Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Acxa had been staring at him again. It seemed to be a habit of hers, and originally Keith just thought it was her way of analysing him, which he could understand from someone who was once their enemy. But it had been months since they’d reclaimed the Earth and she was still staring. There was no hostility in her stare, which lead Keith to believe that Ezor and Zethrid had mentioned about her crush on him to be true. He could admit, he was flattered by it, but he was even more uncomfortable, as he knew he could never return those feelings.

“What are you thinking about?” Keith turned around, knife in his hand ready to defend himself from whoever startled him, only to find the subject of his thoughts standing calmly behind him.

“Acxa,” Keith sighed in relief, putting away his blade “you scared me.”

“I’m sorry, you appeared to be too deep in thought to hear me approach.” she smiled, reminding him of her original question.

“Oh yeah, I was thinking about you actually.” Keith blurted out before realising the implications of his words in regards to her feelings, and attempted to stammer out an excuse
“I-I mean, not in a special kind of way, but, umm, just about you in general, you know?” He could feel his cheeks heating up as she laughed softly.

“Were you, perhaps, thinking of what Ezor and Zethrid said about me liking you romantically?” a knowing smile plastered on her face as Keith looked away in embarrassment, indicating she had guessed correctly. However, soon her face grew sombre. She sat down where Keith was previously, gesturing for Keith to take a seat next to her .

“I... don’t know much about my parents. My Father was a Galra for sure, throwing away my mother, who I Know nothing about, before attempting to throw me in order to forget his mistake.” Acxa paused a moment, to let the information sink in, or perhaps just to collect herself, Keith wasn’t sure. “However, Krolia, your mother, saved me. I was around 8 years old when I last saw her, before being discovered and banished, but she practically raised me before that. This was after her return from Earth, so she spoke of you often, you and your father. She didn’t recognise when we met again, 15 years later, but she was the closest thing I had to a mother. And, well I’d heard lots about you, like you were a half-Galra, like me. So, when I finally saw you, I felt close to you even though we’d never met.” Acxa paused, swallowing softly before saying the next sentence quietly, “I suppose, you’re the closest thing I’ve had to a brother.” A moment passed, as Keith took in these words, and his new feelings. Relief washed over him when he realised he had misunderstood Acxa’s feelings, but it was quickly followed by several conflicting feelings.

“I,” he finally began “Know nothing about you. At all.” He quickly tried to correct himself when Acxa’s face fell, “But, that doesn’t mean we can’t start now. I’ve been alone for a long time, and well, having someone like a sister would be...nice. I’m not promising I can feel the same way immediately, but with a bit of effort, I think we could be, well, family.” At first, Keith couldn’t tell if Acxa had heard him, as she remained unmoving. Suddenly he felt her arms around him.

“I’d be delighted to get to know you, Keith” she whispered , and Keith could tell how happy she was .S he pulled back laughing softly “Besides, I think I can already tell who’d you have wanted to confess to you” Keith’s face grew warm -- surely, she couldn’t know, he’d been so careful!

“I’m... going for a walk!” He shouted as he sped away, trying to hide his blush as Acxa’s teasing laugh echoed behind him.

Lance tried not to stare at Allura, while teaching her about cars, (‘human mobility vehicles’ she called them) yet he could not resist stealing a few peaks, only to find her doing the same. He should’ve been happy. He’d liked Allura for almost as long as he's known her. He liked her independence, her intelligence, her bravery, everything she did just made his feelings for her grow. But, now that she was beginning to show the same interest in him, instead of the warm happiness he expected to feel, something just felt...wrong.

“Lance?” Lance turned as Allura called him out of his thoughts - apparently she had asked him a question about the tires

“Ah, sorry Princess, I was lost in thought” He apologetically tried to explain “What was your question? What material are the tires was it?” Allura frowned with a blush, taking his hand and tugging at him.

“I’ve been asking you questions all day, maybe it’s time we go for a rest somewhere quieter?” She suggested, pulling Lance quicker once he’d assented. It wasn’t long before they’d reached a small river covered by the massive foliage of the trees. After sitting peacefully for several minutes however, the awkwardness started to settle in for Lance, but as he turned t o make conversation with Allura, he forgot what he was going to say, as she was staring into the river with a sad look on her face, a look he’d since once before...before...when Lotor....

“Princess!” Lance cried out, before his own thoughts became depressing , before Allura’s expression revealed everything he was afraid of. Allura started before turning to him, blinking rapidly as if to clear her thoughts “How did you find this place?” ‘Dammit, that was such a random question, she’ll think I’m even more of an idiot’ Lance’s thoughts were immediately stopped by Allura’s reply.

“Well, I was looking for a quiet place to think, and as I was wondering I found this Quaint place, so it became a habit whenever I needed to think about L...umm...the situation, to wander here.” Lance struggled to come up with a reply, something that would change the subject, something to stop Allura’s heart-wrenching expression.

“To think about Lotor?” No not that. At Allura’s shocked expression, Lance quickly tried to amend the situation, “Sorry, I mean... I didn’t mean to say...” Dammit, dammit, he was such a klutz “I just, really like you a lot so,” GOD DAMMIT, STOP TALKING, NOW. Lance’s voice faded at the look on Allura’s blushed yet shocked face. Well, at least she wasn’t sad anymore.

“umm...thank you...Lance, I really like you too.” Allura admitted, looking away. Lance felt his heart beat out of his chest at the admission, and almost naturally, the two closed their eyes and began to bring their faces together. Until Lance froze, the way allura looked at Lotor ran through his mind as he drew back.

“Lance?” Allura’s confusion was clear in her voice as Lance sat back in thought “Is something wrong?” A moment passed before Lance found the words he was looking for, to express the feeling he’d felt since Allura first started noticing him

“Do you like me?” Lance eventually spoke, his voice soft. Seeing Allura about to confirm that she did he quickly cut her off, speaking louder “Do you really like me?” Everything that Lance had kept to himself was spilling out, “I saw you with Lotor, I know how happy you were, how he was the only to truly move you like that, how hurt you were when he betrayed us. I know you liked him because it’s the same way I look at you. But somehow, when you look at me, it doesn’t look like that, it looks like you’re trying to find refuge after being hurt. You can’t even mention Lotor’s name in front of me, and you think I’d believe you’ve already moved on?” There was silence as Lance collected himself. “I like you. A lot. I like how smart you are like thinking of plans, how strong you as you keep on going on after everyone you loved is gone, your bravery, independence, kindness, I can list all the reasons I fell for you for hours. But, what do you like about me?” Allura hesitated a moment as a look of guilty expression came over her face.

“you’re... a great, Paladin.” She stated before sighing “Lance look...”

“I get it Allura,” Lance cut her off before she hurt him and his self-esteem further. “I know what it’s like to like someone, really like them, trust me. But I can’t help you overcome it. You need someone who’s , kind, smart, someone who’s dedicated to a similar goal and can protect you while also caring about the things you care about, someone who stands next to you as an equal, and that just isn’t me.” Another moment of silence passed between them before Allura slowly started to rise.

“You’re right. I’m so sorry Lance but you’re right. But I’m not right for you either. You need someone who’s...understanding, who can listen to you and understand how you feel under your jokes, someone who’s brave, and who counterbalances your friendly nature, to keep you down to Earth.” Allura smiled to herself sadly, “And doesn’t that sound like someone we know.” Leaving Lance sitting, confused near the river, she walked back to the garrison.

And it was here, where Lance was contemplating what Allura meant, where Keith, who had been clearing his head while wandering around, found himself. Finally, the two locked eyes.

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As the two stared each other down cautiously, Keith felt an immense inner panic. One the one hand, he was happy to see the one person he was most comfortable with, yet on the other he was unsure of what to say as his conversation with Acxa running through his mind. After several minutes of awkward staring, Lance finally sighed gently and patted the ground next to him, gesturing for Keith to come and sit down.

“So are you going to sit down or what?” keith blinked slowly before, fighting back a dopey smile, he took a sit next to Lance. A depressed Lance he could now tell. Not wanting to bring it up when Lance wasnt ready, they sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Lance spoke up again.

“Allura was just here.” Keith felt his heart sink as he realised the probable root for Lance’s blue mood. Keith had always been aware of Lance, and at some point that awareness had turned into fondness and soon something...more. So seeing his face as he gazed at Allura, how his face lit up as she passed, hurt him more than he cared to admit. He had thought for a while that he couldn’t feel worse than that, until Lotor came along. Seeing Allura with someone else was supposed to cheer him up, yet seeing Lance’s heart broken face had been so much worse, especially since he knew the expression was reflected on his own. But he hadn’t missed the recent exchanges and flushed cheeks between the two, and although his heart ached, his desire to see Lance’s adorable heart-wrenching smile again far outweighed it. Keith hadn’t even realised they’d been caught in another long silence until Lance spoke up once more.

“I broke up with her.” Keith blinked dumbly several times in shock at this. “well I guess we were never really dating, but something’s felt weird recently, but I know she wasn’t really over Lotor so I told her she shouldn’t use me as a rebound and she...”

“WHAT?!” Lance’s ramblings were finally cut short at Keith’s shout, as he finally caught up. “But you like her, like REALLY like her.” Lance smiled sadly as he avoided Keith’s eyes.

“Yeah. I do.” A few beats later Lance finally muttered. “She couldn’t even couldn’teven say one good thing about me.” Keith’s anger reached insurpasable heights at that.

“Well she doesn’t know you well enough-”

“NO Keith.” Lance’s sudden shout quickly silenced Keith “Don’t fake compliment me just to make me feel better. I know you don’t think I’m good enough to be a Paladin because I’m not. I mean the only reason you tried too vote me out of the gameshow at all was because you don’t want to be near me! I’m not smart like Pidge, kind like Hunk or understanding like Shiro, the only reason I’m a paladin is because we needed an extra one. I-I’m, not good enough.” Lance’s voice grew softer as he spoke until the last sentance came out as a whisper, in contrast Keith’s guilt grew. He’d been so focused on hiding his feelings for Lance (and embarrasement of Lance’s own feelings during the gameshow) he had neglacted the damage it had been for Lance.

“Lance, Listen. LISTEN” Keith insisted before Lance could interrupt him again. “I’m sorry. I never stopped to consider how you felt, but i promise I never thought you to be annoying, not even once. I just thought you already knew how amazing you are. I mean you’re right, you may not be the smartest, or kindest, or most understanding, but you are smart, kind and understanding. You’re also amazingly optimistic and always manage to cheer me up. You can be adorably naive (in the best way) and surprisingly perceptive. You’re not afraid to speak your mind and give all your friends and family an universal amount of love and support, and if it weren’t for you, none of us would be paladins or where we are today. I truly voted for you not to spend less time with you, but because I believe in you. If anyone can bring in people and unite a universe of diverse people and beliefs, it’s you. Understood?” Keith caught his breath as he finally looked at Lance to find him at a loss for words. Keith continued to watch in fascination as cute blush gradually spread across Lance’s face up to his ears.

“I-um-that...yeah.” Lance’s mind was racing as he took Keith’s speech in. He hadn’thought for a moment that Keith actually saw him like that, he just wanted to ranand if he were honest, he was the most comfortable around Keith for some reason“Thank you.” He managed to whisper, refusing to look Keith in the eye. “I didn’t realise that you – I thought you always hated me.”

“Yeah, my bad, I just didn’t want you to know I like you.” Keith took a moment to his confession. “I-I mean, you’re a great person, and I really like you as a frie...” He couldn’t finish the sentance. Lance looked at Keith in confusion, worried at his silence.

“Keith? Are you..”

“I don’t. Like you as a friend that is.” Keith took a breath before making up his mind. “I Like you, like, romatically.” Keith stole a glance at Lance to find him with his mouth wide open and frozen in shock at this revaltion. “I mean, I didn’t always, but you were so cheerful and kind and amazing, and just, how could I not?” But I tried to hid it and didn’t realise how much you were hurt until just now. So, you’re amazing Lance. I may not say it often, but don’t think you’re anything less than amazing.” Another few moments passed before Lance could strangle out any words.

“I-but-I thought- Acxa-me?” Keith smiled at Lance’s disjointed sentances, feeling than he’d expected.

“Yeah, I accepted Acxa’s feelings...of wanting to be a family.” Keith almost felt bad for teasing Lance like that, but he coudln’t resist, especially since his confession felt like a weight off his shoulders.

Lance had no idea what was happening anymore. Sure he’d expected Allura to dump him, but for Keith then to confess him? He had not seen that coming, after Keith just called him perceptive... But believe it or not he feel bad about himself for that one lack of perception. After all, how could he ignore the heartfelt Keith had told him, it really had made him feel elated. Strangely, it was similar to how Keith’s confession had felt... But what if he was just hurt over Allura? He had barely any time to consider properly liking Keith, so he couldn’t decide immediately.

“I’ve always respected you. Yeah I said you were a rival, but I just wanted to be because you were, well, breathtaking. But I don’t know how I feel about you beyond that, I was kinda narrow minded in getting close to you first. So, Im not saying no, but maybe. Give me some time to consider it, properly consider it, and I’ll tell you when I my feelings finally sort themselves out.” A few minutes passed as Lance played with his sleeve, unsure of where to look or Keith’s reaction, before Keith suddenly stood up and slowly started walking away. Worried, Lance tried to call out to him, to make sure he hadn’t meant to hurt him before Keith paused.

“Thank you. I really didn’t think you’d even consider it. Thank you.” Smiling at Lance once before once again walking away. Lance was frozen. That was the happiest smile he had ever seen from Keith, and perhaps the most beautiful ever. If sunshine and rainbows could havbe a form, it would’ve been that smile. For a second, Allura’s parting words ran through his mind, “sounds like someone we know.” No. It couldn’t be, she couldn’t possibly have seen this coming. That however didn’t stop the blush from growing on Lance’s already flushed face.

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As Keith and Lance were spilling their feelings, Acxa was walking through the Garrison, content with her conversation with Keith. She could tell from a glance that he’d had feelings for the blue paladin, but she doubted he’d ever act on those feelings. It was then that she encountered a familiar face, Veronica she believed her name was, sister to the blue paladin. How fitting, Acxa thought as she made her way over to her.

“Veronica, yes?” Veronica’s eyes filled with curiosity and intrigue as she turned to face who had called out to her.

“And you’re the girl who keeps staring at Keith right?” Acxa smiled softly at her identifier.

“Acxa. Your brother, he is…together…with Princess Allura yes?” Acxa may not know much about sibling relationships, but she knew she wanted him to be happy, and if the blue paladin was what achieved that, then so be it. Veronica hummed contemplatively at the question.

“Well, I know he likes her. A lot. And she does like him, but I’m not convinced it’s the same way.” Veronica frowned after some thought “why do you ask?” after a few minutes of silence she confidently guessed “Is it Keith?” Acxa’s surprised expression gave Veronica her answer. “He’s the only one you really associate with, so I assumed it was to do with him.” Acxa tilted her head thoughtfully as she considered telling Veronica her plans. A while passed before she made up her mind and began to haltingly speak

“Keith is…happier, when Lance is with him.” She felt a surge of guilt at exposing Keith, but consoled herself that at least he’d be happy if this worked out. Opposite her, veronica’s eyes widened as she processed this new information, but besides that didn’t appear incredibly shocked. The little surprise she did feel was soon replaced by intrigue as she considered the two together, how Lance acted around Keith, how Keith could maybe make him happy. Lance had always talked about Keith she had wondered before if there was more to his feelings toward him than he let on, and they would make an adorable couple…

“So, what’s the plan?” She eventually spoke up after making up her mind.

“You want to help?” Acxa didn’t bother veiling her surprise “I’d think you’d be for him and Allura getting together.”

“Just because Lance likes Allura doesn’t mean I think they’re right for each other. Keith may not be open affectionate, but he’s always softer around Lance then he lets on, and the only one who can make him feel better when he’s down.”

“He thinks no one notices him trying to stand as close to Lance as possible all the time.” Acxa laughed softly as Veronica snorted.

“Brothers sure are a lot of work huh?” Veronica smiled softly as Acxa blushed and grinned happily at the acknowledgement of her and Keith’s familial relationship.

“Brothers…” Acxa collected herself as she remembered the cause of the conversation “so about the plan, I’m not really sure how Lance feels about…” She was quickly cut off as a flustered Lance burst out from the foliage nearby. A beat passed as a dazed Lance noticed the presence of the two girls as they stood close to each other whispering to each other conspiringly. Likewise, the two took in his practically glowing red face.

“I…We…” Lance stumbled over several words as he tried to explain something before halting speech altogether and gesturing wildly to the forest and saying just one word “Keith.” Before stumbling away. Acxa felt the grin form on her face as she turned to face Veronica to see her wearing a scheming smile that no doubt matched her own. Maybe Keith would act on his feelings after all.

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After that awkward encounter with Acxa and Veronica, Lance went straight back to his room. A lot had happened over the course of a few hours that he needed to reflect on and he suspected that he’d take hours before getting to sleep. However he was proved wrong as he was asleep in seconds, his exhaustion winning over his strange racing heartbeat. 5 days had passed and he still had no idea how to process, never mind answer, Keith’s confession. Keith, the leader of Voltron, who was smart, brave, sincere, caring and a great leader. Keith, who had proven time and time again an amazing leader, an amazing paladin and a loyal friend. Keith, who had soft floppy hair and actually quite an adorable smile... Whoa. Where did that come from? Brought back to reality with a shake of his head, Lance frowned down at the kettle he was apparently using to make tea and sighed.
“Lance?” a concerned voice called behind him, almost making him drop the mug he’d picked up. “Careful!” a mechanical hand caught the cup and handed it back to Lance.
“Shiro!” Lance instinctively stood up straighter in front of his idol. “What’s up?” Shiro smiled softly at him before leaning against the counter.
“I didn’t know you liked tea Shiro pointed out, clearly making small talk. At Lance’s lack of response he guessed “Don’t tell me you were zoning out again. Lance how many times has this happened recently? You’re not paying attention, running into things, unaware of your surroundings. I’m worried about you.” Lance couldn’t help but feel happy that Shiro cared enough to be concerned, yet was soon overcome by guilt, but telling him the reason wasn’t that easy. He bit his lip in thought.
“You... had a fiancé right? Adam?” He had to stop blurting out whatever came into his head. Shiro’s face clouded at the name before nodding slowly. “Umm, can you tell me about him? What was he like?” Blinking in surprise, Shiro smiled gently before he began.
“He was overprotective. Incredibly. He worried about me and we argued about it all the time. But I knew the reason was because he was caring, and loving, and kind. He was brave, braver than me and stronger than I can explain. A quiet second asked before Lance tentatively prompted him,
“But, how did you know? That you wanted to be with him?” a thoughtful look crossed Shiro’s face.
“Honestly I’m not sure what brought it on. He was making coffee while talking to me. He used to mix hot sauce in the coffee and I would tell him that’s disgusting. He was trying to convince me it was a good way to wake up and tasted great. The he laughed and I looked at him and just thought, ‘Holy crap I’m in love.’ No dramatic or inspiring moment, just a moment in our life together.” Lance took this in for a moment in silence before asking one last question.
“Why aren’t you asking me why am I’m asking about this?”
“Because you might not want to tell me.” Shiro responded immediately. “You’re obviously thinking hard about something Lance, but I trust you’ll find an answer, and when you do, maybe then we talk about why.” Shiro was being completely honest, but it was also true that he’d been around Keith long enough now to have an inkling of Lance’s predicament. Despite their conversation, Lance didn’t know if his feelings were more or less ambiguous than before.

Talking to Shiro had definitely made him feel better, just not more certain. It was for this reason he found himself, fist raised, about to knock on Veronica’s door. Maybe someone from his family could help with this weird feeling. However, before he could knock the door slid open and slammed shut after Lance was dragged inside. After tripping inside, Lance looked up to find Veronica staring at him from his place on the floor.
“Lance you’ve been standing outside my door for 10 minutes now. Do you want something or not?” Lance flushed at the realisation of how long he’d been standing outside the door, but cleared his throat as he attempted to explain the problem before being interrupted. “Is this about you and Keith?” Lance stared at his sister in shock. She’d always been amazing at reading people but he didn’t think he was that easy to read.
“How did you – I mean you’re wro – well he kind of...” His stammers faded out as his sister took a seat next to him on the floor.
“He confessed to you right? It was about time honestly. And yes, you really ARE that easy to read.” She glanced at him before again accurately guessing “you don’t know how to feel about it yet do you?” Lance sighed heavily and slumped forward before responding.
“I’ve always admired Keith. He’s a great person, but I didn’t even consider the possibility of a romantic relationship. Not to mention Allura just rejected me a few days ago. I didn’t even think I was into guys, does that make me bisexual?” Lance took a breath as he felt himself starting to rant. “You know, somehow, when he told me he liked me I was happy. Like really Do-a-dance-in-the-rain happy. The thought of rejecting him just doesn’t sound right to me. Do I like him? Or am I just using him as a rebound for Allura?” As Lance lapsed into silence once more Veronica smiled to herself happily. If Lance’s only inhibition in dating Keith was that he was afraid that he was unsure about his feelings, there was hope for him yet.
“Lance, listen. I get that you liked Allura and her rejection really did hurt, but it was clear to not only everyone else but to herself that she didn’t like you that way from the start. She treated you as a Paladin and showed no romantic interest in you until she needed comfort from getting heartbroken. But these feelings for Keith that you’re so confused about, how long have you had them really? How long has he been the first person you turn to when feeling down? How long have you wanted to be near him? How long have you started thinking about him every day?”
“Hey how did you know I – “Lance cut himself off before he fell into the trap of admitting something embarrassing Veronica’s patronising look however showed that she wasn’t fooled.
“My point is Lance; you didn’t start having these feelings after you found out about Keith’s, you just started realising it. You’re feelings are the same as before but you just can’t pass it off as friendship or admiration anymore. Do you still think it’s a rebound?” Lance sat in silence for a long time thinking hard, his face gradually getting a deeper and deeper shade of red. Without warning, Lance shot up, toppling Veronica over in the process. She was about to complain before having to bit back a laugh at Lance’s flushed face.
“I-I-I have to go!” Lance shouted before dashing out. Veronica stared at the door for a while before giggling hysterically, reaching out to the phone to inform their family of the new development.

Lance wasn’t sure where he was going; he just knew his brain was too overloaded with thoughts to think straight. Walking into the garrison kitchen he found the source of his brain overload, Keith, talking to Pidge. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face Keith yet, but he was having difficulty tearing his eyes away from him. He’d almost managed to turn around to leave when Keith threw back his head and laughed at something Pidge had said. Suddenly, all thoughts about Allura, a rebound, sexuality went out the window as one phrase from Shiro stuck in his mind.
“Holy crap, I’m in love.”