Archive of Our Own ^beta

"a seance"

and he tries to keep the anxiety he feels churning in his gut out of his voice,tries to brush aside the pang of betrayal that comes with it , this , this is his own doing after all ,the one thing bozer and riley still don't know about him

jack is the only one present that knows what could happen if he walks in that room and sits down at that table , the thought has his body giving a small shutter , and jack going tenses behind him , he takes a deep breath, puts a strained smile on his face and says calmly instead

"isn't that kind of a Halloween thing ? why do one now ,its..only august"

"yeah we know mac " riley cuts in "but you heard matty , things have been non stop at work , we need this night out as a team , and what better reminder to appreciate the living then of our own mortality " and at this she throws in a dramatic face and sway of her hands, bozer waste no time backing her up "i know your nerd brain will see right through it , but its the experience dude , i mean i heard this lady is good , she dresses up , and even does it in this Victorian Gothic style room ! its the art of it !"

mac knows hes frowning again ,can tell by the looks on their faces , but he cant help it "we wont be the only ones there , it's an event , they'll be at least 5 other people not including us " and riley says it with such hope , like the thing shes trying to sway is the scientist in him , not the fact that mac could have god knows how many souls trying to slitter into him if "madam mims" ..invitation is taken seriously

no, mac thinks cynically , riley doesn't need to convince him , spirits are one thing he knows are very real

he just likes to pretend they aren't

but their right , things have been non stop at work , jonah walsh escaped ,AGAIN , murdoc seems to be playing his own twisted version of hide and seek , and nicholas helmans body has strangely been ..misplaced , tho mac suspects far more to it then that , after all he never did see any ghoul roaming around with 6 gun holes in his chest

he takes a deep breath , feels the warmth of jack behind him seep onto his own skin at his back, and knows without a doubt that if worst comes to worst jack will have it , just as he always has ,and it steels his resolve ,makes the words he doesn't feel easier on his tongue

"sure ..why not "

the excited smiles on their faces almost chase the chills away

almost

he follows them into a building , down a hallway into a new room , and that's one thing mac will have to give the woman ,the room has its own magnificence ,covered in stone and velvet, burgundy drapes ascent the sturdy vintage wooden round table at its center ,even the lights are working oil lamps built into the walls and a fire place roars encased in a brick mantel, a perfect Victorian replica , and he fights a feeling of foreboding as hes led towards the center table , and the woman sitting behind it

its a full house ,just like riley said, there are 5 people besides themselves , and not a chair is left empty as their all invited to sit, the woman herself looks perfectly in place in her own chair , her red curly hair is done up in an old style bun and her dress is lace and vintage with glittering accents that shine in the orange hues cast by the flames at her back

a man whose clearly an assistant walks over to a round switch , and the lights dim around them , draping the room in furthers shadows ,and mac shivers as she finally speaks , her voice assented and airy in the silence of the room

"i ask for forbearance..i ask you all, to..suspended your disbelief "

her eyes are as dark as the room , and as his anxiety rises further, mac thinks he might have just been tempted even without the next order given

"now, everyone please join hands "

jack , is of course beside him , and he waste no time in taking the offered hand and being unable to resist grasping it far more tightly then is necessary , jack squeezes back , and he takes it's small comfort , bozer and riley buzz excitedly to his right as riley jokes "i believe were about to commiun with the spirits " it makes bozer chuckle , and inspires mac to try his best to calm down

the 3 people who are across from him hesitate to do the same , they take each-others hands as if the task is a great chore , despite the fact they came in and were on the street together and have stayed that way since , mac would dissect the fact more , but madam mim speaks up again

"let your minds be liberate my friends, roam with me , even into the timeless darkness " and her voice shifts , lowers and becomes a hiss , coaxing , as if to seduces and invite , it makes his breath deeper , has him hanging on to jacks hand for dear life as the man himself glances sideways at him , worry written in his eyes

"i call to any who need to speak , i call to the dead ,come to me "

"come to me "

its as good a invitation as any , even if he himself hasn't given it -a lo-pole he truly hates - and he feels it , sees it coming in his minds eye before it happens , it does nothing to stop the jolt as something bitter and not of him , crawls into his skin and tries to make itself at home, and his body folds forward so heavily in shock that he nearly slams his head on the table

instead he catches himself just so , ends up hunched inhumanly over it to a chorus of gasps , he hasn't let go of jack and rileys hands , and he tries to anchor himself uses them as a tether for his mind , the spirit will have none of it

its not like in the movies , his bones don't crack and his limbs don't turn out of place , but the soul still twist his body back upright inhumanly fast , theres a mirror in the corner above the 3s heads and mac can see out of the corner of his eye that his own have turned a warm shade of brown instead of his own cobalt blue ,further confirming his body is not his own at the moment , after all the shift in color happens every time

still the shade of brown is...strangely familiar

people are still gasping around him , the spirit lifts his head and body back up to siting , and mac tries to focus back in properly as the spirit moves macs eyes back to the 3 people sitting across from him , and inside his mind mac jolts

there are certain powers that come with being a morrigan and having the dead slitter in and out of you ,like, mac can feel what the dead feel , know what the dead know ..see what the dead see

and what this soul knows sends a shiver down macs spine , he can see them now through the disguises, he should of before , but he sees it with the souls eyes now clearly as they center on that same shade of brown , and the face of nicholas helman stars back at him, murdoc and walsh sitting to his left , and mac would panic , question further if he had the time

but his mouth begins to twist, lips moving as if the spirit is trying to remember how , and the voice that burst from him when it does comes out as that of a small young girl

"father " she hisses "oh father of mine "

and as feelings not his own wash over him , mac gets a better feel for her , reconciles the pain and bitter petulance only a child could feel , and horror begins to bubble in him at the thought of reliving that pain with her

and oh she doesn't disappoint , reenacts her death before the mans eyes as only a scorned child can

"father , wheres mother ?" and next to helman murdoc actually has the heart to look mildly uncomfortable and ..surprised ,"why are we running father why are we leaving ? and mac feels his breath quicken along with the girls , his body throws itself back in the chair and it creeks hard as he gasps and clasps jack and rilys hands to his chest "we've lost all our things ,all the sands destroyed it , how will we survive ? im NOT afraid father im not , i love you i trust you "

mac is clouded with the girls emotions , sees the past unfolding before him as the spirit tells it , and the horror and unease kick up a notch inside him as helman struggles to stop himself from falling apart across from him, trembling and eyes water

"ow , father iv cut my leg on something hard , its bad , im bleeding , oh god im bleeding! im sorry!! we need help , but the towns so far and i cant go on im sick ! is it infection ? father it hurts " and its true it does , mac feels all of it himself as he bleeds and swells in infection with her  "we need help , we need help , ill stay in the shelter father you go ! will you find it ? will you come back for me !?"

and the souls panic turns back to that bitterness , it rises to over flowing , turns to anger that mac sees reflected on his own face in helmans shining eyes ,the fire dies and the candles snuff out as he leans forward and shouts with all her rage in an inhuman voice

"goo!"

the room is draped in further darkness , and the girl slides macs body back to once more rest a pone the chair exhausted , but shes not done yet ,the rage turns to overwhelming sorrow, and the tears are not just hers when they prick his eyes "ill see you soon , wont i father ? father~ " a lullaby that only bring pain now floats in her memory and she rolls his eyes to look up ,as if to a sky that's not there in prayer ,as she brings it to his lips

"you are my sunshine -you make me happy when-s-sky are gra-y " and the tear finally leeks from his cast upward eyes as he begins to die with her "i am ..cold a-and..weaK- " his eyes roll back down to face helman again and the same shade of brown reflect there own guilt and pain , it paints them wet with tears the man hasn't dared to shed

" the sand-burns..its so hot father , and i..i was sooo thirsty " the tears cant be kept in now and helman seems to forget the people sitting next to him , as the boy speaking with his dead child's voice holds his focus , and macs horror boils over  as the final piece of what happened comes together as the girl speaks

"you wanted to kill him-and you know i was dying ..didnt you father " and oh , oh how mac sees it now ,sees helman faced with his dying child in the middle of the desert , no food or water as infection drains her dry , while the need for revenge against that man who might as well have taken mother and daughter both fills him, mac sees it in the way a dying girl left behind and filled with pain in only the way a child can , would never be able to see

it does nothing to quill the sorrow and disgust that mingle in the center of his ribs

the girl takes greedy breaths through macs lungs , and asks like she'll die if she doesn't know "is that-why? is that why you never came back for me ?" helman is still trying priestly to hold himself together , and mac sees out of the corner of his eye that murdoc is turned towards him , a look mac cant discern on his face as helman holds the mans attention

but helman , helman cant seem to bear to give an answer , and as if scenting this , the girls soul gives a heavy sigh before slipping from him like water rolling over glass , and he heaves with his own sigh as for a moment  his body trembles with its new found freedom , he'd lost rileys hand at some point , but jack still clasps his right hand in his own , hasn't let him go for a moment , and it tightens around him as macs body jolts again

something much angrier forces its way inside him , and mac feels the violation all the way down to his core , but this spirit isn't like the girls , it waste no time as it twist his head right up for black eyes to lock with murdoc , who has turned back to mac, looks as uneasy as mac has ever seen him , the voice of a man strong and angry booms impossibly from his mouth

"you just couldn't just do it to me could you ? you had to do it in front of me , he was so young, barely a child " and murdocs unease turns to full on stricken , and mac can see why as the story unfolds in his head , the man takes macs un held hand and grasps the edge of the table until the knuckles are white , and rounds on murdoc further

"you cruel , cruel CREATURE !! you thought it was funny didn't you ? killing my son in front of me" and murdoc doesn't dare to answer , his own chest is starting to heave and his eyes have grown to that wideness that makes him look inhuman, as the man in macs body laughs bitter and full of petulance

"oh , but you get it now , don't you ?" dread builds in macs gut as he sees its helman's turn to glance to the side, eye brow raised as murdoc squirms in his chair "you understand NOW , little cassain~ " the spirit hisses "it'd be a shame if something happened to him wouldn't it !!"

and macs had enough , he fights with all he has  and pushes both in mind and body , until the spirit is forced from him in the same fashion it forced its way in ,and he falls back in his seat ,drained , he wants to leave ,he wants to get up and walk out of this god forsaken room that not a soul has dared to move in as hes been tormented , and jack moves , ever the loving protector to help him do just that

but his exhaustion makes it to easy , to easy for the last ghoul to slide right into him like a pair of fucking pants, and it wrenches his hand out of jacks own with strength he didnt know he had left , hordes it in macs own lap so jack will have to sit back down to grab it , witch he does without hesitation , but the ghoul twist mac at an inhuman angle to look at him

a warning

if jack wants him undamaged he wont grab for macs hand , not until shes had her say , shes the most damaged of the bunch herself , her hate and darkness overwhelming , she twist his head back in the same inhuman way ,rolls his eyes to the ceiling ,but he doesn't need to see to know her words are meant for jonah , she keeps twisting him around  further as she speaks

"i wonder ? when did you decide you were going to kill me ? was it before , or after your fucking ?" jonahs exhale fills the silenced room as the thing inside him twist his face back down properly to lock eyes with the man , and he sees in the mirror a distinctive shade of green staring back at him , jonah looks horrified at the sight , but mac smiles bitterly and laughs with a foreign woman's voice

"that girl ? no , the other one " and walsh -the only one so far- moves to get up and leave , but the woman slams macs hands on the table top with inhuman power and the wood of it breaks and splinter in uncountable pieces under his finger tips ,cuts into his palms to have blood well up to mingle with ragged edges , she shrikes at him in the growl of a wolf

"noo !!!"

and walsh freezes still in his seat, makes no more moves but heaving breaths far to loud in the room , but it satisfies her , she giggles as she brings macs finger to his lips drags it down in a way that's borderline sexual as she shushes him and rolls his neck in a way only a female can , it has murdocs eyes lingering and trailing in a way he doesn't like , or wouldn't if it were actually possible for him to feel anymore violated

"when did you know you wanted her , did you have fun pretending to love her after you'd killed me , you had fun fucking her afterwards " and she turns positively giddy as he practically breaks in front of her "oh ? you didnt know.. i saw that " the growl in her voice thickens and she stands with macs body , toppling the chair to clatter to the floor behind them , and she climbs on the table to crawl at walsh , slamming macs hands into the table top with every step , he barely feels it as the splintered pieces stab to make new cuts into his palms ,crippled by a completely different kind of pain as she screams at him

"you man , you animal , creature , BETRAYER !!!!" and mac finally gets it ,as he's relived every story with them , why theses souls out of all the souls that could have crawled into his body , were the ones that did

the father who lost his wife and ran with his secret child into a "shortcut" in a desert to escape a country that no longer exists , only to abandon her to die there in that same country, to go after the man that killed the former

the assassin who killed sons in front of their fathers without thought , until he had one of his own and couldn't bear to repeat it

the man who was hired to kill a woman with pretty green eyes , only to fall in love with those same eyes that stared back at him through the eyes of her sister

theses are the mistakes that actually managed to touch them ,theses the sins that brought theses 3 men the most shame , laid bare and striped for all to see in this room , its in this moment the woman reaches a fever pitch using macs tongue to speak words he doesn't understand , a voice screams to rise above the noise strained and cracking

"MAC"

and the spell is broken , and his body collapses to kneeling on the table ,used but empty, and he lifts his head to look at the people still gaping around him , the 3 men staring at him in a new light , unable to look away at the truth hes just thrown in there faces , the boy scouts not such a boy scout after all

he turns finally to face jack ,his savoir , who's chest is still heaving from his scream and catches bozer and riley in his peripheral, and suddenly the room is to suffocating , is smothering him , he climes down from the table , graceless , doesn't look at anyone this time as he speed walks from the room and slams the door behind him ,he makes it to the street, water soaking into his hair and cloths as it storms mercilessly over head

he hears jacks running footsteps even over the roar of the rain .