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Jughead couldn’t understand it: why he suddenly cared so much about his appearance. He wasn’t a vain or arrogant guy, he usually wouldn’t give his reflection a second thought. But something was getting to him, something Archie had said. He had been helping Archie practice for wrestling tryouts, even though Jughead had never been very good at it himself, at least Archie could get familiar with the moves. Somehow, after a particularly strange flip, Jughead had ended up on top of him.
“Woah, dude, you’re getting heavy,” Archie breathed, laughing, “Maybe all those burgers are finally catching up with you.” As Jughead rolled off of his friend, he laughed. But he couldn’t help but think more deeply about the comment. Are they? He looked down at his body, am I gaining weight? Archie got into position for another round and Jughead did the same. He didn’t win any of rest of them though, he was too distracted. Archie was just joking, guys joke like that… Right…? He tried to convince himself.
Yet there he was, staring into a mirror like he can’t remember ever having done before, poking at himself. Prodding the small bit of skin that pushed past his jeans, finding that to him, it didn’t seem so small anymore. He frowned, sighed, and absorbed this new feeling of frustration. His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling him back to reality.
BETTY: Hey Jug, you want to go to Pop’s? Milkshakes’ on me.
He responded without even thinking.
JUGHEAD: Sure. See you there in ten.
When he walked in he saw her, already sitting in their usual booth. He slid into the seat next to her, noticing the way his stomach bunched up and pushed out a little when he sat.
“Hey Betts,” he squeezed out, feeling uncomfortable.
“Juggie?” she looked at him, confused, “Everything okay?”
“Of course, everything’s fine,” he rushed his words. She looked at him suspiciously, but ‘okay’ was all she said.
“So do you want something to eat? Or that milkshake I promised?” Betty offered. Jughead almost said yes, as if on autopilot. But one more thought to his tummy and he shook his head.
“Actually, I’m not really hungry,” he told her. The truth was that he was hungry, but for some reason he felt he had to lie.
“But you’re always hungry,” she said. Jughead winced, then forced a laugh.
“I know, funny right?” he asked her. Why am I lying to her?
“Are you sure everything’s okay?” Betty asked one more time. And one more lie followed.
“Yep, I’m sure.”
The next day Jughead dressed in layers, trying to hide his body. He grabbed an apple for breakfast instead of sugary cereal, and ate it on the way to Betty, picking her up before school.
“Hi there, beautiful,” he said when he saw her.
“Hey, handsome,” she reached an arm around his waist, pulling him close. Her greeting repeated in his mind. Jughead didn’t feel handsome, not at all. He felt ugly, fat even. The feeling made him squirm. He thought back to his conversation with Betty the day before. Am I sure I’m okay? He’d thought he was, but now he wasn’t so sure.
Jughead was able to relax a bit in his classes, being distracted by pre-cal and biology. He even started to feel… normal. That is, until lunch rolled around. Never had he been disappointed for a meal before, Jughead realized. That’s probably why you got fat, he cursed under his breath. He walked though the lunch line and looked for something healthy. No luck, it was pizza or a burger. Jughead put a burger on his plate anyway and went to sit down. He knew Betty was talking but he couldn’t listen. He was too busy staring at his tray in disgust.
“Jug,” Betty waved her hand in front of his face, “You’re zoning out.”
“Oh, sorry, what were you saying?” Jughead looked at her.
“Just that my mom’s being crazy,” she waved her hand as if to say it’s nothing, “Aren’t you going to eat something?”
“Oh, um, I…” he started to panic a bit. What do I say? I’m not going to eat it, but she’ll ask why? I can’t lie again, she won’t buy it a second time. A jarring ring filled the cafeteria, “Oh, that’s the bell, gotta run.” Jughead might as well have sprinted from the room. He was so uncomfortable around all the food. He leaned against a locker to take some deep breaths. What is wrong with me? It was a good question; one he wasn’t sure he had the answer to. He lingered a moment before pushing himself upright and trying to walk calmly to his next class.
What’s going on with him? Betty thought worriedly. Her last class had finally ended and she went to meet Jughead in the Blue and Gold office. She hurried to the door, but stopped herself before she burst in. Betty stepped in quietly, only to see him staring, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, at a granola bar. Jughead turned it over slowly to look at the nutrition facts, scanned the contents and shook his head frustratedly. He shoved it into his backpack and looked up to see her. Jughead met her eyes and the oddest look crossed his face. He’s scared, Betty realized, He’s scared of what I saw him do.
“Juggie,” her voice was soft, “you need to tell me what’s going on, and you need to tell me now.” He swallowed. He was caught. But caught doing what; he didn’t know.
“I… I don’t really know how to explain,” he said, finding his honesty again. Betty crossed to him.
“That’s okay,” she ran a hand through his dark hair, “I can make it easier. You’ve been turning down food, which you never do. Why?” Jughead thought for a moment. Why? He didn’t want to; but he supposed he did know the answer. Even if it felt a little ridiculous to say out loud. ‘I’m insecure because Archie made a joke about me getting fat.’
“Really?” Betty looked at him with concern, “That’s why you’re acting like this?”
“I didn’t realize I said that out loud,” Jughead confessed. He looked down, “I guess… I guess I’d just never had anyone mention my weight before. And then I was noticing it and I don’t know… I didn’t do it on purpose. But I don’t want to be… heavy, Betty.” She placed a hand on his cheek.
“You’re not heavy, baby,” she whispered.
“You never call me ‘baby’,” he looked up at her. Betty wrapped her arms around him.
“And even if you were heavy, it wouldn’t matter. I’d still be here, Archie would still be here, the world would keep turning.”
“Well now I feel stupid,” Jughead told her.
Betty pulled back to look him in the eye, “You’re not stupid. Everyone gets insecure sometimes, but I need you to talk to me next time. Don’t stop eating, please don’t scare me like that.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he looked ashamed.
“I know, baby.”
“I love you,” Jughead pulled her close, “But don’t make calling me ‘baby’ a habit.”
“I love you too, but you’ll just have to deal with it, Baby,” Betty said with a smile.