Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was the evening in early November when Taehyung was just sitting in his shared room, wondering why all of a sudden he was thinking about his family. Specifically his older siblings, he was missing them so much even though he barely remembered them.

He didn’t know if today was one of their birthdays, for all he knew it could be. He figured that his mind knew that day was something significant, even if he didn’t know exactly what the significant event was.

He also had a sudden urge to go down to Daegu. He didn’t know why, it just came on. A sense of homesickness even though he was in his home of nearly 6 years. A longing to visit where he came from, a small amount of childish hope that maybe his family was there, waiting for him. Though he was also at the age where he was starting to believe that might be a little unrealistic, judging from what his parents had told him about his background.

Not wanting Yoongi and Seokjin to know about this matter (he didn’t think they could properly understand), Taehyung made his way into Namjoon’s room. Surely his eldest hyung would have a solution.

“So, what you’re saying is you want to take the bus down to Daegu tomorrow?” Namjoon’s voice was barely a whisper, as he didn’t want any prying ears to overhear this conversation.

“Can we hyung? Please?” Taehyung didn’t seem to know the implications this might bring, how much trouble they would get in.

Namjoon had a soft spot for his dongsaengs. Especially for the youngest ones. It was as if all of the negatives of this idea were pushed to the back of his brain, as his response was, “As long as we have enough money, we can do it.”

And ok, maybe it was also because Namjoon wanted to visit every city in Korea before he was 20 (a goal he had thought of a month prior when he was pondering at 2 am instead of getting the rest his growing body needed.) Taehyung didn’t need to know that though, all he knew was that he was going to go on a little trip with his hyung, at the ages of 13 and 9 (though Taehyung insisted he was close enough to being 10).

…

It was 7AM, the normal time the boys left for school. They had a plan, to take the public bus to school and walk to the intercity bus stop from there. Since they were each coming from different schools, they met at the library, where they walked to the bus stop where all the intercity buses went to.

In the bus station, they changed out of their school uniforms as to blend in with everyone else. No one seemed to question their age, mainly because Namjoon’s height made him look a bit older than he actually was. With their tickets bought, the two hopped onto the bus as they waited for it to begin the nearly three and a half hour drive to Daegu.

Of course, there was anxiety pooling in each of their stomachs. They knew the school would call about their absence, and Namjoon knew he would be receiving a call on the oh so lovely flip phone he had been given a month prior. They knew this wasn’t likely to end well for them, but if they managed to go to the neighborhood Taehyung came from and find someone from his family, it would be all worth it.

The entire drive the two chattered away, looking at the scenery and playing I-Spy games to pass the time. Neither of them had been on a coach bus before, so needless to say this was quite a fun experience for them.

That is, until Namjoon’s phone began to quietly ring and vibrate. He opened it, noticing that it was none other than his appa calling.

“Don’t answer!” Taehyung whisper shouted. Namjoon fidgeted with the phone in his hands, knew he couldn’t just deny the call. He would have to let it ring, and turn it off afterwards as to hopefully avoid any further calls.

It felt like an eternity before the phone stopped ringing, Namjoon smashing that thing shut as he turned it off. Not like there was much to do with it anyways (he was only allowed to have a flip phone until he got into high school, it was the rules Yoongi and Seokjin had set to ensure responsibility and maturity for such expensive devices.)

Namjoon and Taehyung just sat back for the remainder of the ride, anxiously awaiting their arrival in Daegu.

…

When Seokjin and Yoongi had each gotten a call from each of the schools, that Namjoon and Taehyung were absent, their reactions were a mixture of shocked, confused and scared. Yoongi could barely focus in the meeting he had right afterwards, and tried to attempt to hide his worried state from his co-workers around him.

Immediately after the meeting finished, he got on the phone with Seokjin. They were both perplexed, especially with Namjoon of all people missing school. If it was Hoseok, it might have been less surprising, but Namjoon? The kid who had thrown up in the nurse’s office multiple times because he insisted on attending class with the stomach flu? No fucking way.

And the fact that Taehyung was gone too, it was likely they were together. But doing what, typically if Namjoon wanted to do something with one of the maknaes he would take all three of them, even Hoseok too. It was odd that he had decided to ditch school with just Taehyung.

Then, it clicked.

“That boy has such a soft spot for his dongsaengs. He’ll literally do ANYTHING for them. Remember how he took all that money from you at the baseball game a few months ago?”

“How could I forget.” The frustration was obvious in Seokjin’s voice, but his annoyance and also worry were peeking through.

Namjoon was doing something for Taehyung, they just didn’t know what. It was clear the two weren’t at home, as surely they would have answered the message on the home phone first so that the school’s didn’t need to call their parent’s cell phones. It wouldn’t make sense if they were some place like the mall though, Namjoon likely wouldn’t have taken just Taehyung. Whatever this was, it was likely a larger undertaking. The thought of where they could be made both fathers sick to their stomachs.

“I trust that Namjoon didn’t take Taehyung anywhere unsafe. Probably took the kid to a museum or something. They’re somewhere in Seoul.”

“Seokjin, how in god’s name do you sound so calm right now? They’re 13 and 9, they could get fucking kidnapped!” Yoongi heard a few shushes and realized that he was talking a bit too loud for the office setting he was in.

“Why don’t you call Namjoon? If he doesn’t respond, we’ll wait to see if they come back by this evening, and if they don’t we’ll file a police report.” Seokjin’s sense of mild calm was not transferring over to Yoongi, the younger man on the verge of a panic attack.

“Maybe I’ll get the fucking divorce papers while we’re there!” Yoongi hung up, throwing his phone on to the desk. It was an empty threat of course, they weren’t even legally married. Plus, Yoongi loved his husband more than words could ever describe. Right now though, he needed to make his way to the bathroom where he could call his eldest son and ride out his incoming panic attack in relative peace.

…

When Namjoon and Taehyung arrived at the bus station, it was around the noon hour. Considering they both had their school backpacks on them, they were able to eat their packed lunches on a table at the station.

Namjoon could sense the looks their way, he felt people analysing his age and wondering if he was indeed old enough to be going around without some sort of guardian. Taehyung didn’t seem to sense this, he was excited to be in his hometown after not being there since he was adopted. Though if someone was to hear him talk they wouldn’t think he was born in Daegu, as he had acquired a Seoul accent.

They eventually finished their meals, and came upon their next challenge. How to get to the neighborhood where Taehyung lived the first few years of his life.

Utilizing the free WiFi in the bus station, Namjoon took out his iPad (which thankfully he had brought) and looked up how to take the city bus right over to where the neighborhood was. He was definitely getting anxious when he saw posts on websites about how unsafe the area could be, especially at night. But it was daytime, so hopefully nothing bad would happen to him or Taehyung.

It was on the bus ride over there though, that Taehyung started to sense some of his hyung’s uneasiness about what they were doing.

“Are you ok hyung?” Taehyung looked up at Namjoon with worried eyes, and Namjoon instantly felt he needed to take on a fatherly role. He was the oldest of the two after all.

“Yeah yeah, I’m just fine.” By making his answer curt, Namjoon hoped it wouldn’t reveal what he was actually feeling. He turned towards the window as to avert eye contact with the younger boy beside him.

“Do you think dad and appa are worried?”

“Probably.” Namjoon assumed that Taehyung knew the type of stress and extreme anxiety this would bring to a parent, or at least had a semi understanding of it even if he was clouded by excitement.

The rest of the ride was silent between the two of them, until they heard the name of their stop being announced. Both of them stood up, grabbing their things as people squinted in confusion at why the two boys who looked fairly well off were getting off at a stop right by one of the poorest neighborhoods in Daegu.

Taehyung had made it back to his place of birth.

…

Neither Yoongi or Seokjin were riding out this day too well. Once it passed the noon hour, Seokjin increasingly started to get more concerned. Maybe they were not just at some museum, hell maybe they weren’t even in Seoul.

The last thought made him sick, so sick that he actually had to go to the restroom as he figured his breakfast might have come out all over his desk if he didn’t. But they really wouldn’t go to another city in Korea right? Didn’t those bus lines have some sort of age restriction? Not that they would even notice that Namjoon was younger though, on some days he looked close to 16 due to his height.

Where would they go though? Neither Seokjin or Yoongi could figure it out, and as the day went on each of them got more and more nervous about what was to potentially come.

…

The neighborhood definitely had a sketchy vibe. It wasn’t...bad. Just when you’re from a fairly nice neighborhood in Seoul and had the clothes to fit it, you would feel really out of place. And truth be told, Namjoon felt lost. Other than the neighborhood name itself, there was no info about where Taehyung’s exact house was, and he was unlikely to remember. If anything, they were relying on someone recognizing the boy’s face.

The two walked around for a while, taking in the sights. Namjoon felt really grateful for a few reasons. Firstly, that he was living in a nice large home. Second, that he was able to receive a good education. And third, the most important of all, that Taehyung was taken out of this place.

It didn’t look like the children here necessarily went to the nicest of schools, or tried to go to the top colleges up in Seoul. Many likely had to take on jobs to support their families, and the amount of older people and unemployed people just sitting out front of their houses was almost a shock to see. A culture shock within their own country.

And there was one woman in particular who kept looking their way. Especially at Taehyung, she kept trying to analyse his face. It looked familiar, she had seen that face somewhere before. That smile, those soft features that made anyone instantly want to squish his cheeks the moment they saw him.

It was then, that she knew. She pinched herself. It couldn’t possibly be him.

“Taehyung-ah!”

…

Both Yoongi and Seokjin were on their way home early that day. It was around 3 pm when the two of them just couldn’t focus on their work anymore. Yoongi barely made it home without having yet another breakdown. It was like something was telling him that there was a reason why he should be more worried this time, that Namjoon and Taehyung were not somewhere they should be.

Seokjin coddled Yoongi on the couch, taking the smaller man in a warm embrace. The younger constantly kept apologizing for his remark about the divorce papers earlier that day, though Seokjin reassured him that nothing he had said had made him upset in the slightest.

“I can’t take this anymore.” Yoongi kept saying this over and over, in the midst of a breakdown. Seokjin didn’t really know what to say, he was internalizing most of his emotions and was trying to figure out what they were going to tell the other boys when they came home.

It was agonizing. Why would they just ditch school and leave without a trace? Had they done something wrong as parents? And why Namjoon and Taehyung, that pair over any of the others?

When the other boys came home, Seokjin ushered them all down into the basement where they all were to stay for a while. Jimin asked the inevitable question of where Namjoon and Taehyung were, but Seokjin answered with an affirmative “I don’t know, but wherever it is I’m sure it’s somewhere near here.” Maybe if he kept saying that it would eventually come true.

It seemed like an eternity as the hours passed by. No food was made, Seokjin too anxious to even cook a simple meal. It wasn’t until around 6:30 pm when Yoongi’s cell phone began to ring, an unknown number on the screen.

He picked it up, hoping for some good news.

…

Han Jungsook. A woman in her sixties, widowed just a few years prior. Unemployed, unable to do her job as a cleaning lady any longer due to her physical health and sadness from the loss of her husband. She had no children, due to being unable to have any of her own and the inability to adopt because of the expensive cost.

Her life was motivated by little, except for when a few years prior the family a few blocks down gave her a picture. A picture to remember the little boy they had lost, the child who in reality they couldn’t afford. They were moving into farm country, with the hopes of starting a new life after their oldest child was able to get a scholarship to a top school in Daegu. Also, to forget the memory of the young boy who they never knew what happened to.

Jungsook didn’t dare tell them her story about the boy. She knew that he was much better off living wherever he was now. Once you get out of this neighborhood, you don’t dare comeback. She wished the family well as they set off to the next house to give them a picture as well. The following day, they set off, leaving to their new life in the countryside. Jungsook hadn’t heard from them since.

There was always some hope that the boy, Taehyung, would come back. It really was her sole motivation. The feeling was almost the same as she scooped him up that night, saved him from being hit by that car.

And damn, if this was really him walking there, he had done well from his days in the orphanage.

“Taehyung-ah!”

Taehyung turned around, a natural response he had whenever he heard his name. That was him, Jungsook knew. She didn’t even need the picture to confirm, she knew it was the same small boy who’s life she had saved nearly seven years before.

“Ahjumma?” Taehyung looked confused, this couldn’t possibly be his mother. She looked nothing like him.

The woman quickly ran inside to her small house, grabbing the small photo that she had never dared to misplace. Namjoon and Taehyung had walked over there at this point, and after one glance at the photo, Taehyung noticed it had striking resemblance to himself.

Namjoon was in utter disbelief. He knew that it was very, very unlikely that Taehyung was to find someone who actually knew who he was. But this woman clearly had some connection to him, and was not just any stranger you’d find on the street.

“You probably don’t remember me, but I am Han Jungsook. I was the woman who took you to the orphanage when you were only three.” The wheels were clicking in Taehyung’s head, trying to connect this to the story his parents had told him about his birth family. And then it hit him.

“You were the woman who saved me from being hit by a car.”

Jungsook responded with a slow nod, before inviting the two boys in for some tea. She didn’t even bother to ask why they weren’t with their parents.

…

Taehyung had many questions, and Jungsook did her best to answer them all. She explained to him how his family reacted to him being missing, in much more detailed terms that he had ever been told before.

“They really missed you Taehyung. They mourned your loss as if you were actually dead. It was hard for me to watch, because I knew where you were. And they likely knew you were there too.”

“Then why didn’t they come for me?”

Jungsook took a deep breath. “They couldn’t afford to take care of you, child. And they knew that you potentially had the opportunity for a better life if you managed to get out of the orphanage. And even if no one had come for you, I would’ve come back for you.”

“Why didn’t you come for me?” Taehyung’s questions were all filled with curiosity. It was clear that some of this just wasn’t making sense to him, but Jungsook went on anyways.

“I couldn’t afford to adopt you. I had always wanted to adopt a child, since I was never able to have any of my own. But with my living wages it would have been impossible to support you. It was only a last case scenario, the hope was that you would be able to live a better life somewhere else than here.”

Jungsook poured the cups of tea for both boys, along with one for herself. Namjoon’s facial expression was one of shock, for a multitude of reasons. Hearing this story was fascinating in a slightly upsetting way, this woman was really a miracle sent from somewhere up above. Taehyung seemed to be trying to connect parts of the story to what he already knew, though he would likely need someone to explain it to him again later to fully process everything he was hearing.

“I did go back to the orphanage, a few months after you had been adopted as I found out that day. They weren’t allowed to tell me many details though, just that a lovely young couple that already had three other kids had adopted you. That gave me some comfort, you were going to what sounded like a good family, and since there were already three other kids it wouldn’t be such an adjustment for you.”

After Jungsook answered pretty much all of Taehyung’s questions (and Namjoon’s), she began asking them questions about where they were from, what their life was like. Stories about when Taehyung was a toddler. About Namjoon’s background, about Taehyung’s other siblings. There was much to learn.

“We’re actually from Seoul, if you couldn’t tell by the accents.” Namjoon chuckled a bit, in an attempt to hide his slight nervousness and to lighten up the mood.

“Really? Seoul? That’s quite a long ride from here.”

Namjoon nodded, eager to avoid any questions about where their parents were. Even about their parents in general, because that was a whole issue within itself. He did not know how this lady would react if he told her that they have two fathers as parents.

They did eventually end up on the subject though, Taehyung with a large smile saying how he had two dads. Jungsook just responded with a smile in return, Namjoon breathing a sigh of relief because that could’ve gone a very different way.

Taehyung was talking all about his hyungs and Jungkook, but especially about Jimin. It was undeniable that the two shared a strong bond, considering they did many things together. But there was also plenty of talk about how much he loved Namjoon, considering the older was literally risking months of grounding for taking Taehyung down here.

And maybe the reason why Jungsook didn’t ask about where their parents right away is because she was used to seeing kids go around with little to no supervision. It really wasn’t uncommon, kids in this neighborhood were often neglected because of their parents constantly having to work. Taehyung was one of them.

But as long as both Namjoon and Taehyung tried to defer the conversation so the inevitable wouldn’t happen, it was around 6:30 pm when a silence was finally reached. The question had to be asked.

“So boys, where are your parents?”

Namjoon froze, but thankfully Taehyung was able to answer. “They’re up in Seoul.” He said it so nonchalantly that Namjoon became unfrozen. Did Taehyung really not have an understanding of how much trouble they were both gonna be in? This was a situation where they needed to lie, get back to the bus station as to get back home ASAP. They would be in a lot less trouble if they had just being going around Seoul all day, not in another city 3.5 hours away.

It was too late for that now though.

“Are you here with your grandparents or something?” Oh wait that’s right. Yoongi’s parents lived in Daegu, Namjoon could make up some excuse that they were with them and then he and Taehyung could leave to get right back on to the bus. He opened his mouth, intending to start spewing this bullshit before…

“No.” God damnit, Namjoon really felt the urge to punch the table because Taehyung was just making this more and more difficult for him.

“Wow, your dads must have a lot of trust in you two.” They weren’t going to have much trust in them anymore. Namjoon started to wonder again how they were doing, his guilty conscience rising up his throat. How would they react if he called them and told them where he and Taehyung were?

Namjoon gulped. “W-would y-you m-mind l-letting m-m-me u-use y-your p-phone a-a-ahjumma?” If his stuttering was any indication about his nervous he was, anyone in the room could sense something was up.

But Jungsook didn’t ask any further questions. Maybe she understood what situation they were in. “Sure child. It’s in the room next door.”

Namjoon conveyed a message to Taehyung for him to just sit in the kitchen with Jungsook. He was the older one, he would take the responsibility for his actions. And to be honest, at this point he was more worried about if he had given his parents a heart attack than about just how much trouble he was going to be in. He took a seat on the floor, as he took the landline telephone, dialing Yoongi’s number.

“Appa?”

…

That was most definitely Namjoon’s voice, Yoongi was sure of it. He put his phone onto low volume speaker phone so that Seokjin could hear the conversation too.

“Namjoon! Where the hell are you?” That came out a little harsher than he intended it to.

“Well...uhh…”

“And is Taehyung with you?”

“Yes.” That was some relief, at least they now knew that the two were together. But where? And why were they calling from this unknown number and not from Namjoon’s cell phone? Yoongi’s heart was pounding as he continued the conversation.

“But where are you? Somewhere in Seoul?”

Namjoon gulped, he couldn’t believe he was saying this. “We’re in.” And he gulped again. “Daegu.”

Yoongi looked at Seokjin to see if he had heard the same thing. He muted his phone. “Did he just say Daegu?”

“If my ears aren’t deceiving me, then yes.”

Yoongi unmuted his phone. “Daegu? As in the city I, and Taehyung for that matter, were born?”

“Yes.” Namjoon was thankful no one could see him shaking. He was barely managing to hold the phone up to his face his hands and arms were shaking so badly. This was easily one of the most nerve wracking conversations he had ever had before.

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not. Taehyung and I took a bus here this morning.” Yoongi could tell, Namjoon was being fully sincere. Not that he wanted this to be true, it was nearing 7 pm and if they didn’t leave ASAP they wouldn’t make it down there until like, 10:30 pm at the earliest.

“Ok. Uhh,” Yoongi was taking in deep breaths, trying to stabilize himself. “Give me the address of where you are.” Namjoon did, and Yoongi hung up. It was all starting to make sense.

“Seokjin, go take the other boys to a neighbor’s house. I’ll grab our things and we’ll grab some food on the way.” The older man nodded in agreement, doing just as he was told. He was feeling a bit better now that they knew where the two were, and so was Yoongi. Just not as much as he knew Daegu on the back of his hand.

He remembered that this was the neighborhood where Taehyung had lived for the first few years of his life. He also knew how unsafe this neighborhood was, and who even knew who the two were with right now. Namjoon definitely had a good idea of what stranger danger was, so clearly whoever had taken them in must have seemed trustworthy to the pair. And if anything, it was better than them roaming on the streets.

Once the other three boys had been taken to a neighbor’s house, Seokjin and Yoongi set off towards Daegu. This was definitely not how they had expected to end their day.

…

For the rest of the evening, Namjoon was rendered unable to speak very much. He opted to just sit on the couch, mindlessly staring at the news that played on the small television in front of him. He didn’t eat either, politely denying the Daegu-style dumplings Jungsook had made for them.

Taehyung surely did sense that there was definitely something up with his hyung. He had heard Namjoon’s side of the phone conversation, and knew that Yoongi and Seokjin were coming to get them. Though Taehyung himself was sad he was going to have to leave here, he loved Jungsook so much. It was the closest he had ever connected to his family, and even though they weren’t blood related, he considered Jungsook to be closer of a grandmother to him than Yoongi’s or Seokjin’s mothers.

He had helped her cook dinner, and she had given him a few hugs already. The boy could tell how happy she was with him, how she seemed so happy that Taehyung was living a good life up in Seoul. It was some hope in her life that had been so dark after her husband had passed away, and Taehyung’s family had moved away.

Namjoon tried to tell himself that in reality, this trip was a success. Taehyung had found someone that was basically related to him. And maybe Namjoon was a bit jealous, jealous that he didn’t know anyone related to his birth mother. That information about his father was virtually unknown. That at least if Taehyung got grounded, he was getting grounded after having an experience that would impact him for a lifetime.

Namjoon knew he was being selfish, but in this moment he couldn’t help it. All he wanted now was for Seokjin and Yoongi to show up so he could get this all over with.

Once again, he mindlessly stared at the television as the time slowly creeped on by.

…

In all honestly, neither Seokjin or Yoongi were very hungry, so they didn’t eat on the way. Seokjin drove the entire distance, as Yoongi was still very much not in the best state of mind to be driving. The entire way, he talked on and on, many of it being nervous chatter. Some of it though, Seokjin responded to.

“I’m surprised they didn’t get mugged or anything. They must have stood out like sore thumbs with their nice clothes and backpacks.”

“How terrible of a neighborhood is it Yoongi?”

“One I wouldn’t want my kids roaming around.”

This was one of the few silent moments on the ride, the only noise being heard was the whirr of the car as it sped down the highway. The traffic hadn’t been too terrible, so it was likely they were gonna make it down to Daegu by 10 pm.

Once they got into the city proper, it took a little while for Yoongi to navigate to where this house was. Eventually though, they made it there, parking their car on the side of the road. The house was small, likely only a few rooms large. The windows were all covered by curtains, where it looked like the light from a television was peaking through. The front stoop had a small light illuminating it, along with a sliding door and a doorbell right beside it.

Yoongi rang the doorbell, hoping that this whole ordeal was about to come to an end.

…

Namjoon was startled out of his mindless stupor when he heard the doorbell ring. He didn’t dare move though, instead just sitting on the couch like he had been doing in the hours before. There was an urge to hide in the bathroom, but at this point that wasn’t going to do any good. It wasn’t like he was going anywhere else besides home with his parents anyways.

Jungsook came over to the door, grabbing the key to unlock it. Taehyung had opted to stay in the kitchen, where he was drawing on the sketchpad he kept in his backpack.

She opened the door, Namjoon taking a quick glance over to see who indeed it was. And sure enough, it was just who he had expected to be there. He felt them looking at him, their stares not of malice, but of worry.

“You must be Yoongi and Seokjin. I’m Han Jungsook, pleasure meeting you.” She bowed politely, the two men doing the same.

“Thank you, for so many things. I-I don’t even know where to start.” Jungsook saw Yoongi shivering as he spoke, so she gestured for both him and Seokjin to come inside her home. The place was small, only a living room, kitchen and a small bedroom and bathroom in back. It was old too, but that didn’t mean it was bad by any means. It was a safe and cozy space.

Yoongi and Seokjin looked over at Namjoon, very obviously sensing his discomfort. He was fidgeting with his hands, his feet were shaking. It was obvious he wasn’t watching the drama that was on the TV, he was in panic mode. Though both of his parents knew he also likely wanted to be alone at this moment, so they didn’t bother him just yet.

Jungsook offered the two something to drink when they got into the kitchen, where Yoongi jokingly said “vodka shots” (Seokjin nudged him in the arm afterwards.) Instead, they all just drank some soda and heavily caffeinated tea. It was likely they were gonna be there for some time.

Taehyung got up from the kitchen table when he saw his parents come in. It wasn’t that he was avoiding them, he just figured that there was some adult conversation that was going to ensue, so he left. He went out into the living room where he sat on the floor, working on his drawing while he still listened in to the conversation.

Namjoon really didn’t want to have a breakdown in front of Taehyung, so he went into the bathroom, locking the door and hoping that the walls were semi soundproof as he finally let himself cry a bit, letting out the emotions and anxiety that was buried inside of him. Considering no one came to check on him, he figured that either 1.) no one cared, 2.) the door and walls were fairly soundproof, 3.) they knew he wanted to be alone and didn’t bother him or 4.) he was quieter than he thought he was being.

“Just breathe Namjoon, just breathe.” He kept telling himself this over and over, knowing that this wasn’t the end of the world. He had done something so wonderful for Taehyung, if he internalized that good feeling instead of all his anxious and bad ones, he could get through this.

Both Seokjin and Yoongi were nervous as to how much this woman was going to judge them for their parenting skills. Especially because they were a gay couple as well, hopefully she wasn’t overly homophobic either.

Jungsook started by telling her story about Taehyung, all that she knew about him. Though the couple had known some of this already, hearing it again was heart wrenching. Especially the parts that they didn’t know, the part about how Taehyung’s family had missed their son so much that it was likely one of the reasons why they had moved away from this neighborhood. They were unable to take the pain any longer.

Hearing about Jungsook was sad as well, especially to Yoongi as he was a Daegu native himself. The fact that she was able to remain so positive even while living in dismal conditions like this was motivation for anyone who could hear her story. There was a part of Yoongi that felt as if he needed for her to keep a connection with Taehyung, considering that her hope the boy would someday come back was her main motivation for living.

“You have raised him so well. He was so polite, and even helped me cook dinner. He was very polite to his hyung as well, he’s just such a sweet little boy.”

Both Yoongi and Seokjin shed a few tears after hearing that. It was validation, validation that they had made the right choice by adopting Taehyung, by adopting all their kids. Even though they weren’t perfect parents by any means, they tried their best and really, hearing something like this after having one of the most stressful days of their life was quite emotional.

“Thank you,” said Yoongi as he took a napkin to wipe his eyes with. “That means so much to us.”

It was getting later and later, but the three continued to talk. There was so much to speak about, so many stories to tell. Phone numbers were exchanged, with Yoongi especially encouraging Jungsook to call whenever she wanted to. He did not want to do anything to sever the connection she had made with Taehyung.

Yoongi also said that they were likely to be back sometime soon. He had been intending to go have the family visit his parents, since he wasn’t able to see them that often. Considering they still lived in Daegu, whenever the family decided to go back down there again and visit them, they would definitely make a stop over at Jungsook’s house as well.

“I can also pay for you to take the bus up to Seoul whenever you need to as well. You’re welcome to visit anytime you want, you are family to us now.”

Yoongi looked at his phone, and grimaced when he saw it was close to 2 am. It was Friday (well Saturday now), but this was definitely much past the boys’ bedtime. Plus, they both felt bad that the other three boys were at the neighbor’s still.

Taehyung, surprisingly, was still awake. He was watching the TV now, which was just playing some sort of news feed again. Namjoon however, was out cold on the couch. His energy was absolutely drained, when he came out of the bathroom about an hour prior he couldn’t stay awake any longer.

“I must get to bed, so if you could just lock the door before you leave that would be wonderful.” Jungsook gave them the key, before they all said their goodbyes. Taehyung was quite sad to leave, though they all reassured him that he would get to see Jungsook again soon. Taehyung began to gather all his things, while Seokjin and Yoongi began to wake up Namjoon. They saw the redness around his eyes, the dry snot still left around his nose.

“Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi whispered in his son’s ear. “We have to go now.”

Namjoon didn’t really respond at first, as his body still wanted to remain asleep. But he was much too big to be carried, so he needed to be awake enough where he could walk with someone supporting him from the back.

Eventually though, he managed to open his eyes, and saw his fathers’ loving faces right above him. He felt a finger caressing his forehead, a gesture of comfort. He sniffled, trying not to breakdown again right then and there.

“Let’s go home sweetheart.” Yoongi helped his eldest son get up off the couch, as Seokjin grabbed his things. They locked the door as the four left the house, walking down the dimly lit street towards their car.

Yoongi opted to sit in the back between Namjoon and Taehyung, as he wanted to make sure Namjoon was doing ok. While he wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell it to Namjoon, everyone earlier could hear him crying and cursing himself for what he had done, and hearing that worried both parents a ton. While what Namjoon had did was wrong, he had also done something for Taehyung that would benefit the younger for a long time, whether he realized it or not.

Seokjin stopped at a convenience store for a Red Bull (not his favorite but he needed to stay awake), before they all set out onto the road, back to their home in Seoul.

…

The ride was relatively quiet, as Taehyung ended up falling asleep soon after they got onto the highway. Namjoon kept going back and forth between a sleep and awake state, mainly because he was not the most adept to sleeping in cars. Seokjin was awake from the Red Bull, because he was driving, and Yoongi was awake since he was very worried about Namjoon.

“Appa,” Namjoon whispered as he choked back a sob. They were only about 45 minutes outside of Daegu at this point. “I’m sorry.” The way his voice cracked and became really high pitched was arguably a bit embarrassing. Not that Namjoon even cared at this point, it was dark out so no one could see his eyes as tears began to spill out of them. They needed the noise to stay awake anyways.

“It’s ok.”

“No it’s not. I know you’re mad and disappointed in me. Why are you lying to me?” Namjoon sobbed more, not caring if Taehyung woke up. And to be honest, he probably wouldn’t since he had been up for nearly 20 hours that day.

“Namjoon, I’m not lying to you. It’s really ok. Of course you are in a lot of trouble, but the more important thing is is that you and Taehyung are safe. Plus, Taehyung was able to meet the person who helped him get to where he is today. That’s incredible.”

Yoongi’s form of reassurance didn’t seem to do much though. He figured that maybe he should add that he had heard Namjoon earlier. “You’re being very hard on yourself Joon. I wanted to go into the bathroom earlier and sit with you, and so did dad. But we both felt you needed to be alone for a while, as sometimes we need to process things on our own first before we speak with others.”

Everything that Yoongi was saying was true and correct, and was all very valid advice in the moment. Namjoon couldn’t seem to process it though, his mind was swarming with self deprecating thoughts. He was taking deep breaths, doing everything he could to prevent himself from exploding. This was too much for him, why did he always put himself into situations that lead to this. Why?

A few minutes passed and it was all too much. He couldn’t hold himself back as he exploded, nearly screaming in the car as it rolled along the highway.

“I hate myself! I hate how I always put so much pressure on myself! I hate how I always agree to do things for my brothers even when they’re so damn stupid and will get us both in a ton of trouble! I hate how I was just going to have us take the bus back to Seoul today and lie about where we had been! I hate how I can’t be grateful towards Taehyung meeting someone so important to him because I’m selfish and won’t ever have that happen myself! I hate how I couldn’t even greet you when you came into the house because I’m a coward who can’t own up to my actions! I hate how I just let the phone ring earlier and didn’t bother to even pick up! I hate that I didn’t even feel much guilt for causing you so much stress! I hate that I made you drive 3.5 hours down here to pick us up! I just hate myself so much and I’m sorry you have to deal with me each and every day!” Namjoon kicked the area between the two front seats, before trying to settle himself down. His breathing was shaky, he felt lightheaded.

Taehyung, somehow someway, was still resting peacefully. Yoongi just sat with a look of shock on his face, along with Seokjin as he continued to drive on the empty roads. It was very clear that Namjoon had a lot bottled up inside, and it had taken until now for it all to come out. Yoongi wasn’t sure how he should respond, but he wasn’t just going to leave this hanging until they got home.

“Namjoon, where are you now and what are you doing?”

“I’m in our car going back to Seoul and I’m talking to you?” Namjoon seemed confused by Yoongi’s question, though it was just acting as a check to make sure he was not dissociating and was aware of who he was and his surroundings.

“Ok. Can you take some deep breaths for me? In through your nose, out through your mouth. Nice and simple.” Yoongi had learned many of these techniques from being in therapy himself, and was using them to calm himself down as well.

“Do you feel better now?” Namjoon nodded, and it didn’t take long for Namjoon to fall asleep yet again. It was really late anyways, around 4 am. Everyone just needed to rest. They could talk more the next day.

Chapter Text

They arrived home close to 5:30 in the morning, after getting caught in some early traffic outside of Seoul. Seokjin was able to get over and get the other boys, who had been sleeping thankfully. He profusely thanked the neighbors and promised he would bring them over a meal sometime soon.

Everyone slept quite late that day, for obvious reasons. Seokjin didn’t wake up until close to the noon hour, along with Yoongi. Namjoon didn’t wake up until close to three in the afternoon, and when he did wake up he felt different. Like a new individual, though he was still very much the same Namjoon from before. He sat in his bed, looking up towards his ceiling. Just thinking, something he did an awful lot.

He could hear the sounds of his dongsaengs from downstairs, the laughter coming from them along with his parents. They must’ve been doing something without him, hadn’t bothered to wake him up. That hurt a little bit, though he also felt that maybe he was being too oversensitive.

Wow, he had just woken up and he already felt all the negative thoughts coming back in again. It seemed as if after he had opened up the bottle of emotions, they kept spilling out. No filter to keep them in again. What a mistake he had made.

But he had made Taehyung so happy. So, so happy. He hadn’t even gotten told how long he was going to be grounded yet, how long his iPad would be taken away for. His parents didn’t even seem that angry, more worried about his well being and where he was. He didn’t really deserve them.

Namjoon got up, needing to use the bathroom. The hall bathroom was occupied by someone, and he surely was not going downstairs. So he went into the master bathroom, even though he knew he was only supposed to go in there in desperate circumstances. In fact, he wasn’t supposed to go in there all together. Once again though, he wasn’t going downstairs and he really had to take a shit.

This was basically a desperate circumstance.

There was a reason why the kids weren’t really supposed to use the master bathroom. Yoongi and Seokjin tried to keep it clean, but in reality the countertop was a mess. And not just with the usual things, the usual things plus a couple bottles of lube and a dildo as well. Needless to say, Namjoon got out of there as quick as he possibly could for his own sanity and his parents’ sanity.

But of course, he managed to run into them on the way out. Sitting on the bed, thankfully not doing anything freaky or of that nature.

“I really just had to use the bathroom and the other one was in use and I didn’t wanna go downstairs and-”

“You’re fine Namjoon. No need to worry. We need to talk anyways.” Oh yeah, that’s right. “Come and sit over here sweetheart.” Yoongi patted the bed a few times and gestured for Namjoon to sit. He did as he was told.

“So dad and I were talking…” This couldn’t mean any good. What exactly were they talking about? “And we think it might be a good idea for you to talk to a therapist.”

“But appa! I don’t have problems like that, I was just really stressed and all! I was just spewing off all of that because I was tired, that doesn’t mean that I have issues and all that!” And it happened again, it was as if once the cork came off the bottle everything spewed out. Namjoon had bottled up it for so long that now, nearly the smallest thing would set him off. He once again had to try and steady his breathing, try to bring himself back to reality.

They both reached out to Namjoon, who looked on the verge of crying again. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for your feelings Joon-ah. You know that neither of us will mind if you just need a shoulder to cry on. Never hesitate to come see us if you need to talk. Ok?”

Namjoon nodded. “When do I see the therapist?”

“Monday. Now go rest for a little while. Go see your brothers, especially the three you weren’t with yesterday.”

“Oh, and if you were wondering, both you and Taehyung are grounded for two months. Is that clear?”

“Yes dad.” And Namjoon got off the bed, exiting the room. Those past 36 hours had been revealing of who he was as a person. Maybe it was a good thing that Taehyung had wanted to go to Daegu, he had found someone close to him, and Namjoon was going to get some help that he needed.

(A/N: bad ending ik, I’m working on it)