Chapter Text
Can You Turn Off Your Cellphone - BTS
May
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Kim Seokjin created the group ‘Homeostasis Homies ‘
Kim Seokjin added, Min Yoongi, Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Jeongguk, and Kim Taehyung to Homeostasis Homies
Kim Seokjin set his name to Jinnie
Jinnie set Min Yoongi ’s name to Bakdbiscut
Jinnie set Park Jimin ’s name to Baby mochi
Jinnie set Jung Hoseok ’s name to Sonnyboy
Jinnie set Jeon Jeongguk’s name to Gymrat
Jinnie set Kim Namjoon ’s name to My man
Jinnie set Kim Taehyung ’s name to exPOoSed
Jinnie: hello
Bakdbiscut: I can barely handle a group chat with you and hoseok, why would I want to be in one with your annoying friends
Baby mochi: uhh
Baby mochi: we’ve literally all been friends for 5+ years ??
Bakdbiscut: ehhh i guess youre okay
Baby mochi: ill take what i can get
Sonnyboy: what is this
Jinnie: just sit back and enjoy the tea I’m about to serve
exPOoSed: HYNG U SAID U WOULDNT
Gymrat: Im guessing its about taehyung
Baby mochi: oooh im all here for that
exPOoSed: JIMIN
Baby mochi: Sorry bb ( - 3 -) <3
Bakdbiscut: if its about tae then its probably interesting
Bakdbiscut: Ill stay
exPOoSed: NO LEAVE
exPOoSed: EVERYONE LEavE
Sonnyboy: hmmm
Sonnyboy: no
Baby mochi: come on it cant be that bad, we practically know everything about you anyways
Bakdbiscut: yeah youre not exactly a private person…
exPOoSed: okay AND
Gymrat: Everyone stfu and let jin hyung expose tae already
Baby mochi: wtf we are older than you!
Gymrat: that’s not what your height says you midget
Baby mochi: do you wanna fight
Gymrat: bring it on shortie
Sonnyboy: omfg not this again
Bakdbiscut: jeon jungkook you better watch the way you speak to him you little shit
Gymrat: yes yoongi hyung
Jinnie: okay, do you idiots want to know what i found out or not
exPOoSed: pls don't say anything :((((
exPOoSed: you took it out of context !
Jinnie: Sorry taehyung, but its just too good not to share
Baby mochi: SO HURRY AND SPILL
exPOoSed: all of you are dead to me
Sonnyboy: i just came here for tea and this is what i get
exPOoSed: Hoseok hyung! youre supposed to be on my side :(
Sonnyboy: tae sweetie
Sonnyboy: there are no sides when it comes to tea
exPOoSed: wtf??
Jinnie: YAH pay attention to me!
Gymrat: quit whining and just tell us already jeez
Jinnie: TAE HAS A SUGAR DADDY
Bakdbiscut: EXCUSE ME
Bakdbiscut: my little brother has a WHAT
exPOoSed: NO I DONT
Jinnie: I CAUGHT HIM SENDING SELCAS TO SOMEONE SAVED AS "DADDY"
Bakdbiscut: KIM TAEHYUNG
exPOoSed: ITS A MISUNDERSTANDING
Sonnyboy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMFG TAE
Baby mochi: LMAOO
Baby mochi set exPOoSed 's name to Daddies boy
Daddies boy: JIMIN NO
Baby mochi: JIMIN YES
Sonnyboy: tbh I wasnt expecting that
Daddies boy: WHY DO YOU DO ME DIRTY LIKE THIS
Jinnie: next time dont fucking eat my chicken nuggets and maybe ill consider keeping your secrets
Daddies boy: YOU BOUGHT 40
Jinnie: your point?
Daddies boy: :((
Baby mochi: Ill share my nuggets with you taetae
Daddies Boy: I dont want your nuggets, traitor
Baby mochi: Gasp
Sonnyboy: TaE??? Turning dowN NUggetS???
Bakdbiscut: what has the world come too??
Daddies boy: hyung stop joining in!!
Baby mochi: so tae what do u gotta do for some $$$$
Sonnyboy: I bet its something dirty ;) ;) ;)
Jinnie: Taehyung i cannot stand by and let you sell yourself like this!!!
Daddies boy: you guys aren’t listening to me at all...
Daddie boy: I dont have a sugar daddy
Sonnyboy: smh lies
Baby mochi: Trying to keep all the money to yourself i see
Jinnie: how selfish, i could use the cash
Bakdbiscut: For what??? Namjoon literally buys you whatever you ask for ??
Jinnie: you say that like i ask for a lot
Baby mochi: lmao didnt you ask him for yeezy’s or whatever last tuesday at lunch
Jinnie: no…
Daddies boy: If anyone here should be called daddies boy its jin hyung
Sonnyboy: stop trying to take the attention off yourself, i havent forgotten about u yet
Daddies boy: CAN U LET ME EXPLAIN?!?
Bakdbiscut: stop yelling its hurting my ears
Jinnie: Literally what are you even saying ???
Sonnyboy: I think it’s passed hyungs bedtime
Daddies boy: its 3pm???
Bakdbiscut: late
Baby mochi: WAIT
Baby mochi: where’s @Gym rat ??
Baby mochi: young-un, where u at????
Gymrat: ….
Gymrat: okay.. 1, tae since when do u have a sugar daddy and why
Gymrat: and 2, I’m 19???? Not a young one or whatever the hell u said ???
Baby mochi: 19 is literally the age of a fetus so stfu
Baby mochi: and you keep forgetting the hyung u piece of trash smh
Daddies boy: OHMYLORD
Daddies boy: gukkieee its NOt what it lOoks like I PROMISE
Gymrat: you dont gotta prove yourself to me tae
Gymrat: its not like i care what you do with your body
Daddies boy: oh
Daddies boy: I uh
Daddies boy: haha ill talk to you guys later
Baby mochi: AW BAE :’(
Jinnie: oh damn
Sonnyboy: What?? s going on
Bakdbiscut: wtf Jeon Jeongguk
Gymrat: Wat
Gymrat: Wait
Gymrat: guys?
Gymrat: guys??????
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Private Message with Park Jimin & Kim Taehyung
Jiji: Im sure he didnt mean it like THAT taetae
Taetae: how else would he mean it??
Taetae: it was dumb of me to even assume he would care
Taetae: since ya know, we broke up like 3 months ago
Jiji: tae you guys broke up because he was moving to busan
Jiji: not because you stopped loving each other
Taetae: w ell obviosuly im the onlyy one here st ill in lvoe
Jiji: aw baby im sure thats not true at all
Jiji: maybe you should talk to him?
Jiji: He’s still a part of our friend group so it’s not like he’s going anywhere
Taetae: wats teh poin t
Taetae: i dnt thinjkn he wnats t o get ba c togther mijnnie
Jiji: don't cry :((
Jiji: you never know what he might be thinking taetae
Taetae: but he s so col d to me noww
Jiji: aww baby
Jiji: ill be right over <3
Jiji: and im bringing icecream
Taetae: i luv yu yuor th e best
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Private Message with Jeon Jeongguk & Min Yoongi
Brat: hyung?
Brat: did i say something wrong?
Brat: in the group chat?
Yoongi hyung: for someone who dated taehyung for almost two years
Yoongi hyung: you really don’t know him very well
Brat: ???? what do you mean?
Brat: if it’s about that sugar daddy thing or whatever
Brat: he knows that i dont think differently of him for that
Yoongi hyung: Are you sure he knows that?
Yoongi hyung: because i don’t think he does
Brat: I … he should know
Yoongi hyung: gukk..
Yoongi hyung: you have feelings for him right?
Brat: Of course I do
Brat: I’ve tried to forget about them..
Brat: But I don’t think I ever could
Yoongi hyung: Then why did you say that you didnt care about him
Brat: I never said that
Brat: I said i didnt care what he did with his body
Brat: ohh..
Brat: I guess i could have worded that… better
Yoongi hyung: yes you could have
Brat: but its not like it really matters if i do still care anyways
Brat: we're not together anymore, and we’ve both moved on
Brat: i dont want him to think he has to worry about what i think
Brat: he should be able to live his life the way he wants
Yoongi hyung: God sometimes youre such an idiot
Brat: what ????
Brat: why
[read]
Brat: hyung?
Brat: sigh...
~..~
Homeostasis Homies
My man: Why do I always miss everything :(
Baby Mochi: one day hyung, one day