Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

jungjung has added kungpaochickending, notfanbingbingsbrother, notabananabanana, SugarBaby, yoyopres, hamster and Haohao to the chat

jungjung has named the group chat Top of the Food Chain

jungjung: welcome children

kungpaochickending: do you think he ate something weird?

notfanbingbingsbrother: why ge

Haohao: I feel like an outsider

jungjung: can my children just be grateful for once

yoyopres: i’m literally a year younger than you

jungjung: I DON’T CARE I AM YOUR MOTHER

hamster: justin and xinchun been kinda quiet should we be scared

jungjung: no let them move at their own pace :)

SugarBaby: it’s 3am some people are trying to sleep also you aren’t even supposed to have your phones

jungjung: but here we are

SugarBaby: where’s xinchun

yoyopres: what do you think you’re literally in the same dorm as him

SugarBaby: he could be pretending to be asleep

notfanbingbingsbrother: Xinchun wants me to tell y’all to shut up

Haohao: why do you all have ur phones

notfanbingbingsbrother: u have ur phone 2

Haohao: touché

jungjung: Chengcheng what is that username

notfanbingbingsbrother: no idea what ur talking abt

SugarBaby has renamed notfanbingbingsbrother

notfanbingbingsbrother is now whostolemyvegetables

whostolemyvegetables: justin wtf

SugarBaby: ;)

SugarBaby has added FuwaFenFen, FuwaBoBo, FuwaYaoYao, FuwaMoMo, FuwaYeYe, YourLei-zi, Uncle, eggs, TheMagician, brightwhiteteeth, itsGE, imarapper and abandoned to Top of the Food Chain

jungjung: JUSTIN STOP WHAT THE HELL

FuwaBoBo: It’s so nice to know how welcome we are here

jungjung: no no i didn’t mean

jungjung: JUSTIN I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR SORRY ASS RIGHT NOW

SugarBaby: hahasdfcghbjnmk,l;.

kungpaochickending: here lies our fallen comrade rip

hamster: zhengting ge broke justin

SugarBaby has renamed jungjung

jungjung is now violentfairy

yoyopres: fair

violentfairy: you’re supposed to be on my side!

YourLei-zi: YO WASSUP EVERYBODY

abandoned: thank u justin ever since i was eliminated they forgot about me

TheMagician: for the last time yankai

TheMagician: WE DID NOT FORGET ABOUT YOU STOP THE PITY PARTY

SugarBaby: yeah they’ve replaced you with jeffrey and yanlei

abandoned: wahhhhh </3

abandoned has left Top of the Food Chain

brightwhiteteeth: Good riddance

imarapper: seconded

TheMagician: have some love

notabananabanana: EVERYBODY SHUT UP ITS 3 AM IM TRYING TO SLEEP

whostolemyvegetables: oh u shut up u just want dinghao to think ur cool or organised or whatever

SugarBaby has added sunshineboy to Top of the Food Chain

sunshineboy: wat

notabananabanana: ITS NOT TRUE

SugarBaby: someone was sleep talking last night

notabananabanana: I HATE YOU HUANG MINGHAO

violentfairy: children please my stress levels are skyrocketing because of you lot

notabananabanana has left Top of the Food Chain

violentfairy: YOU NOOB

violentfairy has added notabananabanana to Top of the Food Chain

violentfairy: you aren’t escaping anytime soon also where is my favourite son

hamster: i thought i was ur fave i guess not

Haohao: quanzhe don’t be mad that I stole Zhengting AND became the favourite son

SugarBaby: OH MY GOD GET FUCKING REKT QUANZHE

whostolemyvegetables: hello, 110, i just witnessed a mURDER

violentfairy: quanzhe

hamster has left Top of the Food Chain

violentfairy: why are my children so dramatic

violentfairy has added hamster to Top of the Food Chain

hamster: I hate you so much right now Zhengting

hamster has added yanjunnie, spinnysuperman, nofoodnolife, MomsSpaghetti, BOOGIEWangZiyi, SuperNongNong, kunkun, Yuntian and Yunyi to Top of the Food Chain

violentfairy: I came out here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

BOOGIEWangZiyi: What’s up bros

kungpaochickending: sdfghjkl;

yoyopres: he’s fallen asleep cuz its 3AM

kunkun: people need sleep

brightwhiteteeth: …

TheMagician: I SWEAR TO GOD ZHOU FUCKING YANCHEN IF YOU DON’T GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW

whostolemyvegetables: and here i thought zhengting ge was scary

SugarBaby has renamed TheMagician

TheMagician is now Huba♡

sunshineboy: hahahaha HUBA

FuwaFenFen: young people these days

SugarBaby has renamed FuwaFenFen

FuwaFenFen is now Grandpa

Grandpa: what

Grandpa: HUANG MINGHAO YOU BRAT RESPECT YOUR ELDERS

Grandpa: wait

Grandpa: how do i rename myself

FuwaMoMo: LMAO

FuwaYeYe: keep him this way

Grandpa: jeffrey?

eggs: sorry

Grandpa: betrayed by my own daughter

YourLei-zi: hahahahahahahaha

Grandpa: Mubo back me up

FuwaBoBo: XD

imarapper: who taught him that

FuwaYaoYao: not me

FuwaYeYe: Jing Peiyao you idiot

FuwaYeYe has renamed FuwaYaoYao

FuwaYaoYao is now unwanted

unwanted: low blow

FuwaYeYe: :)

unwanted: this is bc mubo and qin fen keep spoiling you!!! u get to do whatever you like

FuwaYeYe: it’s not my fault im so loveable <3

eggs: im scared

hamster: ??? jeffrey u so random

brightwhiteteeth: pls stop talking my notifs are blowing up im trying to practice

itsGE: 2nded stfu

imarapper: u said u were going to the bathroom not practicing

Huba♡: I SWEAR TO GOD ALL OF YOU GO TO BED OR WE WILL DISCOVER HOW EASILY I CAN HIDE 59 BODIES

Chapter Text

yanjunnie: What the fuck happened at 3am

violentfairy: I can explain...

nofoodnolife: why do u not know any of us

SuperNongNong: i think its nice

spinnysuperman: thats u

yanjunnie: i think some people are missing

yanjunnie has added fromthemountains, littleprince, Shakespeare, BFG, Villageboy, Potato, Mark, slyfox, binbin, 100%machoman, mralmostthere and stopthediscrimination2k18 to Top of the Food Chain

yanjunnie: welcome my friends

Potato: hello

yanjunnie: wait

yanjunnie has renamed Yuntian

Yuntian is now Thing1

yanjunnie has renamed Yunyi

Yunyi is now Thing2

Thing1: Wow thx

Thing1 has renamed yanjunnie

yanjunnie is now olaf

olaf: what the actual fuck

olaf: ohh i get it

mralmostthere: i hate u all so much

unwanted: blame zhengting

violentfairy: hey!

violentfairy: u may not be my child but

unwanted: im literally older than you

Grandpa: permission given

unwanted: hey

whostolemyvegetables: get rekt

slyfox: no

whostolemyvegetables: ur no fun xikan

whostolemyvegetables has renamed slyfox

slyfox is now ladykiller

ladykiller: …

ladykiller: I swear to fucking god Chengcheng

stopthediscrimination2k18: serves u right

Thing2: dont u like the nickname the Citizen Producers gave u

ladykiller: shut up Thing2

 nofoodnolife: rofl

violentfairy: no

Shakespeare: can u all just shut up

fromthemountains: if u dont stfu im gonna let loose

violentfairy: no

whostolemyvegetables: no

ladykiller: no

kungpaochickending: no

brightwhiteteeth: no

Grandpa: no

Potato: please no

hamster: no

fromthemountains: …

violentfairy: YANG FEITONG STOP SCARING THEM 

Huba♡: YANG FEITONG IM GONNA CHUCK YOUR ASS BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS

hamster: xinchun is crying in fear

hamster: so is Haohao

violentfairy: my bby!

violentfairy: you better stop scaring my child

Villageboy: haohao doesn’t need protecting hes got parents

kunkun: me and Ziyi

Haohao: ye

violentfairy: MY CHILD

Haohao is now myauntistryingtoabuctme:(

BOOGIEWangZiyi: lolololol

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: you’re a terrible parent

BOOGIEWangZiyi: my heart

kunkun: its okay daddys here

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: …

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: ur weird

violentfairy: xukun that sounds sort of creepy

SugarBaby: i can call u daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

violentfairy: HUANG MINGHAO!

SugarBaby has renamed kunkun

kunkun is now JustinsDaddy

JustinsDaddy: ffs

notabananabanana: zhengting ge is currently screaming into his phone i can hear it from our practice room

sunshineboy: dont try to run frm me huang xinchun

notabananabanana: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

sunshineboy: ACCIDENT MY ASS

eggs: im dying this is hilarious

violentfairy: what did i do to deserve this

BFG: ayyyyye PAPILLON!!!!

brightwhiteteeth: ok

BOOGIEWangZiyi: stop bu fan ya weirdo also kunkun why u cheating

JustinsDaddy: wat

BOOGIEWangZiyi: we coparent Haohao and now ur coparenting justin w/ zhengting

JustinsDaddy: …

BOOGIEWangZiyi: ur tearing this family apart

violentfairy: isnt that my line

JustinsDaddy: dont say that i can convince u tonight

SugarBaby: tmi daddy

BOOGIEWangZiyi has left Top of the Food Chain

JustinsDaddy: my husband

JustinsDaddy has added BOOGIEWangZiyi to Top of the Food Chain

violentfairy: ur stealing my child

SugarBaby: uh no im kunkun and ziyis child

violentfairy: what has this come to

kungpaochickending: LI QUANZHE

hamster: IM SORRY ZEREN

kungpaochickending: SORRY DOESNT COMPENSATE

violentfairy: wtf

hamster: ZHENGTING DONT GO INTO OUR DORM

spinnysuperman: too late he’s sprinting

hamster: well shit

kungpaochickending: Aasdfghkjl;kjhfdgsadghjkl;

hamster: IM SORRY OKAY

hamster: ZHENGTING DON’T KILL ME PLS

kungpaochickending: LI QUANZHERTYUIOPPPPP{}||||\]

yoyopres: i’ve never seen zeren so agitated before

notabananabanana: how can u be so calm LU DINGHAO STOP!!!! I SAID IM SORRY!!!

hamster: SAVE ME ZHENGTING

violentfairy: WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!??!!

kungpaochickending: LI QUANZHE IF YOU TELL HIM YOU WILL BE SORRY

hamster: I’m honestly more afraid of Zhengting on the verge of busting the door down than you yelling at me about your love life

yoyopres: what

SuperNongNong: what

Thing1: what

Thing2: what

JustinsDaddy: what

BOOGIEWangZiyi: what

brightwhiteteeth: what

SugarBaby: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) get some zeren

kungpaochickending: justin i stg and quanzhe you better prepare yourself

SugarBaby: kinky

violentfairy: LI QUANZHE YOU MAY BE MY SECOND FAVOURITE CHILD BUT I WILL MURDER YOU HOW COULD YOU I CANT BELIEVE THIS WTF WTF WTF NOwaesrdtyfugihjopk[l;[lkjbhvgfdsrdfyghjk;l’lknbvcfghjkl;kjhgfy

hamster: im sorry

SugarBaby has renamed hamster

hamster is now guiltyhamster

guiltyhamster: Sorry ge

violentfairy: …

yoyopres: WHAT IS THIS I CAN’T EVEN WHAT NOOO

violentfairy: LI QUANZHE I WILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER I NEED TO TREAT WENJUN HES NEVER BEEN LIKE THIS BEFORE

yoyopres: MY EYES

Mark: whats going on at the dorm

guiltyhamster: SHUHAO DON’T COME INTO THE DORM

violentfairy: … too late

kungpaochickending: LI QUANZHE I WILL FEED YOU ALIVE TO CROCODILES

Mark: I have never seen zeren crying what have you done

Mark: KILL ME NOW WTF QUANZHE

guiltyhamster: im sorry everyone

kungpaochickending: HES LAUGHING THIS BRAT IS OVER HIS HEAD

whostolemyvegetables: im interested

kungpaochickending: NO!!!!!!!!!

whostolemyvegetables: NOOOOOOOOOOO QUANZHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

nofoodnolife: i can hear chengcheng screaming from here

nofoodnolife: his vocals pretty good

nofoodnolife: hitting that high note

whostolemyvegetables: YOU ZHANGJING!

notabananabanana: NO KILL ME PLEASE LU DINGHAO I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO KILL ME

sunshineboy: whats this terrible

sunshineboy: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

imarapper: ahhh i can hear everybody’s screams what a beautiful melody

Mark: Zhengting, Chengcheng, Wenjun, Dinghao and I are all screaming, Quanzhe is laughing, Zeren is crying there is a letter on the floor and I want to gouge out my eyes

SugarBaby: oooh im interested

Mark: JUstin nOO

violentfairy: much as i hate u i dont want u to suffer

sunshineboy: protect ur remaining innocence

guiltyhamster: im really sorry

violentfairy: HE’S LAUGHING THIS BRAT

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: oooooooooooooo

violentfairy: ZHENGHAO NO!!!

BOOGIEWangZiyi: NO MY SON

JustinsDaddy: NOOO I FORBID YOU TO GO HOLD ON I’LL BE THERE SOON

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: i was joking do you think i’d really adsfchgvjbknlm;;

JustinsDaddy: protecting my son at all costs

brightwhiteteeth: I want to know what’s happening I’ll be there soon

kungpaochickending: ZHOU YANCHEN IF YOU ENTER THIS ROOM I WILL JUMP OUT THE WINDOW PLEASE NO

violentfairy: Yanchen nooooo

yoyopres: MY EYES MY EYES

guiltyhamster: YANCHEN GET OVER HERE ASAP YOU NEED TO SEE THIS

kungpaochickending: DON’T YOU DARE

violentfairy: YANCHEN IF YOU WANT TO LIVE AN UNSCARRED LIFE DO NOT COME OVER

brightwhiteteeth: it cant be that bad besides im nearly here i can hear you screaming

brightwhiteteeth: im behind you

brightwhiteteeth:

brightwhiteteeth: FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK WHAT THE HELL LI QUANZHE EXPLAIN THIS  

kungpaochickending: it was a good life

olaf: get me some more popcorn

olaf: STOP XINCHUN I DONT WANT TO SEE

SugarBaby: NOOOOOOOO AND I WAS HAVING A GOOD LIFE

olaf: NO NO NO NO NO LI QUANZHE YOU DICKHEAD

notabananabanana: WE ALL SUFFER TOGETHER ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

binbin: this is how ur high notes should sound Haohao

Chapter Text

olaf: xinchun stop its nice to see them suffering but I sure as hell don’t want to

notabananabanana: you dug yourself in this hole

kungpaochickending: I’m crying why did you do this quanzhe

SuperNongNong: what the hell is going on in zeren’s dorm I can see you from down the hall

violentfairy: NONGNONG NO SAVE YOURSELF DON’T COME IN HERE

SuperNongNong: too late I’m behind you aND OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOOOOOOO

binbin: and this is the story of how idol producer died

nofoodnolife: ^

100%machoman: i’m kinda interested ^^

BFG: do you see how they are suffering?

BOOGIEWangZiyi: It’s mildly amusing to watch and hear them scream

Potato: zeren and yanchen aren’t coming back to practice :(

brightwhiteteeth: we’re fighting a war bangbang we won’t be home anytime soon

violentfairy: Wang Ziyi

BOOGIEWangZiyi: asdfghjk

violentfairy: serves u right

BOOGIEWangZiyi: since u aren’t listening to me in real life LET ME GO

JustinsDaddy: I’m coming to save you!!!

BOOGIEWangZiyi: No! I’m making this sacrifice for the both of us. Take care of our son!

fromthemountains: what.

JustinsDaddy: I LOVE YOU ZIYI!

BOOGIEWangZiyi: I LOVE YOU TOO!

eggs: cute.

BFG: i think we should leave.

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: my parents are disgusting

FuwaYeYe: mine too did u hear them last night

FuwaMoMo: I think they’re going at it right now the screams are covering them

SugarBaby: as badly as I want to be going at it unfortunately we’re not and this a goddamn battlefield

Grandpa: oh shut up you’re just jealous you’re missing out on all the action

SuperNongNong: trust me you want to be missing out on this hell I can feel my eyes burning

FuwaYeYe: tmi grandpa

unwanted: no one wants to know about ur sex life grandpa

olaf: you speak as if he had one

Grandpa: …

Grandpa: JING PEIYAO TEACH ME HOW TO CHANGE MY USERNAME PLS

unwanted: nah

unwanted has renamed Grandpa

Grandpa is now GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: …

unwanted: and while I’m at it

unwanted has renamed FuwaYeYe

FuwaYeYe is now ForeverAlone

unwanted has renamed FuwaMoMo

FuwaMoMo is now LoveNoLife

unwanted has renamed FuwaBoBo

FuwaBoBo is now BobbingBoBo

ForeverAlone: …

LoveNoLife: …

BobbingBoBo: …

olaf: I want to laugh but I’m still screaming quanzhe has a death wish

guiltyhamster: I’M SORRY OKAY

mralmostthere: why are you like this li quanzhe

guiltyhamster: you don’t even know wat’s going on

mralmostthere: all i know is that there’s a choir of screams that i can hear loudly from the practice rooms

BobbingBoBo: seriously everybody stop screaming the staff are freaking out

yoyopres: YOU THINK WE CAN STOP?!?!?!

nofoodnolife: rip Bi Wenjun 1997-2018

binbin: This is what a good vocal exercise looks like Haohao

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: yeah nah no thanks

kungpaochickending: LI QUANZHE GO TO HELL ITS HARD TO TYPE THROUGH THE TEARS

itsGE: i’m really interested

BOOGIEWangZiyi: bro have u heard the screams

itsGE: its hard not to

Thing2: I’m trying to practice but all I hear are the sounds of people suffering

Shakespeare: wenjun you’re gonna waste your vocals; you too, Shuhao

Mark: YOU THINK WE CAN STOP?

olaf: can’t stop me now, can’t stop me now

SugarBaby: IS THIS THE TIME FOR JOKES???????????????????

SugarBaby has renamed olaf

olaf is now Asshole

Asshole: you’re like ten years old

SugarBaby: bITCH FIGHT ME

fromthemountains: what even is making you scream

sunshineboy: you don’t want to know trust me MY EYES MY EYES LI QUANZHE

guiltyhamster: THAT HURTS STOP PLS STOP OUCH OUCH

whostolemyvegetables: GOOD YOU DESERVE IT FOR MAKING US ALL SUFFER

Asshole: I’m sorry, but I have to do this

Asshole has added MCJin to Top of the Food Chain

whostolemyvegetables: LIN FUCKING YANJUN YOU DICK

MCJin: Wassup peeps?

Asshole: Save them pls they won’t stop screaming

MCJin: ya i can see that

Asshole: please save us

MCJin: sure sure

Asshole: thank u

kungpaochickending: Yanjun how could you make MC Jin suffer with us as well

ForeverAlone: what have u done to our mentor

MCJin: wHAT THE HELL IS THIS

violentfairy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

guiltyhamster: save them my ears can’t take it anymore

MCJin: i see that zeren stop crying stop screaming everyone else

SugarBaby: THANK YOU MCJIN YOUR SACRIFICE WILL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED

MCJin has left Top of the Food Chain

↷ ↷ ↷

[We don’t get paid enough for this shit]

MCJin: [ Sent a picture ]

ChengXiao: NOOOOOOOO WHAT IS THIS

Pinky: NO I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS WHYYYYYY NOOOOO MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES

Ronghao: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

balancedsheep: no tHIS IS WHAT THEY DO IN THEIR FREE TIME!!?? I DON’T WANT TO SEE THIS I AM ONLY SMALL WTFFFFF

Jackson: WHAT HAS THIS SHOW COME TO

MCJin: don’t u wanna know who it was?

Pinky: what do u think

MCJin: Li Quanzhe

Pinky: i don’t wanna know!!!

ChengXiao: nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

↷ ↷ ↷

[Top of the Food Chain]

guiltyhamster: update: everybody’s crying in relief

kungpaochickending: YOU MEAN EVERYBODY’S DYING BECAUSE OF YOU PIECE OF SHIT

guiltyhamster: yeah that

kungpaochickending: Petition - let’s disown Quanzhe - signed

violentfairy: signed

whostolemyvegetables: signed

notabananabanana: signed

SugarBaby: signed a billion times

yoyopres: SIGNED

brightwhiteteeth: signed

Huba♡: you aren’t even in Yuehua

brightwhiteteeth: do i look like i care

Huba♡: zhengting u gotta control ur kids

violentfairy: I CAN’T

JustinsDaddy: You need animal control for that lot

BOOGIEWangZiyi: just exterminate them

SugarBaby: do you want me dead

JustinsDaddy: ASAP

SugarBaby: DADDY!

Asshole: is that what you scream when he rams it in from behind

violentfairy: STOP TAINTING MY KIDS LIN YANJUN

SugarBaby: is that what u say when zhangjing sdfghkjl;’

violentfairy: HUANG MINGHAO Lord forgive us amen

YourLei-zi: Ahahahahaha your Lei-zi suddenly appears

violentfairy:...

JustinsDaddy: …

SugarBaby: …

violentfairy: geddout

YourLei-zi: nah

ForeverAlone: if cai xukun wasn’t in this chat i would have already burned my phone

Chapter Text

kungpaochickending: SOS EMERGENCY

whostolemyvegetables: its like 2.10am whats going on

kungpaochickending: YANCHEN FAINTED

imarapper: WHAT?!?!?!

Huba♡: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW

kungpaochickending: we were rehearsing then he fainted im so sorry

SugarBaby: is yanchen-ge okay?

kungpaochickending: i don’t know hes going to the hospital

stopthediscrimination2k18: he fell backwards just like that

notabananabanana: are u okay zeren

guiltyhamster: zeren?

BOOGIEWangZiyi: Just heard the news is yanchen okay?

JustinsDaddy: is yanchen going to the hospital

Thing1: hope hes okay

Thing2: agreed hopefully he’s fine we saw him it was terrifying like he just fell backwards hopefully nothing happened to his head

imarapper: we’re in the ambulance now

violentfairy: zeren’s with me now, i’ll take care of him

guiltyhamster: i feel so bad

fromthemountains: hopefully yanchen’ll be fine

Huba♡: we’ll keep you guys updated

kungpaochickending: i’m so sorry i should’ve stopped him from staying up so late, or i could’ve stayed up with him, i’m so so sorry

Huba♡: don’t blame yourself.

imarapper: oh, idk. They’re good friends aren’t they? If he really cared he would’ve stopped him and made him rest.

stopthediscrimination2k18: don’t blame zeren it was our whole team we should’ve taken responsibility for our leader like he took responsibility for us

Huba♡: Linkai. Let’s focus on Yanchen for now. Mingjun, we understand where you're coming from.

Thing2: God, I really hope he’ll be okay.

ForeverAlone: can we do anything to help him?

Huba♡: There’s nothing really. Thanks for worrying.

guiltyhamster: Xiao Gui, I understand how you feel. But Zeren's not at fault here. Okay? Yanchen’s own decision. zeren's currently crying into zhengting ge’s shoulder while wenjun is trying to comfort him. He blames himself enough. Hes really sensitive, u should kno that.

imarapper: if he really cared…  u yuehuas always make excuses for each other. Whatever im done

Huba♡: i’ll talk to you guys later

yoyopres: zeren wants me to tell you and xiao gui that he’s sorry

Thing2:  well i'm not xingjie or xiao gui but tell zeren to stop blaming himself, tell him to rest. It wont be good if two members faint. Okay?

yoyopres: thanks, yunyi.

Thing2: well, i’m gonna rehearse now

violentfairy: good luck

↷ ↷ ↷

LoveNoLife: Guys. Its Yunyi.

violentfairy: what happened????????? qin zimo?????? tell us what happened!!!!!

LoveNoLife: something with his eye…

yoyopres: no!!!

Potato: is he ok?

LoveNoLife: i don’t know, he’s kneeling, i think his eye is bleeding

violentfairy: no, this can’t be happening…

fromthemountains: this is awful

guiltyhamster: is he going to be okay???

sunshineboy: i hate this so much

MomsSpaghetti: i hope everyones going to be okay. Be careful.

spinnysuperman: i feel terrible yunyi wanted to perform so badly but now… he worked his butt off, just like Yanchen

Thing1: thanks guys, we’re going to the hospital, i think yunyi can’t see

Asshole: im so sorry yuntian

Thing1: the belt hit his eye, yilong yanked out the contact

sunshineboy: this sucks i'm so sorry

Villageboy: he worked so hard, he wanted to use this opportunity to show everyone that he could do it, he wanted to show everyone his skill

JustinsDaddy: fucking hell, this is terrible

Thing1: Yunyi wants me to tell you to take care with your own rehearsals

violentfairy: my heart just broke

yoyopres: hoping everyone will be okay

↷ ↷ ↷

Huba♡: we’re back now yanchen’s sleeping

imarapper: yea

violentfairy: zeren just fell asleep he’s sleeping in my dorm

yoyopres: is yanchen okay

Huba♡: low blood sugar but he’s sleeping now

Villageboy: thank god

spinnysuperman: poor yanchen

MomsSpaghetti: hes so brave

imarapper: goodnight everyone also tell zeren im sorry for going off at him its just

violentfairy: i understand. Goodnight.

imarapper has renamed violentfairy

violentfairy is now warmmother

warmmother: thank u.

imarapper: no need i should thank u

Huba♡: sleep tight everyone hows yunyi

Thing1: he can’t perform tmr

yoyopres: No!

notabananabanana: that’s terrible

spinnysupperman: he worked his ass off and this is how he’s repaid?

guiltyhamster: im so sorry yuntian

SugarBaby: yeah, it must suck. Im so so so sorry for you guys.

Thing1: thanks liang hui yilong and i are gonna work out this choreo for three

warmmother: i hope y’all will do well, i love you all, take care okay? Don’t overwork urselves. Zeren’s tossing and turning, so i’ll take care of him.

Binbin: everyones getting injured

BFG: i hope everyone will be careful

SuperNongNong: it makes me so sad

Asshole: everyone remember that your health comes first

Thing1: thanks. gnight

↷ ↷ ↷

warmmother: congrats to everyone you all did so well especially yanchen and yuntian

Thing1: thanks u did well too congrats on getting no 1 in dance

warmmother: my son Zeren did well too, and Xinchun with his bear, and wenjun getting 1st in vocal with zhangjing and chengcheng’s rap was heartbreaking and our evil hamster

SugarBaby: Do I not get a mention??????

SugarBaby: betrayed by my mother who is supposedly meant to be warm

warmmother: I’m warm just not to you

SugarBaby: true

SugarBaby: Kunkun ge comfort me

JustinsDaddy: nah

yoyopres: i came first in vocal with zhangjing

warmmother: yah ik i just said congrats my dork

yoyopres: um rude i thought u were warm and gentle and soft

yoyopres: xiao gui evidently thought too or else he wouldn't have given you that cringey ass nickname

imarapper: ye i saw zhengting cuddling zeren so cute <3

Huba♡: never do that again

Villageboy: proud of bangbang

Potato: thanks u too real slick with the jacket

Asshole: no one’s gonna talk about me?

notabananabanana: you didn’t terrify the audience

Asshole: …

sunshineboy: you sang in tune

eggs: you didn’t forget your lines

BobbingBoBo: my cello rocked y’all

LoveNoLife: who keeps teaching you these things

nofoodnolife: serenading us with that cello

yoyopres: eyyy you’re here

nofoodnolife has renamed yoyopres

yoyopres is now smolgiant

smolgiant: what

spinnysuperman: is no one gonna talk about sheep

MomsSpaghetti: don’t forget v. good

whostolemyvegetables: we rocked the show XD

ForeverAlone: chengcheng lol

whostolemyvegetables: I WASN’T SURE IF WE HAD FINISHED

Thing1: im so proud of you guys

YourLei-zi: you too yuntian it was amazing how you managed to change the choreo to fit u three in that short time

warmmother: i knew it’d all be fine

warmmother is now MotherKnowsBest

MotherKnowsBest: i love you all

kungpaochickending: random but love u too

whostolemyvegetables: me too

SugarBaby: yeah

notabananabanana: love you

smolgiant: Sure

guiltyhamster: well i don’t

MotherKnowsBest: it was ur fault u stuffed us up

guiltyhamster: my heart ;-;

kungpaochickending: i hate u quanzhe

guiltyhamster: thanks hate u too

sunshineboy: love u xinchun

sunshineboy: um i mean

smolgiant: xinchun ur bear was so cute

notabananabanana: thanks wenjun

Asshole: haha u were ignored dinghao

sunshineboy: shut up ur just jealous

Asshole: of u?

MomsSpaghetti: come on kids

Asshole: don’t tell me what to do

Asshole: you're younger than me

Huba♡: please be quiet yanchen is resting

MotherKnowsBest: sorry QUIET DOWN KIDS

Potato: tell yanchen to rest up and that he did great :)

Huba♡: thanks bangbang

Chapter Text

MotherKnowsBest: I’m stressed

BobbingBoBo: aren’t you always stressed?

MotherKnowsBest: well…

MotherKnowsBest: yes

MotherKnowsBest: but now I’m extra stressed

SugarBaby: chill for once

MotherKnowsBest: pls have you seen yourself

Thing2: the production team are so cruel

sunshineboy: letting us know AFTER WE’VE LEARNT THE SONG if we’re eliminated

MotherKnowsBest: I’m screaming internally save me

kungpaochickending: we know for sure you’re definitely gonna be in the top 9 stop freaking out

MotherKnowsBest: mY CHILDREN THOUGH

whostolemyvegetables: have faith in us

notabananabanana: wenjun and i are both in the mid-late twenties, zeren is late teens early twenties, you others are all in top 9

guiltyhamster: what about me?

SugarBaby: nothing about you

guiltyhamster: fight me justin

SugarBaby: i don’t fight the weak

MotherKnowsBest: as much as I want to see justin get destroyed I don’t need my second favourite get murdered in the process -.-

guiltyhamster: uh i did destroy him remember the letter

MotherKnowsBest: I will come after you if you even think about making another letter

fromthemountains: yeah i think we all think the same even MC Jin was freaking out lol

fromthemountains: also yuehua boys don’t worry you’ll make it for sure its us who need to worry

Thing2: i don’t think i’ll make it this time round, feitong you’ll be in trust me

MomsSpaghetti: same here

spinnysuperman: have faith honglin

Asshole: yeah

nofoodnolife: ^^

MomsSpaghetti: my rankings far too low

↷ ↷ ↷

[Bananarama]

Asshole: honglin you’ll be fine

nofoodnolife: Yeah you can rise up like i did

MomsSpaghetti: zhangjing that’s you besides i’ve already accepted it

spinnysuperman: believe in yourself honglin!

sunshineboy: even if u don’t make it well you’ve still learnt a lot here

Asshole: lu dinghao u shithead

sunshineboy: i’m always honest

Asshole: now is not the time to be honest kiddo

MomsSpaghetti: no i’d rather you all be honest, thanks yanjun though

nofoodnolife: honglin…

Asshole: (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)

YourLei-zi: WHAT’S UP KIDS?!?!?!

spinnysuperman: HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE

YourLei-zi: I’m everywhere XD

YourLei-zi: oh sorry i ruined the mood

Asshole: …

sunshineboy: …

spinnysuperman: …

MomsSpaghetti: hey yanlei

MomsSpaghetti has renamed YourLei-zi

YourLei-zi is now everywhereanytime

everywhereanytime: fair

Asshole: u fucking idiot leave or i’ll hit you

everywhereanytime: yes yes chill

everywhereanytime has left Bananarama

Asshole: good

sunshineboy: anyway we’ll all be fine just learn the song

spinnysuperman: ya believe

nofoodnolife: eat your sadness away that’s what i do

Asshole: ffs zhangjing

↷ ↷ ↷

[Top of the Food Chain]

Asshole: woah woah woah

nofoodnolife: what

Asshole: babe

SugarBaby: oooh is zhangjing ramming it from behjkl;kl;’kl;’lk;’;lkjkl;’

MotherKnowsBest: HUANG MINGHAO I SWEAR TO GOD

JustinsDaddy: control your kids zhengting

kungpaochickending: well he’s seen enough of  

MotherKnowsBest: DING ZEREN IF YOU DARE

kungpaochickending: well

kungpaochickending: after the letter incident i fear nothing but zhengting’s wrath

kungpaochickending: it’s not my fault you polluted your own kid

MotherKnowsBest: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

smolgiant: please we’ve all heard the noises

guiltyhamster: Scarred for life

notabananabanana: thinking about it makes my head hurt

whostolemyvegetables: yeahhh xiao gui yanchen you better asdfghjkllllllllllllllllllll;;;;;;.,

brightwhiteteeth: no

imarapper: gross

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: i’m scarred for life

ladykiller: what’s this about?

ladykiller: …

littleprince: ewww

Shakespeare: haven’t u heard enough of bu fan and yue yue though

BFG: whats that ur saying ziyang?

100%machoman: …….. Mu Ziyang you’re dead

BobbingBoBo: kids calm down

ForeverAlone: what its TOTALLY NOT LIKE U AND QIN FEN KEEP GOING AT IT

LoveNoLife: SHUT UP ZUO YE I CAN SEE HIM RUNNING TOWARDS US RUNNNNNN

unwanted: uh oh

SuperNongNong: so that’s what I’ve been hearing at night you lot all going at it

mralmostthere: thankfully at mavericks we dont have anything disgusting going on

stopthediscriminaton2k18: lucky us

JustinsDaddy: …

BOOGIEWangZiyi: …

Asshole: please everyone has a sex life except for grandpa fen fen

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: excuse you

Asshole: wAIT WHAT

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: you zhangjing has a big mouth doesn’t he

MotherKnowsBest: QIN FEN HE LIKES TO EAT OKAY

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: eat what yanjun ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

nofoodnolife: ur just jealous coz mubo is vanilla 24/7 and u are a kinky bitch

myauntkeepstryingtoabductme: i’ve had enough

JustinsDaddy: HAOHAO NO DON’T READ THIS

BOOGIEWangZiyi: kid

BOOGIEWangZiyi: you’re old enough to know that

JustinsDaddy: he’s still young ziyi pls we must protect him

BOOGIEWangZiyi: he’s seventeen now

Huba♡: I SWEAR TO GOD ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP OR ELSE

Asshole: jealous that you don’t have anyone hmmm

guiltyhamster: my time for revenge has come

MotherKnowsBest: NO STOP LI QUANZHE

guiltyhamster: …

MotherKnowsBest: DON’T TELL THEM ABOUT ME

guiltyhamster: …

guiltyhamster: you literally just told them yourself

Asshole: …

ladykiller: ….

brightwhiteteeth: …

kungpaochickending: ...

whostolemyvegetables: ...

imarapper: …

Potato: …

Mark: …

Potato: the mavericks people, feitong, zibo, shuhao and i are the only pure people left in this world

smolgiant: aren’t i pure

notabananabanana: …

sunshineboy: …

smolgiant: …

smolgiant has left Top of the Food Chain

sunshineboy: xinchun i can’t believe you

sunshineboy has left Top of the Food Chain

notabananabanana: i didn’t do anything

MotherKnowsBest: huang xinchun why are you taking advantage of both of them

notabananabanana: im not!

Mark: the noises prove otherwise

Potato: I’m done

eggs: is someone gonna add them back

itsGE: why not

eggs has added smolgiant and sunshineboy to Top of the Food Chain

smolgiant: what the hell jeffrey

itsGE: don’t you dare leave again you soft idiot

Asshole: LU DINGHAO SAME GOES TO YOU

sunshineboy: LET ME DEAL WITH MY HEART BREAK IN PEACE

smolgiant: YOUR HEARTBREAK?!?!

MotherKnowsBest: Wenjun calm down

smolgiant: I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS HUANG XINCHUN

notabananabanana: wenjun please

sunshineboy: You used me all along so you could get him.

Asshole: I liked you. I thought you were a friend. I thought that you and Dinghao were really… well. I was wrong.

MotherKnowsBest: i’m so disappointed in you.

kungpaochickending: jun-ge it’s not your fault

MotherKnowsBest: why are my children like this also where the hell is justin and chengcheng they both hoe expose like pros

SugarBaby: I’m completely innocent and pure

whostolemyvegetables: totally yeah sure

MotherKnowsBest: NO CHENGCHENG WHAT DID YOU DO TO JUSTIN

guiltyhamster: AHH see i’m the only innocent one now

SuperNongNong: justin screams rather loudly it’s a bit disturbing

MotherKnowsBest: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Villageboy: i want to go back to my village

fromthemountains: huba can you throw me back to the mountains I’m done with this

stopthediscrimination2k18: i’ll go with you

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: oh shut up you’re just jealous you’re missing out on the action

BobbingBoBo: can teach you guys, zibo, feitong, mingjun, luo zheng and xikan if you’re here

fromthemountains: nope nope nope nope nope

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: mubo

fomthemountains: we are CHILDREN

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: your screams would sound great with the high notes that you can hit

Villageboy: i have a pure clean soul not a dirty minded perv like u qin fen

ladykiller: what has this chat come to

stopthediscrimination2k18: zhengting i blame u

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: mubo’s kinkier than me lol

BobbingBoBo: …

Thing2: pls stop

Asshole: god

Thing1: i mean it was how we were made

Thing2: STOP

100%machoman: thats it SHUT UP OR ELSE I WILL GET BU FAN

littleprince: please like u aren’t the most kinky out there

Shakespeare: you’re contaminating your kids

littleprince: and we know you enjoy getting spanked yue yue

BFG: what the hell

SugarBaby: chengcheng

whostolemyvegetables: what

SugarBaby: get over here right now

MotherKnowsBest: WHAT NO

kungpaochickending: he’s running

MotherKnowsBest: YOU TWO LOCKED THE DOOR

kungpaochickending: okay stop now we need to practice

SugarBaby: practice what my ass

whostolemyvegetables: ya i can practice ur ass

MotherKnowsBest: WHAT THE HELL NO I FORBID IT

Chapter Text

kungpaochickending: I don’t want any more eliminations

MotherKnowsBest: the eliminations are literally tomorrow

Asshole: ;-;-;-; whyyy

nofoodnolife: I love you all even yanjun

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: you especially love yanjun

nofoodnolife: shut up

BobbingBoBo: be serious for once in your life

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: you’re just mad that we were interrupted by the kids

ForeverAlone: now that’s a sight i’d like to delete from my memory

LoveNoLife: DON’T BRING IT UP

MotherKnowsBest: WHY WOULD YOU TWO LET YOUR CHILDREN SEE THAT

unwanted: I WANT TO JUMP OUT A WINDOW

ForeverAlone: I want to be disowned so i can go to another family

MotherKnowsBest: I’ll trade justin for you

SugarBaby: betrayed what did I do to deserve this

MotherKnowsBest: zuo ye is a sweet kid and you’re satan’s spawn

ForeverAlone: i want kunkun to be my daddy lol

SugarBaby has renamed ForeverAlone

ForeverAlone is now KunkunsBaby

MotherKnowsBest: nevermind then i’ll trade justin for peiyao

unwanted: yay

BobbingBoBo: don’t break my heart

unwanted: you brought this upon yourself

SugarBaby: always lock the door and make sure that no one else is in the room…

notabananabanana: you and chengcheng are fucking terrifying i wanted to jump out the window and delete my existence

SugarBaby: lol how about ur threesome with wenjun and dinghao

MotherKnowsBest: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

spinnysuperman: tell me this isn’t true

sunshineboy: ha

spinnysuperman: I’M CRYING WHAT THE HELL DINGHAO

MotherKnowsBest: BI WENJUN HUANG XINCHUN

kungpaochickending: NO NOT MY JUN-GE HE’S TOO PURE FOR THIS

smolgiant: stfu zeren what about u and yanchen

Huba♡: WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT

kungpaochickending: I don’t know what they’re talking about

Potato: never have i been so grateful that i might be eliminated tomorrow

SugarBaby: you’ll still know all about everything bangbang

MomsSpaghetti: yea same Bangbang i’ll be very glad

Mark: if i’m eliminated i’ll get on a plane straight back to Thailand

Mark: run away from this mess

ladykiller: if u leave we’ll add you back

littleprince: yea so don’t think about leaving this group

SugarBaby: you’re all stuck here

LoveNoLife: sadly

Huba♡: unfortunately

SugarBaby: you two are no fun

MotherKnowsBest: I love how we all entirely forgot about eliminations tomorrow

Potato: …

SugarBaby: …

MomsSpaghetti: …

JustinsDaddy: …

KunkunsBaby: …

whostolemyvegetables: why would you even bring that up

BobbingBoBo: mood killers besides we all know ur gonna make it chengcheng you’re the eternal 3rd place

smolgiant: sigh

sunshineboy: wenjun you’ll be fine i promise okay

notabananabanana: …

BFG: we’ll all be okay no matter what happens

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: you’re surprisingly soft for someone who has the face of domestic violence

BFG is now NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence

smolgiant: was that really necessary

mralmostthere: yes

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: if I knew how to rename things bu fans would be the first to change

SuperNongNong: haha nice one grandpa

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: …

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence: get rekt grandpa

littleprince: dont say that dads aren’t supposed to be like that

100%machoman: so im ur mother?

Shakespeare: what mature parents we have

littleprince: ziyang ur literally two years older than bu fan

Shakespeare: idgaf

MotherKnowsBest: why can’t my children be this respectful???

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence: have u seen ling chao

SugarBaby: shut up old man

100%machoman: i see

Thing1: lol

guiltyhamster: yeah shut up ya old OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

JustinsDaddy: good thing I only have one son who is controllable unlike the animals that zhengting raised  

MotherKnowsBest: don’t u dare disrespect me

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: so you only love me because wow

BOOGIEWangZiyi: don’t say that honey u know we love you no matter what

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: I have my doubts

MotherKnowsBest: you have me Haohao who loves you no matter what okay

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: thanks aunty zhengting

BOOGIEWangZiyi: STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY SON

MotherKnowsBest: I’ll give you justin for the sweet child

JustinsDaddy: WHY WOULD WE EVER WANT JUSTIN

SugarBaby: I know you want me daddy

JustinsDaddy is now haohaosfather

BOOGIEWangZiyi is now haohaosmother

SugarBaby: my heart

MotherKnowsBest: wow

kungpaochickending: at least u have me

MotherKnowsBest: at least i have wenjun and xinchun

guiltyhamster: betrayed

whostolemyvegetables: what about me

brightwhiteteeth: please go to sleep everyone eliminations tomorrow my notifications keep going off huba is gonna kill me if i can’t sleep

kungpaochickending: YOU HEARD HIM EVERYBODY GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW

↷ ↷ ↷

MotherKnowsBest: why did this day have to come ;-;

Mark: it was nice getting to know you all; wenjun, zeren, quanzhe, best dormmates

Potato: thank you for everything, especially yanchen

brightwhiteteeth: I’m so sorry bangbang, yuntian, yunyi

Thing2: its okay, i had a great time here

YourLei-zi: Qin Fen and Mubo can’t stop crying, they can’t type

unwanted: i love u all

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: love u too

ladykiller: this is so sad i hate eliminations

haohaosfather: I think we all do

SuperNongNong: im gonna miss you all

itsGE: yanlei

mralmostthere: im so sorry yanlei

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: me tooo, you know i love you right?

YourLei-zi: well now im a citizen producer im gonna vote for you, if you dont get into the top 20 at least im gonna disown you you know that right

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: thanks kid

eggs: im gonna miss all of u, yanlei, my adopted brother

YourLei-zi: me too, my adopted sister

haohaosfather: I’m going to miss my fanboy zuo ye keep working hard okay? We’ll meet someda soon, so in the meantime, practise hard

haohaosmother: you all have to jiayou okay???

Potato: we will don’t worry

Villageboy: i dont know what to do anymore, only li rang and i remain in our company

MotherKnowsBest: All the other families are falling apart

MomsSpaghetti: Bananas fighting!

Asshole: we love you

Uncle: i know i never come onto this chat but i love you all okay? Work hard, make us proud with your songs

LoveNoLife: we’ll miss you uncle

unwanted: visit us whenever you can okay

Uncle: well i might be joining OACA so

BobbingBoBo: really?

unwanted: yay!!!!

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: take care of them junyi for us

Uncle: okay

itsGE: love y’all we’ll work hard for you Junyi don’t worry

Uncle: good

SuperNongNong: this sucks i hate eliminations so much

littleprince: we’ll do our best for our eliminated brothers

MotherKnowsBest: goodbye my 25 children

↷ ↷ ↷

[Winner Winner Chicken Dinner]

KunkunsBaby: don’t miss us too much

BobbingBoBo: don’t forget to practise hard

unwanted: don’t worry we will

LoveNoLife: yeah don’t worry old man we got it sorted

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: i don’t trust you at all i only trust zuo ye

KunkunsBaby: tell kunkun ge i’ll vote and support him always

BobbingBoBo: traitor

KunkunsBaby: what peiyao and zimo will vote for you two

unwanted: see this is the result of your spoiling

LoveNoLife: yeah

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: zuo ye you’re disowned

KunkunsBaby: at least i have cai xukun

LoveNoLife: we don’t need parents like you who obviously have favourites

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: we don’t need disrespectful children like you we’ve got jeffrey

LoveNoLife: why are we all like this

Chapter Text

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence: we have 3 team members left wth

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I HATE YOU ALL

stopthediscrimination2k18: we voted for you to stay!!!!!

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence: update: four new members

haohaosfather: ziyi you’re too kind

haohaosmother: parents make sacrifices for their kids and u did too

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I’m not your kid but thanks ziyi

haohaosmother: but you aren’t in my group?

haohaosmother: oh wait yeah its fine dont worry gotta respect the elderly

100%machoman: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

littleprince: sorry you aren’t wanted anywhere lol

Shakespeare: yeah old man

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: ziyi have fun with vocals

nofoodnolife: we chose him because hes good enough

whostolemyvegetables: get rekt qin fen

binbin: i’m so hurt you voted me out

Huba♡: dream is literally four Yuehua + yanchen + haohao + me

notabananabanana: boom boom boom is a mess

haohaosfather: so is listen to what i say half of us don’t know anything

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: thanks mum and dad

haohaosmother: anything for my baby boy

haohaosfather: we love you

nofoodnolife: but seriously ziyi needs some vocal help

itsGE: save ziyi pls

SuperNongNong: firewalking is great without the oldies

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: ouch

Asshole: lol

100%machoman: I HATE BOOM BOOM BOOM IT’S TOO CUTE FOR ME

littleprince:  hahaha shame

spinnysuperman: hahaha the elderly need to learn new dances

guiltyhamster: yeah hahaha we didn’t want the elderly holding us up

100%machoman: thats harsh

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: you hurt me

ladykiller: what about me :(( I’M NOT OLD

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: YOU KNOW MY AGE

Asshole: WE VOTED FOR YOU TO STAY

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: then why aren’t I there ;-;

Asshole: your overall score was too low

mralmostthere: lolololol

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: WHY DIDN’T YOU VOTE ME HIGHER

Asshole: there are better people out there than the elderly

spinnysuperman: true

ladykiller: YOU VOTED ME OUT BUT I’M NOT OLD

mralmostthere: i hope u come to boom boom boom xikan

ladykiller: good god i hope not

Villageboy: amazing if u can come

ladykiller: please no

ladykiller: luckily i’m in Listen to what i say HAHA GET REKT LUO ZHENG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mralmostthere: WELL WE HAVE YUE YUE AND LI RANG MUCH BETTER THAN U ANYWAY

ladykiller: my heart ;-;

mralmostthere: i don’t care

stopthediscrimination2k18: hahahaha

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: thank you ziyi seriously thank you

haohaosmother: no need

nofoodnolife: I don’t know if I would’ve preferred qin fen over ziyi

eggs: well ziyi wanted to come to our song did you hear him screeching in the shower

haohaosmother: ouch

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: yeah thanks zhangjing but i hate singing

nofoodnolife: i take it back we’re glad we have someone who can sing at least somewhat coherently

imarapper: haha we got zheng ruibin

nofoodnolife: screw u

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: i hate the production crew

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I’m too old to be voted out

100%machoman: at least ur in a good song i’m stuck in boom boom boom

Villageboy: shut up yue yue like we wanted u anyway

notabananabanana: yeah and u weren’t wanted anywhere else

SuperNongNong: lolololol sorry not sorry

100%machoman: betrayed

littleprince: yeah im glad no old people holding us up anymore

Shakespeare: agreed

100%machoman: my children! Bu fan back me up

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence: what???

100%machoman has left Top of the Food Chain

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence: what did i do?????

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence has added 100%machoman to Top of the Food Chain

100%machoman: bu fan how could you

eggs: are you two having a marital dispute or something?

100%machoman: I WANT A DIVORCE

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence: NO I’M SORRY

NotTheFaceOfDomesticViolence is now DontDivorceMe

100%machoman is now IWantADivorce

littleprince: zhengting ge will u adopt ziyang and me

MotherKnowsBest: what no

Shakespeare: fen ge?

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: you voted me out of course not

littleprince: damn it

fromthemountains: stop

Villageboy: shut up

smolgiant: no one wants you

littleprince: fen ge please we’re sorry

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: What’ll you do for me if I do adopt you

littleprince: I’ll teach you how to change your username

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: REALLY!?

littleprince: of course not -.-

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I hate you all

fromthemountains: robbed of hope in -2 seconds

Asshole: im sure someone will adopt you, if you bribe zhengting he probably will

MotherKnowsBest: absolutely not my children are already animals and you want me to take care of more

Asshole: you’re young aren’t you

MotherKnowsBest: …

SugarBaby: yanjun did you actually just go there

MotherKnowsBest: you better start praying lin yanjun before I come over and deck your ass

Asshole: well i’m older than u so…

MotherKnowsBest: I DON’T FUCKING CARE U IDIOT

guiltyhamster: language mother

MotherKnowsBest: don’t even try me now quanzhe or you’ll be next

kungpaochickending: PLEASE GET QUANZHE NEXT

guiltyhamster: you said you’d forgive me!

kungpaochickending: NO WAY IN HELL I’M STILL SCARRED FROM THAT LETTER

guiltyhamster: that was ages ago

kungpaochickending: still haunts me every night you little shit

guiltyhamster: you can’t call me little if I’m taller than you zeren

kungpaochickending: screw waiting for zhengting i will do it myself

guiltyhamster: firewalking team protect me!!!

littleprince: nahh

SuperNongNong: you’re getting what you deserve quanzhe

Shakespeare: don’t think so u deserve it u destroyed so many peoples lives

brightwhiteteeth: he’s coming

Asshole: this’ll be a sight to see

SugarBaby: zhengting ge is following

whostolemyvegetables: this is amazing

stopthediscrimination2k18: HAHAHAHAHA

guiltyhamster: I hate you all

Villageboy: you’re in the same room why you messaging to communicate

Asshole: sshhh

guiltyhamster: I CAN HEAR FOOTSTEPS SAVE ME

Chapter Text

guiltyhamster: i can’t feel anything

MotherKnowsBest: good that’s the point

Asshole: it was hilarious we were all dying of laughter

SuperNongNong: you literally saw zhengting, screamed and then fainted

stopthediscrimination2k18: [ Sent a video ]

imarapper: HE JUST FLOPPED OML

fromthemountains: OMG IM DYING

brightwhiteteeth: …

Villageboy: holdup imma send it to the eliminated trainees

kungpaochickending: YESSSSSSSSS

guiltyhamster: NOOOOOOOOO PLEASE I DON’T DESERVE THIS

kungpaochickending: we all believe otherwise

Villageboy: [Sent a photo]

guiltyhamster: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ladykiller: wish i was there live

haohaosfather: I would pay to see that live

kungpaochickending: that was not enough

brightwhiteteeth: li quanzhe

notabananabanana: It was amazing

kungpaochickending: someone send that to the mentors

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: sending it to jackson

guiltyhamster: please no spare me

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: too late

↷ ↷ ↷

[We don’t get paid enough for this shit]

Jackson: [Sent a video]

ChengXiao: what is that shit lolololol I LOVE IT SO MUCH THIS IS WHY YUEHUA IS THE BEST COMPANY

Pinky: you said you’re not biased -_-

ChengXiao is now forthelasttimeimnotbiased

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: you have to agree though this is the best

MCJin: hahaha the trainees are amazing

balancedsheep: quanzhe lost balance literally

balancedsheep: he deserved it though

MCJin: remember the letter? He deserves this

Ronghao: yeah he does he deserves more pain though

Jackson: this was payback for that but I 100% agree he deserves more

Jackson: let’s prank him

MCJin: he doesn’t know we know

Jackson: but he does? Qin Fen sent me the vid

MCJin: about the letter though coz we never told him that you others know about it

Pinky: oh your little buddy

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: right

balancedsheep: i haven’t healed yet

Jackson: no one has

Ronghao: don’t bring it up please

MCJin: i suffered most i saw it IN PERSON

balancedsheep: RIP

Pinky: Cheng Xiao

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: he deserves to suffer but i feel bad for him

MCJin: don’t feel bad for him the kid is evil do you want to see the letter again?!?!

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: NOOOOOOOOO

Jackson has renamed the chat

The chat is now called Revenge for the Letter

Pinky: good name

MCJin: should we add the victims of the letter

Jackson: we’re all victims

MCJin: direct victims

Jackson: WE’RE ALL DIRECT VICTIMS

balancedsheep: I WANT TO ERASE THE LETTER FROM MY MEMORY

Jackson has added kungpaochickending and MotherKnowsBest to Revenge for the Letter

Jackson: this is temporary

Pinky: what are those usernames lololololol

MCJin: seconded

balancedsheep: XD

MotherKnowsBest: don’t even ask about our usernames we’ve seen worse

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: welcome fellow yuehua people

kungpaochickending: lol that username

Ronghao: could say the same for you two

balancedsheep: We want revenge on Quanzhe we saw the video and the letter

Jackson: yeahhhh

kungpaochickending: the letter WHAT A PAINFUL MEMORY

MotherKnowsBest: thinking about it makes me want to cry

Jackson: we want to prank quanzhe and get back at him

balancedsheep: we want revenge

Pinky: what he did was unforgivable

Ronghao: he needs to suffer

Ronghao: what you did in the video was not enough

balancedsheep: I have an idea

balancedsheep has added GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife to Revenge for the Letter

Jackson: QIN FEN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Pinky: i can’t stop laughing

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: LOLOLOLOL I’M DEAD

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: ?????

Ronghao: HILARIOUS EVEN I’M LAUGHING

MCJin: LMAO

Pinky: yeah nah don’t want to know about ur sex lives

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: blame peiyao

kungpaochickending: you haven’t seen our group chat then if you think these usernames are bad

Jackson: i’m suddenly scared

Jackson: what even goes on inside your group chat?

Jackson: also why don’t you just change your username?

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I don’t know how…

MotherKnowsBest: DON’T TELL HIM

MCJin: don’t worry we won’t

Ronghao: coz we don’t know how

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: won’t tell don’t worry

Jackson: i’m friends with an old man

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I’M NOT EVEN THAT OLD WTF

Jackson: bet you’re still a virgin

kungpaochickending: ...

MotherKnowsBest: the moans say otherwise

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: ZHENGTING OH MY GOD STOP

Jackson: I’m never going to the dorms again

kungpaochickending: it’s scarier than you think in those dorms

Ronghao: What do you even do in your spare time?

MCJin: i cant look at u in the same way ever again qin fen

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I will hoe expose everyone if you want

kungpaochickending: qin fen don’t you dare

MotherKnowsBest: Qin Fen i have evidence of you and mubo

Balancedsheep: THE HAN MUBO?!?!?!?!?! CELLO GUY?!?!

Pinky: wHAT?!?!?!

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: WHAT NO

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: xinchun is having threesomes with wenjun and dinghao what I do isn’t even that bad

Ronghao: I’ve never been so disgusted in my whole life

Pinky: NOOOOOO STOP I CAN’T TKAE HTIS

Jackson: THE HUANG XINCHUN THE MINION BOY?!?!?! WHO THREW THE BEAR?!?! AND THE TALL QUIET GUY AND THE LITERAL RAY OF SUNSHINE?!?!???! NOOOOOO STOP!!!!

MotherKnowsBest: STOP RUINING MY CHILDRENS IMAGES

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: NOOOO NOT YUEHUA TRAINEES I CAN’T DO THIS

MCJin: NOOOOooOOOOOOOOOooooOOOO I CAN’T LOOK AT ANY OF THEM THE SAME WAY AGAIN EVEN THE MOST PURE AREN’T PURE

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: then there is chengcheng and justin who do some freaky shit

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: you need to invest in soundproof dorms or something

MotherKnowsBest: QIN FEN LOVES BDSM AND ROLEPLAY WE SAW THE SAILOR MOON COSTUME

Jackson: QIN FEN WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU KINKY ASSHOLE

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: SHUT UP ZHU ZHENGTING

Pinky: STOP QIN FEN I DON’T WANNA KNOW JUSTIN THE YOUNGEST THE PUREST

balancedsheep: NOOOO I AM A CHILD I DON’T WANNA KNOW STOP IT PLEASE

MCJin: NOOOOOOO THE YOUNGEST KID

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: NOOO I CAN’T DO THIS PLEASE STOP MY MIND MY EYES NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: zeren has done a couple rounds with yanchen

kungpaochickending: STOP HOE EXPOSING YOU DICK

kungpaochickending: QIN FEN YOU IDIOT LETS GO MURDER HIM ZHENGTING

Pinky: I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE NOOOO STOP I CANT LOOK AT YOU EVER AGAIN IN THE SAME WAYYYYY STOPPPP

MCJin: STOP NO GOD FORGIVE US PLEASE THESE BOYS

Ronghao: NO STOP YOU BOYS

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: zhangjing uses his mouth for more than just singing and eating food ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kungpaochickending: QIN FEN YOU IDIOT SCREENSHOT TAKEN ZHANGJING IS GONNA MURDER YOU

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: STOPPPPP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

balancedsheep: can i delete my memory pls

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: bu fan and yue yue make a lot of noise when they go for a round

MotherKnowsBest: THAT’S ENOUGH

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: kunkun and ziyi have gone at it as well

balancedsheep has deleted Revenge for the Letter

Chapter Text

MotherKnowsBest: [ Sent a photo ]

kungpaochickending: [ Sent a photo ]

SugarBaby: QIN FEN WHAT THE FUCK

BobbingBoBo: THATS IT DIVORCE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nofoodnolife: QIN FEN WE ARE COMING FOR YOU

haohaosfather: … bitch

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: guys please no i’m old and fragile

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I have a reason spare me

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: guys?

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: please don’t tell me you’re all standing outside my door

brightwhiteteeth: fine we won’t tell you

notabananabanana: YOU WANT TO DIE QIN FEN WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM ABOUT ME WENJUN AND DINGHAO WE HAVE AN IMAGE TO KEEP UP

sunshineboy: YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH

smolgiant: you are dead.

haohaosmother: don’t worry qin fen we’ll make you suffer.

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: Mubo please protect me

BobbingBoBo: bitch no we’re getting a divorce ASAP

unwanted: I came to this chat again to talk to you all again, and EW WHAT THE FUCK

haohaosfather: get ready you fucking dick

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: noooo my parents

haohaosmother: honey

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: DON’T COME IN!!!

MotherKnowsBest: even the mentors are ready to beat your ass

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: kinky

SugarBaby: EW NO WTF

Villageboy: nOOOOOOOOOO

fromthemountains: HUBA PLEASE CHUCK MY ASS BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS I BEG YOU

spinnysuperman: QIN FEN THIS IS WHERE YOUR LIFE ENDS

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: but i didn’t even hoe expose you???

spinnysuperman: BANANAS STAY TOGETHER

Asshole: QIN FEN YOU IDIOTIC BITCH

whostolemyvegetables: WE’RE READY TO KILL

SugarBaby: I’m only young and you’ve already ruined my image

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: You were the one who said you wanted to no longer be considered cute Justin so I did you a favour

Huba♡: Qin Fen you are fucking dead.

SugarBaby: I would not call that a favour ;-;

MotherKnowsBest: LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ladykiller: you ruined us all even the most innocent ones

stopthediscrimination2k18: YES LET’S GO KILL HIM

BobbingBoBo: I call dibs on breaking down the door

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: i can’t do this anymore i want to go home

IWantADivorce: its okay haohao auntie yue yue will protect you

MotherKnowsBest: since when was I married to you yue yue?????? I thought you and bu fan had a thing

DontDivorceMe: are you cheating yue yue???

littleprince: my mother has an affair T_T

MotherKnowsBest: anyway let’s focus on MURDERING QIN FEN

Shakespeare: agreed back to the family drama later

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I’M SORRY OKAY

guiltyhamster: now you know what it feels like to be me

kungpaochickending: WE HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU!!!!!!

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: IN MY DEFENCE JACKSON THOUGHT I WAS A VIRGIN AND ZHENGTING SAID THE MOANS SAY OTHERWISE THIS ISN’T MY FAULT PLEASE

MotherKnowsBest: you were the one who kept hoe exposing

haohaosfather: QIN FEN SAY GOODBYE TO THE WORLD

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: STOP YOU’RE GONNA BREAK DOWN THE DOOR

Asshole: we don’t care and that’s the point

nofoodnolife: you’re going to regret the day you were born qin fen

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: NO KIDS PLEASE

kungpaochickending: not even god can save you now qin fen

brightwhiteteeth: LETS GET HIM ZEREN

nofoodnolife: YOU’RE GOING TO DIE

ladykiller: SAY GOODBYE

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: well shit

Chapter Text

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: ow

BobbingBoBo: YOU DESERVE IT

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: i can’t dance thanks to you

MotherKnowsBest: HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I hate you all

kungpaochickending: then don’t hoe expose next time if you don’t want to get destroyed

smolgiant: we hate you too

notabananabanana: YOU DESERVE EVERY BIT OF PAIN

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: I ALREADY APOLOGISED

littleprince: NOT ENOUGH

MotherKnowsBest: PD WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF THE MENTAL IMAGES YOU GAVE HIM

kungpaochickending: YEAH DURING THE MENTOR EVALUATIONS THEY COULDN’T LOOK AT US PROPERLY THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE SICK

fromthemountains: even haohao and i the purest children ever

Villageboy: they were looking at Li rang and i weirdly

SugarBaby: YOU RUINED OUR IMAGES

SuperNongNong: THEY WERE CRYING AS SOON AS THE CAMERAS TURNED OFF AND CHENG XIAO WENT TO VOMIT AND THEN THE PRODUCTION STAFF WERE SO CONFUSED

haohaosfather: i could see the tears in their eyes throughout our performances

SugarBaby: I’M MEANT TO BE SMOL YET THEY LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M SOME SORT OF MONSTER LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE QIN FEN

whostolemyvegetables: i feel even more betrayed than when my vegetables were stolen

whostolemyvegetables: more betrayed than when zhengting said he likes my sister

whostolemyvegetables: WHAT IF THEY TELL MY SISTER!?? SHE’LL NEVER LOOK AT ME THE SAME AGAIN

nofoodnolife: ronghao couldn’t look at me and was tearing up

mralmostthere: I AM INNOCENT AND I WAS HIS FAVOURITE BUT NOW HE’S TERRIFIED OF ME

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife: chill they won’t tell ur sis they’re too scarred and scared

smolgiant: and when they saw me they started to go green

smolgiant has renamed GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife

GreatGrandpaWithoutASexLife is now OldManHoeExposer

OldManHoeExposer: …

smolgiant: you deserve it

kungpaochickending: I THOUGHT YOU WERE MEANT TO BE A GOOD GUY

IWantADivorce: QIN FEN YOU ARE SHUNNED and also wenjun wtf

DontDivorceMe: bi wenjun whaattt

OldManHoeExposer: he has threesomes

BobbingBoBo: we are officially divorced fucker

MotherKnowsBest: YOU MADE WENJUN CRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT

notabananabanana: thats it round 2

OldManHoeExposer: nnnOOOOOOO

notabananabanana: you better be ready for a beat down

BobbingBoBo: qin fen i have never been so disappointed in you before

OldManHoeExposer: No where are you going??? DON’T LEAVE ME HAN MUBO

MotherKnowsBest: he’s coming to me

BobbingBoBo: marry me zhengting

MotherKnowsBest: Yes lets get married I need someone to help control my kids

eggs: qin fen is breaking down right now

notabananabanana: he deserves it after what he did

Asshole: yes he does

notabananabanana has renamed Asshole

Asshole is now Coldjokes

Coldjokes: thats much better thanks xinchun

notabananabanana: no ur still an asshole its just that qin fen deserves that name better

Coldjokes: …

spinnysuperman: we all hate u qin fen xoxo

sunshineboy: even quanzhe hates you

OldManHoeExposer: in some way this is quanzhe’s fault

guiltyhamster: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT JUST BECAUSE OF THAT ONE LETTER

MotherKnowsBest: don’t expose us or else round 3

OldManHoeExposer: yes yes i’m sorry

Villageboy: qin fen

fromthemountains: we want you to die

OldManHoeExposer: my heart

SugarBaby: don’t even try feign pain you shit

whostolemyvegetables: i swear if my sister finds out about this round 3 will come along a lot sooner than you want it too

BobbingBoBo: you’re great at this zhengzheng my darling

unwanted: w.t.f

kungpaochickending: PLEASE DON’T TELL ME THAT’S WHAT I CAN HEAR

unwanted: lemme see the chat

unwanted: NOOO MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCED MY FATHER IS A HOE EXPOSER AND MY MOTHER IS FUCKING ZHU ZHENGTING

smolgiant: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO SAVE ME PLEASE

notabananabanana: MY EYES

kungpaochickending: I’M CRYING LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE QIN FEN

whostolemyvegetables: you know what I’m suddenly up for round three

guiltyhamster: NOO MY PUNISHMENT IS TERRIBLE

kungpaochickending: LISTEN BITCH YOUR PUNISHMENT HASN’T EVEN STARTED

whostolemyvegetables: it’s qin fen’s fault zhengting and mubo are fucking

whostolemyvegetables: they better not be doing it on my bed

SugarBaby: let’s go find QIN FEN AND KILL HIM!!!! WHo’s WITH us?

Villageboy: li rang and i

fromthemountains: meeeee

mralmostthere: mavericks

spinnysuperman: bananas

littleprince: our divided qin’s entertainment family

haohaosmother: nongnong and kunkun and me and everybody else

SugarBaby: everyone is I believe so Qin Fen what are your last words

OldManHoeExposer: …

eggs: pretty sure he’s crying because of zhengting and mubo

eggs: i think that’s chengcheng’s bed

whostolemyvegetables: WHAT NO PLEASE STOP I DON’T DESERVE THIS

binbin: oooh WHY YOU WATCHING MUBO AND ZHENGTING FUCKING

eggs: I was snooping around chengcheng’s dorm and they locked me in so I’m hiding in the top bunk muffling my cries of horror

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: WHY ARE YOU SNOOPING AROUND JEFFREY?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

eggs: I was bored and decided to come in here

SugarBaby: I’m going to regret asking this but what exactly are they doing

eggs: anything and everything it’s hella kinky

eggs: I never realised zhengting was this much of a kinklord

eggs: the bunks shaking

eggs: ZHENGTING HAS A DADDY KINK CONFIRMED

OldManHoeExposer: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

unwanted: my families falling apart i came back here to see them and...

LoveNoLife: I’m crying same peiyao

Shakespeare: this is all qin fen’s fault

eggs: I HAVE SO MANY REGRETS WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS???

kungpaochickending: just tell them to stop

eggs: NO BECAUSE THEY’RE WAY TOO INTO THIS THEY WERE ROLEPLAYING EARLIER MY EARS PLEASE SEND HELP

OldManHoeExposer: im crying for real they’re coming but i’m still crying why mubo why zhengting i said im sorry

eggs: SO AM I QIN FEN SO AM I AREN’T YOU MEANT TO BE MY FATHER AND MUBO MY MOTHER

eggs: Zhengting can’t be my stepmother it doesn’t work this way

eggs: Zhengting is far too kinky to be able to look after anyone no wonder his kids are animals

eggs: THAT WOULD MAKE THE YUEHUA BOYS MY STEPBROTHERS SAVE ME PLEASE I CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE

kungpaochickending: I DON’T WANT YOU EITHER WHAT THE HELL

eggs: QUANZHE SHOULD HAVE TO SWITCH PLACES WITH ME AS PUNISHMENT

brightwhiteteeth: xingjie is sadly staring at his phone

eggs: waittt

eggs: 2zhu? The relationships are stuffed up

eggs: hOW THE HELL DID MUBO GET THIS MANY TOYS INTO THE BUILDING

SugarBaby: JEFFREY STOP

eggs: SOMEONE SAVE ME

Villageboy: i regret buying a phone

fromthemountains: I regret leaving my mountain

kungpaochickending: someone stop them

whostolemyvegetables: please let me delete myself from existence

guiltyhamster: yeah coz they’re on your bed

whostolemyvegetables: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

eggs: your bed is going to be a serious biohazard by the end of this chengcheng

whostolemyvegetables: NOOOOOOOOOOO WHEN WILL THEY STOP?!?!?!

eggs: i don’t think they ever will…

SugarBaby: don’t worry chengcheng you can share a bed with me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

brightwhiteteeth: update: we finished round 2 and round 3

OldManHoeExposer: noooooooooo noooooooooo MUBO

eggs: Qin Fen your day is a walk in the park compared to mine

eggs: IM CRYING SOMEONE SAVE ME T_T

OldManHoeExposer: don’t worry my daughter I’ll come save you

eggs: I HAVE BEEN IN THIS ROOM FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF LISTENING TO THESE TWO AND I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER SLEEP AGAIN

eggs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO THESE TWO ARE TOO KINKY PLEASE HELP

eggs: ZHENGTING IS WAY TOO INTO GETTING SPANKED HE’S SCREAMING DADDY AT EVERY HIT

itsGE: picked up tips???

kungpaochickending: I’M SCARRED FOR LIFE THIS SHOW HAS RUINED ME

Chapter Text

eggs: is anyone coming to save me I can’t handle this anymore

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: what did i just read????

haohaosmother: nooooo my son

haohaosfather: QIN FEN THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

OldManHoeExposer: T_T

OldManHoeExposer: if I stop them from starting another round and save chengcheng’s bed from any more abuse and jeffrey from the earful he’s receiving will you all forgive me?

whostolemyvegetables: maybe but please what did I do to deserve this you better fix it qin fen

OldManHoeExposer: I LOVE YOU HAN MUBO

eggs: I THINK THEY’RE STARTING ANOTHER ROUND AWSDJSWAFGHKL;SASFKLJS

SugarBaby: NOOOOOO MY MOTHER

itsGE: oooh fun

notabananabanana: NOOOOOOOOOO

sunshineboy: NO

eggs: someone call the mentors i can’t handle this anymore please

eggs: MY MOTHER AND MY STEPMOTHER THEY’RE FUCKING I THINK CHENGCHENG’S SLEEPING BAG AND BED ARE GOING TO SDFGHJKL:KHGFSASDFGHJKL

whostolemyvegetables: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

eggs: SOMEONE GET MC JIN TO SAVE ME PLEASE HE’S THE MOST FEARLESS OUT OF THE MENTORS I NEED HELP ASAP

eggs: SAVE ME

eggs: “SPANK ME DADDY SPANK ME!” - ZHU ZHENGTING 2018

ladykiller: NOOOOOOOOO I’M GONNA MUTE THIS CHAT

eggs: CAN ANYONE GET MC JIN TO SAVE ME FROM THIS HELL I’M CRYING INTO A PILLOW I DON’T KNOW WHO’S BUT IT’S MY ONLY FRIEND

SugarBaby: Well we’ve already ruined our images

SugarBaby has added MCJin to Top of the Food Chain

MCJin: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING WHAT DID JEFFREY DO TO DESERVE THIS

SugarBaby: can u save us again????? Jeffrey is traumatised

eggs: please I can’t handle this anymore

MCJin: I think you need more than one person if we’re going to stop those two so um who else would you like to help break this up

Coldjokes: GET JACKSON

MCJin has added Jackson to Top of the Food Chain

Jackson: I KNEW FREAKY SHIT HAPPENED IN THIS CHAT

eggs: save me please all i can hear is moaning groaning shouting

Jackson: JEFFREY MY MAN ARE YOU OKAY?!?!?!

eggs: absolutely not i need counselling after this

brightwhiteteeth: I’M SO SORRY

whostolemyvegetables: THEY’RE DOING THIS IN MY BED I HATE YOU QIN FEN THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

Jackson: I can hear them from here

OldManHoeExposer: I’m CRYING SO MuCH RIGHt nOW

MCJin: exactly how long have you been in there jeffrey?

eggs: i’ve lost the ability to tell time please save me i don’t deserve this last time i checked it had been an hour and a half

fromthemountains: he disappeared approximately two hours ago

eggs: [ Sent a video ]

SugarBaby: WHAT NO MY MOTHER NO NO NO I CAN HEAR THEM NO NO NO

kungpaochickending: NOOOOO STOP WTF

Villageboy: hello, 110, i’d like to delete my memory

Jackson: Jeffrey how the hell have you survived

eggs: my soul left my body long ago

OldManHoeExposer: here’s something to cleanse you

OldManHoeExposer: [ Sent a photo ]

eggs: THAT’S NOT HELPING I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS ROOM PLEASE

Jackson: im asking for a pay raise

eggs: what do I get for surviving all this????

MCJin: don’t worry jeffrey

eggs: thank u T_T I CAN’T STOP CRYING THEY’RE STILL GOING AT IT

whostolemyvegetables: I’M CRYING FOR MY BED

eggs: CHENGCHENG YOUR BED IS A SERIOUS BIOHAZARD I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING THESE TWO KNOW NO CHILL

eggs: THEY HAVE NO CONTROL THEY’RE BEASTS

eggs: WHEN ARE YOU COMING?!?!!

MCJin: we’re getting hazmat suits

eggs: you definitely need those but please bE QUICK

notabananabanana: lets create a support group for jeffrey

kungpaochickending: jeffrey we love you

imarapper: we care about you

smolgiant: why aren’t you having a threesome with them?

kungpaochickending: BI WENJUN AS THE SUBSTITUTE MOTHER FOR ZHENGTING I AM DISAPPOINTED

smolgiant: what

smolgiant: oh um

smolgiant: why don’t you just tell them to stop?

kungpaochickending: honestly AREn’T YOU mEANT To BE MATURE UR THE SECOND OLDEST

smolgiant: idk what ur talking about

kungpaochickending: ITS OKAY JEFFREY

eggs: NOOOO ITS GETTING MORE AND MORE EXTREME

eggs: I COMMEND THEM ON THEIR TREMENDOUS STAMINA BUT OH MY GOD WHY

eggs: THEY STILL DON’T KNOW I’M HERE SUFFERING

Jackson: WE’RE COMING TO SAVE YOU RIGHT NOW JEFFREY WE HAVE THE HAZMAT SUITS

eggs: OH THANK THE GODS

Jackson: BREAKING OPEN THE DOOR NOW THEY’RE SO LOUD WHAT THE FUCK

MCJin: OH MY GOD THIS IS HORRIFYING

eggs: IS IT SAFE TO COME DOWN NOW!??

Jackson: somewhat? WE’RE LEAVING NOW BYE I HOPE YOU’LL HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RECOVERY

Jackson has left Top of the Food Chain

MCJin has left Top of the Food Chain

eggs: PHEW OMG CHENGCHENG YOUR BED IM SO SORRY RIP CHENGCHENG’S BED

MotherKnowsBest: OH MY FUCKING GOD JEFFREY WERE YOU IN HERE THE WHOLE TIME

eggs: I’M CRYING TEARS OF RELIEF AND YES I SAW AND HEARD EVERYTHING ZHENGTING

BobbingBoBo: …

eggs: NOT OKAY I AM NOT OKAY

eggs: They’re taking chengchengs bedding and mattress away to get it replaced

kungpaochickending has renamed the chat

Top of the Food Chain is now Jeffrey’s Support Group

Chapter Text

whostolemyvegetables: rip bed

BobbingBoBo: Jeffrey I am so sorry and Chengcheng your bed well um yeah

OldManHoeExposer: … Han mubo

eggs is now scarredforlife

scarredforlife: I’m going to go crawl into a corner and cry after that

MotherKnowsBest: God Jeffrey reading the chat i am so sorry we truly are we really didn’t mean for you to be there you know

smolgiant: well he could’ve joined you

scarredforlife: never again will i ever snoop in dorms without an accomplice

smolgiant: what why

scarredforlife: BI WENJUN I HATE YOU

notabananabanana: well in his defense that’s how it happened for us

spinnysuperman: Good god

MotherKnowsBest: I would say I’m disappointed but I honestly can’t say much

kungpaochickending: was i a good substitute mother?

guiltyhamster: well u did um keep us away from the hazard zone

scarredforlife: THat’s GOOD FOR YOU

kungpaochickending: I can replace mubo as your mother jeffrey

scarredforlife: You’re younger than me but yes pls

BobbingBoBo: that means that ur my wife

brightwhiteteeth: aW HELL NAH

kungpaochickending: well qin fen isn’t a good dad so your parents will be yanchen and i

OldManHoeExposer: …

OldManHoeExposer: i’m sorry i need some time away from this

OldManHoeExposer has left Jeffrey’s Support Group

scarredforlife: this is his fault like hell he’s escaping

scarredforlife has added OldManHoeExposer to Jeffrey’s Support Group

OldManHoeExposer: …

ladykiller: let’s all say our prayers for Jeffrey

spinnysuperman: RIP chengcheng’s bed

whostolemyvegetables: gives me an excuse to share with justin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

BobbingBoBo: sorry about that also jeffrey we really are sorry

MotherKnowsBest: chengcheng you pervert also jeffrey please forgive us

scarredforlife: everytime i close my eyes i can hear zhengting screaming ‘Daddy’

scarredforlife: and i can hear mubo moaning ‘do you want more DO YOU WANT MORE’

kungpaochickending: just talk it out

Villageboy: Jeffrey we love you and believe in you tell us your story

scarredforlife: okay, so i had nothing to do, then i realised my egg cooker was missing

scarredforlife: and then i went looking for my egg cooker in chengcheng’s dorm

↷ ↷ ↷

[We need a pay raise]

Jackson has added MCJin, balancedsheep, Ronghao, forthelasttimeimnotbiased and Pinky to We need a pay raise

Jackson: That was some freaky shit

balancedsheep: I swear if this makes me want to delete the chat again

MCJin: I’m scarred for life but POOR JEFFREY IS EVEN MORE SCARRED

Jackson: HE SPENT TWO HOURS STUCK IN A ROOM WITH ZHU ZHENGTING AND HAN MUBO GOING AT IT

Pinky: 0_0 Poor kid

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: YUEHUA zhengting?

MCJin: RIP chengchengs bed as well because those two have no chill and yes yuehua zhengting there is no other one on this show

forthelasttimeimnotbiased: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK

Pinky has renamed forthelasttimeimnotbiased

forthelasttimeimnotbiased is now Biased

Biased: …

Biased: hold on wasn’t han mubo with qin fen???

MCJin: after qin fen hoe exposed them to us??? I wouldn’t think so

Jackson: poor jeffrey be extra gentle with him the kid has fought a war more gruesome than the letter incident

balancedsheep: dear god

Ronghao: Let’s all pray for Jeffrey

↷ ↷ ↷

[Jeffrey’s Support Group]

scarredforlife: that’s how it happened

kungpaochickending: im crying i’m so sorry im so so sorry for you

Coldjokes: I Will Always Remember

ladykiller: lin yanjun you asshole

stopthediscrimination2k18: we are here for you jeffrey

fromthemountains: we love you

Villageboy: we care about you

itsGE: its okay jeffrey

scarredforlife: LIN YANJUN I HATE YOU IF YOU WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH YOU WOULDN’T BE LAUGHING NOW

SuperNongNong: Jeffrey couldn’t sleep last night he was whimpering the whole time

Coldjokes: RIP Jeffrey

OldManHoeExposer: I’m so sorry my dearest daughter everything will be okay soon

SugarBaby: ? mubo is officially WITH zhengting

brightwhiteteeth: xingjie ge is shaking

scarredforlife: why the hell is he shaking he didn’t witness the whole ordeal ;-;

Huba♡: shut up yanchen

imarapper: he’s jealous

Huba♡: what the fuck Linkai

imarapper: what did you call me?

Huba♡: WANG LINKAI

imarapper: FIGHT ME HUBA

Huba♡: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?????????

brightwhiteteeth: brb gonna stop them from killing each other

kungpaochickending: welp

imarapper: come at me huba

Huba♡: come here you lil shit

brightwhiteteeth: i stg you two we have bigger problems than your name xiao gui

imarapper: pls

brightwhiteteeth: just help jeffrey the poor kid has seen things no one should

SuperNongNong: I think jeffrey has remembered things because he’s rocking back and forth in the corner

MotherKnowsBest: Jeffrey I’m so sorry oh my god what did we do mubo

BobbingBoBo: is there a way to wipe a memory from someone’s brain?

scarredforlife: even if you did i’d still remember it because my god was that traumatising

scarredforlife: never have sex ever again

scarredforlife: I think I have PTSD

Chapter Text

scarredforlife: i still haven’t healed

nofoodnolife: it’s ironic we have our performances coming up and our song is ‘I will always remember’

Coldjokes: feel so bad for u jeffrey

MotherKnowsBest: we truly are sorry

scarredforlife: at least i didn’t see the letter otherwise i would have already jumped off the roof of the dorm building

kungpaochickending: jeffrey

smolgiant: you’ll probably be able to perform the song best bc you WILL always remember

MotherKnowsBest: bi wenjun you fucked up person

smolgiant: it’s not my fault you didn’t check the room for surprise visitors

MotherKnowsBest: jeffrey wasn’t even meant to be in there

scarredforlife: all i wanted was my egg cooker

whostolemyvegetables: why would it be in the top bunk?

scarredforlife: i was going to scare whoever came into the room but mubo and zhengting were making out and shit so i just stayed up top in fear

BobbingBoBo: yeah well you should’ve told us

scarredforlife: I WAS GOING TO AND THEN I HEARD MOANING

OldManHoeExposer: stop i don’t wanna know the details

BobbingBoBo: i must say though zhengting is a lot more fun to fuck

OldManHoeExposer: shut up

Huba♡: oh both of you stop it you’re gonna get back together soon

BobbingBoBo: but i don’t have flings

MotherKnowsBest: love u honeybun

SuperNongNong: 0_0

SugarBaby: ew no stop you’re repulsive

MotherKnowsBest: Justin you hypocrite did you really think you and Chengcheng were being quiet???

whostolemyvegetables: shut up

kungpaochickending: thank god i ain’t in your dorm

notabananabanana: lucky u

MotherKnowsBest: I don’t know why everyone is so afraid of mubo and i having sex when you guys have it all the time

scarredforlife: you’re meant to be our parents and I witnessed it all so it makes it worse

itsGE: honestly jeffrey you only heard it you didn’t see it it couldn’t have been that bad

scarredforlife: bet

Villageboy: It must have been terrible

scarredforlife: terrible doesn’t even scratch the surface if I was to go to hell it would be on constant repeat for all eternity as my punishment

fromthemountains: luckily you were saved before further damage could be done

scarredforlife: MC Jin and Jackson are my heroes

imarapper:  yeah they were brave

brightwhiteteeth: okay zeren xiao gui and i are going to your dorm

kungpaochickending: why

smolgiant: why the both of you lol zeren only wants yanchen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

kungpaochickending: shut up wenjun

brightwhiteteeth: xingjie and qin fen actually made us go out unlike zhengting and mubo

kungpaochickending: NO

guiltyhamster: that saves those two from being scarred for life

scarredforlife: if only zhengting and mubo had checked

SuperNongNong: wait xingjie and qin fen??????

haohaosmother: now this is a plot twist if i ever saw one

ladykiller: lol probably trynna get over their heartbreaks lol

stopthediscrimination2k18: huba actually likes zhengting what

mralmostthere: yeah well it’s kinda obvious

haohaosfather: since when how have i missed this what

SugarBaby: well mubo and zhengting have been quiet in this chat for a while so i guess they’re going at it again

scarredforlife: luckily i’m not there i’m currently crying with zibo and feitong

↷ ↷ ↷

[We need a pay raise]

Jackson: so the plan to prank quanzhe was disrupted by qin fen hoe exposing everyone so we need to start actually planning now

balancedsheep: are we bringing in any new trainees or keeping this between us?

MCJin: the only trainee i can trust currently is jeffrey and he didn’t even see the letter

Pinky: poor jeffrey he must be traumatised

Jackson: they have changed their chat to Jeffrey’s Support Group so more than likely

Biased: honestly everything happened because of qin fen

Ronghao: actually quanzhe

MCJin: wasn’t yixing the one who invited qin fen into this group chat

balancedsheep: i’m a soft fluffy innocent lamb

Jackson: you were terrifying for the first half of the show everyone was scared and confused

Jackson: you’ve gone back to being soft and fluffy now but i know you aren’t as innocent as you try to be

balancedsheep: what are you talking about

MCJin: why did i ever become a mentor on this show

Pinky: Anyway! Back to focus! Need to get our revenge on Quanzhe who is the reason why all of this shit happened

Biased: He’s only small and he’s suffered enough

Pinky: …

balancedsheep: …

Ronghao: …

MCJin: ...

Jackson: …

balancedsheep: your username is really accurate

Biased: shut up

Jackson: anyway so how should we prank him

MCJin: he’s in firewalking right

Pinky: yeah

MCJin: put him into I Will Always Remember on the morning of the performances

Jackson: nah he’s a vocal remember

MCJin: he’ll freak out if u put him in Listen to what I say or dream

balancedsheep: everybody hates boom boom boom

Jackson: I don’t

Ronghao: which song then

balancedsheep: boom boom boom seeing as the trainees hate it besides the costumes are horrendous

Pinky: okayyy time for revenge has come

↷ ↷ ↷

[Pranking Quanzhe]

Jackson has added balancedsheep, Pinky, Biased, Ronghao, MCJin, IWantADivorce, notabananabanana, sunshineboy, mralmostthere,Villageboy, SuperNongNong, Coldjokes, littleprince, spinnysuperman, Shakespeare and stopthediscrimination2k18 to Pranking Quanzhe

Jackson: alright hear me out we need to prank quanzhe after that awful letter

SuperNongNong: yes definitely

Shakespeare: but how do you know about it

MCJin: that may be because of me

Jackson: mentors know everything

Pinky: anyway we had an idea

Biased: YOU had an idea not me

spinnysuperman: what sort of revenge/prank

Jackson: we want to ‘switch’ quanzhe with a boom boom boom trainee on the morning of the performance just to see him panic

IWantADivorce: HEY YOU HEY YOU HEY PICK ME EI EI

littleprince: did u eat something funny mother

SuperNongNong: it would make sense to pick yue yue since he already knows firewalking and could sell it off a lot better

balancedsheep: yes detective conong

IWantADivorce: this sounds amazing seeing as I can get back at him for voting me out

Shakespeare: so how is this gonna work

mralmostthere: in the dressing rooms they can give quanzhe the boom boom boom costume and yue yue the firewalking one?

IWantADivorce: it’s the only time it’d work but we’d have to switch back pretty fast if we want to get our makeup done and everything in time

balancedsheep: don’t worry we’ve got this all planned out

notabananabanana: so excited to see him suffer

Coldjokes: he needs to pay

sunshineboy: Everybody is still scarred from it

mralmostthere: so excited

Villageboy: evil plan commence!

Chapter Text

guiltyhamster: WHY NO

kungpaochickending: ??? why are you freaking out

guiltyhamster: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

notabananabanana: why are you yelling it’s like what five am

guiltyhamster: GET OVER TO MY DORM RIGHT NOW

notabananabanana: woahhh calm the fuck down little guy

smolgiant: haha xinchun get over here

guiltyhamster: GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE LETTER 2.0

MotherKnowsBest: good god xinchun GO OVER THERE RIGHT NOW

Villageboy: lolololol

notabananabanana: what did I do to deserve this cruel punishment?

guiltyhamster: I should be asking you that

notabananabanana: you’re not making any sense

guiltyhamster: this doesn’t make any sense

smolgiant: what doesn’t?

Huba♡: QUANZHE! SHUT UP

smolgiant: what is happening??????????

notabananabanana: I’m coming i’m coming

Villageboy: whats going on quanzhe?

guiltyhamster: zibo you come over here as well

Villageboy: ??????

guiltyhamster: letter 2.0 will be coming your way

Villageboy: yikes i’m coming what’s the big deal

guiltyhamster: wHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE THE BOOM BOOM BOOM SHIT???

IWantADivorce: I feel so blessed

guiltyhamster: What?

IWantADivorce: I’m so lucky

guiltyhamster: ??? explain

IWantADivorce: the sweet sight of home

guiltyhamster: i am so confused pls

IWantADivorce: I’m too happy to type anymore bye

guiltyhamster: LING CHAO MU ZIYANG BU FAN EXPLAIN

littleprince: what when how did this happen???

Shakespeare: i feel like you should be smarter than this you have a big head after all

guiltyhamster: SHUT UP ABOUT THAT DAMMIT

SugarBaby: he’s not wrong

whostolemyvegetables: he is very correct

guiltyhamster: I hate the both of you. Petition to put Justin and Chengcheng up for adoption

MotherKnowsBest: as much as i’d like that no

SugarBaby: does he love us?

whostolemyvegetables: I THINK HE DOES

guiltyhamster: SHUT UP ALSO LOU ZIBO WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW

VIllageboy: Geez calm down tell me what’s up

fromthemountains: is there a reason why everybody’s awake at this hour

SugarBaby: it’s when the best things happen

scarredforlife: are you sure they’re the best things?

SugarBaby: oh, oH, OH OKAY THEN

whostolemyvegetables: the letter, zhengting and mubo

OldManHoeExposer: chengcheng don’t remind me of my heartbreak please

SuperNongNong: haven’t you moved on???

BobbingBoBo: yes

Coldjokes: honestly quanzhe i’m trying to sleep

spinnysuperman: the first thing i hear when i wake up is screaming

sunshineboy: honestly why do you need xinchun and zibo?

guiltyhamster: why do I have the boom boom boom shit pls what did I do to deserve this

MotherKnowsBest: …

Coldjokes: it seems like your existence is enough for you to be deserving of this punishment

MotherKnowsBest: for the first time Lin Yanjun has said something that I can actually agree with

Coldjokes: i finally got mothers approval and before justin

SugarBaby: hush

guiltyhamster: wait

guiltyhamster: i have the boom boom boom shit

guiltyhamster: so someone from boom boom boom has taken my place in firewalking?!?!??!

guiltyhamster: YUE YUE IT HAS TO BE YOU YOU BASTARD

littleprince: no wonder he was so happy this morning

IWantADivorce: you deserve it all the pain you’ve caused

Shakespeare: agreed

guiltyhamster: NOOOOOOO I SAID I WAS SORRY WHYYYYYY

DontDivorceMe: well this is what you deserve

SuperNongNong: yeah have fun learning a new song

guiltyhamster: TODAY’S THE PERFORMANCE ZIBO STILL HASN’T ARRIVED AND XINCHUN IS DOING STUFF WITH WENJUN I DON’T KNOW WHAT BUT THEY’RE BOTH UNDER THE COVERS

MotherKnowsBest: CHILDREN CAN YOU ALL STOP BANGING EACH OTHER FOR ONE MINUTE

scarredforlife: says you

MotherKnowsBest: jeffrey it was an accident darling

scarredforlife: pls

MotherKnowsBest: XINCHUN WENJUN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

smolgiant: each other

MotherKnowsBest: THAT’S IT I’M COMING OVER RIGHT NOW

guiltyhamster: WHY AREN’T YOU COMING LOU ZIBO PLS HELP

guiltyhamster: i’m crying why no no no no

guiltyhamster: please

SuperNongNong: good luck bitch

guiltyhamster: woah harsh aren’t you just a kid with bunny ears???

SuperNongNong: I have seen things that I really didn’t want to see. I grew up bitch

guiltyhamster: YOU’RE A CHILD

SuperNongNong: well ur letter cut my childhood short

SuperNongNong: and I’m older than you so why the hell are you such a shit????

guiltyhamster: LOU ZIBO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I BEG YOU PLEASE

stopthediscrimination2k18: i’m so happy no quanzhe in firewalking

guiltyhamster: ;-;-;-;-;-;

Villageboy: hold up i’m going to take a shower

guiltyhamster: NOOO ZIBO PLEASE

guiltyhamster: WHO ELSE IS IN BOOM BOOM BOOM THAT’S NOT XINCHUN OR ZIBO

guiltyhamster: YUE YUE PLS

IWantADivorce: maybe later i’m so tired its too early

guiltyhamster: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Coldjokes: this is hilarious

SugarBaby: btw zhengting’s coming wenjun xinchun

whostolemyvegetables: yeah get ready

SugarBaby: finally some alone time

whostolemyvegetables: yeah babe

MotherKnowsBest: NO DON’T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING I AM DRAGGING XINCHUN BACK ASAP

MotherKnowsBest: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU LOCKED THE DOOR AGAIN

MotherKnowsBest: JUSTIN I THOUGHT YOU WERE PURE OH MY GOD

MotherKnowsBest: XINCHUN I’M GRABBING YOU BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

notabananabanana: no! I won’t let you

BobbingBoBo: every child goes through a rebellious stage, it’s okay hun

scarredforlife: like earlier you cannot say much zhengting

MotherKnowsBest: jeffrey honestly adults lead adult lives

scarredforlife:  yeah but adults don’t do what you did

MotherKnowsBest: we have apologised

BobbingBoBo: jeffrey why couldn’t you have just let it go

scarredforlife: i am scarred for life because of YOU

fromthemountains: yeah he is

SuperNongNong: some nights I hear his pained screams

notabananabanana: LI QUANZHE LOCK THE DOOR

guiltyhamster: WHY DON’T YOU SAY IT TO ME IN REAL LIFE HUH

notabananabanana: STOP I CAN LITERALLY HEAR ZHENGTING’S WRATH

guiltyhamster: WELL THEN TEACH ME BOOM BOOM BOOM

notabananabanana: NO WAY IN HELL

guiltyhamster: fine then

notabananabanana: WHY ARE YOU OPENING THE DOOR

smolgiant: li quanzhe close the fucking door.

guiltyhamster: not unless you teach me boom boom boom

smolgiant: how should I teach you boom boom boom dumbass

guiltyhamster: you’re my only hope

smolgiant: on multiple occasions you have called me a lanky uncoordinated dumbass

smolgiant: and i’m not even in boom boom boom

guiltyhamster: THEN XINCHUN IF YOU DOn’T TEACH ME BOOM BOOM BOOM I WILL DRAG ZHENGTING OVER HERE

notabananabanana: FINE OKAY I WILL LOCK THE DOOR RIGHT NOW OR ELSE

guiltyhamster: deal

MotherKnowsBest: LI QUANZHE I STG

guiltyhamster: a deal is a deal mother

notabananabanana: okay then

MotherKnowsBest: I hate my children

guiltyhamster: let’s get started xinchun

smolgiant: just a little longer

guiltyhamster: ZHENGTING GE COME BACK

notabananabanana: CLOSE THE DOOR I’LL TEACH YOU NOW

MotherKnowsBest: …

kungpaochickending: WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE BUT I CAN HEAR XINCHUN AND WENJUN BELOW ME QUANZHE RUNNING TO AND FROM THE DOOR AND ZHENGTING GE YELLING EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP

kungpaochickending: also someone please tell chengcheng and justin to quieten down a bit

ladykiller: ikr i can hear them from here

mralmostthere: yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it sounds something like this eliminated people ‘OOH EE OOH AH AH CHANG CHANG WALLA WALLA BANG BANG’

Thing1: i don’t want to know what happens in those dorms sometimes i’m glad i escaped

Potato: jeffrey i saw what happened are you okay?????

scarredforlife: No T_T

KunkunsBaby: NO MY PARENTS ARE REMARRIED

sunshineboy: wenjun you can come to my dorm if xinchun is teaching quanzhe ;)

MotherKnowsBest: I CANNOT WIN HERE CAN I

MotherKnowsBest: I take my eye off of them for one minute and they’re all back to fucking each other ;-;

BobbingBoBo: you can come to my dorm babe

MotherKnowsBest: please i need the stress relief

kungpaochickending: have you forgotten about me??? I’m innocent

guiltyhamster: no you’re not i’m the only pure one here

scarredforlife: I’m sleeping in the practice rooms tonight fuck this

fromthemountains: you can sleep in our dorm

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: or in my dorm ziyi doesn’t stay here

haohaosmother: kunkun

haohaosfather: yeah darling

haohaosmother: how do you feel about a romantic night

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: NOT GOOD

OldManHoeExposer: jeffrey?

scarredforlife: NO I WAS THERE WHEN MY MOTHER WAS FUCKING MY STEPMOTHER I DO NOT WANT TO BE THERE WHEN YOU AND XINGJIE START FUCKING

binbin: jeffrey

itsGE: its going to get better someday, i know it will

scarredforlife: no offence rui jie but no

itsGE: what did you call me?

scarredforlife: JIE

scarredforlife has renamed itsGE

itsGE is now Trap

Trap: was that really required

scarredforlife: I’m not wrong

binbin: rui jie you are beautiful

Trap: ITS GE OKAY

Huba♡: well how’s it going quanzhe

smolgiant: lu dinghao aren’t you the cutest thing ever

spinnysuperman: xingjie yanchen xiao gui i’m coming

nofoodnolife: same so am i and yanjun too

Huba♡: what?

Coldjokes: its wenjun and dinghao

kungpaochickending: fuck it i’m coming to your dorm yanchen

kungpaochickending: xinchun is ‘teaching’ quanzhe the boom boom boom dance and its honestly terrifying

smolgiant: xinchun i swear if quanzhe becomes part of this i will hurt you

MotherKnowsBest: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY CHILDREN QUANZHE YOU BETTER STILL BE A VIRGIN BY THE END OF THIS SHOW

smolgiant: yeah foursomes are hard to do

ladykiller: BI WENJUN DID YOU REALLY JUST

nofoodnolife: YOU I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU YOU SEEM SO PURE

smolgiant: I’m stating the truth don’t hate

littleprince: I HAVE NO WORDS FOR YOU

Shakespeare: BI WENJUN WHY

Potato: MY WENJUN-GE

Mark: I THOUGHT YOU KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH

KunkunsBaby: WOW

smolgiant: oh look you’re all back here now  

unwanted: WHO REALLY ARE YOU

everywhereanytime: looks like we came back at the right time fellas

Huba♡: …

OldManHoeExposer: you never cease to disappoint

scarredforlife: DONG YANLEI COMFORT ME

everywhereanytime: what?

scarredforlife: everyone around me is banging and I’m only smol

everywhereanytime: OH SHIT BRO

KunkunsBaby: mate you’ve been through so much

unwanted: i’m so happy it wasn’t me

scarredforlife: look saying you’re glad it wasn’t you is great and all but currently i nEED SUPPORT

KunskunsBaby: yeah yeah alright chill

scarredforlife: how does one be chill in this situation???? NOT EVEN GOOGLE HAS ANSWERS

guiltyhamster: HELP ME XINCHUN’S RUN AWAY WHILE I WAS IN THE BATHROOM

spinnysuperman: SERVES YOU RIGHT

SuperNongNong: here lies Li Quanzhe 2001 - 2018

guiltyhamster: you wouldn’t be laughing if it was you bitch

SuperNongNong: serves you right after that letter

nofoodnolife: ummm

nofoodnolife: right is there a reason why ummm

nofoodnolife: NO

nofoodnolife: I’M LEAVING

nofoodnolife: lu dinghao you are disowned

Coldjokes: ???????

Coldjokes: what’s going on

nofoodnolife: IN THE FUCKING DORM

nofoodnolife: LITERALLY FUCKING

nofoodnolife: NO THREESOMES PLESAE STPO asdasdfghjkl;

nofoodnolife: TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS YANJUN

Coldjokes: O.O

Coldjokes: well

Coldjokes: please stop scarring zhangjing what did he do to deserve this

scarredforlife: YOU ZHANGJING DO YOU FEEL MY PAIN

scarredforlife: ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN

smolgiant: geez calm the fuck down zhangjing

nofoodnolife: I CAN’T WIKIHOW HOW TO BE CALM IN THIS SITUATION PLS

nofoodnolife: YANJUN I’M COMING

SuperNongNong: I swear if you start fucking in the dorm yanjun I will scream

Coldjokes: nongnong pls

SuperNongNong: it’s been known to happen

scarredforlife: yanjun please spare me I don’t deserve this

haohaosmother: IF YOU EVEN THINK OF FUCKING I AM GOING TO YOU KUNKUN

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: DON’T YOU DARE COME I DON’T WANT SIBLINGS

nofoodnolife: YUP YANJUN I’M COMING WAIT FOR ME

guiltyhamster: ZEREN COME BACK

guiltyhamster: DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE

kungpaochickending: yeah no you can suffer

guiltyhamster: SOMEBODY PLEASE TEACH ME THE FUCKING BOOM BOOM BOOM DANCE

haohaosfather: much as i’d like you to come ziyi we can’t scar our child for life

notabananabanana: LI QUANZHE SHUT THE FUCK UP IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT

guiltyhamster has renamed notabananabanana

notabananabanana is now minionfetish

minionfetish has renamed guiltyhamster

guiltyhamster is now idiothamster

idiothamster:

minionfetish: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IDIOTIC IDIOT

idiothamster: LISTEN HUANG XINCHUN

idiothamster: IT WASN’T MY FAULT

minionfetish: LIKE HELL IT WASN’T

smolgiant: you know, that’s kinda true

minionfetish: ?

smolgiant: minion fetish

minionfetish: fuck you

smolgiant: yes please

minionfetish: I’m coming gimme a minute

minionfetish: ALSO IF WE COULD CHANGE OUR OWN USERNAMES WHENEVER WE LIKE THEN I’D CHANGE MINE RIGHT NOW

OldManHoeExposer: if I could change my nickname that would be enough for me

BobbingBoBo: NOBODY TELL HIM

OldManHoeExposer: don’t be a petty bitch

MotherKnowsBest: where would be the fun in telling him?

Huba♡: yeah best he never finds out

OldManHoeExposer: can you excuse me for a moment honey? I need to slap a bitch; by that i mean my ex

MotherKnowsBest: jing peiyao, zuo ye, and the other one i forgot who i feel bad for you

scarredforlife: YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR ME

MotherKnowsBest: FUCKING HELL JEFFREY WE APOLOGISED

scarredforlife: YOU’RE THE WORST STEPMOTHER IN THE WORLD

BobbingBoBo: you’re adopted anyway

scarredforlife: DID YOU REALLY JUST

BobbingBoBo: you’re disowned

scarredforlife: I’M SO HURT HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!

LoveNoLife: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME WHAT SORT OF STEPMOTHER ARE YOU

BobbingBoBo: Zhengting’s a better parent than QF

idiothamster: THAT’s IT HUANG XINCHUN IF YOU DON’T TEACH ME THE BOOM BOOM BOOM DANCE I’M MAKING LETTER 2.0 RIGHT NOW

minionfetish: BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP I WILL SLAP YOU

MotherKnowsBest: quanzhe, honey, if you think about making another letter YOU WILL SUFFER ENDLESS ROUNDS WITH QIN FEN

idiothamster: ANYTHING BUT THAT

OldManHoeExposer: I DON’T WANT YOU EITHER KID

SuperNongNong: back to business

SuperNongNong: welcome back to firewalking yue yue

idiothamster: one cannot fathom the amount of hatred i have for you yue yue

minionfetish: Honestly Quanzhe

minionfetish: Just learn it yourself

idiothamster: I HAVE UNDER A DAY HOW????????

minionfetish: youtube?

idiothamster: ...wtf i can’t

idiothamster: and you fucking idiot youtube is banned in china

minionfetish: just hack

idiothamster: you speak as if I know how -.-

minionfetish: well don’t annoy me

haohaosmother: bro

haohaosmother: calm the fuck down

haohaosfather: just ask the production team

idiothamster: NO PLEASE SOMEONE ANYONE TEACH ME

Villageboy: honestly quanzhe

idiothamster: THIS IS NOT FUNNY LOU ZIBO MY RANK, MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT

haohaosmother: calm down

minionfetish: yeah chill

SuperNongNong: lol

MotherKnowsBest: everybody CHILL

OldManHoeExposer: how about YOU chill

Chapter Text

idiothamster: I’m ruined

OldManHoeExposer: it’s your own fault kiddo

idiothamster: you can say that when you get over the fact that mubo left you because of your hoe exposing ways

OldManHoeExposer: ...I never realised just how much I hate you

scarredforlife: Qin Fen you finally you understand my pain

MotherKnowsBest: JEFFREY WE HAVE APOLOGISED HOW LONG WILL YOU HATE US FOR

scarredforlife: eternity

haohaosmother: at least the kid is honest unlike yours zhengting

SugarBaby: what are you trying to say?

haohaosmother: that is for me to know and you to find out

whostolemyvegetables: it’s been a long time since i’ve come on here HELLO WORLD

whostolemyvegetables: oh look everyone is throwing shade

whostolemyvegetables: i’m not even surprised at this point

SugarBaby has renamed whostolemyvegetables

whostolemyvegetables is now memequeen2018

memequeen2018: I’ve never realised how much i hate you justin

SugarBaby: babe my heart ;-;

memequeen2018: Honestly justin

minionfetish: i’m going to say it nicely: QUANZHE FUCK OFF

MotherKnowsBest: dAMN XINCHUN NO NEED TO BE SALTY AT MY KIDS

minionfetish: I AM YOUR KID WTF

MotherKnowsBest: let me rephrase that. No need to be salty at my important kids

minionfetish: I will beat your ass with a banana

haohaosmother: and over here we have the perfect example of failed parenting

Huba♡: it’s not a parent’s fault that the kids turn out wrong

kungpaochickending: is no one concerned quanzhe is having a midlife crisis

minionfetish: every crisis has the potential to be midlife you don’t know when I’m going to die

kungpaochickending: …mate no one cares about philosophy or whatever it’s called

idiothamster: SOMEONE PleASe I Coudl be lerimnated

SuperNongNong: shouldn’t have made that letter hmmmm

haohaosfather: couldn’t agree more eh you okay son

idiothamster: since when was I your son wtf

haohaosfather: foster father your real parent is a mess

OldManHoeExposer: couldn’t agree more pretty boy

MotherKnowsBest: qin fen get over your loss. I’m better in bed than you ever were

BobbingBoBo: i’m happy without you

scarredforlife: unfortunately I can say that zhengting is right. I have eyewitness proof

nofoodnolife: everybody let’s get some popcorn and watch the drama unfold

SuperNongNong: please you just want an excuse to eat

nofoodnolife: so what? Food is love food is life

Coldjokes: zhaNGJING WHAT ABOUT ME YOU TOLD ME I WAS BETTER THAN FOOD

SuperNongNong: on second thoughts I’ll take a double helping of popcorn

ladykiller: make that a triple helping with extra-extra-extra butter

stopthediscrimination2k18: with some m&ms

SuperNongNong: honestly I could make a drama out of what happens in this chat

fromthemountains: yeah let’s write one lolololol

SuperNongNong: and the script is already written. Jeffrey how much would we have to pay you for a detailed recount of the incident?

scarredforlife: if I get to scar more people bitch I’ll do it for free

scarredforlife: i’ll give a detailed recount for Qin Fen

OldManHoeExposer: YOU WOULDN’T

scarredforlife has renamed OldManHoeExposer

OldManHoeExposer is now InsecureOldMan

InsecureOldMan: true true

InsecureOldMan: but still bitch

BobbingBoBo: sounds about right

scarredforlife has renamed MotherKnowsBest

MotherKnowsBest is now TheOtherWoman

InsecureOldMan: way to ruin it jeffrey

TheOtherWoman: aren’t I the only woman

SugarBaby: this would make such a good family drama

BobbingBoBo: the only one in my eyes and my heart <3

BobbingBoBo: and my bed

SugarBaby: WHAT THE HELL

kungpaochickending: NO

SuperNongNong: join our production team Justin

SuperNongNong: actually no don’t I like having you as a subject in my show

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: my parents will forever be loyal to each other right

haohaosmother: of course

haohaosfather: we love our baby boy

haohaosmother: my baby boy

SugarBaby: my baby girl-irl-irl-irl-irl

haohaosfather: WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT

InsecureOldMan: my hand is hovering over the invite button. I will invite PD he will see this mess

TheOtherWoman: NO DON’T

InsecureOldMan: too late bitch

InsecureOldMan has added balancedsheep to Jeffrey’s Support Group

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: i’m a boy

kungpaochickending: GOD WILL YOU STOP TALKING?!?! I’m BUSY

brightwhiteteeth: OH NO

imarapper: well fuck

balancedsheep: please tell me this is a dream

balancedsheep: NOPE NOPE NOPE IT’S REAL WHAT THE FUUUUCK

balancedsheep: YOU NEED HOLY WATER ALL OF YOU

idiothamster:  PD SAVE ME I’M IN BOOM BoOM BOOM but I cAN’T

balancedsheep: too bad shouldn’t have made that letter

idiothamster: wAIT WHAT HOW DO YOU KNOW

balancedsheep: I’M GOING TO CLEANSE ALL OF YOU

idiothamster: WHY IS NO ONE QUESTIONING THAT ZHANG PD KNOWS ABOUT THE LETTER????????????????????????????????

minionfetish: MY SAVIOUR IS HERE PLEASE STOP QUANZHE FROM ANNOYING ME

balancedsheep: WHAT. THe. ActUAl. FUCkkkkkkkkK

mralmostthere: woah hi PD

littleprince: yeah nice to meet you

balancedsheep: yeah not so nice meeting you lot I am aFRAID. WHAT WOULD MOTHER SUHO THINK?

kungpaochickending: um well if junmyeon hyung was your mother then … INCEST

balancedsheep: nO WHAT THE HELL STOP RUINING MY FAMILY AND INNOCENCE

SugarBaby: well let’s see kaisoo chanbaek xiuchen hunhan taoris

balancedsheep: DON’T YOU DARE BRING THAT UP YOU HIT BELOW THE BELT YOU DIRTY PLAYING CHILD

SugarBaby: we are changing him. Soon he’ll be one of us

balancedsheep: I’M A SOFT FLUFFY SHEEP BUT I AM READY TO KICK YOUR 16-YEAR-OLD ASS

kungpaochickending: justin you done fucked

SugarBaby: I’m rethinking my life choices

SugarBaby: should’ve stayed home and been a stuck up second generation rich kid

balancedsheep: jUSTIN WHERE YOU AT ONE V ONE ME

balancedsheep: FIGHT ME

SugarBaby: yeah no I’m out

SugarBaby: SHIT SHIT SHIT THE DOOR IS OPENING PD I’M SORRY

balancedsheep: not even god can save you now kid

idiothamster: that line sounds familiar JUSTIN SUFFER NOW WHAT I SUFFERED

InsecureOldMan: YES JUSTIN SUFFER

memequeen2018: hold up we goin a little fast PD if you don’t murder Justin i’ll get you my sister’s autograph

balancedsheep: that autograph is not worth as much as justin’s head mounted on my wall

nofoodnolife: Now THAT’S A SIGN OF TRUE LOVE

nofoodnolife: wait no NOT THAT

nofoodnolife: DON’T MOUNT PEOPLE’S HEADS ON WALLS

Coldjokes: oh honey i can mount your head up on my wall to show you how much i love you <3

balancedsheep: dear god

nofoodnolife: LU DINGHAO SAVE ME

minionfetish: he’s a little busy right now hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

smolgiant: ;)

sunshineboy: got better things to do

balancedsheep: QIN FEN WASN’T WRONG WHEN HE SAID ALL OF YOU WERE FUCKING EACHOTHER

stoptherdiscrimination2k18: hey lou zibo has been quiet for a while should we be worried

Villageboy: SOmeone TEll QUanzhe TO STOP SPAMMING ME I DON’T WANT TO SEE

InsecureOldMan: SOMEONE GET A RESPONSIBLE ADULT PD HAS FALLEN TOO FAR HE IS ONE OF US NOW

memequeen2018: PD’s younger than you

SugarBaby: there have been many casualties in this war. Zhang PD has fallen today as our most recent may we forever mourn the loss.

InsecureOldMan: times like this calls for ouR MC JIN AND Li Ronghao

balancedsheep: bOI DON’T EVEN TRY GET THEM INVOLVED JUSTIN IS GOING DOWN

SugarBaby: QIN FEN PLEASE JUST GET ONE OF THEM

scarredforlife: for once i agree with you

IWantADivorce: you’ve been talking for a long time only a few hours til the performance yasss

DontDivorceMe: you’re going to slay firewalking

IWantADivorce: DON’T THINK THAT BEING NICE WILL MAKE ME TAKE YOU BACK

balancedsheep: where is your god now justin

BobbingBoBo: listen PD violence IS NOT THE ANSWER I WILL REPORT YOU FOR ABUSING MY STEPSON

InsecureOldMan: my heart you ruthless killer i hate you so much

Huba♡: it’s okay don’t think about the past focus on the present

Huba♡: you can have yanchen and xiao gui

imarapper: tbh doesn’t feel right

brightwhiteteeth: agree yeah but at least qf’s better than having zzt

SugarBaby: CAN SOMEONE GET A RESPONSIBLE ADULT LITERALLY ANYONE I AM IN FEAR FOR MY LIFE PD IS COMING FOR ME

imarapper: how

imarapper: oh wait yeah if zzt was our stepmother you’d be fucking your stepbrother

brightwhiteteeth: WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP WTF

balancedsheep: JEFFREY I ADMIRE YOU

balancedsheep: ZHENGTING AND MUBO I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE DISGUSTED IN MY LIFE

balancedsheep: SO THIS IS WHAT YOU ALL DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME

balancedsheep: SCREW EACH OTHER

SugarBaby: pretty much

fromthemountains: PD i’m one of the only pure people left

Villageboy: me too

idiothamster:  moi aussi

imarapper: me

ladykiller: me

stopthediscrimination2k18: me as well

mralmostthere: me

littleprince: don’t forget me <3

Shakespeare: meeeee

balancedsheep: I swear Nongnong you better be pure because otherwise you just ruined my whole life

SuperNongNong: I’M A GOOD CHILD I AM PURE

spinnysuperman: i’m always forgotten BUT I AM AN INNOCENT HUMAN BEING

balancedsheep: I need to protect feitong, zibo, xiao gui, li xikan, yu mingjun, lou zheng, ling chao, mu ziyang nongnong and chaoze

balancedsheep: what would suho do

balancedsheep: i must rise up and become mother

balancedsheep: i wILL PROTECT MY BABY CHICKS AND MAKE MOTHER PROUD

balancedsheep: NO

balancedsheep: my baby lambs

idiothamster: don’t i need protecting

balancedsheep: you need a beating a spanking

SugarBaby: daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

balancedsheep: i stg

balancedsheep: even sehun is more mature than you

balancedsheep: wait

littleprince: someone please save ziyang and i think our parents are

Shakespeare: it’s a complicated love story PD

scarredforlife: I REGRET COMING ON THIS SHOW

balancedsheep: so do I kid, so do I

SugarBaby: we need MC Jin

balancedsheep: where are you justin because I am ready to cut your head off

SugarBaby has added MCJin to Jeffrey’s Support Group

SugarBaby: MC JIN HELP PLEASE

MCJin: YIXING THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT OH MY GOD I SHOULD GET JACKSON TO TELL YOUR MOTHER

balancedsheep: no no no no no no no no no no why does he have suho’s contact??

MCJin: he knows everyone why are you even surprised at this point?

MCJin: wait a moment

MCJin: i heard about something called ‘sulay’

SugarBaby: MC JIN UNLESS YOU WANT DEATH DO NOT EVEN START

balancedsheep: i trusted you

TheOtherWoman: good god you’re even worse than chengcheng and justin

SugarBaby: MOTHER

memequeen2018: HOW COULD YOU

balancedsheep: i feel bETRAYED

SugarBaby: MC Jin can you please control PD

balancedsheep: I CAN’T DO THIS YOU HAVE ALL RUINED ME RUINED ME DO YOU HEAR

Chapter Text

SugarBaby: g’day y’all

balancedsheep: GOOD GRIEF IT’S LIKE 3PM

TheOtherWoman: I stg justin

idiothamster: HELP ME

IWantADivorce: nah mate

littleprince: YOU DESERVE IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA

Shakespeare: good luck in boom boom boom

Villageboy: quanzhe has been bothering me for twelve hours now SOMEONE SAVE ME AND HELP HIM

Villageboy: PLEASE PD END MY SUFFERING

Trap: yikes i just woke up wtf is happening

binbin: all i hear is desperation

Trap: I don’t care about quanzhe I mean that PD is in the chat

idiothamster: I can feel all the love ;-;

ladykiller: my head hurts

stopthediscrimination2k18: quanzhe shut the fuck up

mralmostthere: come join us in boom boom boom happily

idiothamster: yOU CAN PRY MY PLACE IN FIREWALKING OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS I WILL NEVER JOIN BOOM BOOM BOOM

IWantADivorce: too late for that bitch

idiothamster: fight me old man

memequeen2018: i feel like us yuehua kids try to initiate fights a lot. I feel that zhengting didn’t raise us right

SugarBaby: someone else take quanzhe

kungpaochickending: yuehua ot6

idiothamster: BETRAYED

smolgiant: eh we can live without you

TheOtherWoman: honestly I’d like to sell three of my kids

sunshineboy: How high are you guys

SugarBaby: 181cm

memequeen2018: as high as zhang pd

balancedsheep: is that a compliment or an insult

memequeen2018: i forget you’re in this chat now

kungpaochickending: can everyone just shut up

kungpaochickending: i’m going to add jackson to the chat if you don’t

MCJin: this show is a mess

memequeen2018: welcome to my world

TheOtherWoman: please be a responsible adult MC Jin you’re all we have

MCJin: no one can control you lot what is the point in being responsible?

MCJin: honestly after that letter and qin fen who I thought was the responsible adult out of you kids I don’t think I can maintain sanity

kungpaochickending: oH GOD WE’RE LOSING HIM WE’RE LOSING HIM MC JIN PLEASE DON’T FALL INTO THE CLUTCHES OF MADNESS

InsecureOldMan: MUBO PLEASE I NEED YOU BACK I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

BobbingBoBo: ...yeah no

TheOtherWoman: he’s perfectly fine without you

Huba♡: fix your relationship

BobbingBoBo: why there is no point

InsecureOldMan: I LOVE YOU HAN MUBO

BobbingBoBo: i love me too

Huba♡: you’ve already caused the casualty of Jeffrey don’t you think it’s time you and qin fen got back together

Huba♡: seriously

imarapper: oh please don’t think no one heard you crying for zhengting the other night

brightwhiteteeth: “ZHENGTING oh my sweet ZHENGTING MUAH MUAH”

Huba♡: I TRUSTED YOU

SugarBaby: excuse me what

SugarBaby: HUBA AND ZHENGTING??????

imarapper: WAH WAH WAH

brightwhiteteeth: RUN XIAO GUI

memequeen2018: Idol Producer 2: THE LOVE SQUARE THAT NO ONE SAW COMING

SuperNongNong: perfect for my upcoming TV drama based on this stupid fucking chatroom

balancedsheep: did nongnong just swear????? WHAT HAS THIS SHOW DONE TO HIM

MCJin: WHAT THE ACTUAL DUCK

balancedsheep: “duck”

‘

MCJin: let’s keep it all nice and innocent okay? Let’s keep it PG

scarredforlife: PG? PG? TELL THAT TO ZHENGTING AND MUBO

BobbingBoBo: JEFFREY DONG I SWEAR TO GOD

TheOtherWoman: CHILD WE HAVE APOLOGISED OH MY GOD

ladykiller: let’s save ourselves from this mess

stopthediscrimination2k18: yeah

mralmostthere: here at mavericks we pride ourselves in our innocence

SugarBaby: don’t slutshame

SuperNongNong: be like me

SuperNongNong: survival of the strongest

SuperNongNong: toughen up

balancedsheep: I swear nongnong is the most mature out of you lot

fromthemountains: *ahem*

balancedsheep: you’re okay I guess

balancedsheep: but nongnong has seen some dark things and you aren’t very involved in the troubled jeffrey’s existence

fromthemountains: my heart but hey at least I don’t fuck my siblings

balancedsheep: ah yes because not fucking your siblings is how we measure maturity these days

SugarBaby: pd can you really say that though?

balancedsheep: FOR THE LAST TIME JUSTIN I DON’T FUCK MY SIBLINGS WTH

SugarBaby: yeah you fuck your mother

balancedsheep: the threat of mounting your head on the wall still stands

Villageboy: i’m a pure soul

imarapper: hey yeah me too

mralmostthere: Mavericks people are pure souls

Shakespeare: Ling Chao and I are innocent

IWantADivorce: kids

DontDivorceMe: be more mature

myauntistryingtoabductme:(: everybody always forgets me :(

haohaosmother: we love you kid

haohaosfather: yeah we do

SuperNongNong: petition to start the PTIOQZHS or Protect The Innocence of Qian Zhenghao Squad

balancedsheep: SIGNED HE IS THE LAST TRULY PURE SOUL

fromthemountains: signed

Villageboy: signed

mralmostthere: signed

ladykiller: signed

haohaosmother: signed for both xukun and i

stopthediscrimination2k18: signed

littleprince: SIGNED

Shakespeare: definitely signed

MCJin: signed

anytimeeverywhere: SIGNED MY DUDES

InsecureOldMan: how are you always here

Potato: hey i’m back

Mark: me too

Potato: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Potato: oh hello PD

Potato: nice to see you here

Potato: WAIT WHAT

MCJin: yoyoyoyo Bangbang

MCJin: shuhao

minionfetish: hey guys

MCJin: lmao wtf

balancedsheep: what is that username

smolgiant: it’s true though

sunshineboy: it is the truth

SugarBaby: the fact that you actually amuse his minion fetish still disgusts me

Trap: honestly don’t judge us

binbin: YUP

balancedsheep: Oh my god is this the famous threesome

MCJin: YOU SHOULD BE PURE

MCJin: lu dinghao

MCJin: WHY

balancedsheep: YOU’RE THE OLDEST AREN’T YOU?!?!?!?! In the threesome

SuperNongNong: and in a dramatic turn of events lu dinghao turns out to be the oldest now THIS is quality content

Coldjokes: it’s honestly disturbing how someone with THAT FACE is such a dirty perv

SugarBaby: well you zhangjing has a big mouth

nofoodnolife: WATCH YOUR WORDS YOU IMBECILE

nofoodnolife: I AM NOT AFRAID TO KICK YOU TO NEXT WEEK YOU ELONGATED BEAN

Coldjokes: calm down babe

balancedsheep: GOD

MCJin: you all bang each other in your spare time

kungpaochickending: is no one concerned about how quanzhe is banging his giant head against the wall

IWantADivorce: sweet, sweet revenge

SugarBaby: I thought that banging was something else knowing what we’re like

DontDivorceMe: please come back to me my love

IWantADivorce: nah I still want a divorce

littleprince: auntie zhengting

BobbingBoBo: my poor child

Villageboy: HELP ME QUANZHE IS CHASING ME AROUND THE BUILDINGASDFGHKJL:

fromthemountains: GOOD GRIEF

balancedsheep: YOU GUYS ARE GIVING ME A HEADACHE LET’S JUST COME CLEAN MY GOD

IWantADivorce: ;-;

MCJin: honestly kids why do you fuck all the time

memequeen2018: someone help me HUANG XINCHUN HAS LOCKED THE DOOR OF OUR DORM AND ZEREN HAS LOCKED THE DOOR OF HIS DORM

brightwhiteteeth: …

memequeen2018: OH HELL NO