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jeon jeongguk is clueless.
first of all, it was to the attentive stare that he is clueless about.
it’s started from an innocent stare. a moment of boredom, perhaps, as the owner of the studio can only watch helplessly when the lad comes over to learn how to use his mixing tool. the truth is that jeongguk doesn’t even need his tutorial. maybe for the first few minutes only. afterwards, he’s left to stare at the side profile of his genius lab’s intruder while the oblivious male is working on his computer, engrossed in the whole mixing progress using yoongi’s new mixing software.
(the fact that yoongi even let him use his computer was already out of character enough, but no one should know about this.)
“you got it?” yoongi asks, making sure that jeongguk encounters no difficulties.
“mm,” comes the absent answer.
jeongguk is not even listening to him. his eyes are fully focused on the jagged audio bars decorating the grey background. it’s interesting, yoongi thinks, jeongguk would probably just agree to whatever he says at this point.
“after you finish, let’s go downstairs so you can buy me some snacks.”
“of course.”
“do you know that I stole a pack of oreo thins from your stash this morning?”
“mm?”
yoongi turns his head to hide his mouth behind his palm, stifling a silent laughter as he enjoys the mindless exchange. it probably makes him the silly one between the two now, when he always complains about how the younger guys are always acting dumb and childish around him.
but it’s nice, like this, because then jeongguk also doesn’t notice that yoongi has been staring at him for the past ten minutes.
yoongi always stares as though he is reading. reading the lines of jeongguk’s face; the little twitch of his nose and the faint wrinkles forming between his eyebrows as he thinks. the way jeongguk’s eyes slowly widened and filled with a shine - twinkling little stars - when he figured out something. yoongi might actually able to write a song based on the sight alone. the way the boy absently bites on the inside of his lip when he is thinking deeply.
“have you ever been in love, jeongguk?”
“eh?” that snaps the younger out of his working zone. he blinks a few times, turning his attention to yoongi who has straightened up on his seat like a deer caught in a headlights. “were you saying something, hyung?”
“I was just asking how long you’re gonna stay here. I need to work too, you know,” he clears his throat, somehow managed to keep his cool.
“oh, right,” jeongguk looks back to the computer and the equipment before him as if just realizing that he is, in fact, not in his own studio. a soft flush spreads across his cheeks and he hurries up to turn his attention back to the screen and save his work. “sorry! I will wrap up soon.”
“it’s okay, you can complete it first,” yoongi sighs.
the pair of curious eyes found his again when jeongguk looks at him, confounded at the turn of events. it’s too adorable for yoongi not to reach out and ruffle his hair, his gaze fond as he looks at the lad.
a triumphant smile spreads across jeongguk’s face, and just like that, the warmth is gone.
perhaps staring is not really the best way to express his affection for someone. however, it is a different case when someone else is with them.
take, for example, park jimin.
he is around when yoongi bought jeongguk another pack of oreo thins, shoving it into the maknae’s chest as he walks past the two younger boys hanging out on the back stage’s couch, waiting for their turn to perform.
“I ate yours the other day, so I got you a new one,” he says nonchalantly.
jeongguk frowns, taking a moment to stare at yoongi with his usual confused face before he breaks into a smile. “I don’t even notice it’s gone, but thank you hyung! I really like these.”
the smile. yoongi can hold back the urge to mirror it, but he can’t help the softening of his gaze from the tired one into something filled with affection. not when jeongguk’s eyes shine because of him.
later that night, jimin slides into his room, not caring about the tired look yoongi gives him when he plops down on the edge of yoongi’s bed with a knowing smile.
“what was that? with ggukkie.”
yoongi is a little more interested now. “what are you talking about?”
“the way you look at him,” jimin starts, lips pursed to a side while he is contemplating his words. yoongi waits. “it’s like you would risk it all for him.”
yoongi holds his breath.
“eh, that’s too much. maybe it’s like you’d go on another trip downstairs for more of the dumb oreos. I mean, I know that we’re all soft for him, but you’re in this whole new level of soft that--ow! hyung!”
jimin can’t finish his little monologue as yoongi is already attacking him with all the pillows from his bed. his leave from the room is accompanied by his laughter ringing through the corridor. yoongi is warm on the cheeks as he buries his face into the only pillow he still has in his bed.
if he is that obvious to jimin, maybe he is really in trouble after all.
but jeon jeongguk is clueless.
event to yoongi’s affectionate touches, he is still clueless.
when staring is not enough to satiate his need to his affections, yoongi starts to crave for something else. it’s not entirely his fault that jeongguk’s hand is just there .
his fingers are tapping the table in a random rhythm, probably caused by boredom since they have been waiting a little too long for their meat. it’s way past dinner time that all the members are whining from hunger. jeongguk is included, but his protest is reduced into the tapping of fingers after they finally realized that whining doesn’t make their food comes faster.
yoongi stares at the moving fingers for a moment, and the next time he blinks his eyes, his hand is already on top of jeongguk’s. fingers slotting between jeongguk’s from the back of his hand.
no one else is seeing this, only jeongguk with his eyes round from surprise. yoongi is just as surprised as he is, he has no idea.
“what’s the matter, yoongi hyung?” he asks, head cocked to a side.
“nothing, you’re noisy,” yoongi answers, trying to justify his action but ends up adding unnecessary details that just digs his grave even deeper. “your hands are not even that big, but why did they look huge when you cupped my face the other day?”
okay, he should stop his habit of talking too much when he’s nervous.
instead of brushing the random topic aside, jeongguk’s eyes lit up at the recalling of that exact moment. he slides his hand out from yoongi’s hold, only to bring them up to cup yoongi’s cheeks, replicating that moment from their group anniversary event where jeongguk had to cup his cheeks. the pictures are everywhere on the internet.
but at this moment, it’s only theirs.
“your face is so tiny, hyung. why are you so tiny?” jeongguk coos.
he is gentle as he cradles yoongi’s face in his hands, squeezing his cheeks a little and brushing his thumbs over the apples of yoongi’s cheeks. it would be a lie to say that yoongi is not a least bit affected by the contact. if he didn’t know better, he would think that jeongguk is doing this purposely to show his affections. but jeongguk is unaware of the mad pace of his heart beating inside his chest.
jeongguk is clueless, after all.
“aah the food is here!” hoseok’s cheer is a cue for jeongguk to drop his hand, turning his full attention towards the plates of meat served on their table.
yoongi’s face is still burning from the touch of jeongguk’s hands even as he is handling the burner. not only that, he can also notice namjoon’s stare from across the table. the rapper only smiles when he lifts his gaze to catch it.
“right in front of my salad?” he mouths.
yoongi glares at him, prompting him to drop the topic but not without another playful smile thrown at him. he gives namjoon an overcooked meat later on.
it feels like everyone else but jeongguk notices, and yoongi is torn between having to control himself or treat it like a game to see how far he can push until jeongguk notices.
“nope, I’m not tired, nor drunk, totally not,” jeongguk stops himself from talking as he sways a little on where he is standing. it’s only been an hour after the dinner and yoongi already regrets letting namjoon order that much drinks along with the meat.
sure, jeongguk can boast all he wants about his alcohol tolerance. but the fact that he is not flushed red like hoseok does when he is drunk, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t get tipsy after downing a few shots of soju.
yoongi catches him on the waist and guides him from faceplanting into the living room’s couch into his own room. the satin shirt feels so flimsy under yoongi’s fingers, and he can feel the curve of jeongguk’s waist fit under his palms, so lithe and fragile despite the toned muscles. if jungkook noticed that his hands have stayed there for too long, he doesn’t say anything, only grins sheepishly at him when he hits his nose on his bedroom’s door.
“can I sleep in your bed? I don’t wanna sleep here and it’s your turn tonight.”
“haha,” yoongi says impassively, unlocking the door swiftly before ushering jeongguk in. “go sleep. that bed looks awful, but you have to deal with your own choice like an adult.”
jeongguk pouts. “not even for a night?”
“nope. go sleep, you big baby.”
jeongguk huffs, kicking his jeans off quickly and turning around on his heels, probably to bid yoongi goodbye. instead, he sways on his feet, and yoongi’s hands are ready to catch him, making him grunt at the extra weight
“wow. your hands are pretty huge,” jeongguk says in awe, taking one of yoongi’s hands from his body to hold it in both hands. “I didn’t really notice before.”
did he really not notice me touching him all this time?
“not really something that important to notice anyway,” yoongi waves him off.
“they look pretty, though. your significant other would be lucky to hold hands with you.”
yoongi swallows, deciding to be bold for once as he turns his palm and catches jeongguk’s in his. his fingers enveloping the latter’s easily, warmth spreading throughout his body from the contact.
“like this?”
jeongguk’s smile grows. “yes! but that’s just me speaking. if it were me, I’d feel lucky.”
“stop talking shit and just sleep,” yoongi grumbles, taking his hand away just so he can walk out of the room, leaving the younger whining, but complying. jeongguk has no clue that yoongi has reserved that kind of touches only for him.
by the time the staring and subtle touches grow into something more obvious, yoongi concluded that it’s just jeongguk who’s clueless about the whole thing. what could be more obvious than a kiss?
yoongi is not really a type to share too much body contacts if he can, unlike hoseok and seokjin who can kiss one of the members and then walk away as if they did nothing unusual. perhaps that’s why it comes as a surprise.
it’s a lazy day for once, and yoongi is catching up with what’s happening in the world through the news channel playing on tv. hoseok keeps mumbling about how boring he is, even though he’s the one who gets interested in the news about a viral golf swing or makes comments about some idol group comeback.
and then jeongguk walks into their unit with taehyung in tow, groaning about how hot it is outside and how he had to carry the whole groceries after losing a rock paper scissors game with taehyung. that’s why the blonde looks in a better state, all grinning and cheeky as he disappears into his own room.
after dropping the bags of groceries, jeongguk doesn’t go straight to his room, but collapses on the carpeted floor right on yoongi’s feet. he leans his head on yoongi’s knee, peering up at him as if seeking for validation.
“I got you that omega 3 pills you like a lot. it’s the last bottle on the shelf.”
yoongi raises a brow. “thank you?”
at this point, jeongguk’s eyes are just screaming praise me , so he snorts and gives a smack on jeongguk’s chest, leaning down to whisper into his ear just so his praises are reserved for him. the boy breaks into a fit of giggle and yoongi can’t help but to press a tiny kiss on top of jeongguk’s head just as he pulls away.
satisfied, the maknae stands up so he can disappear into his room. meanwhile, yoongi caught hoseok’s gaze on him. it seems that the younger rapper has been watching the whole exchange.
“did you just… kiss jeongguk?” he asks slowly.
yoongi can feel the lump on his throat, almost throwing him into a coughing fit if only he didn’t swallow quickly, breaking into an awkward laughter that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“it was just his head, calm down. besides, you kiss the kids a lot.”
“I guess that’s true,” hoseok nods, though he still seems unconvinced as he keeps his eyes on yoongi, even as the news program has started again. yoongi doesn’t care since he owes the younger no explanation for his actions.
the truth is, there is no explanation at all.
because jeongguk never questions it. not even as yoongi kisses him on the mouth.
it’s a long day. a day of packed schedules with half the day spent waiting inside the car and hair salon. jeongguk always catches sleep whenever he can, so it’s not surprising that yoongi finds the youngest settled on the car already before the other members even exit the dressing room of their last variety show filming.
jeongguk is sleepy, but his eyes are smiling when they caught yoongi coming into the van with him. he pats the spot next to him, as if all this time, he has been waiting for someone to come and end his lonely wait.
(yoongi hopes it’s just him in particular)
“weren’t you about to sleep just now?” yoongi asks.
jeongguk nods, but not making a move to lean his head back against his neck pillow in the position yoongi found him in earlier. he takes off the shark shaped neck pillow and puts it behind yoongi’s nape instead, holding onto both ends so he can fix the hyung’s position to get him comfortable.
“I think you need it more than I do. stop working too hard in the studio.”
“didn’t do that.”
“you did. I slept in your bed last night and you didn’t even come home.”
yoongi shuts up at that, not having anything to argue with because he was really working all night. seeing the defeat, jeongguk smiles and reaches out to pet yoongi’s hair gently. it’s frizzy and unpleasant to touch, but the smile never leaves his lips.
the smile is what enchanted yoongi enough to lean in and capture the pair of lips into a kiss.
it’s chaste and sweet, something so fleeting that could set yoongi’s chest in fire. he stares at jeongguk’s cupids bow when he pulls away before his gaze flickers up to catch jeongguk’s dazed one.
“what was that, hyung?” he asks softly.
“what do you think it was?
it’s already so obvious, right? a kiss couldn’t be mistaken for anything else. even if yoongi doesn’t say explicitly, jeongguk should know that--
“I don’t know, but it is nice,” jeongguk says, a small grin slowly spreads over his lips.
when yoongi opens his mouth to finally put his feelings and actions into words, the car door is opened and the rest of the members start piling up into the van. exhaling a deep sigh, he turns his body to face the front, fixing the neck pillow so he can sink his face deeper into the cushion and hide from the world.
but jeongguk is right there. his side is pressed up against yoongi’s. it is the same jeongguk who thinks that yoongi’s kiss is a nice ‘I don’t know’.
“it’s either he is just really dense, or he’s not into you,” seokjin says.
yoongi stares at him impassively, wishing that he could rewind to the past ten minutes which is before he started telling the sad story about how he has been dropping hints about his feelings for a certain cherry haired male in their dorm and how the said guy seems to be oblivious to his advances.
“ouch,” yoongi states after an unnecessarily prolonged silent. “that hurts, but thanks hyung. like I didn’t know that already.”
seokjin barks a laugh. “I’m kidding, idiot.”
“this is why we’re not roommates anymore.”
the eldest rolls his eyes, throwing his empty bottle of water away before he scoots backwards on the floor of their dance practice room to lean against the mirrored wall. all trace of joke seems to drip away from his face after the full blown laughter, and this is why yoongi can always trust him for a talk. he takes things so lightly, but he knows when to stop and be serious when yoongi needs it.
“have you ever thought of talking to him about it, though? you might think that you’ve dropped enough clues, but we both know jeongguk is pretty dense.”
yoongi’s hand fly up to mess with his own hair, playing with the newly dyed strands absently. “I kissed him, though. if that’s not enough of a clue then…”
“a kiss is a serious thing, yeah,” seokjin hums. “but if you could kiss him, there shouldn’t be any more fear to do anything else.”
“I don’t want to scare him off. one fear about dating your bandmate is the ruined friendship after the breakup, but it’s even worse when it happens because of a silly, one-sided crushing.”
before seokjin could respond to that, the door swings open and the room is filled with liveliness again once the rest of the members piled into the space. jeongguk doesn’t even spare a glance at him before he’s surrounded by taehyung and jimin, talking about the new video games and things that yoongi can’t be bothered to listen.
on top of it all, jeon jeongguk is also clueless about the kind of feeling he inflicts in yoongi.
the best example would be the morning yoongi opens his eyes to a board chest and a warm body cuddled up into his pillow. he is ready to be alarmed, would have thrown whoever it is out of the bed if only he didn’t catch jeongguk’s peaceful sleeping face greeting him.
it is innocent. jeongguk sleeps in any member’s bed because he is too proud to admit that he doesn’t like to sleep alone.
yoongi shouldn’t think too much about it.
but it wouldn’t hurt for him to indulge in the feeling while it lasts. he doesn’t want this to be over despite how parched his throat is for a drink. he stays there against his better judgment, pressing his face into jeongguk’s shirt and nuzzling against his shoulder.
it could have been minutes, or hours. jeongguk’s the one who’s shaken awake this time. unlike yoongi, he easily slides himself out of the bed.
in the haze of his drowsy mind, yoongi is not thinking much as his hand flies up to catch jeongguk’s hand, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt. it causes the vocalist to stop on his track.
there is a pregnant pause before jeongguk speaks, his voice still deep from sleep.
“I didn’t know you’re a clingy sleeper, yoongi hyung.”
“you don’t know anything.”
“oh, you’re awake,” jeongguk says with a trace of amusement in his voice.
it’s only when he sits back on the bed that yoongi looks up at him, catching a sleepy smile that makes his chest ache with wants. not the carnal kind that involves desire for pleasure. it is a kind of sweeter pleasure. he just needs to have jeongguk to stay where he is right now.
“you want me to stay?” always.
“not really.”
jeongguk laughs and claims his spot back in the bed to cuddle up into yoongi’s arms. he tucks his head under the elder’s chin and sighs in comfort. this position is making sure that yoongi can only think about the smell of his shampoo and the feeling of jeongguk’s arms around his waist that lingers for the next few hours.
if only he knew what yoongi’s heart is telling him to do now, he wouldn’t be acting so brave.
yoongi has fallen asleep to the comforting feelings, only to wake up to an unfamiliar body occupying the space in his bed. he doesn’t even need to open his eyes to recognize the small giggle emitted by the boy, nose scrunched up in annoyance.
“you have five seconds before I kick you off the bed.”
“ah, hyung! you let jeongguk sleep here!” comes taehyung’s protest, too loud for his drowsy head. “saw him coming out of here just now, running straight to the bathroom when I was gonna use it. the disrespect.”
“it’s different,” yoongi mumbles, deciding to just ignore the rest of the taller boy’s rant.
“of course it is.”
yoongi’s eyes snap open at the scoff, observing taehyung’s face skeptically and watching as panic starts to fill his eyes. “wait, am I not supposed to know that you two are dating?”
“what the fuck?”
maybe jeongguk is not so clueless, after all.
taehyung told him that at this point, everyone else already knew that they are dating. everyone else but jeongguk, apparently. when he is sitting in silence like this, yoongi can hear seokjin’s voice in his head, and he just wants to bang his head against the table.
“so he’s just not into me,” he mumbles with his mouth pressed against the lid of the cup. it’s warm, reminding him of the feeling of jeongguk’s lips against-- wait, he’s not supposed to think about it anymore.
“the storyline makes it kind of awkward, I mean, yoongi hyung and I don’t even hug or look into each other’s eyes like that!” jeongguk’s laugh follows his statement, while yoongi can only watch from the side as the boy is being interviewed by a nameless face behind the camera.
he scoffs into the cup. of course they don’t do that.
don’t stare, don’t stare, don’t stare.
“hyung!”
yoongi sighs, lifting his gaze to stare at jeongguk who’s already taking a seat next to him. right after he denied their closeness to the public. it’s not like yoongi was expecting otherwise.
“what do you want, jeongguk-ah?” he asks, putting down his coffee cup and taking his phone just so he doesn’t have to look at the latter.
it doesn’t discourage jeongguk from trying to get his attention. as usual. “I just wanted to-- oh, you got some here,” yoongi shuts his eyes briefly as jeongguk’s thumb makes a contact with his nose, careful finger brushing over the tip.
it’s all too familiar that yoongi’s initial response is to glance around for a presence of a camera panned onto them. “is this another one of your stupid hidden mission?”
“heh, no. I just wanted to boop your nose,” the brat says with a cheeky grin plastered across his lips. he does squint his eyes with a more pensive look soon after as he drops his hand, brushing his thumb over yoongi’s top lip this time. “this time is real, though. you got the coffee stain.”
it’s a gentle and attentive touch. if it’s any other day, yoongi would probably just let his eyes flutter close and bask in the comfort that he’s receiving from the younger. not right now. not when all he can think of is how jeongguk chose to ignore his feelings and act clueless about it.
“I said, what do you want, jeongguk?” he repeats, taking jeongguk’s hand away from his face.
there’s a flicker of surprise crossing his face before confusion and a slightest bit of hurt appears on the surface. his lips parted in daze, hand going limp in yoongi’s hold.
“I just…” jeongguk starts to speak, pressing his lips together to stop himself when he sees the firm look in yoongi’s face. “I’m sorry?”
“it’s fine,” yoongi releases an exasperated sigh, letting go of jeongguk’s hand. “let’s just stop doing this before the other members think that we’re dating or something. we don’t do that kind of thing, right?”
“wha- hyung, are you okay?”
he waves jeongguk off before more questions could pour out of his mouth. he ignores the way jeongguk looks at him as he gets up, needing to exit the suffocating room.
there are too many people there. the staff that are preparing for their group pictures, cameras shooting them for different purposes. the other members that are either filming something, resting, or having their turn for the individual photoshoot session.
privacy is a privilege that’s hard for them to obtain lately. if yoongi were to get any more obvious about his feelings, it’s just about time for the rest of the world to catch up about it. perhaps except for the person he wants to realize it the most.
“hyung, did I do something wrong?” jeongguk is following him out of the photoshoot studio, through the corridor where some people are still walking around, until he disappears behind the door of their changing room, followed by the youngest.
“I’m not. I needed some air.”
“you’re acting weird. what did you mean just now?” jeongguk is starting to push it, following his trail as he walks further into the room until he finally snaps and whips himself around so they’re face to face. the redhead stumbles back a little on his feet.
“jeon jeongguk, I swear to god-”
“no, hyung. listen to me,” he is the one who’s speaking sternly now, eyebrows taut when he reaches out to take yoongi’s hand so he won’t try to walk away again. “you should’ve told me if you don’t want the others to think of us like that .”
“how am I supposed to do that? I should come up to you and be like, ‘oh jeongguk, I don’t want the others to think that we’re dating, but here let me show you my one-sided crush!’”
there. he finally said it. so much for trying not to risk their friendship for his feelings.
“hyung…”
yoongi laughs dryly. “even if I asked you out, you’d probably think it’s just another bro thing, huh?”
“hyung!” the firm tone is what stopping yoongi from either having a breakdown or babbling further. jeongguk looks annoyed now, but more confused than anything else. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say but it’s not one-sided when we’re dating already? and unless I got the wrong idea, it’s far from ‘a bro thing’.”
yoongi stares at him.
“you asked me out after that kiss in the car and… oh my god,” he stops, staring at yoongi with his lips parted and incredulity decorating his face. “I thought you fell asleep only after you heard my answer but-”
“I did what ?” he chokes out.
jeongguk gesticulates wildly for a second before bouts of laughters spill past his lips. “oh my god. I was in a relationship and I was the only one who’s aware of it. great.”
watching the younger laughs - even if he’s laughing at yoongi - still makes his chest filled with warmth no matter how annoyed he is right now. it’s all still confusing, but he can vaguely remember the car ride, the surprise crossing jeongguk’s face when yoongi started to confess his feelings uncontrollably and the bashful expression that came upon it. he had been so tired that day that he probably spilled his secrets without even realizing it.
“that was two weeks ago,” he says once it clicks in his head.
“yep.”
“we have been dating for two weeks.”
“that’s correct,” jeongguk confirms, taking a deep breath now that all trace of laughter disappears from his face. only relief stays in his face as he steps forward and slides his arm around yoongi’s waist, leaning in to nuzzle yoongi’s cheek with his nose. “and in case it’s still not clear enough, I said I liked you too, hyung.”
yoongi turns his head to capture jeongguk’s lips into a kiss. a surprised noise is caught in jeongguk’s throat, but he is the one who’s pulling yoongi closer. he is kissing yoongi like he’s been waiting for it forever.
“I was starting to wonder why you wouldn’t kiss me anymore. so that’s why.”
it’s funny, now that yoongi thinks about it again. but no one is allowed to laugh this loudly .
“so you were worrying about asking your own boyfriend out,” seokjin says in between his laughter, rolling away to get a safe distance away from yoongi. “this is handown the most foolish love story I’ve ever heard.”
“so you’ve never heard about romeo and juliet.”
“at least they knew that they were in love with each other, dumbass.”
now, yoongi is really regretting his decision to tell his story to the hyung. it’s only his words that are preventing him from kicking seokjin out of the window of his own bedroom. it always puts him in a good mood to know that jeongguk knows .
the only thing that jeon jeongguk is not clueless about is yoongi’s feelings for him. that’s way better than he could ever ask for.