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Without even a goodbye, Jeff is off. His figure fades among the trees, hidden by snowfall and thick leaves. He is cloaked by the night. The darkness swallows Jeff, and try as he might, even when he squints, Tony can no longer make out any part of him. Jeff's uniform is devoured by the cool hues of night in deep blues, greens, and blacks. The fair gold of his hair is peppered with off-white snow until the trees' shadows darken the straw yellow to a deep gray. He is nothing more than a fleeting ghost.
The snow pounds down a little harder and blinds Tony. He wipes his eyes with the back of his stiff sleeve. He sniffs, the faintest fear of catching a cold intruding his thoughts. Tony grips the slippery fence, his digits threatening to slide off. Even with chills racing up his arms to his brain, he keeps searching the deep woods for any sign of Jeff.
Minutes pass. Long, stretching seconds torment him. The shoddy hope of hearing Jeff's voice is carried away by the bristling winds.
Tony lets his fingers fall. His skin burns pale white from an oppressive blast of cold air. Tony wonders how Jeff can withstand the frigid weather, but once Jeff focuses on a task, he will not falter. If it were him, Tony thinks he would have waited until morning to set out.
He only turns away from the fence when his back begins aching. Tony feels the leftover impressions of Jeff's heels digging into his spine. He cracks his back, bringing of a modicum of relief. Idly rubbing his hip, Tony peers back at his private school.
The other boys will be wondering where Jeff is going. Gossip leaps past the lips and enters the ears too fast for rumors to be stopped. Perhaps the school officials would become infuriated and launch an investigation if they uncovered Jeff's daring escape.
Tony knows Jeff has his own secrets, some mundane and some trapped in locked boxes with the key intangible. Privacy is certainly important to him. Even Tony is not entirely sure of why Jeff needed to dash off in the middle of the night. Details like “telepathy,” “destiny,” and a girl named Paula are still key factors that leave him in the dark.
He still isn't even sure if Jeff will call him. Despite Tony helping him in his time of need, Jeff left without committing to a simple promise. Tony knows payphones aren't too hard to find. Just a few quarters could lead to a conversation. Jeff could even ask to use a phone at a hotel. Perhaps Jeff, with all of his brilliance, could even make a mobile phone.
Anything would be acceptable to ease the strain on Tony's heart. Tony grips his chest when his heart pangs against his ribs. It threatens to burst out as his blood cools and the sweat of his brow freezes. The tips of his brown bangs form crystals and stick together. His nose burns a bright, cherry red, and mucus threatens to dribble over his lips. Rubbing his arms, Tony stumbles towards the school.
The wind whips his face, and he tucks his chin to his chest. He clutches the worn cloth of his uniform and brings it closer around his stomach. His thumbs tickle the loose buttons. The smooth plastic material provides meager comfort as he tries to focus on moving. Each step on the crunchy snow is labored. One foot after the other presses forward, sinking him further into a pit of anxiety and despair.
His thoughts swirl in his head, rapidly rotating with a tornado's fury. The fear of whatever Jeff's hidden destiny is looms like a curtain preparing to fall on the pitiful actor. Tony won't be there to help Jeff when it eventually crashes down, leaving Tony helpless in his own self-inflicted paranoia.
Without a simple promise upheld, Tony is left to trudge back to his school as terror rips through his hopes and prayers. Jeff is too far gone. In the throes of the forest without a single look back or a word said, Jeff left Tony to wallow in his own fright. Tony would rather endure frostbite than deal with one second more of his own anxiety, and he knows Jeff won't be there to quell his fright if he would even care.
Approaching the thick, wooden doors of the academy, Tony wills himself to peer over his shoulder. He faces the ice-coated fence with its spires looking sharper than he remembered. The forest stretches beyond his understanding. Shadows paint the world with a heavy brush. Snow continues to fall without a shred of mercy.
Jeff is gone. Beyond Tony's fleeting expectations, Jeff is somewhere in the world. He may save it or walk right into his own demise. All because of the frail promise of a random girl, Jeff leaves Tony behind.
Tony knows it's selfish to feel that way even when his chest tightens and breathing quickens. Air forces its way down his flared nostrils. He shouldn't feel anger towards some innocent girl, but for Jeff to abandon everyone he had known for the call of some stranger leaves his insides feeling slimy. Maybe it's the crisp wind or bludgeoning snowfall battering him and making his guts feel like they're squirming, but those wounds can heal. The rippling pool of anxiety in his belly never ceases.
Tony snatches the doorknob. It's far colder than the fence. As if gouged, he flinches and yanks his hand to his face. Gazing at his shivering palm, he wishes Jeff were there to heal his injury and tell him everything will be okay, that he will call him when morning comes. When the sun shines down on both of them, Tony wants nothing more than a quick phone call and reassurance.
He tries again for the doorknob, and he's numbed to the cold. Tony's lips quiver. He rests his forehead against the door, and although his body convulses under the strength of frigidity, scorching rejection transforms the anxiety in his belly into red hot misery.
Throwing open the door, Tony steps inside and no longer looks back. When the door slams shut, it's like the final bell. Swallowing the saliva that clings to the roof of his mouth, Tony fails to create a smile and hobbles all the way back to bed.
He was probably just as anxious as me, he thinks when he pulls the covers over his head, and that's why he didn't agree. That's it. That's got to be it.
Feeble, fleeting hope aside, Tony falls into a dreamless sleep. He tosses and turns, trapped in a cocoon of chilly air and self-doubt. Tony can do nothing more but hope his question will be answered when the sun shines through the windows in comforting streaks.
When morning comes, the call does not.