Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He feels his presence everywhere. He knows Steve’s always around, looking after him wherever he goes, like a silent shadow, a guardian angel trying to protect him, either he wants it or not. And Bucky definitely doesn’t.

It goes on for weeks until, tired of pretending he’s not aware of Steve costantly stalking him, Bucky finally reacts to this.

One day he shoves him against the wall of a blind alley, so rough it cracks under Steve’s weight.

"You have to stop it. Stop following me. What is it that you want?"

"I want my friend back." the answer is so simple, yet so hard for him to understand. He doesn’t remember this man, he can’t be his friend, he’s suppose to kill him. He should have killed him already. And yet he didn’t.

"I can’t be who you want me to be, I’m not the guy you knew. Your Bucky’s dead."

His metal fist closes tight on Steve’s shirt, breath heavy, cold blue eyes gazing upon his mouth hesitantly. There’s something familiar in it.

"Whoever I was, it doesn’t matter. I’m not your friend. Not anymore."

There’re few minutes of silence, and Bucky hopes he’s taken the hint by now.

"You’re not now, but you will be eventually." Steve says, determination thick in his voice, a stubborn attitude Bucky feels he recognizes. He’s seen it so many times before, he just doesn’t remember it.

"I won’t give up on you. I let you fall off that cliff once but I’m here now, and I’m ready to pick you up this time."

He grabs Bucky’s face with both hands, the unexpected touch making him startle.

"I am right on your side, Bucky. and as long as we’re togheter we can fix this. You may not believe me now, but someday you will."

Steve struggles against his desire to pull Bucky closer, to hug him tight as he always used to. He lets Bucky go, and he just walks away. But Steve’s not going too far; as he just said, he’s not gonna quit Bucky, that’s never gonna happen.

Chapter Text

He hasn’t seen Steve in days despite what the man said last time they bumped into each other. Bucky felt relieved at first, finally not having to watch his back constantly, but with days passing bye he started missing Steve’s presence. He’s feeling alone. Again. He’s nothing new for him, he’s been alone for so long. He says to himself that’s ok, but it’s not.

He really misses the man. That man who said he would always be by his side, no matter what. He was so confused when this conversation happened, confused by Steve’s passionate words, by the determined look in his eyes and by his hands pressed hard on his cheecks, keeping him in place. Bucky never liked to be touched, being touched hurts so much, it causes nothing but pain as he learned over the years. But that felt so different from anything he has felt before, it was… warm. Sweet. It made him crave for more.

Bucky walks by the street, hiding under a hoodie, hands in his pockets, looking everywhere but seeing nothing. There’s a parade. It’s not just any parade, it’s dedicated to the americans favorite hero, The Captain.

There’s an enormous crowd filling the streets, they wear stupid masks and costumes, they all yell “Hooray for Captain America!”. They laugh, they jump in place looking at the giant float resembling their hero.

Bucky just stands there in a corner, far from the noisy people, thinking about him. Looking for him into the crowd.

"Are you looking for someone?"

A voice, above all the loud simphony of laughs and chit-chat makes him turn around. Steve’s right behind him, he’s wearing common clothes and his face’s hidden under a baseball cap and sunglasses. Bucky stares silently, trying to calm down his heart which is beating faster now.

"Not at all." he replies bluntly, hiding his surprise.

"You sure? You seemed pretty concentrate."

Steve smiles. Bucky’s kind of fascinated by the sweet smile in the other man’s face, so genuine and gentle, and a little smug. He looks pleased, God knows why.

"I thought you said you would stick around, but I haven’t seen you in weeks." he says, coldly.

"The fact you didn’t see me doesn’t mean I was not around."

So that was it, Steve did not disappear. He just learned how to spy on him witouth being noticed.

“Did you miss me?” Steve asks, smiling in a silly yet cute way.

“Shut up.”

Suddenly a kid playing with a frisbee that looks just like Captain America’s shield runs torward them and bumps into Bucky, falling to the ground like he’s just hit a big wall. Bucky turns around with a killer look in his eyes, before he realizes it’s just an unarmed kid. He offers his hand to the kid to lift him up then, the movement causing his sleeve to rise up a little on his arm, showing the metal under it. The kid just stares with a frightened look before his mom runs to them and grabs him like he’s about to be eaten by a rabid dog. They both move away fast.

Bucky feels all of himself shradded in pieces for no reason. That’s it, that’s the signal he has to go away and leave the goddamn place. This is no place for a freak like him.

He’s ready to leave but Steve, who’s watched the whole scene, reaches for him in no time .

"Wait, where are you going!"

"Away!" Bucky barks not stopping from walking, he’s mad, he’s furious. He’s sick of himself. For what he is. An abomination. He shouldn’t walk among normal people like this, he’s a dangerous killer, more like a monster.

Steve stands in front of him fast and nimbly, forcing him to stop. Bucky holds himself from pushing him off his way.

"Ok, I get it why you wanna leave. But why… why don’t you come at my place. We can have a beer. Maybe talk."

"I don’t wanna talk." he says quickly.

"What about the beer. You didn’t say anything about the beer." he’s smiling, little timid. "Don’t tell me you don’t want that either."

Bucky tries his best to stay serious, but his lips shift into an almost invisible smile. Steve is certanly trying his best to succed, he has to admire the effort.

"People say it’s better not to talk to strangers nor follow them" he replies,

Steve wants to say he is no stranger to him, but he keeps quiet and swallow that.

"I think that doesn’t count when you’re strong enough to protect yourself from them."

It takes Bucky just a few more seconds to accept the invitation and follow Steve out of the crowd to his car.

They don’t talk at all in the car. They don’t talk while entering the building and neither when they come into Steve’s apartment.

The place is ok, just a normal apartment Bucky guesses. He’s not really sure of what an apartment looks like, he’s been living into the Hydra base since he can remember, but this place looks good.
Steve grabs two cold beers from the fridge, then he invites him to sit on the couch. They sit there and still no one of them says a word. This is so embarassing Bucky wishes he was out hunting and killing targets instead.

Bucky sips his beer silently, feeling uncomortable. He’s starting to regret being here.

"I… I can’t." he whispers.

“You can’t what?” Steve asks frowning.

“This. I can’t do this. We’re just wasting time here.”

He starts liftin up from the couch.

Steve stretches out an arm, hand ready to grab his left metal wrist and that makes him stand up faster, too fast.

"Don’t!" he orders abruptly, looking away from him in discomfort.

"Don’t touch me. Never touch me." he says, making a few steps to increase the space between them.

Steve’s still on the couch, looking at him with his heartbroken face. Bucky’s not looking back, but he just knows what his expression looks like. He can’t stand it.

Before he can reach for the door Steve gets up and starts throwing the cushions on the floor with no apparent reason. Bucky stares confused.

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer, he puts on some music instead. It’s a soft jazz tune, early 40’s, coming out from a visibly old phonograph.

"Lay down with me." He says at last.

"What? Why?"

"Just…. just do it, please. Trust me."

Steve lays on the floor, and Bucky thinks this is just stupid. Why would he do this? He should leave right now! But he doesn’t. He imitates Steve and they’re both on the floor now, heads resting in the cushions, staring at the ceiling.

"We always layed on the floor like this everytime I’d crush at your place.”

Steve says, voice low, lost in the memories.

“We would listen to this very music and talk about everything. I mean, you talked. I was more of a listener.”

Bucky closes his eyes and he tryes, he tryes hard to remember it. But it’s all blank, there’s nothing before the cold and the tortures and the killing.

"I don’t remember." he says, as to apologize.

"It’s ok." Steve says.

“I’m just glad you’re here now.” And he really sounds glad.

Bucky still doesn’t understand. Why would anyone be happy to have him around? Steve should be horrified by him, just like that kid and his mother earlier in the street, just like everyone else he ever met. Yet Steve is the only one to treat him like a human being, like someone worth respect and affection.

They stop talking after that, both of them just listening to the music in an intimate and no more embarassing silence.

Chapter Text

Steve and Bucky lays on the floor for minutes, maybe half an hour, Steve doesn’t really know for how much exactly. What he knows is that he could stay this way for hours more, just laying there side by side with his long missed friend. This is the best he’s been since he woke up in the 21th century.

He turns his head to look at Bucky, his long dark hair are all sprawled on the cushion, and he barely manages to hold himself from stretching a hand and touch them. It looks like Bucky doesn’t care much about his look in these days, not enough to get an haircut or shave accurately at least. Steve likes it tho, he wants so bad to push his hands into those dark waves, running his fingers through them and pulling a little.

Bucky must have noticed he’s staring at him persistently, but he doesn’t move at all, breath steady and calm, gaze still on the ceiling above them.

He wishes Bucky said something. Anything. He’s been missing everything about him, his voice included. But it doesn’t matter, Steve’s happy as long as Bucky’s here with him, he still can’t believe this is really happening, he’s afraid he’ll soon wake up finding out this was just a dream.

Steve casually glances down at the metal arm hidden under Bucky’s long sleeved shirt, and he can’t help it but thinking about what Bucky must have been through, how he ended up like this. His mind works furiously making up the worst scenarios.

Steve breaks the long silence they’ve been sharing with a sudden question.

He knows he shouldn’t make that question, he’s just about to ruin the perfect, intimate moment they’re sharing but he just can’t hold himself.

“What did they do to you?”

He asks, voice low and unsteady.

He has to know what happened after Bucky fell off the train, whatever it is Bucky must tell him. He can’t even imagine what the Hydra have done to him, and the thougtht’s sickening him so much, he’s been thinking about it since he first saw Bucky on that bridge and not knowing is slowly killing him.

As he thought Bucky shifts uncomfortable at the question, his whole body visibly tensed. He turns his head looking back at Steve with ice cold eyes.

“Forget it. I mean, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m sorry.”

He says in the end, trying to apologize.

“I’m just… trying to understand.”

“Experiments.”

Bucky’s low voice surprises Steve who turns his head quickly only to see Bucky’s staring at the ceiling again, avoiding eye contact.

“They mostly made experiments on me. They did… things.”

Bucky seems to have difficulties in finding the right words to say, like he himself doesn’t really know what they did to him, apart from hurting and annihileting every inch of himself.

“It was painful, at first. But I got used to it, after a while.” he says with a bitter smile.

Steve doesn’t believe him. No one can get used to things like these. Bucky’s visibly broken, and he can hide it from anyone but Steve.

Even tho Bucky didn’t say much that’s enough for Steve to connect the dots and understand anything he’s been through.

“They brainwashed you and turned you into a killing machine.“

Steve says, and he doesn’t even notice his own fists closing so tight that his knuckles turn ghostly withe.

“Yes.”

Bucky looks so vulnerable right now. His lips tremble a little, enough for Steve to notice. He wants to pull him closer and hug him so bad, to conforte him and take all the pain away, but he knows Bucky would escape his touch like he did before.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I did this to you.”

He says, voice cracking and eyes wetting like he’s a damn girl.

Bucky sits and looks at him with a questioning look on his face.

“Nonsense. Hydra did this.”

He corrects Steve.

Steve stands slowly, he covers his eyes with his own hands avoiding Bucky’s gaze.

“It was my fault. It’s all my fault. I should have protect you better, like you always protected me.”

Bucky’s looking at him with a confused look, he can’t remember anything about Steve from the past so he doesn’t understand what he’s talking about.

“I am the one who let you fall off the train. I assumed you were dead, but you weren’t. They found you because I didn’t look enough for you. I let them take you.”

Steve’s shaking a bit, his hands still covering his shameful face from Bucky’s eyes. He doesn’t want to be seen like this.

Everything is so clear now, he’s the one who screwed everything up. If it wasn’t for him Bucky would have never suffered this hell, he would have lived a completely different life, he would’ve been safe.

Steve’s drowning so deep into his self-loathing that he doesn’t quite hear Bucky shifting in front of him, but when Bucky puts his right hand on his shoulder he startles. Raising his head slowly, he finally meets Bucky’s eyes, the man sitting on his knees just in front of him.

They don’t say a word, eyes locked in each others and Steve can’t believe that Bucky’s warm hand his resting on his shoulder.

He’s well aware that an insignificant movement can ruin everything and make Bucky run away, still he can’t help it. He slowly raises his hand, the movement deliberated slow so Bucky can avoid what’s coming next if he wants to. Bucky stays still, Steve can see how hard he’s struggling to do so, he’s fighting the urge to go away.

Steve’s hand manages his way to Bucky’s finally taking it, and he squeezes it, as gentle as only Steve Rogers can be.

The feeling is overwhelming, it’s nothing more than a brush of fingers on warm skin but Steve hears his own hearth bumping so heavy and loud under his rib cage for the emotion, like it’s about to explode. He’s just so full of joy he could really cry.

“Bucky.”

He whispers, his voice almost desperate. He’d want to grab Bucky’s face in both hands and press his lips hard on Bucky’s, he’s never wanted anything more in his life.

“Don’t call me that.”

Despite the words Bucky sounds calm, his hand still on Steve’s shoulder.

“And you better stop saying bullshit. What I am has nothing to do with you. Got it?”

Steve wants to disagree, but the severe look on Bucky’s face makes him change his mind. He doesn’t want to get in an argument with him, not right now.

“What should I call you then?” he asks.

Bucky pulls back his hand and a whine almost escapes from Steve’s lips. He’s already missing the warm sensation.

“There’s no need to call me. I’m here.”

Bucky’s reply is ironic, or at least it sounds ironic to Steve, and somehow it reminds him of the old cheerful Bucky he once knew. He smiles, but there’s a sudden sense of sadness and fear as he sees Bucky’s standing up.

“Please don’t go.” Steve says without even thinking, standing right before him.

“I mean, you can stay for the night. The couch is not that bad.”

He feels like a complete idiot right now, he’s acting like one but it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t want him to leave. He wants Bucky to stay, to be there in the morning when he wakes up. He can’t lose his friend again, he needs him.

Bucky glances at the couch, he’s not used to such comfort, he spent the last years into a place more similar to a prison than anything. He’s not quite sure what to do. He really wants to stay, he’s enjoying Steve’s company, but on the other hand he’s not sure this is a good idea.

“I think I should go.”

Steve can’t hide his disappointment for the declined invitation.

“Please.” He says softly, almost a whisper. He doesn’t care if he looks desperate.

“Where do you have to go? It’s late, and if you’re planning to kill anyone I’m sure that can wait till tomorrow.” He says with a light smile.

“I’m thinking of killing you actually, if you don’t stop it with your crap.” Bucky replies, grumpy.

“You’ll have more luck doing it while I’m sleeping, don’t you think?” He suggests.

“So that’s it, you’re staying for the night!” the smile on Steve’s face his so big he could light the entire room.

Bucky grimaces but he surrender at last. The cushions are replaced on the couch and Steve leaves him to sleep, looking way happier than he should be having a treat like that under his own roof.

Chapter Text

A few hours later Steve’s in his bed, the darkness sourrinding his bedroom. The apartment is completely silent but he can’t sleep. He’s being turning in bed for hours now, trapping himself into the sheets, the thought of Bucky in the next room keeping  him fully awake and excessively euphoric.  He can’t stop thinking about what happened earlier, about Bucky’s hand on his shoulder and the moment he took it in his own. The situation between them is so messed up, he knows it’s gonna be hard to get things back as they used to be but after that he’s got new hope, he truly believes there’s a change for them to be friends again. The guy he once knew is still in there, he just have to dig deeper enough to let him out.

Bucky’s got pretty much the same problems. He’s not a heavy sleeper, he hardly sleeps at night  and not nearly enough. In the last hours he’s tried hard to remember anything about his past and his head is hurting so bad for the effort. He finally gives up, he closes his eyes and tries to relax.

Before he realizes it he’s fallen asleep, and so is Steve, who let the tiredness take over himself.

The quiet silence of the night is interrupted by a creepy scream. Steve opens his eyes wide and gets out of the bed so quickly he almost falls on his own feet.

As he reaches the living room he hears Bucky speaking in his sleep in a language he doesn’t know.

"НЕТ! Нет, пожалуйста ... остановить его. Не делайте этого, пожалуйста, не делайте этого. Боже, помоги мне ".*

Bucky keeps murmuring it:

 “Нет! Нет!”

Steve kneels beside the couch, Bucky’s shaking, eyes shut but eyelids moving rapidly. He’s covered in sweat, his black tshirt completely wet, hair glued on his forehead and cheecks.

Steve puts his hands on Bucky’s shoulders and shakes him gentle, trying to wake him up.

“Bucky, wake up! You hear me? It’s just a dream.”

Bucky keeps repeting the same things. He’s speaking russian, Steve assumes, he’s not sure about that but the desperation and fear in his voice is unmistakable.

“Стив! Стив помочь мне.”*

Whatever language it is he recognizes his name and he feels a knot right in the stomach. He imagines what’s going on on Bucky’s mind, he’s probably dreaming about tortures and experiments, all the things his been though during these years, and he just cried out his name for help. Did he do that at the time the Hydra was keeping him prisoner?  Did he expect him to come and rescue him from all of that? The though awakens his remorse again.

Steve gently takes off his hair from his forehead. Seeing Bucky like this is breaking his heart, he’s so vulnerable, crying out for help while reliving the tortures in his dreams.
All  of a sudden Bucky opens his eyes, looking right through him. Fast and letal he closes his meccanical hand on Steve’s neck, tightening it with all his strenght. Steve chockes on his hand, the grip like a noose around his neck.

“B-Buck…. I’ts me…. Steve.” He manages to say, voice cracking at every word, breathless and face reddening quickly.

“It’s Steve.”

Bucky’s eyes are so dead right now, it’s like he’s not even here, not even seeing him nor hearing his voice.

Steve closes his own hand on Bucky’s wrist, he could easily force Bucky to release him, but he would have to hurt him… and that’s not something he’s willing to do. He will never fight Bucky, he will never raise a single finger on him, he would rather die.

“Bucky.” He whispers.

That’s where Bucky’s expression finally changes, he looks at him freaked out, like he wasn’t really awake before. The grip on his neck finally loosens and Bucky shifts himself against the couch.

“What’s going on?!” he looks shocked, not concious of the last few minutes.

“You…” Steve has a hard time speaking  “You had a nightmare, I was just trying to wake you up” he explains.

He stands up and starts massaging his neck, red bruises are all over it and every breath burns his throat like he’s swallowing a bunch of spikes. It doesn’t matter, he knows Bucky didn’t hurt him on purpose, so he’s not gonna complain about it. He immediatly forgets about himself and starts worrying about Bucky instead.

“Are you ok?”

Bucky stands up leaving his question unanswered. He’s looking down on his hands, he’s visibly shivering.

“Bucky, is everything alright?” Steve asks again, softly.

Bucky closes his fists, anger rushing on his face.

“I’m not ok, I’m fucking not ok!” he barks making a few steps and turning his back on him.

“I know, but… you have to calm down. It was just a nightmare and I’m ok, so there’s no need to freak out…”

Steve gets closer to him and puts an hand on his shoulder. Big mistake.

Bucky rejects his hand with an abrupt gesture, returning him a raging look.

“NO! I told you not to touch me!”

“I’m sorry, I just want to make you better, I’m trying to help you” he lowers his hand embarassed and a little hurt by his reaction. Things are getting worse than he was expecting.

Bucky gets his hair off his forehead and again he steps further away from him.

“I don’t need your help, I need you to leave me the hell alone!”

He says coldly, his breath increasing, he looks like a wild animal trapped in a cage.

“But… I thought you were giving us a chance.”

Again Steve slowly comes closer and Bucky walks back.

“STOP IT, I SAID STOP!” he raises his voice.

“No, Bucky, you stop it!” Steve gets closer but Bucky puts his hands on his big chest and pushes him away bluntly, almost sending him against the wall.

“I don’t want your help, you can’t do anything for me!”

In a fit of rage Bucky punches the closest wall with his right hand, fragments of wall and paint fall to the ground and despite the pain he must feel he doesn’t make a sound nor he raises a single eyebrow.

Steve looks at him in silence and he knows that punch was meant to go right against his face. He looks at Bucky’s hand, knuckles scratched and bruised, and despite Bucky’s last words he would take his hand right now and medicate it. He is the foolest of men after all.

“Why are you doing this?” he asks low, he can’t hide his sorrow.

“I don’t understand, we were doing good. I know you’re hurting, I know I can’t erase all the pain you’ve been through… but I’m trying to remind you of the person you were. You can be that person again. You just have to let go of all this rage.”

Bucky seems lost in his thoughts, but when he raises his eyes on him Steve doesn’t see anything but anger and contempt.

“You really don’t understand, do you” Bucky laughs bitterly.

“I’m not a broken toy you can fix. Don’t you fucking understand it, there’s no way I can ever be fixed!” He’s yelling now.

“I’m broken beyond repair.” That comes out in a whisper.

Steve doesn’t say anything, what else could he say? He’s tried to talk reasonably with him, but there’s nothing else he can say to make Bucky change his mind.

“I’m not giving up on you. I don’t care what you say… I won’t give up on you.” He says at last, stubbornly.

Bucky shakes his head tiredly.

“You can fool yourself as much as it pleases you. I won’t.”

He finally gets out slamming the door behind his back.

Steve’s left alone. He looks at the cracks on the wall where Bucky punched it, and he places a hand on it. That’s the only thing Bucky left behind.

Chapter Text

Few weeks have passed by and the bruises on Steve’s neck faded away. He wishes they didn’t cause since Bucky left those marks were everything he had left of him, the only thing other than a crack on his wall.
Steve said he would not let go of him, but he’s been thinking a lot about Bucky’s latest words to him.
About him being too damaged and the impossibility to fix him.
He doesn’t want to believe it, but this thought is starting to grow on him. Maybe he’s just trying to ignore something that is visible to eveyone else. Even Sam warned him about it, long before, saying that this new Bucky could not be saved, he could only be stopped. And he didn’t listen to him.

“Earth calling Captain Roger.”

Sam voice shakes him from his thoughts.

“What? What were you saying? I’m sorry, I was distracted.”

“Yeah, I noticed. You know, I may be slow but I’m not blind.”

Sam is resting his back against a tree, all sweaty and panting while Steve’s breath is perfectly steady and he’s not shed a drop of sweat.
They were taking a break fom one of their usual runs, and Steve couldn’t help but laugh for the joke.

“Ok, so are you gonna tell me or not?”

“I was saying that you should focus, we’ve got 3 more assassinations in the last week and the number is going to increase. ”

“I know, I’m working on it.”

“Also the killer is knocking off very important people now. What will his next move be, kill the damn president of the United States?”

Steve doesn’t answer, he’s too worried about it to joke around.

“You know it probably is your friend the killer we’re looking for.” Sam’s speaking carefully now and Steve raises an eyebrow glancing at him.

“And you know I won’t kill him, even if he is, don’t you.”

Sam takes a deep breath and Steve already knows what he’s going to say.

“You can’t let the past stop you from doing your duty. This man is a dangeruos killer, you can’t let him hurt other people.”

“So you’re telling me I have to kill the only person that means something to me? He’s still my friend, he was anything I had back then, and you know what? I am eveything he has now, even tho he doesn’t want me aound. I’m doing my duty toward him.”

He’s mad and Sam can surely see it since he stands in silence, looking at his own feet in embarassement.

“I’m sorry Sam. It’s… it’s really hard for me. I know you’re right, I know he has to be stopped…”

“Hopefully you’ll do the right thing when the time comes. Innocent people are gonna pay the price if you don’t.” Sam says resigned, ending the argument.

“Well, what are you waiting for, snail! Come on, I’m so winning this one.”

Sam runs away but Steve doesn’t follow. He stands there in the middle of the park, and he wonders… what would he do if killing Bucky was the only way to stop him from hurting innocent people? How far could he go to stop him?
He doesn’t want to think about it ‘cause he already knows the answer, and whatever he choose someone’s gonna suffer, including himself.

A few more days pass by and there’s a forth murder to add on the list. Steve and Sam work days and nights in his appartment looking at papers and fbi files about the assassinations in attempting to find Bucky but he really is a ghost, there’s no trace of him except for the bodies he leaves behind. At last they finally success on finding out what Bucky’s next move will be thanks to Natasha’s hacker skills. She’s on her own now, but she’s always there for Steve when he needs her, even tho they’re keeping in touch only through phone calls now.

Steve hangs up the phone and frantically gets ready picking up his shield and some arms scattered all over his appartment, Sam following his every movement.

What they found out is way worse than anyone was expecting. After all Sam was right, and shit are getting serious.

“I’m coming with you.” Sam says “I just have to pick up som_”

“No way.” Steve doesn’t let him finish. He faces him and he must look really determined since Sam just freezes.

“I’m going on my own, no further objections. ” He’s explicitly forbidding him or anyone else to follow him.

He overtakes Sam and leaves the apartment before he can even reply.

He doesn’t want anyone to go with him. Bucky’s his business, only his, and if someone’s gonna stop him it’s gonna be Steve.

While Steve drives his motorcycle furiously through the city to the White House he barely can believe it. Whoever is controlling Bucky now, whether is HYDRA or something else (he refuses to think Bucky would do this on is own), who came up with this murderous plan wants to hit the whole nation and leave it to its knees. Bucky’s next target is the president himself. This is by far the most apocaliptic scenario ever imagined and Steve can't let this happen.

As he arrives nearby the White House he finds out he’s late; there are guards knocked off everywhere and half of the building is on fire due to some explosions. Bucky’s already there and he’s literally destroying everything with his backups.

Steve climbs the already torned apart fences and runs to the entrance. He’s welcomed by the sounds of shotguns filling the air and the vibration of more explotions.

He knocks down a few of the enemies with ease and approaches a security guard hiding under a column.

“Where’s the president?”

“Oh Captain, thank god you’re here. Downstairs. His bodyguards are escorting him to the underground tunnels to get him to a security location. The tunnel are closed by a metal door but the Winter Soldier is trying to blow it, it won’t resist much longer.”

"Don't worry, I'm stopping him. Get out of here."

Steve runs to the half destroied stairs, getting downstairs.

The situation here is allarming . The place is on fire, guards are protecting with their lives an iron door soon to be wrecked. They’re shooting at this black figure without even scratch him; he’s too strong, too fast and impredictable. They all fall down in front of him.

“Get out, leave the place! I got this!” Steve yells at the security guards still left in the building, stopping himself before the door.

After his warning everyone who’s still alive runs to the nearest exit leaving him alone with his so called nemesis, putting the president life in his hands.
Bucky’s standing in front of him, motionless like a statue. He’s so much different now from the Bucky he was just a month ago, when he was willing to relive their past, or at least to try. Now he just incarnates the cold blood killer everyone thought he was.

The fire is devouring eveything around them and Steve is the only thing between Bucky and the door.
Steve gets the vivid image of another fire they’ve been caught up into, many years - more like a lifetime- before. They were side by side at that time, and they’re against each other now. The fact Bucky can’t remember it anguish him even more.

“Killing the president… you’re climbing the social scale, huh?”

Not a word comes from Bucky, he doesn’t move a single muscle. His gaze is intense, mouth covered by his mask. He’s the assassin now, there’s no trace of the guy he used to know. He’s really gone apparently.

“I won’t let you kill anyone else, Bucky. You’ll have to go through me first.” He wispers.

It’s hard to see what’s hiding under that black mask but Steve has the impression that Bucky’s is grinning underneath it.

“I will.” He says, voice muffled.

In a second Bucky’s coming at him. Steve barely dodges a punch from him, his metal fist grazing the air near his ear. A second one is easily blocked with his shield. Bucky pushes but Steve pushes harder making Bucky slide back away from him. He throws his shield on him, but Bucky grabs it withouth any strain and threws it off the way.
The third punch goes straight to his face, hitting him to the jaw. He feels the metallic taste of blood into his mouth and swallows. They keep fighting ignoring the flames raising all around them. The only thing Steve wants is keeping Bucky busy so that the President will be safe from him.

Steve runs over Bucky making him fall to the floor. They roll on the ground, both struggling to get on top, punching one another.
In the end Steve has him on his back. He closes his legs tight aound his body, keeping him in place; Bucky’s metal arm tho is too strong to hold, so Steve gets a particoular gun from his back and shot; it’s not a common gun, it is actually one of Tony’s technological toys, a modern gun who builds a sort of electromagnetic lock which paralyzes Bucky’s wrist to the ground. Using it felts like cheating, and that's why Steve waited this long before taking the gun out. He didn’t want to use the weapon against him, but he knows he must do anything to stop him.

The shock on Bucky’s face is visible, but he can’t stop now. Steve shots one more time trapping his other arm to the ground.
Bucky’s now completely fastened beneath Steve, and he can see the initial shock rapidly replaced by anger.

“I’m sorry, you left me no choice.”

The last thing Steve wanted to do was to trap his friend like this. He’s afraid this can bring back terrible memories to him but he had to stop him and there was no other way. He knew Bucky would be mad at him for this from the beginning.

There is something Steve wasn’t expecting tho.

Astride him Steve clearly feels Bucky’s got an hard on and this is unexpected, its weird yet not too much, Bucky’s probably aroused by the entire situation and by their fight, it was clear he was enjoying every bit of it and this is probably a side effect to the adrenaline pumping through his body. The weird thing is that Steve’s actually getting aroused himself by this discovery. He finds himself incapable of resisting the urge to rub against him and he slightly moves his hips forward, which causes the man beneath him to growl. Steve’s even more aroused by that sound.

“Free me. NOW.” Bucky commandes, and Steve wonders what would he exactly do if he realises his hands.

“I need you to listen to me, and apparently I have to force you into do it. So the answer is no.”

The fire around them is growing stronger, so there’s no time to play. The president is probably far away by now but Steve’s risking his own life and Bucky’s holding him into this firing hell. He has to go straight to the point before time runs out. But he can’t help it, having Bucky finally here he’s making him unfocus about the whole mission.

Steve holds him to the ground, with both hands tied up Bucky can’t do anything but stare back at him, his face and eyes filled with rage. Steve stirs slowly an hand to his face, clearly attempting to caress him and Bucky closes his eyes tight and turn his head side, as he’s trying to avoid something terrible and frightining. His reaction causes Steve to stop his hand halfway to Bucky’s face. This man benath him has no fear of brutal fights and bullets, but he looks about to break just at the thought of a tender touch. This is how much HYDRA messed up with his mind. Steve’s heart is aching at the sight of this suddenly vulnerable and visibly broken boy. He’s been bitten up so hard in the past years he can’t stand a loving touch anymore. And this breaks Steve heart in half.

Steve brushes slightly Bucky’s cheek with his fingerstips, he barely feels Bucky’s skin so light his touch is, still he sees him shiver. He searches for the ties hidden between his hair and loosens them tossing the mask away, then he pulls immediatly his hands back.
Bucky opens his eyes and looks back at him with confused and resentful eyes.

“I know you won’t hurt me.” Steve says suddenly, surprising him.

It takes Bucky a few seconds to reply.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because if you really wanted to finish your job you would have done it that day the helicarrier went to pieces. You could have me killed right there when you had me on the floor, but you didn’t.
You also could have let me drown, but you didn’t. This means something”

Steve smiles knowingly.

“No, I don’t think you really want to kill me. And I think you’re scared.”

Bucky looks speechless, and Steve’s sure he just hit the right spot. That’s it, that’s what’s really hiding under the cold assassin disguise.

“That mask you wear.” He says, glancing at the mask thrown some steps away “You don’t wear it to keep your identity secret, nor to frighten others. You wear it so they can’t see how much you’re scared. You don’t want them to see how much you hate what you’re doing.”

“You’re delusional.” Bucky hisses harshly, breathing heavier.

“Oh, I’ve never been saner.”

Steve leans forward and Bucky naturally turns his head and tries to shifts away, but he can’t go anywhere. Steve places a gentle kiss on Bucky’s cheek, flushed and hot for the air is burning inside the room.

The place is going down. Steve stands up. He could leave Bucky there, and thats what anyone would be expecting after the mission he just led. He pushes some button on the gun instead and the electromagnetic forces vanish releasing Bucky.

He stands up furiously.

“I’m sorry.” Steve says.

“You tie me up then you say you’re sorry! You’re fucked up!”

“No, I meant I’m sorry about this.”

As he ends the sentence Steve hits him hard in the head with the cane of the gun, making him lose it. Steve doesn’t let him fall to the ground, he grabs Bucky in time and takes him in his arm.

Steve takes him out of the fire before the whole place begins to collapse and the sirens of the firemen approaching fill the air.