Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“How hard it is to become a man again when one has ceased to be a man."
― Alejo Carpentier, The Lost Steps

Chapter 1

What was it that Shiro had said? Routine was what kept him sane.

Lance got up and carved with his bayard a little line in the metal wall. He took a step back and counted, thirty-six lines. Thirty-six days of silence.

After a second of sulking he gathered his determination and making a fist proclaimed loudly “I won’t give up!”.

The echo answered “Give up! Give up!”.

He left the room and walked through the aisle to what he called the garden. It was a storage hall with grass and flowers growing from between the metal grating of the floor. In the middle of the room was a tree. The trunk contorted drawing a wooden zig zag that made it so it was easy to climb. On the top, just over the hole that was once a roof, the tree was covered with thick leafs and blue fruits that were always ripe. The teal of the leafs contrasted the deep purple of the demolished ship from where it had sprouted. This was the room where Lance had woken up thirty-six days ago. It was also the only green place in the orange planet, and the only source of food.

He climbed up and gently grabbed one of the fruits. It had the size of his head and the peel was like a blue mirror that distorted his features. Lance spit on it and cleaned the specs of dust before taking a bite. Still with the fruit on one hand he walked to the edge of the ship and jumped, luckily his jetpack still worked. He proceeded to do a perimeter check, walking slowly in a big circle around the wrecked half cruiser and surveying the horizon. When he finished the round it was almost noon. The planet’s sun was at its biggest, for it didn’t rise nor set but slowly grew to encompass the whole sky and then shrank until it was just a star.

“Man, my skin is really dry” moaned Lance. It had been weeks since he started saying out loud things instead of thinking them, “It will take forever to recover it’s smoothness”.

Tipping his head back he squeezed what was left of the fruit over his face. It was warm and sticky but in Lance’s mind it was also good for exfoliating.

He then spent several hours working out in a training camp that he had built with scraps of the ship. It was an obstacle race where he had to shoot targets while running, climbing or jumping. But he spent most of the time repairing the galra trash dolls he had just shot.

“If only I had more colors to work with” he complained while picking up a purple bucket with an angry face painted that was supposed to be Zarkon’s head. “I would be able to build my team”

“I guess that if I use some of the leafs that have fallen for the hair…” Lance was muttering but stopped when he noticed fake Zarkon’s eyes looking at him. “Don’t you judge me, I would build her first because she would know how to build some kind of antenna to contact the others and get us out”.

Zarkon looked at him blankly.

“I don’t know what makes you think that” Lance crossed his arms and turned around showing his back to the statue. “WHAT?”

“Maybe you are right… we do have some things in common”, he looked at the floor and clenched his fists. “But those are just tiny details!”

There was no change in Zarkon’s angry expression.

“I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN!” shouted Lance activating his bayard into the altean broadsword.

A laser melted Zarkon’s bucket and transformed it’s frown into a face of dread.

“Zarkon, no!” Lance hugged the scrap dummy and turned his head to see where the shot had come from.

There was a Galra robot walking aimlessly and shooting at random places. A smile connected Lance’s ears.

“Aww yeah! Finally a moving target” his bayard turned into the sniper rifle and he took aim. “Razzle dazzle”

He took it out slowly, taking his time and enjoying himself. First the arms, then one leg, the other leg and finally the head. He sat leaning against Zarkon and began shooting at the ship trying to write something in it. The cloud-like sun had already shrank enough for the shadows to take over the landscape. The night sky was an ashy black with the only star being the sun. Mauve clouds appeared and disappeared, like explosions seen through fog, and lighting the orange sand for an instant with a purplish glow. Since he could not longer see what he was writing Lance headed back to the garden having only finished one letter, a huge H.

When he reached the tree he heard a faint white noise, a radio signal.

“Don’t worry ma-ksssst, I won’t let her sleep here all night”

“Hunk?!” he climbed to where he had heard the yellow’s paladin voice come from. When Lance got to the top of the tree he found his helmet hanging from a branch. “Weird, I would’ve sworn that I had searched in here”.

“Ksssst Lance, I know you can hear me buddy” Hunk’s voice was vague. Lance hugged his helmet with tears in his eyes. “We are doing the best we can to kssssst get you out”

“Oh, Hunk. It’s so good to hear you, I was afraid I’d lose my mi…”

“You just have to kssssst hang a little longer”

“Rude!” exclaimed Lance. “I’m really happy to hear you say that but I still have my pride and I don’t like to be inter…”

“So I thought kssssst that it would cheer you up if I told you some of the things that have been happening since you’ve… ksssssst well you know”

“HUNK! CAN YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME?” just as quickly as Lance’s eyebrows frowned they relaxed and a weak smile formed in his face “Yeah, I would like to hear about that”

“Well… Shay and I... we are dating.”

“Well duh, haha, I knew you two were in a ma...”

“We decided, I mean ksssssst we the paladins… we decided that we can’t keep kssssst piloting voltron without you Lance”

“What are you talking about Hunk? The universe needs Voltron!”

“So we are passing the torch, It’s actually kind of funny how easy it was.”

“I don’t find it funny! How are you going to find me without the lions?”

“So now we are all here on kssssst earth training them”

“Wait, what? You’re on earth? I’m lost in this forsaken planet, come and get…”

“We all miss you buddy. KSSSST cope with it in different ways. I’ve been eating a lot lately”

“Well don’t cope! Come and get me out of here!”

“Keith tries to pretend like he doesn’t care but I’ve seen him train, you kssst know, that’s like his way of expressing himself”

“Hunk?”

“Coran doesn’t stop kssssst crying, Allura and Shiro are working really hard reestablishing peace on earth and in the coalition. Shiro is now president of earth’s intergalactic council but he always make time forKSSSSSST... “ The transmission was interrupted by static.

“Hunk! Hunk!... I-I don’t think he can hear me”, Lance inspected his helmet with impatience. It had a small hole in the top which was surrounded with little specks of dried blood “Wait! I- I don’t think he could ever hear me!”

“... and Pidge” The voice of Hunk suddenly reappeared. “Pidge is just…”, his voice turned into a whisper “She’s heartbroken”

“Pidge…”

“I gotta go Lance, we will make turns to talk to you. We all miss you”

Lance was sure now that Hunk couldn’t hear him.

Chapter 2

The next day Lance woke up with a smile. He made the thirty-seventh line in the wall and went up the tree. He put on his helmet while chewing a fruit. There was only silence.

As he walked around the cruiser watching out for Galra robots the shiny cloud expanded through the sky and scorched his nape. Lance took off the helmet feeling a brief wave of freshness as the wind blew into his soaked hair.

“Maybe it’s too damaged” he whispered passing his finger through the bloody hole.

“Kssssst so with Sam, I mean, the president, we were thinking of kssssst you so that ksssst”

Hearing Shiro’s voice Lane didn’t take the time to lyft the helmet to his head, instead diving into the helmet and almost falling.

“So Pidge’s father is now president!” he wondered aloud.

“You can rest easy that he will kssssst you” said confidently the once pilot of the black lion.

“Heck yeah!” exclaimed Lance “Having two Holts searching for me means I’ll be out of this place in no t-”

“I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, I need to go. There’s an important meeting where I’ll have to decide how many escort ships to send to the Facille galaxy but I still don’t even know how far is that galaxy”

“Yeah, sure, I guess the Fácil galaxy is easier to find than me” complained Lance

“Don’t worry, Keith is staying to keep you company”

“Hey” Keith’s voice was as neutral as ever

“I’m even glad to hear your voice mullet” taunted Lance forgetting that they couldn’t hear him.

“So, um, I don’t have anything to say so... I’m also going” there was now a bit of awkwardness in his friend’s voice.

“Wait! I’m really bored, just tell me about some Blade of Marmora mission. Or even about what you had for lunch”

“Tate tranquilo Keith, I got it from here” a self assured voice said.

“Marco!” Lance recognized his brother’s voice.

“How you holding up hermano?”

“No muy bien”

“I think I know how to cheer you up. Yesterday ksssst was the first match of the baseball world cup. Greece against Nicaragua, and let me tell you esos griegos can run for sure. If we have to face against kssssst them va a estar difícil...”

So captivating was Marco’s retelling of the match that Lance walked three rounds without realizing it. Then he started looking for some scrap to replace Zarkon’s head while his other brother Luis talked to him about a new action film that they could see together. Finally he found a rusty tube with a metal plate piercing it.

“It looks more like a Sendak than a Zarkon, but I guess it will have to do” he said painting an angry face in it.

After finishing the Sendak dummy he once again fired upon the ship until it was too dark, writing a big E. Lance used his jetpack to jump on top of the ship and went to grab a fruit.

“kssst traje un libro para que leamos juntos” Lance’s eyes filled with tears.

His mother was a university professor, she taught Latin American literature. When he was at the garryson she had packed some of the books she taught for him to read but he never finished any of them. It wasn’t that he found them boring but that they were all in spanish and he was afraid that the other kids would mock him. So the books had stayed hidden at the bottom of a drawer and even though he eventually grew confident of his heritage he had already forgotten about them.

His mother voice was sweet and deep, she was accustomed to reading to a whole class so her voice came out so loud that for a moment it stunned Lance. He took out the helmet and hanged it from a branch right above the one where he was sitting.

“... En los canteros muertos, levantadas por el esfuerzo de las flores, las tejas juntaron sus fragmentos, alzando un sonoro torbellino de barro, para caer en lluvia sobre la armadura del techo. La casa creció, traída nuevamente a sus proporciones habituales, pudorosa y vestida. La Ceres fue menos gris. Hubo más peces en la fuente. Y el murmullo del agua llamó begonias olvidadas.” read Lance’s mother. “You know which flower is the begonia don’t you? It’s the Cuban holly, like the ones we had until you ran over them with your bike”

Lance let out a chuckle. He didn’t pay much attention to the plot of the story but started to doze off imagining he was back at Varadero beach sleeping on the sand and feeling her mother’s fingers running through his hair.

Chapter 3

Lance woke up at dawn with the sun in his eyes. He tried to stand up forgetting where he had fallen asleep and fell off the tree. Pouting he walked to the room with the marks and added another one. Had a blue fruit for breakfast and made the perimeter check where he found another aimless robot, which he took out without much joy.

“I haven’t heard from Allura or Pidge” he muttered dragging the inactive robot to the training camp that was starting to resemble a museum. “And Keith barely spoke to me.”

Lance couldn’t find anything to keep the inert robot standing so he could practice shooting at it. He decided to search inside the spaceship. Instead of entering through the roof he got in by a hole that one of the lions had blasted on the side of the cruicer during the fight thirty-eight days ago. It leaded to the sewers.

“I told ksssst Allura she shouldn’t worry because you have the fighting spirit of a Hooping Ayore and the resilience of a nest of Larines on winter.” shouted Coran making as much sense as usual.

“Heh, I guess I am pretty resilient” boasted Lance crawling through the ship’s waste system where the only light came from the sparks of exposed wires.

“We know the kssssst situation is dire, and we always knew that something like this could happen” Coran adopted a more serious tone. “What I still don’t know is how we’re going to get you kssst out”

“Don’t these super sophisticated altean helmets have a GPS?” wondered Lance.

“ksssst can I have a minute alone with him?”

“Well, of course” answered politely Coran.

“Look who’s back” moaned Lance rolling his eyes. “It’s Ihavenothingtosaysogoodbye”

“Listen, I don’t know if you can hear me”, said harshly Keith. “I don’t really believe so. But still Shiro urged me to try, to at least say goodbye to you, in case you never come back.”

“That’s dark even for you mullet boy”

“I find myself trying to ksssst remember how we managed to move on when we thought Shiro was dead, the first time.”

Lance tried to remember the moment they found that the black lion was empty after the battle with Zarkon. How did they manage to go on after that?

“You were the first one to reassure me… to give me strength to go on”

“Keith? Buddy? Are you crying?”

“But now I don’t know if I will be able to go on. I guess that with Shiro the lack of details helped me keep some faith” continued Keith. “After all he vanished, but you KSSSST”

“Didn’t I sort of vanish?” wondered Lance.

“I’m leaving… again. Kolivan needs my help and I can’t stay here on earth.”

“You could try searching for me”

“Bye Lance, you were always such a… you were… aghh… such a pain” Keith let out a sad chuckle. “But a great friend”

With that the helmet went silent. Until now Lance had been certain that they knew he was alive and stranded, but Keith’s words planted a doubt in his mind.

“They know I am alive” he asserted. “Why would they constantly talk to me if that wasn’t the case?”

With a sudden realization his arms fell limp to the sides of his body.

“Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?” his voice pierced the heavy silence inside the battle cruiser’s sewer system.

“After life… After life” repeated the echo.

“Wait! What am I doing here!” said Lance realizing he was in the sewers.

He rushed on the direction from where he came, splashing the waste in all directions. When Lance got outside he noticed that the smell still followed him so he took a look at his armor and saw that it was soaked in a yellow grease. Holding his breath he undressed and tried to to climb to the roof but without the jetpack he couldn’t reach it. So he got into the suit and quickly reached the tree where once again he undressed and proceed to shower with juice from the blue fruits. He also used the juice to wash his clothes.

His whole body was sticky but at least it no longer smelled like Galgra waste. He couldn’t remember why he had been in the sewers. Was he losing his mind? Too much time alone can be hard for anyone, but for a super social person like Lance, who needed constant attention, it was harder. Shaking he climbed to the top of the tree and put the helmet on expecting to be calmed by his mother’s voice.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been talking to you”

“Pidge?”

“I need you to know I’ve been always here, it’s just that… I find it hard to talk.”

“It’s nice to hear your voice” whispered Lance.

“I don’t stop running tests ksssst, I even gave up the green lion so I could have more time to ksssst find kssssst you”

Hearing this Lance recovered his confidence, Pidge was the smartest person he knew, if she was looking for him it was just a matter of time before she finds him.

“I’m so tired but I know this is all my fault Lance. I can’t give up on you.” her voice was guilt-ridden.

“I’m fine Pidge” Lance tried to console her.

“I promise you I won’t keep quiet anymore”

“Pidge? ksssst” Lance recognized Matt’s voice. “It’s late, you need to rest. You won’t be able to focus if you don’t rest”

“Wait!” Lance shouted. “Talk to me just a little longer”

“Let me talk to him just a little longer” complained Pidge.

“He will still be here tomorrow and you’ll be able to talk to him without falling asleep every five ticks” though Matt’s words seemed a joke there was an air of command in the way he talked.

“I know, you are right but…” Pidge stopped mid sentence. “Goodnight Lance, I will kssssst find you kssssst”

“Goodnight, Katie” Lance found solace in knowing that even if they were galaxies away it was night at the same time.

Chapter 4

“Lance, no!” screamed Pidge with horror.

They were in the garden, except there was no grass and instead of the tree there was a human sized jar of quintessence. Lance was falling slowly, like when he was five years old and his mother lowered him to his bed after he had fallen asleep watching TV.

“There is something soothing in dying” he thought.

Time in the room had stopped and Lance could see everybody without having to turn his head. Keith was thrusting his sword against a Galra warlord two times his size who was immobilized in the process of deflecting the attack. Hunk was frozen in front of a control board behind the battle looking in horror to Pidge who was sliding between the warlord’s feet going from where Hunk standed to where Lance was falling. Through the reflection in the quintessence jar he could see himself midair and behind him Allura stooping to catch him.

The princess embrace filled him with warmth and coziness, just like when she revived him after the accident at the Omega shield. But this time something was wrong, the warmth started to burn and Lance felt as if he was being pulled down underwater.

“Guys! We have to go!” shouted Hunk, “The ship’s entering the atmosphere, we’re falling!”

Lance watched through the cruiser’s window how the scenery changed from the inmence black of space to red and yellow fire. He heard steps running behind him, were they leaving him there?

The room started shaking and Lance blacked out. He woke up soaked in quintessence and hanging from one of the tree’s branches. From there he could observe the Galra ship laying on the orange sand of the planet, it had been ripped in half and he couldn’t see the other part. Lance walked for hours in all directions around the crashing site but found no other landmark so he judged better not to lose sight of the ship or he would risk to get lost in the desert.

He returned to the tree and took a chance with one of the fruits, not knowing if it was poisonous.

“Not bad” he thought to himself “Tastes like mango”.

He walked to a room that probably belonged to the warlord since it had a nice bed and lots of command boards that no longer worked. He chose a wall and made a little mark with his bayard.

“Well, now I just have to wait until the guys get me out”

“Get me out… get me out…” echoed the darkness.

Chapter Text

"Grief will probably

redraft your whole

anatomy"

― Carolina Ebeid, Annotations for a Memorial

Chapter 1

“I’m sorry I haven’t been talking to you” whispered Pidge to the floor, her eyes null. “I need you to know I’ve been always here, it’s just that… I find it hard to talk. Especially in front of the others, there’s always someone at your bedside. I didn’t stop running tests, I even gave up the green lion so I could have more time to find a way to bring you back into consciousness. I’m so tired but I know this is all my fault Lance. I can’t give up on you. Please wake up.”

“Pidge?” Matt peeked from behind the door. “It’s late, you need to rest. You won’t be able to focus if you don’t rest.”

“Let me talk to him just a little longer” complained Pidge without taking her eyes from the floor.

“He will still be here tomorrow and you’ll be able to talk to him without falling asleep every five ticks” joked Matt with a faint smile.

“I know, you are right but…” she doubted for a moment and looked up to the hospital bed that was in front of her. “Goodnight Lance, I will find you a cure.”

She extended her hand and slightly touched Lance’s index finger that was peeking from below the sheets.

Pidge turned around and walked to the door where she lingered trying to listen for the smallest sign of movement behind her.

“C’mon, you haven’t slept in at least thirty hours”said Matt holding her by the shoulder and closing the door behind him.

“Actually it’s been forty-six hours.”

“What? How are you even conscious?”

Pidge looked at her clock “Sorry, forty-seven.”

“But it’s only been...” Matt made some calculations in his head. “Thirty-eight hours since the mission, and according to Hunk you were all woken up one hour before.”

“I didn’t know we were going on a mission in the morning so I spent the whole night playing video games.”

“Alone? You need to learn some self control.”

“I DON’T NEED YOUR LECTURES RIGHT NOW!” shouted Pidge without looking at him. Her face had turned cherry red.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to…” Matt’s train of thought drifted away and he adopted a somber look. “Come on, dad got us rooms in the third floor.”

Chapter 2

Pidge heard a knock on her door and opened her eyes. She had slept over the blankets and was still wearing her paladin armor.

“Pidge!” yelled Matt from the other side of the door.

“I’m up!”

Her brother opened the door and step inside the small room.

“I brought you some clean clothes, but take a bath before changing into them ‘cause you reek” he said placing the clothes over a chair.

“I don’t have time to change!”

“Yes you do, and you also have time to bath” assured her Matt. “Dad is calling a meeting in two hours to brief everyone about Lance’s condition. And in order for you to assist we need to be able of standing next to you without barfing. And Lance’s family is with him now, so he won’t be alone until the meeting” saying this Matt exited the room with triumphant air.

Pidge stood up and looked at the mirror inside the closet. Her face was pale except beneath her eyes were it was a dark shade of purple. The chestnut color of her hair was now an ashy brown, sticked into lumps and full of knots. The armor had little blood stains on the chest and the fabric on the joints had whitish haloes from her sweat. Without averting her gaze she took off her clothes and gasped. There was bruise that encompassed almost all her left ribs expanding a little over her back.

The pressure of the shower was too much for the bruise so instead she filled the bathtub with warm water and carefully slipped inside. Pidge let herself slide underwater and opened her eyes, watching the tiny bubbles escape from her hair to the surface.

She mentally reviewed the chain of events. The scare when Keith knocked on her door to brief her on the mission, a last minute mission. Some Galra warlord named Vrok had just used the Komar to extract a planet’s quintessence, the first time it had been done without Haggar or her druids. The mission was simple, Pidge and Hunk were to infiltrate the main cruise escorted by Keith to figure out how Vrok did it, while Lance and Allura distracted the fleet with their lions.

Pidge applied an excessive amount of soap to her hair. She blushed remembering how Lance asked to trade places with Keith and how her heart beated when everybody looked at her and Lance suspiciously.

“What! I just want to put my amazing stealth abilities to use“ had said Lance, convincing no one.

Once Pidge finished scrubbing her hair she submerged again trying to remember the feeling of Lance’s warmth when he would lean over her to check her lion’s controls. How his eyes widened with wonder whenever she showed him some new tech. Or how adorable she found his face to be when he pouted.

“I can wait in the storing room until we arrive” taunted Hunk when the three of them where on the green lion. “You know, so you guys can be alone .”

“No time for your jokes Hunk!” shouted Pidge trying not to let him see that she was blushing. “We’re here.”

In the bathtub, looking back, Katie would have given anything to have turned the lion around. A sudden flash of an open wound crossed her mind. How had thing gone so wrong so quickly? Somehow Vrok had detected the green lion in spite of the cloaking and allowed them to board the ship in order to capture them.

Pidge gazed at the water that had turned a light greyish. Looking at her reflection made her remember the journey back when she was holding Lance, having his head resting on her lap. They had decided not to take his helmet off so she saw herself reflected in the visor.

“You may be the smartest on the team but you are also the most useless” she whispered to her reflection.

Wasn’t Hunk the one who found a way to alert Keith and Allura that they had been captured? And wasn’t Allura who brought Lance back to life? And Keith who carried him to the lion? All she had accomplished was getting Lance killed.

Again the memory of the open wound in Lance’s head appeared. Pidge grabbed the edges of the bathtub and closed her eyes trying to suppress it. She got up and gently dried with a towel. She had to get dressed slowly because even the smallest effort made her bruise burn with enough intensity to keep her from breathing normally.

Pidge left her room and walked to the second floor, where the meeting was taking place. Waiting there were Allura, Shiro, Hunk with Shay, Coran, Matt, Marco, Luis and Lance’s mother.

“I have some news” said Sam Holt entering the room and closing the door behind him. “We’ve finally been able to pinpoint the location of the virus.”

“Does this mean that you can remove it?” asked Marco.

“I’m sorry to say that we still don’t know” as Sam answered he lowered his head, “The virus is so entrenched in the brain that I’m afraid removing it could mean erasing Lance’s memories or even his whole personality.”

“The virus was made using a mix of galran technology with Altean alchemy” intervened Allura. “Taking it out will take our combined efforts, with earth’s new fund technological advancements and the knowledge I obtained in Oriande we should...”

“That won’t be enough” interrupted Sam. “See Allura, when you healed Lance after he was infected… you somehow fused his essence with the virus. Now only Lance can fight it off, it’s part of him.”

“Wha--? No! That can’t be right, I-I didn’t know!” stuttered Allura.

“SO IT’S YOUR FAULT LANCE CAN’T WAKE UP!” cried out Pidge pointing her finger to Allura.

“Pidge! Wait!” Matt tried to grab her hand but she was gone with a loud bang of the door.

Allura looked at Lance’s family “How can I ever make up for this?”

“We know it’s not really your fault princess” answered Lance’s mother, “If it wasn’t for you he wouldn’t even be alive.” her voice broke a little at the end of the sentence.

“Thank you” smiled Allura with tears looming on her eyes.

“I’m sorry Allura, I should've known better that dropping that kind of information without a heads up could cause such a reaction” Sam excused himself.

“It was the truth after all” stated the princess.

“I’ll go find Pidge” said Matt walking to the door.

“No” Allura placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Let me talk to her.”

Chapter 3

Allura walked down the hall of the sixth floor to an open window. She took her head out and looked to the sides. Curled on the roof was Pidge.

“Mind if I join you?” asked Allura.

Pidge didn’t answer, she kept staring to the cloud’s reflections on the top of the cars that were parked in front of the Garrison’s hospital.

Allura climbed out the window and sat next to Pidge.

“How did you find me?”

“I had a hunch. After all, you have a reputation of sitting on rooftops.”

“I suppose I do” said Pidge shrugging

“It was Lance who told me that.”

“I suppose he did.”

“Pidge, I know you blame me...”

“I don’t really blame you Allura.”

“You don’t?”

“I’m sorry for attacking you back there. We all know that if you hadn’t used you magic he would’ve died. I saw the wound, it still….” Pidge doubted for a second “...haunts me.”

“You shouldn't think about that.”

“I try not to. But it just appears, like a flash. And for a moment I can’t breathe” Pidge buried her head between her knees.

“That is serious Pidge” said tenderly Allura. “You need to talk to us about this things, you can’t keep them bubbled up.”

“I shouldn’t have done it, we had agreed to leave the helmet on. And I knew the wound was there!” said Pidge furious with herself. “I don’t know why I did it, I guess... I just wanted to see his face.”

“Lance does have a pretty face” joked Allura hoping to lift Pidge’s spirit with humor.

“If you’re not going to take me seriously...”

“I’m sorry Pidge” prompted Allura. “I understand what you mean. Not seeing his face was… dehumanizing. It was as if...”

“As if it wasn’t him” finished Pidge. “As if he was just another faceless robot.”

“In that way I am glad you took off his helmet. Even if it was a shocking sight.”

“I’m not. I know it was a mistake.”

“It will all be okay” Allura hugged Pidge who snuggled inside the princess’s arms.

“I know I’m not as good at this as Hunk” said Allura stroking Pidge’s hair. “But I’m glad you shared your feelings with me.”

“Can I confess something?” asked Pidge with her head still buried against Allura

“Please.”

“I used to be jealous of you.”

“Really? But you always seem so confident.”

“I am” asserted Pidge coming out of the hug. “I wasn’t jealous of your beauty or your magic, not even of the fact that you are a princess.”

“Were you jealous for Lance?” asked Allura grinning.

“Yeah”, a faint smile appeared on Pidge’s face.

“You do know that he liked you? Not me.”

“I didn’t know until recently. We actually… well… we, I mean I…” Pidge turned red and started sweating.

“YOU KISSED?” shrieked Allura

“SHHHHH. Keep it quiet” urged Pidge flapping her arms.

Allura’s eyes were wide open “How? When? Since when?”

“It was just once, the night before the last mission” Pidge bursted into tears “And I think that maybe what got him in this situation…”

“It’s not your fault Pidge.” said firmly Allura. “I need… Lance needs you to be strong. He will wake up and he will need you by his side.”

“Thank you for listening to me, lately I’ve been feeling trapped in my own head”

“I’m glad that you could open up to me. It’s not good to always be alone inside one’s head”

“You are right!” exclaimed Pidge with a sudden smile. “I think I know how to help Lance!” she stood up so fast that Allura had to grab her by the shirt so she wouldn’t fall.

Pidge dragged Allura back to the second floor and into the room where the meeting had been. Shiro and Sam where still there discussing some intergalactic policies and through the window Pidge could see Lance’s mother reading a book to her son.

“Dad, could I talk to Allura and Shiro alone?” asked Pidge

“Katie, you know you can trust me with anything you’re going through” replied Sam Holt.

“It’s a team Voltron thing” lied Pidge pushing her dad towards the door.

“Should I call Hunk then?”

“No time! Sorry dad!” saying this she closed the door on the face of the recently appointed president of the intergalactic alliance. Then she turned to face Shiro and Allura who were looking at her puzzled.

“Allura, you have to move my consciousness into Lance’s body just like you did with Shiro. Once inside I get rid of the virus and you take me back to my body.”

“You would die Pidge” said mournfully Allura. “Leaving your body empty would kill it… kill you.”

“Besides, we don’t know how the virus operates, you wouldn’t know how to fight it” aserved Shiro.

“It’s the only way! Lance will be taken over by the virus if he doesn’t get some help” pressed Pidge.

“I may have an idea, a risky one, but it could work” said Shiro placing his floating arm under his chin “We’ll have to summon team Voltron to earth.”

Chapter 4

The lions landed two days after being called. From each one came out a pilot that was warmly greeted by the lion’s former paladin. Hunk squeezed the air out of Ryan Kinkade with a hug. Allura ceremoniously received Nadia Rizavi. James Griffin got out of the red lion and went to rescue Kinkade from Hunk. As soon as Ina Leifsdottir saw Pidge she spat out a precise diagnosis of the lion’s systems. And finally from the black lion came out Veronica.

She embraced her family and after awhile walked towards Shiro.

“Sir!” she said saluting him

“At ease” smiled Shiro. “Did Sam brief you about our plan?”

“Yes. I tried to talk to him, but my connection isn't strong enough”

“It’s a shame, I would’ve preferred not to have to ask this of Adam”

“I’m sorry”

Allura and Rizavi had joined Griffin and Kinkade and were all laughing from some joke Hunk was telling. Pidge waited for Leifsdottir to finish her assessment of the lion’s system.

“Good to see you Ina, and good to see that you take care of my girl”

“Hey! Come and join us!” shouted Hunk from the other side of the hangar.

“Isn’t it awkward for you to not be piloting your lions?” asked Rizavi to Hunk and Pidge.

“Well, to be fair it hasn’t even been a week” said Hunk. “Crazy how fast you adjusted.”

“We also had to adjust pretty quickly” intervened Pidge. “Back on planet Arus when we first formed Voltron”

“Ha ha I remember! Man, I was so excited of being a leg” laughed Hunk, and looking at Kinkade added “I imagine you didn’t shout I’m a leg when you formed Voltron, right?”

“Hm.” answered Kinkade

Rizavi raised her hand. “I did!”

Everyone started laughing. At that moment Adam entered the hangar and a silence fell over the place.

“I’m sorry to have to put you through this again” whispered Shiro when Adam was close enough.

“I’m doing this for the kid, Takashi.” said Adam looking harshly at him.

“I know.” answered Shiro without evading his gaze.

“This might take a while” announced Adam to the room as he disappeared into the black lion’s mouth.

Most left the hangar, Veronica went to see Lance with her family and the new paladins went to play Monsters & Mana with Hunk. Pidge, Shiro and Allura waited quietly with their eyes fixed on the Black Lion’s eyes.

Finally Adam came out, he had his head hanging and his fists clenched. He walked right over to Shiro and hugged him, tears flowing from his eyes. “He accepted.”

Chapter Text

“It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment.”

― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Chapter 1

“Well hello there!” said Lance with one of his eyebrows arched. “I gotta say, that’s a great color on you”

The painted face stared at him blankly.

“Playing hard to get, heh?” The floor began to shake and the pile of rocks with which Lance had been flirting fell apart. “What the quiznack?”

He looked up and saw a column of black smoke rise from the other side of the crashed cruiser.

“A meteor? How could I miss it?” he turned his face to the pile of rocks and showed a glowing smile “Well I guess you make me lose sight of my surroundings… wait! no, better. Your surroundings make me lose sight of my… of my… ugh… I lost my train of thought.”

“Lance!”

“Roxy! I knew you could talk!” Lance picked up the stone where he had painted lips and kissed it

“Lance!”

“Wait… What?” Lance turned around and saw a silhouette standing over de Galre ship, right next to the tree. “SHIRO?”

Lance dashed to the ship and reached the roof with one leap of his jetpack but suddenly stopped a few meters from Shiro and aimed at him with his bayard.

“You still have the galra arm and not all your hair is white. Who are you?”

“Heh, it’s good to know you haven’t lost it yet. I was really worried when I saw you french kissing a rock.”

“YOU SAW THAT?! Are you some kind of creep?” yelled Lance loosening his stand, but recovering quickly with a shake of his head “Focus Lance!”

“I am Shiro” said the intruder firmly at first but then doubted “I am Shiro... in a way, I am his clone.”

“That can’t be! Allura placed Shiro’s consciousness in your body after you died”

“Sort of died, just as you.”

“WHAT?”

“Well you’re not dead, more like comatose. You are in a comma Lance.”

“I don’t believe you!”

“Vrok pierced through your helmet and through your skull. He inserted a virus that is taking over your body.”

“You’re trying to trick me! I bet you want my body! Everybody wants my body! I’m just hot like that!” Lance had the gift of going from furious to smug in mere seconds.

“Lance, I need you to focus. You have to keep it together.”

“How can I be sure that I can trust you, you betrayed us once. And I’m not even sure I can trust myself right now.”

“Listen to your helmet.”

Lance picked up his helmet and put it on.

“...llura, is this kssssssssssst going to turn Lance’s hair white? Like it did with Shiro?” asked Hunk.

“I hope not, he wouldn’t like that very much” answered Allura’s voice.

“Won’t a third consciousness damage him even more?”

“Shay is right. Three’s a crowd.” said Hunk.

“This is the only hope we have of fighting the virus!” muttered Pidge. “If this doesn’t work…”

“So… I’m dead” said blankly Lance taking off his helmet.

“No” answered Shiro’s clone with all the patience he could gather. “You are in a comma in the Galaxy’s Garrison Hospital surrounded by your loved ones.”

“My family must be so worried. Mom, Dad, Marco, Luis, Verónica, Rachel, Sylvio, Nadia, Lisa, Grandpa, Grandma...”

“Lance, you have to be strong! Allura, Pidge and the other Shiro sent me to help you fight off the virus.”

“How do I do that?”

“I- I haven’t figured that yet, but a first step is keeping you sane and healthy.”

“Okay then, what should I call you?”

“What’s wrong with Shiro?”

“ Weeeeell… ”

“Okay” sighted the clon. “Call me Gyro then.”

A few seconds later Lance let out a chuckle.

“Ha ha, I get it.”

Chapter 2

The first thing Lance showed Gyro was the room where he counted the days. There were ninety-seven marks in the wall all neatly lined and equal in size.

“This is what kept me sane” explained Lance. “Routine.”

“You sure it kept you sane?” asked Gyro. “You’ve only been in a comma for three days.”

“I made each mark on the morning, I’ve been here for ninety-seven days!” snapped Lance.

“I believe you” Gyro reassured him. “There must be a gap in how you experience time inside your head.”

“We’re inside my head?!”

“Yes Lance” Gyro massaged the bridge of his nose. “I’ve already explained you that.”

“Oh, you’re right!” said Lance calming down.

“Okay, we have to get rid of the virus.”

“How do we do that?”

“I don’t know yet” said Gyro frowning. “But we need to figure some things first.”

“Like what?”

“The number of marks correspond with the number of hours you’ve been in the comma, so we should establish whether days here are an hour long or...”

“Well, days are short here” said Lance. “But they are longer than an hour.”

“Good, that means we have more time to find and fight the virus” Gyro smiled. “Show me your routine.”

They climbed the tree, there Lance grabbed two fruits and offered one to Gyro.

“We don’t actually need to eat, you are being fed through a intravenous serum.” said Gyro rejecting the fruit.

“Come on! Just try it” begged Lance.

Gyro took a small bite and slowly chew, ready to spit it out at the slightest indication of bad taste.

“It’s actually pretty good!” he said taking another bite, bigger this time. “Tastes like apples.”

Lance looked at him confused but said nothing. They finished eating in silence and went to do a perimeter check.

“Gyro, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure” answered Gyro without looking at him because, unlike Lance, he took the task very seriously.

“When you were in the team, was it really you or where you always controlled by Haggar?”

“I was being controlled by Haggar. I mean, I was myself but I couldn’t think clearly and there were decisions I made without knowing why.”

“And when we played Monsters & Maná?”

“That was one hundred percent me” smiled Gyro. “I think that was when my head was clearer.”

“Do you think that if I had realized what was happening we could’ve cured you of Haggar’s influence?”

“No. I was programed, I couldn’t be cured. Besides it was me or your original Shiro, and the choice was an obvious one, especially after how I treated you.”

“I would I’ve chosen you both.” muttered Lance lowering his head.

“Do you remember when we kept playing M&M after the rest left and we finished my quest?”

“Yeah! Haha I got me some sweet cash stealing from those dumb monks!”

“Those were my master’s family!” said between laughs Gyro but then got serious. “I’m really sorry for how I treated everyone, but most of all for how I treated you.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” stated Lance.

“Yes, I have to” affirmed Gyro.

“And I have to show you something!” exclaimed Lance and ran back to the cruiser. “Follow me!”

When Lance stopped running and Gyro was able to catch up with him he found a dozen trash statues looking at him.

“What the…”

“It’s my training camp!” explained Lance. He proceeded to show Gyro each of the statues introducing them politely. “This is Zarkon, Lotor, Haggar, Vrok, Robeast from one to three, that guy we fought once but I can’t remember his name, these are Lotor’s generals, I don’t know who this guy was supposed to be so I just call him Carlitos… Watch your mouth Carlitos!”

Gyro didn’t pay attention to the sculptures, instead he looked at Lance with concern. Lance continued introducing rocks and pieces of metal, sometimes getting into an argument with them and other times flirting.

“Over here are our allies, I’m sure they will be very helpful in our fight against the virus. This one is Hunk, Keith, Coran, Bi Bo Bi, Allura, Sven, Cosmo, Kolivan, Matt, Shiro, you…”

“You included me?” asked Gyro looking a the scrap doll that very lightly resembled him. Although the sculpture was very ugly, with one eye considerably bigger than the other, he was moved by it.

“Yeah, I did my best but I’m not as good at it as Pidge.”

“And where is Pidge’s one?” smirked Gyro.

“I couldn’t build her, I mean, I could but it didn’t look quite right” said Lance scratching the back of his head.

“Quite right? I get it” teased Gyro. “What did you use to draw the faces anyways?”

Lance took a permanent marker from his pocket.

“I found it lying around” he explained.

“Weird” said Gyro examining closely. “It’s an earth brand, if your mind could materialize this to suit your needs…”

“What the heck is that?” asked Lance pointing to a glow in the horizon.

“Maybe we could take a look” said Gyro puting the marker in his pocket. “With caution.”

The glow came from a group of drones. Lance got excited to shoot them but Gyro contained him explaining that the robots might lead them to their base, where the virus could be. They followed the drones from a safe distance leaving marks on the rocks with the marker in order to be able to find the way back. The sun had shrank enough so that desert was covered in the purple light of the exploding night sky. Finally they reached the other half of the cruiser which was buzzing with drones. They got inside the ship through one of the many holes in the wall. It was full of machines building all kinds of Galra robots.

“They have a robot factory here?!” exclaimed Lance.

Gyro covered Lance’s mouth “Shhh, let’s go back to camp where we can talk.”

“Leaving already?” a deep voice asked from behind them.

They turned and saw that a big Galra warlord was standing blocking the exit.

It was Vrok.

Chapter 3

“Hello sir! My name’s Lancy Lance, galactic loverboy” said Lance offering his hand for Vrok to kiss.

The warlord was twice as tall as Lance and three times as wide. He had a robot arm sprouting from his left side of the abdomen and laser gun in his right hand. Vrok’s mouth was wider than his face and his upper lip was in a constant frown, even if the lower one was smiling. He didn’t have the smart looks of Sendak but the intimidating air. It reminded Lance of Laika, the Yupper that he had mistaken for a genius scientist.

“Hahaha, this will be easier than I expected” laughed the Vrok making his mouth big enough to swallow the paladin with one bite.

“Snap out of it Lance!” shouted Gyro charging against the enemy.

With one quick blow from his robot hand Vrok tossed him five meters away and pointed his gun towards Lance.

“Wha-?” Lance dodged blast and rolled to the side of the warlord, cutting the laser gun with the broadsword. “Sweet!”

Vrok caught him by the back of his neck and smashed his face against the ground, repeatedly. Gyro tried to punch Vrok with his Galra arm but the warlord dodged it, releasing Lance in the process.

“We need to get out!” urged Gyro helping Lance up.

They ran through a hall with the warlord’s maniac laugh in their backs.

“I don’t even need to kill you personally Lance, time will deliver you to me” roared Vrok. “The Galra empire will take control of this body.”

Lance had a cut in his forehead and the blood impeded his sight. So Gyro had to hold his hand to guide him through the robot infested cruiser. A blast from a drone hit Gyro on the left shoulder. He opened a hole in the wall and pulled Lance through it into the desert. It was dark so they couldn’t see the marks they had made. They ran until they realized that the robots weren’t chasing them.

“We should spend the night here where we can see their base, and in the morning we’ll be able to look for our way back” said Gyro.

“I’m sorry” Lance sat on the sand leaning against a rock. “I’m useless.”

“You kidding me? Did you see how you cut Vrok’s gun?” asked Gyro. “That was such a cool ninja move.”

“Yeah, I guess it was” smiled Lance. “But I can’t keep focused…”

“That’s why I’m here, to keep you sane.”

Gyro took the first shift keeping guard and only woke Lance up when he couldn’t keep his eyes open. When he woke up it was morning, Lance was still awake and with his eyes fixed on the Galra base murmuring to himself some promise. Given that he had his shoulder hurt Gyro had to hold himself against a rock to be able to stand up. When he looked at where he had placed his hand he saw an arrow drawn with black ink.

As soon as they had arrived back at camp, and after eating some blue fruits, Gyro started training Lance. He gave him a tight routine that included fighting training but also exercises designed to sharpen the mind. After a week of training Lance was able to teleport his bayard from one hand to the other and he could also use it as a cannon similar to Hunk’s and a whip like Allura’s, but despite constantly trying he couldn’t turn it into Pidge’s weapon. His head was also better, although he still had moments of madness they were brief and scattered.

At night they sat on the tree and listened to Lance’s mom read a book. Gyro didn’t understand a word so Lance would translate it to him. Sometime instead of Lance’s mother they would listen to Hunk and Coran telling about a Monsters and Mana campaign that they played with the new paladins and how stiff they were.

One morning while walking to the training camp, covered by the now destroyed statues of foes, Lance stepped on the bucket that had Zarkon’s face drawn on it. His stomach shrank when he picked it up and saw his reflection in the metal with Zarkon’s badly drawn eyes and mouth over it. Lance wondered why it gave him such a strong feeling of anguish. Then he had an urge to add the scar that went from the left eye down to the mouth. He took out the marker and realised something.

“Remember what you said about my mind manifesting this marker?” he asked Gyro.

“Uhm…” nodded Gyro chewing a fruit he had picked up earlier.

“If this is my mind… shouldn’t I be able to make anything I want?”

“I don’t think it works that way” said Gyro after swallowing. “After all, your mind is infected with a virus.”

Lance closed his eyes and a second marker appeared in his hand. Gyro dropped the fruit and his jaw.

“I think it works” boasted Lance with a box full of markers of all colors.

“This gives us a huge advantage”

“Absolutely! With this many colors we’ll be able to draw even more allies and with better quality!”

“Focus Lance” said Gyro with a deadpan expression.

“Sorry!” Lance regained his seriousness. “I have realised something else.”

“What?”

“If this desert is my mind’s illness, I think it’s supposed to be full of plants like in the garden.”

“That makes sense” smiled Gyro. “We need to find a way to heal it.”

“Already on it!”

Grass started sprouting around Lance’s shoes and formed a circle that slowly expanded to cover the whole training camp. Vines crawled over some trash dolls while others got covered with blue flowers. Lance opened his eyes and was filled with joy when he witnessed the green covering everything.

“We’ll attack Vrok tomorrow” stated Gyro. “You’ll green the desert as we cross it and we’ll make sure the robots don’t hurt the plants.”

“Yeah, yeah. Yeah! We won for all time!” chanted Lance danzig.

For Gyro that was not a good sign.

Chapter 4

Lance and Gyro were sitting in the branches of the tree, each one keeping guard over one side of the field. Lance had hung his helmet over their heads and from it came his mother's voice reading a poem.

“ Amar, amar, amar, amar siempre, con todo

el ser y con la tierra y con el cielo,

con lo claro del sol y lo oscuro del lodo:

Amar por toda ciencia y amar por todo anhelo.

Y cuando la montaña de la vida

nos sea dura y larga y alta y llena de abismos,

Amar la inmensidad que es de amor encendida

¡y arder en la fusión de nuestros pechos mismos! ” read Lance’s mother. “Well, that’s all for today, hasta mañana mi tesoro”

“Good night ma” said tenderly Lance.

He was gazing intently to the horizon, in the direction of the Galra base. “What do you think they are building?” Lance asked Gyro.

“Lance, you have to remember that they are not real.”

“Isn’t your shoulder still in pain after the hit you took?”
“Yeah, well, they might be able to hurt us.”

“So, what where they building?”

“My guess is they’re building an army.”said Gyro. “To take over this desert and in turn take over you.”

“Well, we’ve defeated plenty Galra robots in the past” said confidently Lance.

“ksssssssst Lance?”

“Pidge! It’s been a while since I heard your voice!”

“She can’t hear you Lance.”

“I know, I know, but I like to pretend.”

“I just came kssssssst to check ksssssst I mean I don’t know ksssssst it doesn’t seem to be working and kssssssst losing you more and more every day. Alksssssst won’t let me.”

“Pidge! I’m losing you!”

“I just want you to know that I ksssssssssssssssssssssst”

“Katie!”

The signal was lost, the only thing that sounded now was the static from the helmet.

Lance hid his face so that Gyro wouldn’t see him cry.

“So, you have a thing for Pidge?” asked awkwardly Gyro.

“Kinda. We actually… well… we, I mean she…”

“YOU KISSED?” shrieked Gyro.

“It was just once, the night before the last mission.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“You really are a creep!”

“I didn’t mean it in that way!”

“I’m just joking, I know what you mean” laughed Lance. “We had arranged to play Killbot Phantasm 1...”

“That game is older than me.”

“But it is still the greatest ever” “We didn’t know we would have to fight a fleet of Galra the next morning, so we decided to win the game in one night. A incredibly hard thing to do.”

“I imagine, it must be harder than fighting an army of robots”

“By a large margin. So we were doing great, having a blast and eating the cookies that I had brought, peanut butter her favourites. And we got into a conversation so deep that we even had to pause the game. We talked about or families, about our roles in the team and about how we changed since we joined Voltron. During the talk I tried to tell her how I felt, how she makes me feel...” Lance turned red. “I said to her that there was something I needed to tell her but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. Every time I tried to say it I would feel dizzy and the edges of my sight would get blurry, leaving only Pidge in focus. By the third time I thought she would’ve lost her patience but instead she looked at me in such a way that I was sure that that she knew what I wanted to say and that she felt the same way.”

As he told the story Lance gazed at the mauve clouds that filled the night sky. He was no longer embarrassed and Gyro was proud of this fact.

“In that moment I decided that I would kiss her. So I lean forward and just as our lips were about to touch I accidentally placed my hand on the edge of the cookie’s trail throwing the cookies all over the room. I lost my balance and fell forward, passing beside Pidge and landing on my face.”

Gyro laughed so hard that he had to hug against the tree so he wouldn’t fall.

“I was so embarrassed! But she didn’t mock me, instead she seemed a little disappointed and that in turn made me feel guilty. I don’t need to tell you it was incredibly awkward, but that awkwardness weared off as we kept playing the video game. As the mood lightened up we felt comfortable enough to tease each other as usual. With each level we won we would celebrate more and more, to the point that when we were fighting the final boss we were almost hugging. And when we finally beated him we were jumping in excitement and suddenly she kissed me.”

“That is a nice story” said Gyro.

“Want to know the funniest part?” asked Lance. “We had unblocked a secret level in which we died instantly because we weren’t paying attention.”

“I still find it funnier that you missed the kiss and threw all the cookies though” chuckled Gyro. “But you two will have a second chance to win that level”

“Do you really think we can beat the virus?”

“I’m sure. After all, we took down the leviathan demon that had killed my master, D’Jahno”

“We sure did” said Lance, but he was no longer paying attention. As he looked to the ever changing landscape of the sky he was thinking of something else.

He and Pidge had kissed right before Keith knocked on the door to call them for the mission. They didn’t had an opportunity to talk about what had happened. What if Pidge regretted the kiss he wondered, after all he knew she felt guilty for what had happened to him. A sudden feeling of dread came upon Lance, he couldn’t explain why but he was sure he’d doomed the girl he loved.