Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kise remembered when they first met.

It wasn't anything miraculous, anything, fantastical, and honestly, it shouldn't have stayed with him the way it did. Their meeting shouldn't have been more than just that, a meeting, a greeting and then an ending, with them leaving, no more than a couple words shared between them-

However, it wasn't. It wasn't, it couldn't have been, even if Kise knew now that it should've been just that. That was where it should've ended, with that simple greeting, and Kise shouldn't have given it any more thought-

But Kise couldn't resist, couldn't give in to the temptation which slivered under his skin and made his heart thump in his chest-

He knew it right away, as he glanced back to that cheerful, heart-breaking grin, to those sparkling, indigo eyes-

He knew it was clear that Aomine was the only one for him. He was free and fed the gasses which helped Kise's sun burn and react. The thought plagued him still, even years later. When he went to sleep, when he felt the bumps of a basketball between his fingers, spun the ball on his finger, he couldn't be rid of the sight, it was scarred in his memory, and he could still feel the imprint of the ball at the back of his head, metaphorically, of course- 

Even as Aomine didn't look in his direction anymore, didn't tell Kise that he loved him anymore.

He still remembered the scorching touches, the rivers- No, torrents of lava which spilt down his skin and made the volcano in his heart erupt-

It was always liked that in the beginning, and Kise could never forget, even as he sat there in their bedroom, Aomine's shampoo still lingering in his hair despite the lack of indigo-

Kise was in love with the concept that the smile was exclusively his, that Aomine kept in only for him, but of course, it wasn't, and that only hurt him all the more as he let Aomine walk away to the person who truly deserved it-

He didn't beg him to stay, didn't cry like he had done the thousands of times before- 

Because he loved him, he loved him, he loved him- 

Still, loved him.

Aomine was charismatic, magnetic-

He managed to pull everyone in which such a force that it knocked Kise off his feet, made his head spin as he just observed the whirlpool of emotions which would transcend across the room, observe the ripple effect every time Aomine opened his mouth-

He would watch as the circles would expand, more and more forming which each plummeting rock.

Everybody knew Aomine was electric, an impulse which couldn't be avoided no matter how much you tried. The fire in his eyes was a gun, a bullet which was fired by an itchy-trigger-finger yet never failed to miss its targets. And, that was because it never had to aim, never had to measure and quantify-

The targets just lined up.

When he walked in, everybody's head turned, everybody tried to talk to him-

He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself and didn't even try to, like an animal, raw and primal with the emotions which he never tried to hide, was never ashamed of. Like an intrusive thought, one which arrived without premise yet didn't leave no matter what distraction techniques are used-

That was Aomine Daiki. A storm in the ordinary, extraordinary, raging and roaring and powerful- A moon which allowed that to happen.

Lying next to him on the rooftop was like taking a sip of eternity, drinking and soaking in the sights, the smells, the soft yet firm rumble of his solid chest-

Aomine had that something which made him so special, so intoxicating, a sweet poison which Kise eagerly sipped from with trembling thighs and an exposed throat, with Aomine's eyebrows scrunched in concentration-

But then as the years went by they were faced with more challenges, more events which made the ocean stop, and in turn, Kise couldn't handle the breathlessness in his chest all alone anymore. He couldn't handle not being able to see that full glorious moon anymore which had always been there, which he had always been looking at.

He watched as Aomine had crumbled, held his hand as the male tried to hold back tears, followed behind him like a good puppy should, always there to be pet and provide comfort, always and always there-

Because he loved Aomine, and always would, even when Haizaki told him to give up, told him to be a good pup and open his mouth, to do as he's told and never see the tanned male again- 

Kise ignored the warnings, and continued to approach Aomine, continued to follow and follow- 

The pain was nothing compared to the emptiness in Aomine's eyes. 

 Kise grabbed Aomine's arm in the corridor, forcing him to turn around with a smile.

Desperation laced its tender fingers around his throat like a noose as he choked back a scream.

"Play one on one with me Aominecchi!"

Please.

"I'm trying to get better for him- I'm trying to help- I'm trying- I'm trying-," his voice cracked as he looked in the mirror of the changing rooms, his knee in agony and jostling under his skin as he gripped the skin harder, boiling tears spilling down his cheeks only further adding to his desperation for Aomine to help soothe his pain again-

"I'm just not good enough."

Then the crevasse in Aomine's expression grew deeper outside of their cave of wonders, his eyes grew more closed, the fire still burned but was hidden by and O-zone which wouldn't like the outside warm as hot as it should've-

Kise always got the sense that Aomine had become torn between being himself and playing a role which would stop him from facing his hurt any longer, even when the light blue sky would beg him to stay, beg the moon to return so that the tides could ripple again and waves could crash-

"Aomine-kun- Please!"

"I said no, Tetsu!"

Kise tried too, burned brighter, licked the surface more, limped increasingly, tried to keep up behind Aomine and watch him shine brightly, all of them, actually-

He tried to explain that playing the role meant that he was missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him, that a time would come when maybe there would be a brighter sun than Kise, one which could cause Aomine the blaze in the night sky. 

"Aominecchi, you'll discover someone better than me- Someone who will burn brighter, make your heart thump with excitement in your chest as you thunder across basketball court- You'll see-"

He'd tried to bite down the tears in his voice as he'd sat down next to his friend, fingering his fingers through the ocean which he so desperately wanted to sink into-

"And you won't have to hurt so much anymore- You won't have to be in so much pain for being unbeatable, for feeling so lonely in such a vast world filled with promise and chance-"

But, he couldn't do that, not anymore, not when he had finally realised the distance between them-

"So cheer up, okay? All it takes is a slight of hand for you to realise what you're missing."

Kise didn't wipe the tear away when he leaned forward and pressed one last kiss to the sleeping Aomine's forehead, savouring the moment under the murky sky-

It was too heartbreaking.

 It hurt when Kise proved himself to be right when he watched the blazing eyes of the man he loved as red and blue clashed on the basketball court. 

They hadn't known he was there, and he didn't let them, even when the sky watched him with sad eyes, begged him to take a step forward-

He couldn't do it, couldn't interrupt that delightful balance. It wouldn't be fair, not when Aomine was finally smiling like that, was finally grinning and feral, allowing his fire to spark on the surface again as his opponent grinned brightly in return, reaching forward to take the ball before Aomine shot in that beautiful, formless way he always did. 

That was because he knew, he always had done, even when Aomine had held him with those calloused hands, whispered sweet nothings into his ear as they gazed at the stars, at Aomine's other half- 

In that way, Kise understood why he had to leave him that night, without looking back, without turning once last time. 

It was because he loved him, and he understood Aomine better than anyone else-

Nobody would understand more than Kise, just how in love Aomine was with Kagami Taiga.