Chapter Text
“It’s a new day… a new day… you can only get better.”
Allura had taken to repeating this line every morning. On a bad day, she repeated it more than once. Twice. Three times. However long it took for the feeling of nausea to subside. But she had to remind herself: it hadn’t been long.
Allura gazed at her own reflection in the lake of this foreign, uninhabited planet. She didn’t see a princess anymore – only her own tortured expression. A broken woman. A weak frame containing a weak mind and behind her, the tall stature of the man who had left her this way. Allura’s reflection haunted her.
“I will face you.” She seethed at the vague features of the Galra’s last emperor. “I will not let you win.”
“But Allura…” The reflection whispered, “You have nothing left. Your father abandoned you. Your castle is gone… all you had was me and the work we did together…”
“NO!” Allura shrieked, swiping the water with her hands, abolishing his voice and his face. That did nothing to stop it ringing just as true in her memories. Crouching by the water, Allura pushed her head into her knees, breathing deeply.
“It’s a new day… one more day without him.”
Was he dead? Was he still alive, writhing in the void, slowly saturating himself in quintessence? She wasn’t sure which one she was more afraid of, and she bade the answer never reveal itself to her. After all, she had left him there…
“Allura?”
Allura stood like a shot, facing her intruder. But it was only Lance. Had he heard? She waited, schooling her features.
“A-are you okay?” Lance asked, concerned.
Allura hadn’t strayed too far from the others, but Lance still must have gone out of his way to find her. She forced a smile.
“Yes thank you, Lance.”
He wasn’t convinced. But he didn’t argue. “Everyone is waiting for you. I-it’s Shiro… he’s not looking too good.”
Allura nodded, alert. Suppress. Hide. Don’t think. It’s a new day. You can only get better.
With his white hair and the physical tolls from his recent ordeal, Shiro looked fifty times older than the man they remembered. Bent over the healing pod, fists clenched, Keith stayed by Shiro’s side – waiting. Krolia placed a hand on his shoulder.
“You should rest. You’ve been by his side for days.” She told him gently.
“No… I can’t give up on him.”
Krolia shared a grim look with Coran. Shiro’s vitals took a dive, prompting the machinery to beep and whirr menacingly. Keith flinched.
“Shiro…”
Lance and Allura entered the black lion, expressions matched.
“What’s going on?” Asked Allura. She tried not to feel guilty for leaving. She’d needed a moment, that was all… just a moment to think.
“He’s not waking up. Why isn’t he waking up?” Keith flared.
“W-we tried everything.” Said Lance.
“There simply isn’t enough power. It would take phebes for the lions to recharge.” Said Coran, pressing more buttons, “If Shiro doesn’t get better now or in the very near future…” He trailed off, reluctant to finish the sentence. It didn’t matter. Everyone knew how it ended.
“But!” Said Coran, the brightness in his tone elevating everyone for a moment, “we are in the fortunate situation of being located right near a Fornitonium gold-mine. If we can find a Yelmore to track some down, we can use it as a temporary solution to our power shortage.”
Lance straightened. “Then what are we waiting for?”
Hunk said, “How long will it take?”
“If we hurry, no more than a few Vargas.”
Keith sighed. “Good. You guys go find a Yelmore, I’ll stay here.”
“I’ll stay too.” Said Allura.
As the others went to leave, Lance lingered.
“Uh – Keith? Don’t you want to come with us? It might” –
-“No.” Said Keith forcefully. “The longer we wait, the worse his condition will get.”
Lance withdrew to the door with a reproachful look at Keith, “Okay,” He said uncertainly, “Hang in there, man.”
As the door shut, Keith let out a breath, expelling some of the tension in his stomach. He shouldn’t have snapped at Lance, but…
“Do you blame Lance?” Allura asked suddenly.
Keith blinked. “What?”
Allura’s gaze was penetrating, “Do you blame him for not taking care of Shiro while you were away? None of us saw it. None of us… realised. Least of all me. I know what he said when Shiro woke up, but it isn’t his fault.”
Keith’s head was spinning. Was that what they thought? That Keith resented them for this?
“No way.” He said, “I just – I’m worried. That’s all. Of course I don’t blame Lance. I-if anything I blame myself for not being here.”
Allura nodded. “I see. Perhaps you should tell him that.”
Keith shook his head, placing his hand on the pod above Shiro’s face. “This isn’t about him. It isn’t about anyone… it’s about keeping my brother alive.”
As he gazed at Shiro’s drawn features, Keith remembered a time not so long ago in his life when this same face had instilled confidence in him, had inspired him to work hard and become more than his past. He heard Shiro’s voice, telling him about the Kerberos mission, and wished hope against hope that he could go back in time and beg his brother not to leave.
Keith rested his head against the pod and said quietly, “You have so much to live for. Not just Voltron. Not… not just saving the universe. What about Adam? You always said the first thing you’d do when you got back to earth was make amends with him. I miss him too, Shiro… don’t make me be the one to tell him you – you can’t die!”
In the pod, deep in sleep, Shiro dreamt of Adam, Keith’s voice piercing his subconscious like a shooting star.
They were at their home in the garrison when it had happened.
Shiro waited for Adam on their couch, buzzing with nerves as he rubbed the medical band on his wrist. The door clicked open.
“Takashi,” Said Adam, breaking into a smile as he laid eyes on his fiancé. That was almost enough to make Shiro change his mind. Almost.
“Adam,” He said seriously. Adam settled onto the couch beside Shiro, planting a tender, familiar kiss on his mouth. It felt like a lie to Shiro, knowing what he was about to do, but he reciprocated, pulling Adam into a stronger embrace than usual.
“Whoa,” Adam laughed, breaking apart, “what’s the special occasion?” His eyes were alive, sparkling, a carefree smile on his lips.
Shiro didn’t do him the disservice of looking away.
“Adam, I… I’m going on the mission.”
The smile faded. The light in his eyes died. Shiro watched the moment his words sunk in with dread.
“What?”
“I’m...”
“Takashi, you can’t.” Adam was shaking his head, drawing away. “You’re too sick. I thought the admiral said - ”
-“The admiral was overturned.” Said Shiro. “It’s decided.”
Adam stood. “But you’re – I don’t know how long you have left! Are you seriously telling me you’re going to waste your last few years as a healthy man in space?”
Shiro was silent.
“What left do you have to prove?” Adam continued, his voice breaking as tears gleamed in his eyes, “You’re not invincible, Takashi! When will you realise that? This mission will kill you!”
“Then so be it!” Shiro sniped. “If I’m not strong enough to live happily for a few more years then I don’t want to live at all, and if I’m going to die, at least let it be for something worthwhile!”
The hurt that shattered Adam’s expression in that moment was Shiro’s clearest memory of this moment, and he would do anything to take those words back.
Finally, after a silence that stretched for an age, Adam became calm and cool.
“So I’m not worthwhile enough for you, Takashi?” He was cutting and deliberate.
Shiro faltered, “No, that’s not what I” –
-“But you did. You did mean it.” Adam swiped his bag from the floor and slung it over his shoulder, “If you go on this mission, don’t expect me to be here when you get back. I can’t go through this again. I love you Takashi, but – but…”
He couldn’t finish. Instead, with a final devastated glance at Shiro, Adam turned on his heel and left.
No, that wasn’t the last time Shiro had seen Adam. After that they’d broken up on civil terms. They shared icy, awkward conversations in the days leading up to the mission, and when the time came to say goodbye… Adam wasn’t there. It had been too much for him.
“You can’t die” said the voice in Shiro’s mind, “what about Adam?”
Yes. What about Adam? What about his life on earth? What about his family, his friends, what about –
“ Shiro … I ’ m not giving up on you. ”
Keith.
What about Keith?
What about the lost, confused boy he’d adopted from the home and made a part of his family? What about the boy who had grown up to save Shiro’s life, willing to sacrifice his own in the process?
An ember kindled in Shiro’s consciousness, a dragging weight that had held him in sleep slowly being lifted.
Keith gasped as the icon on the pod began to glow.
“His body is accepting him!” Said Allura, rushing to the pod.
Krolia grasped her son’s hand, knowing how much Shiro, though little more than a stranger to her, meant to him.
“He’s going to make it?” She asked, her voice hushed.
In the pod, Shiro opened his eyes.
When the screen lifted, Keith didn’t hesitate to hug his brother.
“I thought you were gone. I thought this was the end.”
Shiro barely had strength, but what he had, he used to cling tightly onto Keith.
“I heard your voice.” He said, “I heard it in my dreams.” And then, “I remembered you stealing my car.”
Keith laughed tearily, “Really? You were close to death and that’s what you remember?”
Shiro shrugged. “Well, that’s not all.”
They smiled at each other, knowing what he meant. There was no way Shiro was going to let anything stop him getting back to earth now.
At that moment, the rest of the paladins, Romelle and Coran burst into the room.
“Shiro!” Lance exclaimed, bustling to the pod, “You’re okay!”
“Yes,” Said Shiro throatily, “I’m okay…”
“How do you feel? Can you move your legs? Your arms – I mean, uh, arm? What about your - ?”
Keith pushed Lance to the side. “Stop crowding him, guys.” He said, exasperated.
Shiro laughed. “I’m fine.” Lance’s expression was twisted with worry and apprehension, “Lance, I’m fine.” He repeated.
Keith looked at Lance, and remembered what Allura had said. He’d talk to him eventually, he decided. Now just wasn’t… the right time.
“Anyway,” said Keith, “what happened to you guys? We couldn’t contact you.”
He expected Lance to launch into an elaborate play-by-play of their journey, but he didn’t. He hung back and Hunk, Pidge and Romelle enthusiastically told the story with the occasional interjection from Coran. Lance’s eyes were on Shiro as he clutched his paladin helmet to his chest, the apprehension in his eyes still there. Keith was sure he was the only one who noticed.
When Shiro was recovered enough, it was decided they should plan their trip back to earth.
“ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED YEARS?” Lance cried as Coran told them how long it would take.
“No, no…” Pidge corrected, “He means it would take one point five years.”
Lance sighed. “Wow. You really scared me there Coran.”
Hunk fiddled with his fingers. “That’s still a long time though right? A lot can happen in a year and a half, I mean… that’s another whole eighteen months of our families thinking we’re dead.”
Shiro crossed his legs. “Hunk is right. Isn’t there a quicker way?”
Allura tapped her foot. “We don’t have a Teleduv. There is no quicker way.”
Romelle frowned. “What’s a Teleduv?”
“Um… it’s something we had on Altea. A device that allowed us to travel through space quickly.”
“Like a wormhole.” Said Lance. “Heh. I miss the Teleduv.”
Romelle didn’t appear any more enlightened. “I see… there’s so much I don’t know about my own people.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Said Keith, “We don’t have a Teleduv, so we’re just gonna have to stick it out.”
Lance folded his arms, pouting.
“There’s no point being like that, Lance. It’s just how it is.” Said Keith.
“I didn’t say anything!” Lance protested.
“You didn’t have to.”
“Guys…” Said Hunk, “As much as I miss your squabbles, we actually have to decide who’s going in which lion.”
Lance took the backseat a second time. He resented being picked on for doing so much as breathe, so he waited.
“Lance?” Said Hunk.
“Huh?”
“Any ideas.”
Lance shrugged. “I guess.”
Allura frowned. “If you’re not going to help” –
-“FINE. Romelle and Pidge in green, Hunk, Coran and the space mice in yellow, Keith and his mom in red, you with the wolf in blue and I’ll take Shiro and Kaltenecker.”
The circle erupted into disarray.
“I don’t want the wolf!”
“Yay, space mice!”
“Don’t you think Shiro should bunk with me?”
“Doesn’t Shiro get to decide?” Said Shiro, lifting his one arm.
Lance threw his arms in the air. “I tried to help! And you didn’t like it! So there.” He folded his arms again and leant against the rock.
They finally decided on who would go where after too much arguing, and Lance ended up with Romelle and Kaltenecker in red.
He didn’t mind so much at first, but it didn’t help that Pidge had said, “I thought you’d be happy. She is a girl.” To which he’d very sarcastically replied, “Well spotted.” But the truth was, that had hurt. Sure, there was no excuse for how he’d behaved in the past, but he was better now right? These days he was kind of cringed out by the idea of flirting with every girl that came in his path.
He guessed the team were entitled to their jokes, his past actions had warranted it after all but… did they really think he was the same?
Lance didn’t have much time to think on it. As he was desperately trying to convince Romelle to stop messing with the controls and pilot red, Krolia interrupted.
“We need to stop. This is the Zylock station. Can we check in?”
Lance had to admit, he wanted nothing to do with the blades. The idea of them left a bad taste in his mouth. Weren’t they the same people responsible for snatching Keith’s mother away from him? Weren’t they the same people responsible for Keith almost losing his life? Stupid Keith… Lance was still trying to find the time to berate him over that. But recently, there hadn’t been much of that. It was death this, Galra that… there was no time to relax, least of all sort out the past. Even so, they might find useful information, so Lance followed the others into Zylock.
They should have known it was a trap. The Galra came from all sides. The space wolf, now named Cosmo (as Hunk had decided) could only teleport into so many Galra ships before he was injured, and soon they were overpowered.
At the first sign of a bright purple light, Allura was struck with the terrible fear they’d been targeted by an Ion canon. But instead, it was an incredibly powerful magnetic field that kept them pinned to the floor. Their coms frazzled by the field, Allura could only lie in wait. She was outnumbered and handcuffed, escorted with the other paladins to a prison cell.
“Well this is great.” Said Pidge.
“Where’s Coran? What did they do to him?” Asked Allura.
“Trapped in the black lion…” Said Keith grimly. “Let’s hope they don’t find him. Maybe he can come to our resc - Lance, what are you doing?”
Lance was on his knees and elbows, shimmying along the floor and inspecting every inch of the cramped cell.
“Looking for a way out. There’s gotta be some kind of… escape hatch.”
Keith cocked a brow. “An escape hatch? In a prison cell?” He scoffed, “You watch too many movies.”
“Maybe if you’d watched some of them, you’d be more motivated to look for a way out.” Lance replied wryly.
Keith rolled his eyes, smirking despite himself.
“You don’t think… this is Haggar’s doing, do you?” Asked Shiro.
They all looked at him, dread filling the cell.
“If it is… we need to be prepared.” Said Allura.
Lance stood from the floor with some difficulty given his hands were tied. He looked at Keith and Krolia.
“If this place has been invaded by Galra, then where are the blades?”
Keith’s eyes were dark. “I was wondering the exact same thing.”
At that moment, the prison door opened and they were faced with a pair they hadn’t laid eyes on in a long time.
“Well, well, well,” Said Ezor with delight, “It has been a long time.”
The paladins stared.
“We thought you were dead.” Said Zethrid. “We hoped”-
“Why would we be dead?” Said Hunk.
Ezor and Zethrid exchanged a look. “Are you trying to be smart with us, boy?”
Hunk scowled. “No!”
“Are you joking?” Said Ezor, “It’s been three years.”
“Three…” Hunk breathed.
“Three years?” Allura flared. “But how - ?”
“Where’s Lotor?” Ezor demanded, striding into the cell. “If you’re alive, then where is he?”
Allura’s stomach fell to her knees, before bouncing right back up again with nauseating horror. She hadn’t talked about him… no one had… and now… hearing his name was another stab in the raw and empty wound still left behind.
She stared.
“Well, princess?” Ezor hissed, “Where is he?”
“Gone.” Said Romelle, lifting her chin. “Defeated. And rightfully so.”
Allura hung her head. She wished Romelle was right, but a hollow part of her cried out, knowing it was a lie… he was still alive. She could feel it. Their connection from Oriande had snapped the moment Lotor had betrayed her, but a thread of it lingered, tying her to him. She hated it. But Romelle’s comment had distracted them from Allura.
Ezor grasped the Altean’s blond hair at her roots and threw her against the wall. Romelle cried out, and that was the prompt Allura needed. Gritting her teeth, she sprung forward and caught Ezor’s ankles, tripping her up.
Zethrid reacted, heading for Allura, but Lance stood in her way.
“Don’t even think about it!” He yelled, but was thrown aside as though he were nothing more than a twig. Krolia caught Lance, staggering under him.
Before Zethrid could hurt Allura, however, an alarm sounded and red lights began to flash.
“Breach detected…” It said.
They were lucky. Zethrid scooped Ezor from the ground and hurried them out of the cell, the door slamming shut behind them.
The paladins, Romelle, Shiro and Krolia immediately huddled to the door.
“Overwhelm the guards when they get to the door.” Said Krolia, “There’s someone else coming.”
But when the door opened, however, they were greeted instead by the space mice. It was the space mice who told Allura that Coran was coming to save them. It was the space mice who told them he wasn’t alone, and Acxa, one of Lotor’s former generals, was helping.
Keith frowned. “What?” He said.
Allura grit her teeth. She had to be prepared… if Haggar was here… that was only the start.
They intercepted Coran along their escape route and discovered Acxa wasn’t with him, which could only mean she had been discovered by the generals.
Their bayards were being guarded in a room by two Galrans.
“What do we do?” whispered Lance. “Those are our weapons and they have them.”
Keith crouched behind Lance next to the door. “I don’t know.”
Allura was practically shaking with rage. “Leave it to me.” She said, closing her eyes. Keith and Lance exchanged a look, as if to say what is she doing?
Focusing the acute point of her rage, Allura transformed the hot steady flow of heat that ran through her veins into a surreal calm, and instead of Lotor, an image of her father manifested in her mind. Yes… he was the reason she fought. For Altea. For her people, though long lost. Allura felt the bayard reveal itself in her hand. Her fingers closed around its handle, and when she opened her eyes, she had to blink. Because it wasn’t blue.
It was black.
“No way…” Lance breathed, “But that’s Keith’s” –
Allura didn’t wait to experience either of their reactions – she sprang into the room wielding the new streamlined axe that felt weighty and so right in her grip. The guards were taken down in an instant, and it was with a sharp breath that Allura let the axe disappear and the bayard go back to its original form.
The others followed behind her with apprehension. She faced them.
“Let’s go. We need to get to our lions.”
The same question burned on everyone’s lips as they charged towards the exit. Why had the black bayard come to Allura?