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I think we ALL need a hunk in our lives

Summary:

Basically a voltron groupchat fic thats klance centered but not just klance at the same time dab dab
also there will probably be scenes that arent in groupchat form but we'll see
..
Pidgey: damb
Pidgey: h*ck you guys I could be innocent and very normal if I wanted
Blueballs: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Blueballs: BIDGEON USE BIG BOY BAD WORD
Blueballs: ME NO LIKEY
Pidgey: well yeah? fr*ck your standards
Blueballs: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Notes:

Blueballs: Lance
Keef: Keith
Grampaps: Shiro
Pidgey: Pidge
GordonRamsMe: Hunk
GodisaWoman:Allura
Hearithurgling: Matt

Chapter 1: The Start

Chapter Text

Blueballs has added GordonRamsMe, GodisaWoman, Pidgey, Keef, Grampaps, and Hearithurgling to the chat

Blueballs has changed the name of the chat to Gamers Only

 

Blueballs: What's up h

Blueballs: oes

Keef: Lance what is this

Keef: You know I barely use this app why would you add me to a groupchat with 6 other people

Blueballs: Relax keef you can turn off notifs

Keef: how

Blueballs: hhnhnhnh keef you noob I'll dm you

Keef: ok

GordonRamsMe: OwO what's this?

Pidgey: Hunk, my friend, my buddy, shut the hell your mouth

GordonRamsMe: :(

Pidgey: My bad that was too mean I'm sorry you have full permission to eradicate my elbows

Hearithurgling: YEAH PIDGE HOW COULD YOU

Hearithurgling: DON'T BE FUCKING

Hearithurgling: RUDE

Pidgey: Matt what I said no longer applies to Hunk but to you

Pidgey: stop referencing the same like,, 5 videos

Grampaps: MATT CALLOUT

Hearithurgling: katie do you really want to try me, gremlin?

Hearithurgling: also shiro ur next

Grampaps: try me, twink

Pidgey: Shiro what took you so long to come here?

Hearithurgling: I see you gremlin

Hearithurgling: You kids and your

Hearithurgling: Diverting the subject

Hearithurgling: But yeah Shiro u took long af like wtf man

Grampaps: Sorry I was too busy clapping ur grandpa

Pidgey: :0

GordonRamsMe: :0c

Blueballs: :0cc

Keef: I

Hearithurgling: what is this filthy talk old man

Hearithurgling: ever since your hair went white youve been pretty bold

Hearithurgling: I miss the old shiro

Hearithurgling: Straight from the go shiro

Grampaps: To be quite frank

Grampaps: I don't give a fuck

Grampaps: I'm going to die at the ancient age of 7 anyways

Grampaps: Eat ass live fast am I right

Keef: Never type that again

Keef: you sound like

Keef: him

Blueballs: you called?

Hearithurgling: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hearithurgling: hear him hurgling.

Hearithurgling: John fortnite is here

Pidgey: Thats it youre all cancelled

Pidgey: Also Lance you never stated why you made this groupchat

Blueballs: Ok so basically

Hearithurgling: IM MONKY

Blueballs: DAMNNIT MATT OMG

Blueballs: To make a long ass story short

Blueballs: I shoved a whole bag of jellybeans up my ass

GodisaWoman: I just wanted to make some cookies man and I come back to my phone and see this

GodisaWoman: I just wanted to bake some goods to go with my earl grey

Godisawoman: This is British oppression

Blueballs: ALLURA

Blueballs: GUYS THE QUEEN IS HERE

Blueballs: the LEGEND

Hearithurgling: my pubic hairs are in ORBIT

Pidgey: hey matt I don't want to hear about your pubic hair 

Pidgey: anyways what up b we haven't chatted in like,, since yesterday

Keef: I forgot I was still here

Keef: Hi I haven't died (yet)

Blueballs: edgy

Grampaps: hey allura!

GodisaWoman: god this groupchat is as doomed as the last one

Pidgey: OH YEAH LANCE YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION

Blueballs: ok so

Blueballs: the old groupchat was dead so I made this one

Blueballs: also it didnt have keith or shiro because they both yeeted themselves out

Pidgey: understandable have a great d

Keef: wowie I almost feel special

Keef: *creep by radiohead plays in bg*

Hearithurgling: BUT I'M A CREEP

Grampaps: I'M A WEIRDOOO

Blueballs: WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?

Pidgey: I DON'T BELONG HERE

GordonRamsMe: y'all done?

Blueballs: Y'ALL

Pidgey: keef has really rubbed off on all of us

Pidgey: ugh his mind

Keef: why do you guys still call me keef will I ever catch a break

Pidgey: no

Blueballs: no

GordonRamsMe: no :(

GodisaWoman: no

Hearithurgling: no

Grampaps: no

Keef: SHIRO NOT YOU TOO

Grampaps: yes me too

Keef: Jesus will remember that

Keef: also why can't I change my user.. like at all

Pidgey: >;^3c

Keef: Pidge you little shit

Hearithurgling: Pidge as your older brother I demand that you delete that face

Hearithurgling: That is singlehandedly the worst thing you've ever typed

Hearithurgling: wait nevermind the essay on how cannibals correctly eat ass vs regular people is

Hearithurgling: but this is coming in second

Blueballs: excuse me the WHAT now

GordonRamsME: Lance this is Pidge we're talking about

Blueballs: damb you right

Pidgey: damb

Pidgey: h*ck you guys I could be innocent and very normal if I wanted

Blueballs: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Blueballs: BIDGEON USE BIG BOY BAD WORD

Blueballs: ME NO LIKEY

Pidgey: well yeah? fr*ck your standards

Blueballs: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Blueballs: deadass explodes

Pidgey: y'all hear sum?

Keef: I hear sum but imma ignore it

Grampaps: stop bullying the nice cuban boy 

Keef: I'll bully him all I want

Blueballs: meanie

Blueballs: keith how does it feel to literally commit a hate crime

Keef: what do you mean

GordonRamsMe: Oh no

GordonRamsMe: Lance no

Pidge: oh god no

Blueballs: WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Blueballs: WHEN YOU NOD YOUR HEAD YES

Blueballs: BUT YOU WANNA SAY NO

Grampaps: I'm shutting this down right now

Grampaps: Lance I didn't go through hell and back for this

Blueballs: you guys are no fun :(

Keef: no we just appreciate our mental health

GodisaWoman: its selfcare

GodisaWoman: also be sure to drink water to avoid crusty skin and crippling depression

Keef: too late

Hearithurgling: yo do you guys remember that one song

Keef: very specific

GordonRamsMe: how does it go

Hearithurgling: all the time i turn around

Hearithurgling: brothers gather round

Hearithurgling: always looking at me up and down

Hearithurgling: always looking at my u h

Blueballs: FERGALICIOUS

Blueballs: OMG I LOVE THAT SONG

Grampaps: aw my early highschool years

Grampaps: or was it late middle school

Grampaps: oh god i have dementia

Hearithurgling: you're really rocking the grandpa role shiro

GordonRamsMe: why are you being so mean to him hes both 6 and 87

GordonRamsMe: don't be mean to really old people and really young people

GordonRamsMe: I thought this was socially expected

Grampaps: hunk is the only child that matters here

Grampaps: the rest of you are trash

Blueballs: :(

Pidgey: :(

Keef: >:/

Hearithurgling: wow shiro

Hearithurgling: being called trash is the worst thing to do to young impressionable teenagers like pidge, keith, and lance

Hearithurgling: don't be so cruel

Grampaps: I know for a fact that I am not getting lectured by Matthew Holt in the flesh

Grampaps: you were just talking abt ur pubes like 5 minutes ago

Hearithurgling: in my defense

Hearithurgling: h

Hearithurgling: ur mom gay

Grampaps: im offended

Blueballs: get dunked on dad

Pidgey: get rekt m8

Keef: get roasted liberal

GordonRamsMe: god what is even going on anymore

Blueballs: idk and tbh idc

Grampaps: you kids and your abbreviations

Grampaps: speak like regular humans please

Blueballs: no

Pidgey: no

Grampaps: I guess I've been outvoted

Grampaps: but one day

Blueballs: hey keith

Keef: ?

Blueballs: can i haz beesechurger? >w<

Keef: thats it thats it im sick and tired of all the dumb things going on around here

Keef: im gonna

Keef: im gonna

Keef: im gonna go commit lance block

Blueballs: PLEASE DON'T

Blueballs: WHO ELSE WILL SUPPLY ME UNNECESSARY ANGER AND/OR INDIFFERENCE 

Blueballs: THOSE ARE THE 2 EMOTIONS I LACK THE MOST

Keef: too bad

Grampaps: you kids are a mess

GodisaWoman: I think we're all messes

GodisaWoman: but we're messes together

GodisaWoman: and thats what makes us a chaotic force to be reckoned with

Blueballs: thats oddly inspirational

Blueballs: allura wtf

GodisaWoman: ;)

GordonRamsMe: I came for memes I stayed for wholesomeness

Pidgey: real chaotic force hours

Blueballs: anyways

Blueballs: I'm tired

Blueballs: I think I'm done memeing for right now

Blueballs: goodnight guys

Pidgey: gn >:3

Keef: gn

GordonRamsMe: gn <3

Grampaps: gn

GodisaWoman: gn

Hearithurgling: gn

Hearithurgling: JOHN FORTNITE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hearithurgling: so

Hearithurgling: can i get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

Hearithurgling: big titty anime neku alien waifu gf

Keef: god this chat is already going to shit