Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

September 21st, 2018

Gamora stood in the empty shell of the room that was to become her dorm.  The girl she was supposed to be sharing it with had yet to arrive, and she had zero idea what she was going to do with herself while she waited for her new roomie.  Her gaze fell to the battered exterior of the blue iPod shuffle she had placed atop one of her boxes, the tangled mess of bright orange ear buds tumbling down the edge of the cardboard.  Reaching out to grab the music player, she observed the chipped surface more carefully.  It was worn, with time and use and love, not carelessness.  A fond smile fought its way onto her features, and she put in the earbuds, pressing the play button.

“Hey Uptown Girl.  If you’re listening to this it means that you miss me, which, I don’t blame you, y’know.  I’m a pretty great person.  Also you love me.  Anyways, I made this playlist especially for you.  It’s the same songs that my mom had on here, with a bit of commentary from yours truly.  I hope you like it because it took me and Rocket about three hours to put this thing together, mostly because I kept messing up and the fact that he didn’t actually want to be here.  So here’s the first song for ya.  By the way, this song may seem a bit random at the moment but I swear on Rocket’s future—HEY!— that it will make sense at a later time.”  Gamora choked on a laugh, partly because Quill was an idiot, and partly because she truly did miss said idiot.  The first notes to September by Earth, Wind & Fire rang out into her ears and she wondered how on earth this song would somehow become more relevant as the recording continued.

“This next song is so you never forget that you’re my Uptown Girl.  Which, by the way, you are. Don’t even try to deny it.”  This time, Gamora let out a derisive snort, recounting the night she had been dubbed that exact name.  She found herself humming to the upbeat tune as she began sifting through the boxes of her belongings.

Peter seemed to stumble back onto the recording as the song ended, “A fantastic song, really.  And speaking of fantastic songs, the next one is How Deep is Your Love by the Bee Gees.  Not to be confused with How Deep is Your Love by Calvin Harris.  I actually have something heartfelt to say about this one.”  He cleared his throat, “I know being separated is gonna be difficult.  Believe me when I say that I’m going to miss seeing your annoyed face every time I make a stupid joke.  But I guess it’s one of those challenges that’ll help us grow.  I love you, Gamora.  Forever.  But will you still love me through all this distance and for all the time that we won’t see each other?  I’m not doubting you, I think at this point I’m just doubting myself.”  Gamora paused halfway between unpacking a box full of books, collecting her reeling thoughts from the huge confession that had just come from the tiny music player.  She wanted for all the world just to wrap her arms around him and assure him that she loved him no matter what.  After the text she had sent earlier in the morning, there was no going back anyways.  She hadn’t even noticed that the song had begun until the soft echoes of “how deep is your love” resonated in her ears.  

The next piece of Peter Quill’s input was short and sweet: “I always enjoyed dancing to this song.  I think you would too.”  The bouncy tune of Take on Me by a-ha startled her enough to make her jump, contrasting greatly with the mellow tones of the previous song.

“You probably already knew this, but I’ve loved you for a while.  Some would say it started 3 years ago, but I honestly think that I was made for this.”  Gamora was mildly impressed at how smooth the transitions between song and commentary were getting.  She was also impressed at  how absolutely corny Peter could be when he wanted to be.  She made a mental note to mention this fact the next time she spoke to him.  “But most of that time was spent admiring you from a distance and wishing for something to be.  I fancied the thought of us being together, but I never dared dream that it would actually happen.  And now it has, and I still can’t believe it.”  The recording launched into the unmistakable tune of Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond as Gamora went to type in a quick text message:

You’re honestly the worst.

It only took a couple seconds for the reply to come back.

If by worst you mean best then you are absolutely right.

She stared at her phone for a few moments before another message came through.

You’re listening to the iPod aren’t you?

The pure him-ness of his text messages sent a spear of longing through her chest and she fought back the urge to call him, which would undoubtedly make her miss him more.  She tapped out a another text:

It’s so cheesy it hurts.

His response came in a heartbeat.

But you love it.

She was aware of the fact that she was grinning like an idiot at this point

I do, but now I want to simultaneously punch and kiss you.

Gamora could sense the sarcasm in his next text.

That’s an odd way to respond to affection.

She breathed out a laugh and typed a quick response

I know.

Sighing, she turned off her phone, tossing it onto one of the cushions she had unpacked a few minutes earlier.  Once again, Peter’s voice had taken over the recording.  

“I might have lied to you about this next song.”  That was as good of a way as any to get somebody’s attention, “When you asked why I was listening to Careless Whisper on the way up to Knowhere I told you that I had no idea why my mom liked this song.  That’s false.  I know full well why she liked it.  Because I like it.  Because its freaking epic.”  Gamora once again concluded that he was completely ridiculous as the smooth sound of the saxophone blared through her earbuds.  The song had just the kind of melodrama that seemed to ooze from Peter, she realized, humming along despite herself.  

The next part of the recording started just as she began to stuff her unpacked clothes into the small dresser that stood in the corner of the room.  “Remember that few months where we didn’t talk at all and basically ignored each other?”  Gamora started, her hands fumbling with the neatly folded t-shirt she had been holding in her hand.  Of course she remembered.  It was miserable.  Peter continued, “Well, that was horrible, so let’s never do that again.  But anyways, I was so convinced that you would hate me after what happened and that you were better off without me that I spent most of my time sulking.  And I don’t know if this is an accomplishment or not but I’m pretty sure that I broke the world record for listening to this song on repeat.  Rocket was pretty pissed off at me by that second week.”  And just like that, the opening to Total Eclipse of the Heart came on to the recording.  Once again, melodrama.  But this was something that Gamora felt in her own heart.  Those weeks of not talking to Peter turned her into a heartbroken mess.  A mess that was made worse with the knowledge that it was all her fault.  She blinked away the tears that had suddenly clouded her vision.  Although it had been months ago, the pain was still fresh in her mind, and she really didn’t want to relive it more than she had to.

“Even though the lyrics may be a little bit creepy and stalkerish, actually a lot bit, you can’t deny that this next one is a great song.  So just know that I’ll be watching over you Uptown Girl, and even though I’m more than half-way across the country, don’t think that I won’t be on the next flight out to you if you need me.”  Gamora smiled softly at these words as Every Breath You Take by the Police filtered into her ears.  I suppose this college thing won’t be too bad, she thought as a weight she hadn’t realized she had been carrying was lifted off her shoulders.  

As the song ended, there was a distinct clearing of the throat on the recording that Gamora knew was not Peter, “Hey, Caltech.”  Rocket had taken to calling Gamora “Caltech” after learning that she was going to be attending the prestigious school in the fall, “Peter had to take a phone call from the coach from Mississippi so I’m gonna take over for this one.”  There was the sound of paper shuffling and mumbled words in the background before Rocket spoke again, “So for this song he was gonna say something about your relationship—yada yada yada—gonna be better and stronger—yada yada yada—oh!  And as long as you’ve got each other, you won’t take have to take any shit from other people.”  The rousing beat to We’re Not Gonna Take It blasted through the earbuds, making Gamora wonder whether there was a method to the madness that was the playlist.  

There was no introduction to the next song, which was a surprise to Gamora as the opening notes of I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston took over the recording.  She was less surprised when instead of Whitney’s beautiful voice it was just Peter, drowning out the singer on her own song, and not even with the correct lyrics, “AND IIIII-EE-IIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUOUUOUU!!”  It was short, but enough for Gamora to laugh out loud at his off key singing.  When the song ended, he came back onto the tape with a grin in his voice, “That was an accurate demonstration of my love for you, Uptown Girl.”  A very Rocket-like scoff echoed in the background.  Peter continued, unfazed, 

“I had so much trouble talking to you over the past three years.  And I admit that I was scared to death of what would happen if I told you my feelings for you.  I just didn’t want to screw things up.  People made it seem like it was such an easy thing to do and it wasn’t.  But because of my fear, I almost missed my window of opportunity.  I guess the ineligibility thing was a blessing in disguise, because it gave me a chance to tell you what I felt and to do what I could to show you that I cared.”    The song Tell Her About It by Billy Joel filled her ears, the bouncy tune lightening her spirit from the dismal task of unpacking. 

Peter cleared his throat once more, “Well, it seems we’ve reached the last song on this beautiful playlist.”  He began, pausing as if to gather the words he wanted to say.  “In all seriousness, Gamora, I truly, truly want the best for you.  And even if I’m not part of that, which I sincerely wish that I am, I just want you to know that I’ll support you no matter what, because that’s what friends do.  I may be a downright prick at times, but I just want you to know that I’ll love you always and forever.  And I better see you make history in the next few years.  So take the opportunities you’re given and make yourself into the best version of yourself that you can be.”  He let out a shaky laugh before continuing, “But make sure you make room for the fun stuff too.  Just like this next song says:  If you have the choice to sit it out or dance.  I hope you dance.”    The music seeped through her earbuds, but Gamora hardly heard a thing as she blinked back the tears that had gathered in her eyes.  The tattered music player ended up to be the sweetest thing that anybody had ever done for her, and as it turned out, nice gestures could be overwhelming sometimes.  

The sharp trill of the doorbell yanked Gamora from her thoughts.  She pulled out her earbuds and swiped at the tears that had slipped down her cheeks, preparing herself to meet her roommate. The doorbell rang again. She stalked towards the door, hyperaware of how much of a mess she must have looked like.  So much for first impressions.  The doorbell rang once more, seemingly more impatient than before.  They should really give both roommates their own keys in the first place.  She thought, grabbing the second key they gave her from the countertop and flinging open the door.  She managed to school her features into what she hoped was a welcoming smile and braced herself for the awkward pleasantries that she was sure awaited her on the other side.

“Hi, you must be—” The words seemed to dissipate on her tongue as she gaped at the person standing on the threshold of the dorm.

Chapter Text

It took a few moments for Gamora to register the sight in front of her.  Peter offered a sheepish smile before holding up the container of drinks he was carrying, 

“Can I come in?”  She stepped aside, still shocked by his presence.  He cleared his throat as the door slammed shut behind him, “I brought tea.”  He said, setting a small speaker and the tray of drinks on to the countertop, then offering her one of the steaming cups.  A slight shiver ran up her spine at the sheer familiarity of the gesture and she recovered enough to accept the drink and mumble a soft thanks.

“What are you doing here?”  She croaked, gesturing for him to sit down on the makeshift couch.  He shrugged, sinking down next to her.

“I wanted to visit you.”  He said matter-of-factly, slinging his arm around her shoulders  “And it’s the 21st of September.”  She snorted, As if that explained anything.  He read her look and elaborated, “We had a pre-season game up in Los Angeles.  I knew about it a couple months before we graduated so I got coach to let me stay another day so I could see you.”  He grinned, “He’s kind of a sucker for love.”  Gamora smiled, warmed by both his presence and the chai tea latte she cradled in her hands.  

“Aren’t we all?”  She asked, leaning into him.  Peter coughed in disbelief, 

“I’d never thought I’d hear you say that.”  She opened her mouth to respond but Peter’s attention had snagged onto the last stack of unpacked boxes.  Or, rather, on the small blue iPod that she had left on top of the pile.  His face softened, “My mom would have loved you, y’know.”  Gamora looked up at him, watching his jaw work for a moment.  “She would have treated you like her own daughter.”  He let out a shaky laugh.  Gamora was never as good at reading people as Mantis, but it didn’t take a genius to sense the sadness that rippled off of Peter.  She wrapped her arms around his torso in a blind stab for consolation.

“I would have loved to meet her.”  She mumbled into his side, “And tell her what a fantastic job she did raising her son.”  He grinned down at her, though his eyes still echoed a lingering sense of pain.

“Dance with me.”  The request seemed to come out of nowhere as Peter stood and turned to face her.  His eyes were full of intent as he reached for her hand, “It’s the 21st of September.  Dance with me.”  Gamora hesitated a moment, staring at his outstretched hand.  “It’s the 21st of September.” He repeated, eyebrows lifting pointedly.  Understanding dawned on her as she recalled the song she had been listening to only two hours ago: “Do you remember, the 21st of September?  Love was changing the minds of pretenders, while chasing the clouds away.  Our hearts were ringing, in the key that our souls were singing.  As we danced in the night, remember how the stars stole the night away”  

She took his hand, letting him pull her to his chest and wrap his arm around her waist.  Soft music filtered out of the speaker he had placed on the kitchen counter.

“She would have wanted you to have the iPod.”  He said, leading her into a twirl that almost made her lose her balance.  Gamora flicked her gaze upwards, eyes wide with surprise, 

“Really?”  He pulled her close once again, 

“Yeah,” his eyes twinkled, “she would have thought it was a shame that you ‘don’t dance’.”  He made exaggerated quotation marks with his fingers.  Gamora scoffed at that, 

“I just prefer to watch people than be actively engaged with them.”  She retorted, heat flaring up in her cheeks, from anger or embarrassment, she wasn’t sure.  “And I’m dancing now, aren’t I?”  Peter raised his eyebrows at her challenge, 

“I thought you were going to kill me when I asked you to dance with me just now.  You gave me this look—”  Peter noted, looking down at her with that stupid grin she forgot he made when he was teasing her.  She shot him a glare and his smile widened, “—that one!  That’s the one!”  She scowled as he tugged her even closer to his chest, shaking with laughter.  

The sound was so familiar, so utterly Peter-like that she was struck with the realization that they didn’t have much time before they had to part ways once more.  Her face morphed into a pensive frown.  

“What’s wrong?”  Gamora snapped her head up at the suddenness of the question.  She managed to meet his eyes, the mischievous twinkle replaced with concern.  Her gaze fell to the floor, 

“It’s just—”  She began, shaking her head, “Mississippi is really far away.”

“It’s not that bad.”  Peter said lightly.  Gamora stared at him, 

“Peter, the distance between Pasadena and Mississippi is almost—”

“1,800 miles.”  He finished and shrugged at her surprised expression, “Did you really think I wouldn’t look that up?”  He smiled softly and Gamora froze.  Just went rigid in his arms as she struggled to slow her racing mind.  The clarity that his declaration should have brought was tainted by fears she hadn’t even realized she was entertaining.

She was scared of losing him.  Terrified.  Terrified that this one good thing could be gone just like that.  He had done so much for her, she realized.  So much in such a short amount of time that she wasn’t even sure how to react.

He had done it because of love.  Because he loved her.  She knew that, but she was never able to fully grasp the idea.  Her family was dysfunctional enough that she really had no experience with it save for a few times with Nebula.  And even that bordered more on duty rather than emotion.  But no matter how foreign the concept of love was to her, Gamora could be certain of one thing: it was right.

So in that moment, she did what she felt was right.

“Follow me.”  She said, taking his hand and leading him towards the door, “And close your eyes.”  Peter started, but did as she asked, 

“Where are we going?”  He furrowed his brow, stumbling after her ungracefully.  

“Shut up.  There’s someplace I want to show you.”

———————————————————————————————————————

Gamora stopped in the courtyard she had discovered after a rather unsuccessful campus adventure (she had gotten lost trying to find the damn cafe).  

“Can I open my eyes now?”  Peter asked, still gripping her hand tightly.

“Yes.”  Peter blinked, first registering Gamora’s shy smile, the way that the light danced in her eyes.  Then his surroundings.  They stood on a wide concrete pathway, illuminated only by a few gas lamps that hung from the arches around them.  The sky opened up above them, peppered with the twinkling shine of starlight.  He looked back at her, eyes wide,

“Woah.”  She nodded, 

“I know.  It’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.”  He breathed, pulling her closer to him.  She felt a blush start to creep up her neck at that.  “But, damn it, ‘Mora.  You’ve officially taken the lead for the most romantic one between us.”  Gamora coughed a laugh, 

“I wasn’t aware that it was a competition.”  She replied, tilting her head.  He grinned cheekily,

“It’s not.  But you’re winning.”  She rolled her eyes at that but didn’t say anything in response.  Instead, she held her other hand out to him, 

“Dance with me.”  Peter’s eyes went wide at her outstretched hand.  

“You— you’re asking me… to dance?”  He questioned, his disbelief clear.

“Yes…?”  Gamora answered, not sure if his question was rhetorical or not.  He visibly relaxed, taking her hand in his, 

“I thought you’d never ask.”