not go meet his secret admirer after all, but the braver part of him won out and at 8:15 he began making his way to the grand staircase and up to the sixth floor.

*

The last thing Jonghyun expected to see upon opening the door to classroom 6A was Hwang Minhyun.  Jonghyun could hear someone singing softly in the room from the hallway before he entered the room, but he was thinking too hard to really process it.  Minhyun turned toward the sound of the door closing behind Jonghyun, ceasing his singing.  He smiled at Jonghyun so sweetly that Jonghyun was surprised that he didn’t melt into a pool of liquid embarrassment on the floor.  Minhyun stepped forward and offered Jonghyun a bouquet of fragrant flowers similar the one that his secret admirer left him in the Herbology green house.

“For you.”  Minhyun murmured softly, eyes fixed on Jonghyun, smile never leaving his lips.

In his dumbstruck state, Jonghyun accepted unconsciously, made speechless by the fact that his secret admirer, the person who has taken so much care to send him sweets and love notes, was none other than the person he had been trying so hard to let go of his affections for: beautiful, perfect, Hwang Minhyun.  Jonghyun felt himself blush crimson as he looked down at the flowers Minhyun had just given him.  He couldn’t help but feel a little happy for a split second, but then the reality that he was still going to have to reject Minhyun no matter how he felt sunk in.

“Do you like them?”  Minhyun asked eagerly.  Not trusting himself with words, Jonghyun just nodded. Minhyun reached out and took Jonghyun’s free hand in his own.  His hand was warm and gentle and the contact made Jonghyun’s heart speed up.

“I really like you, Jonghyun.”  Minhyun told him softly. “Will you go to Hogsmeade with me on next weekend? Not with Minki and Aron, just the two of us?”  Minhyun continued hesitantly when Jonghyun didn’t respond.  “As a, you know, as a date?”

Jonghyun took a deep breathe to steel himself and then removed his hand from Minhyun’s.  Minhyun looked down at him questioningly. 

“I really like you Minhyun, and I’m really grateful for all the gifts and notes and things you’ve been giving me, but I… I-I can’t accept your feelings.”  Jonghyun finally said, unable to meet Minhyun’s eyes as he spoke.

“You only see me as a friend?”  Minhyun said, and Jonghyun glanced back up and saw the sadness and disappointment in his eyes.  Jonghyun hated himself for causing that. “Can’t you at least give me a chance, Jonghyun?”

“N-no, it’s not that I don’t see you as more than a friend, Minhyun.”  Jonghyun tried to explain.  “I just can’t- it’s better if you don’t get involved with me, Minhyun.”

“Why?”  Minhyun asked, hurt evident in his expression.

“It just is!”  Jonghyun insisted.  “Trust me, you would regret it if you did.”

“But why, Jonghyun?”  Minhyun asked again, voice becoming even more desperate.  “How can I regret it if you won’t even let me try.”

“I’m sorry, Minhyun.”  Jonghyun’s voice broke as it became ever more difficult to control his emotions.  “It’s just better for you not to get too close to me. Please try to move on.”

“Why won’t you at least give me a reason, Jonghyun?”  Minhyun whispered, and Jonghyun feels his heart break.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”  Jonghyun moved to leave the classroom but Minhyun stepped in front of him, blocking the door with his body.  Jonghyun halted before him and waited patiently for him to move aside

“Please, Jonghyun.”  Minhyun pleaded.  “If- if you really do like me, why can’t you at least tell me why we can’t be together?”

“I’m sorry.”  Jonghyun repeated himself.  He wished Minhyun would just let him leave, he didn’t think he could hold the tears threatening to escape from the corners of his eyes at bay for much longer…

“Please Jonghyun.”  And at the sound of that last whispered plea Jonghyun finally snapped.

“It’s because I’m a werewolf, okay!”  Jonghyun shouted in frustration.  Before him, Minhyun blinked in surprise.

“Oh, is that why you’re in the hospital wing for much? What does that have anything to do with-”

“I’ll always be an outcast in wizarding society. A half-breed.  And anyone who associates with me will become an outcast too.”  Jonghyun said, voice becoming quiet again as the tears ran down his cheeks.  “I can’t do that to you Minhyun.”

Minhyun opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Jonghyun pushed past him and ran away down the corridor back to the Hufflepuff dormitory where he knew Minhyun wouldn’t be able to follow him.

Chapter Text

“Jonghyun I just don’t understand you.”  Minki berated Jonghyun then next day when he finally found Jonghyun where he was studying in an empty classroom on the fourth floor.  The Hufflepuff common room had been too noisy to get anything done and Jonghyun had known that Minki would find him if he went to the library.  “You spend practically four years mooning after Minhyun and then when he returns your feelings you reject him.  I get that you’re trying to put others before yourself and be noble and shit, but at this point it’s masochistic!”

“I don’t expect you to understand, Minki.”  Jonghyun said tiredly.  “But will you please stop bothering me about it? I need to catch up on everything I missed when I was in the hospital wing.”

“No Jonghyun, I will not stop bothering you about it!”  Minki exclaimed, the volume of his voice rising.  “Not until you get it into your head that letting yourself be happy isn’t going to ruin anyone’s life!”

“That’s easy for you to say!”  Jonghyun snapped back, feeling anger rise up within him at Minki’s words.  “You didn’t have one side of your family disown you, your parents, and your siblings for something you couldn’t help!” Jonghyun continued, now shouting.  “My muggle grandparents would probably disown us too if they knew, but my parents just decided not to tell them!  Have you even told your parents that your best friend is a werewolf? Or are you too afraid of how they’ll respond!”

“I’ll write to my family about it right now if it makes you stop isolating yourself!”  Minki shouted back.  “And I don’t care even if they do get mad! Because you’re my friend and I care about you, Jonghyun!”

“Please don’t.”  Jonghyun pleaded, his voice barely more than a whisper, anger having melted away into fear and sadness.  “Don’t ruin your life for me.”

“Nothing I could do for you would ruin my life.”  Minki said with exasperation.  “Please come to your senses, Jonghyun.”  When Jonghyun didn’t reply Minki glanced down at his watch for a brief moment.  “I have to go, but don’t you dare think that we’ve finished talking about this.”

The door slammed shut as Minki exited, and Jonghyun couldn’t help but worry that he had just ruined the only friendship he had. Unable to get his mind back on studying, he put his head down on his text book and let his tears leak out across the pages.

Most of his exchanges with Minki over the next week were similar.  Despite Jonghyun efforts to change the subject, Minki continued to pester Jonghyun about his rejection of Minhyun.  Jonghyun started confining himself to his dormitory and the Hufflepuff common room between lessons, knowing than those were the only places where Minki couldn’t follow him.  Aron and Minhyun continued to sit near Jonghyun during lessons, but Jonghyun did his best to talk as little as possible, answering their questions and inquiries in short, simple sentences.  Minhyun continued to send Jonghyun gifts and notes through the post, which just made Jonghyun feel worse about everything.  Aron seemed confused by the whole situation, evidently neither Minhyun nor Minki had told him the full details.  On Wednesday, when Jonghyun was coming back to the castle from Care of Magical Creatures, Aron caught up with him.

“Hey Jonghyun, what’s going on with you and Minhyun?”  Aron asked, wasting no time getting to the point.  “I know he confessed to you, but he’s refusing to tell me what happened and Minki would only say that you’re being stupid.”  Aron gave Jonghyun an apologetic smile and scratched the back of his head.  “Minhyun has been sulking since he confessed… is it because you rejected him? Or did something else happen?”

“It’s… complicated.”  Jonghyun said slowly, knowing that Aron probably wouldn’t be satisfied with that kind of answer but not knowing how else to reply.

“Why won’t anyone tell me anything…”  Aron bemoaned.  “All of you seem unhappy, and not knowing why is making me unhappy too.”

“I’m sorry.”  Jonghyun sighed, resigning himself to explaining some of it.  “Basically… well I do like Minhyun, but for various, erm, personal reasons it’s a bad idea for me to be in a relationship with anyone.  Minki disagrees.”

“So you did refuse Minhyun.”  Aron stated, and Jonghyun nodded in confirmation. “I won’t ask what your personal reasons are, but Minhyun’s a pretty understanding person, so whatever your personal issues are they probably won’t really bother him.  He really likes you, so I’m guessing that your rejection is probably what’s got him so down lately.”

“I’m sorry that we got you involved in all this.”  Jonghyun apologized.  “And I’m sorry if Minki’s been weird because of it.  You two should be celebrating finally getting together.”

“Don’t worry about getting me involved, Jonghyun. You’re all my friends so I was just concerned.”  Aron told him.  “Minki is always weird, it has nothing to do with whatever’s going on with you.  And I mean that in the most affectionate way possible of course.”

Unsure of how else to respond, Jonghyun just laughed and said thank you.  In a few short moments, Jonghyun and Aron reached the Entrance Hall and turn away from each other towards their different respective common rooms.  Just as Jonghyun turned away to go downstairs, he heard Aron call out to him one more time.

“Good luck with everything, Jonghyun!”

*

There was a Hogsmeade trip planned for the weekend, and normally Jonghyun would have looked forward to spending it with Minki, Minhyun, and Aron.  This time however, due to the fact that Jonghyun was avoiding the former two, he elected to stay behind in the castle.  Jonghyun expected that the Hogsmeade trip will get Minki out of the castle, leaving him free to study in his usual spot in the library without the danger of his friend coming to bother him.  At first, his prediction seemed to be correct.  All of the older students seemed to have left the castle, so the library was nearly deserted.  Thinking himself safe, Jonghyun got in a good hour of revision before he heard someone walking through the bookshelves and towards his nook.  The figure was too tall to be Minki, so at first Jonghyun thought it was a stranger just looking for a book in that section, but the person got closer and closer, and then stepped out into Jonghyun’s study corner.  It was Hwang Minhyun.  Why couldn’t Minhyun have just gone to Hogsmeade like everyone else?

Not seeing any other solutions apart from running out of the library, Jonghyun opted to just ignore Minhyun and hope that he would just pass by and leave Jonghyun alone.  Jonghyun said nothing and quickly looked back down at his textbook.  Minhyun halted before Jonghyun and just stood there for a few long awkward moments, then, to Jonghyun’s surprise, he sat down on the floor next to Jonghyun’s bench, picked up one of the textbooks at Jonghyun’s feet, opened it and appeared to start reading.  Jonghyun stared down at him dumbstruck for several minutes.  Upon seeing Minhyun approach, Jonghyun had expected Minhyun to try to talk to him or something.  Minhyun just sitting down at his feet, almost as if Jonghyun wasn’t even there, was beyond baffling to Jonghyun.  It took Jonghyun quite a while to compose himself enough to form a question.

“Minhyun, what are you doing here?”  Jonghyun asked.

“Studying.”  Minhyun answered casually, not even looking up from his, no Jonghyun’s, textbook.

“And why,” Jonghyun took a deep breathe to collect himself.  “Would best-in-our-year, genius Hwang Minhyun skip a Hogsmeade trip to study?”

“I’m not the best in our year, I’m pretty sure that’s you.”  Minhyun stated and Jonghyun scoffed; only then did Minhyun look up from the book at Jonghyun.  “My marks on the last Defense against the Dark Arts essay were the poorest I’ve had all year, and my grade in my other classes are starting to go down too.  I need to catch up.”

“What?”  Jonghyun said incredulously and Minhyun nodded gravely.  “First of all, I miss too many classes to get top marks, I’m barely scrapping by. And secondly, don’t you like, tutor other students in those subjects though?”

“Younger students.” Minhyun clarified. “Not students in our year, Jonghyun.” 

“Oh.” 

Jonghyun didn’t know what to make of this information.  In his mind Minhyun had always been perfect at everything, never failing in the slightest, both looks and grades always impeccable.  It’s impossible for him to imagine Minhyun of all people needed to study extra, even when Minhyun was literally doing just that right before Jonghyun’s eyes.  Seeing an imperfection in someone he thought couldn’t being anything less than flawless made Jonghyun feel strange.  Somehow Jonghyun felt like he should say something to encourage Minhyun or something.

“What are you having trouble with in Defense against the Dark Arts?”  Jonghyun leaned over Minhyun and asked, having debated with himself internally whether or not to inquire about Minhyun’s problems for the last few moments.  Minhyun seemed to perk up at the question, he looked up at Jonghyun and smiled.  Jonghyun was suddenly aware of how little the distance between their faces was.

“I just can’t seem to understand the theory behind stunning spells.”  Minhyun said, tilting the textbook up so that Jonghyun could see that it was open to the chapter on that subject.  “Can you explain it to me?”

Nodding, Jonghyun slid off the bench to sit beside Minhyun and launched into an explanation of stunning spell theory.  Even though Jonghyun was too closed off for people to approach him, he actually really enjoyed tutoring others.  The process of it helped him review the content for himself and solidify his own understanding.  Unconsciously, he found himself leaning towards Minhyun as he pointed at a diagram in the textbook, and suddenly he felt very aware of Minhyun’s presence beside him as his arm brushed against Minhyun’s side.  He forgot what he was saying for a moment and had to start his sentence over, but Minhyun seemed unaware that he was the cause of Jonghyun’s lapse. 

Without really seeming to, hours flew by as they revised together.  Minhyun confessed that he had been unable to focus very well in class recently, which gave Jonhyun an opportunity to review the recent content for himself by going over it with Minhyun.  It was only when Jonghyun’s stomach rumbled loudly that Minhyun suggested they stop and go to the Great Hall for dinner.

“Thanks for all your help today, Jonghyun.”  Minhyun told him sweetly, and Jonghyun felt himself start to go pink.  How was he supposed to forget about Minhyun when Minhyun kept smiling at him like that?

“’s nothing.”  Jonghyun said with a shrug, hoping Minhyun didn’t notice the color blooming in his cheeks.

“It means a lot to me!” Minhyun insisted, and Jonghyun felt even more embarrassed.  Then, to make things worse, Minhyun reached out and lightly touched the back of Jonghyun’s head.  “I really appreciate it.  Maybe you can help me out again, if you have time and you don’t mind.”

“Of-of course.”  Jonghyun blurted out without realizing what he was agreeing to.  He should have been trying to keep his distance from Minhyun, not agreeing to spend more time with him!  But the way Minhyun smiled at him then made Jonghyun’s insides dance and he couldn’t bring himself to regret agreeing to study with Minhyun again.  Minhyun didn’t seem to have changed his opinion towards Jonghyun since becoming aware of what Jonghyun was, which surprised Jonghyun a little.  At the very least, he had expected Minhyun to start showing some miniscule sign of uncomfortableness or repulsion around Jonghyun, but Minhyun seemed completely unaffected by the realization that Jonghyun was less than human.

*

After that, Jonghyun started talking to Minhyun again despite himself.  He still spent as much time as possible hiding in the Hufflepuff basement, but he couldn’t bring himself to keep ignoring Minhyun in their shared lessons.  In addition, Minhyun began asking Jonghyun to help him with homework and revise for exams increasingly frequently, a fact that Minki somehow picked up despite Jonghyun continuing to avoid him.

“I take it Minhyun found you in the library when we were in Hogsmeade last weekend then.”  Minki commented after seeing Minhyun talk to Jonghyun about their next planned study session in the corridor before Transfiguration. “I’m proud of you.”

“How do you know about that?”  Jonghyun asked peevishly.

“How do you think Minhyun knew where to find you in the library?”  Minki asked innocently.  Jonghyun cursed.  It was just like Minki to sell out his secret hiding places for what he thought was right, regardless of whether or not Jonghyun was of the same opinion.  Not that his nook in the library was technically very secret, it was just that not very many students bother to venture into that section of the library.

“You told him to go look for me?”  Jonghyun accused Minki, feeling a little angry.

“I would never!”  Minki defended himself.  “Minhyun was just complaining about his recent marks when he was talking to me and Aron earlier and all I said was ‘Well, we can’t all have perfect grades like Jonghyun.  Some of us have more important things to do than whiling away the hours in the back corner of the east wing of the library next to the goblin history collection.’  I didn’t tell him to go look for you there.”

“I’m never trusting you again with anything.”  Jonghyun grumbled, opening his textbook on his desk and staring at a page hoping Minki wouldn’t say more.

“Are you two finally together then?”  Minki asked pointedly.  Jonghyun supposed Minki giving him any form of respite was probably too much to hope for.

“Minki the reasons I explained to you before haven’t disappeared.”  Jonghyun reminded Minki tiredly.

“The reasons you gave me were all bullshit.”  Minki stated cheerfully.  “So I take it you aren’t together then.  Poor Minhyun, did you even tell him why you rejected him?  Even an idiot could see that it isn’t that you don’t like him.”

“I told him.”  Jonghyun told Minki quietly.  “I told him everything.”

“Like, everything-everything?”  Minki asked, his eyebrows shooting up and now also whispering. “Like including… you know…”

“Everything.”  Jonghyun confirmed with a small nod.

“Judging from the fact you guys were talking just now I’m guessing he doesn’t mind that you’re…”  Minki murmured. “So if Minhyun knows and doesn’t care, what could possibly be holding you back, Jonghyun?”

“Just because Minhyun is okay with it that doesn’t mean others would be.”  Jonghyun countered.  “What would his friends say if they found out Minhyun was dating a… a… a you-know-what.  How would his parents react?  I can’t do that to Minhyun, I just can’t.”

“I suppose it was overly optimistic of me to hope that you’d finally come around.”  Minki sighed.  “At least you’re talking to Minhyun again.  I suppose that’s a baby step.”

*

After that Minki started being less aggressive in his efforts to convince Jonghyun he was wrong to swear off connections with others.  He still made quite a few remarks expressing his opinion on the subject, but Jonghyun didn’t feel like his friend was constantly attacking him on the subject in every moment of every conversation they had anymore.  Because of this, Jonghyun stopped hiding out in his dormitory to avoid Minki and fell back into his old routine of studying in his favorite nooks in the library between classes.

 An unintended consequence of Jonghyun’s return to his old habits was that Minhyun, now aware of all of Jonghyun’s favorite spots in the castle thanks to Minki, often chose to spend his breaks there as well.  As much as Jonghyun felt that keeping his distance from Minhyun would be the best course of action, he couldn’t bring himself to change his habits or ask Minhyun to leave.  Minhyun had just as much a right to come to those spots as he did, Jonghyun reasoned, and those were his favorite spots in the castle for a reason.  If there was another nook in the library as comfortable and cozy as the one he frequented, Jonghyun wasn’t aware of it.

One afternoon, Jonghyun was curled up in his library nook revising when Minhyun came by and plopped down next to Jonghyun as he was wont to do.  Jonghyun looked up from his book to see that Minhyun was yawning and rubbing his eyes.

“Tired?”  Jonghyun asked, unable to stop a little smile from stretching itself across his lips. 

“I stayed up most of the night finishing a Herbology essay.”  Minhyun explained.  “I tried to go to an empty classroom to nap, but Minki and Aron where there- they were, well, you probably don’t want to know what they were doing.  I came here since I knew it’d just be you here.”

Jonghyun was about to say something in response when Minhyun laid down and plopped his head down against Jonghyun’s thigh.  Dumbstruck, Jonghyun opened and closed his mouth but word didn’t come out.  He was grateful that Minhyun’s eyes were closed so he couldn’t see the deep shade of crimson Jonghyun’s face had become.

“Wake me up when it’s time for dinner.”  Minhyun told Jonghyun sleepily, then turned to bury his face in Jonghyun’s side.

“I- um…oh-okay…”  Jonghyun responded lamely and then tried to go back to his book.

With Minhyun’s head resting on his leg, shifting slightly as Minhyun move himself in order to find the most comfortable position, Jonghyun was far too distracted to focus on reading.  All he could think about was the pressure of Minhyun’s head on his thigh, how angelic Minhyun looked sleeping, how silky his dark hair must have been… Without really realizing what he was doing, Jonghyun found himself with his hand on Minhyun’s head, fingers carding through Minhyun’s hair.  Upon realizing the situation, Jonghyun froze, expecting Minhyun to open his eyes and move away from Jonghyun, but Minhyun remained unfazed in sleep.  Not seeing anything else to do while being unable to study properly and not wanting to move and wake up Minhyun, Jonghyun put his book down and resumed moving his hand through Minhyun’s hair after a several moments of contemplation.

Jonghyun didn’t know how he was ever going to be able to get over his feelings for Minhyun when Minhyun kept doing things like this.  Maybe Jonghyun should just move to another country.  Minki, Minhyun, and pretty much everyone and everything in Hogwarts seemed to be conspiring against Jonghyun.  He knew the right thing would’ve been to keep avoiding Minhyun, no matter how hard it was, but Jonghyun couldn’t resist the lure of the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach whenever he got near Minhyun and the warmth that welled up inside him whenever Minhyun said or did anything remotely nice.  Time passed by surprisingly fast when Jonghyun was doing nothing but thinking and playing with Minhyun’s hair.  Jonghyun was surprised to see that it was almost six-o-clock when he glanced absently at his watch.

“Minhyun.”  Jonghyun called Minhyun’s name hesitantly, tapping his cheek gently. “Wake up, it’s almost time for dinner.”

Minhyun rolled over and grumbled something incomprehensible into Jonghyun’s side, but refused to get up.

“Minhyun, if you don’t get up I’m going to stand up and let you smack your head on this bench.” Jonghyun said sweetly.

Apparently Minhyun wasn’t too sleepy to comprehend a threat; he quickly moved his head off of Jonghyun’s lap and sat up, yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Already?”  Minhyun said sleepily, standing up and stretching.

Jonghyun nodded.  “Come on,” he said.  “We should go to dinner.”

“Thanks for being my pillow, Jonghyun.”

Not knowing how reply to that, Jonghyun quickened his pace out of the library and hoped that Minhyun didn’t notice the brilliant crimson shade of his ears.

*

With Aron and Minki finally officially dating, Jonghyun saw a lot less of Minki.  Minki spent most of his free time with Aron, which was something that Jonghyun didn’t hold against him.  He still got to hang out with Minki during Charms and Transfiguration, and he really couldn’t justify claiming more of Minki’s time.  Still, as the full moon approached, Jonghyun couldn’t help but feel a little sad at the prospect of sitting all alone in the hospital wing for three days.  Jonghyun was pretty sure that Minki wasn’t paying as close attention to the moon cycle as he once did, and thus wouldn’t realize that it was time for Jonghyun’s monthly ordeal.

Jonghyun checked into the hospital wing Saturday morning, glad that this month he would only have to miss one day of classes.  He spent the morning alternating between napping and studying, which was what he usually did.  Typically, Minki would visit him at lunch time and bring him food up from the Great Hall, but noon came and went with no sign of his friend.   Eventually, when it became evident that Minki probably wasn’t coming and Jonghyun’s stomach was growling so loud it could be heard across the hospital wing, the matron summoned a couple of house elfs from the kitchen to bring Jonghyun food, which he ate alone in silence.  Jonghyun knew he couldn’t rely on Minki’s support forever.  Someday they would both graduate and Minki would find a steady career in wizarding society while Jonghyun would- well, he would do whatever werewolves did to survive.  It was selfish of him to keep taking up so much of his friend’s time and effort.  It was better that he learn to be alone now, rather than later.  Jonghyun spends the rest of the day studying, sleeping and drinking his potion, with no one but the matron to keep him company in the deserted hospital wing.

The next morning Jonghyun slept in late, as he was wont to do in the days preceding the full moon.  Noonday sun was streaming through the windows of the hospital wing when he opened his eyes, and Jonghyun could hear voices coming from the far end of the wing.  At first he just thought it was some student who had had an accident or something checking in, but after a few moments Jonghyun realized that the voices where familiar.

“Are you sure he’ll be okay with it?”  What sounded to be Minhyun asked.  “Wouldn’t it be better if you-”

“I completely forgot about him yesterday.”  A voice that was unmistakably Minki cut in.  “I don’t know if he even got anything to eat, I usually bring him food up from the Great Hall and Jonghyun’s the type who won’t ask for anything for himself… Aaah I don’t deserve to call myself his friend after forgetting something like that.”

“He might not want me to see him like this.”  Minhyun replied.  He was right, Jonghyun thought, if he had a choice in the matter he definitely didn’t want Minhyun to see him just then.

“Would it be better for him to be by himself all day?”  Minki asked, making Jonghyun think back to the loneliness of the previous day.  It wasn’t all that terrible really, but Minki did have a point.  “He needs company, Minhyun.  Whether he know it himself or not.  And you’re going to be that company for him today, Minhyun.”

“Are you sure- ah fine, I suppose you’re right.” Minhyun sighed.  Jonghyun heard footsteps drawing further into the hospital wing and footsteps leaving, then heard Minhyun talking quietly with the matron.  Realizing that Minhyun was about to come his way, Jonghyun quickly pretended to be asleep.  He heard the sound of the curtains being drawn back and the sound of Minhyun walking over to sit in the chair next to Jonghyun’s bed.  Jonghyun heard the clunk of a tray of food being set on his bedside table.  A part of Jonghyun wanted to just pretend to sleep until Minhyun left, but a stronger part of him was hungry and very much aware that his food would get cold if he waited too long.  After a few minutes, Jonghyun pretended to wake up and sat up, feighing surprise when he caught sight of Minhyun.

“Er, hi Jonghyun.”  Minhyun greeted him awkwardly and gesturing at the tray of food.  “Minki had me bring you this. I’m… I’m sorry if I’m intruding or anything.”

“s’ fine.”  Jonghyun said quickly, not wanting to dwell on the matter.  He grabbed the food tray off of the night stand, put it on his lap and started devouring everything on it, too hungry to really care that Minhyun was watching.

“Do you, um, get more hungry during these times?”  Minhyun asked after several long minute of Jonghyun stuffing his face.

Jonghyun looked up at Minhyun, careful to swallow his food before replying.  “My bones, muscles and everything are going to completely reshape themselves tonight and again in the morning.  I need the extra calories.”

“It makes sense when you put it like that.”  Minhyun responded, smiling a little.  Jonghyun turned back to his food and Minhyun let him eat without interruption until he had finished the entire tray.

“How do you usually spend your time when you’re here?”  Minhyun asked once Jonghyun had set the tray aside.  “Do you have to just rest or..?”

“I have to study.” Jonghyun gestured to the pile of school books at the foot of his bed.  “Can’t let myself fall behind.”

“I’m impressed.”  Minhyun murmured.  “With the amount of work you put into school, you could become Minister for Magic.”

“No one would ever accept a werewolf minister, Minhyun.”  Jonghyun stated quietly.

“Oh- I’m sorry Jonghyun, I should’ve thought before speaking.”  Minhyun apologized quickly.  “But maybe in a few years.  When society has progressed.”

“I doubt it.”  Jonghyun replied, not wanting to argue, but also not wanting to let himself have any false hopes by letting Minhyun’s words stand without challenge.  Luckily, Minhyun chose not pursue the subject further.

“I brought a book of muggle fairytales I found in the library, I thought maybe you might like it?”  Minhyun said suddenly.  “I could, um, read them to you if you want.  I’ll understand if you don’t want to hear them or anything, I just thought…”  Minhyun’s voice trailed off and Jonghyun noticed a slight flush of pink across his cheeks.

“My mum is muggle-born so I heard some muggle fairytales growing up.”  Jonghyun told Minhyun.  “It would be nice to listen to you read them.”  Jonghyun didn’t think he could focus well enough to study at that point, so he reasoned that it was okay to take some time to listen to Minhyun even though he should be working to catch up on everything he would miss on Monday.

“Okay.”  Minhyun said with a soft smile and began to read.   Jonghyun laid back against his pillows, closing his eyes and letting Minhyun’s voice wash over him.  He tried his hardest to keep his mind on the story Minhyun was reading to him, but sleep was too hard to resist when he was just lying there and listening to Minhyun speak.  Before he knew it, Jonghyun found himself drifting off.  Just as he was almost completely in the clutches of sleep, he felt someone, presumably Minhyun, reaching over him to pull the covers up to his chin.  Suddenly, remembering something, despite is groggy state, he reached up to catch the sleeve of Minhyun’s robe as he moved his hand away.

“Minhyun…”  Jonghyun mumbled, still half asleep.  “Will… Will you tell Minki to come see me tomorrow? I wanna… I wanna talk to him…”

“Of course.” Jonghyun heard Minhyun reply.  “Rest well, Jonghyun.”

*

The next day, Minki answered Jonghyun’s request and came to see him in the hospital wing during the morning break period wearing an apologetic expression.  Jonghyun was sitting in bed with his Herbology textbook open on his lap, looking over the content his professor told him he would miss that day in class, but he closed the book and put it aside when he saw Minki come in.

“Jonghyun I’m so so sorry for forgetting I promise it’ll never happen again.”  Minki told immediately after sitting down.  “Now that Aron and I are together I’ve been a bit distracted.  I promise I’ll spend more time with you like before.”

“You don’t have to.”  Jonghyun told Minki quickly. “You and Aron should spend time together enjoying your new relationship without you having to worry about he all the time.  I don’t care if you don’t visit me when I’m here around the full moon, you shouldn’t be wasting so much time on me.”

“Jonghyun how dare you say that worrying about you is a waste of time.”  Minki admonished Jonghyun sharply.  “You’re my friend and I’m going to worry about you whether you want me to or not.”

“Minki I can’t keep relying on you forever.”  Jonghyun sighed, looking away.

“Listen to me, Jonghyun.”  Minki commanded, reaching out to cup Jonghyun’s face and turn his chin so Jonghyun had no choice but to look him in the eyes.  “I am always going to be here for you to rely on.  Always.  Nothing you say is going to convince me to stop, understand?”

An awkward silenced stretched out over several long moments as Jonghyun hoped in vane that Minki would let him go.  “…I understand.”  Jonghyun finally submitted after it became clear Minki wasn’t going to back down.

“Good!”  Minki replies, the tone of his voice a little more gentle.  He let go of Jonghyun’s face and gave Jonghyun’s arm a gentle pat.  Despite Minki’s assurances, Jonghyun thought that he would still do this best not to bother Minki with his problems in the future.  Even if Minki was willing to help him, it was still selfish of Jonghyun to give him that burden.

*

As March waned, the weather gradually became warmer as spring arrived at Hogwarts.  With O.W.L.s drawing every nearer, all of the fifth years turned their attention to revising, even Minki.  Minki started dragging Aron along with him to join Jonghyun and Minhyun in the library, and more often than not implored Jonghyun to explain concepts in their course work too him.  Jonghyun appreciated their company and knew that it was better for him not to just revise alone with Minhyun, but despite that he kind of missed when it had been just the two of them.  As much as he hated to admit it, Jonghyun had really liked having the entirety of Minhyun’s attention lavished upon him.  Jonghyun really needed no become better at controlling his feelings.

“Hogsmeade trip next week.”  Minki broke the silence one afternoon when the four of them were revising together in the library.  “Aron and I are going to Madame Puddifoot’s, you guys could come, if you want, and we could make it a double date.”

Jonghyun sighed in exasperation and closed his book with a loud clap. “Minki, how many times do I have to remind you, Minhyun and I aren’t dating.”  Jonghyun told Minki sternly, not missing the crestfallen look that came across Minhyun face as he spoke.  Minki had continued his mission to berate Jonghyun about his decision not to be with Minhyun, which was increasingly awkward for Jonghyun now that the four of them hung out together so much.

“Next time I guess then.”  Minki replied stubbornly.  “I suppose now that Aron and I come to the library with you guys you must want time alone.  I’m sorry we keep interfering with your study dates.”

“Minki…”  Jonghyun began to warn his friend, wondering if it would be too much to purposefully teach Minki incorrect material next time he asked for revision help.

“I think you’ve said enough, babe.”  Aron intervened, placing a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder giving Jonghyun an apologetic smile. “Jonghyun’ll come around eventually. Pushing him anymore now won’t do any good.”

Jonghyun glared up at the both of them before returning to his book, careful not to look at Minhyun.

When the weekend arrived, Jonghyun was determined not to do anything remotely resembling a date with Minhyun.  Originally he planned on spending the day in the quiet of the Hufflepuff common room, but Seonho and some other first years were talking loudly while playing exploding snap, and Jonghyun didn’t have the heart to ask them to be quiet when they were having such a good time.  Grumbling to himself, he relocated to the library, where predictably, Minhyun was waiting for him.

“Let’s go to Hogsmeade, Jonghyun!”  Minhyun suggested brightly the moment Jonghyun set his books down.

“Minhyun, you know I can’t…” Jonghyun explained tiredly.

“It… It doesn’t have to be a, I mean, we’d be going just as friends, you know.”  Minhyun said awkwardly, his ears going pink.

“I need to revise more.”  Jonghyun argued.

“Everyone needs to take breaks sometimes, Jonghyun.”  Minhyun counters.  “It’s unhealthy not to.  And besides, the weather is nice today.”

“If Minki and Aron see us they might…” Jonghyun racked his brain for a way to say what he needed without making the situation more awkward.  “…get the wrong idea.”

“We can just stay away from Madame Pussyfoot’s teahouse.”  Minhyun said with a shrug.  “And if we do run into them… I’ve been working on disillusionment charms lately, I’ll make it so they won’t even see you!”

“Fine…” Jonghyun gave in.  “Just let me put my books pack in my dormitory, meet you in the entrance hall.”

“Great!”  Minhyun said happily, flashing Jonghyun a brilliant smile that made his heart skip a beat.  “See you there!”

*

Jonghyun had to admit that it was nice to be outside on a day with such good weather as he and Minhyun walked down to Hogsmeade village side by side.  It was also nice to be able to talk to Minhyun without Minki constantly looking over at them and throwing Jonghyun suggestive glances.  Jonghyun could finally have more comfortable conversations with Minhyun.   Jonghyun only had one working quill left and they were both running low on parchment, so they stopped by Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop first and got what they needed.  They debated about whether or not to go to the Three Broomsticks after that, but as neither of them was hungry or thirsty and there was a higher chance of seeing Minki and Aron there, they elected against it.  Instead, they decided to just find somewhere nice to sit down for a while outside, since the weather was so nice that day.  They settled themselves in a meadow on the outskirts of the village and continued talking and enjoying each other’s company.

Jonghyun wasn’t really aware of it, but throughout the conversation the distance between them seemed to become littler and little until he could himself leaning against Minhyun as he giggle at a joke Minhyun had just made.  It was at that moment that Minhyun decided to put his arm around Jonghyun and Jonghyun suddenly became aware of their position.  Even though he probably should have, Jonghyun didn’t move away and neither of them said anything for a long time.  The only sound Jonghyun heard was the light breeze in the leaves of the trees nearby and the fevered pounding of his own heart.

“Why can’t this be a date, Jonghyun?”  Minhyun asked softly.

“You know why.”  Jonghyun reminded Minhyun quietly, finally brushing his arm away. 

“Jonghyun I don’t care about you being a werewolf, if that’s what you’re referring to.” Minhyun said stubbornly and reached back towards Jonghyun, this time placing his hand on Jonghyun’s chest.  “I can feel your heart beating fast, Jonghyun.  I know you like me.  Why can’t we just be together?”

“Minhyun, what would your family say if they heard you were dating a creature like me?  A part-human.  What would your classmates think?  You might become an outcast too.”  Jonghyun told Minhyun quietly.  “I can’t let you risk that.”

“Jonghyun, I’m not exactly a pure human either.”  Minhyun responded, and Jonghyun looked up at him in surprise.  “Remember the first time we came to Hogsmeade together and Minki mentioned my veela ancestry?”

“That’s different.”  Jonghyun said quickly.  “You’re not sick like I am.  And besides, veela aren’t…”

“Aren’t what, Jonghyun?”  Minhyun asked sharply.

“They aren’t monsters.”

“That’s… not entirely true.”  Minhyun said slowly.  “They might not be as stigmatized as werewolves, but when my great-grandparents got married there was a lot of opposition.” Jonghyun raised an eyebrow, surprised, and Minhyun nodded.  “People thought that my great-grandmother had used her veela powers to seduce my great-grandfather and they weren’t actually in love.  Being half-veela my grandfather had to deal with the same problem when he and my grandmother got married.  And so did my mom.  I tried to keep my veela blood a secret originally, because I didn’t want people to think I was using it to take advantage of people and make them like me.”  Minhyun explained. “But after I told Aron about it, it got out and now practically the whole castle knows.  I guess I should have told him not to tell anyone.”

“I’m sorry.”  Jonghyun apologized, feeling an awkward flush creep into his face at his embarrassment.  “I should’ve thought more before speaking.”

“I’ll forgive you if you let me kiss you.”  Minhyun said mischievously.  “Just kidding- you don’t have to feel pressured-”

“Okay.”  Jonghyun said so softly his voice was barely audible.

“What?”

“I-I said okay! You can kiss me!”  Jonghyun whisper shouted, his face now the color of a tomato.

“Jonghyun, I was just joking. I forgive you, you don’t have to force yourself to let me kiss you.”  Minhyun said, pinkness blooming upon in his cheeks.

“I know, just kiss me okay!”  Jonghyun practically shouted, frustrated with Minhyun for making him repeat himself a third time.

“You’re… you’re sure?”  Minhyun asked, still looking unsure of himself.

“I’m sure.”  Jonghyun murmured, nodding.

Minhyun leaned forward and wrapping one hand around Jonghyun’s neck and the other about his waist before pressing their lips together.  Jonghyun was not prepared at all, despite being the one who invited the kiss. He found his arms trapped in an awkward position, bent at uncomfortable angles between his and Minhyun’s chest. Squirming to get them out, Jonghyun wasn’t really even aware in the feeling of Minhyun’s lips on his own until he felt Minhyun laugh into the kiss before pulling back and letting Jonghyun readjust himself.

“Ready?”  Minhyun asked once Jonghyun hand his arms comfortable wrapped around Minhyun’s waist.

Blushing furiously, Jonghyun nodded and closing his eyes and leaning up to meet Minhyun’s lips.  This time, Jonghyun was fully aware of how soft and warm Minhyun’s lips were on his own. He was aware of Minhyun’s hand, which had moved from his neck to cup his cheek, Minhyun’s thumb gently stroking his face.  And for the first time, Jonghyun didn’t feel selfish for letting himself be with Minhyun.  He didn’t feel scared about how Minhyun’s family and friends would react when they found out about Jonghyun.  He just felt happy to be there in that meadow with Minhyun, finally kissing the person he had adored for so long.  Minhyun kept holding him close when they broke apart, pressing their foreheads together.

“Jonghyun?”  He whispered against Jonghyun’s lips.

“Hmm?”

“Can we call this a date now?”

“Yes, Minhyun.”  Jonghyun confirmed, suppressing a giggle.  “I suppose this is a date.”