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Everyday Derek always faced the same problem. He woke up, looked himself in the mirror and then the thoughts began spinning. Derek had since the beginning been given to much responsibility’s, when he was younger it had been his sisters and now it was the pack. He had grown up to fast, his family's death had forced him into growing up, becoming the adult he never had been. So every morning Derek asked himself the same question: am I doing the right thing? He didn't know if he did, he couldn't tell if the choices he made was the right ones for himself or anyone around him. He had gotten so many people killed just because of the decisions he made. Though no one ever noticed, Derek got really happy when someone said something implying that he had done a good thing, but Derek wasn't known as the kind of guy who was happy so he never showed it. Lately the comments about him doing a good job was decreasing and he felt like he needed to do something good so that someone could tell him that he was doing a good job, that he wasn't a failure, a disappointment.
But as the time went by and the compliments grew fewer Derek discovered something. He could turn into a wolf, a real wolf with black fur all over. Derek didn't know why he could do it, he had been an alpha for a while so it couldn't be an alpha thing, but he could do it and he wasn't wasting it on wondering why he could. So Derek transformed to the black wolf and he ran, ran as fast as he could and somehow he found himself in town. He sat by a fountain and he had no idea how he got there. Derek looked around and saw how a little girl with brown hair, green eyes and that smelled of food and happiness. The girl walked towards him with a sandwich in her hands.
“Hey little doggie, do you want some food?” She coed.
At first Derek got a bit offended, he wasn't a dog, he was a wolf, but the girl seemed so kind and understanding that he couldn't resist. He took a few uncertain steps towards her and then sat down again. She took the last steps and right when she came up to him she put the sandwich in front of him and then she started petting him.
“DARCY!” He heard a woman scream in panic.
The woman reeked of panic and fear and Derek understood that the child in front of him was the woman's child.
“DARCY! THAT'S A WOLF! GET AWAY FROM IT!” She screamed and the girl named Darcy turned around.
“He's nice mommy! He won't hurt me!” She shouted back with her childish voice and then she turned to Derek again.
“You're a good boy aren't you? A good little wolf.” She said and Derek froze.
He stared at her. She had just said that he was a good wolf and that was all that he had wanted to hear for years. This little girl had just given him everything he needed, everything he wanted. He felt how he became warm inside, this was something that warmed his heart. Everyone thought he was just a cold hearted guy who had been like that ever since his parents died. The truth was that while his parents death did change him, it didn't change him into a cold stone.
“Eat it... The sandwich.” The girl said and pointed at the sandwich.
Derek could smell the turkey on the sandwich and he was beginning to realize that he was really, really hungry. He started eating the sandwich and the girl jumped with joy.
“DARCY!” The woman screamed again and then the little girl was lifted from the ground.
The woman who was her mother had grabbed her and started pulling her away from Derek. Derek looked up with the saddest eyes he could do and stared right into the mother's eyes. The mother who had a cold face when she looked at him at first started to soften. She put her child down but never broke eye contact with Derek.
“Don't touch him yet Darcy...” She told the child and then she reached for Derek.
He took a step forward and licked the woman's hand. She looked really surprised but then she smiled.
“You really are a good boy...” She whispered and Derek whined.
Derek took a step back and continued eating his sandwich.
“Mum? Can we keep him?” The little girl asked and her mother laughed.
“No silly, he's a wild animal.” The mother said.
The child started whining and Derek didn't really want to listen so he tried to shut his hearing off as best as he could and when he looked up they were gone.
A few weeks later and the whole town knew about the wolf who would occasionally come into town and let people pet him and feed him. It was all that Derek's little group could talk about.
“How come none of us has seen it yet? You are werewolfs but you haven't seen the WOLF.” Stiles said to Scott and Isaac as Derek walked into the room.
Stiles looked up at him and his whole face lit up with curiosity.
“Derek! We were just talking about that wolf that everyone keeps seeing, have you seen it yet?” Stiles asked and Derek frowned.
“No. Why would I want to see it? It's just a wolf and if you haven't noticed we are werewolfs.” Derek said and Stiles rolled his eyes.
“You don't have to put everyone else down just because you don't want to see the wolf.” Stiles mumbled.
“Stiles, face it. No one in here except from you wants to see the wolf.” Derek said, sighed and sat down on the chair in front of Scott's computer.
“Yeah, thanks Derek.” Stiles said and stood up.
He walked across the room and picked up his jacket.
“Stiles, where are you going?” Scott asked and Stiles turned around.
“Believe it or not but I actually find this quite interesting so I'm going to go in to town and see if I can find that wolf.” Stiles said and then he walked out of the room.
Derek stood up as well and Scott gave him a questioning look.
“I'm going after him, this could be dangerous.” Derek said with a cold voice and Scott nodded.
Scott just assumed that it actually could be dangerous. If anyone else had said the same thing Scott would've laughed it off but when Derek said it he assumed it was serious.
When Derek came out and saw Stiles drive off he waited for a few minutes and then he turned. He didn't really know why he ran to town to let Stiles see him. Derek just acted by instinct and once again he asked himself the question: am I doing the right thing?
But Derek couldn't focus on the question, he focused on the running. He focused on the only thing that was real in this moment. How his paws touched the ground, how his claws dug down into the earth and how the smell of the forest helped him keep calm. Derek could smell Stiles even if he were a few minutes away from town. So when Derek reached town he knew exactly were Stiles was.
He found Stiles by the fountain, the same fountain where his wolf visit thing had started. He hadn't meant to keep coming into town and let people pet him and feed him but he just couldn't stop. It felt too good when people called him a good boy. At first it had felt kind of kinky because it all just sounded so wrong when they called him a good boy but after a while he got used to it and then it made him feel good about himself. For the first time since his parents died he could actually feel good about the decisions he made. He felt like he actually did something good when he tried to help people. He still felt guilty about Boyd's death but the “good boy” comments made it feel slightly better. No surprise that he soon became kind off addicted to the feeling he got. But they were all strangers to him, strangers that told him that he was good but they didn't really know what he had done. They didn't know anything about him and maybe that was why he had followed Stiles, he wanted someone who knew him to tell him that he did the right decisions. But Derek knew that as a human that was impossible, he had to become the wolf to get what he wanted. Derek walked up to Stiles who were looking in another direction. Derek sat down in front of him and looked up at Stiles face. Stiles didn't at first see the wolf in front of him but after a few seconds he looked down and saw the black wolf looking up at him. He jumped up on his feet in surprise but then he sat down again.
“Yes! The others don't know what they're missing!” Stiles said and started petting Derek.
Derek felt kind of weird knowing that it was Stiles who was petting him but after a while he didn't care.
“Yeah, good boy, who's a good boy? You are!” Stiles said scratching behind Derek's ears.
Derek froze and looked up at Stiles. This was like the first time someone petted him, like when that girl petted him. He felt good, really good. Stiles knew him, Stiles knew what Derek had done and still he said those things. Derek knew that it was stupid to be happy over Stiles saying those kinds of things to him. Stiles didn't even know that Derek was the wolf but Derek felt so happy that it didn't even matter. Stiles stood up and Derek whined.
“I have to go little guy, but you just keep being a good boy and I will come and see you some other time.” Stiles said.
Derek gave Stiles the puppy eyes and Stiles laughed.
“You little sh... little cute puppy. I'm weak for the puppy eyes, please don't give me the puppy eyes. I am going to come back. What about tomorrow?” Stiles asked and Derek did a barking sound.
Stiles smiled and just walked away. Derek was left with that happy feeling he had in his stomach and he couldn't wait until tomorrow.
“Sorry I have to go.” Stiles said and stood up from his chair.
Isaac, Scott, Lydia, Kira and Derek all looked up at him.
“Where are you going?” Lydia asked.
“Well, I sort of promised the wolf that I would come so... yeah” He said and shrugged.
“He probably wouldn't even know if you came or not, come one, it's a wolf.” Isaac said and Scott hit his arm.
“Dude, we are wolves!” Scott said and Isaac shrugged.
“Wolves are smart you know so he would probably notice if you didn't show up.” Derek said and Stiles jumped and pointed at him.
“For once in his life, Derek Hale aka werewolf alpha, is agreeing with me!” Stiles fist pumped in the air and then he put his jacket on.
Derek stood up and Stiles gave him a questioning look.
“I have to go too, I have some things to take care of.” He said and walked past Stiles.
Derek turned the second he came into the forest and then he ran, ran for all he was worth, because he needed to see Stiles, he needed Stiles to tell him everything was okay.
So Derek sat there waiting for Stiles by the fountain and when Stiles came he had brought food.
“Hey buddy, I didn't know what you liked so I brought you some beef thing.” Stiles said and gave him a piece of meat.
Derek quickly finished it and then Stiles began petting him again.
“You're a good boy, good boy. Yeah, you're so cute and fuzzy. Good boy.” Stiles kept repeating.
Derek whined and Stiles laughed. Derek felt good and for once he didn't ask himself that damned question.
This happened a few times over the course of a month and Derek felt good about it too. Even though Stiles didn't know it was him who was the wolf everything felt alright.
They all sat in Stiles couch watching a movie and eating pizza. Normally Derek wouldn't be there but the pack had literally forced him to go, they said it was time he did something fun.
Scott grabbed his glass of soda, finished it and burped.
“And that's my signal to go out and wash the glasses, you keep watching the movie.” Stiles said and started putting all the glasses on a tablet.
“Derek, you go help him with the dishes.” Scott said and Derek looked at him.
“And why should I do that?” He asked and Scott sighed.
“Because you are the one who ate the most.” Scott said and Derek admitted his defeat.
Derek stood up and followed Stiles to the kitchen. Stiles put the glasses beside him and turned on the tap. He washed a few glasses but then he stopped. The water was running but Stiles didn't make a move to wash the other glasses instead he turned to Derek.
“You are good, you know” He whispered so that no one in the living room with supernatural hearing would hear him.
Derek's heart started beating really fast. How did Stiles know? Was this just a weird coincidence or did he really know that the wolf really was Derek? Derek looked down at his feet, didn't dare to meet Stiles eyes, he was to embarrassed. It felt like he was having some sort of panic attack because he couldn't breathe and he just wanted to run out of the house and never speak to Stiles in a year.
“You're a good person. You do good things. You're good.” Stiles said and this made Derek look up, even if he was so embarrassed that he was thinking of shooting himself.
But something in Stiles voice did something so that Derek couldn't help it. No one had ever said that directly to his face with such a sincerity. Derek didn't want to believe that Stiles was actually saying it, he wanted to believe that this was just some weird dream because if this were real then he wouldn't have the strength to hold back. He would show his real face to someone and that scared Derek more than anything. But even though Derek was so scared of letting someone in, he looked up. He met Stiles eyes that looked like they were searching for something in him.
“You're good, Derek. You don't need to look like a dog to hear it from me.” Stiles whispered and Derek could feel how his face crumpled.
He could see his own face in Stiles eyes and he could see that what Stiles saw was not the alpha, what Stiles saw was a sixteen year old boy who just lost his parents and just needed to hear that someone thought that he was doing a good job, that he was doing okay, that he wasn't a disappointment. Stiles placed his soapy and wet hand on Derek's cheek and moved his thumb over Derek's cheekbone. Stiles looked deep into Derek's eyes and Derek could tell that Stiles was really happy that Derek was letting him in. Derek huffed and realized that he had not been breathing during the last minute. And just as he started to breathe again Stiles pulled him into a hug. Derek grabbed at Stiles shirt and he never wanted to let go of him because right in that moment he knew what he had done. He had opened up to the first person in years and it felt good, he felt alive and he was just really happy that the person he opened up to was Stiles.