Archive of Our Own ^beta

Pain is only relevant if it still hurts

Realistically they were never really meant to be together.

They’d gone four long years orbiting each other like satellites both being of a different crowd than the other. Harry was of a higher class coming from money, though you wouldn’t know it by the raggedy clothes and greasy hair he usually donned, hanging around with the hipster crowd. While Zayn was more a misfit—the loner type that kept to himself mostly but had a tightknit group of mates he could go to for a laugh or to bum a fag off.

But with the end of the school year came endless possibilities for most of the graduating class and that apparently included hooking up with people you ordinarily wouldn’t give a second glance.

XXX

It was about a week into summer break and Zayn was trying to avoid his parent’s constant looks of disappointment and not at all subtle hints to get a job. He’d spent most of his time lounging in the Riach’s basement smoking and drinking and watching old reruns of Jackass because why not, when Cher suddenly drops into his lap stealing the spliff right from between his lips and nearly spilling his beer.

 He thought about making a noise of protest but what was the point she did whatever the fuck she wanted to anyway, that’s just how she was so instead he pinches her side and takes a pull off his beer before raising a curious eyebrow in her direction which she responds to in kind, nodding.

“Malik.”

“Lloyd.” He grins, nodding back.

“We’ve been down in this dingy basement for going on a week now and I for one am fed up with the constant smell of sweat, socks, and stale Cheetos.”

“Oi, if you can’t appreciate the manly musk of our sanctuary ya know where the door is.” Ant huffs from the lounger in the far corner of the room but Cher just rolls her eyes, ignoring him to continue.

“It was alright for the first couple of days but is this really how we mean to spend the entire summer before Uni?”

“Some of us aren’t going to uni.” Zayn reminds her with a shrug.

“Piss off you know what I mean, I wanna get out and do something! This is our last summer of freedom, our last summer to just be kids.”

“Yeah but didja happen to forget that most of us are dead broke?” Danny points out, tipping his bottle up to finish off his fifth beer of the night at the same time that Zayn says:

“Well what did you have in mind then?” At this Cher’s face completely lights up as if she’s been waiting for someone to ask this magic question all night.

“Funny you should ask because there just so happens to be a beach bonfire going on tonight a sort of fuck off to college celebration.”

“Oh yeah? Whose throwing it?”

“Some rich prat—Grimshaw I think? Who cares it’s not like we’d be going to socialize—I’m talking free food and booze and just getting out of the bloody house for once.” There’s a note of desperation in her voice and Zayn can’t help but take pity, he’s always had a bit of a soft spot for her being the only girl in their group so with a heavy sigh he motions for her to pass him the spliff which she does happily somehow knowing she’s gotten her way. It’s no more than a burning roach at this point but he takes a few tokes anyway ignoring the way it burns his fingertips.

“Yeah alright.” He relents, as smoke trickles from his lips. She makes a happy noise and throws her arms around him as if his say is the final one in their group and maybe it is who cares he just knows the smile on her face had better be worth the pure torture that tonight is going to be.

XXX

The party is in full swing when they arrive, they’re immediately directed to the ‘bar area’—a patch of beach with multiple trashcans filled with ice and various forms of liquor as well as a few tapped kegs.

Whoever this Grimshaw bloke was he surely spared no expenses.

Making his way over he’s surprised to find a few IPA beers among the Guinness and Budlight and grabs up a bottle for himself before scanning the beach, he finds Cher with her head thrown back laughing.

She’d of course disappeared upon arrival spying some birds she knew from school—Cher unlike him and the boys had actual friends outside of their group with a face and personality like hers…people just tended to naturally gravitate toward her, she was slumming it really being around them but they’d grown up together and she was nothing if not loyal and could never up and abandon them, which was good because he doesn’t think he would’ve survived the last four years without her.

Among her group of chits is of course Perrie his ex, they’d gone together for two years before calling it quits last summer. Long story short he cheated on her with some American tourist named Gigi and truthfully he doesn’t know why he did it, Perrie was a great girl both good to and for him—his parents adored her and his mates had been dead jealous of him when she agreed to go out with him, but somewhere along the way he stopped loving her was with her because she was familiar, comfortable--it was easy staying with her rather than starting over new with someone else but instead of just breaking up with her like any sane person would he let her catch him snogging another girl.

Looking beyond them he spies the Riach boys already passing a joint between them and shakes his head, an all too familiar smile twitching his lips. He was really going to miss them—all of them when they fucked off to university come August leaving him to work at his Uncle’s garage.

It wasn’t that he didn’t get into any schools, on the contrary he got accepted to every university his career advisor forced him to apply to. He was quite brilliant if a little unmotivated but he just wasn’t passionate enough about any one thing to waste thousands of dollars for the next four plus years when he already had a job lined up for himself—fixing cars had always been something he was good at so why fuss?

Instead of joining his mates Zayn finds an empty lounge chair to dump himself into, taking a long pull from his beer. This isn’t his scene at all the music is shit and he doesn’t know anyone here—sure he knows of them all, has passed them in the halls or sat beside them in various classes for most of his school career but that didn’t mean shit not when he hasn’t held a proper conversation with the lot of them.

Letting his eyes comb the beach, he took in his surroundings there were the jocks playing a pickup game of footie about a mile down the beach, a few couples dancing off beat to his right, and a drunk Harry Styles who’s lost most of his clothes trying to convince his mates and anyone within earshot to go skinny dipping but Grimmy—ohhhh Grimshaw Zayn thinks as recognition finally clicks—convinces him to at least keep his pants on. The curly lad agrees with a pout and takes off for the water, a group of teens file after him flinging clothes as they go.

Harry Styles was a force all on his own much like Cher he seemed to have his own gravitational pull he was rich, good looking, and got along with just about everyone—everyone except Zayn that is who the other boy probably didn’t even know existed which was more than fine by Zayn. He usually avoided the Harry Styles’ of the world, knowing that people that shown that bright tended to leave burns.

He’s just finishing off his beer setting the empty can on the sand beside his chair, no sooner does he sit up straight is that beer replaced by another courtesy of a passing random. It’s some cheap American brand he’s never heard of but he shrugs and pops the tab.

It’s not terrible.

In the next half hour, he manages to gently turn down a fit upper classman who tried to rouse him into a snog, while another offered to give him a lap dance, and then just narrowly misses being brained by a runaway football. He’s about to call it a night having had enough of this shite when the party’s host himself approaches grinning like the cat that caught the canary.

“Hiya, you look like you could go for something a bit stronger.”

Zayn feigned surprise. “What? And pass up on this bubbly piss water?” Nick’s eyes flash with amusement, clucking his tongue.

“Right, how about a tequila sunrise hold the orange juice and grenadine?”

“So just tequila then?”

“Pretty much.”

“Cheers mate.” Zayn said raising his glass to the other boy before throwing the shot back, swallowing with a grimace.

Nick watched his Adam’s apple bob with dark appreciative eyes. “See that’s the thing we aren’t really mates, are we? Which is a problem...I know I’d never forget a face like that.” He assured him with a flirty smile.

Zayn nodded along as if he agreed “we’ve only gone to school together for over four years but sure.” He drawled, watching all the amusement drain from Nick’s face.

“Wait what?” Grinning Zayn handed Nick his empty shot glass.

“Ta for the drink but I think I’d rather pass on the getting to know you game—too little too late and all that yeah?” Pulling an offended face Nick huffs loudly before stomping off—well about as well as anyone can stomp on sand anyway.

Snorting to himself Zayn frowns as all his drinks finally catch up to him and he suddenly has to wee something fierce. Wrestling his way out of the lounger in search of a bush, he thinks he’s spotted the perfect one just to the side of one of the many lavish beach homes that line up along the beach—the kind of houses Zayn could never even dream of owning (or setting foot in for that matter). What he finds however is a drunk Harry Styles sitting crossed leg and humming to himself.

He’s got on wet pants and a flannel top left mostly unbuttoned showing off a surprising amount of ink and…four nipples? The fuck? He tilts his head up at Zayn’s approach, crystalline green eyes glittering up at him with his curls drying around his face he’s kind of beautiful Zayn can’t help thinking.

Then he smiles, revealing that he’s got dimples.

The bastard.

Zayn’s never noticed them until now, and is surprised to find his knees have gone a bit wobbly at the sight, not at all prepared to be on the receiving end of such a grin. And it’s not even perfect by any means—it’s a bit lopsided in fact, maybe shows off a bit too much of Harry’s perfectly white teeth but he finds himself unable to look away.

“Hiiii.” Rumbles out of his mouth, thick and slow as molasses and again Zayn is caught off guard not expecting that voice to come out of Harry.

“Uh yeah, hey.” Is his response just as slow, hesitant as he moves out of sight of the other party-goers.

“Whatcha doing?” Harry asks, tilting his head to the side, eyes wide and almost guileless as they peer up at him.

Sighing, Zayn shifts his weight from one foot to the other and mentally counts to five trying to distract his bladder. “Trying to take a piss to be honest.” He blurts, thinking this will finally coax the other boy into leaving.

“Oh. Cool.” Is all he says, fingers idly sifting through the sand on either side of his thighs, still grinning up at Zayn like nothing is amiss.

Zayn stares pointedly back before the need to piss reaches critical level. “Do’ya mind?” He grits out from between clenched teeth.

“Not at all.” Harry says and even scoots a few inches to the side.

“Um…” Zayn cannot for the life of him figure out why Harry hasn’t pissed off yet but quite frankly he can’t hold it any longer so with a shrug he unzips his fly, mumbling “Whatever mate, suit yerself.” Under his breath.

He’s barely gotten started when he hears: “You’ve got a nice cock.”

“Sorry?” Zayn startles.

“Yer cock—” Waving his hand in the general direction of Zayn’s crotch, sending sand flying “tis nice, perfectly proportioned and whatnot.”

“Thanks?” Zayn doesn’t really know what is going on, thinks he’s most likely having some kind of drunken hallucination where Harry Styles is not only watching him piss but also complimented his dick.

“Yer welcome!” He says simply and Zayn chances a glance down at him, he’d been trying his hardest to avoid eye contact—trying to pretend he was alone and not weeing with an audience but his curiosity wins out and he looks only to find Harry staring at his cock dead on grinning widely, his eyes flick up to meet Zayn’s and then the fucker licks his lips and winks. “I like cock, me.”

“Congratulations?” Is the first thing to come to Zayn’s mind, once again thrown off by the other boy.

Harry shrugs. “Just sayin’, could suck yers when yer you know all finished up.”

Admittedly Zayn didn’t spend too much time or thought as to what kind of person Harry Styles was, quite frankly never cared to but now he definitely is, wonders if this is somehow doing it for him, if he’s into whatsit golden showers or summat.

“The fuck man you can’t…just go offering to suck people off while they’re weeing!”

Unbelievably Harry tilts his head to the other side and blinks. “Why not?”

“For one it’s kinda gross, and for another you don’t even know me.”

“Sure I do yer Zach erm Martin? We have—well had Maths together.”

Zayn shakes his head in disappointment. “It’s Zayn and we had Literature, you know this is the longest conversation we’ve had in all four years of school, right?”

Harry’s mouth pulls down into a pout “that’s too bad” his smile is back just as quickly “but hey what a perfect way to get to know each other eh?”

Zayn raises an eyebrow.

“What conversing over a wee?”

“By sucking yer dick.”

Swallowing loudly Zayn focuses on shaking himself off and doing up his fly as he tries and fails to think of a reasonable response. He knows there’s tons but for the life of him none are sounding half as appealing as the vision of Harry’s bee stung lips wrapped around him, so before he can stop himself he hears a single word fall from his lips:

“Alright.”

The other boy doesn’t even bat an eyelash in surprise, his smile just widens if possible and Zayn is quickly reminded of the fact that Harry probably isn’t told the word ‘no’ very often.

“Nice.” He practically chirps rolling up onto his knees and moving closer as he makes a grab for the belt loops of Zayn’s jeans to tug him forward.

“Wait…right here?” Zayn hisses, glancing around them. Sure, they’re alone now but anyone could walk up and find them at any second, they’re not exactly secluded behind a bush on a near crowded beach.

“Mmhm, can’t wait—don’t wanna.” He murmurs almost to himself as he concentrates on undoing Zayn’s pesky fly, tongue peeking comically out the corner of his mouth and everything.

“But someone could see.” He whispers, one last ditch effort to get the other boy to see reason but Harry just looks up at him, flicking his fringe out of his eyes and grins.

“Yeah.” He says it like a promise and he sounds a bit breathless even though he’s not doing anything other than ridding Zayn of his pants.

“Fuck yer hot.” Zayn breathes and gives up, decides to leave Harry to do his thing as he hears his jeans hit the sand.

He’s drunk, he’ll have plenty of time to regret this in the morning.

Harry hums as he rubs Zayn through his underwear grinning to himself at the wet patch that appears as a result then thinks better of it and moves to nuzzle his nose against the older boy’s sizeable bulge.

He wastes no time in peeling the thin material down, watching Zayn’s erection bob with its newfound freedom. Taking it in his hand he bends forward to lick a strip from balls to tip smiling at the shiver that passes through the other boy and decides to fuck the warm up—there was a time for foreplay and there was a time for getting off and this was clearly the latter so without further preamble he took the dark head into his mouth moaning a little as he let the tip of his tongue glide across the slit.

Zayn’s toes literally begin to curl as Harry goes right for it, taking Zayn in fully until his pubes tickled the taller boy’s nose, swallowing around Zayn’s cock like a fucking champ, working him good and proper and moaning all along as though just the feeling of having his mouth stuffed was turning him on and he definitely knew what he was doing.

Then Zayn feels the tip of his dick hit the very back of Harry’s throat and he can’t help but reach down for something to hold onto—for some kind of purchase so as not to fall over. His fingers find themselves tangled in damp curls and without meaning to he ends up yanking a good fistful.

There’s an apology on his lips but before he can utter a sound Harry groans, eyes that had been staring up at Zayn watching his reactions now roll to the back of his head. 

Zayn does it again and once again Harry lets out this animalistic growl from the back of his throat. Huh.

He’s embarrassingly close to coming and if Harry says something about it Zayn plans to wholly blame all the alcohol he’s consumed for his lack of stamina, though in all honesty it’s a combination of that, the fact that’s it’s been way too long since he’s gotten off with anything other than his trusty right hand and Harry’s talented mouth that’s done him in, so with a regretful tug of curls he clears his throat.

“Might wanna, shit—I’m gonna come.” He doesn’t know what he was expecting Harry to do, speed up and swallow everything Zayn had to offer or maybe finish him off with a vigorous handy. But letting Zayn fall from his mouth with a wet ‘pop’ before sitting back on his heels was not it. “Harry? The fuck’re you doin?”

“Don’t want you to come.”

“Why the bloody hell not?”

“Want you in me first.” He says with a small shrug.

“You…”  Zayn trails off at a loss, shocked by the other boy’s frankness. He’s not entirely put off by the idea, if Harry’s mouth skills are anything to go by, but there’s no way he’s doing the deed behind a bloody bush. “I am not fucking you out here in the open—sorry but that’s where I draw the line.”

“Good thing I know where the Grimshaw’s hide their spare then.”

And well yeah, that is pretty handy information that.

Climbing fluidly to his feet, movements much too coordinated for someone so inebriated he moves passed Zayn headed for the house with a come-hither look thrown over his shoulder. Zayn almost stumbles in an effort to follow, remembering his jeans still bunched around his feet at the last minute. He drags them up his legs as quickly as possible stuffs his still hard dick back into his pants and barrels after him.

He nearly runs into Harry crouched by a group of lawn gnomes that really have no business being there seeing as it was a beach house and therefore had no lawn.

“It’s underneath this lil guy with the orange hat and the ‘stache, named him Julio a couple of years ago.”

“That’s uh, good to know.” Zayn watched Harry lift said gnome holding up the key triumphantly before popping up into a stand once more way closer then Zayn had expected him to.

“Hi.” He grins getting all up in Zayn’s personal bubble.

“Hey.” Zayn replies and before he can blink they’re kissing.

Harry kisses like he does just about everything Zayn’s learning slowly and with intent, licking teasingly into Zayn’s mouth, letting him taste himself before darting out again and when he pulls away Zayn is embarrassed to find himself chasing after him, eyes still closed, lips still pursed. But Harry just smiles.

“Inside, come on.”

He’s practically dragged through the door and pressed back against it once it’s closed, Harry attacking him with kisses so deep and good they leave him breathless and more than a little dizzy. Not that he was complaining. In all honesty if he’d known at the start of the night that something like this would happen he might not have put up as much of a protest.

His breath hitches a bit when Harry nudges a knee between his legs, parting them and grinding gently into him. Without thinking, Zayn’s hands come up to grip his waist, fingers digging into his sides. Soon enough Harry’s movements roughen up, become less coordinated, desperate noises leaking from the back of his throat.

“I can’t…fuck, want you to.”

“Wha?” Zayn grunts, trying to keep up with Harry’s hips.

“Fuck me Za—” Harry trails off, his brow furrowing up in deep concentration.

Zayn narrows his eyes because really?

“It’s Zayn.”

“Right. Yes.”

Shaking his head Zayn takes in the desperate gleam in the other boy’s eyes, tries to gauge which of the various doors he spies holds the nearest bed and instead directs the two them over to the couch thinking this’ll do.

Pushing the curly boy back until he falls to the cushions with a soft oof, for a moment Zayn just stands there taking in the sight of Harry laying there with his legs sprawled wide giving Zayn a perfect view of his erection, eyes wide and his pupils blown. His chest heaving as though he’s just run a marathon, lips bright pink and used looking.

Zayn bites his own lip to keep from moaning.

“Gonna just stand there staring then?” Harry asked, letting his left hand trail down from his exposed nipples to cup his bulge, giving it a generous squeeze. “Could give ya somethin’ to watch.” He practically purred shooting Zayn an impish grin.

“Go on then.” Zayn heard himself say, not recognizing the voice that came out of him.

His grin widens and with no further encouragement he wriggles out of his damp pants and takes hold of his cock, thick and hard and glistening with precum. Zayn feels his mouth go dry as he watches Harry work himself over, his eyes darting back and forth between watching Harry’s hand and watching his face—seeing the pleasure etched on his features was a true thing of beauty.

Then Harry lets out this breathy whine and it snaps Zayn into action, the darker boy practically diving onto the couch, blanketing the other boy, he knocks Harry’s hand away, replacing it with his own. Harry’s cock is hot and heavy in his grip he gives it a few tugs, shivering pleasantly at the noises Harry emits as he pulls at Zayn’s t-shirt trying to take it off and growling when he fails.

Chuckling, Zayn tugs his shirt over his head and off his body throwing it blindly behind him before covering Harry once more, finding Harry’s mouth with his own.

They kiss for a while, Harry blindly working Zayn’s jeans down his body, their groins meshing sweetly to create a steady rhythm between them, working each other into a frenzy.   

“I haven’t got—have you got anything?” Zayn asked with a tinge of desperation in his voice, shoulder’s falling at Harry’s head shake but then to his shock the taller boy grabs his hand, wordlessly brings it up to his mouth holding steady eye contact with Zayn.

“I’m clean, how bout you?” He asks before wrapping his lips around two of his fingers.

Mesmerized by the sight, Zayn struggles to remember how speech works. “Shit I haven’t been with another bloke since…Jesus…sixth form.”

“Hmm.” Harry hummed from around Zayn’s fingers, cheeks hollowing out obscenely before finally releasing them with a wet pop. “Great, think those’re properly wet now so…”

“Fuck, yeah alright.” Zayn murmured, knee crawling between Harry’s spread thighs to press both fingers to the taller boy’s entrance, the back of his neck prickling at Harry’s soft hiss.

“Alright?”

“Yes yes yes, m-more please.” Encouraged he sets to work scissoring him open, watching Harry’s pleasure play beautifully out on his face, sweat already plastering his curls to his forehead, those pink lips of his caught between perfectly white teeth, biting down with every twist of Zayn’s fingers, grazing his prostate over and over until finally he gasps.

“Enough, need you in me now.” Zayn doesn’t have to be told twice before he’s sliding his fingers out and replacing them with his dick. There’s a moment where Harry’s eyes squeeze shut and he seems to stop breathing where Zayn thinks about stopping because the other boy is clearly in pain but before he can even think about pulling out Harry grits out a warning through clenched teeth that he’d have his balls if he even tried it. Chuckling helplessly Zayn trudges on and before he knows it he’s bottoming out, the pair of them letting out a groan.

After only a minute’s hesitation Zayn begins to move, fucking Harry in small strokes at first, letting the other boy get used to the feel before he really takes off with abandon, fucking Harry into the sofa, the springs creaking loudly beneath them and Harry’s so loud, alternating between loud moans and breathy little oohs in Zayn’s ear, driving him mad.

“I’m going to come.”

“Yeah? Shit good, that’s good, you feel so…” Zayn babbled nonsense, not even knowing what he was saying as he doubled his efforts, wanting to watch Harry come apart.

“Zayn.” Harry cries out and comes between them in long milky ropes.

It’s not very long after that that Zayn feels a fire in the pit of his belly, his vision becoming clouded as he nears orgasm, pulling out he finishes himself off on Harry’s chest making the other boy moan just at the sight before collapsing on top of him completely drained as the night finally catches up with him.

XXX

The next morning Zayn wakes up bewildered, his head is pounding and his mouth tastes like rancid arse. He’s got no idea where he is but he knows it’s not his bed or the Riach’s lumpy brown sofa that smells mostly of wet dog and corn chips for some reason. He tries to roll over and freezes when he meets another body, just holding in a sneeze when he breathes in a nose full of hair.

Soft, wild curls that are oddly familiar, he’s wedged into the back of the couch, trapped really by this other body with no way out. He can’t even climb over the other person for a wee or to sneak out on them for a proper walk of shame, so curiosity gets the better of him and with a slow, daring hand he gently brushes said hair from their face and just stops himself from gasping at the all too familiar pale skin, pink mouth that even at rest looked soft and inviting.

Harry bloody Styles.

All at once the events of the night before come rushing back to him. The blowjob in the bushes, fucking Harry there on the couch, briefly feels around under the afghan and realizes they’re both naked.  Before he can get himself into a right freak out, green eyes slowly blink open, instantly focusing on him as a smile spreads across his face.

“Mornin’.” He says through a yawn, casually stretching his arms over his head causing the afghan to slip lower on his waist. Zayn can’t keep his eyes from falling, raking over the newly revealed skin appreciatively.

He expects it to be awkward, they barely know each other and it’s quite obvious that they fucked but the other boy looked just as comfortable as can be, lying down with one arm crooked behind his head, a soft smile on his lips.

“Erm, good morning.” Zayn stutters back, scratching nervously at the back of his neck.

“Do you prefer pancakes or waffles?” Harry asks with a curious tilt of his head.

“Um whatever you’re having?”

“Yeah?” Harry probes sounding a little too amused for Zayn’s liking. “I’ll probably just make myself a yogurt parfait.”

Zayn must make a face because Harry lets out this loud bark of laughter quickly covering it up with his hand, but the damage is already done so with as much politeness as he can muster he smiles back.

“Well in that case I’m more of an egg man, me.”

Harry nods once. “Cool, I just so happen to make a mean omelet.”

XXX

After Grimmy’s beach bonfire Harry just kind of never leaves, at first Zayn doesn’t think much of it, figures they’d keep it casual, just messing around for the summer getting off and having a laugh.

But then Harry starts bringing him around his mates most of which Zayn can’t even stand: Nick, Pixie, Alexa and them. The only one he even remotely gets on with is this quiet ginger named Ed.

It’s not until they’re all out brunching—because this lot loves to brunch. Most of the time Zayn can’t even be bothered to get out of bed in time but Harry’d woken him that morning with a fantastic blowie and well Zayn figured it was the least he could do to show up. Nick and Pix were planning a little weekend holiday and couldn’t decide between Barcelona and Ibiza when Nick suddenly spoke up turning to them.

Now in all honesty Zayn had pretty much tuned them out from the moment he was seated, pulling out his phone and thumbing through his twitter feed but when Grimmy says “Why don’t we ask the boyfriends, see what they think.” His entire body freezes because they definitely never discussed labels, this was supposed to be a summer thing, and remembers that Nick is known to talk out his arse, in fact he expects Harry to correct him…any minute now.

Only he doesn’t, the taller boy shocks Zayn further by shrugging, setting his mimosa down on the table and turns to him. “What do ya think babe? I hear Ibiza is lovely this time of year.”

So they’re apparently boyfriends, ok Zayn can deal with it, it’s still only temporary, boys like Harry never stick around, not for boys like Zayn. He’ll grow tired and leave –they all do.

But not a week later Zayn finds himself accidentally meeting Harry’s family when the other boy calls him round for what Zayn assumed was a booty call only for him to be greeted at the door by the literal female version of Harry with purple streaks in her hair. She introduces herself as Gemma and ushers him inside where he meets their mum and stepdad all settled in the tv room. Harry pats the empty couch cushion beside him, snuggling up to Zayn’s side instantly as the movie starts.

They love him, practically adopt him and Zayn is surprised with just how ok he is with that.

His parents are just as smitten with Harry, not that Zayn is at all surprised.

XXX

They’ve been doing whatever they’re doing—dating? For over a month when Harry tells him he loves him, moans it actually while balls deep in Zayn’s arse fucking him from behind over the kitchen counter. They’re home alone (thank god) and were in the midst of cooking spagbol for dinner when Zayn apparently licked the sauce off the spoon ‘all sexy like’ and Harry couldn’t resist.

Zayn can tell Harry’s close by the way he’s lost the rhythm, hips snapping forward of their own accord. He’s draped over Zayn’s back, their sweaty skin sliding against each other when Zayn clenches around him sending the other boy on his toes and moans “god I love you.” Zayn freezes and then shocks himself by coming Harry mere seconds behind him.

“Shit I didn’t mean to—not during.” He waves his hands around the room, chest heaving. “Not like this.”

“But did’ja mean it?” Zayn presses, blinking sweat from his lashes.

Harry gives a little shrug. “Well yeah, I mean no pressure to say it back or anything, know it’s like soon and stuff but yeah.”

“Oh.” Zayn licks his lips, not quite sure how to feel, what to say and settles for: “Erm thanks?”

“No thank you.” Harry says with a cheeky grin that earns him a swat to the shoulder.

And somehow it was alright, they were alright. It never got weird with Harry and it wasn’t long after that day that Zayn finally said it back.

They were down in the Riach’s basement funnily enough passing a joint between them. It was Harry’s first time smoking and of course he choked, green eyes watering as he nearly bent in half gagging pathetically. Cher even leant over to beat him on the back as if that would help and all Zayn could think in that moment was how much he liked Harry—how he liked everything about him from his unkempt curls to the way he sometimes eerily resembled a frog, his slow deep voice, the way he kissed just as if not slower, but especially the way he looked at Zayn like he was something great.

“You alright love?” He asked, biting back a chuckle at how pitiful his boyfriend looked.

“Yeah—yeah give me a minute and I’ll give it another go…I’ll get it right this time.” Harry practically croaked, voice sounding rough and guttural—it was kinda hot.

“Naw babe, how about we try something else?” Zayn offered causing the other boy to perk up with interest.

“Yeah?”

Zayn nodded. “Shot gun, c’mere.” He said already crawling towards him.

Harry blinked slowly, watching Zayn crawl across the dirty carpet like a predator and didn’t look like he minded one bit that he was the prey du jour. With a lazy smirk Zayn plucked the joint from Harry’s fingers, bringing it up to his own lips he took a long hit, letting the smoke burn through his lungs, feeling it circulate his chest for a bit before curling his free hand behind Harry’s neck pulling him in for a snog, tracing the seam of his lips for entry that was happily granted. Zayn licked his way in, exploring familiar territory before finally releasing sweet smoke into Harry’s mouth. The other boy gasps unexpectedly which quickly turns into a groan.

“Ooh, I liked that.” Harry breathes out once they separate, Zayn falling to the carpet with his back against the couch.

Zayn’s grin is sloppy, sated, eyes mere slits when he admits: “I like you.”

Harry grins back. “Yeah? I like that you like me.”

“Might even love you.” He whispers, conscious of his mates watching them.

“Might?” Harry asks doing that annoying head tilt thing and looking wholly amused.

“Do.”

XXX

But of course, like all good things this too had an expiration date, a date that was fast approaching and yet it still managed to take him by surprise.

He was lying out on a lounge chair at the community pool with Cher—she’d never admit it but she was only there as a last-ditch effort to get the lifeguard to shag her. He’s thumbing through his worn copy of Withering heights when she nudges him with her toe.

“Oi, you gonna give ‘Arry a proper send off or what?”

“Sorry?” He asks, not looking up from his book until Cher’s foot makes contact with him again, much harder this time.

“’Arry, you know your fit Uni bound boyfriend. You’ve only got two weeks before he heads off. Me and the boys will be gone not long after in case you forgot.”

At this Zayn sits up straight, setting his book down in his lap. “Wait two weeks? What? But Harry hasn’t said anything.”

“Seriously? You’ve known this day was coming since college let out, but it is sorta weird that he hasn’t mentioned it, like what’s this going to mean for the two of ya?”

Zayn knew exactly what it meant, they were over. It made perfect sense now why Harry hadn’t thought to mention it because why bother they both knew the score going in—perhaps he meant to make a clean break by simply vanishing without a word, like he’d never even been there. Zayn wouldn’t blame him.

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

“What do ya mean it doesn’t matter?” She growled, eyebrows wrinkled on her forehead in anger, sadly he was no stranger to this look so he shrugged again.

“It’s just as you said I’ve known from the start that he was goin’, just like I’ve known from the start that this was only temporary.” Cher shook her head so fast and fiercely Zayn only had a second to worry about possible whiplash before she’s sitting up completely in her chair, arms flailing about as she spoke.

“I don’t buy that shite Malik, I’ve only known ya since we was babes. You’re so fucking gone for ‘im.”

Zayn didn’t bother to deny it, that wasn’t the point, so what if he’d made the mistake of buying into the charade and yes fell for Harry, it didn’t change the fact that this thing between them was never built to last.

“It’s been a bit of fun, a way to pass the summer but now it’s back to reality if you will.” He shrugged a third time trying to remain nonchalant.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked crossing her arms.

Zayn sighed, here we go.

“Let’s be real here Cher the Harry Styles’ of this world don’t fall in love with people like us—like me, he’s been slumming it all along and we both know it, it was only a matter of time before our happy little bubble burst and it seems that time has come.”

“Bollocks, Harry’s not like the rest of ‘em!” Her voice had taken on that desperate note that Zayn hated, made his own throat dry and close up a little, but he couldn’t think like that, had to remain indifferent as can be and knew the only way to do that was to change the subject. Luckily Cher’s summer crush had chosen that moment to climb down off the lifeguard tower, headed their way.

 “Look sharp! Fit lifeguard approaching!” He hissed, making her jump.

“What? Where—how’s my rack look?” She asked, adjusting her bikini top and thrusting her chest out.

“Quite perky.” He assured her, earning himself a megawatt grin.

 “Ta mate, now watch and learn.”

She winked and Zayn could once again breathe.

XXX

Zayn doesn’t expect to hear from Harry again, let alone to answer the door of his family home and find him on the other side. It’s his parent’s date night and he’d drawn the short straw and is babysitting his sister Safaa, honestly, he hadn’t even minded it’s not like he had any kind of social life these days…or so he thought.

As it was he just sort of stood there in the doorway staring, not really believing what he was looking at. Harry smiling up at him from beneath his fringe. He hasn’t heard from the taller boy in a couple days, not since that day at the pool with Cher when the reality of the two of them came crashing down full force. Hadn’t bothered to reach out and didn’t think Harry had any reason to, so this unexpected visit was well unexpected.

The longer they stand there not saying anything the smaller Harry’s smile grows until it’s no longer even a smile but a simple press of lips and his eyebrows have drawn together in a mixture of hurt and confusion, finally spurring Zayn into action.

He clears his throat. “Uh, hey what’s up?”

“Came to see ya.” Harry shrugs and one corner of his mouth turns up in an attempt to smile.

Zayn bristles without realizing it “Right, well now’s not a good time, I’m watching movies with Saf so we won’t be able to sneak away to…” He trailed off, waving his arms around as if that would explain anything.

Harry’s face brightens. “Is that right? I love movies, what’re we watching?” He asks, gently shouldering passed Zayn into the house.

“We? Um, but I thought…” Zayn asked, shutting the door and quickly trailing after the other boy.

“Silly Zayn, I don’t always come over for that you know!” Harry clucks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I know that but…”

“But what? Where is the little bugger?” He says, a bit distracted as he peeks around corners in search of Safaa, it’s a bit overwhelming to watch because Zayn is still not sure what Harry is even doing here, he thought they were done, didn’t expect to hear from the other boy again let alone see him in his home.

“Harry just stop!” He finally says, raising his voice for emphasis.

“What is it babe?”

“Am I?” Zayn asks Harry’s back, sounding a mixture of confused and hopeful.

Harry finally pauses, turning. “Are you what?”

“Your babe? I mean shit are we even still—”

“I’m lost here Zayn are you, are you finishing with me?” There’s a quiver to his voice now that nearly breaks Zayn.

“No! I thought—I thought you’d finished with me.”

“Why would you think something as daft as that?” Harry says with a bit of a wry smile, though there’s no humor in his voice.

Zayn throws his hands up. “Because the summer is over Haz, you go off to Uni in a matter of days and you never said anything, figured you were trying to make a clean getaway, no mess no stress—I mean I’d have understood, knew what this was right from the start didn’t I?”

“And what’s that?” The curly boy asks, eyes narrowed, arms crossed over his chest.

“Temporary.”

Harry steps back as if shoved, a look of shock etched on his face as he tries to make sense of it all. “Look I feel like we’ve been having two completely different summers here.”

Zayn snorts. “Clearly.”

“I never saw us as temporary. I’ll admit I didn’t really notice you in school, I mean there were so many of us and we didn’t exactly hang with the same people or anything but after Grimmy’s party you were all I could think about, ask my mates I wouldn’t shut up about you—couldn’t not until Nick literally threw his mobile at me and told me to text Cher for your number. I meant it when I said I loved you, still do…I don’t just throw words like that out freely.”

“I thought it was a sex thing.” Zayn shrugs helplessly.

Harry shakes his head, moving closer once more, voice sounding a bit helpless himself. “You’ve met my mates, my family—we’ve literally spent nights just laying up in my bedroom talking for hours how could you think I was in this just for a fuck—I could get a fuck anywhere Zayn. I love you!”

“I…shit Haz I guess it just didn’t make sense?”

“What didn’t make sense?”

Zayn waves a hand around the room to encompass everything. “Us, you wanting to be with me. We’re practically from two different worlds. I’ve just sorta been waiting for the other shoe to drop since day one.”

“But why?”

“We’re just different, aren’t we? I mean I barely get on with yer mates aside from Ed and I’ve seen the looks we get sometimes when we run into people from school they don’t get it either.”

To Zayn’s surprise Harry punches his left fist into the opposite palm in a very un-Harry like manner. His usual cool, calm and collectedness yielding to his frustration. “Well fuck them Zee, you’re not dating my mates or the other kids from school, when we’re together none of that shit should matter, it sure as hell doesn’t matter to me.”

“I…” Zayn trails at a loss but he’s cut off by Harry who seems to have heard quite enough.

“I don’t want to break up Zayn, that was never even an option. Manchester is only four hours away, sure that seems like a lot but I fully intend to make it work, I’m willing to work—no to fight for us if need be, but I can’t do it alone babe. I have to know that this is something you want too.”

“It is, god Harry I…I almost shattered when I thought we were over, I put on a brave front for Cher and them, tried to make this out to be a casual summer fling but it was never that for me. I meant it too when I said I loved you, I’ve never really said that to someone before, the closest I ever came was Perrie and well you know how that turned out.”

“Oh Zayn…”

“I tried to fight it, didn’t want to catch feelings because of who you are but I really should’ve known better, you’re kinda hard not to love Haz.”

“Shit can I, can I kiss you now?”

“Please.”

“I love you so much Zayn, I’d never let a few miles ruin this.”

“I’m sorry I tried to trivialize this.”

“You should be.” Harry grunts, reaching out to whack Zayn gently in the balls. “Now that that’s all settled can we please join Safaa in the living room, I think after all that I deserve a good cuddle and a film.”

“Not without popcorn, she’d kill me if I returned without a snack.”

“Naturally.” Harry agrees and follows Zayn to the kitchen.

XXX

September sneaks up on them way too fast and before they know it Zayn is helping Harry stuff the very last of his belongings into his brand-new Range Rover—a belated graduation gift from his step father.

There’s no tears or awkwardness as they say their goodbyes only tight hugs and lingering kisses. The two are hopeful as they exchange promises to call each other every night and text every morning (even if Zayn won’t read them until about two in the afternoon when he wakes up.) Zayn makes plans to visit Harry as soon as he can and Harry promises to come home for every holiday.

And for the first time Zayn thinks that maybe they can do this after all.

XXX

“Zen! What is this, you told me you were taking your thirty…and that was forty-five minutes ago!” Zayn’s uncle shouted from the garage causing Zayn to move further down the alleyway.

“Yeah, yeah I know uncle, just give me—just give me another minute!” He curses, hitting redial for like the tenth time only to be met with Harry’s voice mail yet again. “Come on babe, answer the fucking phone.” He grumbles before finally hanging up.

Pocketing his mobile, he rubs a rough, oil-stained hand across his forehead before making his way back into the garage.

It’s been over a month since Harry left for Uni and sadly this was happening more and more often as the semester drew on. They’d set a time out of the day where they’d get to talk that worked for both of them even if it was only for ten seconds, it was better than nothing and at first it worked they never missed a date, Harry so eager just to hear Zayn’s voice he was often early but Zayn would take the call anyway ignoring his uncle’s death glares because who the fuck was he to stand in the way of young love.

But those days are long gone, now it seems he talks to his boyfriend’s outgoing message and mailbox more often than not.

Not twenty minutes later he’s up to his elbows in grease, his entire upper body deep in the hood of an 87’ Camaro when his mobile goes off. He bangs his head on the hood in his eagerness, cursing under his breath as he reaches for a semi-clean rag to wipe his hands on. He meets the annoyed eyes of his uncle as he slips his phone from the back pocket of his jeans once more, smiling down at the all too familiar number.

“I’m sorry Unc but I’ve got to take this.”

“Zayn…” He rumbles out in warning but he really needn’t have wasted his breath as Zayn shook his head, shooting him an apologetic smile.

“It’s Harry.” He says simply as if that should be explanation enough and with a helpless shrug he’s ducking out into the alley, his uncle’s response entirely lost on him.

“Harry.” He breathes into the phone, feeling something in his chest tighten with anticipation of hearing the other boy’s voice, it’s been two days, the two of them limited to texting thanks to Harry’s heavy course schedule.

“Babe hi, sorry I’m a little late but…” Glancing down at his watch Zayn quickly interrupts.

“You were in class, I know it’s just four now so you should’ve been getting out of your Philosophy lecture and I know that professor can get a bit long-winded yeah?”

“Well yeah he can, but lecture was actually cancelled today on account of a toothache or summat, don’t remember the details, I’m late because of Louis...” Harry paused and Zayn bit his lip imagining the fond eye roll the taller boy always seemed to have for the other lad.

Zayn groaned inwardly because this is how most of their conversations began these days with Louis. He was all Harry seemed to talk about lately. This loud, funny, mischievous second year studying Liberal arts because he’s not quite sure what he wants to do, though he’s leaning towards early child education with a minor in drama that Harry met one night in the dorms when the older lad drunkenly tried to break into Harry’s room thinking it were his own and not understanding why the bloody hell his key wouldn’t work. After Harry set him straight and even helped him get safely to his own dorm, he’d invited Harry to stay for popcorn and a movie.

They’d only gotten closer since and Zayn was happy for Harry, really, he’d never begrudge his boyfriend making friends and having someone to look out for him when Zayn wasn’t there to do so, there was just something about this Louis lad that made him uneasy.

“…so, there we were two in the afternoon with about two hours to kill and Lou manages to find a karaoke bar already serving alcohol and they don’t even card us at the door, not that it would’ve mattered since Lou got me that fake id made last week…” Brow furrowed Zayn tunes out what Harry is saying in favor of listening to his speech and sure enough he hears it, the telltale slur that his boyfriend is indeed drunk, shaking his head because it’s not even half passed four.

“…you should’ve been there Zee was bloody brilliant I sang Stevie Wonder’s ‘Isn’t she lovely’ and had the entire place on their feet in the end, felt like I was on the bloody X Factor or summat, Lou’s trying to convince me to go to this cycle’s auditions when they come ‘round but I don’t know, what’d ya think?”

“But what about your studies?”

“Bloody hell Zayn my studies will be here, uni will always be here, but how many chances will I have to be a rockstar? Can be a dumb lawyer when I’m done seeing the world yeah?”

“I suppose so but do you really think you’re that good like—to sing in front of Simon Cowell and the like?” He regrets the words the moment they leave his lips and he hears the sharp intake of breath through the phone.

“Wow Zee thanks for that, cheers.”

Harry’s drunk so of course he’s not thinking logically, Zayn should’ve known better than to try to reason with him right now, but it was too late the damage has been done so he ought to just trudge on and get it over with.

“No, no babe I didn’t mean it like—you know I love your voice, think you’re brilliant I just don’t want you to get your hopes up and get hurt.”

“Lou thinks I can go all the way.” Zayn can hear the pout in the other boy’s voice and sighs.

“Right well Lou’s not exactly in touch with reality 99% of the time you have to admit.”

There’s a long stretch of silence in which Zayn is afraid Harry’s either hung up or possibly fallen asleep.

Finally, Harry sighs sadly into the phone, sounding completely defeated when he says “Yeah, you’re right, you’re probably right about the whole thing actually…what was I thinking.”

He feels like absolute shit because it’s not that he doesn’t think Harry has the talent to go for it because he surely does, he just knows what a gamble shows like that are and how low the odds are of him actually making it and he doesn’t want Harry to screw up his future as a lawyer for a pipedream is all.

“No, babe if you want to audition go on, you’re deffo good enough just, just do it for fun yeah no high expectations.”

Harry snorts. “Nah, wouldn’t want to like waste my time yeah? Speaking of how’s fixing cars coming?”

Zayn flinched as if struck.

“Ouch.”

There’s another long pause before Harry is suddenly scrabbling to apologize, as if his own words finally hit him. “What? Oh god I’m sorry I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, really, I was just speaking with Lou about it the other day and we just don’t get it, why you’re not here at uni with me you’re fucking brilliant your art is—”

 “I’m not that good, wouldn’t be worth all the money it takes for uni.”

“Should’ve applied for scholarships back in college.”

“Maybe.” He hums and sure he knows he should have but at the time they seemed pointless, besides how was he to know he’d meet Harry giving him a reason to want to go.

“I just wish you were here with me Zee, I miss you.” Zayn winced because apparently, they’d stumbled upon the whiney stage of drunk!Harry, not that he was complaining he’d take listening to Harry whine over not hearing him at all any day.

“God, I miss you too babe, every single day, Christmas hols can’t come soon enough.”

“Still got three more months till then, do you think you can get away for a weekend? Maybe come see me, you can meet Lou not just hear him in the background while we facetime?”

“No, sorry babe we’re a bit short staffed at the mo since Conor fucked off to America. Probably couldn’t afford the train ticket anyhow but I’m saving up don’t you worry even made myself a proper money bank out of an old shoebox.”

“How savvy of ya.” Harry giggles and it’s like music to his ears

The conversation dwindles from there the two of them catching each other up on what’s been happening in their lives which mostly consisted of Harry rambling about all the pranks and hijinks he and Louis get up to, they talk about each other’s families and Harry asks how their small town is doing, Zayn assures him that it hasn’t changed until eventually Zayn finds himself listening to soft snores on the other line. He bids Harry goodnight even if he doesn’t hear it, and blows him a kiss before hanging up.

His uncle is royally pissed when he returns to the garage and makes him work well passed closing time in order to finish his work on the Camaro but Zayn isn’t even mad about it.

XXX

Three months later and Zayn is rubbing a towel over his hair in an attempt to dry it. He’s just got off work and took a quick shower knowing Harry was on his way over from his mum’s. His arrival time conflicted with Zayn’s work shift so unfortunately, he wasn’t able to meet him at the train station, but he texted Harry the address to his new apartment and let him know when he’d be home.

It was nothing special just this tiny one bedroom flat right above a café that made the best everything bagels but it was his.

Zayn’s sort of surprised when he opens his front door to be met with a frown, Harry’s shoulder’s sagging at the sight of him.

“Oh no you’ve already showered?”

Confused, Zayn gives him a slight nod. “Um yeah, why?” Squeezing passed Zayn into the apartment the taller boy shrugs, a grin finally making its way to his lips.

“I don’t know, I’ve been seeing you covered in oil and smudges of grease for the past couple of months through pics and video chat I might’ve developed a bit of a kink if I’m being honest—was quite looking forward to acting out some of my mechanic sex fantasies.” He finished with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows.

There’s an awkward pause after that where they just sort of stand there alternating between staring at one another with Harry looking away occasionally to take in his surroundings. Zayn hates how uncomfortable he feels, this is his boyfriend for fuck sake not some stranger.

“Welcome home.” He says trying to break the silence at the exact same time that Harry blurts. “How’ve you been?” Chuckling Zayn nervously stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans as something to do.

“I’m good, same old same old really, why don’t you leave your bags there and come sit?” He offers more than a little relieved when Harry nods, doing just that.

“Alright.”

“So how’s the…” “Lovely flat…”

This time they both laugh at their ridiculousness.

“It’s really not much but it’s home.” Zayn admitted, giving his humble apartment the once over, trying to see it through the eyes of someone else.

“Twice the size of my dorm room so I think it’s aces.” Zayn stayed quiet, silently agreeing to disagree.

“How’s the family, how are things? Feels like we haven’t spoken in ages.” Which isn’t too far off from the truth, having to study for his finals and with all the papers Harry’d had to write there hadn’t been anytime for them to talk aside from a few scattered texts and a voice message or two left in the wee morning hours before Zayn was even awake. He missed Harry like crazy but knowing he would get to see him before long kept him going, was the only thing that kept him sane most days.

And yet here they were finally together and sat with about a foot of space between them, haven’t even touched each other. He was dying to kiss Harry but didn’t know if he was allowed which was all types of fucked up. He didn’t understand what was going on, why things felt so changed between them.

“Mum and them are good, Gem’s convinced she’s found ‘the one’ but I’m not sold Bradley seems a bit…”

“Stiff?” Zayn tries remembering the last time he’d run into the pair.

“…of a prat.” Harry finishes taking off his coat.

“Oh.”

“Other than that, everything is good, I feel really good about my grades for the semester, my roommate situation has improved drastically you remember I told you about that science fair project Aiden seemed to be growing under his bed? Well he finally got rid of it and swore to never leave food in the room for more than a night…it might’ve taken a bit of threatening to rip his bollocks from is body and hang them from the flag pole from Louis but still got the job done.”

“Well that was nice of him, I’m glad you have someone there for you.” At the mention of Louis Harry practically lights up, much to Zayn’s dismay.

“Lou is aces, makes me laugh all the time, forces me out of the room when I need a break from my studies so that I don’t go mad, he stood up for me against a group of homophobes and even tried to get me to join a frat, but I told him it wasn’t really my scene ya know? I told him he was more than welcome to pledge and that I would support him but he decided not to, said it wouldn’t be as much fun without me. Isn’t that sweet?”

Zayn coughed. “Erm yeah wicked sweet.”

“Not a lot of people know that about him Zee, like they see him as this obnoxious prankster and don’t get me wrong he is definitely that but he’s also a closeted teddy bear—like if you could see how he is when he’s on the phone with his siblings, or how he lights up when he sees a dog, and then there was this one time a group of us took a weekend trip to Spain and we were at the beach and this kid was being teased because I think he couldn’t swim so he had to like stay in the shallow water while all the other kids went out further and Louis totally cheered this random kid up by flopping around in the water like a fish and brightening the boy’s entire day—he later stepped on a sea urchin and we had to go to the hospital but uh, well I guess you had to have been there...” He trailed off at Zayn’s silence.

Zayn cleared his throat. “Guess so.”

“What about you, how has small town life been treating you?”

“Pretty standard I’d say, not much has changed here since you left. Family’s alright, Saf’s growing like a weed and said to tell you that you better come round to see her before you leave off again or else!  Oh and you’ll never guess who moved back after just one semester at uni.”

“Who?”

“Ant and Dan! Said it just wasn’t for them, so they’re back working at their dad’s store but I can tell they’re already getting restless. Won’t be long before they take off again, think they have what folk call a wanderin’ heart or summat. It’s good to have them back though we still go down to their parent’s basement for a smoke now and again me, Ed and them.”

“Ed?”

“Told you he was the only one of yer mates I got on with, we’re like proper close now.”

“That’s great, I’m glad.”

“Cool, oh and did I tell you about the new hire at the garage?”

“No, did your uncle finally find someone to replace Conor then?”

“Yeah, it’s this bloke named Liam Payne you might remember him from college? He went to our rival school?” Harry shook his head. “He was captain of their footie team a real ace, even predicted to go pro after Uni. He had himself a full scholarship to Leeds before he went and tore something during the championship game poor guy. He nixed higher learning after that and is working alongside yours truly instead.”

“That’s too bad about the scholarship.”

Zayn shrugged “University isn’t for everyone, he was only ever going to play ball once they took that out of the equation it just wasn’t for him, he seems happy though and has come to be a great mate…though he had a bit of a crush on me at the start.”

“What?” Harry asks, sitting up, showing the first spark of genuine interest all night.

“Yeah, he used to get all red and tongue-tied whenever I was around, until one day we were arguing over the lyrics to some song I can’t remember, and he took my phone to google them and set the record straight only to accidentally read one of our more interesting texts…never seen someone turn that particular shade of pink before.” Zayn finished with a smirk.

Harry hummed as if dismissing him and changed the subject. “You hear from Cher at all?”

“Not really, she’ll drop me a line every now and then but she’s far too busy studying to be the next big name in fashion for lil ol’ me.”

Another long pause and Zayn hates this, hates how the one person he knows better than he knows himself—knows him better than anyone else has become somewhat of a stranger to him. The one person he should feel at home around, he can’t even hold a decent conversation, doesn’t know what to do with his hands—Harry’s been here for twenty minutes now and they haven’t even touched and he’s sick of it.

“I hate this” “This feels wrong.”

Zayn shakes his head. “It shouldn’t be this hard, should it?” Harry bites his lip looking as sad as Zayn feels and all at once he’s lifting his arms, spreading them.

“Can you just, come here?” He asks wearily, voice sounding tired.

“I…”

“Can I just hold you? I’ve been dying to since I walked in. Just to hold you because you’re finally there and I’m finally here and I’ve missed you so damn much it hurts.”

“God, Harry…” Zayn chokes out, hating the tears he can hear in his own voice as he all but throws himself at his boyfriend.

“Thank you.” “Love you.”

And this they remember, this they know and were always good at. They make love that night and eventually get back to normal.

Just in time for Harry to leave again.

XXX

Time goes by and Zayn misses Harry a little more each day. He’d like to say things stayed good between them after the holidays and for a while they did but sadly they both fell back into their game of phone tag, missing each other’s calls, having long, meaningful conversations with the others’ voicemail.

Worse still, every message left was always jam-packed with stories starring Louis. Zayn tried not to let it get to him, thinks about maybe saying something about it to Harry but they don’t talk very often as it is, he didn’t want to upset him or maybe he was just scared that without Louis there’d be nothing left to say.

So he distracts himself by going out with the lads, getting to know Liam better and introducing him to Dan and Ant. The four of them chilling in the basement whenever they had some free time on their hands like they were still dumb teens without a care in the world.

But eventually the twins, just like Zayn predicted all those months ago pick up and move to France to start their own music label or summat. Zayn couldn’t really blame them for leaving and wished them the best.

He and Liam took their show on the road so to speak trading the basement in for McClary’s a local hole in the wall pub where Ed bartended most nights. The two lads hit it off right from the start much to Zayn’s pleasure lighting up like matchsticks. When Ed wasn’t on the clock he’d join them for a game of pool, darts or just to sit around drinking and watching footie.

Sometimes he had a show at another bar and the two of them would go to show their support sure, but also because Ed was a wicked singer.

Zayn was sort of surprised—though he really shouldn’t have been—the first time the two of them hung out without him. Not because it wasn’t allowed or anything so farfetched but because he just hadn’t expected it. They were both on the quiet side with him acting as the invisible string tethering the three of them together.

Guess he was wrong.

It’s not until the two of them are working on a hearse for the local funeral home, Zayn’s stretched out underneath it covered from head to toe in dirt and grease as Liam hands him the tool he needs. The younger boy clears his throat causing Zayn to pause, sliding out from under the vehicle on his bright orange creeper to find Liam smiling goofily down at him in that way that causes his eyes to crinkle out of existence.

“Hey uh Zee, can I talk to you for a mo?” Sitting up Zayn attempts to dust himself off and quickly gives up.

“Of course mate, what’s up?”

“So uhm you know how sometimes me and Ed’ll like go off on our own when you’re stuck here at work or don’t feel like coming out?” Zayn nods, picking up a nearby rag to wipe his hands.

“Yeah, s’cool you two getting to know each other and all.”

“Cheers, well he’s aces isn’t he?”

“For sure, he plays a mean guitar and his voice is on a whole other level, he’s sick really.”

“No I mean like as a person, like he’s…I fancy him.” Liam breathes out grinning.

“Oh.” Zayn can honestly say he hadn’t seen this coming Liam and Ed? He wasn’t even sure if the ginger liked boys but there was no denying their instant connection.

“Erm and I think he might like me too, I mean…I don’t know…do you think I should ask him out, like properly? Not as mates.”

“Wow, yeah deffo. I think you’d be great together!”

“Really? Wicked because he just gets me if that makes any sense?”

“It makes perfect sense actually.” They had so much in common it was ridiculous, and their bond was so instantaneous that even if Ed turned out not to like blokes, he’d make an exception for Liam.

“Cool so, how do’ya think I should, you know ask him? Haven’t been on a date in ages and I’ve only been with like two other blokes and not to toot my own horn but back in college I wasn’t really hard up for a date—girls just lost it for a footie player ya know?”

“It’s simple Liam you take him to go see Frank Ocean.”

“What? No it’s been me and you going to that concert for months now. I’m not gonna take him just because…”

“Technically I’m giving him my ticket and really it’s cool, make for the perfect first date.”

“Are you sure?”

“Deffo, take lots of pictures and…”

“Record ‘Thinkin’ bout you, duh. Cheers mate but he’s still got to say yes.”

“Oh he will and you’ll have fun and hopefully get some.”

Liam pinks prettily.

“So enough about me you haven’t brought Harry up in oh.” He glances down at his watch. “A whole fifteen minute what’s going on, you feelin’ alright.” He jokes playfully reaching out to feel Zayn’s forehead.

“Har har, I don’t know we haven’t really gotten a chance to chat in a couple of weeks.”

“Weeks?!?!?! What’s going on Zee?”

“It’s nothing like that Lee, we’re—we’re ok he’s just always busy.” He tries a shrug on for size feigning nonchalance. It’s convincing enough to wipe the worry off Liam’s face, his thick brows unfurrowing.

“At least he’ll be down here soon enough, spring break right?”

Zayn physically deflates. “Actually he’s already on spring break, not coming home after all. He and Louis had their names drawn out of a random lottery to spend spring break in Amsterdam.”

“That’s bollocks, I mean not for him obviously because he gets a free trip to Germany but he’s only been home what once since leaving for uni? This means you won’t get to see him again until the school years done, summer hols right?”

“Yep.” Zayn says popping the p.

 “That’s bollocks!” Liam repeats and his genuine upset brings a little smile to Zayn’s lips.

“It is what it is Lee, I can’t exactly fault him for going, he’s young who knows when a chance like this will happen again? We’re not old marrieds.”

“’Still bollo—oi!”

Zayn startles. “What?”

“You’ve got money saved up, enough for a train ticket I’m sure. How about you buy one for when he gets back. Surprise him with a pop up visit?”

“And not tell him I’m coming? What if I interrupt his studies or am just in the way?”

“Zayn classes will just be getting started he won’t even have any coursework yet!”

“I don’t know… “

“Zee either you do it or I will.”

“Will what? Go down to Manchester?”

“No numpty, buy yer ticket and like not pay my light bill for the month.”

“Well we can’t have that, now can we? Though I reckon it couldn’t hurt when it comes time for wooing Sheeran, eatin’ by candlelight eh?”

“Oh shove off!”

“I suppose it would be nice to surprise him, see his face light up at the sight of me, I’ve really missed his smile. And he doesn’t know I’ve been savin’ up so he wouldn’t have a clue—‘sperfect!”

“Am I a genius or what?”

“You’re something alright.”

“Oi!”

“But seriously thanks.”

“Nothing to it, now get back under there before yer uncle starts hollering about sackin’ us.”

XXX

So that’s exactly what he does, pulls the makeshift piggy bank he’d made out of an old converse shoe box all those months ago down from the shelf in his closet, cutting the duct tape he’d used to seal it closed and buys himself a ticket to Manchester.

Liam and Ed come with to see him off and he can’t help but grin at their joined hands as they wave at him through the window. He’s a bit giddy with anticipation, knee jittering as he stares out the window, unable to really focus as he watches the world blur by.

When he arrives he’s completely lost, has no idea where he is or where he’s going, it’s a good thing he remembers the name of Harry’s dorm and with the help of a tall slender lad named Shawn he finds himself entering the correct building.

He’s further directed to the dorm’s rec room by a tiny blonde girl who shrugs and says Harry can almost always be found in the rec center binge watching Friends or summat.

Zayn can’t help but chuckle, shaking his head because that definitely sounded like his boyfriend. He thanks her quickly and makes his way in that direction, anxious to see the look of surprise on Harry’s face.

However, it’s his face that must look surprised when he happens upon Harry and Louis, tangled up on the sofa eating chocolate coins while One tree Hill plays in the background. They’re giggling and throwing empty wrappers at one another their bodies so entwined that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began, so they don’t hear or notice Zayn standing there, so enrapt in their game giggling like school children until Louis finally just dives on top of Harry the two of them pretending to make out until Zayn emits a soft gasp and they pull apart curiously.

Harry’s eyes widen when he sees who’s made the sound and he’s instantly shoving Louis away, all but leaping off the couch in his haste.

Zayn doesn’t even think to be pissed off until he reads the guilt on his boyfriend’s face.

“Zee, babe this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Oh yeah? What’s it look like then?”

“You know I’d never cheat on you Zayn, I love you!”

“Correction I thought you’d never cheat on me, but now I’m not so sure…” Zayn trails off, glaring pointedly at the boy in question making Louis slink down even further in his seat.

“Babe come on that’s not fair, me and Lou are just mates I swear.”

“But is that what you want?”

“Sorry?”

“You’re just mates right now, right? But that’s only because of me yeah? If not you’d be with him, wouldn’t you?”

Harry’s silence speaks louder than any words he could’ve uttered, and Zayn feels like someone’s just tied weights to his feet and shoved him off a dock. His lungs slowly filling with water until he can’t breathe.

Without a word Harry takes Zayn by his elbow leading him down a short hallway and into what Zayn can only assume is his dorm room, recognizes the familiar wall color and spots a few of the postcards and drawings he’d sent Harry over the last couple of months. With the door closed behind them Harry whirls around eyes already brimming with tears.

“Zayn I—I love you, don’t think that’s changed because it hasn’t, I love you so much but it’s just hard not seeing you and we barely even talk most days…I thought we could do it, that I could do it, that our love would beat the odds and clichés but that was just the foolish hope of a seventeen year old wasn’t it? Reality is it’s a lot harder and takes much more than that.”

“Didn’t exactly help that every conversation was about him either did it?” Zayn spat pitching a thumb in the general direction of Louis.

Harry let out an angry huff of breath, hands on his hips. “Ok well what about you, you’re always going on about Liam and don’t think I don’t remember how fit he was, ever think that I might be jealous, that I might not want to hear about him all the bloody time? For all I know maybe you were gettin’ off with him!”

“That would be Ed.”

“What?”

“Ed and Liam, they’re dating now.”

“Ed? My Ed? He likes blokes?” Harry gasps, eyes blown wide in shock.

“I think he’s just in love with love.”

“Huh, sounds about right.”

“And I never said anything about shagging…” Zayn reminds him, steering them back on topic.

“You know I’d never, Zayn come on!”

“Do I though?”

“Louis is, he’s special to me I’ll admit that, he gets me, he’s been there for me when it got unbearable—missing you so bad all I could do was curl up in bed and cry. He’d make sure I was eating and keeping up with my studies and we grew close and he’s very important to me sure, but I would never do that to you Zee, I couldn’t.”

“Is it bad that, that’s somehow worse? You’ve bonded with him, it’s not just a shag but…more.”

This would be so much easier if Harry were a cheater, if Zayn had walked in on the two of them fucking he could be pissed and hate Harry, but he can’t hate him and he’s not angry he’s just hurt because Louis has been able to give Harry what he couldn’t and through that somehow won Harry’s heart.

“So that’s it then, we’re done and you and Lou…”

“No, Zayn it’s not like that I could never just pick up with him…” Grabbing Zayn’s hand he presses it to his chest. “You feel that? That’s my heart shattering right now. I wouldn’t be any good for anyone, not until I mend from letting someone like you walk away.”

“Then don’t.” Zayn hears himself plead, hearing the tears in his throat.

“Zayn…”

“I know, fuck I know it’s just now I have to go back to that tiny fucking town, to my shitty ass life and I won’t even have you, won’t have your calls or texts to look forward to.” He confessed with a bitter laugh.

“I could still try…” Harry starts but Zayn cuts him off with the shake of his head.

“No, that would make all this so much harder.”

“Do you think we could eventually be friends?”

“I don’t know…” But he did, he knew, and Harry knew that this was the end of them, of everything.

On his way out, he passes the couch where Louis still sits surrounded by empty chocolate wrappers, worrying his bottom lip. He looks up at Zayn’s approach and instantly shrinks into himself as if afraid Zayn was going to clock him one and maybe Zayn thought about it, definitely wanted to but instead he simply nods to the other boy hoping that was enough for Louis to know that he was going to be ok and that all he asked was that he continue to look out for Harry, in whatever capacity that meant.

Slowly, almost shyly Louis gives him a hesitant nod in return.

XXX

He returns home two days early much to Ed and Liam’s confusion. Back to the same old routine of work, eat, sleep and repeat, except now he doesn’t have those little bursts of Harry to break up the monotony of it all, sure his mates try to distract him from his misery when they can but with his unwillingness, preferring to stay in and mope coupled with the fact that their relationship was still just getting off the ground—the two of them in that blissful honeymoon phase, floating up on cloud nine that they sometimes forget and Zayn couldn’t even be angry with them for accidentally rubbing it in his face like salt to a wound.

Missing Harry is a physical ache, a constant weight in his chest that dragged him down making even the simplest of tasks seem impossible, it’s a good thing he’s family or his uncle would’ve surely sacked him. Lord knows Liam bless him has had a time picking up the slack. Sometimes all he can do to alleviate the pain is to reread Harry’s texts or replay the voice messages he’s still got saved on his phone. He knows he should just delete them, erase all traces of Harry from his life cold turkey. But he couldn’t, couldn’t quite sever this last tie just yet.

He finds out from his mum who ran into Anne at the store that Harry wasn’t coming home for the summer, that he got a job at a Bakery in Manchester instead, so he could afford the off campus apartment he rented with a mate of his from Uni.

Zayn tried his very hardest not to snort at the word ‘mate’.

The months go by and with every day that passes he finds himself getting back to normal, his crying fits aren’t as frequent as they once were. Limited now to only when something triggers a thought or memory of Harry like when he was cleaning out his car and found one of Harry’s hair ties under the passenger seat, or when he hears the Friends theme song. He hasn’t eaten a banana in ages but it’s a process and he’s working through it as best he can.

It’s been six months, half a bloody year since he last spoke to Harry, his heart crumbling right there in Harry’s dorm room when a dusty old burnt orange Volkswagen comes chugging into the shop, with an alarming amount of smoke in its tracks.

The driver barely has time to put it in park before the thing finally gives up, with one last choking gasp.

Zayn and Liam come running out to find the cause of such a sound, watching as a small blonde climbs out of the driver’s side. His face lights up with a blinding smile when he spies the two men sporting twin looks of shock and concern, his eyes lingering a few beats longer on Zayn. He looks nervous as he approaches, sticking his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans.

“Hey lads, what’s the craic?”

“Did your car just die?” Liam asks, giving the car a wary glance as though he were afraid it was going to blow up at any minute.

“Erm yeah, poor Luce hasn’t been sounding all that great for a while now.” He said thumbing in the direction of his still smoking vehicle. “Made a deal with her, that if she’d just make it till I got all settled in Uni I’d bring her to the shops for a checkup. Move in day was yesterday and here we are…”

“Oh, so you must go to UWE then.” Liam says, offering the blonde a crinkled smile.

“Yeah, second year.”

“Luce?” Zayn asks belatedly.

“Lucille, my longest relationship to date.” He jokes with a wink that belies his nerves.

Lifting the hood Liam chokes on a cloud of smoke, waving it away. “Dude, I’m pretty sure they stopped making parts for this model back in the 60’s!”

“Know she’s old, family heirloom at this point, do’ya think there’s anything ya can do?”

“Uh, well we’ll deffo look her over for you if you wanted to go for a walk or summat, it’ll be at least half an hour—there’s a diner just across the way if yer hungry, they make a mean bangers and mash.”

“Reckon I might, love bangers and mash, me.”

XXX

He returns exactly thirty minutes later with a beef pasty for each of them which makes Liam grin as he digs right in. Zayn accepts his shyly with a quiet ‘thanks’.

“Oi, so what’s the verdict. Give it to me straight—I can take it.”

“Well um…”

“Niall, the name’s Niall.”

“Right, Niall.” Liam starts, explaining to him what’s wrong with his car, he takes the news like a worried father, wringing his hands in his lap as they let him know it’ll be about a week for the parts to come in.

Niall seems sad to be apart from his beloved car for that long but knows it’s for the best. They get to work having Niall fill out all the necessary paper work before sending him on his way.

He seems to linger a bit for reasons unknown before finally taking off. Once he’s gone Liam turns to Zayn and wiggles his eyebrows.

Zayn is mostly confused.

XXX

A week later Niall is back to collect his car, anyone else would be eager to get in their car and go but again the blonde holds back choosing to stay and make idle small talk with them much to the older boy’s confusion.

XXX

Another week goes by and Niall is back again claiming that Luce has been making this funny noise when he makes left turns, Liam is a bit skeptical but agrees to give her the once over. As he suspected it’s nothing and both he and Zayn agree that it wouldn’t be right to charge the blonde.

XXX

Yet another week finds the blonde moseying into the shop, this time eating an apple.

“Niall, what a pleasant surprise, keep coming around and Zayn’s uncle might hand ya a rag and jumpsuit and put you to work!” Liam joked with a wink.

“That doesn’t sound too bad, help me pay fer some of these god forsaken books!”

“So, what’s wrong with our girl now?” Liam asks, leaning against the car in question.

Niall starts for a second as if just remembering why he was there in the first place.

“Oh, right um, think she could go for an oil change?”

“Hmm, well if that’s all we can do that in no time and have you out of here.”

“Yeah? Ta, but no need to rush or anything, done with me classes for the day and my flats likely to be a zoo about this time.” He’s referring to the three bedroom flat he shares with four other lads (Luke, Mikey, Ashton and Cal) who also attend uni, the four of them makeup a pop rock band on the side that mostly plays Green day and Matchbox twenty covers, but they’re not half bad according to him.

“You know Niall, you don’t need to make up excuses to drop by, I mean so long as you don’t get in the way of our work of course, you’re more than welcome…we’re mates yeah?”

“That right?” He asks, raising a pointed eyebrow in Zayn’s direction.

Shrugging Zayn nodded.

“Um, sure.”

Niall grins. “In that case, hold off on the oil change, I’ll use the money to order us a pizza instead.”

XXX

Niall continues to drop by after his classes to ‘save his ears’ he claims, since the boys used their flat for rehearsals, but Liam had his suspicions that the blonde came around for another reason, a five-foot-nine reason with golden brown eyes and a penchant for drawing.

Zayn’s uncle grumbles about loitering Irishman at first but eventually Niall wins him over with his charms and by bringing food and is allowed to stay so long as he’s not in the way and doesn’t break anything.

Months go by—the semester nearly complete. The three boys growing closer, though their friendship has yet to extend passed the shop. The lads learn things about the blonde about his family and home back in Ireland, sharing funny tales of growing up in Mullingar, what brought him to England—Bristol in particular, and what he was majoring in (engineering with a minor in music) they knew he was a dog person, played guitar, was left handed, and that his favorite past time was eating.

He in turn learned things about them as well, learns about Liam’s boyfriend Ed who has the singing voice of an angel, learns about Zayn’s three sisters, Liam’s fear of spoons, and the fact that Zayn can’t swim.

All thrilling stuff but Liam still finds it odd that they’ve never hung out outside of their work, just lads.

Then one night they run into Niall at a pub not too far from campus, Ed was doing another open mic night and he and Liam had drug Zayn out with them.

They’d sat as close to the stage as they could get and were just settling in with their pints when a familiar laugh caught their attention, looking around it was Zayn who spied him first sat with a huge group of lads and a few birds, one in particular, a blonde who looked to be a few years older Zayn noticed kept close to the Irish lad, hanging on his every word as he spoke—no doubt regaling them with one of his infamous stories if the way his hands kept flying around wildly was anything to go by.

“It’s Niall.” Liam said, stating the obvious. “Think we ought to go over and say hi?”

“You go on, don’t wanna lose our seats.”

“Right, right.” Liam mumbled to himself before taking off. Not a full minute goes by before someone is calling out to him.

“Zayner! Fancy running into the two of ya, what’re you doing over in my neck of the woods?” Zayn looks up to find Niall wearing his usual grin, eyes somehow managing to sparkle in the pub’s dim lighting.

Caught off guard Zayn clears his throat, gesturing to the stage with a flick of his wrist. “Ed, he’s uh performing so…”

“Seriously, you mean I’m finally going to meet the boyfriend? Hear him sing?”

Zayn shrugged one shoulder, speaking to the tabletop.

“If you’re sticking around.”

“We pretty much just got here, me and the lads anyway the rest have been here for a bit already. You?”

“Same, just arrived.”

“Cool. Didja wanna come join us? It’d be a bit tight, but we wouldn’t mind, the more the merrier!”

“Actually, Liam likes to sit close to the stage when Ed performs, but hey we’ll catch up with ya later.”

“Oh, alright then.” Zayn can’t help but note the disappointment in his voice, then chastises himself for thinking he knew the blonde that well.

He watches Niall walk off presumably to rejoin his mates but seconds later he returns with two fresh pints and his ever-present grin and plops down in the seat across from Zayn.

“Um, what’re you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Waiting on the evening’s entertainment to begin.”

“But what about yer mates?” Niall waved him off.

“I see them all the time, live with four of them, think they’ll be ok without me for a night.”

“What about yer uh, girlfriend?”

“My what?” Zayn nodded over to the blonde who made no secret she was watching them, mouth turned down in a frown. She quickly averts her eyes when she notices Niall’s attention. “Oh, do’ya mean Ellie? She’s aces but just a friend, I think she’s gotta crush or whatever but knows it’s pointless.”

“Pointless?”  Zayn asks just as the blonde takes a hefty pull from his glass.

Niall nods, wiping foam from his lip. “Aye, that I don’t go for chits.”

“Oh.”

Niall studies him over his pint. “That’s not gonna be an issue is it?”

“What that you’re gay?” Zayn can’t help but snort. “Would be pretty hypocritical of me since I go for boys too don’tcha think?”

If Niall is surprised by this new information, he hides it well.

“Yeah it would.” He says, taking a generous pull from his drink just as Liam falls into the seat beside him, breathing a little heavier than usual.

“Show starts in five…” He huffs, wiping the faint sheen of sweat off his forehead before noticing the blonde. “Niall you with us tonight?”

“Uh yeah, can chill with that lot anytime seeing you lads outside the shop is a real treat I reckon.”

“Where’ve you been?” Zayn asked, sliding his second pint over to the other boy.

“Went over to meet Niall’s mates—who are a trip by the way, that Mikey especially.” Liam shakes his head fondly. “Then I went backstage to give Ed a little preshow pep talk.”

“A little preshow hanky-panky more like.” Niall jeers with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows that gets Zayn laughing. Niall beams.

“Excuse me Niall, I’ll have you know it was nothing more then a snog for good luck!”

“Riiiight, but on which set of cheeks?” Zayn almost chokes on his beer at the scandalized look on Liam’s face. His mouth opening and closing as he tries to think up an appropriate response, lucky for him the house lights turn down as the blonde girl from earlier, Niall’s mate Ellie takes the stage to introduce Ed.

“Oi, settle down yeah, settle down…thank you.” Ed chuckled into the mic, fiddling with the strings of his guitar for something to do as he gazed out over the sizeable crowd for a Wednesday. “So, I’m Ed and I’m gonna sing a couple songs for you yeah?” He’s answered with a cheer and even a few wolf whistles thrown in making the ginger blush.

“This first song I wrote for someone special and dear to me, it’s called ‘Kiss me’, here goes.”

XXX

The room erupts in applause as Ed takes his bow, waving off their cries for a second encore before slipping from the stage, he’s all smiles as he takes the remaining seat at their table, blushing to his ears as Liam lands a sloppy kiss to his cheek grinning proudly, his eyes glittering with admiration.

“Oi, lemme get in on summa dat.” Niall says surprising Ed when he stands, reaching across the table to take the ginger’s face in both hands, and smacking a comically loud kiss on his other cheek, as if they’re long time mates and not complete strangers. If Ed was at all fazed by this, he didn’t show it.

Liam giggled at the spectacle. “Ed babe this is the bloke I told ya about...Niall this is my Ed.”

“Cheers.” Ed said, thrusting a hand across the table for shaking.

Niall took the proffered hand with a laugh. “Likewise, and mate I gotta tell ya that was wicked, your voice is incredible, and did you really pen them songs yerself? Because they could honestly be played on the radio today—the lot of them!”

“Ta mate…I’ve been writing and performing since I was like twelve so…means a lot.”

“Well hell I’d deffo pay to hear more.” Liam beams with pride as he watches the two of them get on smashingly right from the start.

XXX

More drinks and conversation is passed around the table, throughout it all Zayn remains quiet. This isn’t exactly unusual behavior, he didn’t do it to be rude it was just his nature, he’s always been more of a spectator then a contributor when it came to talking and whatnot, but this was apparently before Niall because after a bit the blonde turns to the older boy.

“Whazza matter, cat got yer tongue?” This startles Zayn who was engrossed in the doodle that he’d been making on the back of a coaster, using the pen he’d nicked from a neighboring table.

“Um no, just a bit quiet…tired I guess.” He said shrugging one shoulder, as if that should be answer enough, and maybe it would’ve been for anyone else, but the blonde wasn’t satisfied and shocked Zayn again by pressing on.

“Oh, so what does Zayn Malik do for fun?”

“Not much, I’m quite boring actually.” The older boy confessed, peeling at the label of his beer as something to do.

Moving forward as if conspiratorially Niall whispers. “Somehow I find that impossible to believe.”

This earns him a small, almost shy smile. “Really, I work and sleep mostly.”

“There’s nothing else? Weird toenail collection, you’re not an aspiring Sou-chef or karaoke champion? Alien enthusiast or secret comic book nerd?” There’s a noticeable change in Zayn’s demeanor at that last one that the blonde doesn’t miss.

“Well…”

“Ah, so that’s it then? You gotta boner for Ironman? Or let me guess good ol’ boy Cap’n America?”

“Deadpool actually but Luke Cage is pretty awesome too…but yeah I’m a bit mad about comic books. I uh, also draw a bit—hope to someday finish my own.”

“Yeah? Sick…can I see what you’ve got there?” Niall asks, gesturing to the coaster doodle.

Zayn pinks. “It’s just a dumb sketch—s’pretty rough.” He warns as he slides it over to the blonde. Niall grips it gingerly and just stops himself from gasping because it’s fucking incredible, he thinks as he takes in the sketch. It’s of Ed’s profile, he’s up on stage grinning down at his guitar looking completely in his element.

“This is…that’s Ed—like it could be a bloody photograph it’s so good…can I, can I have this?”

Zayn bites his lip staring over at Niall as if he’s lost his mind, but underneath it all there’s pride, he’s flattered that Niall likes this insignificant doodle enough to want it. “It’s not even finished, just a terrible thing I did without thinking—sucks.” He insisted, but the Irishman just shook his head.

“And it’s this good? Now I’ve just gotta see something you consider finished, but seriously you mind if I keep this?”

“If you really…” Zayn trailed off, still so very confused.

“I do.”

And although he didn’t understand why, Zayn saw the honesty in the other boy’s eyes and found himself blurting: “Alright then.”

The grin this earned him confirmed that he’d made the right decision. “Mind signing it? For whenever you’re discovered and sketches like this done by you are selling for millions, I can say I knew you when.” Zayn snorts, face heating up, but he humors the blonde by scribbling a stylized Z in the bottom right corner.

XXX

Even more drinks are ordered, funny stories are shared, and laughs had by all. Much too soon the night winds down. Ed and Liam bid them goodnight, headed to the older boy’s flat which is in the opposite direction of Zayn’s. Niall surprises Zayn by falling into step beside him even though his own flat is only a couple blocks away in the other direction.

They start walking, Niall with his hands stuffed into his pockets, kicking idly at a stray pebble or pieces of rubbish lying in his path.

“So, I guess I never asked, but why aren’t you in Uni somewhere studying art…you’re bloody brilliant.” Zayn shrugged, staring down at his grubby sneakers in an effort to avoid making eye contact.

“Uni just isn’t for everyone Niall, take Liam for one.”

“Yeah but I know his story, I’m asking about you.”

Zayn sighs biting his lip. “Art is a one-way ticket to brokesville, didn’t see a point in spending all this money to go to school and studying something that wouldn’t even guarantee me a job after graduation.”

“Huh, just doesn’t make sense, wasting talent like you got.” Niall says, almost to himself sounding truly baffled. Zayn wished he had a better explanation for the blonde, but he just didn’t know what more he could say so he shrugged again, and they lapse into a surprisingly comfortable silence.

It’s another ten minutes before Zayn looks up from where he’d been studying the sidewalk.

“This is me.”

“Yeah?”

Zayn nodded towards the banged-up door to his apartment building. “It’s not much but it’s mine ya know?”

Niall nodded too. “Looks sweet to me, but then anything’s gotta be better then rooming with the four baboons I’m stuck with.” It’s said fondly though, which makes Zayn smile.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then? Coming by the shop?” Zayn ventured shyly.

Niall’s grin is blinding. “Course, still got that poly sci paper to finish up, any requests for lunch?”

“You don’t have to…” He started to protest, not wanting Niall to feel like he had to buy them lunch all the time, didn’t want the blonde to think he needed to buy their friendship.

“Know it.” Niall winked, “but I’m gonna anyway, might as well tell me what you’ve a taste for.”

After another beat of hesitation, Zayn finally relents. “Could go for Chinese, nothing pork though.”

“Shit, Chinese sounds ace, can’t wait…see ya tomorrow Zen.”

“Goodnight Niall.”

XXX

After that, pub night becomes a thing for the four of them. Sometimes Niall’s mates will show up for a pint or two but for the most part it’s just them. Niall still drops by the garage too. Seeming to never get enough of them, always bringing food or he’ll set up in Zayn’s uncle’s office with his course work.

“What that fancy University you go to not got a library?” He’d muttered the first time he caught the blonde at his desk but didn’t make much of a fuss, or bother to shoo him out otherwise.

The closer the three of them become, joking around and getting to know one another the more obvious Niall’s true intentions become. Liam isn’t blind or naïve enough not to see how much Niall favors Zayn.

That its him that he’s really trying to grow close to.

It’s after yet another pub night, Zayn is pissed—he’s drunk more then he has in a good while, certainly more then he’s ever drank around Niall and speaking of the blonde, he’s had his fair share and has just begun warbling naughty limericks to the tune of nursery rhymes, when Liam pawns him off on his roommates entrusting them to see him home safely.

He offers to walk Zayn home, hoping the fresh night air will help to sober him a bit. At Zayn’s insistence he finally agrees to stay the night, if for nothing else then to make sure his friend doesn’t choke on his own vom and die.

It’s a clear night and the breeze feels amazing on his clammy skin as the alcohol makes its way out of his system. There’s hardly any traffic or people around and Zayn seems like he’s in a great mood—still feeling the effects of his drinks no doubt, so Liam figures this is the perfect time to talk.

“Hey Zee.” He starts, interrupting the calm.

Zayn hums and Liam decides to come right out and say it.

“You know you and Niall are basically dating right?”

This causes him to freeze, stopping in his tracks. “Huh?”

Liam stops walking as well, backtracking. “You and Niall you know small, ball of sunshine type human being—always laughing, always eating. Ringing any bells?” He jokes but Zayn doesn’t join in on the laughter. Instead his mouth twists down into a frown, eyebrows furrowing in anger.

“Oi piss off! I know who he is but about the rest…”

Liam puts his hands up in defense.

“Ok but hear me out, you know that’s why he comes around the garage right? To see you, because that’s where you are and at the pub he’ll near wrestle anyone and everyone for the seat beside you.”

“Come off it Payne, s’not even a little funny mate.” Zayn gritted out, eyes flashing with hurt now because the truth was he cared about Niall, he’s tried not to get close to anyone since Harry, not wanting to give someone else the power to break him ever again, but the blonde had weaseled his way in anyway and there was nothing Zayn could do about it.

So, for Liam to start spouting this bullshit about Niall liking him back, it was not only too good to be true but a bit cruel on his mate’s part.

“The boy lights up when you’re around, all you have to do is walk into a room, hell just by existing you make him happier. He looks at you like you hung the moon and strung the stars just for him to enjoy. He laughs at your lame jokes—when you make ‘em.” Liam laughed, but it was weak, cautious as if he was afraid of hurting Zayn further.

“He laughs at everything!” Zayn shouts, throwing his hands up because it was true, Niall just loved life that didn’t mean he lov—liked Zayn in particular.

“Fair point but he’s different around you—soft. He loves bringing new dishes for us to try at lunch and he’s absolutely chuffed whenever you approve.”

Zayn starts to protest further but he’s cut off by Liam. “And you’re no better. The way you’re goofy around him, letting your guard down. You let him get away with things that no one else can like playing with your hair or talking during movies. You look at him like he’s precious and fragile …something you couldn’t bear to see broken, couldn’t bear to lose.”

“I…” Zayn opened his mouth to protest but knew there was nothing he could say that would convince his mate that what he’d said was rubbish because it wasn’t, he’d been caught, and he knew it.

“Face it Zayn, you like him.”

XXX

The next day Zayn isn’t so hungover that he forgets what he and Liam talked about and although he’s still not entirely convinced that Niall—sweet, funny amazing Niall could ever possibly have feelings for him, he can’t deny that there is something about the blonde that draws him in.

He likes the person he is when he’s around him, and figures that if there’s even the smallest chance that Liam is right, and Niall does have feelings for him, that Zayn could have someone like Niall…he can’t let this chance slip away.

It’s his day off and he doesn’t have anything planned aside from doing a load of washing, so he decides to bite the bullet and calls Niall round.

There’s a knock at the door in a matter of minutes and Zayn opens it to reveal the blonde, ever present smile intact.

“Hey, was a bit surprised when you texted, figured you’d be dead to the world.” Zayn can’t help but chuckle because he’d honestly expected to be a zombie after last night.

“Yeah uh, me too but I’m actually fine. Liam made sure I drank a bit of water before bed which helped.”

Niall snorted good-naturedly. “Good ol’ Payno, did he stay the night then?”

“Mmhm, just left a short while ago.”

“Cool. So what’s up? Did you just want to chill or we could go somewhere—have you eaten?”

“Are we dating?” Zayn blurted, causing Niall’s mouth to snap shut in shock, his bright blue eyes blown wide.

“Um, what?”

Zayn wrung his hands together in front of him. “Last night Liam said something, or well a lot of things but the main bit I remember is him saying that you and I were basically dating, and I know he’d been drinking, we all were so he was probably talking shit but…” Zayn hears Niall take a harsh intake of breath and feels something tighten in his chest when he won’t meet his eyes.

“I uh, yeah? I mean I figured you’d catch on eventually but…” Before he can finish, Zayn is throwing his hands up, gripping at his hair.

“You wanker! Why didn’t you say anything?”

Niall shrugged. “Wasn’t sure you…” He was interrupted again as Zayn continued to speak.

“You’ve been dating me all this time, without the benefits.”

This catches Niall off guard. “The what?” He’s answered with a kiss.

It’s soft at first, cautious as though Zayn still isn’t quite sure that he’s allowed, that Niall actually wants this. Then all at once he’s tugging the blonde impossibly closer by the back of his head, gently nibbling at his bottom lip begging for entrance which is instantly granted.

They kiss until they’ve both gone a bit light headed, finally separating but not going too far, their hands now linked between them.

“Whoa.” Niall breathes out eventually, eyes darting between Zayn’s mouth and his eyes and back again, “we definitely should’ve been doing that all along.” Zayn licks his lips just to watch the blonde’s eyes darken with desire and agrees.

The sex is even better.

XXX

2 years later…

 They’re in Niall’s car; a jet-black Audi that replaced Luce when she’d died on him for the last time. His parents had gone in and paid half as a graduation present—he’d aptly named it Lucas (son of Lucille).

Headed to Ed and Liam’s house warming party, after a little over two years of dating they’d finally taken the plunge and moved in together, and then as if that weren’t enough of a commitment they also went and adopted a Great Dane puppy and named him Watson, officially becoming fur parents.

So there Zayn sat in the passenger seat with a potted plant in his lap along side a Pingu chew toy, and a comically large bone in the back.

He looks amazing with his longish hair slicked back and his facial hair neatly trimmed—it was honestly a miracle that they made it out of his flat without Niall dragging him back to the bedroom for a quickie.

“Babe, how was class—did that Twat of a professor call you out like you said he would?” Niall asked, fingers drumming at the steering wheel.

Zayn grinned to himself, thinking not for the first time how lucky he was to have someone like Niall. He not only genuinely took an interest in Zayn’s day, but he was the whole reason Zayn finally enrolled in the first place, taking night courses at the local university. Niall always saw the best in him and wanted Zayn to see it too.

He saw the way Zayn was always drawing or painting in his spare time, how happy it made him and he was good, fan-fucking-tastic in fact and he’d be damned if he went on letting Zayn deprive the world of his talents. It took threatening to shave his eyebrows off and dye his pubes green, not to mention enrolling Zayn behind the older man’s back but Zayn finally agreed and now three semesters in, he was thriving.

All this time he hadn’t known what he was missing, not only the artistic aspects but the academics as well. Every day he was challenged to learn more, be better and he loved it, could never thank Niall enough.

“Naw, saw him going for it but then that know-it all Derek spoke up as usual—going off about summat and distracted him.”

“Saved by the brown nose eh?”

“Thank god, didn’t get around to doing last night’s reading thanks to a certain blonde and his over active libido.” Zayn said mock glaring in Niall’s direction.

Niall didn’t look even a little sorry. “Weren’t complaining when I had me tongue buried in yer hole.”

“Not complaining now either…or about the fantastic blowjob that made me late for class this morning.”

“Hm, had to occupy my mouth somehow while you made us brekkies.”

“Nearly burnt myself when you did that thing with yer tongue and my balls though, wasn’t expecting it.”

“Full of surprises, me…gotta keep you on your toes.” He finished with a wink.

“Speaking of surprises, I’ve got a question for you. I’ve already spoken to Li just to see if I’m off my mark and he thinks it’d be aces but what do you think about us moving in together?”

“Oh, uh wow.” Zayn swallowed loudly, because it’s not that he didn’t love Niall, of course he did. But this was a huge step and all he could think about was the last time he pictured himself moving in with someone—it brought up thoughts of Harry. In all honesty he hasn’t thought of him in ages but now it’s all he can think of.

All the dreams and plans they’d had for each other—living together, getting a cat, and it was all too much.

Niall let out a humorless laugh. “O-kay not exactly the cheer of excitement I was hoping for…”

Zayn cursed Harry for putting these doubts in his head as he watched the blonde’s face fall.

“No, I’m sorry babe it’s just you don’t think it’s a bit soon?”

“I thought about it, that’s why I asked Liam first but I—I care about you Zayn, hell I love you and I’m ready to take the next step if you are.” Taking his eyes off the road for a second to meet Zayn’s.

“Ni, you know I love you too but I’m just not—I’m not ready.”

“Alright, I respect that. Can’t blame a guy for asking.” He joked but it was weak even to Zayn’s ears. Without thinking he grabbed Niall’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze that promised one day, that he’d be ready one day.

Niall squeezed back because he got it.

XXX

The party is already in full swing when they arrive, adding their gifts to the table in the corner before giving both boys a hug in greeting.

Liam disappears soon after doing his job as the perfect little host. Offering people refreshments, setting out finger foods and making sure the chip and dip bowls never run out. While Ed is the complete opposite sitting relaxed on the couch with a brew in his hand, surrounded by his mates.

Looking around Zayn spies a slew of familiar faces, people he hasn’t seen in ages like Nick and Pix laughing in the kitchen and decides to avoid them for as long as he can. Spies Calum and Luke cuddled up in an armchair that clearly wasn’t meant for two, their limbs hanging off in nearly every direction, but Zayn can’t help but smile at the picture they made, and figures they finally got their heads out of their arses long enough to see the heart eyes they held for each other and couldn’t be happier for them. He also catches a glance of Perrie and the girls, she looks good—happy with her arm around the waist of a fit lad he doesn’t recognize and makes a mental note to catch up with her sometime soon.

They’ve been there for about an hour and a half and Zayn can already feel himself growing tired, he’s not a big party animal so outings like this tend to take a lot out of him, but he didn’t mind it tonight—because it was for Liam and he did a lot of things he didn’t want to do for Liam. He’s sat on the floor in front of the couch with Watson lying between his spread legs belly up as he shamelessly begged to be rubbed, not that Zayn minded one bit, all too happy to oblige really.

Leave it to him to be in a room full of people and naturally gravitate towards the dog. He’s thankful for the company though because it gives him something to do other than glare across the room where Niall stood chatting closely with Ellie, a tray of boneless wings between them, watches Niall offer her some which was quite uncharacteristic for him.

He’d never admit it, but he was jealous, could feel his blood boiling just beneath his skin, with every casual brush of her fingers to Niall’s arm as she laughed at something he said. Niall was charming without even trying and given the fact that she’d once had a huge crush on him put Zayn completely on edge.

Lost in thoughts of tearing Ellie’s hair from her head in a jealous rage, Zayn must scratch at Watson a little too roughly causing the pooch the bark his displeasure. This draws Niall’s attention to them and the two catch eyes. Zayn hopes his embarrassment at being caught staring doesn’t show on his face and cleverly buries his nose in Watson’s neck both as an apology and to hide.

When he feels its safe enough to, Zayn peeks over to the blonde to find he is once more engrossed in conversation but doesn’t miss the smug smirk now on his lips and frowns.

XXX

Liam and Ed are waving the last of their guests out when Zayn comes out from the bathroom, coat in hand.

“Are you sure we can’t stick around to help you clean up?”

“For the tenth time yes Zayn, I appreciate the offer but you’re a guest. We got this, just get home safe and I’ll be happy.”

“Alright.”

The drive home is quiet save for the radio playing softly. Niall hasn’t said much beyond how nice it was to catch up with old friends. Zayn looks for that smirk again, any tell that he’s talking about Ellie in particular but finds none.

This however does nothing to erase the images playing over and over in Zayn’s mind of the two of them standing too close for comfort, of Ellie’s flirtatious touches and how Niall did nothing to brush them away.

It’s not that Zayn thought Niall wanted her, he knew his boyfriend was ‘strictly dickly’ as Niall liked to say and more importantly madly in love with him, but there was still a part of Zayn that wishes Niall would’ve done something to discourage her, had let her know he was very much taken, had slapped her filthy slaggish hands off what belonged to him.

Before long they’re home, or well at Zayn’s home.

They enter the flat, Niall moving to toss his coat onto the couch, his back to Zayn.

“Babe wanna see if we can catch an episode of Bake off before bed or…” He starts but is cut off by Zayn grabbing him by his shirt collars and hauling him forward—catching him mouth first.

“Fuck Zee, wha—what’s gotten into you?”

“Her hands, they were all over you.” Zayn mumbled as he trailed kisses down Niall’s neck, already getting to work on the buttons of his burgundy button down.

“Who…Ellie? Oh come on babe you’re not honestly jealous? Of her?”

Zayn doesn’t answer just continues to work the shirt open while also leading the two of them down the hall towards his bedroom. Niall lets out a snicker but allows his shirt to be slipped from his shoulders and raises his arms obediently so that his undershirt could follow suit.

It’s with his pants and underwear pooled at his feet that he’s shoved onto the bed, Zayn crawling up after him to blanket his body, the darker man still fully clothed.

“You’re mine is the thing, so no one—not a chit or another bloke should ever dare put their hands on you.” Niall’s eyes flash with excitement at this new side, physically shivering with pleasure as he watched Zayn take his hardening dick in one hand, while cupping the back of Niall’s neck with the other to bring their foreheads together.

“Mine.” He growls again before slamming their mouths together, it’s rough and heated and so fucking wet but good that Niall can barely keep up. Not knowing where to focus on the filthy kiss or the slow, teasing strokes to his cock.

“Shit Zayn, faster—please.” He moans, trying to thrust up into the other man’s fist, searching for friction and whining when this only succeeded in slowing Zayn down.

“Nuh-uh…we’re doing this my way babe, gotta teach you a lesson yeah?” And fuck, they’ve not done this before, a little delayed gratification, not that Niall was complaining—yet.

“You see I had all night practically to think about this, while I watched the two of you looking cozy as can be in the corner whispering, and laughing, and bloody touching.” He growled the last word, leaning down to nip playfully at Niall’s bottom lip before making his way down his torso.

“Thought about all that I would do to you, starting with blowing you nice and slow, keeping you on edge. Making you feel so good, like you could come any second.” He pauses to blow on Niall’s painfully hard dick, smirking when it twitches right before his eyes.

“But of course, I wouldn’t let you...I won’t, not until I’ve gotten my fill, riding you until my eyes roll to the back of my head and then, only then will I think about letting you come…how’s that sound babe?”

All Niall can manage is a whimper as he watches his dick disappear down Zayn’s throat as he’s swallowed to the root.

“Christ.”  Zayn smiles around Niall’s dick, coming up to swirl his tongue painstakingly slow around the head. Dragging out the blonde’s pleasure, driving him almost mad with it.

“So good.” Niall mumbled, bringing a hand up to trace Zayn’s cheek, feeling the outline of his dick just underneath.

“Zee, please.” He begged needing to come. But Zayn did the complete opposite instead of speeding up, bringing his lover to release he let Niall’s slick member fall from his lips, smirking at the agonized groan this produced.

“Not yet babe, I told you, you’re not to come until I’ve had mine.”

“Jesus, hop on then.” He growled, slapping at his milky white thighs in invitation. Zayn could only chuckle, loving the frustration etched on Niall’s face, shaking his head as he reached into the bedside table for the half-used bottle of lube he kept there.

“Ye-yes, now we’re talking…give it here.” Niall said, gesturing for the bottle but again Zayn shakes his head. Scooting out of the blonde’s reach, setting the lube aside he begins slowly stripping the clothes from his body, keeping steady eye contact as one by one each article is strewn across the room until he’s knelt there naked, basking in the blonde’s attention, feeling his blue eyes rove his body like a laser pointer.

Niall never got tired of the sight of Zayn in all his beautiful naked glory—never could. Each time he found something new to marvel over, like living art Zayn was.

Sitting back on his heels Zayn grabbed the lube back up, flipping the cap to pour a generous amount onto three fingers before reaching back to open himself up, gasping at the first press, closing his eyes as the first finger breached the rim, easing its way inside.

“Oh god Zayn you look so…”

Zayn moaned under the blonde’s praise pulling out, only to return with two digits this time, in just as much of a hurry to have Niall in him, his will power only went so far and this taking his time bit wasn’t just torturous for the blonde.

“So beautiful babe—gorgeous…just like that yeah? Feels so good I bet.” Zayn moaned again, louder and longer as he began riding his own fingers—all three of them, they weren’t even half as thick as Niall, but they felt so fucking good the brunette got nearly carried away, breathing heavy as sweat already began to bead all over his body with his efforts.

“Fuck, could come just like this, just—just on my fingers…should do to punish you…have you watch me come and leave you there hard all night, not allowed to touch to relieve yerself.”

“No, please…I’m sorry Zayn—she meant nothing, you know this Zee, come on!” Niall begged, the muscles in his throat straining with his efforts to keep his voice steady, in control.

“Yeah mm…yeah I know you’re mine.” Zayn barked, daring Niall to challenge him.

Instead the blonde nodded frantically. “Always, all yours babe.”

Zayn opens his eyes to meet Niall’s own, the look is so electrically charged it’s as though a live current literally zings through him, and without another word his fingers slip from his hole as he all but scrambles to straddle the blonde’s thighs.

“Zee, god.” Niall says in wonder, staring up at Zayn as though he was a priceless work of art.

“In me, in me now Niall, need you.” The darker boy whined, already squirming in the blonde’s lap.

“I got you darlin’, let me take care of the rest yeah?” Niall muttered almost to himself as he reached around Zayn, taking his hard dick in hand and guiding it where he needs to be. Using his free hand to rest on Zayn’s hip, holding him steady.

Their moans are simultaneous as Zayn sinks down, engulfing Niall in familiar heat. And god it’s always amazing being inside Zayn, it’s honestly his favorite place on earth being so connected to the man he loves.

When it came to riding Niall’s cock, Zayn Malik was in a class of his own. Alternating between rolling his hips, all finesse, putting on a show for the blonde and bouncing with abandon too far gone to care about how he looked—chasing that magnificent release.

That’s where he’s at now, using Niall’s chest for balance, Zayn ruts himself on Niall’s dick—using him, nails leaving angry red streaks in the blonde’s pale skin as he grunts. His own dick stiff as it bounced along with his movements, dark and gorgeous.

“Gonna cum…shit I’m gonna…” Zayn panted, all but collapsing onto Niall’s chest, their heated skin flush to one another.

“Yeah, babe come on, cum for me petal, you look so—fuck, ridin’ me like its yer bloody duty.”

“Ca—can’t, need you to…” Zayn didn’t even need to finish as Niall took a hold of his hips, taking over as he fucks up into Zayn, pounding away until the darker boy finally let out this keening noise and came, the blonde right behind him coming with a relieved shout.

“That’ll—that’ll teach ya.” Zayn panted, as he fell back against the pillow beside Niall, feeling the sweat already cooling to his body.

“You sure showed me babe, reckon I won’t let anyone even look at me funny, not after that.” Niall said mock-seriously, his words still a bit labored.

Placating or not, Zayn gave a firm nod as if to say: your damn right.

XXX

Zayn’s just getting in from class, stopping into the curry shop on the corner for some takeout for him and Niall when he runs into a familiar face. He nearly has to rub his eyes to ensure that he’s not dreaming because right before his very eyes is Harry, coming out of the grocery store next door. In his hands he’s holding a plastic bag filled with just two items.

A bunch of bananas and a pack of Extra gum.

At the sight Zayn is instantly assaulted with memories of kissing Harry and tasting that exact odd mixture on his tongue.

“Zayn?” Zayn blinks from his reverie to see that the taller lad has noticed him as well, grinning widely in his direction.

He feigns surprise. “Harry? Oh wow how are you?”

Harry’s smile is blinding, stretching across his entire face. “Shit, can’t believe it, haven’t been home a day and I’ve already run into you. Aren’t I lucky?” He catches Zayn off guard by moving in for an albeit awkward hug.

Pulling away Zayn rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. “Sure, but what’re you doing here?”

“Not happy to see me?” Harry teased with a playful pout, tilting his head in a way that sent his curls cascading over one eye, they’d grown quite a lot over the years.

“Didn’t say that, I just remember how badly you wanted to leave this crummy old town, reckoned you’d never come back.”

Harry shrugged in a what’re you gonna do way. “You caught me. I’m actually home for Gem’s wedding if you can believe it. The ol’ girl’s gettin’ hitched.”

“Seriously? Her and Bradley?”

The taller man snorted, waving him off. “Heavens no, they didn’t even make it a year thank god, she’s marrying a nice bloke called Patrick.”

“Well good for her, you’ll send her my regards, won’t you?”

“Of course, or…”

Zayn drew back at the all too familiar tone, nothing good ever came from that tone. It often meant the younger lad was about to let Zayn in on one of his infamous harebrained ideas.

“Or?” He ventured, because just like old times his interest was piqued.

“Well, you could always come as my plus one.”

“What?” Zayn sputtered because out of all the things he could’ve imagine Harry suggesting—this hadn’t even made the cut.

“Couldn’t wrangle myself a date. Nick’s out of town, Ed’s all but married himself, and Gem’s never been a fan of Alexa after the whole curling iron fiasco.” He finished with a roll of his eyes.

“What about Louis?” Zayn asked boldly, not missing the way Harry flinches at the name.

“We’re not—not really on speaking terms.”

“Oh?”

Harry scuffed the toe of his boot against the pavement. “’Hear he’s reconnected with an ex of his and they’re already expecting a little boy.”

“Sorry to hear it didn’t work out for you two.” Zayn said and was surprised to find that he meant it. Sure he’d hated the thought of the two of them, went months cursing Louis’ name for coming between them, for ruining everything.

But the truth of the matter is he loved Harry—had been in love with him and couldn’t just turn that off like flipping a switch, and a side effect of such a love was that he still wanted Harry to be happy, even if that meant he were happy because of someone else.

“Eh, it happens we were supposed to stay mates but that never really turns out the way you want it to does it?”

“Still…” Zayn trailed, pouting. But Harry was quick to shoo him and his sad eyes away.

“Enough about me, how’ve you been? The years have certainly been kind, you look even better at twenty-one if possible.” Zayn felt a shiver go down his spine as he felt Harry’s eyes on him, admiring him from head to toe, could see the desire in those striking green eyes.

“Oh hush.”

Harry bit his lip going shy all of a sudden. “Don’t expect someone hasn’t snatched you up by now.”

Zayn can’t help but smile at just the thought of his boyfriend. “I’m seeing someone, have been for a little over two years now. His name’s Niall, he’s in radio, and he’s lovely.”

If there’s a flash of disappointment in Harry’s eyes Zayn pretends not to notice. “Cool, hope he knows what a lucky lad he is.”

“He does. He’s very good to me.”

“Right, so I noticed you haven’t given me an answer.”

“To what question?”

“Gem’s wedding, wanna be my date?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, dimples out and proud.

Zayn shot him an incredulous look. “Harry of course not I—I couldn’t!”

“Course you can…”

“But it’s so last minute…” He reminded then mentally slapped himself for thinking of that first rather then the most obvious reason of all…Niall!”

“There’s still about a week until the big day, just say the word and I’ll get Gemma to add you to her seating chart.”

“Haz, I have a boyfriend.”

Harry sighed, suddenly finding his nails extra interesting. “I heard you the first time Z, and it’s not as if I’m asking you to marry me. Just come to my sister’s wedding, as my mate. It’d seriously make her day, she’s always loved you, think she secretly wishes you were her brother not me truthfully.” Zayn knew the younger boy was talking out his arse as close as those two were, but before he could respond Harry trudged on.

“Look you were headed somewhere weren’t you, you don’t have to give me an answer right now, why don’t you think it over, take my number and text me. I’d like to at least do dinner—catch up properly.” He says grabbing Zayn’s phone from his hand without a word and plugging his number into the contacts.

“Erm, alright.” Zayn says belatedly, as if in a daze.

“There. I texted myself so I’ll have your number as well. It was lovely seeing you Z…I’ve really missed you.” Harry said the last bit in a near whisper and with a final wave he was gone.

 For a while Zayn just stood there, curry growing cold as he stared at the last place Harry had been, still unable to believe that he’d really been there at all. Feeling like he was standing in the aftermath of some kind of natural disaster a hurricane, or maybe a tornado—seemed to fit Harry to a t actually, it was just like him to show up out of nowhere, without any warning at all but to wreck Zayn’s entire being in just the blink of an eye.

He honestly didn’t know how he felt about all this, before the night of Liam and Ed’s housewarming he hadn’t thought about Harry let alone thought he’d ever see him again, and it’s not like seeing him brought up old feelings because he’d moved on long ago, was in love with Niall now but he couldn’t deny how good Harry looked—different with his hair being so much longer, his jeans tighter than skin, and his silky top with such a loud pattern and unbuttoned nearly to his navel but for as much as he’s changed he was also still so Harry.

With his dimples, and eyes and the way he still blurted his thoughts without really thinking them through…the fact that he honestly thought Zayn would agree to attend Gem’s wedding as his date, platonic or not.

It was insane, but what was even crazier is that for just a moment, a split second really…he considered it.

XXX

When he enters his flat he goes about his usual routine of dropping his keys into the bowl by the door and hangs his jacket up before heading towards the dining/living room where he can hear the football game Niall’s watching.

“Babe is that you?” The blonde calls from over the back of the couch.

Zayn nods even though the other man can’t see him. “Uh yeah, s’me.”

“Class run a bit long?”

Zayn checked his watch and cursed when he realized how late it was, he and Harry must’ve talked a lot longer than he thought.

“Shit, I’m sorry babe, the food’ll probably have to be heated up, I ran into someone on my way home.”

“Oh yeah?” Niall asked, fighting his way out of the couch cushions of death in order to join Zayn at the table.

“Mmhm, Harry Styles.”

Niall did a doubletake. “Harry? Your ex-boyfriend Harry?”

“Yep.”

“He back in town?”

Zayn nodded. “His older sister is getting married next weekend.”

“Well, that’s nice innit?”

“Suppose so.”

“Did’ya catch up then? It’s been what two years since ya last saw each other?”

“About that yeah, we didn’t really get to talk that long because it was getting late but we exchanged numbers and he wants to have dinner before he leaves, that’s alright isn’t it?”

To his surprise Niall lets out a loud laugh. “Gee Zayn you ask as though I’m your keeper or summat. You’re grown if you wanna go to dinner with an old friend then don’t let me stop ya.”

“You really don’t mind?”

Niall shrugged, lip caught between his teeth. “Why would I?” He asks, and the truth is Zayn’s been pretty mum when it came to his past relationships. It’s not that Niall felt that Zayn was keeping that part of himself a secret, knew that if Niall asked about them that Zayn would divulge him said information, he just didn’t go out of his way to offer it freely and Niall never bothered to ask.

Figured he had Zayn now who cared what led him there, reckoned it was those other fool’s losses.

He did know that Zayn had been healing from a recent-ish relationship when they met, and that the reason for all the walls Zayn built around himself was because of a bloke who’d messed around on Zayn.

So, he really shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

“Well, alright then. I’ll just text him so we can set something up.”

“Sounds good, hey how about you go grab a quick shower while I heat everything up for us.”

“That’d be amazing Ni, god what did I do to deserve you?”

Niall playfully blew on his knuckles before polishing them on his shoulder.

“Some guys, they just have it all. Don’t they?”

XXX

He’s in the middle of an oil change when Liam sidles up to the driver side, face pinched with worry. Standing up straight Zayn swipes at his forehead, leaving a smear of oil in his wake unbeknownst to him.

“What’s got you making yer ‘Liam face’?”

Liam’s frown deepens. “First of all, what does that mean?”

“It’s this look you have, a cross between puppy eyes and constipation I reckon…the ‘Liam look’.” He finished wiggling his hands as if to say ta-da!

“Ugh, I’m sorry I asked…arsehole…but enough about that you’ll never guess who rang Ed up last night, who is currently back in town…”

“Harry Styles.” Zayn said at the exact same time as Liam “Harry Sty—wait how did you know?”

“You’re a bit late, already ran into him coming out of Sainsbury’s.” Zayn said looking around for a rag to wipe his hands on.

“Shit, so what happened then, was it weird, was he alone…did you draw blood?” Liam asked, handing him a semi-clean flannel.

“What no, of course not we didn’t even finish on bad terms…like it sucked, like really sucked and I was devastated but I never hated him, could certainly never hurt him.”

Zayn is almost sure he imagined Liam’s look of disappointment. “Right so what happened then?”

“Not much really, just a load of small talk he’s—uh changed a bit and found out Gem’s getting married.”

“Knew that already.” Liam said with a smug smile that really irked him, made him want to wipe that smirk right off his handsome face.

“He asked me to dinner.”

That did it, as Liam’s eyes grew to the size of saucers.

“What—did you not tell him about Nialler?”

“Course I did, what the fuck Li…he just wants to catch up is all, as mates.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “Right but you still said no.” Zayn at least had the decency to blush as he tried to explain.

“I was going to, I mean it’s bound to get awkward yeah? But when I asked Niall he was surprisingly chill about it all, said I should go. Practically dialed the phone for me so I could suss out the details.” Liam’s jaw dropped.

“You’re taking the piss.”

“I assure you I’m not, said I didn’t have to ask for ‘permission’.”

“But he can’t have meant it, he’s just doing that thing—that ‘Niall thing’.”

It was Zayn’s turn to look confused.

“What’s that?”

“You know that thing where Niall would do any and everything to ensure your happiness because he’s bloody mad for you and even if that means sacrificing his own happiness, even when you’re too thick to see it.”

“So you don’t think I should go to dinner? Even though he said…”

Liam sighed, raising a hand to cut him off. “Look, I’m not telling you what to do, I just know I wouldn’t be ok with Ed going to dinner with his ex.”

“Nina? But she’s lovely…”

“Zayn, that’s so not the point!”

And Zayn got it, knew that part of the reason he was so annoyed with his mate right now was because he was just speaking the truth, saying out loud what Zayn’s been thinking ever since running into his ex…but there was a part of him, a huge part of him that wanted to catch up with Harry, hear about what he’s been up to and more importantly show the younger lad how well he’s been doing without him, that losing someone like Harry hadn’t broken him.

“Liam, I appreciate your advice, really I do, but I think I know my relationship a little better then you, and we’ll be fine. Niall didn’t seem like he was bothered and he’s a shite liar.”

“If you say so Zee.”

“I do, now will you scram so I can finish here, I swear this has to be the longest oil change in world history.”

Liam made a noise, clearly not happy about Zayn’s decision but stayed quiet as he straightened up and turned to leave, no doubt to get started on that tune-up he’d been avoiding for most of the afternoon but not before sticking his tongue out like the five-year-old he was.

XXX

That night they’re watching some Liam Neeson film, Niall’s head pillowed in Zayn’s lap while the older man cards his fingers through his hair.

“Babe.”

Niall hummed, still focused on the movie.

“You’re really ok with me having dinner with Harry, right?” There’s a loaded pause before Niall finally rolls himself up into a sitting position.

“Told ya I was, what’s this all about?”

Zayn shrugs. “Well, Liam seems to think you’re only saying you’re ok to make me happy. But I don’t want to go if you’re secretly upset.”

“But I’m not, like I trust you—trust us. Know what we have is too strong ta let something like an ex-boyfriend mess that up. If I asked ya not to go, it’d be like admitting there’s reason to doubt that.”

Zayn is struck speechless, taking in Niall’s expression, reads the truth in his blue eyes and swallows loudly. “Niall I—” He starts but trails off as the blonde gets that look in his eyes, that look that straddles the line of playful and sinful as he reaches for Zayn’s fly.

“But just in case he gets any wild ideas, reckon I might just have to remind ya what’s waititn’ fer you back home yeah?”

“What’dya mean…Oh!” Zayn moans as the blonde’s hand disappears down his pants.

XXX

It’s about five minutes until he’s meant to clock out when Harry comes waltzing into the garage. At first Zayn does a double take not believing what he’s seeing. Harry dressed from head-to-toe in VSL Saint Laurent, his curls framing his gorgeous face looking completely out of place in his uncle’s tiny, rundown repair shop.

“Haz—what are you, what’re you doing here?”

“Thought I’d pick you up from work for dinner—all gentlemanly.”

“Pfft, you can’t think I’m going to dinner looking like this, surely.” He said gesturing to his work clothes, he’d opted out of his gray work jumpsuit and stood in a fitted pair of jeans and an oil stained vest.

“What’s wrong with that, I happen to think you look delicious…always loved yer arms.”

“Piss off, I’m going home to change.”

“Alright, alright I figured as much so I went to the liberty of dropping by the shops to pick something up for you.”

“No you didn’t Haz!”

“It’s nothing just a pair of trousers, a jumper and a pair of shoes not a three-piece Armani suit or summat.”

Zayn huffs. “That’s not the point, I have my own clothes I don’t need you…you shouldn’t have is the thing.”

“Duly noted, won’t do it again…now will you take these and go get dressed. Wouldn’t want to be late for our reservation, now would you?”

And no, he didn’t want that so without further protest he snatched the shopping bag and with a scowl he disappeared into the restroom to change.

He returns minutes later wearing clothes that according to the labels would probably cost him an entire paycheck.

“Damn.” Harry blurts when his eyes catch on Zayn, then shaking his head he corrects himself. “I mean, they fit well, nice to know your sizes haven’t changed.”

“Yeah well, that’s about all that hasn’t changed.”

“Hmm, is that so? Guess we’ve got all night to find out.” Harry said, a challenge in his eye.

“Not all night.”

“Right, right. I know, my car’s out front.”

“Still got the Rover I see.”

“Guess you’re not the only one not too fond of change eh?”

Zayn says nothing, just climbs into the passenger seat once Harry uses his car door opener to unlock it. They drive in comfortable silence with whatever Indie Spotify playlist Harry has playing softly in the background.

The longer they drive the further away from town they grow, and Zayn finally realizes they’re not headed to a restaurant, especially when they pull into the driveway of a familiar beach house and he feels his blood turn cold.

Without a word Harry shuts off the ignition and all but jumps from the car, pausing to make sure Zayn follows before finding Julio the gnome with his bright orange hat and the hidden house key beneath his feet, even though it’s obvious that Harry’s already been to the house once that evening because the lights are on inside.

He offers Zayn a quick grin before taking the porch steps two at a time, you can smell dinner from the doorway and there’s music playing. Zayn raises an eyebrow. Because he doesn’t know how to feel about all of this—any of this. He’d been expecting to eat at some fancy restaurant, most likely the new Italian one because their tiny town only really have four decent eateries.

Harry hangs back to allow Zayn to enter first, his stomach immediately growling at the amazing aroma that assaults his senses.

After closing the door Harry leads them into the dining room, on the way they pass the couch and goosebumps break out all over Zayn’s body as he remembers what took place there. Flashes of their first time together go whirring through his mind.

“Wow, the memories yeah? Harry says suddenly, breaking the silence as he nods to the couch, making Zayn choke on his bite of lasagna.

“H, what’re you doing?”

“Um, eating?”

“No I don’t mean.” He waved his hand around the room. “What was the point of all this, bringing me here of all places?”

“Oh, well you know how much I love cooking, haven’t had a reason to cook for in a while and figured it’d be better then going to a stuffy old restaurant.”

“But why here?” He presses, eyes narrowing a bit at the way Harry seems to be stalling.

“I don’t know, I just…” Zayn snorted.

“I know exactly what you just…and let me just stop you there. I’m with someone else Harry. Do you know what that means? I’m sorry it didn’t work out with you and Louis, I am. But it was your idea to end things between us—you chose him. And now that he’s not in the picture anymore you think you can just come back here and I’d fall back into your arms. What did you really think I was sitting here for the past two years waiting for you to return to collect me? Well fuck you, I’ve moved on and I’m happy Haz. I love Niall…Liam was right, this needs to stop.”

“Liam? What does he have to do with anything?”

“Besides the fact that he was there to pick up every one of the pieces you shattered me into. He happens to be a good friend of both me and Niall’s and he told me not to come tonight, that nothing good could come from the two of us reconnecting but I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and you go and do this.”

“Zayn I…”

“You know what. I’m not very hungry, you think you just could take me home?”

“Of course.” Harry says in a small voice, like a scolded child.

He passes the couch again on his way out, but this time it only fuels his anger towards the other man.

“I’ll wash these clothes and have them back to you soon.” Is all Zayn says, unfastening his seatbelt.

Harry puts the car in park, turning towards him. “Zayn, please.” He starts but Zayn ignores him, keeps his back to him for good measure.

“Goodbye Harry.” He whispers, slipping out the car without a glance over his shoulder.

XXX

The next morning he’s awoken by his mobile vibrating on his night stand. Glaring at it as if that simple act would stop its incessant buzz buzz, he finally huffs out a breath and makes a grab for the unholy device. Squinting at the time he frowns further when he sees it’s not even 10, he doesn’t have to be to work for another hour. He’s pissed, and thinks that whoever has messaged him better literally be on fire.

Harry: Good morning

Is what he finds, and he wishes this didn’t immediately soothe some of his annoyance because If anything hearing from Harry should further infuriate him, but it doesn’t, he’s glad the younger lad didn’t let this fight between them fester—that he knew Zayn enough to know that it would have to be him who broke first. Seeing there was a second message he scrolls.

Harry: I’m sorry, about last night…about everything.

Zayn: Harry what do you want?

 Just because he was glad that the other man had broke the ice didn’t mean he forgave him, that he wasn’t going to have to work just a little.

Harry: Told Gem that I invited you to the wedding

Harry: She’s over the moon

If looks could kill Harry would be pushing up daisies, he couldn’t believe that wanker went behind his back and told Gemma something like that, getting her hopes up when he very well told him no!

Zayn: What?!?!? Why would you do that, I never said I would go with you!

Harry: Told her that, don’t worry only said that I invited you

Harry: Not that you said yes

Harry: Still have plenty of time to change that tho

Zayn: Harry! You’re insufferable!

Harry: Remember a time when you used to love that about me

Zayn: Another time, another me

Harry: Yeah, really miss that guy…

XXX

It feels like forever since the lot of them went out on a genuine pub night, with Niall graduated and working full time and Liam with his new job working for his dad’s construction company. It’s harder for them all to find the time to get together but tonight is the exception and they meant to take full advantage.

It’s technically karaoke night not open mic night tonight but the bartender catches sight of Ed at the door and with a friendly grin and clap on the back he convinces the ginger to get up on stage and play a few tunes, not that it takes much convincing as an elementary school music teacher Ed relished the opportunity to play his original songs.

They’re about three drinks in when Harry comes waltzing into the bar, Nick, Pix, Alexa and a few new faces following closely after and by the look on Nick’s face, the turned-up angle of his nose Zayn can tell the taller man wasn’t exactly there of his own accord.

Their eyes meet from across the room and Harry’s face practically lights up as he makes his way over, barely sparing his mates a glance back to see if they were following.

Zayn sits up straighter in his seat, gripping his beer bottle just a tad too tightly as he clears his throat, wonders if he should warn his friends of their impending company or to feign ignorance, in the end he stays mum, biting his lip as Harry approaches.

“Well, well, well fancy seeing you lot here.” Harry says in lieu of greeting he speaks generally as if to the entire table, but his eyes are trained on Zayn. Niall spares the taller man a curious glance, eyes trailing between him and his boyfriend and back in obvious confusion, a silent question on his lips.

He gets his answer when Ed crows “’Arry!” Shoving his chair from the table to stand and come round for a hug. Niall’s brows shoot up into his hairline, and this time when his eyes catch on the taller man it’s with a hint of fascination as he takes him in from head to toe, sizing him up a bit.

“Edward, you’re looking well, married life suits you.”

“Oi, piss off. Ed says fondly, looking pleased. “Glad to see you found the place.”

“Wait you knew about this?” Liam sputters, arms crossed over his chest in betrayal.

Ed looks genuinely confused by his boyfriend’s anger and shrugs. “Huh? Oh well yeah? H and I have been meaning to meet up while he’s in town, so we can catch up, but my schedule just hasn’t allowed it until tonight, figured I could kill two birds with one stone yeah?”

“Hiiii, you must be Liam, I’ve heard loads about you.”

Liam studies Harry’s hand but makes no move to grip it. “And you’re the infamous Harry Styles. I’ve heard my fair share about you as well.”

“All good things I hope.” Liam remains silent, causing the younger lad to chuckle uncomfortably.

“Right, well this is quite the darling reunion, but more importantly who might I ask is this tasty treat?” Nick says, cutting in in his usual dramatic fashion.

“Who me?” Niall asked, bringing a hand up to his chest for emphasis, even going so far as to look around him in uncertainty.

“Oh, and he’s Irish.” Nick swoons, making a face.

“Name’s Niall—Niall Horan I’m…”

“Zayn’s boyfriend.” Harry cuts in, offering the blonde a wide, friendly grin. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, you’re all he talked about the other night.”

“Yeah, uh and yer Harry, right?” Niall muttered, a bit bewildered.

“Yep.” Harry said with a curt nod. Niall nodded too, slowly before scrambling to his feet.

“Well then the pleasure is all mine I reckon.” He insists, sticking out his hand. Harry takes it with a tilt of his head, trying to read something in Niall’s bright smile.

“Hey why don’t we push our tables together and make a party of it?” Pixie suggests as she drapes her fur shawl over the back of the nearest chair.

They do just that and Zayn feels his anxiety levels rise watching as Harry takes up the seat right beside Niall. He honestly expects the worse, that the two wouldn’t get along.

That Harry would say something wildly inappropriate about their past, making the blonde uncomfortable and/or angry but to Zayn’s shock the two get on like houses, Niall actually laughs at Harry’s dad jokes and terrible puns much to the dimpled man’s delight and Harry sits practically on the edge of his seat as he listens to one of Niall’s many stories from his life back in Ireland.

Zayn doesn’t know how he feels about this new development, doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel when your current and ex boyfriends strike up an unlikely friendship.

The night is winding down, not quite over but not as lively as it was at the beginning of it, they’re about four rounds of tequila shots in when Niall disappears mysteriously.

Ed’s already been up on stage three times but he’s really beginning to feel his drinks so when he tries taking the stage for a fourth time he’s tugged back down into his seat where Liam proceeded to distract him with kisses.

Niall returns shortly with a fresh pint, but Zayn gets sidetracked by Nick and Harry racing to see who can knot a cherry stem fastest to ask where he’d been.

Another ten minutes go by and Niall who’d gone a bit quiet excuses himself to the loo. Zayn thinks about following him, see if they can sneak a quick one without their mates noticing they’re gone but thinks better of it.

It’s only been a few minutes but Zayn’s getting antsy and thinks about suggesting they send a search party after the blonde when the Dj for the night calls Niall’s name and seconds later Niall is dragging a barstool to the center of the stag, an old beat up acoustic Zayn’s never seen before strung around his neck.

He clears his throat, looking down at where his fingers rest on the strings rather then the audience as he speaks softly into the microphone so unlike himself.

“Evenin’ mind if I play a little diddy for a special lad? It’s nothing extraordinary—just another acoustic cover of a song that didn’t really need covering, but it’s his favorite tune so I thought I’d give it a whirl.”

Zayn swallows hard because Niall’s got a lovely voice, he’s always singing around the house and in the car and humming while he eats, music is a huge part of his life but he’s always been a bit reserved with his talents doesn’t just pull them out for anyone, because he never thought he was good enough—certainly wouldn’t normally have the guts to get up on stage a sing for so many people.

“Feel free to sing along if ya know it.”

He whispers at last before his fingers get to work dancing across the fret as he plays.

“I can see it in your eyes, you’re angry. Regret got shit on what yer feelin’ now…” Zayn couldn’t help the gasp that falls from his lips as Niall sings an acoustic version of Drake’s Shot for me, it was not only one of his favorite songs but it also held a bit of meaning for them having been the song playing in the background the first time they made love.

“Mad cause he ain’t like Me. Oh you mad, cause nobody ever did it like me.”

Harry watched as Zayn all but swooned, being serenaded by his boyfriend, not that Harry could blame him. Niall sounded amazing and looked even better all but eye fucking Zayn from his seat on stage.

He just couldn’t help the lick of annoyance that soon bled into anger, even though he had no right to be. He was the one who gave up on them—gave up on Zayn. Let him walk away and right into the blonde’s arms and Harry wishes he could at least hate Niall, see him as the competition and let that be the end of it but after just one night he’d admit he was maybe a little in love with the charming Irishman himself.

It was hard not to.

When the song ends and Niall bounces off the stage all smiles Harry finds himself leaving his seat headed for the DJ, not even thinking when he puts in his request and is delighted to find that Niall had been the last sign up but that there was still one remaining slot left for the night.

He takes the stage two steps at a time, pushing the stool back to take his spot front and center, grabbing up the mic he fixes the crowd with a dimpled grin.

“Hiiii, I’m Harry Styles and I’m a little drunk.” He husks into the mic, garnering a laugh from the audience.

“I don’t normally do things like this—impromptu karaoke, but they say there’s a first time for everything so here goes…gonna sing a song for a very fit lad—we’ll call ‘im Zach…Zach Majick.” Harry says with a wink in Zayn’s direction that has the older man turning red as he remembers the time the two of them tried to sneak into a club with terrible fake IDs.

His had been for a 25-year-old named Zach Majick while Harry’s had said Henry Stars. They hadn’t fooled the doorman, but Harry charmed their way in anyway and the two had ended the night smashed as they dry humped in a grimy loo stall. Their shitty aliases had become somewhat of an inside joke ever since.

The music starts and Harry’s smile melts into something serious, dark and smoldering, he stares out at the crowd through a few tresses of hair that has fallen into his face, shrouding it in shadow.

“I’ve been roaming around, always looking down at all I see. Painted faces, fill the places I can’t reach.”

Zayn isn’t exactly sure why Harry’s chosen this song, figures if this performance really was as impromptu as the curly man claims that he probably picked the first song he saw that he knew the lyrics to, but it fit him so well. His deep, slightly gravelly voice sending chills down Zayn’s spine, it’s been so long since he’s heard Harry like this, seen him in his element, center stage with all eyes on him—it’s where he belonged.

As it was Zayn couldn’t look away as Harry put on a proper show, not performance. Moving around the stage, interacting with people closest to the stage like.

Nick wolf whistles, calling out “Get it popstar!” At some point and can’t help but grin.

XXX

“So that Harry of yours is pretty sound.” Niall blurts out as they’re stripping their clothes for bed. Zayn can’t help but snort, working the buttons of his shirt.

“He’s not my Harry but yeah he’s…well, Harry.” He finishes looking for a word, any word that could describe the other man and realizing there really wasn’t one that Harry just was.

“Great voice on him too, wonder why he’s not doin’ that for a living, the way he owned the stage tonight, had all the chits and lads practically drooling—know I saw at least one girl smack her boyfriend round for making goo-goo eyes at ‘im.” Niall chuckled, tossing his clothes in the laundry bin.

“What was it you said he did with that fancy degree of his?”

“Think he’s interning at his dad’s law firm for now.”

Niall hummed, muttering something about wasted talents before heading for the bathroom in just his pants for his nightly routine.

“Speaking of Harry, the two of you seemed to get on, what exactly did you talk about?” Poking his head from the bathroom with his toothbrush still in mouth Niall shrugs.

“Not you, if yer fishin’.”

“I was not—” Zayn tried to protest but Niall fixed him with a look and the brunette finally sighed. “Alright I might’ve been fishin’ but ok then, what did you talk about all night?” Returning to the bathroom the spit and rinse Niall flicks the bathroom light off and jumps into bed beside Zayn.

“Not much actually, mostly superficial stuff like Ireland, a bit of golf, he told a ton of jokes—funny guy that Styles and music, must’ve talked each other to death about music. He loves all my favorite bands Fleetwood, Eagles, the Stones. Says he even met Bublé which had me right jealous.”

He says with a mock frown that has Zayn confused as to why he couldn’t get that way over him, why was he so chill about him and Harry reconnecting.

“He’s a top lad though, could see why you went for ‘im.”

“Yeah well that was seventeen-year-old me, my tastes have changed a bit over the years, seems I like ‘em tiny, blonde and Irish now.” He teases, tugging at Niall’s product less hair.

“Oh yeah? Zach Majick then?” Niall challenged with a raised eyebrow.

Zayn clucks his tongue “Wasn’t very subtle was our Harry?”

Niall shakes his head. “About as subtle as an elephant in a glass factory I reckon.”

“It’s just a dumb inside joke.”

“Yeah but him dedicating a song to you like that, in front of everyone—me. Wasn’t cool.” Niall says, focused on his fingers splayed out on the blanket and Zayn watches with interest as the blonde shows the first sign that he wasn’t as cool about the situation as he let on.

“I’m not encouraging him Niall, he’s just—actually I’ve no idea what he’s doing.” He answered honestly.

The blonde lets out a snort, mouth twisting down a bit for the barest of seconds. “That might be so, but he knows exactly what he’s doin’ and I’m coming keen on his plans as well.”

“In that case care to let me in?” Zayn said and he was only half joking. Niall finally looks up, meeting his eyes as he shakes his head, sends him a half smile.

“Naw, tired of talking about ‘im actually.”

“Oh well, goodnight babe.” Zayn said, reaching over to switch off the light before pulling the covers up to his chin and closing his eyes.

He’s just settling in, his muscles relaxing into the mattress when the blanket is suddenly yanked from his body and Niall is straddling his thighs, Zayn whose eyes haven’t quite adjusted to the dark can just make out his playful grin. “Said I was tired of talkin’ bout him, not tired.” He says and starts scooting down Zayn’s body, never breaking eye contact.

“Oh.” Zayn gulps, his dick already twitching in interest.

“Besides I’m never too tired for this.” Niall continues, just before engulfing Zayn in one go.

“Ohhhhhhh.”

XXX

They’re at home on a rare Saturday where they both have off from work. Zayn’s on one end of the couch secretly sketching Niall, unbeknownst to the blonde who is too busy on his laptop, most likely stalking Justin Bieber’s Instagram or summat. Zayn muses to himself as he works on getting the shading of Niall’s chin dimple just right—god he loved his chin.

Loves the curve of his mouth, the ruddiness of his cheeks, his gorgeous blue eyes and that smile, shit if smiles were food and he were on a deserted island he swears he could survive on a single smile from Niall.

Glancing up from his sketchpad he notices the furrow of Niall’s brow, the way his mouth is turned down and doesn’t like it.

“Babe, what kind of music are balloons afraid of?” He asks out of nowhere, making the blonde jump slightly.

“Huh?” Niall doesn’t even look away from his computer screen.

“Pop music!” Zayn finishes on his own.

Finally looking away from his laptop Niall raises an eyebrow. “What’re you on about?”

“Nothing, just trying to get a smile outta ya, can’t get yer eyes right when they’re all squinty and mad like.”

“I’m not mad I…wait what’re you doing over there?”

Zayn feigns innocence. “Oh nothing just sketching a bit.”

“Sketching me? Oh no you don’t…don’t waste yer paper on the likes of me.”

“And why would drawing you be a waste?”

“Because I’m…” Niall sighs. “Because I’m not him is why.” He says turning his laptop so that Zayn can see what he’s been looking at all this time.

He’s got Harry’s Facebook page open and it’s obvious he’s been browsing through his photo albums and stopped on an ancient picture of Zayn and him down in the Riach’s basement. It’s a candid of the two of them covered in popcorn from a movie night that got out of hand.

“Of course you’re not babe, you’re you and I…”

“Have been slumming it for a while.” Niall finishes, continuing his scrolling, through pictures of the two of them, one intimate pose after another until he finally shakes his head and shuts the laptop. “Shit Zee I knew you had a past, had ghosts but I didn’t know they were like this he’s—he’s basically perfect! You guys looked really good together.”

“Yeah well looks can be deceiving we didn’t have all that much in common tell the truth, sometimes I wondered how we managed not to kill each other most of the time and other times I think it was just a physical thing, that I only imagined there was more between us because I wanted there to be but in the end it was just sex. We started because of sex and when we weren’t around each other for such long periods of time, we found out the truth, that there wasn’t much else to us.”

The words hurt to say, but he’d had months to think about it, when he was recovering from the break up, trying to find himself again—find the him without Harry and had come to this very realization. That all this time he was holding on to something that wasn’t even there—he’d romanticized the two of them when really all they were, were two horned up teenagers getting it where they could.

“And he definitely wasn’t perfect if I remember. Seriously Niall I don’t even know why I’m humoring you right now, over there wallowing over nothing because you’re bloody beautiful.” He holds a hand up to hush the blonde when he goes to protest. “You are, you might be a different kind of beautiful then Harry but believe me babe you clearly don’t see yourself the way others do, the way I do. You’re always going on about all the people you see eyeing me at the shops or wherever but what you don’t see is all the people doing the same with you, I mean why do you think I’m so jealous of Ellie?”

“Zayn.” Niall huffs in annoyance, cheeks going a bit pink.

“You still don’t believe me? Here, have a look.” Zayn says, handing his sketchbook over. Niall hesitates at first but finally takes the pad, peering down to see himself and is shocked at what he finds. Zayn’s somehow done it, made him look ethereal as if he were glowing.

“You sure that’s me?” He whispers in awe, voice trembling.

Zayn nods. “That’s you darling, that’s what I see when I look at you.” There’s a long pause during which Niall discreetly wipes at his eyes before gifting Zayn with a face splitting smile.

“Well shit, reckon yer one lucky bloke then.” He says, all signs of doubt and insecurity gone, and Zayn knows this isn’t over that he’s still got his work cut out for him with convincing his boyfriend of his unique type of beauty, but for now he reaches out with his foot to nudge at the blonde’s bulge, in hopes of enticing him into a little afternoon romp on the couch.

“I am, I really fucking am.”

XXX

Zayn’s working underneath a dusty old pickup truck when he hears someone’s approach.

“Almost done uncle, just taking a bit longer then usual because of all the…”

“Not your uncle, guess again, but you only get three and the first two don’t count.” Zayn bangs his head in his haste to scramble out from under the car and winces when he comes face to face with a squatting Harry, his crotch just inches from Zayn’s face.

“Harry, what’re you doing here?”

The taller man brings an offended hand to his chest. “What not happy to see me? I’m starting to think you don’t want me a round the kinda greeting I keep getting, could give a guy a complex.”

“If only.” Zayn jokes, grabbing up a semi-clean rag to wipe his hands and forearms of grease. “So, to what do I owe the visit?” Harry shrugs.

“No reason, can’t a guy just want to drop in and say hi?”

“Perhaps a normal bloke could but you…” Zayn trails off with a grin.

“Ouch.” He winces, but Zayn can tell it’s in jest as he pretends to rub at an imaginary chest wound.

“No but really what’s up?” Zayn asks, watching Harry stand, his knees crack loudly as he does making Zayn flinch.

“Nothing much, just needed a break from all the wedding planning—Gem’s gone proper bridezilla on poor Patrick and her maid of honor, sorry sods. I snuck out the back and figured it’d be nice to see a familiar face.” Zayn gazed up at Harry, an couldn’t decide if this new view of the other man’s crotch was better or worse than when he was squatting.

“Nick and them busy?”

Harry makes a thoughtful sound, tapping at his chin. “You know I didn’t even think to check on them, needed to get away and this is the first place I thought to come.”

“I’m flattered but I’m working H, my uncle will have my head if he catches me slacking off.”

“So I see.” He says looking around the garage with distaste. “Can’t believe you’re still working here, I mean no offense to your uncle but you’re way better than this place Zee.”

“Offense taken, this place pays the bills, keeps food in my mouth. Nothing wrong with hard work, and I don’t mind a little grease under my nails.”

“True but you could be doing so much more is all. Art for example, still think you ought to go back to school, take some art classes.”

“I am already, actually.”

“Because you’re just wasting your talent and I—wait you are? Since when?”

“Enrolled last year, it’s just a few classes three times a week but it’s something, I love it and it’s all thanks to Niall.”

If Harry frowns at the mention of his boyfriend Zayn ignores it. “Oh yeah? He get you to go? What did he say that I didn’t? To get you to finally cave?”

“Nothing really, just said it in an Irish accent.” Zayn joked with a wink.

Harry lets out a dry laugh that Zayn can tell was forced and wonders how they got here, where canned laughter and awkward small talk was the best they could do.

“Don’t suppose you’ve got a lunch break coming up, maybe we could go somewhere for a bite?”

“Nope, I’m on the clock until closing time which is in another two hours.”

“How about dinner then?” He presses, moving to lean his hip against the hood of the truck.

Zayn shakes his head. “No can do, me and Niall have got a couple of steaks back at mine with our names on them.”

Falling back against the car dramatically, Harry banged his fist against the hood because he always could be a bit of a diva. “Yer killin’ me Malik, what’s a guy gotta do to get you alone?”

“Um…” Zayn trails awkwardly, fidgeting with the wrench in his hand.

“I’ve just missed you is all, I feel like there’s so much we still need to catch up on.” Harry insisted, fixing Zayn with those mesmerizing seafoam eyes that had always made it impossible for the darker man to resist.

“Don’t need to be alone for that.” Zayn chuckled nervously, because Harry was coming on a bit strong and to tell the truth he wasn’t unaffected by it.

“Oh yeah? Never knew you to like an audience…you have changed.”

“Piss off.” Zayn cursed, but it sounded weak even to his own ears.

“Zayn!” He jumps suddenly at the sound of his uncle’s booming voice, echoing off the walls of the otherwise quiet garage. “You’ve already had yer break and it isn’t six yet so get back to work.”

“Yes uncle” He says, turning back to Harry he mutters “you’d better go.” But Harry ignores him, instead he grins over to his uncle.

“Hello Mr. Hassan, do you remember me? Harry Styles.” Zayn’s uncle just stares at him blankly for a moment before he nods stiffly.

“I know who you are.”

The smile falls from Harry’s lips as he brings a hand up to rub awkwardly at his neck. “Right, well I guess I’ll see you around Zee, I’ll text you.”

“Alright, bye.”

Harry’s only been gone about five minutes when Zayn’s uncle’s voice bellows out from his office to call Zayn in for minute.

“You need something uncle?”

“Zen, enough of all that.” He says gesturing vaguely towards the old pickup he’d been working on just moments ago. “Don’t mess things up with smiley blonde.” Zayn’s shocked by this, not thinking his uncle cared enough to take notice.

“Oh you mean Niall? Uncle you know how much I love him, am in love with him. Harry and I are, well not much of anything these days tell the truth, but we’re definitely not that. He’s just an old mate promise.”

Zayn’s uncle studies him for a few beats, as though he could see inside of Zayn, read the truth to his words and finally grunts a second time and it’s as much of a dismissal as Zayn knows he’s gonna get.

XXX

Harry: Morning Zee, I’ve got a proposition for you.

Zayn: WTF harry its 11am on my dayy off GFY!

Harry: tut tut that’s not very nice of you zayn

Zayn: Sserious go 2 helk

Harry: Helk? Not sure where that is exactly, think I could use the sat nav to get there?

Zayn: ugh! I am up now alright ? what do u want???

Harry: Like I said…wanna proposition ya

Zayn: well go on then

Harry: Brunch

Zayn: No

Harry: Oh come on z come to brunch for old times sake

Zayn: over my cold dead body

Harry: But there’s still a few of the old mates that didn’t get to see you at the pub

Harry: Including Gemma, you’ve got to come tell her yourself why you won’t attend her wedding

Zayn: h I have a boyfriend y do u seem 2 keep forgetting that fact?

Harry: Haven’t forgot you can bring him if you like

Zayn: for fucks sake where and what time

Harry: You know where and ASAP!!!

Zayn opened the last conversation he’d had with Niall, smiling down at the good morning text along with 3 heart emojis and a cherry pie because his boyfriend was a special one and thought about tapping out a quick invite, knowing Niall had a lunch break coming up and that the restaurant wasn’t too far from the radio station, even if he decided not to show at least Zayn could say he’d invited him, but for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Exiting his messages altogether he slid out of bed for a wee and to get ready.

XXX

He’s dressed and out the door in about half an hour but when he arrives he realizes he’s the last one, that everyone’s been waiting on him and only feels a little bad about it.

“Zayn!” Gemma calls out to him and the smile he shoots her is genuine as he takes her in his arms. “Can you believe it?” She asks flashing him her ring—which dons a pretty impressive sized rock.

“I really can’t, doesn’t matter anyway you’ll always be Harry’s little big sister to me, soz.”

“Pish-posh!” She waves him off. “Come sit here between me and Harold won’t you?” She asks, dragging him over without waiting for a response.

He takes his seat, nodding to familiar faces he hasn’t seen in ages, freezing when his eyes catch on a frowning Liam sat directly across from him, Ed beside him chatting away with another of their mates Daisy.

“Zayn, surprised to see you here.” Liam says raising a pointed eyebrow.

“Why’s that he was invited wasn’t he?” Harry asks defensively before Zayn can even open his mouth to retort.

Liam shrugs. “Just didn’t think brunch was his thing, didn’t think there was much that could get him out of bed before noon to be honest.”

“Hmm, just goes to show how well you really know him then!” He sniffs, curling his lip.

“Harry.” Zayn says in warning because he doesn’t want any trouble between his mates, knows Liam means well. “To answer your question Liam, I was indeed invited and it’s such a rare case that I can catch up with Gems that I was willing to sacrifice an hour of my precious beauty sleep, it’s the least I can do really since I won’t be attending her wedding.”

“Aww, why not?” She asked, giving him an impressive set of puppy eyes that must’ve gotten her anything she ever desired in life—a genetic trait no doubt.

Ignoring Harry’s frown he shrugged one shoulder. “Just don’t think it’d be appropriate.”

Something flashes in her eyes and she spares a quick glance at her sullen little brother before nodding. “I understand.”

Pressing his lips together he gives her a nod, reaching for the menu in front of him as something to do but before he could even open it, the glossy pages were yanked from his grip.

“No need to bother, I’ve already gone and ordered for you. It’s still the usual right babe?”

“Uh yeah, can’t believe you remembered.” Zayn said pleasantly surprised, avoiding the raised eyebrows he just knows Liam is shooting him at the ’babe’.

“I remember a lot of things…” Harry admits to the table, his cheeks an uncharacteristic shade of pink, “everything.” He adds softly.

Zayn doesn’t know how to react to that, so instead he ignores it. Busies himself with catching up with Daisy, Ben and the rest of Harry’s bunch that he hasn’t seen in an age—it’s a regular reunion, and it must be a testament to how much he’s grown that this lot doesn’t annoy him half as much as they used to, and against his better judgement he finds himself laughing and having a great time.

Even Liam’s quit frowning at nearly every move Harry makes. Like if they sit even a little too close, or if he touches Zayn and his hand lingers a bit. Noticeably gritting his teeth every time the younger lad called Zayn by a pet name.

Admittedly Zayn knew he shouldn’t be encouraging this behavior, he’s made it more than clear that he is unavailable, but they were still mates and so what if they had a past, he knew Harry was harmless for the most part if a little misguided if he thought he could coax him away from Niall. Because he couldn’t. No matter what kind of feelings resurfaced at seeing Harry again he knew Niall was it for him, that he was in this for the long haul.

He just couldn’t understand how Liam didn’t see that, didn’t know that his heart was with the Irishman.

The meal is almost at an end when out of nowhere Nick decides to bring up the night they all met.

“Was at me beach bonfire wasn’t it?” He mused, swirling the remainder of his latest mimosa.

“Which one?” Someone says to which Nick sticks his tongue out.

“Don’t even know how you got invited tell the truth, didn’t exactly run in the same crowds did we? But it’s all thanks to me innit? For you two even meeting.”

“And we all know how that turns out, think you ought ta keep yer day job Grimmy.” Daisy says, raising her glass in his direction to soften the blow.

Nick waves his hand around unbothered by the details. “Fair enough, but sure was beautiful while it lasted, shame you two crazy kids couldn’t make it work.”

“Yeah well, never say never eh Zen?” Harry jokes, hooking an arm around Zayn’s neck to tug him in, landing a loud smacking kiss on his cheek. Zayn can’t help but freeze because it’s clear Harry’s three mimosas have caught up with him.

Instead of correcting him however, he excuses himself to the loo. Feeling eyes following him as he goes.

He’s just washing his hands when Liam slips through the door, pressing his back against it so that no one else can enter and crosses his arms, fixing Zayn with a look.

Zayn rolls his eyes, “Li, it’s nothing ok?”

“Oh yeah? Would you have let him do that if Niall had been there?”

“Well no, it’d be awkward wouldn’t it?”

“Exactly! That’s how you know you’ve done something you shouldn’t have. Rule of thumb if you can’t do it with yer boyfriend watching then you shouldn’t do it.”

Narrowing his eyes Zayn steps forward. “I hope you’re not implying that I wanted him to kiss me, that I would ever cheat on Niall or anyone for that matter. Because I would never, not after being on the receiving end of it. Could never put someone through that kind of pain, especially not Niall. I love him Li—he’s it for me! When I picture my future, no matter how many years out he’s there, he’s in all of my future plans.”

“Zayn…” Liam chokes out, eyes wide.

Zayn holds his hands up in front of him. “Whoa, whoa slow down there I didn’t just like imply that I’m going out to buy him a ring or anything, not quite there yet but I’ve thought about it. So believe me when I say that there’s nothing left between me and Harry, nothing but history, a bunch of memories that led me to who I am now, led me to the Niall who just happens to be the love of my life. Everything else is just the past.”

Liam at least has the decency to look ashamed. “Shit Zee, I’m sorry for even thinking that you’d do something like that, but it’s Niall you know?” He tried to explain with a shrug. And the thing is, Zayn got it. He loved Niall too after all and there was just something about the blonde that made people extra protective over him.

When they return to the table it’s to the curious looks of Harry, asking with his eyes if everything is alright. Zayn gives him a reassuring smile but takes the seat next to Liam instead of his original seat, teasing Ed about his latest tattoo.

XXX

They’re in the middle of watching Stepbrothers and Zayn’s phone keeps going off, the incessant buzz not lost to Niall but he does his best to ignore it, pretends not to see the way Zayn will read the message, smiling down at his phone before tapping out a quick reply. This goes on for a couple more minutes when Zayn finally out right laughs, tearing the blonde’s attention from the telly.

“What’sit?”

 “Just Haz and his dumb puns.” Zayn shakes his head, chuckling.

Niall noticeably stiffens. “You’re texting Harry? Now?”

“Technically he texted me, but I did respond a few times, but that’s done now, told him I’m busy.” He admits and even turns his phone so that Niall can see that he indeed let Harry know they were watching a movie.

He’s not quick enough in moving his phone away before Harry’s response comes through.

Harry: But you hate Will Ferrell

Sucking his teeth Zayn is quick to explain. “Babe, that’s not true. I mean I used to think he was a bit of a twat but now…”

“…you still can’t stand him.” Niall finishes with a knowing grin. “It’s not that important I can always watch this later. I’ve already seen it tons, wanna catch up on The Voice UK instead?”

Zayn hesitates. “You really don’t mind?”

The blonde scoffs. “Why would I want you to watch a movie you’re not going to enjoy?” He asks, as if the very thought were preposterous.

“You’re literally the best person ever and I love you.”

“Love you too ya numpty.” Niall mutters, grabbing up the clicker to start one of the episodes they have recorded on their DVR, but when Zayn sneaks a peek he’s pleased to find a fond smile on his lips.

XXX

It’s the night before Gemma’s wedding, Zayn’s just clocking out from work when as if sensing this Harry texts him an address with no further explanation. Zayn stares down at the familiar address and contemplates ignoring it, it wouldn’t be the first outrageous text that Harry sent him, probably wouldn’t be the last either but curiosity like always gets the best of him and he ends up plugging the address into the satnav of his car.

Half an hour later he finds himself rolling to stop in the car park of their old college. He hasn’t been by in years, hasn’t even thought about this place since graduating. Climbing out his car, he checks to make sure it’s all locked up before shooting Harry a message.

Zayn: Where the heck are u

Harry:  Footy pitch

Headed for the football field, Zayn notices the chill in the air and is grateful he thought to grab his hoodie from the backseat. Harry’s there true to his word and grins widely when he catches sight of him.

“Zen! You made it.”

“I did, now what is all this, why’re we here?”

“Come’re first, want a hug.”

“Is that why you texted, so we can hug here in the bleachers?” Zayn joked taking the stairs two at a time until he reaches where Harry is sat. He allows the taller man to tug him into a tight embrace, but pulls away when he seems to hold on for too long. “You alright?”

“Hmm, better now.” He says but doesn’t join Zayn when he sits. Instead he moves out onto the pitch kicking at the turf with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his Saint Laurent trench coat.

“Look how outside we are Zen, the night’s a gorgeous one innit?”

“Haz…”

“I’ve just come from the rehearsal party if that’s what you’re wonderin’.” Harry confesses his words coming out even slower then usual and that’s when Zayn notices the half empty bottle of champagne under his seat and gasps.

“Harry are you dru—have you been drinking? And you drove here are you mad?” Harry waves him off.

“S’fine.” He slurs. “I just needed a little, just to get me through…she’s my sister Zayn, my little big sister is getting married  and it really clicked tonight, made me think of a time when I pictured myself being married around this time and when I thought about it I was married to you, could’ve been if I hadn’t been so stupid, was just a dumb kid wasn’t I?”

“I don’t know H, we’re still so young. I don’t think I’d want to be married just yet anyhow.”

“S’not the point…Hey you remember this place?” The subject change is not lost on Zayn but he allows it, nodding slowly as if in thought.

“All too well, but I reckon my memories are quite different from yours. You used to rule this school if I remember.” Harry waves his words away for a second time.

“That’s stupid, just stupid. You were easily the prettiest boy or girl for that matter in the entire school how could I have not noticed you? How was I so blind?”

“I mean I barely went to class Haz, besides I’m no better, hadn’t noticed you either. Just the basics—it was more the idea of you rich, popular ladies man with dimples and curls that drove the girls mad.”

“Some boys too!” He whined, sounding offended that Zayn would dare leave them out, reaching up to pet said curls.

“That’s right can’t forget them, can we?” Harry gave one firm nod.

“We wasted so much time Z, imagine if we hadn’t just met at Grimmy’s party, that we actually knew each other all along?” He says, eyes glazing over a bit as he gets lost in thought.

“I’d be on the footie team, left midfielder of course and you’d still be the genius slacker whose tardy more times than not, but still manages to ace all your classes. We’d sneak here to make out beneath the bleachers in between lectures. Trading handjobs before footie practice. My mate Xander, you know ‘im he’s also on the team, thinks we’re adorable, he knows what we get up to under here and covers for me with coach when I’m a few minutes late so I don’t end up doing suicides, because it’s so fucking hard to walk away from you, keep stealing one last kiss that turns to two that turns to…well you get the point. None of my mates get it what I’m doing with you but I just laugh and say just look at him.”

“That’s all sweet and whatnot but you’ve still left out the most important part. How do we meet, how does the slacker and the star athlete cross paths.”

“Why in detention of course, like in that film about the kids and pancakes I think. They do detention in the library and maybe eat…pancakes?”

“Do you mean Breakfast club?” Harry snaps his fingers.

“Yeah that’s it breakfast club, we meet in detention just like in the film. You see everyone expects me to be Mr. Perfect but I’ve got a wild side too you know and one day I get caught.”

“Get caught doing what?”

“Smoking in the loo with Grimmy, only they didn’t see him and I’m no snitch, so I take the fall and get detention and you well, you’re a regular on account of all the slagging off you do.”

“It’s just the two of us, the teacher’s gone off somewhere told us to stay in our seats and I don’t know what I’m meant to do, never been in trouble a day in my life, my dad’s literally going to kill me when he finds out and I’m brickin’ it. It’s all I can think of and I’m jiggling my knee, at first, it’s subtle but eventually it’s so bad that my movement’s rattling the entire desk until finally you reach over and without a word you place a hand on my knee to still it.”

“I’m startled, not expecting you to touch me and I go to tell you off because how very dare you but then our eyes meet and it’s like every bloody cliché in the book. Proverbial fireworks go off and my leg is on fire where your touching me and I may have never noticed you before, but I’ll never be able to forget the shade of brown of your eyes. Or the way you curl your tongue behind your teeth when you smile…god you’re beautiful.”

Zayn’s heard enough.

“Fuck Harry would you just stop? Just stop. Everything you said it’s all nice and pretty and bullshit! Bottom line that’s not how our story went. We didn’t meet in college, we weren’t the nerd and the footie star we were just us. You, a boy who was way out of my league but I somehow managed to catch yer eye briefly anyway. But the truth is what we had while amazing wasn’t much beyond young, careless and fun while it lasted. We just fooled ourselves into thinking it was more then it was but looking beck that’s all it was under the surface, sex.”

“Oh yeah, if that’s all it is, if there’s really nothing left here then kiss me, kiss me and prove that I’m just imagining things.” Zayn grabbed at the sides of his head because Harry wasn’t getting it, sharing a kiss wouldn’t prove anything, just solidify Zayn’s own theory that their relationship was little more than physical

“I don’t have to prove anything. I’m with Niall Harry, I love him.” Zayn said, jutting his chin out with confidence.

“That so, then what’re you even doing here? Why’re you out here with me on a Friday night and not with yer precious Niall?” Harry spat and it seemed we’d reached the ugly half of drunk!Harry.

His confidence shatters, “Did you say Friday? As in the 11^th?”

“Um, yeah? I mean I’m pretty sure…”

Zayn curses under his breath. “Shit, I’ve gotta go…I can’t believe I forgot what day it is!”

“What day’s that?”

“Nevermind, I’ve got somewhere I need to be, but first I’ve got to get you home.”

“Zayn I…” Harry starts, then cuts himself off looking defeated.

Zayn takes pity.

“I know H, and I’m sorry too.”

The taller man nods. “If things were different?”

“Maybe, who knows. They’re not though, you have to let this, this idea of us go…you have to let me go.”

Harry lets out a bitter laugh. “Easier said than done.”

“You did it once easy enough.”

“Low blow babe. Been holding that one in for a while have you?” Zayn says nothing, just makes sure Harry is fastened in before starting the car.

XXX

Zayn drops Harry off at his mum’s and rushes back to his apartment after a quick run into Niall’s favorite Greek restaurant for takeout. When he arrives its to find cold dinner on the table untouched, two candles all but melted in the center while Niall’s sat on the couch watching the tail end of a football game, a bottle of beer raised to his lips.

The blonde doesn’t even spare him a glance just sets his bottle down on the coffee table, eyes trained on the telly. Zayn’s shoulders sag realizing he’s got his work cut out for him.

“Ni, I am so sorry babe, I can’t believe I forgot what day it was.” There’s a pregnant pause during which Zayn doesn’t think Niall’s even heard him but finally blue eyes turn to him, albeit emotionless.

“Oh yeah and what day’s that?”

Zayn flinches at the coldness in Niall’s tone. “Our anniversary of course…three wonderful years today.” Niall snorts and moves to turn back to the tv, but Zayn speaks quickly, desperate to hold his attention.

“I’m such a tit, I know it, but I got us food from that Greek place you love, and I know it in no way makes up for the time we’ve lost, the beautiful meal you’ve let go to waste because of me but...”

“Do I even want to know where ya were?” He cautions, and Zayn knows the answer is written all over his face.

“It’s not important, promise.” Zayn chews his lips, watching Niall work it all out in his head before he finally sighs, standing from the couch to make his way over to the table, eyeing the take away bags wolfishly.

“If you think you can win me over with food and those damn eyelashes of yers, you’d be dead right but only because I fucking love you Zee.” Zayn feels like he can finally breathe again.

“God, do I love you, so much. I don’t know what I was thinking, letting Harry get in my head but it’s never happening again.”

“Good, now give us a kiss.” Niall teases, making a pleased sound in the back of his throat when Zayn does just that.

Pulling away, there’s barely a breath of space between then when Zayn whispers “Move in with me.”

Niall’s eyebrows screw up in confusion. “Really but I thought you…”

“I was stupid, haven’t we already established this fact? I’m an idiot, I don’t sleep right without you beside me and my mornings are complete shit when you’re not there first thing when I wake up.”

“Your mornings are always shit, you don’t do mornings.” Niall reminded, earning himself a playful swat.

“Well they’re slightly better after many kisses.”

Niall feigns shock. “Is that right? All this time and that’s been the secret?”

Zayn nods. “Mmhm.”

“You’re such a twat, don’t know what I see in ya, but yes of course I’ll move in with you, I’m here all the time, practically moved in already or haven’t you noticed?”

“Thank you, babe really I…” He’s cut off by Niall’s lips, the blonde pressing him back against the table’s edge.

“Mm, know exactly how ya can thank me, all proper like.” At this Zayn raises an amused eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, want me to uh, suck ya off?”

 “Mm.” Niall hums, tilting his head in interest.

“Oh, and maybe I can ride ya after?”

“Mm.” Niall hums again, as the other man falls gently to his knees.

Zayn rolls his eyes grinning.

“And feed you while I do?”

The blonde grins, bringing a hand up to gently cup the side of Zayn’s face.

“See now yer talkin’.”

Because if I was gonna go somewhere

I’d be there by now