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The last few days of the US tour had been a struggle for Phil; Dan could see that. He hadn’t been sleeping well, and he’d been a little ill, which had drained an extra bit of energy out of him. He’d a rough night on the bus, followed by a hotel fire alarm the next night. After the last date in Vancouver, the two of them had collapsed into their bed for the night, finally getting a night of sleep with an opportunity for a lie in in the morning.
The next morning disappeared as the two of them slept well into the afternoon. It didn’t matter now if their sleep schedule was awful, with them about to fly to Australia in a few days. For now, all that mattered was that they got some rest and recovered from the long time they’d spent on the road. They had a couple of days to get their clothes washed, to let their injuries heal, to let their bodies recover before they got back to work again in a week’s time.
Dan eventually woke up properly about two pm, a slight headache telling him he needed to drink some water and maybe eat something. He slowly sat up in bed, then after a moment’s stretching, set off across the room to get himself some water. He’d wake Phil up in a minute, once he had himself together.
Dan knew that Phil was the more tired out of the two of them; Phil was used to getting good nights of sleep, whereas Dan could function on less sleep if he needed to. Anyway, it was time they got up, so that they could experience at least some of the day before it was night again. He gently woke Phil up, knowing that it wouldn’t necessarily be an easy feat.
It was ten minutes before Dan had Phil sitting up, placing his glasses on his nose and a glass of water in his hand as he leant back against the headboard. He seemed the better for having slept so long, but Dan could see in his eyes that he still wasn’t feeling one-hundred percent. Dan found him some paracetamol, then sat down next to him with the room service menu in his hands.
“Let’s get some food,” Dan said, his voice still warm and full of sleep.
Dan shuffled the menu halfway onto Phil’s lap so they could both read it, pointing out the section with the pancakes.
“I think I’m going to get banana and berry granola,” Dan said after a few minutes’ consideration, “You?”
“Just toast and orange juice,” Phil yawned, “And coffee. Not sure I’m feeling up to pancakes this morning.”
“Okay,” Dan nodded, thinking how unlike Phil it was to not have pancakes given the option, but he knew Phil wouldn’t appreciate him pointing it out.
Dan made his way to the room’s phone, a long standing agreement between he and Phil that he did all the room service orders. It didn’t take him long to reel off the order, then he returned to Phil, settling back onto the bed next to him, where he would stay until there was a knock at the door.
“What d’you want to do today?” Dan asked softly. “Just stay here and relax?”
“Yeah,” Phil nodded, “I think taking a shower is the most effort I’m willing to go to today.”
“Fair enough,” Dan smiled, “We can lay in bed and catch up on some shows; sounds good.”
When the room service arrived, the two tucked into their food, Dan throughorly enjoying his granola while Phil munched slowly on his toast. Dan was a little worried about him at first, but when he finished his toast, his juice and his coffee, Dan knew he was doing okay. He remained quiet for a bit, but it was noticeable when he started to benefit from the energy, a hint of a smile finding his face, then enough motivation to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth.
The day progressed quite strangely, with little routine. After they had both brushed their teeth, they sat on their phones for a while, catching up on social media, Dan releasing a relatable tweet to the world and Phil quietly liking a few things on twitter. Dan dug out his laptop to go on tumblr, and at that point, Phil headed off into the bathroom for his shower.
Whilst the two would sometimes shower together, today wasn’t a day for that. Maybe Phil wouldn’t have minded a little back rub and a gentle head massage, but Dan knew Phil also appreciated his alone time. A shower was a good place for clearing your mind and developing new thoughts, so hopefully it would do Phil some good.
What Dan didn’t expect was Phil to return to the room in a towel, tears streaming down his face and merging with droplets of water. Dan quickly abandoned his tumblr dashboard and opened his arms to Phil, mumbles of ‘what’s wrong?’ and ‘are you okay?’
“I miss home,” Phil sobbed. “I just want my bed and my own shower gel and things that smell familiar and…”
“Oh Phil,” Dan said softly, bringing both arms around his damp partner. “I know it’s a while yet, but we’ll be back before you know it.”
“I just feel like we’re going further away from home and I’m not sure I want to anymore,” Phil cried, “But I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
Dan, knowing it was up to him to convince Phil back into a positive mindset, started to remind Phil of all the things he’d been looking forward to about these places. “You’re going to get to see a koala again. You’re going to get to see the beauty of New Zealand in person. You’re going to have the opportunity to make a silly name pun in The Philippines. You’re going to get to see India for the first time, go back to Singapore and Hong Kong. I know it’s a lot, but it’s going to be exciting, and at the end of it, we’ll be going home. I propose we have Pyjama Week 2.0 when we get back, but for now we’re having a mini pyjama day today in a hotel room, which is the most we can manage at the moment. It’s going to be okay, Phil. I promise you’ve got your energy back and we’re back doing the show and meeting people.”
“Yeah, I know it’s going to be good. I just miss home and wish we could go back for a bit first. I want to see my parents and my plants and just sleep in our own bed for a night or two,” Phil said, still sounding sad, but not crying so much anymore.
“How about you message your parents and see if they’re free to Skype today or tomorrow?” Dan suggested. “Would that help? It’s been a while since you last did that.”
“I think it would yeah,” Phil nodded, “I miss them.”
“Well let’s message them now while we remember,” Dan said, reaching away from Phil for a moment to grab his phone.
“What shall I say?” Dan said, opening up a message to Phil’s mum, “How about… ‘Hi Kath, Phil was wondering if you and Nigel are free to Skype at some point today or tomorrow? He’s feeling a little homesick and we think it would be good for him to catch up with you while we’ve got a couple days off’ ?”
“You don’t need to say about me being homesick,” Phil groaned, “But the rest of it’s okay.”
“Phil, I think it’s best to be honest and straight up about that. I don’t want them worrying about you if you seem a bit sad and tired,” Dan said, his finger hovering over the send button. “It’s from me.”
Phil realised he should just trust Dan’s opinion and okayed the message, letting Dan send it off to his mum. Dan never expected a reply so quickly, but he had one in moments.
We are about to get ready for bed, so either tomorrow or right now? What would Phil like?
With this reply, they were reminded of how late it was at home, but delaying it until tomorrow didn’t seem to sit well with Phil. There was a sense of fragility in his eyes, in the way he held himself, and Dan knew that Phil’s mum would probably be able to help with that.
I think tonight would be best - sorry for keeping you out of bed.
Dan quickly received another message, saying that they would put the computer on and they’d be ready in five minutes. In this time, Dan got Phil’s laptop set up while Phil got dressed in his pyjamas. Thankfully he had no reservations about his mum seeing him in his pjs, fresh out the shower, with slightly red-rimmed eyes from crying.
Dan wanted to give Phil the space he needed, so he asked Phil if he wanted to be beside him or at the other side of the room. They quickly settled that Phil would sit on the bed, and Dan would be at the table at the other side of the room.
When Dan heard the familiar Skype ringtone, he left Phil to it and settled down to work on editing a gaming video, keeping himself from intruding on Phil’s conversation. He put on his headphones, but had one ear slightly out from under the padding, so that he could hear if he was needed or being spoken about.
Dan got a good half hour of work in, very productive apart from the odd glance over at Phil to see if he was doing okay. It was one of these glances that brought to his attention that Phil was in tears. He whipped off his headphones and padded across the room to where Phil was sat on the bed, hiding his face in his hands.
As he approached and heard the audio from the Skype call, he heard Kath’s worried voice, “Phil, where’s Dan? Is he with you? Do I need to message him?”
“I’m here,” Dan spoke up, climbing onto the bed and getting into the shot with Phil, “Was across the room with headphones, what’s happening?”
“Phil was saying he’s anxious for the flight,” Kath said, as Dan took Phil into his arms, “The long one to Australia.”
“You are?” Dan asked softly, “You didn’t say anything?”
“I didn’t really think about how long it was when we booked it… and just now it’s getting close, it’s finally sinking in… I don’t know if I can do it,” Phil sobbed.
“I will play ‘I spy…’ with you for eighteen hours if it helps,” Dan told Phil, hugging him, but still conscious he was in front of Phil’s mum, “And it was twenty-three when we flew from London, so you’ve done longer than this before and you survived that.”
“But my legs were so squashed…” Phil said, trailing off.
“You know we paid for the fanciest seats on the plane,” Dan reminded Phil, rubbing his hand down Phil’s back, “The ones with the most leg room and all the perks. We’re not going economy; it’s not going to be cramped.”
“Phil,” Katherine spoke up from the laptop. “You’ve done a harder flight before; you’re going to be okay. You’ve got Dan by your side if you get anxious and an eighteen hour game of ‘I spy…’ sounds good, doesn’t it?”
Dan turned to Phil’s mum, still keeping his arms around Phil, “I think he’ll be fine with it when we get to it; he’s just had a hard couple of days and I think he’s still quite tired, despite a long lie in. I think this anxiety will pass.”
“Get some rest in the next couple of days, Phil,” Kath said softly, “And you too, Dan, but Phil, you look like you need it.”
“I will, mum,” Phil said, nodding, brushing the tears away from his eyes, obviously feeling a little better in that he was looking slightly embarrassed.”
“I think we should let you go for now,” Kath said, “But we can speak again if you want while you’re still in Canada.”
“Thank you, mum,” Phil said softly, looking into the screen.
“Go have a cup of tea and maybe get some fresh air and see how you feel,” she told him. “We’ll be going to bed, but I’m sure Dan’ll look out for you.”
“I will,” Dan said firmly, giving Phil’s parents a little smile, “And thanks for taking the time to talk to Phil; I think he needed that.”
Phil nodded his agreement to that, and then the Lester’s started saying goodbye to each other, Phil curled into Dan’s chest, but paying all his attention to his mum and dad, as it was their last few moments on screen.
When the call was over, Dan took Kath’s advice by making Phil a cup of tea and then dragging him out onto the balcony to drink it. They stayed out there for a while, even after Phil’s cup was empty, talking over Phil’s anxieties, the change of scenery helping to bring a change in his brain. Phil would be okay for the plane, Dan was confident in that, but he’d stick by Phil’s side and give him all the support he needed until then.
As it got late and the sun started to go down, the two of them headed back into their room, pyjamas no longer warm enough for sitting on the balcony. They ordered some room service for dinner, and over their food, discussed their plans for tomorrow. Dan thought they should explore the city a little more, so they felt a bit more situated and less like they had no idea where they were. He wanted to make tomorrow’s evening about self care and looking after themselves, something that Phil needed. They’d do some shopping to buy some supplies for that: maybe a bathbomb, some face masks, some snacks. Dan had a vision, and he knew Phil would appreciate it in the end.
The two men went to bed quite early, at least quite early for them. It had been a short day and despite how much they’d slept in, some more sleep would do them good. Dan made sure to hold Phil close for the night, hoping that maybe he’d feel at home enough in Dan’s arms.
--
The following day found them exploring the city of Vancouver a little more, treating themselves to some ice cream as they walked through a park. Stanley Park was giant, and by no means did they see all of it, but from what they did, it was beautiful, walking amongst the trees, enjoying ice cream, enjoying nature. It was really what they needed to get out of their hotel room and into the world, where they had time to think, but not think too hard. They couldn’t exactly hold hands in public, but the peace of walking together was enough for them.
After spending a while in the park, they slowly made their way home, via a few shops to pick up some things for their evening of relaxation. They took a trip into Lush, and after a lot of sniffing, picked out the perfect bath bomb for the two of them to share. They headed into Shoppers Drug Mart for a few other things: some toiletries they’d been running out of, a fancy moisturiser and face masks, of course.
Their last stop before returning to their hotel was a supermarket, where they picked up some snacks, some comfort food: cookies and popcorn and Dorito’s; everything they needed to add some flavour to their evening.
By the time they got back to their hotel, both Dan and Phil were complaining to each other about their legs hurting, having walked further than they’d expected to. They were more than ready to sink into their bed, to order some take-away and spend the evening pampering themselves.
After eating a moderate amount of food with all the dips, with a show playing in the background, they settled into each other’s arms for a while. The bath would come next, but they both wanted time to digest their dinner before that.
When they finished the third episode of the show, Dan got up, cracking his back and padding across the room to their bag of purchases from earlier, “So Phil… you ready for that bath?”
With a grin and a ‘yeee’ from Phil, the two of them headed to the bathroom to drop the bath bomb into the bath and watch it dissolve into all its beautiful colours. The bright colours weren’t quite Dan’s aesthetic, but what did aesthetic matter when one was enjoying a private moment with their partner. He liked the scent, and it was Phil’s favourite, so that was what mattered.
When the bath was full and the bomb dissolved, the two stripped of their clothes and settled into the bath, Dan being Phil’s pillow today, letting Phil lean back against his chest and be enveloped by his body. Now that they had the privacy and all the time in the world, Dan took it upon himself to give Phil a back rub, to rub softly, then more firmly, easing most of the tension from his lover’s back.
With some of Phil’s favourite shampoo, which they’d picked up in the drugstore, Dan rubbed his fingers into Phil’s scalp, taking longer than he needed to lather the shampoo because he knew it would feel good. This had Phil’s eyes fluttering shut as he melted back into Dan, enjoying the fingers softly rubbing his head.
The two men stayed in the bath until the water went cold, until the warm towels on the towel rail got too tempting to stay in the cooling water any longer. They quickly rinsed off the remnants of the bath bomb with the shower before wrapping themselves up in the warm towels.
Before leaving the bathroom, they got their facemasks out of the packet and applied them to each other. Like the cat whiskers from TATINOF, it made sense, as they could see the other’s face better than their own.
In towels and facemasks, they returned to their room. It didn’t matter if they looked stupid, because they looked stupid together. They settled down on their bed to enjoy some snacks, some comfort food, pulling up another show on Dan’s laptop. They laid together for a while, indulging in the food and enjoying the show, until eventually, tiredness got the better of them and they had to finish getting ready for bed.
They settled down for the night in each other’s arms, relaxed and full of warmth. Enjoying time in each other’s presence was almost like being at home and the two of them were a lot better mentally from it.
The remainder of their time in Vancouver was spent trying to relax, trying to recover, trying to feel at home, before they set off to the other side of the world. In the end, the flight to Australia was no problem for Phil, and once they got settled back into the routine of the tour, Phil’s homesickness got left behind somewhere. He’d be happy for when they eventually did get back to London, but for the time being, Dan was his home.