Archive of Our Own ^beta

¨Sorry big guy¨ I morosely told him, handing him the rough-skinned animal ¨It was only an iguana¨

¨Don't worry fair lady, if anything I'm very thankful for your assistance in these foolish endeavours,¨ he gave me a sad smile, taking the reptile in his hands.

I hated having to tell him that there was no trace of Seidr in the critters he kept bringing me, but he got such a hopeful glint in his eyes whenever he spotted any green animal, that I couldn't NOT help him. If I'm honest, I also had faith that I would find some trace of magic from any of them. I had inspected everything from multiple Praying Mantises to giant reptiles and the occasional oddly colored green bird. I don't even want to remember how it went when he brought me the Green Vine Snake, I have never been as thankful as that occasion to have Aseir resistance. Snake bites hurt a lot, I found out that fateful day.

¨It's ok, ¨ Tears began to fill my eyes, ¨I miss him too Thor¨

He placed his arm around my shoulders, trying as best as he could to comfort me,¨I thought my brother was pulling one if his tricks at first, but now I don't know if I'm so sure, is it absurd to keep hoping?¨

¨No you big Aseir goof,¨ I jested leaning into the brotherly embrace. ¨If anything, it shows just how much you love Loki¨

I dried my tears and walked over to the desk to continue my duties, ¨You better get the iguana back where you found him before he starts to pee on Starks equipment, this toy is almost ready for testing, and Tony will have my ass on the chopping block if Mr. Green over here ruins it¨

Thor looked at me with a smirk, ¨You're really picking up on the Midgardians form of language¨

¨Of course, we are residents of such now, and thus we must adapt, now on you go, I don't really wanna injure you with a gamma ray,¨ I gently shooed him from the lab, ¨ and feel free to bring any by any new green friends you make¨

I spent the next few hours readying everything for the next day, Tony was coming straight to the lab to run the tests, and I was as excited as he was, this was our biggest project yet, we had to make sure everything went smoothly. Deciding I had earned a good night's sleep, I turned off the lights from the lab I made my way to my quarters.

Back in my room my memory got the best of me, my mind going back to the past couple months, after a long battle and reverting the mess Thanos' had made, we were finally getting back on our feet. Mr. Stark had been gracious enough to let me reside in the tower and work with him, even going far as far as handing me a lab of my own. I was helping him with any experiments he needed, and my broad knowledge of science, history and Seidr made me a valuable asset to the team, he took kindly to me, even after he was told that my lover on Asgard had been the same man who tried to conquer the realms and threw him out of a window a few years back.

I still remember the first time Thor started bringing me these creatures. He came into the lab that day a tad too excited, with a small frog in his hands and had me check for Seidr in the little guy, stating that 'it reminded him of Loki because of the look in his eyes' and that 'only Loki would take the form of a green beast', he was sure his raven-haired brother was still in disguise. I took the creature in my hands and let a stream of energy flow through to him, half-expecting to meet the energy of Loki's own Seidr, only for the animal to run away; scared. Thor left the lab that day with a slump in his shoulders that created a metaphorical lump in my throat. We were near on 6 months of these 'experiments', and the only thing stronger than the Hulk, were Thor's hopes of somehow finding his brother. I would be lying if I didn't say that I wanted to find Loki in an animal as well. Having seen personally what Thanos had done to him crushed me inside, but I'm glad I was part of the team that brought the evil Titan his well deserved downfall. Sleep overtook me quickly, dreaming that night of holding my beloved in my arms.

It had been a couple of weeks since Thor had visited me with some weird animal in his hands, maybe he had finally given up on his dead-end search, I gathered, he could only get scratched and bitten so many times. To be honest, I would've believed that Loki had taken disguise as a lampshade if it meant I could have him back, but I knew the chances of him returning as anything were slim to none. On one hand I was grateful that I had a job to fill my time, Tony had praised me for my breakthrough and he really wanted to move onto the next big thing, and it was nice that the playboy / philanthropist was proud of my work. On the other hand, the memories were still there when I closed my eyes, Loki for me was never really gone.

It was near lunch time and by the Norns I was starving! I decided I desperately needed some sustenance, and I began to shut down the lab; I could afford to have an early release due to all the work I had put in these past few weeks. I was about to turn off the last of the lights when a tall figure appeared in the doorway, his hands behind his back and a look on his face akin to a child about to confess to some sort of mischief, scared of receiving a scolding from his mother. I halted my shutting down of the lab and motioned him to join me by the table, there was no need to say anything, we both knew why he was here. He walked over to me and looked at me sheepishly, holding out his hands. ¨I know I should stop doing this, but can you please check this one for Loki?¨

In his hands was a fascinating green Gecko, with a slight iridescence to his skin, faint yellow, almost golden marks on the tail, and wonderful black eyes which I could almost swear were staring into my very soul. ¨Where did you find him?¨ I asked, extending my hands to carry the small reptile.

¨In the training room, almost squished him after a romp with the Good Captain, and after he ran away it wasn't easy to catch him, trust me,¨ he confessed.

I did my usual thing, touching the Gecko and calling forth my Seidr, not getting my hopes too high up, just in case it turned out to be another disappointment. Hoewever, the moment my Seidr went through him I met resistance, unlike other occasions where it would go through the subject and cause it to run away, seeking shelter from the foreign feeling. My mouth opened on a gasp, could it be? I pushed the magic energy a little further until the Gecko finally flinched and ran from my grasp, Thor catching him before he fell over the edge of my table.

¨What is it?¨ he asked after capturing the critter once again, handing him back to me.

I gave him a false smile, ¨nothing, nothing at all, it's just that this creature is very exquisite, he has a very nice green color,¨ I told him, examining the animal in my hands once again. Truth be told, there was something odd about it that I couldn't confirm yet, but I didn't want to give Thor too much hope, I couldn't bear building up his expectations only to bring them down. ¨Why don't you go finish your training and I'll take care of this little guy¨

¨Very well then,¨ he walked towards the door, ¨I promise this was the last one, it's about time I finished burdening you and your Seidr with such menial tasks¨ he said, the disappointment clear in his voice.

¨It's no foolish task to be looking for him, you know that,¨ I soothed, ¨go finish beating Rogers up, it'll clear your head.¨

I dismissed a glum Thor out of my lab and sent him up to the training floor. I wanted to try out something else with the tiny beast before setting him loose, I had a slight suspicion that I wanted to follow up on.

I found a box that was lying next to my work area and huddled up some old newspapers to put the Gecko on. Truth be told, I had felt a tinge of energy coming from him when I first examined him with my Seidr, but since it was so weak, there was no way I could tell the blonde warrior this without him bringing out the welcome committee and rolling out a red carpet for the late second prince of Asgard, mainly because if it didn't result as I was expecting, I would rip his heart out. I placed the Gecko on the bundle of papers and carried him out of the lab and to my rooms.

Due to the circumstances and I didn't want Stark all over me for keeping the sticky guy in the tower, I figured an early dinner would be the best option, going up to my floor I called Friday to have my food prepared and brought over to the living area. Eating the hot italian food I kept hearing the papers rustling from the movement of the animal wanting to get out of the box, all the while keeping it next to me.

¨Sorry little guy, you're stuck with me tonight¨ I consoled him. I could've sworn he understood me somehow.

After dinner I took the box over to my bedroom and placed it on my dresser, it had been enough stalling and I nedeed to get an answer now. I called forth my Seidr once again and put my hand directly on the green reptile. ¨Ok, this is gonna feel uncomfortable, but hang in there and I promise if it's not you I'll let you go in the morning, I don't really want to explain to the team why I was leaving the tower in the middle of the night to let a random animal loose ¨ I told him, feeling him squirm under my hand, ¨look at me, talking to a reptile in my rooms in the dead of night, I must look really sane right now ¨

I once again felt the magic flow through me and to the animal under my hand, I felt him moving even more, trying to get away and scurry over to freedom. Suddenly I felt a very strong energy coming from him clashing with my own energy, promting me to hold him still with my Seidr. A small explosion of green light came forth from my palm which caused me to let go of the gecko in shock, who went and hid in the corner of the box, nestling himself under the papers as much as he could. I had never been able to call upon my Seidr like that, it was like it was being channeled TO me and not THROUGH me. But alas, my green companion stayed the same. ¨All right, you're moving out tomorrow, rest as much as you want now ¨

I got ready for bed with a shower, teeth brushing and hair combing as was my routine. I lay on the bed looking straight up into the ceiling, contemplating how I would begin to cope with the fact that Loki was, in fact, gone.I knew on some level that he was gone, but Thor bringing me the specimens for inspection gave me a false sense of hope that I'd find him at some point. I felt the tightening in my chest and did nothing to stop the tears from falling out of the corners of my eyes, I cried freely but silently and let myself drift into a deep slumber, as sleep gently overtook me, I heard the gecko moving in the distance, the sounds of the papers rustling going to the back of my mind.

That night, as had grown to be the norm, I dreamt I held Loki in my arms. He smiled at me, in my dream we were in his chambers, the ones he resided in while living in Asgard. His ebony black hair cascading loosely around his shoulders, I could practically smell the oil he prefered to style it with. His nose brushing against mine, and the faint coolness of his breath mingling with mine, our lips barely touching. His own natural scent filling my nostrils with the subtle aroma of something almost cold, like mint. It was enough to send me into a delirious state, he always did have the best effect on me.

¨I miss you¨ I said, leaning my forehead against his.

¨I know, darling, I miss you too¨ he answered with a sad tone in his voice, ¨I'll do what I can to be with you again.¨

¨Promise?¨

¨Promise,¨ he swayed me gently from side to side, ¨but you have to wake up, the world needs you and your beautiful mind¨

¨I don't wanna go,¨ I told him with tears falling down my cheeks, staring directly into his green eyes.

¨You'll be fine, you know I'm always with you¨ he soothed.

¨Shut up you cheesy fool¨ I joked.

He kissed me softly, it felt so real. His thin lips against mine and his arms around me, my own hands wrapping around his neck, not willing myself to deepen it, knowing in the back of my mind that upon waking the nostalgia would hit me like a fright train.

When I finally willed myself to let him go, he was grinning from ear to ear.

¨Come darling, I'll walk you out¨ he ushered me towards the door, his hand resting on my the small of my back. Norns, it felt like he was there next to me, his natural musk filling my nostrils, his body next to mine. I walked out the door and where there was supposed to be a palace hallway, was Stark's lab, before I turned around to see him, he had vanished.

I woke up with a slight jolt, my back turned to the rest of the bed and thus, the room; I had no reason to have such a big mattress, Stark was spoiling me a little too much. My dream replayed over and over in my head, Loki's kiss still haunting my lips. Sleep reclaimed me quickly and while I lay on the bed, I tried as much as I could to recall the moments I spent with Loki on Asgard, memories flooding my mind. From the first time we met, to becoming friends, and when we both found out the other one could weild Seidr, something Thor was not too happy with, to becoming a young couple, sneaking kisses and caresses whenever we could, trying not to get caught by either of our parents.

Before long, I fell back into a dreamless sleep.

Come morning I woke to find that the other side of the bed was rustling. A hand wrapped softly around my waist, it felt terrifying yet also familiar, and also cold through my nightgown. I instictively leant into the embrace, not being able to pull myself away from it, I knew on some level that I was still dreaming and I would have to wake up soon but I wanted to cherish this moment with the figure lying behind me, holding me in his arms. He held me tighter, after a few moments I realized that the embrace felt extremely real. I soon came to the conclusion that I was not dreaming but this was, in fact, actually happening.

I quickly turned around and faced him, he was there. He was there with me, in my bed, his arms around me; and he was still asleep. His face was just as I remembered it, his eyelids hiding his beautiful green eyes, his regal and arched nose breathing in and out softly, and his mouth slightly open, it was like he had never left, he was pressed still against me, I was with him face to face once more.

¨You're here? you're real?¨ I asked faintly with tears in my eyes, my hands reaching out to nervously touch his face, as if afraid that he would disappear if I did.

He woke up, looking into my eyes with a big smile and speaking in a groggy voice, ¨I'm here¨ he answered, placing some of my hair behind my ear, looking at me with a tender gaze.

¨How? he grabbed you, I saw it, it was ho-¨ I declared, pulling slightly away from his arms and sitting up, now crying freely.

¨Shh darling, yes, it happened, but I'm here with you now, thanks to my big oaf of a brother, and I'm not going anywhere¨he soothed me, sitting up with me, wiping my tears away, his own eyes becoming watery.

He sprung forward and hugged me as tight as he could muster, tears cascading down both his face and mine, I couldn't believe I was holding him once more, he was here, and he wasn't going anywhere. Words weren't necessary, we were together again, I pushed my lips against his and kissed him as passionately as I could, his mouth brushing against mine, his tongue finding mine not long after, gently massaging it, and moaning into my mouth, he still tasted like mint. I kissed him until oxygen became a necessity, and only then did I let go. We both laid back down on the bed, I couldn't let him go for dear life, we stayed in each others embrace until I lost track of time, exchanging sweet caresses and kisses, there would enough time to get acquainted in other ways later.

Suddenly, realisation hit me like a brick wall, ¨Wait, it was you?¨ I pointed to the box where I had placed the Gecko, ¨you were the lizard?¨

He chuckled, ¨if we're getting technical, darling, it was a gecko, and thanks to you transfering energy to me I was able to transform back into my old self¨

¨How did Thor know to look for you that way?¨ I asked, curiosity winning me over. ¨He spent months hunting out every green animal he could to bring them over to me, I never asked him why though¨

¨Don't you remember? That time I turned into a snake and when he picked me up I transformed back and stabbed him?¨ he asked.

I laughed reminiscing back to that day, Loki earned himself quite an earful from his parents, ¨Makes sense,¨ Thor knew that old habits die hard.

¨But you're here, you're back¨, I hugged him, ¨not to mention that we're gonna have a very happy Thor on our hands when he finds out, ¨ I declared.

Loki looked at me with a wondering look in his eyes, ¨he really spent months looking through every animal? I gotta hand it to my witless oaf of a brother¨

¨Like a madman, I must say I'm very happy he did so, I would've loved to find you sooner though¨ I answered.

He kissed me, ¨do you think I should've transformed and stabbed him again?¨