Chapter Text
This was the second time this week, eleventh time this month, and just about two thousandth fucking time since the beginning of Fantasy Costco.
“Why, this Amulet of Magnitude is easily worth thousands of GP! Where did you find something like this?” Garfield the Deals Warlock exclaimed, running his paws over the chain and testing a lick of the jewel. It didn’t taste exotic but, boy, did it taste expensive.
“Oh, uhhh, y'know, down at the Gachapon. Wasted a whole damn token getting it,” The customer responded, leaning easily over the counter and fiddling with pens that sit untouched in a cup. Her nose twitched, then her fingers, eyeing the amulet still hanging from Garfield’s grip, “Doesn’t even fit my class. That gnome’s a scam, I’m tellin’ ya’.”
“Gachapon? Gnome?” Garfield paused, twisting and turning the words like putty on his tongue, tapping his chin with one clawed finger, “Mhmm.”
“Yeah, never been? Everyone on base knows of it,” The customer blinked down at the cat, her mouth scrunching up to the side in surprise, “Honestly? Would’ve expected you two to already know each other.”
“Well, kind customer, I’ll keep that in mind. More importantly...why, this Amulet’s racked up to exactly 2500 GP!” The sentence was punctuated with the noise of the cash register popping open, “You can either get cashback or trade it in for something of equal or lesser value.”
“Didn’t level up for nothin’, I guess. I’ll trade it in for, uhh…” The customer scanned the wares surrounding her, fiddling with her belt, “I’ll take the Feral Eye, Confectioner’s Cane, and, uhhh….a CD of the Fantasy Costco theme.”
“Mmmm, great purchases, great purchases indeed!” Garfield hummed approvingly with a sly grin as he retrieved all the items she named off, “Will that be all?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” The customer shrugged and took her new items, immediately shoving them in her rucksack, “Thank you so much! For...not selling shitty stuff...I guess.”
“It’s my pleasure, truly,” Garfield grinned an impossibly wide grin and waved as she left.
Once the bell over the door settled, his eyes naturally found the Amulet. Restless, potent power caged in a talisman and just waiting to be used. A good find, a good deal; Garfield was sure of it.
Still, he didn't dwell on it too long. He brushed the Amulet aside and killed time by sweeping the floor and re-organizing the shelves of his beloved store.
It wasn’t until after he flipped the sign on the door and started checking inventory that he remembered the conversation he had earlier.
Gachapon...He had no clue where that would be on-base, but it wouldn’t be too hard to ask. Avi usually popped in during his morning break to grab some of the more comestible wares, surely the pilot would know.
And, thankfully, he did. Instead of the silent exchange like usual, the following morning Avi was relaying directions to Garf, who was quickly scribbling all of it down on the bottom of his receipt -- “Keep it, seriously. You need it more than I do.”
That was how Garfield found himself standing in front of a stout, rustic door.
He pressed a sure paw against it, a scarce amount of force necessary for it to give. With a loud creak, he was then presented with a spacious room, far larger than Garfield would have expected. The capsules in the large machine in the back of the room were the first thing to catch his eye until his attention dropped to the tome sitting upon a mahogany desk.
Those were about the only points of interest, as the room was disappointingly empty.
Then, a loud bang resonated throughout the area when the book was suddenly slammed shut. A small gnome who had apparently been sitting behind the book finally made himself known, rising to his feet. His expression perked at the sight of Garfield.
A long, white beard dragged against the floor as the gnome came around the desk and strode forward a few steps, his hands politely clasped behind his back.
“Welcome!” He greeted warmly, his voice dripping with a distinguished undertone, “Come on in, my name is Leon. Welcome to my chambers -- my little slice of the moon, if you will.”
Leon chuckled lightly, and Garfield immediately fell in love.
“Why, don’t mind if I do,” Garfield purred out, making himself at home by bypassing Leon all together and slinging himself across the desk. Leon visibly faltered, eyes darting to Garfield’s flicking tail and back at the deal warlock’s mischievous eyes, but if he was suspicious of anything, he didn’t show it, choosing to just wipe the uncertainty from his expression and continue on as if nothing was odd.
“I’m assuming you have some tokens?” Leon stood near the doorway, a respectful amount of distance between them.
“Actually, no! Tokens, you say? What is that, a reward system? Business tactic to reel customers in?” Garfield placed his chin in his paw, delighting in Leon’s caught-off-guard expression.
“No, actually, I don’t fiscally benefit from….any….of...this -- Might I ask who you are?” The visible struggle Leon went through to keep his professional air about him only served to encourage Garfield’s smirk.
“Garfield. You know, the Deals Warlock? Fantasy Costco? That whole schteez bottom-side of the moon? You should reeeeally check it out sometime.”
“I’m sorry, what reason are you here for? Business matters? Intimidation? Because if there isn’t a transaction to be made, I really must be continuing my notes,” Leon gestured at the desk Garfield was lounging on.
Garfield snatched up one of the loose sheets of paper on the desk and stretched a leg out, knocking an ink vial onto the floor in a way that couldn’t be deciphered as intentional or oblivious to someone as unfamiliar with Garfield's dealings as Leon.
“Hmmm, ‘seraphic ichor’? I think I got someone pawning this off just the other month actually. That bad boy sold like hot cakes,” Garfield dropped the paper back down, watching Leon scramble to try and clean up the ink splattered on his carpet, “Actually, Leo -- can I call you Leo?”
“I would really rather you not.”
“Leo, I’m actually just visiting to thank you.”
“Thank me? Why in the plane’s name would you thank me?” Leon grumbled distractedly, caught up in scrubbing furiously at the stain. He startled when Garfield’s tail flicked him in the face, pausing to take a deep breath in and quietly count numbers under his breath.
“Why, because your Gachapon is my customers’ main source of disappointment, of course!” Garfield responded cheerily, now turning his attention to greedily paw his way through more sheets of paper -- diagrams of weapons, descriptions of potions, sketches of accessories. All of it just made his mouth water, and he eyed the capsules in the Gachapon again, “That thing in the back, right?”
“Excuse me? Honestly, sir, if this is an attempt at intimidation, I should--”
“Don’t take it too personally, man. You get your tokens, I get goods to sell back to other customers, everyone’s happy! Isn’t that right, Leo? We don’t want to disturb the balance, do we?” Garfield stacked all the papers together and neatly placed them in the corner of the desk, a new professional air about them, “After all, this is the Bureau of Balance .”
When Leon didn’t respond, Garfield lazily turned his head to meet eyes with Leon. The gnome was studying him intensely, his expression belying his disgust as he insisted on continuing to speak with that stupid fake-professional voice, “Mr. Deals Warlock, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“I beg your pardon?” Garfield’s eyebrows immediately climbed up his forehead. A small smirk was all it took to get across the point that Garfield’s really still the one in control of the situation.
“If you don’t have a transaction to make, and you choose to continue to…” Leon gestured vaguely towards Garfield, “to loiter, I will personally have you escorted back to your...Fantasy Costco and measures will be made to make sure you can’t come back,” Leon shook his head slightly, finally turning his attention back to the stain. This time, however, he just studied it for a second before sighing, shaking his head, and rising to his feet while brushing himself off.
Garfield hopped off the desk and crossed the room.
“Alright, alright, I’ll go. But just remember, Leo: Your loss is my gain, so keep doing you’re doing,” With a grin that just could not be wiped off his face even if he tried, Garfield paused in the doorway and sent a wink over his shoulder before disappearing with a swish of his cloak.