Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Some people weren’t meant to be popular. Richard knew that, and kept it as his personal motto for any time he felt lonely. It was just life, after all. If someone has a lisp, terrible skin, and is so short that most people walk over him, there’s absolutely no reason to complain when he has no friends.

And yet, with no friends, Richard still felt more comfortable at school than at home. At least at school he knew what to expect, knew what halls to avoid if he wanted to avoid toilet water dripping off of his glasses by the end of the day. At home, every word felt like a gamble, and just leaving his room to get dinner was a risk Richard typically didn’t want to take. He never knew if his dad would be in a good mood, trying to be sober for what felt like the fiftieth time this month, or drunk off his ass, screaming at some faceless woman through the phone.

It used to be at least a bit more tolerable- after all, he used to have his brother to connect to. But next thing Richard knew, his older sibling was off to college, leaving Richard behind to have to deal with this bullshit all by himself. But it was fine. Richard only had four more years left, and then he could run away to a better place, just like his brother.

Besides, school had Jake. Athletic, beautiful Jake, who looked like he was plucked off of a football field and shoved into Richard’s algebra class just to remind Richard of how little he mattered in life. Jake had everything- crowds of friends, barely any acne, and seemed to still be a legitimately nice person. And that was the worst part of it all.

Richard would be lying to himself if he said that he had never considered asking Jake out. But then he always remembered that Jake was a popular straight as fuck jock and Richard was just… Richard. Besides, Jake was always with his girlfriend-of-the-week, and this time, it was Chloe Valentine. So yeah, Richard had absolutely no chance with Jake.

At least there was always algebra class- the only time in his day that Richard had the chance to talk to Jake without destroying too many social rules. They sat next to each other, thanks to the wonders of randomly assigned seating, and sometimes Richard had to ask for help. It was kind of pathetic, but still so worth it.

Richard would always start out by realising he had absolutely no idea what was going on, having zoned out from a beautiful combination of undiagnosed mental illness and lack of sleep. So he would look over at Jake, a blush spreading over his face and neck, causing Richard to look like he had some kind of easily transmittable rash (disgusting but true). Then he would try to say something that sounded vaguely like words, and Jake responded by looking over, clearly confused as to what strange language Richard was attempting to speak.

Finally Richard would muster up the courage to get something similar to a full sentence out, resulting in barely decipherable sentence made even worse by his awkward lisp ruining almost every word. And Jake would just sigh, smile, and repeat everything the teacher just said to an enthusiastically nodding Richard.

It was awkward, uncomfortable, and ultimately meaningless to the other boy, but it was worth the entire world to Richard. He knew that his desperate bisexual ass was looking for literally anything to lust after, and Jake was clearly the best candidate for any and every friendless loser. Well, Jake and his girlfriend-of-the-week. Because as mean as those girls usually were, they were always hot as fuck.

So Richard was sad and lonely, so what? It’s not like he spent every night staring at his ceiling rather than sleeping, wondering what terrible shit he must have done in a past life to deserve this. Wait. Fuck. Richard really needed change.

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But how would this change occur? Well, using the magic of looking up shitty obscure websites on his shitty ancient computer, Richard managed to find something. Or at least the vague notion of something. This (admittedly probably fake) piece of technology that, if used correctly, could change Richard's life for the better.

A squip. Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Made in Japan and sold in Japan with very few exceptions. And, thank god, one of the exceptions was a back room at the Payless shoe store less than twenty minutes away from Richard's house.

What the squips were doing in a random part of New Jersey, Richard had no idea, and honestly? He couldn't care less. So he walked away from his almost-broken computer to a small hiding place underneath his bed, reaching as far as his short arms could get, and retrieving a small box holding his entire future.

It had about $1,000 in cash that Richard had collected since middle school, when he realised how much he had to escape his shitty life. It was going to go towards college, but sacrifices must be made for the ultimate goal of improvement.

So he took out the four hundred dollars the internet said he'd need, and began the long walk to the mall. The weather was cloudy, mist hanging down over roads and fogging up windows, but Richard didn't care. He was too busy thinking about how great his life was going to be now that he had technology on his side.

By the time he arrived at Payless, his shoes were damp, and his entire body was covered in a unique combination of sweat and rain. It was an… interesting sensation to say the least.

The store was practically barren, which was kind of nice. After all, if you're about to buy illegal technology from some sketchy guy, it's probably not the best idea to have witnesses. He awkwardly walked towards the counter, avoiding eye contact with the man standing there.

Richard’s general uncomfortable attitude seemed to clue the man into his intentions. His face warped into a devilish smirk that seemed like it was ripped out of the manga that Richard read- totally ironically, of course. Gesturing to Richard, the man began to walk towards the back stockroom.

It was dark, and had the scent of what Richard guessed pot probably smelled like. There were shelves and shelves of plastic wrap covered boxes, ready to be sold. But the man passed by them, ignoring his surroundings until he arrived at a cobweb filled corner. Tucked away on the floor was an unassuming shoebox. It was so average that Richard almost looked over it, until the man picked it up, opening the cardboard lid.

Hidden away in the box was a small plastic baggie of grey pills. The man plucked one from its packaging, rolling it around in his (probably very unsanitary) hands.

“You want one of these? Gimme four hundred dollars.”

Richard reached inside his pocket for the bundle of money he held there. Without hesitation, he handed it to the man, and outstretched his hand for the tiny machine.

“I know the drill… so, bye, I guess.”

Richard quickly walked away, only barely hearing the man yelling something about mountain dew red. It probably didn't matter, right? Right.

On his way out, Richard stole a sip of Mountain Dew from a can resting on the counter, washing down the tiny grey pill. He made sure to not crush it with his teeth, no matter what the incredibly dumb part of his brain insisted. That would be destroying an incredibly expensive piece of technology, Richard.

Once the pill had washed down, Richard waited for something to happen. Unfortunately, he was left with disappointment and the need to hide in a bathroom, regretting every single one of good life choices. On his way to the restrooms, he stopped for a second, feeling kind of strange. But he ignored it in favor of stepping into a stall and locking the door behind him.

But the strange feeling only increased, overwhelming his body until all he could feel was pain. Electricity shocked through his veins, numbing out his strangled yells. Finally, it paused for a second, giving him a short break for only a few seconds until the torture began again, this time even worse. Once he finally became used to the pain, it stopped, leaving his nerves in shock.

Standing up from the bathroom floor (when did he fall?), Richard looked in the mirror, seeing his normal, geeky reflection. Only- there was someone behind him. A figure Richard could only assume was his squip.

Of course, he never expected his new instructor on all things cool to be so stupid looking. A meme. His squip was a fucking meme.

Evil Kermit moved in front of him, tiny froggy face twisted into a terrifying grin.

“Hello. I am your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your squip.”

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It had been months since Rich had bought his squip (and yeah, it was Rich now, not Richard- according to Squip, Richard was a name reserved for the geeky and the elderly), and everything was so much better. He had friends, people stopping by to talk to him during classes, completely under the impression that he was new to the school and not a previously friendless loser.

He even got to talk to Jake more often, becoming a stable member of his friend group. At first it had been awkward, Squip guiding through every word and action like a puppeteer. Jake seemed almost as uncomfortable as Rich, questioning the boy's transition from loser to socially acceptable in no time. But over time, Rich improved, letting Squip relax a bit during conversations until he fucked it up. And he always did.

But Rich was certain that he was becoming closer to Jake, even if he wasn't allowed to think about his totally-not-real crush. After all, Squip said that he had to choose, and being gay in high school was a ticket to social outcast-dom. So he had to settle- forget his sexuality, and in exchange have friends. Honestly, at this point Rich sometimes forgot about his attraction to guys, as long as he wasn't near Jake, or looking at Jake, or thinking about Jake. But he was fine.

Perfectly fine. And if he ever had doubts about his attraction (or general lack thereof), Squip would help out, shocking him until he obeyed. At first, Rich didn't like it, but he knew that it was necessary. His crush wasn't okay. Nothing about who he was was okay. But now, he was okay. Okay?

The only downside to the shocks were the scars that they left- but Squip was good at teaching him ways to hide it. He made sure to wear long sleeves until he learned enough about concealer to fix his… issues. He got shocked any time he thought about boys, when he questioned Squip, when his lisp came out, and when he slacked on his exercise routine. Speaking of which, Rich had gotten way more muscular since Squip.

Any time he wasn’t at a party, chatting up the coolest people in his school, Rich was working out in an attempt to seem less tiny and weak. He had to work as hard as possible to be perceived as a strong, intimidating person, and that wasn’t just the daily exercising. Squip made him show his dominance to those lower on the social scale.

Rich went from being the main target of bullies to becoming their leader, picking on the weaker underclassmen to show off how cool he had become. Of course, he had his personal favorites- courtesy of Squip’s comments on who to target most. Antisocial Headphones Kid wasn’t the most… exciting victim, but his friend definitely was. Tall-ass was uniquely pathetic, cowering despite his height, and any time Rich pushed him around, it was inevitable that Headphones was nearby, whimpering over his buddy. Or boyfriend. Honestly, who gave a shit?

Well, Rich kind of gave a shit. But only because Tall-ass did. Any time Rich made a joke, calling him gay or saying that Tall-ass and Headphones were dating, they would react hilariously. Tall-ass would be so annoyed, completely denying everything to an unrealistic point, and Headphones just got all flustered and awkward. Not that Rich cared if they were actually gay. Why would he care? He wasn’t gay or anything. Fucking fags.

Anyways, he bullied people. At first, he was uncomfortable, staying up all night thinking about the people he victimized, and regretting everything. But then, he just stopped. He was numb to it all, and couldn’t care less about some sad, pathetic losers. He didn’t know if it was a result of him finally not giving a shit, or Squip had flipped some switch in his brain, turning off his ability to empathise with those weaker than him. It didn’t really matter.

Everything in Rich’s life was looking up. His previously C and occasional B grades went up to As, and teachers actually feared him, instead of pitying him like before. Of course, at first some tried to corner him, asking what had caused this sudden change, but Rich always had an excuse to leave. Besides, Chloe and Brooke helped him out, distracting the teachers so he had enough time to escape. Speaking of which, Chloe and Brooke were actually not that bad. Sure Chloe was a major bitch, and Brooke was kind of a dumbass, but they were nice enough. Better than having no friends at all.

When he wasn’t hanging out with Jake or any of his other vague popular acquaintances, Rich spend his time with the two girls- and sometimes Jenna, depending on how obnoxious she was being that day. Rich didn’t actually have anything against Jenna, but Squip said he had to in order to be popular, so he ignored her like everyone else until she had a juicy piece of gossip. It was all she was useful for, anyways. He just never made eye contact with her after denying to talk, or whatever else Squip ordered him to do. It helped.

All of this continued for a year and a half, Rich climbing up the popularity scale while crushing those beneath him. It was nice, in a way. Even the shocks became less painful, and then eventually less frequent, practically nonexistent until he managed to fuck something up again, like always. But that’s what was to be expected from human garbage like him. The fact that he so much as had a squip was a miracle for his pathetic ass.

It was easy to blend in with the crowd, even at parties, where Squip had to turn off due to alcohol consumption (and it wasn’t like Rich would just not drink. That’s basically asking to be mocked). The only time any major issue popped up was during a particularly exciting game of Spin the Bottle, when Jake spun. Rich drunkenly watched the bottle spin around and around, a small, beaten up part of him wishing for it to land on him. But then it actually did. Jake stared at him in shock, a blush of obvious embarrassment rising up his face. They just stared at each other, awkwardly making eye contact until they were interrupted by Chloe’s bored “Just fucking kiss already.” Rich leaned in, lips pursed, and drunken brain celebrating, until a shock ran under his skin.

Squip was back online with a vengeance. Before he had enough time to leave, pain flowed through his nerves, forcing him to curl into a ball. He could barely hear people’s shouts, only focusing on the pain and the exasperated lecturing of Squip. But it was fine- he deserved it. He should’ve just left, after all, some embarrassment would be nothing compared to the possibility that someone could question his sexuality.

Eventually, the pain stopped, and he stumbled into the bathroom, vomiting into the sink. Luckily, people just assumed that Rich had gotten incredibly drunk and only felt the negative effects in what seemed to be the world’s most convenient timing. Jake didn’t look him in the eye for a few days, but it was better than the alternative. Anything was better than the alternative.

But other than that painful reminder of his unstable grasp on popularity, Rich was doing great. He was on top of the world. No- he was miles above the Earth’s atmosphere, watching those below him struggle to do well in classes, or fit in, or whatever it was that he used to worry about. Everything was perfect.

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Junior year was as monotonous as expected. Rich beat up losers, hung out with Jake, Chloe, and Brooke while ignoring everyone else, and passed his classes with the ease expected from someone assisted by the latest technology. Everything was going great- until one random day, when Squip gave him a weird-ass command.

It all started out normal. Rich woke up hours before school to work out, leaving his house as silently as possible to not wake up his father, ran for a while, did some push ups and jumping jacks, and took a shower, ready for the boring day ahead. After washing himself off, Rich admired himself in the mirror, thinking about how improved his life was. People respected him, he had friends, and he almost never saw his father, thanks to Squip predicting his every move.

He arrived at school, thanks to Brooke’s surprisingly good driving (even if it was in her mom’s gross-ass car). He greeted his friends, shoved around his victims- the usual. Squip told him to write Boyf on Tall-ass’s backpack and Riends on Headphones’s backpack, so he did. Part of him got the joke, but the other part was too focused on not seeming like a queer for pointing out the fact that the two boys seemed like they were dating. Not that he was gay or anything. He liked girls, okay?

He laughed at the right times, mocked Tall-ass for signing up for the school musical (even if he was eventually convinced to join in by Brooke), and went through his classes. Eventually, it was time for play rehearsal. That weird Asian girl was there, as expected, but Tall-ass was alone. Rich wondered where Headphones was, but then got distracted by the drama teacher ranting about Hot Pockets or some shit. He didn’t really get it, but that didn’t matter.

And when he looked over and saw Jake flirting with Christine, he was fine. Totally, completely fine. So fine, in fact, that he decided to leave the rehearsal for a while. Just to get some air or something. He walked around for a bit, trying to think about anything but those two, and Squip helped out by shocking him any time his thoughts got too creative.

Once he completely cooled down, Squip told him to enter the restrooms, and tell “Jeremy” about squips. After some questioning, Rich discovered that Tall-ass’s name was actually Jeremy. You learn something new every day. Rich kind of wondered why he’s ever want to assist the other boy in pursuit of popularity, but it wasn’t incredibly relevant.

Entering the bathroom, Rich spotted Jeremy (pathetically) attempting to remove Boyf from his backpack. It was kind of funny, in a sad way. After a brief, but completely needed, lecture on how much potential Jeremy could have if he just tried this tiny little Japanese pill, Rich was tired. Not to mention annoyed. How thick could that boy be? It was a simple concept, really. And if Rich got two hundred dollars out of it, that was just life.

He wondered why Jeremy, of all people, was deserving of a squip. He wasn’t very dumb, or ugly, or really anything. If anything, Jeremy just blended into the background, a perfect human chameleon. Rich figured he would have been jealous of the boy if he hadn’t become popular. At least Jeremy had the ability to blend in, with a stutter less obvious than lisping and generally average height. But now he wasn’t jealous. Rich just kinda felt bad for the guy.

Rich met up with Jake after he finished up rehearsal, ignoring the way his heart sank every time Christine was mentioned. So what if Jake had a crush? That didn’t matter. It would be the usual pattern: Jake gets interested in a girl, dates the girl for a week, and they break up after some dumb scandal. Rich figured that he should be used to it by now, but that didn’t really help anything. Just wanting to feel better helped nothing.

He did admit to himself that at least Jake had good taste. Christine was cute, if not a but over enthusiastic, and a thousand times better than whenever Chloe joined into that wonderful drama mess. At least Rich knew that if (when) Christine left Jake, she wouldn’t be sticking around. It would be a completely clean cut from his life, and they would both be better for it. Not that Rich didn’t like Chloe, of course. He just didn’t like it when Chloe dated Jake. It distracted him from more important things, like hanging out with Rich, in a completely and totally platonic way. Plus they were constantly fucking. It was kind of annoying.

Anyways, Rich didn’t like Christine and Jake together. But at least it seemed like Jeremy had a crush on Christine, so if he used his squip to become popular and got the girl, then everything would be fine, right? Right?

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Jeremy Heere was cool. Rich could barely believe it. The previously nerdy (well, still nerdy depending on who you asked) kid had suddenly shoved himself into Rich’s friend group. It was annoying to see him stare at Christine, doing nothing about his obvious crush, instead choosing to flirt with Brooke. Rich thought that giving Jeremy a squip would end the whole Christine-and-Jake thing, but apparently not.

And the worst part? When Jeremy arrived at school, still awkward and stutter-y but with a technological guide, Rich found out that he hadn’t even decided to get his squip from Rich. Which fucking sucked. He would’ve used that money to get some food, save for college, anything to get out of his house. Of course, it was only two hundred dollars, but still. It wasn’t like Squip would let him get a job and save up. That was showing weakness.

So instead of getting some help with his goals, Rich was stuck seeing Jeremy make friends and blend in. And sure, their squips had connected. They acted friendly towards each other, why wouldn’t they? Shared experiences do that to people. But that didn’t stop anger from rising up from his gut every time Jeremy didn’t do something- anything to stop Christine.

Tuning out his thoughts, Rich listened into the conversation happening next to him. Something about Chloe being her jealous self, trying to shove herself into Jake and Christine’s budding relationship. At least Rich knew he had someone on his side, even if it was just because Chloe loved being the center of attention.

Rich wasn’t even sure if Chloe liked Jake- honestly, he was probably just an excuse for her to get Brookes attention, make her jealous or whatever. Sometimes it seemed like the two girls were in a constant competition to make the other more envious. As entertaining as it was, it was starting to get on his nerves. The two were completely oblivious to each other’s feelings. Luckily for Rich, Jenna seemed to share his opinions, looking up at the school’s security cameras, Office-style every time something especially stupid happened.

Speaking of Jenna, Rich was starting to feel even more bad for her. Chloe and Brooke had started this new habit of talking about her behind her back, only right next to her, saying that “Jenna Rolan said this” or “Did you hear what Jenna told me?” when the gossip was in the same room. But, of course, every time he tried to reach out to Jenna, his squip just shocked him into submission, as per the norm. Not that he was bitter about it, of course. It was necessary to keep his high social standing, right? Rich had to keep telling himself that, or else he would crack, and be back to eating lunch in the library with no friends.

Sometimes, Rich fantasised about killing himself. Not that he really wanted to, or anything, just that if he ever really fucked anything up, and was back to being that short, nerdy, lisp-y loser, he knew that he had an option so he wouldn’t have to live through all of that ever again. It would be too much to deal with, especially if he didn’t have his dad’s schedule memorised, and every move predicted. Not that he was especially terrible, it was just that Rich didn’t want to be yelled at and called pathetic by a drunken, jobless asshole.

Rich tried to not think about the dark place his thoughts had just gone to. It was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine. His thoughts had to move to a different place, something to distract him- oh, there was Headphones Kid. He was just sitting at a table, across the room, staring at Jeremy.

For a second, Rich made eye contact, but expertly started coughing to distract him. Unfortunately, his incredible maneuver didn’t work, and Headphones was still staring. Ugh. Rich guessed that Jeremy’s squip used optic nerve blocking on him. He wondered whether Jeremy knew about that or not.

At first, when Rich had become vaguely popular, Squip had blocked out Jake from his vision when he wasn’t in class. It was a “necessary precaution” Squip said, to make sure that Rich didn’t get distracted and slip his put together facade. Rich wasn’t mad anymore. He was a freak. If Squip decided it would be best for him to not see Jake, he had no right to disagree. Jake was a variable Squip couldn’t control, especially not Rich’s dumbass feelings. If he had any. Which he most definitely didn’t, because Rich only liked girls. And he definitely wasn’t staring at Brookes tits to prove that fact to himself.

Somehow, Rich felt like Squip being around less and less may be an issue. He couldn’t be trusted to be alone with his thoughts.

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Sometimes, Rich felt like Squip was doing things with his body without telling him first. Sometimes, he’d wake up in the morning after what he thought was eight hours of sleep feeling completely exhausted. Sometimes, Rich noticed the amount of money he kept hidden decreasing by four hundred dollars on a regular basis. But always, Squip would pop up, ready to distract this train of thought.

Every once in a while, Rich would look in his locker when Squip turned itself off, and notice a shoebox, filled to the brim with squips. But then it would be gone, slipping through his fingers like it was made of dust. He didn’t know whether he could trust Squip anymore, assuming he ever trusted Squip in the first place. How often was it using optic nerve blocking without telling him? There was no way of knowing, and the thought sent shivers down his back, almost as painful as the electric shocks he received whenever he got too deep into thought.

But that wasn’t too important. What was important was Jake’s Halloween party. It was that night, and Rich couldn’t wait. Sure, it would be hour after hour being forced to watch Christine and Jake flirting, featuring booze and pot and whatever else Rich didn’t exactly want but would put into his body nonetheless. But that didn’t matter. It was gonna be “lit, fam”, as Jeremy said constantly (whether or not it was ironic, Rich wasn’t sure. Jeremy was an enigma of faux chill and secret dorkiness).

Sneaking up into his room, Rich was careful to not get the attention of his father. It was only five o’clock in the afternoon, and his dad was already sitting in front of the television, shitty news playing in the background while he drank himself to death. If he managed to avoid his father, Rich would be fine. He could find some mediocre costume and get ready for a night he would never forget. Or forget immediately, depending on how wasted he got.

Rich passed by his brother’s room. It was still full of his stuff, despite his absence from Rich’s life for the past few years. There were posters from horror movies, a box that totally wasn’t full of (basically ancient) weed, and a replica Jason mask. What he wouldn’t give to see his brother again, spend some time with the boy who abandoned him so many years ago. Rich wondered whether the current version of him would be more loved. If he was like this during his brother’s senior year, then would he not have left? Scratch that. Rich just needed to find a Halloween costume and stop thinking so much.

Squip suggested something lazy that showed off how little he cared about both the party and Jake in general. It seemed too fake to be believed by anyone close enough to Rich, but no one really fell into that category, did they? So he grabbed the Jason mask from it’s shelf, and snuck into his room.

He put on some darker clothing that somehow managed to make the costume even more shitty. And yet, somehow, Squip said he wasn’t done yet. He needed something to complete the look, like a weapon. But then Rich spotted a loaf of bread sitting in his box of random food supplies, and he knew he was ready for the party.

The bread wasn’t even shaped like any discernible weapon. It was perfectly half-assed enough for Squip’s approval, and was probably going to get moldy soon, so it didn’t matter much what Rich ended up using it for. And who didn’t like bread? He was almost disturbingly proud of his bread-machete idea, enough that he almost didn’t notice his money storage being completely missing.

The area underneath his bed where cash was usually stored had become empty, missing every dollar he had spent so long collecting to leave for college. It was Squip- it had to be.

“Oh, so you noticed. Unfortunate, but not completely surprising.”

Squip popped up in front of Rich- right where his money had once been. He wanted to punch the jerk in his stupid froggy face. Why couldn’t his brain have thought of something he hated for Squip to take the form of, and not a beloved children’s television character? He used to like Kermit the frog. Ugh. Whatever. There were more important things to think about right now.

“What did you do with my money, motherfucker?” Rich snarled, teeth bared like a cornered beast.

Squip just shrugged. “You really shouldn’t be asking me this right now. That party is starting in a few minutes, and you don’t want to be late. If you don’t go, then you can’t see Jake, now can you?” His stupid puppet face twisted into a smirk.

“Stop using Jake against me- you know I’m a fag, I know I’m a fag, can we just fucking ignore it for a second, and talk about what you did with my savings?” Rich hated saying he liked guys out loud. If he said it out loud, it made it true. And it wasn’t true- it couldn’t be.

“We could talk about that. Or, we could just walk to Jake’s party. I think I like the second option more.”

Suddenly, Rich’s limbs were moving on their own, and Squip became a sort of puppeteer, making him walk down stairs, exit his house, and start walking to Jake’s house. He knew the walking part must have been punishment for questioning Squip. Jake’s house was a mile or two away, in the nice part of town, far away from homes with jobless, alcoholic fathers and teenage losers.

Finally, he arrived at Jake’s house. It looked like it was ripped out of some mother’s home magazine, picket fence and all. Only, it was blasting music, and the lawn was covered in smoking teenagers and red solo cups. Swallowing his pride, and clutching his bread-machete, Rich opened the door, stepping in.

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To be completely honest, Rich didn’t remember much from the night of Jake’s Halloween party. His main memory was overhearing a conversation between Jake and Christine. Despite the obvious awkward air between the two, thanks to a mistake in communication that resulted in Jake dressed up as Prince, there was still enough romantic intentions to make Rich have to find some comfort in one of the only things he knew always worked: alcohol.

The punch was so spiked with booze that it could be set aflame with a single rogue match- not that Rich was thinking about starting a fire or anything. That would be terrible. Even if it could stop Squip- break his plans before they reached their final phase. Chugging down a cup of the drink, Rich filed that thought into the “Stupid Ideas” section of his brain. Next to every decision he had ever made in his entire life.

The dancing around him was enthusiastic, teens bopping around to whatever music was popular that week, and Rich decided to join in. Anything to get his mind off of everything that had been happening. At first, he just swayed from side to side, sometimes jumping around every time the music got -really- energetic. But then he got lost in the beat, punching the air like it could fix all of his problems. His dancing became frantic, drunkenness mixed with pure terror and rage at what he had become.

He didn’t notice people moving out of his way. He didn’t see the fear in their eyes when they realised that he was so lost in his own thoughts that nothing they did could drag him out of his own mind. And he definitely didn’t realise the way that everyone left after it went on for so long that sweat dripped down into his open eyes, not wiped away when it mixed with salty tears.

After a while, he got out of it. Whether it was from realisation at how strange he seemed or pure exhaustion, no one knew. But he returned from his mind with a vague memory. When he left the Payless after buying a squip- the man had said something about Mountain Dew Red. He had to think.

Rich drank more, trying to keep Squip from turning back on. So what if he could barely see straight, moving around in a drunken haze? It worked well enough that Squip stayed away. If regular, green Mountain Dew turned it on, then the logical conclusion must’ve been that Red Mountain Dew turned it off, right? It was like some kind of messed up stoplight, and Rich needed to break the engine of his fucking car by pouring soda into it. Wait. That didn’t make any sense.

Whatever. Rich needed Mountain Dew Red right now. Someone must’ve had it at the party, right? But he also had to distract Squip. So Rich kept drinking and drinking, running around to unsuspecting partygoers and screaming at them to help him, get him some Mountain Dew Red. Part of him wondered where his friends went. He hadn’t seen Jake, or Jeremy, or Christine, or Chloe, or really anyone since his dancing. Well, other than Jenna. Assuming the person in that freaky-ass clown costume was Jenna.

Anyways, his search didn’t work. At all. But that didn’t stop him. Because he had to prevent Squip’s plans now, when he had the chance. Out of the corner of his eye, Rich noticed Jeremy talking to Christine. It looked like the two had finally started flirting, thank god. But Rich had better things to think about than his shitty excuse for a love life. Jeremy was friends with Headphones, right? And Headphones must have some Mountain Dew Red, after all, he was always walking around with some mediocre ancient soda at school.

Rich tried to ask Jeremy for help, but everything he said was too loud, too obnoxious to really get through to him. Sure, Rich was aware of that. But he was also way too drunk to do anything about it. And he was too drunk to give a fuck that he was interrupting Jeremy pathetically attempting to flirt. But after ten minutes of trying to ask for help, Rich had to give up.

He tried to think of anything else to try so he could stop Squip from gaining control of everyone, or whatever else he would be doing with all of that tech. And then he remembered that thing. The thing he said he would never do. But it was too late, and Rich was too drunk to have even a slight amount of impulse control, so he grabbed a lighter from it’s place on Jake’s kitchen counter, and made sure that the kitchen was completely empty.

Pouring out the contents of the punch bowl over the kitchen was harder than Rich thought it was gonna be, thanks to impaired vision and control of his limbs, but he managed. Of course, his definition of managed included getting a ton of super-alcoholic punch all over himself, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered other than stopping Squip.

The next thing Rich knew, he was lighting the kitchen on fire, jumping around as flames surrounded his body, burning everything in sight- including his own skin. But the pain was nothing compared to the years of electric shocks he had to deal with, and at this point, him getting hurt was part of the plan. If he was hurt, then Squip couldn’t use his body. In fact, his death would be helpful.

Smoke was everywhere, and Rich could barely even see in front of himself. His lungs filled with the stuff, choking him until he finally passed out. But he was fine with it. He didn’t hear screaming, feel strong arms lifting him up and hauling him out of a window to safety, and he couldn’t listen enough to notice the crunch of broken bones as Jake fell, trying to save his best friend. No, Rich was asleep. And he felt fine for the first time in years.

Chapter Text

Rich woke up to the beeping of a heart monitor. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt like they were glued shut, and releasing the seal of that glue took more effort than he was able to give. Everything felt numb, so numb that he knew he should probably be in extreme pain right now. But he didn’t particularly care, his head was too foggy to have any thoughts that lasted more than a millisecond.

He could feel bedsheets around him, comfortably swallowing him up in a bundle of warmth and relaxation. Everything surrounding him was so plush. His head rested on a soft pillow, and Rich had never felt more safe and secure than in this moment. It was perfect.

Of course, perfection never lasts long. There was a noise in the back of his brain that sounded like an old computer restarting, and then Squip began to speak.

“So you thought you could get rid of me with that little stunt. Adorable.”

Suddenly, Rich remembered why he was unable to move. He now knew where he was. He thought he was safe, but apparently not. Nothing good ever lasted long for him, anyways. He doesn’t deserve a happy ending. All Rich deserves is an ending, like what would have happened if the fire got to him completely like he had thought it would. Instead of being stuck in a hospital bed with only Squip and his thoughts, he would be done, finally finished with the bullshit that came with such advanced technology.

But there wasn’t enough time to think about all of his terrible mistakes before Squip returned to berating him, picking apart his every insecurity with the full intent to break him.

“Well, of course the fire didn’t kill you. You’re like a fucking cockroach. No matter how hard I try, I can’t kill you. But this is a nice alternative, I suppose. You can’t do anything to stop me when you’re stuck in a cast. Besides, I don’t need you. We have Jeremy, after all, and he’s a far more valuable pawn than you’ll ever be.”

Rich wasn’t sure if he felt complimented or insulted by the first part of that statement. But the second part… The second part terrified him. Did nothing in his plan work? It seemed like it. And even worse, by almost dying, he just stuck Jeremy in his old position, something he wouldn’t wish on anyone. Except for Squip. Squip could suck his dick.

“I can hear that, you know. And it isn’t like you could have ever prevented us by just choosing to not set your crush’s house on fire. Oh… Wait. That would have worked, wouldn’t it, dumbass. But it’s too late for that now.”

Rich wanted to scream at Squip, insult him until nothing was left to attack, but that didn’t seem to be possible. Instead, he slipped back into the darkness of his mind, sleeping once again. His drowsy brain wanted to stay awake, trying it’s hardest to do so, but to no avail. Rich was too far gone into the expanse of his dreams.

When Rich awoke again, it was to pain. So much overwhelming pain. It felt like his body was feeling every electrocution, every burn from that Halloween party at once. He wanted to scream. He wanted to do something to stop it. But nothing worked, so Rich just continued lying on his bed, writhing (as little as he could) in complete agony.

Just when he felt like he was going to pass out from the pain, it stopped. He waited for some snarky response from the friendly asshole currently occupying his brain, but got nothing. He baited Squip for a while, thinking things he knew would piss it off, like “Wow this hurt so much. Squip, play Despacito”, and “Hey Squip, what’s pi? Not the definition of it. Just, like, what’s every number in pi? Asking for a friend.” to no avail.

After what felt like hours of trying, Rich finally gave up. As much as it hurt him to admit it, he had no way of knowing if Squip was actually gone for good, or if it was just on some vacation with other technology that was bound to be outdated, like VHS tapes and Blueberrys. Ok, so that might have been another low jab to try and lure it out from its hiding place. So what.

Rich passed out again a bit later. He was so tired. Not from lack of sleep or anything, he’d honestly been getting too much of that recently. Just tired from having to lie there, staring at nothing but the inside of his eyelids, and waiting for Squip to come back and return to insulting him. Not that he wanted that to happen, exactly. Just that Rich knew that finally getting back to the attacks would be an improvement from the dread filling his mind.

His dreams were terrible, as to be expected from someone as fucked up as Rich. They were flashes of memories, some real, some exaggerated, scarred by his brain to make them even worse. He remembered his father yelling at him for the first time, drunk off his ass and angry at everything within a mile. Only it wasn’t his father, it was a cloaked green figure, resembling a puppet less than it did a hideous monster. Squip screamed, booze and cigarette scented breath covering Rich’s face, making him cough.

Just when he thought that the yelling had died down, it switched to his first day of high school. He was just a short loser, trying to carry a backpack that was heavier than his own body up stairs that looked ten times taller than they actually were. Right when he reached the top, he was dragged away by a kid twice as tall as him and even stronger. His head was shoved into a toilet, only released whenever he stopped choking and screaming, to ensure that he never actually died. When he recovered, he didn’t see the junior that actually attacked him. Instead it was a group of people- his friends.

While Jake grabbed ahold of his wet hair, tugging at it in order to keep him in place, Jenna recorded the whole thing, clearly ready to post it on Snapchat for the whole school to see. Chloe and Brooke giggled, bonding over their clear mutual dislike for the boy. Jeremy yelled orders to Jake, screaming at him to keep going, not stop drowning Rich, and Jake finally obliged, continuing the pain. After a few repetitions, Rich was finally released, scrambling away from Jake and the rest of the group, into Christine’s expecting arms. Instead of doing something to help, she just stood there as he was dragged back into the circle of hell.

Blood dripped into his eyes, blocking out his ability to see anything but red. And yet, he could still hear, listen to the laughs of his so-called friends. The pain was overwhelming, and he could practically feel every layer of skin ripping apart, bit by bit until nothing was left. Rich tried to scream, but was it really worth it? No one around him seemed to care. He wasn’t even sure if he cared. Rich deserved it, after all. He was a shitty person, and no amount of hurt would be able to fix that.

Finally, it was over. Rich opened his eyes- he could finally do that again, for whatever reason. The light practically blinded him, but he was too overwhelmed to care. Once his vision finally adjusted, he looked over to the bed next to him, and saw Headphones sitting next to it, blocking his view of the person resting. Rich couldn’t breathe. He just laid there, trying to remember what it was like to not be in pain, and failing.

Headphones noticed him struggling, and got him to take in air. Breath in, hold, out. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. In, hold, out. Repetition after repetition. It hurt to breath, at first. Everything was too overwhelming, and bright, and not fine, and he almost died, and he could’ve killed someone in the fire, he could’ve killed Jake, or Brooke, or Chloe, or any number of people he had never even met. But Rich felt okay, after a while. His breaths became more even, his mind more calm. He could think clearly, at least well enough to thank Headphones before passing out again.

Chapter Text

Rich was really getting tired of the whole waking-up-then-passing-out-immediately-afterwards thing. Like, it was fine at first. Annoying, but tolerable. But now it’s just getting annoying. His eyes are all sticky and watery, his head aches, and it had taken way too long to realise that the figure lying in the bed beside him was Jeremy. But it was him- freshly squip free and all.

In the beginning, Rich had thought that his plan failed even more than he could ever have guessed. Both him and Jeremy in the hospital practically screamed failure. But then he remembered Headphones sitting next to Jeremy, and realised that couldn’t be true. After all, if the squips had won, there was no way that Headphones’s would have let him keep the ugly, ratty ass hoodie he always wore. Or the glasses. Or the general personality. Squips didn’t seem to like genuine people, preferring their cookie cutter replicas instead.

Tired of the constantly terrible sleep routine, Rich promised to himself that he would stay awake, at least until he got more than a few seconds of human contact. And the panic attack didn’t count. So, Rich just stared at the wall, waiting for something to happen. Unfortunately, nothing did. But that never stopped him from trying to see if there was anything to catch his attention long enough to keep him awake.

A fly buzzing from one side of the room to another did the trick, until he heard someone loudly muttering to himself in pain. Jeremy must have woken up.

“Feels like you’re missing a part of yourself, doesn’t it?”

“... Rich?”

Admittedly, Rich shouldn’t have been as shocked as he was hearing the surprise in the other boy’s voice. Jeremy didn’t seem to particularly like him unless the situation required them to be friends, and even then it was strained at best. Of course, that was assuming that Jeremy was commenting on the sudden caring tone in Rich’s words, and not the painfully obvious lisp. Sometimes, Rich forgot how much Squip really helped him until he opened his mouth and realised that he had to choose his words carefully, or be forced to sound like a complete loser.

Speaking of being a complete loser, Rich absolutely had to know what everyone at school thought of what happened. Would they forgive him? After all, it was his fault that their house was destroyed, and their life was probably ruined because of his stupid mistake and then they would never talk to him again, and at this point Rich had to admit that he was only thinking about Jake, not the school as a whole, and he should take his head out of his ass and listen to Jeremy’s response to his question which he asked while he thought but he didn’t notice he said it because he was too busy freaking out about Jake and-

“... Sorry…”

Well that sure answered his question. Everyone hated him now, didn’t they. But at least he was free, safe from the squips and bullying and lying to the people he loved. Speaking of which…

“Oh my god, I’m totally bi!”

Wow. That felt like a fifty pound weight had been lifted off of his chest, and he could finally breathe again. He barely even noticed Headphones Kid coming in, until the hospital curtain was shut in his face. Rude. Although, admittedly, who wouldn’t want a bit of privacy to talk to his best friend. Not that doing so would stop Rich from overhearing their conversation, just a bit.

Headphone was explaining the shit that went down- super helpful to learn about how well everyone seemed to be doing without Rich- definitely not a massive blow to his ego or anything. Even the people who didn’t know what squips were seemed to be helping Jeremy out more than Rich managed to. It… hurt, to say the least.

Another thing Rich managed to get from the conversation was that Headphone’s actual name was Michael. Well, that would have been helpful to know months ago, but whatever. Admittedly, Michael was pretty cute, and if Rich wasn’t so invested in his crush on Jake, and Michael wasn’t clearly obsessed with having to suck Jeremy’s face, Rich woulda tapped that. Was that too crude? Rich didn’t really give a fuck.

After sitting around bored for a few minutes, he moved the curtain out of his face, letting Rich see the scene going on in front of him, Rich felt like he should probably interject, give Jeremy some advice for when he asked out Christine. But instead of saying something cute and sappy like he originally intended, his terrible lack of self-censorship kicked in, and he said something about how Jeremy should tell Christine that she makes him horny. Honestly, it was completely worth it to see the look on the boy’s face once he processed what Rich said.

And of course, completely thanks to Rich’s terrible decision making, Jeremy left right after that little interjection, clearly way too uncomfortable to stay there. Michael stared at him leaving, an obvious melancholy showing up on his face that had been cleverly hidden under pride for his friend. He glanced at Jeremy’s dad (how long had he been here?), and began to trudge towards his crush, eventually running to catch up, telling him statements of encouragement.

Poor kid. Not that Rich couldn’t relate though. He had gone through that wonderful bullshit time after time with Jake’s girlfriends, telling him how much he supported the relationships to his friend’s face, and crying in the school bathrooms once he knew no one was going to be in there. Of course, Squip was always there to shock him back into submission, but it always took a bit longer than it wanted to realise what was happening to him.

Once Jeremy’s dad had left, Rich could relax again. Not that he had anything against the man, it was just that Rich wasn’t particularly comfortable around fathers. Plus there was that thing Jeremy once told him about his dad drinking, and even though it was probably just a squip thing to connect the two through shared experiences, Rich could never be too careful. The last thing he wanted was to be trapped in a room with someone just like his dad.

He closed his eyes, leaning into his bed, and journeying back into a world of rest. After all, he really needed it after the past few months- no- years.

Chapter Text

It had been weeks, and Rich still had yet to see Jake. All of his other close friends had come to visit him in the hospital- even Jenna, despite how he acted like an asshole to her for the past few years. She even forgave him for the way that he’d look away from her in the halls when she waved at him, ignoring her until she had some juicy piece of gossip for the group to discuss. Honestly, even though Jenna spent most of her time at the hospital on her phone she was still great company.

When Chloe and Brooke visited him, it was as a couple. Apparently in the time he’d been recovering in the hospital (a month. It had been a whole month until he managed to be awake for more than an hour at a time.) they’d made up, trying out a relationship. It was clearly awkward, and sometimes Chloe would say something bitchy accidentally or Brooke would be too uncomfortable to disagree with her, but they seemed to be a good pair, given enough time to fix everything that had happened in the years of dating to gain the other’s attention.

Unfortunately for Rich, he couldn’t really move in his casts, which meant he had no way to look away when the two started making out on his hospital bed. Of course, he could always close his eyes, but that didn’t exactly help since he could still hear everything. He was happy for them, of course, but damn if they weren’t enthusiastic at times where they could just… not.

Jeremy and Michael visited occasionally once Jeremy left the hospital, stopping by to give him schoolwork (which Rich could never bring himself to start) and the lastest news on the members of their school. Speaking of which, apparently Dustin got caught vaping in the school’s bathrooms and was suspended for a few weeks. Eh. It was gonna happen eventually.

Rich could never quite figure out the nature of Jeremy and Michael’s relationship, and Jeremy and Christine’s apparently hilariously failed date didn’t seem to help anything. Apparently, the two had attempted to go to Sbarro, where they saw Jake working, and then were too uncomfortable to do anything but make small talk the whole time. The climax of the terrible date was when Christine admitted to Jeremy that she wasn’t even sure she could be attracted to people, saying that she was probably ace, but didn’t know for sure yet. Rich could relate, thinking back to his awkward days as a freshman.

Since then, Jeremy and Christine had been hanging out occasionally as friends, sometimes accompanied by a totally not jealous Michael. At least it seemed like he was starting to get over his huge envy of the girl once he got to know her, realising that she was too nice to dislike. Plus apparently they had bonded over Dungeons and Dragons like the major nerds they are.

Speaking of Christine, she had visited him a few times, once with Jeremy and Michael and once completely alone. Rich noticed that the girl really was a force to be reckoned with, so enthusiastic that her energy could power a small city for years. He really regretted mentioning that he had listened to Rent a few times before the squip thing (and totally not because he thought Roger was hot- that’d be ridiculous), and Christine had gone on an hour long rant about the way that it showed the gritty reality of living as an artist, but of course that wouldn’t ever stop her from pursuing her dreams because she was prepared.

The second time was a bit more personal. A slightly shyer version of her entered the room, checking to make sure no one was in there before she began talking. Her face twisted into a mix of uncomfortable and pondering her next move, and then she started to form words, fidgeting with the end of her skirt.

“Hey Rich. How did you know you were- you know- bi? Because I think I’m going through something kinda similar, only like the opposite?”

“Oh yeah. Jeremy told me about the date thing.”

Rich began to speak about how he figured out his sexuality, not completely sure how much it would apply to Christine. Yet as he spoke, she perked up, stopped fidgeting uncomfortably, and looked more confident. She joined into the conversation afterwards, telling him about how on stage she could pretend to be attracted to someone, so she just figured it was the same sort of feeling off stage. But through flirting with Jake, and trying to date Jeremy, she realised that she just felt like she was going through the motions, performing romantic feelings rather than actually having them.

They spent a while talking about the intricacies of sexuality and romantic attraction for a while. That is, until Rich slipped up and accidentally mentioned that he was a fan of Falsettos, listening to it on his phone while he waited for some human interaction in the hospital. That made Christine completely ignore the previous topic in favor of ranting about how amazing the musical was, and how she had spent so long saving up for good tickets to the Broadway revival. Rich just wallowed in jealousy.

Speaking of jealousy, sometimes his friends would slip up, mentioning Jake, and then pretending that they had said some other name. Which is ridiculous, because clearly none of them were friends with Drake. If they were, they would’ve told Rich, right? Anyways, they’d slip up, and mention him. From what Rich got out of these mistakes, Jake was in the same hospital as him for a while, recovering from walking with broken bones in his legs (what the hell happened to him?). He was living in an apartment, using the money he got from his house’s safe, which luckily hadn’t burned in the fire. Oh, and his parents were still gone. Which was a complete dick move of them.

Rich missed Jake, but he knew that he didn’t really deserve to see him anyways. He’d burnt his house down, after all. But he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wanted to meet with him and hold him, apologising for all of his mistakes and begging for a second try. Because he really needed one, even if he didn’t deserve it, just like how he was going to keep quiet about his feelings for the boy, even if he wanted to. Jake deserved better than someone who would do something as stupid as swallow an evil tech pill.

And so Rich laid around, waiting for someone to visit, when he saw a figure moving towards him. It seemed to be hesitant, not sure if it should enter or not. But then it made its decision, straightened its shoulders, and pulled open the curtain surrounding his bed to reveal… Oh shit. It was Jake. He was finally here, ready to talk to Rich about how they couldn’t be friends anymore, and he knew about Rich’s dumb gay crush. Fuck.

Chapter Text

Rich noticed a few key differences between the Jake he remembered and the Jake he was staring at in shock. Admittedly, it had been a month or so. Of course he’d changed. Rich had changed too, after all. His previously uncomfortably freckled face was now splattered with burn scars, and the dyed-red hair stripe had faded out into his regular dirty blonde color. But this was more than Rich could have ever expected.

Jake had burn scars to rival his own- extending down his arms, and on what little Rich could see of his legs. Oh, and speaking of Jake’s legs, they were dangling down from the seat of Jake’s hospital wheelchair. Because apparently now that was a thing. Rich didn’t even dare to look at Jake’s face, in fear of the possibility that he could accidentally stare into his eyes and make the situation even more uncomfortable.

“Hey Jake. So… why are you here? I haven’t seen you since, well, you know.” Rich mumbled, one hand brushing through the right side of his hair in a pathetic attempt to calm himself down. It didn’t exactly work, but at least he was trying, right?

“I just wanted to apologize for avoiding you for so long. I feel terrible, dude. Like, sure you burnt my house down and all, and I was really bitter about that for a while, but then Chloe chased me down and yelled at me about how it wasn’t -really- your fault, just the squid’s. Or is it squick? Quick?”

Rich laughed out loud, forgetting just how uncomfortable he was for a second. But then what Jake said settled, and he knew that he should probably respond.

“It’s called a squip. Weird, I know. But y- you shouldn’t be blaming yourself for any of it. Or be ignoring the fact that I still burnt your house down. Even if the squip did some stuff, it was still my fault.”

Rich tried to bury his face into his knees, attempting to make sure that Jake would never see him crying and realise just how weak he really was. But then he heard a snicker, and had to look back up in confusion.

“Wait- dude. Do you have a lisp? Holy shit I thought Jenna was joking about that, but-”

“S-stop. Don’t make fun of me, ok? I know I sound stupid, you don’t have to shove it into my face.”

“Rich, no! I really don’t think you sound dumb, I swear. I just thought she was tricking me. Actually, if you really have to know, for a while the girls had me convinced that you were replaced by an evil clone, and that’s why you were so cool with me, but still beat up all those underclassmen. They had me fooled for a solid week until Jeremy slipped up. Really, I like your lisp. I think you sound cu- cool. I think you sound cool.”

Rich’s face turned bright red. Of course, he had no way of seeing his face, but he could just assume based on the burning feeling spreading over his cheeks, and a sudden impulse to start screaming in happiness. Not that he would actually do that. He may now be squipless, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t have any standards.

“Ohokaythanks.” Rich blurted out, blending these three words into a strange smoothie of English.

Jake smirked a bit, trying to let Rich know that he really didn’t care about how much he’d changed since the squip left. Sure. he was different, changing in ways that he couldn’t have ever predicted, but did explain some of Rich’s stranger behavior. Like how whenever he got drunk, he always chose his words really slowly, probably to ensure that no one would ever hear him lisp. Jake figured it might be a good time to change the topic of conversation to something less awkward before he melted into a puddle of embarrassment.

“So. I heard that your shitty dad hasn’t visited at all since you go into the hospital. You even know if you can go back to your house when you get out of the hospital?” Fuck. That… didn’t come out the way it was supposed to. Jake had to fix that sentence.

“I mean- because if you can’t, or don’t want to, or whatever, I have my apartment. There’s only one bed, but there’s a couch you could sleep on, plus it’s pretty close to school. And if you lived with me, you’d have to get a job and all, so we could pay the bills, since my parents don’t seem to be coming back any time soon, so if you don’t want to it’s cool.” Jake said as cooly as possible, trying to make his parent’s absence a simple afterthought, not the main source of his issues. Whatever. At least they left him some money.

Rich didn’t even give himself a minute to think about it, remembering how much his dad sucked at, well, everything, and how he couldn’t wait to leave his shitty house.

“Yes.” He blurted out, realising just how desperate he probably sounded immediately afterwards. But Jake didn’t seem to notice. Probably.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, and for the first time since the conversation began, it didn’t feel awkward. It was like two puzzle pieces fitting together for the first time, everything satisfying and perfect for one beautiful moment. But then Rich looked away. He knew that he could never be with Jake. Jake was too good for him, especially now that he didn’t have Squip to tell him what to do.

Sure, he was better now without the evil tic tac, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t miss it sometimes. If it was with him now, it would have probably shocked him before he even got to say a word to Jake, because at this point it seemed like even talking to the boy was fucking everything up, due to his incredible talent at general terribleness.

But somehow, Jake was still there with him. He was still sitting next to Rich’s hospital bed, somewhat shocked from the previous encounter, but with a slightly dopey smile on his face. Maybe, just maybe, this wouldn’t be so bad.

Chapter Text

To be completely honest, their apartment was absolute shit. But hey, they made it work. Jake slept on the only-somewhat-sketchy bed, while Rich napped on the couch whenever he could bring himself to actually sleep. They played video games on an ancient Wii they found in a thrift store (it came with Animal Crossing for free!), and attempted to study on the possibly moldy wooden table next to their kitchen. And by kitchen, they meant microwave and mini fridge.

Sure, Rich would sometimes wake Jake up with a panic attack, stuck in the past and unable to leave the fire-consumed home, but Jake was always there to keep him company and assure him of his safety once the worst parts were over. Jake seemed to always be there when Rich needed him. He wasn’t entirely sure why- he didn’t even know why he was still allowed to live in the apartment after the first freakout- but it definitely helped.

Sometimes, Rich would have to hide in the bathrooms because Jake was walking around wearing only boxers, and he was so certain he would fluster and fuck up immediately he refused to communicate with the other boy. Unfortunately, this seemed to be happening more and more as they grew more comfortable living together. Part of Rich couldn’t exactly complain, but the more logical side of his brain knew that he was just being a major idiot again, and shouldn’t let his romantic feelings stop him from his goals. Until he got an awkward boner. Then the dumb side and the smart side agreed on making a strategic exit until danger passed.

Not that it happened much. Or that it rarely happened. It was an occurrence the exact average amount of- whatever. Thinking about awkward boners didn’t seem to do anything, other than making him more uncomfortable. And Rich didn’t seem to need any help with that aspect of things.

Example A: When Rich started to ramble-whisper out loud about his crush in the middle of the night, not realising that Jake was still awake and 100% in hearing range. Example B: The time that Rich forgot to lock the bathroom door, and Jake walked in on him exiting the shower, completely naked. Example C: Literally any other time the two interacted.

None of their friends had come to their apartment yet, and Rich and Jake were honestly pretty cool with it that way. Sure, they loved their friend group, but they also didn’t want to get kicked out for being too loud. Or because Chloe and Brooke decided to find a very-public, very-obvious place to make out.

The two girls were like, the exact opposite of how they used to be, yet somehow still the same. It was actually kind of creepy, just how attached at the hip they had become. But it was still sweet, especially now that Brooke had started to stand up for herself, and Chloe tried to create a filter for her bitchy ways. Well meaning, but still really rude. It worked surprisingly well.

Jeremy and Michael however… They were still in the process of figuring out that their mutual crushes were, well, mutual. The two would be in the middle of a conversation about some nerdy shit, lean in, and get so close to actually kissing but freak out at just the right moment for it to seem outstandingly awkward. Jake was actually pretty sure that Jenna and Rich had started a secret (well, secret from him) betting pool on how long it would be until they got together. If he wasn’t being kept as far away from that little scheme as possible, he would place his bets on Brooke. She tended to know what she was doing.

But back to their garbage dump apartment. The walls were either puke-green or covered in ancient, peeling wallpaper that wouldn’t look out of place in a horror film. To be completely honest, the only part of it that Jake liked was Rich, and the only part of it that Rich liked was Jake. Even though they never seemed to see each other as often as they wanted to, thanks to Jake’s job at Sbarro's and Rich’s work at a bookstore, reshelving and stocking new novels, even if they kinda sucked sometimes.

Plus, even when they weren’t working, they had school, whether studying to catch up on all they missed thanks to the squips or actually spending time in class, attempting (and usually failing) to not fall asleep.

And yet, with all of these things keeping them apart, RIch and Jake were closer than ever. Rich was completely shocked when he realised that Jake actually preferred this dumbass, loser version of himself. Even though he had shitty taste in music, lisped every time he tried to talk, and sometimes got so angry at himself that he threw stuff at the apartment’s wall, usually resulting in the people next door screaming at him in French? Spanish? Rich… wasn’t particularly good at identifying languages.

They always made sure to carve out some extra time each week to just hang out, watch some garbage reality show on Netflix, and wonder what terrible things they must have done in a past life to result in the creation of the Kardashians. They sat next to each other on a tiny, threadbare couch, both wanting to lean in, but neither having the gut to do it first. So, they just awkwardly sat there, yelling at the television whenever anyone did anything uniquely stupid.

Well, until one night. It was just a regular Tuesday, both boys off of work, and watching old episodes of Cupcake Wars, because why not. The theme of the episode was Valentine’s day, and the bakers had to create special displays themed on romance. In the lull of one baker complaining about how her batter wasn’t rising as much as it needed to, Rich leaned onto Jake’s arm, face resting on his shoulder.

Jake was somewhat uncomfortable, but only because he knew what he was about to do, and didn’t know whether he wanted to stop it or not. He looked over at Rich. He looked tired, but still keeping himself awake enough that he wouldn’t have to screw up his sleep schedule more than it was already. It was honestly pretty adorable.

Jake leaned in, sensing Rich becoming tense, realising exactly what was happening, yet doing absolutely nothing to stop it. Their eyes met, their lips touched, and finally, after long nights of wishing and wondering what it would be like, they kissed.

Chapter Text

Months later, Rich felt better. Months later, he was finally beginning to become okay with himself. Months later, all the shitty puzzle pieces that made up his life were finally beginning to come together, and the picture they formed was surprisingly beautiful. He could never have expected that the squip-enforced decision to tell some dorky kid about the technology would ever lead to him thriving, with actual friends who cared about him, and a boyfriend that he loved.

Sure, not everything was always perfect. He still had panic attacks when he saw too much fire, or felt a shock, or anything relating the the hell he lived through for years, but now there were people to support him, lifting him up whenever he tripped and fell.

And now, after all of the stress and general garbage-ness of high school, he was ready to graduate and finally leave this terrible school behind. He wore his graduation robe, standing in front of the mirror in his bathroom, looking at himself in the reflection. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any robes in his size left by the time he got to get one fit, but it was whatever. Even if the robe drooped a ton, more than brushing against the floor, he didn’t particularly care. Besides, if the robe covered more of his skin, he was less likely to be caught being naked under it.

About that. Rich was currently in the middle of a bet with Jenna to do every dumb thing that a senior had ever done at his school, without getting caught. So far, he’d skipped all of his classes to go to lunch all day, even though lunch periods were only halfway through the day, so he just kinda sat at the tables for hours completely alone, put weed in the ventilation system, slowly getting the entire school high (note to self: Mr. Reyes was scary as fuck when he was high. Do not try again), and he’d even shoved a ton of love notes in Jake’s locker a month before valentine’s day. And then realised that it was Madeline’s locker immediately afterwards. Rich cringed thinking back to that mess.

So, anyways, he glanced away from the mirror, breaking eye contact with himself to brush his teeth, humming some dumb pop song Jake had been playing nonstop. To be completely fair, Rich was terrified for the future. Sure, he was going to technical college, learning to work on cars and become an auto mechanic, while Jake was going to a school nearby to learn to become a P.E. teacher for elementary schoolers. How he was going to deal with all of their whiny bullshit, Rich had absolutely no idea.

But still. Everything was so steady, so perfect that something was bound to fall apart, right? It was how Rich’s life had worked pre-squip, so it was bound to finally happen now that that piece of technological bullshit was shut off. Sure, he was happy, and he had Jake and all of his friends, but how long was that going to last? Rich shook his head, trying to dislodge the terrible thoughts that clouded his brain, and stepped out of the bathroom, ready to graduate.

He saw Jake standing across from him in the living room. Somehow, every time he saw him, his breath was still completely taken away. That… probably wasn’t normal, and yet Rich could care less. He smiled, knowing that this was the most important person to ever be in his life, and nothing could take them apart anymore. No fire, or terror, or squip could separate them, and it was the perfect way to be. And the best part of it all was knowing that he wasn’t the only one who felt that way- Jake loved him back, and it was all he could ever dream for. Hell, it was what he’d wanted for years, ever since his awkward days as an unpopular freshman.

Seeing that they should leave soon if they wanted to be on time for their own graduation, Jake outstretched his arm towards Rich, offering his hand to the other boy, and it was taken without a second thought. Besides, they’d better get going if they didn’t want to be late for the end of the worst- and yet, somehow, the best- years of their lives.