Chapter Text
All You Should Know About Vampires
By WW
(Edited by RG)
Vs
- = vampires
- Evil
- Kill them
- How: silver, sharpened wood, sunlight.
While some of this is true, I wouldn’t agree to killing our own kind, if only for necessitation. You must know that not all of us are ‘evil’, though we possess demonic blood in our systems. Yes, it is the blood from demons originating from Hell that sustain our eternal life. The unholy biologies hungers. We must feed it with fresh bloodshed. Humans are excellent sources of replenishment though any blood from a living being may suffice, however we are stronger when we drink human blood. The longer we wait between feeds, the weaker we become and the more likely we are to perish.
Your vampire hunter listed ways to kill us, which are ways to both weaken and eliminate us, depending on the severity of the application. I would suggest that, if you did want to permanently extinguish the life of a vampire, you should starve him first. You should cut off his fresh blood supply, torture him with silver in any which way, and then you have a choice. You could pierce a sharpened stake through his heart as the hunters believe is effective (it is not). Or you could leave him to be exposed to the dazzling brilliance of the break of dawn.
Yes, it’s the heat of the sun that is our greatest weakness. Though I see that your vampire hunter has not noted fire as a weakness in and of itself. Understand that we are not weak to fire of low intensities, but rather extremes. The kind of fires that rise to thousands of degrees, the fires that wipe out forests and cities. Trap a vampire in the core of that heat and you’ll never find a trace of them again.
UVs
- = ultra vampires
- Worse
- Kill them
- How: silver, sharpened wood, sunlight
- Then: separate remains. Freezing is best
How truly fascinating! Is this truly how the vampire hunters have been attempting to eliminate our original demons? I wonder where they might be freezing their severed pieces, I might try to resurrect my friends!
Now, as you might suspect, this is not how you kill a ‘UV’, as they say. Yes, they are ‘worse’ in every way. They have the power to transmute human biologies to that of a vampire. They can manipulate one’s mind, even those of vampires who have been released from their masters. And they can control and summon the vampires that they have turned across infinite distances and timescales. Beyond control over others, they are particularly hardy. They can regenerate much faster than regular vampires such that cutting off their head or burning them or even blasting full sunlight on them has very little effect on them. They can last for centuries without drinking a drop of human blood, and not be weakened for it. Their power is insurmountable, hence, the original demonic bloodline is near impossible to both attain and extinguish except for the most determined.
The way to become one is quite well regarded a secret amongst both vampire and hunter circles. There have been theories for as long as we have existed. Many vampires have tried to do what they think should be done, and failed. Many more humans have tried, and failed before even getting close. Today I have told you just how to achieve it, and I will tell you here now in particular detail, so that you might protect yourself in the future, which I do hope you will.
The only way I have seen to be proven successful is for a pure human vessel to trick an original demon. Warm to his particular desires and lure him to a pre-prepared location. It can be done with the aid of a vampire but the vampire himself cannot be the one to perform the last act, lest he be torn apart from the inside out. I’ll elaborate on this point further on.
Once you have lured the original demon in place, you must paralyse him with his trust in you. Seduce him with his interests or his sexual desires, however it works, it must be done seductively. He must not suspect you, he must not sense the lie within you. He’ll know if you’re lying, most definitely. Once in place, you must escape from the space, lock it down and initiate the heating process. I have set it up in the room that I have painstakingly developed over the last several months. The heat will rise exponentially, to unbearable temperatures which should not reach you if my technicians have done their jobs effectively.
And why heat, you may wonder? When the air becomes hot enough, birds drop out of the sky. When the room becomes artificially hot enough, hotter than hell, his body will not explode, but melt. The vampiric biologies will separate from the human flesh and I have instructed a pan to be installed underneath grates into which The Devil’s essence will be caught. Liquid nitrogen will then expunge the heat of the blood and cool it to 98.6°F. Simultaneously, the heat of the room will be drawn out so that you may enter.
All of this will take mere seconds. As soon as the liquid nitrogen cooling begins, you must enter the room. You must grasp the catcher and you must down every last drop of the blood. Do not think about it. Just do it. If delayed, the blood will respond to the cooling air and begin to retract to the human body and regenerate. If he is able to do so, my son will have the cognitive recognition to understand what is occuring, and will try to escape. But if done correctly, you will have consumed the Devil’s blood and you will feel your body begin to change.
Remember, you will begin to feel all of the connections to other vampires in the world. You must be strong and not let go of any of these connections. It will feel as if you can hear their thoughts, as if they are speaking to you, reporting to you, begging you to help them. You must quieten those sounds, but not block them out. You must ignore them, but not neglect them. If you allow yourself to severe these connections, every vampire and person who Varga has ever manipulated would gain free will and no longer play the roles that they are meant to carry out.
Now I’d like to create some accurate information for the vampires your hunter listed. Perhaps if you locate a hunter library, you may recognise some passages word for word, as I have written many a book on vampires in my long history, and sold them to hunters for a price and for fun. Well, then, let me tell you about Lorne Malvo.
He is quite unusual, I must say. A modern vampire, quite new, a century or so. For some time all that I knew of him was that he was a lone wolf. Now, after some time of studying him and collecting information on him, as I do with all of the ‘UVs’ I know to exist, I have found him to be most interesting. He does not amass a following of vampires, and his kills are often untraceable as they are committed in such a way that they are deemed as acted by a human. Curiously, he often does not drain the blood of the humans whatsoever. But what’s most unusual is that Malvo assumes a human identity and plays it out until his character expires its use. Usually he allows himself to be ‘killed’, as a human would die, then he resurrects himself with the help of a newly made vampire. This aid is then delivered the true death before Malvo moves onto his next role.
Quite savage, no? I have discovered some instances in which Malvo, in the past, may acquire a human accomplice to join him, lured with the promise of eternal life or riches or some other divine offering, but such promises are rarely fulfilled. Rarely, but done on the occasion. A truly interesting character. More often than not, however, Malvo takes this human as a toy for his next role. If not, he goes alone to continue his playful cycle of messing with people’s lives, killing them with human methods, and disappearing. Malvo is, by all definitions, America’s most insidious and most wanted serial killer.
And a brief on my son, because he is more than one with ‘strong political connections’, though I shall write in the past tense in strong hope that you succeed in your task. I birthed him at thirteen, my only child. I loved him, as much as I could, but he betrayed me greatly when he usurped my plan to succeed as a demon. Instead, he was born out of the bloodshed caused by Genghis Khan. You see, I had laid out a plan to take control of Khan’s greatest general, but my son poisoned me nearly to death and took my place.
Always an admirer of genocide, my son. A great admirer of Stalin, too. He has a unique determination to not merely kill for fun, but to harvest. He likes security, likes to know of his longevity and then forget about it entirely, to live as carelessly as a human. To eat and fornicate and perhaps die, as a human, would be his prerogative. And yet all of this killing and he tends to not kill his victims. Tends to let them live as if life is a gift. And then he takes from them what he needs or wants or doesn’t care for in the slightest but that he can take it, attracts him. I only wish I had not been so blind to this trait.
Well, my dear, I could go on for volumes and volumes about the history of my son, but I shall end it here. Please do come to me if you have any other questions. I’m happy to answer them while you prepare for your esteemed mission.