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English
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Part 6 of Reclaim
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Good Shigaraki Centric Fic, my hero academia: a medley, my heart is here, ILuxuryCruiseThatsfanficcollection, Jaded Discord Server Recommendations
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Published:
2018-12-07
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2021-04-17
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329,349
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48/48
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Reconfigure

Summary:

It's been years since the League of Villains was disbanded. Out on parole and stuck in therapy, Tomura Shigaraki is coasting through life. While he's no longer a villain, he's not exactly a productive member of society either. When an awkward past fling shows up, he's met with a shock: a 3-month-old baby girl. Turns out motherhood is hard when you're a serial killer. Suddenly saddled with the responsibility of a child, Shigaraki has a choice: keep his life the boring way it is or become a father for his kid he didn't know he had.

He knows nothing about being a good parent (and neither does the recently paroled Dabi/Touya Todoroki), but help comes in the most surprising of forms, specifically pro hero Uravity. All Ochako Uraraka wants to do is be a hero, so when she stumbles across the former villain with a baby, she can't help but worry. With Shigaraki clueless, Uraraka decides to do her best to help. What starts out as a chance meeting between two old enemies turns into something else as they find themselves in a strange predicament and more people get involved. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Sometimes, it's a handful of mostly reformed villains and the heroes they tried to kill when they were teens.

Notes:

I know what you're thinking - or close enough to it: one look at that pairing and the summary and it's clear that I've gone off my rocker. You're probably right, but it has been an absolute blast writing this. When Misty got me hooked on the super hilarious show, "Raising Hope," I had no idea it would spawn into this hot mess, so first I must thank her. I also need to thank everyone on the "sarcasm and sobbing" discord for not only listening to Misty and I talk about this, but getting hype, asking questions, and becoming involved in this ridiculousness. I figured like all of three people would read this disaster, but they've been so supportive and inspirational.

Not only has this fic allowed me to be nostalgic about both the good and bad parts of single parenthood (my daughter is a week shy of seventeen-months-old as of today), but also a reflection of what it's been like to be the single one in a friend group where everyone is married and in another stage of their lives. It's actually been kind of cathartic. Hopefully, anyone who has a kid - especially if it was unexpected like mine (and Shigaraki's to the extreme) - can relate to some parts of this. Somehow, I've been able to combine these two very relatable experiences for me into this absolute crack fic that I've...somewhat taken seriously. There are going to be some unusual and plain weird pairings in this, but honestly, a lot of this is just about found family, parenthood, recovery, and growing the fuck up in a messed up world and situation.

I have loved writing every second of this. I know it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Hopefully, people don't get too mad over this. If they do, well, it's not like I'm going to stop writing this. I'm 70k in already. This is set approximately eight years from where the series is now, so everyone's an adult and still very much messes like most people in their twenties. It doesn't matter if you're a hero, a reformed villain, or a regular person: your twenties will kick your ass and you will be expected to say it's the most fun time of your life.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: congrats on the fatherhood

Chapter Text

"She tried to choke me with a pair of shoelaces. She was screaming something about how I forgot her birthday. I chased her for a few blocks, but then she jumped into a van with some guy. Good luck, dude. Her birthday's May 12th. I'd buy a card now."
-- Lucy's Victim, "Raising Hope, Pilot"

 

When Tomura Shigaraki woke up at ten A.M. for his stupid job, he had no idea his life was about to change forever.

Dramatic as that sounded, his life had fallen into a routine so monotonous that the days blended together. He woke up late. He either went to work or his court-mandated therapy sessions. He ate shitty fast food for lunch and made shitty attempts at cooking for dinner. He checked in with his parole officer once a week. He spent what was probably an absurd amount of time playing video games, switching between online and RPG depending on his mood. (Well, that part wasn’t very different from before.) He stayed up too late, spent too much money on energy drinks, and repeated the process over and over again.

It wasn’t much of a life, but it was a normal one. Perfectly bland, painfully average, and outrageously legal. He didn’t even torrent video games anymore. He was a decent citizen who, although not contributing much to society, wasn’t trying to kill the Symbol of Peace or burn down hero society out of “misplaced anger” and “trauma” anymore, or whatever his therapist said.

Staring at his reflection in the grimy mirror, Shigaraki ran his fingers through his light blue hair. It was starting to hang in his face again. He would have to get a haircut soon. A part of him wanted to keep it shaggy, but then he thought of how it was supposed to be important that he not fall back into old habits. Hiding his face was a habit he hadn’t even realized he had until after the League. No more creepy disembodied hand to cover his face, no more hair hanging in his eyes, no more hunching over and hiding in the shadow of his hood.

Nope, he had to face the world and the world had to see him.

He didn’t like it much.

Even if he was a plain old citizen, it didn’t take away simple facts. His decay quirk still tended to dry out his skin, which meant he was either forced to take extra care of his face or look like a crusty asshole for everyone to see. Dabi-- No, Touya thought it was amusing, but now that he couldn’t hide, Shigaraki was forced to face the fact that he was not the easiest person to look at when he let himself go. He was put in the position to have what Touya called “a beauty regimen” (it was not) in order to make sure he looked relatively decent for his everyday job.

It was annoying. Simple, civilian life was made up of tiny annoying things that he didn’t like. A boring job, bills, taxes, and a bunch of other things that made life difficult for no damn reason. Who could’ve realized how easy living off the grid had made his life before? He didn’t have that option now. No, he had to have an actual place of residence and an address. He needed a job for that too and a job came with other factors. He had to deal with people and people were, by and large, annoying as hell.

Progress. It was all about progress.

With his legal name tacked on all his paperwork, no defining hands hanging onto him, and moderate care over his appearance, no one recognized him. It had been like that before when he had been younger - before he had started to take his role as Sensei-- No, All for One’s protege more seriously in the League of Villains. No one had known him then. After the attack on the USJ, people had started to notice him more. It had been slow work in the beginning, but people had come to know him. They had even learned to fear him. Respect him. Hate him. He’d been known.

Now he was just...Tenko Shimura, even if he didn’t think of himself that way. He hadn’t wanted to use his legal name, not having any connection to it, but then his parole officer had tentatively pointed out that it would be easier for him to obtain a job if he didn’t go by a name everyone associated with a very bad and dangerous villain. He wasn’t one, not anymore thanks to the legal system and years of rehab he was unfortunately still in, but he would never be able to erase the fact that he had been one. It was a stain on his life forever.

A fucking stain. How ironic.

After taking a shower and using lotion for his skin, Shigaraki changed into clothes, grabbed his leftovers from the takeout he ordered last night, and left for work. When his parole officer had begun to help him look for an actual job, the first one he’d ever had, he had been at a loss. It was only when the young woman asked what he was good at and liked to do (you know, besides villainy) did he admit he played a lot of video games. Somehow, with her help (and a letter of recommendation from a certain hero), he got a job at a video game store. It wasn’t much of a job and it paid minimum wage, but it was something that he didn’t hate and he knew a lot about them.

Still, dealing with nerds online was a lot different than dealing with them in person. It did, however, have the effect of making him somewhat care about his appearance more. Some of those guys were unpleasant to look at. No wonder most of them were idiot trolls that couldn’t land a girl. Dealing with them had the ability to grate on his nerves, but he didn’t scratch at his neck anymore unless he was under a lot of stress. He had to grudgingly admit therapy had helped him with his temper. He needed that help too since working retail was sometimes akin to torture.

Seriously, they should’ve just forced every captured villain to work in retail. Put some quirk inhibitor braces and a tracking device on them and call it a day. Now there was some community service. Sure, he had been a villain, but he wasn’t a total asshole for absolutely no damn reason to complete strangers. It could be worse. He could work at some large corporate store. Then he might’ve gone back to prison.

It was a twenty-minute walk to the store, something of which he used to clear his head. He liked for it to be near empty by the time he reached work. Those twenty minutes gave him the ability to shake whatever nightmares or sour dreams he might’ve had the night before. No amount of therapy could get rid of those and he didn’t want to take any medication, no matter what the psychiatrist suggested. Now that he was out of prison, he wanted a clear head and he wanted it on his own.

The weather outside was nice, the sun shining down on him like a bright reminder that the day was great and he was free. For some reason, that frustrated him. Maybe one or two people gave him a weird look as he tugged on a pair of black gloves, but he ignored them. His coworkers had learned not to ask him about it. The odd customer did, mostly because they were entitled idiots who didn’t have filters, but he either explained it away by saying he didn’t like germs or it had to do with his quirk.

It was just easier to deal with it that way. He naturally grabbed things with four fingers or less out of years of habit, but it was part of his therapy to avoid doing that, which meant he had to wear gloves. Everything was about recovery and a lot of the issues he’d developed over the years centered on his quirk. He’d never thought he hated it, but now that he actively thought about it more, he supposed he did have conflicting feelings over it.

“Oh, awesome, you’re here,” the guy behind the register sighed the second he walked in. “You mind if I dip out early? It’s been super slow.”

Shigaraki waved a dismissive hand. “Whatever.”

“Sweet, thanks, you rock, Shimura,” the guy said, practically bolting to the back room.

He didn’t offer to let him leave early so he could be helpful; he did it so he could be alone. After being out of prison for months, he had gotten used to people calling him by his legal name. At first, he’d struggled to answer it, but now it was kind of like a nickname. It was better than the ones Touya had come up for him over the years. He still liked to use them no matter how irritating they were.

His coworker had been right about one thing: it was super slow. Only a few customers came in during the afternoon. When school let out, some kids strolled in and hung out, but no one needed any help, leaving him to sit behind the register and play games on his phone. He actually had a monthly plan for this thing. It was the first phone he’d owned that wasn’t a burner.

For the most part, he only used his phone for games and the internet, seeing as how he didn’t have much of a social life. It wasn’t like he had a ton of friends or was dating someone. He had kind of half-assed it for a while there - trying to be more social or whatever - but it wasn’t for him. Both his parole officer and therapist thought it was fine if he didn’t push himself right away. Getting back into society when he had never really been in it to begin with wasn’t going to be easy. Stuff like friends, dating, and shit were still foreign concepts to him.

Plus, his last attempt, while some might consider a success, had ended with the girl ghosting him before he could ghost her. Shigaraki hadn’t known whether to be offended or not. He had been a little grateful that he didn’t have to do anything to avoid her - he could even pretend that he was the good one in that case - but Touya had thought it a little too funny that he had been essentially dumped. They hadn’t even been dating. She had just been some woman he had accidentally helped at a bar when some asshole had been bothering her. And then she was gone.

Honestly, best non-relationship ever. His therapist had been proud of him for attempting something. Shigaraki had definitely not told him that he hadn’t really attempted anything. It had just sort of happened and was then over. The lack of effort he’d had to put in had been pleasant.

The familiar stress-inducing sound from Metal Gear Solid echoed from his phone. Since there was no one in the store right now, Shigaraki pulled it from his pocket and checked the text.

Fuyumi says you should come over for dinner because you eat like shit.

Fucking Touya. Fucking Todorokis. Shigaraki didn’t know how he’d ended up stuck with that asshole, but his sister did cook good home meals. It wasn’t like he had the opportunity to eat like that often. He cooked okay, as long as the microwave worked, but he didn’t enjoy it. Kurogiri had attempted to teach him, but it had ended with a lot of spoons and knives turned to ash, which didn’t flavor food all that well.

Another text popped up before he could respond: I told her you’re a troll that doesn’t leave its cave.

Shigaraki sneered and hurriedly sent back a text: I’ll be there just to piss you off.

Be here at 8 unless an old enemy picks you off first.

You wish. Eat shit.

Just to piss him off, Touya sent one last text, a fucking smiley emoji. Shigaraki huffed and shoved his phone back in his pocket just as the front door jingled, letting him know that someone was walking into the store. After accidentally making awkward eye contact with some guy that was even paler than him, he went back to pretending he was organizing something under the register. There was no way that guy needed any help. He probably only left the house to buy a new game.

Another employee came in not long after that and Shigaraki was able to clock out thirty minutes later. It was a ten-minute walk to the nearest subway entrance and then between ten and fifteen minutes to Fuyumi Todoroki’s apartment, where Touya was staying. The asshole had been lucky enough to be able to move in with his twin when he got out on parole. Unlike Shigaraki, he’d gone back to going by his legal name, although he shot murderous glares at anyone who used his surname.

However, before he made it ten steps away from the video game store, he felt a hand wrap around his arm. As dumb as it was, the first thing to pop into his mind was Touya’s stupid comment about an enemy picking him off. He jumped into the fight response, jerking around and reaching out to touch the person who had grabbed him, although he realized belatedly he was wearing gloves so his quirk was useless. When he came face-to-face with his attacker though, he came to a shocked halt and gawked at them.

“I remember you saying you worked here!” the woman exclaimed cheerfully. “I wasn’t sure you’d still be here though.”

Shigaraki blinked in confusion. “Himura…” He wasn’t sure what to say except, “I thought you ghosted me.”

Himura laughed and let go of him. “Some stuff came up and I had to leave town abruptly, but I’m back now. It’s been a while, I know.”

A while? Shigaraki shook his head. It had been over a year. Sure, it wasn’t like he’d become a monk or anything like that, but he hadn’t really attempted much of anything since then either. One of the last things he wanted right now was anything as locked in as a relationship, even if everyone seemed to be harping on him about making more social and emotional connections.

“You busy right now?” Himura asked. He was, but before he could even answer, she continued, “There’s someone you need to meet.”

“Uh…” That sounded ominous. He didn’t like it one bit. Despite the fact that they had been, ah, fairly intimate for a night, they were strangers. He had been quite content never seeing her again and did not want to meet anyone in her life or vice versa. “I’ve actually got-”

She swooped a duffle bag from her side to rest in front of her and then dug around in it to pull something out. “Tada!” He had expected her to pull out some tiny dog or something (people were weird about their pets), but instead, she pulled out a fucking baby in a blue onesie that was far too big for it. “Meet your daughter!”

His what ?

Shigaraki frowned and stared at the wiggly little thing. “What the fuck?”

“This is your little girl, silly,” Himura replied teasingly, still holding the child out to him like he might want to hold it. He most certainly did not. He’d never held a baby in his life and he wasn’t about to start now. “Her name is Princess.”

She had named a baby Princess? Like Princess Peach? It was a terrible name. She should’ve gone for something a little more subtle. Why name the baby Princess and not the actual name of one? Shigaraki shook his head. Now was not the time to argue over names, especially when he couldn’t possibly be involved in this mess. No way was this his child. She had to be mistaken. She had to be wrong. She...

“How…?” His mind was struggling to keep up, like it was lagging on a server that was too busy.

When Himura grinned, it was strangely sharp, which didn’t fit the situation at all. “Well, you see, when two consenting adults find themselves locked in an amorous embrace…”

“Shut up! I know how babies are made! I just-” Shigaraki snapped his mouth shut so hard that his teeth rattled.

Himura shrugged and said, “Life happens sometimes,” before all but shoving the child into his arms. If he hadn’t grabbed the squirming thing at the last second, it would’ve fallen on the sidewalk.

All Shigaraki could do was stare down at the baby, which looked up at him with equally confused eyes. Red eyes. Just like his. It didn’t have a lot of hair, but from what it did have, it looked brown. Like hers.

No, no, this was not happening. This was insane. There was no way this tiny blob could belong to him. He couldn’t have a baby. He didn’t know anything about babies. What did they eat? How much sleep did they need? Did he have to take her on walks? Could she walk? She looked tiny and fragile. Far too fragile for someone like him.

“I can’t-”

“Oh please, you’ll be fine,” Himura insisted. She pulled the strap of the duffle bag from her shoulder and hooked it onto Shigaraki’s shoulder as he found himself locked in a staring competition with the baby. “Listen, I’ve got some things I have to take care of. If you could watch her for a few weeks, that would be great. You still living at the same place? Or, if you wanna keep her, that’s cool too. This mothering thing is...  Well, I don’t know. Maybe it’s not my thing.”

At the end of her rambling, Shigaraki’s brain managed to catch up to her words and he tore his gaze away from the baby to stare furiously at Himura. “Wait - what the fuck? Hold on. You can’t just-” In his arms, the baby started to wiggle more, making it difficult for him to hold onto it. She was tiny and weak compared to him, but it was still hard. “What the hell are you going on about? We need to- I can’t-” He held the baby back out to her. “You can’t just pop up, hand me a baby, and walk off. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

Himura winked at him. “I know who you are, Tomura Shigaraki.”

He flushed, his heart going cold. Admittedly, Himura was one of the few times he’d gone by Tenko Shimura. He should have known it was a terrible idea, but the beer and sudden buoyancy of confidence had tricked him somehow. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with anyone in any way. Apparently, it hadn’t mattered because she had known who he was - and she hadn’t cared. And if she didn’t care about who he was, then that meant…

Slowly, Shigaraki pulled the child toward his chest. “What do you have to take care of?”

“More like who,” Himura giggled. She tapped him on the nose, lightning fast, and then put her hands on her hips. “I’ve got this detective on my back and he’s been chasing me everywhere. Let me tell you: going on the run with a baby is almost impossible. It was becoming such a hassle.” She rolled her eyes. “I figured I’d just take him and his family out, maybe make it look like a murder-suicide, and then all will be good.”

“You…what?”

Shigaraki was pretty sure his mind was going to explode. Was this how people had felt like when they talked to him back in his villain days? He couldn’t imagine he had been this warped and delusional - this flippant about murder - but he knew he had been bad. He’d spent years dreaming about getting revenge on all the heroes he’d believed had failed him. He had been crazy about it, fervent, determined. It had been all he wanted. There hadn’t been room for anything else.

But the idea of abandoning a child… An innocent baby...

It made him think of all the people that had walked past him the day his world came to an end. It pissed him off.

“You understand, right?” Himura continued. “Oh, yeah, I know - you’re good now” - she giggled - “but you’ll never be able to escape what you truly are.” She waved a hand at him. “Video game store employee? You were the leader of the League of Villains. You were the boss in all those games! Keep on trying to lie to yourself. Eventually, you’ll fall back into it.” She reached out and gently ran a hand over the baby’s soft head. “Maybe we can even teach her our ways. I’m not into notoriety or anything, but I could learn.”

Something terrible burned in Shigaraki, growing hotter with each word that came out of Himura’s mouth. It was the familiar feeling of hate, an emotion which made him sick to his stomach these days. It had been a long time since he had hated someone this much. It mixed with disgust and rage, filling him like an overflowing pot of boiling water, until all of it finally melted away into fear.

That was what he was afraid of, wasn’t he? That all of this was for naught. That everything he’d done to change his life - to become someone different - would be utterly worthless. That he was worthless and would only ever amount to anything as a villain. After all, he wasn’t a productive member of society by any means. He was nothing. He didn’t mean shit anymore. He didn’t mean shit to anyone. He didn’t have anyone.

His eyes flickered down to the baby, who now had a weak fistful of his shirt. She didn’t either, did she? Not if Himura was ready to abandon her, which she certainly sounded like she was. Maybe she’d come back. Maybe she’d want the baby again. Princess. But for how long? How long until she tired of motherhood? How long until her flippancy about murder turned against someone who couldn’t defend herself? Who trusted her? Needed her? Or would she raise her to think the way she did? Never give her a chance to become her own person?

The fear left, replaced with something cold and decisive. “Okay.”

Himura tilted her head. “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll keep her,” Shigaraki replied coldly.

“Thanks!” Either she didn’t notice his tone or she didn’t care because she smiled and gave him an awkward hug, ignoring the way she squished the baby between them. The baby didn’t like that, letting out an uncomfortable cry that pierced his ears. It was a weird sound. “Same number, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shigaraki replied. He moved the child to one arm, struggling to hold it as it began to fight more. She didn’t want him to hold her. She wanted her mom. He winced. Sorry, kid. “I just have to make a quick call. Let my friend know I’m not going to make it over.”

“Of course,” Himura said, hopping on her feet excitedly. “Maybe when I finish my business, we can get dinner. Aw, we can go out like a family.” She eyed the baby in a strange way as Shigaraki fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed quickly. “Still not sure about that motherhood thing, but I figured if I ever got caught, they wouldn’t go for the death penalty at least. A baby would make me look soft, you know?”

Shigaraki’s lips twitched into an uncomfortable smile. “Oh yeah, definitely.”

Keeping one eye on her, he turned away when his call was answered, leaving her to keep talking to herself. He tuned her out. Hopefully, the police would get here before she vanished into thin air again. Apparently, he knew her even less than he’d realized, but one thing he did know about her, besides her flexibility, was that she was great at becoming a ghost. Maybe turning her in would get him some bonus points with the authorities.

Of course this would happen. He attempted to have a simple fling, like a normal idiot in their twenties, and happened to knock up what sounded like a serial killer villain. Fuck, Touya was going to lose his shit over this.

After giving the address of the store and explaining (more or less) what was going on, Shigaraki ended the call and slowly began to back away. He knew next to nothing about babies, but he knew that they were very fragile. So much could hurt them. With one hand holding it up and the other protectively cradling its head, he put as much distance between them and Himura as he could before she got suspicious. He was right at his job’s door when she finally turned around and noticed he’d moved away from her.

Himura froze, staring at him like she couldn’t quite recognize him. “You’re leaving without saying goodbye?”

“Yeah, we’re both pretty good at that, aren’t we?” Shigaraki responded, going for cool but coming off as stiff. Unlike Touya, he couldn’t just rid himself or his voice of emotions. He fell into a bored droll half the time, but that was only because life got so boring that managing more didn’t seem worth the effort. Right now, he was so tense he felt like he might snap.

“Of course.” Himura’s eyes narrowed. “Let me kiss my girl goodbye at least.”

“I thought you weren’t into the whole mom thing,” Shigaraki replied edgily.

“Shigaraki.”

“Himura,” he shot back mockingly.

“What did you do?” she demanded.

He didn’t back down or look away as he flatly stated, “What I had to.” He wasn’t going back to jail and he wasn’t going to let her run around either, not when he realized the danger she presented.

Himura’s demeanor changed almost immediately, going from absurd rambling to cold in a second. It was all too familiar. He had seen that same thing in himself prior to his arrest and incarceration. He could feel it in him now, but it was also different. He felt...protective. Which was ridiculous since he’d only just found out about this baby. He didn’t have it in him to be a dad, least of all with no warning, but he knew a bad influence when he saw one. He knew a path of darkness when put in front of him.

The day he became the lesser of two evils had to mean the world was ending.

When a pair of pro heroes walked up behind her, Shigaraki didn’t make a face or move a muscle. He maintained eye contact with her, keeping her locked on him. If he’d been forced to take a glove off and use his quirk, he would have, but he also knew it would’ve put him in a bad position, even if he tried to claim self-defense. He wasn’t sure what her quirk was, but the second she took a step towards them, the heroes jumped into action. All in all, because she had been caught off guard, her capture was shockingly quick.

“You called the cops?” Himura exclaimed as she struggled against them. They’d put quirk inhibitor handcuffs on her quickly, managing to throw her to the ground, but she flailed and kicked, her voice getting more hysterical by the second. “I can’t believe you called heroes on me! You bastard! What kind of villain are you?”

Not a very good one, Shigaraki thought as the heroes’ eyes flickered to him.

Shigaraki leveled her with an unimpressed gaze. “One on parole trying to get better.”

“Liar!” Himura began to scream. “You’re a liar!” By now, the police had shown up, stepping in to secure the area to make sure no one was hurt. “You’re a villain and you’ll always be one!”

“Maybe,” Shigaraki admitted quietly to himself, “but I’m free.”

Somewhat mystified by the whole ordeal, he watched as Himura was loaded into a vehicle and the door was shut in her face, muffling her screams. It went about a hundred times smoother than his arrest, which had resulted in a lot of destruction. Red and blue lights flashed around him, along with a crowd of gawkers. None of it felt real, not even the heavy weight in his arms. He glanced down, surprised that the thing hadn’t started crying with all the commotion. Surely it didn’t feel safe or content with him. He was a complete stranger.

“Sir?” a pro hero prompted.

Shigaraki huffed and rolled his eyes. “You know who I am. No need to play coy, hero.”

For his part, the pro hero had the decency to look a little embarrassed. Naturally, every hero in the city knew who he was on sight. He might be able to hide his identity from the general public since they knew him by his legal name, but the heroes and police knew him better. They wouldn’t be very good at their jobs if they didn’t know the former leader of the League of Villains lived in the area. They had to make sure he didn’t slip up and fall back into villainy.

“We can take the child now,” the hero said, holding out his hands.

Out of an instinct that he didn’t know he had, Shigaraki twisted away and hugged the baby closer to his chest, blurting out an almost panicked, “No.”

The hero looked about as surprised as Shigaraki felt, raising his eyebrows and dropping his jaw a little. He didn’t know where that had come from. Minutes ago, he could’ve sworn that he would have handed this child off to the first person that asked for it, but all of a sudden, fear spiked through him and he didn’t want to let her go. He thought about giving her away and never seeing her again. It would be better that way, wouldn’t it? Someone else could raise her better. He didn’t know how to raise her. He didn’t think he could.

“She’s mine,” Shigaraki continued, trying to calm himself down. He sounded confused. He felt confused. He probably looked it too.

The hero didn’t look like he believed him entirely. “She’s yours?”

“Yeah, she…” Shigaraki looked down at the baby girl, who stared up at him with sleepy red eyes and still had a hold of his shirt with one tiny fist. “Look, I’ll come down to the station. I’ll take a test. Whatever.” He didn’t know why he was being so adamant about this. He should’ve given her up. He should’ve let her go. “I called you guys, remember? You can’t take her from me. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Not this time, at least.

What the hell was he doing? This hero would know what to do. It would be better for all of them if he handed her over. He tried to think of his father and what he looked like - what kind of man and parent he had been - but he could no longer remember the man’s face. All Shigaraki could remember was ash. Once upon a time, he would’ve moved on to thinking about All for One, but when he popped into his head, his stomach turned.

He didn’t know anything about kids. He didn’t know anything about being a father. This was stupid. He was acting like an idiot.

A familiar face walked up behind the hero, laying a hand on his shoulder. “You can go on and take the suspect into custody. If she is who I think she is, it’s going to be a long night.” The hero cast one last furtive look at Shigaraki and then walked away.

Shigaraki’s face settled into a stony expression. “Detective Naomasa.”

“When I heard you made the call…” Naomasa gave him an appraising look. “You’ve done well. Thank you.”

“It doesn’t feel good,” Shigaraki muttered. Calling heroes on a villain… It didn’t get more average citizen than that. He could’ve taken care of her - he knew that - but it wasn’t his place. It made him feel pathetic and weak. Was this how everyone else felt like when a villain attacked?

Naomasa turned to look watch the car with Himura in it drive off. “She’s wanted for a lot of murders. You might have given a lot of people some peace by calling this in.” He held out his hand. It was a simple gesture, but one that drew Shigaraki’s attention. Shaking hands was still unfamiliar to him. It was so innocent, but something that made him wary as well. Nonetheless, he pulled his hand away from the baby’s head and shook the detective’s hand. “That’s really your daughter?”

“Yes.” There was something final about the way Shigaraki said it. It felt like a piece of a puzzle falling into place. The picture wasn’t complete, so he couldn’t tell what it was, but it was starting to make more sense. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew what he had to do. “She’s mine.”

He couldn’t just abandon her like everyone had abandoned him.

“Well then.” Naomasa took his hand back and pocketed it. “I suppose congratulations are in order.” Shigaraki snorted. That was probably the nicest reaction he was going to get concerning this mess. “It’s late. I’ll take your statement here and you can leave.” His gaze turned back to the child. “You sure you know what you’re doing?”

“I’ll figure something out,” Shigaraki responded.

Naomasa actually laughed. “That’s what everyone thinks but doesn’t say when they become a parent.”

Chapter 2: how do you hold this thing?

Notes:

sdjdsjfajds I could not be more elated by the positive responses and support that the first chapter got! I was so scared about this being completely shit on. Misty can attest to that. I'd like to think that I have somewhat of a thick skin when it comes to my writing, but when I started this fic, I didn't realize it would get kind of personal for me. Which is dumb. I'm writing about single parenthood. What isn't more personal to me than that? When Misty first read this chapter, she was rolling and honestly I was too because writing Shigaraki and Touya together has been a definite highlight of this fic. Touya is especially great un to write. We'll slowly get to learn more about their history as more characters get involved, but it's one of those "bits and pieces here and there" sort of deals. Again, I want to thank everyone for their support, every kudos, read, and review. In honor of that, I figured I'd post another chapter this week, but the next one will be posted on Friday. I'm excited for that one because that's when Uraraka makes her appearance and, as everyone and their mom knows, I love writing about Uraraka.

Chapter Text

"A baby? Good lord. Well, you can safe-drop it at the fire station. Only make sure you hand it to someone - you can't just throw it in the bin out front. That's for canned goods and puppies."
-- Virginia Chance (Raising Hope, Pilot)

 


By the time Shigaraki finished with Naomasa, his phone had gone off at least five times. It was nearing nine, which meant that he was more than a little late for dinner. Not that Touya cared if he changed his mind about showing up or not, but the lack of a response would put him on edge. As much as they joked about it, both of them knew it was a very real possibility that one of them could get attacked. They’d made a lot of enemies as villains and more than a few people had been displeased about them getting released early.

Plus, there was the other thing neither one of them talked about: they had to keep each other in check, hold the other accountable, watch for one of them sliding back down that slippery slope. It irritated the hell out of him, but he knew it was true. They didn’t want to admit that lack of trust in each other, but it would be there. They knew what the other was like. Villainy had been easy. Being a good person was much harder.

The baby had shockingly fallen asleep in his arms. To be honest, Shigaraki hadn’t had much of a reason before, but this felt like a very strong motivation, even if he didn’t know exactly what it meant.

He didn’t check his phone until he got on the subway, sitting down in a corner away from other people. A few women gave him curious looks and even a smile or two, which confused him as he’d never gotten them before from complete strangers, but no one bothered him. Sitting made it easier for him to hold the kid in one hand and fish his phone out of his pocket. Sure enough, there were two missed calls and five text messages.

You’re late asshole.

Coming or what?

I’m gonna eat all the food and leave you nothing.

Where the fuck are you seriously?

Answer me you dickhead. You better not be dead in a ditch or doing something stupid.

Shigaraki ran a gloved hand over the baby’s soft head and sunk further in the seat, tilting his head back. Oh yeah, he was doing something very stupid. The last thing he needed in his life was a fucking baby and yet here he was. He sent a simple text ( omw ) without any explanation and turned his phone on silent. It would piss Touya off, but it would give him peace of mind that Shigaraki was both alive and hadn’t committed any crimes. He would know better than to show his face around Fuyumi’s place if he had.

By the grace of whatever good was left in the world, the kid stayed asleep the whole train ride. When he got off and started walking for the apartment, it started to wake up, crying and squirming in his arms. He didn’t know what to do. He was certain people on the street would start staring at him and accusing him of hurting it, but no one batted an eye at him. A crying baby wasn’t anything of note. Babies cried all the time. It was what they did. He somehow managed to get it to stop once he reached the building, but desperation had started to build up inside of him.

He’d made a stupid, foolish mistake. He should’ve given the baby away. He should’ve handed her off. What was he doing? What did he think he could do? Why the hell was he here? Honestly, maybe it was because he had no idea where else to go. He had no one else to go to and talk to about this. It wasn’t like he could call up Kurogiri and ask for parenting tips - see what he did whenever Shigaraki threw a fit as a kid. Thank everything the baby didn’t seem to have a quirk yet. He could only imagine how much of a terror he had been with his destructive decay quirk. He had probably disintegrated stuff whenever he was mad.

After awkwardly shifting the baby in his arm, which was starting to fall asleep, Shigaraki banged on the door. There was shuffling on the other side and a man’s grouchy voice, “There isn’t anything left,” before it was ripped open and he was met with an irritated Touya Todoroki. “Dude, where the--?”

“I think this thing is hungry, but I don’t know what it eats,” Shigaraki interrupted, blurting out the first words that came to mind and holding the baby out underneath its arms.

Touya’s bright blue eyes almost bugged out of his head. “What the fuck? Why do you have a baby?” He actually paled and took a step back as he gawked in absolute shock; as if he’d never seen a kid before. “Did you steal a fucking baby?”

“What?” Shigaraki pulled her back to his chest and gave him an indignant glare. “No, I didn’t steal a baby, you idiot!”

“Then where did you get one?” Touya demanded. “It’s not like you can just pick one up off the street.” He leaned to the side to peer at it closer and then caught sight of the duffle bag. “Did you?”

“She’s mine,” Shigaraki pointed out, pushing Touya aside and shoving his way inside. He was so stunned he didn’t even fight back, allowing himself to get knocked into the wall and turning to stare at him. Shigaraki paused and then walked back to the door so he could take his shoes off before Fuyumi could get onto him.

Touya narrowed his eyes. “Since when do you have a kid? Last time I checked, you didn’t have one and it’s not like you’re with anyone.”

“Remember that woman from the bar?” Shigaraki prompted. Touya gave him a vacant look, which meant he did not, in fact, remember her. It wasn’t surprising. It had been before he’d gotten out of prison, so he’d been told about it a month after it happened. He didn’t even know why he told him, except to maybe prove that he didn’t just hole himself up in his apartment playing video games. “Himura?”

“Oh, shit, yeah.” Touya looked in the hallway, as if checking to see if she had come with him, shutting the door once he confirmed that Shigaraki was alone. “Wow, that’s…” He snorted. “You got a one night stand pregnant. That is some shit luck.”

“I got a villain pregnant,” Shigaraki grumbled in correction.

Touya stared at him. “What?”

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose. “Turns out she might be a serial killer. She popped up after I got off work, handed me the baby, and asked if I could watch her while she took out the cop chasing after her and his family.”

“What the…?” Touya continued to stare until he abruptly burst into laughter.

It was wholly inappropriate and it made Shigaraki scowl furiously, especially since it was loud enough to startle the baby into crying again. Touya was not a laugher. Maybe he chuckled or snorted, smirked and grinned, but he didn’t laugh. It wasn’t in his nature. His mood usually ranged from bored indifference to volatile anger or vaguely amused disdain. Shigaraki wasn’t one either, but definitely not right now. It wasn’t funny.

It wasn’t fucking funny at all.

“Holy shit, that’s even worse. You manage to get laid - and you impregnate a villain. I’m fucking… I can’t believe this. I can’t.” Touya turned away, still laughing and pressing a hand against his head. “I can’t deal with this right now. Fuyumi, come meet Shigaraki’s daughter!”

There was a loud crash from the kitchen, sounding as if someone had knocked a bunch of pots and glasses in the sink. When Fuyumi poked out her head, there was a confused look on her face. “His wha-?” She hadn’t even finished when her eyes landed on the baby in question and she slammed a hand to her mouth to keep from shrieking. Once she contained herself, she pulled her hand away. “What are you doing with a baby?”

“I don’t know,” Shigaraki replied, tired of the questions already.

“Why did you come here?” Touya asked, having managed to regain control of himself. He kept a few paces back, almost like he was afraid that getting too close to the baby would make the world spontaneously produce a child for him as well.

I don’t know ,” Shigaraki snapped, a hint of desperation in his voice. The truth was he didn’t have anywhere else to go. Well, he could’ve just gone straight home to his shitty apartment, but the idea of being alone right now with this thing terrified him. He’d made a huge mistake. He didn’t know anything about babies. How did he expect to take care of it? Himura had to have known he didn’t know how to keep a baby alive, much less take care of one and raise it.

Maybe that was the point. It wasn’t like she’d cared all that much. Honestly, now that he thought about it, he was kind of surprised she’d kept it up for this long. He peered at the baby in his hands as it started to cry. Judging from when they had hooked up and the very limited knowledge he had about pregnancy, the baby had to be around three months old.

It was still new.

“I think it’s hungry and I don’t know what to do,” Shigaraki said as its cries grew louder.

“It.” Fuyumi walked fully into the room. Seeing how uncomfortable he was, she held out her hands and Shigaraki graciously handed the baby over to her and let out a sigh. It couldn’t have weighed more than thirteen pounds, but the weight of responsibility that parenthood tacked onto him was heavier than leading the League. “This is a baby girl, not an ‘it’. What’s her name?”

Shigaraki thought back to what Himura had told him, although his brain was still firing rapidly to process everything that had happened. “Apparently it’s Princess.”

Touya burst into laughter again as he practically wheezed, “ Princess ? Princess Shigaraki. Are you trying to kill me?”

Fuyumi attempted to be much kinder, mumbling, “Oh, that’s a...nice...name…” but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t as good of a liar as her twin brother, but he wasn’t even trying right now.

“Don’t bother lying,” Shigaraki told her. “It’s a stupid name. I’m gonna change it.”

“To what ?” Touya asked between laughing and trying to breathe.

Shigaraki shot him a disdainful glower. “I don’t know, but I’m certainly not going to ask for your help, Dabi .”

The asshole didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed or embarrassed by his edgelord nature, but Fuyumi did it for him, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath through her nose. Apparently, it had been something that she had suffered with throughout their childhood, prior to him running off to fake his death and become a petty criminal.

Shigaraki turned to look back at his daughter, Touya snorting behind him. “What do babies eat?”

“Well, she looks too young to eat baby food,” Fuyumi said, carrying the baby into the kitchen. Shigaraki followed her without question. “She needs formula.”

Maybe he had come here because, out of everyone he knew - and to be fair, he didn’t know or trust many people at all - he figured they would know something about babies. After all, they had two younger siblings and he knew Endeavor hadn’t exactly been father of the year material. Even if Touya had avoided responsibilities, Fuyumi not only worked with kids but had helped raise her little brothers. Too young for baby food? What did she eat then?

An idea popped into his head. “Maybe-” He grabbed the duffel bag and felt something in it. He’d thought Himura was just using it to carry the baby. It was certainly inventive but even he knew it wasn’t exactly safe so he hadn’t been about to put it back in there. He dumped everything in the bag on the counter. It wasn’t much: two diapers, a small bag of wipes, a few more clothing items (none of which looked like they were the right size even to him), a bottle filled with some white liquid, and an early empty can containing what looked like cocaine. He picked up the bottle. “You think this is good?”

“We should probably heat it up,” Fuyumi said, taking the bottle from him. How she was able to hold the baby and the bottle like it was simple was a little beyond him. She put it in the microwave for about fifteen seconds, tested the temperature, and then tilted it for the baby. Its cries immediately stopped as it latched onto the bottle and she even reached up as if to hold it. “There, that’s better. You were just hungry, weren’t you, little one?”

“You sure feeding it that is a good idea?” Touya asked from the living room.

Fuyumi frowned. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Come check it out for yourself,” Touya replied cryptically. Fuyumi and Shigaraki glanced at each other and then walked out of the kitchen. They found Touya standing in front of the television, his eyes on the screen until he turned to look up at him. He arched an eyebrow. “You made the news again.”

Shigaraki twisted his lips and moved to stand next to Touya so he could look at the television as well. It was much nicer than the one he owned. He had little time to think about that when he spotted cell phone camera footage showing the two pro heroes easily capturing a thrashing Himura. In the background was Shigaraki, who looked parts awkward, irritated, and confused while he very obviously held the baby incorrectly.

“According to the news, she’s wanted for at least thirty counts of murder,” Touya informed them. He looked back at the baby in Fuyumi’s arms. “Multiple MO’s, which is why it took a while to connect them, but a few of them were poison.” He shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just saying: I’m not sure I’d trust what a serial killer packed for a baby.”

Cringing, Fuyumi took the bottle away. Shigaraki was certain it would start crying again, but apparently what little it did drink was enough to make it content. He didn’t think the drink or cocaine-looking baby formula was laced with anything, but Touya had a point.

Taking the bottle from Fuyumi, he walked into the kitchen, unscrewed the cap, and dumped it all down the sink. For good measure, he stepped on the lever to open up the trash can and took one of his gloves off. It only took a matter of seconds to destroy the bottle before he turned the can of formula to ash as well. He pulled his foot off the lever and the lid fell back down. He stared down at it. Now he really didn’t have anything, not even something to feed the baby with. Maybe it was melodramatic, but he wasn’t going to take any chances.

“What now?” Shigaraki asked, half to himself.

“Well you can’t keep it,” Touya said from the doorway.

Shigaraki turned around to face him. “So I give her away?”

“Yeah, safe-drop her off at the fire station or something,” Touya told him, shrugging his shoulders. “Pretty sure my dad wanted to do that with me, but you can’t safe-drop a five-year-old.”

“I’m not just abandoning her,” Shigaraki snarled furiously.

Touya didn’t even blink in the face of his anger. “So what? You’re gonna raise her?” He scoffed and folded his arms across his chest, leaning against the threshold. “You’re gonna be a dad? What the fuck do you know about that?”

“I’ll figure it out!” Shigaraki protested, even if Touya had a valid point. What did he know about being a father? It was even less than he knew about babies.

“Face it, Shigaraki,” Touya said, shaking his head. “You’re in over your head. You can barely take care of yourself. It’d be better if you gave that kid away. Save it the pain, the struggle, the embarrassment of having a former villain for a dad. Give her a chance.”

Was that what Touya would do in his place? If he had been handed a helpless baby and told it was his, would he just give them up? Save himself the trouble? Was he that selfish - or was he that scared and aware of his flaws? All of Shigaraki’s thoughts about fatherhood, unfortunately, revolved around All for One. There had been plenty of moments when he had been kind and supportive, but all of those “good” memories were tainted by the fact that he’d been lied to and used the entire time. Every warm gesture had held a dark ulterior motive.

Did he just want to keep her to prove he was different? That he was good and better? Was that using her too?

“No.” Shigaraki pulled his glove back on. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Your loss,” Touya said. He peered at the clock on the stove. “Luckily you don’t do shit, so you at least have money saved up, but babies aren’t cheap.”

Shigaraki knew that, but he didn’t at the same time. What all did he need? Where could he get it? Could he just do a google search: what do babies need to survive? There was a large chain store that was open all night. He could go there, get whatever he needed to make it through the week before he came up with more permanent solutions. He would figure it out. That was what he’d done before whenever faced with a problem. It might’ve taken him some time whenever he hit a dead end or was on the losing end, but he always found a way to survive.

Touya sighed and Shigaraki could immediately tell the change in his demeanor. He wasn’t mocking or cavalier; he was serious, even if he didn’t want to be right now. “Listen, some people aren’t going to like this one bit. I know you’re not who you used to be - and I know you wouldn’t have done anything bad to her even when you were a villain - but a lot of people are going to think you’ll hurt her.”

That cut Shigaraki a lot deeper than he expected, knocking the wind out of his chest. “I wouldn’t. I’m not... “ He wasn’t a monster anymore. Had he gone after kids before as a villain? U.A. kids were still different in his mind, but they had still been only fifteen and sixteen when he’d attacked the USJ and later on the Training Camp and so many other times. This was a baby though. She wasn’t even a half a year old.

“I know you won’t,” Touya said, “but I also know there are about a thousand ways a kid can get hurt or die.” He still didn’t talk about what happened during his childhood, but Shigaraki knew it had been dragged out and examined during his trial in excruciating detail. He had only been there for his testimony and was sent back to prison, but he’d heard a little about it. There was a good possibility that what his father had put him through could’ve killed him. “You won’t hurt her on purpose - I know that - but on accident?”

It was a risk he would have to take. It was one every parent had to take, even the good ones and the ones that had planned on having a kid.

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” Touya finished. “You know you’re being stupid, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” Shigaraki didn’t need to be told that. He definitely knew he was being stupid. It wasn’t that he was attached to her already or even the idea of being a father. It was just...this indescribable thing weighing on him that he couldn’t shake. “Thanks for the shitty pep talk.”

“There was a reason you were the leader and not me,” Touya pointed out.

The fact that Shigaraki had been the leader because he’d been picked and molded into one did not need to be said. Both of them had been groomed. The difference was that Touya had escaped, at least for the most part. Some things couldn’t be outrun. Like parenthood. He knew he could drop her off as Touya had suggested, but the fact would always be there, planted in the back of his mind like a bomb waiting to be detonated.

After shoving everything else back into the duffel bag, Shigaraki slung the strap over his shoulder and then paused. “I still need something for her to eat in case she gets all hungry and moody while I’m out.” At the time, it had seemed like the safest choice, but maybe he’d overreacted when he disintegrated the few baby things on him.

When Touya grinned and said, “I’ve got an idea,” Shigaraki frowned. He did not like the sound of that at all. Stepping further into the kitchen, Touya rummaged around under the sink, which he thought about pointing out was the last place they should search for baby food unless they were a serial killer. He found whatever he was looking for and then went to the fridge to pull out some milk.

The second Shigaraki figured out what he was doing, he almost choked. “You can’t be serious.”

“You don’t have a bottle,” Touya said, holding up a plastic glove filled with milk. “You gotta make one.” Shigaraki rubbed his face with a gloved hand, briefly giving himself the old comfort of the severed hand he’d once worn on his face. “Fuyumi used to do this whenever she found a baby animal when we were kids. You just poke a tiny hole in one of the fingers.” This was a baby human, not an animal. “If you don’t want it-”

“No, I’ll take it,” Shigaraki cut in, snatching the glove out of Touya’s hand. He put it in the duffel bag too. He had a feeling that Fuyumi would only get worried if she saw how desperate he was. With that taken care of, he walked out into the living room where Fuyumi was pacing with the baby. When he held out his hands, she gave him the baby without any hesitation. The little ball of pudge was his, after all. “I’ve got to go. I need to get some things before I go back home.” He huffed. “Good thing I’m off work tomorrow. I need to call and find out what I can do. It’s not like I can bring a baby to work.”

“Call to see if they have anything like paternity leave,” Fuyumi suggested. She bit her lip. “Did you want to leave her here while you…?”

Shigaraki shook his head. “No, I’ve intruded enough. I just want to get the stuff and go home.”

“I can’t believe you’re already offering to babysit,” Touya complained. “If she gets baby fever, I’m blaming you.”

“Touya!” Fuyumi exclaimed and smacked him on the arm, blush tinging her cheeks.

“You’re just worried because if she settles down and starts a family you’ll have to mooch off someone else,” Shigaraki shot back.

Neither one of them wasted time on goodbyes. He’d never cared about them before and, seeing as how he’d left his family without saying a word, Touya wasn’t big on them either. He left without saying anything else, trying to hold the baby the way Fuyumi had, his mind already focused on what he needed, which was a lot. Maybe he could get the essentials tonight and the other stuff tomorrow. He’d figure it out as he went.

*

“Well, that’s a hot fucking mess,” Touya declared as he collapsed on the couch the second the door slammed shut. He sunk in the couch, his arms on the back and tilting his face towards the ceiling. “And that is why you always wrap it before you tap it.”

Fuyumi stood in front of him, hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face. “Touya.”

He determinedly did not look at her and kept his gaze on the television, which was still talking more about the arrest. Shigaraki wasn’t mentioned by name, only labeled as a “concerned citizen who called in the tip,” which made Touya snort. Fuyumi stared him down. He refused to look at her for thirty more seconds until finally he caved and let his impassive gaze flicker up to her. “What?”

“You know what,” Fuyumi retorted.

“No way.” Touya shook his head. “I’m not getting involved any more than I already am.”

“Seriously?” Fuyumi said. “You’re just going to let him do this on his own?”

“I’m not here to babysit him,” Touya replied. “He’s a grown, free man. He can make his own stupid ass decisions. I told him what he should do. He didn’t want to listen. My conscience is clear.”

That didn’t deter Fuyumi, who proclaimed, “You’re lying,” which made him scowl. Most people didn’t realize how difficult she could be. However, out of all of them, she had stayed home to help take care of Shouto. She had learned to deal with their father the best. She might not have always liked him or even gotten along with him, but her desire for a family was how Touya found himself living with her today.

“Okay, fine,” Touya huffed, dragging himself back to his feet. “I’ll follow him and make sure he doesn’t accidentally drop the baby or something.” He pointed a finger at her. “But I am not helping. I’m just there as back up.”

Fuyumi smiled. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, fucking whatever,” Touya grumbled as he pulled on a jacket and slunk out of the apartment. Shigaraki would go to the nearest chain store most likely. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what he’d try to do.

This was stupid. They were all stupid. Touya should just stay as far away from this as possible, but he had known, the second he’d seen that stubborn glint in Shigaraki’s eyes and anger he’d displayed over safe dropping the baby, he was stuck in this too. Fuyumi loved kids. It was part of the reason why she worked with them. She’d want to help, which meant he would be stupid helping whether he wanted to or not and he most decidedly did not want to. He was doing the bare minimum as it was. Tacking on a kid sounded like a terrible idea. Shigaraki had to know that.

So then why the hell was he doing this?

Chapter 3: a pro hero, a reformed villain, and a baby

Notes:

Once again, thank you to Mistystarshine, for beta'ing this fic. I mean, I did start writing this for her, but it's definitely for me too and one of my favorite things to write. I was so excited to get to this chapter. I think I wrote this one and the next in almost one sitting because I had so much fun. If you couldn't tell by my BNHA fanfics, I love Uraraka and I love to write about her even more. Is this crack? Yes, but it's fun and I stand by it. Also, Uraraka is SHOOKETH. I mean, can you blame her? By the end of this chapter though, Shigaraki isn't in much better shape.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Sir, who's baby is that?"

-- Sabrina (Pilot)

 

Night patrols weren’t Uraraka’s favorite things, but she’d switched over to second shift on request of Ruyuku. Luckily her shift was almost over and she could go home and relax in a nice hot bubble bath. She couldn’t wait to soak in there and rest her feet. She really needed to figure out how to make her boots more comfortable. They were meant to help her with landings, jumps, and directing her when she was floating in the air.

Things had been quiet recently, which meant a lot of walking around. All she’d done tonight was stop a purse snatcher. That hadn’t been very exciting. That was a good thing, of course. Less crime meant that pro heroes were doing their job of deterring criminals. She had almost been a part of the team that had been called in after a tip about a wanted serial killer came over the radio, but she’d been too busy stuck berating the purse snatcher. Now that would’ve been crazy.

Uraraka sighed. She really shouldn’t wish for things like that. Being a hero wasn’t about doing exciting things. It was about protecting people. She knew that. She loved her job. She loved helping people and stopping villains. It’d be nice if she could do more than walk old ladies across the street or save kids’ cats from trees. That was a part of being a hero though. There was a reason she was one of the more beloved pro heroes. Heroes like Deku, Ground Zero, and Shouto might’ve been more popular, but she got asked for her autograph more than the latter two.

Being a hero meant being approachable, after all. They’d gotten better, but there would always be that wall between them and the public that she and Deku kept transparent.

Surveying the crowd, Uraraka tried to keep an eye on anything suspicious. The man awkwardly carrying a baby wasn’t all that interesting. Poor guy had probably been left alone with the baby for the first time while the mom was out doing something or at work. And then her brain caught up with her eyes and she snapped back in that direction. At first, she thought for sure her eyes were playing tricks on her - there was no way she was seeing this right - but then no, there was no denying it was him.

His hair was shorter, he was wearing what looked like a uniform for some retail store, and there weren’t any severed hands protectively holding onto him - but that was Tomura Shigaraki, former leader of the League of Villains, pushing his way through the crowd and carrying a baby as awkwardly as possible. He looked stressed enough that he might snap at any second or maybe stop walking and give up entirely.

Uraraka’s mind exploded with possibilities. It had been years since she’d seen him in person. There was the program on television that documented the rise and fall of the League, the attempted documentaries on his life that petered out after he got out of prison and faded into non-existence, but that was it. The last time she’d seen him had been at his trial and he’d just looked...done with everything. It had been sad, seeing someone fall so hard, even if he was a villain. She hadn’t even realized he lived in this area. She’d moved back only a few months ago after working up north. Maybe she should’ve checked to see if any of the former villains that had tried to kill her were out on parole in her area, but she hadn’t thought of him in so long.

Seeing him now, especially with a baby, was a bit like falling into a dream. It didn’t feel real.

“Uravity?” her partner prompted. He was young, a second-year U.A. student on one of his many internships. She’d worked with him since he started, but for a few seconds, she couldn’t think of his name. All she could focus on was the fact that a face from her past was back, someone who had once been a nightmare but now looked like a regular citizen and frazzled father.

Uraraka blinked out of her shocked state. Father? Was the baby his? Whose else would it be? Why would he be carrying around a baby if it wasn’t his? Had he kidnapped it?

“You go on ahead of me back to the office,” Uraraka told the intern.

“Uh, are you-?”

“Everything’s fine.” Uraraka smiled at the kid. “I just saw someone I used to know.”

Luckily, the kid didn’t argue with her. She knew how bored he was. If she was thinking about how slow things had been, then she knew he felt like things were dragging. He didn’t know how lucky he was. She couldn’t even spend time at U.A. without worrying about getting attacked by villains. Shigaraki had never personally gone after her, but she had crossed paths with him once when she was eighteen. It was during one of the last explosive fights between the League and the pros before they were officially taken down.

Uraraka crossed the street and hopped onto the sidewalk a few meters behind Shigaraki. He seemed to be muttering to himself or maybe the baby, which was squirming in his hands. For some reason, she couldn’t help but notice the gloves that he was wearing. At first, she was confused since it wasn’t cold enough for gloves, but then she realized it had to do with his quirk. After all, she still wore mittens whenever she slept to ensure she didn’t activate her quirk on herself or anything she touched.

Popping up on him might not have been a good idea, but she had to check, just to be sure. Uraraka wanted to believe that he wasn’t a villain anymore. He’d been out for nearly two years now, if her memory served her right. Deku kept much more up to date on their former adversaries and had called to talk to her about it. She hadn’t heard anything about him since. He’d kept his head down and his hands out of anything dirty apparently. No news was better than any news sometimes.

Seeing him now just made her feel confused. Uraraka wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel about him. It was one thing to say that she believed in villain reformation, but it was quite another to see someone who had nearly killed her friends walking around doing something so average and bland.

He wasn’t the only one of course, so she at least had a little experience in this. There was Dabi-- No, he went by Touya now. In any case, Todoroki’s oldest brother was out on parole as well and back in his life. Uraraka had met him a few times, all of them unusual, but he didn’t seem like anything other than a moody and slacker older brother. It was weird.

This was weird now, but Uraraka wouldn’t be able to let this go until she confronted him. Talked with him. Made sure things were okay. He really did look like he was struggling. What kind of hero would she be if she didn’t reach out if he needed help? Wasn’t that what had turned him away from heroes in the first place? Society had seen him in trouble and it had turned its back on him.

Uraraka couldn’t do that. She’d extend a hand, even if it was to a former enemy. She would be better.

*

For what felt like the hundredth time, Shigaraki adjusted the baby in his arms. One thing was for sure: he was going to have to find a different way to transport her. She wasn’t heavy by any means, but continuously carrying ten pounds was troublesome and starting to move beyond hurting. The longer he held her, the more the duffel bag began to look like an appealing option. He was starting to see why Himura had resorted to carrying her in it. Still, there had to be a better way. Weren't there like baby backpack things? What about strollers? He supposed those things held a person back when they were on the run from the law.

A few minutes later, he paused again, moving the baby awkwardly against his chest and into his arm that wasn’t completely numb, when an oddly familiar voice called from behind, “Um, Shigaraki?”

He spun around, the fingers of his free hand held in a defensive stance despite the fact that the gloves he wore made his quirk useless, only to freeze on the spot when he saw who was standing before him. It was like getting smacked in the face by his past. It wasn’t pleasant, even if the young hero was wearing a deceptively warm but obviously concerned expression on her face.

Uravity. Standing in front of Shigaraki, in all the glory of her costume, was the pro hero Uravity, also known as Ochako Uraraka. She might not have been at the top of his list of priorities back in the day, but her closeness with Midoriya and Toga’s obsession with both of them had made her a noticeable figure. It was weird as hell seeing her now. A part of him immediately thought back to the days when she was a U.A. student, but now she was a pro hero and a grown woman at that. She still had a girlish look about her that many people would consider cute, if only because of the pink spots on her cheeks, but he’d faced her once before.

She had not been cute then.

Her eyes flickered to the baby in his arms and he immediately blurted, “It’s not what it looks like.” She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but said nothing in response, which made him realize that he didn’t even know what she thought this looked like. The first thing to pop into his head had been Touya’s warning about people thinking he might harm the baby and he’d panicked. “She’s mine - my daughter.”

Uraraka peered closer at the baby, probably taking note of her red eyes. “She’s adorable.” She looked back up at him, chewing on her bottom lip and obviously feeling awkward. He fought back a sigh. Even if she was trying to figure out what to say, he could tell what she was thinking. She didn’t trust him with a baby. Once a villain, always a villain, right? She’d never be able to look at him any different way - and for good reason. He honestly didn’t blame her, but it was still frustrating. “I couldn’t help but notice how...uncomfortable you look.”

“Uncomfortable?” Shigaraki deadpanned. That obviously wasn’t the word she’d been thinking.

“Clueless?” Uraraka offered. He snorted. That was much better. “You, uh...don’t look like you…”

“Like I don't know what I’m doing?”

For some reason, that made Uraraka flush a little. “I wasn’t going to say that.” She twisted her lips in thought. “But, I guess, if I’m being honest - you don’t. You look really stressed out.” Why was she here? Why was she talking to him? He didn’t have time for this. “Are you okay?”

“Does it really matter to you?” Shigaraki asked. She opened her mouth to protest, but before she could get a word out, he cut in, “Look; get to the point, will you? I’ve somehow got to figure out all the stuff I need to buy for a baby tonight using Google on my shitty cell. I just found out I was a dad like two hours ago so I’m a bit busy. Ask if the baby is safe with me and then move on.”

Uraraka gawked at him, likely caught off guard by his snappish response. Most people probably assumed he tried to be less aggressive so that no one would see him as a threat. While he didn’t get into fights and kept his nose out of people’s business, nothing in this world could ever make him soft. He was too rough around the edges, too sharp from all the times he’d broken, and not even prison and therapy could fix that. He’d have to try around the kid, but with other people, even heroes he knew he should watch himself around, he didn’t bother. Might as well be honest.

The surprised look on Uravity's face transformed into a much different expression: consternation, like she was about to rip him a new one. She was still concerned, but she wasn’t going to be delicate about it. This wasn’t someone who he could push over or shove aside with a few brusque statements. If there was one thing he had learned in his time as a villain, it was that all good heroes were stubborn as hell. They had to be in order to do their jobs. When he’d been a villain, that had pissed him off; as an average citizen, it was irritating.

“Alright then, if you want to act like an ass, be my guest,” Uraraka shot back at him. Now it was his turn to gawk. Okay, the time to be nice was over. “The last time I saw you was when you were being sentenced for trying to kill All Might, along with an assortment of other terrible crimes, so of course I’m going to be concerned when you show up holding a baby like you’ve never held one before.”

“I haven’t held one before!” Shigaraki burst out in frustration.

“Then why are you?” Uraraka demanded.

“Because apparently I have utter shit taste in women since the first person I hooked up with showed up at my job tonight to announce that I was a father and she was a serial killer in need of a babysitter so she could keep up the murder spree, and I wasn’t going to let a kid with my blood get dragged into that hell!”

She definitely hadn’t expected him to be that honest, but more importantly, judging from the flabbergasted look on her face - eyes wide, eyebrows raised, mouth open - she hadn’t expected to hear that either. He had known it was utterly ridiculous, but now that he’d said it out loud, he kind of understood why he was doing this. He was a father and part of being a father meant protecting his child. Himura was a dangerous threat, but worse than that, there was a high possibility she would make his daughter fall victim to the same manipulation he had.

He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t let the cycle continue. He had to prove that his blood wasn’t poison.

“You’re a dad,” Uraraka said, half to herself. “That’s really your kid.”

“You think I just decided to pick up a baby for fun when I have no idea what I’m doing?” Shigaraki questioned, feeling worn out. It was another few hours before he usually went to bed, but this night had been a rollercoaster and he had a bad feeling that he wasn’t going to get to sleep any time soon. Babies followed worse sleep schedules than he did.

“What are you going to do?” Uraraka asked.

Shigaraki moved the baby to his other arm. “To hell if I know.” That was about as good of an answer as she was going to get, if only because he didn’t know what else to say. “Look, I know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t kidnap a baby so I can hold them for ransom and I’m not going to hurt it. I just need to go to the store and figure out what I need to survive the night.”

“You don’t have anyone to help you?”

That made Shigaraki snort. “Let’s just say my few acquaintances don’t have much in the way of parenting instincts.”

Uraraka frowned, her eyes focused on the baby. “Do you even have anything for her to eat while you shop?”

“Oh yeah, I’ve got that covered for now.” Shigaraki dug around in the duffel bag and produced the glove filled with milk. So far, he hadn’t needed use of it, which he was grateful for. He’d probably just make a mess. “I kind of had to destroy the bottle and formula in cases it was poisoned or something. Trusting a serial killer seemed like a bad idea.”

“You…” Uraraka snatched the milk-filled glove out of his hand. “You can’t give a baby this milk. They need formula. It has all the nutrients they need. This could make her sick.”

Shigaraki stared at her. “But babies drink milk.” She tossed the milk glove into a trashcan in an alley a few feet away. “Hey!”

“You have absolutely no clue what you’re doing, do you.” Uraraka wasn’t asking him. She knew he didn’t and so did he. If babies couldn’t drink milk, then what did they drink? It must have been some combination of that powder and water. All he had to do was find the same can and he’d be set. It was just powder. It couldn’t be that difficult. Could it? He knew Touya’s idea was terrible from the start. While he thought, Uraraka pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay. Okay, okay. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

He didn’t have time for this. Who knew how long he had before this baby turned into a wailing monster? All he could do was pray it didn’t have some sort of voice quirk like the pro hero Present Mic. Then he’d really be screwed. He should probably find out what kind of quirk Himura had, just in case. It wouldn’t hurt to be prepared. If his parents had been, then maybe..

Shigaraki took a deep breath, pulling himself out of the thought train he’d been about to board. “Listen, it’s been great catching up and I’m sure you can’t wait to tell your old classmates about this, but-”

“My patrol ends in like ten minutes.”

“Huh?”

Uraraka pulled her hand away from her face and looked up at him. “My agency is right around the corner. Could you just wait there while I change? I’ll let the people up front know so they don’t think you’re some creep loitering outside the premises.”

“What are you talking about? Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m gonna help you, duh,” Uraraka told him.

Shigaraki blinked. She was going to what? Had he fallen into an alternate dimension? Died and gone to some weird purgatory? None of this made sense. When he got up for work today, nothing had prepared him for what his night would become. He’d woken up a single slacker and ended the day a single dad. And now this? Uravity, a hero he might have tried to kill when she was a teenager, was offering to help him?

“I don’t need your help,” Shigaraki finally said, unable to help himself.

“Yeah, you really do,” Uraraka replied. “If it bothers you that much to accept any help, just think of it as me helping your daughter. Do you know anything about babies? What kind of formula she needs, bottles, diapers, wipes, clothes? How they sleep? How many times you need to feed her and how much? How to give her a bath? How to change her diaper?”

“Okay, I get it!” Shigaraki exclaimed, his mind spinning with every question she tacked on. No, he didn’t know any of that. He’d just figured it couldn’t be insanely difficult and a combination of Google and YouTube would get him through it. His therapist was going to have a field day with this. Knowing his luck, the man would suggest giving her up as well. They wanted him to improve his life, but this might be too much for him to handle.

(It was. This was way too much. He’d taken on responsibilities before though. This was just a different kind.)

“I mean, I don’t have a baby and only one of my friends does, but I babysat a lot when I was younger,” Uraraka said thoughtfully. “It’s a good gig for a kid.”

That was more experience than he had. “You’re seriously going to help me.”

When Uraraka smiled, it didn’t look fake, which made him more suspicious. “Yeah, I love babies!” It kind of looked like she was laughing, but she managed to stop herself. “Plus, you look super lost, but if you’re really serious about taking care of your kid that you just found out about tonight, then I want to help.”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re just doing this because ‘it’s what a hero would do’ , aren’t you?”

“Can’t I help people because I want to help them?” Uraraka asked.

“In my experience, no one ever does that,” Shigaraki pointed out flatly. People didn’t help others because they were selfish human beings who didn’t want that kind of responsibility. They always assumed others would take care of it. If they did help someone, they had ulterior motives. No one was this kind. No one. “Besides, shouldn’t you hate me and think I’m just biding my time to turn back into a villain? That’s what everyone else figures whenever they find out who I am.”

“Maybe,” Uraraka admitted, “but right now, you’re a single father in need.” She played with the baby’s hand, letting her wrap her tiny fingers around one of her own. “It is hard to believe you’re not bad. I mean, how many times did you and the League attack us?” A lot. There had been a lot of times before they’d begun to dissolve into something else that he couldn’t explain himself. “I have to believe you were able to reform. Otherwise there isn’t hope for anyone - not even an innocent baby.”

Would people think her so innocent if they knew who her parents were? Shigaraki had had good parents though. He couldn’t remember them really, their faces reduced to ash in his memories, but they hadn’t been bad people. He’d still turned out to have sour blood.

“That’s some optimistic bullshit,” Shigaraki decided.

Uraraka shrugged. “It’s either I believe that or I believe you’re going to raise the kid into a villain.”

This time, it was his turn to be taken aback by her bluntness. He wasn’t going to do that. He couldn’t say that he was going to raise her to be the best person, but he had to believe that he could, if not raise her right, at least try. If he really struggled, if it became more about him than her, then he would give her to a family that could give her more. First, he had to at least try. She was his daughter.

What the hell was wrong with him?

What was wrong with her for offering to help him?

“You don’t have to do this,” Shigaraki sighed.

“I know,” Uraraka replied, “but I want to. Maybe it is because it’s what a hero would do, but-- Well, if you’re trying to become better and do right by your kid, I should do the same for you.”

Shigaraki shook his head. “Ugh, all you heroes are so damn cheesy.”

“It’s in the job description,” Uraraka joked. Even her jokes were lame, but they couldn’t be any worse than Touya’s. His sense of humor was so terrible that it sometimes made Shigaraki want to roll his eyes right out of his head. “So just wait for me right outside, okay? I might not know everything, but I know enough to help out. It won’t take me long to change.”

“You sure?” Shigaraki asked blandly. “I don’t think that suit could be any tighter.”

Uraraka blushed again and gave him a look that suggested she wanted to slap him upside the head. It wasn’t like he was looking, but all hero costumes were like that, even most men’s. How could they breathe in outfits like that? It didn’t seem reasonable. Who looked at a tight ass costume like that and thought it was suited to take down dangerous villains?

“Just…” Uraraka shook her head. He could hear exactly what she was thinking: that she was crazy for doing this, this situation was ridiculous, it could be a trap, or any assortment of things suggesting that it was anything but what it was. After all, what was crazier than helping a former enemy buy baby things? Shigaraki wanted to melt on the spot. This sort of mortification might be more painful than prison, which was saying something, since he’d been shanked. “I’ll be right back.”

Shigaraki couldn’t respond. If he opened his mouth, he was pretty sure an insult would come out and then she really would slap him hard enough to send him flying into space.

Uraraka was a few steps away when she stopped and turned back around. “Oh, I forgot. What’s her name?”

He thought back to Touya’s reaction and answered, “To be determined.”

“That’s a funny name,” Uraraka said. He knew it was another joke, but it still made him want to bang his head against the wall. He was going to have to think of something sooner or later. He couldn’t keep thinking of the baby as “it” or “wiggly thing”. Under no circumstances was he going to call her “Princess”. He didn’t have high standards (apparently, since the first and only time he attempted a sort-of relationship ended up being with a serial killer), but he wasn’t going to stoop that low. Maybe he’d refer to her as Zelda until he came up with a better solution.

She pointed at him, reminding him to wait for her, and then bolted in the direction of her agency. As he watched her go, he felt adrift and too lost to do anything. A part of him wanted to leave - totally ditch her and do this himself, like everything else he’d done - but he knew he needed the help. The baby started crying again. Was she hungry? She was probably uncomfortable. Grumbling under his breath, he put a palm over the back of her head and dragged himself in the direction of the hero agency Uravity worked at, which turned out to be the Dragon Hero’s.

This was the weirdest night of his life - and that was saying something.

Notes:

Please keep in mind that Touya witnessed this entire thing and chose to just be like LOL BYE GOOD LUCK SHIGARAKI and left his ass. Lmao

Chapter 4: What the hell does a baby need?

Notes:

I asked my cousin what she was thinking when she went shopping for my baby shower and that's how I came up with the title. So it's super realistic. lmao I went through this exact thing. I feel Shigaraki in my soul.

Chapter Text

"Okay. Well, um, the book I have says I should feed her vegetables and I want to do that, but the only vegetable jars I found have pictures of either black babies or Asian babies on them, and I don't know if the pictures are random, you know, or if there's a reason Asian babies instead of white ones should eat these particular string beans?"

-- Jimmy Chance (Pilot)

 

Uraraka felt like she’d tripped into an alternate universe and her only consolation was the fact that Shigaraki probably felt even worse. After all, he was the one who’d had fatherhood plopped in his lap a few hours ago. The moment he had exploded with the truth of what was going on, she’d connected the dots. The serial killer that had been captured earlier tonight and made the news - he was the one who called the police and heroes on her. He’d essentially helped take down a villain.

Was this a really weird dream? Sure, the subconscious could think up some pretty convoluted things, but this was really out there. She knew this had to be real because there was no way, not in a million years, that her subconscious would come up with the idea of baby shopping with Tomura Shigaraki.

As Uraraka struggled to hastily change out of her costume (okay, so he might’ve had a point when he brought up how tight her suit was), there was a knock on the door and the U.A. student intern from earlier piped up, “Um, Uravity? There’s a guy loitering outside with a baby that says he’s waiting for you?”

“Yeah, he’s with me!” Uraraka called out.

“Okay,” the intern replied, still sounding incredibly unsure. “I was just checking. He looks kind of...sketchy.”

Uraraka almost burst into laughter and barely managed to change it into a snort. Sketchy. This kid didn’t know the half of it. She didn’t blame him for not recognizing Shigaraki. She almost hadn’t. It turned out that a haircut, ugly video game store uniform, and a baby was a really good disguise. Sketchy might not even begin to cover it, but judging by her brief conversation with him, he definitely wasn’t the same. Still grouchy as hell and very touchy (for lack of a better word), but she didn’t think anything would change that.

For a brief moment, she hesitated with her phone in her hand. Her finger hovered over Deku’s name as she tried to think of what to do. Should she text him? Call him? Should she let him know? Out of everyone, he and Shigaraki had crossed paths and clashed the most. Shigaraki had nearly killed him multiple times and put his name on a kill list when they were only first years. He’d sworn to take Deku down and had almost succeeded a few times.

Deku had also been one of Shigaraki’s supporters in deciding what kind of sentence he would receive. While some people had believed he deserved a life sentence - and many still did - Deku hadn’t. She could still remember the openly stunned look on Shigaraki’s face when Deku had spoken during the sentencing hearing. Their relationship, whatever it was, if there was one, was complicated to say the least.

Later, Uraraka decided, sliding her cell in her back pocket. She’d text Deku later.

Once she had changed into jeans and a blouse, Uraraka stuffed her hero costume into her work locker, grabbed her bag, and rushed out of the locker room. She was somewhat worried that Shigaraki would leave if she took too long. She’d already worried he might not even wait, but the intern had confirmed he dod, so there was that. The intern was sitting down at a desk, eyeing her curiously, when she waved at him as she left the office. No time to explain. Not that she wanted to. It would further complicate things when it was already complicated enough.

When she walked out of the building, she immediately spotted Shigaraki trying to bounce and comfort the crying baby in his arms. For some reason, the sight made her smile. Not only was it utterly domestic, but it was made even more entertaining by the fact that he looked so lost. His brow was furrowed and his red eyes alarmed as he muttered to the baby under his breath. Whatever he was saying was not working.

Doing her best to get rid of the smile, Uraraka made her way over to him. “Hey, sorry that took so long.”

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Shigaraki huffed out when he spotted her. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her. She’s been crying for ten minutes straight. People are gonna think I’m hurting her. I don’t know what to do.”

Uraraka put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing or smiling again. “Babies cry all the time. No one is going to think that.”

Shigaraki gave her a flat look. “You know who I am and some of these people might as well. You thought it, didn’t you?” She bit her lip. Okay, maybe she had worried about it for a second, but she didn’t believe he would now . To be honest, she felt kind of ashamed for thinking it in the first place. He very clearly wanted to do good and didn’t have any clue how to go about it whatsoever. He sighed. “That’s what I thought. This was stupid. I’m going-”

“No, wait!” Uraraka jumped forward when he started to walk away but didn’t reach out to touch him. She wouldn’t activate her quirk on him, but she had a feeling he would react poorly to anyone grabbing him. She knew that she always jerked back when people did the same with her. People who went through what they had, especially with hand-related quirks like theirs, didn’t like being grabbed. He stopped and glanced at her, which she took as a win. “You’re right - I did - but it was a mistake. Old habits die hard, you know? I really do want to help you.”

Shigaraki stared down at her, the baby still crying in his arms, and rolled his eyes. “So earnest.”

“Are you going to mock me being a hero when I’m helping you pick out formula?” Uraraka asked.

That made him simmer down immediately. “No,” he grumbled.

“Good. I appreciate it.” Uraraka held out her hands. “May I?”

At first, Shigaraki hesitated, but then he handed the baby over and said, “Be careful,” which made her laugh.

“I’m not going to float your baby.” Uraraka took the baby from him (she was really going to have to find out what her name was), making sure to only use four fingers on each of her hands, keeping her pinky finger up. Shigaraki eyed her hands, an unreadable expression on his face. She had grown so used to being careful with her quirk that it was second nature to her. She didn’t even have to think about it anymore. It was probably the same for him.

The baby wailed as Uraraka held her against her chest. She hummed a song from the radio that she had stuck in her head and swayed back in forth until she slowly stopped crying. “There, there, little one. It’s okay. This has been a very confusing day for you, but don’t worry.  We’re going to get everything you need and then you can sleep.”

“How did you do that?” Shigaraki demanded. “Fuyumi needed the bottle to get her to stop.”

Uraraka shrugged and smoothed down a tuft of soft, brown hair. “Who knows? Babies cry for all sorts of things. It might be just because she’s with strangers and misses her mom.”

“I don’t see why,” Shigaraki replied. “Her mom was psychotic and I would know.”

“You didn’t know when you slept with her,” Uraraka pointed out unthinkingly. Seeing Shigaraki blush was one of the strangest things and it almost made her laugh all over again, but she didn’t want to startle the baby in her arms. “She might not have been a good person by any means, but her mom was the only person she really knew and she just met you tonight. It’ll take some time for her to warm up to you.”

The disgruntled look on Shigaraki’s face was close to a pout. “She likes you well enough and I’ve been holding her for like three hours.”

“Babies love me,” Uraraka said smugly.

Shigaraki did not  seem to like that at all, but he didn’t snark at her either. It was one battle he’d decided he couldn’t win. With his child content, he shook his head and started in the direction of the store. She knew it as well since it was the place she went to do her grocery shopping now that she was working night shifts. Since it was open all night, she never had to worry about getting there too late.

Plus, it had everything, so they wouldn’t have to worry about forgetting something. Since it wouldn’t be busy this late, one of them had to worry about bumping into someone that might make a scene. She didn’t think they would, seeing as how she was out of her hero costume and Shigaraki was able to look bland enough to not be recognized. Not that it was a bad thing, but… Well, she knew he didn’t want people to see him out with her. He was probably embarrassed to be seen with a pro hero.

“How far do you live from here?” Uraraka asked curiously.

“It’s about a fifteen-minute walk,” Shigaraki answered without looking over to her. “This is where I get everything. It’s better at night. Less people to deal with and no one bothers me.”

Uraraka blew a raspberry. “Not in this neighborhood.”

It wasn’t the worst place, but it admittedly wasn’t the best either. It had been a lot worse before Ruyuku had opened up a new agency in hopes of bettering it. When she had asked Uraraka to come back, she had been hesitant about it, but she hadn’t really been happy where she was. Coming back close to home felt good.

Shigaraki grunted. “It’s not that bad. No one’s bothered me.” Uraraka gave him a look. She didn’t live here, but she did work here and she’d been catcalled and harassed plenty of times - in and out of her hero costume. He had to know why petty criminals and small-time villains in the area didn’t bother him. When he finally glanced over at her to catch the look on her face, he shoved his hands in his pockets and quickly looked away. “Yeah, okay, I get it. Anyone committing a crime probably recognizes me. Still doesn’t make sense why no one has attacked me as a challenge.”

“You give off a very impressive ‘mess with me at your own risk’ vibe,” Uraraka told him.

“Didn’t seem to stop you,” Shigaraki muttered.

Uraraka smirked. “You don’t scare me.”

“I should probably work on that,” Shigaraki replied in an almost thoughtful tone as he scratched his neck.

She rolled her eyes. He really didn’t scare her. Not anymore, at least. Once upon a time, before she had gotten used to what it truly meant to be a hero, he had. After all, it was hard not to be scared when he’d worked so hard to tear down hero society. His actions as a villain still had ramifications to this day. The League changed the way people looked at heroes and villains.

The large store was filled with blinding lights, but that didn’t stop the baby from falling asleep. Without anything to set her in - and Uraraka was not using that duffel bag - she had to improvise. “Get a cart.” Shigaraki did as he was told, retrieving a cart and following her to the baby section. She picked out a fluffy pink blanket and set it in the cart before gently laying the baby down on it. “Woo, there, now both our hands are free.”

“That doesn’t look tacky at all,” Shigaraki mumbled to himself.

“You’re using a worn out duffel bag as a diaper bag,” Uraraka told him. He should probably toss that thing too. It looked like it had seen much better days.

“And a baby carrier.”

Uraraka paled a little. “You are not.”

“Well, I didn’t, but Himura did.” Shigaraki had the gall to sound offended that she had believed him capable of doing such a thing. Could he blame her? He had been about to feed her milk out of a glove. She was still shaken up over that. She had been so taken back that she couldn’t laugh.

Okay, baby shopping with the former leader of the League of Villains. Deku was going to lose his mind when she told him about this. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be too mad at her. It wasn’t like Shigaraki was a huge threat anymore.

“We’ll get the essentials first and work from there,” Uraraka said decisively, putting her hands on her hips. “I hope you have some money.”

“I don’t really have opportunities to blow money,” Shigaraki said.

Uraraka started down the first aisle. “Well, you do now.”

The last time she’d been in this section had been for a friend’s baby shower, but there was no sense in denying that her eyes drifted to it every now and then. She couldn’t help it. Being a hero had always been her dream, but she did love kids. She hoped to have one herself one day - she wanted to be a mom too - but she knew her career came first for now. Plus, you needed to be with someone to have a baby, or at least have someone to sleep with. Shigaraki had found that out the hard way.

“Why are there so many different kinds of...everything?” Shigaraki complained as he stood in front of the formula.

“Capitalism,” Uraraka simply told him.

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes at the cans as if they had personally offended him. “I should’ve fought to take that down instead of hero society.”

It was an off the wall comment and one that she knew was inappropriate, but it...kind of made her snicker. She had never really thought about things like senses of humor when it came to the villains that attacked her as a student, but it made sense for him to have a dark one. Everyone had their own ways of coping. Him joking about his time as a villain was one way of doing that. It likely helped alleviate any guilt he might feel over the whole thing. He might not admit to feeling it, but no one decided to randomly raise a baby for no reason.

Uraraka wasn’t going to say it, but she got the sense he was partly doing this to make up for what he’d done. If he was a good father, then maybe it could show he wasn’t entirely a bad person.

She could understand that.

“Your safest bet is getting the gentle formula since it’s easier on their little tummies, especially after you start introducing solids at six months,” Uraraka told him as she picked out a few cans. “I’d get a few at a time so you don’t have to go to the store as much. They drink a lot more than you think and it gets expensive. You should apply for a child-rearing allowance. The city has the program implemented.”

Shigaraki gawked at her. “How do you know all this?”

“I told you,” Uraraka said. “Babysitting and a handful of little cousins.” She peered down at the sleeping baby in the cart. “She’s still pretty small, so I’d say get her size one diapers for now. The store brand works for now, but once she starts sleeping through the night, get this brand so she doesn’t soak through. They’re still cheap, but they work. Some people will tell you to shell out for the nice wipes, but the cheapest brands are fine as long as you get unscented. It’s the same with shampoo and stuff like that.”

The look on his face would’ve been amused if he wasn’t so obviously overwhelmed. “I thought hero work paid well.”

Uraraka refused to blush, but she still looked away and mumbled, “Like I said earlier, old habits die hard.” She began to pick out a few more small essentials he would need like diaper rash ointment, a grooming kit, and the right size bottles. There were so many little things that came with raising a baby, but honestly, there wasn’t as many as people thought. It just looked like there was, but in truth, with a few core things, he would be fine.

“I only have three outfits,” Shigaraki said while digging through the duffel bag.

“Oh, I wouldn’t get anything here,” Uraraka said. “Baby clothes are expensive and they grow out of them so fast. There are a few thrift shops in the area. Buy some clothes there. They might be a little worn, but you’ll be able to get five times the stuff for the same price.”

Shigaraki tilted his head in thought. “Speaking from experience?”

“Well,” Uraraka said as picked out some baby medicine, “I didn’t have a lot of money growing up. We cut costs where we could. Sometimes we found some name brand clothes.” She did her best to feign nonchalance. “I still shop there. I like them.”

“Have you been to the one near your agency?”

Uraraka lit up. “Oh, that one is the best! I’ve found some really cool stuff there.”

“It’s where I get all my things.” There was something about the way he spoke that caught Uraraka’s attention. She couldn’t say what it was. Thinking about what his life had been like before his arrest was strange. On one hand, it was easy to remember what he had been like, but on the other, there had to be moments when he was just living. How did he get his clothes? How did he eat? It was hard to picture him grocery or clothing shopping in between trying to kill All Might or orchestrating attacks on heroes and other villain groups.

As curious as she was, it wasn’t like she could just ask him how he got his toothpaste when he was a villain. Well, she could, but it would be incredibly rude and she was trying to do better than that.

“Where…?” Shigaraki moved to scratch his neck and then stopped himself midway. “Where do they sleep?”

“You have to be really careful with them and they’re pretty picky,” Uraraka told him. “You can’t give them blankets and they have to sleep on their back until they can roll on their own.”

“She’s sleeping in a shopping cart.”

A smile worked its way on Uraraka’s face. “Babies will sleep everywhere and nowhere at the same time.” She picked out a travel bassinet. “This will do for now. You can put it in your bed if need be so she’s closer. Some people transfer babies to cribs at six months, but others co-sleep. Everyone says they’re going to stick to a plan, but all babies are different. I was a really cuddly baby so I would only sleep whenever I was in my parents’ bed.”

“That sounds horrendous,” Shigaraki replied so bluntly that Uraraka snorted. It reminded her of Iida, albeit a little harsher. Maybe it was more like Todoroki then.

Thinking of Todoroki reminded her of his difficult history with his parents, which in turn made her wonder about Shigaraki. She tried not to look at him sideways, but it was hard not to think about what he had been like as a kid. Judging from what she remembered from his trial, his childhood after the tragic death of his parents had not been filled with love and warmth. All for One had both starved him of affection and given him just enough to make him desperate for approval and more.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know anything about kids. He didn’t know anything about being a father.

But he was trying and that was more than some people.

Shigaraki put a hand to his tired face, reminding her of when he wore a severed hand over his face. It must have been more of a source of comfort for him than a costume. All those severed hands had given her shivers when she was younger, but now it made her think of hugs and comforting touches from friends. Those types of things always helped her feel grounded and know she wasn’t alone. Maybe it had been the same for him. They were gone now and she didn’t think he realized what he was doing.

“You don’t have a car, do you?” Uraraka asked.

“Does it look like I own a car?” Shigaraki responded. “I don’t even have a driver’s license.”

Uraraka raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, I failed my driver’s test in between attacking you all and fighting with other villains,” Shigaraki deadpanned.

It really shouldn’t have made her laugh, but Uraraka sputtered a little even as she tried to stop herself. The image of him failing his test in his villain outfit was too vivid. It wasn’t funny, yet it kind of was. This whole situation was funny if she thought about it for longer than five seconds. While going through the baby stuff, she could pretend she was shopping with a friend until she turned around and saw it was Shigaraki with his forearms resting on the cart. Then the whole absurdity of the situation struck her all over again.

“You won’t need a car seat for now then, so a cheap stroller will do.” An idea popped into Uraraka’s head right as she picked one out to put underneath the cart. “Oh, I know what you can use!” She rushed into a different aisle and picked out a cheap baby carrier. “She seems like she really likes to be held. You can wear this and put her in it so you can still use two hands and do stuff around the house.”

“That looks ridiculous,” Shigaraki said, “and like a complicated backpack.”

“It’s better than a duffel bag,” Uraraka pointed out.

Shigaraki took the baby carrier from her. “Are you putting the whole store in this thing?”

She rolled her eyes. “Half of it is taken up by your daughter. You just need the essentials. Stop whining.”

“I’m not whining,” Shigaraki shot back, sounding exactly like he was. “Any other grand wisdom you wanna bestow on me, Uravity?”

“It’s Uraraka.”

“What?” Shigaraki frowned, looking decidedly suspicious.

Uraraka gave him a smile. “I’m not here on hero business right now. It’s Uraraka.”

He didn’t seem to know what to do with that information, so he looked down at his baby instead. She did as well, reaching into the cart so she could brush her soft hair. She had more than most babies she’d seen. When she got home, she was definitely going to look up the incident. The baby had Shigaraki’s eyes, but Uraraka couldn’t deny being curious about what her mom looked like. What was Shigaraki’s type?

Wow, that was not a thought she’d planned on ever having.

“I hope you've got some funds in the bank,” Uraraka murmured to herself.

“I’m fine,” Shigaraki replied, discomfort evident in his voice. She didn’t know why he sounded like that, but she knew he wasn’t likely to answer her if she asked.

While he wandered up to the front to pay, Uraraka hung back in the baby aisle. With him gone, the surreality of the situation crashed down on her. What was she doing here? She knew a few of her friends would call her crazy for doing this (and a part of her agreed with them), but there had been something about the way he held onto his daughter and looked at her that had tugged at Uraraka’s heart. He didn’t know what he was doing and he wasn’t the type of person to be a father, but he was doing it anyway, even if it scared him.

And he had to be scared if he willingly accepted help from her. They didn’t know each other except for the times they had been on opposite ends of society actively fighting as enemies. He could have killed her, yet here she was, looking at baby stuff with him like they were friends.

Life was strange.

Before she walked over to the front to check on his progress, Uraraka picked out a few toys and a white noise machine. That would be a life saver for him. She would have to remind him about a swing as well. All the people she knew with kids said they were the only thing that kept them sane.

“Did you forget something?” Shigaraki asked, reaching out for the stuff in her arms.

“Oh, no, I got this,” Uraraka said. He gave her a weird, disbelieving look. “Consider it a baby shower gift.”

“That’s so stupid,” Shigaraki grumbled, but he didn’t argue with her either. He looked somewhat pressed when his total came up, but didn’t hesitate to swipe his card either. He held the card with two fingers like he barely wanted to touch it and wore a look of distaste as he put it back. She had no clue what that was about, but it looked like he didn’t like using it. Maybe it was just the idea of dropping so much money at once.

As soon as they started to walk out, Shigaraki halted. “Wait. We didn’t think this through.” Uraraka raised an eyebrow at him. “How the hell are we supposed to get all this shit back to my place? Not that I’m doubting your strength or anything, but you only have two arms.”

“Dummy.” Uraraka grabbed as many bags as she could in one hand and then touched all of them. He watched with wide eyes as they all began to float weightlessly in her hand. When she gave him a smirk, he wiped the surprised look off his face and replaced it with an unimpressed one. He’d forgotten what her quirk was, if only for a moment. It didn’t offend her. She hadn’t exactly been on his radar back in the day. He picked up the baby and she did the same thing with the other bags. “See, now you don’t have to worry about being chivalrous.”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Shigaraki said. Of that, she had no doubt. He didn’t seem like the “open the door, pull out a seat for a girl” type. How the hell had he gotten laid? Well, she had been a villain, so maybe she’d recognized him and was into that.

Nope, she was not going to think of that any further. It was a weird train of thought that went in an even weirder direction. Some things you just didn’t think about.

The conversation dried up and Shigaraki looked like he wasn’t in the mood to start another one. They started in the direction of what she assumed was his apartment. She was endlessly curious about what his place looked like. She tried to picture it, but got nowhere. He didn’t seem like he would decorate. He probably considered it a waste of time and money. Was it clean? It kind of looked like he did the bare minimum to look decent when it came to his appearance, but then she also had days where she didn’t care all that much.

Shigaraki abruptly hesitated. “My apartment…” He grimaced. “It’s not exactly...nice.”

“Don’t worry,” Uraraka said, “my first apartment was in a pretty sketchy area and it was tiny.”

That didn’t seem to soothe his anxiety as he avoided looking at her. “I, uh, haven’t had anyone over in a while - Touya doesn’t count - so it’s not… I haven’t picked up.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Uraraka said. The look Shigaraki gave her suggested otherwise. Maybe it was that bad. He would just have to clean a little tonight. “So you’re, uh, still friends with Todoroki’s brother?”

“We’re not friends,” Shigaraki insisted. He sounded almost horrified by the idea.

Uraraka bit her lip to stop a smile from appearing. “Okay.”

“He’s an ass,” Shigaraki grumbled under his breath. “I knew that milk glove was a bad idea.”

It was really hard not to laugh or smile at that. So he wasn’t entirely alone in this, although judging by what he’d said, she wasn’t sure if she could consider it help either. She would have to text Todoroki after this. If his brother was involved, then he would find out sooner or later and maybe get involved as well. He would know why Uraraka was doing this. After all, he had a former villain for an older brother and a pro hero for a father along with being one himself. He’d be able to understand.

One thing was for sure: Shigaraki wasn’t joking about it not being nice. Not that it was horrible, but it definitely wasn’t in a good area. She immediately recognized it for what it was: cheap. The rent was low, the space was small, the utilities not always trustworthy, and the neighbors sketchy, but not villainous. It was a place to eat and sleep and hole up in, but not much else. She could tell by the way he held himself that he was incredibly uncomfortable with her in his space, but short of having him carry the baby and all the bags, even without taking her quirk into consideration, there was nothing to do.

She told herself not to judge him once they actually got to his apartment. After all, she hadn’t done her dishes or laundry in almost a week. It wasn’t pretty in her place right now either.

He had to jimmy his key in the door a few times, but he managed to unlock it and shoved it open. At least it wasn’t easy to get into. The first thing she noticed was that it was dark. He needed more lighting. That was for sure. When he found the light switch, she was met with a sight that she’d kind of expected. There were no decorations and the furniture was minimal. It was small with an open floor concept (if she was feeling generous) so the kitchen and living room were one room and the bedroom and bathroom were off to the side.

“It’s not much,” Shigaraki began.

“It’s bigger than my first place.” Uraraka crouched down so the bags were closer to the ground, pressing her fingertips together and saying, “Release.” They dropped the few remaining inches and she let go of them. Aside from an alarming amount of energy drink cans, some take-out containers on the counter, and a few clothes lying around, the place wasn’t that bad. It didn’t smell at least. Well, not until she stood up and got a whiff of something else. “Uh oh.”

Shigaraki was holding the baby away from his chest. “Please don’t tell me.”

“You were gonna have to do this eventually,” Uraraka said.

She thought he muttered something like, “This smells worse than burnt flesh,” but she did not want to think about the implications of a statement like that, so she pretended he said something else. Something that wasn’t so horrific.

“It looks difficult, but it’s not that bad after a while,” Uraraka told him. She took the baby from him. This time, she didn’t even have to ask. He seemed quite relieved to pass her off. Sitting down on the ground, she gently laid the crying baby on her back and then grabbed some wipes and got a diaper from the new box. The ones in the duffel bag were newborn size and too small.

His eyes wide and a hand covering his nose and mouth, Shigaraki watched in absolute horror as she quickly changed the diaper. It was smelly and gross, but she’d also dealt with some serious wounds before, so it wasn’t that bad. After dealing with open, gushing wounds, this was a piece of cake. Plus, she’d changed dirty diapers before. On the other hand, with his face almost entirely devoid of blood, Shigaraki looked like he was about to pass out at any second.

She looked up to him and held out a hand near his leg, ready to stop him if he did faint. “You okay?”

“How?” Shigaraki asked in a hoarse voice. “How is it shitting that much?”

Uraraka burst into laughter. “I’m sorry, but this is nothing.”

“What the fuck.” She had never heard someone so horrified and confused in their life -  and she had been through a lot of crazy things since deciding to become a hero. “This is going to kill me.”

It would very likely stress him out more than he could ever realize. He’d thought being the leader of a group of misfit villains was stressful. Try being a single father.

More content now that she was clean, the baby stopped crying when Uraraka picked her up and got back to her feet. “Are you sure there isn’t anyone you can call to help you out, at least for tonight?” Shigaraki looked at her like she was stupid and she gave him a look that said she didn’t care, which made him stop. He took the baby from her, looking utterly resigned and lost but...determined. “Here.” She walked over to his desk - where there was a shockingly nice computer (one of the few things he must’ve splurged on) - and found a pen and a torn up envelope. “This is my number.”

“Why would I want that?” Shigaraki demanded heatedly.

“If you need help or whatever,” Uraraka said, setting the pen down.

Shigaraki scoffed. “What? I ring you up and you come running to help out?”

“Be a difficult ass; I don’t care,” Uraraka retorted, which made him snap his mouth shut. Honestly. Were all men this stubborn? He was worse than Bakugou, and that was saying something. She hadn’t thought anyone could be more obstinate than him, but here Shigaraki was, proving her wrong. “If you really need help - if you need someone to watch her so you can sleep - if you feel like you’re drowning… Call me. I’ll come if and when I can.”

Shigaraki eyed her. “This is weird. You’re weird.”

“Trust me, I know.” It had been months since she’d given her number out to a guy and now she was giving it to Tomura Shigaraki. Granted, it was under very different circumstances, but still, it was a little disheartening. This was what her life had come to? Oh, well, it wasn’t like she had much of a social life these days anyway. She didn’t want to say that she’d given up on dating, but after finding out her ex had moved on, even if they were on good terms, she’d kind of thrown herself into her work. “Just keep it, okay? This is going to be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done and you didn’t have time to prepare yourself for it. Use me as a last resort. I don’t mind.”

“Why are you being this nice?” Shigaraki asked suspiciously.

“Because I’m a nice person,” Uraraka said in a tone that was too mocking to be taken seriously.

“I tried to kill you,” Shigaraki stated.

Uraraka held out hands out in a c’est la vie gesture. “It’s a good thing you didn’t succeed or you would’ve been on your own tonight.” He huffed as if irritated with her. She didn’t care. When she walked over to him, she saw him hesitate and sort of pull back. She ignored that as well as she ran a finger down the baby’s soft cheek. “You be good for your daddy, okay? He’s new at this and it’s not going to be easy for either of you.” She looked up at him, her expression still soft. “I’m serious. If you really want to give her a better life than the one you had, you can’t do this on your own. Don’t be afraid to reach out.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Shigaraki told her.

“I know.” Uraraka sighed. There was nothing more she could do here. She had to take a step back and let him do this on his own. He was in for a very rough night. She couldn’t imagine how he felt right now. His entire world had been turned on its end once again. Perhaps it was lucky he had experience in extreme life changes. She didn’t know if that was a good thing or not in this case. “Good luck.”

Shigaraki didn’t respond, keeping his gaze on his child, and she kind of didn’t expect him to. He didn’t seem like someone that was big on goodbyes and it was an awkward situation as it was. Taking one last look at the beautiful baby girl, whose name she still didn’t know, she left the apartment. Walking down the stairs silently was strange and uncomfortable. She had done far more than was expected of her - she had gone plus ultra, as it were - but she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she could’ve done more. She was leaving him to do something she knew full well that he wasn’t capable of doing - but she had to trust that he would figure it out.

It was not a good feeling, not a good one at all, but there was nothing else she could do. If he called, she would step up and help. It was the right thing to do. If he didn’t, well, she had to hope for the best. It was possible she might never see him again, but seeing as how he lived close to her agency, she didn’t think so.

Whatever the case, her mind was reeling and her gut twisting, not from the long use of her quirk either. She kept her phone in her pocket. For some reason, it didn’t feel right to call Deku and tell him everything like a gossip. She’d wait and see how she felt in the morning. That was that. She hoped Shigaraki was able to get some sleep tonight, but she doubted that too.

Chapter 5: I am here to help!

Notes:

I had so much fun with this chapter. I mean, I say that with every chapter, but... Also, just know that I am out at a bar as I post this. I'm a mess and I am sticking to it. My daughter has been with my dad and stepmom for three days and I'm confused about my life. Lmao

Chapter Text

Virginia: I'm freaking out a little bit here, Burt. I'm not doing well with this. Think of something. How are we gonna fix this? Think.
Burt: You know I can't think on demand like that.
(Raising Hope, "Dream Hoarders")

.

U.A. had become something remarkably different after the League of Villains had been disbanded. There wasn’t a constant threat to the students and teachers anymore. Of course, the public viewed them differently as well and their popularity in the country had changed. It was certainly quieter, which was what he appreciated the most. It had been emotional and sadder than he’d anticipated when Izuku had finally graduated, but now he was off working as his own hero and had secured the number one hero position a few months back.

Toshinori could be proud of what he’d done to help him, but that didn’t mean he could slack now that his successor was the hero he’d wanted to be his entire life. There would always be other students to teach, heroes to guide, and civilians to protect - both good and bad. The past few years had taught him quite a few things. Despite being an adult, he’d had to learn a few hard lessons as well. One was never too old to learn, apparently. They were a struggle, but he would work through them.

One of the hardest things to learn was that even those with seemingly no hope for redemption needed a hand extended to them. If no one was there to help pull them out of the dark hole they were trapped in, then how could anyone expect them to come back into the light? Some people didn’t want to come out. Some didn’t know anything else and couldn’t find the door. It was sometimes hard to figure out which one was which, but Toshinori now knew not to expect anything.

While he was grading papers (at least teaching had gotten easier and more instinctive), his cell began to ring in an obnoxiously loud tone. Toshinori glanced over to it, wondering if he should just let it go to voicemail and return the call after he finished his work, when the name on the caller ID caught his attention.

“Naomasa?” Toshinori murmured to himself. “Why is he calling me at this hour?” He furrowed his brow. “Unless…” His heart shot into his throat. He snatched the phone and quickly answered it. “Naomasa? What’s going on? Is it-?”

“Relax, Toshinori,” his friend interrupted on the other end. “It does involve Shigaraki, but, ah, not in the way you might be worried about.”

Well, that was still concerning. What could he possibly mean by that? Toshinori could not deny that many of his views about the world and hero society had been changed by one Tomura Shigaraki. In a way, it meant that one of his goals as the leader of the League of Villains had been met. Finding out that All for One was grooming and manipulating his mentor’s grandson had shaken him to his core. It had broken his heart in a way he hadn’t felt since Nana’s death. It had been like losing a part of her all over again.

Witnessing Shigaraki’s rise to infamy as a villain had devastated and hardened him. It had been impossible not to get involved when his goal was to kill the Symbol of Peace, even after his retirement. Watching his fall had been almost as heartbreaking. Learning that someone had to fall to their lowest depths in order to crawl out into that light again had been painful. It was all he could do to sit back and watch. Knowing someone was capable of greatness but seeing them utilize it in all the wrong ways and being unable to do anything to help them was rough indeed.

He had done what he could after Shigaraki’s arrest and subsequent incarceration. He most certainly hadn’t liked it and their brief conversations were halted at best, but Toshinori knew that he had to extend the hand that no other heroes had, even if Shigaraki claimed he didn’t want it. He didn’t have to take it right away. Toshinori would continue to patiently hold out that hand, even when the strain began to hurt, until the time came that he needed it.

“You haven’t had the chance to see the news tonight, have you?” Naomasa asked.

Toshinori set his pen down. “No, I’ve been grading papers for the last hour.”

“Well, Shigaraki sort of made the news - in a good way.” Naomasa wasn’t normally this vague, so it must have been news that he didn’t know how Toshinori would take or something he didn’t quite know how to feel about. He sounded a little confused on top of that. “You know where he’s working and living these days, right?”

“Yes.” Toshinori was the first person alerted when Shigaraki came up for parole. After all, he had been the main target of the League. It had also been thanks to his testimony that Shigaraki was able to apply for parole so soon. He hadn’t the first time it had come up, which had confused and hurt him, but the second time his chance for parole came up, he quietly put in an application. Ever since speaking at his parole hearing, Toshinori wouldn’t say he kept a close eye on Shigaraki, as he wanted to give him the space to flourish and live his own life, but he had kept a few tabs on him.

The most contact they’d had after Shigaraki had gotten out of prison had been when Toshinori had set up an account with special funds for him. It hadn’t been a lot, as not to anger or fluster him, but he understood that Shigaraki had never lived a normal life. He’d never had to work a job and pay bills and taxes. Being a villain had never been about money for him like it was for many villains. Toshinori had thought it important to make sure he had something to fall back on in case he truly struggled. Shigaraki had sworn to never touch it.

“I don’t need your pity,” Shigaraki had all but seethed. It hadn’t been the same type of anger as before. No, he had been much more subdued after prison. It hadn’t been anger so much as determination. It wasn’t that he didn’t need help; it was that he wouldn’t fail.

“A villain accosted him outside of his workplace tonight,” Naomasa told him.

Toshinori swore his heart skipped a beat and he nearly jumped out of his chair. “Is he alright?”

“He’s completely uninjured,” Naomasa quickly reassured him. “He actually called the police on her. She was safely apprehended by two pro heroes without incident.”

“That’s…” Toshinori breathed out a sigh of relief and sank back down. It was more than he could ask for. He had been worried about this ever since Shigaraki had gained his freedom. He’d been attacked a few times while in prison and had always defended himself well, except for the time he’d been stabbed. Villains would target him because of his past history as the leader of the League of Villains for various reasons. It was a fact he would have to consider for a very long time. “That’s good.”

Honestly, he was proud of Shigaraki, although he was certain the reformed villain would loathe hearing such a thing. He was still very prickly. Considering his past, he’d come a long way on his own in the past two years.

“Is that it?” Toshinori asked. He could get the details later. For now, he was pleased to know Shigaraki had found himself confronted with a villain and, instead of resorting to violence, had done the right thing.

“Ah, well, there is something else,” Naomasa continued a little awkwardly. “It appears as if Shigaraki and the villain knew each other.” He coughed. “Intimately.”

For a brief moment, Toshinori didn’t understand what Naomasa was trying to tell him. Had the villain and Shigaraki crossed paths during his League of Villain days? Had they known each other before he’d become their leader? Was it someone he had met in prison who had developed a grudge towards him? Someone he had met after he had left prison?

Intimately.

“Oh!” Toshinori slapped a hand to his cheek. “You mean to tell me he had an altercation with an ex?”

“Of sorts,” Naomasa said carefully. “It appears as if Shigaraki is, well, the father of her three-month-old daughter.”

Everything rushed out of Toshinori’s mind at once, leaving him unable to think of anything. He held the phone against his ear, staring at nothing, completely stunned into a silence so strong it even eclipsed his thoughts.

“Toshinori? Are you still there? Toshi?”

Sound rushed back over him like an ocean tidal wave and Toshinori startled in his seat. “Yes, I’m still here.”

“Did you hear me?”

“Yes, I-” Toshinori leaned back in his seat. “The question is: did I hear you right?”

“You did.”

He took a deep breath and let it out. This was… He didn’t know what to think about this. Tomura Shigaraki was a father. His first thought was that Shigaraki was wholly unprepared for this. His second thought was of Nana. Her blood was strong. That showed in her grandson. It would likely show in her great-granddaughter as well. The mere thought made him feel strangely old. Great-granddaughter. Shigaraki had a daughter.

“Apparently the villain did not tell him of his daughter until she came back into town and needed him to watch her while she continued her crime spree,” Naomasa explained. Toshinori wanted to say something now, but he would keep his mouth shut until the very end. Each new detail made him more incredulous. “When Shigaraki realized she was a danger to the child, he alerted the authorities. After the heroes took her down, they went to retrieve the child and he wouldn’t give her up. He said it was hers.” He paused to give Toshinori time to process this information. It was a lot. The fact that Shigaraki didn’t hand over the child right away spoke volumes in his mind. “I confirmed it with my quirk. He wasn’t lying. We would need a DNA test to prove it, but I saw her. I would swear she was his too.”

Toshinori rubbed his mouth thoughtfully. “Thank you for letting me know.”

“I know you’ve been keeping an eye out for him,” Naomasa said. “He seemed… Well, if he’s planning on doing what I think he is, he’s going to struggle. Someone with his background doesn’t exactly have a lot of knowledge in this matter, but you should’ve seen the way he reacted when they tried to take her away from him.”

It was an instinct that some people didn’t realize they had until the opportunity was right in front of them. Toshinori could understand that better than most would realize. Of course, saving people with a smile had always been his number one priority, but besides a handful of people, he’d never formed truly close relationships. Melissa was really the only child he’d been around during his pro hero days.

It wasn’t until Izuku that he formed a close bond with a child and felt that deep protective instinct kick in, which later extended to Bakugou and many other Class A students. He had thought it was just about One for All, but after Bakugou’s kidnapping, Toshinori had come to realize that it was more than that. Of course, things were a little more official now that he and Inko…

Well, that was a story for another day. This day was not his. No, this day was very much Shigaraki’s. He was a father now. It was a massive step in his life, one that he had not been aware of, much less prepared to handle. Things could go either way. Desperation and helplessness could make people do crazy and stupid things and Toshinori knew that his support system was not strong, if only because he kept people at an arm’s length. He would need all the help he could get, whether he wanted to admit that or not.

“I’ll look into it,” Toshinori said.

Naomasa let out a soft chuckle. “Good luck with that. His stubbornness has not changed.”

“Trust me, I know.” Toshinori bid Naomasa goodnight and ended the call. He set his phone down on the desk, one hand still resting against his mouth. There was one thing he could do…

He glanced at the clock, noting how late it was, and then turned on the television. Upon finding the news channel, he immediately saw they were playing the story about the captured villain. It wasn’t often that villains were caught with such ease, but she had been blindsided by the heroes behind her. Someone had captured cell phone footage of the brief altercation from inside a store. Toshinori’s focus wasn’t on the villain and heroes though; it was on Shigaraki in the background cradling a tiny baby, albeit awkwardly, in a fiercely protective hold.

The look on his face was incredibly easy to read for someone who had hidden behind a villain’s mask for years: he would not let anything bad happen to that child, no matter what. Toshinori wondered if Shigaraki was even aware of the look he was making or the way he held the baby. His baby girl. She was so small in his gloved hands, so innocent and unaware of the world, so helpless and fragile as all new life was.

The incident had apparently ended hours ago. Naomasa must have just finished fully processing her when he had gone to the side to call him. Since then, Shigaraki had been saddled with an infant and the shocking prospect of fatherhood. What had he been doing? Where had he gone? The urge to leave right now and find him was terribly strong, but also a terrible idea. He would wait until the morning at least to decide what to do - if he should do anything at all. Shigaraki could react very poorly to him showing up unannounced.

Right on cue, Toshinori’s cell phone pinged, alerting him to an email. It happened often enough with junk mail and other things, but there was something about it that caught his attention and made him pick up his cell. Sure enough, when he checked his email, it was a notification letting him know the current balance of the special account he had set up for Shigaraki after his release. He’d told himself that he wouldn’t check it as to give him privacy - and so far, he hadn’t - but he couldn’t ignore it tonight.

Funds had apparently been withdrawn, a very solid amount used at a large chain store. Toshinori didn’t want to make any assumptions since he couldn’t see what had been bought there, but he had a feeling it wasn’t a gaming system or a new computer. Shigaraki had found himself with a near newborn and then dropped a lot of money.

Toshinori gripped the phone tightly. Shigaraki was really doing this. It wasn’t something he could just give up on if it got too hard. It was also something he could not do alone, no matter what he thought. Plenty of people did and he commended their strength for it, but if Shigaraki truly wanted to do right by his daughter, he would need other people to give their support, if not for him then for her.

Tomorrow. He would check on Shigaraki tomorrow. For now, he would try to get some sleep, although it was highly doubtful considering how much was now resting on his mind. It was likely that Shigaraki would suffer the same sleepless fate, although for a much different reason. Three-month-olds weren’t known for their normal sleeping schedules, especially not one who had been raised by a villain on the run from the authorities so far.

To be honest, Toshinori knew very little about babies (he liked to deal with kids ages fourteen and up), but he would do whatever was in his power - and whatever Shigaraki would let him do - to help. It was important to him and, if he truly wanted to raise her, Shigaraki would at least begrudgingly accept that.

*

The sun was rising by the time Shigaraki passed out on the couch, unable to make it to his bedroom. The baby (Princess? Zelda?) had started wailing almost as soon as Uraraka had left, almost like it missed her. He hadn’t thought he would miss the pro hero, but after five hours of pacing around his apartment, waiting for the baby to fall asleep, only for her to wake up even more pissed ten minutes later, he was beginning to reconsider it. Why wouldn’t this child sleep longer on her own? If he continued to hold her, she’d sleep forever, but it was like the moment he set her down, she’d pop up wide awake and madder than he’d ever been as a villain.

Finally, around nine and very randomly, the baby conked out mid-millionth time around the apartment and didn’t wake up when he laid her down in the sleeper thing on the floor next to him. He had a very bad feeling this was going to become a reoccurring habit. That wouldn’t work at all. He would have to figure something out. Maybe she would sleep if he put the little sleep nest thing in his bed so she was closer to him. Uraraka had said some parents co-slept, but she was so tiny. He didn’t move much in his sleep (unless he had nightmares) and she didn’t either until she woke up, but the idea of placing a wiggly baby in his bed with him was absolutely terrifying.

Shigaraki didn’t consider himself the type of person to be afraid of things, but sleeping next to something so fragile scared him. What if it rolled off the bed? What if he rolled onto it? Nope, no way. He wasn’t gonna do it. That baby was gonna learn to like that sleep thing or so help him.

(Or not - because he didn’t need any help.)

He had been asleep for maybe an hour when loud knocking on his door startled him out of a dreamless, exhausted sleep, nearly making him roll off the couch and onto the baby. He caught himself at the last second, gripping the cushions to keep himself from tipping over. Somehow, despite the fact that silence seemed to wake it up, the baby remained blessedly asleep. Unfortunately, Shigaraki did not have such luck. As much as he wanted to ignore the pounding on the door, he knew it would only continue and then it really would wake the baby.

Sitting up and awkwardly crawling over the back of the couch, Shigaraki shuffled over to the front door and grouchily demanded, “Who is it? Actually, I don’t care. Piss off. It’s too early.”

“It’s me!” the voice on the other end called.

Shigaraki didn’t need to hear an actual name to know who it was. If he could melt into a puddle and slip through the cracks of his floor to avoid this confrontation, he would do so in a heartbeat. There would be no turning him away, not today. On any other day, he might’ve been able to get him to leave or back off, but he must have somehow found out about the whole baby thing. Maybe he’d seen the news. Maybe he’d noticed the withdrawal of funds from the account. Maybe that cop had told him.

Whatever the case was, All Might was standing outside his apartment and Shigaraki thought he might die.

Was this really what his life had come to? If someone had told him eight years ago that this would be it, he would have disintegrated them on the spot.

After sighing far too dramatically, Shigaraki unlocked the door and opened it to reveal the former Symbol of Peace. It was still weird seeing him. He’d spent so many years obsessing over All Might that it was hard to reconcile the fact that he was skinnier than both Shigaraki and Touya these days - and Touya was a beanpole with a hint of muscles. He was still tall. At least he’d stopped wearing that garish yellow suit that didn’t fit him. Things that bright didn’t belong in his apartment; a bit like Uraraka last night. Some people just didn’t fit in his space.

“May I come in?” All Might asked politely.

Shigaraki waved a hand. “Might as well shoe your way into my shit since you’re already here.” He walked away from the door to the kitchenette so he could swipe an energy drink from the fridge. There was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep now.

With the door opened to him completely, All Might stepped inside, suddenly tentative. This would mark the second time he had been here. The first time had been two years ago when he’d brought up the bank account. Shigaraki had sworn not to touch it, but then again, last night’s adventure hadn’t been for himself. He watched with a guarded gaze as All Might shut the door and looked around. Shigaraki pointed to the couch, knowing full well what he was looking for, and stayed silent as the hero made his way over there.

The moment he saw the baby sleeping in its little bed on the floor next to the couch, All Might brought a hand to his mouth and gasped. “She’s beautiful.”

“You wouldn’t say that if she was awake screaming her head off,” Shigaraki told him, “or when she shits enough to knock a grown man out cold.”

Nightmares. He was going to have nightmares about explosive shitty diapers on top of the ones about All for One and when his quirk manifested. Maybe her quirk was shitting. Now that was villainous.

All Might turned around to face him, a very serious expression on his face. It made Shigaraki want to scream or turn the can in his hand to ashes. He did neither thing, although he could have if he simply lowered his pointer finger onto the can. He’d taken his gloves off after laying her down last night, desperately needing to give his hands a breather from the confines of the material. It was why he’d panicked so much after nearly falling on top of her.

“This is…” For once, All Might was at a loss of words.

“What? Where’s the lecture on why I shouldn’t be doing this? How I can’t handle it? Why I’m being foolish? How she would be better off if I gave her up?” Shigaraki tore into All Might coldly, not caring if it upset the old man or not. That wasn’t his problem. He had never asked for All Might’s compassion or help. He’d never asked him to plead the case for a lighter sentencing or speak on his behalf when he came up for parole. He hadn’t asked for money or time. He hadn’t asked for any of this.

For his part, All Might didn’t flinch away as most would, but he did look sad. “I’m certain you are already well aware of the seriousness and gravity of this situation. This won’t be easy.”

Shigaraki snorted. Life wasn’t easy. Simply living, day in and day out, doing nothing and going nowhere, wasn’t a breeze. His life was certainly easier than it had been before, but there was something soul-crushing about his life now. It was like the world owned him and he couldn’t do anything without people looking at him sideways. He’d never had that problem as a villain. The world had been his own to take and shape.

“You’re going to need help,” All Might continued.

That’s what Uravity said, Shigaraki thought, although he wasn’t about to open that can of worms in front of All Might.

“I’ll manage,” he said instead.

All Might shook his head. “With everything else, yes, but a baby? This is something far different. You won’t be able to do this on your own. The fact that you dipped into the account tells me as much.”

A scowl crossed Shigaraki’s face and he took a large gulp of his energy drink to hide his exhaustion. He’d known using those funds would bite him in the ass. It was partly why he’d never touched them prior to this. He knew they were being monitored. It was simply the easiest way to get her what she needed.

“I’m not alone,” Shigaraki told him.

“Who?”

Shigaraki opened his mouth and hesitated. Touya didn’t count. Fuyumi? Uraraka? He couldn’t say anything without making himself look worse. “People, okay? I’ve got people.”

“No friends?” All Might asked in a hopeful tone that Shigaraki didn’t like. He wasn’t even going to answer that question. He didn’t like it. What he and Uraraka had done last night had been an awful lot like what friends did, but that was impossible for a lot of reasons, most of them revolving around the fact that he’d nearly killed her and her friends quite a few times. “I’m glad you finally used the money in the account. I know it was a mark against your pride, but the fact that you used it despite your reluctance shows how much you’ve grown to care about others.”

“Shit was expensive,” Shigaraki muttered. He still had to go to the thrift store to get clothes. Uraraka had been right about the clothes at the store being way over-priced.

All Might went over to his desk and grabbed the same pen as Uraraka. His eyes must have caught sight of her number written down on the piece of paper he’d gone for, but his brow was furrowed and his eyes too confused for him to have recognized it. He probably had Midoriya’s number memorized by heart. “If you need any help at all - and I’m afraid you will, so please do not be stubborn - do not hesitate to call me.” All Might wrote his number down underneath the first one. “I’ll be here as soon as I can.”

“I’m not gonna call you,” Shigaraki flatly stated as he dropped the empty can in his trash bin.

“You say that now,” All Might replied, a small smile on his face. “Life certainly has a way of making us do surprising things, doesn’t it?”

Shigaraki’s entire life had been made up of terrible and ridiculous twists and turns. He’d thought that was all behind him and he’d moved on - but apparently, fate had very different plans for him. He couldn’t even really blame fate when he made the decision to keep her on his own. It shouldn’t be legal for anyone to make such commitments when this amount of weird shit happened to them.

Could he legally keep her? He hadn’t taken any official tests to prove she was his, but Naomasa had let him go. It honestly wouldn’t have surprised him if there were no actual records of this child. Now that he knew her a little better, Himura didn’t seem like the type to have gone through legal channels when having a baby. A paper trail like that could lead the police to her. She’d left town because of the heat on her.

“Are you done here?” Shigaraki asked blandly. “I just got to sleep when you woke me up.”

An embarrassed look crossed All Might’s face. “I’m so sorry! I just wanted-” He was interrupted by the tiny cries of a baby who had been woken up by loud noises. He looked even more genuinely apologetic when Shigaraki growled in frustration and rushed over to the couch. “I can get her-”

“No,” Shigaraki cut in sharply. He snatched his gloves off the back of the couch, tugging them on. It was swift, but that was still too long for the baby, whose cries were starting to reach a crescendo. He crouched down so he could scoop her out of the bassinet and brought her to his chest as he stood back up. “I’ve got her, okay?”

All Might held his hands up as if surrendering. That wasn’t true though. He never surrendered. Shigaraki’s life would have been a hell of a lot different if he did. “I wasn’t insinuating that you didn’t. Children can be overwhelming even for parents that have had nine months to prepare for it. You weren’t given any time to prepare and you’re alone.”

As if he needed a reminder. Last night had been only a taste of the hell he was in for. He did not want to admit that, if only for a moment, Touya’s suggestion had sounded like a good idea. Touya didn’t have good ideas. The moment he had considered safe dropping the baby - that second when the thought that he wasn’t cut out for this and he didn’t need or want a baby in his life crossed his mind - shame had flared in his gut so hotly that he’d felt sick. How could he so easily deny his blood? He couldn’t.

He couldn’t do the same thing people had done to him - turn her away because she was an inconvenience to his life. If he was being honest, it wasn’t even much of a life.

There was a curious gleam in All Might’s sunken eyes as he surveyed the room. “I am surprised you were able to get all of this stuff last night on your own. You were able to get everything you need for now.”

Shigaraki stiffened for a moment and then continued to walk in circles and bounce the baby in his arms until she calmed down. She took a fistful of his shirt as she buried her little face in the crook of his neck. He’d learned last night, after much trial and error, that she didn’t like to be cradled and preferred to be held upright. “I’m not a complete idiot. I did some research.”

He didn’t know why he didn’t mention the help Uraraka had given him. All Might probably would’ve been proud to know that one of his former students was going above and beyond to be a hero. (It could’ve been worse: Midoriya could have seen him instead.) Maybe he was kind of embarrassed. She’d seen him on the street and realized he was so clueless that she’d gone out of her way to help him and he’d been forced to accept it.

Plus, there was that weird part about him spending years attacking her class. Seeing her help him buy baby stuff had been uncomfortable, especially when she’d bought stuff with her own money. He eyed the stuffed animals on the table. So far, the baby seemed most fond of the little dinosaur, but it was hard to tell what she liked. Uraraka hadn’t had to do that. Hell, she hadn’t had to any of it. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d assumed he was a danger to the child.

Back in his arms, the baby was asleep again, obviously tired from being up most of the night. It had certainly been a wild one. He was pretty sure she was crying because she was tired, but then she kept fighting sleep. It was kind of like him when he got super crabby after being up for a day, but didn’t want to quit playing a game because he was close to finishing it or reaching an important part.

“She’s a beautiful baby girl,” All Might told him in a frustratingly gentle voice. “I’m proud of you for doing this. It’s not an easy decision to take on a lifelong responsibility like this.” No, it wasn’t - and yet, at the same time, it was. Sure, he was terrified, tired, and frustrated to hell and back, but he couldn’t imagine giving her away. The moment she had been placed in his arms, he’d felt a change in him he had never thought himself capable of. He was too selfish to be a father. “There will be times when it feels like you can’t do this, but if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you don’t give up.”

I gave up on trying to kill you, didn’t I? The thought crossed his mind, entirely unbidden. There was no bitterness or anger in it though, only exhaustion and mild disdain. For himself or for All Might, he wasn’t sure.

“Any more words of wisdom you’d like to give me before I try to get her to lay down for the twentieth time?” Shigaraki asked, fixing a dead-eyed gaze upon him.

All Might sighed and shook his head. “No, I will leave you to it.” He walked to the door and opened it, pausing one more time before he walked out. “Please do not put your pride over your child’s welfare. I don’t think you will, but it will be painful for you to admit you need help, much more so to ask for it. Every parent struggles with that, from what I heard.”

Shigaraki was reminded of how All Might had never had kids himself, unlike the former holder of One for All. When he had been the number one hero, there hadn’t been the time for anything like marriage or children. Shigaraki wondered if he regretted it. Probably not. He’d had to do what he had to do in order to fulfill his goals, even if it meant sacrificing a part of his life.

“Yeah, I’m sure plenty of people have been in this exact situation, so you know how I feel,” Shigaraki said caustically, throwing him an unamused smile. All Might sighed. He should’ve been used to his behavior by now. “Can you go?”

“Of course. I’m sorry for waking you.” All Might took one last look at the baby girl in his arms and then walked out and closed the door.

The moment he was gone, Shigaraki stopped and sank back against the counter of his tiny kitchen. There were a ton of reasons why being around All Might made him uncomfortable, but he could never pinpoint which was the worst one. He’d thought he would mostly be over it by now, but with his child in his arms, he was even more stressed out than usual. It wasn’t that need to impress that he had felt with All for One; it was more like a need to show he was doing just fine without anyone.

He didn’t need people. He didn’t need help. All he needed was himself.

Shigaraki looked at the baby. She hadn’t gone to sleep as he’d originally thought, but lying still and peaceful with her cheek resting against his shoulder. Her red eyes were big and searching as she clung to him. “It’s just you and me, kid.” He frowned. “I really need to come up with a name for you. ‘Princess’ is a no-go.”

The baby made a gurgling noise that he took as a sign of agreement. He almost smiled. Now, if only she would go the fuck to sleep. Then they would be on the same page.

*

Shigaraki had known things were going to be extraordinarily difficult, but he would handle it.

Holy shit, he had been way off base. This wasn’t difficult. This was a madhouse and he was trapped in it.

To be honest, a lot of the things about raising a baby were pretty straightforward. There were instructions on the formula cans and the internet told him how much she needed to drink. It helped that he could read a lot of articles on his phone while she slept in his arms, which was apparently her favorite place to sleep and the only place she would sleep for longer than fifteen minutes. That left him leaning back on his couch, dozing off for a few minutes at a time with her against his chest, only for him to bolt awake in a panic when he thought she was slipping.

However, there were little things that got to him: the sheer amount of diapers she went through, constantly cleaning her bottles, losing her binkies at the worst time ever. The worst part, which he hadn’t anticipated, was not having any time to himself. If he so much as left her sight for a second, she started to wail. He had to listen to her crying in panic whenever he had to take a piss. He’d never pissed so fast in his life.

Also, he couldn’t eat without her getting upset. It was like she could tell when he was about to take a bite of food. If she couldn’t eat it, then apparently he couldn’t either. God forbid he wanted to play a video game. It was impossible to do with only one hand. No matter what, she wanted to be attached to him in some way. In the end, he had to rely on delivery food and the television in order to keep himself entertained. He spent half the time lying on the floor with her while she did what the internet called “tummy time,” sipping on energy drinks as if his life depended on it. At this rate, he was going to go through his stash by the end of the week.

He’d called work and explained his situation to his boss. They were surprisingly understanding. The idiot who had come in to work after him had captured half of the incident on video. He’d faced down a villain and not only helped the authorities take her down, but had saved a baby in the process. His boss was accommodating, even telling him about the paternity leave he could apply for. He knew he would have to go through the proper channels and deal with paperwork if he was going to get anything more official to help though.

By day three, Shigaraki was starting to wonder what the outside world looked like. The only people he’d seen and spoken to had been delivery people. He wasn’t sure if the baby counted, even though he talked to her like she could understand him. She’d stare at him with those wide, red eyes that made him feel like he was looking into a mirror; as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. It made him feel even guiltier.

He thought he could handle it. He thought he could take it. After all, he’d locked himself inside without any sunlight for days at a time before. It was different with a baby. Not that he felt trapped, but he couldn’t do anything. He hadn’t even been able to shower for longer than two minutes without her getting upset. He was half tempted to drop the bag of dirty diapers out the fire escape and hope it landed in the dumpster.

Things came to a head when he startled awake and found that she’d managed to scratch her face with one of her tiny nails. It was enough to draw blood. He gawked at the scratch, his neck itching in response, but he forced his hand down to cradle her cheek and wipe the blood off with his thumb. How had she done that? She wasn’t even crying over it, but the scratch looked bad. It had to hurt. He’d put little mittens on her hands, but she must’ve pulled them off somehow and scratched herself in her sleep.

“Why would you do that?” Shigaraki grumbled as he grabbed a wipe to clean her face. It wasn’t bleeding anymore, so the scratch wasn’t as deep as the ones he used to make on his neck at times. He sighed and dug around one of the plastic bags for the grooming kit Uraraka had picked out. When he had noticed how long her nails were, he knew he was going to have to cut them, but he’d hoped he could avoid it for a little longer. Her fingers were so small and her nails even smaller. Plus, she wiggled her fingers and kept her hands closed a lot. He held up the nail clippers. “How am I supposed to do this?”

After five minutes of struggling with her, Shigaraki managed to clip one of her nails and breathed out a sigh of relief. She kept wriggling and crying, but as long as he kept her finger still, it wasn’t so bad. It would’ve been easier had he not been wearing his gloves, but he didn’t want to risk it. Okay, one down, nine more to go. This wasn’t so bad. He had this.

The next fingernail he clipped, he somehow managed to get her actual finger and blood spurted out.

I do not fucking have this, fucking goddamn! Oh fuck, what do I do?

The cries that came from the baby’s mouth were so blood-curdling that Shigaraki froze on the spot. He stared in horror at the finger, the clippers in his hand, as blood stained the blanket she was laying on. Her crying sounded distant even though she was right in front of him. His eyes flickered to the blood, the clippers, and then her red face. The sound rushed back to him like a tidal wave and he dropped the clippers on the ground.

“What the shit!” Shigaraki swore. He picked her up and rushed her over to the sink so he could wash the blood from her hand. He had to hold her more awkwardly than normal, which made her cry even more. Her finger was still bleeding when he pulled her hand out of the water, so he grabbed a paper towel and wrapped it over her hand in an attempt to staunch the blood flow.

He honestly thought he would be able to keep his cool, but then the red began to stain the white paper towel and he effectively lost his shit.

“I can’t do this. What the fuck was I thinking? I don’t know shit about babies. I don’t even bother trying to keep them alive or do shit for them in the Sims. I took away the doors in rooms and ladders in pools, for fuck’s sake! I’m gonna fuck up and I’m gonna fuck up this baby and I-I can’t be a father. This is so fucking stupid. I can’t do this alone. I can’t do this at all-”

Shigaraki clamped his jaw shut and struggled to breathe through his nose. It had been a while since he’d spiraled like that. He supposed the court-mandated therapy he’d been in since his incarceration really had helped some. It was embarrassing now, even though only a crying baby was there to witness it and she was too busy bleeding from a clipped finger to notice his panic attack. Normally, he felt like disintegrating things when he spiraled into a mood like that, but with her in his arms, it hadn’t even occurred to him.

He couldn’t do it. He had to cut her nails so she wouldn’t hurt herself, but he had hurt her in the process and the thought of picking up those nail clippers again made his stomach roll. It was weak and pathetic, but he couldn’t. Except he was alone. There was no one that could do this for him. He was alone with a hysterically crying (and bleeding) baby. He wasn’t the crying type by any means, but what the fuck, this was awful. He’d cut the tip of her finger and she was bleeding and he didn’t have any tiny band-aids that would fit her and he didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to get her to stop crying? She’d never trust him again. Hell, he didn’t trust himself right now.

As he bounced her in his arms and walked around in an attempt to get her to stop crying (how could she when he potentially cut off her fingertip, my god), Shigaraki’s eyes passed over his computer desk and he stopped walking. He couldn’t see it from where he was, but he knew that the paper with Uraraka’s and All Might’s numbers was still lying on it. He had meant to throw it away, partly out of spite, but hadn’t gotten around to it. Now it was there, beckoning him like some sort of demon. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t. There was no way he was going to call anyone for help. He wasn’t even going to text Touya because then he’d know he had been right.

However, the more she wailed, the more desperate Shigaraki began to feel. What if he spiraled again and this time he couldn’t control himself? (He could. He would.) He was just… If he couldn’t handle this now - if he couldn’t handle this for more than a few days - then how was he supposed to raise her into adulthood? How was he going to take care of her for years when he was already drowning at day three? This was a mistake. He couldn’t do this alone. She would be better off in someone else’s care.

Don’t put your pride over your child’s welfare.

Having All Might’s words come back to him was the final straw. If he was thinking about that, then Shigaraki had truly fallen off the deep end, but… (He was right.)

Storming over to the desk, Shigaraki dug around until he found the paper under a can of formula. He stared at the two numbers, trying to figure out what to do. Should he call one of them? No, no, he didn’t want to. The idea of calling either hero for help made his insides writhe and his skin crawl. He hated it with every fiber of his being. It wasn’t that he was filled with hatred for heroes anymore. It wasn’t even humiliation or shame. The idea of asking for help was just so foreign to him. His last years in the League had taught him that people, even those considered evil, would help him and could be a family, but he didn’t have that anymore. He’d thought he didn’t want it again.

But this baby was his family - his only blood left - and he had to help her.

In the end, Shigaraki swiped his phone and punched in a number. With his heart in his throat, he pressed the phone to his ear and closed his eyes. He was going to hate every second of this and already regretted it, but he couldn’t do this right now. He was going to crack and he needed to stop if he was going to do right by this little shit.

When he just a second away from reaching the voicemail, the call was picked up and a confused voice answered on the other end, “Hello?” For a moment, Shigaraki considered hanging up and pretending this never happened, but then the baby started hiccuping from crying so hard and his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. It was now or never.

Chapter 6: What's in a name?

Notes:

Happy New Year and surprise! When Misty asked if I wanted to post early since she was almost finished with the beta for the next chapter, I jumped on it. This is the first thing I posted in the New Year! (And "heroes of the dark" was the last fanfic I was writing for in 2018 and first in 2019.) This is a chapter that I think everyone has been waiting for, if you can't already tell by the title. It also sheds more backstory on Uraraka. Her situation, while again not as extreme, is based off something I went through and I think is very relatable in your twenties and totally sucks. Also, I love her - and I love Shigaraki and his dumb whatever-it-is (FRIENDSHIP) with Touya. Bonus: calys-artsy-side drew Shigaraki and his lil bab for the fic and I'm still crying in the club about it.

Chapter Text

"You think this kind of stuff happens in other people's houses in the middle of the night and they're just too embarrassed to talk about it?"
- Burt Chance (Raising Hope, "What Up, Cuz?")

.

It had been a long ass time since Uraraka last had a day off. Things hadn’t been exactly thrilling, which meant that people were taking time off. With nothing really going on in her life, she had picked up the extra shifts. It never hurt to save up more money. When Ryukyu’s new agency had been set up in that area, it had been booming. The crime rate had been sky high for the radius, making her move ambitious. Things had quieted down since then, although they knew that generally meant something was about to happen in response. A rise in villains always corresponded with a rise in heroes. It was what it was.

Tonight, she had allowed herself to spend some time with her girls. It had been a while since she had been able to hang out with them. With all of them having insanely busy schedules, it was difficult enough to get one or two of them to hang out with, much less a group of them. Mina, Momo, and Tsu all worked in different areas of the country, Momo even working outside of Japan. Tsu spent most of her time out on the ocean while Mina worked at an agency about forty minutes away. They’d had to meticulously plan in order to get their schedules to line up for a night together. Poor Tooru had been called in at the last minute and Kyoko was still in the States.

Uraraka loved spending time with her girls, but sometimes she wished they weren’t so blunt. It wasn’t like they were in super happy committed relationships either.

“All I’m saying is that you need to get out there again!” Mina told her. She leaned back in her chair and sipped her sake. Tucked in a corner booth near the back of a nice restaurant, Uraraka didn’t have to worry about people listening in on them to dish gossip to hero magazines, but she still didn’t like talking about her personal life in great detail while out in public.

“I’m fine, really,” Uraraka insisted. “I’m too busy to date anyways. I’ve been really focused on work.”

Mina eyed her suspiciously. “Mmhm, and when’s the last time you got laid?”

Uraraka turned bright red. “Mina! I don’t think that’s important.”

“Oh my god.” Mina set her drink down and rocketed forward in her seat. “It hasn’t been since him, has it?” When Uraraka didn’t answer right away, Mina came to a quick, horrified, accurate assumption. “It has! Girl, you really need to get out there! Have some fun! Life can’t all be about work. Even he-”

“I know, I know!” Uraraka interrupted quickly, waving her hands in the air. Did they have to bring him up? They were finally on good terms again and she was happy for him. Yes, it hurt seeing him move on, but even though things hadn’t worked out between them, she valued their friendship and he still very much respected her.

Momo set down her glass of wine. “If you’re not ready, then you’re not ready. There’s no pressure on you to date. We’re all still quite young.”

“Yeah, that’s why she needs to go out there and live a little!” Mina pointed out, sounding sincerely concerned.

Tsu put a finger to her chin and thoughtfully added, “You did hide for a while and cut yourself off from everyone after you two broke up. That’s not healthy.”

Uraraka turned to face her best friend, a look of betrayal on her face. She had (mistakenly) thought Tsu would have her back, but instead, she called her out. Well, she should’ve expected that. Tsu was honest if nothing else. She had been her biggest support during the end of the relationship and after, even though it hadn’t been a horrifically painful breakup, all things considered. It was just that, well, she wasn’t really interested in anyone. She didn’t know if it stemmed from the sting of being the last to move on or just because she wasn’t in the mood.

“I’m not saying you need to sleep with the first guy who calls you back,” Mina continued in a tone far too serious for the topic, “but there’s not being in the mood to date and then there’s actively avoiding getting in the scene.” She pointed a finger at her. “And you, my darling, are doing the latter.”

“I’m not, I swear,” Uraraka replied.

“How long has it been since you flirted with someone?” Mina asked.

Uraraka shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” She honestly didn’t. She couldn’t recall the last instance.

“How long since someone has hit on you?”

“You know I never realize that until someone points it out to me!”

“Have you even gone on a date or hung out with a guy or anything since the break-up?”

It was frustrating to admit, but… “I haven’t… I just haven’t been interested in it, okay? It’s not that big of a deal. Lots of pro heroes don’t date. They don’t have time for it. Not everyone has to be engaged or in a committed relationship by the time they’re twenty-five. Maybe I want to focus on my career. Guys do it all the time.”

“And half of them are in serious relationships,” Tsu pointed out.

Her ex included. Uraraka huffed in frustration. This wasn’t fair. She knew her friends weren’t trying to gang up on her, but sometimes it was hard not to feel that way. They were concerned for her and it went beyond them trying to hook her up with somebody, although Mina did enjoy setting people up. They just wanted to make sure she wasn’t keeping to herself because she was unhappy. Since they all lived away from each other, it was harder to see one another and that meant Uraraka spent a lot of time alone. After living with someone, it had been harder than she wanted to admit.

“You can have both,” Tsu said.

“But we completely understand if you’re not interested in such relations,” Momo gently added before giving Mina a look telling her to keep quiet. “It’s difficult to balance our personal and professional lives at times, especially when they’re both so out in the open. I know it was a… rough and awkward time for you both after the break-up.”

“The tabloids had a field day,” Uraraka mumbled.

“It’s understandable that you would be hesitant to get involved with someone again after that,” Momo said. She was right. It had been mortifying. All she wanted to do was be a hero, help people, save lives, take down villains, to be an inspiration - not a source of gossip and late night entertainment. She’d thought it was over, but then he started dating someone else and the tabloids had made a mess of it all over again. He’d tried to apologize in his own way and she knew he'd done his best to keep it private, he preferred things that way, but it still hurt in a way she hadn’t anticipated.

Mina reached over and squeezed her hand on top of the table. “It could be worse. You could have gossip mags talking about how many pro heroes you’ve slept with. I’m finding out more people I’ve hooked up with every day. I’m glad they’re more up to date on my sex life than I am.”

It wasn’t that funny, but Uraraka still burst into laughter and pressed a hand over her mouth to stop herself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh.”

“No, go right ahead!” Mina giggled. “I think it’s hilarious. Who knew I was this popular with everyone? I get around.”

Momo had the decency to blush. “Some of the stuff they’ve written about you is shameful.”

“Most of it’s not true,” Mina replied with a wink, “so it doesn’t really bother me. I kind of get a kick out of it.”

Momo and Tsu laughed as Mina delved into the most recent tabloid story about her, which somehow involved her attempting to break up Mount Lady and Kumai Wood’s recent engagement. She worked at Mount Lady’s agency. It was fortunate for her that her boss knew the story was absolute crap. Apparently, they laughed about it a lot at work, although it was upsetting Kumai, so the agency was doing their best to discredit the rumor.

Uraraka was sitting back and listening, feeling better thanks to her friend’s story, when her phone rang and distracted her. She pulled it out of her jacket pocket, half expecting it to be work, and saw it was a number she didn’t recognize. Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out who it might be. Tsu gave her a curious look. Uraraka smiled and held up a finger as she got out of her seat and said, “I’ll be right back,” before walking to a quieter area of the restaurant.

After swiping to answer the call, she pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Uravity?”

That didn’t help her at all. Had some fan gotten ahold of her number? But the person on the other end sounded incredibly stressed and not happy to be speaking to her, so that thought didn’t make sense. Loud crying could be heard in the background as well. “Yes,” she replied warily. “Who-?”

“It’s Shigaraki.”

“Oh!” The crying made sense. It was his baby crying. Uraraka froze. Shigaraki was calling her. He was actually calling her. Sure, she’d given him her number in case he really needed help, but she hadn’t pictured him actually calling her. He seemed so insistent that he didn’t need anyone. However, if the call and the crying and the pained voice told her anything, it was that he’d finally caved to the realization that he did. “I told you. It’s Uraraka.”

“Didn’t know if you were working or not,” Shigaraki muttered, barely audible over the crying.

Uraraka glanced at her friends, still chatting and laughing, and then turned her back  to them. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” She bit her lip. “She sounds upset.”

“I-” Shigaraki took a sharp intake of breath as he seemingly prepared himself to tell the truth. “I hurt her.” Uraraka’s heart jumped into her throat, nearly choking her. “Not that way! Shit, I worded that so fucking stupidly. She scratched her face, so I tried to cut her nails and I did the first one right, but then the second one, I-I fucked up. And she won’t stop crying and I haven’t slept for more than an hour in the past three days or showered and I have to clean but she gets so pissed if I set her down for longer than five minutes and she’s bleeding and I don’t have bandaids small enough for fit her tiny fingers and who the fuck was I kidding when I thought-”

“It’s okay!” Uraraka jumped in, sensing the spiral he was falling into. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m pretty sure everyone does that at least once with their kids. My parents did that multiple times with me and they cried about it for hours. You didn’t mean to hurt her. You’re just exhausted and overwhelmed. It’s a natural part of parenthood.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Shigaraki said. “She’s inconsolable. She doesn’t even want me to hold her. She hates me. She’ll never trust me again, just like everybody else.”

Uraraka winced. “That’s not true.” She looked back at her friends again. They looked like they were having such a great time. Part of her wanted to soothe Shigaraki over the phone and get back with them, but then she knew she would keep stewing over this. Besides, they’d been here for a few hours already. In another hour or two, she’d be on her way back home. “Do you...want me to come over? I can bring over a first aid kit and give you a little break.”

Shigaraki took a shaky breath. “You don’t… Fuck, this is stupid. I shouldn’t have called. Forget it.”

“I will do no such thing,” Uraraka shot back. “You wouldn’t have called unless you truly needed help - even if it’s just a second pair of hands.” He grumbled something under his breath that she couldn’t make out over the cries, but chose to ignore it. She was right and he knew it. “I can be over there in, um, twenty minutes. I’m across town.”

“You’re not working?”

“No, you got lucky. It’s my day off.”

“And you aren’t doing anything?”

Uraraka stopped chewing her bottom lip when she met Tsu’s eyes. “I was actually on my way home.”

“Damnit,” Shigaraki swore, “this is so fucking ridiculous.” He couldn’t be more right. Was she really leaving a girls’ night early to help a former villain? “But it was either you, him, or Touya and I’m not about to call either one of them.” It struck her as curious that there was someone else besides Touya who he could’ve called and yet she was his first choice, but she knew better than to ask. “She just…”

“It’s fine,” Uraraka told him soothingly. “Remember: think of it as me helping her, not you, got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, got it.” And then he abruptly ended the call. She should’ve expected that.

Tsu looked up at her as she walked back into the room. “Is everything okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, everything’s all good. Ryukyu called asking if I could come in.” Uraraka wasn’t quite sure why she didn’t just tell them the truth (maybe because she knew they would disapprove), but she hadn’t told Deku or Todoroki about it either even though it somewhat involved them, or doubtlessly would at some point. It wouldn’t be long before Todoroki found out via his siblings and Deku always seemed to find out about things eventually.

She just... She didn’t want them to know about her involvement yet. They’d worry about her and she hated it when people did that. She knew they believed she could take care of herself, but that didn’t stop them.

“Aw, you’re leaving?” Mina pouted.

Uraraka smiled apologetically and said, “Duty calls,” as she laid out an appropriate amount of cash to pay her bill and gathered her stuff.

She didn’t want to say that she’d gotten better at lying, but well, growing up did that to a person. She’d tell them about it eventually. Right now, it just didn’t feel right, like it wasn’t her secret to tell. It was Shigaraki’s and she knew that he didn’t want people to know. She’d ask him if he was okay with her telling people tonight so she didn’t feel like she was lying or stepping on his toes.

After hugging the three girls and promising to text them if she finished early, Uraraka slipped out of the restaurant and headed in the direction of the nearest train stop. It was night, so the early fall weather was cool but soothing, but she knew it would get cold soon. Then those gloves of Shigaraki’s would be more appropriate.

She remembered the stop she got on after leaving his place and more or less remembered how to get back there. Traveling the area at night didn’t bother her. If a villain or petty criminal decided to attack her for some chump change, they’d get a sore lesson on why they shouldn’t hurt people. Uraraka was confident in her abilities, even if she was wearing a skirt, tights, and nice light sweater. It wouldn’t hinder her from kicking someone’s ass. She’d just look good while doing it.

I bet that would get me a date, Uraraka thought with an internal snort.

At the stop, she swung by the nearest convenience store to get some band-aids and Neosporin. Going to Shigaraki’s apartment building wasn’t nerve-wracking, but it certainly left her with that weird feeling again. She knew she was crazy for doing this, but she couldn’t say no when asked for help, especially when she also knew how desperate he must’ve been to actually call her. If she turned her back on this, then she really wasn’t a hero, was she? It was more than that though. She wouldn’t be a good person if she didn’t lend a hand and help someone in need. He had to be feeling low in order to resort to this.

When she reached his apartment, Uraraka knocked on the door and waited. She could hear the baby crying on the other side. Her heart picked up its pace. The poor thing sounded so upset. There was a bang and swearing before the door was unlocked and ripped open to reveal an incredibly frazzled Shigaraki. His light blue hair was a mess and he had dark circles under his eyes. The tension was obvious in his face as he tightly held the very angry and hurt baby against his chest.

Uraraka hadn’t even fully stepped inside before she reached out and took the baby from him. He willingly gave her over to her without so much as a "hello" and stepped aside to let her sweep into the place. There wasn’t really a need for greetings when there was a crying baby involved. Sitting down on the couch, she laid the baby down next to her and set to work cleaning the wound while Shigaraki stood back and watched, running a hand through his hair and turning it into even more of a disaster site. The cut wasn’t that bad, but blood coming from a baby always looked horrific because of how tiny they were. In less than a minute, the baby’s finger was cleaned and bandaged and Uraraka had pulled her into her arms.

“How bad was it?” Shigaraki asked. “It looked like I clipped her fingertip off.”

“She’ll be fine,” Uraraka told him. She stood up and began to walk around the room and bounce, cooing soft words under her breath, until, slowly but surely, the little one calmed down. Her eyes and cheeks were red and wet from the effort and she sounded out of breath. All that crying had exhausted her. Uraraka looked over at Shigaraki. “Why don’t you go take a shower or bath? I’ve got her.”

“Do I look that bad?”

Uraraka smiled. “Worse than the wound.” Shigaraki scowled but didn’t fight her on that. He probably knew he looked rough. Without another word, he turned on his heels and walked into his bedroom. A moment later, with a handful of fresh clothes and a towel, he walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom, casting a suspicious glance at her. She rolled her eyes. “I’m not gonna run off with your baby while you’re in the shower.”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow and then shut the door. She listened as the water began to run and the old pipes seemingly ached from use. When she moved to lay the baby down, she immediately started squirming and whining, so Uraraka ended that before it even began. Looking around, she saw the bag with the baby carrier still in the box and fought the urge to roll her eyes again. No wonder he hadn’t been able to get anything done. The place was littered with empty energy drinks and takeout boxes. He must have not have left the apartment since they went shopping.

The baby was not happy to be set down, but Uraraka worked quickly at taking the baby carrier out of the box. It was a little clunky and confusing at first, but she figured it out and was able to put it on soon enough. The baby was pretty wiggly and hard to manage, but she slid her into the carrier so she was pressed against her chest without resorting to using her quirk. She didn’t know how that would affect a baby’s equilibrium and wasn’t about to test it to find out. After a few adjustments, both of them were comfortable and Uraraka waved her hands around to test how much freedom she had.

It was perfect. A few minutes later, the baby was out cold. Uraraka smiled to herself. Success .

With the baby taken care of, Uraraka set about picking up the place. It wasn’t like she was going to deep clean the apartment, but even a little help would do it some wonders. First, she found a bag and put all the trash in it. Using her quirk, she made the bag float behind her so it was easier with the baby. Before long, everything was gathered up and set aside by the front door. She’d take the trash out, but she was pretty sure Shigaraki would flip his shit if he walked out of the bathroom and she wasn’t in sight.

Thanks to moving things aside and putting stuff up, it wasn’t long before the place actually didn’t look too bad. It could still do with some more light. Maybe he just needed a new lightbulb or another lamp. She found a broom in a closet and was sweeping the floor when Shigaraki stepped out of the bathroom in fresh clothes, toweling his hair dry.

He froze the second he spotted her and blurted out, “What are you doing?”

Uraraka stilled, broom in hand. “Um, helping.”

“You’re cleaning ,” Shigaraki stressed. Well, duh, what else would she be doing with a broom? It wasn’t like she was a witch. “And you look ridiculous with that thing on.”

“I think I look great,” Uraraka proclaimed, putting a hand on her hip and showing off the carrier. “And look!” She propped up the broom against the fridge and lifted her hands, wiggling her fingers. “Two hands! I told you this thing would come in handy, but you didn’t even attempt it.”

Shigaraki gave her a look of consternation and muttered, “Still looks ridiculous.” He walked over to his bedroom, opening the door and tossing the towel inside. She’d cleaned the living room and kitchen, but she hadn’t been about to venture in there. It probably wasn’t anything different from the rest of the apartment, but one didn’t just walk into people’s bedrooms without permission. It was weird and this was weird enough as it was.

“I can take out the trash?” Uraraka offered.

“No, I got it,” Shigaraki grumbled. “Wish I could just toss it into the dumpster off the fire escape.”

Uraraka looked over to the only window in the room. “Is it right below it?”

He nodded. Feeling like he needed something to lighten his exhausted mood, an idea popped into her head. She grabbed the trash bags, activated her quirk on them, and pulled them over to the window. It opened far easier than it should have (he really needed to get that fixed) and she awkwardly peered through it to see where the dumpster was. Indeed, it was right next to it, and open as well. That was dangerous but convenient for now. She gently pushed the bags out the window so they were floating above the dumpster.

Shigaraki snorted. “Seriously?”

“When you can float things, you get really good at aiming, too,” Uraraka pointed out. “You don’t want to land in the wrong spot.” She pressed her fingers together. “Quarter release.”

Instead of returning their entire gravity to them so they dropped quickly, Uraraka managed about a fourth of its gravity so that the bags slowly floated down to the dumpster. When they were close to where she wanted, she fully released her quirk and they plopped safely into the bin. She spun around and smiled proudly. Shigaraki gave her a flat, unimpressed look in return. It didn’t bother her in the slightest. It wasn’t like it was that clever, even though it had taken her until her third year to manage her quirk like that.

Once he tugged his gloves back on, Shigaraki held out his hands and Uraraka knew without him even saying anything that he wanted his daughter back. It was kind of sweet - the way he automatically wanted her even after holding her almost non-stop for three days. Either that or he didn’t like a stranger and pro hero holding her. He seemed quite protective of her. Carefully extracting the baby from the carrier, Uraraka walked over to him and handed her over. He gently laid her down on a blanket that Uraraka had laid out earlier.

“She hasn’t done tummy time yet today,” Shigaraki explained.

Uraraka almost beamed. “You’ve been doing your research.”

“There’s not much else to do but read on my phone while she sleeps on me,” Shigaraki dryly replied before lowering himself to the ground. The babies she had seen growing up had never liked being on their stomach, but his baby girl didn’t seem to mind. She laid there, kind of relaxed as he poked her side and then rubbed her back, somewhat thoughtful expressions on both their faces. It was easy to tell they were related with those mirroring looks, especially with the telltale mole on the edges of their chins.

After a moment of hesitation, Uraraka followed suit and sat down on the other side, folding her legs underneath her so her skirt flared out. Neither one of them spoke, just watched the baby gurgle and push herself a little with her feet. She was too young to crawl, but she could sort of scoot.

“You look nice,” Shigaraki abruptly said, still focused on the baby.

Uraraka startled and jerked her eyes up to him. “Eh?”

“I mean, you’re dressed nice,” Shigaraki amended, his eyes flickering up to her briefly before going back to his kid. “You said you were on your way home, but you were in the middle of something, weren’t you?” She didn’t know why it embarrassed her, but she nodded her head reluctantly. A stony look fell over his face. “You didn’t have to come. I don’t need your pity. You shouldn’t have left your date to come here and clean my place. I should be able to take care of this on my own.”

“It wasn’t a date!” Uraraka jumped in to explain. “I was just hanging out with my friends. It was nearing the end of the night. They always start getting onto me about dating by then, so I was planning on leaving soon anyway.”

“Sounds annoying,” Shigaraki said.

“It can be,” Uraraka admitted, “but it’s only because they care.”

“At least I don’t have to worry about that,” Shigaraki said, half to himself. He was so focused on the baby, but she could tell that he was tired as well. Honestly, he looked like he could lay down on the floor and fall asleep. Maybe she should offer to watch his girl while he took a nap. She had work in the morning, but she could stay for a few hours. He deserved some rest. “Pretty sure a baby is going to deter anyone from wanting to date me - you know, other than the fact that I’m me. I seem to only attract villains and that kind of breaks the terms of my parole.”

Uraraka placed her hands on her knees, arms straight, and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. A lot of women find men with kids very attractive. It’s that maternal instinct, I think.” Shigaraki dragged his eyes up to look at her again and she had to fight the urge to blush as he examined her carefully. He obviously didn’t believe her for one second. She cleared her throat and returned her attention to the baby. “You know, you never did tell me her name. I don’t believe it’s To Be Determined.”

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in irritation. “Her serial killer mom named her ‘Princess’.”

“What?” Laughter began to sputter out of Uraraka and she had to slam her hands over her mouth to stop herself.

“It’s so fucking stupid,” Shigaraki griped, “but it’s not like she was full of bright ideas to begin with. She knew who I was and still slept with me and then thought dropping the baby off with me while she kept killing people was smart.”

It struck her that he didn’t exactly have a high opinion of himself, but this wasn’t the time to bring it up. She was here to help him with his baby, not his self-esteem. Besides, despite knowing her worth, that was something she still struggled with at times and it frustrated her to no end.

“What have you been calling her then?” Uraraka asked, steering the conversation back into safer waters. “It can’t just be ‘baby’ or ‘it’.”

For the first time today, Shigaraki looked a little embarrassed and even avoided her gaze. “I’ve kinda been referring to her as ‘Zelda’ in my head since, you know, the whole Princess thing.”

“Oh my god!” Uraraka exclaimed, laughing all over again. “You’re such a nerd!”

“It’s a cool name!” Shigaraki shot back defensively.

“You can’t name her that,” Uraraka told him, shaking her head. “She’ll be teased her entire life. That’s almost as bad as ‘Princess’.”

Shigaraki glowered at her, clearly annoyed that she didn’t like his idea. It was funny, even if he didn’t think it was. “You got any suggestions? Don’t most girls think up baby names when they’re younger?”

“I can’t name her. She’s your daughter.” Uraraka looked down at the baby. She did want kids - she’d known that since she was little, just as he had suggested - but she’d never really thought about it in detail. Having children was always this vague sort of future concept that she couldn’t quite fathom. “To be honest, I never really thought of baby names. They’re just something I know I want one day, but who knows when that will be. Kids were a topic that never really came up.”

Until they were and then she found herself at odds with the person she was with. It wasn’t his fault and she knew that, but it still made her feel awkward thinking about it. Nope, she was here to focus on Shigaraki and his baby. Wow, the world really was strange. She could not make this stuff up.

“So come on, you’ve got to have some ideas,” Uraraka prompted, “other than Zelda, I mean.”

Shigaraki tapped a finger on his knee. She couldn’t help but notice the gloves. Did he wear them all the time now or was it because of the baby? It couldn’t be comfortable to wear them constantly. When her quirk had first manifested, she had been forced to wear gloves so she wouldn’t float everything. It had taken her a while to get used to holding things with four fingers or less, but she got there eventually. It had to have been similar for him with his quirk, but he seemed okay using five fingers nowadays, although she caught him slipping up here and there. She wasn’t sure if he was conscious of it. She knew it was an unconscious habit for her these days.

“Yuna?” Shigaraki suggested.

Uraraka frowned. “Isn’t that a character from Final Fantasy?” Shigaraki stopped tapping his finger and sat up straight, shocked that she’d called him out. She grinned at him. “I do play video games. The old school Final Fantasy games are super pretty.”

“Alright, what about Kasumi?” Shigaraki asked.

“That one’s easy!” Uraraka declared, lifting up a knowing finger. “Dead or Alive. I like playing games with female main characters.”

Shigaraki’s lips twitched, like he couldn’t decide between a frown or a smile. “Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of Pokemon.”

“Stop it!” Uraraka laughed.

Humming thoughtfully, Shigaraki offered, “Azura?”

“Hm.” Uraraka tapped a finger to her lips. “I don’t know that one.” She gave him a disappointed look. “Are you really going to name her after a video game character?” He shrugged his shoulders. “You can’t be serious.”

“Unlike you, I never once pictured having kids, so I didn’t think I’d be in this boat,” Shigaraki retorted, although there wasn’t any heat in his voice. No, she couldn’t picture him talking or even thinking about wanting kids back in his League of Villains days. There wasn’t really room for that and it wasn’t like he had been given a warm image of what a family should be like growing up. “The most I did was come up with names for my characters in an RPG and Noumu. As you can imagine, naming a kid is a little different than naming a creature made up of various quirks.”

His dry, dark comments about his time in the League caught her off guard. She wasn’t sure if it was an attempt to keep her at an arm’s length distance, a legitimate defense mechanism, or his actual sense of humor. Todoroki sometimes said things that threw her off as well, although she’d come to expect that humor from him. She just hadn’t expected Shigaraki to, well, talk about those days.

“Alright, if my ideas are such shit, then you come up with something,” Shigaraki told her, waving a hand. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll come up with something I like and you can say you helped name a former villain’s kid.”

Uraraka brought her fingers together and tapped them in a sequence. “I can’t really think of anything…”

“C’mon,” Shigaraki drawled. “You sure you never looked up names and thought, ‘Oh that would be nice for the baby girl I have when I’m happily married’ ?”

The urge to reach over and shove him came up, but she ignored it. Again, she didn’t think he was the type of person that liked it when people were physical with him. Well, that wasn’t completely right. Apparently, under certain and specific circumstances, he didn’t mind it at all, if the baby lying in between them was any indication. They weren’t that familiar with each other though. A few years ago, she’d done everything in her power to keep away from him so he couldn’t touch her. Getting disintegrated didn’t sound fun.

“Stop being such an ass,” Uraraka told him, although she wasn’t actually irritated. Okay, so maybe she had grown up thinking about what it would be like to be in love and married. How could she not, with parents who were so in love with each other even during the rough times? It was impossible not to see them and want something like that.

Shigaraki mock-scoffed before stating, “I’m not-” but he was unfortunately interrupted by the front door opening.

The change was so quick that Uraraka almost got whiplash. He went from almost impassive and calm to tense and ready to fight in a second flat, whipping around in the direction of the door and already in the process of tearing off one of his gloves. It forced Uraraka to react by clenching her hands into fists. However, a second later, when his eyes landed on the person frozen in the doorway, all of the tension bled out of him, replaced with a deep scowl and dismissive aura.

“What the hell do you want?” Shigaraki demanded as he turned back to look down at his baby.

“I think the better question is what the hell are you doing with a pro hero in your apartment?” Touya Todoroki retorted, an eyebrow arched in a detached but curious manner. His eyes roved over her in a way that definitely reminded her of Todoroki. It was hard to tell what he was thinking too beyond possible derision. Even if he wasn’t a villain anymore, it seemingly hadn’t improved his feelings towards heroes much, aside from his little brother.

It briefly occurred to Uraraka that this very situation was one her friends would be worried about had she told them she was leaving to help Shigaraki. Here she was, a hero sitting in an apartment with two former villains who had tried to kill her. This was beyond absurd. They weren’t going to hurt her. They were done with that. Todoroki didn’t have an issue being around his oldest brother or him living with their sister. This was fine. She highly doubted they would break the conditions of their parole by messing with her. They weren’t villains anymore, just everyday citizens.

Then again, while it was easier to believe that when looking at Shigaraki, especially when he was with his daughter, it was a bit harder when faced with Touya, who still bore the severe scars that marked him as the villain formerly known as Dabi. He’d been forced to have them healed to a certain degree to stave off the constant threat of infection, but no amount of a healing quirk could completely fix him nor did he seem interested in it. Or in changing his demeanor.

Touya held up his hands. “Whatever. It’s your business. I don’t give a shit.”

“Then why are you here?” Shigaraki asked again. “Come to check up on me and make sure no one’s died?”

“Nope, I’m definitely here to steal one of your controllers,” Touya responded. “Mine broke.”

Shigaraki snorted. “You mean you melted it again after rage quitting.”

“Same difference.” Touya walked over to the small entertainment system (which was really just a table with television and gaming system on top) and snagged one of the extra controllers. Did he really just... break into Shigaraki’s apartment like it was no big deal? This was getting weirder by the second. “So what are you all up to? You look positively domestic. It’s kind of gross.”

“He’s trying to come up with a name for the baby,” Uraraka said, finally finding her voice. It wasn’t that she was afraid to talk. Their dynamic was just so...interesting. They were very obviously friends, but she doubted either one of them would cop to such a thing. The push and pull between them flowed and they knew each other quite well. They had been through a lot together - some of the roughest times of their life - from what some might consider the highest villainy to at least some form of redemption. It was a journey that had to have created a bond between them, no matter how much they denied it.

How sweet. Idiots, the both of them.

Touya stepped over them to peer down at the baby. “I kind of like Princess Shigaraki.”

“That’s because you’re a bastard with no taste,” Shigaraki shot back.

A grin worked its way onto Touya’s face. “Better taste in hookups than you, apparently.” Shigaraki moved to shove him, but Touya stepped back before he could get hit. They weren’t afraid of each other in the slightest. In fact, teasing Shigaraki brought some brightness to Touya’s typically bored and judgemental personality. “Any luck so far? He’s not known for picking out good names. You should’ve heard some of the stuff he came up with for the Nomus before we vetoed them.”

“They weren’t that bad,” Shigaraki complained.

Touya looked at the baby as if it was legally required to stay at least ten feet away from him. Did he not know what to do with babies, like Shigaraki, or did he just not like them? He was the oldest brother of four kids, but that didn’t mean he was good with them or wanted anything to do with them. It wasn’t like the Todoroki household had given way to a normal childhood anyway.

“What about Sasuke?” Touya suggested.

“Now you’re trying to piss me off on purpose!” Shigaraki griped as Uraraka had to stop herself from sputtering again. Out of all the things she’d been prepared to hear Touya say, suggesting not only an anime character, but one who had been reduced to a meme, as a namesake for Shigaraki’s daughter was not one of them. He was not amused at all, especially not with that shit-eating grin back on Touya’s face. “Goddamn, you’re the worst.”

“I’m only trying to help,” Touya replied in a tone that was so overtly innocent it made him sound guilty.

“You’re trying to test my patience is what you’re doing,” Shigaraki snapped. He waved a hand at him. “If you’re not going to be any help, then get out - and don’t melt that controller or you’re buying me a new one again.”

“I still think that’s bullshit since you’re the one that gets a discount,” Touya said, shaking his head.

Shigaraki gave him an incredulous look. “I’m not replacing something of mine that you broke simply because you’re shit at games and can’t stand losing.”

“You’ve disintegrated four controllers,” Touya stated. “You don’t have any room to talk.”

Uraraka felt so weird, like an outsider sitting in the audience watching a play on stage. In her mind, she had known there was more to the League than simply a group of villains, but it was something else altogether to watch Shigaraki and Touya interact with one another as normal people. No, they weren’t villains anymore, but both of them knew their past would be tied to them in some way. It was unavoidable. They’d shaken so much up. The way heroes were ranked had been changed thanks to them and quite a few heroes had fallen to the wayside or even retired.

Touya held up the controller. “Well, I got what I came here for and the wiggle worm is still alive and looks content, so Fuyumi will be relieved.” He turned his attention back to Uraraka, who was reminded of just how piercing his gaze could be. It must’ve been a Todoroki thing, although, if she remembered correctly, Todoroki had mentioned that he did not like anyone referring to him by that name. He’d rather be called Dabi than by his surname. “I guess I’ll leave him in your hands, Uravity.” She didn’t bother correcting him. He seemed like the type that would continue to use her hero name to keep his distance. “Don’t let him name her after one of his video game waifus.”

Shigaraki clenched his hands into fists, looking like he was considering grabbing the nearest thing (aside from the baby) and chucking it at Touya. He didn’t do anything. Instead, he relaxed his hands and turned away from him. “Tell Fuyumi not to worry so much.”

“Are you kidding me?” Touya scoffed as he walked to the door. “That’s all she does. She’s one big ball of worry.”

“That’s because she’s gotta care for two people since you don’t give a shit about anything,” Shigaraki said. It actually kind of sounded like he was relatively close with Todoroki’s sister as well. This was certainly an eye-opening visit. So he did have people to help him. He probably hadn’t wanted the few people he was close to knowing that he had been struggling so much. As an outsider, Uraraka was a safe bet. Seeing as how no one else had bothered him as far as she knew, he had probably come to the conclusion that she hadn’t told anyone his little secret.

Touya hesitated at the door and sighed. “Fuyumi said we’re having dinner Friday night. You should come. I think it’s just an excuse for her to see the baby. I swear, if she gets baby fever, I’m gonna murder you.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Shigaraki replied vaguely. That was in two days. It would likely be the first time he would venture outside with the baby since that first night. He had to do it eventually.

After giving him one last look and briefly glancing at her with that same consideration, Touya shook his head and stepped out of the apartment, shutting the door behind him. An admittedly awkward silence fell over Shigaraki and Uraraka as they remained silent in the wake of Touya’s very unexpected visit. Uraraka tried not to think about what that look had meant. It had been something more than suspicious, although she was certain that Touya didn’t trust her with Shigaraki or the baby. It was ironic, all things considered.

“You should go,” Uraraka abruptly said. The look in Shigaraki’s eyes was both questioning and judgemental. He was really bad about letting people in - not that she didn’t blame him - but it was worse than Bakugou and that had taken her a while to break through. “To the dinner, I mean. It’ll be good for you and her to get out of the apartment. If you stay in here, you’ll start to lose it and get resentful. Plus, socialization is good for babies.”

“And for former villains?” Shigaraki added.

Uraraka pressed her lips together and huffed. “Yeah, and for former villains.” She shook her head. “You don’t need to keep reminding me. Trust me, I remember - it’s not something I can just forget - but you should stop tying that to yourself. You’re someone else now, aren’t you?”

Shigaraki took a deep breath. He must’ve decided it wasn’t worth arguing with her. It made her kind of sad. Did he not think he was worth it? How many other people felt this way? Society did put a lot of pressure on people concerning their quirks - their strengths, their weaknesses - and many people felt as if they were only valued as much as their quirk was worth. Becoming a hero had been idealistic and she’d managed to fulfill that dream, but a lot of people weren’t even given the opportunity to do anything.

“What about Yukiko?” Shigaraki asked.

Uraraka blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in subject. “Oh, um.” She twisted her lips in thought. Yukiko. It had to be from a video game, but she couldn’t place it. Besides, compared to Zelda and Azura, it was a fairly normal name. It had a nice ring to it. “I like it! It’s cute.”

“Cute,” Shigaraki repeated slowly. “Yeah?”

“What’s her last name gonna be?” Uraraka asked.

Shigaraki frowned. “I don’t know.”

“Well, you don’t have to make a decision right away,” Uraraka told him.

It sounded like there was more to the story than he wanted to let on. She knew thanks to the trial that his last name was not actually Shigaraki, but if she was being honest, it was hard to think of him as anything else. Tenko Shimura. It sounded odd after thinking of him this way for so long, just like referring to Dabi as Touya. Would he use that last name for her? He didn’t even go by it. Would she have her mother’s?

The baby - Yukiko - began to fuss, no longer entertained with being on the ground and tired of lying on her stomach. Out of instinct, Uraraka reached down to pick her up, but bumped hands with Shigaraki, who had done the same. She mumbled an apology that he either didn’t hear or ignored and pulled her hands back, letting him pick up his daughter. It was like he was still in the stage of parenthood where he felt compelled to always be the one to hold his child and was hesitant to let other people do it.

Once she was in his arms, Yukiko quieted down, although she was still acting fussy. “Is she sleepy?”

“She has to be,” Shigaraki muttered. “She won’t sleep for longer than twenty minutes unless she’s being held.”

“Which means you’re holding her a lot, aren’t you?” Uraraka quipped. Shigaraki gave her a flat look but didn’t deny it either. Poor guy wasn’t getting a break at all. She smoothed out her skirt even though it was already straight. “Would you want to take a nap? I could watch her for a few hours while you-”

“No.”

Uraraka sank back on her legs. “It wouldn’t be a problem-”

“No,” Shigaraki repeated, a little firmer this time. “You should go back to whatever you were doing - hanging out with your friends, having fun, whatever.”

“They’re probably already done by now.”

Holding Yukiko tighter against him, Shigaraki awkwardly got back to his feet and stood up straight. There was no way to do that gracefully. Uraraka peered up at him, not moving. “I don’t need any more help.” He twisted his lips into a grimace, as if admitting he’d needed it in the first place was painful and disgusted him. “I...appreciate you coming over so last minute, but you don’t need to do anything else.”

“You’re so fucking difficult,” Uraraka huffed.

Shigaraki gave her an alarmed look. He clearly hadn’t anticipated her to swear. She knew what she looked like. As she got older, she got a little lither and more muscular, but it would never erase that “cuteness” that people always remarked on when her appearance came up. She’d been referred to as “cute” often enough in the news for it not phase her anymore. It always made villains underestimate her, which put her at an advantage. She wondered if Shigaraki had ever thought that about her or if she’d not been on his radar enough to consider.

“You need to sleep. You need to eat. You need to shower. You need to clean.” Uraraka got to her feet, straightening out her clothes. “What are you gonna do when you have to go back to work? When you need to go to the store?”

A defiant gleam shined in Shigaraki’s red eyes. “I’ll-”

“Figure it out, I know,” Uraraka cut in, putting her hands on her hips. “You keep doing that and then in a few days you’ll probably find yourself desperate again.” He opened up his mouth, but she continued on relentlessly, “And it’s not a bad thing! You’re not doing anything wrong! Two people have trouble enough with one baby, but you’re doing this on your own and you’re refusing help until the last second. Stop being such a stubborn idiot.”

Shigaraki pressed his chapped lips together. “Is this how you talk to everyone who once tried to kill you?”

“Pretty sure you tried to kill me more than once,” Uraraka shot back and then she poked him in the chest. She knew he didn’t like it when people touched him - she could see it in the way he held himself at a distance, even when he’d worn his villain costume with all those creepy hands - but it was like he needed a few facts smacked into him. “And would you stop with that? It’s obnoxious. I get it. You’re Tomura Shigaraki, former leader of the League of Villains, the guy who used to haunt all our dreams, but turns out is a huge nerd, retail worker, and a desperate single father.”

Honestly, she didn’t know what had come over her, but she was tired of it. She could feel him shoving her away and, not that she wanted to get closer to him, it was frustrating to feel him do that when she also could see how much help he did need. He’d been trying to do things on his own for so long. The only person he’d had any guidance from had turned out to be a megalomaniac using him for his own means. It was no wonder he shied away from any offer of help; he probably spent hours analyzing whether there was an ulterior motive before deciding to accept it or not.

“Goddamn…” Shigaraki shook his head in defeat. “Alright, fine, you win.” He walked to the small kitchenette to fetch a pre-made bottle out of the fridge. “Does anyone win arguments with you or do you always barrel your way through?”

He could ask Bakugou, but then she didn’t think that conversation would go over very well. It was partly thanks to him that she’d become so adamant and stubborn in her own right. It wasn’t a bad thing, she didn’t think, but she was much less likely to put up with bullshit now. She wouldn’t put up with him whenever he threw a fit and she wasn’t about to put up with Shigaraki’s shit either. He had a lot on his plate, but she wasn’t going to let him walk all over her either. If Touya was any indication, he needed someone that could push him back in return.

Uraraka softened when she noticed how tense he was. “I’m just saying: if you need a babysitter or something, like I said before, you can call me. I don’t really do much outside of work since a lot of my friends live away. A lot of Netflix and obsessive cleaning or going to the gym. It’s thrilling.”

“And how would your friends feel about you helping me out?” Shigaraki countered.

“I don’t know.” Uraraka shrugged her shoulders. “Who says they have to know? I’m not gonna tell everyone about your stuff if you don’t want people to know.”

Shigaraki considered her for a moment, thinking it over. She wouldn’t tell anyone if he didn’t want people to know, although they both knew it wouldn’t be long before more people found out. “Could you...watch her on Saturday morning?” It looked like it physically pained him to ask, but at least he did. “Just so I can get some shit done. There’s a boatload of paperwork involved in a baby, especially when it turns out there’s no official record of her existence.”

“Sure,” Uraraka replied, a soft smile on her face. “I’m working a night shift that day, so it won’t be a problem.”

“Seriously?”

Uraraka shrugged. “This is a ten-fifteen minute jog to the agency. I can just go straight to work after.”

For a moment, Shigaraki looked at a loss of words as he fed Yukiko, his mind on too many things at once. Not that she could blame him since she wasn’t sure why she was so adamant about helping. This was an extraordinarily unusual circumstance.

To be honest, this was normally Deku’s area. She could definitely see him doing something like this. He helped people even before they realized they needed help, sometimes before he knew they needed it too. Maybe that was partly why she was. Even after all these years, he was such an inspiration, even more so now that he had taken the number one hero rank. Her view of him had evolved quite a bit over time, but her admiration of him had never ended.

“I’m not good at this,” Shigaraki finally said.

“I don’t think anyone is the perfect parent immediately,” Uraraka pointed out.

“No, I’m not good at…” Shigaraki waved a hand at her, which took her back. She wasn’t sure exactly what he meant or how she was supposed to take that, except she didn’t think he was insulting her. Maybe not. “You know, asking for help. Making, ah, connections.”

Uraraka raised an eyebrow. “Friends?”

Shigaraki snorted. Okay, not friends then. Connections. That didn’t sound weird. Then again, that was what this whole situation was. She couldn’t say that she was becoming friends with him anyway, not when he held her at an arm’s length and she was honestly hesitant to try to break down those walls. Sometimes they were up for a good reason. If he was doing this to protect himself and his daughter, she could understand that. If he was doing it simply because he didn’t like her, well, that was fine too. He didn’t have to like her.

She could be acquaintances with him though. His daughter’s babysitter? Is that what he would call her if Touya asked? Yukiko was such a cute and sweet baby. From what she had heard and seen so far, it looked like she might have inherited Shigaraki’s penchant for temper tantrums and being dramatic, but then again, a lot of babies were like that so they got their point across.

Oh, shit, she hadn’t even thought about the consequences of Touya seeing her here. What if he told Fuyumi or Shouto before she got the chance to tell him? The shit storm that hit her would be massive if her friends had to find out via a reformed villain.

It still didn’t inspire her to pull out her phone and send a quick explanation. The fact that he hadn’t said he didn’t mind if people knew told her enough. He didn’t want people to know, not yet. Eventually, he would have to relinquish that bit of privacy, especially once things became official and he got more out and about with her. People would see him with a baby girl and questions would be asked. That wasn’t even counting all the reporters that would probably hound him, even more so if word of who the mother was got out.

Speaking of which, Uraraka needed to look that up. It was highly tempting to use her authority as a hero to gain a little more access to the information surrounding her and the arrest, but no, she wouldn’t do it. She’d go about the same channels as everyone. Would she ask around? Maybe. What? She was insanely curious.

There was a lot going on right now, all due to this baby.

“I’ve got this covered,” Shigaraki told her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

For a second, Uraraka didn’t know what to say and then she realized he was effectively kicking her out. She would say he was too polite to do so, but she had a feeling he was about to if she didn’t catch the first hint. “Oh, um, right.” When she took a step towards him, he started to take a step back and she stopped. “Relax. I’m not gonna try to hug you or anything.”

“I knew that,” Shigaraki mumbled.

“Sure you did,” Uraraka replied. She continued forward until she was right in front of him and then smoothed a hand down Yukiko’s head. She was still intent on draining the bottle of formula. “You better sleep for your papa, Yukiko. It’s not nice to keep him up. I’ll see you on Saturday. We’ll have a girls’ morning.” She took a step back, giving him the space she knew he preferred. “You should try to give her a warm bath after she eats. It might help her sleep.”

Shigaraki took a deep breath. “I’ll try anything at this point.” Uraraka gave him an encouraging smile. He groaned out a simple but very emphatic, “Ugh,” at her in return.

“See ya Saturday,” Uraraka said as she waved and walked to the front door Touya had vanished through earlier. True to his nature, Shigaraki didn’t say goodbye, but nodded his head, his hands a little full at the moment. This time, when she started down the stairs, she didn’t feel as bad, even though she’d come over here due to a panicked call. He was struggling, but he actually wasn’t doing as bad as she’d dreaded. He was fairing like every other parent. It wasn’t bad.

Maybe Shigaraki really had this. It would be a constant struggle, but that was life. It would get easier on some days and on others it would get worse. A lot of parenthood had to do with common sense, from what she’d seen so far, and she knew that he wasn’t stupid by any means. He was more intelligent than most people, even if he had chosen the villain route or it had chosen him.

The same could be said of fatherhood.

Chapter 7: You know he has a kid now?

Notes:

I don't write from his POV often, but I love writing Deku. Because this is how my brain works and it's something awful and wonderful at the same time. Also, Shouto continues to be one of the funniest characters ever. Be prepared for unexpected Todoroki fam feels. Touya has been flippant if nothing else.

Chapter Text

Working overseas was one of the strangest parts about being a hero. To be honest, Midoriya hadn’t thought about it much, although he knew All Might had spent time in the States as a transfer student and later on as pro hero. It simply hadn’t occurred to him that being a hero would mean spending so much time away from home. There was also the added pressure of being the number one hero. If there was no rest for the wicked, then there certainly wasn’t any rest for the top heroes.

Deku was in his mid-twenties and had reached the same point as All Might, but that didn’t mean he could slack off. He was an oddity, seeing as how he didn’t have an established hero agency of his own yet. Unlike Todoroki and Bakugou, he wasn’t in a rush regarding that. He had been after graduation, but after he took a job overseas, he came to the conclusion that he could do more work if he wasn’t tied down to any one place. An agency meant being stagnant - it meant a certain type of responsibility - and he didn’t want that. It wasn’t his path.

He did miss home though. Calls, texts, facetime, snapchat, and emails could only do so much to keep the homesickness at bay. He did his best to stay in the know about things happening in and around his hometown, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to catch everything. Some news was bound to spring up on him and surprise him in the worst way. That was just the way it was and had been since high school. It was like he was the main protagonist in an anime. News just seemed to follow him.

Now that he was back home, Deku couldn’t wait to take a break. It wouldn’t be a long one - potentially less than two or three days - but he needed it after dealing with a crisis in China. What he wanted more than anything was some homemade katsudon from his mother, a reassuring pat on the shoulder from All Might (who, in his slightly healthier thin form, was still somehow taller than him), and hugs from his closest friends. It had been too long since he’d seen them and he missed them greatly - Uraraka’s bright smile, Iida’s encouraging words, Todoroki’s impassive but sly looks, and even Bakugou’s explosive behavior. He missed them all.

His mother and All Might didn’t know he was due home today, so Deku had thought to surprise them. It was the little things that counted. His mom would probably cry upon seeing him, but he’d learned at an early age that some tears were good and it was important not to hold them in. He wasn’t upset with his mother for teaching him to be free with his crying. Being in touch with his emotions had helped him with villains more times than he could count. Other heroes could stand to do with such compassion.

After carefully unlocking the front door to the house, Deku set his travel bag down and tiptoed through the house. He wasn’t as small as he used to be, but he knew how to keep quiet thanks to training under Aizawa during high school. A hero couldn’t always burst into places in order to do what needed to be done. Eraserhead's style relied much more on stealth, which came in handy with his shooter style moves. He knew All Might was there because of his car in the driveway, but the muffled voices from the kitchen told him that he and his mother were having some sort of discussion over tea.

“...don’t know how he’ll handle it,” All Might was saying, frustration evident in his voice.

“He’s proven to be strong before,” his mother replied.

“I don’t know,” All Might sighed. “This is something different entirely. And he won’t accept help. It’s a terrible mixture of stubbornness and pride. I don’t know what to do with him.”

His mother laughed lightly. “Sounds like someone I know.”

“It would be funny if there wasn’t a life involved,” All Might grumbled. His voice was barely loud enough for Deku to make out even though he was standing right outside the door.

The whole conversation was odd. Deku furrowed his brow in thought. What were they talking about? More importantly, who were they talking about? There were only a few people in the world that made All Might sound like that and he was one of them. Kacchan was another, although he refused to admit it. The other person - the one none of them liked to talk about - was Tomura Shigaraki.

“Who knows?” his mother replied soothingly. “He might surprise you.”

“I hope so,” All Might said. “I don’t expect him to be perfect by any means. Not everyone is a superhero like you-”

“Oh hush!” his mother giggled.

“-but on the list of things Shigaraki is ready for right now, single fatherhood is not one of them,” All Might finished.

Midoriya nearly fell on his face. Single what now? Shigaraki was...a father?

Unable to hide any longer, bursting with enough energy to make him feel like he was back to figuring out One for All again, Midoriya stumbled into the living room and exclaimed in an embarrassingly hysterical voice, “Shigaraki’s a dad?”

All Might nearly spilled his tea on his lap as he practically yelped, “Izuku!” Only his mother’s quirk saved the hot cup from tipping over, floating it into her outstretched hand. He spun around to look at Midoriya with shock and embarrassment in his sunken blue eyes. Oh, he wasn’t meant to hear that, at least not yet. It wasn’t his business. He would’ve been told when All Might knew more about the situation. But how good he was at keeping secrets depended on what it was and who was involved.

Midoriya knew exactly what was going to happen: there was no way he was going to be able to keep this to himself.

His brain kept doing mental leaps as he tried to figure out what was going on. Shigaraki was a father. Which meant that he’d, at least casually, been seeing someone. Dating someone? Hooked up with someone? Oh, god, why was his brain doing this to him? There were things he wanted to think about and other things he didn’t want to think about so much that they never even crossed his mind. This was definitely the latter, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Not that Shigaraki was terrible-looking since being freed from prison. Midoriya had seen him once shortly after his release, if only because he wanted to check up on him out of curiosity and wariness. It couldn’t be helped. This was the man had spent three years actively trying to kill him, especially once it became clear that he was the protege of his and All for One’s enemy - and it was partly thanks to Midoriya’s testimony that he was able to apply for parole so soon.

It had been surprising to see Shigaraki in the role of an average citizen. He’d looked so...normal. His hair was shorter and he was a little thinner, but the most remarkable change had been his face. He must have started to actually take of himself. Midoriya knew that Shigaraki’s quirk dried out his skin, especially around his lips and eyes, but with the right care, he didn’t look bad. He certainly didn’t look villainous or obsessed with vengeance.

If he still looked like that, Midoriya could see how a woman might… find him… attractive enough to sleep and produce a child with.

It still made Midoriya’s head spin and his stomach do an impressive flop. He’d known that his old high school friends would eventually start getting married and having families of their own. It was sometimes odd to consider, but he knew it. His old enemies though? Yeah, that wasn’t something he’d thought about.

“I…” All Might swallowed and then sighed again. “Well, you were bound to find out soon enough somehow.”

He was probably resigned to the fact that Midoriya managed to get himself in the middle of things whether they involved him or not, typically while actively trying not to be involved these days. It didn’t matter. One way or another, Midoriya found himself in a mess. It came from his desire to help everyone he could, but also because he was some sort of magnet for these things. Even when he tried to stay out of stuff, it found him.

This was probably one of those times.

Midoriya meandered over to a chair next to the couch and plopped down in it. “How?” All Might and his mother looked at each other and he flushed. “I mean, I know how! I just...don’t know…how…” It didn’t make sense. Okay, maybe he was just overthinking things. Shigaraki was out of jail, just trying to live his life. That meant establishing relationships of various kinds. “I never pictured him the ‘having kids’ or family type, if I’m being honest.”

“Neither did I,” All Might admitted, “but I don’t think he believed he was either. It wasn’t exactly planned.”

“Oh.” Midoriya blinked. “Oh! It was an accident.” He scratched his head. “I suppose that makes more sense. He didn’t intentionally have a child.”

It wasn’t that Shigaraki was selfish or anything like that. From what Midoriya had managed to gather about him post-prison, he was just trying to live his life. He worked at a video game store and went home. Thanks to Todoroki, he knew that Shigaraki was still friends and in contact with Dabi, now known as Touya. He’d stopped by his sister and brother’s place only, to almost walk into Shigaraki, who was leaving. That had almost caused a fight out of reflex until his sister had intervened, explaining that he was just there to drop a drunk Touya off. (Apparently, his brother was a severe lightweight.) Todoroki had been so caught off guard he forgot to call Midoriya to tell him until the next day.

Aside from that, Midoriya didn’t really know what was going on in Shigaraki’s life. He kept up to date for various reasons, ranging from being careful to just wanting to know what the hell was going on in his former arch enemy's life and if it was going well. He hoped it was. Midoriya wanted Shigaraki to succeed. He’d been dealt a raw hand in life and he wanted him to be able to actually live and do what he wanted instead of being a villain’s puppet.

Well, he was certainly living life - off having relationships and being a dad. Wow.

“So when’s the baby due or do you know that?” Midoriya asked curiously. “I wonder who the mom is. I wonder if she knew who he was when they got together. She probably did. He still goes by Shigaraki except for work, right? Wow, he’s gonna be a dad.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Hey, he completed a life milestone before me! That’s something, isn’t it?”

“Ah, the baby has already been born,” All Might awkwardly explained. “She’s about three-months-old.” He smiled so faintly he probably wasn’t even aware he was doing it. “Absolutely beautiful. She has his eyes.”

“You’ve seen her?” Midoriya leaned forward. “Which means you’ve seen him.” All Might nodded. “How is he?”

Tired ,” All Might stressed. “He’s under a lot of pressure. This situation was thrust upon him quite suddenly, leaving him no time to prepare.”

Midoriya tilted his head. “Uh, he had like nine months? Midnight taught us Sex Ed.” He shuddered at the memory. It had been an informative, if not somewhat traumatic, experience. Walking back to the dorms with a bunch of hormonal teenagers after listening to that talk and watching her put a condom on a banana had made him wish Uraraka would use her quirk on him and float him into outer space.

“If only.” All Might took his cup of tea back. “The mother of the child did not make him aware of his child until a week ago when she asked him to babysit” - here he grimaced - “so she could continue a murder spree.”

Midoriya’s eyebrows shot up. “She what?” He fell against the back of the chair. “He had a child with ano- With a villain?” Just when he thought this couldn’t get more shocking and absurd. That did bring up some unfortunate and nasty implications, all of which made him chew on his bottom lip. “Is he…?”

“No.” All Might shook his head, his mouth set in a determined line. “While he hasn’t been doing much with his life, Shigaraki remains on the straight and narrow. He was actually the one to call her in so she could be apprehended without incident. He appears to have been previously unaware of her villainous activities while she knew of his history.”

Ah, so she had known who Shigaraki was. It had probably been why she had slept with him in the first place. He should’ve taken Midnight’s Sex Ed class.

“This is, uh…a turn of interesting events,” Midoriya murmured. There was no way he could sit on this information and not do anything about it. It was too big for him to keep quiet about. Not telling people (outside of Kacchan) about One for All had been one thing, but Shigaraki having a kid with a villain and randomly finding out a year after the fact was too much. He had to tell somebody. But who?

Shigaraki was still in close contact with Touya, which meant that he probably knew already, and if he knew, then there was a chance Todoroki either knew or would find out soon. Telling him wouldn’t be that bad. He was going to find out eventually anyway, so it wasn’t really telling him. It wasn’t like he was going to blab to Iida or Uraraka (at least not right away). But he had to talk to someone about this or he was going to explode.

“It’s a lot to take in,” All Might said.

“And he apparently refuses to accept any help too,” his mother added, a frown on her face. “It’s...admittedly hard for me to truly feel for him, considering what he did to you both, but I can speak from experience that being a single parent, while rewarding, is very difficult.”

“You were an incredible mom,” Midoriya told her earnestly, “and you still are.”

His mother blushed but smiled. “I did my best under the circumstances.”

“I think he turned out pretty good,” All Might said with a chuckle. The humor died in his eyes as his mind drifted back to the other single parent. “I worry about him though. He clearly wants to do right by his daughter, but he doesn’t have any positive influence to look back on.” He frowned. “I offered to help, but…”

Midoriya nodded. He knew what All Might was saying. Shigaraki would disintegrate himself before he accepted All Might’s help outright. It was too demeaning for him after everything the former number one hero had done for him despite his previous attempts to kill him. Accepting All Might’s help with his child would be the final nail in the coffin for Shigaraki’s already fragile ego. It was kind of like getting Kacchan to accept help. There was a lot of fighting involved, sometimes making a person question whether it was worth it.

It was. It was always worth it to help people. Midoriya was certain of it.

Right now, however, he couldn’t think about it. He needed to speak freely and he couldn’t do it around them. He adored All Might with everything in him, even after all this time, but he kind of had tunnel vision when it came to Shigaraki. He needed someone who could understand his mental struggle better.

“Well, this has been enlightening,” Midoriya declared, standing up, “but I’ve gotta...make a call.”

His mother aimed a serious look at him. “Izuku.”

“I promised Shouto I would call him when I got back into town!” Midoriya insisted. It wasn’t a lie. He had promised to call Todoroki, just not for the reasons he was going to now. He hugged both his mom and All Might before telling them goodbye and he’d be back for dinner, all but rushing out the door. He hadn’t even shut the front door fully by the time he had his phone out and was dialing his friend’s friend.

Todoroki picked up after the third ring. “Izuku?”

“Are you busy because holy shit I’ve got some news to tell you,” Midoriya greeted in an excited rush as he bounced down the stairs.

“So do I.”

*

Todoroki had not been very close to any of his siblings until he moved out. With their father forcibly keeping them apart, and his kind of sad attempts at piecing their family back together later on, he had figured out he could make his own choices. Maybe he could have all along and just hadn’t known anything other than his father’s rules. Not using the fire half of his quirk had been enough rebellion. After deciding to repair his relationship with his mother, he had also come to the conclusion that he wanted to know his siblings.

There had always been one missing though. A big brother that lingered in the back of his mind but he could never quite call forward. After a while, Touya became more of a vague memory than a brother. He existed, but he also didn’t. If talk of their mother was kept to a minimum, not a word was breathed about him. He became more like a myth than anything else, a life lesson, as it were.

Don’t be like Touya. Don’t fail like Touya. Don’t crack like Touya.

After a while, as shameful as it was, it was easy to forget about him. At least, it was for Todoroki, who had been kept away from the others. His memories of Touya included a lot of yelling, fighting, ruffles of his hair, fake smiles, and a vicious protective streak. Most of what he remembered though was the sideways looks Touya would give him. After all, out of everyone in the family, even their mother, his oldest brother alone knew exactly what he went through during training.

Had it been pity in his brother’s eyes? Shame? Jealousy? Rage? Disgust? Fear? It was hard to tell after so many years had passed.

It was hard to tell now and Touya was actually back in their lives.

Todoroki looked up from his seat in the living area as Touya practically kicked open the front door and strode into the apartment he had shared with Fuyumi since being released from prison.

Oh, yeah, fun fact: his brother was - used to be - Dabi. That had been fun to learn during his second year of high school.

“I’m back!” Touya called out.

“Where were you? It shouldn’t have taken you that long.” Fuyumi poked her head out of the bathroom, where she was doing her makeup. Todoroki didn’t want to say she had a date, but she usually only put makeup on for work. He knew bringing it up would only serve to alarm Touya. Her twin brother wasn’t opposed to her dating so much as opposed to anyone dating her. There was that vicious protective streak that he remembered.

Touya walked through the living room and, despite actually being a few centimeters shorter than him now (not that Todoroki would bring that up either), ruffled Todoroki’s hair. “You know, I have a life of my own too. You’re the one that sent me out on my day off.”

Not one to take her twin’s bullshit, Fuyumi narrowed her eyes - or maybe she was just doing that because she wasn’t wearing her glasses. “Don’t use me as an excuse. You were getting antsy too.”

“Whatever.” Touya scoffed before plopping down on the couch and stretching out like a cat. He really did whatever he could in order to look taller. Back when they had first clashed at the Training Camp in his first year, Todoroki’s memories of Dabi had always made him seem so tall and imposing, when in truth he hadn’t been that much taller. It wasn’t until after things had fallen into place that he realized why Dabi had unsettled him so much. He had the same look in his eyes as Touya, only more dead.

It was a bit like living with a ghost when Touya was dragged back into their lives, but years later, he was more like, eh, a ghoul. Who was a big brother and did big brother things but also kept a wall between them for their own protection. Todoroki wondered if Fuyumi ever called him out for it. Probably. After the truth came out about Dabi, she had become a lot harder, although she acted like she didn’t.

“Well?” Fuyumi prompted as she stepped fully out of the bathroom and put her glasses on.

Touya waved a dismissive hand in the air. “The wiggle worm is alive.”

Todoroki blinked. Wiggle worm? And it was alive? What?

“I figured that, since you didn’t come bursting in here in a panic,” Fuyumi replied.

“Nah, I bet you thought we were doing something shady like hiding evidence,” Touya shot back dryly.

“Touya, that’s awful!” Fuyumi exclaimed, sounding genuinely distraught. “I know you wouldn’t do that now.” She pointed an accusing finger at him. “Besides, I know you care no matter how much you try to deny it.”

“The last thing I’m gonna do about this whole situation is care,” Touya said before throwing an arm over his face like he was planning on falling asleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time. It wasn’t until he’d seen Touya sleeping on the couch, in a chair, and even on the floor that Todoroki had remembered Touya’s ability to sleep anywhere. He could understand that exhaustion. Their father’s training, on top of the physical exertion of his own quirk, had made him permanently tired, leading him to pass out the second he got comfortable or laid down.

It was kind of hard to think about that when all Todoroki’s brain kept coming back to was the cryptic “wiggle worm is alive” comment though. Whatever it was, it was something that Touya was determined not to give a shit about it (which he said about a lot of things) but also something that Fuyumi was determined to make him care about. She was right, of course, even if he didn’t know the context completely. Touya liked to act like he didn’t care about things - bored and lackadaisical with the whole world beneath him - but they all knew it was bullshit, even if he didn’t.

Touya cared about a lot of things, just not in the way everyone else did. He hated caring to the point where he had a habit of coming across as aggressively not caring.

Whatever was happening was one of those times and Todoroki intended to get to the bottom of it. He wanted to believe that he trusted Touya, but in truth, it was hard to do that all the time with so much history between them. He didn’t think Touya would do anything illegal, but more importantly, he knew his big brother wouldn’t drag his twin sister into anything bad with him.

That still didn’t give him any clues about what the hell was going on.

“What are you two talking about?” Todoroki blurted.

His question immediately sliced through the mood, ending their petty sibling bickering. The two of them glanced at each other, Touya with his arm raised slightly above his eyes. For a moment, they just stared at each other, silently communicating with their eyes. Todoroki was hit with the reminder that despite the fact that Touya had disappeared from their lives, acted out as a villain in the League, and then spent a few years in prison, Touya and Fuyumi were twins. He might’ve been kept away from Fuyumi and Natsuo during his training under their father until Todoroki’s quirk manifested, but there was a bond between them he couldn’t quite fathom.

Under normal circumstances, it would make him feel relieved. After everything their family had gone through - after all the things Fuyumi and Touya had gone through personally - they still had that close bond these days. Right now though, it just irritated and left him feeling like he was on the outside looking in. It made him feel like the little brother despite being a grown ass man and the number two hero.

“What?” Todoroki demanded. “What does that look mean?” He tore his gaze from Touya to Fuyumi, who he knew would break easier. He’d thought he was good at keeping secrets, but Touya had a vault that even the world’s greatest criminal couldn’t break into. “What’s the wiggle worm?”

Fuyumi chewed on her bottom lip. “Should we tell him?”

Touya shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t care.” Fuyumi shot him a glare and he sighed. “He’s gonna find out sooner or later. You did tell me to invite him to dinner on Friday. If the bastard does show up…”

“Is this about Dad?” Todoroki asked.

“Wrong father.” Touya cackled at his own joke, which wasn’t even that good since it made absolutely no sense. “You think I’m gonna have dinner with him? I haven’t quite reached that point in my therapy.” Fuyumi wrung her hands in front of her, struggling to figure out what to say. Noticing her nerves, Touya huffed and sat upright on the couch. “You heard about the capture of that villain accused of killing like - shit, how many was it? - twenty people?”

Todoroki nodded his head. “Yeah, it’s all anyone can talk about on the hero circuit right now. It took everyone by surprise because they didn’t think the culprit could be a woman.”

“Shit, that just made me realize she killed three of those people while swollen up like a beach ball,” Touya said thoughtfully, mostly to himself. He shook his head. “Well, whatever her fucked up reasoning - you probably know more than us - it turns out Shigaraki got her pregnant during a one night, called her in for the heroes to arrest her when he found out he was her baby daddy, and now he’s got a three-month-old daughter. Keeping that thing has got to be one of his Top Five Worst Decisions and he came up with the plan to kidnap Bakugou.”

“Which you carried out,” Todoroki added flatly, his brain too shot to actually process what he’d just been told.

Touya flopped back on the couch. “I didn’t say it was one of my smartest decisions either.”

Todoroki swallowed and ran his fingers through his hair. Shigaraki was a father? Not only that but he was the father to a child who had been born by one of Japan’s most notorious serial killers? And he’d helped her get arrested? This was certainly an interesting and alarming development.

He had kept up with the updates on the League members after their arrests and subsequent trials. Even if he hadn’t been so thoroughly embroiled in them because of Touya, he would have simply for the fact that he and his friends had clashed with them for three years. Ever since they’d attacked the USJ, they’d been tied together. He had been unsure of how he felt towards his brother, who had attacked him, right up until the day he was supposed to be called to the stand.

It never happened. Todoroki never took the stand. The trial came to an abrupt end when Touya took a plea deal.

A day later, their father stepped down from the number one hero position. He didn’t stop being a hero, but he decided to take himself out of the rankings entirely. It was unheard of. The news didn’t know what to think. No one did, not even Todoroki, and their father never did explain why he made the abrupt decision to take himself out of the ranking. 

To this day, Todoroki still didn't understand why Touya had changed his mind about going through with the trial. Todoroki’s testimony would have blown the whole thing wide open, exposing truths no one outside of their family and a few choice people had ever heard.

That had been what Dabi had wanted, right? To ruin their father? To kill him? Then why had he stopped right when he had a metaphorical knife against Endeavor’s throat?

Something similar had happened in Shigaraki’s trial, but that had gone all the way through to sentencing. Finding out exactly what All for One had done to groom Shigaraki into the perfect successor had been chilling and made Todoroki sick to this day. His trial had run concurrently with Touya’s, keeping everyone involved busy. Todoroki had been there for almost every single part of it. No, they weren’t anything alike - but, as much he’d hated Shigaraki, he saw bits and pieces of himself in there too.

It was...unfortunate.

If only the trial had been the last time that Todoroki saw Shigaraki, he wouldn’t be reminded of a few ugly truths. It wasn’t meant to be. Not only had Fuyumi, in her desperation, used him as a means to get through to Touya, who had spent his first few months in prison refusing to take any visitors, but once Touya got out, the two of them buddied up again. Not that either one of them would call it that. Todoroki wasn’t sure he could call it that. They got along like a cat and dog raised in the same household.

Coming over to his sister’s for dinner only to see Shigaraki there was startling in itself. It was even weirder when he realized the former villain was wearing the shirt for a local video game shop and cleaned up with some sort of lotion on his face to boot to combat his quirk’s effects. He’d almost attacked Shigaraki the first time they’d crossed paths here. They only had crossed paths a handful of times, all of them on accident, but needless to say, Todoroki hadn’t expected to be the one person in his old U.A. group to see Shigaraki the most after prison.

He had been pretty sure that would be Midoriya. Looked like he was wrong. Speaking of Midoriya…

“You’re taking this...well enough,” Fuyumi noted nervously upon Todoroki’s silence.

“How else is he supposed to take it?” Touya questioned. “It’s weird no matter what way you spin it.”

“Shigaraki is a father,” Todoroki said. Fuyumi nodded. “And he’s decided to keep her and raise her alone?”

Touya sighed. “I told him to safe-drop her, but does he ever listen to me? No.”

“That’s because you have terrible ideas,” Todoroki said without thinking. Touya harrumphed but didn’t argue. “I have to make a call.”

Fuyumi gave him an uncomfortable look. “I don’t think he wants a lot of people knowing yet.”

“You know he’s going to call Midoriya regardless of what you say,” Touya said, back to throwing an arm over his eyes. He did look really tired.

Todoroki shot his brother a glare as he stood up, but… he wasn’t wrong. Before he could fish his phone out of his pocket, it began to ring. He pulled it out and raised his eyebrows when he read the caller ID. Midoriya Izuku. Well, that saved him the trouble of making the call and would also make Fuyumi feel less guilty about telling him.

Answering the call with a simple, “Izuku?” Todoroki stepped out of the room to obtain some privacy.

Midoriya’s response came lightning fast: “Are you busy because holy shit I’ve got some news to tell you.”

Judging from his greeting, it sounded like Midoriya already knew, but it could also be about the news concerning Bakugou, so he had to be sure. “So do I.” Shutting the door to the bedroom behind him, he continued, “You go first.”

“Okay!” Midoriya took a deep breath. “Shigaraki got a villain pregnant and now he’s a single dad!”

Ah, so it was the news about Shigaraki. That made things a lot easier. “Yeah, I just found that out as well. I was going to call you.”

Instead of sounding disappointed that Todoroki already knew what was going on, Midoriya sighed in relief. “How did you find out?”

“Touya and Fuyumi,” Todoroki answered. “You?”

“I walked in on All Might talking about it with my mom.”

Awkward. It probably had not been All Might’s intention for Midoriya to find out that way. “Yeah, Fuyumi sent Touya to check on him. You know they’re still close.” Todoroki thought back on the conversation between his two older siblings before he’d interrupted them. “I guess they invited him to dinner this Friday?”

“Really?” Midoriya sounded shocked but also kind of intrigued. “Don’t you do family dinners every other Friday?”

Todoroki held his chin thoughtfully in his hand. “You’re right.”

As much as he didn’t want to spend his day off hanging out with someone who tried to kill him multiple times… Well, he couldn’t say that. Touya had tried to do the same thing, although he had haltingly explained that he had never been actively trying to kill him. He had always held back or aimed slightly off. In fact, there had been a few times when his attacks had actually intervened with others’ and saved him in the process. The whole thing was complicated and that included Shigaraki, especially now that he was a father.

It made Todoroki wary. Shigaraki didn’t have a good example of what it was to be a father. Then again, neither did he or his siblings, even if their father had spent years working to be better. Still, he couldn’t help but worry about the baby. It was completely innocent in this situation, even if it had been to a serial killer and a former villain mastermind.

Besides, this dinner could present a unique opportunity. If he was really worried about the child, the best way to go about this would be to watch how Shigaraki interacted with his daughter. He knew what Fuyumi was like. She took her job as a preschool very seriously. Looking for signs of abuse in her students was a bleak way of looking at things, but none of them knew the consequences of adults ignoring those signs more than she did. She was very protective of her students. Maybe this dinner was a way of getting a better look at what was going on.

Todoroki could use this.

“Well, your family dinner is certainly going to be...interesting,” Midoriya concluded.

“Insightful, to be sure,” Todoroki added.

As much as he wanted to believe in redemption - as much as he had seen it firsthand - Todoroki was still wary. He knew it made him sound bad. He was genuinely happy Touya was back in their lives and was finally getting the help he needed and had been denied his entire life. It was important to him. Still, he worried sometimes, if only because he had learned to recognize when his temper started to get the best of him. What could have happened if he hadn’t? Touya had been filled with enough hate and pain that it had driven him to make the decision to become a villain.

Shigaraki had been molded to be a villain as a child. He was going to need a lot of therapy to get over that. There was a reason Midoriya and Uraraka were the hopeful ones their friend group. Todoroki was coldly realistic. He would believe it when he saw it. That was what he’d learned with his father. It was what he’d do with Shigaraki.

After telling Midoriya that he would keep him up to date on what happened, Todoroki hung up the phone. So focused on his conversation with Midoriya, he hadn’t been paying attention to his siblings in the living room. It was only when he hung up the phone that he heard them still talking.

“--just really upsets me that he insists on doing so much alone,” his sister was saying. “We know how hard that is.”

“Oh, he’s not entirely alone,” Touya replied, the grin evident in his voice.

“Of course not,” Fuyumi said. “He’s got us, even if he doesn’t realize it yet.”

Touya snorted. “That’s not what I meant.”

Todoroki was curious about what that meant. Maybe it was another reformed member of the League? Were they still in contact with each other? Todoroki wasn’t certain outside of Touya and Shigaraki. It didn’t seem like Touya had a lot of friends or cared about making any. He’d been like that when he was younger too, before he ran away and vanished. He hadn’t found them necessary, even though Todoroki knew now that they were very much so.

When Todoroki walked out into the living room, Touya was in the process of saying, “He’s got-” but then cut himself off the second he spotted him. A weird look flickered across his face before it went blank again, which confused Todoroki, before he continued, “He’s got his therapist, you know. She’s on his ass all the time about his recovery and living his life.”

Fuyumi gave him a confused look as well, but then slowly nodded her head. “That’s a good point. It still doesn’t make up for the fact that he has to do this physically alone for the most part.”

“Eh, don’t push him.” Touya shrugged his shoulders. “You want to help him? You gotta wait for him to come to you. That’s how it works. He needs to realize he needs you on his own.”

It felt strange to listen to Touya talk about someone like that. There wasn’t any mocking or insulting tone to his words, simply understanding. He knew Shigaraki - knew how he worked, his habits, his behavior. Todoroki didn’t doubt it was vice versa. He thought he understood Touya better these days, but it was hard to be sure. It hadn’t been until they were adults that all of them had realized he had shown different facades to each one of them while they had been growing up.

The villainous one hadn’t come until later, but the rage and pain that fueled it had been simmering underneath all along. The hard truth was that, even though Todoroki was the closest to understanding what Touya went through with their father, it was Shigaraki who probably understood that very large aspect of him the most. That… almost sounded like the friendship he had with Midoriya, which was a crazy thought, almost as crazy as the fact that Shigaraki was coming over for the family dinner and bringing his daughter.

This was going to be fun.

Chapter 8: Dinner and a Baby

Notes:

This is so awkward and I live for writing this. I'm actually about to hit 100k for this fic, which is both hilarious and exciting since I never planned on it getting this massive. I just really enjoy writing Shigaraki's dynamics with everyone and his dumb, ridiculous plight. Many of these scenarios are also real things I did with my own daughter. This chapter is filled with a bunch of Todoroki family feels so be prepared.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"I'm sorry but when you turned thirteen you barely hugged me any more and then that damn high five came along. I had to do whatever I could to feel your chest against mine."
- Burt Chance (Raising Hope, "Happy Halloween")

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Somehow, Shigaraki managed to survive the next two days without any serious incidents. He gave Yukiko a warm bath after she finished her bottle, just as Uraraka had suggested, and, after struggling to get her in the sleeper, found himself amazed once she was knocked out. For the first time in days, he slept for longer than ten minutes. He couldn’t say that he was well-rested with three hours of sleep, but on top of the shower he managed to get and Uraraka’s help with cleaning, he actually felt pretty good.

He couldn’t say that he was in a full routine yet, but something resembling one was starting to form. There were plenty of hiccups along the way. He was not going to tell anyone he had thrown up on his own baby while trying to change the most explosively messy diaper he had seen in his life. They should’ve used those to attack heroes, because there was no way in hell he would survive a repeated assault. He was pretty sure Yukiko was actively trying to kill him for not being around for the first three months of her life.

It wasn’t his fault.

By Friday morning, Shigaraki finally caved and put on the baby carrier. It had taken him a shamefully long time to figure it out. He needed an extra set of hands to put it on. The second the thought crossed his mind, he stood still, silently berating himself. If Touya knew he’d had that thought, he would never let it go. Once he got it on and put Yukiko in it, he found out something even more spectacular: held snug against his chest in a tight way that couldn’t possibly be comfortable, she fell asleep within minutes even though he wasn’t actually holding her.

With both his hands free, there were a number of things he should have done. He did approximately none of them, plopping down in front of his computer and playing an RPG for a full two hours before he became concerned that she was sleeping too hard. Waking her up out of anxiety was probably a mistake, but she needed to eat anyway. Playing a video game actually made him feel better than sleeping, although feeding her also made him realize that he’d forgotten to eat lunch, forcing him to scarf down cheap noodles in record time.

He spent the rest of the day debating whether or not he wanted to Touya’s for dinner. On one hand, the offer had sounded an awful lot like pity. On the other hand, an actual meal sounded amazing. As long as he showed them that he was taking care of things and handling fatherhood just fine, they wouldn’t ask questions, right? Of course, he was running on a total of eight hours of sleep over about six days, but he was fine. This was nothing. He’d show Touya. He might not be anywhere near the best father, but he could be a decent one.

It would be nice if he didn’t have to eat, sleep, shower, and piss at the speed of light.

With Yukiko wiggling around on a blanket with some toys in the bathroom, Shigaraki took the world’s fastest shower. Maybe he didn’t take as much care of himself as he had before, but he didn’t look terrible. A little dry, but nowhere near what he had been during his League days. Fuyumi was going to say something about that, but there was nothing he could do but slap some extra lotion on and hope for the best.

He still had a few hours before he had to be at Touya’s, if he was going to go, so he swung by the thrift shop Uraraka had mentioned days ago. Embarrassingly enough, he hadn’t gotten more clothes for Yukiko, so he’d been half-ass cleaning and cycling the same three outfits. They didn’t even fit her properly. Using the baby carrier, it was much easier to leave his apartment and walk to the shop.

At first, he hadn’t known what clothes to get her, only to find out they came sized by how old babies were. Well, that was the first convenient thing to happen to him. They were much cheaper than the clothes at the large store. He was able to buy enough to fill up the backpack he’d brought to carry all her shit. The clerk at the shop gave him weird, wary looks all the time, which made Shigaraki think that the kid recognized him, but didn’t say anything. The way he anxiously dropped his change into his hand and then bolted to the back room cemented the fact.

What must that kid have thought, witnessing the villain who had once terrorized half of Japan awkwardly perusing baby clothes in a thrift shop with a baby strapped to his chest?

Yukiko made something that sounded almost like a giggle. Shigaraki sighed in aggravation. She was mocking him.

For the train ride, he took her out of the carrier. Even if she seemed content in it, he couldn’t help but think it looked extremely uncomfortable. She was all squashed in there and it wasn’t like his chest was the most comfortable thing to lay against, even if she did seem to like it. He couldn’t fathom why. All he knew was that she wanted to be on him or him to hold her at all times.

Considering he’d gone through life with approximately no one wanting to get near or touch him, it threw him for a loop. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to take it.

Upon reaching the right stop, Shigaraki shoved his way off the train, glaring at anyone that got too close. He’d never liked the train before. Kurogiri could get them anywhere they wanted to go before the League got infamous and it wasn’t like he could up and take one after he became more recognizable. Now it just reminded him of how many people there were in the world and how little they understood the concept of personal space.

Even worse, he’d seen a number of pickpockets since starting to take it, although none of them tried him. It made him anxious though. Trains were not great places. Where there were a lot of people, there tended to be a higher chance of bad people. He’d been one of them, so he would know. It was easier to hide in a crowd. Anyone that looked at him for too long could be an enemy and anyone that looked at Yukiko for too long was suspicious. Mostly he got old ladies and women smiling at her, but still, he didn’t like people paying too much attention to them.

Old people and nice-looking middle-aged women could be villains too.

Before he got to Touya’s (okay, it was more like Fuyumi’s) apartment, Shigaraki ducked into a fast food restaurant. It frustrated him that there weren’t any baby changing stations in the men’s restroom, but there was nothing to be done about that besides leaving a scathing online review. Or ten under different names. It was awkward and more than a few guys gave him strange looks in passing, all of whom he glared at in return, but he managed to use the sink in order to change her into a different outfit. He wanted to at least give the appearance that he wasn’t struggling.

(If they knew he was changing her clothes in the bathroom of a fast food restaurant, they might be wary to think that, so he was going to let that tidbit slide.)

She actually didn’t look bad. The new onesie fit her and showed off her little legs. He wasn’t sure how big she was supposed to be, but they did look a little thin from what he remembered seeing of babies. They were always so chunky. He supposed being on the run from the law hadn’t given her time to get adapted to a proper feeding schedule. It irritated him even further and made him glad he had called the authorities on Himura. He knew what it was to grow up wanting.

By the time he reached the apartment, Yukiko was not happy about the baby carrier. She’d been in it for too long today. He couldn’t blame her. Next week he would have to look into getting a stroller. They hadn’t bought one at the store, but it hadn’t seemed as necessary at the time. Once again, the thought of using the account All Might had set up for him made his stomach roll, but it was the simplest choice. He did have enough of his own money, but baby shit was expensive. Literally, considering how much diapers cost.

Right before he knocked on the door, Shigaraki hesitated. He shifted Yukiko in his arms, considering his options. He could just leave. He could turn around, go back to the fast food restaurant, grab something to eat there, and go home. They would never know the difference. He’d tell them Yukiko was napping and he hadn’t wanted to wake her.

Of course, she chose this time to start crying about absolutely nothing, giving him away. He could hear movement on the other side, Fuyumi telling Touya to answer it, and Touya shouting, “We’re not home!” in response. Less than a minute later, the door was jerked open, revealing a slightly better dressed Touya. He didn’t go for edgy clothes all the time these days. Shigaraki knew what that outfit and face meant.

Their mother, Rei, was coming over for dinner.

“You actually came,” Touya greeted.

“You think I’d pass up on free food?” Shigaraki questioned.

“I didn’t know if you’d be able to get out of the apartment toting a munchkin around,” Touya responded honestly. He stepped aside and let him come in.

After slipping off his shoes, Shigaraki started down the hallway, only to be nearly assaulted by Fuyumi, who burst out of the kitchen with barely restrained excitement. “Oh, look at her!” she gushed. “That onesie is so cute!” She held out her hands, her grey eyes wide and lit up, and he let her take Yukiko despite the fact that she was fussing. “You got her this?”

“Who else would get it?” Shigaraki asked.

Fuyumi held Yukiko close and swayed side-to-side until Yukiko calmed down. “She looks really good.” The smile on her face was soft and knowing. “She looks happy to me.”

“Yeah, and you look like shit,” Touya added as he strolled into the room.

“He does not!” Fuyumi shot her twin brother a glare that told him to behave. Touya gave her a lazy smile in response, which did not appease her one bit. She gave Shigaraki an apologetic look. “You just look tired, is all - but that’s to be expected. You’re showered and dressed. That’s pretty much all you can do at this stage.”

“I’m honestly shocked,” Touya said. “How did you find the time to shower when that thing clearly wants to be held all the time?”

Shigaraki would’ve loved to smack that shit-eating grin off Touya’s face, but all he did was narrow his eyes slightly. He had seen Uraraka at his place and had probably made all sorts of assumptions. It would soothe Fuyumi’s concerns over him and the baby, but he did not want people knowing that he’d been helped by a pro hero. He was still fairly positive she was offering to help because that was what a hero did. The fact that he was now some hero’s pity case made his skin crawl, but he’d been the one to crack and call her. She had come over, as expected of a hero when they were called.

That complex about saving people had gotten more than a few people killed. He would know.

“I got lucky,” Shigaraki finally said, staring Touya down. “She’s a good baby sometimes.”

Touya got the hint. While Fuyumi had her back turned to them as she lifted Yukiko up in the air and cooed at her, he pressed his lips together and mimed the gesture of locking his lips shut and then dropping the invisible key in his pocket. The implication was clear: he was not going to forget what he saw and would bring it up later, so it was best to tread lightly if he wanted that later to be in private. Bastard.

Meandering into the kitchen, Touya asked, “Oh, you ever come up with a name for the worm?”

“Yukiko.” It wasn’t nearly as epic of a reveal as being handed a baby by a serial killer, but it was something.

Touya stopped in the doorway and, after a moment of thinking, looked back at him. “I can’t think of what game you might have gotten it front.” He tilted his head curiously. “Did you actually come up with a normal name for once?”

“I like it!” Fuyumi exclaimed. She rubbed noses with the baby. “Yukiko. It’s sweet. What about her last name?”

Here, Shigaraki hesitated. Uraraka had asked him the same thing two days ago and he still didn’t have an answer. He’d spent a good deal of time stressing over it. He didn’t want to give her the name Himura because then she would always have an attachment to her mother, which was the last thing she needed when she got into school. He went by Shigaraki except for at work, but having that name would be a curse as well.

The only other option was to give her his legal surname, the one he’d been born with but couldn’t remember. Granted, he didn’t have any attachment to the name, but maybe that would be a good thing for her. It would be a fresh start and chance at life: taking on the name of a hero after being born to a current and former villain.

“I’m not sure,” Shigaraki admitted, “but...probably Shimura.” He looked at his child in Fuyumi’s hands, watching as her eyes landed on him and her face turned into a big cheerful smile. Yukiko Shimura. Yeah, it could work. “She doesn’t have one right now since she technically doesn’t exist.”

“How the fuck do you go about fixing that?” Touya asked, sounding genuinely bemused.

“I’ll let you know.” Shigaraki wasn’t sure what all he had to do, but he knew it wasn’t going to be fun. That was another part of civilian society he hated: the bureaucratic process. It had been much easier to deal with things when he didn’t exist. There had been old, dusty files on his birth and first four years of his life that allowed him to transition back into the world, but it would be a lot harder for Yukiko.

The front door opened again, pulling all of their attention away from the baby for a moment. Shigaraki could not deny tensing up when he watched the pro hero Shouto walk through the door. A near perfect split between his parents, it was honestly impossible to tell whether he looked like his father, Endeavor, or his mother, who stepped inside behind him. It made him think of Yukiko. Besides her eyes and hair, it was impossible to tell who she would take after at the moment. She just looked like a baby with no defining features to him.

The second Todoroki’s mismatched eyes landed on Shigaraki, he halted. It would’ve been intimidating if the gaze did not immediately remind him of Touya’s. They had the same look in their eyes whether they realized it or not. It kind of made him wonder why it took him so damn long to figure out who Dabi really was. He’d simply never considered the idea that someone like Dabi could be Endeavor’s son. Maybe that was the whole problem. He wasn’t sure. That was for Touya’s own court-appointed therapist to find out.

“Shigaraki,” Todoroki greeted in his typical clipped, impassive tone.

All Shigaraki could do was nod his head in return. He didn’t feel much like talking. Luckily, a bit like Touya, Todoroki wasn’t much of a talker either. Instead, he turned away to take his mother’s jacket, polite as ever. Shigaraki tried not to snort when Touya let his mother hug him, but he must have made some noise because when Rei moved on, he shot a glare in his direction. Two could play this game of keeping secrets. One of the last things Touya would want people to know was that he was a mama’s boy deep down.

“I heard congratulations are in order,” Todoroki abruptly said, forcing Shigaraki to look over at him. The young pro hero waved a hand in the direction of his sister and mother, both of whom were gushing over Yukiko. “How have you found fatherhood so far?”

“Trying to decide whether or not you need to rescue a baby from me?” Shigaraki couldn’t help but ask.

Unfortunately, he forgot who he was dealing with for a moment. Shouto wasn’t just a pro hero; he was a goddamn Todoroki and there was a large stick up his ass. Todoroki didn’t even blink when he responded, “If it looks like there are any signs of neglect or abuse, then yes, I will.” Absolutely unforgiving and brutal, that one. Touya was the only one to overhear him and even he raised his eyebrows. “I’ll try to give you the benefit of the doubt. She looks healthy and happy so far.”

“Gee, thanks,” Shigaraki responded dryly, giving him a smile that he knew wasn’t pleasant. He really needed to work on that (it was partly why he wasn’t getting a raise), but now wasn’t the appropriate time. Maybe when Yukiko was four or going to school? “Anything else you wanna give me the third degree about? My entry level job? My choice in formula and diapers? I’m ready to gab.”

Todoroki shook his head. “Besides that, I’m just here to eat. You can talk about those things with someone else.”

“Oh, she’s beautiful,” Rei interrupted as she walked over to him with Yukiko in her arms. Fuyumi had passed his daughter over to her mother, who somehow held the baby better than everyone else despite there not being much of a difference. “I love the name too.” She smiled at him. “I’m glad you could come over. We really ought to celebrate this new life.”

“Is it still new after three months?” Shigaraki asked before he could stop himself.

Touya grinned. “Now she’s just leftovers.”

Fuyumi closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Please do not refer to the baby as ‘leftovers’, Touya.”

Not looking one bit apologetic, Touya shrugged his shoulders in response. “Sure, whatever.” He turned to Shigaraki and asked, “You want a drink?”

It sounded more like, Do you need a drink? which, honestly, yes he did. Truth be told, despite literally growing up in a bar and being partially raised by a villain who might’ve been a bartender in a past life, he wasn’t much of a drinker, but he needed one after this past week, just to take an edge off his nerves.

Nodding, the two of them walked into the kitchen, leaving the women with the baby. For a moment, Shigaraki was hesitant to leave Yukiko, even feeling a hint of something that felt like guilt, but then Touya gave him a knowing look and he ignored the feeling. Touya took a beer out of the fridge and handed it to Shigaraki while he got a bottle of water for himself and leaned against the counter.

“You have fun the other day?” Touya asked as he twisted the cap off and took a swig.

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “It’s not what it looked it.”

“Oh?” Touya raised an eyebrow. “And what did it look like?”

“C’mon, just come out with it, asshole,” Shigaraki snapped half-heartedly. He took the bottle opener Touya held out for him and popped the beer open. “I can tell you’ve been holding it in. You look like a cat with a bird in its mouth.”

Touya set the water bottle down. “I’m just really curious about how that happened.” The shit-eating grin was back on his face. “You must be better at picking up girls than I thought.”

“Ha, ha, you’re hilarious,” Shigaraki replied flatly. “You should do comedy night at the bar you work at.”

“C’mon, you’ve gotta give me credit here,” Touya continued. While not quite as teasing anymore, he was obviously having too much fun with this, so it didn’t fully leave his tone. “I come over-”

“To steal my controller,” Shigaraki interjected.

“-and you’re looking as fresh and clean as I’ve ever seen you, with pro hero Uravity dressed up all cute and shit” - this was where Shigaraki started choking on his beer - “sitting on the ground chatting over your baby.” Touya folded his arms across his chest. “It’s innocent as far as compromising goes, but still weird as hell.”

Shigaraki was still coughing over his beer and set it down on the kitchen island. “That’s not-” He coughed once more and then took a deep breath. Was Touya trying to kill him? “She helped me out that first night after I left here. She saw me with Yukiko and became concerned, so she went with me to get all the baby stuff you saw.”

“Aw, hero pity,” Touya drawled. “How sweet.”

It wasn’t necessarily a dig at him, Shigaraki knew. Touya was trying to gauge how Shigaraki viewed the situation. He agreed with him, but he didn’t like it. The last few years of his life felt like they were full of heroes pitying him, even if, objectively, he knew that wasn’t the case. All Might felt guilt for a lot of reasons, even if he didn’t believe he should. Midoriya was just… Well, he was All Might’s successor for a reason. Uraraka didn’t have a reason to help him out of guilt. She didn’t have a reason to help him at all.

Was it possible she was just that nice?

No, it had to be pity or, at least concern that he couldn’t take care of a baby. He wouldn’t be surprised or even angry over the latter.

“All Might found out too,” Shigaraki added with a grimace. “Probably from Naomasa.”

“That’s rough,” Touya said, almost like he genuinely felt bad. Sometimes, Shigaraki got the sense that he was a lot more invested in things than he appeared, but then as soon as Touya got close to something or someone, he pushed them away. It was a very push and pull process, annoying but routine. “I bet he was all about wanting to help. Did you dip into your trust fund?” Shigaraki hated it when he called it that, but he couldn’t deny it either. Touya got the picture when he didn’t respond. “You know he’s not gonna leave it be. That hero complex is strong.”

“You’d know, wouldn’t you?” Shigaraki bit back, annoyed at him for being right.

Touya picked up his water again. “Yeah, my little brother’s got it out the ass. Gotta make up for our old man, you know?”

He finished the last half of his water in one go. He must have been having issues with his quirk today. It hadn’t taken Shigaraki long to figure out that Touya drank enough water to fill up a small pond. He always got worse about it after prolonged use of his quirk or going for too without using it at all. It burned right through him. Considering that they were not only on parole but known for their dangerous quirks and supposed to be regular civilians now, they weren’t allowed to use them nearly as often. It must’ve been troublesome, especially for someone whose quirk hurt him. All Shigaraki had to deal with was incredibly dry skin.

“You were right,” Shigaraki admitted begrudgingly. “I got in over my head and I was overwhelmed. She gave me her number and told me to call her if I needed help. I wasn’t about to call you, so it was either her or All Might and you know damn well I wasn’t about to do that.”

There were things he could lower himself to do (like change the world’s most horrific diaper) and things he could not (admit to the man he once devoted his life to killing that he needed his help). Touya understood that very well. After all, Endeavor had tried to pay for the treatment to fix his scars. He had adamantly refused. None of his siblings knew about it either. Shigaraki only knew because he’d snarled about it while drunk once.

“Nice of her to come over,” Touya mused. “I’ve run into her a few times through Shouto.” Aside from the times when the League and the U.A. students had clashed with each other. In fact, hadn’t he actually almost killed her? Or was she the one that put him out of commission for a few weeks in the middle of their Third Year? It was hard to remember these details when he’d been so distracted himself. “She’s...bubbly.”

Shigaraki snorted. “I don’t know about bubbly. She ripped me a new one.”

“Can you blame her?” Touya asked, waving a hand at them both.

“Hell no.” Shigaraki sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Hair cut. He’d forgotten about getting one after finding out about Yukiko. Maybe he could do that tomorrow too. “She came over though and helped without complaint. It wasn’t as awful as I expected. I just needed help for a minute to get above water again and I didn’t want to bother Fuyumi.”

“Trust me,” Touya grumbled, “she’d be delighted if you called asking for help.”

“I’d rather not add my bullshit to her plate,” Shigaraki said. “She does a lot as it is.”

Touya didn’t argue with that, a distant but accepting look in his eyes. They both knew just how much Fuyumi did, not only in her own life but for theirs as well. In his attempts to not deal with his shit, Touya had refused visits from absolutely everyone after his imprisonment. The stubborn ass had refused to face his family or explain what was going on, especially since his acceptance of the plea deal came about so abruptly, right before Todoroki was set to testify. In the end, he got a much better deal than the one originally offered to him, but in return, he’d tried to cut ties once more.

Fuyumi hadn’t let him run away again - and in a way, she hadn’t let Shigaraki do it either. He’d not been so particular about his visitors, although facing All Might or Midoriya had never been a pleasure. Very few other people wanted to see him, considering that any family he’d had was dead, so it had caught him by surprise when he had been told he had a visitor, only to find Touya’s twin sister on the other side. In a last ditch effort, she had figured that the only way to get through to her brother was to go through him.

Surprisingly, it worked. Shigaraki wasn’t exactly sure what had inspired him to pass her message along to Touya. It might’ve been irritation. Here Touya had a sister and family that wanted him back in their lives and he was pushing them away because of what? Shame? Embarrassment? Sadness? Shigaraki had known he didn’t hate them. To be honest, he wasn’t sure if Touya even hated Endeavor, although he’d certainly acted like it.

Meanwhile, as much as he hated to admit it, Shigaraki wished more than anything that he had family out there - or really, anyone who might want him to come home. Except he didn’t have a home. And when he got out he had to make one himself. Civilian life was admittedly lonelier than he’d anticipated. Sure, he was used to being alone, but being lonely was another beast entirely. He couldn’t conquer it.

Was that why he and Touya had wound up back in each other’s lives? Was that why he’d made that dumb ass decision to hook up with the first woman that showed interest in him?

Next time he thought to do something like that, Shigaraki would have to slap himself or call Touya to do it for him. He’d get a kick out of that.

In the silence that had fallen between them, Shigaraki heard the door open again and Touya’s other (much louder) younger brother announce himself. He must have seen Yukiko right off the bat, because he heard Natsuo shout, “Who had a baby?” and then, after a muffled answer, “Shigaraki’s the father? Holy shit! Touya’s practically an uncle now.”

Touya closed his eyes and shook his head. No way was he taking that much responsibility. Shigaraki didn’t trust him anyway. Not that he would ever do anything to hurt Yukiko, but he looked at her like she was an alien. He’d definitely seen and been around babies before, since he had two younger siblings, but he didn’t look like the type that would be good with them. Shigaraki was pretty sure the only reason Yukiko might not be afraid of him was that she would grow up already knowing him. He wasn’t exactly the most kid-friendly-looking person, even with his scars somewhat healed, or at least treated better.

The door opened and Fuyumi walked into the kitchen. “Dinner should be about ready. Do you need to feed Yukiko before or are you going to wait until after?”

“Before,” Shigaraki said, “or I won’t get to eat.”

Fuyumi waved a hand at him. “Don’t worry about that. Relax! Mom’s enamored. You’re gonna have to pry Yukiko away from her by the end of the night. Take a break.”

After being alone with Yukiko for almost a week, Shigaraki wasn’t sure what that was. Besides taking that shower when Uraraka was over, he hadn’t parted from her. He would eventually, once he found a daycare for her and went back to work. That was another hurdle he wasn’t looking forward to. Plus, he had to take her to the doctor. No doubt Himura hadn’t thought to keep Yukiko up to date on her shots while on the run. All for One hadn’t when he took in Shigaraki. Getting immunizations as an adult and while in prison had not been pleasant.

Touya gave him a look that said he was about to do something very unpleasant before shuffling out of the kitchen. It turned out that unpleasant thing was greeting his boisterous brother. It clearly wasn’t that bad, but he had appearances to maintain. Shigaraki could hear them talking as he set about fixing a bottle for Yukiko. The first few times he’d had to reread the instructions, if only because he kept forgetting what to do out of nervousness, but now he moved proficiently, throwing the formula milk bottle into the microwave for fifteen seconds. That boiling water business was too slow.

“Oh, Touya told me about, well-” Fuyumi gave him an awkward smile, her cheeks a little pink. Shigaraki tried not to roll his eyes out of fear that they would roll right out of his head. Touya and his big fucking mouth. He probably hadn’t been able to help himself, not where Fuyumi was concerned. It only irritated him a little. Touya wouldn’t tell anyone else, but he’d kind of expected him to tell her. “I’m just glad you have someone to help you.”

Shigaraki sighed. He hated to burst her bubble, but the last thing he needed was anyone getting the wrong idea about him and a pro hero. He had enough issues there as it was. “Like I told him, it’s not what it looked like.” Fuyumi glanced at him before pulling food out of the oven. “I ran into her. She insisted on helping. I realized I wasn’t in the position to turn it down. Besides, she was very persistent.”

Fuyumi frowned. “So it was just a one-time thing?”

He thought about the fact that Uraraka was coming over tomorrow morning to watch Yukiko while he ran errands and said, “Yeah, it was. I don’t need another pro hero poking around in my business.”

“What about a friend?” Fuyumi asked.

“Isn’t that what Touya is for?” Shigaraki replied blandly.

“Careful,” Fuyumi teased, “or people might think you two actually like each other.”

Shigaraki grunted in derision and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Fuyumi to finish whatever she needed to do. Touya was currently getting harassed by his taller younger brothers. Because of his prickly pride, no one mentioned his height to him. Shigaraki was saving that for when he really needed a sharp comeback to knock him off his high horse. One didn’t just use the perfect insult for no good reason.

Avoiding the brothers, Shigaraki turned his attention to Rei, who was sitting on the couch with Yukiko. After walking over to her, he held out his hands to take Yukiko back, but she shook her head. Biting back another sigh and remembering Fuyumi’s words, he handed her the bottle instead. Yukiko eagerly took it, sucking down its contents as if her life depended on it.

“Forgive me,” Rei said as she gazed fondly down at Yukiko. “I haven’t held a baby since Shouto.”

Shigaraki glanced at Todoroki, who was wearing a vaguely amused expression while Natsuo teased Touya about his hair, which he was still dyeing like the edgy bastard he was. It was hard to imagine the number two hero as a baby. He could still remember the kid from USJ. Even at fifteen, he’d been alarmingly strong, taking out villains in the blink of an eye. He’d only gotten worse (or better) since then.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Rei continued with a quiet laugh, “but he was actually a very sweet baby.” There was a sad look in her eyes that Shigaraki immediately recognized and knew better than to comment on. Touya hadn’t faked his death, changed his identity, and become a villain because he had a happy childhood. A smile appeared on her lips nonetheless. “Touya was even worse. He was very clingy, always wanting to be held or sleep in my bed.”

“Was he now?” Shigaraki murmured. He managed to meet Touya’s eyes, who narrowed them suspiciously as Shigaraki gave him a tamed down version of his old grin, just enough to let him know that he should be worried. Who had the embarrassing secret now? “You wouldn’t know from how standoffish he is.”

With Yukiko already done with the six ounces of formula, Rei set the bottle aside and lifted her up, patting her back harder than Shigaraki did in order to burp her. He was so wary of hurting her, but it appeared, judging by the way she burped with gusto, that a little force did her no harm. That out of the way, Rei sat Yukiko down on her legs to bounce her. There was that sad air about her again. Shigaraki had the bad feeling that he had been the one to bring it about. Hopefully, none of her sons would notice, or they’d get irritated with him, Touya included.

“Ah, I’m-”

“No.” Rei shook her head, although her eyes remained focused on Yukiko and she kept a smile on her face. “It’s not your fault. I just-” She took a deep breath. “You’re right: you wouldn’t think it of him now. He’s all hard, jagged edges and sky-high walls, even with me.” Yukiko seemed to half-smile as she was bounced. Shigaraki couldn’t help but watch her as Rei spoke of her oldest son, thinking about all the ways she could change between now and then. “He was a sweet boy - kind, gentle, needy. It was hard since his sister was there too, but I loved him for it. He made me feel wanted. And when his quirk manifested…”

Endeavor took ahold of him and never quite let go. Even after Touya had been tossed aside in favor of his youngest brother, he could never shake whatever grip his father had on him. Shigaraki stayed silent on the matter. He’d thought Touya immature and ridiculous when his true heritage came to light. Oh, he’d joined the League so he could get revenge on his dad? He was lucky that Endeavor had become the number one hero and Shigaraki had been all too eager to bring a man like that down.

It had been years and a lot had changed since then. Shigaraki’s thoughts on Endeavor? He could fucking suck it. Even if he had done what he could to mend the bridge between himself and his family, it was with the equivalent of duct tape as far as Touya was concerned. Maybe he was trying harder, but Shigaraki could understand where Touya was coming from. It wasn’t like he was gearing up for or wanting an apology from All for One.

Years of debilitating training, excruciating grooming, and the ghosts of affection and approval had messed both of them up in their own ways. They’d both come out with scars. Touya just had more visible ones. They had worn their pain on the outside, but Touya had acknowledged his in a way that Shigaraki never could.

“It’s not your fault,” Shigaraki blurted, unable to think of anything else that might erase the sadness radiating from Rei before Touya or someone else came over.

Rei gave him a reassuring look. “Not entirely, no, but it is.” That wasn’t reassuring at all, but when her gaze moved over to her boys, something happened. She warmed up and the sadness was gone. Yukiko reached out for her face, grazing Rei’s cheek with her chubby fingers. “As soon as his quirk manifested, I started to push him away. My own son, my boy. He wanted to be with me all the time and then I didn’t want anything to do with him at times. How that must have hurt him…”

Shigaraki’s mouth was dry. “I won’t…” He started at Yukiko, bouncing and playing. He thought of his own quirk - how All for One had reveled in it. Such a strong quirk… No one understands it… “I won’t do that with her.”

“I know.” Rei leaned forward to nuzzle noses with Yukiko. “We’ve all learned from our mistakes.”

Before Shigaraki could say anything, Natsuo appeared and plopped onto the couch next to Rei, bouncing Yukiko an inordinate amount, which made Shigaraki jerk forward for a second. Rei had a good grip on her though, barely even phased by the movement. “What are you two chatting about, hm?” her middle son asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

If Shouto didn’t like Shigaraki, then Natsuo outright loathed him. Tried to kill one brother and corrupted the other - that was the how Natsuo saw him. The first one, he understood. The second one? Shigaraki had told Touya to leave, but he hadn’t listened. It wasn’t his fault his brother was a dumbass.

Rei glanced at Shigaraki. She must have seen the strained look on his face because she turned to her son and said, “Oh, just about how cute Yukiko is. Would you look at her?” She stroked Yukiko’s cheek. Even Natsuo, for all that he didn’t like Shigaraki, couldn’t stop the smiling from appearing on his face as he watched the baby. “When are any of you going to give me grandchildren?”

“And I’m out!” Natsuo exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He grabbed Todoroki by the shoulder and all but threw him onto the couch in his place. “You’re up.”

“What?” Todoroki managed, looking like an animal thrown into a cage. Shigaraki almost laughed. “Touya-”

“Oh no.” Touya shook his head and kept his distance. “Leave me out of this.”

It occurred to Shigaraki that all of the Todoroki children must’ve had complexes or issues when it came to the concept of having children. It was unavoidable. Shigaraki knew because he had them. He’d never considered himself the type to have a family, but here he was, attempting to raise a daughter he didn’t even know he had until after the fact. Even if he hadn’t planned on being a father, he had to learn to be one for her.

“Dinner’s ready!” Fuyumi exclaimed behind them.

Shigaraki heard Todoroki mumble, “Oh thank you,” before he stood up. Both he and Shigaraki moved to help Rei up. They glared at each other for having the same idea before she waved them off and stood up effortlessly despite the baby in her arms. Granted, she’d had four kids, so she obviously had more practice than him. Getting up off the couch with Yukiko in his arms was one of Shigaraki’s greatest life struggles at the moment.

“I can take her,” Shigaraki said immediately.

“Can I hold her for a little longer?” Rei asked. It was so hard to say no to her - damn near impossible. Shigaraki did not consider himself the sentimental type, but the way she looked at Yukiko pulled at something in his soul. “You should eat. I felt like I had to hide in a closet in order to eat when the twins were this age.”

Without thinking, he nodded his head and Rei moved on to sit down on a cushion at the table. He had no idea he could resonate so well with someone, but Shigaraki understood her completely. Yukiko could be dead ass asleep, but the second he went to take a bite of food, she would wake up screaming. It was like she knew he was eating without her and she didn’t like it. At least this time there would be someone to hold her while he ate. A part of him was grateful, a part of him didn’t give a shit, and the rest was antsy to hold her again.

Was this parenthood? It was awful.

*

Fuyumi was staring down at the passed out figure of Shigaraki with more anxiety than necessary, biting her nails as she glanced around furtively. It wasn’t that she thought anything bad would happen if he continued to sleep; he just wouldn’t be happy once he woke up.

Still true to his character, Shigaraki was not the type of person who liked to hand off control. He liked to be in charge of everything. He’d been forced to learn how to delegate once he was the official leader of the League of Villains, but it had been a hard-learned lesson, just as figuring out how to follow without actively fighting against the person leading had been for Touya. Neither of them could be the main character. They had to share the controls. It hadn’t been easy.

With a baby, Shigaraki had reverted right back to where he’d once been. Overly suspicious, aloof, and struggling to allow anyone else to take charge. She was his and relinquishing her in the slightest meant that something could go wrong and he would be unable to stop it.

The idiot needed a break.

“Just let him sleep,” Touya suggested idly.

After dinner, it had become apparent how exhausted Shigaraki was. Not even Touya could ignore it. He’d taken a lot on his shoulders and it was starting to become obvious. He had been quiet all dinner, which was expected of the one outsider in the Todoroki gathering, but afterward, he had crawled onto the couch and passed out with Yukiko on his chest. The only reason Fuyumi was so anxious was that she’d carefully taken the baby off of him once she started to wake up. She wasn’t afraid of Shigaraki jerking awake and hurting her out of panic as many people would assume of him.

It was those old nerves again - the ones that came from having Endeavor as a father - like she was being forced to walk on eggshells and the wrong move or sound would send him into a screaming rage. Fuyumi had suffered under their father differently. Once their mother had been institutionalized, certain things had been expected of her and, if she failed to meet them, while he never once struck her like he had their mom, Touya, or Shouto, she was punished for not fulfilling her duty all the same.

Even to this day, she didn’t like it when people yelled at her. She’d grown a lot braver - a lot tougher - but yelling still sometimes made her tense up or jump. Shigaraki doing just that would send her into a spiral and, while Touya also knew he would regret it almost instantly, waking up from an impromptu nap without his daughter in his arms would definitely be something that could set him off before he could think straight.

Idiot. He was already so attached and didn’t even realize it.

“Are you sure?” Fuyumi asked while she bounced a gurgling Yukiko in her arms. “Won’t he get mad?”

“Yup,” Touya replied.

“And that doesn’t worry you?”

“Nope.” If Touya had ever gotten too worried about Shigaraki getting angry with him, he wouldn’t have stayed in the League or maintained contact with him after. Besides, he was pretty sure Shigaraki was always mad on some level, especially with him. “He’ll get over it.”

Fuyumi took one last glance at Shigaraki, who was now snoring with his mouth open and one hand flopped onto the ground, and mumbled, “If you say so,” before carrying Yukiko into the dining room with Touya following her.

While Shigaraki had taken a fussy Yukiko into the living room, the rest of them had stayed in the dining area to chat after dinner. Perhaps he thought he was being slick, but Touya had noticed Shouto spending a good chunk of dinner texting underneath the table. He’d almost called him out, but thought better of it. That was something he could ask later. He had a feeling he knew what the texts were about anyway, even if Shouto didn’t seem to pay much attention to the two extra people at the table.

As soon as everything was cleaned up, Natsuo left, proclaiming an early morning at work, and took their mom with him to drop her off at her apartment. It turned out that getting divorced from the former number one hero and not having a job to provide for herself was advantageous when it came to alimony. Touya still refused to admit that their father was capable of being anything less than a shit stain on humanity, but he had been the one to offer the maximum amount for her. There had been no fighting in court. It had been a quiet, simple affair.

It had been downright pleasant compared to their marriage. That was what it should’ve been.

Maybe Shigaraki was lucky that Yukiko’s mother was in jail and already out of the picture. He wouldn’t have to deal with the technicalities and issues that came with co-parenting or suffer an attempt at navigating an actual relationship. It was clear that, despite his relations with Himura, Shigaraki had been in no state or desire for one. He hadn’t even blinked when she’d up and vanished. In retrospect, he probably should’ve paid more attention, seeing as how he’d gotten her pregnant.

“I have to admit,” Fuyumi said as she sat down. “He’s doing a lot better than I expected.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Touya replied. Okay, Shigaraki was doing better than he’d expected too, but he was more focused on the baby at the moment. She was making a face at him that he wasn’t entirely fond of, but it was the hand grabbing motions that made him leery.

Rolling her eyes, Fuyumi held the baby out. “Stop being an ass.” After glancing back to the living room to make sure Shigaraki was still snoring, he took Yukiko from his sister. The baby immediately snuggled up against him. It might’ve warmed his heart if not for how thoroughly he did not want to like this kid. “See, she’s not so bad, now is she?”

“I’m pretty sure she’s shitting,” Touya said blandly.

A grin quirked across Fuyumi’s face as she stood up. “Why do you think I gave her to you?”

“For fuck’s sake, take her back then!” Touya snapped, lifting her as far away from him as possible.

“I have to get her stuff,” Fuyumi explained with a laugh as she went in search of the backpack Shigaraki had brought with him. That left Touya with the baby, who was both giggling and getting smellier by the second.

After turning her around so they were facing each other, Touya glowered at Yukiko, who apparently wasn’t scared at all. “You and me are gonna have to have a talk about this. I’ll hold you when your dad isn’t around, but I am not dealing with your shit - literally.”

The baby pawed the air in an attempt to grab his face. Maybe, if she didn’t smell so much, he would’ve brought her closer, but for now, he kept her at a distance. She was…kind of cute, even with her dad’s deep red eyes, but she was also currently a very gross little wiggle worm. They’d work out a deal eventually. Shigaraki didn’t have to know that Touya was actually pretty good with kids. Being the oldest child with a father who was neglectful at best and an abused and mentally unstable mother had given him a lot of practice.

Notes:

So I didn't write the entire dinner... But rest assured, it will get talked about. ;)

Also, this glorious comment from Yehn'zi in the server:

-- My favorite part of this chapter was actually this:

"What about a friend?" Fuyumi asked.
"Isn't that what Touya is for?"

In order to qualify as a "normal" human being, you must have at least one (1) friend.
Shigaraki logic: Touya's existence in this world finally has purpose. --

Chapter 9: The Babysitting Gig

Notes:

Ya'll ready for some prime Shigako content? I know I am. I do a fair amount of texting in this fic. For this chapter at least, Uraraka's texts are italicized while Shigaraki's is bold. I think I've stuck to Shigaraki's being bold throughout the entire fic. Because that's just how he rolls. Okay, so I don't know the exact process of how he would get Yukiko a birth certificate and all that freaking jazz since she's like over three months at this point and there are no records of her existence, which means that I kinda glazed over it. For the sake of my sanity, please forgive me. Just know that he is doing His Best and I'm doing My Almost Best.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Babies are cool... until you've done everything there's to do with them, then you get bored. That's why TV shows about babies never last more than a year."
-- Burt Chance (Raising Hope)

.

 

The first thing Shigaraki noticed was that he was warm and, despite being in a small space, cozy. That was right; he fell asleep on the couch at Touya’s place. A part of him was irritated at having put himself in such a vulnerable state, which Touya had no doubt joked about at his expense while he couldn’t defend himself, but another part didn’t care. It had been a while since he’d felt this well-rested.

Feeling warm and cozy wasn’t something he was used to. His apartment got kind of drafty, which wouldn’t be bad if he didn’t kick off all the blankets in his sleep and found himself exposed by the morning. His erratic movements in his sleep were why he was so wary about co-sleeping with Yukiko. He was worried that he might hurt her or knock her off the bed or something if he passed out in the bed with her. At least on the couch, they were in a confined space where he didn’t have room to move, allowing her to sleep solidly on his chest.

Eyes still closed, Shigaraki shifted on the couch and moved his hands to get a better grip on her.

Only to find nothing on his chest. Just the blanket Fuyumi had laid on him.

Shigaraki shot upright so fast that a dizzy spell waved over him. Placing a hand on his head to steady himself, he cried into an empty room, “Where is she?” His voice was raspy from sleeping with his mouth open. Shit. Had he been snoring? He did that occasionally when he was well and truly exhausted. Touya would not let him live it down. Not everyone slept like the dead like him. Nothing short of a tsunami could wake him up. Sometimes even that was iffy, depending on how much he’d used his quirk recently. Shigaraki was that storm as he dragged himself down the hallway and banged on Touya’s door. “Hey, bastard, where’s my kid?”

“Calm your shit!” Touya snapped grouchily from inside. There was shuffling and then Touya opened the door, rubbing at his eyes like he hadn’t slept all night. It was difficult to tell how tired he was considering he had permanent dark purple skin under his eyes. “She’s with Yumi. Goddamn, did you think we kidnapped her or something?”

Opening his mouth, Shigaraki thought to shoot something back, only to find that he didn’t have anything to say. No, he hadn’t thought they would kidnap or do anything to her. It wasn’t like Fuyumi would let Touya safe drop her like he’d suggested that first night. It was just that, well… Waking up without her in arm’s reach, even after a week, had scared the shit out of him. His entire life had revolved around her for almost seven days. It was a sudden and extreme change that was simultaneously hard to deal with and surprisingly easy to accept.

A moment later, the door to Fuyumi’s bedroom opened and she peeked her head out, a bright smile on her face. Unlike Touya (and Shigaraki), she was clearly a morning person. She was already dressed and showered while Touya looked like he’d slept in his clothes from last night. “Look who it is!” she cheerily greeted before holding up a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Yukiko. As soon as she saw him, she wobbled forward in Fuyumi’s arms, like she was trying to reach for him.

It gave him a funny feeling in his chest that he tried to ignore.

As soon as Yukiko was back in his arms, a sense of relief washed over Shigaraki. He couldn’t have said why - surely she was in better hands with Fuyumi - but the panic that he’d felt upon waking up without her was gone. She didn’t have the coordination or strength to hug him exactly, but she did lay her head against his shoulder and put her hands near his neck. It had a strange effect. Not long ago, he would’ve flinched at the idea of someone hugging him, but he didn’t mind this. Even when she clung to him, it wasn’t tightly, just enough for him to know she didn’t want him to let go.

That kind of trust was hard-fought to earn. He wasn’t sure if he deserved it or not, even after all his progress to become a “better person” or whatever.

“Thanks,” Shigaraki grumbled, unable to muster much more.

“No problem,” Fuyumi replied with a chipper smile. “You needed the sleep. Besides, we had a fun time last night, didn’t we, Touya?”

Unlike his sister, Touya rolled his eyes. “It was a blast. I love being shit on.”

A sense of pride burst inside Shigaraki’s chest as he looked down at his daughter, who did not look ashamed of what she’d done for a single second. “That’s my girl.” He even managed a little smirk, which Touya did not like at all. More than likely Fuyumi had done most of the work taking care of her. “She wasn’t a problem?”

“Nah, she was easier than I remember Shouto being,” Fuyumi said. Touya snorted and nodded his head. Apparently, he hadn’t been the only clingy baby in the family. Shigaraki didn’t say anything. He would save that bit of information for later. He’d probably need it eventually. “She even slept some after taking a nap on you. She was a good baby.”

“Yeah,” Shigaraki said distractedly as he pulled out his phone to check the time, “she-”

Uraraka
Hey! So we sorta forgot to specify a time I was supposed to come over to watch Yukiko.
No biggie! Figured I’d head over in like ten. You’re probably awake. =P

“Shit!”

It wasn’t that Shigaraki had forgotten that Uraraka was coming over to babysit while he did a bunch of very tedious and bureaucratic errands. To be honest, he couldn’t not think about it for the past two days. What was he doing: letting a pro hero babysit his child while he was out and about? What was he thinking asking for help like that? It was beyond stupid. He did not need this woman in his life any more than she already had been - and that included the times he’d indirectly tried to kill her.

Fuyumi jumped a little. “Um, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just-” Shigaraki rushed around (well, as fast as he could with a three-month-old in his arms) and gathered their things. He swiped a bottle on the kitchen table and shoved it in the backpack and then hurried to slip his shoes on. “I’ve just got some, uh, time-sensitive things I need to do today for her and I was not planning on being asleep for so long.”

“We can watch her if that makes things easier for you,” Fuyumi offered.

“Oh no, not after last night,” Touya said while shaking his head. As if he’d done anything to help watch over Yukiko. “I think you got your baby fix for the week.”

“It’s not necessary,” Shigaraki said as he shoved his foot into his shoe. Why was it being so difficult? He didn’t notice the surprised look on Fuyumi’s face or the suspicious one on Touya’s. He was too distracted to catch the pointed look the twins shared with each other. “Thanks for dinner and sleep.”

Touya was already waving and heading back to his bedroom while Fuyumi slowly said, “Okay, if you’re sure…” and then Shigaraki was out the door. Was it rude of him to leave so abruptly and without a proper explanation? Uh, most definitely. Did it bother him? Not really. They’d understood. Uraraka had sent that text ten minutes ago, which meant she was likely on her way to his place. His phone buzzing in his pocket must’ve been what had woken him up.

To be honest, Yukiko seemed to enjoy the way he practically booked it to the train station. He’d left the baby carrier there without thinking, but he could always get it after he was done with his errands. Maybe it was the bouncing in his arms. By the time he slipped onto a train car before it departed, she was close to laughing. She certainly had a big smile on her face. Meanwhile he was out of breath and resisted the urge to double over and wheeze. The train ride was painfully long, but at least it wasn’t cramped this early in the morning on a Saturday. Fewer work commuters.

However, after jumping off on his exit, he received another text from Uraraka: Um anyone home? I knocked a few times. You alive in there?

Shit shit shit. Uraraka had managed to beat him to his own place. He probably looked like an ass. Not that he cared about what he looked like, especially to her, but it was irritating. The longer she was there, the higher chance one of his neighbors figured out a pro hero was standing outside his apartment waiting for him. He did not need that kind of scrutiny in the neighborhood he lived in.

Somehow, Shigaraki managed to hold Yukiko in one hand and awkwardly text with the other ( eta five minutes ) while rushing down the sidewalk. If he had to knock over some asshole to get out of his way so he could get faster, then so be it. He was not in the mood for this at all. Yes, he was well-rested and he felt more energized than usual without the help of energy drinks, but he was also completely out of sorts, which meant he’d probably say or do something that would piss someone off.

Preferably not his...babysitter.

When he finally reached the floor of his apartment, Shigaraki spotted Uraraka leaning back against his apartment door with a foot propped up on it while she scrolling through something on her cell. To be honest, he was kind of huffing and puffing from the running, which must have been what alerted her to his presence. Her face actually lit up upon seeing him - or, well, Yukiko, who was laughing from all the bouncing he’d unintentionally put her through. At least one of them was having fun.

“Did you decide to take her out for a run?” Uraraka asked, clearly amused by his winded state.

Shigaraki dug around in his pockets for his keys. “I ended up crashing at Touya’s.”

“Must have been some dinner,” Uraraka mused as he unlocked his door and pushed it open with his foot.

“It wasn’t planned,” Shigaraki stated, even if it was obvious judging by his lack of being ready. He turned around to face her, lifting Yukiko. “Could you-?”

But Uraraka was already taking Yukiko from him without question. She even looked excited. Despite normally being hesitant at first upon being passed off, Yukiko looked mostly content (or uncaring) in the pro hero’s arms. “We’re going to have fun today, aren’t we?” It was like Shigaraki didn’t even exist. She was solely focused on the baby, smiling brightly and nuzzling noses with her. And then her eyes flickered up to his. Oh, she hadn’t forgotten him. “Go on. Take a shower. Get whatever you need. I’ve got this.”

“You’re sure?” Shigaraki asked once more.

He was expecting some placating words to soothe him. What he got was Uraraka snorting and actively shoving him in the direction of the bathroom. “Go!” He was so shocked that he didn’t even have time to resist. Within seconds, he found himself inside and the door shut in his face.

Well, she was certainly comforting. It got the point across though. He might not trust her, but she was here and that was what mattered. He stopped wasting time and set to getting ready.

It didn’t take him long, considering that there was a lot he had to do today. Naomasa had said he wouldn’t need Yukiko today, but eventually, he would have to bring her in order to take a DNA test. As for now, they had to figure out how to get her in the system so she existed. He had a bad feeling that Naomasa wouldn’t be the only one there today, but he would deal with that when the time came. On top of that, he had to check in with his probation officer, who would undoubtedly be shocked by the news of his fatherhood. Fun times.

Since he’d been kind of slacking on the routine and needed to look his best in front of a bunch of fucking bureaucratic and legal fucks who would undoubtedly judge him, Shigaraki was forced to take extra care with moisturizing with a special quirk-enhanced lotion. He wasn’t the only one out there whose quirk managed to dry their skin. It definitely took off a certain foreboding edge to him. It didn’t give him perfectly clear skin by any means, but he was normal. Add some sunglasses and no one could tell a thing.

Unfortunately, by the time he took care of that and mostly dried his hair with a towel, he realized that all he had in the bathroom were his dirty clothes and a towel. He did not want to put those on again. Besides, this was his home. He refused to be uncomfortable in it. There was just a quick jaunt to his bedroom. It’d be fine. Uraraka could get over herself. It wasn’t like she’d never seen a man’s torso before. Half the heroes out there wore as little clothing as possible, usually the men to show off their muscles.

After securing the towel around himself (he would not be uncomfortable, he would not be insecure, he didn’t give a shit about stuff like this, for fuck’s sake, he wasn’t Touya with his wardrobe malfunction shirts), Shigaraki opened the bathroom door and called out, “You better look away because I’m coming out!”

He heard Uraraka laugh. “What? Do you just walk around your place naked or-?”

She was either looking away like he had told her or she wasn’t - it mattered not to him as he strode out ( too quick, damnit ) - but she cut herself off into a sputtering mess that would’ve made him either sneer or laugh at her if he hadn’t thrown himself into the bedroom. It couldn’t have been longer than three seconds, but by the time he had the door shut and was locked in his dark room, his face was on fire and he almost disintegrated the towel.

He didn’t have time for this.

Quickly dressing, Shigaraki decidedly did not think about what had just happened, as it didn’t matter and wasn’t that embarrassing. He had more important things to worry about: such as getting Yukiko’s identification papers (it was hard since he didn’t know where and when she’d been born exactly), checking in with his probation officer, and most likely dealing with a former pro hero that he did not want to deal with. He only wanted to work with one former enemy and so far Uraraka was the easiest choice by far out of most of those options.

By the time he stepped out of the bedroom, feeling more like a human than he had in a week, he found Uraraka lying on her back on a large blanket on the floor with Yukiko, a few toys floating above them much to Yukiko’s amusement. In shorts and a t-shirt, she looked comfortable. Odd considering she was in the apartment of an enemy. Former enemy. It shouldn’t have been possible. It shouldn’t be happening at all. A week ago he would’ve thrown a person out for suggesting anything remotely close to this.

But there she was, smiling and giggling with Yukiko as she poked and prodded floating toys down for the baby to paw at playfully. She was sort of grabbing things now, but it was still hard for her to maintain a grip on things outside of fingers, clothes, and hair. Man, she loved to grab hair. He should get a haircut too while he was out if he had time.

Shigaraki cleared his throat to announce he was back. It probably wasn’t necessary and he wasn’t sure why he did it, but Uraraka looked up at him from her spot on the ground. Her cheeks were already pink, but they seemed pinker than normal. Maybe he was just looking into things. “How long can you watch her?”

Rolling up into the sitting position, her legs folded underneath her, Uraraka replied, “As long as I’ve got thirty minutes to get to work, I should be fine. It’ll probably take more time to get into my hero costume than to get there.”

“Yeah,” Shigaraki muttered to himself as he replaced Yukiko’s baby stuff in the backpack with all the necessary paperwork on his desk, “that thing is tight as fuck.”

Uraraka coughed. “You have everything?”

He looked into his backpack as if he could discern it with just a glance and then sighed as he zipped it up. “Only one way to find out.” No doubt there would be something else. This was a weird situation. He had to sort it out as soon as possible though so he could get her to see a doctor. Who knew how long it had been? If ever? Slinging a strap over his shoulder, Shigaraki took one last long look at Yukiko. She seemed happy. No, she was happy. It was clear that she very much liked Uraraka. He didn’t know if that meant anything, but it did put him a little at ease.

You’re leaving your child with a pro hero. You should not rest easy at all.

“Relax,” Uraraka piped up, as if reading his mind. “She’s not going anywhere. She’ll be here when you get back.”

Shigaraki fought the urge to curl his lip. “Forgive me if I don’t-”

“Trust me?” Uraraka cut in, her head tilted to the side. He pressed his lips together in a thin line, which he had been told not to do since it made his scar stand out more. She gave him an almost gentle smile in return, seemingly not perturbed, and then turned her gaze down to Yukiko. “Yeah, I suppose I wouldn’t either in your shoes.”

“I don’t trust a lot of people,” Shigaraki pointed out, like that meant anything.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” Uraraka looked back up at him and waved a hand. “Go on. You’ve got stuff to do. I’ll send you pictures and updates to help you deal with missing her.”

Shigaraki was the one to snort this time. “Miss her? That little monster?”

He could tell Uraraka was fighting to urge to broaden her smile. “Okay, to reassure you that I’m not kidnapping your child and she’s perfectly safe.”

“Just don’t float her,” Shigaraki told her.

Uraraka gasped in what sounded like mock offense or maybe it was real. “I would never!” He didn’t think she would, but he thought to bring it up anyway. One could never be too careful. Heroes did tend to use their quirks carelessly. He’d seen her use her quirk at least three times outside of her job now. The last time he’d used his had been when he destroyed the bottle and formula Himura had given him. “Now stop stalling or I’m gonna accuse you of being clingy.”

He gave her a light scowl, but walked to the door without a word. He wasn’t clingy. Shigaraki didn’t do goodbyes, but for the first time, as he glanced at his daughter and Uraraka before walking out of the apartment, he thought he should do something. He didn’t. She would be fine. It wasn’t like she knew what the word “goodbye” meant, after all.

*

Uraraka waited at least thirty seconds after Shigaraki shut the door before she let out a breath and flopped back on the ground next to Yukiko. Well, that was...interesting and embarrassing. It shouldn’t have been, but apparently, the gods liked to have their fun with her or something. That could be the only explanation for why she was babysitting for a man who had tried to kill her closest friends.

That had to be why she had been in the position to see said former enemy nearly naked. Basically naked.

It had only been a flash and she really hadn’t seen much before she’d averted her gaze and he’d ducked into his bedroom, but it was much more than she’d ever anticipated on seeing in her life. Times like these called for a frantic text to Mina, who was the only one of her friends who could possibly understand the absurdity of the situation, but when she pulled her phone out of her pocket, she hesitated.

What was she supposed to text Mina? Omg, I just saw Shigaraki in only a towel?

That lacked an extremely important amount of context that she couldn’t explain, not without betraying what very little trust he had in her. It was even odder how that had become an important thing, but she wouldn’t break it. He was letting her watch his daughter. She could tell how much he was struggling with that decision, but he had done it. He had allowed her to help him. That had to be in the right step. From what she remembered about her discussions with Deku in the past on him, Shigaraki had refused help from both All Might and Deku on multiple occasions.

Uraraka could not say why she had seen him in such a state without explaining what the hell was going on. Not unless she wanted to look like she was in a really compromising situation. Those magazines that ragged on Mina and falsely accused her of so many things and had humiliated Uraraka after her last relationship came to an end would have a field day with this.

No, it was best for everyone involved to keep this as quiet as possible. No one needed to know of her involvement. They’d jump to their own conclusions and they would be wrong. She couldn’t say why she had been so insistent on helping except that it was the best thing to do. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing, but it was good and she felt good for doing it. Was that selfish? Probably - but it helped them both out in the end. No one got hurt. Everyone got something out of it.

This was a mutually beneficial relationship. Partnership? Business? Acquaintanceship? Was that a word?

Still, a towel - she’d seen him in just a towel. Uraraka’s face flooded red as she thought about it and she almost floated herself to the ceiling out of pure habit. It was awkward and weird. He couldn’t have been as completely unaffected as he’d come across when he had stepped out of the bedroom, but then again, maybe he truly didn’t care. She was just some pro hero to him that he could use for now.

No, not use. Someone he needed for now. That sounded more like it. He hadn’t treated her like a tool at least.

Uraraka sat upright and pressed her hands down on her knees, shaking her head at herself. “Get it together, Ochako. You’re being super weird about this. Keep thinking like this and you’re gonna have weird dreams.” She had a very vivid imagination and that often turned against her at night if she thought about something for too long during the day - and she did not need to think about that. “You’re here for the baby.” She put a bright smile on her face and reached down to pick up Yukiko. “And we’re going to have fun! What do you want to do first? You seem relaxed. Want to watch a cartoon or listen to music?” She looked around. “I wonder if he has any books…”

It turned out that Shigaraki owned a plethora of movies and even more video games, probably because of where he worked. He didn’t own a stereo (at least not from where she could see in the space that wasn’t the bedroom), so she figured he listened to most music on his computer or maybe some device. That made sense. It was what she did. He didn’t own any cartoon movies except for anime, which...now that she thought about, made even more sense.

Shigaraki was kind of - no, he was a huge nerd.

Uraraka smiled to herself as she picked out what she knew was a sweet anime. Well, sweet in the sense that its violence was even cute. She wondered if Assassination Classroom bothered him in some way, considering that he had been raised and taught to kill as a child as well, but then the teacher in this anime was kind in comparison and genuinely cared about his students. Was it baby appropriate? Debatable, but she liked the characters, life lessons, and the storyline. Plus, the government agent guy reminded her of Aizawa.

It helped that one of the main characters - with his big goofy yellow head - very much appealed to Yukiko the second he appeared on the screen. Uraraka sat back on the couch, which was about as worn through as hers, and cuddled up with Yukiko under a blanket. She might as well enjoy this quiet moment while it lasted before she undoubtedly became fussy as all babies did.

*

How’s it going? Have you tried to bang your head against a wall yet?

I’m going to eat my own shoe if I have to wait any longer for these assholes to get their shit together.

Oh no! Don’t do that. You should only eat your shoe as a last resort.

Like when? I’m getting pretty desperate here. I’ve dealt with like ten different idiots.

You know, like when you’re in the belly of a monster that represents a twisted version of Truth.

Shigaraki almost dropped his phone. Naomasa gave him a strange look, but he waved it off and the detective looked away and went back to arguing with whoever was in charge of things like birth certificates and important documents like that. This was a mess. He needed a break and Uraraka’s text had come at the right time. Still, he hadn’t been prepared for a message like that.

Are you really referencing FMA?

Yes. I need to know you have good anime taste for Yukiko’s sake. I saw your collection.

Going through my shit? That’s rude isn’t it?

I wanted to find something fun for us to watch. Turns out anime got her hyped up. She keeps trying to bounce on me.

You’re bouncy. As soon as Shigaraki sent that text, he regretted it. Bouncy? What the fuck did that even mean? Before Uraraka had the chance to question him, he decided to change the conversation. Naomasa found out when and where Yukiko was born, but that’s just the start.

Is it just you two?

Good. She moved on without commenting on his dumbass text. Bad - because her question hit a sore spot. Without thinking, Shigaraki’s eyes roved over to the other person with them. It was true that All Might still bore a decent amount of clout even if he was stuck in that emaciated form and hadn’t been the number one hero for a while. What he did have a lot of was money. Apparently, that was the only way to get things done around here. No one was going to say it, but it was true.

I wish.

Sorry you’re having such a shitty time. :( Here’s a pic to cheer you up!

The next text to come through from Uraraka was a picture of Yukiko. She was sitting propped up against the arm of the couch, her eyes closed and mouth wide open in what looked like a laugh. An actual laugh. It...did make him feel a little better, seeing that she was okay. More than okay. He wasn’t about to thank Uraraka for a picture of his own daughter, but maybe his eyes did linger on it for a little longer than necessary.

“Oh, she looks very happy,” All Might announced, using his lanky form to peer over Shigaraki’s shoulder to look down at the phone screen.

Shigaraki immediately turned his screen off and scowled. “Hey, did you suddenly forget the term ‘privacy’?”

All Might actually blushed and sank back in his seat. “I didn’t mean-”

“Whatever,” Shigaraki grumbled, shoving his phone back in his pocket. If All Might had to be here for this process to go quicker, then so be it, but that didn’t mean he was going to share pictures of Yukiko with him to gush over.

“Who’s watching her while you’re here?” All Might asked curiously.

“Someone.”

Refusing to say another word on the matter, Shigaraki bit his tongue. When he snuck a glance at the former hero, he could tell the answer wasn’t good enough. Well tough shit. He didn’t owe All Might any answers. Did he think Shigaraki had hit up one of his old villain contacts to watch her? His business was his own. His relationships were his own. For all All Might knew, one of his coworkers was watching her. (Not that he would ever trust one of those idiots with a baby.) It wasn’t his place.

Sighing, All Might turned his attention to the woman typing away at the computer in front of them. “Well, she appears to be in good hands, so I won’t worry.”

“Good,” Shigaraki ground out, “because you don’t need to worry about her.”

All Might muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “I’m more worried about you,” but Shigaraki didn’t have time to decipher it when the bureaucratic demon woman turned her attention back to them. He just wanted to get this shit over with.

*

How’s she doing?

She got a fussy about thirty minutes ago and had a good crying spell, but she ate and is back to chilling.

How much did she eat?

6 oz. She gulped it down!

Yeah she’s gonna eat me out of house and home.

No kidding. You better check into that thing I was telling you about once you get all the paperwork sorted.

She’s ok now though?

Uraraka smiled at the text. Although Shigaraki tried to pass himself off as nonchalant and uncaring, she could tell that he was concerned about his daughter. Either that or dealing with government stuff was so horrible that he would rather be up for two days straight with a crying baby. For good measure, she took a picture of Yukiko, who looked close to passing out while propped up against a few pillows, and sent it to him. That would help him cool his jets. She had to be tired. A full belly and no nap? She was ready to be down for the count.

She looks tired.

She is. Been fighting it. I think she misses her papa.

Doubtful. She’s only known me a week. She probably misses her mom.

Uraraka bit her lip. She was hesitant to admit that she had looked up Yukiko’s mother, but she had been too curious and she didn’t think Shigaraki was the sharing type. Would telling him make him feel like she’d gone behind his back? Then again, maybe if she copped to it now, it wouldn’t be so bad if he found out later.

Dunno about that. I looked up her charges. I don’t think anyone would miss her.

I sure as shit don’t.

Crisis averted. Uraraka breathed out a sigh of relief. It didn’t look like Shigaraki cared whether or not Uraraka had used her hero credentials to snoop around for details. He seemed more concerned with her snooping around his apartment, which she honestly hadn’t been doing. It wasn’t like she’d tried to get on his computer or go through any of the looseleaf papers lying around on his desk and kitchen table, which looked like it was meant more for stacking things on it than eating meals.

How are things on your end?

Better. Faster now. Still shitty.

A snort escaped Uraraka as he pulled her legs onto the couch and leaned back next to Yukiko. Shigaraki was a real positive peach. She sent a simple text back ( Sounds like fun ) and started up the next episode of Assassination Classroom. Maybe, if Yukiko fell asleep, she could pick out a video game to play. He had a startling amount, but a very wide variety.

When her phone buzzed from a text, she was surprised to see it was a picture. When she opened it, instead of it being one of Shigaraki, it was of a bunch of papers. Uraraka giggled a little. Yeah, that looked right with all the stuff he had to do. Fun indeed.

Another text came quickly after that: You mind if I get a haircut while I’m out?

Uraraka glanced knowingly at Yukiko and sent back: You probably should. She likes to pull on hair.

Found that out the hard way didn’t you?

I’m a little more tender-headed than I realized.

Shigaraki probably found that entertaining - his daughter pulling on a pro hero’s hair and hurting her. Uraraka had not anticipated Yukiko having such a strong grip and pull at three months, but damn if it didn’t sting when she got a hold of her bangs and yanked. Setting her phone down on the table, she picked up a fussy Yukiko and held her against her chest. The baby stilled almost instantly and was asleep in seconds. Okay, maybe Uraraka could just lay here and watch tv. That was fine too.

Notes:

Touya was, in fact, not sleeping all night. He was hanging out with Fuyumi and Yukiko. Poor bastard probably just got to sleep when Shigaraki woke up and started banging on his door like a lunatic. lmao But Shigaraki must never know.

Chapter 10: this might as well happen

Notes:

Well, we had two cutoff points for this chapter that was either going to make it a little under 4k or a little over 9k. You can guess which one we chose. lmao #blessed that I'm so ahead on this fic and still have so much steam left for it too. I got the flu this weekend, but thankfully Misty is an incredible beta, so I didn't have to do much work. Uraraka's situation is something that I've gone through as well and it sucks A LOT. Catch me projecting like hell in this fic and trying to make it realistic. LOL OOPS. Have fun! Things are starting to get messy and more entangled. Pffft

Chapter Text

"That's not fair. You used my daughter without my permission. Would you make your own baby?"
-- Jimmy Chance (Raising Hope, "Baby Monitor")

.

To be honest, Shigaraki wasn’t sure how much he had accomplished today, but he had a folder filled to bursting with paperwork that gave existence to his daughter. It was official now: Yukiko Shimura. He wasn’t sure how he managed it, considering how there had been so many questions, loops to jump through, and walls to run into, but he had finally made a person… into a legally existing person. It was far more complicated than it should have been.

(Would he have been able to do everything without All Might’s and Naomasa’s help? Not without going back to jail. Was he going to outright admit that to them? He’d rather go back to jail. They could take his grumbled half-assed thanks or nothing at all.)

After splitting ways with them, Shigaraki went to check in with his parole officer. The entire way there he weighed the decision on whether to tell her he had essentially taken full custody of the daughter he didn’t know he had until a week ago. There wasn’t anything she could do really and it wasn’t like she would take Yukiko away, but he was wary of what she would think about that.

It was even worse when he thought about his next court-mandated appointment with his therapist. To be honest, he would have preferred to keep the one he had while in prison, but she had only worked with incarcerated felons. The one he had now was fine, but he didn’t seem to know what approach to take with him. Undoubtedly he would have a lot to say about Shigaraki’s decision to keep Yukiko and not all of them would be good. Could being saddled with the responsibility of a three-month-old human baby hinder his progress? Maybe. Could it help him? Possibly.

Everything was up in the air when it came to a child and his therapist had been getting onto him about structure. Well, babies needed to be on schedule according to many websites and, once she started eating real food, she would have to be on a balanced diet. His therapist could surely get behind that.

In the end, Shigaraki came clean to his parole officer. He even showed her the paperwork that he’d taken care of that morning and the picture Uraraka had sent him. While she had been definitely caught off guard and uncertain about if it was a good thing, she hadn’t outright said it was a terrible idea. They would have to make a note of it in his file. A few other things might need to be done. She did gently point out that he didn’t live in the best of areas, as if he didn’t know that already. There wasn’t much he could do about that right now.

He left the parole officer somewhat mystified, putting him in a strange mood. When he got his haircut at a place nearby, he couldn’t remember speaking more than ten words. The girl cutting his hair chatted away, seemingly oblivious to his lack of desire to converse, but it didn’t matter. He tuned her out, his mind going back to the concerned look on his probation officer’s face and All Might’s words.

They were worried about him. He didn’t like it. Sure, he knew people weren’t going to trust him, but this felt personally insulting for some reason. Touya had warned him about this.

By the time Shigaraki dragged himself back to his apartment, he was sorely looking forward to sitting down and vegging out completely. He could do that with Yukiko sometimes, although he knew it probably wasn’t a good thing. He couldn’t be on twenty-four/seven though. No one could be, even if they were the world’s greatest parent. He’d done a lot of mind-numbing things too. All he wanted to do right now as not think.

When he reached the door to his place, he paused. Music could be heard from inside. It wasn’t loud enough to bother his neighbors, but he could still hear it as he stood there. It was some pop song he only knew because it played on the store’s radio during work. He wouldn’t have willingly listened to it if it were up to him. Of course Uraraka liked this kind of music. She probably listened to k-pop too. She seemed like the… bouncy pop type.

Fuck. There was that word again. Bouncy. He needed to stop.

Unlocking the door to his apartment, Shigaraki pushed it open and found exactly what he’d been expecting: Uraraka singing and dancing around the place with a smiling Yukiko in her arms while pop music played in the background. She certainly wasn’t the most elegant or talented dancer out there (then again, who was with a baby as a partner?), but she was graceful and light on her feet. It probably had something to do with her quirk. Her singing voice was okay in that it wouldn’t win any competitions but it was pleasant enough to not be grating on the ears.

Mostly though, Shigaraki noted how...happy Yukiko was. No, they were both happy. Uraraka appeared to be having a grand old time. It should’ve been weird (it was weird), but he found it relieving too. What would he have done had Yukiko really liked her but then Uraraka wanted nothing to do with her? Babies needed social connections. Kids needed interaction in order to help them develop. He had told Fuyumi it was a one-time thing - and he swore it was - but watching Uraraka interact with Yukiko did make him hesitate.

Having such a fun time, Uraraka didn’t even notice Shigaraki leaning against the threshold of his door until she spun around and spotted him. She stopped mid-singing, a strangled squeak of surprise escaping her, and froze on the spot as she stared at him like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Her cheeks turned bright red and then she gave him a large, goofy smile. “Oh, um, didn’t see you there.”

“You know,” Shigaraki drawled out, not judging at all, “a villain could’ve walked in here to attack and you would’ve been caught totally unaware.”

Her face still red, Uraraka managed in a mostly even tone, “You have villains walk in here often?”

“Just me and Touya,” Shigaraki shot back.

Uraraka blew a raspberry. “I’ve seen Touya fight and it’s not impressive.”

Shigaraki nodded in concession. Touya had not been a physical fighter as Dabi and he certainly wasn’t one now. Back in their League days, Touya’s quirk had been powerful enough to be overwhelming so he didn’t often have to physically fight. There was a good reason for that. He was atrocious. Honestly, it was kind of embarrassing.

“And?” Shigaraki continued. “There’s still me.”

“I basically saw you naked this morning and I’ve got more muscle definition than you,” Uraraka blurted. He narrowed his eyes at her. She shrugged her shoulders and gave him a sheepish grin, but he could tell she wasn’t sorry at all. Maybe about bringing up the whole towel thing again, but not by her statement that she could take him on. “I mean, yeah, you used to fight and stuff, but… you work retail now. That’s more of a mental fighting game. And I trained with Katsuki for years. Sorry, but I can take you.”

“You sure about that?”

“Pretty sure,” Uraraka replied confidently. She wore a straight face for all of five seconds before she burst into giggles and turned away from him, ducking and hiding in on herself. “I’m sorry. I just-” She cleared her throat and shook her head as she straightened up, gathering herself together. However, when she turned back around to face him, she still had to bite her lip to keep from grinning too much. “It’s a lot harder to see you as… threatening, now.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes and strode further into the apartment so he could take Yukiko from her. The baby hesitated for a second before deciding she was okay with him taking her. Spoiled brat. Uraraka was probably much comfier than him, but she could’ve at least acted like she missed him. “You two were okay?”

“Yeah, she was great!” Uraraka declared excitedly. The last person he’d been around with this much energy was Toga, but he had a feeling she wouldn’t like that comparison too much. “I do think she’s starting to feel a little cooped up - it’s hard to tell with a baby - so I was thinking next time I could take her to the park.”

Her words caught him off guard. “Next time?”

Uraraka blinked, confused for a moment before she seemed to realize what she’d said as well. “Well, um, I mean-” She floundered for a few seconds as she tried to recover. He gave her the time. She had clearly been talking without even thinking of the implications. “I thought I could watch her every now and then. Only if you want? You’re going to need to find childcare soon so you can go back to work, but until then, if you need someone...”

“You’ll be my babysitter?” Shigaraki finished blandly. “Don’t people pay for those services?”

“It’s not-” Uraraka’s cheeks puffed in indignation. “It’s not a service. I’m being helpful.”

“Mmhm.” Walking around her, Shigaraki plopped on the couch, letting Yukiko rest on his chest. He held her so she was sitting up, his hands on her back keeping her upright, so she could smack his chest and pull on his shirt. At this rate, he was going to have to buy a new couch because of how much he sat and slept on here. He was not looking forward to that (the account set up by All Might called hazily in the back of his mind) - not at all. “And what do you get out of this arrangement?”

Somehow, Uraraka seemed genuinely thrown by the question. “What?”

“I’m saying: what do you get out of watching Yukiko for me if I’m not paying you?” Shigaraki demanded calmly, his eyes focused on Yukiko as she played. He didn’t look at Uraraka. He didn’t need to see her in order to know her reaction: indignation, incredulity, insult. All of it could be seen on her face now most likely, maybe even some embarrassment too. No one liked to admit selfishness or ulterior motives. “In my experience, people don’t just do things out of the kindness in their hearts. There’s always a reason. Information perhaps?”

“Maybe it’s because I like spending time with her?” Uraraka countered.

Shigaraki snorted. “You’re still young. I highly doubt hanging out with a baby is high on your priority list. Unless you’re having baby fever.” Wasn’t that what Touya was afraid Fuyumi might get if she spent too much time with Yukiko? He didn’t want to be an ass and think that all women were that way, but it sort of made sense. Uraraka did seem like the type that wanted to have a family. She’d be a great mother - she deserved it if she wanted one - but he knew that many pro heroes never moved on to have families. It was their curse, so to speak.

Irritated with him, Uraraka stomped around the couch so that she was in his field of vision and folded her arms across her chest, glaring at him deeply. He could already tell he’d made a mistake, but there was no going back on it now, not when it would feel like a lie. He meant what he said and he asked what he had for a reason. While he had grown up under ulterior motives, he would not have Yukiko suffer the same fate.

“I’m not using her to spy on you,” Uraraka told him. The hard look on her face softened and he watched in surprise as it molded into one of embarrassment. She glanced down at her shoes, shuffling her feet uncomfortably. “It’s just that - well, okay, you do need help and it does make me feel good to help, which is selfish, I know, but… I don’t really do much with my free time. Either my friends are busy with their job or relationships or they don’t live close.” She bit her lip, a habit he’d seen her do multiple times. “But today I had a lot of fun with Yukiko - I really did. It got stressful sometimes, sure, but...I wasn’t alone.” She slapped a hand against her face. “Shit, I bet that sounds so lame!”

As much as Shigaraki wanted to just stare at her, he forced the words out and said, “No, I understand.” He looked back to Yukiko the second Uraraka looked at him. “I mean, outside of...Touya and Fuyumi, I didn’t really have anyone. It’s not like I hang out with my coworkers or anything except when I feel forced. It’s just been me here and I was fine with that, but then Yukiko showed up and…”

“And she just fit in it,” Uraraka finished for him.

Shigaraki was not a blusher and it took everything in him to suppress that urge now. “She drives me crazy and my life would be so much easier without her.”

“That’s some positive thinking,” Uraraka quipped.

“Yeah, it makes sense for me, but” - Shigaraki took one hand from Yukiko’s back and waved it at Uraraka - “you’re you - friendly as hell, sweet, kind, bubbly, cute, pro hero.” At least he hadn’t said bouncy. What the fuck was he on anyway? “What are you doing being alone and asking to babysit a former villain’s kid?”

“I just said I feel alone,” Uraraka said edgily. “What more do you want?”

Now she was being defensive, which made Shigaraki curious. All this time, he’d felt like he was on the defensive, but with her acting this way, it made him realize he had the upper hand. Holding onto Yukiko carefully, he sat upright, never once taking his eyes away from Uraraka’s. She met him head on, refusing to give up now that it was a battle of wills. This was much more interesting than dealing with shitty ass paperwork and bureaucrats.

“I want to know why you want to spend time with my daughter,” Shigaraki challenged.

Uraraka chewed on her lip to a worrying point - she was going to draw blood - until finally, she burst, “I like spending time with her, okay, and I had a lot of fun, but you’re right. I want kids. I did. I do. And the person I thought I would have a family with didn’t want one - and now there’s talk of him doing that with someone else and I just- I don’t know. Being around Yukiko makes me happy.” She covered her face her with hands, no doubt because it was bright red, but also because she sounded legitimately embarrassed and ashamed. When she spoke again, her voice was muffled by her hands. “That makes me sound so petty and dumb, doesn’t it?”

Shigaraki gawked at her. To be honest, he had still been thinking it was along the lines of her trying to spy on him or find out if he was a bad father and she needed to save Yukiko. He’d not expected...this. It was kind of petty and dumb, in his opinion, but then it was obvious how much it bothered her. If he sat back and looked at it from her perspective, then yeah, he could see why she was upset and embarrassed. He could see why she wanted to spend more time with Yukiko. It wasn’t baby fever; it was something else.

“So you’re using my kid as consolation,” Shigaraki surmised.

“No!” When Uraraka dropped her hands, her face was as red as he’d suspected. “Look, you didn’t think you were ever going to be a father and yet here you are. And I thought…” She dropped her shoulders. “I thought a lot of things, I guess, but I wasn’t… It wasn’t meant to be, you know? Yukiko is a sweet baby. You could stand to have some help here and there and it gives me hope.”

Rolling his eyes, Shigaraki declared, “You’re too fucking nice.”

“Are you really going to insult me right now after I admitted something super personal and embarrassing?” Uraraka demanded incredulously.

“I’m not the nice one here,” Shigaraki pointed out.

“I can tell.” Uraraka shook her head and moved to gather her things. She hadn’t brought much, just some sort of bag purse, so all she had to do was put all her things in it. As she slung it over her head and shoulder, he heard her mutter, “You’re almost as bad as Katsuki.”

Shigaraki scoffed. “I’m almost positive Ground Zero is worse.”

The kid had been a nightmare to deal with back then and he had grown into an even worse one as an adult. Oh, sure, he was a great hero and it wasn’t like he pulled an Endeavor where he was secretly an even worse piece of shit than people realized - he was very upfront with who he was - but there were a few people Shigaraki would not want to deal with in his daily life and he was one of them. Plus, he was one hundred percent positive that, unlike Uraraka, he would not be willing to help him out with Yukiko. More like blast him in the face and probably take Yukiko away from him. Now there was a person who shouldn’t be around kids.

Uraraka gave him a tight-lipped smile. “You might be right.”

Looking back to Yukiko, who was resting contently against his chest, Shigaraki said, “I guess...if you wanted to, you could stop by once a week or whatever. It’d give me time to take care of things. I’d rather not take her to my therapy sessions.” He turned to Uraraka. “But I don’t want you just coming over here, getting your feel good jollies, and then, once you’re happy enough, abandoning her like she’s nothing. I don’t give a shit about you not helping me, but that wouldn’t be fair to her.”

Yukiko had already had one person abandon her. Shigaraki was determined to never put her in the position for that to happen again. She wasn’t just going to be a prop for someone to pick up when they felt like it.

There was a strange look on Uraraka’s face. It was a mixture of sadness and understanding, but there was also a tiny smile on her face. He wasn’t sure if he liked it, but he kept his mouth shut as she agreed, “You’re right. It wouldn’t be fair. She’s not a thing I can use to make myself feel better.” Tentatively, she walked to stand behind the back of the couch and, when he didn’t tell her off, she stroked Yukiko’s head. “She does help me feel that way, but I genuinely want to lend a hand and be there for her too. It can be both. Not that you’re doing a bad job - you really aren’t, just look at her - but every parent could do with a break.”

She wasn’t wrong. It had only been a week, but he’d already crashed once on Touya’s couch and asked for her help twice. It was kind of humiliating. While he had known he wasn’t going to be the perfect father, he had thought it would take him longer to crack. He’d gone for longer periods without sleeping before. Why was this so different? Was it because it was more emotionally taxing? More terrifying? More up in the air? Nothing went the way he expected.

“Have you looked into childcare?” Uraraka asked.

“Not yet,” Shigaraki admitted. It had been painful enough allowing Uraraka and even the Todorokis on some level to watch her. The idea of a stranger doing it put him on edge. Who knew what they were capable of? What they were like with the kids when the parents were gone? How could they possibly know the right way to bounce her to make her smile or to rub her head a certain way to get her to fall asleep?

Plus, what if they figured who he was and began to treat her differently? What if they didn’t take as good of care of her in retribution for what he’d done in the past? For who he’d been? What if they saw her crying like a normal baby or throwing a tantrum and thought she wasn’t good like other kids because of who her parents were?

Uraraka glanced at her phone, probably to check the time, and then adjusted the bag on her shoulder. “Well, just text me, okay? We’ll figure something out.” She beamed at Yukiko. “I had fun with you today, but I’ve gotta go to work.”

“A hero’s job is never over, huh?” Shigaraki said blandly.

“You’re so weird,” Uraraka replied in a tone that was both amused and bemused. It was a weird reaction that he wasn’t sure how to take. Every time he said or did something he thought would turn her away or piss her off, she shot back with something he hadn’t anticipated. It wasn’t like she was actively trying to get to know him or, like Fuyumi, break down the walls his therapist said he built up around himself. She naturally rebuffed everything without a thought. It was kind of frustrating, but it left him at a loss too. “See you around. Don’t get into any trouble!”

“I won’t,” Shigaraki said.

“I was talking to Yukiko.” Uraraka stuck her tongue out at him, which made him furrow his brow. She was definitely teasing him, but it wasn’t the same way as Touya, who could be as mean-spirited as him when it came to casually mocking. “Oh, by the way, I forgot to say something earlier.” Her face brightened. “Your hair looks nice. I think it suits you.”

His hand betrayed him, immediately lifting to touch his hair. “Yeah?” It looked nice? Wait, no, who cared what she thought? He’d got it cut to be practical. Before he could say or do anything though, Uraraka waved and then all but flounced out of the apartment like some sort of whirlwind of positive energy. Shigaraki couldn’t tell if it was more draining or confusing, but the day’s events had left him tired anyway.

As soon as he heard her walking down the hall, he jerked his hand away from his hair and scowled. He didn’t know why it felt like it mattered, but he did not like that at all. Caring about his appearance was not something he was familiar with. Maybe it was an important part of his recovery, but it was still uncomfortable. Yukiko reached to try to grab his hair and hold onto it, but it wasn’t long enough for her. At least one goal had been achieved today.

*

Four days later, while Yukiko slept on the couch next to him, Shigaraki’s gameplay was interrupted by his phone buzzing, alerting him to a text from Uraraka: Hey! How’s my favorite little princess?

Very funny.

There’s more where that came from. :D

She’s sick but to be expected. Had to take her to the doctor’s. She got a shit ton of shots.

D: That sucks! Poor baby girl. Is she still eating and sleeping?

Yeah, she’s sleeping a lot too, but she’s fussy as fuck when she’s awake. I think she’s at the tail end.

How are you managing it?

Well Fuyumi had to talk me out of taking her to the ER at 3 am so I guess I’m managing it brilliantly.

Awwww you were worried about her! Only natural.

Probably would’ve looked like a dumbass.

You aren’t one?

Again. Funny. You’re testing your luck, Uravity.

Ouch. Those formalities hurt me. I’ve changed your baby’s diaper.

Not to mention she’d seen him nearly naked, but neither one of them were going to bring that up again until they were on their deathbeds. The last person to see him that unclothed had been the mother of his child. Needless to say, it had been a long time and he’d planned on it being much longer than this.

So I asked around my agency about any daycares nearby and I think I found a good one.

Shigaraki immediately tensed up at that. Uraraka had been talking to people about him and his situation? She’d said that she wouldn’t tell anyone. Oh yeah? he sent back carefully.

They thought I was asking for me! lol But I told them my cousin is pregnant. She’s gonna curse me if that happens. But anyway it’s close to your job and affordable. Plus it got good reviews.

Oh. She hadn’t told anyone. She’d kept it a secret, just like she’d said she would. Shigaraki sank back in the couch, his body relaxing. Touya might’ve said he was paranoid, but then he didn’t trust anyone either and still lied to his poor family about certain things and how he felt. It was a coping mechanism and way to protect himself - or so Shigaraki’s therapist said when he did the same damn thing. It was easier to not trust anyone and believe everyone would either betray or leave him in the end. That way he was never disappointed.

Uraraka would do it eventually. Touya would too. They both had accepted that of each other long ago. With Yukiko involved now, however, the stakes were much higher than before. He didn’t want her to experience that because of some failure on his behalf or someone else’s. He didn’t want her to think that way either. It would be nice if she didn’t grow up to automatically assume someone was trying to use her or would hurt her in some way.

Interested?

No, not really, but he needed to figure out something soon. Eventually, he would have to go back to work and, short of asking a certain retired hero to watch her when Uraraka and Fuyumi were working, he didn’t have anyone else. He grumbled under his breath in defeat and texted back: Sure.

After Uraraka sent him the details, he looked up the daycare online. Not that he didn’t trust her or anything (he didn’t), but he wanted to get a feel for the place on his own. It wasn’t like he could skulk outside of it without looking like a creep, even if he did have Yukiko with him. He was positive loser creeps could be parents too. Someone had to father them to keep the trend up. Just as she said, the place had good reviews and the employees didn’t look sketchy. It was a little further past his work but nearby, which was very convenient.

Still, it made him uneasy thinking about handing her off to complete strangers.

So people at your agency use this place for their kids? Shigaraki asked.

A few do. They like it. There’s even a little playground.

Was it part of your suggestion so Yukiko would grow up around heroes’ kids?

Yes it’s my grand scheme to surround Yukiko with the children of heroes so she’ll be influenced to be good instead of evil like you were. Paranoid ass.

Shigaraki scoffed. Uraraka had such a smartass mouth even when she was texting. Then again, he might’ve been asking for it that time. He had spent nearly his entire life being manipulated and didn’t find out until he was basically an adult with no memories of childhood. Of course he would expect it from other people. Sure, it had turned out that the heroes were (ugh) the good guys in the story after all, but that didn’t make him trust them. Uraraka seemed perfectly nice, good, and innocent, but she could secretly be plotting to manipulate him or Yukiko.

Shit. He rubbed his temple. He really did sound paranoid now.

Did you still want me to come over this week or next to watch her?

I’ve got a therapy appointment at like 3 on Friday. Can you watch her then?

Yeah! I don’t work until 8.

Night shift must be a blast.

It’s been kinda quiet lately.

Oh no crime is down. How awful.

I didn’t say it was a bad thing! Ass.
Anyway you should go grocery shopping too. You’re gonna need more formula soon. And something besides cup of noodles for you.

She had a point, but Shigaraki didn’t want to give it to her. He really did need food for himself and he was getting sick of take-out, but the idea of cooking with a baby around sounded impossible when he could barely take a piss without her getting pissed. This was the first break he’d had in two days and he’d taken advantage of it. Uraraka had been right when she’d said he needed time to himself. With Yukiko sleeping on the couch next to him, he’d turned the volume down and went back to his old games with a vengeance. It almost felt like his brain was coming back to life.

You really are something.

I’m magical. Now kiss Yukiko on the forehead for me.

You won’t know if I don’t.

Yes I will. I’ll ask her. Gods, Uraraka was an intense and weird one. Shigaraki didn’t even know what to say to that. It was a joke, but even through text, she sounded dead serious. It...kind of was like Touya’s texting. He wasn’t sure how to take that mental comparison. See you Friday!

Shaking his head, Shigaraki set his phone aside and picked up the controller again, restarting the game - and then a second later, Yukiko began to squirm on the pillow. “No, no, no, go back to sleep,” he hissed as he tried to gently keep her mitten-covered hands from rubbing her eyes. Once she let out a weak cry, it was no use. He dropped the controller and rolled his neck until it popped. There went his free time. She probably wanted to eat.

*

As soon as the conversation was over, Uraraka tucked her phone into her back pocket. She’d been sitting on the information about the daycare for two days but wanted to give Shigaraki some space before she brought it up. Still unsure how much he was willing to actually converse with her, she figured keeping contact to a minimum was the best approach.

So… treat him like a skittish stray. Wow, that made her sound great and not judgemental at all.

“Wow, you were really into that conversation,” Deku pointed out.

Uraraka nearly jumped out of her seat. “What?”

She hadn’t even noticed Deku had come back from the bathroom. It had been a while since they’d gone out for lunch. What with him working out of the country half the time, she rarely got the chance to see him. He’d sent her a text a few hours after he’d come back, spending the first part of it with his mother and All Might. Being the number one hero was a busy job. He rarely got time off and, when he did, he had to take advantage of it.

Deku sat down across from her. “I couldn’t help but notice. You’re all curled up in the chair like you get when you’re really into something and you were actually smirking.”

“I was not smirking,” Uraraka retorted, blush tinging her cheeks. She had curled one leg under her on the chair and propped her other foot on it. She tried to unfold her legs and sit normally without bringing any attention to the action, but it was impossible. It only made Deku give her a knowing look. Damn him for knowing her so well. “It was nothing.”

“I won’t pry if you don’t want to talk about it,” Deku told her, lifting his hands up in surrender. Uraraka tried not to act relieved or anything. She didn’t want him to get the idea that it was something she didn’t want to or couldn’t talk about. He was curious by nature, but he was polite too. He smiled at her. “I’m just glad to see you looking like that. Not that you didn’t look happy or anything - I know you’re doing okay and it’s been a while - but I haven’t seen you, well… I don’t know. I haven’t seen you look so bright in a while.”

Uraraka’s cheeks burned even worse. What the hell was that supposed to mean? How was she supposed to explain herself? Wait, she wasn’t. He told her that she didn’t have to talk about it so she wouldn’t. It wasn’t like she could tell him the reason she looked so happy was that she was hanging out with a baby. That made her sound sad and even pathetic considering the circumstances surrounding why she hadn’t looked happy to begin with. Tack on the fact that it was Shigaraki’s baby and she was just asking him to question her sanity.

“Thanks,” Uraraka settled on saying. “I guess.” She ran a finger around the rim of her water glass. “It’s stupid, isn’t it? I’m over it and I have been for some time - I swear I am - but then something comes up out of the blue and I just…”

“It’s only natural,” Deku reassured her. “He was - is - a big part of your life.”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Not as big as yours.”

Deku shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t date him.” He brightened up and sat forward, an excited look on his face. “I know what will cheer you up.” She gave him a curious look. “I found out the craziest thing the other day!”

“Oh?” Uraraka picked up her water and sipped on it. Yes, this was exactly what she needed. Deku was so good at knowing that. It was part of why she’d had such a huge crush on him during school. He was considerate, empathetic, and intuitive. It sure would’ve been easier if she’d continued to nurse a massive crush on him instead of falling for someone else. She really needed to fix her taste in men.

“Shigaraki has a daughter!” Deku exclaimed.

Uraraka almost fucking choked . “What?”

“I know, right?” Deku continued, completely oblivious as she went through a series of flashbacks involving all the times she had spent with Shigaraki and his daughter. “The guy that led the group that attacked us throughout our time at U.A. - that planned Kacchan’s kidnapping - is a dad.” He took a deep breath and shook his head while Uraraka cleared her throat and calmed down. “It’s crazy. So much can happen and change throughout the years. We’re in so many different places in our lives than we were when we graduated.”

“Yeah, it’s… wild,” Uraraka managed weakly. “How did you find out about that?”

“I heard my mom and All Might talking about it,” Deku explained. “Apparently the mother is, well… a villain. He didn’t know, which is the crazy part. He actually called her in!”

“Really,” Uraraka murmured.

Deku sat back in his seat, a little more thoughtful now. “I was actually kind of concerned, you know? Not that I thought he would hurt her or anything, but, well, it’s Shigaraki.” Yeah, she knew that feeling quite well. “I called Shouto to tell him about it-”

“Wait,” Uraraka interrupted. “You called him and not me?”

The poor guy’s face turned pink. “Well, I, um-”

Uraraka waved a hand at him, putting him out of his misery. “Never mind. Continue.”

“It turns out Shigaraki had dinner with Shouto’s family on Friday, which is apparently a regular thing with just Touya and Fuyumi,” Deku said. Seeing as how she had been there when Touya had invited him to the dinner, she knew that too. She could’ve said something, seeing as how Deku knew about the baby already, but she still felt like it was betraying Shigaraki’s trust. Deku might know about Yukiko, but he didn’t know about Shigaraki asking a pro hero for help. It was different. “Since Shouto was there, he kept me updated about what happened.”

At this, Uraraka leaned forward and said, “That sounds very interesting.”

While she knew Shigaraki had gone to the dinner and that he’d even stayed the night after falling asleep on the couch, she didn’t know what exactly had gone on. Needless to say, she was a bit curious. If Shouto was there and texted Deku throughout the night, it would provide ample information for her to store or use against Shigaraki in the future in case he was extra stubborn. He seemed like the kind of person you had to stockpile any info on in order to figure out how he worked. That was what the police had done with him when he was a villain.

Surely it could still work now that he was a civilian.

“Yeah, he even got some pictures,” Deku continued as he fished out his phone, completely oblivious to Uraraka’s strange behavior. That was good. She didn’t need him to ask questions about why she wasn’t acting as surprised as she should’ve been. He normally noticed things like that, but the situation was distracting him. “You know, he’s actually pretty stealthy. He should do more covert work, although he’d have to change his appearance first…”

Oh, pictures? This was going to be good.

“So, according to Shouto, Shigaraki didn’t talk a lot during dinner, probably because he was so tired. Shouto’s mom held the baby while they ate, but he said Shigaraki ate fast and then took her back. Look.” Deku clicked on something and then slid his phone across the table for her to see. The picture was taken at an awkward angle, like Shouto had taken it while pretending to text. “They asked him how he’s been doing. Apparently, his work gave him some time off to get settled and figure things out with her, which was nice of them. He’ll have to find daycare soon, of course.”

While Deku talked, Uraraka struggled not to smile as she gazed at the picture. Shigaraki was holding onto Yukiko, looking down at her while she was looking up at him, Touya and Fuyumi sitting on either side of him, bickering. It looked like they were in their own little world. He did look tired, as Deku said, but not any more than he had two days before. His expression was soft though, if not a little strained, and she could imagine him calling her “a little shit” in an almost fond tone.

“Natsuo doesn’t like him at all, but it’s kind of hard to insult someone with a baby in their arms,” Deku added with a laugh. “He apparently asked Shigaraki how he got Touya to join the League - only to find out that Touya was the one to seek them out and Shigaraki actually told him to leave and didn’t want him in it. He even insulted Shigaraki and they got into it.”

Uraraka snorted. “That sounds like them.”

They had acted in a very similar way when Touya had shown up unannounced to steal one of his gaming controllers. The two of them poked and prodded each other in between sometimes getting along. It kind of reminded her of Bakugou and Todoroki - violence included. She better never say that out loud. Neither one of them would like that comparison at all.

Deku tilted his head. “Yeah?”

“Oh, well, I mean, he was Shigaraki’s assumed number two, but they never seemed to mesh perfectly, you know?” She wasn’t supposed to be in the know about them as much as she was. Deku might’ve kept tabs on the former members of the League to be careful and out of curiosity and concern, but he wasn’t around as much. Shouto had the most contact with them through his brother. She’d accidentally crossed paths with Touya a handful of times while hanging out with Shouto.

She was pretty sure Touya had been very drunk during one of those times. She had been awkwardly standing near the door while he stared at her and swayed from his spot on the couch before finally saying, “You’re definitely one of Shouto’s more attractive friends, so I’m glad I didn’t kill you, Nice Floaty Girl.” According to Shouto, Touya was both a lightweight because of his quirk and a bartender, so it was a bad combo when he was in a sour mood.

It could’ve been worse, she supposed. He fell asleep a few minutes later right before she and Shouto left and nothing else had ever quite topped that moment for weirdness - until she came across Shigaraki holding a baby.

“Shouto said Shigaraki was surprisingly attentive - clumsy and awkward, but he seems to actually be trying to be a good father or at least as good as he can be. He’s doing what he can.” Deku reached over the table to swipe his screen and show her the next picture, one of Fuyumi and Rei gushing over Yukiko while Shigaraki watched in the background. Again, there was that anxious look about him, like he was just waiting to take her back. Even with people he was more comfortable with, he was struggling to relinquish control.

“That’s good… Unexpected, for sure, but it’s good.” Uraraka glanced up at him. “Right?”

“You’re not worried?” Deku asked, sounding torn between curious and suspicious.

“Of course I’m worried!” Uraraka jumped in. “But if he’s doing okay...” She flipped to the next picture, a blurry one of Shigaraki putting a clean diaper on Yukiko while Natsuo chased Touya with the dirty diaper. The latter looked both pissed and terrified while the former laughed. “It’s super weird, it even looks like he adores-” She caught herself at the last second, almost saying the baby’s name. “What’s her name?”

“Yukiko,” Deku said. “It’s kinda cute, isn’t it? Shigaraki apparently picked it out himself.”

Uraraka remembered the hard-fought and amusing…discussion that she’d had with him over the name. She once again had to keep herself from smiling when she said, “Now that’s surprising. It is cute.”

However, she couldn’t stop a burst of laughter from slipping out of her when she swiped to the next picture and saw it was one of Shigaraki wearing an exasperated look while changing her diaper again. Oh, that wasn’t going to be the first time something like that happened and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Babies had their own timing.

“He’s taking it better than expected,” Deku sighed, “but Shouto says he’s pretty much doing this on his own. I mean, Fuyumi is able to help some, but Touya is keeping his distance. All Might says he rejected his help too, which is sad but understandable. They’ve got a… complicated relationship.”

“Hm, yeah, just a bit,” Uraraka agreed. That was the understatement of the year. Deku had a thoughtful look on his face, one that made her very suspicious. “What are you thinking, Deku?”

“What?” Deku blinked innocently.

Oh no. She knew that face. “You’re thinking about getting involved, aren’t you?”

“Well, if he won’t accept All Might’s help, maybe he’ll accept mine. He needs something…” Deku gave her a helpless shrug, which she would’ve considered ironic if she hadn’t already been secretly helping Shigaraki. This was a mess. She should say something - but she knew Shigaraki didn’t want people, especially Midoriya, to know about her involvement. And it wasn’t like no one knowing of her help was hurting anyone. It was her business.

“He might not want your help either,” Uraraka pointed out carefully.

“I know, but he needs it whether he wants it or not,” Deku said earnestly. He genuinely wanted to help. It was sweet. “I was a good kid, but I was also very energetic and got into a lot of stuff with Kacchan. It was hard on my mom. Sure, she wasn’t technically a single mother since she and my dad didn’t legally separate until I was out of high school, but she raised me on her. It was very rough. She did things on her own too and it took a lot out of her - and I was planned. I can’t imagine how difficult this is for him.”

Pretty damn difficult - but he was managing. She would be able to see how he was doing on Friday so he could go see his therapist. Now that was going to be a fun session.

“You don’t have to be everyone’s hero, you know,” Uraraka told him, a gentle smile on her face.

Deku smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck. Still the same old Deku she’d once had a crush on. “I can try. That’s a part of being the Symbol of Peace is about, right?”

“He might not agree with that,” Uraraka laughed.

“He probably won’t,” Deku said. “It won’t hurt to offer. I know there were some nights I made my mom desperate for help and she didn’t have any.”

“Aw, your mom is a saint too,” Uraraka teased. “What an obnoxious child.”

Deku hid his face in his hands. “I was. She spent so much money on All Might merch. I was ridiculous.”

Uraraka sat back and shook her head. Oh, she knew. She could still remember Deku’s absurd dorm back at Heights Alliance. It had been head to toe with All Might merch until he accidentally destroyed half of it in their first year after some sort of nightmare made him activate his quirk. She wondered what Yukiko would be into when she was older. Probably not heroes, considering her father, but it was a possibility if she was around other kids a lot. That would be ironic. Only time would tell.

“Could you send me that last picture, by the way?” Uraraka asked. Deku gave her a weird look. “I wanna show Mina. She’ll get a kick out of it.”

Yeah, that was reasonable. It was a believable answer.

*

Uraraka arrived at his place an hour and a half before his therapy appointment. It gave him plenty of time to shower and put some effort into his skincare. He always did a little more before going to therapy. It gave his therapist the impression that he was doing better and placing his self-care higher on his priority list. Was it true? Not really, but it got the man off his back. He was so caring and relentless at the same time. At least he wasn’t as bad as Touya’s therapist. He would feel sorry for the woman having to deal with him if she wasn’t, from what he had heard, freakishly intense.

When he walked out of the bathroom (with clothes on), Uraraka was changing Yukiko’s diaper. Shigaraki couldn’t help but feel grateful at having missed that mess. It was like Yukiko took every opportunity she had to literally shit on him, especially right after he changed her diaper, so it was nice when it happened to other people. At least it wasn’t just him. Sometimes he wondered if maybe she hated him and that was why she did it so much.

After digging around his desk for his keys (how the hell did he manage to lose them every day?), Shigaraki felt eyes on him and turned around to find Uraraka looking at him oddly. “What?”

“You just…” Uraraka tilted her head. “You look different when you actually put effort into your appearance.”

Shigaraki snorted. “So I looked ugly before?”

“Well, you certainly weren’t handsome,” Uraraka replied, rolling her eyes. “You look much better now.”

She wasn’t wrong. After he’d started to take care of himself, back when he didn’t see a point in it at all, his therapist had shown him a picture of him during his trial. The difference had been startling. He hadn’t done much - just used some quirk-enhanced lotion - but it had definitely forced him to realize that he hadn’t been taking care of himself at all. With room for only his obsession to rid the world of his enemies, he’d stopped caring about so much that even basic human needs had gone to the wayside. No wonder people had turned away from him. He’d looked like crusty shit on his best days.

It still took effort now. It took effort to make the effort to work on his appearance daily. With Yukiko around and his main concern, he’d started to slip again. It had been much easier to fall out of the routine than to stay in it. He could not give that impression to his therapist. He wasn’t sure if the man was capable of taking Yukiko away from him if he thought it was for his own good, but he didn’t want to give him the thought.

He probably shouldn’t be trying to cheat the system, but he felt like he had to be more careful than ever right now with so much riding on his shoulders. Shigaraki had to look like he was close to the top of his game. He couldn’t come across as doing perfectly since he never had before and it would only make the man suspicious, but he had to look good and like he was managing. He could handle his shit and he could take care of Yukiko.

“Do you mind if I take Yukiko to the park?” Uraraka asked. It was nice of her to ask, he reminded himself, and it was nice of her to come over and do this. Maybe he’d tell his therapist about her. He’d be very proud that Shigaraki had not only let someone help him but had asked first. That was a step in the right direction, right?

Shigaraki waved a hand. “Yeah, sure, just-”

“Be careful with her, I know,” Uraraka finished. She sat up straight, like something popped into her head right as she lifted Yukiko off the floor. “Oh - well, never mind, I’ll tell you later.”

“You might as well tell me now since you brought it up,” Shigaraki sighed.

“Um, you probably figured it would happen,” Uraraka said nervously as she bounced Yukiko in her lap, “but Deku found out. He told me the other day.”

Shigaraki threw his head back and let out a deep groan. “Just what I fucking needed.” He dropped his shoulders and sighed. He could handle this. It wasn’t the end of the world. Knowledge of him being a dad was bound to get out sooner or later. He’d just kind of hoped the new number one hero wouldn’t be around to find out for a little while longer.

Uraraka gave him a nervous smile. “He wants to help.”

“I don’t want his help,” Shigaraki stressed in his most petulant tone.

“I pointed out that you probably wouldn’t, but you know Deku,” Uraraka said. “He likes to help people and you made a huge impact on how he views heroes.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Shigaraki shot back, “but I’m not interested.” She shrugged her shoulders. He would deal with Midoriya when he came about, which would probably be in a day or two knowing him. He wouldn’t be able to sit on this information for long before sticking his nose into things. Heroes were also nosy as hell.  “How did he find out?”

“All Might.”

“Of course.” Apparently, the universe thought it would be funny if two separate number one heroes were involved in his shit. Letting Uraraka and Fuyumi help him was a struggle as it was. He did not need two other people he once tried to kill trying to help him too.

“He would’ve found out about it anyway from Shouto,” Uraraka added. “He told him all about the dinner.”

Shigaraki tensed up at that. He should’ve expected it since Todoroki and Midoriya had been practically tied to the hip since high school, but he’d been too distracted and tired to notice. That little shit had probably been liveblogging the dinner all night. “Let me guess: Midoriya told you about it too.”

“And he showed me pictures,” Uraraka said, waving her phone about.

“What? He took fucking pictures ?” Shigaraki jumped forward to snatch her phone to see for himself, but she pulled him away from him and gave him a look that said she might knock him silly if he tried to take it from her. He refrained himself, but it was hard when potentially humiliating photographic evidence was right there in front of him. It wasn’t like he could tackle her or fight her for it when she was holding his child. He’d have to try to get it later somehow.

“They were cute,” Uraraka said with a laugh. “I especially liked the one of you two sleeping on the couch.”

Shigaraki’s face burned. Now she was just trying to push his buttons. “You can put it as your lock screen then.”

She laughed some more and even Yukiko made that sighing laughter sound that she’d started to do a few days ago. They were both mocking him. Maybe she was spending too much time around the pro hero. (But it was good to hear her laugh and see her smile. She hadn’t done it at all the first week.)

After containing herself, Uraraka pulled herself to her feet, bouncing Yukiko in her arms as she threw the diaper away. There was still a smile on her face, but at least she wasn’t giggling anymore. “Go on. You don’t want to be late and give your therapist the wrong idea.”

His stomach twisted at the thought and Shigaraki turned away from her. Being this open with someone that wasn’t Touya and went through the same thing was more embarrassing than he’d anticipated. That was a benefit to being a villain: he didn’t get embarrassed over such petty, dumb stuff. “You must think I’m pretty weak these days. It’s been years and I’m still stuck seeing someone over this shit.”

It was court-mandated and was a very strong reason he’d been up for an early release. If he wanted to get out of prison, he had to keep up with his therapy. The same had been said for Touya. He didn’t like it, but he’d been ready to get out - and maybe, just maybe, it helped him a little. It still made him feel pathetic.

“Not at all,” Uraraka said gently. He paused, his hand on the doorknob, but didn’t look back. “I’d be more concerned if you weren’t going and taking your recovery seriously. You’ve been through a lot - you’ve done a lot - and it might suck, but it’s necessary if you want to be a part of society.” There was something off and almost sad about her voice when she added, “Even heroes go to therapy, not just reformed villains.” He didn’t look back at her. If she looked the way she sounded, he didn’t want to deal with it. “Now get a move on - and go grocery shopping after.”

“You’re so bossy,” Shigaraki grumbled as he opened the door.

“So I’ve been told,” Uraraka quipped. “See ya!”

He lifted a hand in dismissal, but didn’t say goodbye. He caught one last quick glance at Yukiko as he shut the door, his stomach twisting again at leaving her, but then he closed it and walked away. For some reason, he felt the urge to be quick about it, like his body was afraid he’d change his mind and stay home. That was ridiculous. He wanted to get out of his apartment and he wanted to get this appointment over with. Why would he want to stay?

Chapter 11: Some things you gotta see for yourself

Notes:

Now I know that some people might consider a few characters' actions to be extreme - and they are - but also consider the fact that Uraraka is lying her ass off. And she's a bad liar and everyone knows that. Lmao For the record, I think Uraraka and Deku's friendship is one of my all-time favorite things to write. Also, Shigaraki, you dumbass.

Chapter Text

“This is a lifelong responsibility. Being a parent is something you can never stop being. Are you sure you're ready for a huge step like this? I hate to be the bearer of bad news because I want you to succeed and I want you to step up more in your life. This could set you back. It could easily cause you to spiral. You need to consider this more. Think long-term.”


Shigaraki shoved his hands into his jacket pockets as he stalked down the sidewalk and brushed past everyone. In his irritation after his court-mandated therapy appointment, he had jerked his gloves off and stuffed them into the back pocket of his jeans. He usually left therapy feeling weird, unsure if he was supposed to be relieved or frustrated. He ended up in an odd middle ground where he felt like he was both progressing and irritated that he felt like that at all. It wasn't that he didn't want to get better; he just didn't like that it was on someone else's scale.

He had considered all those things. He had thought long-term. He knew that he couldn't keep doing what he was doing now if he wanted to do this right. Logically speaking, there was no way he could raise her alone on a minimum wage job. He needed to find a better place. Eventually, she would need her own room. Not to mention the area he lived in was kind of shit. Even Uraraka knew that. He wanted Yukiko to be able to play outside and feel safe. He wanted her to go to a good school, something he had never experienced.

He knew there was a lot of things he hadn’t considered. Chances were there would be more than one late night when he would regret this decision. He might even think that he didn’t want her anymore and wish she didn’t exist to put a wrench in his life. It was bound to happen. He had eventually thought the same of All for One when the man had once been the most important person in the world to him.

Yukiko wasn’t a power-crazed egomaniac. She was a baby. He couldn’t get that mad at her for crying late into the night because she only wanted to sleep when he held her. She actually needed him.

And she really was supposed to be the most important person in his life.

After swinging by the store to buy some more stupidly expensive baby formula and a stack of frozen meals for himself (at least it wasn't cup of noodles) and dropping them off at his apartment, Shigaraki headed in the direction of the park Uraraka had mentioned. She had waited until his appointment was over and he was at the store to text him their location so he wouldn't freak out when he got home and they weren't there. Alongside it came a picture of a snug-looking Yukiko in the baby carrier.

He pulled out his phone to look at the picture once more. She was wearing a pair of baby sunglasses. Uraraka must have bought them. It made him feel a little weird that she had spent her own money again, but he did like them. They made Yukiko look both silly and pissed off, like she could not give less of a fuck about what was going on. It was kind of funny.

Once he reached the outskirts of the park, Shigaraki stopped to look around. He hadn’t come here before. It wasn’t like All for One or Kurogiri had ever taken him to play on the swings or taught him how to climb on the jungle gym. He’d gone to a park a few times when he wanted to get out of the base and just think about things. It was a good place to work through problems. Contrary to what Touya believed, he did like being out in the open. Sometimes he needed the fresh air and he didn’t mind the kids. They might have been assholes every now and then, but they weren’t bad.

“Over here!” a voice called out.

Shigaraki recognized it immediately and turned to his right. Sitting on the swings was Uraraka with Yukiko in her lap. They swung back and forth, her feet dragging on the ground, as she waved at him. There was a bright smile on her face and even Yukiko looked content with the swinging motion. Hadn’t he read something about baby swings? Maybe he should look into getting one.

“You’re going to need a proper support system. You can’t do this alone. That means opening up to people whether you like it or not now.”

A support system, huh? Shigaraki had told him a little about Uraraka. He hadn’t told him she was a pro hero who he’d attacked a few times. He might’ve stretched the truth a little, but the point was that he had reached out to someone for help and she had come when he’d called. His therapist had been genuinely impressed and pleased with the progress. He wasn’t sure if the man was okay with the fact that he was still in close contact with Touya, but if it meant him not being alone, then it was better than no one.

He could’ve mentioned All Might. He decidedly did not. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about him beyond irritation and disgruntlement. Besides, did he really want his daughter around the former Symbol of Peace? What did he know about babies anyway?

“Having fun?” Shigaraki asked when he stopped in front of them.

“Her favorite so far is definitely the swings,” Uraraka said decisively, continuing to sway gently back and forth. “I took her down a few slides. I don’t think she knew what to think. She’ll probably like them when she’s older.”

“Adventurous little thing, isn’t she?” Shigaraki replied thoughtfully.

Uraraka kept on smiling. “I didn’t have a park like this when I was growing up. The swings were broken and the slide turned into a huge puddle every time it rained.” She lifted her feet in the air to swing a little more, almost hitting him when she swung forward. Out of some strange instinct, he reached forward and shoved the flat of her shoes, pushing her back and making her swing more. She laughed. “This is nice.”

“No big, fancy playground for you?”

“Not unless you count the various construction sites my parents worked at,” Uraraka replied. She held onto Yukiko a little tighter when he pushed her feet again. “I must have driven my parents crazy. With a quirk that could make me float, I got into the worst places, especially since I couldn’t handle coming back down without puking.”

Shigaraki groaned. “A toddler with a quirk sounds like a nightmare. It’d almost be easier if she was quirkless.”

He really did need to look into Himura’s quirk. Children tended to inherit quirks either similar to one of their parents or mutations of them combined. If she had anything like his quirk, it could be disastrous. At least he was prepared. He often wondered what his parents' quirks had been. Had they had any clue what he would develop? What he could do with a single touch? With any luck, Yukiko wouldn’t get anything like his quirk.

Dropping her feet to the ground, Uraraka slowed herself to a stop. She stood up and held out Yukiko, who once again lifted her arms to him - or at least it looked like it. He could pretend that she gave a shit about him. It was a nice thought. Shigaraki took her and bounced her in his arms, giving her a careful look over. He didn’t know why he did that. It wasn’t like Uraraka would do anything to her.

“Aw!” an older woman gushed behind them. Shigaraki turned to look at her, somewhat alarmed. “You’re such a cute family! What a beautiful daughter you two have.”

Uraraka’s face turned bright red and she began to sputter incoherently, not prepared at all for the proclamation. She didn’t seem capable of forming an actual response and practically shrank behind him in embarrassment.

“We’re not a family,” Shigaraki stated irritably. His face was warm as well, but he didn’t know how to stop it.

“She’s not mine,” Uraraka finally managed.

“Oh!” the woman exclaimed, putting her hands to her cheeks dramatically. “You two looked so comfortable together and with her and she has his eyes and your hair. I just assumed…”

“No, we’re just-” Uraraka and Shigaraki looked at each other at the same time and stared for a moment as they both tried to telepathically come up with the same description. It was hard because he didn’t know what the fuck she was to him. Still a pro hero. An unpaid babysitter. An old enemy. A nice acquaintance? What the fuck was she?

Uraraka turned back to face the same and said, “Friends,” at the same time as he said, “Neighbors,” neither of which were accurate at all. She worked in his neighborhood, but that didn’t make them neighbors. They both immediately whipped their heads to look at each other again, him with a look of consternation on his face and her eyebrows raised and her lips pressed into a thin line as she tried not to laugh at his response.

What? He hadn’t known what to say. It wasn’t like he could tell the truth. Well, he could, but then that old lady would most definitely not think they were so cute and might call the cops. People still looked like they might when they figured out who he was.

The old woman looked confused, so Uraraka continued, “We’ve known each other for quite a few years.” She grinned up at him. “We went through a lot together when we were younger.”

Shigaraki tilted his head and glared at her incredulously. What the fuck? Was she really joking about their history? He did that. He hadn’t expected her to do the same thing.

“It’s so nice that you’re still in each other’s lives after everything,” the woman said, having come up with her own conclusions about what Uraraka meant. They were absolutely incorrect, but judging by the bright look on Uraraka’s face, she didn’t plan on correcting her any time soon.

“Yeah, he put me through a lot and gave me such a hard time.” She lightly punched him in the arm. “Yet here we are.”

Shigaraki grunted. “Yeah, here we are. Fantastic.”

“So sweet and cute,” the woman sighed happily. “And who knows! It could blossom into something more.”

Before Shigaraki could correct her, the woman tottered away, having decided that she’d tortured them enough. As soon as she was out of earshot, Uraraka burst into laughter, startling Yukiko, but luckily she didn’t cry. Uraraka put a hand over her mouth, her eyes glowing sheepishly. He could only lift his eyes to the sky and groan. Could his life get more ridiculous?

“You’re going to have to form real relationships - for yourself and her.”

Not fucking likely. At least not like this and not with bright as fuck people like Uraraka. He had enough to deal with. He didn’t need someone so bubbly in his life. Yukiko, on the other hand… It wouldn’t hurt. She needed that. Judging from her lack of smiling and laughter, plus how she didn’t fight being handed to different people, he highly doubted that Himura had been warm and loving towards her. He’d agreed with his therapist on that one.

“It’s not funny,” Shigaraki said, starting in the direction of his apartment. He wanted to get out of here now before anyone else thought they were a family. He couldn’t handle that right now. His head was already filled with enough fog from everything he’d talked about with his therapist. The man always brought up uncomfortable things. Family had been one of his triggers in the beginning. He’d kind of thought he was over it.

Uraraka picked up the baby carrier next to the swing and jogged to catch up with him. “It’s kind of funny.” She playfully flicked her hair with one of her hands and gave him an amused look, one hand on her hip. She was definitely teasing him. “Because I’m so your type.”

“People would probably accuse you of having like Stockholm Syndrome or something,” Shigaraki mumbled.

“Like some sort of damsel?” Uraraka countered airily

Shigaraki scoffed. “You're hardly a damsel.”

He had spent the past week pinpointing old memories of her from his past encounters with heroes, other villains, and those damn U.A. kids. He had faced her once, if only briefly, when she had interrupted a fight with Midoriya. He had been captured not long after that and so much had happened in those months that he'd kind of forgotten. She had been fierce and intense back then and she hadn't even been a full-fledged hero yet. She'd nearly brought an entire building down on him. It was only thanks to his quirk that he'd managed to keep from getting crushed, but it had been precarious until Kurogiri had found him. He remembered thinking the sky was literally falling and just standing there watching it happen, knowing he couldn't escape.

“Thanks for the compliment,” Uraraka replied dryly.

“It’s not a compliment,” Shigaraki said as they entered his apartment building. “It’s the truth.”

He hadn’t become a notorious villain by underestimating his adversaries. He had to look at them honestly and assess all of their weaknesses and strengths if he was going to beat them. There was confidence and then there was cockiness. Shigaraki could admit to some arrogance in his villain days (in his civilian days too even if he was just a video game store employee?), but he didn’t let that get the best of him when it came to enemies. He had to know when they were stronger than him in some areas.

And Uraraka had been and still was very strong.

Her cheeks were always pink thanks to those little spots on her face, but they definitely looked pinker than normal now. He didn’t know what the big deal was. He was just being honest. Didn’t people like that? Heroes were supposed to be these good, earnest people. Maybe she thought all villains, former or current, were natural born liars, but he’d had to be honest too. Plus, it didn’t help that his entire life had been built on lies. Maybe he avoided talking about how he felt or admitting when he was struggling, but he wasn’t overly fond of lying, especially to get something.

By the time they reached his floor, Yukiko was getting fussy in his arms. That usually meant one of three things (hungry, tired, or in need of a change), but before he could ask Uraraka when Yukiko had last done anything related to those three options, he spotted something that made him freeze in the hallway. Well, it was more like he’d spotted two somethings, specifically sitting in front of his door with bright bows on them.

“Did Christmas come early?” Uraraka as she strode forward while he was still frozen on the spot. Before she could pick up the card on top of the larger box, he rushed forward and snatched it while her fingers were inches away from the paper. She jerked her hand back, eyes wide and innocent, but didn’t snap at him for his rude behavior.

Shigaraki didn’t need to read the card to know who it was from, but his gaze locked onto the note anyway and he felt his stomach turn on its end.

When I visited you, I noticed you didn’t have a swing. I’ve heard that a swing is an indispensable tool when it comes to raising a baby. I saw what formula you were using and I know it can get expensive, along with diapers. This should last you for a while. I really do hope you’re doing well and are asking for help when you need it. Please, do not hesitate to call me. I know it’s weird, but I want you to know that you’re not alone in this, even if you feel like you are.

Basically, what he was saying was, I am here, and it made Shigaraki instantly burn with aggravation.

(He hadn’t been there before. What was the point of him being here now? He didn’t need him.)

“I don’t fucking need his fucking charity,” Shigaraki snarled. Seeing as how he’d taken his gloves off earlier, he didn’t have to bother tugging one off in order to throw what was probably a tantrum. He didn’t care. He destroyed the card in a matter of seconds and then reached out to touch the box containing the swing, fully intent on disintegrating it and turning it into a useless pile of ash. However, before he could do so, Uraraka snatched him by the wrist in a lightning-fast move. He glared at her furiously. “Let go.”

“No,” Uraraka simply told him.

He couldn’t fucking believe it. Okay, he could, but at the same time, it pissed him off even further. Who did she think she was? She didn’t know him. She didn’t have any right to tell him what to do or stop him from doing this. It wasn’t any of her business. Once again, it was yet another hero bossing him around, telling him how to live his life. He didn’t want this. He didn’t need this.

“Let go of me, Uraraka,” he growled.

“I will when you stop behaving like a toddler,” Uraraka countered, glaring right back at him. His red gaze zeroed in on her hand holding his wrist. It was a firm grip, but not a painful one. He could continue to reach out to the box and touch it with minimal struggling. She wasn’t pulling him back and she wasn’t holding him in a vise. What he noticed the most though was her pointer finger hanging in the air so that she was only gripping onto him with four fingers. Most people would use the pinky, but that lessened the strength of the grip. He knew better and as did she. When his eyes flickered back to hers, she softened her expression marginally. “Are you going to stop?”

“Yes, fine,” Shigaraki snapped.

Uraraka loosened her grip on him and then pulled her hand away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to-” She looked back to the boxes. “I just didn’t want you to do something you might regret later. He only wants to help.”

Shigaraki’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. “How do you know who it is?”

“I figured All Might is the one person who might make you react so…” Uraraka bit her lip and he could tell she didn’t want to continue with the statement, worried it would only offend him further. He gave her an expectant look, telling her to finish. “Like a wounded child.”

He actually flinched. She was right to have not wanted to finish that thought. Was he that obvious to read? He supposed All Might had always been one of his triggers and still sort of was even after years of therapy. He’d calmed down a lot. It was still pathetic that she had been able to catch on so quickly. She barely knew him.

“Look at it this way,” Uraraka continued, trying to push past the awkwardness. “You do need these things and now you don’t have to worry about them. Trust me; that swing will be a lifesaver. It’ll help her nap, which will, in turn, give you time to yourself or to sleep.” That did sound nice. He would really like to be able to eat without having to shovel everything down his throat as fast as possible. He couldn’t even taste food that way, not that he’d been eating the most delicious food recently. “Plus, he didn’t stick around so you don’t have to see him. He dropped the items off and left. He’s not here. You can forget about him.”

It was so damn ironic. He wasn’t here and yet he was. All Might was like an itch he couldn’t get rid of. It had been years since he was the number one hero and the Symbol of Peace. Somehow, despite Shigaraki’s and the League’s many attempts, he was still alive - and he was trying to make up for what he hadn’t even been around to do in the first place.

Realistically, looking back on it now (and again, thanks to therapy), he knew it was pointless for him to hate All Might and blame him for not helping him when he was a child. To be honest, Shigaraki wasn’t even sure All Might had been in Japan at the time. It wasn’t his fault that other people had used his power as an excuse not to do anything. It wasn’t his fault that Shigaraki’s quirk had turned out to be so dangerous and no one had known until it was too late. No, it wasn’t his fault that his nemesis had found him first - had been waiting to take him away as revenge against All Might - and turned him into his obedient puppet.

It was still easier to dislike him. Less complicated.

Uraraka’s words did make sense though. Just forget about All Might. Yes, Shigaraki could do that. There were a lot of things that he straight up ignored and pretended didn’t exist. That was easy too. Was it the best solution? Probably not considering it wasn’t very long term, but he didn’t much care about that at the time.

“Okay,” Shigaraki decided, dropping his hand completely to his side.

Uraraka eyed him carefully before giving him a single nod. “Good.”

When he unlocked the front door, she tapped the large box and gift basket, making them float, and pushed them inside. Once she had them in the corner, she released her quirk. It certainly was convenient. That would’ve made moving the few stuff he owned into this place a lot easier. Boxes, furniture, random shit - she could be a one-woman moving team.

After pulling her phone out of her back pocket to check the time, Uraraka said, “I should probably get going. You need anything else?”

“No, I’m-”  he pointedly ignored the boxes when he looked at her. “ I’m all set.”

“No help in setting this thing?” Uraraka asked, waving a hand at the swing. No, he was ignoring it. He’d deal with it later when it didn’t put him in a sour mood. She would be mad at him if he threw a fit and destroyed it. She was right: he was acting like a child. Who cared where it came from? “It’s a little different than building something in Minecraft.”

“I don’t play Minecraft,” Shigaraki told her, almost feeling insulted by the assumption.

Uraraka winked. “Whatever you say, nerd.”

Shigaraki didn’t even know what to say. Was this how far he’d fallen? A pro hero calling him a nerd? Even worse, he didn’t have a comeback. He could say that he wasn’t one, but, to be fair, all she had to do was look around his mess of a place and point out a few things that would contradict him. He wasn’t a nerd. He just happened to like a few nerdy things. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. At least she hadn’t figured out where the name “Yukiko” had come from.

Speaking of which…

“When-?”

“She’s probably due for a bottle and a change,” Uraraka said as she picked up her bag and slid the strap over her shoulder. It was like she’d read his mind. How had she known that was what he was about to ask? It was probably a predictable question, seeing as how his life revolved around Yukiko. There wasn’t much else he would ask. “Shoot me a text if you need anything.” She saluted jokingly. “I’ll be around. Hopefully, it’s another quiet night.”

“Not wanting to fight any villains?” Shigaraki asked.

Uraraka paused with her hand on the doorknob. “Being a hero isn’t about flashy fights and being in the spotlight. It can be the little things too.” She pulled the bag strap further up her shoulder. “I think a lot of heroes - myself included - forget that sometimes. We need to appreciate the good days. That’s when we know we’re doing our jobs.”

It did seem like being a pro hero meant huge battles, clashing with villains, and daring rescues. He knew she was fully capable of all those things. He was sure she’d saved a lot of lives since she started her career as a hero. She had a quirk built for saving people, although he had seen her in action too. That wasn’t what being a hero was about; she was right. Heroes that were focused on big, flashy fights tended to look over the smaller issues. Like a scared, little boy slumped against a wall and shocked into silence - or a man struggling with a baby.

Uravity might just be a good hero. It was unfortunate society tended to look over those people as well.

*

Life fell into a strange routine, one she could have never planned on. It wasn’t like Uraraka had anticipated becoming a part of Shigaraki’s life, but she was definitely on the outskirts of it, at least as far as Yukiko was concerned. After two weeks of dealing with bureaucrats and taking tests, he was able to get all the necessary paperwork to make Yukiko a citizen. She really hadn’t existed. It made Uraraka wonder how Himura had given birth in the first place. She hadn’t gone to a hospital. Yukiko had been a ghost up until she was dropped into Shigaraki’s arms.

Just as they had decided on, for those weeks, Uraraka came over once to watch Yukiko. They kept in steady contact throughout the weeks, which was unusual in the fact that it was so normal. Shigaraki always seemed certain that she would change her mind at the last minute, but she never did. Once she committed to something, short of a terrorist attack, she wasn’t going to blow either of them off. He needed that time to himself. A part of her thought he let her come around so Touya and Fuyumi wouldn’t think he was struggling. If he didn’t ask them for help and looked fine, then he must be doing good.

He was doing good. She genuinely thought he was doing better than he realized. Sure, he hadn’t figured out a proper sleep schedule and his hygiene had taken a slight dip, but he was taking care of Yukiko. She was his priority. To be honest, Uraraka thought his food consumption hadn’t changed much. He didn’t seem like the type that did a lot of home-cooked meals. He could get away with that now while Yukiko ate formula and baby food later on, but he would have to figure out something once she started eating actual food.

Uraraka was at the tail end of having lunch with Deku and his mom when she got a surprise text from Shigaraki. She was pretty much finished and excused herself to the restroom so she could check it out. Not that she was trying to be sneaky or Deku would be nosy, but she needed to wash her hands anyway. Once she closed the door, she pulled her phone out and checked the message.

Hey are you busy?

Just had lunch with Deku. What’s up? The last time she’d lied about doing something, he’d gotten disgruntled over it. He didn’t like coming off as an inconvenience. He wasn’t one, but it would be a while before he accepted that. If it was a big deal, he would ask her anyway instead of going to someone else.

I know this is really fucking random and I did not want to do this, but I need a favor.

Oh, he didn’t need to tell her that he didn’t want to do this. It had probably taken him a better part of an hour before he copped and texted her. She was kind of proud of him, but it did worry her too. Had something serious happened? It wasn’t like him to text her for help outside of their schedule.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, she’s fine. I just need to go into work for a few hours, but I won’t have her daycare paperwork shit finished until tomorrow. They need so much. It’s not bring your kid to work day.

Uraraka sighed in relief. One of the things he had decided on was returning to work. It had been a month. He had to go back or face the possibility of losing his job. Plus, he did not want to resort to asking for help regarding bills. She thought of that credit card he’d used in order to buy all the baby stuff that first night. He had money, but he didn’t seem to like to use it. Maybe he was just a penny pincher. That really nice computer and gaming system said otherwise, but everyone had their guilty pleasures. She spent way too much money on food.

Want me to ask Deku if he wants to help?

I know you’re joking but that’s not funny.

I am not. He’s great with kids. Uraraka snickered to herself. She could just imagine Shigaraki grumbling to himself over the mere idea of Deku getting involved with taking care of Yukiko. He was really good with kids. He’d admitted to not knowing if he would ever have any - being the number one hero did not leave much room for relationships or starting a family - but he was always excited around them. What time do you have to go in?

Not for a few hours. I’m switching to morning shift next week.

I can’t wait to be on morning shift again. Just a few more weeks!

Luckily Yukiko is a morning baby so I’m used to it. She’s also a night baby. Best of both worlds.

Yukiko did sleep a lot - as long as someone was holding her. She sort of liked the swing, but would still wake up whenever Shigaraki left the room. It was like she knew he was trying to do something without her and she didn’t like it at all. She was very attached to him. Over the past month, Yukiko had changed a lot. She was slowly starting to show more of the personality, that she’d apparently been hiding it before. She cried more, wanted more attention, smiled and laughed, and clung to certain toys. She was being more vocal and open. It was slow progress, but it was something.

Just thinking of how Yukiko had been in the beginning made Uraraka’s stomach turn. She hadn’t realized how wrong it was until she noticed how much Yukiko had changed in an admittedly short period of time.

Okay I’m gonna hang out here for a bit longer and then I’ll head over. Deku’s leaving again soon.

Fantastic

He’s still concerned about you.

That’s his problem.

Uraraka rolled her eyes and shoved her phone back in her pocket. She could sense the final tone in his text, meaning that the conversation was over. After washing her hands, she walked back into the dining room where Deku was gathering all the plates. “Sorry about that.”

“Everything okay?” Deku asked curiously. “Do you need to go now?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine. Work just called asking if I could come in for a bit tonight.”

“Didn’t you just say Ryukyu told you that you deserve a break?” Deku pointed out.

Oh, yeah, she had said that. Her boss was incredibly impressed with how Uraraka been handling things the past year. Even if she wasn’t guaranteed to rise in the pro ranks, there was talk about her receiving a promotion. It was really awesome and she was excited about it. Ryukyu had also pointed out that she was running the risk of burning the candle at both ends and that she wanted her to pull back just a little once she was fully on day shift again.

“Uh, yeah, but then two people called in sick today apparently, so she needed someone to stay at the office.” Uraraka picked up her plate to help him and gave him a grin, hoping the explanation would appease him. “Now, I’m pretty sure I was promised dessert.”

“You think I would forget how much you love dessert?” Deku said. There was still a glimmer of doubt in his eyes, but he let it go, thankfully. She tried not to obviously sigh in relief. This lying thing was hard. She didn’t like it and she wasn’t good at it either. Still, she kept on smiling as he added, “Mom has been trying out baking.”

“Toshi says I’m trying to fatten him up,” Inko said from the kitchen.

“I’ll gladly volunteer to try out your bakes if he doesn’t want to,” Uraraka replied.

Deku chuckled and shook his head. It must have been a little weird when his mother and childhood hero had begun dating. No one was quite sure when it had started. His parents' divorce had been a quiet and small affair after he had graduated. It had thrown Deku off a little, but he’d admitted he mostly felt weird because it didn’t bother him. He hadn’t seen his father for years and they only talked on the phone here and there. The man simply wasn’t a part of his life.

He seemed more upset that his mother had waited for so long. There hadn’t been any bitterness between them. She hadn’t been devastated or lost in grief. Thinking about what Inko had gone through helped Uraraka during some of her darkest days following the break-up. She loved her parents, but they were so stupid in love and had been dating since high school. Being so close to Deku meant knowing his mother and she’d called the older woman a few times asking for advice. She really was a kind-hearted and sweet woman, which was why it was absolutely adorable and so wonderful that she’d found happiness with someone else.

Even if it was weird that All Might was that someone else. Deku’s idol was dating his mom. They had all reacted upon finding that out. Deku had laughed until he realized they were serious and then he’d blushed as much as his mom, tears leaking from his eyes. He loved his mom so much. All he wanted was for her to be happy. He had said the same thing to Uraraka when he’d helped her move.

It might not seem like it now, but you’ll be happy again. It’s okay to admit that you’re not. I still wish my mom hadn’t hidden it all those years. She wasn’t exactly sad, but… She could have been better.

Uraraka could be happier. She knew that now. It hadn’t seemed like it back then - it had felt like her whole world was crashing down around her - but honestly, here now, she was. There were still bumps in the road, but she was back on track again. She was really making a name for herself and standing out and she had started hanging out with her friends more too. She felt like she was doing things again. It was weird to think about, but it was almost like stumbling across Shigaraki and becoming a part of Yukiko’s life had jumpstarted things for her. She wasn’t complaining.

*

Uraraka left cheerful and waving despite having to go to work on her day off. That wasn't completely odd. She loved being a hero. They all had their off days, even him, but he knew she had been struggling a little. Having gone to night shift had been a good distraction at first since it required stranger hours and often left her too tired to get mopey during the day, but it also hindered one's social life quite a bit, so what had started out as a blessing eventually turned into a curse when she was feeling better and ready to jump back into things.

She didn't like to complain though and was genuinely pleased to be back at Ryuku's agency. Switching to her new agency couldn't have come at a better time for her. It was a good move. The Dragon Hero knew Uraraka's worth and had put her in a high position right at the start. It was high time other people saw that in her. Even she was down, she never let anything knock her out.

Logically, Midoriya knew that he should be pleased that Uraraka was happier. There was something brighter about her recent behavior - more playful, light-hearted, bubbly. She had been that way before, but not nearly as much and not nearly as genuine. She wasn't that great of a liar and she had never done a good job at hiding how she felt. He was just oblivious when it came to himself. By the time he had figured out she had a crush on him, she was already over it and had begun to focus on herself. Apparently, everyone else had known. Kacchan had been very smug about letting him know how stupid he was about it.

So the fact that Uraraka was this happy had to mean something. It couldn't be only because she was going back to the morning shift. Plus, there had been all that secret texting recently. It wasn't all the time, but every now and then she would step into a different room to take a call. He caught her grinning without realizing it when texting, but only sometimes, and she never explained who it was. If it was someone he knew, she would tell him they said hello or something along those lines, but with this specific person, she would silently slip her phone back into her pocket and act like she hadn't been smiling to herself seconds ago while texting.

Maybe he had been a hero for too long with a propensity to get involved in things, but it was suspicious.

“Uraraka seems like she's doing well,” his mother said from the kitchen where she was washing dishes.

Midoriya propped his elbow on the table and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Yes, she does. I'm really happy. Plus, with talk about giving her more responsibility at the agency, she can really start moving up the ranks. Maybe she can start branching out of the country. Her quirk would be suited for natural disasters.”

“Listen to you,” his mother chuckled, “always analyzing and considering people's abilities.” That was one habit he would never be able to get rid of despite having One for All now. It was ingrained in him. “I meant besides her job. I know hero work is the only thing you think of-”

Mom ,” Midoriya huffed, rolling his eyes.

“-but she's had a rough year, personally speaking,” his mother continued, undeterred by his interruption. “It seems silly that something like a break up could affect a person for so long, but…”

Midoriya peered at her through the door. Her back was to him and she was still washing the dishes, but he thought her shoulders were slumped. It was hard for him to gauge how she felt about his father. They'd never really talked about him much before when they were married and he lived across the ocean. Now they were divorced, he still lived in another country and he wasn't spoken about much. Nothing had changed. She refused to talk bad about him in front of Midoriya and insisted there was nothing bad to talk about, but he thought it had made her lonelier than before. He had never considered how lonely her life had been until she had set him down a month after graduation and explained what she and her father had decided to do.

She deserved more. Uraraka deserved more.

“She looks and sounds happy,” his mother continued, “and not in just a way to appease her loved ones.”

His mother would know, but to be honest, he couldn’t agree with her more. “She does. I was kinda worried about her. She really threw herself into work and never wanted to talk about it.” She still didn’t seem to walk to talk about it, per se, but it didn’t feel like it was a burden on her anymore either. It was curious. Had something happened or had she simply moved on? He stood up decisively. “I’ve gotta run a few errands. Do you need anything while I’m out?”

“No, I think I’m good,” his mother replied.

Slipping his shoes back on, Midoriya grabbed a baseball cap and threw it on before rushing out of the apartment. Now that he was the number one hero, his face was everywhere and it didn’t matter how plain he looked. People still recognized him on the street. The hat didn’t do much, but it worked just enough to make people second guess when they saw him. It had only been a few minutes since Uraraka had left, but she could’ve gone anywhere. But she said she was going to work, so maybe if he went in that direction…

Yes, there she was! Walking to the train station. She must have paused to get on her phone, which she was slipping in her back pocket again.

Midoriya pulled his phone out and made a call as he started to follow her. Did he feel a little guilty about doing this? Maybe, but he was concerned. “Hey, are you busy?”

“Literally walking out of the agency now,” Todoroki responded on the other end. “You sound anxious.”

Did he? Well, he kind of felt like it, which was ridiculous. Uraraka was happy, but he wasn’t used to her hiding things. She was normally such an open book. It hadn’t been until this past year that she had started to hide how she felt and it still sat wrong in his head. They told each other everything, even the super embarrassing stuff now. She had a lot of dirt on him.

“Have you noticed Ochako acting strange lately?” Midoriya asked. “I was gone for a few months.”

“Strange, how?” Todoroki asked.

“Evasive,” Midoriya replied. “I think she’s hiding something, but I don’t know what.”

“You think she’s seeing someone?”

“She would tell us though, wouldn’t she?” Midoriya asked as stood in the crowd for the train. He kept his distance from her while making sure she was still in his line of sight. He moved his phone to his other ear so it would partially block his face. “Why wouldn’t she tell us? Maybe it’s someone we know. She wouldn’t hide it if it was someone we didn’t know because then there wouldn’t be a point. But then why wouldn’t the other person tell us? I mean, it can’t be any worse than when she told us she was dating…”

Todoroki hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe they’re talking again. It doesn’t have to be a relationship. She might not want you to know that they’re renewing their friendship.”

“Why not?” Midoriya whined, almost offended by the idea.

“Because you might not think it’s a good idea,” Todoroki pointed out.

Midoriya pressed his lips together. He had a point. “Okay, well, I’m pinging you my location. I’m gonna be on the move since I’m boarding the train, but I think we’re going in the direction of her agency so head that way.”

“Izuku…are you following her?”

“I’m concerned!” Midoriya blurted.

“No, you’re just nosy.” Todoroki sighed. “I’ll head in that direction. Let me know if you get off at a different stop.”

Technically, he didn’t Todoroki to help him with this fake errand, but it would make him feel better to not be alone. Midoriya boarded the train and sat down in the car behind the one she stepped in. There must not have been any open seats in her car because she was standing up, which made it easier for him to keep an eye on what stop she got off on. He knew the one for her agency and apartment. They weren’t too far apart. If she went to work or even home, then he’d know he was being ridiculous. If she went somewhere else…

Okay, yeah, maybe he was just being nosy. He had felt bad about not being around much this past year. They’d re-bonded over the phone with late-night calls and her talking to his mom, but it still sucked. Iida and Todoroki had kept him up to date on how she was doing when he knew she wasn’t telling him the whole truth, but it hadn’t been the same as hearing it from her.

Pulling up Ashido’s contact, Midoriya sent her a quick text: Hey I know this is random, but you’re around more than me.

Oh? This is a very typical cryptic Deku text. Haven’t got one of these in a while.

I know, I know. I’m very bad at staying in contact. I’ve been busy?

I’ll let you off the hook this time. :P What’s up?

Has Ochako been acting weird lately?

There was a pause in the fast-paced conversation. Midoriya watched as three dots appeared and then disappeared multiple times, as if she was considering her words wisely. Either that or she had a lot to say. Ashido might be one of the fastest texters in Japan.

You know now that I think about it yeah. We had a girls’ night out a month ago that she up and left randomly after getting a call. She said it was work, but she’s done that a few times. She really needs to come up with a better excuse. I know she was working crazy hours, but this is insane.

Yup, she’d had a lot to say. Her response did make him feel like some of his suspicions were confirmed, even if he didn’t know what they meant. He glanced at Uraraka through the window. She had her earbuds in and was listening to some music on her phone, bouncing her head along to the beat, expression content. She didn’t look like someone sneaking around in a secret relationship. She would tell him if they were on speaking terms again.

Kacchan certainly wouldn’t say anything to him, but there was no way Midoriya wouldn’t find out.

His phone buzzed in his hand, alerting him to another text from Ashido: What if she’s seeing someone and not telling us? :O A secret relationship!

You think she’d hide it from us?

Well, the tabloids did a number on her during the breakup and with all those other rumors popping up. Maybe that’s why she’s keeping it on the DL.

Midoriya hesitated. Those other rumors. He could still remember Uraraka calling him crying on the phone when they surfaced. It had been three months ago? She’d been doing good and then that splashed all over the hero news and she went into a spiral. Drinking an entire bottle of sake alone had pushed her into a hysterical state and she’d been too embarrassed to call any of the girls. She didn’t want them to come over and see her like that - feel sorry for her or unintentionally make her feel even more pitiful - so she had called him since he was an ocean away. She’d made him swore not to tell anyone about her “hiccup” and he hadn’t, but it still made him want to bite his nails thinking about it.

So far, nothing had come of those rumors and misunderstandings like that happened all the time, but still… He almost asked Ashido about it, but then thought better of it. He was already sticking his nose in one person’s business. Adding someone else would just be madness and he didn’t have time for that. In between working back in the country, he was due to leave within the week. He liked being home, but he couldn’t be the number one hero in just Japan. He had to branch out and go elsewhere. Snooping on one friend was timely as it was.

I’m gonna call and ask her.

Midoriya fumbled with his phone upon seeing that text and nearly dropped it on the train floor. It would’ve been gone for good had he done that. He managed to send a simple NO before she could do anything and got a ??? back in response. He sighed in relief.

I’m kinda following her.

OMG! BOY! Now that’s what I’m talking about. You nosy little gossip! Now I don’t have to do it.

Ugh we’re terrible friends aren’t we? She’s been really happy. I don’t know why I’m so worried about her being happy.

Because she’s like your best friend and you love her but she’s being hella suspicious. I texted Tsuyu and she said that Ochako has been acting super weird. Like she makes lame excuses about why she can’t do things on random days. Secret relationship. I’m calling it.

Midoriya shook his head. They were being so terrible. He should’ve just asked her, but then he remembered catching her texting that first time, seeing the grin on her face, and he didn’t want to push the topic. He could sense her throwing up a wall immediately and he didn’t like it. The last time she’d done that she’d exploded like she was a balloon filled with every emotion possible. It hadn’t been fun for anyone, least of all her, and she had seemed really happy back then too.

Keep me in the loop, Secret Agent Man.

Honestly, he was one of the least sneaky people he knew. He had to keep his head mostly down in order to hide his face. If anyone recognized him, they’d make a commotion and Uraraka would see him. He should’ve asked her. Why hadn’t he done that? It would’ve been so much easier than this and less invasive. Maybe. Possibly. Yup, he was going on the Bad Friend List.

The stop Uraraka took was not the one for either her agency or her apartment, but it was still close. She could have conceivably wanted to walk the rest of the way since the train was crowded. Midoriya texted Todoroki and jumped off before the doors shut. He got a quick response back from Todoroki saying he was close by. Buzzing with nervous and guilty energy, Midoriya didn’t know what to do. He was being stupid. He was being weird. He was being nosy. Maybe he and Todoroki should just hang out once they met up like normal friends instead of tailing their other friend.

He was about to round a corner when Todoroki appeared, wearing a hood over his head, and said, “Hey, you look like a stalker,” which only dismayed Midoriya further. Todoroki was still very obvious if someone looked at his face, but he did have a quiet way of blending in with the crowd. Sometimes, Midoriya missed his days of anonymity and being average as all get out, but he’d had to let go of that once he started to seriously climb the ranks.

Todoroki looked around as they walked. “This is...not a good area.”

“I know!” Midoriya exclaimed. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Well, to them, it wasn’t so bad. As the current top two pro heroes, if there was a villain living here that wanted to attack them, if they didn’t win, then they really didn’t deserve their titles or ranks. Uraraka could handle herself as well. He had seen her take down multiple villains all on her own and she packed one hell of a punch. Still, it was weird. Why was she coming here at all? No one just took a stroll through this neighborhood for fun or to relax and it looked like she had a destination.

“Oh, look, she’s going into that apartment building,” Midoriya said.

“What do we do now? We can’t follow her inside without looking obvious.” Todoroki waved a dismissive hand at a pair of dying bushes. “Do we hide in there?”

“Let’s just…look casual.” Midoriya leaned against the wall, trying to appear as if he was wasting the day away and had nothing better to do.

Todoroki took one look at him and shook his head. “Now we look like drug dealers.”

He didn’t argue though and got into a position, looking much more genuinely casual than Midoriya did. He didn’t even look at the apartment building often. However, Midoriya was having difficulty looking away from it. Something itched at him in the back of his mind. He took his phone out and pulled up the GPS so he could check the building’s address. The moment he read it off out loud, a shock ran through him and he jerked upright. Even Todoroki was taken aback, staring at him with an alarmed look in his eyes.

“That’s…” Midoriya furrowed his brow and read the address again.

“Shigaraki’s apartment building,” Todoroki finished when Midoriya couldn’t seem to get the words out.

Midoriya looked up at him. “How did you know that?”

“I asked Fuyumi,” Todoroki responded, looking more troubled and confused by the second. “I told her I wanted to send him a congratulatory gift for the baby. She believed it for all of three seconds.”

“What did you want to know it for?” Midoriya asked curiously.

Todoroki did not look ashamed one bit when he answered, “In case something went wrong with the baby. It’s hard to trust him and believe he’s changed for good, even after what I saw.”

Well, that was one way to be prepared. Midoriya’s stomach flip-flopped. He really wanted to believe that Shigaraki was doing good and trying his best to be a father. He knew how much Shigaraki’s improvement meant to All Might too. If anything were to happen to cause him to slip back into his old ways… Stress could make people feel cornered into doing a lot of stupid things.

“How did you know?” Todoroki asked.

Midoriya smiled sheepishly. “I looked in All Might’s address book. He still keeps one.”

“And you said you’re not good at being sneaky,” Todoroki mocked.

“I’m not,” Midoriya insisted. “It’s just that All Might is even worse.” He returned his attention back to the building. She hadn’t come back out yet. He knew what floor Shigaraki’s apartment was on, but he couldn’t be sure which window was his. If he had an apartment facing the alley, they wouldn’t be able to see it from here. “Why would she come here? She was so surprised when I talked to her about the dinner. Did she seek him out after?”

“Are you positive she didn’t already know?” Todoroki brought up. “This is in the area she patrols, isn’t it? She was on duty the night of the incident where Shigaraki called the villain in. What if she saw him then?”

“Why wouldn’t she tell me though?” Midoriya asked, feeling kind of hurt even though he had been the one following her and sticking his nose in her business. He took a deep breath. “I’m making this too personal. She doesn’t have to tell me everything, but she didn’t tell anyone about this - and it’s about Shigaraki. Unless she’s meeting someone else here and this is just a huge coincidence.”

In that moment, the front door to the apartment building opened. It wasn’t Uraraka that walked out onto the sidewalk but Shigaraki. Midoriya’s heart did a weird stutter in his chest. His hair was shorter, he was taking much better care of his skin to the point where any dryness was almost nonexistent, he might’ve been a little skinnier, and he was wearing khakis and a black polo video game store uniform shirt. But it was him. Midoriya would’ve recognized those sharp red eyes anywhere. They were different from Kacchan’s fiery ones, but they burned bright all the same, even when he looked tired and somewhat frazzled.

No Uraraka though. She was still inside. She went in. Shigaraki came out.

He was wearing a polo and khakis, for heaven’s sake. Did villains wear polos and khakis? They were hardly the type of clothes one wore when they were committing crimes, aside from fashion ones. Besides, Shigaraki wasn’t a villain anymore. He wasn’t a criminal. He was a parolee. He’d served his time, the shorter sentence that Midoriya had fought for, and he was trying to live his life. He was a single parent. Midoriya thought of all the time his mother raised him by herself. How hard had that been on her? How hard was it on Shigaraki? He couldn’t think the worst of him.

But where was Uraraka? This couldn’t be a coincidence.

Todoroki abruptly walking toward the building startled Midoriya out of his confused thoughts, making him jump and ask, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going inside,” Todoroki responded without looking back or stopping.

Horror (or maybe embarrassment) washed over Midoriya. “Why?”

“To make sure she’s okay.”

Midoriya sputtered and repeated, “ Why ? You can’t possibly think Shigaraki did something to her.” He rushed to catch up with Todoroki, who merely shrugged his shoulders in response. He couldn’t discount it. Uraraka went in. Shigaraki came out. What in the world was going on? He had thought this would answer his questions, not give him more, but this was just plain weird. Shigaraki being a dad was weird enough as it was. “What? Do you think he lured her to his apartment and has her tied up there or something?”

“He’s already involved with my brother and sister - and not likely to leave apparently,” Todoroki stated as he opened the door and walked inside. “I’d like to know what business he has with one of my closest friends. She doesn’t need to be dragged into his shit too.”

Midoriya raised his eyebrows, but said nothing to counter him. Sometimes he forgot about how protective Todoroki was of his friends. Uraraka was like family to him. One of the few times he and Kacchan had talked in the past year had been an out of the blue text from Kacchan telling him to get Todoroki off his back. Todoroki’s response had been simple: I’ll get off his back when he stops being an inconsiderate asshole. He hadn’t really been an asshole (well, okay, he hadn’t been trying to be inconsiderate), but Todoroki held grudges more than he liked to admit.

His feelings toward Shigaraki were conflicted at best. On one hand, he thought it was important for them to be able to move on so that former villains like Shigaraki (and Touya) could rebuild their lives. Punishment without the possibility of reformation was pointless and cruel. However, as much as he was all for Shigaraki fixing his life and becoming a better person, Todoroki would have greatly preferred it if he had done that away from his siblings.

Knowing there was no point in arguing with him, especially when it was a touchy subject with his brother having been the villain that kidnapped Kacchan and helped start the spiral of their three years at UA, Midoriya kept his mouth shut and surveyed the building as they climbed the stairs. There were a few poorly repaired cracks in the walls. This wasn’t the worst place he had stepped foot in, but it was definitely in need of some upkeep. The landlord or owner had tried to fix it, but either gave up or thought it was good enough. They cared enough to try, just not hard enough.

Midoriya was the number one hero, yet he shuffled behind Todoroki as he strode down the hallway to the correct apartment. Unexpectedly, he could hear music playing behind the door, the sort of upbeat and poppy tune that he associated with Uraraka. Actually, when he listened properly, he could hear singing as well. This was Shigaraki’s apartment. He’d memorized the address. What was going on?

Before he could ask any questions, Todoroki knocked on the door and, as clear as day, Uraraka’s voice sounded on the other end. “Did you forget your keys? I swear, I told you to grab them, but no, you had to be a snarky asshole about it and-”

The apartment door opened, revealing Uraraka with a baby in her arms and her mouth open. Todoroki still had his hand up like he was still knocking. Midoriya gawked. His eyes flickered from Uraraka’s shocked face to the baby in her arms. She was a little thing with thin legs and arms, currently snuggled up against Uraraka’s chest and clinging to her like her life depended on it. What he noticed the most though was the baby’s somehow sharp red eyes and the mole on her cheek. It was in the same spot as Shigaraki’s and Nana’s.

“Uh,” Uraraka stammered, “hey guys?”

“What are you doing here?” Midoriya blurted out.

“What are you doing here?” Uraraka questioned. She held the baby closer to her, almost like she was protecting her from them, and he watched as her expression went from confused to suspicious. “Did you…? Did you follow me?’

“That’s ridiculous!” Midoriya laughed nervously.

“Oh my god, you did!” Uraraka exclaimed. “Why would you do that?”

Midoriya glanced at Todoroki, who was still too shocked to respond, and then back to Uraraka, who just looked really disappointed now. He should’ve given her credit, but she’d been hiding her feelings for a year. Everyone had pointed it out, even Kacchan, and he didn’t know what he could do to help her. That wasn’t the real question though. He had to focus. Him being worried about her was reasonable. Her holding Shigaraki’s baby like it was no big deal? That was freaking weird.

“You’re hanging out in Tomura Shigaraki’s apartment with his baby like it’s normal,” Midoriya pointed out, incredulity lacing his voice. “What the hell?”

Uraraka grimaced awkwardly. Oh no. This was worse than he’d thought. Granted, he hadn’t known what to think, but if she was hiding this from him and felt that uncomfortable, then it was bad. “It might be normal now?”

“What do you mean?” Midoriya asked. The look Uraraka gave him was almost pleading, begging him not to make her answer him. This was strange enough as it was, but he had a feeling that the truth was even stranger.

Unfortunately for her, Todoroki was not that accepting. “How long have you known about this?”

“Um,” Uraraka mumbled, “since the night he found out he was a father.”

Midoriya brought a hand up to his mouth. “Oh my god.”

“Ochako,” Todoroki managed, somehow sounding shocked, confused, and betrayed all at once. “How? Why?”

“I just-” Uraraka bounced the squirming baby in her arms. Midoriya didn’t know whether to keep looking at the baby or her. The baby (Yukiko was her name, right?) looked quite attached to her. Trusting. “I saw him at the end of my patrol and he was struggling so bad. He didn’t know anything about babies. He was feeding her milk from a glove!”

Todoroki let out a breath. “Touya did tell me about that. He thought it was funny. Fuyumi was horrified.”

“We’re heroes - we’re supposed to help people in need - but I just wanted to be a good person, so I helped him buy the essentials and left him my number in case he was desperate. I had to do it. She needed help too.” Uraraka looked down at the baby in her arms, making a silly face that made the baby squeal in delight. It honestly kind of made Midoriya’s heart skip a beat. It was so cute. “You should’ve seen her back then. I didn’t think anything of it before - I just thought she was quiet - but it’s obvious she wasn’t…”

A strange look came over Todoroki’s face. It was gone in a flash, but Midoriya caught it while Uraraka was playing with Yukiko. It was one of understanding. Neither he nor Uraraka would’ve caught the signs of neglect and abuse as quickly as Todoroki. He was staring at Yukiko now, his expression much softer.

“That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell us,” Todoroki pointed out.

Uraraka chewed on her lip, which Yukiko apparently thought was funny too. “He was humiliated. He didn’t want other people to know that he’d asked for help - especially a pro hero’s help. It would’ve been rude of me to tell others when it’s not my life.” Her expression hardened a little. “I know what it’s like to be gossiped about and have my private business talked about. I wasn’t about to do the same thing to him when he’s trying really hard to do good.”

Oh. That...made perfect sense. Uraraka had been horrified when the breakup and everything that came about after was splashed about in the tabloids. She was a hero and she was very professional about it, but for a minute, it was like her being a hero came second to all the gossip and rumors. It had been embarrassing. Midoriya was lucky in the sense that he was usually too busy to do anything aside from hero work, so nothing really came out about him and, if it did, he knew it was fake and he got over it fast.

It hadn’t been like that with Uraraka. The tabloids had had a field day with it and ran. All of their friends hashed it out at least once with the press over it, even Kacchan, who had admittedly only made things worse when he did. If any of those people found out about her helping Shigaraki with his baby, they would go wild. Neither one of them would get any peace for a while. The baby didn’t need that, not after living with a serial killer for the first few months of her life. It was no wonder why they hadn’t told anyone about this.

That didn’t make it any less weird.

“So you helped him that first night and then what?” Midoriya asked.

“He called me freaking out a few days later because he accidentally hurt her while cutting her fingernails,” Uraraka explained. “He was tired and stressed, so I offered to watch her here and there. I don’t think he slept properly until the dinner with Todoroki’s family.”

Midoriya glanced over at Todoroki, who nodded in acknowledgment. “He did pass out on the couch right after we ate. Fuyumi said he didn’t wake up until in the morning.”

“Plus,” Uraraka added brightly, determined to make a positive spin on this, “she’s so sweet! Look how cute she is. How could you say no to this face?” She rubbed noses with Yukiko. Uraraka’s pink cheeks bunched up as she smiled and the two of them giggled together. It was really endearing. Something about it put Midoriya at ease, even though he knew he shouldn’t. “He said she didn’t smile or laugh at all the first week. Can you imagine? She wasn’t quiet. She was sad. It was like...like she didn’t think anyone would care about her. I couldn’t…”

Midoriya laid a hand on her arm. “No, I get it. I mean, it’s weird - because, well, it’s Shigaraki - but I know why you’re here.”

Tenko Shimura had been left behind and abandoned. Yukiko would not suffer the same fate.

“And I didn’t want to tell you all because I knew you’d be against it and immediately judge him,” Uraraka added.

While Todoroki did not even flinch at the accusation, Midoriya winced a little. He wanted to believe that Shigaraki was on the straight and narrow, he was doing good, and he wasn’t, well, a villain anymore. He had argued in court to give him the chance to prove himself eventually outside of prison. How could he truly rebuild his life while locked up? It was one thing to push for it though and another to actively be involved in that rebuilding. Had he not told Uraraka that he wanted to help somehow?

He couldn’t berate her for doing the same thing. Even her not telling them had been her way of helping him, making Shigaraki more comfortable with the idea of a pro hero watching his child. Just as Todoroki was protective of his friends, Midoriya had not forgotten how protective Shigaraki had been of those under his charge in the League. They had been more like family to him in the end.

“Can you blame us?” Todoroki questioned.

“No, not really,” Uraraka admitted, “but he’s doing really good, I swear! He’s a good dad. He’s learning, but he’s very attentive with her. And he’s actually kind of...funny?” She smiled. “He might be more of a nerd than you, Deku.”

Todoroki snorted. “Impossible.”

“Oi, Uraraka!” a familiar voice called down from the hallway. All three of them froze inside the apartment, although Todoroki was the only one to not look all too bothered about being caught. Midoriya’s first instinct was to either dive in the bedroom, dragging Todoroki with him, or freaking jump out the window, but it was too late. “Don’t you dare say I told you so, but I left- Why the hell is my front door open?”

When Shigaraki appeared in the doorway, one of his gloves tugged off in preparation, he came to a sudden halt when his eyes landed on the two new occupants in his apartment. Midoriya knew Shigaraki’s quirk was very dangerous, but it was difficult to take him as a serious threat when he was wearing khakis and a polo. He still had his red shoes, which made things all the more absurd since Midoriya was wearing his as well.

Midoriya raised a hand and smiled nervously. “Hi, uh, congratulations?”

Shigaraki narrowed his red eyes into a furious glare. “What the hell are you two doing here?”

“Uraraka didn’t tell us!” Midoriya rushed to explain. He didn’t want Shigaraki to get the wrong idea that she had betrayed his trust or their agreement in any way. It had clearly been very important to her that she keep his business and her help private and his nosiness had completely ruined it. He didn’t want to mess up...whatever this was too. He felt bad enough.

However, Shigaraki didn’t even blink. “I know that.”

Oh. Well then. Even Uraraka relaxed upon hearing that statement. He had faith in her. Maybe even trust. Now that was...interesting.

Upon Shigaraki’s appearance, Yukiko began to wiggle more in Uraraka’s arms. Uraraka brushed past them to step up to him. He sighed in aggravation but took his daughter anyway, muttering, “Spoiled brat,” without any heat behind it. To some, it might’ve sounded like he was insulting his own child, but there was a fondness in his tone that Midoriya just barely caught. That softness vanished without a trace when he glared back at them. “Now, what the fuck are you doing here in my apartment?”

With Todoroki completely unbothered, Midoriya opened his mouth to explain himself, but Uraraka cut in, “They were worried about me.” Shigaraki looked down at her and - lo and behold - he didn’t argue with her. He didn’t say anything at all, just looked at her and waited for her to continue. Well, she had been helping him out since that first night, which had been a month ago, plus all that texting. They were familiar with each other. It still made Midoriya’s head spin. “I guess they noticed me being more secretive and got curious.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “You truly are awful at sneaking around and keeping secrets. Would’ve made a terrible villain.”

“I don’t like to lie!” Uraraka insisted. “I’m bad at it. I told you I wouldn’t say anything; I didn’t say I’d be good at it.”

“So what?” Shigaraki returned his accusing gaze back to them. “You followed her here like a creep?”

Midoriya held his red face in his hands. “I’m sorry. This was honestly the last thing I expected to find.” How was he to know she was secretly helping out one of their old enemies? He might’ve been the number one hero, but she was a better person than him right now. “You’ve just been acting weird. Even Shouto and Ashido agreed.”

“You talked to Mina about it too?” Uraraka demanded, sounding incredulous.

Even though he didn’t want to face her, Midoriya slowly pulled his face out of his hands. “Uh, she might ask you if you’re hiding a secret boyfriend or something…”

“What?” Uraraka stormed over to pick up her phone (and Shigaraki’s keys) off the table. Her eyes quickly scanned the screen, presumably reading a text from Ashido. Her face flushed and he thought she might accidentally activate her quirk on herself in embarrassment. “Oh my god!”

As Uraraka furiously sent a text back (one that presumably denied being in a secret relationship without telling her about Shigaraki, which...would probably be found out sooner than later, but he wasn’t going to tell her that), Deku looked back to the man in question. He was looking at Uraraka, but he must’ve felt Deku’s eyes on him because he swung his gaze back in his direction and glared heatedly.

For a minute, it made Deku think of the old days, back when the line between heroes and villains was much more distinct - back when he had known that Shigaraki was an enemy and needed to be put away. Things had been a lot easier back then. Everything was clear cut. He didn’t know when things had started to get so messy. One day the lines were blurred and he wasn’t sure what was going on. To be honest, he didn’t think Shigaraki had known either.

It kind of felt like that now. Things were weird and lines were fudged and nothing made sense - but it wouldn’t be all that difficult to cross over. That was what Uraraka had done? She had seen Shigaraki struggling and, despite knowing what he had done to them, she had not hesitated to walk over him and go out of her way to help.

Midoriya wanted to believe that was what All Might would have done. Now that he was retired and only teaching, yes, but… It wasn’t, not really, not back in his prime where Midoriya was now. He didn’t have the time for little things like that. He was too busy working as the number one hero to help out small cases like this. The Symbol of Peace took care of the big things, but that meant so many other people in need were unfortunately pushed to the side for someone else to help. Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn’t.

It was the little things that made a person a hero. It wasn’t just punching a villain, stopping a building from collapsing, or saving people from a natural disaster. It wasn’t always so dramatic. Saving the day could be as simple as helping out a friend during a hard break-up or watching a person’s baby while they got some much-needed rest or ran errands. Anyone could be a hero in their own way. But a true hero? They would extend a hand to anyone, even a former enemy.

“Stop that,” Shigaraki snapped at him.

Midoriya blinked in surprise. “Stop what?”

“That face,” Shigaraki shot back. “I can tell exactly what you’re thinking.” He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “I don’t want your help. All Might hasn’t learned to back off either. I don’t need his fake son in my shit too.”

“Be nice,” Uraraka said without looking up from her phone.

Shigaraki scoffed. “This is my apartment. I can be as rude as I want. They’re intruders.” Uraraka finally looked up at him, settling a look on him that made even Todoroki shake his head and Midoriya cringe a little. It made Shigaraki press his lips together and almost scowl at her, but then he looked back to them. “Whatever. I don’t care. I just don’t want you trying to barge your way into my life to help me because ‘that’s what a hero does’ or some other bullshit.”

Uraraka put her phone back in her pocket. “I told you: Deku is really good with kids.” She held out his keys. He took them from her and handed her Yukiko, who fought for only a few seconds and made a single noise of protest before settling again. “He’s one of the highest rated heroes with kids. I bet Yukiko would love him.”

“Isn’t this weird enough as it is?” Shigaraki complained.

“A bit, yeah,” Midoriya said.

“Can you just…?” Shigaraki lifted a hand, his ungloved one, but stopped before he could scratch his neck and moved to rub his temple instead. “Can you two idiots leave? I don’t want you here in my apartment around my daughter while I’m gone.”

Midoriya didn’t know what to say. Shigaraki was acting like they were a pair of delinquents who might teach her bad habits or do something bad. It was absurd. He almost felt a little insulted, but then he’d been the one to get so worked up and worried that he’d followed Uraraka here, so maybe he deserved that distrust. He knew Shigaraki was never going to like him - just like he knew that he and Kacchan would never be best friends - but he didn’t need someone to like him in order to help them.

“Where are you going?” Todoroki asked.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Shigaraki snapped back, “but what does it fucking look like?”

Midoriya gave him a quick look over again. He was wearing a shirt with a logo for a local video game store on it, the one his records said he was working nowadays. Work. Uraraka had come over to watch Yukiko while he went to work. He must have texted her when they were at his mom’s apartment asking if she could. It was weird, but so normal too.

“How about this?” Midoriya asked, holding out his hands. “I can just do what Uraraka did: give you my number and let you decide what to do.” Shigaraki rolled his eyes, but instead of being deterred, Midoriya stood his ground. “I might not know what it’s like to be a single parent, but I do know what it’s like to be raised by one.”

It kind of looked like he hesitated after that proclamation, but Midoriya didn’t get his hopes up. However, when Shigaraki sighed and shoved his keys in his pockets, he knew he’d won some sort of battle. He might never take him up on his offer for help and Midoriya would have to live with that. Not everyone wanted help. He was holding out his hand, but sometimes the other person had to take it first.

“Fine, I’ll get your number from Uraraka,” Shigaraki grumbled, “if it gets you off my damn case.”

When he glanced at Todoroki, who had remained quiet, the pro hero flatly said, “What? I’m not giving you my number.”

Midoriya cleared his throat to take back Shigaraki’s attention when he sneered at Todoroki. “If you need anything or you have a question, you can shoot me a text. I’ll admit that I’m not always around and I can’t always be here. I just…” He dropped his hands to his side. “My mom was - is - my hero, but she shouldn’t have had to take care of me alone. Being a parent is a tough job and it doesn’t get nearly enough credit.”

“Is it a job requirement for pro heroes to be cheesy?” Shigaraki asked Uraraka.

She nodded. “Yes, it is and we take it very seriously.”

Shigaraki looked very much like he wanted to rub his temple and complain again, but instead, he threw his hands up, done with everything. Uraraka didn’t look bothered in the slightest. She grinned a little, winking at Deku, who could only smile back in bemusement. Was this really happening? She’d had a similar effect on Kacchan - this natural ability to make him simmer down without doing anything - but it was also different with Shigaraki. Unlike Kacchan, who had noticed it and didn’t like it, Shigaraki seemed unaware.

“Okay? Are you happy now? Are we done here?” Shigaraki huffed. “I’m gonna be late for work.”

“Yeah! We can leave.” Midoriya glanced at Uraraka, who nodded her head. She would be fine. She was fine. He trusted her to know if something was off. He was the one that was worrying too much. He had known that he would be leaving and he didn’t know when he would be back. He didn’t want to leave wondering if she was okay. Even though this was a totally unusual (read: insane) situation, he actually felt better and relieved. She was happy. She was doing her job and more.

And Shigaraki was actually doing well and it turned out he was pretty decent at being a single father too, which honestly gave Midoriya some relief as well. He knew that Shigaraki probably didn’t understand why he had argued for the case of a shorter sentence, but he was glad he had done it. Even if Shigaraki thought he wasn’t doing anything, Midoriya saw the differences in him. They might have been subtle, but they were there and, in time, he thought they might get stronger.

It helped that Uraraka was around. Midoriya tried not to smile, lest he give Shigaraki more ideas about what he was thinking. She just had that way with people, always bringing out their good sides. At UA, he teased her about that being her second quirk.

“Well?” Shigaraki prompted. Midoriya frowned. Was he missing something? “Leave! I’m not walking away until I know you’re gone.”

Todoroki rolled his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic.” He turned to Uraraka. “Call you later?”

“Yeah, of course,” Uraraka responded. With his mind resting as easy as it could with her, Todoroki nodded and walked out of the apartment, careful not to touch Shigaraki when he passed him.

Midoriya wanted to hug Uraraka goodbye, but he thought Shigaraki might get frustrated or antsy if he stepped close to Yukiko, so he merely smiled and waved at her. Uraraka held up the baby’s right hand and waved back at him. It was absolutely adorable. He turned to Shigaraki and said, “You’ve got a really cute kid there,” and walked out of the apartment before he could say anything in response.

A small part of him screamed at leaving Uraraka alone in that apartment with Shigaraki. It went against everything he had ever known back in high school. The mere thought of them being in a room together would have sent him into a full-blown panic attack back them. He wasn’t completely comfortable now, if he was being honest, and neither was Todoroki, who had gone very silent and expressionless. It was hypocritical. He had been all gung-ho about helping out Shigaraki, but now that he knew Uraraka already was and had been, it made him nervous.

No, this was her choice, her life. He couldn’t tell her what to do. Besides, he did want to help. If that meant taking a step back and giving Shigaraki space, he would do that. He wouldn’t even ask Uraraka about it. If she told him about it, he would listen with bated breath, even over the simplest of things, but he had to accept that, as of right now, this wasn’t his business and it didn’t involve him. He had to trust that Shigaraki would remain good. It was easier said than done, but he would do it. Too much was at stake for Shigaraki not to stay on the straight and narrow.

Chapter 12: there's a first time for everything

Chapter Text

Before, the idea of waking up this early, especially for work, would have made Shigaraki throw his blanket over his head and absolutely refuse to get out of bed. What was the point? No one should be awake at this ungodly hour. It was the ass crack of dawn. There was nothing to do at this time.

However, a baby changed all of that. Yukiko was over four months now and, according to the internet, her sleep habits for the rest of her life would start settling. He hoped the fuck not. She still slept at odd hours for odd intervals and he didn’t think he could adapt to it while also working full-time. He needed to get her on a schedule, but he didn’t know how. The internet gave him tips, but every damn tip was geared toward a couple raising a baby. What about all of the single parents out there? Screw them apparently. Single parents could sleep when they were dead.

To be honest, he was starting to consider actual co-sleeping. She just wanted to be close and he was getting a little desperate. The only reason he hadn’t caved beyond falling asleep on the couch with her was fear. It had been a long time since fear had been a motivation for him, but it was there, blinking like a warning sign in the back of his mind.

What if she got in the habit of sleeping next to him and would only sleep that way for years? What if he rolled on her while he was asleep? What if she rolled off of the bed? What if one of his gloves somehow came off? (He didn’t like sleeping with the gloves on, but he needed to be extra careful with her.) What if she smothered on the blanket or a pillow? If she got cold? Too hot? What if-?

Sleeping should not be this stressful, but here he was, rubbing at the bags under his eyes as he pushed Yukiko down the sidewalk in a cheap stroller.

For her part, she seemed just fine, sitting still and watching the world pass her by. Shigaraki thought he would feel less like a dumbass pushing her in this than he did carrying her in the baby carrier, but he didn’t. He knew people weren’t staring at him (everyone minded their own business this early at least), but he felt too self-aware about this not being a good neighborhood. How could he defend himself with a baby? Would he have to run? It would take too long to unbuckle her and run with her in his arms. Did he really need to buckle her in? She wasn’t moving. Maybe he should just go back to the apartment. Did he really need to go to work?

Stop it, you idiot, Shigaraki scolded himself harshly. You wanna pay your bills? You gotta go to work.

Besides, it wasn’t his neighborhood or the early hour or even work that was getting him worked up. It was the idea of dropping Yukiko off at daycare for the first time, which pissed him off even more. Out of all the shitty things that had happened in his life, it shouldn’t be this that was stressing him out so much.

Why was it such a big deal? It was daycare. He’d had this baby for over a month. He shouldn’t be this...whatever. He didn’t want to say attached, but he certainly didn’t feel comfortable leaving her with strangers. It had been one thing for him to let Uraraka watch her. Even if he didn’t exactly like her - even if they weren’t and would never be close - he at least knew her somewhat. He knew she was a hero. He knew she was an annoyingly good person. He didn’t know her well, but she wasn’t some mystery person. Plus, she had watched Yukiko in his apartment.

Besides those times and the one time that Fuyumi had watched her while he slept, Shigaraki had never left Yukiko in someone else’s care. It was freaking him out. Anything could happen and he wouldn’t be there to do anything.

A million scenarios ran through Shigaraki’s mind while he walked silently down the sidewalk.  Judging by his blank expression and hard gaze, no one would’ve known that he was currently picturing every awful thing that could happen to her while he was away at work. He’d learned to perfect the art of thinking about murder without letting people know what was on his mind while he was in prison. Without the hand on his face to hide his expressions, he had figured out other ways to ease his stress via dreaming up shit.

Except this wasn’t relieving his stress. This was making things much worse.

What if the daycare workers turned their back to deal with another kid and Yukiko got ahold of a small toy, stuck it in her mouth, and choked on it? What if she rolled onto her stomach during naptime and suffocated? What if she didn’t nap at all because they wouldn’t hold her? They would pick her up if she cried, right? What if she wouldn’t drink her milk? What if they didn’t feed her when she was hungry? What if they didn’t hold her the exact way she liked to be held? What if another kid hurt her? What if one of daycare workers got frustrated and hurt her somehow if she didn’t stop crying?

(What if Yukiko thought he was abandoning her? Like her mother had? Like everyone had him? He wasn’t going to panic - he was stronger than this - but the thought made his fingers twitch. What if she thought he didn’t care about her? What if she thought he believed she was expendable or was gone for good?)

What if a villain attacked the area? There was no damn way any of those daycare people were capable of actually protecting the kids from a fucking villain. He wouldn’t be there to protect her. He wouldn’t be there to save her. He would be stuck relying on a pro hero to do their job and, even then, as he knew so well, heroes couldn’t save everyone. They couldn’t be everywhere. Sometimes they had to choose who to save.

He would know. He had purposely put heroes in that situation.

His stomach rolled. He looked down and watched Yukiko move her hands on top of the blanket he’d snuggled her in. He couldn’t be for sure, but there was a very high possibility that he had made a parent think the same thing. Hell, he knew he had. He’d orchestrated multiple attacks on UA students, after all, along with the public. His grip on the stroller tightened. His therapist had taught him tricks so he wouldn’t spiral into dark thoughts like that, but he had been right when he said that Yukiko might bring them up again.

“One thing having a child does that many people don’t expect is give you the opportunity to empathize with others in different ways,” his therapist had told him. “There will be things you never would’ve thought about before that suddenly become important. You will look at other things from different angles than before. It won’t always be pleasant.”

It wasn’t pleasant at all. These were things he definitely did not want to think about.

And to think, it had all started because he was taking Yukiko to daycare for the first time. This better not happen every time. Uraraka had told him he would get used to it in time. Her parents had struggled with it as well. She said her mom cried the first few times. He wasn’t going to cry or some other stupid shit - he was more worried that he might say something rude or smart - but it didn’t make him feel better to know others had been in his shoes. He didn’t want to be in these shoes. They sucked.

Once at the daycare, which bore a cheerful but ugly sign outside that made him want to sneer, Shigaraki took a deep breath and looked down at Yukiko again. She seemed okay. So far, she had been good with other people holding her, but it was clear she had preferences now. In the beginning, she hadn’t seemed to care at all who was holding her, like it didn’t matter. Now that it was clear she had options and people were paying attention to her, she let it be known when she did and didn’t want to be held.

To be fair, there weren’t very many times when she didn’t want to be held.

After awkwardly opening the door and pushing the stroller inside (they really should make it an automatic door for parents with strollers, but what did he know, right?), he was once again assaulted by the sight of far too many bright colors. There were pictures hung on the wall drawn by the kids, most of them unidentifiable scribbles. One of them might have been a dog, but the amount of red was distracting. There shouldn’t be that much red around a dog.

He couldn’t remember ever drawing like that as a kid, but surely he had before his quirk manifested. Had Kurogiri or All for One let him draw when they were teaching him how to write and read? Actually, which one had taught him that? It was somewhat concerning that he couldn’t remember that detail, but it had turned out that there were a lot of things he didn’t know or remember. Therapy had brought some of it back to the surface - not always all at once, as it sometimes took time - but there were a few memories he’d blocked out on purpose most likely.

Who the hell had watched him when he was these kids’ age? Had it been Kurogiri? All for One hadn’t been around all the time. He had sometimes played the role of a father, but it was always a distant one except for the moments when it wasn’t. Those moments were necessary in order for Shigaraki to form a deep and loyal attachment to him.

He didn’t want to drop Yukiko off. He didn’t want to let her go. She had to know that he didn’t just keep her so she would have to become attached and dependant on him. No, it was necessary for her to go to daycare in order to learn proper social skills. He certainly hadn’t. Maybe she was too young though. She wasn’t even half a year old. She didn’t have the concept for object permanence yet. She was too little. This was a mistake. It was too soon. He couldn’t-

“Hi!” a woman with orange hair greeted, a huge smile on her face. “Tenko Shimura, right?”

Shigaraki snapped out of his spiral abruptly and stared at her. “Uh, yeah.”

The woman - he had met her when getting the paperwork but he couldn’t remember her name - crouched down in front of the stroller. “And this must be Yukiko. Aw, she has your eyes and that cute little mole. How adorable!” He didn’t know how to respond to that, so he didn’t say anything. Was he supposed to thank her? It was a weird thing to thank someone for when he hadn’t done anything but have sex with a stranger in order to produce a baby. The woman stood back up and eyed him warmly. “Is this your first time?”

“My first time what?”

She was trying to be nice, but the understanding look on her face still put him off. “Dropping her off at daycare. You looked a little…” She waved at his hands, the four fingers of each one gripping the stroller nearly white. “Tense.”

Shigaraki forced his hands to relax. “No, I’m fine.”

“Of course,” the woman replied, still understanding, “all parents are.” He hastily handed her the backpack, as if he was trying to reassure her that he was totally okay. She gazed down at Yukiko. “Do you want to get her out or me-?”

“I’ve got it,” Shigaraki cut in, moving around the front of the stroller to pull the blanket off and unbuckle her. He already didn’t like this woman, even though he knew she was being kind and just doing her job. He hadn’t struggled this hard with Uraraka or the Todoroki family, but then he couldn’t even remember this woman’s name. He was probably acting like an immature idiot. He was probably being dumb. No doubt she would tell the other employees about him - how silly he was, how attached, it was so sweet, blah blah blah. Ugh, it was so annoying.

Once he had Yukiko unbuckled, he awkwardly pulled her into his arms, her foot getting caught on the stroller. It took a few painful seconds of jerking and figuring out what was going on, but then she was against his chest and he was standing up.

And he really, really didn’t want to let her go.

“I promise she’ll be fine,” the woman reassured him. “If you like, we can send you hourly picture updates. We do that for parents...adjusting to the change.”

“I…” Shigaraki swallowed. Why was he acting so weak? It was pathetic. This was nothing. A little over a month ago he hadn’t even wanted to hold her. What the hell was wrong with him? Uraraka did that too and it did relieve some of the confusing stress he felt when he was gone. “Sure, whatever.” The woman held out her hands. They lacked the distinctive pink pads like Uraraka’s that Yukiko liked poking. “She ate like thirty minutes ago, so she’ll probably hungry in a few hours. I changed her after, but she shits like a demon, so good luck with that. She likes to be held upright. She likes the swing, but only in the afternoon-”

“Yukiko will be okay,” the woman interrupted carefully. “I know you don’t think so now, but some time apart will actually be good for both of you.”

Shigaraki tried not to cringe as he slowly handed Yukiko over. He thought things were actually fine, seeing as how she didn’t fight him, but the moment they connected eyes, her lip started to do that dangerous wobble and his heart shot into his throat. Oh no. That wasn’t good. “But she-”

“She will cry,” the woman said as Yukiko started up. “That’s normal. It’s an adjustment. She’s not mad or upset with you. This is something new. She’ll get better in time.”

But would he? Fuck, this was much harder than he’d anticipated. A part of him had kind of thought he’d be relieved to hand her off and get some time to himself, even if it was at work. Now he felt like a shitty father. What kind of monster just dropped their kid off and didn’t care? It was impossible to spend every second with her, but he suddenly felt like he should’ve been capable of that. He shouldn’t feel relieved to not be around her. What had been wrong with him?

“You better go so you don’t run late for work,” the woman told him, bouncing a weakly crying Yukiko in her arms. She hadn’t cried with Uraraka, Fuyumi, or Rei. Maybe there was something wrong with this lady. No, he was being paranoid, trying to see villains in everyone. “We’ve got your number on file.”

“Right.”

Shigaraki knew it was expected of him to say goodbye to Yukiko - probably step forward and kiss her on the forehead or something - but he didn’t (couldn’t) do that. Instead, he took one last look at her and then stiffly walked out the door. A myriad of emotions filtered through him the moment the door shut behind him and the sound of her cries were abruptly cut off: guilt, relief, fear, reluctance, disgruntlement, happiness, and then shame all over again. He just kept walking in the direction of his work and tried not to think about her. That was all he could do to not drive himself mad.

Pulling out his phone, Shigaraki hesitated, but then quickly typed out a text and sent it before he could think about it any longer: This fucking sucks.

As soon as it was sent, he regretted it, wishing he could snatch the text back and scolding himself for allowing himself to be so weak that he would text about it. Uraraka’s reply came back right before he was unlocking the door for the store. She had probably been asleep since she worked the night shift, which made him wince, but she didn’t seem angry. It was hard to tell over text.

I bet, but you’ve got this! She’ll be excited to see you when you get off work. Try not to think about it all day.

I’m gonna think about it all day.

I know. You’ll survive and so will she.

Ugh. This giving a shit thing is not fun.

Aw I think it’s cute how much you care about her. :)

Never use that word in reference to me again.

She sent back a gif of someone putting on sunglasses with the words “Deal with it” stamped across the bottom. It could have been worse. Touya would’ve roasted his ass completely for this moment of weakness, hence why he hadn’t even considered texting him. To be honest, Shigaraki wasn’t sure why he felt compelled to text her when he had been talking about the daycare situation with Fuyumi too. Maybe because Uraraka would be understanding but blunt. It was easier to deal with that than soft and gentle understanding bullshit.

Did it make him feel any better? Honestly, he wasn’t sure. He just wanted to open the store and get this work day over with. Because he had to do it all over again and he wasn’t excited. That was for sure. Yeah, he would survive, but at what cost?

*

A few days later, while Uraraka was on patrol, she felt her phone buzz, alerting her to a text. Since she was on the clock, she didn’t pick it up, but she would take a brief break to eat soon and could check it then. One of the newer sidekicks was with her and she didn’t want to set a bad example. It had taken her years to make the jump to pro and she didn’t want to mess that up by answering a text message. It wasn’t long after that before the call about a hold up at a convenience store crackled over the radio and the two of them were off.

Some nights were slow. Others weren’t.

Tonight was one of the latter. Nothing catastrophic happened, but so far she’d already had to deal with a mugging, an assault, and a domestic abuse case that had, awkwardly, turned out to be roleplaying. Sometimes things got really weird. One of the things she hadn’t anticipated upon becoming a hero would be people actively breaking the law so that heroes would show up and stop them. It was some twisted fantasy thing that heroes, many of them women, got caught up in. It was embarrassing and awkward as hell. Honestly, she might’ve preferred actual criminals.

Luckily, the hold up at the store didn’t take long to end. It turned out the criminal had been using a water gun in order to rob the place. The sidekick did most of the work while she observed. It was a good experience for them. Ryukyu trusted her to guide the younger recruits. She said that she had a very supportive personality that was not often seen in top pro heroes. After the hold-up, was another mugging and then a belligerently drunk woman attacking her ex’s apartment with her quirk and then…

Was it a full moon or something? She couldn’t wait to be back on morning shift soon.

Uraraka wasn’t able to even eat before returning back to the agency. Only when she sat down at her desk to begin typing up reports did she finally pull out her phone to check on the text. She wasn’t as surprised by who it was so much as what the text said.

Shigaraki
You can tell your friend.

Well, that was straight and to the point. No lead up, no pleasantries at the beginning, no explanation for why he was telling her this now in the first place.

Uraraka leaned back in her seat and responded: Sorry tonight has been one thing after another. I hope you’re asleep, although I’m curious about the change of heart.

It turned out that Shigaraki was, in fact, not asleep: Yukiko doesn’t understand that I need sleep in order to work. She smiled a little, even though she felt bad. Before she could say anything, he sent another text. Your friend that keeps texting you about shit - you can tell her. Or whoever asks. It’s been over a month. It’s stupid to think I can keep a lid on this. It was an unreasonable demand.

Oh, well that was considerate of him.

A sense of relief came over Uraraka as she sank in her seat. She hated lying, even if it was for someone else’s sake. She had known it wasn’t bad like usual lying, but it still hadn’t felt good, even more so when she realized how worried she had made her friends. Yes, Deku had gone to extremes and Todoroki had only vaguely apologized when she had talked to him later that night, but it had been out of concern. She had pulled the same stuff when she wasn’t fine after the break-up. Back then, Deku hadn’t been around to help as much, so understood why they had done it.

Thanks and don’t worry. I won’t go blabbing about it to everyone.

Better not. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?

I’m still at work. Like I said, crazy night. Hopefully your day at work won’t be as wild.

If a bunch of gamers try to start a riot, I’m pretty sure I can stop them in my sleep. They’re not exactly scary.

Uraraka grinned and texted back: Idk apparently you were a very scary, dangerous gamer.

Not these nerds.

One of these days, Shigaraki was going to have to come to terms with the fact that he was and had been one of those nerds. It wasn’t this day, but eventually, he’d get there.

Tell Yukiko I said hi and I can’t wait to see her again.

Object permanence remember? But fine.

She thought about telling him to take a video so she would know if he did it or not, but then she was supposed to be writing up reports right now. Besides, he might not indulge her or think she was even weirder than before. She let it go, clicking out of the conversation. By now, she was used to him not actually saying goodbye and could kind of tell when the conversation was over. She needed to get to work; she was so ready to get this morning over with so she could get home and go to bed.

But first, though, she pulled up a contact and hit the call button.

Within seconds, Mina answered the phone, bubbly as ever despite starting her shift in thirty minutes: “Hey, girl! This is unexpected. What’s up?”

“Hey, when’s your next day off?” Uraraka asked.

“Tomorrow actually.”

“Wanna do brunch?”

“Oh, are you finally ready to tell me all the juicy details of what you’ve been up to?” Mina asked curiously. She could hear the grin in her friend’s voice.

Uraraka sighed. “It’s not that juicy, trust me.” It would certainly be unexpected. Mina was still expecting her to say that she was in a secret relationship, but only the first half of that was right. “Same place, same time as usual?”

“Sounds good,” Uraraka replied. “See you then! Have a safe day.”

“You know it. Bye, love!”

This time, when Uraraka ended the conversation, she set her phone aside. Some people actually said goodbye. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to telling Mina, seeing as how she didn’t know how she would react. She would probably have to also tell Tsu when she came back ashore. It would feel good not to lie to them anymore. Plus, she would actually have someone to talk to this about. It wasn’t as weird as it was in the beginning to her, but she knew her friends would make it weird all over again.

How fun.

*

One thing Uraraka hadn’t anticipated was the situation with Shigaraki not just being weird, but also hilarious, which Mina apparently thought it was. Upon realizing that Uraraka was not lying about helping the former League of Villains with his baby and wasn’t hiding a secret, steamy affair, Mina had burst into laughter. She was trying to keep it to a minimum, holding a hand over her mouth, but people were still looking at them curiously.

“I didn’t think it was that funny,” Uraraka muttered as she poked at her food.

“You’re Tomura Shigaraki’s secret babysitter,” Mina pointed out after managing to contain herself. “I mean, yeah, I’m a little concerned and I’ve got like thirty questions, but I trust you. If you’re doing this, then it’s for a good reason.” She wiped the tears from her eyes and took a deep breath, sitting back in her seat. “If I’d found out about this earlier, I would have been way more worried, but this been going on for over a month and you’re fine. Hell, you’re happier than I’ve seen you in months. Maybe this was the distraction you needed.”

“That makes me sound so stupid,” Uraraka complained.

“No!” Mina exclaimed. “That’s not what I meant.” She slapped her face with a hand and shook her head. “You just… I don’t know. Midoriya was right.”

Uraraka sighed. Maybe this was a mistake. She would have been teased less if she had told Mina she was having some wild affair. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Uh, yeah, it is,” Mina replied. “You’ve been secretly helping a man raise a baby - a man that tried to kill us multiple times, in case you forgot.”

“I didn’t forget,” Uraraka muttered, “and he didn’t either. He brings it up a lot like he’s trying to scare me off.”

Mina leaned forward, her golden eyes glittering with excitement, and propped her chin in her hand. “What’s he like?”

Uraraka sat upright. “Oh, well, he’s actually really attentive with Yukiko-”

“No, no, not as a dad - we’ll get to that later.” There was an intense look on Mina’s face that Uraraka knew she would regret. Mina was different from Tsu. Uraraka could’ve told Tsu what was going on and there wouldn’t have been that many questions. She would have taken whatever Uraraka said at face value and left it at that. Mina was different. She liked to gossip and wanted as much information as possible. “What’s he like as himself? C’mon, he only plotted out some of the most well-known villain attacks in history. And now you’re just babysitting his kid like it’s nothing? You have to have a few stories.”

It made Uraraka uncomfortable enough to squirm in her seat. “Well, um…” She thought about him - what he was like and how he acted around her. They’d had a month of this going on and she did have a lot of thoughts about how he behaved. It was nothing like what she’d expected. “He’s actually a huge nerd.”

“What?” Mina laughed. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, like a ton of video games, multiple consoles, a really diverse anime selection,” Uraraka listed off. Actually, Deku owned a lot of the same stuff now that she thought about it. She bet Shigaraki would hate learning that. “Plus, the first few names he came up with for his daughter were all from video games. That reminds me: I need to look up ‘Yukiko’. It’s the name we chose, but I’m almost certain it’s from a game.”

Mina put a shocked hand over her mouth. “Oh my god.”

“And he’s got a dark sense of humor,” Uraraka continued. How many times had he made a comment that caught her off guard? In the beginning, he might’ve been trying to throw her off so she would either leave him alone or wouldn’t be in his life anymore, but by now she knew it was simply him. She could roll with the punches. “He’ll say stuff as a joke just to keep you at an arm’s length, so you have to know when to push back. It’s like he never expects that, although surely Touya must’ve argued with him before. That’s all they do with each other now.”

“Does it turn you away?” Mina asked curiously.

Uraraka shrugged. “He’ll make jokes or references about him being a villain in his past - he’s very self-deprecating - but, if you throw it right back at him, he backs down or acts like it’s a game.” She kind of preferred when it was the latter. At least then he had some spunk in him. Maybe it was spite. “He’s very blunt, like Katsuki. I wouldn’t say he’s nice. It’s more like…” She lifted a hand to her chin and rubbed her bottom lip thoughtfully with her thumb. “He’s capable of being nice, but I feel like he thinks it’s a waste of time. He’ll be nice if he thinks you deserve it or if you’re truly good, but faking nice isn’t worth his time.”

Raising an eyebrow, Mina asked, “Are you saying he’s not a liar?”

“He really isn’t,” Uraraka insisted, shaking her head. “He says whatever’s on his mind - and he doesn’t care if it insults people or not. He’s being honest.”

“That does sound like Bakugou,” Mina put in.

“He’s really not that bad?” Uraraka said thoughtfully. “Considering everything he’s done, especially to us, he’s actually pretty normal. I mean, he works at a video game store, for god’s sake. Does he get annoying? Sure, so do I, but I wasn’t going to let him deal with this on his own and it just sorta...spiraled from there.”

Mina shook her head. “You’re too nice.”

Uraraka rubbed the side of her face. She was so tired of people telling her that. She wasn’t too nice. She was just the right amount of nice. If she had seen other people ignore Shigaraki clearly in need, she wanted to believe that she would have stepped up to help him, but she knew that she probably wouldn’t have, which made her feel bad. She wanted to be good, but being around Shigaraki and Yukiko and watching her for him no longer felt like it had anything to do with that. It was just a part of her life.

“He’s not a bad person,” Uraraka muttered, “and he’s a good dad even if he isn’t completely attached.”

“You really do care, don’t you?” Mina asked. Before Uraraka could protest, Mina added, “I’m not arguing with you over this, but… Do you remember in our third year at UA? You and Shigaraki got into this massive fight while he was in the League. It was originally with Midoriya, but then you jumped in and-”

“Of course I remember,” Uraraka cut in. She didn’t want to think about it, much less talk about it. The whole memory just made things weird. Yes, she had been in a one on one fight with Shigaraki before, but she wasn’t sure if he actually remembered it and she didn’t want to bring it up. The whole point of him doing civilian stuff now was that his villain past didn’t hinder him. If she brought it up, then she would only hurt his progress.

“He almost killed you,” Mina said, “but now that I look back on it…” She tilted her head. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so happy even then. He took you seriously. He considered you a threat. He went all out. Other people thought you were just this cute girl, but he took you seriously.”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “If that’s the only criteria for me to be kind to people…”

“C’mon, you can’t say I’m wrong,” Mina told her. “Yeah, you were terrified and you were shaking and bleeding, but you won and you were elated. You literally brought a building down on him. I remember the look in your eyes.” Bakugou had said she was glowing - that it was one of the first moments he knew he liked her, maybe even started falling in love with her. That triumph, that strength, that excitement. Shigaraki probably didn’t think fondly of the fight if he did remember. “Midoriya freaked out so hard when Shigaraki disintegrated the floor right under you.”

“Good thing I can float,” Uraraka countered dryly.

Mina snickered. “You could say he swept you off your feet.”

“Stop that!” Uraraka scolded. The last thing she needed was for anyone to assume that there was anything actually going on between her and Shigaraki. It was absurd and it would probably make him uncomfortable if he found out.

“I just want to make sure you’re good,” Mina finished, sounding serious again after teasing her. “You’re one of my best friends and I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“He’s not going to hurt me,” Uraraka assured her. It was an odd thing to say, considering who she was talking about, but she really didn’t think he would. At least not physically. He wasn’t the only one trying to keep people at an arm’s length. She had to learn how to care about people without letting them in too much. One of these days, he wouldn’t need her around anymore to help with Yukiko and he probably wouldn’t want her around so much. It was simply an inevitability. Shouto had thought something similar about Touya, even if his big brother was back in his family’s lives.

“Good,” Mina said decisively, nodding her head once, “because if he does, I’ll have to kick his ass, even if he is a single dad.”

Uraraka laughed a little and smiled. “Thanks, Mina, for everything.”

“Hey, it’s my job as a best friend to be supportive of all your insane, weird adventures and relationships,” Mina proclaimed cheerily. Then, she winked. “Besides, I’m used to your questionable taste in men by now.”

“Mina, it’s not like that!”

“You just can’t help yourself when it comes to bad boys with secret soft sides,” Mina teased.

“Oh my god, I don’t know why I told you.”

Mina playfully stuck out her tongue. It felt really good to tell someone about this and not be judged for it. She knew not everyone would react the same way as her. Bakugou, for one, could never find out. Luckily she hadn’t talked with him since their last joint mission during villain attack almost three months ago, so she didn’t think he would. Iida would probably be concerned. Tsu might not like it either. Still, for just an hour or two, she had someone on her side and it was nice and a relief.

A thought popped into her head. “Oh shit, I just remembered something. I wanted to tell you before, but Shigaraki didn’t want people to know I was helping him, so I kept it to myself.”

“Oh?” Mina leaned forward. “I’m super curious now.”

Uraraka’s cheeks turned pinker than normal as she admitted, “I kinda accidentally saw him nearly naked?”

Mina howled with laughter, completely unrestrained and uncaring that people were looking over at them. “The strangest things happen to you! How much did you blush? How much did he blush? Why was he naked? You need to tell me everything.”

“He was wearing a towel and he practically ran into his bedroom, but it was still unexpected and I almost died, I swear.” A wave of relief washed over Uraraka even as she hid her face in her hands. She’d been sitting on that embarrassing moment for a month without telling someone. She needed someone to commiserate with though and Mina was the perfect friend to do that with. She’d make it funny. That was what she needed right now.

Her phone buzzing distracted her and she pulled it out of her pocket to look at it. Mina calmed down enough to peer at it and ask, “Oh, is it him?”

“No, he’s at work right now,” Uraraka replied offhandedly as she unlocked her phone. She caught the raised eyebrow and suspicious look on Mina’s face. “I mean, I assume he is. He switched to morning shift so it would work with the daycare’s hours.” She definitely didn’t like the way Mina was looking at her right now, but she at least didn’t say anything about it. “It’s actually Deku.”

Mina sat back. “That’s not nearly as fun.” She waved a hand. “Go on. I’m gonna use the restroom real quick.”

When Mina got up and walked to the back of the restaurant, Uraraka read Deku’s text: Hey, I’m leaving in an hour or so, but I just wanted to apologize again. I don’t want to leave with something in between us. I should’ve trusted you and never violated your privacy.

Uraraka sighed and smiled faintly. It was just like Deku to do this. He had apologized to her already, but they hadn’t had the chance to see each other since he followed her to Shigaraki’s apartment. It was a wonder he had been able to stay in Japan for this long. Due to his quirk, he was able to work throughout the country and come back to stay in town most of the time. Not tied to an agency, he went where he was needed, but so often that led him to work out of the country where Uraraka missed him.

She didn’t want him to leave with a sour feeling between them either.

You should have, but I know you were worried about me and you felt guilty for not being here before. I love you, Deku. I can’t stay mad at you for long.

Thank you so much! I’ve been kinda freaking out tbh.

But don’t do something like that again. I thought Shigaraki was going to have a conniption.

How mad was he after we left?

He was worked up worse than Katsuki in our first year.

Geez I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Nothing you can’t handle though. You’re a hero!

Uraraka giggled and texted back, You big dork. He actually gave me the go ahead to tell people about it if I’m asked. I think he even kinda apologized?

Whaaat? You got him to apologize? Lol

Well he said it was an “unreasonable demand” to not tell anyone. That’s big for him.

Uraraka knew that was about as good as she was going to get from Shigaraki, but she didn’t mind. She could tell it was a lot for him and he really was making progress. They texted often enough throughout the week and she saw him enough to see him slowly becoming more comfortable with parenthood, asking for help, and maybe even her. She paused, considering her next text. It probably didn’t need to be said, but she thought it was a good idea anyway.

You know he might not message you, right?

Deku took a minute to reply back. Maybe he was busy doing something since he was at the airport, but she had a feeling that he was thinking about her words. I know, he finally responded. I’ll accept it if he doesn’t. I shouldn’t try to barge my way into his life. Someone has to want help in order to receive it sometimes.

He could’ve been frustrated since Shigaraki had asked her for help but seemed even more resistant to the idea of him, but Deku wasn’t. He had learned that, no matter how much he wanted to help a person, sometimes they didn’t want him to help them. It was a hard lesson for a hero to learn and even more difficult to accept. Letting a person drown when there was so much they could do to bring them back to shore felt like a failure and went against everything they knew as heroes.

Uraraka had pushed her friends away when they wanted to help her. Bakugou had pushed Deku away when he had tried to help him so many years ago. Todoroki had pushed back until Deku broke through. They all did it in one shape or form at some point in their life. It turned out that, despite his villainous history, Shigaraki wasn’t completely different.

But he reached out to you and that’s a start. I’m glad he did. For both of you. I think in a weird way this helped you too.

Uraraka’s stomach did an uncomfortable flip. She could never help it when the conversation started to veer in this direction. If you’re going to bring up Katsuki, don’t.

I’m not. I’m just happy to see you doing better. And you’re really shining at your agency!

Aw now you’re starting to sound like Tenya.

Speaking of him, have you told him about Shigaraki?

Uraraka cringed a little. No I haven’t.

Are you?

If it comes up. I don’t think he’ll approve. Shouto doesn’t. I think he’s upset with me for keeping it a secret for so long.

He understands why you did it. He’s just protective.
Tenya probably won’t like it either, but I think he’ll understand too. You know how passionate he is about recovery. You’re just being a little more active in the process.

I expect a lecture either way.

“Hey, sorry that took so long,” Mina said, sliding back into her seat. “Someone recognized me and actually wanted to talk about hero work instead of gossip.”

Uraraka looked up from her phone. “Oh, that’s good. I’m almost done, by the way.”

Mina waved her off. “Nah, don’t worry about me. Tell Secret Agent Man that I said hi and he better get me something from his trip abroad this time. I want to look worldly.” She waved over their waiter to order another drink, not bothered at all by Uraraka’s continued texting.

You should. ;) I’ll text you when I land! It’s going to be a long flight. Hopefully I get some sleep.

I’ll miss you <3
Mina says hi btw and to get her a gift

Miss you too. And Mina! I’ll get you both a souvenir this time. Maybe I can get something for Yukiko! You think that would be ok?

Sure. Have a safe flight!

With the conversation done, Uraraka clicked out of it and then slid her phone back into her jacket pocket. She felt better after having spoken with Deku. Even though they didn’t talk about what had happened, she didn’t think they needed to anymore. It had happened and it was over. They knew the truth about what she’d been getting up to, and honestly, she was happy. She didn’t like lying and she wasn’t good at it. Shigaraki knew that now. After a few days to cool down, she didn’t think he was mad about it anymore. It was what it was. A weird world where he had to raise his child to the best of his ability, even if it meant a little embarrassment.

She could handle that and so could he. Life wasn’t so bad at all. Things felt good.

Chapter 13: I get by with a little help from my, uh, acquaintance

Notes:

This marks one of my favorite scenes that I've written for this fic so far

Chapter Text

I had to leave work early to pick up Yukiko from daycare. She got sick. Puked straight out of horror movie.

Oh no! Did you take her to the doctor?

Yeah she has an ear infection. How can that make a baby throw up so much?

I don’t know. Poor baby! :( Did they give you medicine for her?

Yeah but she doesn’t like it. Good thing she can’t run or I’d be chasing her. She won’t sleep or eat though.

How long has it been?

She ate maybe once and she’s tired but won’t stop crying and pulling at her ear.

Want me to come over?

Shigaraki swore under his breath when Uraraka’s text came through. He had been talking to Fuyumi about it earlier, but didn’t want to keep her up late since she worked early in the morning. His intention wasn’t to get Uraraka to come over. Dealing with Yukiko for the past ten hours had been rough. His therapist had said that talking with people about his struggles would give him a sense of relief, even if nothing could be done. Uraraka was...easy to talk to, especially about things like this.

Now she was asking him if he wanted her to come over and he didn’t want her to think that he was asking for more help. He had thought that she might be at work and venting would give him a brief moment of respite, so her quick response caught him off guard. Did he want her to come over? No, he didn’t think he did. Yukiko’s redder than normal eyes and tear-stained cheeks, along with her weak cries, suggested otherwise. She had a fever as well. Every time he touched her forehead, he felt his nerves get the best of him.

I’m actually getting off work now. I can stop by to give you a small break.

You’re too nice. People might take advantage of you.

I never do anything I don’t want to do.

To be honest, Shigaraki wasn’t sure how to take that. She had done a lot for him. Despite the fact that Yukiko was now in daycare so he had time apart from her, Uraraka still came over on the weekend to spend time with her. He usually took that time to run errands, visit his probation officer, or see his therapist. He had moved his schedule around to make things easier. Sometimes though, he got stuff done around the house while she was there. That meant they basically sort of spent time together. She didn’t seem to mind either way.

If you want, he finally managed to text back, feeling edgy. Yukiko would be happy to see Uraraka. Maybe she would stop crying, if only for a little while. This was for her, not him.

Do YOU want me to come over? Uraraka reiterated.

Shigaraki hesitated before replying, Yukiko probably wants you to.

There, Uraraka would like that. All those times she teased about Yukiko telling on him or how she was able to talk with her - it was along those lines. He bet she was smiling at her phone right now. She was so cheesy. The stray thought that she was easy to manipulate came to mind, but he shoved it on a shelf and pretended it didn’t exist. He didn’t need to think like that.

:) Anything for her. Give me 30 minutes. You need anything?

No

Ok. See you soon!

Shigaraki sighed as he sank back in the couch and set his phone aside, rubbing his face with his hand. Yukiko was crying in the swing in the corner. As much as he hadn’t wanted to touch it, he knew he was being childish, just as Uraraka had said. His therapist had pointed out that people gave gifts to new parents all the time. Yes, his came from an unconventional person, but All Might didn’t mean him any harm - and Shigaraki had used the money that the former Symbol of Peace had set up for him.

Normally Yukiko liked the swing at night. She preferred it for her afternoon nap, but he’d gotten desperate when she wouldn’t even take the usual nap. And she wasn’t a fan of the swing now. He had needed a break from holding her, having to take a piss, and she had not been happy about it. Guilt had eaten away at him as he’d texted Uraraka and let Yukiko cry, but he needed that time to himself, even if it was only for a few minutes. Now that he was done and he knew there was someone on the way to relieve him, he dragged himself over to the swing and picked her up.

When he picked her up, she practically screamed, piercing his ears, but then quieted down again when he awkwardly pulled her squirming body against his chest. The blanket was wrapped around her legs and he had to maneuver it around to fix it. After some fighting, she was comfortable, but still making a weird whimpering sound. All he could do was hope she didn’t puke on him again. He’d gone through two shirts already. She probably wouldn’t be able to puke even if she wanted since she was refusing to drink anything.

The thirty minutes flew by faster than he anticipated. Before Shigaraki knew it, as he carried Yukiko around the apartment for the millionth time, there was a knock on his door and he heard Uraraka’s cheery voice call out, “It’s your pro babysitter!”

This might be my worst nightmare, Shigaraki thought as he walked to the door. He peered through the peephole and saw Uraraka. She was in shorts, t-shirt, and jacket with what looked like some sort of pro hero merch hat. Oh, was that an Ingenium hat? Yeah, it was a nightmare, especially when he realized she was wearing a Deku jacket.

The moment he opened the door, it was like Yukiko could sense who was standing in front of them. She made a pitiful whining sound that probably tugged at Uraraka’s heart. Uraraka’s mouth had been opened to say hi, but then Yukiko made that noise and her face just dropped in an instant. For a moment he thought she might cry, but he supposed she was stronger than that.

“Oh, baby girl,” Uraraka cooed sweetly. She stepped inside and held out her hands, glancing at him for permission. Every time she took Yukiko from him, she gave him that look. He wasn’t sure why she did it, but it always gave him a sense of relief and made it easier for him to hand Yukiko over. He did so now and Uraraka left out a soft gasp as he reached over her shoulder to shut the door. “Oh, you’re so hot.”

“Last time I checked her temp, it was a hundred and two,” Shigaraki told her.

Uraraka felt Yukiko’s forehead with her palm. “She might be a little over that. I can’t really tell.” She walked further into the apartment, softly swaying side-to-side like she was slow-dancing. “Have you given her a bath? That might help her feel a little more comfortable at least.”

Shigaraki frowned. “No, I didn’t think that.” He should have. He should have done that hours ago. It made sense. How had he not thought to do that? “Here, I can-”

“No, I’ve got it,” Uraraka cut in. He furrowed his brow. So presumptuous. “When’s the last time you ate?”

After thinking back on it for a moment, Shigaraki said, “Noon,” and his stomach chose that exact moment to answer as well, making an uncomfortable growling sound that made Uraraka giggle-snort. He felt betrayed by his own body. Forgetting to eat had been a common habit of his as far as he could remember. There were days when Kurogiri would bring him food and he’d promise to eat it, only for it to go untouched because he got too absorbed in a game and he had to beat it, he had to win, he had to get a perfect score or run or-

It wasn’t like that anymore - he was much better about taking care of himself - but having a child tended to make him focus on her and forget everything else. Unless his stomach reminded him that he was hungry, he could very well easily forget because he was only thinking about her. He might remember that he needed to eat when he was feeding her, but then he’d forget and she always woke up from a nap whenever he tried to eat. It was a vicious cycle. It was like she wanted his food and was mad that she didn’t yet have the teeth to eat it.

“Get yourself something to eat,” Uraraka told him. “Are her things for the bath in there?”

“Not all of it,” Shigaraki replied. She nodded and took Yukiko into the bathroom while he went to the bedroom. He grabbed a towel and a different sleeper. He’d been forced to change her a few times since she got sick, but he might as well get her a new one. The shampoo was in the bathroom already.

By the time he walked out of his room, he could hear the water running in the bathroom and light humming. Uraraka’s gentle voice echoed in the small room, making her singing sound better than it did. He wasn’t sure if she wasn’t self-conscious or if she just didn’t care, but Yukiko seemed to like her singing for some reason. That was one thing he wasn’t going to do no matter what. He did not sing - ever.

“There, that probably feels good, doesn’t it?” Uraraka was saying as he stepped into the bathroom. It was tiny, just barely big enough for the tub, toilet, and sink. It definitely wasn’t meant for multiple people to be in. Uraraka was kneeling in front of the tub, her elbows on the edge, with Yukiko lying propped up in the baby tub. It was hard to tell because she was a baby and crying and smiling seemed to be her only two modes of communication, but she seemed...content. She was lying still, one of her hands opening and closing in the water, and no longer crying.

Shigaraki set the towel and sleeper aside. “If you need anything-”

“It’s a bath,” Uraraka interrupted, peering up at him. “I’ve got it. Go eat. We’ll be out in a minute.”

By now, he was somewhat used to her not backing down - or maybe it was meeting his own stubbornness with hers. She could blow right over him and not even blink. It wasn’t meant to insult him or make him feel like he was being walked on. He knew she wasn’t. It was just...easier to deal with him that way. Plus, now that he had thought about it, he was really fucking hungry, so he didn’t feel like arguing with her about it. She was right - it was a bath - and there was little more he could do for Yukiko than watch Uraraka gently wash her down with a hand towel.

Not feeling up to cooking, Shigaraki heated up some leftovers and quickly scarfed them down. Sometimes he wasn’t in a particular mood for eating despite his hunger, so he didn’t feel the urge to eat slowly and savor the flavor. All he needed was sustenance. Even with Uraraka there to give him a hand, he still felt like he was on a time clock when it came to eating and he needed to be done before she got out of the bath.

He was throwing away the empty carton when Uraraka walked out of the bathroom with Yukiko in the clean sleeper and announced, “She’s so tired. Hopefully, the bath helped lower her temperature a little at least.” Swaddled up in her arms, Yukiko still looked groggy and out of it, but she also somehow looked relieved. Not for the first time, he wished she could tell him what was wrong, but he knew that once she was capable of communication, he might miss the days when all she did was babble here and there. “You wanna get some rest? It’s probably been a long day.”

“No,” Shigaraki said flatly. She gave him an unamused look. “I mean, yes, it has been a long day, but I don’t feel like sleeping. I just…” He waved his hands around. “I just need some time to myself.” His gaze fell on Yukiko. Why did saying that out loud make him feel so guilty? He honestly hadn’t minded large groups of people too much while growing up, but he always needed time alone after. He shouldn’t need time alone from his own kid. Was there something wrong with him? “That sounds selfish, doesn’t it?”

“Not at all,” Uraraka replied, sounding genuine. She always sounded like that though, which sometimes made him suspicious. Then again, she wasn’t a good liar. He knew that now. She had done what she could on her end to keep this...arrangement a secret, but she sucked at it. Maybe one day he would think it was entertaining, but right now, he wasn’t a fan. When he had told Touya about his little brother and Midoriya showing up at his apartment, he had laughed almost as hard as he had when Shigaraki had first shown up with Yukiko in his arms.

While Uraraka meandered over to the couch, he went back into his room to change into sweatpants and a t-shirt. He didn’t care what it made him look like to her. It was after midnight and it was his apartment. He’d changed shirts due to Yukiko’s projectile vomit (maybe that was her quirk, how horrifying), but he was still in his khakis from work and he hated these damn things. He just kept forgetting to change out of them.

When he came back into the main room, he didn’t see them at first, but then Uraraka’s hand popped up from the couch. He stopped and stared until he walked around the couch and saw what had happened. Instead of sitting up, Uraraka had laid down long-ways on the couch, her head resting against a flat pillow. Yukiko was lying on her chest, fast asleep, with a tight grip on Uraraka’s shirt. It was the most peaceful he had seen her all day.

“Uh, well, this wasn’t exactly what I planned, but…” Uraraka awkwardly shrugged her shoulders as much as she could while laying down on the couch. “Almost as soon as I got in this position, she fell asleep. Sorry?”

“It’s fine,” he said, and he meant it. He was just relieved she was finally asleep. There was no way in hell he was going to disturb her now. However, that meant Uraraka would have to either lie on his couch for either however long Yukiko slept or when she had to go home, or if they wanted to be brave, move her and risk waking her up. She looked so comfortable at this moment, nestled up on top of Uraraka. “Unless you want me to move her.”

“No, no, she’s fine,” Uraraka replied quickly. “I’m fine.” The main issue was that he had wanted to play video games and her feet were currently where he normally sat. He could grab a pillow and sit on the floor… His eyes must have stayed on the video game console for too long because she followed his gaze and got the hint. “Oh, I can just-” She scrunched up her legs so that her knees were bent, putting her in the position of a sit up and opening space for him to sit on the couch. “If you’re okay with that? I swear my feet don’t smell.”

Shigaraki eyed the spot on the couch. Half of his mind told him it was a dumb idea, but could not supply an exact reason why except it was too...personal. The other half of his mind, the part that had been with Yukiko all day and felt like he was at his wit’s end, didn’t give a shit. Contrary to what people might think, the second half almost always won out, especially these days. He didn’t have the time, energy, or desire to care as much about things that made him uncomfortable. He just got over them.

After picking out a game, he switched the discs in the console, turned on the television, and grabbed a controller. “You mind if I turn off the lights?” Shigaraki wasn’t sure why he asked, seeing as how he planned on doing it no matter what she said, but Uraraka simply shook her head. He turned them off and then wandered back over to sit down on the couch. Her toes bumped against his thigh and she muttered an apology as she did her best to bend her legs further so that she wasn’t touching him. It was probably uncomfortable.

“Oh,” Uraraka said as the game started up, “this is an old game.”

“You’ve played it?” Shigaraki asked, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes.

She shook her head. “No, but one of my friends has and I watched him. It’s kind of relaxing - watching other people play video games.”

“That sounds boring,” Shigaraki pointed out as he quickly set it up. He’d played it before, but that didn’t make it any less entertaining. The one good thing about working in a video game store was that he got to try a lot of new games right when they came out, but sometimes an old classic was better, especially after a long ass day. He didn’t want to particularly think or struggle, just do something that he liked in order to wind down.

“No, it’s like watching a movie,” Uraraka said. “I like movies.”

Shigaraki snorted. “I bet you like those cheesy, dumb romcoms.”

“Sometimes,” Uraraka admitted, “but I like action and scary movies the best. They’re way more fun.”

“Scary movies, huh?” Shigaraki gave her a weird look. “That’s surprising. I didn’t peg you for the type.”

Uraraka smirked. “I’m full of surprises.”

“Hm, I’ve always hated surprises,” Shigaraki said blandly before turning back to the screen. He caught a glimpse of her face - some soft look that he didn’t like - and went to ignoring her. Besides being surprised by the fact that he had a daughter, the last major surprise he’d had was when he had found out the truth about All for One and his past. It hadn’t been fun to learn that he had been manipulated and used for nearly his entire life.

Before starting the game, Shigaraki set the controller down and tugged off his gloves. He could’ve done it earlier when she had first arrived, but he’d still been frazzled over Yukiko not sleeping or eating. He tossed them onto the dinged up coffee table and flexed his fingers. He didn’t need them most of the time, not even with Yukiko. The habit of using four fingers would always be something that lingered in him. He did it while wearing gloves too. Using all five simply made it a lot easier to carry her, but he hated wearing them for so long. He needed a break from them too.

“You’re not used to wearing gloves, are you?” Uraraka asked in a guarded tone. She must have noticed him wearing them often and become curious. To be honest, he was more surprised that it had taken her this long to ask him about them than he was about her asking.

Shigaraki picked up the controller and started the game in earnest. “No, I didn’t get them until after my release. They had me wear quirk inhibitor braces while I was in prison.”

“The whole time?” She sounded kind of...upset about it.

“Yup, couldn’t have me disintegrating the bars and orchestrating an escape,” Shigaraki replied without missing a beat. It didn’t bother him as much as one might’ve thought. The reasoning behind it was logical. Touya had been forced to wear them too, but he also had to be given time to use his quirk here and there so it wouldn’t eat away at him. “I couldn’t use my quirk for years.”

Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip. He could feel her tensed up next to him. “That’s…”

“Normal for prison,” Shigaraki finished for her as he played the game. “Sure, it would’ve been nice to be able to defend myself a little more, but it was what it was.” He had his pinky fingers held out as he held the controller in order to play. She had to hold things like that as well in order to keep from taking away their gravity. “The gloves were made mostly upon the request of my therapist when I got out on parole. He thinks they’re a good idea or some bullshit.”

“Are they?” Uraraka asked.

“I’m more along the lines of ‘some bullshit’,” Shigaraki answered, “but they keep my parole officer happy. Everyone seems to think that I’m somehow less dangerous or likely to cause trouble if I get in the habit of wearing them.”

“So they don’t do you any good?”

Shigaraki sighed. He was mostly focused on the game, but the conversation took care of the rest of his mind that was fighting against the idea of drifting off. It wasn’t a bad one or even a boring one. No one had ever really asked about the gloves. Touya had taken one look at them and shook his head. Even without saying anything, Shigaraki had known what he was thinking: the gloves were just another form of shackles, like the quirk inhibitor braces. Maybe they were. Some days he thought Touya was right; others he thought it felt good to use all five fingers.

“They would’ve been more helpful when I was younger, maybe even when you knew me before,” Shigaraki explained in a distant voice. Concentrate on the game. It wasn’t a bad conversation, but it could get there if he wasn’t careful. He believed she’d stop asking questions the moment she sensed that he wasn’t comfortable, but they weren’t there yet, just toeing the line. “Not that I couldn’t control my quirk, but I…” Ah, she knew. What was the point of hiding it? To save face? He had very little, especially with her. “I lost control of myself - temper, insecurity, you name it - and, before I knew it, I destroyed so much dumb shit. I hurt people too. I’m over it.”

He’d done a lot more than that during some of his temper tantrums. A lot more.

Uraraka hesitated and started to ask, “Could you…?” but then she didn’t finish the question. He had a feeling he knew what she had planned on asking and he was relieved she didn’t. He wouldn’t have answered. A lot had been revealed during his trial, but there were some hazy days for him. He couldn’t remember the trial clearly. A part of that had to do with being a little drugged up to keep him mostly calm and sedated. The other part was trauma - or so his therapist said.

She didn’t speak up again for a while, laying there silently and watching him play the video game. He didn’t speak up either, becoming totally absorbed in the game. The only time he was pulled out of it was whenever she would shift on the couch. At first, it was only a little, but as the game progressed, she began to squirm even more. The position she was in wasn’t comfortable. It’d be a lot better if she could stretch out or move, but he was sitting on the end and Yukiko was passed the fuck out on her. It was the deepest sleep she’d been in for days.

“I don’t see why she’s sleeping on you,” Shigaraki grumbled, glowering at her with no real heat in his eyes. “I tried doing that with her.”

“Ah, well-” Was Uraraka blushing? “I’ve got more… cushion.”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. “What?”

She didn’t answer, pressing her lips together into a thin line. He dropped his gaze down from her face to Yukiko again. She was lying on her stomach, her head resting on… He coughed and jerked his head back to look at the screen. Yeah, okay, that was stupid. In his defense, it was late and he had been up for a long time. Luckily he didn’t have work tomorrow. He didn’t say anything else and played the game. Hopefully, she’d forget that he had opened his dumb mouth and said anything.

Only when she shifted her legs again did he sigh and say, “Stretch them out.”

“Eh?” Uraraka practically squeaked. “But-”

“Just do it,” Shigaraki snapped lightly. “Your moving around keeps distracting me.”

“Geez, sorry, I’m only acting as a bed for your baby,” Uraraka mumbled. Slowly she lifted her feet and then, after a moment of hesitation, she stretched her legs out. He lifted his arms slightly so her feet and calves could rest in his lap and then dropped them down so that his forearms were on her shins. She tensed for a moment before relaxing. It was a much more comfortable position for her, even if it was weird as hell. He didn’t care. He just wanted her to stop moving around. What if she woke up Yukiko? “That’s a lot better. Thanks.”

“Whatever,” Shigaraki mumbled, not taking his eyes away from the television.

About fifteen minutes later, a spot in the game came up where the cut scenes took more time than usual. He set the controller aside and leaned back on the couch, taking a deep breath. He felt a lot fucking better and Yukiko was still out like a light. Uraraka had stopped squirming around, but as they watched the cut scenes, he got the sense that she still had something on her mind. That might’ve partially been why she kept moving. If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel her thinking about something, but this time, he didn’t prompt her. If she had something she wanted to say or ask him, she could do it herself.

“You ever wonder what Yukiko’s quirk will be?” Uraraka finally blurted out.

“Pretty sure it’s either shitting or puking,” Shigaraki responded. Uraraka rolled her eyes. “I guess, sometimes, yeah. I still don’t know what Himura’s quirk was and mine…” This time, he was the one to shift uncomfortably in his seat on the couch. “I don’t remember much, but I was told about them by my attorney and prison therapist. Most people inherit quirks similar to their parents’. I didn’t.”

So no one knew what to prepare for when his quirk did manifest. No one knew the horrific damage he would cause, all because his parents wouldn’t let him eat a candy. He was just a kid. He hadn’t known any better. He hadn’t realized the extent of his quirk. They found out that day just what he was capable of.

“I got one somewhat similar to my mom’s,” Uraraka said, “but admittedly a lot stronger - and she doesn’t have to do the same ritual as me to deactivate it.” She held her pinky finger up as she rested her hand on Yukiko’s back. “It took a lot of trial and error to figure that out. It...honestly wasn’t good.” He peered at her sideways. Her other hand was stroking Yukiko’s soft, brown hair. “I was five and one of the last kids in my class to get my quirk. I remember being afraid that I didn’t have one, but I knew the pads on my fingers had to be good for something. The moment it manifested, I wanted to use it all the time.”

“Running around floating everything you could get your hands on?” Shigaraki prompted.

Everything ,” Uraraka stressed, “until I wanted to make my turtle fly.” He raised an eyebrow. Oh no, he knew where this was going. What went up must come down...unless you didn’t know what made things come down. “My parents were already having issues with me floating things in the house and not returning their gravity to them. I didn’t know how to bring it back. It’s a wonder I didn’t touch them, but they turned it into a game where people were off limits until we figured it out. People did not include animals.”

Shigaraki paused the game and set the controller aside. He needed a small break from it anyway to stretch out his fingers so they wouldn’t cramp up. “You killed a turtle.”

“My parents told me he went to stay with someone else,” Uraraka replied, biting her lip. “I believed them - or at least I wanted to believe them - for about a day. I knew he was dead, but… I didn’t really think about it that much until later as I learned more about my quirk. It must’ve been...painful. I still try not to think about it. The concept was difficult for me to understand. Quirks were supposed to make people happy. They saved the day, not…”

Kill things. Quirks weren’t supposed to kill things. Shigaraki wondered: how much of his trial had she seen? While it had been public, many of the darker details were left for the courtroom, like the pictures from his childhood home. The only people to see those had been the people there. Any documentaries about him and the League were still in the dark about that, although there was plenty of speculation. They knew about as much as he had about that time as he did growing up.

Was she trying to relate to him? Was she worrying about Yukiko because she knew what had happened when his quirk had manifested? It irritated him - there was no way their situations were similar - but he didn’t say anything, only watched her in the dark room, tv lights cascading over her face. She wasn’t looking at him though, focused on Yukiko. He struggled to make out her expression even with that light.

“Can you imagine? Objects floating around the house constantly? They put gloves on me, but I kept taking them off because I didn’t like them.” Uraraka let out a sigh. “And then I figured out I could use my quirk on myself and I wanted to fly too. It was stupid. Even after the turtle, I did it, but things went from fun and whimsical to bad. It made me so sick. I puked almost instantly, but I couldn’t deactivate it. The only reason my parents hadn’t taken me to a quirk specialist yet was because they were so expensive and it was one of the worst years for their business.”

What would Yukiko’s quirk be like? Would she take after him or Himura? Would it be as dangerous as his? Would she require special gloves as well to keep her and others safe? He supposed he should worry about her accidentally killing him or someone else, as he had done his parents, but he didn’t. It was odd. His parents had probably done the same thing and look where that got them.

“Quirks with ‘release’ deactivations are still somewhat uncommon, but my parents had never heard of such a thing twenty years ago,” Uraraka continued. Twenty years? Had it been that long since she’d got her quirk? She was still quite young, a handful of years younger than him, and she looked younger than that, but twenty years was a lifetime for some people. His parents had been about her age now when his quirk manifested. “I got sick repeatedly, but my quirk wouldn’t deactivate until I passed out at the hospital. I was dehydrated, weak, and scared. I never wanted to use my quirk again. I wore gloves for months. Even worse, I felt guilty because I knew going to the hospital was expensive and it put my parents even more in the hole. I was devastated. I kept thinking about the turtle. That could’ve been me. I was afraid of my quirk.”

“How long did it take for you to use it again?” Shigaraki asked.

Uraraka stilled completely. “About half a year, maybe a little longer. Wearing gloves in the summer got so miserable and I wanted to use my quirk like everyone else. All the other kids were having fun learning their quirks and there I was hiding mine constantly. My parents were so worried and I didn’t want to stress them out.” She didn’t wear gloves nearly as much he did. She did the four finger touch, even when she was handling Yukiko. He had thought to ask her if she needed any, but she didn’t seem to mind the hindrance. It was a part of her life and it always would be, just like his. “I told my dad I wanted to use my quirk again, so he sat me down, had me touch a toy, and repeat every word he looked up that might do the trick.”

“No quirk specialist?”

A small smile quirked onto her lips for only a second and then it was gone. “No quirk specialist. We figured out things on our own, even if it meant hours of hard work. I might’ve got sick from using my quirk for so long, but we came up with the answer in the end. The day was saved. I could use my quirk again.” Her gaze landed on the gloves he’d set aside. She still hadn’t looked at him. “I had to keep using gloves for a while until I got in the habit of using only four of my fingers. It was a difficult lesson to learn at that age. I had to constantly think about it.”

“I’m sure I just disintegrated everything in my path,” Shigaraki said without thinking. “I probably didn’t care.”

Her eyes finally went back to him and they locked in on each other’s gazes. He hadn’t exactly meant to say that out loud, but the moment the thought came to him, they spilled out of his mouth. She considered him, but he didn’t think what he saw in her eyes was pity. There wasn’t any understanding or that sadness people looked at him with during his trial that had driven him up a wall. She looked kind of tired, maybe even accepting. It was what it was. It had happened. It was done with. He couldn’t go back and fix it. She must have been tired of not being able to fix things or save people. It wasn’t her problem. She’d probably just been born.

And everything that came after… Ah, well, he was working through it, as his therapist would say.

“Did you wear the gloves often before or when you got Yukiko?” Uraraka asked curiously.

“I wore them to work usually, but that was it,” Shigaraki said. “I didn’t like it, but it was...nice being able to grab and hold things normally. I’d never done that, not even with the inhibitor braces on.” He reached over to touch Yukiko, but left his hand to hover over her before pulling it back. “I think a part of me was frightened that I would accidentally hurt her. I’d get too tired or frustrated or angry - and I would slip up and she would be- She would be gone and it would be my fault. I wouldn’t hurt her on purpose, but what if I-?”

“You wouldn’t hurt her,” Uraraka reassured him. “You’re too self-aware of your quirk.”

“I destroyed a lot of things on accident when I wasn’t thinking clearly,” Shigaraki told her honestly. “People too.”

Uraraka didn’t look away from him when she softly replied, “I know,” and he knew at that moment that she was at least somewhat aware of his parents. Maybe she didn’t know the exact details, but she knew enough. It pissed him off and yet, at the same time, it gave him the ability to breathe. At least that was one less thing he had to hide to make himself look like less of a freak or monster or disaster.

Shigaraki took a breath and leaned back against the couch, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. “That’s gotta be at least part of the reason why he had Kurogiri watch over me. He was made of mist, which made it a lot more difficult for me to accidentally kill him too.”

“Not entirely of mist,” Uraraka pointed out.

“Ah, that’s right.” Shigaraki huffed out a tiny laugh. “You grabbed his neck brace and took away his gravity. I’d never seen him so affronted in his life. He’s made of mist and you made him helpless. I caught him grumbling about that days later.”

Uraraka chuckled faintly and admitted, “It’s weird…thinking about those days or just high school in general. It feels like an entirely different life. Things were so different than they are now. I never expected to be here.”

“In your enemy’s apartment on his couch with his kid?” Shigaraki prompted.

“No, I didn’t,” Uraraka concurred, “but everything else too. I don’t know what I expected or where I thought I would be at this age, but it admittedly wasn’t with you.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“It’s not that ,” Uraraka said dismissively, digging the heel of one of her feet into his thighs for extra emphasis.

“You sure about that? I thought you wanted to be married with kids.”

“Ass,” Uraraka declared, although she didn’t sound angry. She did kick him with her foot once more, a little harder this time. He grunted, caught off guard, and grabbed her by the ankle to stop her from doing it again - that four finger touch of theirs. She gave him a tiny smirk, not a kind one but not cruel by any means. “Yeah, I guess I thought I might be there, but I’m not and, honestly, I think I’m okay with that now.” He gave her a disbelieving look. “I mean, I wasn’t before - I’ll admit that - but I’ve been doing pretty damn good for myself these past few months. I might even have enough money to move into a better apartment when my lease is up. Maybe I’ll get a car! Or a motorcycle.”

The image of Uraraka driving a motorcycle almost made him choke. “You’re not serious about that.”

“What?” Uraraka responded innocently. “I learned to drive one a few years back. They’re fun and really give off this sense of freedom - and they’re cheaper and use less gas.”

“They’re also death traps,” Shigaraki pointed out.

“So what?” Uraraka’s smirk broadened. “You became a dad and turned into a wet blanket? Where’s your excitement? Where’s your thrill? Your sense of adventure?”

Was she hanging out with Touya on the side or something? That sounded an awful lot like something he would say. She better not be hanging out with him. He would be a bad influence on someone like her. She was a good person, but her taste was clearly questionable if she was fine hanging out in his apartment at two in the morning.

“I left it all behind when I became an average citizen,” Shigaraki shot back.

“Average citizens own motorcycles, you know,” Uraraka said.

“Not intelligent ones,” Shigaraki replied.

Uraraka hummed a thoughtful, “Maybe so,” and turned her attention back to the screen where his game was still paused. To be honest, he’d forgotten all about it. He had been entirely focused on the conversation. Even though it hadn’t been a pleasant one, he didn’t feel bad. He was used to unpleasant conversations making him uncomfortable, like the ones at his therapy sessions or with his parole officer.

This felt different. Somehow, he knew that Uraraka’s story about her quirk’s manifestation was one she didn’t tell often. It wasn’t something he expected of her. He had kind of pictured her having one of those storybook tales where her quirk manifested, she showed her parents, they were proud and excited for her, and then she showed it off to all her friends at school where her teachers complimented her and she thought about becoming a hero. Now all he could picture was her pale and shaking from getting repeatedly sick, probably strapped down to a bed so she wouldn’t float to the ceiling and thinking about that stupid turtle.

Why had she told him? It wasn’t like he was good at comforting people. She knew that. It wasn’t like she wanted to be comforted anyway. He didn’t get that feeling from her now. She’d just...opened up to him - without expected him to do the same. Maybe it was her way of holding out a hand to him, but she was already doing that by helping with Yukiko. She was already doing so much.

Should he tell her? About when his quirk manifested? He could barely remember it himself, but he had seen pictures and heard police reports. He remembered the dust and the ash and the blood. He remembered...the darkness and the cold. She wouldn’t want to hear that. It was gruesome and terrible and she deserved more than some awful, sad tale after telling her own. Besides, he’d never talked to anyone about it except for his therapist. He couldn’t remember telling Kurogiri and All for One had seen the aftermath and used it to his advantage.

Should he talk about father and the only way he’d been able to find comfort and relief for years? Unable to touch and both wanting and hating to be touched? Her legs were resting over his lap. He still had a hold on her ankle, but she hadn’t pulled her leg away from him. Was she really not scared? He wasn’t wearing his gloves. All he had to do was drop his forefinger and his quirk would eat away at her bare skin.

“I’m gonna keep playing,” Shigaraki blurted in the silence. He let go of her ankle, pulling his hand away as if her skin had scalded him, and grabbed his controller to start the game up again.

“Okay,” Uraraka replied, seemingly unaffected by his abruptness.

He couldn’t help but be very conscious of the fact that she felt - or at least acted like - she was comfortable around him. She was right: eight to ten years ago, this was not how he had pictured his life going. He had never thought about having kids for one, working retail, or not being anything but a villain. Maybe he hadn’t considered himself an actual villain. Very few did. After all, villains were heroes in their own stories. And then things started to get more complicated, goals began to shift, and then he got caught and-

Here he was, sitting on a shitty couch, in a shitty apartment, at two in the morning, playing an old video game while a pro hero and his daughter lounged next to and practically on top of him. Life was fucking weird.

He focused on the game, putting all of his mental capacity into it. He didn’t want to think of anything else. For a brief while, he wanted it to just be this game before he had to come back to the real world. He didn’t talk anymore and neither did Uraraka. Yukiko remained blessedly asleep, knocked out and comfortable on Uraraka’s chest. He kept playing for another hour, never once looking away from the screen, to the point where he almost forgot that her legs were lying over his.

It was only when his controller began to flash, signaling that its battery was low, that he snapped out of the video game trance. Shigaraki huffed in irritation. The only way to keep it from dying would be to get up and plug it in, but the cord wasn’t long enough to stretch to the couch. He saved his game progress and set the controller down, sitting back up and rubbing his face.

As he turned to look at Uraraka, Shigaraki started to say, “I’m done so you can-” but cut himself off when he found that she was asleep too. There was a terribly soft expression on her face, her mouth parted slightly as she breathed shallowly in her sleep. Her hands were folded together on Yukiko’s back so that a few of her fingers weren't touching her. Quirks didn’t always activate in a person’s sleep, but it was still very much a possibility and she wasn’t wearing gloves.

Should he wake her? Should he leave her be? It was hard to tell what the protocol for this was when he’d never been in a situation like this in his life - and he didn’t know what exactly this was beyond some weird arrangement. She looked comfortable, but he didn’t know how she would feel if she woke up alone in his apartment. Probably awkward as hell. It wasn’t like he was going to stay on the couch with her. He wanted to sleep too.

After grumbling to himself, Shigaraki lifted her legs off of him and stood up from the couch. He thought that might wake her up, but it didn’t. The hero work must’ve really kicked her ass tonight. He stretched his back, popping it a few times, and then looked down at her again. How could she be asleep? Was she that trusting? It was stupid. She should not have let her guard down that much around him. No, he wouldn’t do anything and he hadn’t even thought about legitimately hurting people in a while, but still… She shouldn’t do shit like this.

The first thing he did was very carefully pick up Yukiko. He had to move Uraraka’s hands, but then he spent at least a minute debating over what to do next. What if Uraraka woke up while he was grabbing Yukiko and thought he was trying to feel her up? His face heated up just thinking about it. This was stupid. He should just wake Uraraka up and have her hand Yukiko over. She needed to wake up and go home anyway. It was late though. Three AM was not a good time to be walking around in this neighborhood. Would it be better for her to stay?

She’s a pro hero, for fuck’s sake, Shigaraki scolded himself. She’s literally worked at this hour in this neighborhood.

Finally, Shigaraki just went and picked up Yukiko, scooping one hand under her belly and lifting while he held up her head with the other. It might’ve been awkward, but he got her and without waking her up too. Sighing with relief, he carried her into the bedroom and laid her down in her little sleep nest thing he had set up on his bed. He knew he wasn’t supposed to leave a blanket on her, according to the internet, but he didn’t see the harm in it since he could hang it over the bassinet-type thing and she barely moved in her sleep. Plus, it got drafty in his room and he didn’t want her to get cold.

When he returned to the living room, he found Uraraka curled up on her side on the couch, her arms hugging herself where Yukiko no longer was. The responsible thing would be to wake her up. If she was too tired to leave… Fuck it, she could sleep on his couch. It was weird, but he was tired too and her walking around the neighborhood sleepy as hell at this hour made him uncomfortable, as much as he didn’t like it. That sounded suspiciously like giving a shit. Fuyumi would give him hell about it if she ever found out he kicked Uraraka out at this hour. However, if she wanted to leave, he wouldn’t stop her either. It was her choice. She just had to be awake to make it.

Touching her shoulder, Shigaraki shook her lightly and hissed, “Hey,” but she didn’t respond. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She was going to wake up to a former villain shaking her. No way that was going to go well. Still, he nudged her again, harder, and repeated in a louder voice, “Hey, wake up.”

“Wha-?” Uraraka mumbled groggily. He pulled his hand away from her as she started to roll over and took a step back out of her reach. At least that way he might not come off looking like a threat and she wouldn't float his ass to the ceiling out of instinct. When her eyes landed on him, surprise shined in them, but only for a moment. She put a hand on her face as she pushed herself up into the sitting position, looking completely out of it. He couldn’t send her out like this. “Where’s Yukiko?”

“In bed,” Shigaraki simply told her.

“Oh, right.” Her hand fell from her face to her lap and she blinked a few times as she gathered her wits. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. I guess work caught up with me and Yukiko was so soothing.”

“Being a hero must be...exhausting,” Shigaraki said, making Uraraka smile a little, “all that caring, being a do-gooder, and chasing bad guys through the streets.”

Despite his slight mockery, Uraraka didn’t stop smiling. “Yeah, those are very tiring things to do.” He pulled her phone out of her shorts pocket to check the time and then let out a sigh. “Oof, it is late. My bad. I hope you didn’t stay up for me or anything.”

Shigaraki shook his head. “No, I was playing the game.” He hadn’t even realized what time it was until he quit playing and looked at the clock. He was definitely going to regret this tomorrow when Yukiko didn’t want to sleep again. It was worth it. Maybe.

“Well…” Uraraka stood up and lifted her arms in the air to stretch, her jacket and t-shirt underneath pulling up at the action. She yawned and dropped her arms to her side, all of the tension out of her body. “I guess I should get going. I don’t want to keep you up any longer. You need to sleep too.”

“You don’t have to,” Shigaraki blurted. When she raised her eyebrows at him, he bit his tongue and mentally cursed for a few seconds. He had meant to bring it up earlier when she woke up, but then she’d asked about Yukiko and he got distracted and, well… Okay, maybe he had avoided bringing it up. “I mean, like you said, it’s late.” He waved a hand in a vague gesture. “It might be…”

“Dangerous?” Uraraka finished for him in a voice that was far too teasing for his taste.

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. “You’re tired. This isn’t a safe neighborhood. Someone could get the jump on you because your head is clouded.” He folded his arms across his chest. “You look like the perfect person to mug.”

“And what’s the perfect person to mug look like?” Uraraka asked jokingly.

He knew it was a joke and he knew she was teasing him because she was a hero and every day was dangerous for her. Nonetheless, he retorted, “Like a pretty, sweet-natured, young woman who would probably walk into a dark alley if she heard a kitten crying.”

Again, it was kind of an insult (and kind of not), but Uraraka burst into muffled laughter, putting a hand over her mouth to soften the sound. She didn’t want to be too loud and wake up Yukiko, not after what she’d done to get her to fall back asleep. Once she contained herself, she pulled her hand away and admitted, “I probably would walk into a dark alley if I heard a kitten crying. How can you possibly resist that?”

“Very easily,” Shigaraki replied. “It could be a trap - some villain using your compassion to lure you into their clutches.”

“Did you ever use kittens in your evil schemes?” Uraraka questioned.

“No, but I probably should have if heroes are that easy to trick,” Shigaraki responded. They were both mocking each other now, but, looking back on it, using a kitten would have gotten the best of at least one or two heroes. Everyone had a soft spot. For a lot of people, that soft spot was animals. For Uraraka, it was apparently babies. For Shigaraki…

He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he’d even had a soft spot until Yukiko and now he was just wary.

“I promise not to wander into any dark alleys or go to a kitten’s rescue on my way home,” Uraraka swore, even holding up a hand like she was making it official. She winked at him, which made him a lot more flustered than he wanted to admit. What an asshole move.  “You don’t need to worry so much about me, but I appreciate it.”

Shigaraki scowled and muttered, “I wasn’t worried about you.” She was a hero, for fuck’s sake. A fight would wake her right up. They got off on villain confrontations, didn’t they?

Uraraka lifted a hand, like she was moving to put it on his arm, but then seemed to think better of it, pulling her hand away and stuffing both of them into her jacket pockets. Stupid hero merch. She was one of those annoying supportive friends. He knew that from firsthand experience now and they weren’t even friends.

Clearing her throat, Uraraka said, “Thank you - for the offer - but I don’t want to put you out any more than I already have. Me falling asleep on you was most likely awkward enough for you as it was.” Yes - and no. He hadn’t really minded it, which was weird, seeing as how he very much liked his space. Once he got really into the game and she stopped squirming around because she was more comfortable, he had kind of forgotten about her legs being in his lap altogether. “I’ll be fine. If a villain tries to attack me on my way home, I’ll be more pissed than anything else. I’m not on the clock and tomorrow is my day off.”

“I thought a hero’s job was never over,” Shigaraki said.

“It isn’t,” Uraraka replied, “but that doesn’t mean I want to get into a fight right now. I want my bed.”

Shigaraki huffed. “If you think you’re fine…”

“I am.”

“I’m not stopping you from leaving,” Shigaraki said. “I trust you to know what you’re capable of.”

There was a rather warm look on Uraraka’s face or at least that was what it looked like. It was hard to tell because of the light from the television. It still washed out the color of her face except for those pink spots on her cheeks. “I’ll see you later. Thanks for letting me crash a little and not getting offended over it. Normally, I like watching people play video games, but I guess I was more tired than I thought. I feel better now.”

“Yeah, okay,” Shigaraki mumbled.

“Let me know how Yukiko is feeling tomorrow,” Uraraka said as she walked to the door, “and try to get some sleep.”

“We’ll see,” Shigaraki replied vaguely. That was as accurate as he could be about that. There was no telling how much sleep he was able to get these days. Every night it was a gamble, one that he felt like he was losing. The system felt rigged. No matter what he did, Yukiko always came out the winner, even if that meant passing out on the couch with her in his arms. Maybe he should just let her sleep in the bed with him. He wanted to so bad, but he’d found so many terrifying articles on co-sleeping that he hadn’t been able to bring himself to try it.

Uraraka hesitated at the door. “Hey, um, thanks for letting me...talk...about my quirk. I haven’t really told many people about it, but it was… I don’t know. It was a thing that happened. There are worse stories than mine.” Like his. She knew that. He knew that. A person’s quirk manifestation couldn’t possibly get worse than his, short of even more people dying. “Whatever Yukiko’s quirk ends up being, I know you’ll be right there with her to help her figure it out.”

As long as he didn’t get killed in the process. He should be fine. He knew what to look out for at least. He had to keep an eye on her hands. It was Himura’s quirk that might throw him for a loop.

“See you around, hero,” Shigaraki told her. Uraraka rolled her eyes, but there was a smile on her face as she waved at him and then left without a word. She’d already said her goodbyes.

The moment she was gone, he turned off the game and television and checked to make sure the door was locked. He wouldn’t be able to see her leave since his apartment window faced the alley, but he didn’t need to. She was a hero. She could kick some serious ass. She was fine. Pushing her to the back of his mind, he crept into his bedroom and crawled into bed. Yukiko squirmed a little, making him freeze, but then she went still again.

Shigaraki let out a near-silent sigh and slipped under his thin blanket. That was a close call. He didn’t know what he would do if she woke up right now. After all, he didn’t have Uraraka’s… cushion.

Fuck me, Shigaraki thought, fighting the urge to smother himself with his pillow. He was intelligent as hell and he knew it, but sometimes even he did the dumbest things. Touya could never know about that mishap. Ever. That was starting to be a reoccurring theme with Uraraka for some reason.

Chapter 14: that age where your friends are having kids and you need a drink

Notes:

Guess who has finally decided to make their appearance in this absurd fic! Poor Mina is just trying to be a good friend. I really feel for her. She's definitely been stuck in the middle of a very painful and awkward situation in the past year - and I'm not making it any easier on her. RIP to everyone who had to watch their friends break up and didn't want to pick a side.

Chapter Text

Mina weaved her way through the crowded bar, trying to spot a familiar tuff of blonde or spiky red hair. For someone who proclaimed to not like crowds or the people that occupied them, Bakugou sure had picked a hopping place for them to meet up. She grinned to herself. Maybe he wasn’t such a grandpa, after all. It was past his usual bedtime. Of course, Kirishima had always been good at convincing Bakugou to go out. It was hard to say no to him and, whether he admitted it or not, Bakugou had struggled to do that since high school.

“Over here, Mina!” a voice called over the noise.

Casting a look around the bar to find the source of the call, Mina spotted a waving hand and pushed her way over to the small table. As soon as she stepped out of the crowd, she was assaulted by Kaminari throwing his arms around her and exclaiming, “It’s been so long! I was starting to forget what you looked like!”

“We snapchat each other every day,” Mina laughed. She fiercely returned his hug, lifting him off his feet.

“It’s not the same,” Kaminari insisted when she set him down. “We use filters every single time.”

He had a point. The two of them might have a minor addiction to snapchat filters. They were just so much fun! The two of them, along with Uraraka and Sero, had an ongoing competition to see who could create the ugliest and funniest selfie. Kaminari might have been winning.

The next person she hugged was Kirishima, who was as enthusiastic if not as emotional as Kaminari. Had he gotten even more muscular since she last saw him? It shouldn’t be possible at this point. “It’s so good to see you again,” he told her. “I’ve definitely missed you.”

“You too. It’s been a while since the ‘squad’ could all get together for anything.” Mina beamed as the two boys nodded in agreement. “Where are the others?”

“Sero’s stuck in traffic,” Kaminari explained, propping his forearms on the tall table they were standing around. “He would have been here sooner, but apparently his daughter decided to eat crayons.”

“Katsuki’s at the bar getting the first round,” Kirishima added, pulling out his phone. “I’ll tell him you’re here. What do you want? He might as well get it while he’s up there.”

“Oh, he’s buying us all drinks right off the bat?” Mina waggled her eyebrows playfully, making Kaminari snort. “He goes up a rank and he gets so generous. Either that or it’s gone straight to his ego. Mr. Big Shot’s gotta show off.”

Kirishima laughed. “He’s trying to be nice.”

Mina waved a finger at him. “Or he’s just in a really good mood.” He shook his head in an attempt to insist things were normal, but there was an embarrassed smile on his face that he couldn’t shake. He was so easy to read sometimes that it almost wasn’t funny. “Now I wonder what could’ve happened to him to make him this nice. Did you do a little preemptive damage control before you two got here?”

“Stop it!” Kirishima covered his blushing face with his hands. It was so sweet. He was a grown man, but it was still the easiest thing in the world to tease him over these things. She’d known about his crush on Bakugou back in school, but it hadn’t been fun to joke around about it once Bakugou and Uraraka started dating after graduation. Kirishima had been put out but refused to let it get the best of him since he’d never said anything either.

It was still sometimes weird for her to joke about them now, considering what had happened, but she knew that the last thing Kirishima and even Bakugou wanted was to hurt Uraraka. Bakugou might still be an ass sometimes, but Kirishima had never been a cruel person. Even in middle school, he had been kind and just wanted to help people. Some things just happened. It had never been intentional.

“The heart wants what the heart wants, right?” she could still hear Uraraka mumbling.

It was an awkward situation, but after a year, she thought things were...okay. They were good - or as good as anyone could get when Uraraka and Bakugou’s relationship ending was a PR disaster and his subsequent relationship with Kirishima was the talk of the town.

The dust had finally settled and everyone had moved on and were in healthier, happier places. Bakugou and Kirishima were doing great, looking better than ever. Although he would rather eat a sock than admit it, his crumbling relationship with Uraraka had affected his job. He’d been stressed out over not being able to fix things. Ending things had wounded both of them, even if it looked like Bakugou was just fine a few months later. He was good now and Kirishima no longer seemed to waffle with guilt. They were happy.

And Uraraka…

Well, despite the very weird circumstances she had fallen into with a reformed villain, she seemed really good. Better than good, if Mina was being honest. Yeah, it was weird as hell and sometimes she burst into random laughter whenever she thought about the fact that Uraraka was basically Tomura Shigaraki’s babysitter, but no one was getting hurt. Maybe she had just needed something to get her out of the last bit of that funk. She’d been doing pretty decent, but there was something undeniably brighter and bubblier about her now.

All it took was running into an old enemy and becoming friends with them. Who knew? After all, even if she had never spoken or seen him personally in years, they were friends. Shigaraki could deny it all he wanted, but all the stories she had heard from Uraraka so far made it pretty clear to Mina. She would never proclaim to be the smartest person on the planet, but she’d always been great at the friendship thing. She liked making friends and she was good at it. She knew what it took.

Apparently, she wasn’t as talented at it as Uraraka. She had made friends with the former leader of the League of Villains. To the point where he trusted her with his baby girl, no less.

Bakugou could never, ever know about that.

As Kaminari recounted his latest disastrous blind date, Mina pulled out her phone, noticing a snapchat notification from Uraraka. Oh, was she trying to beat Kaminari at their game? However, his phone wasn’t blinking, which meant that he hadn’t received the snap from her too. She opened up the snap, revealing a silly picture of Uraraka with Yukiko. It was positively adorable. Using a filter that put round glasses on them, they were both smiling brightly. It was both hard and easy to tell that Yukiko was Shigaraki’s kid. She only recognized it because she knew Yukiko was his, but if she just went by the brown hair and red eyes...

“Whose baby is that?”

“Ah!”

Mina’s phone clattered to the table. She had been so surprised by Bakugou’s voice behind her that it had slipped right out of her hands. Looking around, she saw that he was standing behind her, holding their drinks in a way that looked both dangerous and skillful, but he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were on the phone, which had the snap up for two more seconds. Oh shit.

She scrambled to snatch her phone and clicked it off. “Oh, uh, it’s...no one’s.” Bakugou narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Shit. That was the wrong answer. She needed to come up with something fast. “Well, I mean, obviously not no one. It’s one of her cousin’s kids.”

“I didn’t know any of them were having a kid,” Bakugou muttered half to himself. Of course he knew her family. They had only been dating for a while and even lived together. Talked about having a family of their own - or, well, talked about not having one.

Mina gave him an apologetic look. “It has been a year…”

“Right. Of course.” Bakugou glanced at her phone again, but there was nothing to see. It didn’t matter. The damage had already been done. Luckily, he seemed thrown by the fact that he and Uraraka had been broken up long enough for someone in her family to have a kid without him knowing anything about it. Seeing her with a baby had probably shaken him up too. Again, he wouldn’t admit it. In true Bakugou fashion, he’d pretend like it had never happened and would just dwell on it for the rest of his life.

And she joked about Midoriya being bad at keeping secrets. She’d almost exposed Uraraka.

Good thing for her, Kirishima was excellent in Bakugou and knew how to avert any crisis with him. “Thanks for the drinks! You didn’t have to do that.”

“What? Are you kidding me?” Kaminari took his drink as soon as Bakugou set them down on the table, sliding the glass towards him. “He makes almost double than me. You let him spoil you! I need me a man like that.”

Mina snorted. “Don’t we all?”

“That’s what I need to look for,” Kaminari declared. “A sugar mama. Someone to take care of my broke ass.”

“You know, you’d make more money if you actually applied yourself since you have such a strong quirk,” Bakugou pointed out. Kaminari bobbed his head noncommittally, although there was a sheepish grin on his face. He knew that Bakugou was right. He’d get there eventually, but not everyone was gearing for the very top like him. “Unless you want some old woman to baby you.”

“If they’re hot, then hell yeah,” Kaminari replied, giving Bakugou the finger guns. “Up top!”

He and Mina high-fived and stared down Bakugou sassily. He scoffed, shaking his head at them, but didn’t push the topic or berate Kaminari any further. Oh no, crisis not averted. He had been in a good mood, but that meant a lot of grinning and intelligent comebacks and fun bullying. He wanted them to be their best. It was important to him. If he wasn’t doing that, it meant he was thinking about something. She connected eyes with Kirishima, who subtly shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey,” Kirishima piped up, “you actually never finished the story about that blind date.”

Kaminari brightened up like his quirk had zapped the life back into him. “Oh, man, it gets so much worse! I didn’t want her to find out that I was allergic to her favorite food, so I took a few bites, thinking I’d be fine if I ate only a tiny bit. Boy, was I wrong! But I didn’t want her to know that either.”

“So what?” Mina prompted, getting really into the story. “You just sat there while you had an allergic reaction?”

“Maybe?” Kaminari replied, cringing a little.

Mina burst into laughter. “Oh my god. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard since Uraraka told me-” She caught herself at the last second, noticing the blank look on Bakugou’s face, and awkwardly continued, “Since Uraraka told me she saw…” Something ridiculous, weird, and random as hell that did not involve her hanging out with Shigaraki and his baby. “Todoroki’s oldest brother walking a cat.”

Too ridiculous, weird, and random! Why had she said that? It didn’t even make sense!

However, Bakugou snorted and gulped down half of his drink. “Good to know Dabi is still a dumbass.”

“He goes by Touya now,” Mina put in. She hadn’t actually known that until Uraraka told her a few months ago. Even though she and Uraraka were best friends, she wasn’t close to Todoroki like Uraraka was, which meant that she wasn’t as up-to-date on former villains. However, Uraraka was even more familiar with him now. Apparently hanging out with Shigaraki meant extended contact with Touya Todoroki as well since they were best friends. Man, her life was super weird right now, but it sounded interesting at least.

“I don’t care what he goes by,” Bakugou stated harshly. “As long as those so-called ‘reformed villains’ stay far away and keep on pretending like they’re bland ass civilians, we won’t have any problems.”

Mina nearly finished her drink in one gulp in an attempt to distract herself or say anything else stupid. Yeah, far away. Civilians. No problems. His ex-girlfriend was currently with one of those reformed villains at this very moment - or at least his baby.

“Hey, guys!” Sero greeted. “Aw, you all started without me.”

“You said to!” Kirishima said.

“I still can’t believe Setsuna let you come out,” Kaminari added. “You got the cool wife!”

“Mika just started walking,” Sero explained as he started to take off his jacket. “I needed it.”

Mina grabbed Sero by the arm before he could finish and said, “C’mon, I’ll go with you to get a drink,” as she forced him to turn right back around. He didn’t even argue with her as she began to pull him through the crowd to the bar. “I need another one.”

She had to take off the edge of her nerves somehow. One more drink and she would be back to normal so she could have an awesome nice with her old gang of friends. She’d forget all about Uraraka and Shigaraki and a baby. She had sworn not to tell Bakugou and, as much as she loved that curmudgeonly hero, she had an obligation to her best girl too. Being in the middle sucked sometimes, but she had never complained before and she wouldn’t do it now.

*

Having a few more drinks had distracted Mina just as she’d wanted. The bar they were at was new and hip, which made seeing Bakugou in it all the more hilarious. Even now, he didn’t do hip, but he was trying to for them - or at least for Kirishima, who had wanted to check it out. Luckily, because it was so crowded and the lights had dimmed, people didn’t recognize them. He handled fans better than some pro heroes of the past, but he was still a little rough around the edges and he did not like getting his picture taken at all.

He hadn’t minded it before, but after the whole breakup and new relationship ordeal, he was done with them. If he so much as saw a hint of paparazzi, Bakugou would blow up. To be honest, Mina knew that it wasn’t the fact that they had taken pictures of him and Kirishima that pissed him off so much. They hadn’t been keeping their relationship on the down low because of the public. The whole thing had ended up hurting Uraraka and that, more than anything else, had transformed him into the paparazzi’s number one enemy.

For a while, he hadn’t cared what he looked like. He got into arguments and fights with anyone that tried to put a camera or mic in his face. It was only until they’d sat him down and explained that him constantly blowing up on people just trying to do their jobs (as despicable as they could be at times) was messing with his rank.

And it wasn’t helping Uraraka at all. In fact, she didn’t want his help. She wanted to deal with it on her own. Mina sometimes thought that hurt him more than anything else, but he rarely talked about such things and for once she didn’t pry. He should consider himself so lucky. There was a lot she’d like to know, but even Uraraka had remained tight-lipped about a few details. Oh well. It was their business. They had their own lives to live and they could do whatever they wanted with it. Like fall in love with their best friend.

Or become friends with a reformed villain and help them raise their kid.

Oh, nope, she was back to thinking about it again, on the dance floor of all places. Hopping around to loud music while multi-colored lights flickered over the crowd was a really weird spot to think about it, but she couldn’t help it. She liked this place. It was cool and upbeat. Sometimes a night out dancing and not caring about things was what she needed. Everyone needed to blow off steam once in a while, even pro heroes - maybe especially heroes. She should take Uraraka here some time. That girl needed a break like this. She needed fun!

Maybe, if she’d allowed herself to have fun and get herself out there a little more, she wouldn’t have so easily jumped into a free babysitting gig.

Not that it was a bad thing! Uraraka was free to do whatever she wanted or whatever made her happy. And if she wanted to help Shigaraki out with his daughter and she was happy with the decision, that was fine. It was great. Yes, it was a good thing. Uraraka was being a better hero - no, a better person than most people would be. Mina didn’t know if she would’ve gone out of her way even that first night had she been in Uraraka’s position. It embarrassed her, but she might’ve kept on walking and just called Midoriya to let him know what she saw.

Not Uraraka. She had gone above and beyond in helping a...civilian. She was good like that.

“Hey, you good in there?” Kaminari asked loudly over the music.

“Huh?” Mina was still jumping around to the music and had only just noticed that Kaminari was on the dance floor with her doing the same thing. Oh shit. She’d really got lost in her own thoughts. The song was even different than the one she remembered dancing to a moment ago. “Oh, yeah, I was just thinking!”

Kaminari gave her a funny look. “Thinking? While we’re dancing? About what?”

“Uh...about...how I have to pee! I’ll be right back!” Without waiting for Kaminari’s response, Mina stopped dancing and scurried off the dance floor. Well, it was more like she pushed her way off of it, considering how crowded it was. Now that she was thinking about it, she did need to use the restroom, so it wasn’t exactly a lie.

She got in line for the bathroom, pulled out her phone, and began the dreaded wait. There was another snap from Uraraka. Mina did a precursory check to make sure Bakugou wasn’t going to pop up on her again and then opened it. She immediately threw a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing obnoxiously loud.

Instead of another cute picture of Uraraka and Yukiko, it was a snapchat of Shigaraki. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark jeans, looking positively normal. What was hilarious about the whole thing was the way he was holding his daughter in the air, like he had been playing with her, but he was giving the camera a very unamused look. He must have caught Uraraka in the act of taking the picture and wasn’t happy about it. He didn’t look angry either, just resigned to the fact that this was his life now.

The picture had a caption that stated: he’s threatening to disintegrate my phone :( but it’s not my fault he was acting all cute with her lol

Mina continued to giggle even as she lifted her phone to snap a quick selfie and caption it with, he looks so done lmao but what a good dad.

She sent it and then put her phone back in her pocket since it was her turn to use the restroom. She did her business quick, if only because the girl behind her in line had looked like she was getting antsy, and then wandered out into the open space. Back to dancing, the table, or the bar? Maybe she’d take a little breather at the table before getting back out on the floor. She didn’t want to leave Kaminari out there by himself for too long. Who knew what he would do out there? Probably get another date.

Only Sero and Bakugou were at the table when she returned. They were chatting about video games, a conversation she didn’t have much input on, so she pulled out her phone again. Even though Bakugou was at the table, he was pretty distracted by Sero, so she merely angled her screen away from him so she could text Uraraka. Snaps would be too dangerous at this point.

You done babysitting for the night?

Gonna watch a movie and then head out I think.

What movie? Mina grinned to herself as she typed up another quick response. Why did Uraraka have to make it so easy to tease her sometimes? It was too much of an opportunity to pass up on. Honestly, she should’ve expected this by now. U really gonna netflix and chill with him?

We’re not netflix and chilling!!! Yukiko is on the couch with us!

So what you’re saying is that if she wasn’t there you would be.

NO! Shigaraki isn’t interested in that or me. I’m helping him out. That’s it. He’s just being nice.

Mina snickered and shot back, I thought you said he wasn’t interested in being nice either.

Idk he has his moments. He’s in a good mood. He even brought food.

Omg he’s wining and dining you.

With fast food? Do you really think I’m that easy?

Girl all he’s gotta do is pick one of your favorite movies and you’ll be in a weird romcom.

I’m never talking to you again.

So into the conversation, Mina didn’t even notice Sero leave the table to get another drink, which meant that only she and Bakugou remained. He was here, but not even Kirishima would be able to convince him to get on the dance floor for extended periods of time. It was only when she looked up her phone briefly did she connect eyes with Bakugou and realize he had been looking at her. She wiped the smile from her face quickly, but the damage had already been done. Damnit, she’d been wearing such a goofy look too. She really did love teasing her best friend.

“How is she?” Bakugou asked flatly.

“How’s who?” Mina responded dumbly, even though she knew damn well who he meant. He knew that she knew too, so he didn’t even bother to reiterate. “She’s good - really good. I had brunch with her a few days ago. She’s looking great, even looking like she’s gonna be Ryukyu’s right-hand woman at the agency.”

Bakugou nodded, half-muttering to himself, “That’s good.”

Mina felt for him. She really did. Just because he and Uraraka been broken up for a while and he was in a loving relationship did not mean that he didn’t still care about her. That was where so many people went wrong with Bakugou. They thought he only gave a shit about himself or, if they were feeling generous, about the people that supported him. Things were over between them and they would never be the same, but he still respected her as a hero and cared about her as a person. He was just a big butt sometimes and didn’t like to show that side of himself.

Snapping out of whatever thoughts he’d fallen into, Bakugou said, “You’ve been texting her all night.”

“Not about you, I swear!” Mina hastily said.

“I didn’t think that,” Bakugou told her. She sighed in relief. If there was one thing Mina knew, it was that neither one of them liked to bring up the other, but, if she was being honest, Bakugou was almost always the one to ask about her first. He could be considerate. Uraraka wouldn’t have dated him if he hadn’t been - Kirishima neither. “If you wanted to hang out with her, you should’ve said something. I didn’t have to come.”

“No!” Mina exclaimed. “I wanted to see you too!” Bakugou didn’t look entirely convinced, but then he’d known that the whole thing had put her in an awkward position. She loved them both dearly and it had hurt her to see the two of them so messed up over each other in a bad way. Things were good now. “Really, I did. You’re my bro too.” He rolled his eyes, but at least he didn’t look doubtful anymore. “Besides, she’s busy tonight with Shi-”

Oh. Fuck. Bakugou’s gaze went sharp. Mina’s heart jammed in her chest. Shit, shit, shit. This was the second time she had messed up, but this was much worse. She’d already started to say the name. Even worse, she had stopped herself in the middle of it and hadn’t continued, which meant that he wasn’t supposed to know because he knew the person. Oh, no. Think, think, think. How could she save this?

“With Shi...nsou,” Mina finished lamely.

“She’s hanging out with Shinsou?” Bakugou questioned. “As in friends or more?”

Mina cleared her throat. “Not to be rude, but I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

“I didn’t even realize he was back in town,” Bakugou said. “Wasn’t he operating in the US with Jirou?”

“He...came back,” Mina continued, digging her hole deeper. Might as well go all the way. “And he and Ochako ran into each other and started talking and, welp, now they’re hanging out. Good times.”

Bakugou stared her down, eyes narrowed into a glare and once more looking unconvinced. Mina stared back, a cringing smile plastered onto her face. She wasn’t sure if Bakugou had Shinsou’s number, but Kaminari did and the two of them were still good friends as far as Mina remembered. The one thing about being friends with Kaminari was that he couldn’t keep a secret. It was highly likely that if Shinsou was not only back in Japan but also hanging out with Uraraka, Kaminari would’ve blurted it by now.

Shit. She should’ve said Shindo. Why hadn’t she said that name instead? Bakugou hated the guy (not as much as he hated Shigaraki), so it would’ve made sense for Mina not to say anything about it.

“You’re lying,” Bakugou stated.

“No, I’m not!” Mina exclaimed in a voice that was too high-pitched to be normal.

“You said she was hanging out with her cousin earlier and now Shinsou,” Bakugou said. Oh, yeah, that had been the lie she had come up with about the baby picture. She really needed to keep her stories straight. She was as bad at lying as Uraraka and Deku. “So yeah, you’re lying. Why?”

“Maybe she hung out with him after visiting her family, huh?” Mina folded her arms across her chest, feeling both defensive and protective. “Or maybe because it really isn’t your business. Ochako is allowed to do whatever she wants. She’s allowed to hang out with whoever she wants, even if you don’t like them. You don’t need to be up-to-date on her life now that you’re out of it.”

Bakugou frowned deeply, but he didn’t argue either. Instead, he looked away from her and muttered, “I know that.”

Mina sighed and softened. “Look, I know you’re concerned about her, but… I don’t know. She doesn’t want your concern. She just needs her space to live her life and move on. You barging in, even if it’s with good intentions, only brings her right back.” She really didn’t want to talk about this right now, not when they were supposed to be having fun, but sometimes he needed that drilled into his head. He couldn’t help someone that specifically didn’t want his help. The last time he had tried had made things only more awkward.

“Yeah, okay,” Bakugou said, which she knew was the closest he would come to say that she was right.

“Besides,” Mina added, perking up, “it’s not like he’s dangerous anymore, so you don’t need to worry.”

“What do you meant he’s not ‘dangerous anymore’?” Bakugou questioned, the tension jumping all over again. Mina couldn’t resist the urge to slap herself in the face. The problem with drinking to calm her nerves down and have fun was that it also loosened her tongue and she said things without thinking them through. “What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing is going on!” Mina insisted.

“Bullshit,” Bakugou snapped. “Just tell me. I promise I won’t fly off the handle or do something crazy or whatever. Like you said, it’s her life.” He looked around, probably to check if the others were around, but it was just them, no matter how much Mina wished Kirishima would show up. “I just want to know she’s okay. That’s it. I fucked up with her and I know that, but she still…” He held up his hands in a placating manner. He really had grown. “I won’t freak out.”

He had not grown nearly enough to handle the truth.

“I told Ochako I wouldn’t tell,” Mina whined.

“Anyone or just me?” Bakugou asked. Mina didn’t answer, which told him anyway. He huffed and ran his fingers through his already messy hair. “So what? She’s seeing someone I don’t like?”

Mina ran a finger through a wet spot on the table from one of their drinks. “She’s not seeing him. They’re just friends.” Even if Shigaraki didn’t believe they were. He had brought back food and they were watching a movie at his place. They were freaking friends and it was weird as hell, but no one had died.

Not yet, at least. That might change when Bakugou found out.

“Todoroki?” Bakugou guessed. Now that would’ve made things easier. She had kind of thought they would become a thing, considering how protective Todoroki was of her and how much things had deteriorated between him and Bakugou after the breakup, but nothing ever came of it. However, before Mina could respond, he shook his head. “No, it’s not him. I’d know. Is it that Shindou asshole?”

“Yeah!” Mina said quickly. “It’s him.”

“No.” Bakugou stared her down. “Too eager to agree.”

Mina groaned and threw her head back. “C’mon, Bakugou, can you just let it be?”

He didn't even respond, choosing the stare down approach that he knew she didn’t like. It made her squirm every time. Honestly, she was even worse about keeping secrets than Uraraka and she knew that. Uraraka at least tried to lie. Mina told on herself half the time. It was why all those tabloids about her sneaking around with other guys were so ludicrous. Everyone would know in less than a week if any of that was true.

Glancing around desperately, Mina hoped to spot Kirishima or anyone that might save her from this mess, but it remained just the two of them. None of their friends were in sight. She was half-tempted to call out his hero name and run away when he inevitably got flooded with fans. As the number four hero, he was a pretty big deal. The only reason people weren’t flocking around him now was because of the dim lights, loud music, and crowded scene. No wonder he had picked this place. He could hide.

“You’re gonna flip out!” Mina complained.

“I won’t,” Bakugou insisted.

“You will too!”

Bakugou scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. “What? Is she hanging out with Dabi or something? She’s got better taste than that.” Mina winced before she could stop herself. That was too close of a guess for comfort. Her reaction was enough to make him suspicious and he narrowed his eyes when she didn’t respond right away. “Why aren’t you saying anything? Is she?”

“Uh, not...exactly…” Mina mumbled, fiddling with her fingers.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Bakugou demanded.

Mina chewed on her bottom lip. She couldn’t do this. Maybe she should just bolt now. He’d forgive her eventually. Leaving him hanging would piss him off, but it was better than betraying Uraraka. She hadn’t told anyone about what Uraraka had said, not even the girls, but it was hard. For once, the tabloids had missed something incredibly wild and true and it was driving her bonkers.

“Just tell me,” Bakugou said again, except this time, instead of anger, there was a tiny hint of desperation in his voice. It was something he would’ve never let bleed through back when they were younger. The past few years had helped him open up - or maybe it had to do with Uraraka. He’d really grown while he was with her.

And it was that tone - that tiny admission that screamed he still cared about her - that made Mina break. Damn him to hell, honestly.

“It’s Shigaraki!” Mina burst. She slapped a hand over her mouth, but it was too late. She’d said the dreaded words and was already planning on calling Uraraka to apologize. What had she done? She was so stupid. She was such a shitty friend. During the breakup and after, she had kept her mouth shut, letting them handle things on their own and only offering her support and advice when asked. It had been difficult, but she’d done it. Why was it so hard now?

(Was it because she was kind of anxious about the whole ordeal? Yeah, Shigaraki was supposed to be reformed and Uraraka seemed to believe he was doing good. They were even hanging out tonight after she’d watched Yukiko. She insisted things were fine. Still, it was hard not to worry. Shigaraki was...well, he was Shigaraki. She’d had nightmares about him in high school. He had orchestrated Bakugou’s kidnapping, the attack on USJ, and countless other things throughout the years. How could she not be anxious about Uraraka being around him? Even with a baby involved?)

Completely silenced, Bakugou gawked at her, but Mina knew it wouldn’t last long. He was going to blow up and it wasn’t going to be pretty. Maybe he wouldn’t since they were in public and it could possibly damage his reputation, but it wasn’t like that had stopped him before. The public knew his explosive personality very well. It was a part of his image at this point. The rebel hero who didn’t give a damn about being fake and was who he was even if it made him look like an asshole. People ate it up and it wasn’t even an act.

“What?” Bakugou blinked. “Are you fucking with me?”

“Yes?” Mina replied weakly.

“What the fuck is she…?” Bakugou’s eyes darted from side-to-side as he tried to process this new information. His ex-girlfriend was hanging out with the former villain who had terrorized them throughout their high school days. Yeah, it was a lot to take in. She had laughed about it, but after leaving brunch, she’d realized how shocked she was. It was the weirdest thing. “How in the hell did she get involved with him? Why is he even around her?”

Mina sighed and fought the urge to hide her face in her hands. “It’s kind of a long story. Can we just forget about it tonight? We’re supposed to be having fun…”

“I don’t give a shit about that,” Bakugou snapped. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and her heart leaped into her throat, threatening to choke her.

“Don’t!” Mina snatched his phone out of his hands without a second thought.

“What the fuck!” Bakugou shouted. “Give me my damn phone!”

Mina shook her head and said, “No way. You’re not getting this back until you promise not to bother her.”

“I swear to god, Ashido,” Bakugou snarled. “Give me my phone or so help you.”

“You can threaten me all you want; I don’t give a shit,” Mina retorted, holding it away from him. She was not below wrestling him over this if he launched himself over the table like he looked like he wanted to do. “But you’re not going to text her. The last thing she needs is you blowing up her phone. She’s in a really good place without you in her life. I love you, but you need to stop behaving like an entitled brat.”

Bakugou practically growled at her, but he leaned back and stopped glaring at her like he was ready to attack at any given moment. She sighed in relief and carefully handed the phone back to him. He hesitated, but then put it back in his pocket. The disgruntled look on his face said it all, but she knew he wouldn’t text Uraraka. Her words had been harsh and she was frustrated that she had to resort to guilting him, but it had to be done.

She might have spilled the beans to Bakugou, but she wasn’t about to let him or her ruin Uraraka’s night. From what she’d seen in the texts, she was having a really good, chill night. Yes, it was with a former villain. Yes, it was strange. Yes, it did worry her. That was probably why Uraraka was texting her more frequently: to reassure her that she was indeed okay and Shigaraki hadn’t murdered her.

Still, she would have to call Uraraka tomorrow and apologize - or at least warn her. Bakugou might not say anything tonight, but she didn’t know how long he would be able to contain himself before he had to say something. He was a volcano and this was bound to make him explode eventually once it became too much to hold in. She wasn’t even sure he would tell Kirishima about this. Discussing an ex was awkward no matter how kind and good your significant other was.

Bakugou tapped his fingers on the tabletop as he thought the revelation over. “The kid.” Uh oh. Mina tried not to react, but she wanted to bite her nails. “I didn’t think of it before because it’s absolutely ridiculous - outside of Ochako willingly spending time with a villain - but the red eyes and that mole…” Damnit, he had gotten a much better look at the picture than she’d thought. She hoped he only caught a glimpse of it before she turned the screen black. “That’s his fucking kid.”

“Shigaraki a dad? Whaaat?” Mina’s voice was way too high-pitched. She rubbed the back of her neck and rolled her eyes. It was too over the top and she knew it even as she kept acting this way. Her brain screamed at her to stop, but she couldn’t. She was basically acting like Kaminari. How lame. “That’s silly! Who would sleep with him?”

“Another villain,” Bakugou said, so to the point that Mina coughed. He wasn’t wrong, but she really wished he wouldn’t keep referring to Shigaraki as if he was still one. She wasn’t about to go up to bat for him, even if Uraraka and Midoriya proclaimed he wasn’t one anymore, but it made her uncomfortable since Uraraka was with him right now. Why couldn’t she have just gotten with Todoroki? “There was that unusually peaceful villain takedown a while back. I only remember it because there was a baby involved and it was in Uraraka’s sector.”

Mina huffed in exasperation. “Do you remember every villain captured?”

“When they stand out, yeah,” Bakugou answered. “I’m not wrong.” Chewing on her lip, she shook her lip. So much for a fun night out with no thinking involved. It was starting to look like had made a better choice with her night in. “What the hell is she doing hanging around him? It can’t be just because-”

“Don’t,” Mina cut in. “Don’t you dare assume it’s because of you.”

“Can you blame me?” Bakugou shot back. He simmered down and turned away from her, a decidedly uncomfortable expression on his face. “After...what happened between us?”

He still cared and it still hurt sometimes and everything still… Bakugou hadn’t meant to hurt Uraraka. Mina was friends with both of them and had seen both sides of the story. In the end, their relationship simply faded away. Despite what everyone thought of him, it hadn’t ended with an explosive fight that instigated an ugly breakup. Things might’ve been easier had it been that way. Mina wasn’t sure. She’d dated and been in relationships, but never one as serious as that.

“It’s not like she ran to the first guy with a kid because you didn’t think you wanted any,” Mina pointed out, with all the delicacy of a wrecking ball. It was kind of harsh, but sometimes one had to act that way with Bakugou in order to get a point through his hard head. He was so stubborn. What most people didn’t people realize about him was that he shouldered so much. He acted like he had to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. If he didn’t live up to his own expectations, if he felt like he failed in any way, he took it hard.

He was happy with Kirishima now, but that didn’t he still considered himself a failure when it came to Uraraka.

“As heroes, I think we know more than most that the world is a crazy and weird place sometimes,” Mina continued, trying her best to soften the blow. “It’s a coincidence. She saw someone in need of help and stepped in and things just sorta snowballed from there.”

“I don’t like it,” Bakugou grumbled.

Mina snorted. “I didn’t think it would tickle you pink.”

He sighed. “But I won’t bother her about it. You’re right. She’s not… It’s not my life. She’s a grown woman and she can hang out with whoever she wants.” Bakugou’s gaze moved behind her until they stopped. His face softened immediately and she knew right away he had spotted Kirishima. “Still dumb.”

“You’re not mad at her?” Mina asked hesitantly. “I mean, since he, you know…”

Bakugou took a moment to respond before he finally said, “No, I’m not mad at her.”

Mina didn’t want to sigh in relief or get her hopes up, but honestly, he hadn’t reacted nearly as bad as she had expected. Uraraka had been concerned that he would be furious with her. They still worked together from time-to-time and it was impossible to avoid him completely when they had many of the same friends, but she hadn’t wanted him to come barging into her life either demanding answers. As much as she cared about him still, it was easier to do at a distance.

“Good,” Mina said. “Now cheer up and try to forget about it. Unless you want them to ask questions.”

The face Bakugou made actually got a laugh out of her. “The last thing I need is Kaminari poking around this. He’d lose his shit.” He grabbed his drink. “Besides, I don’t think this is something she wants getting out. She clearly went out of her way to keep it on the down low and I think it was a good idea. It wouldn’t be good for her image and the media already loves shitting on female heroes. Who knows what the media would say about one spending time with a villain?”

“Reformed villain,” Mina interjected.

“Whatever,” Bakugou said, waving a hand. “You said they’re...friends?”

“Yeah.”

“Fucking ridiculous,” he muttered before downing the rest of his drink in one go. Mina cringed. Yeah, he’d handled this as well as he could have. She needed another drink.

Chapter 15: Well this is awkward

Notes:

Now that we're all suffering because of the manga, let's have an awkward moment. Lmao

Chapter Text

Having been on opening shift for a few weeks now, Shigaraki realized he preferred it. Not only did fewer people show up early in the morning, but he was already accustomed to being up early thanks to Yukiko’s absurd sleeping habits. He was still tired as fuck, considering said sleep habits, but he had plenty of daylight to do things when he got off work. Before, the sun was long gone by the time he got off work. He didn’t have to think about productivity or doing things at night, leaving any errands for his days off.

Going back to work had not been fun. The first week felt like a race against the clock, except sometimes it felt like time was going backward and working against him. He’d never actively enjoyed going to work before, but it had been torture after Yukiko. Things were easier without her around. He could sit down, use both hands, eat without scarfing the food down, and take a piss without feeling like he was going over his time limit. He could breathe. For eight or nine hours of the day, life was like it used to be before Himura had jumped him after his shift.

And yet it felt strange not having Yukiko’s weight resting on his chest as he leaned back in his chair. He often found himself wondering if the daycare employees carried her around and paced in circles to get her to fall asleep like he did or if they left her to cry herself to sleep in a swing or crib. He ate fast out of habit even without her there. All those moments when he had wanted nothing more than time to himself, no matter how guilty it made him feel, and now that he did, he wasn’t content.

It was stupid. Why was he so disgruntled over this shit? Fuyumi said it was normal. Uraraka said he just missed her since he’d formed a bond with her. Shigaraki didn’t like it (and yet he did at the same time). It made him feel weak. Back in his villain days, he would’ve scoffed at such a thing. Forming close personal attachments was dangerous and stupid. It left a person open and vulnerable. Yes, he cared about the members of his team, but they were villains and they lived a dangerous life.

A baby, on the other hand… His child…

Fuck, he really had gone soft in prison. Would he even make it longer than a week if he wanted to go back into villainy? Probably not.

“I can’t go back to being a villain because I’m a dad now.” How ridiculous. Other villains would laugh at how far he had fallen. Not that he cared what they thought of him. He just didn’t want them getting the wrong ideas and thinking they could cross him now that he was a civilian. He had a kid. He couldn’t just get into fights with other villains anymore because they pissed him off or wanted him dead.

(Taking Shigaraki in hadn’t stopped All for One, but then again, after years of therapy, he could admit that the man hadn’t been much of a father. It had all been a carefully constructed projection to make Shigaraki more pliable. And that was one of the few examples he had to go by for fatherhood. Lovely.)

Today had dragged on, making it feel as if he’d worked two shifts in a row. Very few customers came in, which meant that he had most of the day and store to himself. He spent most of it restocking and organizing the back room once another employee came in. Working in the back made the day go by a little better. He could plug in some earbuds, turn on some music (usually a video game OST), and get lost in the work by himself with nobody to bother him. It was relaxing as far as work got, if only because it was so monotonous.

Someone tapping on his back interrupted his train of thought. He rounded on the offender, his heart leaping into his throat when he caught sight of the other employee. A girl fresh out of high school, still in braces to boot, she gawked at him with wide, innocent eyes behind her glasses. Shigaraki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Stupid teenagers. She was one of the very few that left him to his business and never bothered him, so he didn’t mind her. If she was doing so now, it must’ve been important.

He pulled an earbud out of one ear. “What?”

“I, um, sorry, Shimura,” the girl stammered. Had he scared her? Shit, that was stupid. Maybe he was a lot more on edge than he thought. “I got a call from my mom. Something came up with my dad and I... “ She fiddled with her hands as tears sprung to her eyes. “Would you mind if I went home? I know you opened, but I-”

The last thing Shigaraki wanted to do was stay later, but then the girl choked up and struggled not to cry. Normally, that wouldn’t affect him, but then it made him think of Yukiko crying about him leaving her at daycare. For some reason, the mental picture hit him like a semi-truck and his stomach did a weird flip. His therapist’s words came back to haunt him - he would start empathizing with others - and he hated it. He did not give a shit about this girl.

“Just go,” Shigaraki sighed in aggravation.

“I’m so sorry, Shimura,” the girl started to cry in earnest. “I’ll call someone to come in-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But your baby-”

Shigaraki stood up. “Go. I’ll get someone.”

The girl didn’t waste any more of his time. She nodded, spun on her heels, and ran out of the storage room. The next person didn’t come in for a few more hours, which meant that he wouldn’t be on time to pick up Yukiko. There were other people who could do it, but he was so particular about who was allowed. The employees were a little befuddled by his strict instructions, but they had gone along with it since they had heroes’ children as well.

By the time he stepped back into the main room, the girl was gone and the store was empty. He ran a hand along his jaw, thinking about how he needed to shave, and then fished his phone out of his back pocket. His first main struggle was who to call first. He didn’t want to become too reliant on anyone, but Uraraka was the newest person in his life. He didn’t need her thinking he was dependent on her. Fuyumi, however, was someone he had called in the past when he was desperate enough (because Touya could be helpful if it was important enough, but asking for his help was as painful as pulling teeth), so she was his best option.

After punching in her contact info, Shigaraki held up the phone and waited. It was at least a solid seven rings before she answered with a confused, “Hello, is everything okay?”

Why did she automatically assume everything was not okay?

“Are you busy?” Shigaraki asked.

“Well, I, um-”

Kids could be heard screaming in the background. Young ones, reminding him of the daycare. It was still the afternoon. He had hoped she was done teaching for the day, but honestly, he didn’t know her schedule. It suddenly shamed him that he didn’t. Out of everyone in his life, Fuyumi could perhaps be the first person who had helped him the most without ulterior motives. Maybe. Unless he counted Toga. She had always been gleeful about making him happy in the strangest of ways and never seemed to want anything in return except to have fun and not be judged for it. He couldn’t fault her for that.

“Shit, you are.” He’d known this was a mistake. Eventually, he was going to ask for help and someone would be forced to turn him down because of their own lives. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. He couldn’t be mad at her.

“I’m sorry!” Fuyumi exclaimed. “There’s a school event today and all the kids’ parents are here and-”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Shigaraki rubbed the bottom half of his face. It was fine. He couldn’t expect Fuyumi to be free at any given point to help him out. She had a job and a life of her own. She deserved that.

“What did you need?”

He plopped down in the chair behind the counter. At least they let their employees sit here. Apparently, some stores didn’t allow it even if no customers were around. “The other employee here had to leave for a family emergency, so I need someone to pick up Yukiko from daycare.”

Fuyumi actually, honest-to-god gasped. She was such a good person. Far too good for the likes of him and Touya. “Oh, that’s awful! I mean, it’s really nice of you to stay so she could leave, but still.” When she hesitated on the other end, he knew he wouldn’t like what she had to say next. “Have you tried Touya? He doesn’t work until nine.”

“Hell no,” Shigaraki replied without hesitating. “He doesn’t want anything to do with Yukiko. He acts like she’s a carrier for a deadly disease every time he’s around her. I’m not trusting him to pick her up.”

He could hear the smile in Fuyumi’s voice when she gently replied, “Okay, I understand.”

She paused as she thought his options over. He had tried to keep the whole Uraraka helping him out thing from Touya, but it was impossible with the way the two of them crossed paths with one another. Even if he had tried to pass it off like that, Touya for some reason hadn’t believed him and often questioned him about her, very amused every time he did. The truth was found out anyway when he exploded over Midoriya and Todoroki showing up at his place. Touya had been surprised. His little brother had not brought up the revelation yet. Nonetheless, Touya thought it was absolutely hilarious that a pro hero was willingly and happily helping him out. It was not.

(Uraraka was nice though. She wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d thought she would be. In fact, she was almost… pleasant. Warm to be around. It was a strange thought, one that he decidedly ignored.)

“Shigaraki?”

“It’s fine,” Shigaraki sighed. “Don’t worry about it.”

“O-okay,” Fuyumi stammered. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, have fun.”

Shigaraki hung up before she could offer to leave her family fun event at the preschool. Her life didn’t revolve around him and his dumb timeline. He had to figure something out. The next person on his list to call should have been the person he spent most of his time with (outside of his baby), but he didn’t. He couldn’t just call Uraraka. It was easier to text her. If he heard her voice, he knew he’d cave if she told him to do something. He didn’t like it - he hated it - but she made him feel like things were okay when they decidedly weren’t. Must’ve been a hero thing. She was good at calming people down. She did specialize in rescuing, after all.

His first text was vague: Hey, you doing anything this evening?

The moment he sent it, Shigaraki swore at himself. What the fuck kind of text was that? It made it sound like he was asking if she was free to do something with him. Fuck, she probably thought he was desperate at this point. Granted, he was, just not in that way. He just needed someone to get Yukiko from daycare. He didn’t care if they brought her here. Work would just have to deal with it.

However, Shigaraki was left to scribble on a piece of paper until he tore a hole in it before Uraraka responded a full thirty minutes later. A few people came in the meantime to buy games, but his eyes kept slipping back to the clock, reminding him that it wouldn’t be much longer before he was supposed to pick Yukiko up.

Sorry dealing with a mugger.

Fuck, she was at work. That was a no go.

Never mind

Everything ok?

Yeah

Shigaraki. Stop it. What is it?

Goddamnit. Even in texts, Uraraka was compelling. Was her quirk more than zero gravity? Dealing with her was like having the rug swept out from underneath his feet. He didn’t know how to handle her. One second she was the easiest person in the world to deal with, then the next he was at a complete loss and she… Some people might’ve said she amazed them. Shigaraki was not one of those people. She frustrated him, but not in an awful way. Just different.

I have to stay later for work and need someone to pick up Yukiko from daycare. I’ll figure it out.

Ugh! I would! I just sent off that mugger with the cops and on patrol for 4 more hours.

Busy day?

Why does everyone want to commit crime today? :( I wanna see my girl.

You can see her later if you want.

What was his deal? What was his problem ? She was just over three days ago. He’d felt guilty for his therapy session being so late (even though she had said it wasn’t a big deal), so he’d brought takeout home. It had made sense to him. He was starving after work and seeing his therapist. Uraraka was hungry after working all day and hanging out with Yukiko. It made sense to bring food and watch a movie while eating. It turned out that she had the same habit of watching television every time she ate at home. She had even managed to get Yukiko to sleep in the swing so they could eat quickly without interruption.

I’m gonna need it after this mess of a day. She always makes me smile.

So. Fucking. Cheesy.

You know it! :D
So what are you gonna do about Yukiko? Did you ask Fuyumi?

Yes
Fuck I’m gonna have to ask Touya.

Think he will?

The stupid bastard owes me. Either that or he’ll ask for something. But he’ll do it. Don’t worry about it.

Uraraka didn’t text back, presumably because she was caught up in work again - or maybe because she knew the conversation was over. He had come to find that she very rarely texted during work. Sometimes she didn’t even have her phone on her. He got lucky this time. He didn’t want to think she had been carrying it in case he called, but it was a relief that she’d answered, even if it meant he was shit out of luck and left to his last resort.

Touya. Fucking Touya Todoroki. Asking a favor from him was a terrible idea. Shigaraki hated it, especially when it involved his daughter. He was still on the list of people allowed to pick her up though. And it was better than calling up All Might, who he knew would pick her up but wasn’t on the list of approved people to do so.

Growling irritably to himself, Shigaraki clicked on Touya’s contact info and called him. It would be quicker and easier to get an answer out of him this way. He glanced at the clock on the wall. The asshole better not be asleep. He would sleep the whole day away if left to his own devices. It didn’t help that he worked late as hell.

Back in the last year of their League days, it hadn’t been uncommon to find Touya sprawled somewhere in their hideout passed out. After two years, he had finally been okay with them enough to leave himself in a vulnerable position like that. Trust them? Even Shigaraki wasn’t sure Touya had ever let himself do that. Toga had thought it was the cutest picture, the only time she wasn’t in a particularly stabby mood. She would’ve curled up next to him like a cat and fell asleep if she hadn’t known he would wake up violent and pissed.

There had always been that wall between them, even after he had admitted his identity to them. There probably always would be. Shigaraki didn’t kid himself on that. He hadn’t then and he wouldn’t do so now. Therapy couldn’t fix everything and it could only try to fix what a person wanted to change.. Seemingly nothing could fully penetrate the wall that Touya put up between himself and the world. Shigaraki knew well enough to leave it be.

The first call went to voicemail. He was asleep. Shigaraki was not one to give up immediately and he tried again. Chances were the first call had woken Touya up, but he’d ignored it. If the calls did not stop, he’d drag himself out of bed or wherever he was sleeping to answer it.

On the second to last last ring, the call was picked up and Touya’s rough voice snapped on the other end, “What?”

“Did I wake you, sleeping beauty?” Shigaraki shot back. Wrong response. He had called to ask for a favor, not insult him. He needed to be more delicate about this. There was also a chance that, if Touya was in a bad enough mood, he would not agree to help. He didn’t have to agree. He could say no. Yukiko was not his problem. Shigaraki was not his problem. He had been the one to accept the responsibility of a kid, not Touya. They weren’t exactly friends.

However, after a moment of silence, Touya said in a calmer tone, “No, you didn’t.” Calm wasn’t the right word. Thoughtful. Considering. Shigaraki narrowed his eyes but refused to let his brain jump to conclusions. “You’re calling instead of texting so it must be something important. What is it?”

“Are you busy?” Shigaraki asked.

There was another pause and then Touya responded, “Not anymore,” which didn’t exactly ease Shigaraki’s nerves, but didn’t make him totally suspicious either. Say Touya was doing something he shouldn’t be doing - something that could get him in trouble or maybe even sent back to jail. He wouldn’t have answered the call. He would’ve avoided it and lied about why he didn’t answer later. There was that at least.

Still, he was doing something, or had been doing something, and he was being more evasive about it than usual. He thought he was so damn mysterious and edgy.

“I’m stuck at work,” Shigaraki said. “I need someone to pick up Yukiko.”

“Fuyumi’s at that school thing tonight,” Touya supplied unhelpfully. It felt important that he knew his sister’s schedule. He cared enough to know. Either that or he was doing something at home that he didn’t want her around for. Best not to think about what that could be. “You try your girl?”

Shigaraki slapped a hand over his face. “She’s not-” There was no sense in arguing with him over this. “Uraraka is officially Uravity at the moment.”

“That’s a shame,” Touya deadpanned. “So I’m your last resort, huh?”

“I don’t like this either,” Shigaraki said.

“Oh no,” Touya replied, sounding incredibly pleased with himself. That wasn’t a good sign. “I’m loving this. You asking me for help? I wish you had texted me so I could’ve screenshot this moment and hung it on the wall.”

Shigaraki could hear the smirk in Touya’s voice, which made him want to try and strangle him over the phone. He kept his pinky finger raised, although there was a voice in the back of his mind that struggled to be heard, telling him to let it go and put his frustration to work.

“Are you gonna do it or not?” Shigaraki demanded.

“That depends,” Touya drawled. “What’s in it for me?”

“What do you want?” Shigaraki asked.

Touya hummed as he considered his options. To be honest, he probably didn’t actually want anything, but he’d come up with something specifically designed to piss Shigaraki off. He enjoyed making things stupidly difficult just to make them difficult so he wouldn’t come off as nice or helpful in any way, even if he was. And Touya was capable of being helpful. He was even capable of being nice. Shigaraki had seen it and not just with his siblings or mother. Near the end of their time as villains, Touya proved to be protective of Toga, understanding of Twice, pleasant with Spinner, and downright respectful of Compress.

He just didn’t like other people to know or get used to that side of him because then they expected things that he knew he wouldn’t always be able to uphold. Touya was capable of being nice - but he wasn’t, not anymore.

“Can I get back to you on that?” Touya finally said.

“It cannot be that difficult,” Shigaraki huffed.

“I want it to be good,” Touya replied, full of himself. “Because let’s be honest: I’m not just picking up Yukiko from daycare. I’m gonna have to watch her until you get off work.” Shit, he was right. Shigaraki winced. Couldn’t that girl have had a family emergency on his day off? No, things didn’t work like that, but still, it was piss poor timing. “And unlike your favorite pro hero, I don’t do babysitting for free.”

Of course he didn’t. He wouldn’t do babysitting at all if Shigaraki wasn’t so desperate.

“Whatever, fine, I don’t care.” It wasn’t like he had another choice. Shigaraki picked up the schedule book out from underneath the counter and opened it to see who came in tonight. Maybe he could call and convince them to come in early. That way Yukiko wouldn’t be with Touya for long. “She needs to be picked up in an hour.”

“Got it, boss,” Touya said flippantly.

Shigaraki did not flinch. He didn’t.

“Make sure you have your ID on you,” Shigaraki told him. Before Touya could make a joke, he added, “They’re going to ask you a few questions too to make sure you are who you are.”

Touya snorted. “Are you serious?”

“We worked with someone who could transform into anyone she wanted as long as she drank their blood,” Shigaraki shot back flatly. He couldn’t forget things like that and he knew, try as Touya might, he couldn’t either. Their therapy didn’t erase their memories, just helped them make more sense of a very confusing and conflicting past. “I’m a former villain. That puts a target on my back and therefore hers. It would be easy to use her to get to me. I have to consider every angle.”

“Damn, paranoid much?” Touya asked, but there wasn’t any heat in his voice. He understood. Fuyumi might’ve been a little weirded out. Uraraka would probably understand. It wasn’t just villains, current or reformed. Heroes had plenty of enemies to watch out for as well. It was easier for them not to have families to be used against them. (He did not flinch at the thought. He didn’t .) That was part of the reason why he’d agreed to enroll her in this daycare. If heroes used it for their kids, then there stood to be a little more security at least.

Shigaraki rubbed his temple. “I’m out of the game, but that doesn’t mean my enemies have forgiven me. And they’re out there. I’d rather not risk it.”

“No, I suppose not,” Touya said, somewhat distantly, as if he was thinking of something. Even if the man hadn’t loved or even actively liked his children, Endeavor had probably taken similar security measures for his offspring. He had been the number two hero with four kids. Any of them could be used against him. He didn’t have to like them, but he wouldn’t have been able to abandon them to a villain either. Too bad he hadn’t taken measures to ensure one of his kids didn’t become one of the villains he protected them from by being a good father. “You owe me extra if I have to fight any villains on my way home.”

“You better not fight at all,” Shigaraki retorted, even though he knew Touya didn’t mean it. He’d become more a fighter in a sense as time wore on. He could hold his own against heroes when he put effort into it instead of running away or relying on Twice’s quirk. His own quirk was stronger than most, but it took a lot out of him. Like most things in life, it came at a cost.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll leave it to the heroes,” Touya said dryly. “Anything else?”

“No, everything you need is with her,” Shigaraki told him. This was the part where he should thank him. This was where he should tell him how grateful he was for his help. Touya had been in the middle of something - what, Shigaraki neither knew nor wanted to know - but he had stepped up. He had done that a lot when they were villains. By the end, the authorities and media considered Dabi the right-hand man of the League. This was different. It was so painfully normal.

It was strange how, after almost two months, having a baby was normal now. Still weird but an everyday part of his life that he had come to expect.

“Right,” Touya said. “I’ll see you when I see you.”

That was closer to a goodbye than they’d had in years. Civilian life really was softening the both of them up. Shigaraki didn’t particularly like it, but there was little he could do about it too. His therapist would be pleased. He was making progress, getting more involved in his life, in his relationships. The man was thrilled that Shigaraki had remained in contact with Uraraka and formed an association with her. Such a big step for him. It made him feel a bit like a child.

Setting his phone aside, Shigaraki looked back down at the schedule again. That girl was due to work three more shifts this week. Judging from the way she had run out of here crying, there was a fat chance of that, so either one of the other employees would be forced to pick up her shifts or he’d be stuck working longer. Before, that would’ve only mildly irritated him, but he would’ve done it with little complaint. Now it inconvenienced him and he hated it. The world didn’t revolve around him and he knew that, but Yukiko ran on her own schedule and he didn’t like deviating from it.

He was considering going ahead and calling the next employee when the front bell rang, signaling the arrival of a guest. It definitely wasn’t another employee come to take his shift. He could never be that lucky. Since the person didn’t say anything, Shigaraki didn’t bother greeting them. He had found that most of the customers that came here wanted to be left alone to make their own decisions and purchases with minimal human interaction. That was fine by him, seeing as how he wanted the same thing.

Shigaraki’s thoughts were rudely interrupted when the person slapped their hands on the counter and snarled, “You look fucking ridiculous in that getup.”

Oh no. He knew that voice. As if his day could not get fucking any worse.

When Shigaraki lifted his gaze, he was met with none other than Katsuki Bakugou. He was wearing regular clothes, which meant he wasn’t masquerading as Ground Zero, but that didn’t make him any less dangerous. Shigaraki knew that, at least in the past, he could’ve been considered a volatile person, but that had nothing on Bakugou, who had made a brand name out of it. He was a damn good hero, resting somewhere between the number five and four ranks, depending on the public’s mood.

He’d probably be higher if he wasn’t such a raging asshole.

“What the hell do you want?” Shigaraki questioned, too tired to deal with another pro hero’s bullshit. Unlike the others, he knew for a fact that Bakugou was not here to offer his help. He had made it clear during his trial that he would be more than happy if both Shigaraki and Touya spent the rest of their lives rotting away in jail. Years had passed since then, but it looked like he still had a pretty black and white view of villains and heroes. At least Midoriya had that more evolved understanding going for him.

Bakugou tapped his a finger on the counter. “What I want has very little to do with this.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Was he not here about Yukiko? Come to accuse him of being a horrible influence and incapable of being a father - that he should give her up if he wanted to act like he was any good. There was no doubt in Shigaraki’s mind that Bakugou didn’t believe for a single second that he was reformed. He probably thought he was running some sort of bootleg or villainous activity in the backroom. Villains were villains and that was that. Shigaraki had mistaken him greatly in the beginning. He had thought the boy would understand.

He wasn’t about to make the same mistake now. Bakugou was likely to go off on him again. He might’ve simmered down in the past few years since graduating and becoming an actual pro, but the furious glare in his red eyes glowed like a warning sign. For whatever reason, he was pissed and he was barely holding it together.

“Then what is it?” Shigaraki demanded. “I don’t have all day for your petty complaints.” He waved a hand around. “As you can see, I’m very busy.”

“You think this is a joke?” Bakugou questioned.

“I mean, kind of, since you haven’t even told me why you’re even here,” Shigaraki responded.

Back when he had been a teenager, that might’ve set Bakugou off. Hell, Bakugou being here might’ve set him off. They’d both gotten older though, maybe even matured, which meant the two of them stared each other down. Shigaraki didn’t even know what he was doing it, except he felt like he had to assert his dominance over his domain. Yeah, it was a video game store, but it was his work and he’d be damned if some stupid ass hero made him feel like he didn’t have a right to be here. He was working to provide for his kid.

“I’m more interested in finding out what you want,” Bakugou stated.

Shigaraki almost threw his hands in the air. “What?”

“Like what you want with Ochako,” Bakugou finished. “What the fuck do you want from her?”

Everything came to a halt in Shigaraki’s brain the moment he heard her name. Bakugou was here...because of Uraraka? He had kind of figured something like this would happen, but after the confrontation with Midoriya and Todoroki in his apartment, he’d forgotten about it. She had told her best friend, who had been supportive if not amused by the situation. The whole thing seemed to blow over. No one really cared that much. They might’ve been a little anxious - and he admittedly couldn’t fault them for that - but they trusted her, if not him.

“I don’t want anything from her,” Shigaraki said, somewhat insulted.

“Then why are you hanging around her like a creep?” Bakugou demanded.

“Like a creep?” Shigaraki almost laughed. Oh, this guy was a trip - a really bad one that he hadn’t wanted to go on again. The first one had been his own fault. The rest of the times they’d clashed? Eh, probably his fault too. This time Bakugou had inserted himself into Shigaraki’s world and Shigaraki wanted him gone. “What the hell do you think is going on? That I somehow tricked or manipulated her into being around me? Trust me. I didn’t. In fact, I tried to do everything I could to not have her around, but you do not say no to that woman without good cause.”

And then, by the time he thought he did have a good enough handle on taking care of Yukiko on his own, Uraraka was just...in his life. Kind of like Touya. There was no exact reason for either one of them to stick around, but they did and it was easier to simply let it happen than resist. As much as he was used to being alone, his therapist in prison got him to admit that he liked being surrounded by people too. He’d kept strange company before. This was only a little different.

Bakugou chewed on his response and muttered something that sounded like, “You’re not wrong,” but then a hard expression came over his face again. He wasn’t going to give him any leeway. Shigaraki fought back an exasperated sigh. For the first time since he got a job here, he wished a customer or two would show up. Bakugou pointed an accusing finger at him. “I don’t give a shit what anyone says. I don’t trust you. I don’t believe you’re a good person simply because of how things ended with the League or that you went to jail or are in therapy. That doesn’t change all the awful shit you did.”

“I never said it did,” Shigaraki said flatly. Not that it mattered. Bakugou wasn’t likely to listen to him.

“I don’t know what your intentions are with Ochako-”

“My intentions?” Shigaraki interjected incredulously.

“-but I don’t like it,” Bakugou finished, completely ignoring the look on his face. “You’re a villain. Reformed or not, that’s what you are and that’s what people will remember you by.” He wasn’t wrong. If any of the other employees knew who he really was, they wouldn’t be nearly as friendly. He wouldn’t get invites out for drinks or people thanking him for taking their shift when they were hungover the next day. And the daycare employees… Who knew how they would react to having the former League of Villain leader’s daughter in their care? “Ochako is a good person. She’s an incredible hero. The last thing she needs is your shit dragging her down.”

What was this guy’s problem? Had he been born with a stick up his arrogant ass that made him think he was hot shit? Why had he ever thought that offering him a position within the League was a good idea? Well, hindsight was twenty-twenty and he was seeing a hell of a lot clearer now.

“I’m not doing anything,” Shigaraki replied heatedly. “Excuse me for trying to live my life, work my job, and raise my damn kid.” He smacked Bakugou’s finger away. “I don’t need your opinion. I’m not forcing Uraraka to do anything. I don’t think I could try at this point.” Not only would she kick his ass, because he had looked up her hero record and it was impressive, to say the least, but Yukiko would miss her. And he couldn’t upset her. “You ever try to argue with her? It’s not easy.”

Bakugou made a weird face, his cheeks turning red as if torn between agreeing and arguing for the sake of not agreeing with him. “Stop hanging around her.”

Shigaraki folded his arms across his chest. Despite the fact that he hadn’t wanted to get her involved to begin with and used to berate himself for it, he said, “No.”

Honestly, he was surprised a vein didn’t bulge from Bakugou’s temple. “No?”

“No,” Shigaraki repeated. “Uraraka is a grown woman. She can hang out with whoever she wants - even me, for some unknown reason. I’m not about to tell her what she can and can’t do. It’s not up to me and, quite frankly, it’s not up to you either.” Bakugou’s expression hardened, but his failure to respond told Shigaraki he was right. He was a lot more vindictive when he continued, “You wanna tell her what to do? Be my guest. I can tell you know how that’s gonna go. It’s her life, not mine, not yours. Are you that arrogant that you think you can control her? Because I’m sure as hell not gonna try.”

Bakugou stiffened. “I’m not trying to control her.”

“You sure about that?” Shigaraki retorted. “Because it sounds like you’re trying to police who she spends her time with behind her back.”

He didn’t say anything, just glared back, but Shigaraki knew he was right. Maybe that wasn’t Bakugou’s intentions, but he was forcing his will onto her life in a way and she probably didn’t even know she was here. Some friend. Heroes always assumed they were right - that they knew better because they were so good and they saved people and took out the bad guys. It was obnoxious as hell.

Shigaraki knew Bakugou thought he was better than him and not just because he hadn’t gone down the path of villainy. He had turned it down when given the option. Well, good for him. He’d had a great role model and not a puppeteer masquerading as a teacher and sometimes father. His parents had been alive to raise him. He had been praised his entire life for how strong his quirk was and how he would make a great hero. He’d been able to apply his intelligence in healthy ways. And when he had acted out, there were people around to correct him so he stayed on a path to success in a socially acceptable way.

“I just… I’m still allowed to care about her,” Bakugou finally said, much quieter than before.

“Yeah, well, care about her elsewhere,” Shigaraki replied.

When Bakugou lifted his eyes back to his, there was still fire in them. Red on red. Shigaraki wasn’t threatened. For as much bark and spark as there was in him, he knew Bakugou wouldn’t actually do anything. He could threaten, curse him out, and grip him by the shirt, but there were certain lines he couldn’t cross now that he was a pro hero and they were both very aware of that. Even if he had served time in prison for villainous activity, Shigaraki was a civilian now. Hurting an unarmed civilian unprovoked could get his license questioned or even revoked.

It all depended on Shigaraki. In a strange way, even though he was nobody, he held the power. He knew he was a petty person, so maybe, except he knew Uraraka wouldn’t be happy. Neither would Fuyumi. He was supposed to be getting better. He couldn’t disappoint. Besides, it wouldn’t be worth getting into trouble, not with Yukiko around. He’d prefer to stay out of the court system for as long as possible for any reason. Getting her official documents had been ridiculous enough.

“Listen up, you asswipe,” Bakugou snapped. “I fucked up her life enough as it is after we broke up. She doesn’t need scum like you getting her into shit-”

“Wait.” Shigaraki’s brain hit the brakes hard and fast. “What?”

Bakugou furrowed his brow. “What?”

“After you…”

Oh. Oh shit. The ex she had mentioned. The very serious relationship that had ended sourly after they couldn’t agree on their future. The one that hadn’t wanted kids or kept flip-flopping and then maybe was thinking about it now. The ex that very much broke her heart even though she skirted around the subject, made jokes about it, or referred to it flippantly. He hadn’t really understood why it was such a big deal and he wasn’t about to ask about it either. Her past was her past. If she didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want to hear about it, so it was a win-win.

But it had never occurred to him that the ex she was referring to was this explosive shit stain.

“You’re Uraraka’s ex-boyfriend?” Shigaraki exclaimed. “She dated you?”

Bakugou’s face turned red. “Yeah, you dipshit! For four years! How the…? Did you seriously not know?”

“Why would I know that?” Shigaraki retorted.

“Because our breakup and everything that came after was everywhere!” Bakugou shouted back, although he kind of sounded more confused than angry. “She couldn’t get through an interview after a villain takedown or rescue without a reporter asking her how she felt about things. It was frustrating as hell.”

Shigaraki rubbed his forehead where a tension headache had started to build. “Look, I might’ve been obsessive about heroes before and compiling information on them, but I literally go out of my way to stay far away from all that crap now. Shit like that isn’t even on my radar. Contrary to what you might believe: my world doesn’t revolve around heroes anymore. If I could avoid them entirely, I would.”

For a moment, Bakugou just stared at him, seemingly still in disbelief. When he spoke again, while his voice was lower, there was still a hint of indignation in it. “She didn’t… She didn’t mention me at all?”

“Her world doesn’t revolve around you either, you arrogant bastard,” Shigaraki huffed, folding his arms across his chest. Bakugou blinked, taken aback. The ego of some heroes… Unbelievable. There was a reason why pro hero Deku was higher ranked than Ground Zero. The stupid little shit was humble despite being confident. And that was the last time he was ever going to think of something positive about Midoriya. He was spending too much time with Uraraka. She was a bad influence on him. “Yeah, she did mention you, just not by name. I got the feeling you really did a number on her then, so why the hell do you think you can mess with her life now?”

“It didn’t do it on purpose,” Bakugou said.

“Maybe not, but this definitely is,” Shigaraki replied. “You really think she’d be happy if she found out you were here?” When Bakugou didn’t answer right away, Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. Was he not answering because he knew that Uraraka wouldn’t be pleased with his meddling? Or was he not answering because he genuinely thought Uraraka would be a little happy that he still cared about her and was trying to protect in some way? “You know what: don’t answer that question. Because I’m not gonna presume to know what she’d want either. You got a problem with this? You can take it up with her. And if you’re not gonna buy a game, then get the hell out of my store.”

Bakugou snorted. “This is how it’s gonna be, huh?”

“Yeah, it is,” Shigaraki said flatly. “You’re a pro hero and, like it or not, I’m a civilian now. Lay a finger on me and you’re the one committing a crime. I’m not doing anything wrong. You’re just mad that your ex is hanging out with someone you don’t like.”

“With a villain,” Bakugou interjected.

“Reformed,” Shigaraki corrected.

“I don’t believe it.”

“You don’t have to believe it,” Shigaraki stated coldly, “and honestly, I don’t give a shit either way. It doesn’t affect me. Because I’m not a villain anymore and I know that. Uraraka believes it too, so as far as she’s concerned, that’s all that matters.” What a dumbass. He’d thought Bakugou was an inconsiderate asshole friend. But an ex-boyfriend? Yeah, okay, he was being overprotective, but this wasn’t Shigaraki’s fault. “You done throwing a fit?”

Bakugou scowled and pointed a finger at him. “I’m not done with you. If anything happens to Ochako - if I hear that you made her cry or some other bullshit - I swear to gods I will end you.”

“Looking forward to it, hero,” Shigaraki retorted with an unpleasant smile.

With a furious gleam in his eyes that promised that he hadn’t been making empty threats, Bakugou turned on his heels to stomp out of the store. He slammed the door much harder than necessary, causing the open/close sign to fall off, but at least he was gone. Shigaraki dropped back into the seat behind the counter and rubbed his face with his hands. Well, that had been fun and eventful. He pulled his phone back out and typed out a short text that he knew Uraraka most likely wouldn’t get until she finished her patrol.

Just had a fun chat with your ex. He seems nice.

He hesitated before sending it. Maybe he shouldn’t. It would probably only stress her out. Bakugou probably wouldn’t confront her about it - at least not for a while. He seemed determined to not let Uraraka know of his involvement. He was meddling in her life where he shouldn’t, but at least he seemed to have the awareness to realize she wouldn’t want him there. Or something like that. Shigaraki couldn’t be sure it wasn’t a cry for attention. It sounded like the two of them weren’t on speaking terms. He wouldn’t know. He avoided all hero-related news. It wasn’t good for his mental health, so it was best to ignore it altogether, even something as dumb as a breakup.

He deleted the text without sending it. Best not to stir that hornet's nest. If it came up, he’d talk with her about it later. Knowing who exactly her ex was might’ve made him more hesitant to let her tell her friends about them. Instead, he typed out another text, this one to Touya.

Are you on your way to pick up Yukiko?

No response.

?? Hey asshole are you getting Yukiko?

Another five minutes and there was nothing.

I swear Touya if you forgot so help me

Relax worrywart. You’re such a dad. I got the wiggle worm.

One of these days, Shigaraki was going to throw Touya out a window. He should’ve done it back when they were in the League. Instead, he made him his de facto number two. He wasn’t even that smart. Asshole. At least he had picked Yukiko up. He didn’t have to do that. So he was good for some things. There was that.

Chapter 16: Tfw your kid does something new for someone else and not you

Notes:

This chapter was inspired by the many days I spent trying to get my daughter to roll over for the first time (she did it once an hour before New Year's Day and then Never Again) and also when I flipped my lid when my called text me saying that she'd tried to take a few steps on her own when I was gone for two hours. Also, I love Touya. He's the Worst but Best Uncle Ever. Just admit it, you bastard. The idea of Sero and his daughter with Setsuna is actually a product of ke_la that I borrowed because I fell in love with it a lot. And, uh, yeah, now he's gonna be featured in this a lot more than I originally planned.

Chapter Text

The last thing Touya wanted to deal with before his shift at work that evening was a baby, especially since he’d been in the middle of something a lot more fun. Or at least less stressful. He was getting less sure of that these days, which probably accounted for his sour mood. Back in the day, blowing off steam like this had been fun, exhilarating, and definitely stupid. Now he didn’t know. It was frustrating. He was free now. A civilian. He could, in theory, have things he couldn’t back when he’d been pretending that Touya was dead and he was a villain.

So why did he feel so restless about everything?

His therapist said he was still adjusting and it would take time for him to feel comfortable. He’d spent more than just those six years living on the fringes of society. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d been comfortable in his own skin. Even the word made him shift on his feet. Comfortable. What was that even like? Nothing about his life had ever been comfortable, including when he’d been in the League. Maybe, in the end, he’d started to feel it,  like he fit in with them, but that first year had been painful even though he’d finally had access to medical care for his scars.

Honestly, Touya didn’t mind his scars that much. He knew a lot of people looked at him sideways or were afraid of him just because of how he looked. (That and, according to some people, he had a very unapproachable, “fuck off” air about him, which he was glad hadn’t faded while he was in prison.) They made him stand out, usually in a bad way. With the right fancy lotion, Shigaraki could pass for normal. Seeing as he’d manage to produce a child, some people might even think he was attractive.

(Either that or Himura really just had a thing for villains since she’d been one herself.)

Touya knew he was different. The scars were his. He didn’t want to fully heal them. Fuyumi thought he was mad and he knew it upset her. The only reason he’d paid to have them partially healed was that the risk of infection and disease were too great. The medical procedure had put him in considerable debt, which was why he’d taken the first job he could get his hands on that promised legal, quick, and easy cash. Plus, Kurogiri had taught him a good amount about bartending, so he was better than anyone else on that bar’s shitty staff.

His father had offered to pay for the full procedure so his scars would be healed entirely. Touya would rather choke on his own blood. Some things couldn’t be repaired by therapy or money. Quite frankly, he was okay with letting that scar remain visible too. He didn’t want to heal the rift between them and he didn’t have to. Not all kids had to have relationships with their parents. Some of them weren’t healthy. As far as Touya, now in his thirties, was concerned, he had no need for a father.

Kind of like how Yukiko didn’t need a relationship with her biological mother. Damn, that woman was a bag of crazy cats and then some. Touya had done some shady (and deplorable) shit as Dabi, but he couldn’t imagine a woman murdering people while eight months pregnant. He knew that Shigaraki didn’t think himself much better, but, well, as dumb as he was for keeping the baby, he was trying to raise her right. Touya could begrudgingly admit that he might even admire his decision.

After all, Touya knew exactly what it was like to be abandoned and neglected by his father. Even though Shigaraki would have been within his rights - and probably considered much saner - to give Yukiko up, he hadn’t. He kept her. He took her in. He changed his life to revolve around her. He hadn’t had to do that. It was… good of him.

Oh, shit, maybe therapy and prison had done them both some good.

A year ago, Touya probably wouldn’t have agreed to go pick up a baby from daycare. He was due out of prison and didn’t even know where to begin to start his life. All he’d known was that he was going to live with Fuyumi. She had set it all up before he got out to make the transition easier. He hadn’t wanted to live with her at first, but it had been for the best and helped his parole officer go easier on him. Their father hadn’t approved, but Fuyumi had grown more independent and resistant against him since Touya had left home. That was what convinced him to move in without complaint.

He was also certain that the reason he’d agreed to pick up Yukiko was partly because Fuyumi would rip him a new one if he said no. Yeah, he’d been doing something, but it wasn’t particularly important. In a way, he had kind of used Yukiko as an excuse to end things early, which was a bad sign now that he thought about it. He wasn’t going to think about it. He would, however, remember that babies were good excuses. Next time he needed a reason to get out of something, he could probably just use her. It wasn’t like she was old enough to care.

The daycare was exactly what he’d expected: bright, obnoxious, and dumb. It appealed to the parents, making the building look like more than it was. What a fun, happy place! Filled with smiling, excitable, happy children! Who were cared for by attentive, considerate, happy employees! Touya fought the urge to stick his tongue out and mock gag. Who were these people kidding? No doubt Shigaraki had spent at least an hour doubting and casting suspicion on everyone who worked here after touring the place. There wasn’t a more paranoid person on the planet.

Taking a deep breath, Touya pushed the door open and stepped inside. He was immediately assaulted by the strong scent of air freshener, which was probably being used to disguise the smell of shit. There were ugly ass drawings proudly hung up everywhere. If he thought back hard enough, he could remember drawing with Fuyumi. He didn’t have an artistic bone in his body. All of his piss poor drawings had ended in the trash, which was exactly where these would go once handed off to the parents. It wasn’t their fault that their kids weren’t artistically inclined yet.

A young woman with bright yellow hair was at the desk, loudly smacking on a piece of gum. Great. “Can I help you?” She didn’t even look up at him. Eh, her loss.

“Yeah, I’m here to pick up Yukiko Shimura for her dad.”

The woman - actually, she was probably a recent high school graduate, now that he was closer - blew a bubble and popped it, smacking it in her mouth again. “Name and ID?”

Touya pulled his thin wallet out, pulled out his ID (one of the three cards in his useless wallet), and slapped it on the desk. “Touya Todoroki.”

It really was unfortunate how that last name made people’s eyes snap to attention. It wasn’t an uncommon surname, but people always had to look twice to make sure he wasn’t one of the Todoroki kids. Unfortunately for everyone, he was, although the scars and dyed hair hid it fairly well. Unfortunately, the scars and dyed hair also marked him as a very recognizable former villain, so any awe the girl might’ve felt at him being a Todoroki was quickly replaced by horror and shock at him being, well, Dabi.

The girl gaped at him. “You’re-”

“Running late, I know,” Touya cut in, although he knew that wasn’t what she’d meant. “I was told there were some sort of security questions? Yukiko’s dad is a paranoid nutjob.”

“Oh, um, I-” The poor girl fumbled. She didn’t even look at his ID. Not that she needed to in order to confirm who he was. After digging through the files under the desk, she found Yukiko’s and pulled it out, setting it on top of the desk and opening it up. “Uh…”

“It’s okay,” Touya replied in an almost patient tone. “I get this a lot.”

The girl flushed, clearly more out of anxiety than embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I just- I didn’t expect-”

“For me to look so handsome?” Touya responded. The girl made a strange choking sound. Ah, poor kid. He shouldn’t be so mean to her. She was only here doing her minimum wage job. “Happens all the time. Don’t worry about it.” She nodded quickly. At least he gave her a fun story to tell all her little friends. “So, what dumbass security question did he come up with to prove it’s really me?”

“Uh…” The girl looked down at the file and read off, “What did you say to him when you two first met?”

Touya snorted. “Oh, that one’s easy. I said he looked even uglier in person.” And then they tried to kill each other. That was how every great partnership started, right? “Anything else?”

“Er, favorite ice cream flavor?”

Damnit, the bastard had to go for something embarrassing. Grimacing irritably, Touya scratched the back of his head and looked away as he muttered, “strawberry.” It was such a basic flavor and the color was stupid, but ice cream was one of the things that always made him feel better. It cooled him down from the inside out. It was a bit like how ice was one of his favorite snacks, but he didn’t like people knowing. Shigaraki knew it was embarrassing and therefore something only he or one of the old League members would know.

“Okay, Mr. Todoroki-”

“Touya is fine.”

“U-uh, okay…” The girl flustered through putting the paperwork up. He took his ID back and waited for her to work through her issues. This wasn’t the first time he’d had this issue and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. His therapist was concerned he was further punishing himself, but Touya disagreed. It didn’t bother him. This was just life. “Right this way then. She’s in the playroom with the other babies.”

The girl practically ran out from behind the desk, down the hallway, and into one of the rooms. Considering that he had been prepared to get smacked in the face with an awful smell, the baby playroom wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t as bright as the other rooms, sticking to more gentle, pastel colors. Still ugly as hell, but he supposed babies weren’t in the age range to complain about decor yet. There were multiple babies in the room, some in swings, others in playpens, and a few on the floor, along with two other female employees.

“Dab-?”

The question was cut off when the person seemingly realized their mistake. Touya knew what they had stopped themselves from saying. The girl did too, judging from the way she was buzzing with nervous energy. Again, it didn’t bother him as much as being referred to by his surname. When he turned to see who else had recognized him, he was surprised to see a somewhat familiar face. One of the UA kids, now turned hero. Still, he couldn’t put a name to the face. He hadn’t cared enough to remember all of them, just the important ones and those close to Shouto. From what he could recall, this one was friends with Bakugou.

(There was definitely no forgetting that punk.)

“Ah, you don’t remember me, do you?” The hero gave a big awkward smile. It wasn’t surprising how many heroes were uncomfortable being around reformed villains. It was like they expected all criminals to stay in prison for the rest of their lives and to never cross paths with them again. Yeah, some of them got out and started living normal lives. Who would’ve thought that half the point of prison was rehabilitation?

Touya glanced at his arms. “Tape Guy?”

“Ha, yeah, that’s… That’s basically me.” Tape Guy held a kid in his arms. Was it a toddler? She looked old enough to walk and more aware of her surroundings, but clung to him, eyeing Touya very suspiciously. Smart kid. “So, uh, what are you doing here? I know you don’t have a, uh…”

“Oh hell no. Definitely not.” Touya shook his head. “I don’t have one of these things.”

Tape Guy grinned. “Things.”

“I’m just being a considerate, helpful citizen,” Touya drawled. While Tape Guy still looked a bit uncomfortable, he rolled his eyes, reminding him of how Uraraka reacted whenever Shigaraki did the same thing. “Picking up a kid for a… friend.”

“Oh, yeah, Shigaraki’s kiddo,” Tape Guy piped up gleefully.

Touya raised an eyebrow. Man, word really did get around. Then again, Shigaraki had given Uraraka the go-ahead to tell her friends if they asked. Had she told everyone in her phone? Called up all her old high school friends to give them the scoop on the poor former villain she was dutifully helping out? Ah, maybe he was being too harsh on her. She genuinely seemed to… care. Shouto was fond of her, so she couldn’t awful, but he was also best friends with Midoriya. His judgment was sometimes suspect.

“Mina told me,” Tape Guy continued. “I don’t know if you remember her. She’s, uh, pink?” Surprisingly, Touya did, in fact, remember her, but that was partly because it was kind of hard to forget someone that was bright pink. “Uraraka told her and Mina told me. She thought I might have some advice for Uraraka to give to Shigaraki since, you know,”  he bounced his kid in his arms, “I’ve got one too. Luckily, I haven’t had to raise her alone.”

“Huh.” That was… thoughtful. Gods, these heroes were ridiculous. They should hate them. They should never trust them. (Shouto shouldn’t want anything to do with him after what he’d done.) Some of them surely did. Touya wouldn’t want to cross paths with Ground Zero anytime soon. Not that he could do anything or Touya was afraid of him. He just didn’t want to see his dumb face. “You all are too nice. You know that, right?”

Tape Guy readjusted his hold on his daughter. “I’ve been told that once or twice.”

“You should tell Uraraka that,” Touya said.

“Right?” Tape Guy laughed awkwardly. “Not gonna lie: when Mina first told me that Uraraka was hanging around Shigaraki and his daughter, I was a little weirded out and confused. I thought she might be doing it partly to get back at Bakugou, but that’s not her style.” He smiled at his kid, who was still frowning. She must take more after her mother with her thick, wavy hair. Maybe if she smiled, she’d look more like him. He had a very standout smile. “I was still worried, especially after what happened between her and Bakugou, but things are finally looking up. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy - and I’m more than willing to give any advice. Raising a kid is a full-time job.”

After what happened between her and Bakugou? To get back at him?  Why would…?

The ex Shigaraki had said she’d mentioned. The one that hadn’t wanted to have kids with her. That ex was Bakugou, also known as Ground Zero, also known as probably the guy that hated their guts the most.

Touya almost laughed but settled on a snort instead. It was strange timing, considering what Tape Guy had been talking about, but he didn’t care, even if he did get a few weird looks.

“I’ll let him know that there’s another hero gearing up to help him,” Touya said. “He’ll enjoy that.”

Tape Guy shook his head. “I doubt it. That’s why we figured it’d sound better coming from her. It seems like they, uh, get along pretty well. But it’s hard not to get along with Uraraka. She’s always been like that.”

Yeah, no kidding. If someone was able to break through Shigaraki’s walls that fast, they were damn good. Either that or she had another quirk no one knew about, the kind of quirk that made people more comfortable around them. He’d heard of quirks like that. Therapists had them. His didn’t - he had gone out of his way to find one that was quirkless for reasons he didn’t want to consider - but it supposedly helped with more difficult clients. Some people needed that extra calming measure to help them open up.

Apparently, all Shigaraki needed was Uraraka. And maybe a baby. How a baby could calm anyone down when all they did was eat, shit, and cry was beyond Touya, but he wasn’t about to ask the hero who had willingly gotten married and started a family.

“Okay, well, great catching up with you, but I’ve gotta get this wiggle worm out of here,” Touya said, turning and walking away from Tape Guy before he could say goodbye. This was just a waste of time. He did not need to get dragged into Shigaraki’s weird shit with heroes. He had enough of that with Shouto and his friends and such.

Near the back of the room, Yukiko was lying on her stomach on a blanket, partaking in her daily tummy time. He vaguely remembered it from when Shouto was a baby. His mom saying it was important to help him grow and get stronger. He’d lie on the ground with his baby brother after training with his father, feeling too exhausted to do much of anything else. Their old man had let him hang around Shouto since he was just a baby.

“She’s such a good baby, yes, you are,” the woman with her cooed. “She doesn’t cry as much as most babies I’ve seen come through here.”

Well, it was only in the past two months or so that Yukiko had come to realize that crying would now garner her attention instead of going ignored. He knew what that felt like. His cries had mostly gone unheard too.

“Alright, wiggle worm, let’s blow this joint,” Touya said as he stepped next to her.

As if hearing his voice did the trick, once struggling with pushing herself upright, Yukiko pushed one last time and rolled onto her back. The moment he connected eyes with her, she threw her arms up. It startled him, especially when the employee gasped and began to loudly cheer as if the roll was the most marvelous thing she’d ever seen in her boring ass life. Hell, maybe it was.

“Good job, Yukiko! You did it! Yay!”

Before she could scoop her up and dote on her in a way that would make him uncomfortable, Touya bent down and picked her up. He wasn’t nearly as awkward doing it as they might’ve guessed. Their surprise was hard to miss when he held her properly against him and she immediately grabbed a fistful of his shirt with her cheeks pressed against his chest. They probably thought he’d never been around a kid in his life. Little did they know that he’d had to help raise his younger siblings for a while. He hadn’t done the best job, but he knew how to hold a damn baby.

“She rolled over,” Touya said blandly. “So what?”

“That was the first time she’s done it!” the woman excitedly explained. “I knew she was close, but she must’ve needed a little burst of inspiration for that final push.” She stood up and beamed at him brightly. “Hearing your voice and recognizing it must’ve helped her. She responded very positively to you. Oh, I’m so excited! Your papa will be proud!”

“What’s the big deal?” Touya asked. Had his mom been this excited when Shouto had done the same? He couldn’t remember. He’d probably been in training with his father at the time.

“It’s an important milestone in a baby’s first year,” the woman told him.

Behind him, Tape Guy whistled a sad tune. “Oh, man, I wouldn’t tell Shigaraki if I were you.”

Touya gave him an unimpressed look. “Why not?”

“Because he’ll probably be super pissed that he missed it,” Tape Guy said. He shook his head, wearing a look on his face that suggested he felt truly sorry for Touya. He didn’t like it. He didn’t need anyone to pity him for any reason, even if it was one as dumb as this. Yukiko rolled over. So what? Now she was a roly-poly. “I remember when I forgot to record Haruka’s first steps. Setsuna was so upset that I slept on the couch.”

“She kicked you out of bed for that?” Touya said incredulously.

“Oh, no, I just felt that guilty,” Tape Guy explained with a laugh. He lifted a hand, like he meant to pat Touya on the shoulder, and then thought better of it, pulling his hand away and giving him something between a grimace and a smile. “Good luck, dude. You’re gonna need it.”

Touya hummed thoughtfully as he considered Yukiko. “At least I wasn’t alone to see it.”

“Oh, no, no way.” Tape Guy shook his head. “Don’t drag me into this too. I’m fully content to help from the outside only.” He paused and then added, “Uh, no offense.”

“Being around reformed villains make you uncomfortable?” Touya asked as he took Yukiko’s backpack and swung one strap over his shoulder.

That grimacing smile stayed on Tape Guy’s face. “Only when they tried to kill me and my friends a few times.”

By now, the daycare employees had realized that inserting themselves into this conversation was not in their best interest. Either that or they would rather listen in to get more information. Civilians were so fucking nosy. They didn’t understand the concept of privacy. All those trashy magazines confirmed as much. He remembered them from back when he was growing up. Considering that he was a tabloid’s wet dream for all the shit that went on in his house, there was never much about Endeavor in those magazines. He kept his private business on lockdown.

Touya had always dreamed about spilling the truth to someone. Having all of Endeavor’s dirty laundry aired out for everyone to see. Watching the public turn on him when they realized was a piece of shit he was. His career would be over, taking such a severe hit that it would be impossible to recover from. Maybe they could’ve been saved somehow. After all, they wouldn’t have had to cover for him anymore. It would’ve been glorious. What a fucking meltdown.

It never happened, but a guy could still dream. He could’ve had it too, but instead, after everything that he’d done to ruin his father, Touya took the quiet route. He still wondered what would’ve happened had he not taken the plea deal - if he had let Shouto go on the stand the next day like he was scheduled. His lawyer alone had known the truth about the situation. She had been prepared to publicly eviscerate Endeavor, which first meant having his children answer honestly about their home life.

Touya thought he could do it. He thought he was ready. And then the night came and he…

Had he panicked? It was hard to say. He had all his dreams in his grasp and then he backed down before he could finish the job. He half-assed it, just like he had everything else in his life. Go figure. Dad was right.

“Well, like I said earlier,” Tape Guy said, “if Shigaraki needs any advice, run it through Uraraka.”

“All you heroes are ridiculous,” Touya grumbled as he walked out of the room.

“It’s in the job description!” Tape Guy called after him cheerfully, just like Uraraka. Maybe it was. He wouldn’t have been surprised.

The main reason he didn’t believe it was because Endeavor had never been this kind. His motto when it came to villains was no mercy. There was no such thing as redemption. Once a villain, always a villain. The irony was not lost on Touya. When it had come to his own treatment of his family, he hadn’t asked for forgiveness, not even the night Touya had taken the plea deal and faced the man alone for the first time in years. His father had not sought redemption the way others might have tried. The past had happened and he accepted his role in it and tried to be better.

Touya tried not to think about how it felt like he was doing the same damn thing as he walked to the train station.

“Ah, you’ve got a fucked up family, kid,” Touya sighed.

Yukiko made a laughing sound and clung tighter to his t-shirt. She didn’t seem to care.

*

By the time Shigaraki got off work, he was in a sour mood. He didn’t even try to hide it when his replacement came in, not early, but fifteen minutes late. The irritation radiating from him must have been so strong that it literally blocked his coworker from getting anywhere near him, which was fine by him. The second the guy strolled into the store like it was no big deal, Shigaraki clocked out and stormed out of the place like he was ready for a villain attack.

The fucking nerve of some people. It wasn’t like other people had places to be or kids waiting on them. Fuyumi was still at the school event, which meant that it was just Touya watching Yukiko. On some level, he knew that Yukiko was safe with him, but he still wasn’t sure of Touya’s babysitting capabilities. He didn’t know whether to trust him alone or only with Fuyumi around, but he hadn’t had a choice and, by some miracle, Touya had been willing to watch Yukiko.

I swear I’m gonna freaking murder that asshole for being late, Shigaraki texted once he got on the train.

A few minutes later, Touya responded: Better hope your probation officer doesn’t check your texts because that sounds incriminating.

He didn’t care. People texted like this all the time. It was normal to violently vent, wasn’t it? His therapist would be more concerned if he was holding in all of his emotions and letting them stew inside of him until he burst. That was what Touya did. He’d done it before as a kid, later on as a villain, and now as a regular adult. He had to be the most emotionally constipated person that Shigaraki had ever met and that included himself.

For some reason, while he sat on the train, Shigaraki was tempted to text Uraraka and complain to her, but he didn’t know if she was still at work. Probably not since she was on morning shift now. At any rate, texting her wouldn’t do him any good. He had already vented to Touya and probably would some more when he got to his apartment. He didn’t need for Uraraka to know that he had shitty coworkers. There wasn’t anything she could do about it.

By the time he made it to Touya’s place, Shigaraki had simmered down. He got stuck at work. His coworker was late. He was off work now and he had tomorrow off. It was over. There was no sense in having a meltdown over it. Before, when he had been a villain, at least in the beginning, he would’ve lingered on it until he exploded and threw a fit. Later on, he had started to control himself more when he had to be more of a leader, but his temper still got the best of him sometimes. His anger was one thing he could admit therapy had helped him deal with.

That did not make it any less annoying.

Shigaraki knocked on the door. “Hey, Touya, open up!”

Give me my fucking kid. Shigaraki didn’t know why he was being so aggressive about it. He just wanted to get Yukiko and go home so they could pass out. It was getting close to when he tried to lay her down. If he didn’t get her down soon, she wouldn’t go to sleep. He was on a clock and that time was running out.

The door jerked open to reveal a bored-looking Touya. “Took you long enough.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Shigaraki brushed past him to step inside. He almost forgot to take off his shoes, but did so at the last second. He wasn’t as particular about it at home and neither was Touya, but it would be disrespectful to Fuyumi to tread any dirt around her place. “When was the last time she ate?”

“Like thirty minutes ago. Don’t worry; I’m not going to starve the kid.” Touya gave him a bland smile that he ignored. No sense in letting him work him up even further after the day he’d had at work. “So where’s my payment?”

“Payment?”

Touya plopped on the couch in the living room. “Yeah, I don’t babysit for free, unlike certain pro heroes.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “Stop being-” He caught sight of Yukiko on her back. “Did you just lay her on the floor and forget about her?” He bent down to scoop her up carefully, glowering at Touya as he did so. When he looked her over, she seemed fine. There was nothing wrong with her and she looked content. “What the hell?”

“Nah, she did that herself,” Touya said as he picked up his gaming controller. Shigaraki’s controller. The asshole hadn’t given it back. He’d had to get another one so that Uraraka would be able to play too when she came over. At least he hadn’t destroyed it like last time.

His words finally caught up with Shigaraki when he determined Yukiko was perfectly fine. “She what?”

“Yeah, she rolled over on her own,” Touya continued as he started up a game. “She did it at the daycare when I got there to pick her up. Everyone was so weirdly excited like it was some sort of big deal, but now she won’t stop, so I just let her keep doing it.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“Nope.”

Shigaraki tried to reign in his frustration. He really did. He didn’t want to explode with Yukiko in his arms. Startling her for any reason always made him feel so damn guilty. He never meant it, but babies were so easy to scare. If he so much as left her sight before she was asleep, she panicked. Still, he was… He wasn’t pissed because that would imply he was pissed off at Yukiko, which was ridiculous. He was mad, but not at her and not even at Touya. Maybe his coworker again.

“I have been… I have been trying to get her to roll over for weeks. She was so fucking close, but she just wouldn’t do it. Like she was holding back on purpose.” Holding her in one arm against his chest, Shigaraki rubbed his temple with his other. “Of course she does it when you’re around and not me. Of course you see it first. I’m only with her all the time unless I’m working or in therapy. I have been practically living on the floor, just trying to get her to do it, and then she randomly does it the one fucking time I get stuck at work and you pick her up.”

Touya snorted. “It’s not that big a deal. Everyone does it.”

“Yeah, but it was the first time she did it on her own,” Shigaraki complained.

“She’ll do it again and you’ll get sick of it, trust me.” Touya leaned back, resting his head against the back of the couch and sighing. “You didn’t miss anything important.”

“I missed the first three months of her life!” Shigaraki snapped. “I don’t want to miss anything else.”

Touya looked over to him without lifting his head from the couch and stared at him for a beat. Honestly, Shigaraki was a little embarrassed over his outburst. He was just tired. That was why it had slipped out. It wasn’t untrue though. Even though he knew it wasn’t his fault, he had missed those three months. How much had changed about her in that time? How much had he missed out on? How much had she because Himura didn’t take care of her properly?

“Ah, that’s what you’re freaking out about,” Touya surmised.

Shigaraki held Yukiko closer to his chest and grumbled, “I’m not freaking out.”

“It was three months and it wasn’t your fault when you didn’t even know she existed,” Touya pointed out. It was as close as he got to comforting someone. He didn’t do comforting. Even now he was somewhat sharp and rough around the edges, but that was just him. Shigaraki would never expect him to be kind and considerate of his feelings, especially when he wasn’t himself. “Besides, you could’ve been worse. You could have had her for the sole purpose of whipping her into your idealized version of yourself. I’d have rather my father didn’t know about my existence.”

“Well, you almost succeeded.”

Touya hummed thoughtfully. “Almost.”

Sighing, Shigaraki pulled his daughter away and held her away from his chest so he could stare her down. “I can’t believe you rolled over for the first time for that jackass after everything I’ve done for you.” All Yukiko did was stare back at him with her innocent red eyes. “You could’ve at least done it for Uraraka. That wouldn’t have been as bad.”

“You’re gonna choose a pro hero over me after everything I’ve done for you?” Touya griped half-heartedly, most of his attention on the video game. “That’s cold.”

“She doesn’t demand payment and favors,” Shigaraki said as he searched for the backpack. Realistically, he could afford to get an actual diaper bag, but he didn’t see the point when a backpack worked just fine. Sure, the people at the daycare gave him an odd look every time he handed over the slightly worn thing, but he didn’t care. It did the job.

“Does she ask for daily reports about Yukiko?” Touya asked.

“She just likes to stay in contact with her,” Shigaraki said. He awkwardly slung a strap over the shoulder opposite of the arm he was carrying Yukiko in. He had to shift her over so he could get the other strap on or the thing would slide right off his arm. It had happened more than once and he felt like a dumbass every single time. “And it’s not daily.”

Touya snorted. “Or maybe she’s using Yukiko as a means to keep an eye on you - make sure you’re not doing anything suspicious or harming the kid.”

“Stop it,” Shigaraki snapped.

“What?” Touya peered back at him. “Someone’s gotta stay sharp if you’re gonna go soft.”

Shigaraki sneered. “Because you’re not a hypocrite when it comes to your baby brother, the big Number Two.”

Touya stiffened on the couch, his video game character dying in the background on the screen, but he didn’t argue either, which meant that Shigaraki had hit a sore spot. Whatever. It didn’t matter. The point of their therapy and being back in society was that they didn’t get stuck on their issues with heroes anymore. Their cognitive dissonance about heroes was most likely something they would have to deal with for the rest of their lives. No one said reformation was easy or fun.

Finally, Touya looked away. “I’m just…”

“What? Concerned?” Shigaraki shook his head. “That’s not like you.”

“Not concerned, you jackass,” Touya retorted. “It’s not like you - okay, it’s not like either of us - to open or warm up to people quickly.” He wasn’t wrong there. It took far too long for him to be comfortable speaking honestly with his current therapist and even then it wasn’t all the time. Touya, he knew, was no better, if not worse. “And it’s not like you suddenly became an open book or the warmest person on the planet, but…” He frowned. “You are different with Uraraka.”

Shigaraki did not like that assessment one bit, but maybe he wasn’t wrong about it either. “I didn’t do it for myself.” It had been for Yukiko. He had needed help and he knew it. Nowadays, it would just be weird to cut off contact with her since it was obvious that his daughter adored her so much. He could handle any sort of awkwardness between them for her. “I didn’t have much of a choice.”

“Did you not?” Touya asked. Shigaraki couldn’t answer that. He swore he didn’t. “Maybe you didn’t. I don’t know. All I know is that I’ve never seen you like this with someone before.” Shigaraki tensed up and grit his teeth. Was he that different around her? He didn’t feel like he was. He hadn’t seen the point in acting like someone else. Uraraka could deal with it or leave. He was who he was. Pretending to be something else was worthless. “Granted, I’ve also never seen you interact with a baby, so that might be a part of it too.”

“You’ve got too much time on your hands if you’re thinking about this,” Shigaraki told him.

Touya shrugged. “You might be right about that.”

“Shouldn’t you like take a nap or something before you go in for work tonight?” Shigaraki questioned.

“Who’s the concerned one now?” Touya quipped.

“I’m not.” Shigaraki slid his shoes back on at the door. “But you shouldn’t slack off at work. You better pay your half the bills. Fuyumi isn’t here to take care of a freeloader.”

Touya was surprisingly quiet when he replied, “I know.” He lifted one hand from the controller while pushing buttons with the other. “I’ll get back to you on that repayment for this favor.”

“Whatever,” Shigaraki muttered. He wasn’t even mad about that anymore. He’d expected it of Touya and he hadn’t disappointed him in the slightest. All he cared about right now was getting home and getting to bed. At this rate, it was going to be a pain getting her to lay down. Maybe, if he let her fall asleep in his bed, he could move her to her sleep nest once she was knocked out. She’d think he let her sleep with him. Yeah, that trick could work. He would just have to make sure that he didn’t fall asleep in the process.

Opening the door, he stepped out of the apartment. He was tired. The trip home wasn’t that long, but it would’ve been arduous on his own, much more so with a baby in tow. From the way she was squirming and grunting in his arms, she wasn’t pleased about being out and about at this time either. It looked like she wanted to be home too. This was going to be a fun trip, especially if she got really fussy. Fuck it. Maybe she could just sleep in his bed. He honestly didn’t give a shit about it right now.

*

So she rolled over for the first time.

Shigaraki wasn’t sure why he felt the urge to tell Uraraka that, but it was probably something she would want to know. He could just picture the disappointment on her face when she realized that she was days late in finding out Yukiko could now officially roll from her stomach to her back on her own. It sounded like the kind of thing she would get all giddy and excited about.

Omg! That’s so exciting! Yup, there it was - Uraraka’s unbridled excitement whenever it came to every dumb, little thing Yukiko did - just as he’d expected. Did you get pictures?

No, she did it at daycare when fucking Touya went to pick her up.

Did HE get pictures?

What do you think?

Awww that’s too bad. :( But you’ll be there for plenty of her other firsts!

What if I’m not? What if I miss everything?

Why was he panicking about this now on the train? It was so utterly stupid. He knew the questions were lame. He knew it was unrealistic to be present to see every, little thing in Yukiko’s life. He’d gotten a handle on delegating when he was the leader of the League. Before, he had wanted to do everything himself, but he had been forced to learn how to trust others to do things and carry out missions on their own.

Surely the same came with raising a kid. He had to trust the daycare employees to take care of Yukiko. He trusted Uraraka not to whisk her away to raise her solely among pro heroes. To be honest, he wasn’t worried about that anymore. Maybe he had been a little paranoid about it in the beginning, but while they sometimes snarked at each other (which was admittedly unavoidable when dealing with him), she had proven to be, well, compassionate and even thoughtful.

He didn’t mind being around her, which was saying something. She was easy to be around. Plus, she usually knew the right things to say that took off the edge of everything weighing down on him. That was truly a wonder. Even Touya backed off if Shigaraki was worked up enough, but Uraraka was able to face him down without even blinking.

Well you can’t see everything either, she finally responded. That’s just life. You’ll be there with her for the big things tho. That’s what counts.

How are you so positive about everything? He didn’t understand. No one could be this positive and honest about it at the same time. All Might’s had even been a little fake in the end.

Sheer stubbornness and maybe a little denial. She was even honest about that. Go fucking figure.

That’s the spirit.

Hey I’m trying here. I just got off work and I am BEAT. I got held up because someone decided to rob a jewelry store.

That’s so cliche. Jewelry is difficult to sell on the black market these days. Fences are so picky.

That almost sounds like you know from experience, but I didn’t think that was your MO.

It definitely wasn’t. It’s stupid and I don’t know shit about jewelry or any of that stuff.

Well now I know you’re not the type of guy that buys a girl a necklace.

I’ve never even seen you wear jewelry.

I didn’t say I wanted you to buy me some. :P

Shigaraki scowled at his phone and jammed it into his pocket. He didn’t need Uraraka teasing him like that. It just made him think of what Touya had said and he didn’t want to think about that either. A part of him expected to feel his phone buzz in his pocket, alerting him to another text, but it didn’t. She didn’t add on anything else. Was he that predictable or was she just good at reading the end of their conversations? She rarely ever texted again once he was finished with a conversation, as if she somehow knew she wouldn’t get a response.

He didn’t like either one of those answers. It implied things he didn’t want to get into when he was so tired. Yukiko had fallen asleep in his arms on the train, the rocking of public transportation lulling her to sleep, but he didn’t have the ability to do the same, not when he was holding her. What if someone took her right out of his arms while he was knocked out? Kidnapped her right in front of him and he woke up with her gone? What would he do then?

Goddamnit. No one had warned him that he would worry about the most ridiculous things when he became a parent. Of course, no one had thought they needed to warn him since it didn’t seem likely that he would ever become one, to begin with. Life was stupid and absurd that way. He just had to roll with it like everyone else, but sometimes it felt like he had a lot more punches coming his way than most people.

Shit. He’d forgotten to tell her about Bakugou showing up at his store yesterday afternoon. He hadn’t even told Touya. The whole “Yukiko rolled over for the first time and I fucking missed it” had thrown him off completely. Maybe he shouldn’t. She might get anxious about Bakugou visiting him. It had sounded like the end of the relationship had hurt her and, seeing as how he was seeing someone else, she was clearly doing her best to put the past behind her. Besides, he knew that Bakugou wasn’t about to say anything to her. He was too prideful and Shigaraki had nicked it.

Ah, fuck him. If it came up, Shigaraki would say something. If not, screw him. He had put the past behind him as well and that included Ground freaking Zero.

Chapter 17: you're really growing up, kid

Notes:

This is a shorter chapter, but I had a blast writing it. We've got a surprise visitor! (I'd say more, but my migraine is like LOL no. What can you do?

Chapter Text

Another day, another dollar. At least that was what Shigaraki kept telling himself at work. The morning shift wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be, but things took a turn for the worst an hour before his shift ended. Uraraka sent him a text, but unlike her usual, silly ones that made him want to simultaneously roll his eyes and almost maybe smile, it was an actual serious one that made him frown.

I’m so sorry but I can’t come over on Thursday! the text read. He could hear the grief in her voice, begging him to know she meant it. Uraraka was such an earnest person, a lot like Midoriya. Although it was annoying, it did make her easy to read. There was a massive earthquake in China. Multiple heroes were called to help, including me. You know I would never do this unless it was serious. Please don’t think I’m blowing you or Yukiko off.

Shigaraki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Uraraka’s visit wasn’t even to make sure he could make an appointment. It was just the best time for her to come over. She was over two days ago too. His therapist had been forced to cancel for a family emergency, but Uraraka since was already there, they went to the park together. Weird but...not bad. She made him push her and Yukiko on the swings. Again, it wasn’t bad.

Maybe Touya was right about him getting too soft.

Maybe her not coming over was a good thing.

It’s fine.

Omg you’re mad. I know this was last minute.

I’m not mad. It’s an earthquake ffs. Your quirk is naturally suited to help people in that situation.

Thank you for understanding. I’m already on the plane. It’s been chaos since I was alerted, but I wanted to let you know before I went dark. I would never bail on you unless it was serious.

He could sense the panic in her voice through the text alone. It wasn’t just Yukiko that she was worried about; it was him too. She was genuinely worried about him being mad at her over one small thing. Was she used to walking on eggshells? Granted, if her last boyfriend was Ground Zero, he could see that.

Wait. Did that mean she thought he had the same temperament or temper as Bakugou?

I’ll let you know when I get back.

Ok that’s fine

Wait. Maybe I shouldn’t. These situations tend to mess me up emotionally. I don’t want to put that on you.

Just let me know. Come over. Idc

You’re so comforting.

It was weird - seeing the way he normally ended a conversation thrown at him. Shigaraki somehow knew it was the end of the conversation, so he shoved his phone back into his pocket. Uraraka must have waited until the very last minute to text him to make sure he wasn’t busy. This was around the time he got off work and picked up Yukiko from daycare so he still had time to respond to texts. She was too considerate. She needed to learn how to be selfish once in a while.

After picking a very sleepy Yukiko up from daycare, he walked to the train station and hopped on one right before it departed. A part of him wanted to wake up Yukiko so she would sleep tonight, but she looked genuinely zonked out. They did say she was struggling to take naps at daycare. She must’ve been exhausted. She’d fallen asleep within minutes of being in his arms. Normally he walked to work, but he’d opted for the train today since he had to run a few errands before picking her up.

Walking around his neighborhood at night had never bothered him before, but Shigaraki found it a little disconcerting with Yukiko in his arms. He wouldn’t be able to protect her properly. Even though it made things difficult, he didn’t wear his gloves when he walked the few minutes to his apartment. He could hold her with three or four fingers touching her. In case something did happen or someone thought to take advantage of him having a kid in his arms, he wanted to be prepared to fight back. Tugging off his gloves would be pointless. He’d be stabbed and dead by then.

However, as usual, nothing happened. He made it to his apartment just fine. Yukiko would have a red mark on her cheek by the time she woke up. The side of her face was pressed against his shoulder, her mouth wide open. Maybe he’d go ahead and lay her down when they got inside. Maybe he’d lay down too. It was early as fuck, but if she woke up at three am, he wouldn’t be as regretful about staying up.

Moving her to one arm, Shigaraki fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his door. He kind of wanted to put her to bed and turn on the tv. He didn’t watch the news, but a part of him wanted to see if there was anything on there about the earthquake Uraraka had mentioned. Not that he didn’t believe her - she wouldn’t lie about something so serious just to get out of watching Yukiko or hanging out - but he was...curious. An event large enough to warrant heroes from other countries was a big deal.

He would know.

He flipped the light switch, already stepping in the direction of the bedroom.

Only to nearly jump out of his shoes when he heard someone cheerfully greet, “Good evening, Tomura!”

Shigaraki’s heart damn near burst out of his chest as he swore and pressed his palm against the wall, keeping his pinky raised. “What the fuck, Sako! Do you know how to fucking knock? Call first? Wait to be let inside? Were you just hiding in the dark waiting for me to come home? Fucking goddamn.”

Atsuhiro Sako, formerly (currently?) known as Mr. Compress, pulled one of his signature masks off to reveal a smile. He wasn’t wearing a balaclava similar to the one he’d donned as a villain. A mask under a mask. Shigaraki could never decide whether it was stupid or cool. It was hard to say. They’d worked together for three years and he still didn’t know much about him. Compress - no, it was Sako; his therapist impressed upon him the habit of using their real names now - had vanished as quickly as he had appeared when the authorities finally closed in on them. Shigaraki hadn’t even been mad about it. At least someone was able to get out of there...well, mostly intact. Sako had lost an arm in the process.

“I apologize for the fright,” Sako said, not sounding apologetic one bit. The guy was kind of arrogant. Of course, he had a right to be so: he was one of the most intelligent people Shigaraki had met, proven by the fact that he was the only member of the League to have never been caught. Technically, he was still wanted and at large, although no one had seen him in years.

“Yeah, yeah, sure you do.” Shigaraki kicked his door shut and winced when it hit louder than he anticipated. The sound startled Yukiko awake. She jerked her head upright and looked around blearily in an attempt to find the source of the noise. Shit, of course. “What are you doing here?”

“Just checking up on you,” Sako insisted innocently. “Touya told me you had a child. It was something I had to see for myself to believe.”

Shigaraki stilled in the middle of slipping the backpack off and stared Sako down. “You talked to Touya?” And the bastard hadn’t said anything to him? What the fuck? “When?”

That was exactly the type of thing he should have told him. This could get them both into deep shit. Why hadn’t Touya said anything? It was suspicious as fuck and the type of secret that would drive the wedge between them. Mr. Compress had never paid for the crimes he committed while affiliated with the League. He escaped while everyone else had been handcuffed and locked away in various places, be them jail or mental institutions. Sure, he shouldered more blame than anyone anticipated, which helped lighten Touya’s sentencing, but he hadn’t gone to jail for any of it.

Realistically, Shigaraki should call the cops right now, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. Sako would only escape again. Besides, he’d called in one villain in the past few months. That met his quota. No one knew a villain was in his apartment and no one would ever know. And, to be honest, he didn’t feel like turning Sako in. Arrogant as he was, Shigaraki didn’t hold a grudge against him for slipping away. He rather preferred it. On their good days in prison, he and Touya would try to figure out where Compress had gone or even come from.

“Not too long ago,” Sako answered. “You didn’t receive his message?”

Shigaraki pulled his phone out to reveal a handful of missed text messages (the one that showed on the screen was a pleasant, Answer your fucking phone you stupid dipshit ) and a call from Touya. Oh, shit, he’d accidentally put it on silent when he shoved it into his pocket. No wonder he didn’t get them. Any other person would have felt guilty for immediately jumping to conclusions about Touya possibly slipping into problematic behavior, but Shigaraki was not that person. Touya would’ve done the exact same had their situations been switched.

“To be honest, I heard a rumor you had a child, but I didn’t think it was true,” Sako explained.

“A rumor,” Shigaraki murmured thoughtfully. He set his phone down on his shitty table and dropped the backpack on the floor next to it. He didn’t like the sound of that. If other more active villains found out he had a kid, there was no telling what would happen. Retaliation had been an often occurrence while in prison. So far, on the outside, the only villain he’d come face-to-face with was Himura - and, well, now Mr. Compress. He had a feeling Himura was a little more aggressive.

Sako held out a hand. “You’re still well-known in those circles.”

“Run in them often, do you?”

“Not particularly,” Sako admitted. “You could say I’m retired - the old man’s version of reformed - but it doesn’t hurt to keep an ear to the ground, just in case. Staying well-informed about any unusual or interesting events from old friends and foes alike usually means staying alive, which I would prefer.”

He wasn’t wrong. As much as he literally did not give a shit about hero events anymore (there was no telling if Uraraka would be on the news for that earthquake or not), Shigaraki didn’t like being out of the loop when it came to the opposite side. He truly wasn’t interested in being a villain again, but not knowing anything made him feel exposed. He had a blind spot now. If an old enemy decided they wanted to settle a score with him, he likely wouldn’t know until it was too late.

After eyeing Sako carefully, Shigaraki propped Yukiko up on the couch against a pillow. She liked sitting like that. Maybe it made her feel grown or something. “Keeping tabs on me then?”

Sako twirled his signature cane between his fingers. “Just checking in here and there. I’m happy to see you’re doing well. I’ll admit I was…concerned about how you and Touya would adjust to civilian life.”

Shigaraki snorted as he wandered into the kitchen to get a drink. It was weird as hell and extremely boring. Sometimes it was awful. Sometimes he even missed the lack of responsibility that had come with being a villain. Sure, he’d been the leader of a criminal organization, which meant a shit ton of responsibility, but at least he didn’t have to worry about taxes or utility bills.

Another smile pulled at Sako’s lips. He waved a hand at Yukiko trying to maul a toy to death with her gums. “It seems like you’re fitting in fine. Parenthood is a huge step.”

“It wasn’t a planned one,” Shigaraki muttered before downing half a glass of water.

“May I?” Sako asked, pulling his gaze from Yukiko to Shigaraki.

He considered it for a moment before nodding his head. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust him, but it wasn’t like he did either. They had a lot of history between them. He might even stretch it and say it was mutual respect. Despite the fact that Shigaraki had gone to prison and “reformed”, Sako did not seem to bear a grudge against him for doing a one-eighty. He hadn’t seen Twice or Toga since their trials. Technically, he hadn’t seen Spinner either, but they talked online when gaming together in the middle of the night.

Sako was different. He’d not attempted to reintegrate into society. He could easily be disgusted by Shigaraki’s change and, even though he was better now, he wouldn’t be mad at him for it.

After setting his mask and cane aside, Sako walked over to Yukiko and crouched down in front of the couch. He carefully tugged off the glove of his good hand. “She has your eyes.”

“Red, I know, yeah.”

“No, wary ,” Sako corrected. He held out his hand. Yukiko looked at it before deciding he was okay and taking one of his fingers. She tightened her grip on her toy, biting down on it harder, like she was worried he might try to take it from her. Fuyumi said a tooth was coming in, which might have accounted for her being even grumpier than usual. “You’ve been through a lot in your young age, haven’t you?”

Shigaraki leaned back against the counter. “How much did Touya tell you?”

“Enough.” Sako frowned at him. “Did neither Kurogiri nor All for One give you the Talk?”

“They-” Shigaraki slapped a hand against his face. “I thought I used protection. I think I did. I...can’t remember.” When Sako gave him a knowing look, he dragged his hand down his face. “I had a lot to drink and I hadn’t drank in a long time. It’s not like they offer you alcohol when you’re in prison and I didn’t have a lot of time to build up a tolerance when I was operating as the leader of the League.”

“Well, clearly, even if you did use it, you didn’t use it properly or it broke,” Sako pointed out, as if he needed it. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter what he had or hadn’t done. Evidence of his misjudged actions that night were sitting propped up on his couch. “How are you handling things?”

Shigaraki snorted. “Marvelously.”

“And civilian life?”

“I just love working a retail job, paying taxes and bills, and getting shit on by idiots who used to piss their pants when they heard my name.” Shigaraki flexed fingers. They got stiff occasionally, so he often found himself wiggling, flexing, or stretching them when he wasn’t thinking - or when he was thinking too much. It might’ve had to do with his quirk and lack of using it. If Touya didn’t use his quirk every so often, it ate right through him. “It’s whatever. It’s life. I either play this role or I fall back into old, familiar habits and risk going back to prison and I-” He watched his daughter stare almost suspiciously at Sako. “I don’t want to do that. She deserves more.”

Sako’s shoulders dropped, more in relief than disappointment. “You really have grown, Tomura.”

“I’m nearly thirty,” Shigaraki griped. “I better have.”

“You were hindered in a lot of ways,” Sako said.

Scraping the side of his glass with the nail of his pointer finger, Shigaraki asked, “Did you and Kurogiri chat about that behind my back? Pass on stories of when I was the little, traumatized brat All for One pulled out of a ditch?”

“No,” Sako said honestly, “but I figured it out on my own before the truth came to light.”

It wasn’t like him to be so forward. He liked the theatrics of things. He liked people knowing he was smarter than them. Before, he might have gloated about figuring out All for One had been using Shigaraki all along. Hell, he had probably known Touya was a goddamn Todoroki before everyone else; he didn’t act nearly as surprised as he should’ve been. Sako was a man who knew he was intelligent and enjoyed lording it over everyone, even when it made him look like a bastard. He didn’t care. He didn’t need to care.

“What are you going to do about her?” Sako asked.

“Raise her,” Shigaraki answered bluntly. “What the hell does it look like?”

“On your own?” Sako pressed, sounding unimpressed.

Shigaraki tensed. “I’ve got help.”

Sako smiled. “Touya doesn’t count. He’s got a lot of his own issues and you know that.”

“Other than Touya,” Shigaraki shot back mockingly, “who I wasn’t counting anyways.” He’d been counting Fuyumi. No way in hell was he going to count the guy who gave him a glove filled with warm milk for his three-month-old baby. Idiot. “What? Worried I can’t hack this parenting thing either?”

“I didn’t say that,” Sako said.

“But you’re thinking it,” Shigaraki accused. “Don’t worry; you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. No one’s believed in me.”

That...wasn’t exactly true. Uraraka helped him that first night, but she had, in her own way, trusted him to work this out. Touya didn’t think him capable of it at first, going so far as to suggest him safe dropping Yukiko, but he hadn’t argued with him since. Fuyumi hadn’t told him outright that she didn’t think he could handle it. Even… All Might merely said that Shigaraki would need help. Shigaraki could feel their judgment; he could sense that they sort of thought he’d try this being a dad thing for a few months and then pass her off when he couldn’t take it any longer. Maybe they didn’t think that anymore, but it was there in the beginning.

At least he thought it was there. It was getting harder to tell these days.

Taking a deep breath, Sako returned his attention to Yukiko, who still held his finger in a death grip. When she removed the toy from her mouth in favor of chewing on his finger, he gently pulled his hand back before she could chomp down. Smart thinking. It wasn’t all that pleasant when part of a tooth jammed into your skin. Shigaraki found that out the hard way when he wasn’t paying attention and Yukiko decided his pinky finger was the perfect chew toy.

“There will be days when it’s easy and days when it’s the hardest thing you will ever do,” Sako lectured. Just great. Like he needed another old man telling him how to raise his kid. All Might might have Midoriya now, but he’d never raised a kid from infancy. What did Sako know? “Your case is unique since you took her in. You didn’t have to do that, but you did. That took a lot of strength.” Did it? He hadn’t really thought it through, if he was being honest. She had simply been placed in his arms and he hadn’t wanted to let go. “But it’s not something you should do alone.”

“I can,” Shigaraki insisted.

“I’d rather you not.” Sako stood.. He didn’t pick up Yukiko, but he still considered her closely. It was almost like he was afraid of holding her, which was absurd. Besides marbles held in his mouth apparently, Sako had the most careful grip of anyone Shigaraki knew, even with his prosthetic arm. “Being a parent is both wonderful and awful at the same time. No one tells you that, but it’s true. For those that want children, you’ll never feel quite as high when your child does something - and you’ll never feel so low and pathetic either at other times.”

Shigaraki set his glass down on the counter behind him. “Oh yeah?”

“Or so I’ve heard,” Sako added, putting his mask back on. It was just like him to be so mysterious for no goddamn reason. “Yukiko is her name, yes?” Shigaraki nodded. “A beautiful name. I’m surprised you were able to pick it out on your own.” He hadn’t. Uraraka had been there with him. If not for her, he probably would’ve picked out something not nearly as good. “Touya was rather vague on some details. He said someone has been helping you out, but he neglected to say who. Of course, I’m used to him being evasive.”

“Does it matter?” Shigaraki questioned.

“It does if it’s a villain,” Sako said. “I don’t want you to fall back into old habits. I truly think this is good for you.”

After considering his options, Shigaraki replied, “It’s not a villain.”

“Open as ever,” Sako chuckled. “I should’ve expected as much.”

“So is that it?” Shigaraki demanded. “You just broke into my place to check up on me and see if I really had a kid?”

Sako placed a hand over his heart, ever the one for melodrama. “Of course not, Tomura. Did you honestly believe I would come after so many years to visit you and your child without a gift?” He was worse than Touya and that bastard had admitted to being a Todoroki in the middle of a massive fight with Endeavor and a group of other heroes. “This is a special occasion. It’s not every day you become a father.”

“Oh, goodie,” Shigaraki muttered dryly.

Luckily - or perhaps unluckily - Sako wasn’t offended. He very rarely had been, even in the League, perhaps because he was one of the few people that even Touya didn’t insult repeatedly. “I asked Touya what you might need, but, as expected, he was mostly unhelpful. Fortunately, his brilliant twin sister was there.”

“Oh my god,” Shigaraki sighed, resisting the urge to rub the headache out of his forehead. “Tell me you did not break into their apartment while Fuyumi was there.”

“She had a good idea of what you might still need,” Sako continued, not responding to his statement. Somehow that made it even worse. He had probably broken into the apartment and scared the living shit out of Fuyumi. It was one thing for Touya to be hanging out with his old boss, a now reformed villain, but another for him to have villains who hadn’t served time for their crimes appearing out of thin ice. That could get her in trouble too. Shigaraki didn’t doubt no one had seen Sako enter, but it still made him want to disintegrate something.

Instead of trying to strangle Sako, Shigaraki asked, “And what did she say?”

“You don’t have a proper place for her to sleep,” Sako pointed out. “You need a crib.”

“She’ll barely sleep unless she’s being held. Why would I need something that takes up room?”

“Because you should start sleep training when she’s six months,” Sako explained. “That’s the best time. Also, you might think she’ll only sleep when you’re holding her, but there’s a chance some space will actually help her. You like your space. She might have inherited that as well.”

Shigaraki threw his hands in the air. “What? Did you read the same lame baby articles as me?”

“Are you letting her sleep in bed with you?”

A scoff tumbled out of Shigaraki’s mouth before he could stop it. “No, I’ve got one of those sleep nest...things. I don’t know what the fuck they are. That’s what the box said. I mean, okay, yeah, I put it in my bed, but she’s not in my bed with me. Every article I read acted like it was the worst thing in the world to do - a sin against parenting.”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Sako insisted, holding up a hand. “People will tell you that co-sleeping will get them too used to sleeping in bed with you, but that’s not the case. Some just need it in the beginning, to get used to sleeping through the night.”

“Seriously, how would you know that?”

“I’m well-versed in life.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why I asked.” He pushed away from the counter and made his way over to the couch, plopping down on it in front of Sako. As soon as he did, Yukiko rolled over to him and he had to catch her so she didn’t do a face plant on the couch cushion. The little shit was such a daredevil already. He already knew he was going to have a nightmare on his hands once she started walking. “You said you brought a gift for her. I’m going to assume it’s a crib. It wasn’t stolen, was it?”

“And risk you being caught with stolen property when you’re on the straight and narrow?” Sako clung to the front of his shirt and gasped in mock horror. “I would never.”

“So you bought Yukiko a crib.”

“Plus a few toys,” Sako added. He pulled a handful of marbles out of his pocket, swishing them around between this fingers like a magic trick. “Not to mention Touya said you’ve been relying on public transportation and walking. That’s fine when it comes to saving money and going to places not too far away, but you might need a vehicle for emergencies at least or long trips.”

The implication dawned on Shigaraki a second too late. “No, you didn’t .”

Sako shrugged. “I did. Why not?”

“Because vehicles are expensive! Also, I don’t have my driver’s license!”

“Money isn’t a problem for me anymore,” Sako said. And if that wasn’t a statement Shigaraki didn’t want to unpack. It wasn’t a problem for him? He could just casually buy a car and not even blink? Had he bought it? Stealing things was one of the easiest skills in the world for a villain like Mr. Compress. All he had to do was tap something and turn it into a marble. Not to mention he could easily slip in and out of an area with no one noticing as long as he didn’t open his mouth. “Again, it’s not stolen. Don’t worry. You’ll just have to get your license. It’ll be good for you.”

“And a car seat?” Shigaraki countered. Uraraka mentioned that in the very beginning. They hadn’t bought one because he didn’t own a vehicle or have a license. He knew how to drive, but it hadn’t been necessary until now. That was annoying.

“I got one that will grow with her.” Sako really had thought of everything.

Yukiko squirmed in his arms. As she got older, she wanted to see more things. He moved her from lying against his chest to sitting in his lap. It put both him and her directly against Sako. With his mask back on, it was impossible to tell how he was feeling or what he was thinking.

“What do you get out of it?” Shigaraki asked bluntly.

Sako tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“What do you get out of giving me all these expensive things? Do you think I’ll owe you or something?”

“No, Tomura, I don’t think you’ll owe me anything,” Sako said in a gentle tone that bordered on condescending. Shigaraki looked back at him flatly. “You’re a father in need - not exactly a gold mine to take advantage of, although desperate, poor people often make for easy marks.”

Shigaraki dropped his head back against the couch. “You’re truly a well of knowledge.”

“I tried to instill some in you,” Sako replied, amusement ringing in his voice. “Of course, if I had known you were going to be a father, I might have tried harder.”

“I probably wouldn’t have listened back then.”

“And you would now?”

Shigaraki huffed. “I’m open to any advice on this from time-to-time.”

Sako chuckled. “You know, Touya said something similar. I really am glad to see you two are both doing better.”

His words weren’t nearly as inspiring as Sako might’ve hoped, but then again, judging from the way he continued to chuckle at the face Shigaraki made, maybe his disgruntled reaction was what he wanted. He’d always enjoyed pushing the envelope for his own entertainment. Clearly, that hadn’t changed. A crib, car, toys, car seat. What was next?

“Wait.” Shigaraki sat up straight. “What kind of car did you get me?”

Even though Sako was wearing a mask, Shigaraki could hear the smile in his voice when he answered, “Why, the only type of car that a parent should have.” He was going to regret letting this man in his life again, wasn’t he?

Chapter 18: You look at things differently after having a kid

Notes:

Yes, this fic is more humor than anything else, but this naturally came about. You can blame Shigaraki for this. There a few things that need to happen in order for him and Uraraka to actually get closer. Also, I wanted to show how this isn't a one way street relationship. It isn't just Uraraka helping him. Sorry, Shig, it's time for character growth.

Chapter Text

Shigaraki was in the middle of waging battle against his child (aka changing her godforsaken diaper) when his phone buzzed on the table, alerting him to a text message. After wrangling Yukiko into a fresh diaper and saying fuck it to those little buttons on her onesie, he scooped her up and shuffled over to check his phone. If it was one of those idiots at his job asking him if he could pick up a shift this week, he was going to lose it. Didn’t they understand he had less time and flexibility now that he had a kid? He had a set schedule for a reason.

It wasn’t one of his coworkers, but he still frowned when he saw Uraraka’s name instead. Wasn’t she still in China? He hadn’t heard from her in a few days, but he’d more or less expected radio silence from her while she worked. Unlike the regular patrols she went on with her agency, dealing with the aftermath of a massive earthquake was different. She didn’t have a set schedule. She worked when and where she was needed until she returned to Japan, even if it meant working twelve to fourteen hours in a row.

At least that was what he found out while researching first responses to major catastrophes back when he was a villain. In some cases of large scale attacks, villains waited for the first responders to come before launching another surprise attack, which forced heroes into the position of both saving and fighting at the same time. It was a very delicate balance that could be easily tipped. After all, it was easier to take a hero down when they were exhausted after hours of rescue work.

Unlocking his phone, Shigaraki clicked on Uraraka’s text. Hey are you busy? It’s ok if you are.

Wasn’t he the one that usually asked that question? What could she possibly want from him? Frowning further, Shigaraki texted back: Just about to put Yukiko to bed.

Uraraka’s response came back lightning fast: Oh sorry of course. It’s getting late. Nevermind.

Had they swapped personalities for the week? Her sudden shift and evasiveness was irritating. Shit, was this what she dealt with when it came to him? How did she manage it? He could’ve let it go. Whatever her issue was, it wasn’t his problem. He didn’t care. She had her own life going on. Surely there were better people she could unload her shit on if that was the issue. He wasn’t the right person for it. Then again, it might not be that, but he didn’t know what the hell she’d want.

Just spit it out

It took her a few minutes to respond. By the time she did, he was in the bedroom trying to get everything situated with one hand while he held Yukiko in his other arm. He checked his phone a minute after, but her words made him pause. A part of him thought he should’ve expected this, but another part of him still thought it was ridiculous.

You’re going to think this is so stupid, but do you think I could facetime Yukiko just for a minute or two?

Why would you wanna facetime someone that can’t even talk back to you?

I’ve had a really bad day. It’s ok. I don’t expect you to listen to me talk about it. I really need to see something good right now. Cute pictures of puppies and kittens aren’t cutting it. Deku can only do so much. Everyone around me is trying, but I just wanna see Yukiko and know everything’s ok.

Shigaraki stared at his phone. From what it sounded like, if he did say yes to this, Uraraka would be in tears and he didn’t know if he was ready to handle that. He didn’t particularly mind crying, but seeing someone as cheery and positive as Uraraka that low would be unsettling. Plus, watching people in his life get emotional was awkward these days. He didn’t know what to do or if he should do anything. He typically didn’t want to either.

Before he could respond, Uraraka sent another text: You don’t have to say yes. I understand if you just want to get her to bed or it makes you uncomfortable.

Instead of arguing with her via text messaging, Shigaraki stacked his pillows and propped Yukiko against them. She could sort of sit up on her own now, although she tended to lean over like she was milk drunk. Having something behind her made it easier for her. Plus, she really liked it. Without any hesitation, he called Uraraka for a video chat and switched the camera around into selfie mode so the two of them would be able to see each other.

As soon as Uraraka answered, she popped up on the screen and excitedly exclaimed in a watery voice, “Hey there, baby girl!”

It was hard to tell, considering Yukiko was still too young, but it almost looked like she knew who was on the phone screen. She smiled brightly and reached for the phone, like she was trying to touch Uraraka, but fell down on her face in the process.

“Shit,” Shigaraki swore, leaping into action. He awkwardly pushed her back into the sitting position while trying to hold the phone in place, but it made for shaky camera work at best.

Uraraka gasped, “Oh, no, sweetheart,” but began to giggle once it was obvious Yukiko hadn’t minded the faceplant. Yukiko even made a few babbling noises like she was trying to talk back. It was highly unlikely, but it didn’t seem to matter to Uraraka, who visibly brightened with each passing second. “I’ve missed you! I was so sad I couldn’t see you this week, but I promise I’ll see you soon. Have you been good for your papa?”

“Grumpy as hell these past few days,” Shigaraki said loud enough for her to hear his disembodied voice. He was not about to get in the screen too. She wanted to see Yukiko, not him.

“Just like your papa then,” Uraraka teased.

“Real funny.”

The smile on her face didn’t look as forced as it had in the beginning of the call. Slowly, as the seconds ticked by, she began to ease up. He didn’t have a good angle to see the screen, but from what he could tell, she had more than likely come out of a crying spell recently. Along with her red-rimmed and puffy eyes, her cheeks were obviously tear-stained instead of their normal pink, but she looked pale underneath. Her hair was wet and stringy too, like she had gotten out of the shower, and she was in a plain t-shirt instead of her hero costume.

“It’s good to see you smiling,” Uraraka said as if Yukiko could understand her. “Are you enjoying daycare? Have you been better when you get dropped off?”

“She doesn’t cry at first, but apparently once I don’t come back right away, she gets upset,” Shigaraki replied, answering in place for Yukiko. It wasn’t like she could respond herself. The questions were for both of them, but she liked talking to Yukiko. He caught her doing it often. Not that he could mock her for it since he found himself doing the same thing half the time. It was good for her to be talked to regularly instead of that stupid baby talk shit. Making a weird voice didn’t help babies understand them more. “But they said she’s well-behaved for the most part. We’ll see how that changes once she starts crawling.”

“Has she showed any interest in it yet?” Uraraka asked, this time directing the question to him.

“Not at all,” Shigaraki said, “although she likes the bouncer Sak-”

He cut himself off at the last second, hoping against hope she hadn’t heard that last part since he was behind the phone. If she found out Compress had shown up announced in his apartment, she might not be as accepting as she was of his…friendship with Touya. After all, Compress had gotten away scot-free.

“Aw, a bouncer, how cute!” Uraraka gushed. “You’ll have to send me pictures.”

“Better than puppy and kitten pictures?” Shigaraki asked dryly.

The expression on Uraraka’s face was so downright soft that he almost looked away from the screen. “Much better.” Even her voice was soft, the longing in it unmistakable. She really did miss Yukiko. Not that he doubted her after that text and the way she lit up when Yukiko appeared on the screen, but it was something else to see her missing Yukiko. She didn’t have to say it for him to know she did. “I won’t keep you all. She should get to bed. I’m so happy I got to see you, baby girl. I’ll visit as soon as I get back. I’ve got some time off when I return.”

“Don’t worry,” Shigaraki said. “She’s not going anywhere.”

“Thank you - for letting me see her.” Uraraka chewed on her bottom lip. He’d noticed she had a habit of doing that whenever she was nervous or upset. If he looked close enough, he could tell that her lip looked almost raw and would probably bleed if she kept it up. “I know it was last minute and dumb, but I-” She took a deep breath. “I needed that. I really appreciate it.”

Her genuine gratitude made Shigaraki shift uncomfortably. When was the last time someone had thanked him? Ah, that girl at work when he’d stayed over late. Before that, he couldn’t really remember. It wasn’t something he had ever gotten used to before. He might’ve been thanked here or there, but it had been for strange things, like letting Toga be free and trusting her to do her job. To hear it from a hero was even stranger, but Uraraka sounded truly happy and relieved.

“I’ve gotta catch a few hours of sleep before I jump back in,” Uraraka said. “I’ll let you know when I get back.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shigaraki muttered. The words “be careful” almost left his mouth, but he stopped them. She didn’t need him telling her that. She already knew. It went without saying.

Besides, this was a natural disaster. No villains had been involved in the earthquake as far as he was aware. Certainly there were people capable of creating or at least jumpstarting them with their quirks, but he didn’t think she’d have time to take a shower and sleep if that was the case. Judging from her withdrawn face and tired eyes, she had probably reached her quirk limit and needed a break before she could work again.

They hung up on each other at seemingly the same time. Shigaraki tossed his phone to the side and fell down on his bed horizontal so that his hands hung over one side and his feet the other. He pressed his face into the mattress as if attempting to smother himself. Shit, maybe he was. He felt about the same as Uraraka had looked and, while he knew Yukiko was tired, she simply pawed at his back and kicked his side.

“Okay,” Shigaraki mumbled into the mattress. “You win.”

Instead of trying to lay her down in the sleep nest, he moved the pillows and laid her down on top of the sheet that he slept under. After getting up to turn off the lights and turn on a fan, he laid next to her on his side and slipped under the sheets for good measure. He gave her one of his gloved fingers to hold and bided his time. She liked to play with his fingers in order to fall asleep, but it was easier to lie next to her and let her do this than sit up or hold her and pace the apartment. With any luck, she’d be out in ten minutes and he could transfer her to the sleep nest and then take a hot shower. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan.

He thought of Uraraka’s teary but determined smile. True to her word, she hadn’t tried to talk with him about why she was so upset that she wanted to facetime a baby. That kind of smile used to piss him off. He didn’t understand how or why someone could smile when the world around them was falling apart. It wasn’t right. Why would they smile when everything was going to shit?

Shigaraki watched Yukiko drowsily play with his finger. It had taken him a few years, but he was finally beginning to understand why and he didn’t like it, not one bit.

*

Such a good quirk… A strong quirk... We shouldn’t let that go to waste. Wouldn’t you agree, Tomura?

A hand, held out for him to take. All he had to do was reach up and meet it halfway to grasp. It beckoned him forward. He wanted to take it. Life would be easier, wouldn’t it? He could pass off the responsibility on his shoulders, if only for a moment. It called to him. What did he know? He couldn’t do this.

Ah, but he would know. He always knew what to do. He’d known right from the start how to get him to do whatever he wanted. It was simple in the end. All he had to do was take the hand offered to him.

You don’t have to be alone, not anymore. I’m here. Give her to me.

*

Shigaraki startled awake, flailing in bed, tangled in the sheets weighing down on him for some reason. Only when he felt something solid shift next to him in bed did he freeze. Panting heavily and sweating, he glanced over and saw Yukiko lying on top of the sheets, not even in her sleep nest. Shit, he’d fallen asleep next to her while he was trying to get her to sleep.

Some time through the night, she must have rolled onto her stomach. Either that or his flopping around like a fish out of water had moved her. Whatever the case, he hadn’t woken her up. He leaned his head back against his flat pillow to breathe for a few seconds before panic spiked in his chest all over again. She hadn’t woken up. Everything woke her up. What if she’d smothered herself in the middle of the night while he was passed out? What if he had somehow hurt her upon his rude awakening? He was wearing gloves, but he could’ve hit her or-or-

Rolling onto his side, Shigaraki pressed a hand on her back. For one second, his entire world was crashing down on him and he couldn’t freaking breathe. In the next, when her back moved under his hand as she took a soft breath, relief washed over him and his world turned back on its end.

He collapsed on his back and gulped down the lump in his throat that kept him from speaking. Placing a hand over his eyes, he forced himself to take a few deep breaths until his heart calmed down. It had been a long ass time since panic nearly overwhelmed him that. It hadn’t been that long since he had a nightmare about All for One, but it had been a few months. The last time was shortly after he’d taken in Yukiko.

Every time he thought he was over this shit, it swamped him all over again. It drove him fucking crazy. When the hell would he be done with this? Years had passed since he was stuck under All for One’s thumb, being played like his personal puppet. Why was it coming back to him now?

Trying to sleep was useless. It would take him at least thirty minutes to fall back asleep, but with his shit luck, Yukiko would probably wake up right when he crashed again. Instead, Shigaraki carefully rolled out of bed, trying to stir her as little as possible, and then shuffled out of the room. He’d let her keep sleeping while he occupied himself. If he got tired in a few minutes, he’d try to lay back down. If he woke up further, he’d take a shower and read something until she cried herself awake.

After making himself a cup of hot tea using the microwave, Shigaraki wandered over to the couch and dropped down on it with a sigh. He was only in his late twenties, but he felt old as shit in this moment. Maybe his quirk affected his joints too. Who knew? A quirk specialist might, but he had no intention of going to one like Touya had been forced to while in prison. He turned on the television, flicking through channels of paid programs, shitty movies, and old tv shows until he finally landed on a twenty-four hour news station.

Back in the day, Shigaraki had obsessively read newspapers and scoured the internet for news sources. As much as he hated heroes, he tracked their movements religiously. The only person who knew as much about All Might as he did was probably Midoriya. Of course, it would’ve been nice to know the truth about One for All from the start, but All for One had been very secretive about it, even with him. The news had been common background noise for him while he read, played video games, slept, or did research.

After getting out of prison, Shigaraki quit watching it. A part of his issue was getting so caught up in all the drama surrounding heroes and villains. If he wanted to be a normal civilian, the easiest way would be to ignore all that shit and pretend like it didn’t exist. He couldn’t always ignore heroes - what with them patrolling the streets in their bright, loud costumes - but he could forget about villains from time-to-time. As long as he didn’t watch the news or get on certain websites, he didn’t see or hear anything about villain attacks. He could be blissfully ignorant about dumbasses trying to follow in his footsteps.

Shigaraki didn’t know why he stopped on the channel now when he’d resisted the urge for over a year. He was about to change the channel when the newsreel at the bottom caught his eye and he turned up the volume instead.

“...days already spent dealing with the aftermath of a 7.3 earthquake,” a reporter was describing, her serious tone matching her face. “Heroes and other emergency responders were still sorting through the destruction looking for survivors when an unexpected 6.1 earthquake struck. On its own, it would have caused severe damage, but with many infrastructures already weakened or damaged, the devastation was immense.”

“Pro heroes from around the world were already on the scene, yes?” the desk correspondent asked.

“Yes, after the first earthquake, the Chinese government requested the aid of heroes and even sidekicks with quirks specializing in Rescue,” the reporter answered as clips of heroes jumping into action - or rather, rescue - played on the screen. Most of the heroes were people he didn’t recognize, most likely because they weren’t from Japan. “Their foresight proved to be instrumental in saving and protecting lives during the second earthquake. Many more lives would’ve been lost had heroes not been here.”

“Japan’s number one hero Deku is there, isn’t he?” the corresponder prompted.

Clips of Midoriya directing aid relief workers and lifting ridiculous amounts of debris popped on the screen. “A number of Japan’s pros were called on, but yes, Pro Hero Deku is here. Of course, he’s notable for being one of the few heroes who often operates in multiple countries. He doesn’t have an agency and works rescue almost more than he fights villains.”

It brought to mind the famous image of All Might’s debut where he saved a thousand people. How many times had Shigaraki watched that video, seething with more rage every time he heard that stupid laugh? And then there was Midoriya, smiling as he carried people to safety, wearing a laser-focused expression as he conversed with other heroes and emergency responders. There was even a shocking video of him holding up building while people ran for cover after the second earthquake.

What jumped out to Shigaraki as the reporter began to report the damage was a clip of Midoriya and Uraraka. She looked tired, but determined as she directed firefighters pulling people out. Even Midoriya was taking orders from her from what it looked like. What had to be tons of rubble hung suspended in the air due to her quirk. She had seemingly dug her way through the damage using her quirk to reach a group of people who were trapped underneath a collapsed building.

As the talking heads continued on, the video being played over them changed. It was a stark difference from the professional recording done by the media. The quality was still decent, but the shaking and bad focus made it obvious someone had filmed it with their phone - in the middle of the second earthquake, like some dumbass civilian would. They had no damn sense sometimes.

Struggling to figure out what was going on, Shigaraki leaned forward as if that might help him. Now he was being stupid. Something about the video made him distinctly uncomfortable. This was what people on the ground experienced during a catastrophe - or during a villain attack. The chaos, the confusion, the fear. Once upon a time, he thought such moments were thrilling, but he couldn’t figure out why for the life of him now. He pictured this happening while he held a hysterically crying Yukiko in his arms. He pictured the fear on Fuyumi’s face while she tried to calm her bratty students down.

He thought of Uraraka facing him down, scared but fully prepared to bring that building down on him so he wouldn’t hurt Midoriya.

The reporter talked about the bridge shown on the video, but Shigaraki droned her out. Something about how it had been structurally built to survive large scale earthquakes since it was on a fault line, but two large ones in a row so close together broke it down. It would’ve been fine had it only been one. It was damaged, but deemed sound enough to still be used, as it was the only way across the river for miles. Both sides had suffered devastation. It was a foolish mistake, but one that most people would’ve made. While not as strong, the second earthquake rocked that bridge like a rope and it cracked, breaking into pieces.

It should have gone down - it would have gone down - if not for Uraraka.

“Confident in the bridge’s structure, as it was known to be one of the world’s leading bridges in terms of sturdiness during an earthquake, it was not blocked off,” the reporter continued. “Authorities and civilians were on the bridge when the second earthquake struck-”

“Shut up and get off the screen, you idiot,” Shigaraki muttered furiously like they could hear him.

“The video, recorded by a civilian on the west side, shows the bridge collapse-”

Shigaraki growled. “It’s not collapsing.”

“-only for it to be stopped by lesser-known Japanese Pro Hero Uravity.”

He didn’t need the reporter to say anything. Shigaraki would’ve recognized that quirk after seeing it up close and personal years ago. She had casually used it in front of him a few times in the past months, carrying all that baby shit from the store, taking out the trash, playing with toys.

That was chump change compared to this. The bridge was large and no doubt weighed a veritable shit ton. Uraraka had leaped into action without thought. Having activated her quirk partially on herself, she shot through the sky using rockets in her boots and skipped over the ground quaking below her. She dropped to the edge of the bridge and touched it right when the concrete cracked and metal wires snapped loose. The footage was shitty as it zoomed in closer on her, but he saw the way her body lurched forward as the weight of the bridge tugged on her quirk. Despite breaking into pieces, the bridge didn’t fall and heroes jumped in to rescue the people before they fell into the water.

It was too much, even for her, especially after using her quirk for the better part of the day doing rescue work.

This was today, Shigaraki realized suddenly. This happened yesterday - about six hours before she texted me.

Green lightning zigzagged on the screen. Ah, there he was, Midoriya. Shigaraki wasn’t likely to forget his quirk either, considering it was his version of One for All. He was too fast to even be a blur as he raced on the floating parts of the bridge to save as many people as possible. It wasn’t enough. Even with so many heroes involved and Uraraka holding the bridge up with her quirk, it was massive. Had it not already broken, Midoriya might’ve been able to save everyone. He was that good. Shigaraki might not have liked him, but he was the Number One Hero for a reason and beloved throughout the world.

He knew the exact moment when Uraraka could no longer hold onto her quirk. Her face drained entirely of blood except for the dribble out of her nose, she collapsed to the side, tumbling over the edge. Only thanks to Midoriya did not she fall into the river. Even as concrete, metal, and vehicles fell out of the sky around him, he was able to cut through the air to catch her and land on the river bank below. They were out of sight of the camera, but Shigaraki still jumped to his feet as if he could lean over and see them. It was stupid. She was out cold. She almost died. More than likely she would’ve either drowned or been crushed by falling debris had she hit the water.

Midoriya had saved her, but at the cost of ignoring the remaining civilians trapped on the bridge.

Shigaraki’s stomach twisted to the point of making him feel ill. That sounded an awful lot like something he would’ve done in his villain heydays in order to escape being caught: forcing the hero in the unwinnable scenario of choosing who to save (or rather who would live - who was more important) or between capturing him and saving someone else. This was what she’d dealt with back in school. He had been the monster who caused situations like this, not just mother nature. How many times had she almost died because of him? Midoriya? All Might?

You’re not like that anymore. She knows that.

Did it matter though? He’d done those things, hadn’t he? How many people had inadvertently died because of him? So what if All for One spent years manipulating him, grooming him, forcing him to be a tool of his own design? Yeah, Shigaraki and the League eventually broke away from him to do their own thing, but he still hadn’t been good. He had still technically been a villain, even if some news pundits used the word vigilante too. He’d still caused mayhem and chaos. He had still clashed with Midoriya and all those around him.

Shigaraki collapsed onto the couch, staring numbly at the screen as the reporter listed off the number of dead and injured caused by the second earthquake. It could’ve been worse, but he knew that a solid amount had come from the bridge. The number was still rising, as not every body had been recovered from the river. Uraraka’s face on the phone came to mind. He knew she’d been crying before the call. He could see it in her face and the way she held herself no matter how much she tried to hide it.

She thought she failed - that their deaths rested on her shoulders.

Goddamnit, she was an idiot. That number would’ve been much higher if not for her. She had to recognize that. She was incredible out there - a fucking hero.

And he really had been the villain in her story. What the hell was she doing around him?

Chapter 19: Parenthood includes some harsh realities about how selfish you were before kids

Notes:

Well this and the next scenes were supposed to be one chapter, but the scenes got long as hell, so I had to split it. I love this chapter for the reason that Touya realizes he has to be the mature one for once. He's not a fan.

Chapter Text

Hey sorry I’ve been sorta MIA for the past two weeks, but I just got back into town last night. How have things been?

Fine

Cool. How’s Yukiko?

Good

Glad to hear

Uraraka didn’t send another text. Shigaraki kept thinking she would - even thought his phone buzzed in alert once or twice - but she never did. After thirty minutes of what felt like utter torture, he groaned and pulled his phone back out. This was fucking ridiculous. He was being stupid as fuck. He didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him, but he was pissed the hell off. He shouldn’t care. He didn’t. She shouldn’t care either. She shouldn’t even be texting him. He had very nearly ruined her life so many times. What the hell was wrong with either of them?

She’s staying the night with Fuyumi. Apparently I need a night to myself.

You definitely do. You haven’t had one since you got her right?

Not unless you count that night I passed out on their couch

Any fun plans?

Probably drive myself crazy. Fuyumi said I’m not allowed to stay home.

You’ll figure something out. Maybe you and Touya could hang out?

Like I wanna hang out with that stupid fucker

That stupid fucker is your best friend. I hope you know that.

Shigaraki lifted a hand from the stroller to rub his temple. No way in hell was Touya his best friend, but he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t exactly close to anyone else either. The only other person he spent more time with, besides Yukiko, was either Uraraka or Fuyumi. Didn’t friends have each other’s backs? When Shigaraki had asked Fuyumi if she could watch Yukiko, her twin brother lamented over it. He wasn’t even going to be at the apartment while Fuyumi had her since he had work and Yukiko would be gone by the time he got off. What a jackass. They weren’t best friends. That was cheesy.

After watching the video of the bridge collapse, Shigaraki hadn’t been able to go back to sleep. Instead, he’d laid in bed ruminating on it. The next day, instead of napping like he should have when Yukiko did, he got online and did research on some of his more prolific attacks during his League days. Instead of focusing on what he accomplished, like he had back then, he looked into the consequences. People injured, buildings destroyed, lives ruined. Even when she woke up, he continued the research on his phone. He couldn’t stop until he felt as if he’d spiraled into a black hole that he didn’t deserve to get out of. His therapist brought up his moody, reflective change, but he hadn’t felt like talking about it.

He spent what felt like hours watching Yukiko gnaw on a toy where she sat upright on the couch, almost all on her own without the help of a pillow behind her. What was he doing - thinking he could raise her? He didn’t even deserve her or the chance to be a father, not when he’d ruined so many people’s lives. Uraraka shouldn’t hang around him. It wasn’t that she was better than him. It just wasn’t right. She couldn’t fix this and shouldn’t be trying. This was only going to end in disappointment for her. He didn’t need that on him too.

It would be better if they regained their distance and stopped talking. It would be easier on them both if he slowly cut himself out of her life and they could all pretend it was a phase. He hoped she would get the hints with his one word texts - and it seemed like she might have - but then he went and fucked it up. What was wrong with him?

Within seconds of knocking on Fuyumi’s door, she answered and ushered him inside. As he set aside the backpack, she took Yukiko out of the stroller and held her close to squash cheeks with her. “Hello, precious!” She smiled at Shigaraki and added, “And hello to you too.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shigaraki muttered. “Are you sure about this?”

“Of course!” Fuyumi held onto Yukiko happily. “Did you bring the sleeper and extra diapers?”

Shigaraki handed her the backpack. “Yeah, but you won’t need them. I’m only gonna be out for like two hours-”

“Nonsense.” Fuyumi lightly bopped Yukiko on the nose. “She’s gonna spend the night. That way you can sleep in too. How long has it been since you were able to do that?”

“No, that’s too-”

Fuyumi settled a serious look on him, cutting Shigaraki off. It was the teacher look she probably used on her students when they were acting up, the one that immediately made them go silent. Sometimes, with how nice she was, it was easy to forget that she was a Todoroki as well. She had grown up in the same household that had produced Touya.

“Can I please have a night with Yukiko?” Fuyumi asked calmly.

Well, when she put it like that… “Yeah, okay.”

“Great!” Fuyumi walked into the living room and laid Yukiko down on a blanket she had spread out on the floor. “So have you figured out any plans for tonight?”

“Nope.” Shigaraki stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m just going to wander the city aimlessly.”

Fuyumi shook her head as she eased herself down on the floor next to the blanket. “What about Uraraka?”

Shigaraki stiffened. “What about her?”

When Fuyumi lifted her head to look at him, the smile on her face was far too knowing and sneaky. She really tricked everyone into thinking she was so innocent, but he’d seen her rip Touya a new one before. “You should see if she’s free tonight. You all haven’t hung out without Yukiko around before, have you?”

“Not unless you count me attacking her class or them interrupting one of the League’s plots as hanging out.” Shigaraki stared at Fuyumi, a neutral expression on his face. Her smile faded into a small frown. It was a sad frown, not a disappointed one, which somehow made things worse. “Touya’s at work, isn’t he?” She nodded. “I’ll probably go there. I’m not feeling very social.”

“Baby steps,” Fuyumi decided. “He could use the company. He says his job is fine, but I think he hates it. Service industry is not his forte, but the clientele doesn’t exactly require much from him.” That was an understatement. Touya definitely hated his job and complained about it all the time, but it was also quick, easy, and (most importantly) legal cash. “I’ll text you updates on Yukiko.”

Fighting the urge to take Yukiko and go back home, even though he really did need and want a break, Shigaraki took one last look at her and then ducked out of the place. As soon as he left her sight, she started to wail, but he didn’t stop, not even when he shut the door and could only hear her muffled cries. She’d move past the crying stage soon enough, but it was so damn rough in the beginning. Guilt clawed at him like never before. He had felt guilty a few times, especially during his time in prison and then this past week, but there was something painfully raw about the guilt he struggled with over just leaving Yukiko to cry.

Fucking softie. You used to run away at the sound of cries and now you wanna turn back? You’ve really fallen, huh.

No, he had risen above all of the cold, empty ugliness of his past. This was him learning to care. It was empathy or sympathy or whatever other bullshit his therapist threw at him. He had thought the League meant more than him - he had thought All for One was more important than him - but now he knew the truth. Yukiko - vulnerable, weak, weepy, dependent, smelly ass - was the most important thing in the world. He wouldn’t have been capable of thinking that before prison and therapy.

And it made him hate the person he used to be. Fucking selfish bastard, just wanting to destroy shit simply because he hated it.

The trip to Touya’s workplace took him about thirty minutes. Not a bad commute, but Touya wasn’t overly fond of public transportation. Shigaraki didn’t mind it as much. It gave him time to think. Of course, sometimes he hated that. This was one of those times. Pulling out his phone, he used an app to pull one of the free books he’d been able to download on his phone. It was shit, but it was better than thinking. How hard had Touya and Twice laughed when they figured out how much of a bookworm he really was? Kurogiri had always made sure he was well-read. All for One liked that. His “successor” couldn’t be an idiot. Just ignorant enough to be malleable.

Although the bar wasn’t located in a spot as bad as Shigaraki’s place, it wasn’t a decent part of town either. It was placed in a strange spot right in between a good street and a shitty one, the two worlds clashing awkwardly. The drinks were cheap as fuck, strong as fuck, and disgusting as fuck most of the time, although Shigaraki could admit Touya was actually proficient at making a drink. When he actually listened, he was a quick study, but that usually required him to give a fuck. Blame it on Endeavor’s constant training. When he learned something, he didn’t forget it. Somehow, he had picked up on Kurogiri’s bartending skills.

Seeing as how he had been raised in a bar, Shigaraki didn’t really consider this place that bad. Like him, Touya had to be careful when picking a job. He couldn’t get one that would put him directly in line with other villains. At least a few of the people that frequented the bar were criminals, but most of them only committed petty crimes or had already served their time. It was why Touya was able to get a job so quickly. Half the clientele recognized him as Dabi and knew better than to start shit. Crowd control and a bartender all in one and Touya barely had to lift a finger. Even a villain that stepped in that bar would think twice.

Granted, these days, it was hard to say who was a villain and who wasn’t. They could hide in plain sight with average lives and no one would be the wiser. Shigaraki often wondered how many villains he unknowingly crossed on the street. After all, he had taken a lot of walks through the city even after being labeled a villain. It was easy to hide in a crowd of trusting and unsuspecting civilians. Now he was one and he didn’t know if there was a knife being pointed at his back.

You’re being paranoid again.

His therapist brought up his paranoia often. Touya brought it up. Uraraka brought it up. It wasn’t going to go away overnight, but it really wasn’t helping him right now.

As soon as he stepped into the dingy bar, Shigaraki was greeted with a familiar, “Oh? Did we lower our standards? Pretty sure this is an adult only establishment.”

“Yukiko isn’t with me, you prick,” Shigaraki griped as he sat down at the bar.

“Damn, I thought she was in one of those back carriers and I was going to make so much fun of you.” Touya polished a glass with a clean rag. The other bartenders used typically suspect ones, but for however much he had a bad habit of hoarding things, Touya was surprisingly meticulous when it came to cleanliness. For a long time, he had to be or he ran the risk of contracting an infection because of his scars and open wounds. “Where’s the wiggle worm?”

Shigaraki smirked. “Your place, remember? Your sister asked to keep her overnight.”

Touya narrowed his eyes. “You reformed villainous bastard. Now I can’t go home.”

“Just gonna wander the streets like a hobo after work?”

“I’ve got a place I can crash for a few hours,” Touya replied cryptically, a grin twitching onto his face.

Shigaraki stared at him hard. If it was something bad - aka something that went against his parole - he wouldn’t have brought it up, so he wasn’t concerned too much. Touya would never show his entire hand; he would always have one card hidden under the table only he knew about. Shigaraki couldn’t blame him, not when he was the same way sometimes. Still, it was strange to realize Touya was even more secretive than him. He should have figured that out when it took Touya over a year to tell them he was the number one hero’s oldest son.

“What do you want?” Touya asked.

“Whatever. I don’t really care.”

“On a scale of ‘I’m just here for a few drinks and then go home’ to ‘I’d like to forget a few things’, what kind of night is this?” Touya set the glass down and tossed the rag over his shoulder. “Since you came here, I’d say it’s leaning toward the latter.”

Raising his eyes to meet Touya’s, Shigaraki asked, “Think you can read me that well now?”

“You’ve got your ‘I’m thinking about something uncomfortable and conflicting’ look on your face,” Touya pointed out. “Yeah, I think I can read you well enough.” It wasn’t the first time someone had called Shigaraki out on that look. Toga had been the one to bring up first after Touya explained who he was. He’d been pissed as fuck, but then all the implications about Endeavor came with it and it made him think of Sensei… It hadn’t been fun. “We’ll take it slow, yeah? I don’t need you piss drunk and ready to blackout on my bar in two hours.”

He nodded in agreement. Besides a beer here and there, Shigaraki hadn’t drank much since acquiring Yukiko. He hadn’t drank much even before then, despite his first hideout being in a bar. He learned to have a glass with him whenever he had meetings with other villains, if only because it made him seem older than he actually was, but he wasn’t fond of the stuff. The lack of self-control and inhibitions made him uncomfortable

When Touya set down what was presumably a weak beer in front of him, Shigaraki took a small sip, grimaced a little, and then a larger gulp before setting it down. “That’s fucking revolting.”

“Aw, don’t insult a local business,” Touya said as he wandered to the other end to help another customer.

Shigaraki stared down into the liquid. Whatever. If it did the job in the end, he would take it. Maybe a few more of these and he would stop thinking about Uraraka and the fact that she had called him of all people (okay, Yukiko) after the bridge incident. He was the worse person to call in that moment. Why had she done that?

A minute later, Touya returned, strolling back over to him like a bored cat. It wasn’t like he had much to do. Besides Shigaraki, there were only a few people in the bar. They all kept to themselves, only requiring Touya’s attention when they needed a refill to drown their misery. Shigaraki’s skin crawled. What the fuck was he doing here? It wasn’t so bad later at night when people came here to have a good time, but right now, everyone drinking was acting like miserable piles of shit.

“Do you ever think we should still be in prison?” Shigaraki asked as he swirled the beer around in his glass. It was clean. He’d give Touya that. No other bartender in a shithole like this would’ve cared that much to actually polish the glasses after washing them - if they washed them thoroughly and didn’t just rinse them out.

Touya sighed and leaned against the back of the bar. “It’s one of those nights, huh.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “Shut the fuck up. Like you don’t think about it.”

“Of course I do,” Touya shot back. “My twin is a preschool teacher and I’ve got a doctor for one little brother and the goddamn Number Two Hero for the other.” He held out his hands. “What accomplishments do I have under my belt? Well, I got rid of more villains than my baby brother. My number rivals my father’s. Only difference is that my takedowns weren’t exactly through legal means and Shouto tries not to kill.”

“Cute kid,” Shigaraki snorted.

“I tell him all the time that he’s too nice.” Touya dropped his hands. “I hope he stays that way.”

Picking up the glass, Shigaraki swallowed an uncomfortable amount of the beer. He paused to catch his breath and then drank more. When Yukiko popped into his mind, he set the glass back down. His stomach twisted at the thought of her not with him. Combined with the beer he just gulped down, it wasn’t a comfortable feeling. If he had still been locked away, like he would’ve been if not for All Might and Midoriya most likely, he wouldn’t have Yukiko. Was that a bad thing? His heart skipped a beat. Months ago, he would’ve thought that was fine, but now, he didn’t know how to consider a life without her.

You’re weak, pathetic, stupid, soft. It’s no wonder All for One was able to take advantage of you. Even now you’re craving the familiarity and safety of a family. But it’s not safe and it’s not familiar. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re a villain .

Shigaraki shook his head and drained the rest of his drink.

Touya raised an eyebrow, but didn’t even ask before taking the glass and refilling it. He set the glass down in front of him. “You gonna tell me what this mood swing is about or am I gonna have to wait for three more drinks?”

“I’ve been thinking,” Shigaraki said slowly.

“Famous last words.”

After casting him a brief glower, Shigaraki peered down into his glass. “We got off easy.”

“Yeah,” Touya agreed without hesitation, “yeah, we really fucking did.”

“You had leverage.”

Touya sighed. “And don’t you remind me.” He folded his arms across his chest and stared out the front windows, like he was waiting for more people to come in. As much as he needed money, Shigaraki knew he would’ve been content if no one else walked in those doors. “I was ready - I was going to tear that bastard apart - and then I fucking flaked out.” He took a deep breath. “Probably for the best. Fuyumi and the others probably wouldn’t be talking to me if I’d pulled that shit on them. They were ready for it.”

“Your sentence probably would’ve been reduced like mine,” Shigaraki pointed out.

It still blew his mind that he ended up serving less time than Touya. He was the goddamn leader of the League. If anyone should’ve gotten more time, it was him. Then again, besides All Might’s influence, he’d also been on his best behavior. Touya had started his tenure in prison by getting into a fight that landed a guy in a coma for a month. Granted, the guy had been fucking stupid enough to attack him before they had their quirk inhibitor braces put on while being transferred. Shigaraki might’ve been shanked in prison, but he actually knew how to fight. A broken wrist tended to end things quickly.

“Five years wasn’t that bad,” Touya mused. He smiled, not a hint of warmth behind it. “Better than living with my dad.”

“How’s therapy going?” Shigaraki asked.

“Peachy.”

“I can tell.”

Shigaraki took another gulp his beer and then set it aside as he leaned forward. “What the fuck are we doing here? We planned on bringing heroes down - shaking society to its core-”

Touya pointed at him. “Eh, that was you. I just wanted to kill my dad in the long run.”

“Not the point!” Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to collect his thoughts. The beer and a half had already begun to cloud his brain, all of his concerns melding into one big blob. He took a moment to sort through them and set each one aside. He needed to pick one and stick with it before he ran off the rails. Fuck, this was why he didn’t drink to get drunk. He couldn’t think straight. “We’re nothing now.”

“Isn’t that the actual point?” Touya asked. “We’re living our lives as regular ass citizens. We don’t mean a thing. We just live our lives and then we die. No ripple effects in the water. That’s our second chance.”

“Should we even have that?”

Touya shrugged. “Fuck if I know. I didn’t ask for one, but we got it.” They stared at each other until finally Touya huffed and unfolded his arms. “Is this about Yukiko?” Shigaraki twisted his lips. Touya pressed his hands on the bar counter and leaned forward, an ugly sneer appearing on his face. “Or is it about Uraraka?”

Shigaraki tensed. “Why would it be about her?”

The look on Touya’s face was entirely too smug. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Shigaraki insisted, affronted by the assumption.

On the other hand, Touya looked even more pleased. “Oh? So she didn’t say or do anything that triggered you into wondering if you were good enough to be Yukiko’s father? Good enough for her?”

“No, she didn’t-” Shigaraki gripped his beer tightly and glared down at the brown liquid. “She didn’t do anything.”

The pleased expression dropped from Touya’s face as he rolled his eyes. “C’mon, spit it out.”

“This is stupid,” Shigaraki muttered. “I don’t want to talk about her.”

“Yeah, you clearly do.”

“She just-” Shigaraki drank what felt like half a glass of beer and then set it down again. “You know she got back to Japan recently? She was out of the country doing rescue hero work for a few weeks.”

“Aw, did you miss her?”

“Can you shut the fuck up?” Shigaraki snapped.

Touya straightened and held his hands up in surrender. He didn’t take it personally. He never did, but especially not when it was obvious that Shigaraki was in an off mood. Touya could pick and pick until the very last second, but he always knew when to back off. Prison and growing up under Endeavor had taught him that. He simply hadn’t bothered listening to those warning signs back when he was acting as Dabi.

“I haven’t watched the news in a long time. You remember how obsessed I used to get over every piece of media about heroes.” His entire room had been filled with cutouts of anything related to the heroes he hated. Eventually, it was a mixture of villains he hated too. He absorbed newspapers, watched television clips when he could, read articles online when he had the wifi connection. “Not good for my mental health or whatever, but I got...curious. I hear her mention work all the time. She comes over after or before, but I don’t really know what she’s doing.”

“You looked into it,” Touya surmised.

“By accident.” Shigaraki swirled the bottom of his glass on the table. “I couldn’t sleep so I turned on the television to watch something mindless and the news about the earthquake came on and…” He waved a hand. “There she was, along with goddamn Midoriya.” He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “He does that stupid smiling shit just like All Might, but it looks more genuine on him somehow. It’s fucking annoying.”

Touya took his glass and refilled it even though it was only halfway gone. “So you saw her at work capacity. You knew she was a hero - and it’s not like you’ve never seen her in action before either. She’s not just some cute girl who loves babies. She’s also the friendliest person who can kick your ass.”

“It wasn’t a villain attack,” Shigaraki said. “It was an earthquake - two actually.” He ran a finger around the rim of the glass, the urge to drink no longer swallowing him whole. “She held a bridge up all on her own - saved fucking countless of people and nearly died in the process. People died when she passed out and her quirk gave up, but still, she did that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, just a natural disaster, but it was utter chaos and…” The Kamino Incident came to mind. It was the first large scale catastrophe he’d been involved in, even though it hadn’t been his own doing. “We did that.”

Dropping his shoulders, Touya looked away. “Ah, yeah, we did, didn’t we?”

“Do you ever wonder how many lives we ruined?” Shigaraki asked. “How many we ended?”

“You mean how many counts of murder we should’ve had put on us?” Touya shrugged. “I’ve got more than you.”

Shigaraki glowered. “That’s not something to brag about.”

“Certainly not,” Touya countered. “You’re right: by all means, we should still be in prison, but we aren’t. And you know why?” When he smiled coldly, Shigaraki didn’t even blink. This dose of harsh reality was exactly what he needed to get his head straight. “Because the same system you wanted to destroy for being corrupt is the one that saved us. We got away with hurting people because, in the long run, we hurt people worse than us. We took out the bad guys that the good guys weren’t willing to deal with. We took out the trash they didn’t want to bother with. By the time we were arrested, the League of Villains were little more than glorified villain garbage men.”

Even though his words made Shigaraki tense up and want to explode, Touya wasn’t wrong. They hadn’t been much of villains in the end. They fought and took out more villains than anyone else. Any villain that stood to gain from following All for One was a target, that fucking doctor, and even the Nomus he’d once been rather fond of - all of them became enemies. The only time they had ever clashed with heroes was to save their own skin or go after a corrupt one. Even when he had tried to kill Midoriya, it had been more of a flash of anger for getting in his way than desire.

And then Uraraka stepped in and he disintegrated the ground under her feet and it hadn’t even mattered to her. She stepped in to help him with Yukiko, like it hadn’t mattered he used to be public enemy number one.

He hated it. He hated that he didn’t hate her. He hated that he knew her help wasn’t born out of pity or hero bullshit. He hated that he cared about anything, but he couldn’t stop himself. Before, he could pretend and even believe that he didn’t give a shit about anyone or anything, but now Yukiko was here. He saw the big picture and couldn’t ignore it for the life of him.

Goddamnit, it was annoying as shit.

“She messaged me after the bridge shit,” Shigaraki grumbled. “She wanted to see Yukiko.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “She just finished crying and all she wanted was to see her.”

“That’s…” Touya searched for the right word. “Touching?”

“She shouldn’t do that,” Shigaraki insisted, tapping a finger on the bartop. “Not with me. I’m not good with that shit. She knows better than that.”

“You answered, didn’t you? I’d call that progress. Your therapist would be proud.”

Shigaraki fought the urge to smack Touya right in the face. “Ass.”

Touya made a face that suggested he knew he was but didn’t particularly care. “What’s the problem here? You finally see she’s actually a hero in more than name and you’re wondering if maybe you’re not up to par for...what? I don’t get why you’re having a brooding attack over this.”

“I’m wasting her time,” Shigaraki said flatly.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Touya almost laughed. “Are you worried about not being good enough? Maybe a bad influence? Or maybe you’re more worried about being a waste of time?”

“I’m doing nothing with my life and she’s out there...fucking saving people and shit.” She had done what she could to save him, despite everything, and she had. Even if it was just helping him buy baby shit and get it home. Even if it was coming over because he accidentally clipped his daughter’s finger or because Yukiko was sick and he needed an hour to breathe.

“You’re raising your kid, aren’t you?” Touya countered. “Even when everyone expected you to give her up - when you would have been in your rights to turn her away because you knew shit about her and even less shit about raising a kid right - you’re doing it and you’re even doing right by her.” Despite his tone being harsh, his words were supportive. It was one or the other. He didn’t know any other way. Even when he had been praised as a kid, it had usually been a double-edged, flaming sword. “You’re a better father than either of us had. That’s not nothing.”

Shigaraki groaned. “It doesn’t feel like it. I keep wondering if I’m wasting her time too - if she would be better off with some nice, normal, happy family and not fucked up me.”

Taking a deep breath, Touya pressed both hands against the bar and leaned forward. “Tell me this: do you regret keeping Yukiko?”

“No.” Shigaraki scowled. “What the fuck kind of question is that?”

“So you don’t wish you’d never found out you had a daughter?”

“No, you dumbass. That’s what I just said.”

“Different question.” Touya’s eyes hardened, his jaw becoming sharper as he clenched it. “Why?”

“That’s…” Shigaraki shoved the stool away from the bar, but he didn’t stand up or leave. “That’s a stupid question. I’m just… I don’t know. She’s important. She makes me feel important - like I can do better. I should do better.” He rubbed his forehead. “Fuck, she makes me feel like I’m good enough, okay? I had you all depending on me at times, but this is different. It’s like everyone can shit on me and then I pick her up and she smiles, none the wiser about what a horrible person I am, and it doesn’t matter. None of it fucking matters - just her. Like I was supposed to get out of prison earlier than I should have so I could have her.”

A bark of laughter slipped from Touya. “That’s fucking cheesy, man.”

“I know, damnit! Shut up!”

“Okay, okay. Next one.” Touya waited until Shigaraki looked him in the eyes and then asked, “Do you regret Uraraka being in your life now?”

Shigaraki reared back. “What the hell?”

“Just answer it.”

“No.”

Touya narrowed his eyes. “Stop being such a fucking wimp. Are you grateful she stuck around?”

Shigaraki didn’t answer. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and glared back, not saying a word, but he didn’t have to. Not saying anything was an answer in itself. He’d learned that well enough while questioning captives. He didn’t want to answer this question out loud. He didn’t like it. Instead, he picked up the beer and drained it in a few painful gulps before slamming it down almost hard enough to break it.

Lucky for him, that seemed to appease Touya. “There you go. Stop brooding about it.”

“Isn’t that selfish?” Shigaraki retorted dryly.

Touya ran his fingers through his hair as he stood up straight and then pulled out a shot glass. “Listen; you don’t think I felt the same way about my family?” He picked a liquor from behind the bar and poured the shot. “How long did I refuse Fuyumi’s visits before you tricked me?”

“Ten months, like a dumbass.” Shigaraki grabbed the shot and took it, his stomach nearly revolting in the process. He glared at the shot glass in offense. “What the fuck is this?”

“My shot, you piece of shit.” Touya snatched the glass from him.

Shigaraki pointed a wavering finger at him. “You don’t need to drink.”

“Who said anything about needing one? I want one.” Regardless of his desire, Touya didn’t attempt to pour another drink. Good. The last thing he needed was hard liquor. Two or three drinks and he was done for. He needed to wait at least until the end of the night if he was going to drink anything. He dropped the shot glass in the sink and put away the liquor. Shigaraki’s stomach burned unpleasantly. That shit had been disgusting. Why had he drank it?

Because you’re an idiot who thinks punishing himself is a good idea.

That was what Touya would say at least. He wouldn’t be wrong.

“It was- It is hard sometimes, being in their lives knowing what I did, especially to Shouto. You put him on the kill list and I rolled with it. I didn’t even blink.” Touya blew out some air and flexed his fingers. Shigaraki eyed his hands and idly wondered how long it had been since he used his quirk, just to burn it out of him. They didn’t get the chance often anymore, only at home where no one could see them and get scared. “I spent so much time wondering if I could really go through with it or let it happen. He might’ve been my brother, but I didn’t know much about him. We hadn’t been close and it had been years since I’d seen him. As far as I knew, he was a mini Endeavor and that was a good enough reason to hate him.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t,” Shigaraki said. “You went easy on the kid every time, even if you acted like you didn’t. Your aim was always a little off.”

Touya clenched one of his hands into a fist. “I knew it the first time I saw him at the Training Camp: he wasn’t like our father at all. He was too devastated when he couldn’t save his friend.” He relaxed his hand. “That was me. Figuring that out was like getting punched in the gut. I thought I’d burned out every trace of him.”

But he hadn’t. That was half the problem, wasn’t it? By doing that, Touya had just marked himself further. There was still a lot that Shigaraki didn’t know about Touya’s history and likely never would. They had told each other enough, but not everything. It wasn’t in them to be that open, but they didn’t need to be. The moment Touya had pointed out that All for One was manipulating Shigaraki, something had shifted between them. Sure, Shigaraki had always more or less known that was the case, but he hadn’t realized how much he was letting it happen until he figured out that Touya had gone through something similar but more openly brutal.

“After everything we did, I didn’t think I belonged with them,” Touya continued, staring ahead sightlessly. “I didn’t fit in. It’d be easier if I stayed out of their lives and didn’t ruin them any more than I already had.” He tilted his head up, his eyes fixing on the television in the corner. He never had the news on, but if there was a major villain attack, they would be alerted anyway. Exposure was one of a villain’s main goals, after all. “But here’s the thing: you can choose who you want in your life, but you can’t choose who wants to be in it. I didn’t think they’d want me around, but then I saw Fuyumi and…”

Shigaraki folded his arms on the bartop and dropped his chin on them. “Fucking softie. I know you missed them. We weren’t the family you wanted.”

“Meh, the League was a good fill-in,” Touya mused. Toga might’ve been hurt by the comment, but Shigaraki had known from the start Touya kept himself one space removed from everyone else. They all had their motives for joining the League, some more ulterior than others. Had he ever figured out why Sako joined them? “But now we’ve got actual family, which is wild. It doesn’t seem real. I’ll wake up and hear Fuyumi cooking breakfast or wake up to a text from Natsuo or see Shouto on the news and- It’s weird.”

“Do you ever miss it?” Shigaraki asked edgily.

“Villainy?” Touya scratched his chin. “I mean, it was kind of fun when we were more like vigilantes. It felt like we had a leg up on the heroes.”

It had. Shigaraki wasn’t sure how that had happened. Getting rid of other villain groups had come about first as a means to survive. After taking out the Yakuza and then slumming it for a while, they figured out that robbing villains was safer. They couldn’t report their losses to the authorities. Slowly but surely, as time progressed and they learned more about themselves, it happened more and more. There was always a reason - more territory, resources, lower level members, shit like that - but then Shigaraki turned on All for One and all he wanted to do was tear apart the man from the inside out, even if that meant clashing with heroes too.

All for One hadn’t just had villains on his side. Finding out he had pro hero agents as well rocked everyone. It turned out hero society was more corrupt than even Stain had imagined. Ugh.

“I guess I miss it sometimes,” Touya admitted. “Maybe not the villainy itself but the feelings that came with it - the control over my life. I finally felt like my quirk fit in my skin - like I fit in it. I was able to match the power raging inside of me - the confidence that I’d faked for years. I could be angry and it was okay. It felt good at times.”

“And the other times?”

“Never felt so fucking low in my life,” Touya finished, “and that’s saying something.”

Shigaraki lifted his head so he could gesture to the bar behind him. “You feel better now? Higher?”

“I would if my parole officer didn’t have me piss in a cup once a week,” Touya quipped. Shigaraki didn’t even bother snapping at him. He might have looked the delinquent part, but Touya had never smoked anything other than cigarettes in his life. Even those could make him feel light-headed if he was dehydrated. All that firepower rolling inside of such a delicately put-together body. It must have frustrated the hell out of him - and disappointed Endeavor. “It’s not so bad. This is better than being on the streets, committing petty crimes and mugging people just to survive. I can at least say this is living.”

“Touya Todoroki being positive?” Shigaraki drank more of his beer as if toasting to him. “Who would’ve thought it?”

“Someone has to counteract your piss poor attitude.” Touya folded his arms across his chest. “Shit is weird and it’s only gotten weirder since you had a serial killer plop a kid in your lap. I get it. The way I see it, you’ve got two options: you can keep whining like a little baby and give up or you can act like the leader I eventually learned to follow and get shit done.”

Shigaraki huffed. “Yeah, but-”

“Nope, no ‘buts’. Just do it. This is your life, so you’ve gotta do shit about it. Didn’t you learn that lesson already?”

He had, but that didn’t make it any easier. By now, he knew he could be at least a decent father, but that didn’t mean he had the right to be one. Yukiko would grow older. One day, she would ask questions. She might even read about the League’s impact on society and their oh-so terrible crimes in school. Other kids might tease her. Teachers would know. His history would follow her no matter what he did to be better now. How was that fair?

And Uraraka… She had experienced the backlash of the media once before over a stupid break up. Shigaraki had used the media’s penchant for turning against heroes quickly and dishing out dirt on villains to his advantage. They were cold-hearted vultures, even worse than villains sometimes. He had known that the media was a weapon as much as it was a source of information. Was she prepared to suffer that backlash again? He highly doubted the media would be kind to a hero being friendly with someone like him. Was he supposed to care about that?

Touya fixed him with a cold, unrelenting look that drew Shigaraki’s attention. It must have been hereditary since it was was the kind that only Todorokis seemed capable of giving. How had he not seen it before? It was so obvious now. “Is your life better with Yukiko in it?”

“Yes.”

“What about Uraraka?”

Shigaraki tapped his fingers along the bartop and grit out, “Yes.”

“See? Was that so difficult?” Touya relaxed as he unfolded his arms, but then a stupid grin appeared on his face, one that made Shigaraki immediately regret opening up. “You know, you coming here talking to me implies that you want me in your life and my presence makes it better.”

Yup, he definitely regretted it. Shigaraki drank more of his beer instead of answering, glaring over the rim as Touya chuckled and walked away to deal with another customer. He pulled out his phone to check on a text from Fuyumi.

Yukiko is doing great! Just ate. How’s your night going so far?

Your twin is an asshole.

Aw glad you two are having fun!

If this was fun, he really needed to get out more. Shigaraki knew better than to say that out loud. He knew exactly what Touya would suggest and he didn’t need to explain why his idea of fun was a shit one. Wasn’t that how he landed in this situation to begin with? Besides, who would he even do that with? No way in hell was he going to make the mistake of finding someone at random again. Nope, he was officially not in a “fun” mood. He was just going to drink a few more beers and then go home to sleep. That was his idea of fun at this point in his life.

Chapter 20: Alcohol is gonna make you talk to people you wish you didn't

Notes:

I had a few choices about the way this chapter could go, but I love the one I settled on. Man, Hori has been killing it with these latest chapters. Some people might think I'm more discouraged because of Shigaraki's arc, but to be honest, I'm living for it even more. I love a good challenge, a good story, and a hard-fought redemption. As for this story, yeah, Shigaraki really needed this kick in the ass.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Shigaraki was drunk as fuck.

Unlike some people, he was able to hold himself together in public, but Touya knew a drunk when he saw one. The dumbass was rooted to his seat at the bar, having not moved for a solid forty-five minutes. Plus, he’d been nursing the same mixed drink for just as long, spinning a straw around the glass and watching the ice that Touya kept refilling swirl around with a gaze that was both far too focused and removed at the same time.

The biggest sign that Shigaraki was too far gone was he’d gone deathly quiet. Short of literally prodding him, Touya wasn’t sure anything would snap him out of the mopey ass trance he’d fallen into. During the times they drank together, Touya typically got drunk first, if only because it didn’t take him much. He had to go terribly slow or the night would end in an hour. Either way, it usually ended with Shigaraki doing the heavy lifting, buzzed or not, and he always came off as somewhat put together in Touya’s foggy memory.

This was different. Despite the unconventional and aggressive pep talk earlier, Shigaraki fell into an even darker slump that Touya knew better than to try to pull him out of. He’d done what he could. Now it was someone else’s turn. All the things Shigaraki had kept locked inside since Yukiko came into his life were spilling out into the open. Instead of rambling about them though, he was letting them swallow him whole. Tomorrow was going to hurt like hell for him and not just because of the hangover.

Once Shigaraki’s head started bobbing back and forth in his palm, Touya knew he was done for. It was only a matter of time before he slumped passed out against the bartop. Maybe he shouldn’t have served him that last drink, but he had tipped really well to convince Touya not to push the matter further. Was it wrong to take money from friends? Uh, no, it was his job. He’d take money from anyone at this point, save his father and most villains. Medical bills on top of rent, utilities, and taxes were a bitch.

Touya waited until Shigaraki dropped. There was a policy against sleeping at the bar, but it was a slow ass night and no one would question him. Besides, it wouldn’t be for long. He slid to the customer side of the bar and, after making sure Shigaraki was out, searched his jacket pocket. Pulling out the phone, he wandered back behind the bar as he searched through the contacts.

Fuyumi was out. Besides the fact that she was watching Yukiko, there was no way in hell he would foist a drunk Shigaraki on her. She deserved better than that. Shouto might do in a pinch, but he was still mad at Shigaraki for hanging around Uraraka. Ah, well, there was her. Touya found her contact info in Shigaraki’s cell and pulled up the text chat between them.

Like I wanna hang out with that stupid fucker

That stupid fucker is your best friend. I hope you know that.

Touya huffed out a low laugh. All that talk and Shigaraki still came here, drank with him, and passed out. He wouldn’t have allowed himself to be that vulnerable with other people. Not that this was Shigaraki vulnerable. He might have been more honest and open, but it had taken some pushing and pulling. Touya idly wondered if Uraraka had as much trouble getting through to him or if she pushed that far. Probably not. Judging by how much Shigaraki had let her in, she could break through a wall, but she wasn’t a bulldozer or he would’ve resisted more.

Still, she did know how to sass him right back. Good. He needed that. Touya was still wary about her, even though he did think she was one of Shouto’s better friends, but as weird as it was, she seemed to be good for Shigaraki. Now, was he good for her? It was debatable, something which he was starting to realize.

Part of the reason why Shigaraki had come here was because of Uraraka. She hadn’t done anything wrong, which was a problem in itself. He kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. The longer he waited, the more he didn’t want it to happen, even if he did get satisfaction out of being right about others. Getting Shigaraki to admit even a little that he liked Uraraka around was an accomplishment. He liked being around people, but he didn’t like liking it either. It made him uncomfortable. Weirdo. Having that person be a pro hero too and it was asking for a fight with cognitive dissociation.

Touya stared at the empty text box. If he messaged or called her, he didn’t doubt she would answer. Regardless of his thoughts about her intentions, he was pretty sure Uraraka was a good person. She hadn’t ignored Shigaraki yet and that was saying something. It wasn’t her that he was suddenly worried about. Of course, he wasn’t worried about Shigaraki, but the guy had come slumming here because of his conflicting thoughts about her. Touya still wasn’t exactly sure what they were (and he doubted Shigaraki knew either), but they were complicated, to say the least. Had she struggled with this as well?

As full as he was of terrible ideas, Touya realized calling her now might be one of the worst ones yet. Normally he didn’t mind bad ideas - in fact, he kind of liked them sometimes - but he didn’t know how Shigaraki would react to seeing her, especially if it was to help him. It might be...unpleasant. People did a lot of shit things when they were drunk that they regretted when they were sober. On top of his own experience (no more drunk texting for him), he saw it happen on a near nightly basis.

If Shigaraki messed up the tentative whatever it was he had with Uraraka, it would piss him off. No, it would upset him, but he wouldn’t want to admit it. He could pass it off all he wanted and say he was bothered because Yukiko liked Uraraka and was close with her, but Yukiko was a fucking baby. If Uraraka faded out of their lives, in five or six years, Yukiko would forget her. Hell, he couldn’t remember anything from before he was three, which was shit since that meant most of his memories were after his quirk manifested. Go fucking figure.

Blowing out some air, Touya clicked out of the chat and away from Uraraka’s contact info. No, he might’ve jumped onto bad ideas like they were going out of style, but not when they were for someone else. However, he had no clue who else he could call to get Shigaraki home, save for a cab or-

He raised his eyebrows when his eyes landed on a contact. Midoriya? Shigaraki had Izuku Midoriya’s number? The number one hero? Oh, yeah, he had given it to Shigaraki after finding out that Uraraka was helping him. According to the phone’s history records, there had been no contact between him and Shigaraki, no calls or texts. He hadn’t taken Midoriya’s offer of help yet.

Touya glanced at Shigaraki snoring at the bar and then back at the phone. Well, this was better than calling Uraraka. Shigaraki might hate him later and maybe even not talk to him for a while, but it could’ve been much worse. Midoriya could handle Shigaraki’s drunken ramblings and Shigaraki would be irritated, but if he dumped all of that on her, he would’ve been infuriated and mortified. It was the lesser of two shitty choices.

Figuring a call would be easier and quicker than a text, Touya called him and then pressed the phone to his ear. Most people thought he was impatient, but he really had a lot. He’d waited years to take his dad down after all and then didn’t even take the final shot when he had it. He could wait.

“Hello?” a tired voice answered on the other end near the last ring.

“Midoriya?”

“Who’s asking?” Sharper now. Getting a call from an unknown number would do that to a hero.

Touya leaned back against the bar. “It’s Touya, Shouto’s brother.” You know, the former villain one.

That certainly caught Midoriya’s attention. “Is Shouto-?”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Touya cut in. “This isn’t about him. I’m actually calling from Shigaraki’s phone.”

“Oh.” A thoughtful pause. “Is he...okay?”

“How serious were you about helping him out?” Touya questioned.

“Very,” Midoriya instantly answered. So genuine, so kind. Man, it was almost too easy to manipulate heroes, but he didn’t get to the number one position by being soft. Touya had seen Midoriya in action on the news. Compassionate and goofy as he might be, he was not a hero to fuck around with. “Why are you calling?”

“Shigaraki is incapacitated at the moment.”

“What-?”

“He’s wasted.”

Silence echoed over the phone as the information sunk in. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I was going to call Uraraka since he’s all buddy-buddy with her and I’m not sure how much he talks to his coworkers, but…”

Midoriya sighed. “Yeah, that’s probably not a good idea. What kind of drunk is he?”

“Mopey as fuck,” Touya helpfully supplied. “He’s passed out on my bar. I’d like him to get home, but I’m still working and I can’t exactly leave him here.” He paused, not for dramatic effect but it worked. He could hear Midoriya’s mind flying a mile a second. If Touya was calling him, then there really was no one else to help. He didn’t know Midoriya personally, but he’d listened to Shouto talk about him. He couldn’t say no to someone asking for help, even if it was an indirect call. “So, you gonna help out, hero?”

“Of course. I guess weirder things than picking up my former nemesis from a bar will happen to me.”

Touya snorted. “Former nemesis. He’ll like that. Say it when you get here.”

“Why did he get drunk in the first place?”

“Well, he’s not typically a talkative drunk,” Touya admitted, “but I’m sure he’ll give you an earful if you ask.” He scratched the side of his face. “He’s been awfully open tonight.”

And he was definitely going to regret that come tomorrow. Without those hands severing him from everyone else, he was forced to be more open and he hated it. He’d gotten better about it - so had Touya - but it was still weird. It would be even weirder when the person was someone he tried to kill multiple times as a teenager, but then again, he’d tried to kill Touya once or twice too.

After giving Midoriya the address and advising him to dress as incognito as possible, Touya hung up and set the phone on the bartop next to Shigaraki. He’d think he took it out of his pocket and didn’t remember. It’d be about thirty minutes before Midoriya showed up, but Touya didn’t mind letting Shigaraki sleep on the bar. Maybe a few people tossed weird or amused looks in his direction, but all Touya had to do was glare and they backed off. No one would bother Shigaraki. Besides, he’d seen what that guy was like when he woke up unprepared. It wasn’t good.

Right when Touya expected him, Midoriya showed up. He wore jeans, plain hoodie, and a beanie covering his wild green hair, somehow able to hide the build of a hero. If Touya didn’t know him on sight, he might’ve mistaken him for a simply in-shape civilian. How he continued to look average was beyond him, but it must have come in handy when he didn’t want to be recognized in public.

An anxious smile twitched onto Midoriya’s face until his eyes landed on Shigaraki at the bar and it dropped. “Oh, he’s really out of it.”

“First night out without the wiggle worm and it’s when he’s in a sour ass mood,” Touya said by way of greeting. “I’ll wake him up so he doesn’t immediately take a swing at you.”

Midoriya furrowed his brow. “Thanks?”

He better thank him. Touya was risking his life here.

Reaching over the bar, Touya shook Shigaraki by the arm. “Yo, wake up. Your ride home is here.”

“Fuck, get off me,” Shigaraki mumbled, his voice muffled by the bar. He weakly swatted at Touya’s hand, a minor gesture that would’ve ended horrifically if not for his gloves. “’M not asleep.”

“Yeah you were,” Touya replied. “Now get up.”

Shigaraki still didn’t lift his head. “Didja call me a cab or some shit?”

“Not exactly,” Midoriya chimed in.

Suddenly very much awake, Shigaraki whipped his head up. Unfortunately, he lacked the coordination to move that fast and would’ve fallen off the stool had he not gripped the edge of the bar so tightly. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I’m your ride?”

“No.” Shigaraki shook his head wildly, which was a terrible idea. He stopped and put a hand against his head to stave off the dizziness. Poor, dumb fool. Touya hadn’t seen him this drunk in forever, normally because he passed out first and Shigaraki wasn’t much a drinker. “No, no, no. You’re not… I’m not gettin’ in a car with you. Why are you here? You don’t come here. This isn’t your...waterin’ hole. Get out. Go away.”

“I called him,” Touya cut in.

Shigaraki gawked at him with such a deep, incredulous look of betrayal that Touya almost laughed. “ Why ?” His voice was little more than a horrified whisper. “Why would you do somethin’ so...so...fuckin’ dumb?”

“You needed a ride home and I honestly didn’t know if you’d make it in a cab.”

“I’m fine!” Shigaraki slid off the stool to prove it and promptly stumbled. Thankfully, Midoriya didn’t move to help him. Perhaps he knew it would’ve been a mistake. Shigaraki’s case also wasn’t helped by the fact that he was slurring his words either. He was trying so very hard to appear okay enough to not need Midoriya’s help, but Touya was around drunks almost every night. He knew when the line had been crossed. Shigaraki would be lucky if he didn’t fall asleep on the ride home. He probably wouldn’t only out of sheer spite.

Even if he didn’t want Midoriya’s help, what Shigaraki needed was to get his ass in bed. Despite being obviously drunk, he would continue to argue and maybe even cause a scene, neither of which Touya wanted to deal with and Shigaraki would regret come morning. He had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but he wasn’t above being dirty and playing his trump card immediately. The high ground? He didn’t know what that was.

Pressing his hands against the bar, Touya leaned over. “Well, it was either him, Uraraka, or All Might - and I didn’t think you’d want your favorite hero to see you like this.” He smiled in the face of Shigaraki’s vacant yet shocked gaze. Oh the effects alcohol had on a person. It could make someone feel things so deeply and numb them at the same time. “I mean, unless you want her around right now. Wasn’t the last time you were this drunk when you-?”

“Alright, alright!” Shigaraki exclaimed, a furious scowl on his red face. “You’re such a fuckin’ asshole.”

“I’m an amazing friend that you cherish being in your life,” Touya quipped. Shigaraki’s scowl deepened. “You’ll thank me in the morning.”

“No I won’t.” Ah, he was probably right. That was if he even remembered half of tonight. He swung his murderous glare in Midoriya’s direction. To give him credit, Midoriya didn’t flinch or even blink. He wasn’t wearing that anxious smile anymore, but he still gave off a cautiously pleasant air. No, Shigaraki’s days of being a living nightmare for Midoriya were over. He was just a sad drunk right now. It was kind of pitiful. “Don’t fuckin’ talk to me. Got it?”

When Midoriya mimed zipping up his mouth, Shigaraki groaned. Luckily, he had paid Touya before passing out so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. He waved a dismissive hand at Touya without looking back at him. Some might have been offended by the rude gesture, but he honestly didn’t mind.

Midoriya let Shigaraki stagger out of the bar first. “You good?”

“Yeah, he already paid.” Touya considered the number one hero for a moment. “Be warned. He’s in a mood.”

“I probably won’t make it much better,” Midoriya said.

“Probably not.” Touya picked up the glass and dumped out the drink. “But he won’t try to kill you at least. He wouldn’t want to upset Uraraka.”

Midoriya scratched the back of his head. “That’s...comforting, I suppose.” He sighed. “I’ll get him home safely. Don’t worry.” Touya most definitely wasn’t worried. The non-reaction from him more than likely confirmed as such for the hero, but he didn’t appear phased. Ah, well, he was used to Shouto. “I’ll let you know when he’s there.”

“Whatever floats your boat, hero.”

After taking one last look around the bar, Midoriya followed Shigaraki outside. Hopefully, he was still there and hadn’t tried walking home on his own or calling a cab to pick him up. He was sneaky like that. Touya snorted and grabbed the rag to wipe down the bar. He would not want to be in that car with them. No way in hell.

He also didn’t want to be home tonight if Fuyumi was babysitting Yukiko. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. Time to make some last minute plans. Ah, it shouldn’t be that difficult. Touya could be convincing when he wanted to be.

*

Getting Shigaraki into his car was more of a task than anything else. He kept trying to walk in other directions and refused to get in. Midoriya really didn’t want to resort to underhanded tactics to get him to listen (what if he took it too hard and used it to fuel his grudge against him even more?), but he was a bit desperate after fifteen minutes. Arguing with drunk people was one thing - he was in his mid-twenties, so he’d done it a time or two, especially when he was just a sidekick - but arguing with a drunk Shigaraki was something else entirely.

He was clearly drunk, but he could still speak...mostly coherently. He was fully aware he was being difficult for no reason and did it anyway out of spite. He said purposely mean and rude things to convince Midoriya to leave. He might have even meant some of them, but that didn’t really upset Midoriya. However, he was tired and, honestly, he wanted to go home too. Dealing with those earthquakes and the aftermath had been rough. Nearly losing Uraraka and watching her struggle even more so. He needed time to process it and Shigaraki was acting like a brat.

Finally, after arguing with him over calling a cab or another driving service, Midoriya had enough. Time to bring out the big guns. He saw the way Shigaraki reacted when Touya did so earlier. This was a good way to test out a hypothesis he had started to come up with while talking with Uraraka.

Midoriya put his hands on his hips. “Fine then.”

Shigaraki swayed slightly and arched an eyebrow. “Fine?”

“Yeah, fine.” Midoriya shrugged. “If you don’t want me to take you home, that’s okay. I’ll get someone else.”

“Someone else…” Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. “Who are you gonna call? All Might?”

Disdain dripped from Shigaraki’s voice when he said the name. Years ago, it might have infuriated Midoriya and got him worked up, but he was old enough now to know it didn’t matter. Shigaraki would always have complicated feelings towards All Might and therefore him too. He wasn’t mad about that. He didn’t have any right to tell someone how they felt about someone else. Getting upset over something like that was pointless. He wasn’t frustrated over Shigaraki’s feelings about All Might. He simply wanted to sleep.

“No, I’m not going to call him.” Midoriya pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll call Uraraka.”

Shigaraki’s jaw tightened. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” Midoriya retorted. “You know she was really sad that she couldn’t see Yukiko. She didn’t want to bother you, but to be honest, I think she kinda missed you too.”

It was both the right and wrong thing to say. Shigaraki pressed a hand against his head and turned away, muttering a simple, “Stop it,” before he shuffled to the passenger side of the car. Midoriya sighed in relief. He hadn’t been lying. During the worst parts of their time working together the past few weeks, he quickly figured out that talking about Yukiko usually brought a smile to Uraraka’s face. The conversation inevitably went to Shigaraki.

Her smile didn’t fade.

After invading her privacy so horribly, Midoriya wasn’t about to pry further. If there was something she wanted to tell him, she would. Until then, the best thing he could do for her was listen. He was good at that. If Shigaraki needed the same tonight, he could do that as well, no matter how tired he was. He’d sworn to help out however he could. He wouldn’t abandon Shigaraki if he needed help - even if he didn’t think he did. Something had triggered him into getting drunk enough not to be able to go home on his own to the point where Touya called him. It would’ve made more sense to call Uraraka, which made him think Shigaraki’s state might have something to do with her. But why?

Midoriya glanced at Shigaraki in the passenger seat. He wasn’t passed out, but that might’ve been for the better, considering he was trying to text and failing miserably. “So, uh, who you messaging?”

“None of your business,” Shigaraki snapped. He scratched his neck and then continued texting. Midoriya could tell it wasn’t going as well as he expected by the way his frown deepened. He squirmed in his seat and held the phone closer to his face like that might help. “Fuyumi. I just wanna know how Yukiko’s doin’. I shouldn’t- fuck, I shouldn’t have gotten this drunk. What kind of dad am I?”

“A regular one?” Midoriya offered. His dad had never been around in his childhood since his job was in the States. Even if All Might was dating his mother now, it was different since Midoriya was an adult and no longer lived at home. “This is your first night without her since you found out you were a father, right?”

Shigaraki grit his teeth. “Still doesn’t… I should be there.”

Not in this state, Midoriya thought.

“It’s late,” Midoriya pointed out. “What if they’re asleep?”

“Jokes on you if you think Yukiko is sleepin’.”

Midoriya shook his head. “You know, she might sleep better without you there.” Shigaraki opened his mouth, but Midoriya continued full force, “She wakes and stays up because she wants to be near and close to you. Without you around, she doesn’t have that desire - or you - to fall back on.” He smiled. “She’s dependant on you. That’s a good thing. She wants to be with you.”

“Oh like what? Like she’s, uh…” Shigaraki struggled to come up with the right term, squinting his eyes like that might help him somehow. It only made the crow’s feet around his eyes stand out more. “Dad’s girl?”

“Daddy’s girl?” Midoriya offered.

“That sounds stupid.” Shigaraki wrinkled his nose. “I bet you were such a mama’s boy.”

Some might’ve considered that an insult - and he probably meant it as one - but Midoriya actually laughed. “I was - very much so. My mom was my whole world. For the longest time, it felt like she was the only one there for me.” Shigaraki stared at him hard - or as hard as he could when he had difficulty concentrating. He was trying though and that was what counted. “My dad moved to the States when I was two for a job. Besides video chats here and there, I didn’t see him for years. Some days, I kind of forgot he existed. It was only my mom.”

Shigaraki blinked slowly. “And you...fared okay?”

Midoriya shrugged. “Some days were hard, but it was harder on her than me.” He paused, thinking about One for All flowing through him. Shigaraki knew he had it thanks to All for One. It had been an unavoidable confrontation. To know that his enemy’s life had also been washed down the drain at the same age as his but for a lack of a quirk instead of a manifestation of one… Midoriya wasn’t sure what Shigaraki made of it. He’d never had the chance to ask. His lack of a quirk and One for All aside, he knew his mother had done everything she to give him everything he could ever want for. “I had a good life. I can’t complain.”

“You could, you know,” Shigaraki said. “Complain, I mean.”

“Sure, I could,” Midoriya quipped, “but I don’t see the point.”

“No, ‘course not.” Shigaraki rolled his eyes back to his phone. “You’d rather keep on smiling like nothing’s wrong.”

“I keep on smiling because something is wrong,” Midoriya corrected. Shigaraki shot him a brief glare before looking away again. “It’s not always easy and sometimes I don’t want to do it - sometimes I can’t, to be honest - but if I can help at least one person, I’m happy. It’s not enough, but it’s something.”

Shigaraki’s head lolled back against the seat. “Oh, and I guess I’m that one person today, huh?” He dropped his hands and phone in his lap, giving up on trying to send a text message that made sense or lacked grammatical errors. “Lucky me.”

Midoriya smirked as he made the turn that would lead him to Shigaraki’s apartment. “It’s not every day that you get personally saved by the Number One Hero - well, maybe for you.”

“Shut up,” Shigaraki half-heartedly snapped, his eyes already closed. It wasn’t long before he was breathing softly, his head slumped to the side and neck bent in an awkward angle. Man, that was going to hurt when he woke up. To be honest, Midoriya was kind of surprised it took him that long to pass out, considering the state he was in, but he didn’t complain about that either. Dealing with a passed out Shigaraki in the car was so much easier than an argumentative drunk one.

Now, when it was time to get him out of the car, that was going to be another story. He’d cross that bridge when he got there. At least he put his gloves on in case he grabbed something with all five fingers while intoxicated.

It turned out Midoriya didn’t have to worry. As soon as his car jerked into the parking position, Shigaraki stirred awake and blearily looked out the window of the car. He stared at a minivan parked beside them for a solid minute before pushing the passenger door open and all but stumbling out. Midoriya was at his side in a flash, having to use his quirk to reach him in time to catch him so he didn’t do a faceplant in the asphalt.

“Get off me, you asswipe,” Shigaraki ground out.

Midoriya raised his eyebrows. Well, it was better not to fight him too much and let him learn on his own like all intoxicated idiots. “Okay, if you insist.”

When he let go of Shigaraki and stepped aside, the man immediately went sprawling forward and smacked into the brick wall. Midoriya winced. That had to hurt. Shigaraki swore viciously as he pushed himself away from the one with one hand and rubbed his face with the other. Luckily, he didn’t have a bloody nose or anything, but there was definitely a red mark that he was not going to point out. Shigaraki could find that on his own in the morning.

Seeing as how Shigaraki had told him to not touch him, Midoriya hung back and followed him into his apartment building. He managed to make it into the elevator and push the right button before slumping against the wall, his arms holding himself up just barely. Geez, either he couldn’t hold his liquor or he drank a lot. Considering that he didn’t think Shigaraki was that much of a drinker, it was probably a combination of the two. Poor guy. He had his first night without his kid and spiraled. It would’ve been touching if he wasn’t concerned Shigaraki might puke on his shoes.

“You don’t have to follow me,” Shigaraki muttered, his eyes closed and head tilted back against the wall.

“I know,” Midoriya replied, “but I promised Touya that I would see you home.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Like that bastard cares.”

“He cared enough to call me to help you out,” Midoriya pointed out.

Instead of shooting something snappy back at him, Shigaraki clenched his jaw and stayed quiet. From what Uraraka and Todoroki had told him, Shigaraki and Touya had a strange friendship where they picked at each other constantly, didn’t even seem to like one another, and yet depended on each other regularly. Todoroki still didn’t like him around, but, if Midoriya was being honest, he didn’t think the two were that bad for each other. They kept one another in check, if only because no one else knew what the other was truly like at their worst or best. Maybe they refused to call or acknowledge each other as friends, but that was what they were.

It took a full minute for Shigaraki to get into his apartment, but Midoriya thought part of it was exhaustion. Only until Midoriya swiped the keys from him and unlocked the door himself did they manage to get inside. It must have pissed Shigaraki to no end that he needed any sort of help, especially from him, but he kept his mouth shut. Maybe he was too tired to fight now. Midoriya could feel the itch to ask questions - he couldn’t help himself sometimes - but he bit his tongue and willed himself not to ask. Touya had said Shigaraki might talk if asked, but it wouldn’t be right to take advantage of him while he was in this state.

“Go ahead.”

Midoriya jumped. “Huh?”

Shigaraki swayed on the spot and then pressed a hand on the back of his couch to hold himself up. “Go ahead and ask whatever is on your mind. Your thinkin’ is givin’ me a headache.”

“Pretty sure it’s the alcohol.”

Shigaraki narrowed his vibrant red eyes. They weren’t that different from Kacchan’s these days. “Fuck off then.”

Instead of fucking off, Midoriya huffed. “Well, okay, I’m worried, of course. You got piss drunk enough to the point where Touya thought you needed my help. I feel like I would’ve heard if something was really wrong, so I don’t know if it’s maybe something else.”

“What? You and Uraraka gab about me all the time?”

“No, we don’t,” Midoriya said without hesitation. “I was really nosy before, and it was inappropriate. I don’t need to know everything going on in Uraraka’s life - or yours. She values your privacy, so she doesn’t tell me anything unless it’s like something really cute with Yukiko, but I can tell she doesn’t mind being around you.”

Shigaraki stared at him flatly. “Doesn’t mind bein’ around me.”

Midoriya rolled his eyes. “She enjoys your presence.”

“It’s Yukiko, not me,” Shigaraki stated, folding his arms across his chest. He might’ve cut an intimidating figure if he didn’t immediately stumble backward when the couch skidded on the floor behind him. Somehow, he managed to not fall on his face. Midoriya didn’t even move to help him. He wouldn’t want it and honestly, he kind of deserved a face plant at the moment.

“Yeah, it’s Yukiko,” Midoriya agreed, “but it’s also you.” He tossed Shigaraki’s keys onto his table. “You think she’d stick around to hang out even for a second if she didn’t like being around you?”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow in thought and then looked away. “She’s polite. It’s the polite thing to do.”

“She could still be polite and leave as soon as you get back,” Midoriya pointed out. “She could still be nice and even text you about Yukiko throughout the week, but I have a feeling it’s a little more than that.” Shigaraki didn’t respond, but it was almost like he was refusing to react - like he didn’t want to admit Uraraka might not just be his babysitter and was actually something more. It must be hard - wanting ties and being so wary of them at the same time. “Seeing as how you’re acting like a total asshole, I don’t know why she enjoys being around you, but, whether you want to admit it or not, you’re friends. Simple as that.”

“We’re not friends,” Shigaraki snapped.

“Yeah, you are,” Midoriya shot back. “Maybe not like you’re friends with Touya” - and if that didn’t make him sputter incoherently like a broken faucet - “but I can tell you like being around her too.” He pointed an accusing finger at Shigaraki, which nearly made him stumble again in his drunken state. He was not a happy drunk. Midoriya would have to give Uraraka the heads up about that at least. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be struggling so much with it. Okay, it’s a really weird situation - and I’ll admit to being concerned - but it’s not a bad one. So pull your head out of your ass, get over yourself, and go to bed.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll feel better in the morning despite the hangover-”

“No, I mean-” Shigaraki pressed a hand against his head. He must not have been lying about the headache. Midoriya would have one too if he’d drank as much as Shigaraki had tonight. “Why would she…?” He threw his hands up in a way that suggested he was giving up. “Touya is biased because we...worked together - but you know me, Midoriya. You know my history, my record, my...pattern of behavior.” He was trying so hard to talk coherently and intelligently, but it was an obvious struggle for someone so tired and intoxicated. “I’m not good. I don’t know if I’ll ever be good. The most I can hope for is that I’m not bad, and she deserves better than that.”

“Is that what you’re going to tell Yukiko when she’s older?”

Shigaraki snapped his mouth shut. That hit a nerve. It was easy to deal with Yukiko right now while she was a baby, but eventually, she was going to get older and start asking questions. Midoriya had done the same in the beginning, pestering his mom with questions about where his dad was and why he wasn’t home for his birthday. It never got easier for her.

“I dunno what I’m doin’,” Shigaraki admitted. “I dunno...” He growled, probably irritated with his slurring. “I’m tryin’ to do right by Yukiko, but I’m pretty sure I’m failin’ her somehow every day and it freaks me out. It isn’t like there’s a tutorial for raisin’ a kid right. I’m tryin’ to live my life like society says I should, but I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’ve got this...thing with Uraraka and I don’t even know what it is. I’m positive I’ll fuck that up somehow and mess with one of the few good things in Yukiko’s life.”

Oh man, this was worse than Midoriya thought. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he really going to have to try to placate Shigaraki somehow? Comfort him? No doubt he would reject something like that. He didn’t want anyone to pity him, especially now that he felt stuck in a civilian role he didn’t know what to do with.

What he didn’t realize was that so many people his age - people who had never gone through the trauma he had - felt the same way. They were aimless, confused, and unsure. They were at a stand still in their lives or couldn’t figure a way out. He wasn’t the only one who thought he wasn’t good enough because of all the marks against him, but life wasn’t made up of a tally score. That wasn’t how things worked. How could he possibly explain to someone as drunk and admittedly with as many issues as him that things like that didn’t matter to Uraraka?

The good didn’t outweigh the bad. Todoroki might have made amends with his father, but Midoriya knew a part of him would never completely forgive him. There would always be that part of him that held back. And that was okay. Endeavor might have done what he could to become a better person and he had one of the most impressive records in hero history, but that didn’t make up for what he’d done to his family. Not by a long shot. Touya was a testament to that. Todoroki said his oldest brother wouldn’t even accept help from their father for his medical treatment. A change in ways couldn’t erase the way things were before.

Likewise, if that was the case, the bad couldn’t outweigh the good either. Midoriya would never be able to understand Shigaraki’s views on his past as a villain. Had he even seen himself as one at first or had he reveled in it? Such things were hard to say, especially since his path had taken such a drastic turn. They hadn’t been much of villains anymore, not when they took out more bad guys than some heroes. They hadn’t used the proper channels and they had, by and large, used much harsher means than a hero would dare, but Midoriya had understood his frustration.

Now that he was neither one of those things, Shigaraki found himself in a strange position. On top of that, he was a father now. Did he not realize how much good he’d done by saving Yukiko? Maybe he didn’t think of it that way considering he was struggling to learn how to be a father - maybe he still thought it selfish - but Midoriya knew plenty of heroes who would have given the child away. If Shigaraki had let them, the heroes on the scene that night would have taken her, given her to a social worker, and washed their hands of her and never seen her again. Case closed.

Meanwhile, Shigaraki had uprooted his entire life for a child he had known for all of a few minutes.

Maybe he wasn’t good. But he wasn’t awful either.

“Would it have made your life better if Uraraka hadn’t stuck around?” Midoriya asked.

“It would’ve made it less confusin’,” Shigaraki muttered. Probably, but he wasn’t the only one confused. Midoriya knew for a fact that Uraraka couldn’t explain it either, if only because she felt guilty about it. She didn’t want to admit that she was afraid she was betraying Kacchan somehow. She wasn’t, but she still worried about what he thought even if she no longer had feelings for him. “She’s so weird. People shouldn’t be that bubbly. She shouldn’t… She shouldn’t want to be around me. I almost ruined her life before. And I know everyone keeps sayin’ I’m different and I’ve changed, but I still did that shit. I was hateful and dangerous and maybe I don’t know how to be good - maybe it’s not in me - maybe I’m too fucked up or somethin’. Fuck , I wish I wasn’t this drunk.”

It appeared as if empathy had struck Shigaraki right in the face, and he wasn’t dealing with it particularly well.

He also clearly didn’t know how he felt about Uraraka, which was...interesting.

“What would make you feel better?” Midoriya patiently asked.

“What d’ya mean?” Shigaraki slumped sideways but caught himself again. Ah, he was fading fast. That tended to be a side effect of alcohol. There was a chance he wouldn’t even remember this part of their conversation if he was fighting sleep. He rubbed his eyes and walked over to a large box. From what Midoriya could see from the picture on the side, it was a crib. Huh. Yukiko was around the age for sleep training. “For shit to make sense.”

Midoriya smiled. “Life doesn’t always work that way. In fact, it’s been kind of the opposite for us, hasn’t it?” Shigaraki snorted, but he didn’t argue either. Likely, he was simply too out of it and didn’t have the energy. “If it made things less confusing, would you rather Uraraka not be in your life?”

“What? No.” Shigaraki shook his head, then stopped and squinted when that proved to be a mistake. “I mean- Yukiko would be sad. She’s an…important part of her life or whatever.”

Yukiko. Right. Because this was just about a baby who wouldn’t even remember Uraraka if she stopped coming around now. Midoriya didn’t remember the first year of his life when his dad was around. Yukiko wouldn’t remember anything from this year either, not her biological mom or Shigaraki taking her in or Uraraka offering to help. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, this issue was more about him than her.

“If this really an issue, you should talk with her about it,” Midoriya told him.

“No.”

“Afraid she’ll confirm everything I’ve said?”

Shigaraki turned away from him and ran his hand over the box. Midoriya was almost positive he wasn’t going to respond and turned to leave when Shigaraki spoke up. “More like sure she’ll figure out she doesn’t need this and leave. That’s what everyone else does, right?”

Oh, that… hurt, but it was a fear Midoriya knew Shigaraki didn’t need to worry about. “You’re lucky that Uraraka never abandons her friends.” Shigaraki opened his mouth to argue - as all drunk people did about the same things over and over again - Midoriya continued over him, “She even stuck up for Kacchan and Kirishima when her more...passionate fans started trash-talking them online when their relationship came out. That couldn’t have been easy for her, but she did it.”

“Her fans won’t be so nice about me.”

“Maybe not,” Midoriya admitted, “but she’ll cross that bridge when she gets there. What is most important to her is that she does her job and those that she cares about are okay. Everything else…” He shrugged. “It’s just a bonus.”

Uravity wasn’t the highest-rated hero out there, but she was beloved by many and absolutely adored by her fans. After what she had done in China with that bridge, her name was being splashed around everywhere online - hero message boards, news sites, you name it. She needed that sort of coverage. Their ranks weren’t generally affected by trashy magazines and those rumor-filled websites, but her image had taken a hit after her breakup with Kacchan and later when he “moved on” first.

How would her fanbase and the general public react to the knowledge that she was hanging around a former villain and his kid? How would his? If it became controversial enough, it could potentially knock him from his number one position. Shouto’s had wavered briefly after Touya’s release, but he was back in the number two slot.

It wouldn’t have compared to what would’ve happened to Endeavor had Touya gone through with the trial instead of taking that quiet plea deal. He may have lost his number one position, but it would’ve been much worse had Touya gone through with smearing his father’s name in the mud. Some details surrounding the League’s trials didn’t come out until after. A hero’s rank could be a fickle thing, but it wasn’t everything to some heroes like it was others. Midoriya’s position wasn’t as solid yet as All Might’s had been. Being around Shigaraki had the potential to hurt his image too.

He didn’t care. Being a hero wasn’t about his image. He could still do the same work as the number one even if that wasn’t his rank.

“You’re so fuckin’ annoyin’,” Shigaraki muttered as he staggered to his bedroom.

“I know,” Midoriya laughed as he turned to the door. He halted. “Wait. I need to text Touya.”

“Why would you wanna text that bastard?”

“To let him know you’re home safe and haven’t killed me.”

Shigaraki made a face. “Like he cares.” He pulled his phone out anyway, and Midoriya held out a hand, but simply tossed it into his bedroom. “Fuck. It’s dead. How long has it been like that? What if Fuyumi called? Is your phone charged?”

Midoriya nodded and pulled his cell out of his jacket, but was surprised when Shigaraki snapped his fingers, demanding he hand it over. Not up to fighting with him anymore, he gave him his phone and watched as he struggled through sending a text. It ended up being a few ones because the response he got back made him scrunch up his nose. Touya must’ve said something that irritated him.

When he was finally finished, Shigaraki tossed the phone back at him. “I’m goin’ to bed.”

“You’re welcome too,” Midoriya responded, barely suppressing a grin.

Shigaraki glowered and ducked into his room. “Lock the door on your way out.”

“Got it.” Midoriya hadn’t expected any sort of thanks. To be honest, he got a lot more than he’d expected with Shigaraki upon agreeing to pick him up. He hadn’t thought Shigaraki would talk to him, much less open up, but he’d definitely spilled a lot more than he usually would thanks to the alcohol. Hangover aside, if he remembered their conversation tonight, he was definitely going to regret it. The headache would just make things worse.

As he traipsed down the stairs, Midoriya checked his phone. It wasn’t being nosy if the conversation was on his cell. He was surprised Shigaraki hadn’t deleted the texts, although he most likely forgot due to his exhaustion.

At home u basterd fuck u for gettin me this drunk

This must be Midoriya’s phone. Did you kill him?

No i didnt but im gonna kill u tomrrow wtf did u give me

A painful dose of reality. See you in the morning!

Fcuk off

Midoriya chuckled, but before he could put his phone away as he stepped outside, another text from Touya appeared on his screen: Did he give you a lot of trouble? Any crying?

Nah he was fine. Just moody and confused. He’s not used to letting people care about him - or at least he doesn’t know if he deserves it.

How sad.
He’s gonna be mad as hell at both of us come morning.

That’s the usual state regarding me anyway. I’ll be fine.

Shaking his head, Midoriya returned his phone to his pocket and got into his car. Depending on how Shigaraki felt in the morning, he was likely to get a slew of angry texts demanding he keep his mouth shut about their conversation or total radio silence. Even if the former was less pleasant, he would prefer it. At least that option would mean a line of communication was open between them. Midoriya wanted to help, but it had to be on Shigaraki’s terms. He could do that. It was what Uraraka had done, after all, and look where that got her.

Midoriya scratched his chin. Seriously, where had it got her?

Notes:

I hope ya'll know what Touya was implying when he made a joke about Shigaraki perhaps wanting to be around Uraraka while he was drunk. lmao What a friend. He's so brutal.

Chapter 21: It's not a date if it's separate checks

Notes:

This chapter marks me finally catching up to what I've pre-written. Granted, I didn't quit writing in November, but all my other projects got the best of me. Luckily, I am still insanely inspired and have a shit ton of scenes in mind. Catch me writing two chapters next week for this, I swear. After a rough few chapters, we've hit a good, fluffy spot, if the title of the chapter didn't clue you in.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Shigaraki wasn’t sure what woke him: the furious pounding in his head or his phone buzzing to alert him to a text message. Either way, he wasn’t happy about it and rolled onto his stomach to stuff the pillow over his head to block everything out. After unsuccessfully trying to fall back asleep thanks to his stomach, he groaned and pulled his head out from the pillow. Thankfully his bedroom didn’t have a window so it was dark, but then he made the dumbass mistake of checking his phone and being blinded by the screen.

After rubbing his bleary eyes and letting them adjust, Shigaraki clicked to open up the text from Fuyumi. It was a picture of Yukiko warily eyeing a jar of fruit baby food with the message, Good morning, Dad! underneath. Obviously, Yukiko hadn’t typed it out herself, but the picture made him snort even if the idea of eating made his stomach angry at him for lying on it. He’d started her on actual baby food a week ago with mixed results. Sometimes she loved it. Sometimes she preferred to spit it out on her shirt.

All in all, she had proven to be unpredictable and stubborn, just like him. It was definitely karma.

Squinting his eyes, Shigaraki checked the time - quarter after nine - and managed to text back, Mind if I sleep a little longer?

Fuyumi responded quickly: Be my guest! Touya just got back in so he can help out.

Shigaraki dropped his phone on the bed. Like that bastard would help out with Yukiko. He had stuck with his decision to find somewhere to stay the night. Shigaraki was curious about where he might’ve gone, considering Touya didn’t have that many options, but his head hurt too much to think about it. He knew better than to move around more than necessary, lest his stomach roll as well. He didn’t want to push his luck. Instead, he closed his eyes and was out again within minutes.

When he woke up two hours later, Shigaraki felt much better. His mouth was dry, but his headache was mostly gone and his stomach wasn’t too upset. He dragged himself out of bed to take a hot shower to wash of the grime and fog from last night. It was akin to the first shower he’d taken after getting Yukiko. He took his time getting ready. By the time he was finished, he didn’t look like he’d been piss drunk last night - only like he’d stayed up too late. Nothing could get rid of the bags under his eyes or the exhaustion in his body, but they would eventually go away. His stomach did a minor flip, but it was nothing major.

After sending Fuyumi a quick text that he was on his way, he slid on his shoes, threw on a jacket, and walked out the door. He waited to put his gloves on until he was outside. The weather now actually called for them, so he didn’t stand out. They didn’t feel like restraints. His eyes wandered over to the minivan parked innocently on the curb, and he turned to head to the nearest train stop. One of these days he was going to have to figure out what the hell to do with that thing, but not today. Who could teach him how to drive and deal with him? He wasn’t about to take a class.

Upon reaching Fuyumi’s and Touya’s, Shigaraki knocked on the door and called out, “It’s me!” After some shuffling and muffled voices that sounded like arguing, the door whipped open to reveal a tired-looking Touya wearing the same clothes from last night. Shigaraki wrinkled his nose. “Have you even showered yet?”

“Yeah, and then I put my dirty clothes back on,” Touya shot back. “C’mon, your princess awaits you.”

“I told you not to call her that,” Shigaraki grumbled as he stepped inside.

Touya shut the door. “You prefer wiggle worm and roly-poly?”

“I prefer her name, but you’re a jackass so-” Shigaraki cut himself when he found Fuyumi attempting to feed Yukiko a jar of mushed-up peas. Honestly, he didn’t blame Yukiko for being so resistant. The fruit wasn’t so bad, but some of the vegetables were atrocious. He’d made the dumbass mistake of trying them out of curiosity to find out if her hatred of them was warranted.

It was.

“She really isn’t a fan of vegetables,” Fuyumi sighed in defeat.

“I wouldn’t be either if they looked like green shit,” Shigaraki pointed out as he picked Yukiko up from the floor. His body protested against the heavy lifting, but he ignored it. He’d drank last night, not lifted weights. Why was it acting like an over-cooked noodle?

Fuyumi rolled her eyes and set the spoon and baby food aside. “Maybe you can try later. Touya-”

“-was not interested in navigating that child’s temperament at all,” Touya cut in, leaning in the threshold of the kitchen and folding his arms across your chest. “I thought she was mild-mannered, but no, she can snap just like you.”

“She’s a baby,” Shigaraki snapped.

“And what’s your excuse?”

“Boys, please.” Fuyumi stood and went around the couch to retrieve the backpack. “She woke up a few times, but honestly, she was great. She might do better if she’s not in the same room as you.” How was that supposed to help him? He only had one bedroom, and there wasn’t enough room in the living room for the fancy crib Sako got her. He was supposed to start sleep training her, but he had nowhere to put her but his room. “I know, I know. Your, um, friend got you a crib, but your space doesn’t exactly allow that. Maybe a pack ‘n play might work? It’s just a thought.”

Swallowing down any retorts he might’ve had, Shigaraki muttered, “Thanks.”

Fuyumi beamed. “Of course!”

While Shigaraki put Yukiko in her winter coat, hat, and boots, Touya piped up, “Oh, how was your ride last night?” Really? He was going to ask that? When Shigaraki turned to glare at him, he only chuckled and held up his hands, not in the least bit apologetic. “Sorry I asked.”

“Touya,” Fuyumi sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “what did you do?”

“Nothing!” Touya insisted in a tone so innocent that it was obviously guilty. Fuyumi swatted at him, not believing him for a second, but he blocked it with his forearm. “I was only helping him out. After all, he needed to get home.”

Shigaraki ignored their bickering as he placed Yukiko in the already unfolded stroller and then tucked a blanket around her. It wasn’t that cold outside, but he wasn’t sure how well babies retained body heat, so it was better to be safe than sorry. She was a little heater in bed, but since she couldn’t tell him if she was cold, he always went overboard. The only thing that could be seen was her face. He waved a hand at them, letting them know he was off, with only Fuyumi saying goodbye in return, and then walked out.

If he could sleep the rest of the day, he would, but Yukiko’s wide eyes suggested she was very much awake. Needing a distraction since she was awake as hell, Shigaraki got out his phone and pulled up Uraraka’s contact. No doubt she was curious about how his first night without Yukiko had gone. While some of the details were fuzzy, unfortunately, he remembered everything else. He couldn’t recall the entirety of the two conversations he’d had, but he knew enough to know that he was an absolute dumbass.

Embarrassing as his behavior was, it should’ve made him want to avoid Uraraka for the rest of his life, but then it would directly conflict with what Touya and Midoriya told him. Not that he was taking their advice or anything, but they hadn’t been completely wrong. He...didn’t mind Uraraka. Okay, it was a little more than that. She at least didn’t make him want to bang his head against a wall like Midoriya or throttle someone like Touya.

She confused him. Maybe that was the problem. He didn’t know how he was supposed to - or want to - feel about her. People had distinct places in his life - it made it easier to deal with them - but she was just sort of floating in it.

After months of carrying her and with her now able to sit up on her own, Shigaraki could easily carry her, walk, and text at the same time, but for some reason, texting while pushing a stroller was still awkward. It made him wonder how he had barely been able to hold her with two hands in the beginning. How incompetent had he been? Why had those pro heroes and Naomasa been okay with letting him walk away with a baby when he obviously hadn’t known what he was doing? No wonder Uraraka jumped up to help. She must have been afraid he would drop Yukiko any second.

Remind me to never let Touya serve me alcohol again.

Uraraka responded back a few minutes later: lol that bad huh?

I feel better than I did this morning. I think what little pride I had left is gone.

Did you get sick at the bar?

Worse. I got too drunk and Touya called fucking Midoriya to pick me up.

Within less than a minute, his phone buzzed in his hand alerting him to a call. It was Uraraka. Texting must not have been able to cut it after he dropped that bomb on her. He could understand why. It was fucking ridiculous. He never should’ve let himself get put in a situation where he had to resort to relying on the Number One Hero.

The moment Shigaraki answered the call, Uraraka sputtered out laughing, “He did what ? He called Deku ?”

“Yeah, he did. The asshole. Of course he did it with the best intentions. Such a good friend.”

“Why didn’t he call me?”

Shigaraki sighed. “He thought I might...embarrass myself or something.”

“Embarrass yourself? With me?” Uraraka snickered. He kind of wanted to die a little, and she wasn’t even in front of him. No one had warned him normal life was filled with so much petty, humiliating bullshit. This should’ve been nothing to him, but he knew he would’ve embarrassed himself with her or, even worse, messed things up. Whatever “things” were. “I’m pretty sure you calling me after like three days of no sleep or showering after cutting Yukiko’s finger was way more embarrassing.”

“There’s a chance he wasn’t wrong. He thought I’d either say something or act like a total asshole that would make you…” Hate him? Shouldn’t she already do that for trying to kill her friends and her? No, he couldn’t go down that road again. It didn’t lead anywhere. Whether she hated him or not was up to her. However she felt about him was up to her. “Not want to be around me anymore, I guess. I don’t know. I was beyond fucked last night. I can’t remember the last time I ever drank like that - if I ever have.”

“Did you at least get whatever has been bothering you off your chest? Blow off some steam?”

“Well, you can always ask your stalker about it since I blabbed to him,” Shigaraki said dryly.

Uraraka blew a raspberry. He bet this was so funny to her. All those years he spent hating Midoriya, targeting him, getting into insane fights that would’ve destroyed others - and Shigaraki drunkenly rambled to him over all the stupid, emotional bullshit going on in his life last night. It wasn’t just embarrassing. It was mortifying. Even worse, he had rambled to him about his insecurities surrounding her. Why the hell had he thought that was a good idea? Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? Had his brain just opted to disconnect?

“If I could delete last night from my memory, that would be great. As it stands, I’m stuck with remembering I’m capable of being a dumbass.” With his hands full, Shigaraki couldn’t pinch the bridge of his nose or press his temple to stop the oncoming headache. He needed more water and something to eat, but he had absolutely no desire to cook at home. “Did you wanna see Yukiko or anything today?”

“Need some more recovery time?”

“More like I need something to eat and at least one hand to eat with,” Shigaraki said, pausing at a crosswalk. He still had a few seconds to cross the street, but he didn’t trust any of the drivers to not rush forward like a jerk. “I think she can sit in a highchair, but I’m not sure how long she’ll last in one and she already ate so I can’t distract her with food.”

“Oh, taking me out for lunch?” Uraraka teased.

What ?” Well, he should probably offer her some sort of compensation for all the times she’d watched Yukiko for him, especially the last minute times. She was incredibly busy with her job. It was a hell of a lot more demanding than his, even if she didn’t hold bridges up all the time. He’d brought extra food home, but they’d never gone out in public to get food. “I mean, I probably owe you at least a meal-”

“I was kidding!” Uraraka cut in, laughing all over again. It wasn’t that funny. “I’m not going to take advantage of a single dad . What kind of person do you think I am?”

He would’ve taken advantage of a free meal if he could. All Might would probably jump at the chance to see Yukiko again and check on him. Thankfully, he wasn’t that desperate. After next months bills, if Yukiko’s health insurance didn’t pay him back when it kicked in, he might be forced to once again dip into the account All Might set up for him. He really shouldn’t eat out, but fuck it, he was too tired to deal with anything else. It wouldn’t kill him.

“I don’t care where we go,” Shigaraki said. “I’m just hoping food will get rid of the last bit of this hangover.”

“Did you just pick up Yukiko from Fuyumi and Touya’s?”

“Yeah.” Shigaraki had to stop to correct the stroller since he didn’t walk right into a pole. Why was it so difficult to steer this damn thing? It was easier to drive a car in a video game.

Uraraka hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I could always meet you somewhere close by? I needed an excuse to get out of my pajamas. I’m not used to being off work this much.”

“You deserve a break after everything you did,” Shigaraki replied without thinking.

The moment Uraraka fell silent on the other end, Shigaraki knew he’d slipped up. So far, he had shown little to no interest in her hero work. It was something he actively avoided, partly because it just made things easier that way. He knew she was a pro-hero - he’d seen her in action when she was training to become one - and she briefly spoke about it, but besides a dry comment here and there, he didn’t talk about it. He never brought up the specifics. He wasn’t supposed to care about it at all. That was a side of her life that he wasn’t a part of.

“I guess I do,” Uraraka finally said in a strange, distant tone.

Shigaraki closed his eyes and swore under his breath. “Yukiko will be happy to see you. She’s probably tired of my grumpy ass. It’s no wonder she was so good for Fuyumi - the little monster.”

“Not as happy as I will be to see her,” Uraraka quipped. “Just text me wherever you wanna eat and I’ll GPS it. I’ve still gotta get ready real quick. Hope you don’t mind me looking like I just rolled out of bed.”

“You’ll look fine.” Shigaraki struggled to resist the urge to slap his hand over his face. He was really out of it. Maybe being around her right now was a bad idea. She kind of sounded like she might be out of it too, but he didn’t know if that would be a good or bad thing or if it mattered at all. As long as they could switch off holding a wiggly baby so they could eat, they should be fine.

Uraraka snorted and said, “Okay, thanks,” before hanging up. Damn, either she was used to him or he’d accidentally rubbed off on her. She normally always said goodbye even if he didn’t. Had she adapted when talking to him?

Shaking his head at himself, he continued walking. Yukiko babbled happily in her stroller, but he’d feel better if they were inside somewhere warm. It wasn’t ridiculously cold out, but not a lot of people were walking around, and he felt conscious of the fact that he had a baby with him. He didn’t think anyone was giving him strange looks, but no doubt people would not approve of him taking a small child on a walk in this weather. He only knew of two places in the area where he’d gone to eat with Touya and Fuyumi, so he chose the closest one and texted Uraraka the name before jamming his phone into his pocket.

It would probably take her around thirty minutes to get here, but he could wait in the lobby or something. As long as he was out of the elements, he’d feel better. He could walk in the cold for hours and not even blink - he’d had the habit of going on long ass walks to clear his mind even when he was a teen - but Yukiko either really liked her stroller or she hated it. Having to carry a baby while pushing an empty stroller was so damn stupid and yet he’d done it a handful of times already. It had to be less comfortable, but she didn’t care.

He had to have a clingy baby. He couldn’t tell if it was irony or karma or maybe a strange mixture of both.

The wait for Uraraka wasn’t that bad, but Shigaraki was starving by the time she stepped into the restaurant, and Yukiko was decidedly not a fan of the stroller any longer. He almost didn’t recognize her since she was wearing a fluffy hat that covered most of her head and sunglasses large enough that they almost hid the recognizable pink spots on her cheeks. The A-line coat was nice, but everything doubled as both a source of warmth and way to hide. Each piece she took off showed a little more of herself, but it was her smile upon seeing Yukiko that gave her away.

“Hey there!” Uraraka gushed excitedly, rushing over to them. Yukiko popped up in the stroller, lifting her arms eagerly in order to get picked up. She really had started to become more aware of her surroundings in the past month, and it would only get stronger in time. Since he’d unbuckled her, Uraraka was able to easily scoop her out of the stroller and hold her close, squishing cheeks with her. “I missed you so much! Did you get bigger on me?”

As Uraraka spoke, Yukiko laughed in delight. She’d started doing that more, typically when Shigaraki did something stupid. He didn’t know how a baby could laugh at him, but he knew she was doing it. She’d practically screamed in laughter when he was trying to fix her bottle and the lid popped off and spewed formula all over his front. His child was as cruel as Touya sometimes. Go figure.

Uraraka pulled back slightly to set Yukiko on her hip and turned to face him. It occurred to Shigaraki that this would be the time most people would hug in greeting, especially when they hadn’t seen each other in a while, but he didn’t move and neither did she. He liked his space and wasn’t a physically affectionate person with anyone aside from his daughter so she would know better than to try it with him. She respected his space. She was polite like that.

She could still be polite and leave you as soon as you get back.

Midoriya’s words would come back to haunt him. A few things were blurry, especially near the end of that night, but he could remember a few things clearly as if they’d been burned into his head. She didn’t have to be here. She could spend time with Yukiko and not him. She could’ve asked to watch her or take her to the park or anything that didn’t involve him and he would’ve said yes.

Damnit, that made him sound so…pathetic.

“Long time, no see,” Uraraka joked at the same time as Shigaraki asked, “How’s not working?”

He refused to cringe. He would not make a face. This was fine.

Luckily for him, Uraraka was also polite enough not to comment on the mix-up. “It’s a little boring - and before you say anything, it’s not because I spend my time on the clock getting into fights. I’d prefer a quiet night over one filled with actions because that means people are safe.” She rolled her eyes. “But this quiet is different. I’m not used to just sitting around. I feel like I’m being useless.”

Shigaraki shook his head. “Most people would be happy not to work and lay around.”

“I mean, I’m fully capable of being lazy as hell,” Uraraka said, “but it gets old after three days.” She shrugged as they made their way to a table. “On the bright side, my apartment has never been this clean. On the other end, my Netflix account must be worried about me since it keeps asking me if I’m watching something.”

“You wanna come clean my place too?” Shigaraki asked dryly. “I’ll pay you.”

“I have my limits.”

“Some hero you are.”

Uraraka winked as she sat down. “You should call Wash then.”

“What does that hero even do?” Shigaraki asked. It was a mystery he hadn’t been able to figure out even when he was a villain who obsessively researched pro heroes and their activities. “What are his accomplishments? What’s his quirk? Does he just do commercials for cleaning supplies created by support factories?”

“It’s one of hero society’s greatest mysteries and best kept secrets,” Uraraka replied in a melodramatic tone, a mock-sage expression on her face. He rolled his eyes. All heroes were prone to fits of dramatics, but villains, he knew, were much worse. Dabi’s dramatic reveal that he was actually Touya Todoroki was just one of the many examples he could remember - and that didn’t include the shit he’d pulled.

Instead of placing Yukiko in the highchair, Uraraka let her bounce in her lap. One of Yukiko’s favorite things to do these days was stand and bounce around. It shouldn’t, but it scared the piss out of him every time she suddenly jumped and nearly went sideways on his lap. Uraraka held Yukiko by her hands while she stood on her thighs and bounced up and down, gabbing and giggling. It took a little maneuvering to keep her from slipping off, but Uraraka managed it while also looking over the menu.

“So besides last night, how have things been?” Uraraka asked.

“Boring as fuck,” Shigaraki groaned. “Things are different now with her, but it’s still…” He waved a hand in the air as he attempted to come up with the right word. “I feel like I’m going nowhere.”

Uraraka shrugged. “It comes with being in a routine.”

“No, it’s like I’m not doing anything,” Shigaraki said. “I’m stagnant - like I’m just waiting for Yukiko to hit the next stage in her life, I’ll deal with that, and then wait again.” He dropped the menu on the table. As hungry as he was, nothing looked good either. He didn’t know if it was because of what was on his mind or the lingering hangover. “I’m not doing shit. It’s frustrating. I didn’t mind it before, but now...”

“But now you feel like you should do something more,” Uraraka finished carefully. “For Yukiko.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Shigaraki muttered. “And maybe…” He could be honest - he could open - even without the help of alcohol. Either that or it was still in his blood after how much he’d drank last night. Or maybe, just maybe, it was simply easy to talk with her. She wouldn’t judge him and, if she did, he probably deserved it. “I’ve been given a second chance. I talked with Touya about it last night - shockingly, he can be smart when he’s not busy acting like an emotionless asshole - and I thought, well- I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have Yukiko. But I do. Coasting through life until the next thing is a waste of my freedom that I might not even deserve.”

“Wow. You’ve really been doing some introspective thinking.”

Shigaraki huffed. “If you’re gonna mock me-”

“I’m not!” Uraraka jumped in hastily. “I-”

She clamped her mouth shut the moment their waiter appeared at their table to take their order. Putting a pleasant smile on her face, she ordered her meal. Shigaraki picked something at random. At this point, as long as he got something on his stomach, he would be fine. He probably felt like this because he’d been stupid enough not to eat after last night. He hadn’t eaten enough before going out. It was a wonder he hadn’t thrown up, but at least he had one thing going for him. Then again, puking on Midoriya’s red sneakers might not have been so bad.

As soon as the waiter left, Uraraka continued in a softer voice, “I think it’s a good thing.”

“Coasting isn’t gonna cut it,” Shigaraki said, “and I hate half-assing shit. I did it a lot, but I was never content with it. Even at my worst, I was always...better when I was doing something.”

That something wasn’t always a good thing - most of the time, back then, it was directly at odds with what society would’ve considered good or acceptable - but he’d felt alive. Did he miss being a villain? No, he didn’t. What he missed was having some sort of direction - a meaning. Living simply to live wasn’t it. Being free was pointless when his daily routine didn’t change much from when he was behind bars. He’d still worked when he was imprisoned. The only difference was that he got paid a lot less for his manual labor and he owed more money in return. He was even back on a schedule now that he had Yukiko.

And that was what he kept going back to every time he hit a wall in his mind. Living was different from being alive. He had to do more - he needed to do more - or eventually, he would start to crack. His mind had always been active and his lapse into a boring, habitual life wouldn’t change that. He would grow too restless. He needed to move forward. He needed to do something.

That meaning he was yearning for was right in front of him. He could live for Yukiko. It wasn’t the perfect solution, but it was the easiest and quickest one to latch onto. He needed to be a better father - one that he wanted growing up that All for One could and would never fulfill. He needed to be better fucking period. Even if he didn’t give a shit about himself, this wasn’t the life he wanted for her. He didn’t want her to grow up in some shitty one bedroom apartment or with a man who was going absolutely nowhere. How could that inspire her? Help her grow? All for One might have been a manipulative bastard, but he hadn’t...taught him to do nothing with his life.

“I was thinking,” Shigaraki began slowly, “about asking for a raise.”

“Oh?”

“I open the store five days a week and stay there for most of the day. I know everything about the place and more than any of the other employees - more than my own boss.” And damn if it didn’t feel weird to say that word. It might have been years since the League had been disbanded, but he’d kind of gotten used to being his own boss. All for One was his Sensei, not his employer. He’d been at the top of the food chain and now he was fighting to make more than minimum wage. Fuck, it was humiliating. “I do everything a manager does. I work more hours than that idiot does. I should get that pay, plus the benefits.”

“You should,” Uraraka insisted. “I totally agree.”

“The only issue is that my resume doesn’t exactly back up the sentiment.” Shigaraki leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “You think I can put down my leadership experience under skills? ‘Successfully ran a villain turned vigilante organization for multiple years on my own: excelled in delegating responsibilities to subordinates without micromanaging, able to balance strong personalities to create a balanced team, planned out strategic moves to expand the business, hands-on involvement with the hiring and firing process, managed the organization's finances.’”

Uraraka blew a raspberry. “Well, when you put it like that…”

“Sounds almost bland, doesn’t it?” Shigaraki snorted. “There’s a reason why I’m able to live on my own while Touya is with his sister. He can’t manage his money for shit. He was never taught.”

“You’re so responsible,” Uraraka said.

Shigaraki pointed a finger at her. “Hey, it’s hard work running a criminal enterprise. It wasn’t always blowing shit up, attacking people, and robbing other groups in order to fund our endeavors.”

“That’s what it seemed like on our end.”

“I had to work with Touya and you know how difficult he is to manage,” Shigaraki pointed out. “On top of that, I had Toga who was unpredictable at best, Jin who was two people on a good day, and Sako who… Shit, I still don’t know what Sako was doing there, and I doubt I ever will. Things were always a mess, but I managed.”

“A criminal CEO,” Uraraka hummed as Yukiko continued to bounce enthusiastically in her lap.

“Being the boss is overrated,” Shigaraki replied honestly. He didn’t like being an underling, but he didn’t want that kind of responsibility again. Getting a manager position at a game store was nowhere near that level. “At least here I can get health insurance. You don’t get that as a villain unless you’re a proper CEO of a semi-legitimate company.”

Uraraka finally reached over to place Yukiko in her high chair. “I mean, capitalism is the true enemy of the people.”

“Why else are pieces of paper that babies shit in so expensive?”

Sitting back down, Uraraka actually giggled. “You’re such a visionary. It’s a shame you can’t run for office.”

Shigaraki scoffed. “I got out of villainy and you would propose I jump back in? How low do you think of me?”

“Eh.” Uraraka wavered a hand in the air. “Not that low.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Despite the sarcasm, Shigaraki didn’t feel bad. Even if he felt low as shit or stuck in that wavering middle ground she joked about, he knew that wasn’t the end. He could get better - he would get better - and for the first time in a while, he felt ready to do so. A promotion at a game store was nothing compared to what he’d gone through, but he’d fight for it anyway. If there was one thing he knew how to do, it was how to fight for something he wanted. He didn’t give up, so why the hell was he acting like a dog going belly-up?

It was stupid, and Shigaraki wasn’t fucking stupid.

Considering how awkward things had been yesterday when he’d tried ignoring her, the rest of lunch continued to flow almost effortlessly. Uraraka made it easy if he let her. Yukiko ate a jar of baby food without complaint (only after Uraraka tried), and the food was good. There were natural pauses in the conversation and he had to leave for a moment to change Yukiko who decided lunch was the appropriate time to have a goddamn blow out, but Uraraka was still there when he came back, scrolling through her Twitter feed on her phone. Oh, yeah, heroes were all about social media. Plus, as Midoriya had said, her name was in the news more than ever right now - and not because of some stupid break up this time.

Which...reminded him of Bakugou. He still hadn’t told her that her lovely ex-boyfriend had visited him at work. Since she hadn’t said anything to him about it, he was positive Bakugou hadn’t told her either. Keeping it from her seemed like a bad idea, but telling her would only cause drama, which she didn’t need. Burning a bridge was sometimes less painful than trying to keep the bridge partially open. As far as he knew, she was no longer in contact with him. Not that Shigaraki would’ve cared. It was her life. Bakugou might try to police who she could be around, but he wouldn’t.

It was just that… Okay, not telling her did make him somewhat uncomfortable. Lying and being evasive wasn’t exactly new to him, but she could get pissed if she found out later on that he’d kept it from her. Again, not that he cared about her being mad at him, but he didn’t want that to indirectly affect Yukiko either. He didn’t think it would since Uraraka obviously cared about her, but…

This was nice - just going out, having lunch, shooting shit and not having to worry about anything. It wasn’t bad. It felt like the step forward his therapist had been pushing him to take. He might’ve done things with his coworkers here and there, but he really only did stuff like this with Touya. His therapist wanted him to go out more - build more connections, strengthen his ties to society, and whatever other babble he concocted. It was just weird. Then again, integrating himself in a society he’d once felt rejected by couldn’t be anything but weird. He probably could’ve picked someone he didn’t have such a complex history with, but Uraraka just sort of fit in a place where he lacked.

“I wish it wasn’t so cold outside,” Uraraka sighed as the waiter took their empty plates away. He felt infinitely better after eating. What the hell had he been thinking not doing that earlier? “The park would be nice right now.”

“If you want to spend more time with Yukiko, you could just come over.”

“Inviting me over now too? Wow, you must really be bored.”

“Well, you’ve been gone for like three weeks.”

Uraraka put her elbow on the table and propped her chin on her hand. “Miss me, huh?”

“That smartass mouth?” Shigaraki scoffed. “Never. I missed having a babysitter. Do you know how much fun it is to bring a baby to check in with your parole officer?”

“Can’t say that I do.”

“It’s a blast.”

Shigaraki did not want to do that again. Yukiko hadn’t been bad at first, but she’d gotten antsy and started crying halfway through. He spent the rest of the time convinced his parole officer would find him at fault of being a terrible parent and Yukiko would get taken from him somehow. She hadn’t done anything like that, reassuring him it was normal for babies to cry and that she was probably just tired, but it still freaked him out. The idea that anyone might take her from him for any reason was still a touchy subject after all these months.

They paid for the bill with only a minimal mix-up - they forgot to tell the waiter that it was separate checks - so Uraraka snatched it from him and paid before he could attempt it. (“I make more money than you,” was enough to shut him up, but he still didn’t like it. Her telling him to pay her back could only soothe his ego so much.) Since she didn’t have any plans until later that night, she figured there wasn’t any harm in coming over. He mentally tried to remember if his place was clean or not and then remembered she’d seen worse. Still, he had decided to be better and didn’t want her to come back to his place to see it looking like shit. It wasn’t a good start.

Uraraka put Yukiko in the stroller and then got to work on bundling her up. Shigaraki didn’t double check her work as he put his coat and gloves back on. Maybe he fixed Yukiko’s hat, but it had a tendency to ride up when she wiggled around the stroller. With her winter gear and sunglasses back on, Uraraka didn’t even look like herself. She could pass for anyone on the street. Then again, so could he. That was the nice thing about winter. It was easy to hide. As far as anyone on the street was concerned, they were two ordinary citizens, not a pro-hero and a former criminal mastermind.

Touya would say “mastermind” was stretching it. Considering Shigaraki was now planning on putting up the case for why he should be promoted to a management position at a video game store, he was probably right. It was a bad sign when he started agreeing with Touya - and he had after last night. The fact that Touya had made sense was the reason Shigaraki found himself here in the first place. He was acting like a total idiot and he didn’t know why, but he couldn’t stand it.

Now he had to prove Touya wrong. Well, not wrong so much as show that he wasn’t the worthless piece of shit that he’d felt like last night. Humiliating himself in front of him was bad enough, but Touya had seen Shigaraki at both his best and worst. Talking so openly with Midoriya was downright excruciating. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn’t doing bad with Yukiko, all things considered, but he wasn’t doing good enough.

However, something else had been bothering him since he’d got all bent out of shape. Now that it was out in the open, it was either put up or shut up.

The only issue was that he didn’t know what the “put up” part entailed. If he had to guess, admitting that he liked being around Uraraka was the first step. Wherever that led, he was uncertain, but that was kind of the point, wasn’t it? He didn’t know. He couldn’t plan for everything. He could make steps to change things, but when it came to other people, short of manipulating them, he couldn’t control what they were doing. He could only control himself and it was high time he started doing that instead of nothing. Yukiko deserved that.

Notes:

Fun fact: Touya did try to feed Yukiko first before Fuyumi stepped in. He even used the plane trick. She just whacked the spoon and splattered the food in his face.

Chapter 22: Nothing ruins a not-date quite like...

Notes:

I was so sleepy when I wrote the end of this chapter, but Misty begged me to finish it because she was laughing so much, so I guess I did my job. I've had this scene planned for quite a while.

Also, in unrelated news, members on my server came up with incredible AU that we decided to turn into an RP server so we could all enjoy the wild ride. Here's the summary and info about the three way BNHA Universe Swap Role Play server in case you're interested in joining something super creative. People that read this fic might especially be into it. ;)

Chapter Text

Shigaraki wasn’t sure whether or not he was lucky that Yukiko started to fall asleep for her afternoon nap right around the time they got back to the apartment. The entire reason Uraraka was coming over was so she could spend time with her and now she was passing out for an hour or two. She’d gotten better about sleeping during the day, even if she still fought it at night. Her naps were sporadic so he was never sure when they were going to happen, but as fate would have it, her nap came right when she was supposed to be awake.

Uraraka would’ve put her down for a nap, but her sleep nest thing was in his bedroom. Not that it was unseemly for her to go in there, but she let him do it without complaint. Or maybe it would be weird. It was probably weird. Either that or he was the one being weird about it for no reason. Touya would have something smart to say, but he was not going to think about that bastard now. He and Uraraka had been around each other while Yukiko was asleep, but she was always in the room with them.

As he stared down at a happily passed out Yukiko, it occurred to him that they had never spent time together without her. This was the first time.

Discounting any times when he was a villain. They had been alone in that building.

“She seems like she’s sleeping better,” Uraraka said when he stepped out of the bedroom.

“During the day at least.” He left the door open just a crack. The walls were thin enough that he would hear her cry when she woke up even if he did shut it completely, but his paranoia wouldn’t let him. He really needed to work on that. His therapist said it would lessen over time, but he was still struggling months later. It probably had something to do with his past.

An awkward silence fell over them. Maybe it wasn’t awkward - maybe he was just making it up in his head because he wasn’t used to the idea that someone might want to spend time with him - but maybe it was, and Midoriya was the one in the wrong. He might’ve been the Number One Hero, but he couldn’t be right all the time. Uraraka was one of his closest friends though. Surely he’d know her.

“Did you want me to leave?” Uraraka asked, snapping him out of his thoughts. She didn’t sound even a hint offended or uncomfortable. “Since she’s asleep - so you can get some rest too. You’ll probably feel a lot better after.”

“No, I don’t want to take a nap,” Shigaraki said. She gave him an expectant look, waiting for him to continue. He hadn’t exactly answered her question. This was his place. It was up to him. She looked at him like she wouldn’t care either way, standing with her hands clasped behind her back, completely at ease. He got the feeling it came with becoming a hero. “You can stay if you want. Who knows how long she’ll nap. It could be ten minutes; it could be an hour.”

Uraraka shrugged. “Okay.”

And that was that. He wasn’t sure how they were supposed to fill the time until Yukiko woke up, but then again, it wasn’t like Uraraka was so completely different from everyone else. It turned out she’d read a few of the same books he had on his shelf. It had surprised her to find that he actually read a lot. There wasn’t much else he could do with a baby on his chest or in his arms half the time, but he’d always been like that. All for One had liked him to be well-read and it was boring being around a bunch of adults all the time. He never got out of the habit, although he probably should venture further away from high fantasy books.

Even though he’d spent lunch talking with her, it wasn’t nearly as awkward as he might’ve imagined. He figured Yukiko would be the only thing tying them together, that they would only talk about her, but now that she was out of the room, it turned out there were other things too. They read similar books (although she liked hers with more romance, which, ugh, no thank you) and watched a lot of the same shows and movies. He’d almost forgotten that she liked video games until he remembered that she’d called him out on his original names for Yukiko.

She still hadn’t caught on to that little deception at least.

“Oh my god!” Uraraka suddenly exclaimed, diving down onto the floor in front of his entertainment center. “You have the new Mortal Kombat game? I thought it wasn’t out until next week!” She turned around to peer at him, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Did you get this by illegal means, Shigaraki?”

“What? No!” Shigaraki almost yelled, stopping himself at the last second. If he woke Yukiko up now, he’d throw himself out of the apartment. Instead of questioning him further, Uraraka put a hand over her mouth to stifle snickers and hide the smirk on her face. She was teasing him again. He narrowed his eyes. How cold. “I can sometimes get new games ahead of the release thanks to work.”

“That’s a cool perk.”

“I guess it’s got something over villainy,” Shigaraki said dryly as he dropped onto the couch. “There weren’t any cool perks in that. The pay wasn’t that much better either.” Uraraka shook her head at him and moved to stand. “Did you want to play it? I actually haven’t had the time yet so you might be able to last a minute or two before losing.”

Uraraka scoffed. “Excuse me? But I kick everyone’s ass at this game.” She picked up the case and took the CD out, turning on the console and putting it in. When she stood up, she pointed an accusing finger at him. “I don’t want to hear you whining when I beat you silly.”

“That sounded awfully threatening, Uravity.”

“It’s not a threat,” Uraraka insisted. She tossed him a controller, which he caught with ease. “It’s a warning.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Aren’t those the same thing?”

“A warning is much more polite, thank you very much.” Uraraka dropped down onto the couch next to him, the action so aggressive that it nearly made him crash into her. He would have if he hadn’t grabbed the arm of the couch at the last second. She didn’t even seem to notice him glaring at her as she pulled her legs up to sit cross-legged. Honestly, what a ridiculous girl. And he’d thought Toga was bad. Her murdering people was understandable at the time at least. He felt consistently thrown by Uraraka on the other hand.

Even though he’d managed to update the game on his console, he hadn’t actually played it, but the start up of every game was the same, especially one that had been a franchise as long as Mortal Kombat. There were some games that simply never died and this was one of them. alf the characters had died and been resurrected multiple times since its conception. As someone who was bored enough to read extensively about video game lore, he knew more of the history than most people, which made this new game utterly ridiculous. If the people who created the first game could see it now, they wouldn’t even know what to say.

That was par for course for everything, he supposed. If his twenty-year-old self could see what he was doing right now, he would lose his shit. He’d think he was being brainwashed or possessed or was someone else entirely. In a way, he was someone else, but at the same time not. He’d still committed all those atrocities; he was simply trying to be… better now. His old self wouldn’t look at it that way. Honestly, he’d probably try to kill him.

Shit, he knew people in their twenties were hot messes, but he’d been particularly shitty at twenty.

As he suspected, Uraraka picked the main female character for her first character in their tag team fight. She also picked the most hated female character for her second. When he gave her a questioning look, she shrugged. “I like how unapologetic she is. She’s a badass, knows it, and doesn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks of her.”

“Reminds me of someone I know,” Shigaraki said as he picked his characters.

“Todoroki’s sister?”

A bark of laughter slipped from him. “Okay, that’s a good point.”

He quickly set up the rest of their game, and then they waited. Uraraka squirmed on the couch to get into a more comfortable position, an intense expression on her face as she stared down the screen. Shigaraki was more relaxed on his side. He didn’t tense up like most people did, even when he was playing incredibly difficult scenes. He didn’t like the way his hands cramped up if he played too aggressively. Plus, he needed to make sure he didn’t grip down on the controller with all five fingers. Uraraka held her pinky fingers up the same way as him. It made playing a little more difficult, but he hated wearing gloves when he held a controller.

“Ready to lose?” Shigaraki asked with only a few seconds to spare.

“Bite me.”

“Do not say stuff like that when Touya is around,” Shigaraki warned her. “He’ll take it the wrong way.”

Uraraka blinked at him in shock. “Wha-?” And her character got fucked up in a combo attack right off the bat. “Hey! That’s cheating! I call bullshit.”

“You’ve gotta do whatever it takes to win,” Shigaraki said as he dodged her counterattacks.

“I’ll show you whatever it takes to win.”

To be honest, despite her threats, he hadn’t really thought she’d be any good at the game. Not that he believed girls weren’t good at video games. It just didn’t seem to be her type of game. He should’ve known better. He didn’t even know why he was surprised by her anymore. He won the first two games but just barely. Each time, it would’ve only taken a hit or two for her to take him down and win. She was relentless and picked up on using combos and special moves after trying them out a few times. He lost the third game, which meant he had to really put in the effort for the fourth one, even leaning forward like her.

Even more surprising was just how… viciously she got into the game.

Needless to say, when he managed to kill her with a disgusting fatality move, the last thing he expected was for her to violently exclaim in a lowered voice, “Fucking hell! That’s such fucking bullshit! Oh my god. I can’t believe you. Such an asshole move! Ugh, we’re doing this again, and I’m going to fucking annihilate you.”

Shigaraki gawked at her. “Goddamn, what the hell? I was not expecting that reaction. I didn’t know you had that much of a mouth on you.”

“Better not say something like that when Touya is around,” Uraraka shot back.

“What in the…?” Shigaraki shook his head. “I unleashed a monster.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Uraraka mumbled as she set up the next game. “I’m just...really competitive. I think it’s a side effect of going to hero school. It was like you were in a competition all the time.”

“Sounds annoying,” Shigaraki drawled.

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “It didn’t help that we had villains interrupting our school schedule once a month. Try fitting in math and English lit homework in between fighting bad guys and nursing broken ribs.”

He couldn’t imagine, yet a part of him could. There had been downtime while parading as the leader of the League, times when there had been nothing to do but exist. When they were on the run after the Kamino Incident and Yakuza confrontation, he couldn’t spend it the way he had before. In a way, it made him realize how spoiled and sheltered he’d been. He didn’t have someone like Recovery Girl to help with his wounds. When Snipe shot him in the USJ, he had to heal up like everybody else.

“Video games were kind of a way for us to decompress and deal with the stress,” Uraraka explained as she chose her characters. She kept the hated female character but opted for one of the men this time. She didn’t stick with only the good guys at least, just as he knew it was stupid to only play the bad guys. Touya did that shit, as if choosing a heroic character made him uncomfortable. “We used to hold competitions, little tournaments, game nights, just to blow off steam. We could take our aggression out there and then go to bed.”

“You are better at this than I thought you were gonna be,” Shigaraki admitted.

“Yeah, well-” Uraraka pointed a thumb at herself and gave him a grin. “Not to brag or anything, but you’re looking at the reigning Tekken champ in my class. It was the one thing I was better at than Deku, Todoroki, Katsuki, and Momo.”

Shigaraki shook his head. “You’re better at a lot of things.”

“Oh, please.” Uraraka blew a raspberry. “I’m sure you’ve seen my rank by now if you saw the news.”

“Rank doesn’t have shit to do with being a hero and you know it,” Shigaraki snapped.

Instead of getting mad at him for his reaction, Uraraka sighed. “I know it doesn’t, especially after everything that happened. It’s just a paycheck in the end. I think Deku would go unranked if the status didn’t mean something to the public. He’d still be the number one even if someone else carried the title.”

“Todoroki’s second, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is, but I don’t think he cares either. It’s mostly out of spite, even if he won’t admit it.”

“He became the Number Two out of spite?” Shigaraki didn’t know why he was surprised. It sounded exactly like the kind of thing a Todoroki would do. They were all half spite. Just because the youngest one had gone on to become a hero didn’t make him any less petty. “Of course he did. Touya became a villain out of spite. They really are brothers.”

Shigaraki didn’t like that he knew any of this, but Uraraka was right. After seeing her bridge rescue on the news, he’d fallen into a hole and started researching things like he did before. He couldn’t get it out of his mind. Ranks didn’t mean shit, but he’d still been surprised by hers. It was lower than he expected. Maybe it was because she was considered a rescue hero whereas the top ten were always more offensive heroes. The public loved a good villain takedown.

“It doesn’t matter,” Shigaraki said. “Ranks, I mean. You’re a great hero.”

Uraraka gave him a weird smile. “I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not from you.”

“It’s a damn compliment. Take it.”

She held up a hand in surrender. “Okay, just checking. You’re not big on the whole hero thing, so I try not to bring it up, you know?”

“Yeah.” Shigaraki took a breath. “Yeah, I know - and I appreciate it because it’s weird enough as it is - but I can admit now that not all heroes are super at being shitty. Some of them are good. You are.”

“Thank you,” Uraraka said as she returned to look at the game. “I’m honored.”

Shigaraki hunkered his shoulders down and pressed the button to start the game's countdown. “You’re really gonna make me regret saying that, aren’t you?”

Well ,” Uraraka said dramatically, wearing the cheesiest grin on her face, “now that I know I’m your favorite hero-”

“Stop.”

“Did you want any merch? I can even sign it!”

“Don’t you dare-”

“Oh! I know! I think I saw a Uravity onesie online” - okay that would be pretty cool, but only because Yukiko would love it, even if she wasn’t exactly aware of what it was yet - “and you could have a matching t-shirt!”

“Uraraka-”

“My number one fan-”

“That’s it!”

Shigaraki dropped the controller and launched himself at her. He shouldn’t have done it - a move like that could be considered a threat coming from him - but Uraraka was quicker. She had training and time at the gym on her side while he walked to work and carried a seventeen pound baby around. She activated her quirk on herself and flipped over the arm of the couch, letting go just long enough to deactivate her quirk and land on her feet so that she was standing beside the couch. Leaning over and holding onto it like she might activate her quirk on the couch, and therefore him, she wore a grin on her face. Then she pressed a finger to her lips, signalling him to be quiet, and then pointed to the bedroom where Yukiko was sleeping.

All but snarling at her, Shigaraki snatched his controller back up. “You’re a little shit. You did that purpose so I’d be distracted during the next game.”

“You’ve gotta do whatever it takes to win,” Uraraka countered.

Shigaraki leaned over and smirked. “Oh, you’re-”

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

As Uraraka jerked upright and let out a yip sound, Shigaraki slammed his hand over his face. “For fuck’s sake, Touya, would it kill you to knock on the door instead of breaking in every damn time?” The asshole in question only grinned in response. He stood in the open doorway, swinging a bag around by the strap with his finger. “What the hell are you doing here? Didn’t I just see you?”

“Yeah, but Fuyumi forgot to pack Yukiko’s clothes, so she wanted me to drop them off before I went to work.” Touya stopped spinning the bag and promptly threw it in Shigaraki’s face. He swore, batting it aside, but Touya was no longer interested in him, his attention having landed on the other person in the room. “Hello, Uravity. Fancy seeing you here.”

“You too,” Uraraka responded dryly.

“It’s a shame you didn’t come out last night with Shigaraki,” Touya said, sounding far too pleased with himself. “I think he would’ve had a lot more fun with some company.”

Honestly, one of these days, Shigaraki was going to murder Touya and the authorities would thank him. He was a public menace even now that he wasn’t a villain.

Uraraka shrugged. “I might have, but I didn’t get an invite.”

Touya mock-gasped. “You didn’t even invite her out?” He pressed a hand over his chest and stared at Shigaraki with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. “How could you be so rude? This hero has been nothing but helpful and kind to you. The least you could’ve done was offered to buy her a drink or two.”

Shigaraki rubbed his temple. “I swear, Touya, I’m gonna-”

Crying from the bedroom cut him off and made him jump to his feet so quickly that he forgot what he was even saying. Before he could rush inside to make sure Yukiko didn’t try to roll out of the sleep nest, Uraraka waved him away and went into the bedroom to retrieve her. He thought of all the dirty clothes lying on the floor and tried not to cringe. Maybe she wasn’t anxious about stepping into his room after all. More than likely, her natural instinct to calm Yukiko down won over anything else. A few seconds later, the crying began to quiet down, and they heard a soothing murmur.

“Guess that talk last night helped, huh?” Touya said. “Where’s my thanks?”

Shigaraki rounded the couch and pointed a threatening finger at him. “Shut the hell up.”

“Why?” The grin was back on Touya’s face and twice as smug. “You mad I interrupted your little date?”

“For fuck’s sake-”

“Can you lay out a blanket on the floor and get her bag?” Uraraka asked as she stepped back into the room with Yukiko in her arms. “Someone needs to be changed.”

“Good fucking God,” Touya groaned, waving a hand in the air and taking a step back. “She’s like a bomb. You could take out an entire block with her shit alone.”

Shigaraki did as she asked and snapped, “Stop being such a wimp.”

“You could kill someone with that smell.”

Uraraka ignored him as she lied Yukiko down on the blanket and got down on her knees to quickly change the diaper. She could’ve told him to do it and he would have, but she didn’t even bother. He kind of thought he was a little faster than her, but he had a lot more experience too. He had to change Yukiko’s diaper at least five or six times a day, if not more. He’d stopped counting after the first week, which made visits to her pediatrician fun when he could not remember shit for the life of him.

“There.” Uraraka put the diaper in a bag and handed it to Shigaraki, who threw it in the trash. He had to take it out tonight anyway. Touya looked utterly aghast over the whole ordeal. After rolling Yukiko onto her belly, she stood up and wiped the hand sanitizer on her pants. “Do you think she’s hungry?”

Shigaraki turned toward the kitchen. “Yeah, probably-”

“What was that?” Touya demanded shrilly, staring at the entertainment center with even wider eyes. Had he actually gone pale too? He looked like he’d just seen a ghost. What the hell was wrong with him? Shigaraki couldn’t remember ever seeing Touya look like this before. The closest was when he thought Shouto was killed in his third year, but the brat turned out to be alive.

“It’s the new Mortal Kombat game,” Shigaraki said.

“No, no.” Touya shook his head. “I just saw something move.”

“The game-”

“It wasn’t the fucking game!” Touya exclaimed. “It went behind the TV stand.”

Uraraka and Shigaraki met each other’s eyes. Neither one of them had a clue what he was going on about. Taking a deep breath, she stepped around the couch to get a closer look. “I don’t know-”

Then a rat scurried out from behind the TV stand and went somewhere behind the bookcase.

Multiple things happened at once. Uraraka shrieked so loudly that Shigaraki was shocked the windows didn’t shatter. She stumbled away from the stand and snatched up Yukiko as fast as she could. They floated in the air, Uraraka having activated her quirk on both of them, until her back bumped into the ceiling. She clutched a confused and crying Yukiko to her chest as she breathed heavily. Touya yelled again and jumped onto a chair at the kitchen table. Shigaraki let out a string of curses as he scrambled onto the couch. He’d seen rats before in the shitty hideouts they’d stayed in as villains, but none since he’d moved into his own place.

And that fucker had been huge.

“A rat! A fucking rat!” Touya yelled. “What the fuck, Shigaraki? You’ve been living here for how long and you didn’t notice you had goddamn Ratatouille living in your place with you? With Yukiko?”

“I didn’t know!” Shigaraki shouted back. “If I’d known, I would’ve done something about it!”

“You can’t keep living like this! You’ve got your daughter to think about! What the fuck is that thing eating? Is it on steroids? Is it still behind the bookcase? Did you see it, Uraraka?”

She shook her head. “No, I didn’t look. I could only think about getting Yukiko off the ground.”

Uraraka’s knees were lifted and bent, tucked against her chest to hold Yukiko in place. Now that they were simply floating in the air like a balloon, she’d calmed down and stopped crying. Uraraka snatching her up suddenly had startled her. He would’ve been surprised by how well she was handling zero gravity if not for the fact that there was a monster loose in his apartment.

“Well?” Touya prompted, staring Uraraka down.

“Well what?”

“Do something!” Touya snapped. “You’re the hero, aren’t you?”

“I’m off duty,” Uraraka said flatly.

Touya threw his hands in the air. “C’mon! What kind of bullshit is that?”

“My quirk is touch-based!” Uraraka exclaimed, turning her body away as if to shield Yukiko from Touya’s madness. Next he’d be suggesting she do it. “I’m not touching that thing! What do you want me to do? Chase it around, grab it, and then chuck it out the window? Are you crazy?”

“Great,” Shigaraki said dryly as he glared the bookcase down. “I should’ve released a fuckton of rats into the streets. That would’ve stopped heroes cold, apparently.”

Uraraka shot him a look so dirty that he nearly stumbled off the couch. “You aren’t looking too fearless yourself.”

“This is your apartment,” Touya said. “Do something about it, Shigaraki.”

“I’ve got a touch-based quirk too, you dumbass. I’m not about to touch that disgusting vermin and have rat ashes all over my damn floor.”

Touya groaned so dramatically that he might as well have been an actor on television. “Think of all the shit everywhere. You don’t clean this place enough. They found all your trash and they’ve come to stay here. We’re standing in a cesspool of disease and germs!”

“Would you stop it?” Shigaraki growled. He reached up and gently grabbed Uraraka’s ankle with four fingers. She had managed to float over to him, still holding onto Yukiko for dear life. To be honest, Yukiko seemed more than content to float around in Uraraka’s arms. He hadn’t seen her ever look that peaceful and happy before. Wasn’t that how she was supposed to be in that swing All Might got him?

With a grip on her ankle, he gently tugged Uraraka down from the ceiling, moving to grip onto her jacket in order to pull her level with him. He had to hold onto her securely in order for her to not float awkwardly off into the air again. Only when her feet were near the couch did she finally release her quirk. Once more, her weight on the couch moved him and his chest crashed into her back, but he clung to her almost as tightly as she was Yukiko to make sure they didn’t fall off the couch. Sure, a rat could climb onto the couch or chair, meaning the ceiling was safest, but he didn’t want his daughter to float aimlessly out of his reach.

“Maybe it’s gone,” Uraraka suggested. “There could be a hole in the wall behind the bookcase.”

“No, no, no.” Touya shook his head. “It’s hiding, biding its time, waiting to pounce on us.”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Now you’re being ridic-” She started shrieking again when the rat chose that exact moment to scurry out from behind the bookcase. Shigaraki unintentionally tightened his grip on her to make sure she didn’t activate her quirk again, but he didn’t need to, since she turned around to bury her face in his chest like it was the most terrifying thing in the world.

Blue fire exploded from the kitchen area where Touya activated his quirk in a panic when the rat made the unfortunate choice to head in his direction. “No! Fuck! Get away! Fuck! Fuck! We’re gonna get the bubonic plague! Fucking filthy piece of shit!”

“Touya, stop it!” Shigaraki yelled. “You’re gonna burn down the place!”

“At least it’ll die too!”

The thought was good in theory, but foiled by the fact that the fire resulted in something worse. Now there wasn’t just one giant rat scurrying around the apartment. There were three, all of them running around and squeaking shrilly as the smoke rousted them from their hiding places. It was like something out of a horror movie. Shigaraki swore he hadn’t seen any signs of them, but they were here now, and it was bad. Touya was on the table, his head bumping into the ceiling. If Uraraka hadn’t been holding onto Yukiko, he was almost positive she would’ve crawled into his arms or on his shoulders. She nearly activated her quirk again, but he stopped her at the last second.

“We’re fucked!” Touya lamented. “How the hell are we supposed to get out of here?”

Uraraka pulled away from his chest. “I can float us out.” She peered up at Shigaraki. “I’m not touching the ground with those things running around.” He wasn’t either, so he nodded. If one of those things came anywhere near him, he was likely to disintegrate the floor on the spot. “I know you don’t like it when other people use their quirks on you, but-”

“It’s okay,” Shigaraki cut in. “Get us the fuck out of here.”

“Oh man, I bet they’re everywhere in this shithole.” Touya shuddered, holding out his hand like he might shoot off another ball of fire if he saw another rat. They were lucky the place hadn’t gone up in flames, but there were definitely singe marks on the floor. So much for his deposit. “This entire building is probably infested. I swear to God, if I see one in that hallway, I’m burning this whole motherfucker to the ground. It’s a health hazard and a violation of every public health code in existence.”

Shigaraki wanted to comment on Touya’s issues with germs, but he couldn’t, not when he locked eyes with Uraraka, who was far closer to him than ever before. She was just right there with Yukiko pressed up between them, cozy as could be despite them freaking out. He was pretty sure he’d heard her even laughing while he and Uraraka screamed in horror. This was not the time for him to be having some sort of Moment, but for however much she hated rats or was scared of them, there was a sort of calmness in her brown eyes that steadied him.

“You good?” Uraraka asked.

“Just do it.”

She tapped his arm, and he floated to the ceiling effortlessly, although he still had a hand on her shoulder. He felt clumsy and awkward. She made it look so easy, but he felt helpless. He’d never experienced her quirk like this before, only seen it in action, but it was strange as hell. It was like being underwater, except there was nothing he could use to propel himself.

After activately her quirk on herself and Yukiko, she floated up next to him. “Use your fingers to pull on the ceiling.” She grabbed hold of the bottom of his shirt, and he did as she told him. Instead of feeling any resistance due to her holding onto him, there was nothing. They were weightless.

Once they reached Touya, she reached down to tap him. He handled being weightless about as well as Shigaraki, if not worse, flailing around like a dumbass fish out of water. When he hit the ceiling, he immediately relaxed, totally relieved at being as far away from the rats as possible. Shigaraki didn’t want to think about how more could be in the ceiling. It would only serve to make Touya panic again and burn the place down.

Together, all four of them made their way to the door, which took some time to open since they were on the ceiling. In the end, Uraraka passed Yukiko over to him very carefully and turned herself upside down. With her feet planted on the ceiling, she stood and reached the doorknob, twisting it and pulling the door open so they could all pull themselves outside. It was tricky getting themselves close enough to the floor for her to be able to deactivate her quirk safely, but they managed it. As soon as his feet hit the floor, Touya jerked the door shut, leaving the four of them standing in silence in the hallway.

“So… stairs or elevator?” Uraraka asked, staring at the door.

“We should’ve gone through the damn window,” Touya said. He turned to Shigaraki. “You’re fucked. There’s no way in hell you can keep living here now, not unless you wanna wake up to rats crawling all over you.”

Shigaraki grimaced. He had planned on looking for somewhere else to stay, but preferably after he got a raise and was able to save up some money. Waiting wasn’t an option any longer. Even if an exterminator came in and took care of the problem - cleaned it from top to bottom - there was no way he could stay here any longer. He needed to get the fuck out. His lease wasn’t up, but he was pretty sure a rat infestation might give him cause to break it without any fees.

“This is stupid,” Shigaraki finally said.

“I completely agree,” Touya added.

“Well… you were thinking about moving?” Uraraka offered.

Great. This was just fucking great. So much for turning his life around. All of his shit was inside that apartment - all of Yukiko’s - and now he didn’t want to step foot in there. This was so fucking stupid. Outdone and defeated by a goddamn rat or three. He really had joined the bottom of the barrel.

Chapter 23: home is where the heart is or like whatever

Notes:

Since I caught up with what I had pre-written, I was initially worried about the size of this chapter - and then I remembered that some of the chapters for Recon have been smaller than what I normally do. Maybe not a lot happens in this chapter (because a lot happens in the next one), but I'm particularly soft about this.

Chapter Text

Upon surviving the Great Rat Fiasco, Shigaraki found out he wasn’t the only one with issues concerning big ass vermin in his place. Not that he planned on living there ever again, but the entire apartment building had to essentially be emptied out so that an exterminator could take care of it. Who knew how long that would be? The whole thing was a mess, but it meant he wasn’t the only one displaced. People were either stuck in hotels, staying with family or friends, or who knew what else.

To be honest, he didn’t care about them. He was more concerned with the fact that he had an almost eight-month-old baby and nowhere to fucking live for the time being. After the League’s bar hideout had been found and destroyed, he got used to living in random places. Some of them were better than others. He missed the solitude of his apartment and all of his things, but he had his freedom and his mind. And honestly, he didn’t mind the other League members being there. He wasn’t alone. He could always make something of himself as long as he had himself.

It was harder to think that when he had a baby on his hands. He admittedly sometimes thrived on chaos even now whereas she truly needed stability. Luckily, she could still go to daycare, so that part of her schedule didn’t have to stop, but he needed to figure something out quick. He had to be better. He’d sworn that he would be.

Even though every second pained him, he braved his place long enough to pack two bags for him and Yukiko and swiped all the formula and diapers he could before the building was completely closed off and then bounced. There was no way in hell he was going to take her back in there again. One of those suckers might’ve been large enough to carry her away. He wasn’t going to let her get raised by rats.

He had Sunday off, so he did all of that while Yukiko stayed over at Uraraka’s. It was...kind of weird, but the whole thing had been last minute. Yukiko had already spent the night with Fuyumi, so he didn’t want to put that on her again. Touya had acted like he was actively dying and so fucking melodramatic that he sounded ready to bathe in hand sanitizer despite the potential agony it would cause him. The easiest thing for Shigaraki to do while he got their shit together and into a heated discussion with his landlord was for her to go with Uraraka.

After an argument with his landlord over his lease, he went to the closest laundromat and washed their clothes again. It didn’t matter if they were “clean”. He had to make sure. He even threw her stuffed animals in there for good measure. As soon as he was let back into his place, he was going to scrub everything down. He didn’t give a shit what anyone said. He kept his place relatively decent despite the chaos. With her slowly starting to crawl now, he didn’t have as much of a choice, but she was growing more independent so he had time to do things. Working up the effort was more of an issue now, but nothing inspired him to clean like fucking rats and their beady, little eyes and paws.

Once that was taken care of, he headed to the address Uraraka had sent him. This wasn’t weird. She’d been to his place plenty of times. He’d gone to Touya’s place plenty of times. This was what...friends did. After having survived a bunch of scurrying rats together and her saving them from probably humiliating themselves even further, he had to consider her to be on that level. She had been before, but he was a stubborn asshole if nothing else. She’d never referred to them as friends except for that one time someone confused them for a couple, so maybe she hadn’t even thought of him that way.

Shigaraki rubbed his temple and sighed in aggravation. This day definitely could not get any worse.

As fate would have it, he was wrong about that.

Uraraka’s apartment building was a pretty big step-up from his, but it wasn’t as fancy as he was expecting from a hero. Granted, their pay was still based on rank in the popularity polls besides bonuses from their agencies, so it made sense that she lived modestly. Still, the hallways were very clean and bright and there were no cracks on the walls, so there was that.

When he knocked on the door, he heard her muffled voice call out on the other side. With two bags on the ground at his feet and Yukiko’s backpack slung over his shoulder, he ran his fingers through his hair. He felt so out of place here. Everything was too bright. He didn’t belong here with his dark clothes and his messy everything. He probably looked a disaster. At least he’d showered this morning, but it was night now and he felt gross from the whole thing. All he wanted to do was sleep, but he still needed to get Yukiko and then get a motel room and…

Ugh, this was so damn annoying. Why was he so fucking anxious? He was even resisting the urge to claw at his neck and he hadn’t done that in months.

The door opened to reveal Uraraka, just as he expected, in a change of clothes. She’d switched to sweatpants and a jacket over a tank top. Her hair looked faintly wet too, so she must’ve taken a shower. Lucky her. He still felt like there were rat germs on him. He’d never had that issue when he was a villain living in rat-infested places, so he didn’t know why it was a problem now.

“Hey! Come on in. Yukiko just fell asleep.”

“Shit, I was hoping she’d still be up,” Shigaraki grumbled as he followed her inside. “Getting her back to sleep after moving her is a nightmare.”

Uraraka tossed him a strange look but didn’t make a comment. He was grateful if only because he was too tired to navigate what that look might’ve meant. However, he came to an immediate halt when he walked into her small but cozy living room to find that she wasn’t by herself.

“Um, remember when I said I had plans this evening?” Uraraka asked as she stepped up beside him. She rubbed the back of her neck. “I kind of forgot to cancel them.”

“Hi!” greeted a pink-skinned woman from the couch. Said woman was holding onto a passed out Yukiko, who looked more than content to sleep in the stranger’s arm, and wore a cheerful smile on her face, completely undeterred by his lack of reaction or the way Uraraka hung herself at his side in embarrassment. “We’ve sorta met before? I mean, not directly, but…”

“You were a part of Uraraka and Midoriya’s class,” Shigaraki supplied in a flat tone.

“Yup! I’m Mina Ashido, Ochako’s best friend.”

Ah. Her. The girl who was pestering Uraraka when they were trying to keep this whole thing a secret. She’d only been concerned about her friend. It was absurd to think of it now, but he had really freaked out over the idea of people knowing about Yukiko and Uraraka helping him out in any way. How utterly idiotic of him. He did remember Ashido vaguely, but he’d never interacted with her like the way he had Midoriya, Bakugou, or Uraraka - meaning he hadn’t directly tried to kill her. That was something positive at least, right?

Ashido blinked and then stood up to carefully hold Yukiko out to him. “Oh, you probably want her back. Sorry, I was holding her while Uraraka made dinner and ate real quick. She’s hard to resist.”

Shigaraki stepped forward and took Yukiko from her. He put a hand behind her head before it could loll in her sleep. He knew she would be unharmed, but he couldn’t help but feel wary after today. Uraraka opened her mouth, probably to apologize since she knew he was particular about who was around Yukiko, but he shook his head to stop her. It didn’t matter. His more pressing concern was what Yukiko was wearing.

“Is this...a Pro Hero Deku onesie?” Shigaraki slowly turned to stare Uraraka down.

“I felt like I had to change her clothes,” Uraraka replied defensively, a wide, anxious smile on her face. “You changed outfits.” Yeah, after he washed everything. Even the slightest chance that a rat had touched his stuff made him too uncomfortable until he changed. “I didn’t have anything on hand, but then I remembered the free bundle of merch I got from Deku. It had a onesie in it.” She shrugged. “Better than nothing?”

Holding Yukiko against his chest in one arm, Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose with his other hand. It could have been worse. She could’ve been wearing old All Might merch. A lot of those bundles came with some truly random shit. He would know since he bought a few just to destroy them whenever he was in a foul mood. Some might have said that was a waste of money, but it had been therapeutic to him at the time so he considered it worth it.

“It’s fine. I don’t care.” He wasn’t mad at her. At least she’d had the foresight to change Yukiko after she was on the floor, even if she had been lying on a blanket.

Before Uraraka could say anything or make sure he wasn’t lying, Ashido startled and then pulled her phone out of her pocket. She cringed, an ugly expression tinged with horror and reluctance crossing her face. “Okay, so normally I would lie and say that I have to make a call so you two can have some alone time-”

“Mina!”

“-but I really have to take this...outside…” Ashido shrugged unapologetically. “I’ll be back.” She brushed past them to step outside. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Safety first!”

Uraraka rounded on her heels, her cheeks almost as pink as her friend’s skin. “Mina, there’s a baby!”

“I’m pretty sure she couldn’t understand us even if she was awake,” Shigaraki pointed out flatly. That didn’t seem to comfort Uraraka any as she glared at the door her friend her disappeared through. It looked like she also had a friend that enjoyed teasing her, just like Touya did with him. Wait, shit. Too late - he’d already had the thought that Touya was his friend. At least he hadn’t said it out loud, even if he had to admit that they were.

Tugging at her hair, Uraraka turned around and walked into what he assumed was a small kitchen. “Did you want anything to eat? I’ve got leftovers. I typically cook a lot of food all at once so I don’t have to cook later.”

“No, I’m not really hungry after everything.” Rats didn’t really inspire hunger, and he’d gone longer periods without eating even before Yukiko. Plus, it was already later than he’d wanted it to be when he was finished with everything. He was running behind. He needed to get a motel room and then at least a few hours of sleep before he had work tomorrow. After work, he’d take the night to figure out what to do next. “It’s late and I need a shower myself. I should get going.”

“Oh.” Uraraka paused in the doorway and glanced at Yukiko in his arms. “Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “I meant are you sure about going somewhere - since it is so late.” What would he do if he didn’t go? Surely she wasn’t implying… She huffed. “I’m not asking you to spend the night with me.” He almost choked on his tongue. He wasn’t thinking that . “I have a fold-out couch” - which looked nicer than his but not by much if he was being honest - “and spare pillows and blankets. You can even take a shower.”

“No.” Shigaraki shook his head. “No, I can’t do that. It’s-”

Too much. It was too nice. Besides the time he passed out on Touya’s couch after dinner with his family, he’d never stayed at someone else’s place. He never felt comfortable enough. It left him far too vulnerable, especially with Yukiko around. Not that Uraraka was dangerous or anything, but it would be awkward, even if she had fallen asleep on his couch that one time. She hadn’t stayed the night though despite his half-assed offer. It only made sense that she was doing the same now. She was being polite.

Perhaps sensing his conflicting thoughts over accepting the offer, Uraraka held her hands up in front of her. “I’d give you space, so you wouldn’t have to worry about me being all up in your business or whatever.”

“I don’t want to be all up in your business,” Shigaraki shot back, only for Uraraka to sputter into laughter. “What? What’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just-” Uraraka put a hand over her mouth as she pulled herself back together. “It was really funny hearing you say ‘all up in your business’, okay? I wasn’t expecting it.” She pulled her hand away from her mouth so she could wave it in the air. “Regardless, it’d be fine. I’m honestly pretty tired, so I might crash soon and I can stay in my room and torture myself by scrolling through social media accounts until I pass out.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Sounds riveting.”

The one good thing about being a villain was that he didn’t have to worry about social media accounts. He still didn’t and neither did Touya or Iguchi as far as he knew. Heroes had to constantly keep theirs up to date so they remained in the spotlight. Even if they didn’t, the media wouldn’t let them if something particularly interesting happened. All Might had been in the news if he so much as sneezed.

“Trust me,” Uraraka said melodramatically, “dodging relatives asking me when I’m gonna get married on top of reading media articles about how I must be pregnant because I’ve gained three pounds since my return from China is a blast.”

“Well.” Shigaraki raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

Uraraka smacked him in the arm, just barely avoiding hitting him with all five fingers. “Asshole! No!”

Shigaraki swept a quick gaze over her. “You look fine to me - no different from before.” Her sweatpants and jacket might’ve been light and baggy, but the cheap tank top she wore underneath was tight, so it would’ve been easy to spot if she was showing. Then again, it wasn’t like he’d been paying attention to any changes in her body before. She always looked cute - good, she looked good. Normal. Average. Ugh, he needed a shower and sleep. “I can go get a motel room. It’s not a big deal. I’ve stayed in shadier places, but I’ll make sure to find a decent one for her.”

When Uraraka stepped up to him, Shigaraki’s first thought was to take a step back. There was far too intense of a look on her face to be normal. She stopped just a foot in front of him and put her hands on her hips, tilting her head up to meet his eyes. He pressed his lips together and glared down at her. Why did this feel like a threat?

“Stop it. I thought we’d moved past this.” He had known Uraraka could be intense, but geez, this was a little much. Nearly being attacked by rats must have thrown her for a number more than he realized. “If it was just you, it’d be fine, but you’ve got Yukiko to consider. Dragging her around from place-to-place while you figure out what your next move is won’t cut it, and you know that.”

Damnit. She was right. He did know that. He didn’t want to drag Yukiko around in the middle of the night to some stupid ass motel when she was already asleep. Likely it would only wake her up and she’d either be upset about being in a strange place or she simply wouldn’t go back to sleep. It would be easier and better to just unfold the couch, lay her back down, and crash next to her. But this was Uraraka’s place. It was her home. Maybe it wasn’t as weird as he was making it out in his head, but… She was a pro hero. Being friends with her was one thing, but this felt like something else.

Yeah, he was getting into his own head.

Her expression softened, and he really hated it when she did that. It had no right to be that effective. “I’m not going to force it on you, but hear me out. It’s late, so just stay here tonight. It’s really not a big deal. I’ll stay out of your way so you won’t even know I’m here. You can get a motel room when you get off work but before you pick Yukiko up from daycare. It’s just for a few hours and you’ll save money.”

Shigaraki almost scowled. “You’re a nightmare to deal with sometimes.”

Uraraka blew a soft raspberry, not fully managing to suppress a grin. “Gee, what a way to compliment a girl after she offers you and your baby a place to stay the night after rats attacked her in your apartment.”

“They didn’t attack you.”

“I swear that one behind the bookcase jumped at me!”

“Well, you two look cozy,” Ashido said from behind.

Both Uraraka and Shigaraki took a step back from each other. When he turned around, he found Ashido smirking at them far too knowingly. His glare did absolutely nothing to deter to look on her face. In fact, it only seemed to make it worse. He was far too used to Touya giving him that look. He did not need it here too. Sometimes, it really sucked when people knew them well. It was harder to get away with bullshit.

“Everything okay?” Uraraka asked.

“What?” Ashido’s smirk fell, but then she glanced at the phone in her hand and got the point. “Oh, yeah! Everything’s fine. It was, uh...”

Uraraka sighed. “I figured. It’s okay. You can say his name. I’m not gonna get all weepy.”

Oh, the call that had taken Ashido into the hallway - it had been from Bakugou. Shigaraki wasn’t an idiot. The only person she would avoid talking about would probably be her ex, especially with him around. She’d never said he was her ex directly, even if he had found out. Shit, he still hadn’t told her or Touya about Bakugou confronting him at work. To be honest, it kind of slipped his mind. Every time he thought about it, he’d decide to tell her later and then he’d forget about it by the time “later” arrived. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal.

Ashido laughed awkwardly. “Right, of course! He needed my advice for something and got all worked up and, well…”

“Go on,” Uraraka told her.

A groan slipped from Ashido. “I’m the worst, aren’t I?”

“Nah, you’re the best friend ever.” Uraraka smiled and walked over to hug her. “Don’t let him drive you crazy too much or I’ll beat him up.”

“Isn’t that my job?” Ashido joked as she hugged her back. When she pulled away, she pointed at Shigaraki. “What about Mr. Mom over there? You good with him?”

Mr. Mom-? Shigaraki took a deep breath. No, he wasn’t going to say anything to insult Uraraka’s best friend. That would only end poorly. Uraraka was offering him a place for Yukiko (and him) to stay the night so he didn’t have to search for a place to sleep last second. The least he could do was keep his mouth shut instead of saying something that would likely get him either kicked out or floated to the ceiling for timeout. She was lucky he’d practiced not saying shit in prison or around Fuyumi.

Uraraka tossed him a look over her shoulder and shrugged. “I should be fine. I think I can take him.”

“I was a notorious villain for years,” Shigaraki said, sounding too close to petulant for his taste.

“The key word being ‘was’. I’m still a hero.” Uraraka gave him the finger guns, which he honestly didn’t know how to take. His expression fell somewhere in between bemused and unamused, which made Ashido laugh. They said goodbye, Ashido waved to either him or Yukiko, and then she was gone. Uraraka turned back around to him. “I’ll get the pillows and blanket and get the couch set up.” When he opened his mouth to argue, she cut in, “You’ve got a sleeping baby in her arms. Deal with it. Just think of this as a luxury hotel.”

Shigaraki checked out what he could see of the apartment. “I mean, compared to some of the places I’ve slept, it’s not that bad.”

“Thanks,” Uraraka replied dryly as she took the couch cushions off and pulled out the couch to turn it into a bed. “You should’ve seen my place before I moved here. It was huge. I didn’t know what to do with all that space. There was so much junk we didn’t even need. I kinda felt like I didn’t belong because it was so nice.”

“Right.” Shigaraki nodded. “Ground Zero was the number five hero last year, so he must’ve been raking in the big bucks. No wonder it was ridiculous.”

Uraraka froze at the closet, but before he could even think to half-ass apologize or say something else, she kept moving. She pulled a blanket and two pillows out and then carried them over to the makeshift bed. “Yeah, it was. I never would’ve been able to afford a place on my own like that, so it made sense for me to move out.” She turned around and put on a smile. “I don’t mind the size of this place though, to be honest. It’s cozier. I kinda prefer it that way. Makes it feel more like home.”

He couldn’t tell whether she genuinely meant it or if she simply wanted to avoid the topic. Either way, he wasn’t about to bring up Bakugou again. That had been twice in less than a few minutes, and he could sense her discomfort. It was strange. She didn’t look upset at the mention of his name so much as she just didn’t want to hear it at all. He could understand that. He hated even thinking about All Might and avoided thoughts about All for One as much as possible. She didn’t need him digging up dirt. He didn’t need that kind of blackmail on people anymore.

“You sure this is okay?” Shigaraki asked, trying his hardest to be polite. His patience was waning, however, and he could feel his ability to deal with things getting shorter.

“Yes, and if you need another night or two to get your shit together, that’s fine.” Uraraka watched him lay Yukiko down on the mattress. She rolled onto her side, throwing her head back in what looked like a very uncomfortable position and curling her hands under her chin. How did she sleep like that? “I go back to work in two days, but it’s day shift still. I just want Yukiko to be safe and content.”

“Babies make you so soft,” Shigaraki mocked.

“Just this one,” Uraraka chirped, “and Yukiko.” She was never going to stop that joke, was she? He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but just barely. “Shower is down the hall on the left. Towels are in there too. I’ll be in my room fake-liking facebook statuses and Instagram pictures in between reading articles out of spite if you need me.”

Shigaraki shook his head as she walked down the hall into the room across from the one she pointed out as the bathroom. What a ridiculous woman. She was so painfully normal that he almost forgot about the video he’d seen of her on the news. How could someone that incredibly strong - someone willing to die and risk their life for complete strangers in another country - be the same person who froze up when she heard her ex’s name or spent time on social media platforms feeling petty? It didn’t make any sense.

Okay, maybe it did, considering he used to obsessively read articles about heroes even though he hated them, collected merch just to destroy it, and went on walks to clear his mind in between committing villainous and vigilante acts that the government marked as terrorism. Humans were complex creatures even in their simplicity. There had to be the ordinary even within the extraordinary.

As much as he wanted to take a shower, the idea of taking one in Uraraka’s bathroom with her shampoo and soap threw him off too much. If he did that, he would lie awake thinking about it for hours while Yukiko soundly slept, and he didn’t want to do that. He glanced at the products while using the restroom, which was decorated almost as sparsely as his, and was surprised to find they were similar to the items he bought. Yeah, her body wash was fruity as expected, but most of her stuff was pretty basic, meant for price over function or girliness. She really did have a habit of spending money frugally.

Yukiko was still asleep when he turned off the lights and laid down next to her. Her little mouth was parted slightly so that he could hear her breathing. He tugged his gloves on and pulled the blanket up to his waist. Sleeping in an unfamiliar place usually put him on edge. He could see the glow of Uraraka’s bedroom underneath her door and then shut his eyes in determination to fall asleep. Just when he was considering saying fuck it and turning on the tv, he fell asleep with one hand resting on Yukiko. She was safe and happy. It was strangely comforting enough to put him at ease here.

Chapter 24: Betrayal comes in the unlikeliest of forms

Notes:

Okay, you all see the "Crack Treated Seriously" tag, so I hope you all enjoy a little more ridiculous humor. This involves something we've been joking and talking about on my server for a while now. I knew I wanted it in this fic, but I didn't know when. Turned out, it was perfect for this storyline because it's already ridiculous. Just know that I plan on writing a prequel/companion piece to what happens in this if only to make myself laugh. Also, I'm just here for some soft af moments, okay, whether Shigaraki wants them or not. He can D E A L with it.

Chapter Text

Uraraka was still asleep when Shigaraki woke up, but that was only because Yukiko woke up a few hours later. He sat with her for an hour watching television and coaxing her back to sleep before he fell asleep with her in his arms. Little brat. When he woke up again, it was to the sound of the sink running in the bathroom, which meant she was awake. He really freaking should take a shower before he went to work, but there was that same dilemma. It was weird enough taking a shower in a hotel, but in someone else’s place? With them in it?

To be honest, there probably wasn’t anything odd about that, but he didn’t like it. Maybe it was a leftover feeling from prison where the showers were a good place to get stabbed. He’d never liked going there after that incident, even if it didn’t happen again. Uraraka wasn’t likely to stab him, so he should be safe, but he couldn’t help but be wary. Maybe he could take one at Touya’s. That would be odd. Call up Touya to use his shower instead of the one right here. He’d ask questions.

Shigaraki did not need him asking questions. He’d told Touya that he was getting a hotel room and planned on letting him keep thinking that. The asshole kept secrets from him all the time. He could do the same once in a while.

When Uraraka slunk out of the bathroom, her hair was still a mess and eyelids heavy. When he raised an eyebrow at her, she groaned and covered her face. “I stayed up too late watching TV on my phone. I don’t know why I do that. It always messes with my sleep schedule.”

Absolutely ridiculous. Shigaraki waved a hand at her. “Go back to bed.”

“But Yukiko-”

“She’s fine. I’ll lay her on a towel or whatever in the bathroom while I shower and change for work.” Before she could argue with him, he grabbed her by the shoulders and somewhat gently shoved her back into her bedroom. She only pouted a little, but she didn’t fight him. Once inside, she sighed and waved a dismissive hand at him, and he stepped back so he could shut the door.

For some reason, he had a feeling it hadn’t just been Netflix keeping her up. There was something off about her this morning. She looked kind of...bummed out. The usual spark he saw in her wasn’t there. Maybe it was just because she was tired. He wasn’t exactly Prince Charming when he woke up first thing in the morning.

Biting the bullet, Shigaraki did as he said he would, laying Yukiko on a towel to play, while he took the world’s quickest shower. He could not afford to show up to work looking grimy when he wanted to ask for a raise. If one of his coworkers asked him why he smelled like sweet green tea, then he’d glare long enough to make them leave. He had packed the quirk-enhanced lotion to counteract his quirk’s issues and fixed his hair as much as he could. There, he looked pretty presentable considering how fast he went.

Even Yukiko seemed to approve as she raised her arms to him and said, “Dada!”

Shigaraki froze. Had she just…? No, it couldn’t be. She loved to babble, but he’d never heard a clear word from her. He’d been getting kind of nervous since he had read that a lot of kids said their first words around five or six months. He didn’t want to think she was behind in developing, but then she had spent the first three months of her life on the run with a serial killer. He didn’t know what to expect in how that might affect her mental and emotional development. Not even her pediatrician knew what to think when she’d had that information laid on her.

And then, as clear as day, with a little more insistence: “Dada!”

His stomach twisted, and he bent down to her level. “Yeah, that’s me.”

Yukiko smiled at him, two teeth poking out of her gums to give him a crooked smile. Carefully, he picked up her with a four finger hold and then lifted her as he stood. She kicked her legs and laughed as he dangled her in the air, quite pleased with the movement. “Dada.”

When he moved to hold her against his chest, she put her arms almost around his neck and leaned her cheek on his shoulder, like she was hugging him. He sighed. “Ah, fuck.”

Hadn’t he made fun of Uraraka for being soft around babies? Look at him now, feeling all sorts of conflicted and befuddled over Yukiko saying “dad” as her first understandable word. He was goddamn weak. Even the most pathetic villain would probably be able to pick him off at this point.

It was kind of weird leaving Uraraka’s place while she was asleep, but once he was out the door, relief overwhelmed him. Not that the apartment was weird or she was strange, but it felt so oddly domestic and simple that he couldn’t take it. Accepting help in the form of her watching Yukiko and paying for a meal once was one thing, but he’d slept on her couch. People couldn’t possibly be that nice without ulterior motives, could they? He supposed if anyone could it would be her, but he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to take it.

Shortly after dropping Yukiko off at daycare and making his way to work to open up the store, he got a text from Touya, his usual concerned self: You find a place to stay for now? Fuyumi’s been bugging me about it non-stop. She’s worried.

Shigaraki finished the last few steps of opening before he responded back: Yeah. Tell her not to worry about it.

Where?

Got a hotel room like I said I would.

Which one?

Furrowing his brow, Shigaraki dropped into the chair behind the counter and typed back irritably: What’s with the third degree? You normally don’t give a shit to ask so many details.

Because I wanted to make sure you were telling the truth. And you aren’t.

What the…? Stupid asshole. How would he know that? It wasn’t like Touya was a natural-born lie detector. Just because he was good at lying and it was second nature to him did not mean he could spot a lie through texts alone or that everyone else lied as much as him. Granted, Shigaraki was lying, but it wasn’t lying he was sleeping in a ditch or anything. Yukiko had been safe and warm and actually slept pretty damn good, all things considered. Touya just needed to get off his case.

Maybe I just don’t want you popping up unannounced like you did at my apartment all the time.

No. You would’ve told me where and then insulted me. You avoided it instead.

Since when did you become a detective?

You learn to catch details like that when you’re living a lie and need to be one step ahead to keep it that way. Damnit, the asshole had to make a low blow. He wasn’t wrong. Touya had kept his charade up as Dabi for so long because he didn’t give any details about his history. Shigaraki hadn’t even been aware of the truth about his quirk until well into his time with the League. He had to be able to catch their tells in case one of them figured out his. Look, I don’t give a shit and I’ll make up something if need be, but Fuyumi is concerned. She says our place is open to you.

And what do you say?

That we sorta lived together twice already and I ain’t about that life again.

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. Prison doesn’t count since we were on different blocks most of the time.

Yeah that’s how it felt with my dad when I lived at home. We were under the same roof. That’s bad enough.
So how was it staying at a pro hero’s place? Was Uraraka’s bed cozy?

That bastard! Okay, so it probably wasn’t a stretch to come to the conclusion where he’d stayed the night before if he hadn’t gone to a motel. Touya was right: if he had, he would’ve just told Touya the name of the place and been done with it. However, he hadn’t planned on him asking and being so persistent. Maybe he wouldn’t have been if Fuyumi wasn’t worried over it, but neither one of them were good at saying no to her. Every time he thought about it, he would vaguely remember Hana, and he couldn’t… He couldn’t do it.

Gripping his phone tightly, Shigaraki shot back: the couch might’ve been better than my bed.

See. That wasn’t so hard to answer was it?

Her place is actually smaller than yours and Fuyumi’s.

I’m shocked. Pros make them big bucks. I think my dad got a big house just to spend money.

She’s not that high ranked and had to move out of her ex’s much fancier place.

Oh yeah must’ve been a downgrade from living with Ground Zero.

Shigaraki stared at the phone. How the hell did Touya know that Bakugou was Uraraka’s ex? He didn’t remember telling him about it. He hadn’t even said anything about the little shit hero coming into his workplace to threaten him. That had been a blast. It was a good thing Bakugou didn’t know about him staying over at her place or he was likely to come back here to kick shit up again.

How do you know about that?

It was all over those hero entertainment magazines and tv stations. Oh. Had it been? Shigaraki didn’t keep up with those and Uraraka had mentioned about stuff about the media. Even minor heroes could get in the middle of bad press when something humiliating happened. They could’ve talked about accomplishments, but instead they were asking her how she was faring over her ex moving on faster than her. But actually I know because of Shouto. Looks like someone made it onto his shit list above you. He complains about him a lot.

I’m honored to not be at the top of the list.

He hasn’t done anything in a while so I’d be careful if I were you. Not that Touya and Shouto knew at least since Shigaraki hadn’t told Touya about the confrontation. No doubt that would piss Shouto off. Now he kind of wanted to tell him so he’d have one Todoroki off his back. I won’t tell him you’re staying with one of his best friends. :) he’s very protective of her.

That last thing he needed was any more pro heroes in his shit, but he very likely wasn’t going to get that. He needed to get a motel after work. Once he was out of Uraraka’s hair, he’d be relieved. He hadn’t even shared a cell in prison after his cellmate tried to strangle him in a poor attempt at a paid hit. They’d decided it was better for him to remain isolated for the most part when authorities, heroes, villains, and criminals alike weren’t a fan of him. Touya had faced the same issue. Staying somewhere with someone else felt weird all over again. He’d kind of gotten used to it after being with the League for so long, but prison broke him of the habit.

Yukiko didn’t count. She was a baby. Uraraka was another matter entirely. It felt too… Intimate wasn’t the right word, but it was uncomfortable for a lot of reasons he couldn’t describe.

I’m not staying there for long. Getting a room tonight.

Stop being a dumbass. Take advantage of a free place to stay.

It’s weird.

Hell yeah it is but your entire life is one big ball of weird. Or waste your money on a shit hotel that also might have rats. Use All Might’s money to get a better place. Do whatever you want. It’s your life - and Yukiko’s.

Touya was such a goddamn bastard. Shigaraki didn’t know why he was friends with him. Instead of responding to the mocking text, he shoved his phone into his pocket and sat down. He didn’t need to deal with this right now. He’d focus on work and then figure out what to do next.

It turned out that today - unlike every other day in this godforsaken place - was busy as hell. On top of that, he remembered at the last minute that he had to meet with his parole officer to tell her about his living situation. A call might have sufficed, but he had to be extra careful since his release had been controversial. Now that he had a child, it made things even more complicated. He needed to find a place to stay so he’d have a name to give and wouldn’t look bad, but she would be off work by then. A call would have to do. He could call her during work. He could…

Just stay one more night and get off work early tomorrow to find a place to stay for the rest of the week.

As much as he hated to admit it, Touya was right about the fund All Might had set up for him. It had been for a reason like this. Besides, it was for Yukiko. While All Might received alerts whenever the account was used, he had promised not to look into it. The money was for Shigaraki alone to use and none of his business. He didn’t know how much he could trust All Might not to poke his nose around, but it would have to do.

An hour before his shift was due to end, he bit the bit and called Uraraka. She didn’t answer. It kind of irritated him, but then she could’ve been doing anything. He was just being stupid because he was aggravated over this whole mess. She didn’t owe him anything, certainly not her time. Then he wondered if maybe something had happened to her and that was why she hadn’t answered. No, that was even more stupid. She was a pro-hero who was perfectly capable of handling herself, and he was in frustrated panic mode because he was homeless with a baby.

Fifteen minutes later, she called back right as a customer was walking out the door. Looking around to make sure he wasn’t needed and someone could man the front, he stepped in the back and answered the call. Before he could even get a word in, Uraraka exclaimed, “Sorry! I was skyping with my parents and didn’t hear my phone go off. I put it on vibrate when I’m chatting with them. What’s up?”

“Hey.” Good start, super solid. Shigaraki rolled his eyes at himself. “Would it be...super inconvenient...if we…”

“Stayed another night?” Uraraka filled in for him when he didn’t want to finish the sentence.

“Ugh, yeah.”

Uraraka laughed. “Don’t sound so enthused to stay the night! We can treat it like a sleepover. You ever have one of those before?”

“Yeah, the League had movie and pillowfort nights.”

“I’m sure Touya set them up too.”

“Of course, and he was also really big on cuddling during them, especially if it was a scary movie.”

She sputtered into laughter on the other end. It was becoming far too familiar of a sound, which was a thought he did not want to think about right now. “Seriously though, you’re good. Do you want me to pick up Yukiko?” It would make his trip to see his parole officer easier as he wouldn’t have to run to make it there. Plus, she was on the list of people allowed to pick her up. He thought of the questions he’d picked for the daycare employees to ask her to make sure it was really her. That was going to be awkward. “I’m going to take your silence as you debating over whether or not your pride can handle saying ‘yes’ and go pick her up. Cool?”

“Yeah, cool.” Shigaraki really didn’t like the fact that people were finding him so easy to read. Back in the day, no one knew what he was thinking. Hell, even he didn’t know half the time. Why were people catching on now? Was it because of the hands?

“Chin up. You can get a hotel room tomorrow and stop feeling so awkward.”

“Whatever. I’ll see you later.”

He could practically hear the smile when Uraraka replied, “Careful - that almost sounded like a goodbye,” and then she hung out without saying one.

Shigaraki glared at his phone like it would do something and then put it back in his pocket. How the hell had he managed to get himself in this situation? Staying with a pro-hero because his apartment complex was infested with rats? Was the world out to get him or something? Was this karma? He didn’t know and he likely wouldn’t find out. That was just how life worked.

*

After speaking with his parole officer, Shigaraki returned to Uraraka’s place, but not before he bought food. He was sleeping on her couch; he wasn’t about to eat her food too, even if she had offered it the night before. His parole officer wasn’t as displeased as Shigaraki thought she might be, especially after he explained where he was staying until he decided on a hotel. Staying at a pro hero’s place was about as positive as it could get for him. She also liked that he was looking to move somewhere nicer. It wasn’t a good way to get that bump to do more, but she approved of his decisions and thanked him for keeping her up-to-date.

Wearing workout clothes with her hair pulled up and Yukiko on her hip, Uraraka looked downright domestic when she answered the door. It was the single weirdest thing he’d ever experienced. This was like a scene out of a movie where the dad came home from work, the couple asked each other how their day was, and they kissed one another or some other PDA shit like that.

Except Uraraka did none of that as she turned on her heels to return to the living room. “Cool, you’re back. I’m going to the gym for an hour or two.” She set Yukiko down in her boppy pillow so she could play with her toys on the floor. It wouldn’t be long before she didn’t need it at all. She was already standing by holding onto things and dropping on her ass like it was the funniest thing ever. “Everything go over okay with your parole officer?”

“Yeah.” Shigaraki dropped onto the couch, which Uraraka had folded up after he left. Shit, he should’ve done that, but he hadn’t been thinking. He hadn’t even planned on returning. What an asshole move. “She’s not happy about the whole couch surfing ordeal, but there are worse people I could be staying with until I find a better solution.”

Crouched over a gym bag, Uraraka bit her lip as she went through it. “There are plenty of people willing to help you out until then.”

“No.”

“I’m just saying - he would love to help-”

“I said no.” Shigaraki refused to even look at her, but he heard her sigh and stand upright. “I’m not asking All Might for help. I’d rather sleep in a ditch.”

“Okay, okay.” She pulled the strap of her bag over her head so that it hung diagonally across her chest. “You need anything while I’m out?” He shook his head. He did not need to ask her for more. She’d already done too much, and he didn’t know how to handle it. A part of him felt like he should do something for her, but he didn’t know what, and he hated feeling like he owed someone. “Controller for the tv is on the stand. The gaming system is the same as yours. Sake in the fridge if you need a de-stressor.”

Shigaraki scoffed. “Uh, no, I think I made a fool out of myself enough the other night.”

Uraraka chuckled. “True enough. Be good, both of you.”

When she bent over to kiss Yukiko on the head, Yukiko laughed and chattered at her loudly. Something that almost resembled “bye” could be heard from her, which made Uraraka smile. She’d just said “dada” this morning. Could she already be saying another word? Uraraka bounced out of the apartment like she was excited to go to the gym, which, ugh, sounded terrible. He’d never actually gone to a gym, but it sounded like a terrible idea. Running and lifting shit and whatever around a bunch of sweaty people? No thank you.

With Yukiko entertaining herself, babbling included, Shigaraki dug around one of the bags he packed and pulled out the memory card and a few games for his PlayStation. Lugging the whole thing around didn’t make sense, but he figured keeping the card and games on him might come in handy somewhere. He needed to blow off some steam while he ate, and this was the perfect time. He put on his gloves just in case - this wasn’t his system, after all - and popped in a game. Plus, Yukiko sometimes liked to watch him play. The only issue was that she preferred to be in his lap when she did, which made it a little awkward.

Fortunately for him, Yukiko seemed content to watch from her spot on the ground and play with her toys. He couldn’t tell if she was actually paying attention to the game, but she did sorta crawl in that direction. It was an awkward scoot on her belly, but she made it from the blanket to the front of the television. He didn’t have to pay as much attention while playing Persona so he could keep an eye on her, but Uraraka’s place was tidy and didn’t have a lot of things she could get in. He had to stop a few times when she tried to crawl around the back of the couch, pissing her off when he moved her back to her blanket.

Still, he wasn’t really in the mood to play a game by himself, so he switched to one of the online games he favored. He’d gone through a few, but it wasn’t the game so much as the people he could play with. Hey, he’d been the leader of the League of Villains - which meant that he’d learned to value teams. As much as he’d wanted to kill All Might and didn’t always like dealing with other villains, once they were a part of his squad, they were his. He’d learned that basic skill while gaming online. Some people were truly idiotic and couldn’t do shit no matter how hard they tried, but every now and then, he found a person who could actually play.

He was fortunate that Uraraka had a headset with a mic since he hadn’t packed his. He snorted at the thought of her cursing up a storm over the mic while playing a game. No doubt every guy with the speakers on freaked out when they realized a girl was playing. They probably tried giving her tips before each game. And Uraraka was so sweet at first. They would’ve been thrown for a trip when she started threatening them mid-game. Actually, that would be kind of fun. They should do that. He hadn’t had a good laugh in a while - or like ever - but it would be very entertaining to listen to a bunch of guys panic over her foul mouth.

A familiar name popped on the screen, pulling Shigaraki out of his thoughts as he waited for the game to load. There were a handful of people that he’d played with repeatedly on multiplayer online games - once you found a good player, you stuck with them for as long as you needed in a campaign - but none of them more so than TazerBlazer. It was a stupid ass name, but the guy had had it since they were kids, and it was his brand by now. In a way, they had sort of grown up together, which was weird since Shigaraki didn’t even know his real name. Most people probably would have asked for given it by now, but, well, it just never came up.

And it wasn’t like he could tell the other guy that he was Tomura Shigaraki, leader of Japan’s most notorious villain turned haphazard vigilante group.

A message from TazerBlazer popped up a few minutes later while Shigaraki was trying to corral Yukiko into sitting next to him and not on him: wut up my man u ready for some ass kickin or u got le bebe?

Yukiko refused to sit next to him, so he had to settle for her half lying/half sitting in his lap while she drank a bottle of formula. That seemed to appease her, although the way she was looking at him over the bottle suggested she knew exactly what she was doing and was being stubborn on purpose. Shigaraki wouldn’t doubt it. As luck would have it, he had to have the world’s most stubborn child. She even refused to roll over when it was just him around. She did for Uraraka and even Touya. Absolutely rude.

Shigaraki typed in a quick response: I got her but I can still play

Yasssss lets fuck em up

Eloquently said, but he’d always been like that since they were younger. Maybe it was kind of weird that Shigaraki knew so much about him and yet so little, but that was how online partnerships were like. They both knew some deep shit about each other while being vague about everything else. Shigaraki’s bad habit of randomly oversharing meant he got into some pretty heated online discussions, especially while gaming, but he couldn’t be honest or open about everything. Tazer must have been brought up to wary of strangers but was also too friendly to not just talk.

He was kind of a dumbass, had destroyed enough controllers due to his quirk to the point where his parents wouldn’t buy him one, and had a fondness for heroes, but he was a damn good healer, enjoyed it, and a quick learner. Even if he didn’t know a game well, he picked up with ease after playing for a little. Shigaraki didn’t mind giving tutorials because then someone was listening to him. It was a nice ego boost when he was a teenager and no one thought he was capable of leading the League.

After switching over to Overwatch and getting everything set up, he turned on the mic and said, “I might actually be better this time around. This TV is way nicer than mine.”

“Oh yeah?” Tazer’s cheerful voice came through the TV speakers. “You move in with that girl?”

Shigaraki grunted in irritation. “No.” He paused and looked around the room. “I am at her place though.”

“Ooooh,” Tazer cooed playfully. “Taking things to the next level, huh? I knew you had it in you!”

“No, I am not,” Shigaraki said flatly. “My apartment building turned out to be infested with rats, so I moved out and am crashing here until I get a hotel room and a new apartment.”

Tazer burst out into laughter. “For real? Man, the weirdest shit happens to you!” He had absolutely no idea. The baby thing had come out of nowhere and he’d been shocked by that, but then drunken hookups with sketchy use of protection could lead to that, so he’d been understanding. He was very careful about that. No time for a baby and it cramped his style. The things Shigaraki knew about this idiot. “But it’s cool that she’s letting you and your baby crash there. And she games too? Hey, if you swear you’re not into her… Is she single? Because she sounds awesome.”

Shigaraki may have hit the buttons on the controller harder than necessary. “I don’t think she’s interested in dating right now.”

“What a shame,” Tazer sighed dramatically. “I haven’t been on a date in a hot minute. I’ve been pretty busy with work and stuff. You need to play up the ‘dad card’. I’m telling you: women love it when guys are dads. Use that baby to your advantage. It’s been like - what? - two years since you’ve got laid? You need some!”

“I’m not using my baby to get laid.” Besides, that was how he’d ended up here in the first place.

Tazer did not have the same qualms. “Use the baby!”

The match started, pitting them against an opposite team, but that would do nothing to deter his talking. Most of the time, talking only distracted players, but it seemed to help him out. Maybe it had something to do with focus. His constant chattering also drove other players crazy and into muting him and distracting them. It was a good tactic. Shigaraki could tune him out or also talk, so it didn’t faze him. The guy could talk endlessly, although he had stopped chattering as much as he did when they were kids.

Shigaraki grimaced when he was shot and had to run away to avoid getting taken out entirely. Playing with a baby in his lap wasn’t impossible, but it did make things a little awkward. “Ah, I need-”

“I got you, bro.” Tazer healed him in a flash and was then off. “How’s the babby anyway? She handling the move okay? I had to move when I was like four and I hated it.”

“I don’t think she cares much as long as there’s food and she’s being held.”

“Damn, what a mood. I feel that, girl.”

“That’s because you’re a baby.”

“Hey now! I’m a grown ass man. I was a cute baby though - a cute kid, really.”

“You’re probably just greasy and scrawny as hell.”

Tazer laughed, unbothered by the insult. By now he was probably used to it. Comments like that hadn’t even affected him when they first started playing together. It was partly why he made such a good teammate. “Nah, man, that’s you! I’m in hella good shape - have to be for my job. Trust me, these abs come at a cost and sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. I swear all my friends are like beasts and super fit and I’m still struggling at the gym. I was not built for this.”

“Then why do it?”

“Because I love it - even when I suffer for it.”

“How inspirational.”

“What can I say? I’m a walking fountain of inspiration.”

Another voice cut in: “Can you two shut up?”

Shigaraki immediately shot down the player who belonged to the voice and said a simple, “No,” before muting him and continuing on with the game. Tazer cackled. While other people were usually turned off with his brusque behavior at times, he never had been. According to him, he had a friend that was similar, so he was used to it. Plus, he thought it was funny. Once you got used to a person and knew their ins and outs, it made it easier to work together. And simply put, Tazer was a great teammate and player.

The doorknob to the front door jiggled, the sound of keys unlocking it almost distracting Shigaraki from the game, but then it was just Uraraka walking inside. She’d changed clothes, so she must’ve showered after working out. Who put on clean clothes after working out without showering?

She set her stuff down and kicked off her shoes. “I didn’t expect her to still be awake.”

“This thing? She never sleeps on time.”

Uraraka walked into the kitchen and then returned with a water. “Having fun?”

“A blast.” Shigaraki paused to concentrate on counter-taking a guy out. “We’re winning at least.”

“Oh hey hey! Is that her?” Tazer piped up excitedly. Shit, he hadn’t muted him, and the mic must’ve been strong enough to pick up her voice. He should’ve said something when he heard the door being unlocked, but he’d been in the middle of a tense fight and nearly died.

Shigaraki’s lips twitched, but he refrained from scowling. Not like it would do any good online. “Uh yeah, it is.”

Uraraka grinned and made her way over to the couch. Instead of sitting down on it, she leaned over and rested her forearms on the back of it above Yukiko. “You got online friends? How cute.”

“Hi, mystery girl!” Tazer greeted. “I’ve heard a lot about you! Well, not really, but it’s rare for this grouchy bastard to talk about anyone in his life, so you stood out.” Uraraka laughed, which he could not handle. Nope, he was going to mute Tazer. He could complain about it later, but that was it. Her being around Touya was bad enough, but this person was different. He’d known Shigaraki when he was a teenager. He’d been such an annoying little shit. “Oh, can she play? Can you play? You should play!”

“Yeah, I-” Uraraka stopped abruptly, her brow furrowing as she stared at the television screen. Without warning, she stood upright and walked around the couch to stand next to the TV, as if that might help her see better. The action was confusing enough to distract Shigaraki and get him killed, but he didn’t really care, not when her eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped. She rushed to jump on the couch next to Shigaraki, sitting with her legs folded underneath her, and pulled the mic away from his mouth towards hers. “Kaminari, is that you?”

For once in the many, many years that Shigaraki had known this particular player, Tazer was dead silent. His character went still on the screen, and he didn’t seem to notice when he was killed. “Uh...yeah...it is? Who’s-? Wait, you sound familiar. Do I know you? Like in real life?”

“Yeah, you do!” Uraraka exclaimed. “We were only in the same hero course together and I dated one of your closest friends for three years!”

“Holy fuck, Uraraka ?”

“Yes, Kaminari!”

Wait. Why did that name sound familiar? Shigaraki knew that name. He’d heard it from somewhere before.

“Whoa, so wait, you’re real-life friends with Strider? You’re the one that’s been helping him out with his kid and he’s totally got repressed feelings for?”

“Oi!” Shigaraki barked. What the hell kind of comment was that? He knew Tazer - no, Kamarini - didn’t have a filter for what came out of his mouth, but that was uncalled for as fuck.

“No shit! This is so wild!” Kaminari continued without missing a beat. “What a crazy coincidence. I was just thinking about you today. So how do you know Strider?”

Uraraka gawked at the screen. “How do you know Shigaraki?”

“Huh?”

“The person you’re playing with - it’s Shigaraki.”

“As in…”

Shigaraki sighed and rubbed his forehead. “The one and only.”

The game came to an end, their team having lost after both he and Tazer gave up on playing. Now he remembered how he knew the name - Kaminari was one of the other students from Class A with Midoriya and Uraraka. He was or at least had been friends with Bakugou. He was also a pro hero now after having graduated from UA.

“Whoa… That’s, uh…” Kaminari coughed. “Does Bakugou know you’re hanging around him?”

“Yes,” Uraraka said, surprising Shigaraki. She knew he knew? “Mina accidentally spilled it. I don’t care about that. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. This is my life.” Damn straight it was. That was what he’d told Bakugou when the explosive gremlin came into his store. “What I care about is the fact that you two have been gaming with each other - for a while, it sounds like - without even knowing each other’s identities! What the hell!”

Kaminari laughed weakly. “Weird, right? It’s weird, isn’t it, man?”

Uraraka pinched the bridge of her nose. “How long have you two been gaming with each other?”

“Er…”

“Over ten years,” Shigaraki admitted when Kaminari wouldn’t.

“Oh my god.” Leaning back on the couch, Uraraka pressed her hands together and held them in front of her lips. “You were chatting and gaming with Shigaraki regularly when he was a villain and you were a student at UA?” She took a deep breath. He could not fucking believe this. The whole time... “Kaminari, were you an unintentional leak?”

“No!” Kaminari exclaimed.

Shigaraki tossed the controller aside, the desire to play completely gone. “I didn’t even know he was a hero or went to UA! I thought he was just going to some super uppity high school.”

“So like when you said you were off the grid for a while, it was because you were in prison?”

“I literally said I was locked up.”

“I thought you were being metaphorical or some shit! You like to use a lot of metaphors when you talk - you know, because you had like a super strict dad that put a lot of pressure on you or- Oh. Oh, your dad.”

Shigaraki groaned and hid in his face in his hands. Yukiko laughed and tried to roll out of his lap, forcing him to jerk forward to catch her. It was not funny. Even Uraraka wasn’t laughing, silently sitting close to him while she took everything in. Kaminari had gone silent again. It was true that Shigaraki was often vague and evasive about his life, but he had to be. He never exactly lied, but just told things in a different way, building up a story for his online presence. He’d never referred to All for One or Kurogiri as his dad, but letting Kaminari believe it had made things easier.

Uraraka cleared her throat and peered at Shigaraki out of the corner of her eyes. “I...don’t know what to say...”

He was so done with this. The absurdity of his life was threatening to crush him. The entire time he was trying to find a way into UA and destroy hero society from the inside out, he had an in and didn’t even realize it. Hell, not even that, they’d built up a rapport since they were dumbass teens. Hell, since Kaminari was Uraraka’s age, he couldn’t have been more than eleven or twelve when they first started teaming up.

Every little detail that he knew about Kaminari from simply playing with him for years slowly pieced together to become a bigger picture. An obvious hero fan but not super big about it, his hectic schedule, all the references to school, internships, job. Internet friendships were strange. People could know intimate details about a person’s life and also be completely unaware of larger details.

Shigaraki had told him that he worked in a retail store, but he’d never specified what kind - he had a kid from a one night stand, but not how he’d acquired her - that he’d been raised by a manipulative bastard but not that said bastard was a supervillain. A simple “Yeah I’ve got a huge exam coming up so I won’t be on for a while” probably meant Kaminari was taking the Provisional Hero License Exam or doing some insane final exam at UA. Getting tied up at work meant he had to work overtime at his hero agency. Getting his ass kicked by his teachers literally meant getting his ass kicked by his teachers.

How stupid could he be?

“Well, this has certainly been enlightening,” a familiar, awful, terrible voice quipped from the speakers.

God. Fucking. Damnit. He hadn’t even noticed that Touya had gotten online. He very rarely did unless he was in a piss poor mood and wanted to ruin someone’s day. Half the time, he didn’t even use the mic so that only silence came from his end. Shigaraki was pretty sure he muted them half the time since he sometimes completely did the opposite of what he told him to do. Now, however, he sounded incredibly cheerful and pleased.

Shigaraki dropped his head back against the couch and let out a groan, which only made Touya laugh. “What the hell do you want?”

“Well, I was going to see if you all wanted to play a few more rounds, but then I came in on this delightful revelation.”

“Don’t tell me,” Kaminari said. “Someone also from the League?”

Touya cackled, and Shigaraki could hear the smirk in his voice. “I can’t believe I’ve been gaming with one of my little brother’s friends. He’s going to lose his shit.”

“Holy shit, Dabi! Todoroki is gonna kill me!” Kaminari exclaimed. “Who was the other guy? No, no, don’t tell me. I’m already in deep shit if Bakugou finds out.” He paused and then made a hysterical sound. Uraraka put a hand over her mouth. “Dude, we played like the night before the Camping Trip! What the hell were you doing gaming then?”

“I needed to blow off some steam,” Shigaraki muttered. “I was stressed out. The game took my mind off it.”

“We talked about it,” Kaminari continued in a flabbergasted voice.

“What?” Uraraka squeaked.

“Well, like, he didn’t call it a kidnapping.” Kaminari’s mic messed up as he moved around. Honestly, Shigaraki was surprised that he was still on and hadn’t bounced the second he realized what had happened, but then again, he hadn’t ended the voice chat either. “He said he’d been put in charge of hiring and it was a lot of responsibility. He was in the process of trying to recruit someone that could make a difference for their team.”

Touya sounded like he might actually choke and die on his end. “Hiring? You called that shit show hiring? We attacked a bunch of high school students and you called it hiring?”

“We were adding another member to our party!” Shigaraki shot back.

“That’s even worse!” Touya howled.

Kaminari made a strange whining sound. “Oh man, I even wished you good luck and told you that I hoped he joined your group. I figured your dad was trusting you with more responsibility. And when I didn’t hear from you for a while, I figured he had and you were swamped with work.”

“Well, we were.” If only the couch could swallow him whole. There was no way he could stay with Uraraka now. She’d probably want him out of the apartment - maybe even out of her life. He didn’t know why it felt like such a big deal, but everything felt sideways.

Even worse, Uraraka had gone quiet, holding her hands over her mouth. He couldn’t tell if she was upset or not. Mostly she looked flummoxed and unsure of what to think, but it was hard to tell when she was mostly silent. He peered at her, and she turned to connect eyes with him. Neither one of them moved or blinked. Normally, she was easy to read, but right now, he couldn’t get a handle on her at all. Anxiety made his stomach turn. Better than anger, which he might’ve felt had he been alone.

While Touya continued to poke fun at the situation and Kaminari denied giving away any sensitive information, Shigaraki put a hand over the mic so they wouldn’t be able to hear him talk. “I swear I didn’t know who he was. If I had, I admittedly would’ve tried to exploit it way more, but I didn’t.”

“It’s hard to believe since you two have known each other for so long, but…” Uraraka dropped her hands onto her thighs. “You didn’t know Touya’s identity for over a year and you were around each other almost every day.” She bit her lip as she considered her next words carefully. “I think I heard you two playing. Kaminari is the one who got me into gaming. We’d play in his dorm some nights or I’d watch him to learn. He’d play with a guy that he’d known for a while. He said… He said you were one of the reasons he applied to UA.”

Shigaraki ran his fingers through his hair. This was unreal. This couldn’t be happening. “I didn’t know he went to UA. He said he was thinking about applying to one of the top schools in Japan, but he didn’t know if he was smart enough for it.” He took a deep breath. He didn’t want to think about it, but his brain kept supplying him with more random conversations he and Tazer had had over the years. Everything made so much sense, and it didn’t at the same time. He’d been talking with a UA student the whole damn time… “I told him to go for it. The worst they could say was no. Not taking the shot would be a wasted opportunity.”

“Oh my god.” Uraraka stared at him. “You’re so inspiring.”

“This is so damn stupid.” Shigaraki picked up Yukiko and moved her so that she was standing on the ground and using the couch to keep herself up. She liked to do that, even if she didn’t go anywhere. She wrapped one hand around the leg of his pants while she put her other hand on Uraraka’s knee. “I cannot fucking believe it.”

“Your longest friend is Kaminari."

“No, no, don’t put that on me.”

“And your second is Touya.”

This couldn’t be happening. Shigaraki could not believe he had not only been gaming with one of the kids he’d probably tried to kill or came close to it indirectly thanks to another League member, but he had actively been friends with the guy. They’d spent a lot of hours talking late into the night when both of them should’ve been asleep over the most absolute bullshit. It could’ve been another game or a movie or the stress of responsibility and living up to people’s expectations or whatever.

And he’d never fucking known...

Uraraka gasped as if an idea struck her. “You’ve known each other since Kaminari was in middle school!” She leaned forward to grab the mic again, seemingly not noticing how close she was to him. “Kaminari, what was Shigaraki like when you first met him? He was a teenager!”

“That’s years of blackmail,” Touya declared. “Let’s hear how cringy and dorky he was.”

Shigaraki swiped the mic back from Uraraka. “Don’t you dare!”

Unfortunately for him, Kaminari was either incredibly brave, dumb, or did not give a single fuck whatsoever. “Well, he ranted a lot about people on online forums for anything from like games to books to heroes-”

That set Uraraka off, who sputtered into laughter all over again. “Just like Deku!”

Shigaraki slapped a hand over her mouth to stop her, but he could still hear her muffled laughs. “Stop it.” The tone in his voice was far too close to pleading for his taste, so he added a glare, but all she did was shake her head to let him know that it didn’t work. “You might not have accidentally betrayed UA, but you’re a goddamn traitor, Kaminari.”

“Hey! This is good for your image!” Kaminari replied defensively. How could this possibly help him in any way? It was humiliating on every level. His longest gaming companion was a hero. He’d been stuck with them for even longer than he knew. “Remember that time you ranted about Lord of the Rings for like two hours? I told you that I had a paper due on it in two days but I hadn’t read it, and I think you’d had like a few drinks and you just went off about it. That really helped me out. I just used what you said and wrote my paper. Present Mic liked it a lot.”

In his stunned state, Shigaraki didn’t even fight Uraraka when she grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from her mouth. “Truly an inspiration.”

“He also taught me how to play a bunch of games,” Kaminari continued. “I helped him out a bunch of times one night when we were both on the same team and just kinda clicked.” He no longer sounded shocked, but now he was confused. Shigaraki just wanted to die. “I thought it was cool that an older kid was helping me out, and he seemed, well, kinda by himself, so it worked out. We, uh, made a good team.”

“I think you tried to recruit the wrong hero student,” Touya supplied unhelpfully.

Shigaraki closed his eyes. “Touya?”

“Yeah?”

“Log off before I come over and strangle you with your own charger cable.”

“Too bad, asshole, I’m not home.”

“Where are you-?”

The echoing sound of a door closing interrupted him, and Touya said, “Ah, well, it’s been real, but I guess I’m gonna log off early. Have fun with your hero best friend.” He logged off before Shigaraki could say a word, coming and going like the tricky bastard he had been in the League when he ran on only his own time.

“Huh.” Kaminari cleared his throat. “This is… I feel like I need time to process this, but I don’t know what.” Shigaraki knew the feeling. He kept sorting through old conversations. He could even dig through their old chat conversations in his inbox. The more the dots connected, the more he was going to drive himself crazy. Yukiko bounced up and down on the ground and tugged on his pants. “I actually have to go too. I’m not just saying that, I swear! I’ve got, uh…”

“Hero work,” Shigaraki finished.

“Ha, yeah!” Kaminari blew out some air. “Listen, uh, I still think it’s cool that you’re raising your daughter on your own. And if Uraraka trusts you enough to hang around and help you out, then you must be good.” Yeah, maybe. Not that Uraraka’s stamp of approval meant a ton to him, but it was something to others. It gave weight to his trying to be better and change for the good. Even his parole officer liked her, being a fan of Uravity. “Uh, speaking of which, could you not tell Bakugou about this, Uraraka?”

“Like I just chat with him on the daily.” Uraraka blew a raspberry. “You’re good. Just don’t tell him Shigaraki is over at my place.”

“Deal. I’ll, er, catch you later then?” Kaminari jumped offline as quickly as possible, once again not giving Shigaraki the ability to say something back.

It left him feeling out of balance, but it wasn’t like he’d had anything to say. What could he possibly add? Sure, yeah, they’d game again like nothing had happened. Just two people who had known each other for years only to find out they really didn’t know each other. It was weird because Shigaraki knew he’d told Kaminari a lot of shit in the past that, while he’d been very vague about, was stuff he hadn’t told other people.

He didn’t know what to think about that. Even if they hadn’t known each other’s names - Shigaraki had always used an alias and Kaminari just stuck with his profile name - they knew a lot of shit about each other too. Kaminari’s insecurities that he wasn’t as smart as other people and how he overcompensated with his humor. His difficulty to connect with girls and his idiotic behavior around them. The side effects of his quirk. Shigaraki’s struggle to find what he wanted to do in life. All for One’s controlling behavior and how it trickled down through Kurogiri. His worries over not be able to be a proper boss.

All of that had been squashed in between nights of gaming. He’d been a pissy, scrawny ass teenager and Kaminari some annoying, energetic as fuck pre-teen when they started playing together. So much had happened since then, but that had always been consistent, almost comforting in that it never changed.

“You okay?” Uraraka asked as he logged out of the game and returned to the PlayStation's main screen.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You seem kinda off.” That was an understatement, but Uraraka didn’t push the matter. She reached down to pick up Yukiko and bounce her on her thighs. She loved to bounce in laps. Even before she could stand without someone holding her up, she enjoyed it, even if it was his stomach and not his legs. She didn’t seem to care whether or not he could breathe as long as she could jump around, which was why the bounce Sako gave him was a gift. All he could picture was rats bouncing in it while he was gone. “Wanna watch a movie to completely avoid what just happened?”

“Yes.” That sounded like the best idea ever. That was how he’d handled a lot of things until he figured out what to do without blowing up. He eventually got better at coping and thinking things through, but it was a process. He’d deal with this revelation later, preferably never.

Uraraka took the controller with one hand while he peeled off the headset and set it aside. “Anything you wanna watch in particular?”

“Something so embarrassingly bad that I forget this entire evening.” Shigaraki had great taste in films (Touya might disagree), but every now and then, he needed to watch something so trashy and shitty that he couldn’t think about everything else. It was the lowkey source of relief he could think of. It was better than destroying stuff and lashing out at his comrades. It was also better to do if there was someone he could complain about it.

“Well then,” Uraraka said, as she used the search to find a movie on her streaming service, “I’ve been saving this one for a wine night with the guys, but I think the occasion calls for it.”

Shigaraki only nodded in his response. Any distraction would be a welcomed one. Hopefully, Yukiko would go to sleep soon so he didn’t have to worry about her being up during any potentially scary scenes. He wasn’t sure how aware she was of what was on the television, but the older she got, the warier he became. He didn’t want her to have nightmares because of anything he watched. She sometimes cried in her sleep, which always scared the piss out of him. He’d feel like shit if he added to that stress.

The title alone of the movie Uraraka picked was enough to confirm it was going to be awful. Good. In two hours, he’d be completely distracted and able to fall asleep. Plus, since Uraraka had planned on watching it anyway, he didn’t feel bad. Not that he would’ve felt bad if she didn’t want to watch it. She seemed like she wanted the distraction too - just anything more absurd than what she’d found out.

At least no one had brought up the “repressed feelings” comment. Touya must not have been on yet to hear that. Shigaraki had to count his blessings where he could. He wasn’t on the street. Yukiko was happy. And he could have suffered even more humiliation. One thing was for sure: he had to find another place to stay. He couldn’t intrude on Uraraka’s space any longer, not after tonight. His ego couldn’t take it.

Chapter 25: Some things are harder with a baby

Notes:

Me: I'll wait to post this until Friday.
Me: I'll post this Thursday.
Me, 1 minute ago: Why am I waiting?

Chapter Text

Even though he knew Uraraka would be okay with it, Shigaraki couldn’t stay another night at her place. After finding out that he’d been gaming with one of her high school friends for longer than she’d known him, he needed to get out of there. He couldn’t explain why it was so embarrassing, but he needed some space. When he told her that he and Yukiko were going to crash at Touya’s that night, she didn’t even question him. He kind of felt like she expected it, but she didn’t say anything about it, which somehow made him feel worse.

On the other hand, Fuyumi was excited. It had only been three days since Yukiko had spent the night - and my god, did it feel so much longer - but she was really happy that Shigaraki was comfortable enough to rely on them for help. He didn’t want to tell her that he’d felt like he didn’t have much of a choice, but he was hard put to complain when she cooked an entire dinner and went out of her way to make him comfortable. The last time he’d stayed here, he had passed out on their couch out of exhaustion, but this time around, there were blankets and pillows.

Touya stared at the set-up in the living room. “It looks like we’re having a sleepover.”

“It’s kind of what it is,” Fuyumi replied sheepishly as she set out dinner on the table. She wiped her hands off on her shorts and then walked over to them. “Everyone talked about them at school, and I was so jealous. We had the perfect house for one, but it wasn’t allowed.”

“So you’re reliving it now in our thirties?”

Fuyumi smacked him on the arm. “Let me live a little, okay? You got to act out by being a villain!”

Touya flinched away from her. “You’re so fucking cold.”

She wasn’t wrong, so neither Shigaraki nor Touya argued with her.

Silly as it was, if she wanted to somewhat pretend like they were having a sleepover as adults, they wouldn’t say no. Shigaraki wasn’t about to turn down a delicious meal or say no to watching movies when it distracted him from the reality of his situation. Yukiko was content to do that as well, although he caught her saying something that sounded suspiciously like “Raka”. He couldn’t be for sure. At least it wasn’t “mom” or something like that. They rarely said the word around her, so it wasn’t likely that she’d learn it soon.

Touya cleaned up after dinner, which was a shock to the system. Shigaraki had expected Fuyumi to clean up since she had also cooked, but Touya did it without a word, which allowed Fuyumi to rest in the living room. Touya didn’t have to go into work until ten, which normally meant he slept, but he stayed up for her. It was...touching. Shigaraki had never seen Touya in such a domestic scenario. He’d kind of figured that he just mooched off his sister, but it was clear from the way they talked that there was an effortless ebb and flow between them.

Holy shit, Touya must have missed that while in the League. He’d gotten along with them in the end, but it was nothing like what he had with Fuyumi.

“What?” Fuyumi teased. “You thought Touya just lounged about and did nothing around here?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Shigaraki admitted as he bounced Yukiko in his lap. “That’s what he did with the League.”

Fuyumi actually laughed despite the mention of their villain days. “That’s what you let him do. If you keep on him, he’s actually very productive.”

Okay, it was true that Shigaraki had never exactly gotten onto Touya about being a more productive member of the League. He had a few times here and there, but for the most part, he liked to let his people do their own thing, which usually meant Toga and Twice did a lot of work while Touya fucked around and did part of it. He’d never really gotten onto him about roasting potential members of the League instead of actually recruiting them. Had he known that Touya would clean their hideouts, he might’ve actually said something.

It was easier to move to the floor once they turned on the movie. Yukiko was in too energetic of a mood to sit still during the film, and she kept trying to climb all over their laps, specifically Touya’s. Every time, Touya would shoosh and shove her away, but she kept going for him every time. Even after Shigaraki moved to the floor, she was determined to crawl over and bother him. Touya practically hissed at her, but she was undeterred, going so far as to burst into hysteric tears when he pulled her away for the fourth time.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Shigaraki snapped. “Just hold her.”

“I don’t want to hold her!” Touya snapped indignantly.

Fuyumi nudged him with her shoulder. “Just for a little until she calms down.”

Huffing in frustration, Touya relented to his sister’s whims and slid his arms under Yukiko’s to lift her into his lap. As soon as she was with him, Yukiko quieted down and settled in like it was the best place in the world. Shigaraki glared at her, and she stared back at him, their red eyes fighting one another. Oh, he knew that look, even if it was from a baby: I don’t care what you think. He hadn’t expected to be a recipient of that look so early in her life. He’d thought he had at least until she was three.

“See?” Fuyumi smiled. “It all worked out.”

“Ugh, don’t get used to this, wiggle worm,” Touya grumbled.

“She has a name,” Shigaraki snapped.

Touya returned his attention to the movie. “Never heard it.”

They watched the rest of the movie in silence except for a few comments. Shigaraki normally preferred it that way, but he kind of missed the way Uraraka would randomly ask questions or interject with dumb comments. Fuyumi was quiet the entire time after Yukiko piped down and Touya made a few dry statements here and there, but for the most part, they were rather...polite. He’d spent most of his youth watching movies on his own, so he either complained out loud the entire time or didn’t say anything at all. He didn’t know how to feel about their movie etiquette.

Yukiko’s thoughts on the matter? She passed out after five minutes of being held by Touya. Traitor.

After the movie, Fuyumi shuffled off to bed. She had to get up early for work. He could tell she felt guilty for going to bed, but he waved it away, and she disappeared into her room. The main menu kept replaying in the background of the dark room, leaving Touya and Shigaraki alone since Yukiko was also asleep. Taking a deep breath, Touya gently laid her down in the sleep nest on the floor and then sank back into the couch.

“Shouldn’t you be going to work?” Shigaraki asked.

Touya shrugged. “I called in tonight.”

“What?” Shigaraki sat up, alarmed and very much awake. “Why?”

“I didn’t want to put this on Fuyumi again, not with you here too.”

Shigaraki folded his arms. “Don’t trust me around her?”

“No, I know you’re okay with her.” Touya’s eyes remained on the television, a blank look in them. He’d had that look about him a lot when he was in the League. It usually meant he was thinking about something that he didn’t want to think about. Touya might be able to read him, but Shigaraki had learned to read him too, difficult as he was. “Don’t repeat shit about this, okay?”

Well, that was a strange response. “Okay…”

“You did a lot for me in the League. This is the most I’ve seen you struggle since then.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Even after I just found out I had a kid?”

“Even then, Uraraka found you that same night,” Touya said, still not looking at him. Was he embarrassed? Well, it was easy to feel when they were both used to living and doing things on their own. “I know what it’s like to not have a home. It’s...hard.”

“Yeah,” Shigaraki admitted, “it is.”

Touya pointed at him. “Do not get used to this shit. Fuyumi was all worried that you were gonna end up on the streets or something - as if you’d do that with Yukiko now.” He dropped his hand and tilted his head back, closing his eyes like he might fall asleep on the couch. He better not. That was where Shigaraki was supposed to sleep. “She’s good for you - Yukiko, I mean.” He snorted. “And Uraraka too. Who would’ve thought?” He opened one eye and grinned, which was never a good sign. “Oh, and we can’t forget your best friend.”

Shigaraki scowled. “Could you not for one fucking minute? You were doing so well.”

No, he could not control himself for longer than a minute. Touya let out a bark of laughter. “I can’t believe you were gaming buddies with a UA student the whole damn time!”

“He wasn’t a UA student the whole time,” Shigaraki muttered, glaring at him in the dark. If he woke up Yukiko with his laughter, he was going to pay.

“You helped inspire him to become a hero!” Touya snickered. “It’s so touching.”

“Whatever.”

Touya sighed and peered at him out of the corners of his eyes. Shigaraki hated being under such scrutiny, but it wasn’t like Touya was the brightest bulb in the box. They simply knew each other too well. It was easy to do when you saw the worst parts of a person almost daily. Even at their worst, they had also sometimes been at their best. Touya had found strength and confidence while with the League, and Shigaraki had found leadership skills and bravery. Under the League, they’d realized they weren’t alone.

Such mushy shit.

“You wanna get online?” Touya asked.

“No,” Shigaraki responded immediately. He pulled one of the receiving blankets out of his backpack and laid it over Yukiko. She was getting too big for it, but it was also the smallest blanket he could fit in the bag.

“Aw, c’mon, you keep looking at the system like it’s gonna do the work for you.” Touya gestured to the black box, which Shigaraki definitely wasn’t looking at. He kept his focus on Yukiko, who was sleeping peacefully. Maybe he should shove Touya off the couch and get some sleep too. “You worried your little buddy won’t be around anymore?”

No .”

Even if he was, it didn’t matter. Things would undoubtedly be weird for a while. Shigaraki had never personally tried to kill Kaminari at any point, but he was sure that Kaminari had been dragged into fights with the League before. Not to mention he was good friends with Bakugou, which made a lot more sense now that Shigaraki thought back on it. All those times he laughed and talked about his friend with the anger issues, the one who was unintentionally inspiring, and then his other friend whose mood he could never read.

I can’t get a read on this dude. He’s so mysterious!

Sounds like one of my coworkers. Maybe they’re related.

Lolol that would be crazy!

They had literally talked about Touya and Shouto being related before Shigaraki had even known that Dabi was actually a fucking Todoroki. Shigaraki wanted to die every time he thought about how half of their conversations made so much sense once he added in the UA student and hero factor. Hadn’t he also talked about how bummed out he was when two of his close friends broke up? He was a friendly guy - albeit a little immature and kinda gross when it came to girls while he was a teenager, which Shigaraki always harped on him about - so he hadn’t wanted to take any sides.

There was so much that Shigaraki knew, and new information and realizations kept coming to light the more he thought about it. No doubt Kaminari was going through the same thing, except instead of realizing he knew about hero gossip, he was finding out that he could’ve possibly stopped countless of villain attacks had he simply been more aware of who he was gaming with. He probably felt disgusted too.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Touya said. “Worrying about what others think of you.”

Shigaraki grunted. “I’m not worried about that.”

“Mmhm, and that’s why you asked if you could stay here instead of staying at Uraraka’s another night.” Touya stood up and stretched his arms above his head. He was so lanky that it was easy to think that he was tall, but he lacked Natsuo’s and his father’s height. He and Todoroki had ended up being the same height, although his younger brother had the obvious build of a hero while Touya still couldn’t pack on any muscle. He’d at least gained some weight since he no longer used his quirk to absurd levels. “I’m going to bed. Don’t bother Fuyumi if you need anything.”

“So I just bother you instead?” Shigaraki stood as well but only so he could drop back on the couch.

“Hell no. Suffer in silence out here like a normal emotionally-crippled person.”

Shaking his head, Shigaraki waved him off and leaned back on the couch as Touya disappeared into his room. Grabbing the remote, he turned off the movie and began to flip through the regular television channels. As much as he ought to sleep, he couldn’t do it just yet. Uraraka’s place had been comfier, but he’d needed some space. He wasn’t sure why. Had it been too comfortable? Was he making things difficult for himself on purpose? Probably.

Parenting was hard. But dealing with interpersonal relationships? Shigaraki didn’t want to think about it. He’d rather change a shitty diaper. That was easy.

*

How’s it going rooming with Touya again?

I think I’ve squandered the last bit of my pride. Yukiko has chosen him over me.

The betrayal is real.
Hotel?

The asshole is right: spending money when I need to save for a better apartment is a dumb idea.

I’ve got a thought, but you might not like it.

Shigaraki stared at his phone suspiciously. After crashing on Touya and Fuyumi’s couch for three days, he was starting to get a little desperate. It wasn’t bad, but he was starting to miss Uraraka’s pull-out couch, which was a thought he didn’t want to think about. Touya worked the next two nights, but he didn’t normally leave until after Fuyumi went to bed, so honestly, he spent most of his time there alone with Yukiko since he worked during the day. The most he had to deal with was a few snarky comments from Touya, but that wasn’t any different from what things were normally like.

But he hated relying on them in any way, especially Fuyumi. She had done far more for either of them than she should have. She’d wormed her way back into Touya’s life despite his stubborn, self-destructive refusal to be in theirs after his imprisonment. She had actually reached out to him after he got out first to check on him, if only because they had become slightly familiar after she used him to get to Touya. He knew for a fact that Touya wasn’t always honest with her in an attempt to protect her - and she knew that too.

He wasn’t as slick as he thought. Touya was a great liar, but he had a weak spot.

Shigaraki peered down at Yukiko, who was repeatedly crouching and standing up while holding onto his pants. He hadn’t really understood it before, but he could now. What wouldn’t he do to protect her - to keep her from living anything close to the same life as him? The thought of something happening to her - of her being taken hold of by someone like All for One or even his old self - made him sick.

He had to do better. He had to be better. He couldn’t keep doing shit like this. He wasn’t a lowlife anymore, not that he’d ever considered himself one before.

What is it? he finally texted Uraraka back.

You should text Deku.

Shigaraki almost fell into a coughing fit. Had she lost her damn mind? He was already in an awkward place with Midoriya because he’d picked him up when he was drunk. Why the hell would I do that?

You want space, don’t you? And not to be around other people?
He’s got a small apartment for when he’s in town, but he’s honestly not around much since he works a lot overseas and throughout Japan. I stayed there after Katsuki and I broke up until I found a place and saw him like once.

I’m not asking him for help.

I could ask him for you?

That’s even worse!

It’s ok. I knew you wouldn’t like it. But it was a thought since he’s leaving tomorrow for up north and won’t be back for a while.

The idea of staying in an apartment without feeling like he was intruding on someone else would be nice. Even if Touya left for work and Fuyumi went to bed early, he couldn’t help but feel like he was in someone’s space and was keeping them from being, well, themselves. Touya had a habit of acting like someone different depending on who was around. Shigaraki had the distinct thought that he was acting a little stiffer with Fuyumi while he was here, if only because they were bickering. Granted, they bickered a lot, but she was narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him whenever he proved to be difficult.

If Touya didn’t want Shigaraki to know that Fuyumi was in charge here, it was a little too late.

Even worse, he knew that Midoriya would agree to it. That little shit was too good. He was genuinely and disgustingly a good person along with being a good hero. It somehow made it both harder and easier to dislike him. For the longest time, he thought that Midoriya was just like All Might. It was true that they had a lot of similarities, quirks notwithstanding, but there was just a little more to Midoriya.

Like Uraraka, he didn’t take any shit. All Might still felt like he had to apologize for not being there. He couldn’t. What had happened had happened. Angry, hurt, and resentful as he’d been of All Might failing him, those perceptions had been based on lies and manipulation. Granted, he had come up with it on his own, but All for One had pushed him in that direction on purpose so it felt like his own conclusion. Midoriya didn’t feel like he owed Shigaraki anything, even if, in truth, All Might didn’t either. When Shigaraki pushed, he pushed right back.

I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?

If you’re uncomfortable asking, then don’t.

It’s not that I don’t like staying here. It’s fine. Fuyumi has been nothing but nice and helpful. Touya’s an ass, but he’s honestly not that bad.

Wow. Not that bad. What an upgrade.

Can it.
I feel like a burden. I fucking hate that.

You’re not.

I can afford a hotel room, but every time I bring it up, both of them get this look on their face. Even Touya. He makes jokes about me owing him one, but it doesn’t feel as genuine as before.

Have you looked at a few places?

Not looked but called. Gonna go look this weekend.
I’m able to get out of my lease. Argued that one with my landlord.
I just want to get my shit and move somewhere better for Yukiko.

Triple text. You’re seriously stressed.

Ugh, the fact that she called it out said something. Shigaraki ran his fingers through his hair. He was stressed. A part of it probably had to do with not having his own space. Yukiko still wanted to sleep with him, but Sako and Midoriya had been right about her sleeping better when he wasn’t in the same room. He just hadn’t picked up on it because it was normally during the day when she napped. She needed her space just as much as he did. Neither one of them were sleeping well while crashing on couches.

I feel like this is something you want or need to do on your own so I won’t push the matter.
Just know the option is there.

He noticed that she didn’t offer her place again. It was hard to say what that meant, if it meant anything. Then again, he had abruptly decided to stay with Touya and Fuyumi, so maybe she simply assumed he was uncomfortable. He also hadn’t gotten online to game since then either. It was weird. Everything was so fucking weird. Being a father was weird. Yukiko repeatedly said “dada” as she bounced up and down, happy as could be, and all he could think about was how he was failing her right now.

Shigaraki closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled up Midoriya’s contact information. He waffled on it for a solid five minutes before texting, How serious are you about helping out with Yukiko?

As expected, Midoriya responded quickly: What do you need?

No “yes” or “maybe” or “no”. What do you need? Shigaraki swallowed. He hated this. He hated this with every fiber of his being, but he needed this space. Uraraka had used Midoriya’s place while looking for a new apartment. She must have been in one of the worst states of her life, completely alone, staying in a friend’s apartment while he was off being the Number One Hero. How that must have pained Midoriya to not be able to be there for her more.

Did Uraraka tell you what happened with my apartment?

No. It’s your business. What’s up?

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to long ass conversation and night. It turned out he had a little bit of pride left that he could lose.

*

The first thing Shigaraki said when he begrudgingly arrived at Midoriya’s apartment was predictably, “You cannot tell All Might about this.”

Midoriya laughed good-naturedly. “I won’t.”

“I’m serious!” Shigaraki hadn’t touched the money in the fund All Might had set up since that first night he went to the store with Uraraka. It was a matter of pride at this point, not that it counted for much anymore. He could’ve used it to stay at a hotel until he was able to find a place and move out of his old shithole of an apartment, but that would have shaken his pride too. Either way, he would’ve been forced to accept help in some fashion.

So far, his usual route meant accepting any help that wasn’t from All Might, and he’d only broken it…

Shigaraki almost growled just thinking about it. He’d broken that rule far too many times since Yukiko had come into his life. He couldn’t do it again. Accepting help from his replacement did not count.

“And I’m serious too,” Midoriya counted, a smile still on his face. “I won’t. I promise.” He held out his hand, which Shigaraki eyed suspiciously and then shook, careful to keep his thumb up. Midoriya didn’t even hesitate. Back in the day, he would’ve jumped back from Shigaraki’s hand and now he was asking for it. Dumbass. “I’m just glad I could help in some way.” Again , but neither one of them said that. “And you contacted me on your own.”

“Uraraka didn’t warn you?” Shigaraki asked as he dropped his stuff in the living room. He had been terrified that it would be decked out in hero (and All Might) merch, but the place was surprisingly quaint. It was clean, but it had the distinct feel of not being lived in much. Midoriya wasn’t home more often than not, so it made sense. It felt more like a hotel than a home.

Midoriya shook his head. “No, she probably didn’t want you to feel like we were talking about you or to influence my decision in any way.”

Well, that was nice of her. She was really going out of her way to give him his privacy. It was probably because she felt guilty. She’d apologized for outing both him and Kaminari online, fiddling with the hem of her sweater, but he hadn’t been mad at her for that much. It would’ve come out one way or another since he was in her life.

“Yeah, I guess,” Shigaraki muttered.

“After all, I can say no to you, but how could I say no to her?” Midoriya joked - and yet, at the same time, he wasn’t. There really wasn’t any arguing with her. She backed down if she sensed discomfort or genuine anger, but she knew how to deal with his particular brand of stubborn. It must have come with practice after dating Bakugou for so long and also being best friends with Midoriya, two of the most difficult people on the planet. “In truth, I would’ve agreed to help out either way. How can I say no to such a good baby?”

The switch in Midoriya was almost as fast as his quirk, which made Shigaraki groan in disgust. Without even being asked, he held out Yukiko, who Midoriya took with glee. To his even more utter disgust, Yukiko went to him without complaint. Maybe she wasn’t as excited as she got whenever she saw Uraraka (or Touya, which was even more disgruntling), but she didn’t struggle like she did whenever he took her to daycare. He spent weeks wondering if maybe the daycare workers were mean to her, but then he saw other kids do the same.

“She’s getting so big!” Midoriya exclaimed excitedly. “Are you crawling around now?” Yukiko made a few noises that almost sounded like she was trying to talk back. Well, either that or take a shit. It was one of the two, and he kind of hoped it was the latter. “She looks very healthy.”

“Of course she is,” Shigaraki snapped, half-tempted to take her back. “What do you think I do? Starve her?”

Midoriya rolled his eyes. “No, I don’t think that.” Right. Of course he didn’t. Shigaraki folded his arms and tried not to simmer, but it was difficult. He didn’t know why he was so defensive. Maybe because Midoriya knew that he’d been raising his child in a rat-infested apartment building and technically homeless. If someone got it in their heads that this was proof that he couldn’t take care of her, he’d be pissed. “I saw those pictures of when you went to dinner with Shouto’s family. She was so small back then, probably from, well…”

Yeah, from neglect. He didn’t have to say it. Himura hadn’t won any mother of the year awards. The pediatrician had been nervous about Yukiko’s weight and development since the first few months were so crucial. But she had caught up. She was doing well and was in the 60th percentile for weight and height. She was good.

“And she’s happy,” Midoriya added as he lifted her up and down in the air. She loved that, making all sorts of excited noises and smiles. Damn, he made it look easy. Stupid hero muscles. “It’s really obvious.”

Shigaraki peered at her sideways. “You think?”

“Yeah, it is.” Midoriya held her back out for him to take, perhaps sensing his anxiety. No, not anxiety - it was just more like tension. He always got like that when anyone but Uraraka held her. “You’re probably worried about how this is affecting her and if you’re doing an okay job. I know my mom stressed about whether she was enough for me all the time, even if she didn’t admit it and I wasn’t aware of it for years. Honestly though, she’s healthy, happy, growing, and it’s even more obvious that she’s comfortable around you. You’re doing good.”

He had neither needed nor wanted validation of his parenting skills from Izuku Midoriya, but… For some reason, Shigaraki felt like he could breathe a little easier. Midoriya was outside of the situation. He didn’t see Yukiko often like Uraraka, Fuyumi, or Touya. They could tell him all they wanted that he was doing good, but they were biased in some fashion. Midoriya had no reason to spare his feelings (not that Touya ever did), and he was an outsider looking in. He had a fresh perspective and was good at judging things.

And he’d determined that Shigaraki was doing a good job at raising Yukiko, even with the current situation at hand.

“Everything is pretty self-explanatory,” Midroiya said as he grabbed a suitcase in the hallway. “You’ll have to get your food as I don’t really shop until I come back into town. Bedroom on the right, bathroom on the left. They built this place kind of funny, but I got it at a good price.”

“Aren’t you the Number One Hero?” Shigaraki asked blandly. “Don’t you have a lot of money?”

“I guess?” Midoriya sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I usually donate most of it since I don’t have an actual agency. It’s kind of weird.”

Shigaraki shook his head. “You’re…” He set Yukiko down on the couch. Perfect. Midoriya was fucking perfect. It was obnoxious as hell. “I can’t deal with you sometimes.”

“It was Uraraka’s suggestion,” Midoriya pointed out. Of course it was. She knew what it was like to go without, and she would know that any help money-wise was a good thing. How many criminals and villains popped up simply because it felt like it was the only way they could survive? Had Uraraka not been so attached to the hero world or her parents so loving, there was a chance she could’ve gone the other way.

What a stupid thought. She’d be a terrible villain. She cares too much.

Midoriya pointed a finger at him. “Don’t disintegrate anything. You turn it to ashes; you buy it.”

Shigaraki dropped onto the couch next to Yukiko, who happily bounced back into his lap. “I’m gonna turn this whole place into dust.”

“Hm, I don’t think you’d do that to her,” Midoriya quipped. Shigaraki narrowed his eyes but said nothing. No, he wouldn’t do anything that would put Yukiko in a bad position. Himura had done enough damage as it was. “Text me if you need anything, but I’ll probably be dark for the next fifteen hours, so…”

“I’ll text Uraraka.” He wasn’t going to text anyone. He literally couldn’t handle asking for any more help right now. He might actually implode if he did. Judging by the way Midoriya eyed him and gave a goofy salute, he knew it too, but he said nothing else as he left.

The moment Midoriya shut the door, Shigaraki sank further into the couch and closed his eyes. Alone. Besides Yukiko - who honestly didn’t count since she couldn’t hold a conversation - he was alone for the first time in almost a week. He didn’t have to worry about waking Fuyumi up or Touya banging on the bathroom door. He didn’t have to think about Uraraka asleep in the other room or her admittedly bad singing in the shower. He didn’t have to feel like he was eating someone out of house and home, even though Fuyumi practically dumped food on his plate and made sure he ate it.

Even if he did feel weird about being in Midoriya’s apartment, he wasn’t here. He was going to be miles and miles away and wouldn’t be back for a while. He could search for a new place, play some games, read a book, maybe even cook actual dinner. And he wouldn’t have to worry about being in anyone’s space. If the bed was nice enough, he might even see if Yukiko slept better in a separate room. The possibilities felt endless and vast.

Shigaraki breathed and opened his eyes. Alone - but not at the same time. He hadn’t felt like this in a while, not since his League days when he knew the others had his back without any question. It was a strange thought.

Chapter 26: life has a way of throwing you curve balls

Notes:

Sometimes, you make plans for a chapter and they work out. Other times, an idea takes the wheel, and you're thrown in the back and forced to watch as you take a detour. My original plans for this chapter will be in the next. I just... I missed Uraraka. 'But she's in like every chapter, Lanni.' I MISSED HER. Also, I may have accidentally played myself, but this is life. I should be used to that by now.

Chapter Text

Having Shigaraki stay at her place had been weird for multiple reasons, but not the ones Uraraka had originally anticipated when she made him the offer. True, she thought about the fact that he’d been a villain for years with a very specific grudge towards her best friend, and yes, she remembered how scared of him she used to be as a teenager, but that hadn’t really been the issue, which was odd in itself. She had seen him in the domestic capacity with Yukiko, but it was somehow surreal in a different setting, specifically her place. How the hell was she supposed to react to the image of Yukiko crawling around her living room with baby toys strewn everywhere while Shigaraki eyed her and played video games at the same time?

The scene was so stupidly domestic from the start that first night - the two of them taking turns handling Yukiko like it was natural, normal, them - that she honestly didn’t know what to think.

It had been Shigaraki’s mention of Bakugou that had caused her mood to spiral, one which she’d tried hard to work out at the gym the next day. She had already felt kind of off from her work in China, the bridge collapse during the second earthquake, and the time off. He hadn’t meant to tack that on too, but sometimes, shit like that hit her in waves, particularly when she was vulnerable. It should’ve made her leery to think that she’d let herself feel vulnerable around Shigaraki, but he couldn’t possibly be in a more fragile position.

While she genuinely was over Bakugou and no longer felt upset about how things had happened, he had been an important part of her life. She couldn’t erase him completely, no matter how hard she avoided him or talking about him in conversation. Out of sight, out of mind? It was easier to do when she was hanging out with Shigaraki and Yukiko. Like Deku and Bakugou, he had such a strong personality even when he was subdued. He couldn’t fly off the handle while on parole, after all.

And then Shigaraki brought up her old relationship and it hit her: had they managed to work things out or come to an agreement about having kids, this likely would’ve been them. Upon doing some mental math after going to bed that first night, she figured out that Yukiko had been conceived not long after she and Bakugou officially ended things. Instead of Shigaraki asleep in the other room with his kid, it could’ve been Bakugou. It wasn’t, and she was strangely glad that it wasn’t, but it was still an odd thought.

One that ended with her making a huge mistake: scrolling on social media and hero gossip sites, although she’d told Shigaraki that she stayed up watching TV on her phone. That never ended particularly well for her, even if she wasn’t the subject. She heard about Bakugou mostly through Mina, Sero, and Kaminari, so she was up-to-date on his life whether she wanted to be or not, just as she was sure that he couldn’t entirely avoid news about her. He and Kirishima often popped up in pictures on her twitter and facebook timelines. They had the same mutual friends. It was unavoidable unless she blocked him entirely, and she didn’t want to be that petty. It was exhausting.

Plus, she was happy that he was happy. Once upon a time, they had been too - and then they weren’t. She couldn’t pinpoint an exact moment when things started to change, but it happened. People fell out of love and some didn’t even know why. She’d always love him in her own way and didn’t begrudge him for finding happiness with someone else before her, not like so many gossip magazines suggested. However, that didn’t mean she fell into fits or down moods whenever she watched lives from the outside. All those pictures she saw him in - she used to be in those pictures too. It used to hurt a lot more than it did now, but seeing them still made her feel weird.

It shouldn’t matter. She had close friends. She did fun things. She was a great hero.

Uraraka was happy - like seriously, genuinely happy. She was feeling better about herself every day. Yeah, things were kinda out there right now, but life was like that sometimes. It had definitely taken a sharp turn when she saw Shigaraki on the street with Yukiko that first night and decided to help him. Out of all the things in the world to happen to her, she couldn’t have anticipated it would end up like this.

After all, technically speaking, Shigaraki was the first guy she’d had stay over at her place since the breakup, a fact that Mina was all too pleased to bring up. Sometimes, she wished that she could block her friends too. Besides the wild realization that Kaminari was his gaming buddy best friend (which she still couldn’t wrap her mind around, seeing as how she’d been in the room before while the two of them played), nothing had happened. It wasn’t nearly as interesting as Mina made it out to be. He was only there for two nights, the first of which he went to bed almost immediately, before declaring that he was staying at Touya’s the next day.

She wasn’t insulted. He hated relying on someone for too long and he needed his space, especially after the whole Kaminari revelation. Did she stop to stare at her empty living room when she came home from her first day back at work? Maybe. But then, entirely unprompted, Shigaraki sent her a video of Yukiko crawling around in what looked like an attempt to chase Touya with the caption, My child is a monster and I don’t know whether to be proud or frustrated , and she laughed.

Yeah, things were weird, but she was still happy.

Plus, Shigaraki had even talked with Deku and was staying at his apartment. While he might’ve griped and complained about it, she could also tell that he felt a lot better now that he had a place to himself. He must have been so stressed out being forced to share a space with other people. He’d done it before but on his own terms. They had always been his hideouts or his apartment. He felt like an invader, sticking out like a sore thumb in their private lives and seeing things and witnessing interactions he wasn’t meant to see.

While Deku’s place was only a little better, there was no one for him to bump into, and Deku hadn’t the time to decorate it more personally, which was why she had considered it in the first place. After all, it was the perfect space for her after the breakup. She’d needed someplace where she felt safe but not a burden. Deku was so good about helping people feel that way, even when it was his life’s mission to save people in the first place.

Still, she knew that it wouldn’t last for long. Shigaraki needed his own space. It would help him with whatever issues he had with himself. While he had been a very capable leader of a villain turned vigilante organization, he didn’t have the same blooming confidence with fatherhood even after all these months. Yukiko was obviously flourishing, happy, and growing so well, but she saw the way he eyed her sometimes, like he was questioning every little thing he’d done since claiming her and refusing to let go. She was his , but he still wondered if maybe she would be better off if she was with someone else. Getting his own place, one better than the last, would solidify that he was on the right path.

Which was why she’d agreed to help him apartment hunt over the weekend. If there was one thing she knew she was good at besides being a hero, it was finding a deal. Not many high school students could say they lived on their own, although it had only been for a short period of time and she’d been broke as a joke.

After eating lunch at Deku’s place, Uraraka flipped through Shigaraki’s phone to look at the places he’d marked down to check. Most of them were pretty decent - he had a shrewd eye - but there were some that she flat out deleted, sometimes because she’d looked at an apartment there and it hadn’t been good and once because the landlord was under investigation for his ties with a villain group. It paid to be in the know about such things. The last thing Shigaraki needed was to live in a nice place being run by a suspected villain.

“Damn, I liked that one too,” Shigaraki grumbled next to her on the couch.

“There’s probably a reason why it looks so nice with such cheap rent,” Uraraka sighed. She had liked it too before catching the address. What a disappointment. She handed him his phone back. “Okay, I’d say these five are the most promising. We could probably check them out today if we leave now.”

Shigaraki arched an eyebrow. “We?”

“I could stay here with Yukiko?” Uraraka offered.

After considering it for a moment, Shigaraki said, “No, I’d rather you come. Two sets of eyes are better than one.” He stood and walked away to grab his jacket and toss hers over to her. “It’s...good to have a second opinion.”

And so off they went - Yukiko bundled up in the stroller with the baby carrier shoved underneath since she sometimes preferred to be held and Shigaraki grumbling about having to use the train so much.

“You could always learn to drive and get a car,” Uraraka pointed out. She didn’t have one herself, but she didn’t need one now that she lived so close to work and had never minded public transportation until she had been forced to commute to work. As annoying as they were, it might make his life a bit easier with Yukiko around.

Shigaraki peered at her strangely out of the corners of his eyes. She didn’t know what she said to deserve a look like that, but she didn’t question him when he looked away and muttered, “Maybe.”

She fought the urge to sigh. Difficult and cryptic as usual. Whatever. She wouldn’t push it.

The first two places on the list weren’t that far from each other. Uraraka had a talent when it came to apartment hunting. She’d helped most of her friends find somewhere to live upon graduating from UA. Deku had been particularly helpless. Of course, some of them went back to living at home while they got their feet wet with actual hero work, but many of her classmates joined agencies that weren’t in the same city and had to move out. She’d lived at home for two months before the commute became too much. As long as Shigaraki didn’t turn out to be insanely picky, it should be easy.

Well, that and if the landlords didn’t recognize him immediately as the former leader of the League. She had a bad feeling that more than a few people would turn down his application on the spot. It might’ve been part of the reason why she offered to go with him. He had a mark against him on his record because of his time in prison, but hopefully a stamp of approval from a hero would help out. She wasn’t that big of a name, but she was recognizable, especially after the earthquakes. It was better than nothing. Someone like Deku or All Might would’ve been much better, but she would do what she could.

The first place they checked out was good, but Uraraka had reservations about it once they stepped inside. The pictures had definitely made it look better than it was. Shigaraki acted strangely too. He had to be nicer, but he clearly wasn’t a fan. When the man showing them around reached out to shake his hand, he didn’t take his hand out of his pocket at first. He was reserved but not moody. After all, he had to be on his best behavior in order to look good. 

While he talked with the owner of the building, she wandered around the apartment. Two bedrooms, the main one of which was kind of small, an awkwardly placed bathroom, a large living room area. It wasn’t bad, but Shigaraki could do better, especially for the monthly price they were asking. Speaking of which…

Uraraka poked her head out of the second bedroom. “Does the listed rent include utilities?”

The landlord fumbled. “Ah, no, it doesn’t, but-”

“Oh, this is overpriced then,” Uraraka said decisively as she strode out of the room. She could understand the price if it did. He’d be able to afford it most likely if he got that promotion he was talking about, but it didn’t sit right with her.

Shigaraki didn’t even question it. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.”

“Thank you for your time,” Uraraka said politely, if only because she knew Shigaraki wouldn’t. He was already out of the place and heading for the elevator. The landlord blinked and shook her hand, and then she jogged to catch up with him. “You didn’t like it.”

“Not really.” Shigaraki nudged the stroller into the elevator and jabbed the first-floor button. “That guy seemed shady too. I got a weird vibe from him.”

“I’m pretty sure you feel that way about everyone,” Uraraka pointed out as she leaned back against the wall. He had even felt that way about her - maybe still did. Granted, it made sense for him to be suspicious of her when she offered to help him out. It was out of the blue and the last they’d seen each other hadn’t been on the best of terms. He had looked so beaten down during his trial, so thoroughly done with the world and everything in it. He’d come close to looking like that again a few times these past five months, but he wasn’t there yet.

She hoped he never looked like that again.

Yukiko fell asleep on the way to the second apartment. Honestly, Uraraka was surprised she last this long, but she was starting to stay up longer throughout the day, going from two to one nap. At least it made it easier to apartment hunt since there were other things that got in their way. Despite the fact that Shigaraki was going by his legal, on paper name today like he did at his job, she could tell the guy from the second apartment building recognized who he truly was when he narrowed his eyes and didn’t hold out his hand.

“Tenko Shimura, huh?”

Judging by the way Shigaraki eyed him, he could tell too. Nope, this wasn’t going to work out, which sucked since this was a good place and had the right price. Uraraka sighed as she ran a hand over Yukiko’s head. Not even having a pro hero could help him out here.

“Sorry,” the guy said, not apologetic in the slightest, “we’ve got a no villain policy here.”

“Yeah, because people list ‘villain’ as their occupation on the apartment application,” Shigaraki responded dryly. As much as Uraraka wanted to tell the guy off, she kept her mouth shut when Shigaraki raised a hand slightly. He could handle this. He didn’t need her to step in. It was probably for the best. Former villain or not, the question could get brought up when he had to state on the form that he had been convicted of a felony. “Let’s go.”

Uraraka turned on her heels to follow him, only to stop when the guy called out, “Why’s a nice girl like you with trash like that?”

She glanced back at him and smiled sharply. “Who says I’m nice?”

Shigaraki snorted and shook his head while the guy was too flabbergasted to respond. She stomped out of the place before he could figure one out, a dark cloud hanging over her. It was no wonder Shigaraki had lived in such a place. Fresh out of prison, it was likely all he could get. Where had he stayed before then? A motel? A halfway house? She didn’t know and a part of her was too wary to ask. It wasn’t like villains and felons lived glamorous lives. Being rejected had been the norm for him before he became a villain and it was still the norm for him now after.

“‘Who says I’m nice’,” Shigaraki mocked. “You’re literally the nicest person I know, aside from Fuyumi.”

Uraraka made a face. “I can be mean!”

“Says the woman who saw a guy who once tried to kill her on the street struggling with a baby and decided to go to the store with him to buy baby supplies.”

“Okay, I’m a nice person,” Uraraka agreed, “but I can be mean too if the situation calls for it.”

After considering it for a moment, Shigaraki conceded, “You’re not too pleasant to current villains. I’ve seen you fight. You admittedly can get brutal, so I guess you have your moments.”

She certainly hadn’t been nice to him when he was a villain or anyone else in the League. She’d learned early on that holding back would only get her killed. Yeah, sometimes she was a little too nice for her own good, but she would also throw down with anyone that pushed her or threatened people, even if it was just a landlord being a dick to someone trying to turn his life around and take care of his child.

“That guy didn’t have to be such an asshole about things,” Uraraka muttered.

“That’s how it usually is,” Shigaraki told her. “Either that or I get the door slammed on me right away. People aren’t too keen about reformed villains being around them.” It didn’t seem to bother him, but maybe he was just used to it. He was dismissive of the whole thing, but she didn’t like it at all. “I’ve done a lot of awful shit. It’s only natural that most people are gonna react with either anger or fear.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s stupid. People shouldn’t be so rude to someone who can kill with just a touch. I don’t care if they insult me about being a villain, but acting like a bastard to me? Yeah, okay, really smart.”

“I guess people aren’t as afraid of you anymore,” Uraraka said.

Shigaraki grunted irritably but didn’t say anything. She saw the look in his eyes and could tell what he was thinking: They should be. Maybe. While she hadn’t seen him fight or get into a dispute or even use his quirk, she remembered how dangerous he could be - how strong he was. His quirk was no joke. He had to be careful with it, particularly these days since he was under such scrutiny. Still, time hadn’t erased what he’d done, even if it was hard to picture him as the man who could bring down a building with a single touch as the same one who held his daughter so carefully and protectively.

Best not to think about it too much. Whenever she did, she just felt confused. He’d let her facetime Yukiko out of the blue, took in a child when he had no idea what he was doing, helped Kaminari throughout the years. He had also killed people. And apparently he didn’t like rats - and was mildly afraid of them. She was pretty sure he hated rats more than heroes at this point.

The third place was a little further from his work than he would’ve liked, but it was much nicer than the first two. Uraraka liked it immediately. There was a lot of natural light, the flooring was better, it was small but felt spacious because of the more open concept, which even gave the kitchen the appearance of having more space. Even Shigaraki seemed interested. Yukiko woke up while Shigaraki was talking to the lady who ran the place, so Uraraka plucked her out of the stroller and walked around the apartment with her.

“See this one?” Uraraka pointed into the smaller second bedroom. “This would be your room. Yeah, you’re gonna get a room all to yourself. How exciting, huh?”

The landlady gestured to the main bedroom. “There’s plenty of closet space too, so there shouldn’t be a problem with storage with all your things.” She beamed at them and clasped her hands together. “This is a really good place for families and couples.”

Shigaraki choked. “We’re not-”

“I’m-” Uraraka blushed furiously. She looked at him, but he turned away, leaving her to fend for herself. Honestly, while she was holding his baby? How rude. “We’re not married.”

“Oh.” The woman’s smile faltered only a little. “My apologies. I only assumed because of your child-”

“She’s not mine!” Uraraka exclaimed frantically. “I meant- We’re not together. We’re, um-” Hadn’t they gone through this once already? This time, Shigaraki did meet her eyes when she searched for him. There was a rather thoughtful, considering look in them. He was leaving it up to her how to define them. “We’re friends. I’m just here to help. Moral support - you know, that kind of thing.”

Yes, that was what they were. They were friends - two people who helped each other out, hung out together, and talked often. When he didn’t make a noise or shake his head to disagree with her, she smiled a little. It shouldn’t feel like such a big step to get there, but it did. Shigaraki didn’t even like to admit that he and Touya were friends, so the fact that he didn’t contradict her now said something.

“That’s kind of you,” the lady said. Uraraka shrugged, blush still tinting her cheeks. She hadn’t really thought about it being kind. It was the natural thing to do when he was so stressed over looking for places. She could see why since the last guy had barely let them get through the door before turning him down. “So it’s just going to be you and the baby then?”

“Yeah,” Shigaraki replied. The woman had been careful not to bring up the topic of the mother and neither did he. She must have caught on that Yukiko’s real mother was no longer in the picture. Smart woman for having made such a ridiculous assumption. She and Shigaraki looked nothing like a couple. That would be crazy. “Is that a problem?”

The woman shook her head. “No, no, not at all.”

Yukiko wiggled in Uraraka’s arms, signaling that she wanted to crawl. It was definitely a lot cleaner than his old place, but she didn’t want to do that just yet. Instead, she bent over and held Yukiko by her hands so that she was standing up. While Shigaraki discussed more details with the woman, Uraraka awkwardly walked around the apartment with Yukiko, who did her best to walk. She lifted her legs needlessly high and walked on her tiptoes, which couldn’t make walking easier, but she laughed in delight.

Uraraka glanced at Shigaraki, who was watching them while the woman leafed through a folder of paperwork. “I think this place gets the seal of Yukiko approval.”

He had his arms folded across his chest and rolled his eyes, but… It wasn’t exactly a rude gesture. It was more playful than anything else. Which was strange, but she didn’t feel like getting into that now. Instead, she went back to walking around with Yukiko, cheerfully encouraging her with every step she took. Everyone was so quick for babies to learn new things, but once they did grow up, it was hard to let them go. Uraraka could still remember how tiny she’d been at three months - the way she slept in the cart at the store.

Look at her now with her fluff of brown hair and vibrant red eyes and a big smile with a few teeth poking out. Uraraka couldn’t remember seeing anything so beautiful.

*

Uraraka’s phone pinged from a text message alert a second before she heard shouting. In a matter of a minute, the text was all but forgotten as she engaged in taking down three villains in a robbery gone bad. Things like that tended to consume her completely, especially when there were civilians involved. She jumped into crisis mode immediately, switching from a casual patrol to serious at the drop of a hat. Luckily the sidekick with her didn’t complain about and the hero student from UA was a good listener.

Things would’ve been taken care of quicker had a fourth villain not gotten the jump on her sidekick and intern. He had hidden amongst the hostages, pretending to be one of them, only to attack when their guard was down. She had spent years working on her speed, but even she had to admit that she wasn’t the fastest. Plus, his sticky goo quirk could be used from a distance while she worked better in fights that were close range. When he managed to trap one of her feet in the sticky substance he created, she stumbled, wobbling in the air with her quirk activated.

The villain advanced on her, an ugly grin cutting across his face. “You’re a difficult one to catch.” Uraraka activated the rocket in her boot in an attempt to burn through the goo, but it was no use. The stuff was not giving away at all. “But I caught you.” He lifted his hand, goo dripping from his fingertips, but no matter how much she pulled on her foot, she couldn’t get away. Damnit! Was her sidekick still down? Her intern-

A red feather zipped through the air, catching the villain by the back of his jacket and throwing him into a wall. Uraraka could only stare when a fellow hero flew in through a broken window and cheerfully called out, “I had business at the bank, but I didn’t expect this kind on my day off.”

Specifically the current Number Three Hero, Hawks, in all his casual-wear glory.

With the villain distracted, Uraraka loosened her boot and pulled her leg out of it entirely. She didn’t need two shoes in order to do her job. While Hawks almost coolly take care of the goo villain, she checked on her sidekick and intern, both of whom were groggily getting up after being knocked out by some sort of gas quirk. “You okay?” she asked, and they nodded, somewhat sheepishly. After that, they focused on getting the hostages out of the scene. Most of them were either too flabbergasted or relieved to say anything. They burst out of the building, light spilling into the bank, and ran for cover as multiple police cars pulled up.

All in all, it only took about twenty minutes, but sometimes villain fights felt like they lasted for hours. Probably because of the aftermath that involved a lot of talking to the police and then paperwork. She wiped the sweat off her face and sighed before glancing down at her bare foot. Damnit, her boot was still inside the bank stuck in the goo. Who knew how long it would take to get that out? She didn’t want to go back in there and dig it out. That stuff had been disgusting.

“Missing something?”

Uraraka started and nearly yelped at the sudden voice, whipping around to find Hawks standing behind her and holding out her boot. It still had some slime on it, but he’d managed to recover it at the cost of one of his feathers, which dripped goo from his other hand. “Ah, thanks.” She took the boot and, after inspecting it with a wrinkled face, sat down to put it back on. “Sorry to bother you on your day off. That’s embarrassing. I should’ve been able to take him out on my own.”

“Nah, heroes need help from time-to-time,” Hawks replied. “That’s why I’ve got so many sidekicks.”

“I thought it was so you didn’t have to do as much work,” Uraraka said dryly.

Hawks shrugged. “That too. Delegation is key when you’re a leader.”

“You’re a real pro. You know that?”

“I do what I can.” Hawks turned his head to look at something and Uraraka followed, both of them watching as the police carted the captured villains away and shoved them into the back of a vehicle. It was a job well done, even if her shift had technically ended in the middle of the fight. Making her work overtime… Well, it wasn’t like villains ran on a schedule. This wouldn’t be the first time she had worked later than expected. And then there was the paperwork. Maybe she could do that in the morning. “To be honest, there wasn’t much left for me to do here. You did most of the work. I barely had to lift a feather, which I appreciate. No wonder Ryukyu has been so much trust in you.”

“What were you doing here anyway?” Uraraka asked.

“I legitimately had business to take care of at the bank,” Hawks answered. He frowned. “I guess it’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Everywhere is closed by now. I shouldn’t have waited for the last minute.”

She couldn’t help but snort. Of course he did. He was the type of hero that would walk into a robbery gone wrong on his day off. His entire being was geared towards being a hero. Funny that, considering his whole business with the League. They really had come a long way since then. Five years could change a lot, but Hawks was still Hawks. Back in the day, she’d thought he was the coolest hero ever. She wouldn’t consider herself on the same level as him, but working with him a few times had definitely changed her perspective.

Plus, she could read people a lot more than they gave her credit for. Hawks was not the open book he proclaimed to be now that people knew of his infiltration of the League back in the day. He still hid parts of himself from the public. It made sense. A lot of heroes did that in order to protect themselves.

“I got distracted reading one of those hero gossip magazines,” Hawks continued airily. “They’re filled with so many fascinating theories and ideas. Of course, some of them are downright degrading, but there are a few I enjoy. I like the alien conspiracy ones.”

Uraraka blew a raspberry. “Yeah, I prefer the wild ones myself.” The ones that were a little too close to home on the other hand? Not so much. Some of the gossip they printed was absolute trash, completely and obviously false. She and Mina would laugh over them all the time. Some of them were a little too real. She couldn’t bring herself to laugh about those. “I don’t blame you. It’s easy to get lost in them.”

“Most of them are fake,” Hawks said, “but there are a few that catch my eye every now and then. It’s good to keep an eye on them, just in case. Some lead to something more.”

“Oh yeah?” Uraraka stood up and brushed herself off. Damn, she needed a shower. She always got so sweaty in this costume because of how tight it was. Maybe she could get it adjusted.

Hawks smiled, somehow both cold and warm at the same time. “Having fun dealing with the cognitive dissonance that comes with hanging out with a reformed villain?”

Uraraka choked and paled. “Wh-what?”

He knew. He knew about Shigaraki. While they hadn’t really been keeping it a secret, especially since they’d hung out in public recently, she hadn’t talked about it with anyone outside of the people that already knew. None of her coworkers even knew about it - and she would like for it to stay that way. She wasn’t sure how any of them would react, but she didn’t think it would be positive. She was mostly wary about how her boss would respond. Ryukyu was an incredible hero, but she had clashed with the League too back in the day.

Her shock was all too apparent on her face, so much so that Hawks gave her somewhat of an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. That must have caught you off guard.” No shit. She was very much aware of how the public’s opinion on a hero could change when it came to who they were involved with. Even Hawks’ reputation had suffered a blow until the trials were over. It was unavoidable, one he seemed mostly unbothered by back then and now. “You’re terrible at keeping things hidden. That’s not a bad thing. The public deserves heroes that are open.”

“What are you-?”

Hawks pulled out a rolled-up magazine from a pocket inside her jacket and held it out to her. “They haven’t caught onto it yet - he’s really turned himself around, and toting a kid around doesn’t hurt separating him from his old self - but it’s only a matter of time.”

Too stunned for her hands to even shake, Uraraka took the magazine and opened it up. It was only a one-page article and the pictures weren’t that great, but she immediately recognized them being taken when she and Shigaraki had gone out for lunch the morning after his night hanging out with Touya. His back was to the camera, leaning over with his elbows on the table, no manners whatsoever, so his face couldn’t be seen. Meanwhile, she was holding onto Yukiko and making a face like she was teasing him.

“I’ll admit that he’s a good conversationalist,” Hawks said. “It’s easy to get swept up by him.”

“I-I don’t-” What was she supposed to say? She felt cornered, like she should run or maybe stand her ground. She wasn’t embarrassed to be seen with him or she wouldn’t go out in public with him at all. She wouldn’t have offered to help him look at apartments or gone out to lunch with him or let him stay at her place. She wouldn’t…

Uravity’s New Mystery Man?

She shoved the paper back into Hawks’ hands so she could bury her face in her own. “Oh my god. He’s going to flip out if he sees that.”

“Oh, no doubt. I’d say keep him in the dark, but it might be better for him to be aware that he could have a few stalkers here soon.” Hawks scratched his chin thoughtfully. “While the paparazzi are basically parasites, he might think they’re villains.”

Uraraka sighed. Great. This was just great. He would probably become suspicious about being seen in public with her now. Not that she would blame him. Having her personal life invaded was no fun, especially right before and after her and Katsuki’s breakup and then all over again when he and Kirishima became official. She didn’t want him to go through that. It would be awful. He didn’t need random people prying into his private life. There were enough shows and documentaries about the League as it was. They were clamoring for something new.

And Shigaraki having a daughter? They’d eat that right up. Anger sparked in Uraraka. The last thing she wanted was for Yukiko to get dragged into any sort of limelight. She didn’t need that either.

“I’m going to assume you haven’t told Ryuku about your budding friendship with Shigaraki?” Hawks didn’t blink or look ashamed at her when she shook her head. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have either.”

Oh. Right. Because he had been pretty...intimately involved with the League - if the rumors were true. It was hard to say when he’d gotten out of testifying at Dabi’s trial since Touya took a plea deal. They had only been hinted at in the other trials, but nothing ever truly came out of it.

“You should be careful though if you don’t want this to get out,” Hawks told her.

“What are you implying?” Uraraka questioned.

“I’m not implying anything.” Hawks eyed the feather covered in goo and dropped it onto the ground, a disappointed look on his face. “I’m simply saying that this could affect, well, everything about your life. You’re a hero. He’ll always have that mark of a villain against him no matter what he does.” He settled a careful look on her that made her press her lips together - a look that said he knew exactly what she was thinking. “They didn’t figure out his identity in this article, but someone likely will soon enough. I happened to spend a decent amount of time around him, so I recognized him off the bat despite his cleaning up and dad duties.”

It didn’t sound like he was judging her, which was a relief, but there was something...off about the way he talked about the whole thing. Familiar. Shouldn’t he be judging her even more since he’d witnessed many of the League’s crimes firsthand? He had been there when they’d devolved into vigilantism - when Shigaraki had begrudgingly agreed to help Deku take down All for One. Hawks knew more about the League than most people ever would, but no matter how many people asked him questions about it, he always declined to speak.

“Ah, I’m not being entirely forthcoming with you,” Hawks admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I knew that you and Shigaraki were...involved with one another? I’m not sure how to phrase it. Either way, I already knew that you two were spending time together, so that might’ve made it easier for me to figure it out when I saw the pictures.”

Uraraka tensed up. “How the hell did you know that? I mean, a good amount of people know, but it’s not like that’s something that comes up in conversation.”

“I might have an inside source close to the situation.”

“Who…?” Uraraka stared at him. Those old rumors came to mind again. But no. He couldn’t? Could he? After all this time, after years of being separated, after what they had gone through and the rollercoaster that had been Hawks’ position in the League, which no one truly understood to this day, could he still be…? “Touya?”

Hawks finger-gunned her. “Clever - no wonder Shigaraki likes you.”

“Oh my god.”

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Hawks pocketed his hands casually and looked away from her. “Being around him, remembering what he was like before and seeing him now, feeling comfortable when you know you shouldn’t, thinking that this is the worst decision you could make and just...not caring about that.”

His eyes were on the scene, seemingly focused, but she could tell that he wasn’t really watching the cops and other first responders deal with everything. He didn’t care about this. It had taken very little effort on his part to deal with the villain even on his off day. There was a reason why he still clung to the top despite everything, even himself. He had a duty to do, a peace to uphold, but even the strongest heroes could be selfish and make irrational decisions.

And yet, to her, what he’d said made perfect sense. She understood every bit of it, even if she didn’t know why.

“Yeah, it is weird,” Uraraka admitted, “but I don’t...mind it.” Her shoulders dropped. “Is that stupid?”

“No, it really isn’t,” Hawks told her gently. “From what Touya has told me - and my, does he like to complain - you two are very good for each other. That is strange. I’ll admit I was mildly concerned when he first told me.” He peered at her out of the corners of his eyes. “I don’t know you personally, but I know you don’t take shit. Anyone that dated Ground Zero as long as you did can’t afford to be weak.”

Uraraka grunted irritably and folded her arms across her chest. “Glad to know my strength is based on Katsuki.”

“I don’t even like dealing with him,” Hawks said, amused with himself. “But no, I’ve seen your work as a hero - before and after you graduated from UA. And I can tell you that you impressed Shigaraki even then.” She furrowed her brow. “You forget that I was there when you two fought. I saw you drop that building on him - and I saw him after. He was shaken up, whether he admitted it or not. You’ve never been someone to mess with lightly.” That was new. She had never really thought about how he reacted after that fight. There had been so much adrenaline coursing through her that she could barely remember her own. “And that is something shown by the people in your company.”

“And the people in yours?” Uraraka countered.

“It shows that my ability to make good personal decisions is touchy at best,” Hawks laughed. He held out a hand. “Of course, that goes for you too. You’re the one willingly hanging out with Tomura Shigaraki. And you let him crash at your place? How kind of you.”

Uraraka grit her teeth. What was up with everyone going on about how kind she was? It wasn’t kindness. It was simply just...what she wanted to do. “Oh yeah? Well, you’re the one who-”

Actually, wait, she didn’t know what kind of relationship Hawks and Touya had. Were they tentative friends like her and Shigaraki or closer than that? Considering that she’d figured out that Touya had been at Hawks’ place the night of the Kaminari Incident since he had said he wasn’t home, they had to be close. Right? But how close was close? Were they her and Todoroki close or…?

“It’s admittedly not that deep,” Hawks admitted. “Not anymore at least. Some relationships are a sinking boat, but you can’t help but jump in and try to get to shore anyway.” Uraraka thought that was kind of sad, but she could tell that he didn’t want to linger on it. The focus wasn’t on him, even if she was tempted to bring it back up in order to avoid talking about her. “You can’t fault me for being curious. I’ve never really known anyone in a similar situation. It’s very contradicting. You end up justifying things that you wouldn’t have before.”

“I…” Uraraka bit her lip. “That kind of makes us sound bad, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t know. Is it bad to give people a second chance when they’re trying to start their lives again the right way?”

No, it wasn’t. Touya was out of prison. Shigaraki was out of prison. Maybe the times they served weren’t long enough for some people, but they’d taken the punishment given to them. It didn’t make sense to continue treating them poorly and turning them away when they were trying to do right. As difficult and snarky as Touya could be, he had helped Shigaraki in so many ways - from picking up Yukiko to letting him vent and getting him home. And it was obvious, try as might hide it, that he cared about his family a lot. He wanted to do better by them.

And Shigaraki… Someone who had lost his family, who hadn’t understood the concept of it for a long time, who hated happiness so much that smiles pained him, had a beautiful daughter who laughed and smiled and loved him so much. Moody, difficult, cold - none of that mattered when it came to Yukiko. She was his daughter, and he would do everything in his power to protect her and give her the life that had been stolen from him. She couldn’t forget all the things he’d done, but she saw him now and things were just different.

She didn’t know how to explain it. She doubted Hawks could either. Maybe he felt stained by his time undercover with the League, which made things easier for him to explain away, but it was clear that it still troubled him some. How easy it was to mingle and keep company with people that most of society would turn their backs on.

“Don’t worry,” Hawks said. “I’m not gonna question what you see in him or what you two are really doing.”

Uraraka tried not to blush, but it was her natural instinct. “We’re not doing anything!”

“You’re a consenting adult allowed to do whatever and whoever you want, even former villains-”

“Tell that to yourself! I’m not- That’s not-”

Hawks laughed again. “You really are easy to rile up.” She snapped her mouth shut. Yeah, he was definitely seeing Touya. Only people with smart mouths and zero filters could put up with his ridiculous bullshit attitude. And then, right when she was considering letting him off the hook since he seemed to be teasing her, he winked. “But you do know extreme denial is one of the first stages, right? Trust me. I did not expect to fall into this either, but there are some things you just don’t have a say in. I saw how happy you looked in those photos. Even worse, I saw how trusting he was with you, and his trust is not cheap. That’s the truth no matter what way you spin it.”

“Yeah… I guess I am happier.” Uraraka rubbed her arm but then stopped and straightened up. “But it’s not just about him or Yukiko either. I’m doing really well for myself.”

“I saw the news. You really are.” It shouldn’t mean so much to hear Hawks say that, but he was still the Number Three Hero and had been at the top for so long. Being acknowledged was a big deal. She was a good hero. She was doing a great job. Maybe the public would look at her sideways for spending time with Shigaraki, but it didn’t matter. Her rank didn’t matter. What mattered was what she did with her life and if it made her happy. “When it does come to light - and chances are since you’re not sneaky like me or Touya, it will - things could get rough for you. And I’m talking much worse than all that basic breakup shit.”

Uraraka nodded. “I know.”

“But you’ll have people in your corner that know what really counts.” Hawks held out a hand, which she shook firmly. “Needless to say, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about this. Shigaraki doesn’t know.” He rolled his eyes. “Touya won’t tell him and I’m fine with that, but he’s too stubborn to admit he worries about what Shigaraki will think about it.”

She wouldn’t tell Shigaraki, mostly because it wasn’t his business. He should understand that since he didn’t want people gossiping about Yukiko. Still, like him, she was curious. “What would he think of you two?”

“Probably hate it.” Hawks grinned. “He’s not my biggest fan.” He wasn’t Deku’s biggest fan either, and he was staying at his place, so maybe Shigaraki would surprise him. On the other hand, Hawks’ role in bringing down the League had been very controversial, so yeah, Hawks was most likely very right. Shigaraki held grudges like it was his job. “Good work today, Uravity. I’ll see you around. Just...watch yourself, okay? It’s easy to think you’re going one way, only to realize you’ve been in over your head for a while.”

Why did so many people have to be so cryptic? Still, Uraraka got the point more or less. Being told that by Hawks now that she knew more about his personal life only made her leery. She didn’t get the chance to thank him again, not when an officer walked up to them ready to take their statements. He switched into professional mode right before her eyes, and she went silent. Even though she had been the main hero on the scene and on duty, the officer of course went right to Hawks, who took over breezily. She put her hands on her hips and waited for her turn.

She wished the officer would hurry up so she didn’t have to linger on Hawks’ words for too long. He must have been damn good at his job infiltrating the League since he’d easily managed to get under her skin.

Still, him and Touya? Geez, she did not want to know what that dynamic was like. It sounded like a mess.

Oh, shit, her phone!

Uraraka fished it off the small pack from her belt and unlocked it. Even though she’d been stressed a second ago, a smile lit up her face when she saw the short message from Shigaraki: Got the place.

That’s awesome! When’s the move in date?

Five Days.
Ugh I have to get my shit out of my apartment.

The rats are gone right?

Will they ever truly be gone?

He was so dramatic. She rolled her eyes and put her phone away when she spotted the officer heading toward her after finishing up with Hawks. The Number Three Hero caught eyes with her and winked before gracefully taking off and leaving her to take care of the rest. Well, at least some good news had been heard today. She’d wait to tell him about the magazine article later. Hopefully, he wouldn’t find out about it until then.

Chapter 27: You don't know how much shit you own until you move

Notes:

I was supposed to write for heroes, but these last two manga chapters came for my SOUL, so I had to write for Recon in order to cope. I'm sorry, sir, this is my healing redemption arc fanfic that I write to heal myself from the pain that is the manga. Fun fact: last time I moved, I was 4 months pregnant, so all my guy friends did the heavy lifting for me and had to keep stopping me from

Chapter Text

Shigaraki was spending what should’ve been his last night at Midoriya’s (admittedly decent) apartment, reading one of the few non-hero-related books in the place, when a message pinged on the television through the gaming system. He’d been mindlessly playing an RPG until he got bored - or rather, until Uraraka passed out on the couch next to him, practically drooling on the armrest.

She had swung by earlier to watch Yukiko while he finalized the details of the apartment and went to his therapy session. The game was boring enough for her to drift off once again, but honestly, he couldn’t blame her. Not even he had been interested. Plus, she’d come almost straight from work. There were dark circles under her eyes, but she waved away his offer to take Yukiko with him.

Stupid, self-sacrificing hero bullshit. At least, that was what he would’ve assumed before. No, this was just Uraraka - this was who she was - and she genuinely enjoyed being around Yukiko...and him. Maybe him.

He was considering waking her up when the message popped up on his screen, dragging his attention away from the sci-fi novel. He stared at the screen. TazerBlazer. It was Kaminari. He hadn’t heard from him since the whole reveal at Uraraka’s apartment and honestly assumed he wouldn’t ever again. It was better to let things go, or whatever shit his therapist was always on about. Shigaraki set the book aside and hovered a hand over the controller before he clicking on a button to open the message.

What’s up? Wanna game?

Taking a deep breath, Shigaraki picked up the controller and painstakingly typed out: Just like that?

Yeah man just like that.

Why?

I thought about it and it’s weird af and fucked up but if Uraraka is hanging out with u then ur good. I trust her. She let you stay at her place. That’s like a lot of trust on her end.

She’s a good person.

And a fucking saint for dating Bakugou for that long. Idk how she did it.

Shigaraki snorted. Yeah, she kind of fucking was. No one else could put up with him for that long - save for maybe the person he was dating now. He could’ve looked it up, but he hadn’t felt the desire to poke into her ex’s business. As long as Bakugou stayed away from him, he would do the same.

After glancing at Uraraka, who was starting to snore, and listening to see if he could hear Yukiko making any noise from the bedroom, he picked up the headset and put it on. As soon as his mic went live, Kaminari jumped on too. It was a hell of a lot easier than typing a bunch of shit out, even if he was quicker than most people. He didn’t have Kaminari’s speed or penchant for long-winded sentences.

“So, game?” Kaminari piped up without being prompted.

“Yeah,” Shigaraki replied slowly, “I’ve got some time before I need to crash. Yukiko is being good tonight.”

“First of all, that’s adorable,” Kaminari said as they set up their game, a different RPG instead of the one he’d been playing earlier. Apparently, he wasn’t in an online PVP gaming mood either. “Second of all, early morning tomorrow? I thought you worked weekdays at a video game store.”

“I’m moving into my new place,” Shigaraki admitted.

He should’ve been prepared for Kaminari’s loud cheering, but it still made him wince. “That’s awesome! Hey, you don’t have to couch or motel surf anymore, right?”

“Yeah, but I have to move my shit out of the apartment,” Shigaraki grumbled. “I’m kind of limited on help. Uraraka offered to come over-”

“Dude, her quirk would be insanely helpful.”

“That’s what I was thinking, but she doesn’t get off work until five.” And that was if a villain didn’t decide to interrupt the end of her shift like one had the other day. If potential villains and bank robbers could hold off for a few hours, that would be great. Shigaraki was starting to think that the minor inconveniences the League caused were worse than the actual terrorism. “Touya’s dragging his heels like usual and Iguchi might be able to swing by, but… It’s gonna be a long-ass day.”

There was a lull in the conversation while the game loaded before Kamnari blurted, “I could help.”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. “What?”

“I could help you move. I live like thirty minutes from Uraraka.”

“No.” Shigaraki couldn’t stomach it. He didn’t want to admit that he was relieved Kaminari was still talking to him,  because while it was weird to think of him as Kaminari, he was also the longest relationship he had in his life outside of All for fucking One, but accepting help from him was a bad idea. It sounded like something a good friend would do, but he didn’t want to be put in that situation or category. “No, I don’t need you pulling your ‘good guy hero shit’ on me too. I’ve had enough of that.”

Kaminari laughed. “Hey, who says I’m trying to be a hero for you? Maybe I just wanna look good for Uraraka.”

Shigaraki scowled even though Kaminari couldn’t see him. “Didn’t she date one of your closest friends? What about that bros before hoes rule?”

“It doesn’t apply if they aren’t a hoe.”

“Goddamnit.” Shigaraki rubbed his forehead between his thumb and pointer finger. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m kidding!” Kaminari laughed. “I wouldn’t be like that with her. She’s too good of a person and friend. Besides, I know when a girl isn’t available - and I don’t push it, just like you taught me.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes and didn’t say anything. He had gotten onto Kaminari multiple times about his gross behavior with girls. Granted, he was a teenage boy surrounded by what he described as “the best looking girls on the planet,” but that didn’t excuse his behavior. Now in his mid-twenties, maybe he wasn’t the perfect guy, but he had grown and was better than he used to be. He’d spent his time at Midoriya’s reflecting on how Kaminari had spoken about the Uraraka and Bakugou’s breakup - how he’d tried to help her out and made sure she knew he wasn’t trying to make a move on her. Shigaraki hadn’t known it was about her at the time, but he did now.

“It’s been a while since she and that bastard broke up, right?” Shigaraki asked as he picked his character.

Kaminari snorted. “Maybe, but she isn’t on the market right now.”

“You make her sound like some sort of rare antiquity.”

“Okay, one, ‘rare antiquity’? That’s nerdy. And two, she’s with you now, isn’t she?”

Shigaraki froze. “How did you-?”

“She told Mina that she couldn’t come out because she was watching Yukiko, so I went out instead, and I’m like three drinks in so my filter is gone, my man.”

“You had a filter?”

“Touche!” Kaminari laughed. Before they started the game, he sighed and added, “But seriously, man. I’m off work tomorrow. I can help you move.”

“Wouldn’t that be weird?” Shigaraki was pretty sure the last time they saw each other in person had been before he was arrested. His trial was something of a blur, so he couldn’t remember if Kaminari had been there or not. Strong as his quirk was - getting electrocuted was never fun for anyone - he hadn’t really been on Shigaraki’s radar.

“Hella weird, but a bro’s gotta help a bro out.”

A groan slipped from Shigaraki. “Do not call me a bro.”

“We’re bros !” Kaminari crooned in a sing-song voice.

“Ugh, you’re drunk.” Shigaraki wrinkled his nose in distaste and started the game. Thank everything he’d turned set the system so that Kaminari could only be heard in the headset and wouldn’t wake up Uraraka. “You’re gonna be worthless on here and in the morning if you did help out.”

“I ain’t drunk, just buzzed!” Kaminari paused, although he didn’t stop playing. “Well, I’m technically always kinda buzzing, but this is different.”

Shigaraki shook his head. He really didn’t change. Yeah, he might’ve matured and smartened up, but Kaminari wasn’t acting any different than he had a few weeks ago. This was just him, like Uraraka was just her. He was still the dumbass but helpful kid that Shigaraki stumbled across when he was fifteen and Kaminari was ten.

“You’d be more help than Touya,” Shigaraki conceded. “He’ll probably just complain the whole time, and he’s scrawny as hell.”

It would be weird though, mostly because they’d only interacted online. Would it change things again? Would it make them more awkward? It was kind of easy to ignore the fact that Kaminari was a hero and Shigaraki was a reformed villain when they never saw each other and only heard each other's voice. He could still pretend that he didn’t know even if his mind never truly let him forget it.

“Yeah, man, I’ve got muscle ,” Kaminari said proudly. “I mean, I’m not like Kirishima or Bakugou-jacked, but I’m in pretty good shape. I can help lift shit.”

“Good, because that’s the only prerequisite to help someone move.”

The click of buttons could be heard over the low volume of his headphones. He wasn’t certain anything short of an explosion would wake Uraraka up at this point, but he didn’t want to test that out with Yukiko asleep. He’d have to wake her up eventually, but she wasn’t bothering him curled up on the other side of the couch. Did she have work tomorrow morning? She was going to regret getting home late. Touya had been hard as hell to wake up too. He could sleep through anything. One time, he didn’t wake up immediately when a group of villains attacked their hideout.

“You think you can handle being around three reformed villains in a formerly rat-infested apartment?”

“I’m a hero, ain’t I?” Kaminari joked. Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe I never actually told you what I did for a living. It’s kind of a big deal. I’m not a big shot or anything, but it’s a big part of my life.”

“Well, I didn’t tell you I was a villain,” Shigaraki pointed out. Not that he would have if it came up. He’d come across quite a few villain sympathizers online, and a handful of criminals too - people like that tended to gravitate toward each other - but they usually pissed him off or irritated him by being so simple-minded. Granted, his first goal as a villain had just been to destroy shit, but people had to start somewhere. Now he was trying to create an actual life for his daughter. The world really was strange. “You serious about this?”

“Dude, of course,” Kaminari replied like it was completely obvious. It kind of reminded him of Toga, who had always been eager to help out no matter what he asked her to do. “Whether you meant to or not, you did kinda help me a lot - and yeah, I know, that’s cheesy and stranger than shit to say out loud - so I can do this one thing.” It was cheesy, but he couldn’t complain about it either. The more help he had, the quicker he could get away from there, into a better place, and out of Midoriya’s. “Uraraka and Todoroki don’t have a problem being around you all.”

“I wouldn’t count Todoroki in my case.”

Kaminari laughed. “Okay, that’s true, but it’ll be fine. I guess I’ve sorta known Touya for a while and…”

“Iguchi - or Spinner, in your case.”

“Yeah, I figured it was him. I might be a dumbass, but I’m not always an idiot.” At least Kaminari was honest with himself. Some people lived their whole lives refusing to admit they were stupid and repeatedly made the same mistakes. He couldn’t stand people like that. “I was kinda hoping it was Compress. That dude had such style. Whatever happened to him?”

Shigaraki thought about the minivan back at the apartment and the bouncer Yukiko probably missed. “No idea. He went completely off the radar after that Youtube video surfaced during our trials.”

“What an icon.”

That was certainly one way of looking at Sako. To be honest, Shigaraki would’ve preferred Sako’s help moving out over Iguchi’s. Nothing against him or anything, but that compressing quirk would’ve come in handy. Combine his quirk with Uraraka’s, and moving would’ve been a cinch. Maybe they should’ve started a moving company instead of taking down other villain organizations in an attempt to drain All for One’s power. He really needed to make sure his priorities were straight this time around.

*

“This is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” Iguchi stated as he gawked wide-eyed into Shigaraki’s now-ratless and clean apartment.

“We literally fought against a giant naked rock man for like a month to get him on our side.”

Iguchi pointed at the bouncer. “You’ve got baby shit in your apartment. You have a baby . That’s a bouncer that you put a baby in.”

“Sako got it for me. Appeared out of nowhere with a bunch of gifts because he heard a rumor about it and then vanished again right after.”

“No shit? That’s...thoughtful of him, I guess.” Iguchi ran his fingers through his hair. To be honest, he didn’t look very different from their League days aside from wearing different clothes. He was done cosplaying as the Hero Killer. In jeans, a t-shirt, and a light jacket, he looked normal as hell, just like Shigaraki. Aside from his reptilian appearance, which would mark him as Spinner for the rest of his days, he was an average citizen.

“He also got me a car.”

Iguchi choked. “He what? A car?”

“A minivan, to be precise, the arrogant bastard,” Shigaraki grouched. So far, Iguchi was the only person he had told about the vehicle sitting out front. He didn’t know why he’d decided to say it now, but it felt good to get off his chest. He’d been sitting on it for a while, too wary to touch it even if the paperwork had all checked out. He didn’t know how Sako had managed to make everything so damn legal . And he didn’t want to know.

“Do you even have a license?” Iguchi asked.

“I don’t even know how to drive,” Shigaraki said. “And we both know video games don’t count.”

Iguchi folded his arms across his chest. “They taught me just fine.”

“The only reason you don’t have more speeding tickets is because you don’t want to go back to jail.” Shigaraki shook his head and started to put Yukiko’s toys in one of the many boxes they had collected. “Could you imagine? You’re a model citizen, but you end up getting locked up again because of your GTA driving skills.”

“I took lessons!”

“I saw you pull in. Don’t even try me. That shit is ingrained in you.”

Sulking like a child, Iguchi began to clear the kitchen cabinets and demanded, “Are you gonna insult me the whole time I’m here while I’m helping you?”

Shigaraki peered at him sideways. “I haven’t seen you in a while and only have Touya around to insult.”

“He’s too easy of a target,” Iguchi said with a snort.

Touya was such an easy target, but he was also a target that shot back just as many insults and admittedly had a lot of humiliating information about him. So far, Touya had been kind for once and hadn’t told Fuyumi about what they’d talked about the night Shigaraki got drunk at his bar. He hadn’t even told her that he called Midoriya to give him a ride home. He also hadn’t told her about the whole “he’d been friends with a UA student and hero the whole time” debacle, which was a blessing.

Which...he should probably warn Iguchi about.

However, right when Shigaraki opened his mouth, there was a knock on his door. Iguchi must not have shut it all the way because it swung open on the first knock, revealing a surprised-looking Denki Kaminari, the hero Chargebolt, standing in the doorway. Iguchi stared at him in utter confusion. Shigaraki and Kaminari connected eyes. For one brief moment, Shigaraki regretted accepting Kaminari’s help. Being friends online was impersonal and safe, but in person meant so much more. It required so much more from both of them, and he didn’t know if he was capable of it. This might be the final nail in the coffin.

And then, just like online, Kaminari broke the awkward silence that fell over them with a dumbass comment. He lifted up a case of beer and cheerily greeted, “‘Sup? I brought libations to help make packing less stressful.”

Shigaraki gestured to him. “Iguchi, meet TazerBlazer from online.”

Iguchi’s jaw dropped. “You? You’re the kid who always played healer on our teams? The only one who Shigaraki never snapped at about talking?”

“That’s me!” Kaminari said with an awkward laugh.

“I…” Iguchi shook his head. “You know what? I have nothing to say that can top this. Your life really is the most messed up thing I can imagine.” And yet he was still here. That was the great thing about Iguchi. He always had someone’s back; he was dependable. Maybe he was a little over the top about it, but when Shigaraki had asked for his help, he hadn’t hesitated despite living over an hour away. “Seriously, I should’ve seen this coming.”

Kaminari grinned, bright and warm, and Shigaraki could feel the dumbass energy that made him easy to get along with online. “I almost didn’t recognize you after your name change when you got out of prison.” If it was possible for Iguchi to be any more shocked than he was, he might’ve had a heart attack. Shigaraki snorted. Iguchi’s gamer tag had been Stain-related before being arrested. He’d obviously changed it since getting out. “In retrospect, yeah, I should have recognized that ya’ll might be villains, but I mean, Stain was super popular online.”

“I can’t.” Iguchi threw up his hands. “It really is you.”

“Weird, right?” Kaminari set the case of beer down and pulled one out. “Drink to start this madness?”

“Might as well.” Iguchi took it. He looked like he needed it after this revelation. Shigaraki would’ve felt bad about not warning him beforehand, but he had tried. Kaminari simply proved to be more prompt than he expected. He should’ve guessed, since he always seemed to be around when he was needed. When Kaminari held a beer out to him, Shigaraki shook his head. Not yet. Kaminari shrugged and opened it for himself.

After taking a solid swig, Kaminari set the beer down and clapped his hands together. “You ready to get the hell out of here?”

“Fucking goddamn yes,” Shigaraki huffed. He wanted to be done with this shithole. It had served his purpose since he was released and got back on his feet, but he was over it. Maybe if he didn’t have Yukiko, it wouldn’t be a problem, but this had been his place. He didn’t want it to be hers. She was better than it and deserved more. And shit, maybe he did too. It was time to move on.

Unlike a lot of the heroes Shigaraki was used to seeing, Kaminari wasn’t super muscular or jacked, despite his jokes. It wasn’t like he could move a dresser on his own or pick up the couch like some. Iguchi might’ve had more muscle than him, in all honesty. Still, he had the same aura of endless energy about him that he did online. He bustled around the apartment at a speed that should’ve only been possible with a speed quirk, endless amount of chatter that kept things from getting awkward even when all three knew it was, and a laugh that switched between nervous and cackling as Shigaraki recounted the rat incident.

An hour into packing, Shigaraki pulled out his phone to check the time. “Where the hell is Touya?”

“You know him,” Iguchi said from the bathroom. “He shows up on his own time. He’s always been like that.”

“What?” Kaminari joked. “Ya’ll weren’t prompt in the League?”

He wasn’t,” Shigaraki grumbled as he pulled up Touya’s contact info. “Asshole was almost always late. Didn’t even show up sometimes.”

“Remember when he ghosted us?” Iguchi said.

Shigaraki scoffed. “Which time? The bastard wasn’t even around to deal with Overhaul until the end, and then he fucked off pretending to recruit again and play with a bunch of Nomus.”

It wasn’t by any means funny and probably disconcerting hearing such casual talk about their times as villains, but Kaminari full-on laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. It reminded Shigaraki of Uraraka. He used to bring up shit about his League days in an attempt to throw her off or maybe even make her leave, but it didn’t. She’d furrow her brow and shoot a mocking remark right back at him that left him thrown off and frustrated - but not mad. He had come to find that it was hard to be mad at her for very long.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Kaminari said between laughs. He bent over and put his hands on his knees as he tried to get his shit under control. “It’s just that… Man, we used to be so terrified of the League. Well, maybe not terrified - but ya’ll made us leery, nervous. You were the Big Bads until you all, you know, went sideways and did your vigilante shit, which I admittedly thought was kind of cool, but…” He stood up straight and took a deep breath. “Hearing you all talk about dumb stuff like this? Remembering all the times I gamed with you? It’s funny .”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Shigaraki let out a sigh. “It’s not funny. It’s weird and stupid.”

“You-you-” Kaminari blew a raspberry as he tried not to laugh. “Touya was the shitty employee that you complained about wanting to fire! Todoroki’s brother! And he turned out to have ties to a rival company-”

He lost it again, bursting into laughter, while Shigaraki rolled his eyes. However, when he glanced over at Iguchi for some sort of support, he found him staring at him with wide eyes. “I forgot all the stuff you used to tell him. I could never figure out why he believed it, but then he was younger than us. I just thought he was blinded by like some gaming worship or something.”

Kaminari popped upright. “Gaming worship? No way!”

“I thought you said I was some cool older kid taking you under his wing,” Shigaraki retorted.

“Yeah, but you needed me after you realized how bad you were at noticing your health,” Kaminari replied cockily. He put a hand on his hip and everything. However, there was a faint nervous gleam in his eyes, like he was trying to gauge whether or not joking around like this was okay (safe), but when Shigaraki only pressed his lips together in consternation, that nervousness faded away and his shoulders relaxed. Had he been talking so much because he was afraid?

Iguchi laughed. “Life imitates video games.”

“Oi, I’ve gotten better,” Shigaraki snapped.

“I can tell,” Iguchi said.

Another smirk tugged at Kaminari’s lips, but this one was far too cunning for Shigaraki’s taste. He narrowed his eyes to warn him to stop. He did not. “Well, of course, he’s gotta look good for-”

“Not sorry we’re late,” Touya’s voice interrupted from the doorway. “Just letting you know though, if I see a rat or any rat shit, I’m out. I lived with rats enough when we were hiding out in shitholes.”

Shigaraki was turning around to berate Touya regardless when he saw that he wasn’t the only one there. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“We’re late because I didn’t want to come,” Shouto said flatly instead of answering.

“Todoroki!” Kaminari exclaimed, bolting forward and throwing himself full throttle at his old classmate. The action and shout were so unpredictable that Shouto had no time to dodge or even defend himself, and the two heroes crashed into the wall adjacent from the apartment. “I didn’t know you were going to be here too!”

“I didn’t know either,” Todoroki muttered as he tried and failed to untangle himself from Kaminari. “My mother and Fuyumi told me to come help.”

Touya flashed his little brother a smirk. “Can’t say no to mommy, now can you?”

“Uh, you tried to get out of it too and caved to her immediately,” Todoroki pointed out once Kaminari finally let go of him. He brushed himself off and glanced at his friend, gave him a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it smile that Shigaraki only caught because he was looking in that direction, and then stared back into the room. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Want a drink?” Kaminari offered.

Touya plucked one of the beers out of the case, only for Todoroki to snatch it from him. “Yeah, I will.”

“This could literally not get any weirder,” Iguchi sighed.

Shooting his brother a glare, which Todoroki completely ignored, Touya turned to Shigaraki. “Uravity coming over later? That zero gravity quirk of hers would really come in handy getting this shit into that truck.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Yay!” Kaminari cheered. “Uraraka is gonna make this so much easier. Plus, I haven’t seen her in a while.”

Iguchi gawked. “Zero gravity… Uraraka… Are you talking about Uravity? Why is she coming over?”

Before Shigaraki could say anything, Touya cackled loudly, which only seemed to make Todoroki chug the beer even more. “Oh, man,” Touya said with a hoarse laugh, “you’ve missed out on so much. Just wait until you see those two together. You are going to lose your shit .”

Shigaraki threw a stuffed animal at Touya, hitting him right in the face since he was too busy laughing to fend off any sudden attacks. “Would you shut up?”

Touya wasn’t bothered a bit, the smirk on his face broad and pleased. “She’s great. You’ll adore her - and not just because you won’t have to carry all of this shit out of here. Yukiko loves her. It’s adorable .”

“I honestly hate you,” Shigaraki muttered as he returned to taking the bouncer apart.

“Does that mean I can leave?”

“No, now you get to put away clothes,” Shigaraki said.

Touya groaned and dragged himself to the bedroom. “I’m burning this shit to the ground if I see anything move.”

“Touch any of Yukiko’s shit with that fire, and I will disintegrate you.”

Kaminari beamed. “This is fun!”

Shigaraki was not about to call it that, but he had nothing else to say either. Shaking his head, he finished putting the last piece of the bouncer into a box and moved on to his entertainment system. He didn’t trust anyone else besides maybe Iguchi to deal with it. Definitely not Kaminari, who he knew had a habit of activating his quirk whenever he was nervous. As much as Shigaraki didn’t get on with Todoroki, his presence had definitely put Kaminari at complete ease. Todoroki helped his brother, their murmured voices heard but indistinguishable.

They continued packing with the occasional disturbance, this time with a beer next to him as he sorted through the games, when Shigaraki’s phone pinged a while later with a text from Uraraka.

Just got off work. Still at the apartment?

Yeah we’re all here.

All?

You’re in for a few surprises. I could spoil them now.

Oh no, I love surprises.

Shigaraki glanced up to see Kaminari and Iguchi arguing over his DVD collection while Touya teased Todoroki about some rumor in the hero magazines. She was definitely going to raise her eyebrows at this scenario. He was kind of irritated that there would be so many people to distract her, but that was only because he wanted to get out of her hair as soon as possible. It was fine. All she had to do was touch a box and they could do the rest of the work. He didn’t want to make her do more than he’d asked of her.

Around thirty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Before anyone else could answer it, Shigaraki barged his way over there. He’d seen the gleeful look in Touya’s eyes and knew he had to get there before him. He opened the door to reveal Uraraka, who opened her mouth to greet him or something, but he stepped outside and into her space before she could get anything out, shutting the door behind him.

“Touya is in a mood, his brother is in an even bigger mood, and-”

“Was that...Spinner and Kaminari?” Uraraka asked, peering up at him, her eyebrows raised.

“Iguchi.”

“Right, sorry, Iguchi.”

“And yes, it is.” Shigaraki rubbed the back of his neck. It was starting to get sore along with his back from all the bending over, lifting, and packing. He wanted to get this taken care of in one day, but he surprisingly had a lot more stuff than he anticipated. He couldn’t even blame it on Yukiko. Where had all this shit come from?

“I didn’t know you and Kaminari were talking again.” Uraraka smiled tentatively. “I’m glad.”

“We weren’t until last night,” Shigaraki admitted. “He messaged me after you passed out on the couch.”

Uraraka winced. “Sorry about that. I didn’t realize I was so tired.”

“You’re probably even more tired now,” Shigaraki pointed out. He hadn’t woken her up until about one after he and Kaminari were done gaming, which was probably a mistake. The apartment wasn’t his, but he still felt weird about just letting her sleep even if he had slept at her place. He had to at least give her the option of leaving. Plus, she would have woken up sore as hell if she continued sleeping curled up on the couch like that, and he didn’t need her complaining on top of Touya’s.

With a dismissive wave, Uraraka said, “It was a slow day at work. The only exciting thing I did was stop a jewelry thief and his quirk was quacking.”

Shigaraki made a face. “Quacking?”

“Yeah, he quacked like a duck, which brought actual ducks to the area and he controlled them to attack us.” Uraraka shook her head, a bemused expression on her face. “It was one of the weirdest fights I’ve ever been in. I guess I’m lucky it wasn’t honking for swans.”

“That’s…dumb as hell. You had to fight off a swarm of ducks?”

A grin slid onto Uraraka’s face. “It was a blast.” Yeah, he highly doubted that. He’d seen a lot of unusual quirks throughout the years, especially when he was a villain. Most people that became villains and criminals had quirks that were either deemed as too weird, useless, or dangerous. Their quirks were on the outskirts of what society deemed as acceptable or cool. But quacking to control ducks? That was ridiculous. “Okay, I can handle Touya - and I can definitely handle Shouto and Kaminari. Is Iguchi okay with me being here?”

“He hasn’t complained about Kaminari or Todoroki,” Shigaraki said, shrugging carelessly. “Even if he did complain about you, he can get over it.”

“Aw, defending me?” Uraraka joked. “How thoughtful of you.”

“I’m not defending you,” Shigaraki insisted. “Your quirk is going to make this a hundred times easier.”

Uraraka tsked. “Just using me again. I see how it is.”

Shigaraki grunted irritably. “I’m not-”

“Oi!” Touya shouted, banging on the front door. “You two done making out or what? I don’t want to be here all night!”

If it wasn’t for the fact that Shigaraki knew Touya was purposely testing his nerves in an attempt to get thrown out or told to leave so he wouldn’t have to work anymore, he might’ve done just that. Still, Uraraka flushed and looked away from him when their eyes accidentally connected a second later. Having been the subject of many invasive articles about her and Bakugou most likely (because he definitely didn’t look them up one night when Yukiko wouldn’t go back to sleep), she could handle a little embarrassment.

But Shigaraki was this close to throttling Touya.

He threw the door open, Touya just barely avoiding being hit by it, and stomped back into the room. “I’m onto your games, so don’t even think you can get out of this.”

Kaminari’s excited face dropped. “You mean he was just messing with you?” He pointed accusingly at Touya, who reared back in surprise. “Don’t be such an asshole. I thought he finally got over his denial.”

“What does-?” Shigaraki rubbed his temple and huffed in frustration while Uraraka snickered behind him. “I don’t care. Let’s just finish this.”

Whatever disappointment he might’ve felt (and over what, Shigaraki refused to think about it), Kaminari dropped it in order to smile again and rush to hug Uraraka. “Hey, girl, I missed you!” He went as far as to lift her off the ground, which made her laugh in delight. Shigaraki eyed them out of the corner of his eyes until Kaminari dropped her and then went back to focusing on his bookcase. Of course they were familiar with each other. They had gone to UA together and she’d dated one of his close friends. “We need to hang out more often. No, no, I’m serious. I don’t give a shit about what he thinks. We’re friends outside of him. Isn’t that right, Todoroki?”

“I’m not friends with him,” Todoroki responded. “Either of them.”

“Ah, man, I missed you too,” Kaminari sighed, completely serious. “We should do lunch this week. Dinner! Drinks! An escape room! Hey, Shigaraki, have you ever done an escape room? You’re smart. I bet you’d figure it out quick.”

“I am not willingly locking myself in a room with Shigaraki,” Todoroki stated very emphatically.

Shigaraki tossed him a dry smile. “Good because that sounds like a nightmare.”

“I did it unwillingly already, in prison,” Touya added.

Uraraka pressed her hands over her mouth, but it didn’t stop her from blowing a raspberry and sputtering into laughter. Iguchi raised his eyebrows and shook his head. This was classic Kaminari behavior, just like how he was online. He talked about whatever popped into his head without thinking it through first. It helped him gaming-wise because he was just there and acted without thinking, but sometimes he said the dumbest shit too. It was always genuine though. He’d liked that about him.

“I think your escape room idea is out,” Uraraka said apologetically, even if the smile on her face did not say she was too sorry about it. Kaminari nodded, although he didn’t look too upset. Some of his ideas were too ridiculous to ever come to fruition. “So - what all is there left to do?”

“Just move everything down to the truck,” Shigaraki said.

“My specialty.” Uraraka peered around him and pouted. “Where’s Yukiko?”

Shigaraki glanced at his phone to check the time. Normally, he’d still be working now, but he had managed to get off work in order to do this. “She’s still at daycare. Fuyumi is gonna pick her up later. I didn’t think a baby would be able to help packing.”

“Makes sense.” Looking around the room, Uraraka rubbed her hands together. “What needs to go down first?”

Touya grinned widely and opened his mouth, but Shigaraki cut in before he could say anything, “The furniture. We should get the largest things in the truck first.” He glared at Touya, who simply shrugged, while Uraraka nodded and walked about touching multiple pieces of furniture. After holding a bridge with her quirk, this was nothing, even if she had been at work earlier. The couch, empty bookcase, entertainment center, television, table, and desk began to float in the air.

Iguchi poked the bookcase and sent it across the room. It would’ve crashed into the table if not for Kaminari catching it at the last second. “Wow,” Iguchi murmured, “that really does change everything.”

“What else?” Uraraka asked, spinning around to Shigaraki for orders.

It made his head spin. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, not with her looking at him expectantly. “I don’t know. Wait until we need you again?”

Uraraka put her hands on her hips. “I’m not just gonna stand here and watch you all do the work?”

Kaminari furrowed his brow. “Why not? We’re the men!” Uraraka glanced back at him with a look that said she wasn’t impressed at all by that assessment. “Oh, right, because we’re the men.”

“We don’t need you for anything else right now,” Shigaraki insisted. “We can take care of it.”

“Well, that’s not fair. All I did was touch a few things.”

“Have a drink. Kaminari brought beer to help keep us motivated.”

“I’ll be motivated if I help you.”

“You’ve done what we needed you to do in this room.”

“I can do more.”

“Stop!” Touya jumped in before Shigaraki could counter her again. “He feels embarrassed about asking you to help and is trying to lessen your load since you just got off work.” Uraraka and Shigaraki both stared at him at a loss for words. Touya sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “This is him trying to be nice.”

Scoffing, Uraraka touched the nearest boxes and floated them as well. “I appreciate that, but this is nothing.”

Shigaraki stepped in her space again. She always froze when he did that. Every time he expected her to take a step back, but she didn’t anymore. “You’re doing enough. You could strain your quirk if you spread yourself too thin.”

“Oh yeah?” Uraraka pointed in what was vaguely the direction of the parking lot. “You could fill that entire truck with everything you own and I could easily float it to your new apartment.”

“Is that legal, Miss Hero?” Shigaraki retorted.

And then, just to kill the moment, he heard Iguchi whisper, “Oh my god, you were right.”

Ugly snorting from Touya tore Shigaraki’s attention away from Uraraka. He looked over to see Touya sitting down, bent over and trying not to laugh. “It’s bad, ain’t it?” He swayed in the computer chair, very amused with himself, and then sat upright and slumped in it, a dopey grin on his face. “Kinda embarrassing, if ya ask me.”

Narrowing his eyes, Shigaraki demanded, “Are you drunk?”

Touya tilted his head. “Not yet.”

“Fucking hell.” Shigaraki stared him down. “You know you’re not getting out of this until we get to the apartment?”

“Try me,” Touya shot back.

“Who gave him a drink?” Todoroki questioned.

Kaminari cringed and awkwardly raised his hand. “It was only the one…”

“You know he can’t handle alcohol,” Shigaraki said, utterly flabbergasted, while both Uraraka and Iguchi struggled not to laugh. “You’ve gamed with him while he’s drinking. He’s completely incompetent!”

“I didn’t want to be mean,” Kaminari mumbled, averting his gaze from everyone.

Shigaraki gestured to Touya, who snorted in amusement. “You should totally be mean to him! He’s mean!” Even Todoroki nodded, which meant the world was surely going to hell. The day the two of them agreed on something was definitely a dark day. This was supposed to end on a good note. Stomping into the kitchen area, he pulled out one of the takeout boxes of food they ordered earlier and dropped it on the table in front of Touya. “Eat and sober the hell up. I’m not carrying your drunk ass around.”

“If I have to help, you do too,” Todoroki added somewhat threateningly.

“Oh, alright,” Touya huffed as he popped off the lid. “It was only one drink, and I’ll admit I was exaggerating a little.” He reached into a box on the table and pulled out a pair of chopsticks. “But seriously - you ain’t good at being the gentleman type, so just let her do what she wants. You know what she’s capable of.”

“I wasn’t-” Shigaraki snapped his mouth shut. There was no arguing with Touya in this state. Things were humiliating enough as it was, and he had a feeling that if he kept pushing, Touya would push right back. That could be terrible with so many different witnesses around when he’d already said a few things that made Shigaraki want to throttle him. “Eat. Take a break. Drink some water.”

Touya snorted. “Yeah, okay, boss.”

Shigaraki pressed his lips together but decided not to comment on it. He turned to Uraraka. “How much do you think you can float at once?”

Uraraka shrugged. “All of it.”

“Okay. Let’s do a speed run then. I want to get out of here and be done with this place.”

While they finished packing the last of the stuff and Touya slowly ate and watched them, Uraraka moved around the apartment to touch everything that needed to be taken down to the truck. The mattress and shitty box spring, the scratched-up dresser, the mismatched bookcases, the rickety entertainment system - things that could’ve taken them hours to maneuver and carry out of here became nothing.

The extra weight on her quirk didn’t seem to bother her at all. Boxes and furniture floating around her, she stood in the middle of the apartment and held out her hands, palms up, when she locked eyes with him. There was an almost challenging glimmer in her eyes that seemed to say, See? I can handle myself just fine.

He knew that. He didn’t doubt that about her for a second. If anyone had excellent technique with their quirk, it was her. She knew how much she could take and how much she could push it. For a hero like her, this was nothing, just a walk in the park.

But she didn’t have to help him. None of them had to help. Iguchi didn’t have to drive over an hour to get here after not seeing each other in person over a year. Kaminari sure as shit didn’t have to help after finding out his identity. As much as Touya complained and dragged his feet, Shigaraki knew he would’ve come regardless of what his sister and mother said. Todoroki especially didn’t have to be here, but he was and with less complaining than his older brother.

It was strange. He hadn’t felt this kind of camaraderie since, well...not since his League of Villains days - except now it was three villains-turned-civilians and three heroes they tried to kill a few times. It shouldn’t have worked, but then again, the group he’d run with years ago probably shouldn’t have worked either. He had always been at his best when surrounded by mismatched people that didn’t go together but became a solid unit anyways.

As Shigaraki weaved through the floating objects to her, Uraraka ran her fingers along the edge of the box that held the crib. He still hadn’t opened it. At the new apartment, he would finally have to space to put it together. “You’re gonna worry so much when she’s sleeping in her own room,” she told him.

“Will not,” Shigaraki said. “I’ll be grateful to have my own bed again.”

Uraraka smiled softly. “Sure you will.”

“I will,” Shigaraki insisted. “I hate sharing my bed - and she somehow wiggles closer to me so I’m on the very edge when I wake up.” It didn’t matter which side of the bed he slept on. When he woke up, she was always pressed up so close that he was terrified she smothered herself in her sleep against his chest. “She’s gonna kick me off the bed one of these days if I don’t get her out of it.”

“You’re stuck with her forever, you know,” Uraraka joked.

Yeah, he was, but it wasn’t nearly as daunting as it had been in the beginning. When he first took Yukiko in, time seemed like such a foreign concept. The idea that someone could be in his life forever didn’t make sense. Forever was a long time that he didn’t understand. He dreamed up scenarios but struggled to picture her out of the baby stage. Now she was crawling everywhere and getting into everything and trying to walk and saying “Dad” and “shit” all the time. How long before she started actually talking? He measured time with her growing, and it was happening both so fast and slow. He couldn’t keep up.

And yet he had to. It was why, rats aside, he had to move. He had to learn how to drive. He needed a promotion or maybe even a better job altogether, which would mean other things for him. There was so much he had to do, but he was beginning to learn that “forever” wasn’t a lot of time in the long run either. He watched as Todoroki and Iguchi easily navigated the gravity-less bookcases out of the apartment, as Touya dragged multiple bags of clothes through the air into the main room, as Kaminari pretended to stack boxes of video games, movies, and books in the air. He didn’t want to admit that help like this made it seem like he had enough time, but…

It did.

Chapter 28: there are a lot of "maybes" in life but this ain't one of them

Notes:

Sometimes, the ridiculousness jumps out of you and it ends up being a chapter. This chapter, in particular, brought back some memories that made me chuckle. I also produced what is perhaps one of the greatest opening lines to a scene that I've ever written. And this chapter marked me having to start a third document for this fic. I'm really gonna still be writing this by next NaNoWriMo, huh.

Chapter Text

“First night in your new place,” Uraraka said. “How does it feel?”

Shigaraki looked around from his spot on the couch. Eventually, he wanted to get a new one. It felt out of place in such a clean, nice apartment. It was old and dirty, and he wanted it gone. That would have to wait though; it felt empty without it there. Maybe he could get a kotatsu or something like that. Yukiko might like that more than some boring couch. Granted, she wasn’t even a year old yet, so she probably wouldn’t give a shit either way.

Still, even if he disliked having his old shit in his new place, it was...good. It was clean and bright . He hadn’t known an apartment could have so many windows. Even though he liked it for Yukiko, it irritated him in a way that he hadn’t anticipated. He’d just have to invest in some curtains tomorrow, since the blinds weren’t good enough. A little privacy was a necessity. Still, it wasn’t bad. He liked it. He knew that he wouldn’t drag his feet going back to the apartment after picking up Yukiko. He wouldn’t glance away from the cracks in the walls and wish she didn’t have to be around them.

Maybe, just maybe, he could call it home - at least for her sake.

“Weird,” Shigaraki settled on saying.

Uraraka blew a raspberry. “Stubborn idiot.”

“But okay,” he added to appease her.

“That’s better.” Uraraka smiled and leaned back, closing her eyes and relaxing for a moment.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. Was she tired? She’d been using her quirk for the better part of the day. After loading the truck, they had to drive here and then unload everything. Nothing having gravity definitely helped things go quicker and easier (his neighbors’ jealousy as they watched had been so palpable that he almost laughed along with Touya), but it meant she held onto it almost constantly. Even if it wasn’t much weight, using her quirk for so long had to have been exhausting.

After bringing everything up from the truck, they had spent time situating everything before unpacking. They hadn’t been able to finish everything, but there were only a few boxes and bags left to put away. He could do that on his day off tomorrow. It wouldn’t take long. Everyone had shuffled off about thirty minutes ago: Kaminari and Iguchi excitedly talking about their next campaign and Todoroki almost carrying Touya, who had chugged two drinks once they finished as a “reward”. Only Uraraka was left, although she’d probably leave soon, seeing as she had work in the morning.

You could always see if she wants to crash here, a voice in the back of his mind pointed out. Maybe it was his tired-ass conscience. It was getting more workouts these days than it had in the past. Whatever it was, he shoved that thought back down. It might not be as weird now that he had stayed at her place, but she had a fold-out couch while he had this piece of shit. And he kind of really wanted to sleep in his own bed, even if it wasn’t that great either.

“Sure you’re okay with Yukiko sleeping in her own bedroom?” Uraraka asked, eyes still closed.

“You’re goddamn right I am,” Shigaraki quickly responded. She opened one eye to peer at him, the smile on her face turning more mischievous. “Seriously, I’m fucking ecstatic. I get my own bed again? Yeah, I’ll probably have to get up a few times throughout the night, but I can’t wait.”

Uraraka giggled. “You’re gonna be waking up in a panic and staring at the baby monitor trying to figure out if you can see her breathing.”

“Definitely not. I’m gonna be passed the fuck out.”

“Who are you kidding? You’re barely gonna sleep for the first few days. You’ll be too anxious.”

“No time to be anxious when I’m unconscious.”

“You’ll miss her,” Uraraka teased.

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. The urge to just...touch her or something swept over him. Grab her, shake her, anything to get her to stop. It would have been like what he sometimes felt when Touya mocked him if not for the fact that it wasn’t exactly unpleasant. He wasn’t angry with her. He knew she was joking, and maybe he was too if he did mean everything he was saying. There was just this desire to reach over to her - to be closer and in contact with her - and he didn’t know what to do with it. He’d always been wary of his hands, but it had gotten worse since Yukiko and Uraraka entered his life.

Unable to figure out what to do or what the feeling meant, Shigaraki settled on lightly griping, “Oi, stop it,” and poked her in the side.

Half of a yelp slipped out of her before she slammed a hand over her mouth to cut herself off. Both their gazes flickered to the hallway, toward Yukiko’s bedroom, but after a few seconds, they relaxed upon hearing nothing. Uraraka glared at him over her hand and used her other one to shove his arm. He snorted but didn’t push back.

Lowering her hand, Uraraka softly said, “I am proud of you.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

“I mean it!” Uraraka insisted. “This place is nicer than mine.”

“You should’ve moved in here,” Shigaraki said. She raised an eyebrow, and he immediately scrambled to backtrack. “I meant you should have taken the apartment instead.”

Uraraka waved a dismissive hand. “I ended up having to resign my lease, so I’m still there for a little longer.” She stood up and gestured to the room. “This is all you. I mean, maybe it took a few rats in order to push you to move, but you did it. You got a promotion and a new apartment. You’re really moving on up in the world.”

“Oh, definitely. I’m accomplishing great things. After all, I’m the morning manager at a video game store. I’m really up there now.”

“Not to mention the father to a beautiful, happy, and healthy baby girl,” Uraraka pointed out. “That has to count for something, doesn’t it?”

Shigaraki tapped a finger against his thigh, meeting her soft gaze. The fact that he had created something and continued to help nurture that something when he was wanted to destroy everything for so long… “Yeah, it does.”

“So what’s next on the agenda?”

“I don’t know,” Shigaraki admitted. “I hadn’t thought much further.”

It was strange. Before, he had liked to plan things meticulously. All for One, for all that he encouraged him to embrace his destructive urges, had also taught him that reacting violently whenever he felt the impulse wouldn’t always work. Sometimes, the situation called for it. Other times, it required strict action and careful planning. Shigaraki liked coming up with all the details of an intricate plan, but he also enjoyed making things up on the fly. Most of the media had thought him manic - and yeah, he’d thrown tantrums when things didn’t go according to plan - but he really had spent a lot of time thinking things through.

With a baby, he could do all the planning in the world and it would mean absolutely nothing. Yukiko could throw a wrench in even his most bulletproof plans within five minutes of waking up. Honestly, most days she didn’t and things went smoothly, but there were some days where everything seemed to go wrong, and he didn’t know what to do other than wing it.

“Well, I need to get going if I don’t want to feel like a zombie tomorrow morning,” Uraraka said as she began to gather her things. Ah, so she was leaving. Made sense. It wasn’t like he had offered her a reason to stay or he had wanted her to. He wasn’t nervous about staying in a new place on his own. It was somewhere to live, and he had most definitely lived in worse places. “Text me if you need anything.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Shigaraki closed his eyes. If he wasn’t careful, he was liable to fall asleep out here. He couldn’t let himself sit for too long.

“And hey,” Uraraka added, making him open his eyes, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You’re resourceful, if nothing else.”

Shigaraki nodded, but his mind drifted off toward the minivan. It was still in front of his old apartment building since he couldn’t drive it and didn’t trust Iguchi. Todoroki had driven the moving truck since he proved to be the best driver. He technically had the apartment for a few more days, so he didn’t care about leaving it there, but he had to do something soon. He couldn’t ignore it forever.

*

The issue with the minivan came to a head two days later when Shigaraki’s old landlord called asking if he could have it moved by the next day. No, he could not, but he didn’t have a choice either. He could have asked Uraraka, or maybe Kaminari, but he didn’t want to tell them about it either. One) he didn’t want to worry her or make her uncomfortable since technically an escaped villain had given it to him, and two) he wasn’t sure if he trusted Kaminari’s driving skills any more than Spinners.

Even though he had gone through the paperwork to make sure it was legal what felt like a hundred times, Shigaraki was still wary of touching it. He had to make sure there was nothing wrong with it, but the only way he could really do that was, well, with a hero’s help. Had Midoriya been around, he might’ve caved and asked him to look into it, but he was still up north somewhere. He couldn’t ask Uraraka. Touya’s asshole little brother was out of the question. If he asked Kaminari, he would undoubtedly let it slip to Uraraka, and then she might get her feelings hurt.

(He was not going to think about why that bothered him.)

That left one awful option, which was probably why it had taken him so long to make the decision. Even worse, he couldn’t even text Uraraka to complain about it, and he did not want to tell Touya. He still didn’t know about the minivan and Shigaraki was determined to keep it that way for as long as possible. He’d never hear the end of it.

Unable to stop himself, Shigaraki texted Uraraka: Tell me this is a bad idea.

Not even a minute later, he got a response from her and immediately groaned into his hands when he realized his mistake. What’s a bad idea? Is everything okay?

He fought the urge to bang his phone against his head as he thought, Good job, asshole. You worried her. She’s probably thinking you’re about to jump back into villainy or some shit. No, she thought better of him than that, right? Still, the sudden, out-of-context demand must’ve caught her off guard.

Everything is fine. He paused mid-second text, unsure he wanted to continue. Then he realized it was too late since he’d already sent her the first one. I’m about to get into contact with All Might.

Oh wow! That’s random! Ok. I was not expecting that. What for?

To be honest I’d rather not talk about it. At least not right now.

Ok ok. That’s fine! Fair enough

I need his help with something and it’s embarrassing and I don’t want to do it. I hate it. I didn’t want him to get involved with this shit because I know how much he wants to be here for me or whatever and it’s pissing me off.

As long as you express your need for boundaries, it should be ok. He only wants to help. He feels responsible for you.

Well he’s not.

This is a good idea. I think.
I’m going to pretend that it is and send positive vibes your way!

Ugh texting you was a terrible idea.

Shut up.
I have successfully soothed your concerns and you will DEAL WITH IT.

Uraraka had not done that, but Shigaraki no longer felt like he was going to die and roll in his grave over the idea of calling All Might. He set his phone down on the counter and spun it around. He picked it up, opened the contact list…and then set it down and spun it once more. Every second he didn’t call was a second he did not have to ask All Might for assistance, but it also meant prolonging the inevitable, which was painful as well.

Snatching up the phone, Shigaraki found All Might’s number and hit dial. He regretted it as soon as it started ringing, but there was nothing to be done. He needed to get that damn minivan moved, double-check that it was legal, and then decide what to do with it. Did he keep it? Did he learn to drive? Oh, man, who was going to teach him how to drive? He was not going to sign up for some stupid fucking class. All Might would probably offer. He didn’t want to take, but he also couldn’t rely on Uraraka or Fuyumi all the time.

“Hello?” All Might’s familiar voice came on the other end.

Just hang up and pretend it was an accident.

“All Might?” Shigaraki replied instead. He winced and mouthed a curse. What was he doing? “It’s, ah, Shig-”

“You’re calling me!” All Might exclaimed in shock. Yeah, no shit Shigaraki was calling him. There was no need for him to say that out loud. “Is everything okay? Is it Yukiko? Are you okay? Do you need-?”

“Can you calm down for one fucking second and let me talk?” Shigaraki snapped.

“I- Yes, of course. I’m sorry. I simply...wasn’t expecting to hear from you unless it was something drastic,” All Might sheepishly admitted. It made sense. Shigaraki hadn’t planned on calling him for help unless the situation was absolutely dire. The last time he’d seen the former Number One Hero had been when he was getting Yukiko’s documents straight. That had been a blast that he absolutely never wanted to repeat. It looked like he wasn’t getting his wish.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Shigaraki said, “It’s not drastic. It’s just...something I can’t do on my own, but I think you can.” He huffed out a breath. “Just so you know, I really didn’t want to do this.”

“I’m sure you didn’t, but I’m glad you did,” All Might replied gently.

Shigaraki’s stomach turned. Ugh, he was going to make this so difficult. Back in the day, he would’ve sneered at All Might’s eagerness to help. Okay, so maybe he was doing that now, but it didn’t piss him off so much as make him uncomfortable. He knew his desire to help was genuine, which was perhaps what made it so hard to deal with.

If Uraraka and Midoriya being willing to help him and be involved in his life was weird, All Might was even worse. After all, he’d been a negative fixation of Shigaraki’s for so long. It felt like half of his therapy sessions were about All Might. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but still, it wasn’t fun.

“So what did you need?” All Might prompted, probably sensing Shigaraki’s reluctance to talk.

“It’s kind of hard to explain, but…” Shigaraki dropped his hand and leaned back in the chair behind the counter. It was a good thing no one was in the store right now. “I got a vehicle.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you knew how to drive.”

“I don’t.” Shigaraki grit his teeth as he prepared himself to barrel through the next bit. “Someone gave it to me as a gift. They said all the paperwork was taken care of, but I wanted to make sure before I touch it just in case.”

All Might was silent for a moment before saying, “Someone gave you a vehicle.”

“Yes.”

“Is it...legal?”

Shigaraki gripped his phone tightly, his middle finger going stiff from holding it up. “Yes - at least I think so, from what I can tell. Listen, can you just…? Can you use an old contact or whatever to look it up?” He didn’t know what he was saying. He didn’t know what he was doing. All he knew was that he wanted this conversation to be over even if they weren’t anywhere close to the end. “I don’t know what to do with it. I have to move it to my new place, but I don’t have a license and...yeah.”

After taking a deep breath, All Might said, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes, I can…” Movement sounded on the other end, followed by what sounded like All Might flipping through papers. “I can make a few calls. Naomasa will probably be willing to help since he’s aware of your situation and helped us figure out where Yukiko was born.” It was probably better to keep this between people already in the know about him. “I’ll need information on the vehicle, of course.”

Shigaraki leaned forward so he could pull a small notebook out of his back pocket and threw it on the counter. “I’ve got everything.”

“Good, good.” All Might paused. “Did you...need someone to move it for you?”

“You just want to know where I live now,” Shigaraki grumbled. It might’ve been a valid complaint had that not partly been the reason why he called All Might. He groaned. “Yes, I need to move it today.”

“I can do that,” All Might said patiently.

“Okay, the key is taped to the engine.”

“You left the key in the car?”

“Kinda hoped someone would steal it so I wouldn’t have to deal with it any longer, but I guess no criminal wants to steal a fucking minivan.”

All Might let out a tired sigh. “Are you going to tell me who gave you the car or will I need to guess?”

“I’ll let you know after you find out if it’s legal or not,” Shigaraki said. Was he being difficult on purpose? Maybe, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to feel like he had some sort of agency over this. “I’m also kinda curious about whether or not they’re as good as I think they are.” He checked the clock on the wall opposite him. “I get off work in like two hours. I guess, if you wanted or it was easier, you could...meet me here.”

“What about Yukiko?”

“I told her daycare that I might be late today, but they said that was fine. If I’m too late, I can always ask Touya to pick her up. That asshole isn’t doing anything today.”

“I’m glad you have friends that can help you out,” All Might chuckled. Shigaraki tried not to sigh for the hundredth time. Yeah, it was nice, but it’d also be nice if it they weren’t such a weird group. Of course, he had been surrounded by a strange group of people for the better part of his life, so maybe this was the norm for him.

Fuck, he hoped not. He needed some sort of relief.

*

I regret every decision I’ve made that has led to this moment, Shigaraki thought as he sat behind the steering wheel of his goddamn minivan with All Might in the passenger seat.

Yesterday had been painful enough. Shigaraki had spent the last two hours of work contemplating dipping out and leaving All Might stuck with the vehicle, but he could hear multiple voices berating him. Even if only Iguchi knew, he swore Fuyumi’s voice scolded him about his childish behavior. Maybe that was his conscience. It was becoming more and more apparent, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Either way, he was still at work when All Might pulled up in the minivan and he had to force himself into it.

Needless to say, they hadn’t exactly talked. Shigaraki muttered through some directions and glared resolutely out the window with his arms folded across his chest. It was definitely childish. He didn’t give a shit. His stomach rolled and discomfort crawled under his skin. It was only when All Might parked, slowly but capably, that he asked the dreaded question.

“Do you need help learning how to drive?”

Shigaraki’s first instinct had been to say no, but then Fuyumi texted him a picture of Yukiko pulling on an unamused Touya’s ear and nose. She looked so excited, which was mind-boggling Shigaraki. He didn’t see what she saw in Touya. He certainly wasn’t that excited when the asshole was around.

The picture did the trick. He could say no to All Might, but he couldn’t say no to her.

Which was how Shigaraki found himself in this ridiculous and stupid situation. It occurred to him distantly that this was the kind of thing a parent would teach their kid, but it wasn’t like All for One had been the type of custodial guardian to teach his charge things that might give him more independence. By the time he needed or wanted to travel, he had Kurogiri, whose quirk was faster than driving. Ugh, All Might was probably so happy about this.

All Might took a deep breath. “Now, do you remember everything I-?”

“Of course I fucking remember,” Shigaraki snapped, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. Instead of berating him for his behavior, All Might simply nodded. Shigaraki forced himself to relax his hands. He had definitely worn his gloves for this. The vehicle wouldn’t have stood a chance if he hadn’t.

To be honest, there wasn’t a lot to driving - at least not in the empty parking lot of an abandoned building. He couldn’t help but think they looked suspicious, but no cops stopped to question them. Besides, if they did, the only thing All Might had to do was flash a smile and his ID, and the cops would be on their merry, dumbass way.

Turn the key in the ignition, press the brake and move the handle from park to drive, and then slowly ease on the gas pedal. He had played enough driving games to know how to work a steering wheel, but it was strangely difficult to go slower than the fast speed the racing cars allowed him to reach. He had to ease his foot down on the gas and not slam the break whenever he reached a stop sign.

Which he totally did, jerking them both forward and forcing All Might to put a hand on the dashboard to keep from hitting it. So close.

“You don’t have to hit it so roughly,” All Might pointed out.

“I know that.”

“Just relax.”

“I am relaxed.”

Shigaraki was not relaxed. He wasn’t exactly stressed out either, just completely tense. His neck and shoulders were starting to ache from holding himself so tightly. He rolled it, the bones cracking, and then forced his shoulders to drop as he stared ahead. This was stupid. Sako had done this just to be a jackass. It wasn’t helpful at all. What had he expected when he went out of this way to legally gift him this vehicle? That Shigaraki would learn how to use it so he could pick Yukiko and her friends up from school?

“You’re actually doing quite well,” All Might said. “You’re overthinking things, I believe.”

“Gee, what would I overthink?” Shigaraki shot back dryly. “The fact that a man I spent years trying to kill is teaching me how to drive when I’m almost thirty?”

All Might actually smiled at that, which was annoying but probably the only response to something so absurd. Shigaraki huffed and sank back in the seat. He wished… Fuck, he didn’t know what he wished would happen. Maybe that he could learn to drive instantly and drive away from this situation? Press a button that would eject All Might out of the seat like in a spy movie?

“Let's try again.”

The words gave Shigaraki pause. He’d heard them before, but not in the same tone. All for One had seemed gentle and patient at first too, but he hadn’t been, not really. There had been no “try”. It was only “again”. Again and again and again - until things didn’t feel so bad, until he didn’t feel like throwing up, until he didn’t collapse, until it didn’t hurt anymore. The way All Might said it made it sound like he could say no. He could get out of the car and leave. He could stop if he wanted, and no one would get mad or frustrated or demean him in disappointment.

Shigaraki let out a breath and put the car in drive - and then he drove.

After another hour of cursing, speeding and almost hitting a lightpost, cruising around in circles, parking, and a handful of other things, Shigaraki felt fairly confident. Or at least he was confident enough to drive in parking lots. There was an entire world out there that most definitely did not go by video game rules. They didn’t have traffic lights, after all. Well, they did, but he never listened to them. All Might had shown up with a huge binder full of traffic laws that he needed to study. He already wanted to die a little.

“Can we be done now?” Shigaraki asked, feeling pathetic and defeated. Judging by the clock, Yukiko would be due home soon. Uraraka had taken her out for a “girls day,” whatever that meant, but he had told her that he’d be back around seven. All he wanted to do was go home, plop down on his couch, stuff his face full of food, and watch shitty movies with Uraraka and Yukiko.

“Yes, we can stop here,” All Might said.

Shigaraki practically slid out of the car, mentally exhausted and frustrated. If Uraraka knew what he had to put up with today, she would’ve been so proud of him. Willingly spending hours in a vehicle with All Might. Who would’ve thought? His therapist would be proud. He dragged himself into the passenger seat while All Might got behind the wheel and effortlessly drove them out of the parking lot from hell. Once again, he felt himself falling into that silent, emotionless pit that happened whenever he watched the scenery fly by.

“So, you didn’t tell me who was watching Yukiko today,” All Might, his eyes still on the road. He was using his most casual tone. It was not very casual at all.

“That’s because it’s not your business,” Shigaraki grumbled.

All Might’s persistence was worse than Midoriya’s, and that was saying something. “You’ve got a new place and a promotion. It looks like you’re doing well for yourself.” Shigaraki rolled his eyes. Whatever. He could do better, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do next aside from learning how to drive a metal deathtrap. “I know it must’ve been difficult, but I’m glad you’re not trying to do this all on your own.”

“What?” Shigaraki glanced at him with a tired glare. At least the urge to lash out was gone, even if he was irritated. “Did your son tell you all about what’s going on in my life?”

A smile touched All Might’s lips. “Izuku hasn’t told me any details. I know you stayed at his place while searching your an apartment because he didn’t want me to drop in unexpectedly. And I know you’ve had help because, well, I’ll admit to being worried, but I didn’t press for details and he didn’t offer any.”

“Huh, that’s…” Polite. Thoughtful. Considerate.

Heroes fucking sucked. He didn’t like it at all.

“Did you want to pick up again tomorrow?” All Might asked.

“I wanna get this over with as fast as possible, so I guess,” Shigaraki said. He could probably get off work a little early, maybe pick Yukiko up an hour later. The daycare was open all day and night since many heroes used it for their kids, which made it convenient for single parents too. It must’ve been hell on the workers, but it was kind of nice, even if he couldn’t stand the idea of leaving her there at night. “How long before I can take the test?”

“Whenever you feel like you’re ready.”

“A week from today,” Shigaraki decided. “Maybe sooner.”

“Well, it’s important that you’re ready-”

“I’ll be ready.” Shigaraki turned his gaze back to the window, catching his reflection. Shit, he’d forgotten to put on lotion today. He needed to do that before Uraraka got back. He specifically wanted to make sure they got back before she did. The last thing he needed was for her to ask why he was in a minivan with All Might. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want her to know until he had his license, but he was going to keep it that way. Maybe it was an embarrassment.

Maybe maybe maybe. This shit was giving him a headache and it was only going to get worse. Tomorrow they were going to practice parallel parking. Shigaraki was pretty sure someone was going to die.

Chapter 29: if you feel called out, it's for a good reason

Notes:

Press F for everyone who reads this chapter and thinks to themselves, "Why did you have to drag me like that?" Just know that I dragged myself as well, but that's basically my relationship with this entire fic.

Chapter Text

It didn’t matter how bad of a day she had been having: all Uraraka had to do was look at the picture Shigaraki sent her a few days ago and she’d go from wanting to flop face-first into her bed to struggling not to burst into hysterical laughter. The whole learning to drive thing had come to her as a shock, but even moreso when she realized that his reason for reaching out to All Might had been for help learning. It must have taken so much willpower to make it through those lessons.

However, it had all been worth it in the end. Shigaraki might look absolutely mortified as he ducked his head in an attempt to hide his face while All Might proudly showed off the new driver’s license and took their picture, but he really had come a long way. For one, he had actually allowed All Might to take the photo and hadn’t disintegrated the camera. The sour, petulant expression on his face, coupled with what looked like a slight coloring of his face, a stark contrast to All Might’s bright, massive smile was too funny.

His brusque comment on the picture made her grin even more: Killed two birds with one stone - got my license and came to a compromise with All Might. You should be proud. I only wanted to die the entire time.

To top it all off, every time she spotted the shiny minivan in the background, Uraraka broke and blew a raspberry. She could not wait to ride in that vehicle with him. Maybe she could convince him to take Yukiko to one of the nice parks across town. Or maybe not. She’d probably start crying from laughter if he pulled up to pick her up in a minivan. She wondered if Touya knew, but no, he would’ve ripped into Shigaraki so hard that he wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret.

Either way, the former League of Villains leader was now the driver of a minivan and one step closer to being a soccer mom, and she couldn’t let herself laugh about it more. She was proud of him for taking the next step to gaining independence and doing more with his life. Even if he continued to use public transportation, some things would be easier for him. She briefly wondered what kind of driver he would be when she realized there was no point.

Shigaraki would be an extraordinarily careful driver who followed all the rules and curse people out for not doing so whenever Yukiko was in the car. If she wasn’t, well, it’d depend on his mood.

The thought that she knew Shigaraki a little too well only crossed her mind for a second before she shut it down. Nope, she didn’t need to get into that.

“No Mr. Mom tonight?” Mina teased. “You’re hanging out with me?”

Uraraka rolled her eyes as she attempted to do her hair. “I hung out with you last week too, and we text every day.” She wrinkled her nose at her reflection. For some reason, her hair did not want to cooperate with her. Not for the first time, she felt the urge to shave part or all of it off. At least then it wouldn’t get stuck in her helmet as much. But no, she wouldn’t do that. She didn’t have the guts for something that drastic. “Don’t worry; I haven’t replaced you.”

“Oh, I’m not worried about that,” Mina proclaimed, leaning against the threshold of Uraraka’s small bathroom. “I was just curious since you two spend so much time together.”

“We do not.”

“Seems like it to me.”

Uraraka pointed the straightener at her. “It’s like twice a week at most. That’s not a lot.”

“I hate to bring this up again because I feel like we’re mostly past it,” Mina said, “but any time spent casually hanging out with a former villain that tried to kill, kidnap, or maim us a few times is like...a lot.” She quickly held up her hands when Uraraka shot her a glare. “Not that it’s bad now or anything! He seems like he’s really turned his life around, which is great. It’s nice to know people can get a second chance, you know? Besides, it’s been how long?”

Setting the straightener down on her sink, Uraraka began to tap her lips in thought before remembering that she’d put on pale pink lipstick. “Well, Yukiko is almost ten months old, so...almost seven months?” She furrowed her brow. “It feels like it’s been longer than that. She’s growing up so fast. She’s crawling around everywhere and talking so much and laughing.”

Mina snorted. “You sure she’s Shigaraki’s kid?”

“I’ve walked in on him multiple times just talking to her like she understands him,” Uraraka said with a laugh. “It’s even funnier because she babbles back and looks at him, and he’ll just keep going like he’s actually having a conversation. Five minutes of back and forth with her, and he’s figured out what to eat for dinner.”

“I guess it helps teach her how to talk?”

Uraraka shrugged. “I think so.” She looked at herself in the mirror. Honestly, this was as good as it was going to get. She rarely dressed up aside from when she went out with Mina or Momo, and even then she didn’t feel like she knew what she was doing. “Do I look okay?”

“You look fabulous,” Mina declared. Then her friend folded her arms and tilted her head. “So what’s he doing tonight?”

“Hanging out with Touya,” Uraraka said as she brushed past her on her way out of the bathroom.

Mina raised an eyebrow. “Just Touya? No baby?”

“Yeah, All Might is watching her.” Uraraka snorted to herself. Shigaraki had been uncomfortable with the idea, but after a little talking, he admitted that his discomfort had more to do with himself than anything else. All Might had not only helped him gain custody of his daughter but now also his driver’s license. He just wanted to help out and be a part of his mentor’s grandson’s life. It wasn’t a bad thing, she reminded him, but she knew he was still uncomfortable. Still, it was a step forward.

Instead of reacting like a normal person, Mina gripped Uraraka by the arm. “Wait, so Shigaraki is without a baby and you’re hanging out with me? Girl, what are you doing?”

Uraraka furrowed her brow. “Hanging out with you?”

“Let’s be real for a second,” Mina said dramatically. She took a deep breath. “Have you two ever hung out without Yukiko around?”

“Um…” Uraraka shrugged. “Does her being in another room count?”

“No!” Mina let go of her and slapped a hand over her face. Seriously, Uraraka didn’t see what the big deal was, but she knew better than to question her friend. She likely wouldn’t enjoy the answer. “You two need to spend some time together without the buffer.”

“Buffer?”

Mina planted her hands on her hips. “Yeah, the baby buffer.” That wasn’t what Uraraka would refer to Yukiko as, but Mina seemed very passionate about it. So what if they’d never hung out without Yukiko around? They were friends, and they had become friends through her. “You said he’s hanging out with Todoroki’s brother, right?” Uraraka nodded slowly. “Text him and see if we can join.”

“What?” Uraraka held out her phone to glance at it and shook her head. “No way. That’s ridic- Hey!”

Quick as a thief, Mina snatched her phone out of her hands. Uraraka jumped forward in an attempt to snatch it back, but her so-called best friend was quicker, jumping out of reach and darting across the room as she typed something on the phone. Dread filled Uraraka to the brim. Who knew what Mina was saying? It was akin to giving Touya control of a conversation. By the time she had chased Mina fully around the apartment, her friend had stopped and held out the phone.

“Done,” Mina proclaimed. “Wow, it’s really hard to text and run at the same time. I’ve gotta give it to the villains that do that.”

Uraraka snatched the phone back. “Oh my god, what did you…?”

It took her only a second to find the short conversation between “her” and Shigaraki: Hey, what are you up to?

With Touya at his shithole.
And no I’m not getting drunk this time.

Mind if my bff and I join?

Uraraka’s heart thudded in her chest. She hadn’t even been the one to start the conversation, and she was nervous. Not that she would care if he said no or whatever, but it was embarrassing. She really did try to go out of her way not to push herself too far into Shigaraki’s life. Aside from some text messages here and there, she made it a rule to let him engage first. He was particular about stuff like that. She didn’t want to push him more than he was already pushing himself.

And then Shigaraki’s response finally came as she was staring at her phone: Sure. Do whatever you want. But fair warning, this place sucks.

A part of her was surprised by his near-invitation, but another part of her knew it didn’t mean anything. He would probably take anything over spending another night alone with Touya, who could potentially liquor him up enough to be vulnerable. Maybe he didn’t actually want her to come over, but then again, why would he say she could if he didn’t? Shigaraki wasn’t a liar in that respect. He often spoke his mind, even if it pissed people off.

“So?” Mina prompted.

Uraraka sent off a quick, On our way , text and then pocketed the phone.

“He said the place sucks.”

As if she had fully expected that response, Mina’s lips quirked into a grin. “Awesome. I’m so tired of going to fancy places. I’m ready for a dingy hole in the wall.” She touched up her hair. “Plus, Todoroki’s brother is gonna be there, and he’s hot.”

“Mina!”

“I meant...figuratively?”

Rubbing her temples, Uraraka muttered, “I cannot believe…” She shook her head and threw her hand out in defeat. “You know what? I can, but I’d rather not.”

Giggling, Mina picked up her purse and followed Uraraka out of her apartment to head to the nearest train station. It would’ve been nice to carry a purse or clutch if she didn’t know she would lose it. In the end, it was easier for her to carry all of her cards in a phone case. Plus, she didn’t feel like where they were going was the place for dressing up. It was a good thing she hadn’t tried to put more effort into her appearance. Shigaraki would probably be confused by the hint of makeup alone.

This was ridiculous, wasn’t it? In a matter of minutes, it had gone from a girl's night out at a swanky club to the two of them slumming it in a shithole bar with two former villains. Well, it could’ve been worse, she supposed. She was kind of curious how he would react with her around and no Yukiko, but another part of her knew that he wouldn’t be very different. Shigaraki was an honest person in his own way. He didn’t like to lie unless it benefited him somehow.

Giving her an address to Touya’s bar did not seem like something that would benefit him.

“Please don’t embarrass me by insinuating things,” Uraraka said as they boarded the train. Public transportation had been her preferred mode of traveling since she was a kid. She knew how to drive and even had her license, but she hadn’t worked up the courage to buy a vehicle when it didn’t seem necessary. It was strange to think that he was one step ahead of her.

Mina scoffed. “I would never!”

Uraraka knew better than to believe her best friend. The entire train ride, she eyed the pink girl carefully, only to be distracted once they reached the stop. Something about her was off; she was in too good a mood. The area Touya’s bar was located was pretty sketchy, but like Shigaraki had struggled to find a place to live, Touya had probably found it hard to get a decent job with his appearance until he’d received further help with his scars. No doubt he hated being back in this area, but it was giving him a chance to live, even if it was just a shitty bar.

“I still think this might be a bad idea,” Uraraka murmured. “What if he doesn’t want us there?”

“He responded to you so fast that I got whiplash,” Mina laughed. It wasn’t funny - and he hadn’t replied that fast - but it still made her anxious. Before, there was always a reason for them to be around each other. Yukiko was a great excuse for both of them. She wasn’t here now. No, she was with All Might and probably Deku’s mom, which meant their typical excuse for hanging out was gone.

All that was left was...them.

Well, and Mina and Touya, but Uraraka found it difficult to count them.

“That’s the place?” Mina asked, peering at the address on Uraraka’s phone. “Oh, it doesn’t look bad. I mean, it’s not the hottest new club or anything, but it’s just a bar.” She wasn’t wrong. The building was plain, but the sign wasn’t rusty or broken and there was another sign propped on the ground with drink specials sloppily written on it in chalk. “I think he was just exaggerating because it’s you.”

“Why would he do that? It’s not like I’m used to fancy places.”

Mina smiled. “You’re pretty impressive. Maybe he just doesn’t want you to think he’s trash.”

Uraraka sighed and walked to the door. “You’re so weird.” She paused when her hand was on the door and turned back to her friend. “Don’t say anything embarrassing.”

“I won’t!” Mina insisted, holding her hands up in front of herself and waving.

After eyeing her suspiciously for a moment, Uraraka pushed open the door and stepped into the bar. Her first thought was that it was nowhere near as bad as Shigaraki made it seem. With the way he talked about it sometimes, she had pictured some grimy, dingy, seedy place filled with smoke and smelling of stench while suspicious characters hung around in dark booths. It wasn’t like that at all. The lights might’ve been somewhat dim, but natural light from the setting filtered in. There was no smoke and, while there was a decent group of people, everyone looked normal.

Honestly, it was kind of boring.

“Oh my fucking god, you actually came,” a familiar voice laughed from behind the bar.

Uraraka rolled her eyes in the direction of Touya, who was grinning rather gleefully as he leaned back and polished a glass. “Why wouldn’t I? Because it’s some hole in the wall bar?” She shrugged her shoulders and walked over to the bar, which was empty. “This looks like the place my parents used to go to for a date night.”

“Wow, some date night,” Touya said with a snort.

“The drinks were cheap.” Uraraka laid a hand on the bar, which was much cleaner than she had admittedly expected, and looked around. “Where’s-?”

“Bathroom,” Touya piped up before she could finish the question. He set the glass down next to a bunch of others, none of them matching. “Your text really threw him for a loop. He’s probably in there trying to fix his hair.”

“I was not,” Shigaraki snapped, having materialized upon being mentioned. “Can’t a man piss in peace without being mocked?”

Touya considered it for a moment before shaking his head. “No.”

Mina snorted as she plopped down in a seat and held out a hand. “We’ve not formally met besides, you know, fighting on opposite sides. I’m Mina, the best friend of this dork.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember you,” Touya said, shaking her hand. “Kind of hard to forget all that pink.”

“It’s a gift,” Mina reassured him. She leaned over the bar to wave at Shigaraki. “I almost didn’t recognize you without a baby.”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes and sat back down in his seat. “Yeah, yeah.” Uraraka smiled a little and sat down as well. Even if he was annoyed at the comment, he didn’t seem too angry about it. Plus, he looked good. This was the most relaxed she’d seen him in a long time. There was no tension in his body and, despite snapping at Touya, she kind of got the feeling that he was in a good mood. “Get whatever you want. First round is on me since you actually raised the bar for clientele of this place.”

Mina nudged Uraraka. “Oh, thanks!”

“Don’t thank me. All the drinks are shit here.”

Touya glared. “Hey, I make those drinks - and they are damn good. Kurogiri taught me well.”

“I don’t see how,” Shigaraki replied blandly. “You’ve always been terrible at listening.”

Waving a dismissive hand at him, Touya turned his attention back to Mina and said, “You should get something stupid expensive.”

While Mina and Touya discussed her options, Uraraka turned to Shigaraki, who was swirling an ice cube around his drink. “So another night out without Yukiko and you came back here. You’re really trying to live life on the edge, huh.”

“I might go to a late-night movie,” Shigaraki said, his eyes still on the drink. “I figured a few drinks before wouldn’t hurt.”

“Oh?” Well now, that was unexpected. Maybe Fuyumi had gotten onto him about just finding another place to hang around other than his apartment. Coming here was a lot easier than actually being social and doing something.

“I used to do that a lot when I was younger - just go watch a movie by myself.” He shrugged and pulled his finger out of the glass. “It’s pretty easy to blend in. Just sit in a dark room, watch some expensive action flick that has been out for a month or two, and no one will pay you any attention. Sometimes, I’d just hide out in the bathroom and then walk into another movie after the first one was over. Real villainous shit, I know.”

Uraraka hummed thoughtfully. The idea that he’d gone alone as a kid or teen was kind of...sad. She had always seen the movies as something people did with their friends. “Well, now you don’t have to go to the movies alone. You’ve got people that can go with you.”

Shigaraki arched an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you can ask Kaminari.” Uraraka grinned. “He loves going to the movies.” A look of consternation crossed Shigaraki’s face and he looked away, like he was regretting inviting her here. A bubble of anxiety popped inside her mind. She didn’t even know why she felt this way. It was just a bar. “Hey, if we’re invading your space or whatever, we can leave.”

“No, I-” Shigaraki cleared his throat. “You’re good. That means I’m not stuck alone with his dumb ass.” He pointed to Touya, who was currently making a drink with an extra dramatic flourish. Uraraka fought the urge to giggle. At least Mina was having a good time, “ooh”ing and “aw”ing whenever he pulled off a move. She winced when he dropped a bottle, but at least it didn’t shatter. Shigaraki rubbed his temple. “I didn’t think you’d want to come.”

Uraraka sat up and gestured around them. “And miss out on the beauty of this place? Not a chance.”

“I still think he’s crazy,” Touya jumped in, leaning against the bar.

“Why?” Uraraka asked curiously.

A smirk eased its way onto Touya’s face. “Telling you that you can come here when he should know damn well that every guy here is gonna look at you like you’re a snack.”

While Uraraka flushed bright pink, Shigaraki reached out to smack Touya on the arm and snap, “Stop being such a dick!” Touya took the hit and leaned out of Shigaraki’s reach so he couldn’t be hit again, laughing outright in the face of both their embarrassment. “Goddamn, you’re the worst when you’re in a good mood.”

“Well, it’s true,” Touya insisted cheekily. “They’re both all dolled up. Don’t you think she looks pretty?”

This time, even Mina giggle snorted in her drink. Uraraka glowered at Touya while Shigaraki pressed his lips together and outright refused to answer. “Where’s my drink?”

“You gotta order first,” Touya shot back.

“I’ll just have whatever she has,” Uraraka said, tilting her head in Mina’s direction. Touya nodded and dutifully set to mixing her drink. It was probably a terrible idea to have both him and Mina in the same room together, but she would deal with the consequences later.

Shigaraki cleared his throat. “You do look...nice.” She gave him a look, and he waved a hand at her. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen you dress up before. You just show up…”

“Wearing whatever is comfiest? Like I just came from the gym or rolled out of bed?”

“Pretty much.” Shigaraki glanced at Mina over her shoulder. “She’s the one who texted, right?” Uraraka opened her mouth but then closed it. He wasn’t wrong. She didn’t know how he had figured it out so quickly, but she felt rather sheepish when she nodded in confirmation. “You didn’t have to come.”

“No, I wanted to come - and hang out or whatever.” Uraraka tried to give him a cheery smile that would show how much she meant it. Relaxed as he seemed, there was also something strange in how reserved he was coming off. “It definitely beats going to some annoying, loud-ass club where I can’t even think straight.”

Shigaraki wrinkled his nose. “You sure about that? You could’ve gone someplace where guys bought you drinks all night and tried to take you home.”

Uraraka picked up the drink Touya set down in front of her and fought the urge to smirk before she took a sip and said, “You bought me a drink.”

For a moment, Shigaraki could only look at her - somewhat strangely, she might add - but then he shook his head and picked up his drink. There was nothing he could say in response to that, which meant she got the last word. Maybe it wasn’t much, but she always considered it something of a win when he fought about everything. With that out of the way, she turned slightly so that she was facing forward and jumped into the conversation with Mina and Touya.

She hadn’t been lying. This was already loads better than going to a crowded club.

*

Shigaraki had regretted the message as soon as he sent it, mostly because Touya spent the next thirty minutes being absolutely obnoxious. He also figured out soon after that Uraraka most likely hadn’t been the one to message him. She had known what he was up to, so why would she have asked again? Had it been a joke? A prank?

And then he heard her voice from the bathroom. Okay, so it wasn’t a prank. She was actually here.

Uraraka was here, in Touya’s shithole bar, with what sounded like one of her friends. And, as he found out upon exiting the bathroom to keep Touya from humiliating him, she looked...great. He’d seen her wear her hero costume, gym clothes, and casual wear, but this was different. She wasn’t wearing some slinky club dress or anything like that, but she was obviously dressed up. Even if no one else batted a second eye, he found himself repeatedly drawn to look in her direction.

This was bad. He didn’t know why it was bad, but it was, and he also couldn’t help but shoot Touya pointed looks every now and then. For once, he was actually well-behaved - or as he much as he could be - but then he’d grin lazily in Shigaraki’s direction, and he knew. He might have been acting like he wasn’t a total bastard, but he was.

Luckily, Uraraka’s friend, Ashido, was able to keep up a steady stream of conversation, Touya got pulled away by other customers, and Uraraka was her usual self. Before he realized it, almost two hours had passed and nothing had gone awry. It was strange how casual the whole thing was. By now, Uraraka was used to both him and Touya, but he hadn’t been sure how her friend would react. Fortunately (or perhaps, unfortunately), Ashido came off as even friendlier than Uraraka, which shouldn’t have been possible.

One might even say that Shigaraki was even enjoying himself, especially when Uraraka sassed Touya back, which had him snorting in his drink.

At one point, Uraraka slid off the barstool to find the restroom. He pointed in the general direction and warned, “You’re gonna wanna wash your hands real good after being in there.”

She patted him on the shoulder and dryly replied, “I’m sure I’ll be fine,” before walking off.

Shigaraki watched her walk away and disappear into the bathroom before turning back around, only to find both Touya and Ashido looking at him pointedly. “What?”

A smile appeared on Ashido’s face, and Shigaraki was sure that no matter how much he liked Uraraka, he wasn’t going to be a fan of her best friend. “It’s real cute how much you consider her.”

“Cu-?” Shigaraki scowled and then pointed at Touya, who had started to open his mouth. “Don’t.”

Touya held up his hands. “I didn’t say anything.”

“You were going to say something stupid,” Shigaraki said. Touya hummed noncommittally and bobbed his head, not denying the accusation. The bar itself might’ve been clean because of Touya, but Shigaraki knew for a fact that he rarely touched the bathrooms because of his own aversion to them. Of course he warned her. He was a bastard, but he wasn’t a total asshole.

He also wasn’t prepared for someone practically throwing themselves at the bar where Uraraka had been sitting. At first, he thought it was her and that she might’ve tripped, but then he turned and found some other girl in her place asking, “Can I get another drink?” He moved to scoot away slightly when she turned around and stared at him for a moment. “You look familiar. Do we know each other?”

“No,” Shigaraki replied flatly, further away from her and hoping that would end the conversation.

It did not.

“Are you sure?” She leaned over the bar in an attempt to peer closer at him. “I could’ve sworn I’ve seen you around somewhere.”

Before Shigaraki could insist once more that they did not know each other and she did not know him, one of her friends called out from their table, “Hey! Ask the question!”

“Oh, right!” She blessedly turned back to face Touya, who was mixing another drink, a somewhat wary look in his eyes. The only reason people recognized them in any fashion was because of their history. He was able to work here because his past as a villain worked as a deterrent against fighting and other drunk and disorderly behavior, even if he couldn’t actually do much of anything if a nasty argument broke out. Still, it was rarely ever a good thing when they were recognized. “So my friends and I have been talking, and we couldn’t agree. Has anyone ever told you that you look like that villain, Dabi?”

Touya caught eyes with Shigaraki, who tensely watched his reaction, and then to Ashido, who had turned away to cringe slightly. Then he slowly slid the girl’s drink to her and said, “You know, I get that a lot. It’s kind of annoying, but you get used to the comparison. Makes me seem a lot scarier.”

“See!” the girl exclaimed. “I told you!”

“No way!” her friend groaned.

“Yeah, it’s probably the scars,” Touya continued, sounding more amused, “but his are much worse. I’m just the light version, I suppose.”

It was true in a sense. No amount of medical treatment would fully remove the scarring. He’d undergone enough procedures to heal them to the point where he wasn’t at risk of severe infection and didn’t need the staples any longer, but they would always remain to a degree, just not the ugly purple they had been before. He’d also taken out his piercings and, although Shigaraki hadn’t noticed it until now, was letting his hair grow out red instead of redying it black.

He looked, well, like a Todoroki.

“It’s a shame,” the girl sighed, “because I’d climb that man like a tree.”

Ashido sputtered so hard that she had to put a hand over her mouth to stop herself. Shigaraki jerked away in disgust while Touya simply raised his eyebrows and said, “Oh really?”

“Yeah, ugh, he is so hot. I mean like, attractive-wise, although I’d be down for some temperature play too.” The girl spun the ice in her drink around with a straw as she contemplated. All Shigaraki could do was gawk at her in horror. She wanted to hook up with Dabi? Not Touya Todoroki, but the villain ? “Like I know it’s weird and all since he’s a villain - or...was a villain - but oh my god, the things I’d do to that man. I’d lick him from head to toe. You would not even believe.”

Touya was barely able to suppress a shit-eating grin. “I can’t say that I do. I mean, he was a terrible person, wasn’t he?” Oh, now he was just hamming it up on purpose. Bastard.

“Yeah, but I’d still sleep with him,” the girl said, like it was absolutely nothing. “As if morals have anything to do with that.”

She...wasn’t wrong? Shigaraki tried not to grimace. He hadn’t exactly been thinking about morality when he’d slept with Himura. He wasn’t even sure he’d been thinking at all, but that was life for you. If he hadn’t been thinking with his dick for the first time, he wouldn’t have Yukiko and would probably still be living in that rat-infested apartment and going nowhere with his life. Things happened for a reason. He just wished this wasn’t happening right now. Touya didn’t need an ego.

“But that’s nothing compared to my friend.” The girl laughed and waved one of her friends over, who shyly meandered her way to the bar. “Sara is like obsessed with Shigaraki. Get a few drinks in her, and he’s all she’ll talk about.”

Shigaraki was so busy struggling not to blurt out something rude that he almost missed the awful moment when Touya’s entire face lit up. The last time he’d reacted so brightly had been when Shigaraki had shown up at his and Fuyumi’s place with a baby. No, this was bad. He did not need Touya to hear any of this. He glanced around, but Uraraka hadn’t returned from the bathroom. Shit, he needed to get out of here. This was the last place in the world he wanted to be right now. Maybe he should call All Might and pick Yukiko up early. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. Maybe-

“Uh, what’s going on?”

Jerking around, Shigaraki found Uraraka standing on his other side, eyeing the two girls who were now occupying her former space. She wouldn’t be able to sit down unless she moved them out of the way. It was hard to tell what she was thinking, but mostly, she just looked confused. Before Shigaraki could explain that they should probably leave - he didn’t think he could stay quiet for much longer and he’d only come off as an asshole - it got much worse.

“Weren’t you talking about Shigaraki last night?” the girl asked teasingly. No, no, this wasn’t happening. He had dealt with weird…“fanmail” while in prison, but he’d never had to hear it out loud. He had only read the mail because it got boring in prison and it was a way to occupy his time, but he had forgotten how weird people could be.

He did not want Uraraka to learn about the awful double side of being a villain. She probably dealt with it enough as a female hero.

However, Shigaraki’s horrified silence went unnoticed by the girl’s friend, Sara, who laughed. “Oh yeah, like everyone always goes on about how scary it would be to sleep with him, but wouldn’t that be half the fun? It would be so invigorating compared to so many other guys who are just bland and vanilla.”

“You mean that he could possibly kill you with one wrong touch?” Touya added. “Gets too in the moment and…poof!” He blew out a gust of air and mimicked a minor explosion with his hands. Shigaraki glared furiously at Touya, who refused to look at him, his focus entirely on the two girls while Ashido continued to hold a hand over her mouth. Those assholes were enjoying this far too much. “I guess fear is kind of a turn-on for some people.”

“It really is!” the Sara girl exclaimed. A smirk, which could only spell doom, slid onto her face. “Plus, who said anything about him having to touch me? I could just tie him up and have my way with him.”

“Oh wow!” Ashido said, barely stifling a laugh. “Sounds kinky.”

“Right?”

Touya smirked. “Who knows? A former villain like him might be into being a little bad in bed.”

All Shigaraki wanted to do was put his face in his hands, or maybe drop it on the bar. This could not be happening. He had just come here for a few drinks before doing something else. He was having a pretty good time with Uraraka. Why did very open villain fuckers have to be here? Granted, this bar catered to some shady people, so they were in the right place, but did it have to be them? Luckily, the women were a little too buzzed to notice him. But he wasn’t near drunk enough to miss them.

Uraraka cleared her throat. “Um, can you all move? That’s my seat.”

Both girls turned to her as if only now registering that there were people at the bar other than themselves and Touya. Thank everything they’d started to ignore him, but at the sound of Uraraka’s voice, their eyes landed on him again. He propped an elbow on the bar and lifted a hand to cover his face. If they recognized him or figured out why he looked so familiar, there was a chance he would disintegrate the ground just to have a hole swallow him and take him out of this conversation.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sorry.”

The girls stepped aside and Uraraka slid in their place, hopping back onto the stool and tersely replying in a very obviously fake cheerful voice, “Thanks.” He tilted his head just enough to eye her curiously. Well now. He’d never heard that tone from her before. Even when they’d dealt with that apartment manager who hadn’t wanted to rent out to a (former) villain, she hadn’t been fake nice. That right there? That was a sign of aggression, even if it was passive.

It was interesting, to say the least - or it would’ve been had the conversation not continued.

“Hey, actually,” the Sara girl said, butting her way in between Shigaraki and Uraraka and nearly knocking her off the stool. “You kind of look like Shigaraki too. Doesn’t he?”

“I thought he looked familiar!” the first girl said. She looked at Touya, who was trying to seem innocent and utterly failing, then back to Shigaraki, who was trying to meet Uraraka’s eyes. However, she was too busy giving Sara a strange look. “It’s kind of a weird coincidence, isn’t it?”

“You’re not as rough-looking as Shigaraki,” Sara added thoughtfully, looking at him far too closely for his taste, “but you’re still pretty hot.”

How the hell was he supposed to respond to that? Thanks? Just ignore it? Snap at her to leave? He didn’t fucking know. He’d faced villains, heroes, the police, and even his mentor - but he had absolutely no idea what to say to that. This was an entirely new level of fuckery that he couldn’t comprehend. Who just said shit like that? He couldn’t take it. If either of these girls said one more thing about wanting to fuck a villain or Touya egged it on further, he was likely to lose his shit, and he did not need that. This was supposed to be a stress-free night. Ge was pretty fucking stressed out right now.

“Say,” she continued, laying a hand on his arm and smiling, “how do you feel about being tied up?”

Nope, he was done. That was the final nail in the coffin. He couldn’t deal with this without exploding and turning something in dust, and he couldn’t act out like that.

“Not a fan,” Shigaraki grunted in response as he slid off his stool and away from her touch. He pulled out his wallet and threw a handful of cash at Touya, who had the audacity to chuckle. “I gotta get out of here.”

“Aw.” Sara pouted as Touya and Ashido actively snickered. “Where ya going?”

“Somewhere not here,” Shigaraki snapped, not caring if he was being rude or not. Uraraka had sat up stiffly, her mouth still partly open from where she’d been about to say something. He didn’t think - he didn’t consider his actions - he just grabbed her hand and pulled her off the stool, forcing the two...villain fuckers to step back even more. He wasn’t about to leave her here to listen to this shit. It was humiliating. He’d been involved in a lot of weird shit, but this was too much. “Let’s go.”

“I-” Uraraka blinked, but she didn’t fight him as he tugged her toward the door. “My drinks-”

“He covered you,” Touya piped up, waving the cash in the air. He leaned against the bar, shooting a grin at Shigaraki as he stomped out of the bar. “Sorry, ladies, he’s quite taken. I, on the other hand-”

The door fell shut behind Uraraka, cutting off whatever ridiculous statement Touya was about to make. If he wanted to ride the coattails of his former villain glory days, he was free to do so, but Shigaraki couldn’t stomach it. People were so fucking weird . He honestly hadn’t thought about it much when he was a villain. There had been no time when so much shit was going down and, well, he didn’t always have easy access to simple things like the internet.

However, after Sako offhandedly mentioned having fans one time, he got curious. Of course he wanted to see what people were thinking about them. After all, he wanted to provoke reactions from the public. He just hadn’t anticipated them being those kinds of reactions. He’d spent an entire night spiraling down a hole of forums and threads, only to close his laptop when the sun rose so he wouldn’t disintegrate it. Some of the shit people said on there was downright vile. He wanted to grimace just thinking about it.

“Uh, you okay?” Uraraka prompted.

Shigaraki came to a halt and rubbed his temple with his free hand. “Yeah, I just- I couldn’t stay in there.” 

His eyes were on the ground, but he caught a glimpse of her behind him and froze. He’d grabbed her hand - and was still holding it. Maybe it wasn’t a huge deal, but he wasn’t wearing his gloves. His pinky was lifted away from her hand, her own mirroring him exactly. Like it was nothing. Like it was normal. Like she wasn’t even thinking about it. The habit came to them both naturally.

It occurred to him that he hadn’t done this with anyone since before his quirk manifested. A brief memory of Hana holding his hand flashing through his mind and he quickly let go.

Uraraka pulled her hand away, her fingers curling inward, but before he could say anything, she lightly teased, “Embarrassed?”

He could tell by her tone that she was gauging him, like she didn’t know how to react to his abrupt departure and dragging her out. Also, there was a chance that she sensed his tension when he let go of her hand and was trying to diffuse it. If he couldn’t handle a joke right now, she would back off, but if he could, maybe it would lighten the mood. It wasn’t fear so much as wariness, but it still kind of made him feel like shit. He had reacted sharply.

Dropping his hand and turning back to face her, he admitted, “I forgot how weird some people were about villains. Touya always thought it was funny, but then, he used to play stupid jokes by sending fucked up shit to Endeavor.”

“He has an unusual sense of humor,” Uraraka said. “That’s for sure.”

“It’s normal for heroes to have groupies or whatever,” Shigaraki continued, frustration building up inside of him again. He peered at her out of the corners of his eyes. “I mean, you probably get a ton of weirdos sending you stuff.”

Uraraka flushed and rubbed the back of her neck, averting her eyes from him. “Not as much as like, Momo, Mina, or Tsu - but yeah, I get a few things here and there.” She smiled awkwardly. “I don’t stand out as much as them, so it’s not too bad.”

“Huh?” Shigaraki frowned. “You’re way more attractive than them.”

“Ha!” Uraraka laughed before clamping a hand over her mouth. Her cheeks were even pinker than before, but then again, they usually were thanks to those little spots. Maybe it was a result of the alcohol too, although he had only seen her have three drinks. “I’m pretty plain compared to them and not as flashy. Not that I’m complaining! They have some unusual admirers. It’s probably a good thing that I don’t.” She shook her head. “Besides, I’m pretty sure what you got was way worse. People that want to, uh...sleep with villains are kind of intense in their own way.”

“They’re fucked up. You can admit it. I’ll admit it. No one should’ve wanted to tie me up and have their way with me or whatever back then!” He made a face and huffed in disgust. To be honest, the two women at the bar hadn’t been that bad. He’d read some extraordinarily explicit shit on the internet and the mail he received while in jail. The worst ones had to be when they didn’t seem to mind if his quirk took off parts of them. Seriously, what was wrong with people? “It’s weird thinking that some people were more...into me when I was a villain than now.”

“Yeah, it is, but everyone has their kinks, I guess. I’m neither here to judge nor shame them.”

Shigaraki snorted in disbelief. “Oh yeah? What was up with your attitude at the bar then?”

Uraraka put her hands on her hips. “I didn’t have an attitude.”

“Yeah, you did.” He allowed a faint grin to cross his face. “You looked like you were a second away from launching one of them into space.”

“They were in my way and interrupting our conversation!” Uraraka insisted. “And they were obviously making you uncomfortable, so of course I didn’t want them around.”

“Coming to my aid like a true hero, huh?”

“Oh, stop being an ass. You’re the one who ran and dragged me out of there like someone lit a fire under you.”

She moved to poke him in the chest, but he was quicker, snatching her hand before she could make contact and dismissively telling her, “If you wanna go back in there and listen to them talk about their villain kinks, be my guest.”

“Ugh, no thanks.” Uraraka groaned as she fished her phone out of her pocket with her free hand. “But I did leave Mina there, so I- Oh, she texted me a few minutes ago.”

He could’ve easily leaned over and read the message on the screen while she did, but he didn’t. Instead, he let go of her hand so she could text back. The conversation was quick, her expression changing from slightly furrowed brows to mild surprise, then to her lips pressed in a thin line of suspicion in a matter of a minute. She was so damn expressive, but at least it made it easier to read her, even if he wasn’t quite sure what it meant.

“She begging you to come back and save her from Touya?” Shigaraki asked.

“Actually, uh, she told me to leave her?”

That took Shigaraki back. “What? Why?”

“She said she’s fine. Touya apparently promised her free food and drinks if she keeps those villain...fans from mauling him. After you left, they focused on him a lot more than he anticipated.” Uraraka’s fingers hovered over her screen, but instead of texting back, she locked it and slid it back into her snug-fitting jeans. “She, um, said we should hang out? But we don’t have to!” She waved her hands frantically. “I’m basically intruding on your entire night, and I know you wanted to go to the movies, so-”

“Okay, then come with me.”

“Eh?” Uraraka stared at him. “Are you sure?”

“Nah, I’d much rather go to the movies alone on a Friday night and look like a sad sop.” It wasn’t sad, and he didn’t particularly care about what other people thought of him in that regard, but if he had to choose between going by himself or someone he liked, even he would choose the latter. He wasn’t a complete loner. Hell, he’d even go with Touya. “Unless there’s something else you’d rather do.”

Uraraka bit her lip to refrain from smiling too much. “Giving me options, huh?”

Shigaraki waved a hand. “Who said I was going to do anything else with you? I could always just go to the movies by myself while you went clubbing.”

“That’s so disappointing,” Uraraka sighed dramatically. “I really wanted to dance with you too.” He tensed up, unsure of how to respond, but she just laughed and started to walk away. “C’mon, there can’t be too many showings left at this hour. We don’t want to miss them all.” She shot him a look over her shoulder. “Unless you wanna go back in there for a good time.”

“Hell no,” Shigaraki said quite emphatically as he caught up to walk beside her. His one bar hookup was enough to last him the rest of his life, and apparently, it had even been with a villain groupie, since Himura had known who he was from the start. He wasn’t about to do anything like that again.

No, next time he did anything close to that, it would have to be with someone he trusted, someone he’d like for more than one night, and, well, he guessed someone that meant something. It was a weird thought, but not a totally impossible one anymore, he supposed. The idea of hooking up with anyone at a bar when he had to pick up Yukiko in the morning made him uncomfortable. He didn’t want to do something that felt so hollow and meaningless. If he ever wanted to try dating - and shit, that was a concept he hadn’t considered before she came around - he had to consider how it would affect her too. 

He glanced at Uraraka while they looked through movie showings on his phone. She tapped her lip as she thought about which one would be the most interesting, a concentrated yet soft expression on her face, and it felt like his chest couldn’t decide whether to clench up or completely relax.

His first priority had to be Yukiko. Whatever else he wanted - whatever it might be - had to come second. Right?

Chapter 30: the world's a stage, and sometimes you're the clown

Notes:

This chapter has been a long time coming. And oh boy, the shitstorm that happens... Honestly, as strange as it sounds, the last scene was really cathartic to write. I needed that. Uraraka needed that. But also, from the bottom of my heart, yikes.

Chapter Text

“You have to get out of the bouncer.”

“No.”

“I have to change you.”

“No!”

“You shit, and it’s going to explode everywhere if you– Stop fucking bouncing!”

No!”

Why had Shigaraki ever thought he wanted his daughter to talk? Yukiko could only say a few words, but she repeated the ones she did know often and emphatically. She could say both “yes” and “no”, but the latter was definitely her preferred word. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, fighting the urge to throw the diaper in the air and call it a day. A few months ago, he could simply pull Yukiko out of the swing and change her diaper with minimal fuss.

Now she could tell him no and would cling to the edges for dear life. He didn’t know how a baby under one had such a tight grip, but his neighbors must’ve thought he was trying to shove poison down her throat from the way she argued with him about everything. Sometimes, she was absolutely perfect, an angel, the most behaved child he could imagine; and other times, she fought him like she was actual demon spawn from hell.

He’d blame Himura’s genes, but that one was probably on him.

“Okay, that’s it.” Shigaraki walked over to the coffee table to drop the diaper on the floor and picked up his worn-out gloves.

The moment she spotted him tugging them on, Yukiko started to jump wildly in the bouncer and cried out, “No, Dada, no!”

“Yes, Dada, yes,” Shigaraki practically snarled back.

Yukiko glared at him as viciously as a near eleven-month-old baby could, and he stuck his tongue out. It was practically a game to them by now. She knew whenever he put his gloves on that he meant business. She could flail about dramatically in his hands when he wasn’t wearing them, forcing him to set her down, to which she’d frantically (and gleefully) crawl away from him. With the gloves on, she couldn’t escape from him, and she got so mad when she wasn’t in the mood to be held or picked up.

Shit, she had fucking moods . Back when she’d been little more than the “wiggle worm” that Touya called her, Shigaraki hadn’t even fathomed it. He couldn’t imagine her as a person with likes and dislikes other than sleeping less than one foot from him and eating. He didn’t think about what her personality would be like or what her voice would sound like. However, now that she was starting to assert herself more, he found himself at a strange loss.

This baby would grow into a toddler, into a child, into a teenager, into an adult .

How the fuck was he supposed to handle that? The thought made him want to flip out.

Slipping his hands underneath her chubby arms, Shigaraki pulled her out of the bouncer. Yukiko valiantly tried to hold on, screaming as she did so, but he was a grown-ass man and stronger than her. After maneuvering her feet out of the holes for her legs, he freed her from the confines of the bouncer and held her in the air triumphantly while she kicked and screamed. She literally smelled like shit, so he had to change her no matter how much she protested.

“Would you stop fighting?” Shigaraki grumbled as he transferred her to the floor. She continued to wiggle and complain despite his words as he unbuttoned her onesie and took off her diaper. “This would be over so much quicker if you simply didn’t move– Stop! You’re gonna get shit everywhere!”

“No!” Yukiko screamed, lifting her now bare, shit-covered ass in the air.

“Yes!” Shigaraki insisted as he wiped her clean despite her protests. Of course, at this exact moment, a loud bang on his front door had to interrupt him. Someone always showed up when he was changing her diaper. It never fucking failed. Fuck, he never felt weirder than when he was doing this. He’d killed people, for fuck’s sake, and now he was wiping a baby’s ass. “ What ?”

“Are you murdering your child in there?” Touya’s voice called from the other side.

Shigaraki smirked to himself. “Can’t break in here, can you?”

“Just for that, I’m getting a mold and copying your key.”

Dropping the smirk and grumbling under his breath, Shigaraki finished changing Yukiko’s diaper and set her loose. He didn’t even bother buttoning up her onesie again. He’d have to change her into a sleeper soon anyways. She rolled onto her stomach and then crawled behind the couch while he pulled himself to his feet and answered the front door with a simple, “What the fuck do you want?”

Touya unceremoniously shoved a magazine into his chest before brushing past him and walking into the apartment. “Congrats, you’ve made the headlines again.”

“What the–?” Shigaraki grabbed the magazine and looked down at the cover. The blood drained from his face once he spotted the picture. “Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah, ‘oh fuck’ is right.” Touya looked around the room, but Shigaraki was too busy gawking at the magazine in the doorway. “Where is–? Ah, there she is. What are you doing trying to climb the bookcase? Trying to kill yourself? I would too if I had to live with him again.”

Shigaraki slammed the door shut. “What the fuck? What do I…?”

“To hell if I know,” Touya quipped. Shigaraki dragged his eyes from the magazine to stare at him. He held Yukiko in his hands, lifting her high in the air and then back down like she was some sort of exercise tool, up and down, up and down. “What I do know is that things are about to get awkward as fuck. Remember after everyone found out my identity?”

“Yeah, because you shouted it out in the middle of a fight like the melodramatic bastard you are.”

Touya shrugged, but he didn’t deny the description either. “It was all those hero gossip magazines could talk about for months: the Number One Hero and his wayward, villain son. I thought it was so funny when people were talking about him in those things until it turned to me: ‘What Happened to Touya Todoroki?’ How they managed to find pictures of me in middle and high school when not even Fuyumi could is beyond me.”

“You looked like an angry, little gremlin,” Shigaraki said.

“I know,” Touya sighed. “Not one of my better looks.” He crouched to set Yukiko back on the floor. She wobbled on her feet for a moment, standing on her own without any support, and then plopped on her ass. Good thing the diaper could cushion her fall. “This though? This is way more embarrassing.”

Shigaraki groaned and dragged himself over to the couch. Throwing the magazine onto the table, he dropped onto the couch and wished it could swallow him whole. At the beginning of whatever this was with Uraraka – this babysitting gig turned friendship – he had asked her how she would feel if the public found out about her helping a reformed villain, but when nothing happened, he kind of forgot about it, or at least pushed it to the back of his mind. He’d known it would happen eventually, but he’d acted like it never would if he didn’t acknowledge it.

He glared at the magazine. The time for that was over.

On the front page of the trashy magazine, not even a story buried among others, was a picture of him and Uraraka after they’d left Touya’s bar last week. It was obviously him, his face turned so that his camera was in clear view, and obviously Uraraka, her face familiar and known. A picture of them in public together was bad enough, but the person had managed to snap a picture right when he’d snatched her hand before she could poke him in the chest. They were close to one another, less than a foot apart, and he was grinning down at her while she was gazing up at him with a challenging but amused look on her face.

That wasn’t even mentioning the cheesy ass title in big bold type: Star-Crossed Lovers: Is Uravity dating the former leader of the League of Villains?

No, no, no, this could not be happening. They weren’t dating – that was ridiculous – but then again, that picture did not help the cause. He looked… Fuck, he looked really happy. His smile wasn't sharp or cruel like he was used to seeing in pictures of himself. Instead, it was an honest-to-fuck content grin. He couldn’t even deny it because he had been happy to leave the bar, be near her, and tease her.

“You should see the pictures inside,” Touya said as he stood up. “They’re adorable .”

Shigaraki didn’t want to see the pictures, but he leaned forward and snatched the magazine so he could flip through the pages until he landed on the cover story. The urge to disintegrate the magazine flooded his mind, but he waded through the waters to look at the pictures and read. He’d been in these things before, but never like this. It had always been for his acts of villainy and, later on, what the media (and his lawyer) described as vigilantism, and then his trial.

These pictures were painfully bland. There was another photo from that night at the bar, this one of him dragging her down the sidewalk, her hand in his, their pinkies held out, as he purposefully strode away. He hadn’t seen her face since he was too lost in his head, but she was biting her lip to keep from laughing, a bright look in her eyes as she focused on him. There was a picture of them at the park from a few days ago: her sitting in a swing with Yukiko in her lap while he leaned against the bar to their side, one arm across his chest while he gestured with his other hand and talked.

Somehow, the most damning picture wasn’t even the ones that made it look like they were casually holding hands. It was a smaller one taken while they’d been eating out somewhere. Uraraka was playfully making a silly face at Yukiko, who was laughing in delight and reaching out for her with one hand while she gripped onto one of Shigaraki’s fingers with the other. He was leaning in his seat, an elbow propped on the table and the side of his face resting against his knuckles as he watched the exchange with the softest expression ever.

“You look ridiculous,” Touya burst out, “like you’re–”

“Do not fucking finish that sentence if you wanna leave here alive,” Shigaraki snapped.

Touya smirked. “You’d really kill Yukiko’s favorite person in the world? I don’t think so.”

At this point, Shigaraki didn’t know what he was going to do. His mind went blank as he forced himself to read the small article. Most of the writing involved pure speculation. They had more pictures than answers and no direct quotes. There were a few unnamed sources, quotes from people who witnessed the interactions, and a few guesses about what might be going on between them, but the theories ranged from absurd to downright insulting.

Grunting in disgust, Shigaraki ripped a glove off and clenched the magazine in a fist. Both he and Touya watched as it disintegrated and turned into a pile of ashes on the table. His eyes flickered over to Yukiko, who had pulled herself onto her feet using the table and was staring at the ashes. Discomfort gnawed at the back of his mind, and his stomach turned. She looked fascinated. He’d never used his quirk around her before, maybe subconsciously concerned that she would be afraid of it.

“One down, a shit ton more to go before Uraraka sees it if she hasn’t already,” Touya said.

Shigaraki pressed two fingers against his temple to work out a headache. “She would’ve said something if she did, right? She would’ve texted me.” He grabbed his phone and checked it, but there were no texts or missed calls from her. Then again, she was at work right now, so she might not have her phone on her. He sank back into the couch. “They already brought up how this might affect her rank.”

“Yeah, well, my dad’s rank didn’t falter despite the rumors about spousal and child abuse,” Touya dismissed, sounding only a tad bitter.

As much as Shigaraki wanted to believe him, he knew things were different for her. They’d briefly talked about how much her breakup with Bakugou had thrown her into the gossip spotlight, but this was far worse. She was being accused of dating a man who had once terrorized Japan and even tried to kill her. The media would go into a frenzy. And it wasn’t even true. They weren’t dating. There had to be a boatload of guys who would kill to date her. She wouldn’t date him.

“You look cute as hell in those pictures,” Touya joked.

“Would you shut up?”

“Holding hands, going to the park, having dinner together. Did you push her on the swing too?” Touya grinned. “Seriously, you three looked more like a family than mine did.” He gestured vaguely around the apartment. “All you need are some family photos around here.”

Fucking asshole. Did he have to rub it in so much? He thought this was so funny, but as humiliating as it was, there were also problems that could arise. This would affect her rank, which would affect her pay and possibly even her position at the agency she worked at. What if Ryukyu didn’t like the idea of her almost second-in-command hanging around a former villain? What if it became a mark against her record or something?

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Shigaraki didn’t like the fact that there were cameras following him around, but he was more irritated by the fact that Yukiko’s picture had been printed as well. He probably should accept the fact that the public eye would always be interested in him – after all, he was a very polarizing figure – but he didn’t want her dragged into his shit too. It was inevitable, but he didn’t like it. He also wasn’t a fan of what they were already insinuating about Uraraka. It pissed him off.

Touya didn’t answer him at first, rubbing his jaw where he was still covered in light scarring. “What do you want to do? I mean, it’s not the truth. Is it?”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you did go on that date with her–”

“It wasn’t a date!” Shigaraki cut in, willing his face not to turn red. It would’ve been more in anger than embarrassment, but Touya would mock him for it anyways. He laid a gloved hand over his face, reaching out to brush his fingers through Yukiko’s soft hair when she grabbed his leg and started to jump. “It doesn’t matter what I want. This is an invasion of privacy and fucking stupid for me, but for her, it could seriously affect her livelihood.”

“And what are you gonna do if she thinks the cost of hanging around you is too high?” Touya asked.

Yukiko laughed and smiled, gripped his pants and jumping excitedly as she babbled something that was starting to sound more and more like, “Ura! Ura!”

“Then I make do,” Shigaraki said. “I’m not gonna force her to be in my life – or force me or Yukiko into hers. If being around me is too damaging to her career – and let’s be honest, it probably is – then she should consider herself first. She doesn’t owe me anything. She’s not obligated to be in Yukiko’s life.”

Touya whistled. “So cold. Sure you can manage that? You’ve grown awfully close with her, Yukiko as well. She’d be so sad.”

“Yukiko isn’t even a year old,” Shigaraki said flatly. “She’d forget Uraraka in time.”

But he wouldn’t, and he hated how much that frustrated him. Maybe he couldn’t burn a bridge as well as Touya (who wasn’t as good as he thought either), but he knew how to cut people out of his life. He’d done it before; he could do it again. If it meant protecting Yukiko, he’d do whatever he had to do to ensure she came out of this fine. He couldn’t tell Uraraka how to feel about this. It wasn’t up to him what she decided to do either.

Shaking his head, Touya pocketed his hands. “Just wait until her ex-boyfriend sees this. You’re gonna have one pissed off hero on your ass.”

“Fuck,” Shigaraki groaned, dropping his head back against the couch. He’d dealt with Ground Zero once before already; he did not want to do that again.

*

Uraraka was minding her own business, typing up a report about stopping an attempted robbery of a grocery store, when something slapped loudly on her desk and startled her out of her thoughts. At first, she thought it might’ve been one of the other heroes trying to push a case on her, but when she turned around in her seat, she found herself staring at a magazine instead.

A magazine with her and Shigaraki on the cover suggesting that they were dating.

And then she lifted her head to meet a familiar pair of red eyes glaring down at her, his lips twisted into a frown, and his arms folded across his chest in indignation.

“We need to talk,” Bakugou announced through gritted teeth.

Swiping the magazine off the desk, Uraraka looked around the room. While her colleagues were doing their best to pretend that they were minding their own business, she saw one of the civilian employees duck behind a cubicle when she glanced in their direction. Everyone knew her history with Bakugou. They also knew about their breakup and how it had been everywhere in the tabloids. He’d not stepped foot in this agency in two years, but here he was in the flesh, anger simmering under his skin.

Returning her attention to him, Uraraka hissed, “What are you doing here?”

“I just told you–”

“I know, I know,” Uraraka snapped. “But here? Seriously?” When Bakugou didn’t respond out loud and continued to glare, she glared at him right back. His body language might’ve screamed anger, but she’d dated him long enough to translate it. He wasn’t angry with her – not completely, at any rate. She took a deep breath and stood up. “Fine, whatever, we can talk, but not here. Let’s take this outside. I’m gonna need some air for this anyways.”

Rolling up the magazine so no one could see it (if they hadn’t already), Uraraka slammed her laptop shut and then turned on her heels to storm in the direction of the elevator. As much as she did not want to deal with Bakugou’s bullshit, she knew there was no avoiding it either. The best option would be to deal with him head-on, as she always had, and then figure out what to do about this or if there was even anything she could or should do. She’d been in the eye of the tabloids before; she could weather it again.

One lone person stood out, a young sidekick who had graduated from Shiketsu only a year ago. She took one look at Uraraka and then Bakugou trailing behind her and asked, “Ah, Uravity, are you–?”

“I’m fine,” Uraraka cut in. She turned to the girl and smiled. The sidekick might not have been around for the shit show that was the breakup and fallout after, but she at least stepped up when the rest of her colleagues did not. Maybe they knew she could take care of herself and didn’t want their involvement, but she still appreciated the girl’s attempt since her discomfort was obvious. “I’ll be back shortly. If Ryukyu asks where I am, can you tell her that I’ve taken a brief break?”

The sidekick bowed slightly. “Of course.”

“Thanks.” Uraraka jabbed the button for the elevator and then stepped inside before the doors even finished opening. She pressed the button for the roof, figuring it would be the most private area. The last thing she needed was for the paparazzi to see her and Bakugou together, especially after this story. They would have a field day with speculating.

The entire ride up, she refused to even look at Bakugou, forcing him to wait until she was ready. She saw him open his mouth once from the corners of her eyes, but when she didn’t budge, he grunted and looked away. He was probably angry now, but she didn’t care. He could be angry. She was angry too. It had been over a year since they’d seen each other outside of brief glimpses when their jobs forced them to cross paths or be in the same room.

However, just because she was over him and wasn’t upset about their breakup anymore did not mean she wanted to be around him – and he didn’t have the right to barge into her life unannounced.

When the doors opened, she strode out of the elevator ahead of him. Back when they were dating, if their schedules had been particularly hectic, he’d visit her at work so they could have lunch together. Usually, he’d bring something that he cooked, and they would eat together on the roof. It had been sweet. During the last few months of their relationship, the impromptu lunch dates stopped, and she didn’t see him as much even though they’d lived together.

As soon as she shoved the door open and stepped onto the roof, Bakugou, as usual, exploded. “What the hell are you thinking, Ochako? Hanging around Tomura fucking Shigaraki? Going on dates with him? Stepping out in public with him and his kid like you’re some sort of family?”

“I’m thinking,” Uraraka began slowly, turning around to face him with a hard glint in her eyes, “that it’s none of your goddamn business.”

“Did you forget who he is?” Bakugou demanded. “What he’s done? What he’s capable of?”

“No, of course not,” Uraraka said, “but I’m also not gonna ignore the fact that he served the time he was given and is doing everything he can to improve his life.” She put her hands on her hips, refusing to budge on the matter even when Bakugou scoffed and rolled his eyes. “He is! What’s the point of people serving time for their crimes if we’re gonna keep holding it over their heads after?”

“He’s killed people!”

“So have you!” Uraraka retorted, the words slipping from her before she could think about them.

Bakugou flinched. She winced but didn’t apologize. The fact was that heroes sometimes killed villains during takedowns. They tried to avoid casualties, but it happened. He hadn’t meant to kill anyone, but like it or not, his quirk was incredibly dangerous and powerful. It had messed him up and was a low blow on her end, but she’d forgotten how easily she could get riled up. As much as she wanted to take the words back, she couldn’t, and she wouldn’t apologize for it either. The time for that was over.

She had spent a lot of time and energy placating Bakugou whenever he got worked up, but she wasn’t going to do it any longer.

“You’re not even gonna deny it?” Bakugou asked.

Uraraka huffed. “We’re not dating. You should know better than to trust the tabloids.”

“So you were just holding hands with him as friends?” Bakugou retorted. “Because I remember doing something pretty similar.”

“We weren’t really holding hands. He was pulling me out of Touya’s bar because of some weird girls–”

Bakugou’s eyebrows shot up. “Touya? You mean Dabi ? Oh, cool, so you’re also hanging around Todoroki’s bastard villain brother – the one that kidnapped me personally. That’s even better. You’re really surrounding yourself with great people.”

“God forbid people try to move on and improve their lives for the better,” Uraraka shot back scathingly, unable to help herself. “We should all just linger on the past and either hate someone for the rest of their lives for what they did or drown in our misery because we don’t deserve more.”

“He fucking kidnapped me, and Shigaraki plotted it!” Bakugou snapped, so viciously that Uraraka almost took a step back. She didn’t. She held her ground and pressed her lips together into a thin line. “They killed people! I don’t give a shit that they went all vigilante and started taking out other villains or that they served a few pathetic years in prison or they’re in therapy for the fucked up shit that happened to them.” He pointed a finger at her. “ You shouldn’t be around them. They’re bad news, and they’re going to drag you down, especially Shigaraki.”

“I’m not asking you to give a shit about them. You don’t have to like them. You can hate them all you want and never forgive them. That’s fine.” Uraraka looked him straight in the eyes, refusing to back down. She hadn’t when they were younger or when they were dating or right after they broke up, and she wouldn’t now. “But I don’t have to give a shit about what you think or want either. You don’t have any say in what I do with my life or who I have in it–”

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do!”

“Yes, you are!” Uraraka exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. “You’ve always acted like you know best and what’s right. You’re smarter than me! Stronger! You’re a better hero!”

Bakugou flushed red. “That’s not what I’m–”

“No, you’re just gonna barge into my workplace and scold me for hanging out with Shigaraki,” Uraraka cut in mockingly, her cheeks equally red. “You’re gonna tell me that he’s still a bad person, that being around him will affect my hero rank, that he’s a bad influence, and I’m making a mistake. And then I’ll suddenly be like, ‘Wow, you’re right, Katsuki, thank you for showing me the light, I’ll drop him from my life right now.’ Because you’re always right. It’s your way or no way at all, and that’s final. There’s no discussion. There’s no compromise. There’s nothing with you!”

For a moment, Bakugou didn’t say anything. He stared back at her, his mouth parted and eyes wide with both shock and anger. In all the times they had argued (and they had, contrary to what people believed about their relationship or what she was capable of), Uraraka had done her best to never yell at him. Snap? Sure. Snark? Definitely. Argued with him passionately? Of course. But she tried really hard not to yell, even if he didn’t have the same courtesy. She never considered his yelling to be intimidating, just his preferred volume, and he got better about it with age.

Maybe she shouldn’t have brushed it off so many times. They might not be here now. Things had fallen apart and soured between them, but he had still been a huge part of her life, and he had been a friend before she fell in love with him. In a way, a part of her missed that friendship far more than she ever would their relationship, but things did not look to be going down that path.

Finally, Bakugou’s shoulders dropped, and he looked down at the ground. “I don’t want to tell you what to do with your life, Ochako. You deserve… You deserve a lot more than I could ever give you.” He clenched one of his hands into a fist. “And you’re right. I get it in my head that I’m right and everyone has to follow me, but what I did with you was wrong. I know that now. I knew it when we broke up, and you moved out. I couldn’t chase after you because if I did, we’d be in the same boat. You wanted something, and I thought that eventually you’d see my decision was better. It was...really fucking shitty of me.”

“Yeah, it was,” Uraraka agreed, refusing to give him an inch. “You could’ve just outright told me that you didn’t want to have kids with me. It would’ve saved us a lot of time.”

Bakugou snapped his gaze back to her. “That’s not what it was. It wasn’t you.”

“You sure?” Uraraka waved a hand. “If we’re going to go by what the tabloids say these days, you and Kirishima are considering adoption. Congratulations, by the way.”

“That quote was taken out of context, and you know it. That’s not what I meant.” Bakugou furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry, okay? I fucked up. I strung you along, and I shouldn’t have done that, but if I’d known you were going to latch onto the first guy with a baby–”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Uraraka gawked at Bakugou in disbelief. “You’re not, are you?”

“What else does it look like?” Bakugou asked, holding out his hands. “I just– I don’t want you to throw your entire career down the drain because–”

“Because I got baby fever so bad that I completely brushed aside the fact that Shigaraki was a former villain so I could play mom after you rejected my dreams so harshly and then moved on with someone else to start a family?”

Bakugou dropped his hands. “I guess, yeah.”

Uraraka could barely breathe; she was so angry. Of course she knew what it looked like. She knew Deku and Mina had worried about the same thing. It was true that she had desperately wanted kids, but that had absolutely nothing to do with Shigaraki or Yukiko. It didn’t. She hadn’t even known if she would ever see them again after that night. And when she had offered to help him again after he called her, it hadn’t been so she could insinuate herself in Yukiko’s life. That was so utterly selfish and gross that she didn’t even know what to say.

“Go,” Uraraka managed to ground out.

Rubbing his forehead, Bakugou started, “Ochako–”

“No, you don’t get to talk about this anymore because I’m done,” Ochako interrupted hotly. “You don’t know anything about my life. Maybe you hear bits from Mina or the others – and I honestly don’t care about that – but you don’t know shit about this.” She tried not to clench her hands into fists, but there was also a chance that she would slap the hell out of him if she didn’t. “Yukiko means so much more to me than that. She’s not just some-some fill-in for the kid I couldn’t have with you. She’s important, not because she fills some maternalistic instincts in me or whatever, but because she simply is.”

Sighing in frustration, Bakugou dropped his hand. “Okay, and I get that. You helped him out and ended up getting attached to her.” She opened her mouth, but he didn’t stop. “And that’s understandable. You care about people so deeply, and you’ve always given people your all no matter what.” He pointed at the rolled-up magazine in her hand. “But that thing you’ve got with Shigaraki? It’s only going to end badly for you. It might be embarrassing for him, but this could destroy your career. You understand that, right?”

“Yeah.” Uraraka took a deep breath, trying to calm down her frantically beating heart. She forced herself to speak softer again. All that yelling and being worked up had honestly exhausted her. How had he always managed to be so loud and angry all the time? “Yeah, I do.”

“I’m–” Bakugou ran his fingers through his wild hair. “I’m fucking up completely and saying this wrong. I didn’t want to come here and tell you what to do with your life. I really didn’t, but I’m...”

“An idiot?” Uraraka suggested.

A hollow bark of laughter slipped from him. “Yeah, I guess so.” His hand fell from his hair. “I’m just worried about you, okay? I know things are completely done between us and I’m…” He took a deep breath as well. “But it doesn’t matter. I still care about you. It’s not something I can just turn off. You were and always will be important to me, and I want the absolute best for you. I want so many great things for you because you deserve it and you’re capable of it and more.”

“I know,” Uraraka mumbled. “I want the same for you.”

“But this thing with Shigaraki has the potential to ruin that for you, and I don’t want to see that happen after everything you’ve done and sacrificed to be where you are today,” Bakugou pointed out. “I’m sure Deku is involved too and Todoroki can’t get away from it no matter what he does, but this will damage your reputation far more than theirs.”

He wasn’t wrong. She hated that he wasn’t wrong. The topic had come up briefly in the beginning when she had first started to help Shigaraki out with Yukiko. She still hadn’t been sure that he’d want her around for long or if he’d stop calling once he got his feet underneath him. When they kept hanging out and nothing happened, she pushed the worry to the back of her mind.

Only when Hawks showed her that tabloid had she started to think about it more, but she hadn’t wanted to believe anything would come of it. She wanted to keep living in her ignorant, little world where it was just them, and she didn’t have to worry about her private life tangling up her professional one. He too had pointed out that things would get rough for her but also that she wouldn’t be alone. Then again, whatever he’d had with Touya had never truly come to light. Uraraka should’ve been used to the invasion of privacy by now, but this would affect her rank (and therefore her paycheck) and possibly even her job.

What would her coworkers think of her? Her boss? Her friends that didn’t know? Oh shit, her parents ?

“This could be really bad for you.” Bakugou folded his arms across his chest and huffed. “I told that bastard to stay away from you, but if I’d known he was going to be like this–”

“You what?” Uraraka held up a hand to stop him. “You talked to Shigaraki?”

“Yeah, after Mina accidentally told me.” Bakugou frowned. “He didn’t tell you?”

No, he hadn’t. She didn’t know why he wouldn’t have told her. Had he thought she might get upset or weepy about her ex? Had he simply thought it wasn’t important? Granted, if he had told her, she probably would’ve shown up at Bakugou’s agency unannounced to throttle him. It didn’t sound like a bad idea now. She was stressed now that she knew Bakugou had threatened Shigaraki, but since he didn’t tell her, it must not have bothered him too much.

This magazine article was going to bother him. It was going to bother him a lot. Shigaraki hated his privacy being invaded. He hadn’t even wanted people to know that she was helping him or that he had a kid at all, much less something like this. She unrolled the magazine and flipped to the article, her heart sinking even further into her stomach as she looked over the pictures. He wasn’t going to like this at all.

What if they started trying to dig into his life too? He had all but vanished from the public eye after his release. There were countless documentaries on the League: its ramifications in society, the crimes they committed, the ideology they inspired, the dark sides of quirks and how trauma and other issues paved the path to villainy. So many people wondered what happened to them, and now they could possibly find out thanks to her.

What if he got mad? What if he was upset with her? And Yukiko was in the pictures too. Did these people not understand what privacy meant? This was a child. What if he thought it was best if they weren’t in each other’s lives anymore? What if he thought she was somehow bad for Yukiko? She hadn’t wanted to bring something humiliating and invasive into their lives. She just wanted… All she wanted...

“Ochako? Are you okay?”

Uraraka held up a hand, stopping Bakugou in his tracks. If he came near her, she’d probably float him off the roof. There were too many emotions welling up inside of her that she didn’t know which one would surface if he touched her. She rubbed her eyes, wiping away the hint of tears that threatened to spill out, and then let out the breath she’d been holding in.

“I appreciate your concern, and your frankness with what happened,” Uraraka somehow managed to say in an even, calm voice. She lifted her eyes to meet Bakugou’s once more. Eyes that she had loved but didn’t any longer. It wasn’t nearly as hard as she had imagined almost a year ago. “But I know what I’m doing – and I know what’s important.”

Bakugou dropped a hand that he’d begun to lift before she stopped him. “Ochako…”

Uraraka smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll deal with this. If I can hold up a bridge and take down villains, I can deal with people sticking their noses where they don’t belong.”

“Touche.” Bakugou nodded. “Just make sure you really think about it, okay? This could shape and damage your career no matter how great of a hero you are.”

“Then I’ll just have to work twice as hard to make them forget,” Uraraka said decisively. She let go of the magazine and watched as it floated away. A few seconds later, she turned her back on it and walked toward the door to leave the roof. She was both anxious to get back to her desk where she’d left her phone and afraid to as well. She honestly had no idea how Shigaraki was going to react to this, but either way, it was going to be awkward as fuck.

Awesome.

Chapter 31: Well, this is awkward.

Chapter Text

We should probably talk.

You saw the magazine article, didn’t you?

Yeah

Okay I’ll swing by after work.

Uraraka’s heart dropped to the pit of her stomach and she sank into the chair behind her desk. Shigaraki was mad. He had to be mad. Or maybe he wasn’t and just didn’t know what to say. It was a really weird thing. Few people had to talk about the fact that the public thought they were dating. It was awkward and embarrassing. They weren’t dating, but even then, the idea that they could be friends was strange for everyone still. No one was likely to understand, save for maybe Deku and Todoroki.

Where were the articles on Todoroki being involved in his brother’s life? Where were the assumptions and judgments there? Uraraka knew it was foolish of her to question it, but she still couldn’t help a flash of irritation and bitterness. She knew why there had only been a few brief mentions about Todoroki spending time with his reformed villain brother. It was the price of being a woman in the hero industry.

Most of the Todoroki family drama had been kept out of the press, and there had been a lot, some that she didn’t even know about. While Uraraka was aware of some of the basic details, having gotten a lot closer with Todoroki over the past few years, she had never pressed him to talk about more than what he was comfortable with. Even when people questioned why Touya had gone rogue and become a villain, there had never really been any answers, just a lot of wild conjecture, especially since he took a plea deal before secrets could be spilled in court.

Uraraka didn’t get that option. Her private life was on full display in the pages of that stupid magazine for everyone to see, and they didn’t even tell half the story. There was no way these reporters or any of their so-called sources could possibly understand what was going on. Part of that was because there were moments when she wasn’t sure how they’d come to this point either. No one had warned her that she was going to become closely involved in Tomura Shigaraki and his kid’s lives.

No one had told her that it would matter so much to her either.

Spinning side-to-side in her chair, Uraraka stared at her phone, willing herself to come up with something cheerful and silly to say that might brighten the mood, but she couldn’t think of anything. Her stomach was in knots, and she kept biting her bottom lip. Stupid Bakugou for putting her in a sour mood. She knew that he was worried and cared about her in his own way, but now was not the time for it. Maybe one day they could be in each other’s lives again, but she did not want him involved in this. She didn’t want anyone involved in it, but that wasn’t an option.

As soon as her shift was over, Uraraka changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and all but bolted out of the agency. She didn’t know whether to be grateful or not that a villain attack hadn’t dragged her out at the last minute. At least then she could’ve avoided what was likely to be an awkward discussion.

On the train, Uraraka sent a quick text, Hey just got off work so I’m on my way over, but then never got one back, which made her even more anxious.

Was he really that upset? Was he completely done with her? Well, his main concern would be for Yukiko. He had probably accepted the fact that the media would eventually turn on him once he was found out – everyone was curious about what Shigaraki was doing these days – but having Yukiko’s picture in the magazine was another thing. It was a complete invasion of privacy. The moment she got her wits about her, she was going to call them and rip them a new one. That was a child.

And showing the world that Shigaraki had a child could cause serious repercussions. Who knew what kind of enemies he had still lurking out there desperate for revenge? The more she thought about it, the more worked up she became, clenching her hands into fists and biting her lip until she drew blood and realized she was worrying at it too much.

Also, why hadn’t Shigaraki texted her back? Had he meant another time? What if he had just wanted to talk over the phone? Just cut things off right there. Shit, why was she panicking so much? This wasn’t like her. She hadn’t acted like this since… Damnit, not since she and Bakugou were together near the end of their relationship when there would be radio silence between them while he was off working for days on end and she threw herself into work in an attempt to forget that everything was falling apart.

Cool. Great. She loved worrying about shit like this.

When she arrived at his place, her first thought was to turn around and leave, but Uraraka was afraid of confrontations anymore, so she knocked instead and called out, “I’m here!”

There was a thump and then a curse from inside, followed by laughter, and then, a few seconds later, a disheveled and wet Shigaraki opened the door, a very much naked and wiggling Yukiko in his hands.

“Shit, did you text? I didn’t have my phone on me. I was giving Yukiko a bath.”

Uraraka raised an eyebrow. “Were you giving her a bath or was she giving you one?”

“Very funny.”

Yukiko excitedly called out what was either “Ura” or “Oowuh”, but Uraraka responded to it regardless, reaching out to take her even though she was still wet and had spots of soap on her. Uraraka didn’t care. She felt a little stupid for feeling so much relief over having Yukiko in her arms, but she figured that if things were really bad and Shigaraki was pissed off at her, he wouldn’t have let her take Yukiko so easily or walk into his place.

“Ugh, I gotta change,” Shigaraki groaned, holding his wet t-shirt away from his skin. “She would not stop splashing or wiggling around. It was like she was trying to drown herself, I swear.”

“You take care of that,” Uraraka said. “I’ve got this.” She didn’t mind the few wet spots on her shirt, not when Yukiko was so happily jabbering away and touching her face. “Do you have–?”

“In the bathroom,” Shigaraki cut in as he walked down the hall to his bedroom.

Indeed, when Uraraka peered inside, she saw a diaper and footie pajamas to change Yukiko into once she was dried off. Uraraka washed away the remaining soap and then had her stand on a towel next to the tub. She quickly dried her off with another and then laid her down to change her. It was a little hard considering how much she was trying to roll around, but by now, Uraraka considered herself something of an expert.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

Uraraka looked up and found Shigaraki leaning against the doorway, watching as she helped Yukiko stand on her feet. “I don’t mind.”

Gripping the edge of the tub, she pushed herself to her feet and then bent over to give Yukiko her fingers so they could walk out of the bathroom together. Yukiko still walked on her tiptoes, which she had read meant babies weren’t ready to walk on their own yet. Shigaraki stepped out of the way to let them through and watched as they walked around the living room. He wasn’t talkative by nature, but his introspective attitude was starting to pluck at her nerves.

Yeah, he wasn’t happy. The article was bothering him.

“Okay, I know you didn’t see her for long, but it’s time for bed,” Shigaraki declared, stepping forward and reaching out to take Yukiko.

She immediately clung to Uraraka and cried out, “No!”

“I can do it,” Uraraka said as Yukiko fought to stay with her. Shigaraki paused, his fingers hooked under Yukiko’s arms, and looked down at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Did he have to be so difficult right now? It was doing shit for her. “I’ve gotten her to sleep before.”

Pulling his hands away, Shigaraki nodded, and Uraraka carried Yukiko to her bedroom. Ever since she had moved into her own room and crib, he had been trying to get her to lay down at a certain hour – and it was actually working. So strange when she refused to sleep unless she was curled up next to him before, but now she even sometimes slept through the entire night without waking up. Maybe, like him, she had simply needed her space and hadn’t known it until she got it.

Uraraka held Yukiko in her arms, rubbing her back as she stayed side-to-side in a rocking motion. It took a few minutes, but eventually, she started to doze off. Geez, with that white noise machine turned on, even Uraraka felt her eyes drooping. Once she figured that Yukiko was officially knocked out, she gently laid her in the crib on her back. She wasn’t quite sure what the policy was on giving her a blanket now at this age, but she did anyway because Yukiko loved her blanket.

As soon as she tiptoed out of the room and shut the door, Uraraka held up her hands and smiled. “Tada! No muss, no fuss.”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. “She never goes down that easily for me.”

Uraraka shrugged. “I just have that magic touch.”

“I guess.” He shook his head and wandered into the kitchen area. She dropped her hands to her side and the smile from her face before slowly following him. The tension in the room was so thick that it made her stomach turn more. As much as she wanted to believe that it was just her, she knew it wasn’t. By now, she’d gotten pretty good at reading him, and discomfort was one of the easiest of his emotions to pick up on. “Did you, uh, want something to eat? I’ve got...leftovers.”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Right then.”

He shut the fridge and turned around to face her. She bit her lip and looked back at him. Neither one of them wanted to talk about it. They could probably successfully avoid the topic for a while, maybe even a week, but eventually, the dam would break. More articles, more pictures, more speculation. It would build up until things got too awkward and one of them burst. Honestly, it would’ve been her. Shigaraki was too stubborn and ignored things like his life depended on it.

Whatever. She was brave. She was a hero, for crying out loud. She could deal with an awkward talk. It couldn’t be as bad as all the talks she and Bakugou had to keep their relationship alive and then finally break it off. This was going to be fine.

Uraraka cleared her throat. “So, the article.”

A grimace flickered across his face. “Yeah, that.”

“I’m really sorry!” Uraraka burst, unable to hold it in any longer. She stepped toward him, then hesitated. He didn’t move or blink, just simply looked at her. It was maddening. Couldn’t he react a little more than a few words and a brief expression of displeasure? “As a hero, I’m in the public eye a lot – I, of all people, should know that – but I kind of forgot, and it was nice. Still, I didn’t mean to drag you into it too. I know how much you value your privacy. And then they printed pictures of Yukiko–”

“Is that not illegal?” Shigaraki cut in brusquely. “She’s a child, for fuck’s sake.”

“I guess not.” Uraraka’s shoulders slumped. “It really upset me when I saw that. I know that my life is going to be invaded by nosy people every once in a while, but you’ve done so well to just live your life. The last thing you need is the paparazzi in your business again.”

Shigaraki folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “The media can either be your friend or your enemy. In this case, I think who they are is pretty damn clear.” He wrinkled his nose. “It’s so fucking scummy. You’re out there being a goddamn hero – saving people, lifting whole ass bridges, stopping robberies, and shit – and all they care about is who you’re…”

Uraraka could only pray that she didn’t blush too much. “Yeah, that’s pretty much all that matters. Plus, if I gain any sort of weight or take a picture at a wrong angle, articles about me possibly being pregnant pop up, which, um, would be really poor timing right now.”

“Ya think?” Shigaraki snorted, his disgust over the situation blatant. “That’d be great for your reputation: people asking you whether or not a former villain knocked you up.” He gestured vaguely in the direction of Yukiko’s room. “I’ve clearly got a knack for it.”

“These gossip magazines are a lot of shitty speculation that is usually wrong,” Uraraka sighed. “If the whole thing with Katsuki didn’t teach me how to ignore it, I’d have gone mad, but I got used to it and even learned to expect stuff like that so it didn’t bother me as much.”

Of course, back then, the tabloids had only affected her. Yeah, there had been talk of Bakugou and Kirishima’s relationship and how it caused her to break down every day. It hadn’t. The picture they’d had of her crying had been because of something that happened at work, nothing to do with them. It was all so twisted and stupid. She didn’t want Shigaraki to be subjected to that. She didn’t want people to talk about Yukiko or what his relationship with her was like.

“But I didn’t want you dragged into this...bullshit either,” Uraraka finished, “so I’m sorry.”

Taking a deep breath, Shigaraki refolded his arms. “It’s not your fault.”

“The paparazzi wouldn’t have found you if not for me–”

“They would’ve found me eventually.”

“But–”

“Uraraka, I’m not worried about me,” Shigaraki cut in firmly. She snapped her mouth shut. After arguing with Bakugou earlier, the urge to throw a retort at him was almost too strong to ignore, but she didn’t want to fight him and so she didn’t. “Am I pissed that Yukiko’s picture was in there? Of course I am. I don’t need the whole world in my business – or for everyone to know that I have a kid.” Her heart sank. “But I’m not… I’m not angry with you. It’s not like you had anything to do with it.”

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Uraraka nodded. “I guess I’m used to people being angry.” She shrugged and added, “Katsuki paid me a visit to lecture me about spending time with you. He was...concerned about how it would affect my career, but his concern always comes out so aggressively.”

“And as much as I loathe the prick, he’s not wrong,” Shigaraki admitted begrudgingly. “It doesn’t matter if it’s speculation or gossip. Being with me– Being around me is detrimental. Your rank will likely suffer.”

“I don’t care about rank,” Uraraka insisted quickly.

“You care about your paycheck?” Shigaraki retorted. “Because I’m pretty sure those two things are still tied tightly together despite the call to separate them.”

Uraraka winced. “It won’t put that much of a dent in it. I don’t think so at least… Ryukyu won’t dock my pay. She’s very fair.” At least she’s pretty sure her boss won’t do that. She has made it a point to never bring their personal lives up unless it starts affecting their work. And her relationship with Shigaraki hasn’t affected her work in any way. She’s been great and feeling good about herself. “I’ll be fine.”

Shigaraki sighed. “You’re not thinking this through.”

All Uraraka could do was gawk at him. Seriously? Was everyone going to question her? First Bakugou and now Shigaraki? Why not have Mina or Deku or Todoroki show up and lecture her too? Did he not want her around or not? Was he trying to convince her to push him away so he didn’t have to do it? Make it seem like her leaving was her decision instead of him wanting her out of his and Yukiko’s lives because she had complicated things?

“I’m not stupid,” Uraraka snapped. “I know this is going to affect me.”

“I’m not saying you are,” Shigaraki shot back, “but this isn’t something that is going to pass like it did with Bakugou.” She knew that. He was just repeating shit she already knew. Why? “The media is going to hound you about this. People are gonna start asking questions – friends, peers, rivals, family . I’m sure your parents are going to be thrilled that you’re hanging around someone who tried to kill you a few times.”

Her face flushed. She hadn’t even considered her parents’ reaction. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what they would think. It couldn’t be anything positive. They had been nothing but supportive of her during her break up with Bakugou and the fallout in the press when his relationship with Kirishima came to light, but this was admittedly a much bigger pill to swallow, no matter what she told them.

“Other heroes aren’t going to take kindly to this,” Shigaraki pointed out. “People will lose respect for you. They’ll mock you, call you out, or whatever other bullshit heroes that only care about ranks and fame do.” She hadn’t stuck around long enough to really see her colleagues’ reactions to the magazine, but no doubt it had spread like wildfire after she left. How would they even look at her when she went back to work tomorrow? What would they say? “They’ll probably consider you a traitor.”

“I’m not…” Uraraka didn’t know what to say. She had considered all of this, but at the same time, she had also ignored it. She hadn’t wanted to think about how difficult simply being around him could be, not when things seemed fine and everyone was happy. It was so easy to be ignorant in those moments.

Shigaraki made a face. “Not to mention all the shit you’re gonna get dragged in by Ground Zero’s fans online.”

“I don’t care about them,” Uraraka scoffed.

“I know, but I don’t like it. You’re better than all this shit, but everyone’s so far up their asses about shit they don’t know and think they can judge you, and I–” Shigaraki raked his fingers through his hair, clearly agitated. There was nothing she could do but stand there and think about the situation. “You’ll have people in your corner, but the assholes will always be louder. And some of your harshest critics will probably be fans and other heroes.”

Uraraka wiped at her eyes. No, she wasn’t going to cry, but this was just so dumb. Frustration burned inside of her – over the media, her argument with Bakugou, the uncertainty, even Shigaraki. She didn’t want to get into an argument with him. She didn’t think they were, but she couldn’t help but get the feeling like this was going to only end in one way. After all, she’d been here before.

She knew what it sounded like when someone thought she was better off without them around.

“What do you think we should do?” Uraraka asked flatly despite knowing the answer.

“I don’t know.” Shigaraki dropped his hand from his hair and looked away. “Maybe we just need some space from each other.”

“So just stop hanging out altogether?”

“At least in public maybe, shit, I don’t know, Uraraka.” He brought his gaze back to hers, but instead of nothing in them like she feared, there was anger and frustration and so much more that she couldn’t read. He wasn’t happy with the solution either. He was pissed. “I don’t want to be the reason you suffer. That’s all I did before. It’s all I wanted. I’ve caused far too much damage in my life as it is. I’ve ruined enough lives. I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m fucking sick and tired of it. If all I can do is destroy shit–”

Uraraka jumped toward him despite knowing how much he valued space. “That’s not you anymore. You’re doing so much more with your life than that – and you’re not ruining my life. You’re–”

He stared down at her, his brow furrowed, an intense look in his eyes, and she...didn’t know what to say, the breath stolen right from her lungs. All she could do was tilt her head and look back up at him, closer than she anticipated. She wasn’t lying. He wasn’t ruining her life. Yes, this would be difficult, annoying, and potentially even painful, but she would weather it. As long as she did her job as a hero, she would be fine. She could take the hits. It was just some stupid publicity.

Shigaraki lifted his hand. For a moment, Uraraka thought he was going to touch her face – she could’ve sworn that was what he wanted to do – but then he lifted it further to rub the back of his neck and jerked his eyes away from her again.

“I just think it might be a good idea if we refrained from being out in public together, at least until this bullshit blows over or the media realizes they were wrong.” No matter how emotionless he tried to sound, she could still sene the frustration in his voice. This wasn’t what he wanted (at least she didn’t think so) and it wasn’t what she wanted either, but it was the most logical choice of action aside from cutting off contact completely. “You’re an important part in Yukiko’s life if you still wanted–”

“Yes,” Uraraka cut in quickly. She swallowed, embarrassed by the desperate tinge in her tone, but pushed through it. “I still want to be a part of it, of course.”

“Okay.” Shigaraki let out a breath. “I don’t want her to lose someone good in her life because her father is–” Uraraka glared, and he rolled his eyes. “ Used to be a piece of shit villain.”

And what about you? she wanted to ask, but she didn’t dare. If he wanted to make this solely about her and Yukiko, she would let him. It was easier that way. Less complicated. She could understand why. To be honest, thinking about what he wanted specifically made her stomach twist.

“We keep our distance, go back to how things were in the beginning, and eventually, the media will lose interest. There won’t be a fire if we don’t give them any fuel, and your image remains...untarnished.”

Uraraka clenched her hands into fists at her side. “If that’s what you think is best.”

“It is.” Shigaraki straightened, a more determined air about him now. It was easier to look that way once decisions had been made. “It’s the easiest solution that will involve the least amount of interaction with the press as possible. I don’t want to deal with strangers asking questions about my personal life. It sounds annoying as shit.”

A hollow laugh tumbled from Uraraka. “It is.”

“Look, those bastards were eventually gonna find me and have a fucking field day over me having a kid now,” Shigaraki told her. “It was inevitable.” She shrugged uselessly. Maybe, but she still felt like the cause for it happening sooner, which made her feel decidedly like shit. “You’re...a kind person – far kinder than you should be, especially for a hero.”

“Being kind doesn’t have anything to do with being a hero,” Uraraka said, gesturing around them and adding, “or any of this.” She smiled, hoping it wasn’t sad. “Being here for Yukiko or hanging out with you was never about being kind. It’s just...something I want to do, no matter how weird it is.”

Shigaraki snorted. “It’s pretty fucking weird.”

But it didn’t feel that way anymore. When had it stopped? She couldn’t recall an exact moment.

“So…” Uraraka coughed. “I guess I’ll...see you around?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll text you.” Shigaraki moved to step away from the counter, and Uraraka backed away to give him the space to do so. He didn’t seem to have a destination in mind, stopping in the middle of the living room and just staring blankly at the couch. Shaking his head at something, he turned to face her. “You started coming around for Yukiko. We can just leave it at that for now.”

“Okay.”

Shigaraki stared at her. “Uraraka…”

Ah, she knew better than to get her hopes up over nothing. “Yeah?”

“For what it’s worth – and it might not be worth much coming from me – you’re a great hero. It’s been years since I was a villain and in prison and therapy, and I still don’t think much of them, but you’re something different.” He shook his head. “I certainly wasn’t expecting you to be anything like you are, and I’m not caught off guard that often.”

A smile twitched onto her lips. “I don’t know. You’ve been in for quite a few surprises this year.”

“Shit,” Shigaraki huffed, “if that ain’t the truth.”

They’d get through this. She knew they would. She didn’t know how or where they would end up, but they would do it. She’d never met anyone more resilient than Shigaraki, save for maybe Deku. After everything he’d gone through and done, he was still trying his hardest to be the father that he’d never had. This was just a bump in the road, an obstacle they had to face, but damn if it didn’t hurt like hell when she walked out the door.

Chapter 32: Not All Publicity is Good Publicity

Notes:

There were supposed to be three other scenes in this chapter, but then I passed the 7k mark and was like, "Ya know... I'll just split the POVs into two chapters."

Chapter Text

The week after her and Shigaraki’s discussion dragged on. Uraraka couldn’t tell if maybe she was simply hyper aware of the time in between their texts or if he was actively texting her less, but it certainly felt like they weren’t talking as much. Honestly, she was probably getting into her own head, but even if he had decided that texting her less was for the best, she would respect that without complaint. This was awkward for him, and they were trying to not be so involved with one another.

It was a little embarrassing to realize that texting Tomura Shigaraki had become a natural part of her everyday life, but she sighed and set her phone aside next to her glass of water. She didn’t need to check her phone at dinner anyway, not when she was supposed to be hanging out with her friends. With Deku in town, she, Todoroki, and Iida had met up with him for dinner. They rarely got to do this since the three of them were so busy with their agencies. This wasn’t meant to be a distraction but fun.

“Is everything okay?” Iida asked while Todoroki and Deku argued over the bill. She wasn’t about to fight them on it when they made more than twice as much as she did, thanks.

Uraraka smiled. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine! Maybe a little tired. I’ve been working overtime.”

Work was the best distraction. She still loved being a hero and Ryukyu was an excellent boss. Out of all the heroes she’d worked with while at UA, the Dragon Hero had been her favorite. There was a reason she’d accepted a position there even three years after having interned there in her first year. Plus, if her ratings were going to take a hit, it was best to work proactively against it. Maybe if she saved a bunch of people, they’d forget about the tabloid rumors about her dating a former villain.

Ha! What a joke.

A frown touched Iida’s lips. He clearly didn’t find this funny either. “You were distracted all dinner.”

“Was I?” Uraraka twisted her lips. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be.”

“Your job is important,” Iida told her, “but you need to take care of yourself too.”

Despite her frustration over the situation, Uraraka giggled. “Okay, Dad .”

Some things never changed even when it was like the entire world had been turned on its end. Sure, she might’ve been hanging out with Shigaraki for a time (well, maybe not anymore…), but Iida was still prone to lecturing, especially when he cared about someone deeply. It was comforting to know that she could still count on a few consistent things in her life.

Iida glanced at Todoroki and Deku and then settled a careful look on her. “Is this about…?”

The smile on her face didn’t leave, but it certainly felt more plastered than anything else. “About what?”

“Uraraka, as much as I avoid tabloids and rumors, I can read and I do hear things,” Iida pointed out. The smile dropped from her face, but when she looked at the other two, they still weren’t paying attention. She and Iida were sitting next to each other, and he was keeping his voice low, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t catch a hint of this conversation. “And we haven’t really had the chance to talk about it much. I expressed my concerns, but you reassured me that things were fine. I believed you despite my hesitations, but now…”

“I’m really not in the mood for this kind of lecture,” Uraraka told him flatly.

“And I’m not going to give you one,” Iida insisted.

Well, that was a new one. He had expressed similar concerns about Todoroki being around his brother, not because Iida didn’t want them to spend time together or believe they should, but because it was natural to be worried. At the end of the day, Touya was Dabi. The two of them had confronted each other multiple times throughout the years. There was so much that went unspoken between the two of them even now.

“Well, I don’t want to talk about it now,” Uraraka said. “Can we just have a nice night with friends?”

Iida sighed. “Of course. I only…” He took a breath and gave her a soft smile. “I only want you to be happy - in whatever way that means.”

Turning back in his seat, Todoroki folded his arms across his chest. “You’re visiting and it was my turn to pay. Why are you so damn difficult?”

Deku grinned. “I’ve gotta spoil my friends somehow when I see them!”

“No, you’re a stubborn ass.”

Uraraka snorted. “You’re both terrible.”

Neither one of them could argue with her there. The only two people to rival them in stubbornness were probably Bakugou and Shigaraki. Although seeing as how she had spent a considerable amount of time with them, she wasn’t sure what that said about her level of stubbornness.

By the time they finished dinner, the restaurant was about to close. She’d missed them, her boys. Back when she was dating Bakugou, she hadn’t seen them nearly as much as she should have. Not that he controlled her life or anything, but other relationships always seemed to take priority. She couldn’t be regretful about the times she’d chosen him over them. All she could do was enjoy the time she spent with them now.

“You getting a cab?” Todoroki asked as they walked to the front of the restaurant.

Shaking her head, Uraraka chirped, “Nah, it’s too nice of a night out. I’ll walk.”

Todoroki eyed her flatly. “You know you have money to spend now, don’t you?”

“It’s-” Uraraka chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. “I guess old habits die hard. I should probably just get a cab. I am kinda tired.”

Todoroki reached around her to grab the door and pull it open for her. “There’s no need to push so much pressure-”

Before he could even finish his statement, a microphone was jammed in Uraraka’s face and someone practically shouted behind a bright flashing light, “Uravity, would you care to give your fans a comment regarding your relationship with Tomura Shigaraki?”

Caught off guard by the sudden assault, Uraraka threw a hand up to shield her eyes. Damn, that camera flash had been right. Apparently, the media was no longer being shy about the situation. They must have decided that secondhand sources and comments weren’t good enough. No, if they wanted to get to the actual story, they needed to get to the heart of it. So far, out of all the articles she’d seen, there had been nothing from anyone close to the story.

“I-”

And then there was Todoroki, stepping partially in front of her and literally batting the microphone away, a furious and cold expression on his face like he was staring down a villain instead of the paparazzi. “Would you care to mind your own damn business? This isn’t the time or place and, to be honest, it’s fucking disrespectful. She’s a hero. That’s all that matters.”

The reporter blinked in surprise, but then a resolute look came over her and she angled the microphone toward him. “Does that mean you support her relationship with a villain?” Todoroki opened his mouth, and the woman smiled knowingly, quickly adding, “Former villain, I mean. I know you have your own personal connections to one as well, so it makes sense that you would support their relationship, especially since they were so close.”

“If you’re referring to my oldest brother, I don’t hide that,” Todoroki responded. “And it’s a completely different situation.”

“Which is…?”

Todoroki leaned into the mic. “None of your goddamn business, like I said.” He snatched Uraraka’s wrist and all but jerked her out of the doorway and down the sidewalk. “C’mon, let’s get out of here before more of these vultures show up.”

“Does Shigaraki know you’re here with another man?” the reporter called out.

“It wouldn’t matter if he did,” Uraraka blurted, absolutely bemused with the absurd question. Did he know where she was? What she was doing? Who she was with? It didn’t matter. He didn’t give a shit about things like that. She had her life and he had his. It wasn’t like they swapped all the little details about their lives with each other.

“Not the jealous type?”

Uraraka looked back at the reporter, startled by the question. “What-?”

“Just ignore them,” Todoroki told her. “They’re just looking for a reaction.”

Ducking her head, Uraraka muttered, “He wouldn’t care about that. He doesn’t--” She cut herself off and pressed her lips together. Whatever. It didn’t matter. Todoroki was right. The reporter was throwing shots in the dark by lobbing random questions in hopes of getting a good soundbite. She knew how they worked. It was how they managed to make such a mess of things during her and Bakugou’s breakup and his relationship with Kirishima after.

“As soon as Deku walks out, they’ll be all over him,” Todoroki said.

“So we sacrifice Deku?”

Todoroki nodded. “No question.”

A smile briefly twitched onto her face, but it didn’t entirely reach her eyes, and she let it die. Deku would no doubt get a few questions about the situation thrown at him, but he’d dodge them and answer anything else thrown at him. As Japan’s Number One Hero and one of the few heroes well-known throughout the world, those tabloid reporters would go rabid over the chance to interview him for a second. Any thoughts about Uravity would be gone in the light of Deku. He’d take one for the team without hesitation.

“Don’t,” Todoroki told her once they finally stopped two blocks away.

Uraraka peered up at him. “Don’t what?”

He let go of her hand to lift one for a cab. “Feel guilty.”

“I don’t-”

“Yeah, you do. I can see it on your face. I saw it all night.”

Biting her lip, Uraraka’s shoulders dropped. “Iida basically said the same thing. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Todoroki dropped his hand despite the fact that a cab hadn’t shown up yet. A myriad of emotions flickered across his face, most of them too quick for her to place. Back when they were students, getting him to show an emotion that wasn’t an extreme had been difficult, but he’d slowly thawed out and allowed others to see what he was thinking. It meant he was comfortable, and that meant a lot to her even now.

Sighing, Todoroki looked away from her. “It wasn’t easy - letting Touya back in. I wanted my brother, but in truth, I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me. We were strangers - enemies - but the only two people that truly understood one another too. I didn’t think I’d be able to forgive him or if he was worth it.”

“Is he?” Uraraka asked curiously. They hadn’t really talked about this much. One day Touya wasn’t in his life and the next he was. She’d never questioned him on it. They were family, after all, although she knew it was deeper and more complex than that.

“Most of the time.” Todoroki smiled faintly, letting her know that it was mostly a joke. She was sure that some days he questioned it, considering Touya’s antics and cavalier behavior. “I still hesitated unlike Fuyumi and Natsuo, but then my dad warned me that being around Touya might hurt my career - and I didn’t care. I didn’t care if it made me look bad in the public’s eyes. I didn’t care what the media said. I certainly didn’t give a shit about what my dad said when all he cared about was-” He stopped himself and took a deep breath. “It wasn’t long before I stopped thinking about it altogether. It didn’t matter.”

“Easy to get wrapped up in things, isn’t it?” Uraraka mused.

“Yeah, it is,” Todoroki admitted. “It’s even easier to let yourself hope that things are better.” He pocketed his hands and looked down at his feet. “It’s not always easy though. There are days when I remember and I get so pissed off at him - times when I can’t understand why it’s so simple for Fuyumi when he put us through hell - but then others when I’m just so damn relieved and happy that he’s on his feet again and he’s… He’s good.”

“That’s really sweet,” Uraraka said softly.

Todoroki snorted. “Of course, when it came to Shigaraki, I still wanted him to burn in hell for a long time. I’m not a particularly forgiving person.”

“Gee, you think?” Uraraka teased.

“I didn’t like Touya hanging around him, but he always dismissed my concerns. It irritated the hell out of me - took me awhile to realize he was treating me like an older brother would.” Todoroki rolled his eyes but it was more out of fondness than anything. It must have felt nice in a weird way to experience what family was like. She couldn’t imagine it. Family was the most important thing to her when it had been an afterthought for him half his life.

Shigaraki probably felt something similar, but she wouldn’t point that out to him. He would not like the idea of being compared to Shigaraki in any way.

“And then you started hanging around him.” Todoroki made a face, one filled with utter distaste. He’d never hid his dislike of Shigaraki, a feeling which was mutual. The two of them butted heads all the time and likely always would. Men and their stubbornness. “He’s like one of those pests that won’t leave no matter what you do to exterminate it.”

Uraraka smacked him on the arm. “Todoroki!”

He didn’t even bother hiding his smile this time. “It’s true. First, he latched onto Touya, then you, and then it turned out Kaminari had been friends with him all along.”

She pressed her lips together. “That’s not-”

“I know. Trust me, I know.” Todoroki glanced at her sideways. “But he’s...not as terrible as I thought he was going to be. He’s a much better father than mine, which isn’t hard to do but is still surprising. He’s working on improving his life, which, in a weird way, is forcing Touya to examine his. Yukiko is…” He shrugged. “She’s good, healthy, happy - and so were you.”

“Nice to know Shigaraki keeps me in good health,” Uraraka cracked, blowing a raspberry.

Todoroki nudged her with his shoulder. “I’m just saying that I get it. I guess. I might not like it, but I understand.” They really had gotten closer after she and Bakugou broke up. Deku had been devastated that he couldn’t be around, but Todoroki had stepped up where others faltered. She hadn’t wanted to put Mina in an awkward position, Tsu worked far away, and Momo was always so busy. Still, she hadn’t thought she’d live to see the way where Todoroki was somewhat defending Shigaraki. “And it’s your life. We’ve spent so much of our lives going by other people’s rules. You should do what makes you happy.”

“Is that an official statement of support from Entropy?” Uraraka teased.

“It’s me saying fuck the media,” Todoroki shot back, finally waving down a cab. “And that if something or someone makes you happy, you shouldn’t let it go. I didn’t. I’m glad I got a second chance with Touya, even when it’s hard.” It was such a warm sentiment that Uraraka couldn’t help but hug him. He let her, returning the gesture. “But if Shigaraki does anything to hurt you-”

“Pretty sure Yukiko would hurt him before you could.”

“Uravity! Another question!”

Uraraka grimaced and ducked into the back of the cab. “And that’s my cue.”

“I’ll fend them off,” Todoroki said, glancing back at the paparazzi rushing their way. “It’s been awhile since I’ve made an off-the-cuff comment. I can’t get too close to the Number One position.” She shook her head. Surely there were easier ways to cement his position as the top two hero without throwing in a shocking statement or two, but it was his preferred method, if only because it drove his father mad and made everyone else laugh. “Maybe I’ll say something that’ll take me down to Number Three.”

“Careful,” Uraraka warned. “You can’t drop too far in public opinion.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not letting Bakugou beat my rank.” Todoroki shut the car door. “Text one of us when you get home.” She nodded. Hopefully she’d remember this time or Iida would flood her inbox with concerned messages. She was so bad about it. He tapped the hood of the car. “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck,” Uraraka said, “and thanks. Not sure what the pep talk was for, but… I appreciate it.”

To be honest, she’d expected one from Deku not Todoroki, but she wouldn’t complain either. It was often that he opened up so much, but when he did, it felt important. Out of everyone who could understand the weird feelings and situation she was in, it was Todoroki. Allowing Touya back into his life had not come without its difficulties, consequences, or strangeness, but he’d done it regardless.

But maybe it was easier said than done in her case. Touya was his blood, his brother. Shigaraki was… Well, he wasn’t family. She didn’t really know what he was. A friend, she guessed, but it did feel like more than that if it was affecting things so much. She didn’t want to make any assumptions.

What would I even be assuming anyways? Uraraka thought at a stoplight. She glanced at her phone, but it was clear of any messages. She tried not to let disappointment seep in. It was pointless. It wasn’t like he was feeling the same way.

*

Everywhere Uraraka looked, it seemed like someone had something to say about her “relationship” with Shigaraki. The worst place was work, somewhere she had once thought to be a sanctuary. More than a few of her coworkers made smartass comments that had her silently seething, just as Shigaraki had warned they would, but all she could do was bite her tongue and keep her retorts to herself. They didn’t understand what they were talking about. They didn’t know him. They barely knew her.

Even the ones that didn’t say anything eyed her out of the corners of their eyes. She did her best to ignore them, but it was hard, especially when she’d been so warmly received before. People liked her and, much to her horror, she liked being liked. It made her stomach turn when people that had once always greeted her turned away from her or walked out of the room instead. It was stupid. They’d get over it eventually. She didn’t know why her personal life mattered so much.

“They’ll probably consider you a traitor.” That was what Shigaraki had said.

Shit, it really stung now that she was feeling it.

“Um, Uravity?”

Uraraka looked away from her laptop and turned to find Ryukyu’s personal assistant hovering at her desk. She normally wasn’t so timid or hesitant around her, but then again, it made sense. What if Ryukyu had decided to lecture her too? What if she was going to get reprimanded? After all, a hero was technically never off the clock. They represented heroes even when they were civilians. Their personal lives could reflect on their hero lives.

And a hero who hung out with a former villain could look bad for the agency.

Fighting the urge to sigh, Uraraka prompted, “Yes?”

“Ryukyu asked to see you before you left today.”

“Okay, thanks for letting me know.” Uraraka smiled, but the young woman didn’t smile back. Instead, she nodded and shuffled off. This time, Uraraka did sigh and sink back in her chair, pinching the bridge of her nose. This was so damn stupid. All she’d been doing was hanging out with Shigaraki and helping him with his daughter. What was so wrong about that? Wasn’t that acting like a hero? Wasn’t that good?

Thirty minutes later, with her report done and outfit changed, Uraraka found herself in her boss’ office. She figured that she might as well change into something comfortable if she was going to get written up or reprimanded. Everyone else had told her off in some way. Her boss might as well join in. She hadn’t even talked with Shigaraki in four days and the conversation had been stilted then. What was the point? What did it matter? It wasn’t like this was shit she hadn’t heard before.

Not to mention all the calls she’d dodged from her parents…

Ugh, this was so humiliating. Had Todoroki been forced to deal with this much embarrassment? Probably not. Hawks might have had anyone figured out his true relationship to Touya, but they’d somehow managed to keep that in the dark, which was most likely partly why things had eventually deteriorated between them. It was sad.

(And she didn’t want that to happen with Shigaraki.)

“Sorry for calling you in here after your shift is over,” Ryukyu said as she strode into the office. “With all the overtime you’ve been pulling, you must be exhausted.”

Uraraka put on a smile, something she felt like she’d been doing for days to no avail. “It’s not a problem! Is there something you needed to speak with me about?” She tried not to wince or let her smile falter. Of course there was something Ryukyu wanted to talk with her about; she wouldn’t be here otherwise. She cleared her throat. “Am I, um…”

“No, you’re not in any trouble,” Ryukyu reassured her as she sat down behind her desk. “On the contrary, you’re one of the most exemplary heroes to work under me.”

Well, that was...unexpected. Uraraka wasn’t sure what to think of that. A few weeks ago, she would’ve glowed under the compliment. Now she simply felt suspicious and uncertain, like the compliment was cushion to make her fall much less painful.

Oh, wow, Shigaraki really was rubbing off on her.

Uraraka sighed. “If this is about all those tabloids-”

“It is,” Ryukyu cut in, “and then it isn’t.” She leaned forward, folding her hands on the desk. “I make it a point not to concern myself which such things or let them influence my opinion of my employees. What matters is if they’re doing their jobs - which you are doing, twice as hard as anyone, undoubtedly because you’re concerned for your image.”

“Then I don’t-”

“Your personal life is affecting your image, however, whether your like it or not.” Ryukyu pulled up a link on her computer and twisted the monitor so that Uraraka could see it. While there wouldn’t be another official hero ranking announcement for another three months, popularity and ranking polls ran constantly online in real time to predict the outcomes. She could tell, just from a glance, that her predicted rank had already begun to decline. “Your recent work in China bolstered you, along with your consistent closing of cases, but as far as popularity is concerned…”

Uraraka’s heart sank. “I’m not winning people’s hearts, huh?”

“Tabloids, rumors, and conjectures often affect a hero’s rank and popularity, and, whether it’s fair or not, female heroes suffer twice as much from it.” Ryukyu’s record, as far as she knew, was damn near spotless, but she also had a very flashy quirk. Transforming into a dragon was no joke. The public loved it. “I’m not here to lecture you on what you do in your personal time or who you spend that time with, but I am concerned as your boss too.”

Sitting upright, Uraraka started, “He’s not-”

But Ryukyu held up a hand and stopped her cold. “I know.”

“How…?”

“I might only be the Number Ten Hero, but I’ve got my connections.” Ryukyu smiled. It wasn’t warm, but it wasn’t exactly cold either. It was professional. “Heroes are also able to check up on paroled felons to see how they’re doing or if they’re likely to become a repeat offender. I trust your sensibilities, but you’ll have to excuse me for wanting to find out myself.”

“You...looked up on Shigaraki?” Oh, he wouldn’t like that at all.

Ryukyu laughed lightly. “I’ll admit that I was not expecting anything I found. By all accounts, he’s a model citizen: working full-time, recently moved into a decent neighborhood, raising his daughter. I even had All Might reassure me that Shigaraki is doing well.”

“You could’ve asked Deku while you were at it,” Uraraka muttered, feeling a strange stab of irritation. As if the media wasn’t bad enough, even heroes were prying into Shigaraki’s life because of her. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. What she did in private did not affect her professional life. Even when things were falling apart between her and Bakugou, she didn’t let it get in the way of being a hero.

“I can’t really imagine why you would want to spend time with him or how it came about-”

“He-” Uraraka took a deep breath. “I ran into him shortly after he, ah, acquired his daughter. He was lost and didn’t know what he was doing. I offered to help out, and things just...spiraled from there. I don’t know what else to say. That’s what a hero does, isn’t it? Help people when they’re in need?”

“Yes, but they typically don’t continue to hang out with their former enemies.”

Uraraka gestured in exasperation. “No one is questioning Deku or Entropy for doing the same thing.”

“No one is accusing them of dating a reformed villain either.” Ryukyu held up both hands before Uraraka could protest. This was such bullshit. “I’m not asking you to explain yourself, Uraraka. I’m not scolding you either. You’ve done nothing wrong - a little weird, yes, but not wrong. I noticed the way some of the others in the agency have begun to act around you. Quite frankly, I’m furious, especially at the sidekicks under you.”

“It’s not…” Uraraka sank in her seat. “It’s not your fault. They’ve got a right to be confused and angry. It’s not really easy to understand. You don’t have to go out of your way or anything for me.”

“It’s still disrespectful, and I won’t tolerate it,” Ryukyu stated firmly. “You’re an incredible hero, and I’m very glad that you accepted my offer to work here. In my opinion, you’re under-ranked and underestimated, both of which I hoped would change once you came back.” She let out a breath. “Your lowered rank will affect how much you’re paid, but I wanted to let you know that it won’t affect your wages. I’m going to make up the difference with your wage here.”

That did startle Uraraka, who stiffened in her seat and gawked. “I don’t understand.”

“You should get paid what you’re worth,” Ryukyu said, “and you’re worth more than what those tabloids have to say about you.” This time, when she smiled, there was warmth in it. For someone who could turn into a terrifying dragon, she had one of the softest smiles that Uraraka had ever seen. “We often let public opinion dictate what we should do and how we behave. Don’t let that happen to you. As a hero, you’ve come a long way, Uravity, but as a person, Uraraka, you’re one of the best people I’ve met. If you’re happy, then be happy. It will reflect in your work.”

Groaning slightly, Uraraka leaned forward and hid her face in her hands. “I think everyone is reading into this way more than it is.” First Bakugou, then Todoroki, and now her boss. Who was next? Touya? Oh gods, she couldn’t handle that. She had flatly told her parents that the tabloids were wrong and that she wasn’t dating a man who had once tried to kill her and her friends. “It’s not that serious. We’re not- Ugh, it doesn’t matter.”

“It clearly does or it wouldn’t be affecting you this much,” Ryukyu pointed out, almost teasingly.

Honestly, Uraraka was ready use her quirk and float herself into the stratosphere. She couldn’t handle this sort of embarrassment or these talks anymore. As much as she appreciated her boss standing up for her and not questioning her mental facilities, it still grinded on her. And if one of her colleagues looked at her sideways or turned a nose at her, she was going to lose it.

*

The moment Shigaraki opened the door, Uraraka’s heart did a weird thing where it was like it couldn’t tell whether to skip a beat or slow down in relief. It ended up making her feel jittery and confused, but a smile, this one genuine, still tugged at her lips. It was hard to say, but she thought his shoulders relaxed too. Not that he would ever cop to feeling that way upon seeing her, but he did step aside and let into her into his place without complaint.

Absolutely nothing had changed. Everything remained the same in the apartment, even down to Yukiko’s walker in between the coffee table and the television like usual.

The moment Yukiko spotted her, her face lit up and she started to awkwardly rush forward in the walker while exclaiming, “Ura! Ura!”

“Oh, you’re doing so well!” Uraraka gushed as she met Yukiko halfway. The walker had gotten caught on the edge of the table, which had started to frustrate her, but then Uraraka plucked her out of the walker and squeezed her tightly. Yukiko giggled and tugged on her hair. “When are you gonna start walking for real? You won’t need that silly thing much longer.”

“I swear she doesn’t need it now,” Shigaraki complained as he searched the kitchen for something. “She lifts her feet and makes me push her around everywhere. Seriously, she won’t even walk in it unless she sees you or Touya.” He glared at her sideways. “Stinky, little traitor.”

Yukiko laid her head against Uraraka’s shoulder, peering at her father with big red eyes. “Ura.”

“See?” Shigaraki gestured. “Traitor. She was crying all morning unless I held her and now she’s acting like she’s innocent.”

Uraraka stuck out her tongue. “Maybe she likes me more.”

“Touya too?”

She hummed thoughtfully. “He does have a certain appeal.”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes, but he didn’t say anything, likely trying to say anything too offensive in front of Yukiko. Uraraka grinned, unable to suppress her amusement. Riling up Shigaraki was a lot easier than she would have ever anticipated. Considering he’d once been the once most wanted man in Japan (and not the kind in a trashy tabloid magazine), he was strangely easy to fluster. Touya must have had a field day back when they were in the League. He did now .

After another minute of rooting through the kitchen, Shigaraki threw his hands up in frustration. “Where the hell are my fucking keys? I always put them in here. Why aren’t they in here?”

After literally three seconds of looking around, Uraraka spotted a handful of keys on the couch and picked them up to hold them out. “You mean these?”

“I already looked-” Shigaraki turned to stare at her. He furrowed his brow and then stomped over to her, snatching them from her fingers and glaring down at them like they might answer for themselves. “What the hell were they doing over there?” He raised his eyes to Yukiko. “Were you playing with them again? I must have put them on the table instead of in the kitchen.” He made a face. “Ugh, I bet you were chewing on them again. That’s gross as shit.”

Yukiko smiled. “Shit.”

“Don’t-” Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose. “Never mind. If I tell you not to do something, you’re gonna do it just to spite me.”

“I don’t think she’s capable of spite actions yet,” Uraraka said.

“If anyone’s capable of them before they’re one, it’s gonna be my kid,” Shigaraki grumbled. He reached out for a moment, hesitating briefly, and then laid his hand on top of Yukiko’s head. Her hair was really starting to grow in, a rich brown unlike his, although it looked just as soft. Uraraka wouldn’t know exactly since she’d never touched his hair before. “I gotta go. I’m running late, and my therapist will probably make some mark in my chart if I don’t show up on time.”

Uraraka nodded. “Go on then. We’ll be fine. You said she ate an hour ago.”

“Yeah, but not a lot. She was being picky, little brat. Maybe she’ll eat more for you since she likes you so much.” Shigaraki frowned, still having not lifted his hand from Yukiko’s head. “Don’t give her any fruit. She’ll eat a shit ton of it but won’t touch anything else in hopes she’ll get more.”

“Got it.” Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Honestly, you act like I’ve never done this before. I know her tricks.”

He still hesitated, his eyes flickering up to hers. Uraraka raised an eyebrow in an attempt to prompt him to say whatever was on his mind, but he didn’t. Instead, he pulled his hand away from Yukiko and turned away. He snatched his gloves from the table, shoving them into his pocket, and said, “I’ll be back in like three hours.”

“Okay,” Uraraka murmured softly, the implication not going over her head. She wasn’t the brightest girl in the world like Momo or the most clever either like Deku, but she wasn’t stupid either, especially when it came to social cues. He’d be back in three hours - and then she could leave. No sticking around, no hanging out, nothing extra like they’d done before. Just back to business like in the beginning.

Shigaraki didn’t even look back at them before dipping out the front door. Which was fine. She didn’t need anything extra from him and if he didn’t want or need anything from her either, then so be it. She could handle that. It’d be better for her image in the long run and it would make any radio silence or distance between them easier too. Life would just slowly go back to the way it was until she wasn’t necessary any longer - until he didn’t need her around and the media forgot this whole thing.

Uraraka pressed her lips to the crown of Yukiko’s head and then carried her into the living room area so they could sit on the floor and play with her toys. It’d be fine. Everything would be perfectly fine.

*

“I’m gonna lose it!” Uraraka exclaimed, flopping back on her couch.

Mina smiled sheepishly. “I could always do something outrageous to try to take the heat off you?”

“It’s so stupid,” Uraraka gripped. “The paparazzi doesn’t even have anything new to show, but they’re still writing stupid trash articles speculating on our ‘relationship’.” She leaned forward and snagged her glass of wine from the floor, aggressively sipping on it. “What relationship? We barely talk anymore. I come over, he leaves, I watch Yukiko, he comes back, and then I leave. There’s nothing to even talk about.”

“It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing to talk about,” Mina pointed out from her spot on the floor. “It’s weird and totally unexpected, so people wanna know more about it.”

“Well, thanks to them, I’m getting bombarded with questions everywhere.” Uraraka crossed her legs on the couch and set her glass in between them. “I had some woman stop me at the gym yesterday - the freaking treadmill. She told me that I was her daughter’s favorite hero, a huge inspiration, but after the articles came out, she felt so betrayed that she burned all my merch that her daughter owned since apparently Shigaraki’s past exploits resulted in the death of her husband.”

Mina winced. “Ouch, that’s…”

“How the hell am I supposed to react to that?” Uraraka questioned weakly. “She might as well have slapped me. Everyone was staring. All I could do was apologize and leave.” She looked down at her glass and ran a finger along the rim. “I can’t go back. It’s embarrassing. I’ll cancel my membership. I can run outside. It’ll be good for me.”

“Listen, it’s…” Mina pat Uraraka on the knee. “Yeah, it’s really weird and not everyone is gonna get it. Shigaraki is, uh - what’s the word…?”

“Controversial?” Uraraka suggested.

“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘super dislikable,’ but controversial sounds fancier,” Mina said, nodding in agreement. Uraraka tried not to roll her eyes or sigh. She really did. “So a lot of people aren’t gonna agree with what you’re doing-”

“We’re not doing anything!”

“-or what you’re not doing,” Mina continued, “but it’s none of their business either.” She pulled her hand away and placed it on the ground behind her so she could lean back. “The way I see it, no amount of explaining is gonna make a difference. Most people aren’t forgiving. People talk a lot about giving second chances, but not everyone is brave or nice enough to actually give them.”

Uraraka stared at her. “Wow, that’s...pretty deep.”

Mina grinned. “I watch a lot of daytime talk shows during my breaks.”

Okay, now Uraraka could roll her eyes, and her friend giggled. It did make her feel a little better, and Mina wasn’t wrong. She’d heard plenty of heroes talk about villains serving time and turning over a new leaf, but when it came down to it, the moment one of them got out of jail, they were harping on how long it would take before the former villain turned back to a life of crime. Advocating for second chances was great and all, but few people actually believed in them.

A soft look came over Mina’s face. “So you really aren’t talking that much anymore?”

Uraraka bit her lip. “No.”

“How you feeling about that?”

“Fucking peachy,” Uraraka grumbled.

Mina snorted. “Careful - you’re starting to sound like him.”

Blowing out some air, Uraraka fished her phone out of her pocket and dropped it on the couch next to her so she could pull up their texts. “It’s probably nothing. I mean, it is nothing. It wasn’t like we were best friends or anything. Maintaining our distance was the plan, after all, so it’s for the best. No more going out in public together, keeping contact to a minimum, watching her once a week like before. It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t sound fine,” Mina pointed out.

“It’s fine,” Uraraka insisted. “We still text throughout the week for the most part, just…”

“Not as much,” Mina finished for her.

Uraraka nodded. It wasn’t like their text conversations were terrible, but something felt off with them. Shigaraki had never been super talkative to begin with, so it wasn’t like she expected him to message her every day. She didn’t. They each had lives of their own. However, she couldn’t help but feel like things were weird on his end. She was hesitant to message him first when he either took a while to respond or shot back short messages like he didn’t want to talk.

And then other times he would send her four texts in a row, like some sort of explosion and he couldn’t hold anything in. They’d ended up texting for a full hour yesterday over absolutely nothing. He vented about work, how Yukiko kept swearing in public and trying to climb over his shoulder instead of sitting nicely in his arms, some idiot on the train asking weirdly invasive questions about her, and everything in between.

She’d kind of missed it, but she wasn’t about to admit that either. It waded into waters that she did not want to tread right now, especially when she wasn’t sure how he felt.

Well, maybe she did, considering his last text was a rather emphatic: this sucks.

He could’ve been talking about the struggles with his WiFi connection that was causing his games to lag online (and consequently get him killed in humiliating ways that Kaminari liked to make fun of), but she didn’t think that was it.

“I just wish this whole thing would blow over,” Uraraka huffed. “It’s annoying.”

“Hm, they probably aren’t gonna just let it go,” Mina said, tapping her chin. Uraraka dropped her head back against the couch and groaned. “But you could do something to throw them completely off - make them realize that they were wrong.”

Uraraka peered at her suspiciously. “What do you mean?”

“Well, the media thinks you and Shigaraki are dating, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Then you do something to prove that you’re not dating,” Mina said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. Uraraka stared at her. How did she do that? She’d been trying to do that for two weeks to no avail. It didn’t matter what she said. No one seemed to believe her, not when they could just whip out a few short paragraphs in a magazine and throw pictures in her face. “You go on a date with someone else!”

Oh. Oh, that was utterly ridiculous.

Uraraka furrowed her brow. “I can’t just- That’s silly.”

“Aw, c’mon, it’ll be good for you and it’ll totally throw the media off!” Mina declared excitedly. “When’s the last time you went on a date anyways? Unless the night you and Shigaraki went to the movies together-”

“That wasn’t a date!” Uraraka interrupted hastily, her cheeks burning pinker than normal.

A grin flickered across Mina’s face. “Well then it’s been entirely too long. Since Bakugou? Oh, gods, girl, you need to go on a date. It’s been too long! You need someone to wine and dine you properly. And then, when they see you out with someone else, they’ll jump on that and forget all about Shigaraki.”

Maybe it wasn’t a terrible idea, but Uraraka still didn’t like it. She picked up her glass of wine with both hands and lifted it to her lips as if hiding behind it. “Who would I even go on a date with? I don’t know anyone even the slightest bit interested, and I’m not asking some random person.”

“You’re in luck,” Mina chirped, “because I know the perfect guy!”

“Really?” Uraraka replied flatly, not believing her in the slightest.

“Oh yeah,” Mina continued excitedly. “This guy at my agency totally has a thing for you. He asks about you here and there, but you weren’t interested in dating, so I never said anything. You’ve actually met him a few times, but it was like really brief, so you might not remember him.”

Uraraka sighed. “You’re setting me up with a coworker?”

“I think you’d really like him!” Mina insisted, winking playfully. “He’s got a kinda bad boy attitude, which apparently you like.”

Uraraka shook her head. She did not like that type. Bakugou might have acted like a bastard at times, but he wasn’t a bad boy by any means. Deku certainly hadn’t been. And Shigaraki - not that she liked him in that way or anything, but if she did, he might have been one before, but he was now basically the poster boy for suburban dads now with that minivan and those khakis.

“Just one date,” Mina said. “The media will see you all out, realize you and Shigaraki aren’t a couple, and then people will see that they were wrong about you.” She clapped her hands together. “Maybe it’ll go really well and you’ll like him a lot!” Leaning forward, she snatched Uraraka’s phone off the couch. “I can give you his number.”

“I don’t know-”

“But I’ll give him your number because I know you won’t text first.” Mina paused and looked up to her, a more careful expression coming over her. “Unless you don’t want me to - and then I won’t, I promise. I won’t push you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. It’s just an idea.”

Dropping her shoulders, Uraraka sank back into the couch. “It’s...probably the only decent idea.” She set the glass of wine down again without having taken a sip of it. “And you’re right. I haven’t dated since Bakugou, which kinda sucks. It would be...nice, I guess. I just haven’t thought about it in a while. It didn’t seem like a big deal. I mean, it isn’t, but - you know.”

“Yeah, I know, but getting out and about will be good for you,” Mina said. “Plus, it’ll get those idiots to stop harping on you for soundbites.”

“Ugh, what if they think I’m cheating on him?” Uraraka groaned.

“You cheating on Tomura Shigaraki?” Mina laughed. “Now that would be a story! You’d never. You’re like Japan’s sweetheart. That’s why the whole thing was so shocking.” She waved a hand in dismissal and then plugged in this new guy’s phone number. “You’ll have fun and even if you don’t, hey, free dinner and drinks. That’s what I always say.”

“You’re so positive.”

“Always!”

Uraraka hesitated but then finished her glass of wine. She was going to need another one after this, especially as she watched Mina text her coworker. A date. It was just a blind date or whatever. She didn’t have to go on a second one if she didn’t enjoy herself. Even if it ended up just being a means to get the media off her back, it was fine. Mina was right: she might have fun. It might be a good thing. It could even amount to something.

(Shigaraki was right: this sucked.)

Chapter 33: Is this a feeling? 10/10 Do Not Recommend

Notes:

So uh funny story... This chapter was supposed to end differently, but then I realized that didn't work because I have to switch POVs for the next scene, and then I realized that the next three scenes fit better together as one chapter. And then I checked the word count for this and it was over 7k. So. Here we are. This chapter's timeline is concurrent with the last chapter. So the third one is when both Uraraka's and Shigaraki's POVs converge, hence why I ended up moving some stuff around. Also, the theme for this chapter is definitely, "What is This Feeling?" from Galavant. That's a Shigako song now.

Chapter Text

Shigaraki anticipated getting the cold shoulder from most people, but he hadn’t expected it from his own daughter. He picked her up from daycare almost every day at the same time, but for some reason, she wasn’t happy to see him today. She was always happy to see him when he got off work to pick her up, crawling over to him haphazardly or scooting along whatever she was holding onto in an attempt to walk until she fell on her ass or face. Yukiko would cry out in delight, pant like an excited dog, or call out, “Dada!” whenever she saw him walk into the room.

But today, she took one look at him and burst into tears.

“What the hell?” Shigaraki exclaimed, taken aback by the negative response. Had he done something wrong this morning when he dropped her off? He didn’t think so. It had been an average morning. She fought with him a little, like usual, but as soon as he was out the door, she was fine. He always waited until he heard her stop crying. Had something happened at daycare while he was gone? They would’ve texted him, right? Why would it affect the way she reacted to him? Did she blame him for not being there to help her?

Did she blame him for not being there?

Did she blame him–?

“Oh, this is normal,” a daycare worker reassured him.

Shigaraki gawked at the woman. “How is her crying at the sight of me normal?”

“It’s a sign that she’s comfortable enough around you to act out,” the daycare lady patiently told him. “Maybe she’s nervous to cry or make a scene in front of us or strangers, but she’s okay to do it once she sees you.”

Trying not to scowl, lest he wanted to make Yukiko cry even more, Shigaraki scooped her from the floor and hugged her against his chest. It was a little hard from all her squirming and pushing, but surely he was stronger than an almost one-year-old baby. He couldn’t understand why she was fighting him so much on this. She normally loved to be held. It was all she wanted. Half the time, she got upset if he didn’t hold her. What the hell was her damage?

“Okay, well, we’re going home,” Shigaraki grumbled. Yukiko downright screeched into his ear as she actually fought with him. “Now you’re just being embarrassing.”

Honestly, the only reason the daycare employees here weren’t wondering if he was trying to kidnap her was because they knew him. Hm, maybe the security was too lax after all. He’d thought it would be stricter because a lot of hero’s kids also went here, but they didn’t ask him any security questions. Then again, he supposed it wasn’t normal for them to live with someone who could transform their appearance by simply drinking someone’s blood. Infiltration and impersonation were everyday things for him.

Toga really should’ve gone into the private security business. Maybe she could do that once she was deemed medically clear. Huh. He hadn’t thought about her in a while. She was still in the mental facility as far as he knew. Jin had been released, but he was kept under close observation and had to attend therapy often. Being in contact with Touya and Iguchi was enough of a struggle on his parole officer.

After snagging Yukiko’s backpack from her cubby, he left the daycare and went home. Not long after he started the walk home did she calm down, playing with her stuffed animals in her stroller, but fuck if it hadn’t been a whole ordeal. Maybe she had some teeth coming in? Had she not taken a nap again? Was she hungry? Had she ate enough? Was she constipated? Had she pooped today?

Why the fuck did he think about shit so often these days?

This was around the time he would usually fish out his phone and shoot Uraraka a text, but he paused the moment his hand touched his cell in his back pocket.

When they had decided to not spend so much time around each other, that hadn’t included texting or calls, but the first week she wasn’t around, he suddenly became hyper-aware of how much they did talk. Going back through his texts confirmed that they didn’t even talk about Yukiko all the time. They just...talked. About nothing. About absolute bullshit that didn’t matter but somehow filled up their day. She liked to make fun of the cheesy commercials that heroes did, and he’d joke about her potential offers.

Don’t tempt me. I will do a commercial for hairspray for money.

He wanted to tell her that Yukiko had thrown a fit. He wanted to ask her why she would do that. He wanted to vent and complain and have her tell him that he was a good father and had done nothing wrong – that babies got cranky for no reason because they were babies and didn’t understand the world yet. He just wanted to hear from her after three days of not texting her and absolutely hating the radio silence. She was giving him the space she thought he wanted, which should’ve made him happy, but instead, it frustrated him.

He did want space – or at least, he thought it would be best. Maintaining the same level of contact while not seeing each other just wasn’t viable. If they were going to distance themselves from one another, it should be on every level, not just seeing each other. Very likely, they would have to move on. (Move on from what?) Being around him was detrimental to her career. They could wait for the shit to blow over, but the moment they started hanging out again (if they did), things would go right back where they were. There would be a shitstorm all over again. Nothing would change. The only way it would change was if this distance remained permanent.

And if it was going to remain permanent, then he needed to get back to where he was before he met her – and he needed to ease Yukiko into that too. They had to get used to her not being around. If only that were so simple. Ever since she had been in his life, all Yukiko had known was Uraraka was in it as well.

The rest of the night went easily enough. It was the days that sucked the most. Now that his and Yukiko’s pictures had been published in multiple trashy magazines, his identity wasn’t so much of a secret anymore. His coworkers knew who he was and customers had a better idea as well. He could tell his boss wanted to fire him, but he didn’t have a solid reason for it, especially with All Might’s letter of recommendation sitting in his file. He did his job better than ever, but it wasn’t good enough. It never was. Luckily, his landlord didn’t seem to care as long as he paid his rent.

Still, Shigaraki was frustrated. He spent most of his mornings and afternoons dodging questions and wary looks and then he came home to a cranky ass baby. Yukiko wasn’t always like that, of course. After her initial freak out, she was just fine. They went home, ate dinner, and watched some movies until she passed out against him on the couch. He was too beat to do much of anything else, even though he hadn’t done much today. He flipped through his phone ildly, the urge to text someone thrumming in his mind.

He skipped over Uraraka’s texts and pressed on Touya’s: This is really pissing me off.

A few minutes later, Touya’s chipper as ever response came: Destroy anything yet?

Therapy taught me that doesn’t do shit to help.

Might make you feel better.
Either that or you can just ask Uraraka to come over.

Shigaraki grit his teeth. He hated how Touya immediately jumped to that conclusion, but… He wasn’t wrong either. The idea that he wanted Uraraka to come over frustrated him. He shouldn’t want that. He shouldn’t want anything to do with her. Cutting people out of his life used to be so easy. Honestly, it wasn’t until after Sensei was taken away that he started to get attached to people. Suddenly, the idea of losing people made him itch. He couldn’t say it scared him, but he hadn’t liked it. And then he lost Magne and he thought he might lose Sako…

Yukiko being in his life made things twenty times worse. If he lost her, he had no idea what he would do. He had watched movies where parents went on benders after the loss of their children, going to whatever lengths to save or avenge them, even doing things that might be considered villainous. Well, he already had that base covered. It wasn’t a question over what he would do for Yukiko.

It was a wonder over what he wouldn’t do.

And was what they were doing the best for her?

Shigaraki sank in his seat. What they were doing for her, like he and Uraraka were a team when it came to Yukiko. It was stupid. He should’ve never let her get this close in the first place. Hell, he didn’t know how it happened. He could have sworn he wasn’t going to let her anywhere near him. She could spend all the time with Yukiko, but they didn’t need to be involved with one another. What in the hell happened? What changed? Had he grown so weak that he actually liked, enjoyed, and wanted to be in a hero’s company?

Had he grown so used to her that he didn’t even think of her as a hero? As just Uraraka?

Fucking idiot, Shigaraki scolded himself, even as he took a picture of Yukiko passed out next to him and sent it to Uraraka, like the weak bastard he was. Civilian life really had worn him down. Any one of his enemies could find him and– Well, probably not pick him off. If anyone so much as threatened him or Yukiko, he’d probably go feral like one of those parents in the movies but a hundred times worse. So much for the work on his impulse control in therapy.

Uraraka’s response was almost immediate, which he figured, since she was off tonight: Aaaah she’s so cute!

“Tch,” Shigaraki huffed before he typed back a needless response.

Fucking KO’d.

You should probably be KO’d too then.

I’m fine. Shigaraki hesitated, but his fingers typed of their own accord. You still coming over Friday?

Normally, she responded back quickly. This time, she didn’t. His heart did some weird thing that felt like it dropped into the pit of his stomach. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like that he was staring at his phone like a dumbass waiting for her response. He didn’t like how much even just texting her for a minute put him in a better mood. This was so fucking stupid. What was he doing?

Sorry, my noodles almost boiled over. Haha Yeah! I’m still coming over.

Shigaraki let out a sigh and immediately growled in irritation. This was stupid. He was acting like a complete idiot and didn’t even know why. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Great, now he sounded whiney. Fuck. Why was this so goddamn awkward? It hadn’t been like this in months. He should’ve never gotten comfortable.

Do you not want me to come over?

No it’s fine. I just don’t want you to feel obligated or like you have to sneak around like a ninja.

I can be very sneaky. Oh I can come in via the window from the alley. That way no one will see me go in the building.

You joke but watch someone take a picture and suddenly the media is wondering why Uravity is sneaking in someone’s bedroom window.

Obviously for an 8pm romp

Shigaraki’s grip on his phone tightened for a second, almost causing him to grip it with all five fingers. When he caught his reflection in the darkened television, he noticed the corners of his lips were turned up, almost like he was grinning, and promptly wiped the look off his face. He’d spent enough time grinning by himself in the dark and looking like an absolute creep. He didn’t need to do that now. Still, he hadn’t been expecting the comeback. Uraraka was so kind and pleasant that it was almost easy to forget that fire inside of her too. Almost.

That would do wonders for your public image.

Think I should just use the front door then?

Smart thinking

Boo boring

He let the conversation die there, a strangely sated feeling in his mind. She’d get the picture. At least she hadn’t complained about his abrupt conversation endings before. Closing his eyes, Shigaraki dropped the hand holding the phone on the couch and leaned back. He couldn’t afford to fall asleep out here before putting Yukiko to bed, but he was suddenly tired as hell. He just needed a few minutes to gather up the strength to put her to bed, and then he would be fine. He’d be okay. He’d…

*

Two days later, Shigaraki was contemplating whether or not he could literally die of boredom at work when the front door chimed and pulled his attention away from the aggressive scribbling on a notepad. Definitely shouldn’t give up his day job for a career in art, even if random strangers used to ask if he was an artist because of his gloves. He glanced up and caught eyes with one of his coworkers stepping into the store. It was the girl he let go home early the day that Yukiko rolled over for the first time, Makino something. He should probably know her name by now, but it had never seemed important.

Like most of his coworkers had done since the article came out, Makino quickly ducked into the back room where their storage and office was located. Shigaraki sighed and dropped back into the chair behind the counter. Not that he had thought any of his coworkers would be okay with working with the former leader of the League of Villains, but it was frustrating to watch them all scurry away and twitch around him. Contrary to what they might’ve feared, he wasn’t going to do anything to them. If he was, he would’ve done it already when they acted like shit stains around him.

Whatever. He had two hours left until he could clock out and then he would be gone. If Makino wanted to stay back there the entire time or pretend to do storage shit, he was fine with that. One less person for him to deal with. Maybe he could switch her and work in the back. His boss would probably prefer him not being the face of their store, and it would make it easier for the other employees to forget he was around until he emerged out of storage like a gremlin.

“Um, Shimura?” a tentative voice called from his left. He glanced up and connected eyes with Makino, who flushed bright red and actually jumped a little. Well, he supposed it was nice to know he hadn’t completely lost his edge, but she was still standing there fiddling with her fingers and hadn’t run away, so maybe not. “Uh, unless you’d rather go by– No, no, then you’d just go by that, wouldn’t you? No-not that it matters! I, um, just wasn’t sure–”

“Shimura is fine,” he cut in gruffly. “It’s my real name, after all.”

“Oh, okay.” Makino stopped wringing her fingers, but a nervous energy still exuded from her.

Shigaraki let out a sigh. “Was there something you needed?”

“No, I…” She dropped her gaze to her shoes.

He tried not to roll his eyes, but it was hard. “Something you wanted to say?”

“Well, it’s just that… We – our coworkers, I mean – we’ve been talking and–”

“Oh, good,” Shigaraki bit back. “Nice to know there’s a group chat about me. Guess it’d be awkward if I was in it too.”

Makino literally squeaked. “It’s-It’s not like that! Well, it was started before the news story came out, but like… You never seemed interested in it, so I didn’t invite you and…”

Lifting a hand, Shigaraki stopped her from rambling further. “I don’t care. Shit talk me all you want. Do it to my face or behind my back. It really doesn’t matter.”

A horrified expression crossed Makino’s face. “No-no, it’s not– I guess it is, but– It’s just that–” She looked away from him again, more embarrassed than scared. She screwed her face up, furrowing her brow and twisting her lips. “A few of us had guessed that you might be...someone else.”

“You can say a villain,” Shigaraki told her blandly. “I’m not gonna magically turn into a monster at the word.”

“I know,” Makino mumbled. She chewed on her bottom lip, an action she must’ve been doing quite a lot of since it looked raw. How much had she worried herself over this before coming out here? Had she realized he was working today? She must have. He worked every weekday morning like clockwork. “I guess you know that most everyone isn’t happy that you’re here. Some people freaked out. Others were mad. A few have said that they want to talk to upper management to get you out.”

He couldn’t say that he was surprised. Even their boss wanted him gone, so it made sense that he’d be getting pressure from his other employees. As much as he worked his ass off here, as many hours as he worked, it was still retail. He could always be replaced. He wasn’t needed here. They could fire him and easily find someone with a less problematic (much cleaner and nicer) background. He should probably be looking for another job, which wouldn’t be easy since he’d kind of been outed more or less.

And he really didn’t want to rely on All Might again just to get another shitty ass retail job.

“The thing is,” Makino continued softly, “when I really needed it, you helped me out. You let me go home early even though you had your baby girl waiting for you and–”

Shigaraki shook his head. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“It kinda was,” Makino said flatly. “My dad died.” Shigaraki froze, a blank expression on his face as he stared back at her. All this time, he hadn’t known. He hadn’t even asked when he saw her at work the next time. It hadn’t even occurred to him. “There was an accident at his work. He didn’t make it, but because of you, I was able to see him one last time. I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t… And you took my shifts for the rest of the week. No one else did that.”

For a moment, Shigaraki opened his mouth, but nothing came out. What was he supposed to say? Sorry? My dad is dead too? At least you didn't kill him and not know if it was on purpose or an accident? That day at work had been so long ago, all he could really remember was the indignation over Yukiko rolling over for Touya. He’d been so upset that he had missed it, so frustrated with himself for not being there for her, that he kind of forgot about Makino or why she asked to leave. It had never occurred to him that he was being nicer than anyone else at work. When her shifts got posted the next day, he took them because he needed the money and Yukiko’s daycare gave him the opportunity.

“I didn’t do it to be nice,” Shigaraki told her, doing his best to not think about what would happen to Yukiko if he died suddenly like Makino’s father. “I just needed some quick cash.”

“You’re raising a kid on your own,” Makino pointed out. “I’d be shocked if you didn’t need the money.” She took a deep, shaky breath and finally lifted her gaze to meet his. Anxiety still glimmered in her eyes, but it wasn’t the same as before. There was a determined set to her mouth that hadn’t been there earlier too. “To be honest, you’ve done more for this store than anyone else that works here. Everyone is so…”

“Lazy? Stupid?” Shigaraki offered.

Makino bit her lip again, but almost like she was fighting back as smile this time. “Kind of, yeah.” The look on her face dropped, going embarrassed again. “And most of the guys are, um, a bit...creepy… They’re not always bad, but getting told I’m ‘not like other girls’ and having weird things said to me sucks after a while. You don’t…” She shrugged uncomfortably. “You’re kinda intense and really grumpy, but you’ve never made me feel awkward. I’ve never felt like, you know, super uncomfortable around you.”

“Well, it’s nice to know that, former villainy aside, you don’t consider me a misogynistic creep,” Shigaraki said dryly. She gave him a helpless look. There wasn’t much else she could say as a positive about him. It wasn’t like he was friendly and kind. He didn’t crack a lot of funny jokes or go out of his way to befriend people. He wasn’t warm in the slightest to anyone here. “So was that it?”

“Yes, well, no–” Makino rocked on her feet. “I still didn’t know whether to talk to you or not. Pretty much everyone has said they’re just gonna…”

“Pretend I don’t exist?”

“Yeah, basically, but then I read all the articles about you and Uravity–”

Shigaraki scoffed. “They’re not–”

“I didn’t think they were real,” Makino said with a weak laugh. “I mean, they’re trashy tabloid magazines. Pretty much everything in them is for entertainment value. The astrology columns might be closer to the truth.” She wasn’t wrong about that. He flicked through them and found himself more likely to believe his future than the stories in them. “But the pictures don’t lie. It’s pretty obvious to anyone that sees them that you are close.”

Was it? He thought of Touya’s shit-eating grin when he gave him the magazine, the little comments that he made. He thought of how fucking soft he looked in those pictures. He’d never seen himself look like that before. Honestly, he hadn’t thought he was capable of it. Kids sure did change shit. He didn’t feel any softer, maybe just weaker, a little dumber. Civilian life was weird. It threw him off. He spent most of the time not knowing what he was doing or what he was supposed to do. And when he was with Uraraka, things were both weirder and not.

“I’d never seen you with your daughter,” Makino said. “You don’t even talk about her, so sometimes I forget that you have one, but then I saw the pictures and… You really love her, don’t you?”

Shigaraki folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah, well, she’s my kid. I’d be a pretty shit dad if I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you would be.” Makino stuck her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. “Like I said, I wasn’t really sure what to think about you, especially with everyone else always talking, but I thought of what you did for me, even if it wasn’t to be nice, and then… Uravity is like my favorite hero. I know everyone thinks of the top ten, but she’s incredible, and she’s so strong. Plus, she’s relatable. You can tell how genuine she is in every interview she does. And then all the bullshit she went through during her break up with Ground Zero?”

At his mention, Shigaraki groaned. “Ugh, that little prick came in here the day you left early.”

Makino gasped. “He did? Did he wanna like fight with you because of Uravity?”

“Yeah, I guess, but–” Shigaraki pointed a finger at her, and she jumped. “Don’t tell anyone I said that. I’d rather the media not get wind of that. Who knows how they would spin that?”

“I promise I won’t,” Makino swore. “I don’t wanna cause any more trouble for her. The magazines haven’t been very... nice.” No, they hadn’t been, but in time they would be. They had to forget about her eventually. There would be a juicer, more exciting story for them to latch onto, and they would move on from her. It had to happen. He didn’t want to be the reason for another hero’s downfall, as pitiful as it sounded. “Basically, if Uravity can trust you, then I think I can too. Also, my dad really liked her. He was a firefighter, so he was always fond of heroes that did rescue. And she really is a good hero. Not all of them are.”

“The Uravity Stamp of Approval,” Shigaraki drawled. “She’ll be delighted.”

Makino glanced at his phone curiously. “Do you two like...talk often?”

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why? You want something signed by her?”

“You can do that?” Makino gasped.

“Fuck it,” Shigaraki sighed. “Why not throw Chargebolt, Deku, and Entropy in there too?”

The poor girl’s eyes almost bugged out of her head. “Seriously? How many heroes do you hang out with?”

Shigaraki slid his hand over his eyes and leaned over the counter, squeezing his temples with his thumb and his middle finger. “Too fucking many.”

Seriously, how many did he know? At this point, it was ridiculous. If the media caught wind of that, any of his enemies still out and about would probably die of laughter.

*

After that super fun and totally not awkward conversation with Makino, things got a little better at work. People must have not wanted to work with him, which meant he worked with her more often than not. She did her job, knew better than to annoy him with chatter despite her obvious fangirl crush on Uraraka, and didn’t run away from him if he spoke a word to her. It worked out of the both of them, seeing as how she was interested in getting a raise. More hours meant more time to actually work and show that she deserved one. On top of that, they both got to work less with those other idiots and, in her words, creeps.

She was a good kid, even if her high pitched squealing about seeing Yukiko for the first time nearly shattered his eardrums and the windows. She hadn’t even noticed Touya, who looked almost dejected over not only being unrecognized but downright ignored. Hey, nothing topped a cute ass baby, not even a former villain. Yukiko seemed to like her well enough, hobbling around the store as Makino slowly chased her to the sound of an old Mario tune playing on the speakers.

“You good?” Touya asked as he flicked through the wall of new releases.

“Yeah, just got stuck here later than expected,” Shigaraki said, watching as Yukiko tried and failed to take a step away from a rack of toys. She fell on her butt with a solid thump, but instead of crying, she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. Meanwhile, his ass hurt just thinking about it.

Touya shot him a lazy grin. “You know, you still owe me one from the last time I had to pick up the rolly polly.”

“Would you call her something else?” Shigaraki demanded, glaring at him. “She’s not a damn bug.”

“Heathen child? Bottomless pit? Demon spawn?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Shigaraki gestured at the new releases. “Which one do you want?”

“Ah, you were always good at giving your trusty subordinates what they wanted,” Touya replied gleefully, plucking one of the games off the shelf and holding it out to him. Shigaraki snatched it from him, eyed him for another beat, and then went behind the counter to ring him up. After using his employee discount, he bought the game, bagged it up, and then handed it back to Touya, who took it with all the glee of a teenager. “Thanks, boss.”

“I’m not your–”

“Yeah, but you’re the boss here at the moment, aren’t you?” Touya waved the bag obnoxiously in the air as if to prove a point. “Oh, you doing anything Friday? Fuyumi is going out with some friends or whatever, so I was thinking–”

Shigaraki dropped into the chair. “Uraraka is coming over.”

Touya’s eyes lit up. “Is she now? You two kiss and make up in private?”

If looks could kill, Touya would be dead by now, but maybe Shigaraki had lost his touch after all. “No, she just wants to see Yukiko. I might go run some errands while she’s over. We’re not–” He glanced in Makino’s direction, but she was distracted showing Yukiko a bunch of anime-styled hero plushies. “We’re not really hanging out. We both agreed that it’s for the best if we keep our distance. It’s better this way. She doesn’t need that shit hanging over her, and I don’t wanna be in the limelight again.”

“Mmhm, because going over to your place at night is distant ,” Touya retorted dryly. Before Shigaraki could argue with him, he lifted a hand in surrender. Shigaraki clamped his mouth shut and scowled at him. Bastard. He knew he was pushing all the wrong buttons, and he was doing it on purpose. “Anyways, if you change your mind or something comes up, we should break this game in. Iguchi just got it. Maybe your hero little brother has it too.”

“He’s not my–” Shigaraki rubbed his face and sighed irritably. Touya was the one with an actual hero for a little brother, but he couldn’t let go of the fact that he and Kaminari had been in contact for years without knowing it. Such a smug bastard. Why did he keep him around? “Forget it. Whatever. I’ll let you know.”

Touya lifted a hand and turned away, but before he could leave the store, Yukiko started her racket of babbling nonsense, except for one very clear word: “Touya! Touya! Touya!” She even dropped to the ground so that she could crawl her way over to him faster. She would have to learn his name early on. It still killed Shigaraki a little every time he heard her say it.

To his credit, Touya didn’t run away, even if he looked mildly put upon. “What do you want now, brat? Haven’t you seen me enough?” Despite his complaints, it didn’t stop him from bending over and scooping her up underneath her arms. He groaned as he stood back upright and then gave her a narrow glare as he held her in front of him. “You’d choose me over Uraraka, wouldn’t you?”

“Ura!” Yukiko chimed.

“Hmph. You’re a traitor even to me.” Touya handed her over to Shigaraki. She went to him happily this time and without complaint. Fantastic. Maybe this would be an easy night. “Let me know about Friday.”

Shigaraki waved him away. “Yeah, yeah.”

Touya left without another word, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and shooting off a text as he walked out the door. As much as Shigaraki wanted to question him about his doings, Touya really didn’t dig into his business much past a few little things. A good friend would’ve pointed out that he could tell him anything – that he wouldn’t judge and only wanted to make sure he was good – but Shigaraki was not a good friend like most people. He liked his personal shit to be kept personal and so did Touya.

Besides, it wasn’t like they had ever sat down and had a heart-to-heart about how they were manipulated and abused by their father figures. They decided to help each other kill them instead. Later on, when all was said and done, it was just easy to make sure the other didn’t stray too far from the crooked and narrow. That was the kind of friends they were. It worked for them, even if other people didn’t get it.

Plus, Shigaraki was more likely to open up than Touya. He hated talking about shit even now.

“So, um…” Makino bobbed over to the front of the counter. “That wasn’t a hero.”

Shigaraki helped Yukiko stand on the counter, letting her bounce up and down. “Nope.”

“That was…”

“Yup.” Shigaraki glanced at Makino, who was tugging on her braid. “If it makes you feel any better, he’s Entropy’s older brother.”

Makino shook his head. “You sure do keep weird company.”

Tell me about it, Shigaraki thought as Yukiko sort of jumped into his arms. It was more like an awkward fall off the counter, but it was good enough.

He carried her into the back office where she could play without being seen by any customers. So far, his boss had been cool with his schedule and working with him when it came to Yukiko, but now that he was outed as Shigaraki Tomura, he didn’t want to push his luck. The only reason she was here now was because someone had called-in last minute, so he wasn’t even supposed to be here right now. Besides, it was a slow night, and Makino did her job. She could handle things on her own for another thirty minutes.

When his replacement finally showed up, Shigaraki ducked out of the store quickly. No sense in lingering somewhere he wasn’t wanted. He stayed long enough for Makino to say goodbye to Yukiko, and then he was out the door. He paused for a moment, the night he found out he was a father flashing in his mind. This was the first time Yukiko had been at the store since then. Her mother had fished her out of a duffle bag and handed her over to him so she could continue her killing spree.

Shigaraki glanced down at her in his arms, making a face when she grabbed his nose and said, “Dada.”

So much shit had changed since then. So much had happened. He’d been prepared to waste his life away pretending to be some boring civilian, a terrible sentence in itself for his crimes. People had no idea how much living like that had pained him. Even now, he felt like he wasn’t doing much, but as Yukiko fought to be put down so she could somewhat walk as long as he held her hands, chattering the whole time. Back then, she didn’t do anything but sit in his arms quietly like nothing mattered.

It was kind of like she’d come to life since then.

He let her walk a bit with him hunched over until he grew tired and picked her up. He’d left the stroller at home, having taken the minivan. It was a good thing too since it was later than usual. Still, the damn thing pissed him off. Sako couldn’t have gotten him something a little nicer? Well, beggars can't be choosers, but it wasn’t like he asked for the damn thing. Sako didn’t have to get him a vehicle, but he had. He just had to be a shit one last time.

Shigaraki was fighting with Yukiko over buckling her into her car seat (seriously, why were they so difficult?) when a voice to his right jerked him out of his muttering. “Yo, are you really Shigaraki?”

His immediate response was to pull back and hold out a hand in front of himself defensively. Well, to be honest, it was to attack outright, but he’d spent the past few years working on not immediately going for a kill. Plus, his line of sight caught his glove, and he cursed under his breath. With that stupid material covering his fingers, his deadly quirk meant exactly shit.

However, before he could angrily tug it off, the guy in front of him frantically waved his hands. “Whoa, whoa! I’m not a threat!” He laughed awkwardly. “You could, uh, call me a fan of sorts.”

Shigaraki eyed him suspiciously. The guy didn’t look like much: younger than him, around the same build, a little shorter, with short dark hair and dark eyes. Honestly, he looked plain as hell, but he knew that didn’t mean much. Chisaki hadn’t looked like much either when they first met.

Even if the guy proclaimed to not be a threat, Shigaraki tugged his glove off and slammed the door shut, effectively separating Yukiko from them. “If you’re a villain, then you can fuck off right now. I’m done with that shit, and I’m done with pathetic little wannabees too.”

“No, no, I’m not a villain!” the guy insisted. “I mean, I’ve got a record, but nothing like you. I used to jack cars for some sorta bigshot villain back when I was a kid.”

Shigaraki gestured to the minivan. “Fascinating. I’ve got a real need for speed, as you can tell.”

The guy snorted. “Yeah, you’ve really changed since I used to see you in the news.”

Taking a deep breath, Shigaraki fought the urge to roll his eyes and settled a hard look on the guy. “What the hell do you want then? I might be a former villain, but that doesn’t mean I have to be nice. You’ve got thirty seconds before I consider you a waste of breath.”

“It’s just crazy how much you’ve changed!” the guy exclaimed. “Like you’ve got a kid and you’re working a regular job and you have a car. It’s kind of inspiring, you know? Like you can do so much shit and have so much shit done to you, but you can still make it out okay.”

Oh. Huh. Well… That wasn’t exactly the response he was expecting from this weird guy on the street, but it wasn’t awful. And he wasn’t wrong. Shigaraki had made it out okay, hadn’t he? By all accounts, he should probably still be in prison. Even if he had been manipulated for years, even if his entire life had been twisted by All for One, he had still committed those crimes. He’d still hurt so many people and ruined so many lives. What right did he have to be here with her?

“Yeah,” Shigaraki muttered, “I guess.”

“Plus,” the guy continued, a wolfish grin sliding onto his face, “you got yourself a hot piece of ass – and she’s a pro hero. That’s really the dream for someone like us, huh?”

Shigaraki stared at him, his brain crashing harder than a computer with a blue screen. “What?”

The idiot put his hands on his hips. “Sure, you can be all whatever about this” – he gestured to the minivan – “but don’t be modest about that. You swung yourself one of the hottest heroes around! Uravity is definitely in the top ten as far as that’s concerned. I mean, yeah, her costume covers up everything, but it’s so skin-tight that you can picture her–”

“Stop.” Shigaraki held up a hand. “Just...shut the fuck up.”

“C’mon,” the guy said, “you can’t clam up about that! You were a villain and now you’re with a hero! Plus, her Zero Gravity quirk? That oughta make for some fun times, right? What’s she like?”

It took everything in Shigaraki not to explode: every second of therapy, every moment of self-reflection, every ounce of self-control – all for this moment. Taking a deep breath, he dropped his hand instead of wrapping it around the guy’s neck and throttling him. Why he thought saying any of this shit to him was a good idea was beyond Shigaraki, but here he was, asking him what Uraraka was like and not her personality. The minivan, baby, khakis, and polo shirt really had done a number on his threatening aura.

“I’ll tell you this once, and you can tell all your little rat friends,” Shigaraki said in a low voice. “I don’t know ‘what she’s like’ because nothing has happened between us – not a goddamn thing. I haven’t swung shit . I don’t have a hot piece of anything because we’re not fucking together.”

The guy frowned. “But I thought–”

“You thought fucking wrong,” Shigaraki cut in coldly, “or not at all.”

“The articles–”

“Were wrong, you dipshit. It’s a bunch of bullshit to sell magazines.” Shigaraki clenched his hands into fists, forcing all of his tension into them, and then relaxed them, letting it bleed out. Stay calm. Relax. Have a meltdown later. (When? After Yukiko went to bed? That was so long from now.) He huffed. “There isn’t some cheesy, stupid love story between former enemies. We aren’t having some sordid, passionate, forbidden affair. You know what it is?”

“What?”

Shigaraki poked him in the chest hard enough to make the guy flinch. “None of your goddamn business.” He glared so heatedly that the guy gulped. Pride flickered in Shigaraki’s chest briefly. There you go. That was better. “Stop talking about her like she’s an object. Show some fucking respect and not be such a shitwad.”

“Damn, I didn’t think you were gonna get so worked up,” the guy whined. “I’ve just always wanted to know what it was like to get with a hero. They seem like they’d be down for a good time to blow off steam.”

“If you don’t shut up right now,” Shigaraki snarled, “you’re gonna find out firsthand why I don’t have an official murder count on my records.”

The guy paled so fast that it was a wonder he didn’t pass out. He all but scrambled away, any and all thoughts of camaraderie vanished from sight. Well, if he had really been a fan of him back in his vigilante or villain days, he should have seen something like this coming. He’d spent the better part of his time insulting and threatening people back then. Maybe he didn’t threaten people as much, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Just hearing that guy talk about Uraraka like that had pissed him the fuck off. He deserved to piss his pants a little.

“Fucking moron,” Shigaraki grumbled as he walked around to the driver’s side. “She saves god fucking knows how many people only to deal with total creeps.” He glanced briefly in the direction where the guy was hurrying and pointed a finger at him. “And you better not go in that game store! I’ll know if you did! You’ve been a weirdo enough for one day!”

As soon as the guy bolted across the street in the opposite direction, Shigaraki got in his car. Yukiko was happily chewing on her stuffed dinosaur, probably soothing one of her many teeth coming in. He sighed and sank in his seat behind the wheel. It was frustrating. Shit kept getting thrown at him from every angle, and he didn’t know how to deal with it. He’d thought when someone finally approached him on the street, it would be to threaten him, but so far, one person gave him a baby, another person helped him with said baby, and now he was getting asked about his nonexistent…

“This really sucks,” Shigaraki muttered to himself.

“Ura?” Yukiko asked.

“No Ura,” Shigaraki said. He started the van, and Yukiko started to cry. So much of a good night.

Chapter 34: it's not jealousy as long as you don't care

Notes:

One of these days, I'll get to the scene I had in mind, but I realized that's gonna be like 4k and... I don't know. The boys wanted to be boys. Also, thanks to the people on my server for coming up with an idea for Uraraka's date. It was so funny that I ran with it.

Chapter Text

Mina set up the entire date, which was probably a terrible idea, but she was so enthusiastic about helping her that Uraraka simply let it happen. She was better at planning events and going out than her, so it couldn't be too bad. Plus, it was a blind date, which meant she wasn't supposed to know who it was. She wasn't sure why Mina was so insistent on that factor. Maybe it was supposed to add more allure to the whole idea.

There were a lot of things that were supposed to happen, but Uraraka knew life rarely went along with that route. If that were the case, she wouldn't be texting some mystery man here and there throughout the day. And she certainly wouldn't be wishing that it was someone else texting her. Honestly, life had been less complicated when she missed Bakugou.

Nonetheless, she couldn't make too much of a fuss. This whole thing might actually help out. She could really like the guy. The date would get the media off her back. Shigaraki would stop being dragged into this mess because of her. This...was a good thing. She had to remember that. Even if the date didn't go super well, it couldn't be bad if Mina thought they would get along. She knew Uraraka well and wouldn't set her up with someone awful on purpose.

Right? She wouldn't do that, would she? In an attempt to push her and Shigaraki together since she had hinted multiple times that there might be more between the two of them...

No, Uraraka was being absurd. Mina wouldn't stoop to that level. She genuinely wanted Uraraka to be happy. Also, she had never been manipulative like that, especially not with her friends, and schemes weren't her thing.

Okay! Everything's good to go! Date @ your fave restaurant @ 7 on Friday! No flaking!

Uraraka knocked the fridge shut with her hip and meandered over to a table in the breakroom as she read the message. She tried not to sigh. It wasn't this guy's fault that she wasn't as excited as she should be. After all, when was the last time she'd gone on an actual date? She should be grateful that any guy was willing to date her when they knew Bakugou was her ex. She had to get over this apathy. This could be an absolutely brilliant night if she didn't hold herself back.

I won't. I promise.

However, right when Uraraka sat down and set her phone aside, a thought popped into her mind. Oh no. Friday night? As in this Friday? That wouldn't work. When Mina had asked her what days she was free, Uraraka had told her what days she had off. At the time, she and Shigaraki hadn't decided what day she could come over to see Yukiko, but they'd eventually made plans for Friday. She couldn't cancel on Yukiko. That would be awful! Shigaraki would think she was bailing on them, slowly pushing them out of her life.

Actually, wait, I can't do Friday night. I already made plans.

Girl! I got reservations and everything! He even took the night off!

Sinking in the chair, Uraraka groaned and hastily typed back: I'm supposed to watch Yukiko. I already told Shigaraki I would.

This whole media mess is affecting him too, isn't it? I'm sure he'd understand you trying to take the heat off him. I mean, I totally want this date to be more, but c'mon!

That was true. The two of them had talked about what else they could do aside from not hanging out in public anymore. It sucked when it was so nice outside these days. Sure, it got too hot on some days, but it would've been fun to take Yukiko to the pool. Not that Shigaraki would ever willingly step foot in a public pool, but she could probably convince him since Yukiko had never gone. He wouldn't want to miss any more of her firsts. Just the thought of him scowling under an umbrella fully clothed made her snort. It would be so funny. Besides, even if he didn't enjoy it, she bet Yukiko would. She loved bathtime.

But they couldn't do stuff like that, not with the paparazzi hanging on her trail. So far, only one person had approached Shigaraki. It had not been pleasant. He'd nearly disintegrated the guy's camera, stopping himself only because he knew it would violate his probation, land him back in prison, and maybe even have Yukiko taken away from him. He had to be on his best behavior, which was not convenient when he was being harassed in magazines and online.

Let me talk to him.

He'll be fine. You can go see her on Saturday.

I guess. I just don't like canceling on her and it's so last minute.

Unless you think he'll be jealous. ;)

Uraraka was not going to respond to that, her cheeks burning as she switched over to her text conversation with Shigaraki. They hadn't spoken since they decided she could come over on Friday, which had been two days ago. It was strange to think about how much they had talked with one another before the article came out. It hadn't seemed like that much before, but even if it was just a text or two, they'd messaged each other daily. She tried not to think too hard on that as she shot him one.

Hey! So I know we talked about me coming over on Friday, but could I come over on Saturday instead? Mina came up with this plan for me to go on a date to get the media off our backs and she set it for Friday night.

She set her phone down and picked up her chopsticks to eat her lunch. The minutes ticked by painfully slow, her eyes darting to the phone resting next to her bowl. She could barely focus on eating, but she managed to push through it, only checking her phone twice. It wasn't that big of a deal. If he got mad about it, well, there was nothing she could do. If he didn't care, then that was good, right? She was trying to fix this mess. Waiting for it to simply fade into the background wasn't an option. Once the media got a hold of something like this, they didn't let it go unless something bigger came up.

Right as she neared the end of her lunch break, her phone buzzed loudly on the table. She opened up the text from Shigaraki, her eyes glued to the screen.

Yeah sure

Oh. Okay. Well. That was easier than she expected, but... It kind of stung. Uraraka wasn't sure why the simple response hurt so much, but it did. She frowned, debating on if she should say something else, but then clicked off the screen and slid it into her pocket. Even if she did thank him, he wouldn't respond. He used to after a while, but somehow, she knew he wouldn't this time. Things were coming to an end. He knew it. She knew it. What was the point in hanging onto these threads?

Stop being so melodramatic, Uraraka scolded herself. He's at work. He might be busy.

Right, of course, that was probably why he hadn't responded for thirty minutes either. Just because this was her lunch break didn't mean it was his. She was on a weird swing shift right now, so it was the busiest time the store got during the day. He complained that all the nerds showed up at once as if there was a secret signal calling them to the store to annoy him. She would thank him and apologize later, maybe even poke some fun at this whole date ordeal. He might find it funny. After three years, she finally scored a date. Sort of. She guessed it didn’t really count if Mina got her the date.

*

Shigaraki didn't care. He really didn't.

It didn't come as a terrible shock when Uraraka texted him. He felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket, but hadn't been able to check it right away. He'd been busy at work, dealing with a sudden rush of absolute idiots while simultaneously making sure some creep didn't bother Makino. The asshole was using her job to his advantage, getting all up in her space and making her obviously uncomfortable. Shigaraki couldn't do much as a civilian, but he could do a little something as a manager. After the tenth game he asked her to find, he stepped in and offered to help since she clearly was struggling to do her job.

Makino got the picture immediately without him even looking at her. Before the guy could even open his mouth and pass things off as fine, she darted away, jumping in to help a mother look for a specific game and action figure for her son. The asshole hadn't been pleased at all, picking out the game he wanted right away and skulking off to the register where Shigaraki rang him up and sent him on his unhappy, little way. It wasn't much, but being petty and vindictive make him feel a little better and Makino smiled at him appreciatively.

Look, Yukiko, your dad saved the day, Shigaraki thought with a snort as he pulled out his phone. One loser at a time.

And then he saw Uraraka's text and everything came to a screeching halt in his mind.

Hey! So I know we talked about me coming over on Friday, but could I come over on Saturday instead? Mina came up with this plan for me to go on a date to get the media off our backs and she set it for Friday night.

Huh. A date.

Well, that was logical. She was bound to go on one of those eventually. How long had it been since she and that little shit had broken up? Almost three years? Maybe more? Shigaraki couldn't remember nor did he care to try. That was a pretty damn long time for someone as pretty and nice as Uraraka to not date. He figured that she'd gone one a few here and there, but none of them worked out – or maybe she focused on her career. It made sense for a hero. Having relationships made them vulnerable and weak to villain attacks. Shigaraki would know; he'd exploited that multiple times.

Also, the plan her friend Ashido had come up with was...a good one, he had to admit. If the paparazzi saw her on a date with another guy, they would either a) think she was cheating on him, or b) realize they had it wrong. Either way, it would be good for her to be seen out and about with someone else besides him. They hadn't hung out in public since the article surfaced, so hopefully the media would assume that they'd ended things and she had moved on to someone much better, nicer, more handsome, heroic, perfect...

Someone that deserved her.

She also might've been slowly distancing herself from them, which also made sense since he'd done the same thing with her. He didn't text her nearly as much. It honestly aggravated him once he realized how much he did message her throughout the week. Most of it was bullshit that didn't even matter. If she could feel him pushing her away, she was bound to do the same thing, if only to protect herself. This time, it was her asking to switch to the next night, but it wouldn't be much longer before it was the next week. Longer and longer until they weren't even around each other and didn't talk and they were out of each other's lives for good.

You're so fucking dramatic, Shigaraki griped mentally as he sent her a text back.

Yeah sure

There. That was good enough. Short and to the point. He didn't need to ask her about the date. It wasn't any of his business. Plus, he didn't give a shit about it. She could do whatever she wanted with her life, and that included going on dates without telling him any of the details. Honestly, he'd prefer she didn't. If she felt the need to explain herself or talk about it, he'd probably only mock her about it.

Seriously, three years to go on a date? What were men thinking? How long had this guy been pining over her until someone else made the move for him?

Whatever. He didn't care. It would be for the best for all of them if the date worked out and went well. That would put an end to these stupid rumors. It wasn't like he wanted Uraraka to be miserable and single like him, not that he was miserable or miserable about being single. She just...deserved to have someone that treated her well and cared about her. Good people deserved that, and she was a good person with an even better heart. Too good sometimes, but she'd probably fight him on that, and he never seemed to win fights with her, not even when he was a vigilante or villain.

"Everything okay?"

Shigaraki looked up from his phone to find Makino standing in front of the register. Only a couple of kids were in the store now, hovering around a gaming system playing a demo of one of their new releases. He furrowed his brow. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Makino pointed to his phone. "You've been glaring at that like it insulted Yukiko."

"It'd be a pile of ashes if someone did that," Shigaraki grumbled as he shoved his phone into his back pocket. So far, no one in the media had said anything disparaging about Yukiko, but both Uraraka and Kaminari had assured him that they wouldn't. Insinuating things about Uraraka's personal life and dragging Shigaraki through the mud was one thing, but going after a kid under one, even when both their mother and father were murderers, would never sell.

They'd save that for when her quirk manifested, depending on what it was, especially if it was anything like his.

"Just checking," Makino said in a singsong tone that reminded him of Toga. She walked away to straighten up some shelves, leaving him alone with his apparent moodiness. Shigaraki rolled his eyes and dropped into the chair. He hadn't been glaring that bad at his phone. The lighting was shit in here. He was probably squinting.

A few hours later, when he was on his way to pick up Yukiko from daycare, his phone buzzed again. He figured it might be Touya bothering him, but when he checked it, he was somewhat surprised to see that it was Uraraka again. He hadn't thought she would text back. Maybe she got busy at work. It wasn't like she could carry on a conversation if a villain attacked. He hadn't heard anything about something big happened, but he made it a point to not allow any news station on the televisions or radio at work, and he stayed away from any news sites on his phone when it got slow.

I'm really sorry that this is so last minute, so thanks for being understanding.

Shigaraki frowned. He wasn't really being that understanding. She had conflicting plans. The only point of only hanging out in private or letting her see Yukiko at his place was to throw the media off their scent or get them to leave them the hell alone. Going on a date was a much more proactive plan. She was actually trying to do something instead of simply not doing something. He should be relieved.

TBH I'm not really looking forward to it. I can't even remember what going on a date is like.

Don't ask me, Shigaraki texted back as he walked down the sidewalk. I've never been on one.

You could always try online dating.

Oh yeah let me just sign up for Ex Villains In Search of Love. No thank you. I've already knocked up one serial killer. I don't need to meet another online.

He could just picture his luck. He knew better not to push it. Besides, if he tried online dating, Touya would never let him live it down. Iguchi wouldn't let him live it down. Kaminari would definitely never let him live it down. Shigaraki didn't get embarrassed easily (or at all), but he couldn't handle their obnoxious comments. Plus, he didn't want to bring someone random into Yukiko's life. It was better to not bring anyone in it at all. He didn't want her to get attached to someone only for them to leave. That was happening already with Uraraka. He didn't want to do that to her again.

I guess it's kinda bad to go into a date with this mindset. I feel like I'm just using him, but he's probably a nice guy.

If you don't want to go, then why are you? Shigaraki wouldn't go on some bullshit date if he didn't want anything to do with it. No one could force him to do anything, aside from Yukiko, and that was only because she was a baby and he had to do things for her. Still... It wasn't fair of him to ask Uraraka that. He knew why she was going: she felt guilty that the media was hounding him now.

Or maybe she simply wanted to start dating again and was too afraid to admit it. She could've been Ashido setting the whole thing up as an excuse to keep from having to tell people that she was lonely or wanted a boyfriend.

It took a while for her to respond, to the point where he was about to walk into the daycare, but when she finally did, Shigaraki stopped walking. He wasn't too sure what to say himself.

I don't know. Maybe because I felt like I had to do something. I dragged you and Yukiko into this. And maybe I've been holding myself back, you know? Male heroes can have a career and a personal life, but if a female hero even hints at dating, people think we're slacking off or gonna quit to have a family.

That's shit. Well, that was a poetic response, but he didn't know what else to say. It was shit. She'd been working her ass off non-stop for who knew how long, but people had only started to pay attention to her once she was single. Then she really gave it her all. Bullshit. She'd been doing that the entire time he knew her. Nothing about her personal life changed how she felt about being a hero.

Yeah it is. Mina says he's a great guy though so maybe I'm just being an ass.

I guess meeting someone through a friend is better than meeting someone at a bar and them turning out to be a serial killer.

Oh in that case, maybe Touya knows someone.

I don't want to date anyone that is friends with Touya.

Meanie. What about Kaminari?

No. Definitely not. His taste is better than Touya's but suspect at best.

I could always set you up with someone. :):)

You dated Ground Zero so I definitely don't trust your taste.

:( You're so mean. I don't know why I bother.

Right when Shigaraki was going to shoot back some smartass text, a voice in front of him asked, "Sir?" and he looked up from his phone once more to find someone looking at him. It was one of the daycare employees poking her head outside the door, but one he didn't recognize. She looked mildly concerned and wary. Shit, he'd been standing in front of the building this whole time like a weirdo while texting Uraraka.

"Ah, I'm here to pick up my daughter," Shigaraki muttered, stuffing his phone away.

The woman brightened up considerably. "Oh! Okay. And she is..."

"Shimura Yukiko."

At the drop of her name, the woman's face softened, and she gushed, "Oh, Yukiko is such a doll. Honestly, she's one of the most well-behaved children here. She even tries to help clean up toys before snack time!"

Seriously? That didn't sound like her at all. Maybe this woman was confusing Yukiko with some other mild-mannered baby. He shook his head in disbelief and brushed past her to walk into the daycare. This time at least, when he walked into the playroom, Yukiko didn't burst into hysterical tears when she saw him. Instead, she happily crawled over and then sat up on her haunches to lift her arms, demanding to be picked up. After getting her backpack, he set her in the stroller and left the building without any fuss. Huh. Maybe it wasn't such a bad day, after all.

"Ura?" Yukiko asked five minutes into their walk.

Shigaraki winced. "Sorry, kid, no Ura, but you'll see her Saturday."

He was prepared for a meltdown, but... It didn't come. She played with her toys in the stroller, perfectly content, and the walk home went without a hitch. Okay, so life wasn't terrible. So Uraraka wasn't coming over on Friday. So what? Hadn't Touya said something about wanting to hang out on Friday night? They could do that. Yeah, it would have to be at his place, but now that he didn't live in a shithole, he didn't mind having people over.

Texting and pushing a stroller at the same time was a lot fucking harder than people thought, but Shigaraki managed it with only minor awkwardness, sending a brief message to Touya. Your offer still stand for Friday?

A minute later, Touya’s expectedly annoying reply popped up on his phone: I thought you were hanging out with your girl. Finally get the bros before hoes hint?

She’s not a hoe, you idiot. Shigaraki sent the text without thinking, but as soon as Touya started typing, he realized his mistake and hastily texted again. Something came up so she can’t come over. You wanna play that game or not? I’ll just text Iguchi if you aren’t interested.

Thank fucking everything that Touya was a slow texter. He paused and then responded, Okay grouchy. Yeah I was gonna hang out with Iguchi anyways. Can we do your place? Fuyumi’s friends might come back. Two of them are hot but she’ll murder me if I talk to them.

Don’t creep on your sister’s friends. That’s weird.

I’m not creeping on them! It’s just saying hi.

Yeah sure. My place is fine. I’ll have Yukiko so I would prefer it since I can put her to bed.

Baby at a guy’s night. Lame. You’re lucky she’s an okay baby.

Yukiko is more than okay. She’s more behaved than you.

So defensive
7 work for you? Iguchi gets off at 6 and he’s gotta drive.

Yeah that’s fine

You should hit up your lil bro. We’re gonna need a healer and it’s easier if we’re all in one place.

Would you stop calling him that?

No. He’s your little brother. You inspired him to become a hero.

One of these days, Shigaraki was going to kill Touya. He was going to do it. Until then, he set his phone aside and decided to ignore him. The plans had been made. Either he texted Kaminari after he got off work or he didn’t. It wouldn’t change Friday. See, his life didn’t revolve around Uraraka and neither did Yukiko’s. They could go on just fine without her. She could go on her little date, pull the media’s attention away from him, and then… It would be fine. Things would be fine. Either they could remain...friends or they couldn’t.

As long as Yukiko was taken care of, he didn’t care. Anything in the world could happen, but if she was happy and healthy, then he was too. Shigaraki didn’t care about anything else.

*

Uraraka showed up first, if only because she arrived fifteen minutes early. She didn’t want to say she was nervous, but… She was nervous. After all, she hadn’t been on a date in gods knew how long. She and Bakugou had just sort of managed to come together. Yeah, they’d gone on dates, but they had never been planned. Most of the time, they were impromptu hangouts that ended up being dates and then suddenly they were dating and before they knew it they were living together. It had been a whirlwind romance from start to finish. The few actual plotted out dates she’d gone on beforehand had always been awkward.

The first thing she did upon getting a table was ordering a glass of wine. She needed something to calm her nerves. After it arrived, she took a healthy sip and then leaned back in her chair to text Mina. She scrolled through her inbox, spotting Mina’s name near the top, and then… Shigaraki’s right below it. The urge to text him about how dumb this whole situation popped into her mind, but she squashed it down. He wouldn’t want to hear about this date. It was boring. Besides, when she apologized later on, he mentioned that he was hanging out with Touya and the others.

Good, good. A night with the boys would be much more interesting. Honestly, she was a bit jealous, but then she felt bad for thinking so negatively. This guy Mina set her up with might be really excited about this, and here she was thinking about texting another guy about how she didn’t really want to be here but at least the food was good. How rude could she be?

“Ah, Uraraka?”

The sudden voice startled her, nearly making her spill her wine, but when she looked up to see who the familiar voice belonged to, she was shocked to see who it was.

“Monoma?” Uraraka looked around but didn’t see anyone else she knew. Huh, well, this was a good restaurant. Maybe he was here with someone too and happened to recognize her. She set her glass of wine down and held out a hand. “It’s been a while! Are you working down here again?”

Smiling indulgently, Monoma took Uraraka’s hand, shaking it, and said, “Yes, I moved back a few months ago to work at Rock Lock’s agency.”

“Oh! That’s where Mina–” Uraraka blinked, still awkwardly shaking Monoma’s hand, and then turned bright red once the realization. “Oh, you– You’re the–” All the dumb things she could say or do, and she laughed, finally letting go of his hand so she could rub the back of her neck. “I, um, wasn’t expecting to actually know the person that Mina was talking about. Why didn’t she just say it was you?”

“I thought she did until we started texting and you never brought up our time at school,” Monoma said as he sat down at the table across from her. Okay, okay, this was totally unexpected, but it wasn’t terrible. In all honesty, meeting someone new for the first time on a date sounded awful; she didn’t want to build everything up from scratch and she was feeling awkward as it was. However, out of all the people she could’ve pictured at this blind date… “I think I have to apologize as well. Ashido might have...exaggerated on a few things. She gets over-excited very easily.”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it.”

“We did talk about you a few times and I mentioned being interested in reconnecting, so Ashido took that and ran with it.” Monoma gave her an amused look. “I mean, you were one of the few Class A students that I didn’t mind.”

“Wow,” Uraraka said, pressing a hand over her heart. “Coming from you, that’s a huge compliment.”

“I might’ve been a little over-excited about that,” Monoma admitted.

“No, you think?” Uraraka teased. “Honestly, I’m still kinda shocked that it’s...you.”

Monoma laughed. “Why? You’re very attractive, skilled, and clever. Why wouldn’t I want to be on a date with you? We’re not in school anymore. You did date Bakugou, so your taste is questionable, but I’m far superior to him.”

A crooked grin made its way onto Uraraka’s face. “Sure Mina was exaggerating?”

“Hm, I guess we’ll see by the end of dinner,” Monoma shot back.

Oh, well. This...actually was kind of a nice beginning to the night. Uraraka set her phone aside and decided that, yes, she would pay attention and actually get involved in the date. Admittedly, she had planned on just doing whatever she could to get through it, but Monoma was not someone to be ignored. He was an excellent conversationalist, bright, and had a way of drawing attention to himself. It might even be fun. She wasn’t sure why he agreed to this since he had to have seen the magazine articles, but if he didn’t bring them up, she wasn’t going to talk about Shigaraki either.

Maybe this really would be a good night.

*

“I’m warning you right now,” Touya said as he strode into the apartment. He bent down and poked Yukiko in the nose. “If the rolly polly interrupts our campaign and gets us killed, it’s game over for her.”

Yukiko bounced excitedly in her bouncer and grabbed at his face. “Touya!”

“Such a brat,” Touya tsked, patting her on the head and standing upright.

Shigaraki made an incredulous face. “You sound terrifying threatening a baby.”

Iguchi was already shaking his head when he entered and shut the door. He’d graciously picked up Touya before heading over here. It must have been why Touya looked a little pale. Iguchi’s driving had only improved in that he had to obey traffic laws these days. He might opt to walk back even if he had a drink.

“I thought making video game puns and references was Shigaraki’s thing,” Iguchi said. “You two must be around each other a lot – or too much.”

Touya plopped onto the middle of the couch. “I have to speak in a language he understands.”

“I’ll speak in a language you understand, you prick,” Shigaraki grumbled. Definitely too much.

“Uh, we’re gonna be a team, right?” Iguchi asked as he awkwardly stepped over a blanket. Touya lifted his hand in the air, waving the game over his head in a taunting manner.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re gonna do the campaign together and then probably some online bullshit.” Shigaraki snatched the game from Touya and put it in the console. “It wouldn’t be fair if we played PVP. I’d cream him.”

Touya scoffed, but he didn’t argue. Good. He knew that Shigaraki wasn’t wrong.

Returning to the couch, Shigaraki put his foot on Touya’s hip and shoved him. He Touya grunted in irritation, but he got the hint, scooting over to the other side whereas Iguchi sat on a beanbag chair that had seen better days. Yukiko loved it though so he couldn’t get rid of it. She’d be devastated. While he pulled his own controller out of his backpack, Shigaraki handed Touya one of his and took his favorite one for himself. He had to charge it constantly since it had been with him since he got out of prison, but it was his.

Thank fuck they were on time. He’d been starting to have some frustrating thoughts and hadn’t wanted to follow through with them. Uraraka was on her date right now. She had mentioned that it was with another hero, but she didn’t know who. By now, she’d know their name and who they were – and he was curious. No, no, he wasn’t curious. He just...wanted to know. What if they were a serial killer in disguise? Well, she could take care of them herself. What if they were a total asshole? She’d dated Bakugou, after all. She didn’t deserve that.

(What if they were perfect for her? The perfect gentleman with the perfect job, perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect car, perfect house, perfect history, perfect quirk–)

Right as Touya started to harass Iguchi for snacks, a knock on the door drew their attention, along with Kaminari’s familiar voice, “Open up! It’s, uh– well, I guess that’s not a good joke.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “Can you get that, Iguchi?”

While Iguchi did as he was asked, Touya asked, “You locked your door with all of us inside?”

“I’m not leaving it unlocked while Yukiko is here,” Shigaraki snapped. “That’s child endangerment.”

Touya snorted. “First of all, you can talk to my dad about what child endangerment is. Second, I’m pretty sure a cheap-ass lock isn’t gonna stop anyone from getting in here if they wanted. That never stopped us.”

Okay, so Touya was right, which was why Shigaraki had considered getting another lock, but that really wouldn’t help much either. All it would take him was to tap it with his fingers and the door, along with those nice locks, would be completely worthless, reduced to dust. It wouldn’t stop Touya’s flames. Even Iguchi knew how to quickly pick a lock, having been taught the trick by Sako. The kind of people that would want to get back at him wouldn’t be stopped by any amount of locks.

“Sorry I’m late,” Kaminari said after Iguchi let him in, “but I brought snacks!”

“Are heroes allowed to eat junk food?” Touya asked even as he held out a demanding hand. “I swear, Shouto is on a meticulous diet even now. He can eat whatever wants, but he’s gotta be in tiptop shape.”

Kaminari tossed him a bag of umai boi. “Lucky for you, I ain’t a regular hero.” He patted his stomach and grinned. “But I’m still in way better shape than you.”

“You gonna let him talk to me like that?” Touya griped.

“I’m pretty sure Yukiko is stronger than you,” Shigaraki replied as he set up the game, “so yeah, I am.”

As soon as Kaminari spotted Yukiko, he dropped his bag and rushed over to her. “Hey there! It’s your Uncle Kami!” Even though she wasn’t familiar with him, she got swept up in his excitement and started to jump again. She let him pull her out of the bouncer and squealed in delight as he lifted her into the air and spun her around. “Woo! Look at you go! You can fly!”

After eyeing them for a moment, Touya returned his attention to the screen. “One of these days, when she’s older, she’s gonna question why she has so many uncles.”

Kaminari brought Yukiko down and held her protectively against his chest. “You should be grateful to be considered one of them. This is a precious human being.” He held her out and spun around again. “You’re gonna be the most loved baby ever. We can’t tell Sero, but I think you’re cuter than his little girl. Setsuna would kill me.”

“Careful,” Shigaraki warned him. “She just had a bottle so she might puke all over you if you keep spinning like that.”

That brought Kaminari to a halt. “Oh, good point.” He carefully put her back into her bouncer. “Down you go, little one. Uncle Kami’s gotta make sure your pops and his friends don’t die.” He stood upright and popped his lower back. “It’s a hard, thankless job, but somebody’s gotta do it.”

Just for that comment, Shigaraki put the game on the hardest setting. If Kaminari thought being their healer was a hard job, he was going to work even harder. It inevitably led to Touya dying most of the time, leaving him cursing and flipping out on the couch. Iguchi struggled as well while Shigaraki and Kaminari grinded through it, both of them leaning forward and smashing their buttons loudly as if it would do them any good. It proved to be a good move. The entire hour they were playing the campaign, he didn’t think about Uraraka and her date a single time.

And then Touya dropped the controller and stood up. “I need a break before we go online.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to make sure you’re prepared for those bastards that live in their mom’s basement and petty ass ten-year-olds,” Shigaraki told him.

“My hands are cramping,” Touya complained as he shook them.

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. Wimp. This was nothing compared to what he used to be like back when he was a teenager with too much time on his hands. Still, a break was necessary since Yukiko was getting antsy. He’d paused the game only once so he could let her crawl around the room, but she probably needed changed. Hopefully, she’d go to sleep like normal, but he had a feeling that there was too much excitement around. Oh well. He didn’t work tomorrow, so she could stay up a little later.

Snatching her up from the floor, Shigaraki took her to her room and changed her with only minimal fuss. She must have been at least a little tired because she didn’t fight him too much on getting into a sleeper. She babbled the entire time, jumping on the table as he slipped her arms in and then grabbing his hair. He managed to dodge her hands and then lifted her up by her hands. He paused for a moment, letting her adjust, and then let go of her hands.

After a moment of wobbling, Yukiko babbled, “Dada, dada, dada,” took one shaky step – and then fell on her ass. Shigaraki let out a breath. She seemed so close to walking, but then hesitated or fell every time.

Shigaraki took a picture and was almost finished with a quick text (I swear, she’s not walking on purpose) when Touya’s voice nearly made him drop his cell. “Who ya texting?”

“None of your business,” Shigaraki snapped, hitting send and stuffing his phone back in his pocket.

“Isn’t she on a date right now?” Touya teased, a knowing grin on his face.

“It could’ve been your sister,” Shigaraki shot back.

Touya shook his head, undeterred by the smart comment. “I might’ve believed it had you led with that, but since you avoided the answer, no, it’s definitely Uraraka.” Shigaraki couldn’t fight him on it, so he pressed his lips together and stood up straight without a word. “You trying to distract her or something?”

“No.” Shigaraki folded his arms across his chest. “She told me to send her pictures if Yukiko did anything she would consider ‘cute’ or whatever.”

“And doing something she does every day, such as falling on her ass and not walking, is cute?” Touya stuffed his hands in his pocket and leaned against the threshold as if to block him in and force him to admit the truth – whatever that truth was. Whatever he was thinking, it was wrong, and he could just tell that Touya had the wrong ideas in his head. He almost always did. “You’re trying to butt into her date. Why don’t you just ask her how it’s going?”

Shigaraki scowled. “I’m not gonna ask her about her date while she’s on it. I don’t give a shit.”

“You sure about that?” That grin on his face was so damn smug. “You’re not jealous?”

“Why the fuck would I be jealous?” Shigaraki demanded. “That’s stupid.”

Totally stupid. Utterly ridiculous. He wasn’t jealous. There was literally nothing to be jealous of. Uraraka going on a date was a perfectly normal thing even if it was the first time since he’d really gotten to know her. She had been single for a while. She was attractive, objectively speaking, strong, and funny in her own goofy way. It made sense that someone would be interested in her. Plus, this was for the best. It would bring this whole media debacle to an end and people would go back to asking him about his villain days instead of weird questions about her.

He didn’t care about it. He wasn’t disgruntled over it. He’d rather hang out with these idiots. He didn’t need her. Yukiko didn’t need her. It was fine.

Then, as if the world hated him, his phone buzzed in his pocket, alerting him to a text message. Instead of checking it, Shigaraki stayed very still, staring Touya down, while Yukiko pulled herself up via his pants leg. Kaminari and Iguchi could be heard arguing in the living room, but neither one of them moved to join in.

Touya’s eyes flickered down to Shigaraki’s pocket. “You gonna answer that?”

“No.”

“But it’s probably Uraraka. You don’t want to leave her hanging, do you?”

“It could be someone asking me to work tomorrow.”

“Then you’ll definitely need to tell Uraraka since she’s coming over, isn’t she?”

Shigaraki glowered. “Will you leave it alone?”

“No,” Touya declared. “Somebody has to help your stubborn, dumb ass.”

Why or how Touya thought this was helping him was beyond Shigaraki, but it was not doing him any good. All it managed to do was piss him off. However, after another beat, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up the text. It was indeed from Uraraka, something quick and small that let him know she was most likely busy.

So cute!

He wanted to reply. He wanted to continue the conversation. He just wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what. There was nothing he could say. Was this how she felt when he ended conversations abruptly or gave her nothing to work with? She hadn’t meant to be short, but she was on a date. She didn’t have time to talk to him, not when she was with someone else and needed to act like she was into them. Unless it wasn’t an act and she really was enjoying herself and he was just being a loser texting her.

“Fuck,” Shigaraki hissed, throwing his phone in Yukiko’s crib.

Touya leaned over to look at the phone. “What? She tell you to leave her alone?”

“No, she–”

The phone buzzed again, Uraraka’s name lighting up the screen with the text: I miss her

“Oh.” The shit-eating grin returned, pulling at Touya’s lips. “Oh, that’s adorable.”

Shigaraki hesitated, then grabbed his phone and brushed past Touya, stepping over Yukiko, who laughed when he did so. She really liked it when it walked over her, like he was a giant compared to her. Touya followed him, laughing to himself. Shigaraki dropped back onto the couch and set his phone on the table, picking up his controller to start up the game once again. Kaminari and Iguchi cut off their argument over some video game movie adaptation and Touya strolled back over to the couch.

“Let’s do this,” Shigaraki said. “I’ve got time for a few rounds before I have to put Yukiko to bed.”

“You kicking us out after that?” Kaminari asked around a mouthful of food.

Shigaraki shook his head. “Not unless you all act up and can’t keep it down.”

“Ugh, you’re such a dad,” Touya groaned as he dropped down beside him. “At least, I’m assuming that’s a dad thing. I don't have much experience there.”

“Just shut up and don’t drag our team down, okay?” Shigaraki told him as he logged them online and waited for the game to find them a match to join.

It turned out that Touya wasn’t the problem. Shigaraki was distracted, his mind pulled in different directions. He could blame it on Yukiko, who eventually demanded his attention, pulling on him and the couch to be set in between him and Touya. Somehow, she fell asleep in the middle of a match, her head against his side, while she gripped Touya’s shirt. He had tried to pry her off, but she kept grabbing it and he gave up. They played two rounds like that until he bowed out and took her to bed, letting them play without him.

Once he laid her down in her crib, Shigaraki took a step back and ran his fingers through his hair. All in all, it was a pretty good night. Even he could admit that. He hadn’t done something like this in a long time, and, as strange as it was having all of them in one place instead of online, they made a solid team. Yukiko had been very well-behaved, content to watch them game and play with her own toys. She hadn’t even shit and sent them running. He was lucky to have a kid who was so independent just a week shy of her first birthday so he could do things like this without having to get a babysitter.

See? He could do this. He didn’t need someone coming around all the time to help out with her. It was nice, sure, but it wasn’t necessary. He could be a father on his own.

When he returned to the living room, the game was paused and no one was in their seats. Touya and Iguchi were in the kitchen while Kaminari was in the bathroom. Shigaraki sat down and, after a second of hesitation, grabbed his phone and unlocked it. No texts or calls, as expected. It had been about an hour since Uraraka last messaged him. He didn’t know whether to assume that her lack of a text meant she was still on her date, if she was giving him space, or if it meant anything at all – and then he got mad about trying to figure out which one it was.

Well, now I know a sure-fire way to get Yukiko to sleep: just play first-person shooter games.

Not much long his text, Uraraka responded: Really? I always found those so stressful. Bad aim.

You just gotta practice.

Shigaraki paused, his fingers hovering over his phone’s keyboard. What was he doing? What the hell was he thinking? He’d almost typed that she could come over and practice with this game, but that was stupid. She was on a date and he was what? Seriously, what was he doing? He wasn’t jealous. He didn’t care. This was… This should be what he wanted.

“How’s Uraraka’s date going?” Kaminari asked.

Dropping his phone on the couch, Shigaraki demanded, “Why is everyone assuming–?”

“Well, you’re texting her, aren’t you?” Kaminari dropped into the beanbag, effectively stealing it from Iguchi. “I guess it’d be weird if you asked. Oh! I can!”

“Don’t you–”

Before Shigaraki could swipe Kaminari’s phone out of his hand, Kaminari literally rolled off the beanbag chair and onto the floor out of his reach, more like a child than a hero. He popped upright into the sitting position while texting at the same time, too far to be stopped, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

“There! I did it for you so it won’t be so awkward.”

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want to know how her date is going because I don’t care about it. She can date whoever the hell she wants.”

“Yeah, duh, but aren’t you curious?” Kaminari asked.

“Definitely not.”

Kaminari smiled cheekily. “Then why are you texting her when you know she’s busy with someone else?”

“Because–” Shigaraki threw his hands in the air and sank back into the couch. “Because she wanted updates on Yukiko since she couldn’t come over tonight. It’s not a big deal.”

“You can admit that you feel weird about her dating, you know.” Kaminari scratched his head. “I know it’s been a while since she and Bakugou were together, but it’s still strange sometimes, especially since he’s with Kirishima now. I kinda thought she’d move on first, but then she just...stopped dating altogether.”

“We’re not talking about this,” Shigaraki stated flatly.

“So…” Kaminari blew out some air. “You don’t want to know what she said?” When Shigaraki’s eyes jerked back to him far too fast, Kaminari chuckled. Damnit. He said nothing, but the response was enough of an answer for Kaminari to look at the text. “She said it’s going good. Turns out it’s someone we went to high school with.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Monoma? Oh, shit, I did not see that one coming. He was in Class B, so you probably don’t remember him.”

“Copy quirk,” Shigaraki blurted.

Kaminari blinked in surprise. “Oh wow, you do remember him.”

“Ah, the whole Copy quirk thing reminded me of All for One, so…” Shigaraki shrugged.

“Got it,” Kaminari said with an apologetic cringe.

Eh, it wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t that Monoma guy’s either. It hadn’t helped that the kid had looked similar to All for One back when he was younger, before the fight with All Might that disfigured him. They’d never crossed paths one-on-one, and it honestly might have been for that reason. Anything that reminded Shigaraki of All for One was burned into his mind, both in the past and the present. His therapist was trying to work on that, but it was admittedly one of the points he struggled on the most, especially when it came to being a father to Yukiko.

Therapy was so much fun.

Before the conversation could get any more awkward, Touya and Iguchi walked back into the living room. Shigaraki took one look at Touya drinking a beer, pointed at him, and told Iguchi, “He is not crashing here, so you’re responsible for getting him home.”

“It’s just one drink and it’s a light beer,” Touya said, smacking Shigaraki’s finger with an unopened bottle. He held it out and Shigaraki took it, but not without a little fight. “I’ll be good, I promise. I won’t wake up your little monster.”

After eyeing him for another moment, Shigaraki set the drink down and grabbed his controller. He did not look at his phone for the rest of the time they were over, and it never buzzed again. By the time they left an hour later, he was ready to crash and forget everything. It hadn’t been a bad night. Honestly, it was good, so he didn’t understand why he was so moody. Yukiko was still asleep. He’d kicked ass in the game. The media was hopefully having a field day and would move on from him. It didn’t matter if his phone was silent. He knew better than to check it too.

Of course, had he checked his phone like he wanted, he would have realized it died forty minutes prior, but Shigaraki was stubborn if nothing else. Had he done that, he might not have been caught off guard when there was a knock at his door at almost eleven.

Chapter 35: and parents think they make the decisions

Notes:

I don't know how I managed to finish this in two days, but here we are. The things I can accomplish when I don't take a nap.

Chapter Text

The date went well. In fact, it went fantastic. Two hours flew by without Uraraka even realizing it until she looked down and saw the check already paid on the table. Monoma had somehow managed to take care of it without her even catching him, which was a feat in itself since she went out of her way to pay for herself all the time. The last time she’d gone out to lunch with just Deku, she’d nearly fought at the table with him over it, but the little cheat had used a tiny burst of his quirk to pull it out of her grip.

The first time Shigaraki texted her, she didn’t hear her phone go off, too busy laughing from a story that Monoma was telling. She’d forgotten how charming he could be. In between mocking Class A and causing general melodramatic chaos, he was intelligent and a great talker. It was hard for the kids in her class to understand why Class B followed behind him when he wasn’t their Rep or Vice Rep, but he was good at what he did. They’d been forced to work together a few times, and even she had found herself following him.

Monoma was good at what he did. As antagonistic as he could be, at the end of the day, he knew that the strength of his quirk depended on how well he worked with others.

Only when he paused to talk with the waiter did she see her phone blinking from a text message alert. Being heroes, it was common to pause to look at phones, so Monoma didn’t even blink. She smiled at the picture of Yukiko sitting down and looking back at the camera with a smile and Shigaraki’s caption – I swear, she’s not walking on purpose – and then sent a simple, So cute! , text back.

But just seeing Yukiko’s smiling face brought up a wave of emotions that Uraraka had shoved down. She was supposed to see her tonight. She’d made plans to see her. Yukiko was turning one in a week – one whole year – and while they hadn’t talked about, Uraraka wouldn’t miss it for anything. She’d secretly requested the day off months ago just in case. So help the villain that tried to interrupt that day. However, she’d canceled on Yukiko tonight. Of course, being so young, she didn’t know or understand, but Uraraka did, and it hurt. She wasn’t there for her.

I miss her.

The text slipped from her, but she meant it. Uraraka did miss Yukiko. Aside from her and Shigaraki not texting each other nearly as much, she hadn’t seen Yukiko as much either. It hadn’t even occurred to her how much time they spent together until now. She’d meant what she told Bakugou on the rooftop: Yukiko was an important part of her life. The idea of just tossing that away from the media was so stupid.

“You okay?” Monoma asked once the waiter left.

“Oh, yeah! I’m fine.” Uraraka tucked the phone into her pocket. “What did you need with the waiter?”

“Well, I realized we had forgotten something very important,” Monoma declared, easing back in his seat.

Uraraka furrowed her brow. “What–?” And then a plate with a slice of delicious-looking chocolate cake was set on the table in between them, and her eyes widened. “Oh, we definitely forgot something important.”

The cake was absolutely delicious and just what she wanted. Monoma really was continuing to impress, although she was hesitant to admit it. Not even Bakugou had been this good of a date. Granted, while he would never cop to such a thing, he was really good at, well, spoiling her. They might not have gone out to eat a lot because he hated being in the public eye, but he’d cook up fancy dinners for her that left her gushing for weeks. He wasn’t the conversationalist that Monoma was, but neither was Shigaraki, and she had fun with him. Everyone had their pros and cons.

She would’ve paid for dessert had Monoma not already done it, admitting, “Ashido told me that you try to pay for your own things, so I’d have to be underhanded about it.”

“What a good friend,” Uraraka huffed.

Monoma grinned. “I’d say so.” She stuck out her tongue. “So dignified.”

“Sorry, I guess that’s not date appropriate behavior,” Uraraka said with a laugh. “It’s been a while.”

“You wanna go for a walk?” Monoma asked. “The night is still young.”

Uraraka snorted. “It’s like after ten.”

Shrugging, Monoma replied, “Well, considering I just got off working swing shift, this is young to me.”

She could understand that. How long had she been working night shift? It had been miserable. Plus, while most people were advised not to walk around late at night, two pro heroes should be able to handle themselves. A little attempted mugging might spice up the date. That was what Bakugou always thought, at least.

Well, she was having a good time, so it couldn’t hurt to hang out a little longer. After agreeing to the walk, she dipped into the restroom real quick. Just a little moment alone to gather herself. For a moment, she felt overwhelmed and wanted to leave, but as soon as she recognized the anxiety, she said yes. She was getting in her own head. Mina had texted her, but she’d ignored it until now. Leaning against the sink, she pulled up the texts on her phone and worked on responding to them.

Yes I’m having a good time and thanks for the shock, went to Mina.

I’m on a date and I’ll tell you about it later, went to Todoroki, who she’d...sort of forgot to tell. Who knew what he would think about her going on a date with Monoma, maybe just surprised, but after Shigaraki had a kid, nothing could be more shocking.

And then there was Shigaraki with a recent text that read, Well, now I know a sure fire way to get Yukiko to sleep: just play first person shooter games.

It was such a cute image, picturing Yukiko asleep on Shigaraki, that Uraraka couldn’t help but smile. A boys’ night with Yukiko. It was way cuter than he would ever realize. Three former villains, and she knew at least two of them would do anything for Yukiko, whether Touya admitted it or not. She wasn’t sure how Iguchi felt, but considering his extreme loyalty to Shigaraki, he would no doubt do whatever he could for her too. Even after all these years, they were a tight unit. Well, some people said blood was thicker than water, but they’d created their own family with the League, so it made sense.

Uraraka texted back, Really? I always found those so stressful. Bad aim.

A few seconds later, Shigaraki responded with, You just gotta practice, and Uraraka’s heart skipped a beat. For a second there, she thought he was going to invite her over to play video games with him, but that was stupid. He didn’t say anything else, and she shook her head at herself. Honestly, she didn’t know what got into her. It was only for a moment, but it was stupid. Yes, they’d played plenty of games together, but she’d canceled on him and Yukiko to go on this date. He wasn’t going to invite her over now.

Who knew? Maybe he’d never invite her over again.

Instead of replying again like she wanted, Uraraka shoved her phone back into her pocket and forced herself to forget about it. She was on a date with Monoma. The last thing she needed to be doing was texting the guy who the media thought she was dating instead of talking to the guy she was on a date with. How ridiculous was that?

She slipped out of the bathroom and met Monoma outside, saying, “Sorry it took me so long!”

“Not a problem.” Monoma gestured ahead of them. “Shall we?”

The walk was nice, lovely, pleasant. She couldn’t have asked for something better. In fact, this whole night had gone much better than she could’ve ever anticipated. Judging by the fact that Monoma hadn’t run directly after dinner and they were there for so long, he was enjoying himself too. He didn’t push himself onto her – didn’t try to grab her hand, didn’t brush up against her, didn’t push her into doing something she might’ve been uncomfortable with – but he was close and easygoing. Anyone that saw them would’ve recognized it as a more than friendly dinner, which was exactly what they’d wanted.

It did make her feel a little bad, but by the time they were walking through a park and she was talking about a really embarrassing incident at her agency’s gym, she’d forgotten the original point of the date. It wasn’t just to throw the media off her trail or get them to think she and Shigaraki weren’t dating. She was genuinely having a good time hanging out with Monoma. It was fun. She hadn’t done anything like this in ages. All she did was hang out with the few people she was close to and never ventured out of her circle anymore. She hadn’t been like that before. She used to make friends all the time.

This time, when her phone buzzed again, it was loud enough for Monoma to hear it, and he quirked an eyebrow when she sighed. “You’re a popular girl.”

“Well, you haven’t been on a date for as long as I have…” Uraraka shook her head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Monoma told her, “especially when you don’t have to.” It still made her feel bad. He’d looked at his phone only once tonight, something work-related since he’d changed shifts to get tonight off. “I don’t mind. You’ve got friends looking after you. That’s a good thing. Trust me; Kendou is just waiting to blow up my phone. She’s been freaking out ever since I mentioned tonight.”

Uraraka blushed. “Oh, well, um– Tell her I said hi?”

Monoma laughed. “Will do.”

Feeling marginally less guilty, Uraraka checked her phone but was surprised to find a text from Kaminari asking how her date was going. How did he know? Mina or Shigaraki? She supposed it didn’t really matter...unless he was hanging out with Shigaraki tonight. She had figured that Touya and Iguchi were going over to his place when he mentioned the guys coming over, but that could easily include Kaminari since he was technically Shigaraki’s longest friendship.

“Everybody is so nosy,” Uraraka mumbled as she sent a few short texts.

Going good
It’s actually someone we went to UA with
Monoma lol
But he’s good

Luckily, Monoma was kind enough not to peer at her phone as she texted back. She didn’t want to give too much away, although she doubted Shigaraki even cared if Kaminari was with him. Not that his opinion would matter either, but still, she didn’t want to aggravate him further. It might annoy him even if he didn’t care since she’d gone back on her word. Yukiko was the most important thing in the world to him, and he would do everything to protect her, including from someone who would start flaking on her.

That wasn’t the case though. It wouldn’t happen. Uraraka wouldn’t just drop Yukiko from her life.

“I know it’s been a while, but geez,” Uraraka muttered.

“Why haven’t you dated for so long?” Monoma asked curiously. “I know we promised not to talk about exes, but it’s hard not to wonder. You’re…”

Uraraka painted a smile on her face. “Difficult?”

“I was going to say beautiful and kind, but we can go with that if you’d prefer it.”

“You really do know what to say, huh?” Uraraka sighed, the smile turning more genuine until it faded. She looked down at her feet as they walked down the dimly lit path. “I don’t know. I guess it just never felt like the right time, and there was no one I was interested in.”

“No one?” Monoma asked with the tilt of his head.

Blowing a raspberry, Uraraka shot back dryly, “No, Katsuki didn’t ruin men for me. I just...didn’t really care. Maybe I caught someone’s interest, but I never noticed.”

“Ah, Ashido did say you were somewhat oblivious to such things,” Monoma pointed out.

“She’s not wrong,” Uraraka said, “but that wasn’t it entirely. I don’t know. It didn’t seem important. I had my job and that was that.” She rolled her eyes. “The media always acted like I was riding on Katsuki’s coattails – or even Deku’s or Todoroki’s. Because I was dating him or friends with them, I was trying to catch their limelight since they were in the Top Ten. I just… I just wanted to be recognized for my own abilities, not as a girlfriend or friend.”

“I can understand that,” Monoma said. “I’ll never be in the Top Ten. I made my peace with that in UA. And I’ll never be seen for my own abilities – because they aren’t my own.”

He held out a hand, patient and inviting. With only a hint of hesitation, she brushed her fingers against his palm. Besides shaking his hand, it was the only physical contact they’d had between them so far, and it was almost electric. He reached down to pick up a stick. It glowed pink and then he let go so the two of them could watch it float in the air. It was strange, watching her quirk in use without having used it herself, but she didn’t mind. She’d heard some people get mad at him for copying their quirk, but she didn’t see a problem with it. That was his quirk.

Monoma poked the stick to spin it around in the air. “I’ll always be in someone else’s shadow. It used to bother me. I hated the idea of being sneaky in order to copy people’s quirks, so I’d put on this friendly demeanor. If they trusted me, I wouldn’t be taking it.” He pressed his fingers together and said, “Release,” allowing the stick to drop at their feet. Of course he knew how to operate her quirk. He had to be aware of other people’s quirks in order to use them properly. “Villains are a different story, and they really don’t like their quirks being used against them.”

“You know, considering your personality in high school, I never pegged you for an underground hero,” Uraraka mused thoughtfully. “Plus, your hero costume back then was so flashy.”

“Ah, it was, wasn’t it?” Monoma rubbed the back of his neck almost bashfully. “I thought I had to be so loud in order to be heard or seen. Took me a while to figure out that my actions were so much louder. You can imagine my utter humiliation when I had to ask Aizawa about underground hero work and that was only due to Shinsou prodding me.”

Uraraka smiled softly. “I think you’ve done a good job.”

“As have you,” Monoma said, “regardless of what the media has to say.”

It was the closest they got to talking about the articles the entire night. Despite herself, Uraraka paused, her shoes scuffing the concrete. Somehow, despite how well the night had gone, she knew that it was impossible to avoid them forever. Monoma had hated Bakugou even after graduation, so she could only imagine his feelings on Shigaraki. She was still shocked that he had agreed to see her after those pictures came out. He might’ve matured since UA, but something like that would be hard for anyone to get over, and he held grudges harder than most.

“So you saw the articles,” Uraraka sighed.

“They’re hard to miss,” Monoma admitted.

Uraraka bit her lip. “They’re not–”

“I know. They’re bullshit. The media twists whatever they can to fit a narrative that will sell.” Monoma peered at her sideways. “But there’s some truth to them, isn’t there?”

Her mouth opened – and then it shut. She didn’t know what to say. Even worse, she didn’t know what she could say that wouldn’t make Monoma disinterested. Oh, this was why dating sucked. You had to watch your behavior and words to make sure you didn’t do anything out of line that would turn them away from you. Unfortunately for Uraraka, she had a bunch of pictures and articles about her hanging out with a former villain floating around the internet. She couldn’t avoid that no matter what.

Well, if she couldn’t avoid it, then she was going to be entirely upfront about it.

“Yeah, there is,” Uraraka stated. “I saw Shigaraki on the streets with a kid and I stepped in to help out. Turns out he needed a little more than just one night of help, and I’m not heartless enough to say no to a baby whose mother abandoned her.” She threw a hand out. “Somewhere along the line, I guess we became friends, but it’s not just me, and that’s what makes this thing so stupid. All Might taught him how to drive and babysat for him. Deku let him stay at his apartment when he needed to move and was his DD, which, who knows what that was like. Even Todoroki helped him move!”

“But they haven’t been caught around him,” Monoma pointed out.

Uraraka jammed her hands into her pockets. “It wouldn’t matter if they did. No one is gonna accuse them of dating him. The media loves to speculate about Todoroki’s and Deku’s love lives, but there’s never been a scandal about them. They’re so popular. I’m still known as Ground Zero’s scorned ex-girlfriend.”

“A shame, when I just view him as Uravity’s shitty ex,” Monoma sighed. She snorted. “It is weird. You have to admit that. No matter what way you look at it, when I saw the pictures of you two…”

“Then why did you agree to come tonight?” Uraraka demanded, feeling somewhat edgy.

“Because I meant what I told Ashido,” Momona told her. “I wouldn’t mind reconnecting with you – and that’s not counting my crush on you at UA.” She pulled back and opened her mouth, caught off guard, but nothing came out. How was she even supposed to respond to that? He shook his head at himself. “I was an idiot. I didn’t even realize it until near the end of our last year and by then I figured it was too late. I’d made a huge fool out of myself for three years regarding your class. But I didn’t agree to this date to rekindle that. I just wanted to...hang out without all the pretenses surrounding us. I didn’t expect much of it.”

Something dropped into the pit of Uraraka’s stomach. She didn’t know what, but it wasn’t anything good. “Why not?”

“Because, whether you realize it or not, those pictures made it quite obvious that you aren’t in the mood for dating around right now,” Monoma said.

Uraraka’s face fell. “Oh.”

“I can’t understand it – I don’t – but I lived too many years being told what to do because other people thought I was incapable of being something more,” Monoma continued. “Do I think it’s a good idea? No. Would I suggest hanging out with him further? Definitely not. Did I have a good time tonight? Yes, incredibly so.” He smiled, looked down, and took a deep breath. “But I’ve learned to read people early on. It’s a matter of survival with me. I’d like to think you had fun tonight.”

“I did,” Uraraka insisted. “I had a lot of fun!”

“Good, I’m glad. I did too.” Monoma twisted his head to look at her. “But this still isn’t where you want to be, is it? I’m not who you want to be with right now?”

“I–” Uraraka couldn’t argue with him because he was right. As much fun as she’d had, as good a night as this had been, as much as she’d forgotten about things, the moment there was a pause, all she could think about was how she wanted to be elsewhere right now. Maybe it didn’t mean much to Shigaraki, but she’d promised to be there for Yukiko. She had sworn in the beginning, nine months ago, that she wouldn’t just bounce out of Yukiko’s life once it became inconvenient. She meant more than that.

He meant more than that.

Uraraka clenched her hands into fists. “You must think I’m crazy.”

“A bit,” Monoma admitted, “but you did also date Bakugou.” She laughed weakly. “I’m glad you came out. I know you were hesitant. And it’s okay if it doesn’t lead to more dates, but…” He glanced around, taking note of everything around them, and then held out a hand. “I wouldn’t be opposed to hanging out more. Ashido is fun, but she can be a little much.”

Taking his hand and shaking it, Uraraka sighed. “You’re really making this difficult.”

Monoma winked. “Was that my intention? We may never know.”

“Still an asshole,” Uraraka chuckled. She let go of his hand. “I do want to hang out again. This was a lot of fun. I really did need to get out.”

“I did too,” Monoma said. “All work and no play makes a very dull Neito.”

“I can’t imagine you ever being dull,” Uraraka replied honestly.

It was a good date – a great one, if she was being honest – but Monoma was right. It wasn’t where she wanted to be right now. When she had made plans to see Yukiko tonight, it hadn’t been just a one-off thing. She’d been excited and started to make plans for what they could do. Little as she was, she couldn’t go to the movies or other things, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t experience the world. Uraraka would just have to help her.

And it wasn’t just Yukiko. She had figured Shigaraki might leave to make things less awkward, but… She wanted to see him too. She missed talking with him throughout the week, teasing him, bullshitting with him. It was absolutely absurd, and it made no sense when she had been so wary to approach him on the street all those months ago, but it was a life she had grown to enjoy.

After saying goodbye and parting way, Uraraka rushed to her car. They’d started to walk back anyways, so she wasn’t far, but the time on her phone still made her wary. 10:30 was late, but it wasn’t too bad. Yukiko had fallen asleep about an hour prior according to Shigaraki’s last text, but she had a habit of waking up once about two hours later. She’d never liked binkies, so he hadn’t had to worry about that, and she was sleeping better now that she was in her own room, but she was still adjusting. Maybe she could swing by and get her back to sleep. That wasn’t weird, right? She wasn’t being weird.

Oh, fucking hell, she was being weird.

Hey! I know I said I could come over tomorrow but I just really missed her and if she’s awake I thought I could swing by since I’m close.
And wow that was a lot of rambling. Shit.
If the guys are still over or you’re tired, I can just go home.
Ah more rambling

Well, if those weren’t the four most embarrassing text messages of her life (and she’d drunk texted Bakugou after they had broken up), she didn’t know what was. Uraraka drove in uncomfortable silence, forgetting about turning on her radio until she was nearly there. When she parked, she picked up her phone, but there was no response. Shit. Maybe he was already asleep. No, that was absurd. She couldn’t picture him going to bed this early, not with people over. Maybe they were still gaming, so he hadn’t looked at his phone. She could join them. That would be fun.

This was stupid. She was stupid.

(And this was where she wanted to be. Go figure.)

Figuring that the worse he could do was say he was tired and shoo her away, Uraraka dragged herself out of the car and into the apartment complex. She didn’t think Shigaraki would be mad about her showing up, but then again, maybe he was if he wasn’t answering his texts. Maybe he thought her waffling was a bad sign. She should’ve thought of that in advance. But he wasn’t answering his phone so she couldn’t check. That left some...uncomfortable measures. She didn’t want to push herself into his life if he didn’t want her there now.

Pulling out her phone for the last time, Uraraka took a deep breath and texted Touya: So awkward question but do you think Shigaraki is mad at me?

Thank everything that Touya responded immediately: pffft no

Do you think he’d be mad if I came over tonight?

He’d be delighted

Uraraka frowned. Delighted is not a word I’d use with him.

Let me rephrase it then: he wants you to come over
Don’t think too hard about this, Uravity

Oh. Well. That was a lot more upfront than she expected, but then again, she probably should have considering it was Touya she was texting. It was hard to say, but she had a feeling he was no longer at the apartment, which likely meant that everyone had left. Taking a deep breath, she got in the elevator and pushed the button for his floor. She kept glancing at her phone, but there was no response from him. This could either end fine or poorly. The three glasses of wine in her system over the course of four hours had nothing to do with it or her knocking on his door.

She could always run. Pretend to be a prankster. That wouldn’t chase her for the rest of her life.

And then the door opened and Shigaraki was standing in front of her and all Uraraka could do was smile, wave, and say, “Surprise!” He gave her a weird look, and she dropped her hand and shoulders. “Yeah, that was stupid.”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. “I thought you were on a date.”

“Yeah, it ended.” Uraraka bit her lip for the tenth time tonight. “I texted you?”

“I–” Shigaraki pulled out his phone. “It’s fucking dead.”

“Oh. So you didn’t…”

“No.”

Uraraka did her best not to implode on the spot. “I can–”

“Just fucking come in,” Shigaraki huffed, stepping aside. “You’re already here.”

He wants you to come over, rang in her head, strangely in Touya’s voice even though it had been over text.

Trying her best not to act like it was a big deal, Uraraka stepped into his apartment, and he shut the door behind her. There were all the telltale signs of a guys’ night in his living room. The chair and a beanbag pulled up to frame the television, not to mention empty bottles and bags of junk food on the coffee table. He looked like he was in the middle of cleaning up when she came over. Maybe she could help him… No, that was dumb. She didn’t even really know what she was doing here.

“Have fun?” Uraraka asked.

“Yeah, it was okay,” Shigaraki mumbled, which meant that it was more than okay. She smiled a little. It was getting easier to read him. However, his next question threw her right off track again. “Why did you come over?”

“Oh, um, I just…” Uraraka thought it over. After her conversation with Monoma, she’d felt so sure of herself, but now that she was face-to-face with Shigaraki, she didn’t know. Well, if she had been honest then, she could be honest now. “I wanted to come over.”

Shigaraki stared at her blankly. “After your date.”

“Yeah, I–” Uraraka twisted her lips. “I told you that I would come over tonight and then I canceled last minute. And then you sent that picture of Yukiko and it made me think about how much I wanted to be here and–”

“I didn’t send that picture to guilt-trip you.”

“I know, but–”

“So if it’s just that, you can leave–”

“Would you stop?” Uraraka burst. Instead of rearing back like most people, Shigaraki narrowed his eyes, and she let out another sigh. Did he have to be so difficult? Her shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over. I just...really wanted to see Yukiko and felt bad for pushing her aside like that. It was totally unfair of me. I promised I wouldn’t do that. I let both you and her down.”

Rubbing his forehead, Shigaraki muttered, “You heroes take everything so seriously.”

“I am serious about being in her life,” Uraraka said without thinking.

Shigaraki peered at her from underneath his hand. “Are you?”

Uraraka glowered. “Yes, of course–”

And, as fate would have it, soft cries from Yukiko’s room could be heard. Both Shigaraki and Uraraka froze, a mirror image of shame flashing across their faces. Had they been too loud? Had their arguing woken her up? Shigaraki moved first, but then he stopped when he saw the look in Uraraka’s eyes.

Let me do it.

After a moment, Shigaraki held up his hands and turned away, conceding to her. Uraraka slipped into Yukiko’s bedroom as quietly as possible, hoping it was a fluke, but then she heard Yukiko crying, “Dada, Dada,” and her heart broke. Yukiko was so little and yet she knew what she wanted.

“Hey, baby, it’s me,” Uraraka whispered, sliding her hands underneath a wiggling Yukiko and lifting her to rest against her chest.

Yukiko immediately buried her face into Uraraka’s shoulder and clung to her shirt. “ Ura .”

Completely unbidden and out of nowhere, tears sprung to Uraraka’s eyes. “Yeah, it’s me. I’m sorry that I’m so late.” And she really was. She couldn’t possibly explain how much it hurt being away from her so much. She held Yukiko close, resting her head against hers, and rubbed her back soothingly until she stopped crying. She was still moving though, proving she was awake, so Uraraka wandered out into the living room. “She was calling for you. Maybe she had a nightmare.”

“She seems okay now,” Shigaraki said as he stared at Yukiko.

“Does she stay up long when she wakes up like this?” Uraraka asked.

Shigaraki shrugged. “It varies.”

Well, it didn’t matter. She hadn’t planned on staying over for long. Besides, her presence might keep Yukiko up longer. Her eyes were heavy, but they were open as Uraraka swayed side-to-side. She was calm, at least, her cheek pressed against Uraraka’s shoulder. Shigaraki kept his eyes on Yukiko, the two of them staring each other down in silence as a movie played on the TV in the background, and leaned against the counter in his kitchen.

Uraraka gnawed on her bottom lip. “Sorry.”

“S’not your fault,” Shigaraki sighed. “She wakes up once or twice a night anyway.”

“I know, but I– I feel like I intruded. I came over completely uninvited.”

“Well, you’re here, and it’s done now.” Shigaraki waved a hand at her. “Besides, it doesn’t look like Yukiko is gonna let go of you any time soon.” Yukiko did indeed have a tight grip on her shirt. If she were to hand her over to him, Uraraka would have to literally pry her fingers off. He cleared his throat. “So, everything go according to plan?”

Uraraka rubbed a hand over the back of Yukiko’s head. “Yeah, Monoma said he spotted some people taking pictures, so it’ll probably be blasted everywhere tomorrow.” She rolled her eyes. “I can’t wait to see how the media spins it. They’ll probably accuse me of cheating on you.”

“Oh, so I get to be the victim now?” Shigaraki rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. “Fantastic.”

“I’ll break your heart,” Uraraka said solemnly.

Shigaraki snorted. “Wasn’t aware I had one.”

Uraraka gestured to Yukiko with her chin. “Pretty sure you do.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Shigaraki tapped his bicep. “Did it go well?”

“Oh, um…”

Uraraka thought back to the date. Yes, it had gone well. She’d had a good time. It had been fun. She could have said all those things and they would be true, but for some reason, the words didn’t feel right, and she didn’t know why. By all standards, the date had gone perfectly. There had been some awkward moments, as there was bound to be, especially with her involved, but she’d laughed and smiled and chatted. Monoma ticked all the boxes of who she should want to date.

So why was she hesitating?

(Why was she here instead of gushing to Mina on the phone at home?)

“Yeah, it was good,” Uraraka settled on saying.

Shigaraki raised an eyebrow. “Good? It was...good? Don’t sound so enthusiastic. You just might break this guy’s heart.”

“I mean–” Uraraka huffed. “I had a good time. It was nice catching up with him. I don’t know if Kaminari told you, but we went to UA together.”

“Dating another hero would help your image,” Shigaraki pointed out.

“I guess,” Uraraka grumbled.

There was a brief pause and then Shigaraki asked, “Gonna go on another date?” His voice was almost...careful, like he was trying to approach the matter delicately. It didn’t seem like something he would normally do. He usually just asked or said stuff bluntly and waited for a response, but then again, he had been a good strategist when given the time to think.

“I don’t know,” Uraraka admitted. “I did have fun. It was a good time. I wouldn’t mind hanging out again. I just…”

While she spoke, Shigaraki kept a painfully neutral expression on his face, which frustrated her for some reason. Maybe because it was obvious that he didn’t really care. He was only asking to be...polite, in his own strange way. It was what normal people did, and he was trying so very hard to live his life like everyone else.

But he wasn’t like everyone else, and that was the problem. He shouldn’t have to force himself to live like other people. He could still live a civilian, legal life, just in the best way that suited him.

“Well, thanks for letting me see her,” Uraraka said, unable to come up with anything else to say. “I mean, you didn’t let me see her since she was asleep and then she woke up, but you let me come in even though it’s late.” He shook his head. For some reason, his lack of a verbal response stung, but she didn’t let it show. It was late. He was probably tired, especially after hanging out with the guys all night. She was keeping him up and had potentially woken Yukiko up with their arguing. “I don’t have to come over tomorrow if you don’t want me to. It’s fine.”

“It’s whatever you wanna do,” Shigaraki dismissed.

Uraraka frowned. “It’s your house, your kid, your life. If you don’t want me to come over, then just say so.”

Maybe Touya was wrong. Maybe he was just making shit up to irritate Shigaraki. It would’ve been easy to use her to do so. She...didn’t think he would do that, especially with Yukiko involved, but it was hard to say. She might’ve been around him multiple times, not including the times when he was a villain or vigilante, but she didn’t know him. She did know that he liked to fuck with Shigaraki, so it was possible...maybe…

“You just went on a date to clear me from your image,” Shigaraki said flatly. “Plus, I don’t think any guy you date is gonna want you hanging around me.”

Uraraka stiffened. “Any guy I date is not gonna get a say in who I spend my time with or who I want in my life – and if they think they do, they can shove right off.” No, Monoma probably wouldn’t like it nor would he understand. He had even admitted that he still held grudges, and it was very easy to hold one against Shigaraki. “No one gets to tell me what to do – not someone I’m dating, not the media, no one.” She paused. “Well, okay, maybe my boss since that’s her job, but no one else.”

“The law?” Shigaraki suggested.

“Now you’re being the ridiculous one,” Uraraka said.

“My parole officer tells me what to do all the time, and she’s kind of like the law.”

“Semantics.” Uraraka walked over to him. She had to hand Yukiko back to him anyway, but she didn’t want to let go. She didn’t want to leave either, not until this was settled. It was like they were back at square one, trying to figure out how to best handle the media attention. Here they were, discussing things in his kitchen, except this time, it felt much more like an argument. Why was he so difficult? “I’m not gonna date someone who bosses me around.”

“And Bakugou didn’t? I find that hard to believe.”

Uraraka pressed her lips together and admitted, “He did, sometimes, but only because he thought he was right. He thought it was for the best. He genuinely never meant any harm by it.”

Shigaraki looked like he was going to argue, but then he relaxed his arms and turned away from her. “Yeah, I guess when he told me to quit hanging around you, he thought it was for your own good. He was still a dick about it.” He lifted one hand to rub his face tiredly. “And...he wasn’t wrong either. It has affected you negatively. Your rank has dropped – I looked it up – and people have been talking shit and–”

“And it doesn’t matter,” Uraraka cut in. “I talked with my boss about it. Even if my rank does drop, my pay won’t. She’s gonna cover the difference.”

“How benevolent,” Shigaraki replied dryly.

It was kind of Ryukyu to do that when she was under no obligation, but Uraraka wasn’t going to argue with him over that. The fact that her boss had to step in was a sign that hero society still hadn’t changed, even if opinions about ranks and pay had started to shift in the past few years. The League had had a direct hand in that. After Endeavor stepped down from the number one position, it became even more apparent that there was a problem that could no longer be ignored. However, it was hard to change a system that had been going on for decades. It took time.

“People are gonna talk no matter what I do. My popularity will go up and down. No matter my image, I can still do my job.” Uraraka swayed back and forth. Yukiko’s eyes were starting to droop again, which forced Uraraka to calm down even if she had been heated a second ago. Shigaraki caught on as well, his eyes dropping to Yukiko and then back to Uraraka’s face. “I’m not gonna let the public dictate my life. I already give so much of myself to them with my job. I shouldn’t have to live my life according to how strangers want.”

“It’s not that easy, and you know it,” Shigaraki pointed out. “Heroes belong to the public, do they not?”

“I can afford to be a little selfish, don’t you think?” Uraraka shot back.

Shigaraki reached out to brush his fingers through Yukiko’s hair. “And that’s what this is? You being selfish?”

“Feels like it sometimes,” Uraraka admitted. “Like we shouldn’t be here or we cheated the system or something.”

A bark of laughter slipped from Shigaraki. “I did that. Pretty sure the system follows you.”

“I came from practically nothing,” Uraraka pointed out. “My family was okay, but I had to scrounge for money to attend UA and apply for so many scholarships. There were nights when I just didn’t eat because I couldn’t afford food and training the next day was so brutal that I’d almost pass out.” She grimaced at the memory. Aizawa had called her out on it once, and she’d tried to play it off, but he had made a good point that a hero couldn’t defend or fight if they were unconscious from hunger. “I wanted to get here, but to be honest, there were a lot of times when I thought it was impossible – that I’d never amount to much or be enough – so there are moments when it feels like this isn’t real.”

Shigaraki sank against the counter. “It feels like that most of the time. I should be in prison or dead.”

Well, that was honest, if not morbid. Uraraka let out a breath and gazed down at Shigaraki. “But you aren’t.”

“But I’m not,” Shigaraki agreed, “and I have this little monster, Touya still being a grade-A jackass, a lovely job, and a bunch of heroes ready to help out at a second’s notice. It’s a wonderful fucking life.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing rather nervously. “Maybe Bakugou was right, little prick that he is. You had a good time on that date. The media will get what they want. You shouldn’t let that go to waste for no reason.”

He wasn’t saying the words directly, but she got the hint. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to come over tomorrow; he didn’t think she should. Who had she been kidding? One date wasn’t going to solve this. It wasn’t like the media could switch over to thinking about her dating other people and then she could go back to hanging out with Shigaraki and Yukiko like before. That defeated the whole purpose. Besides, she had had fun. Why not give Monoma a chance? He would probably accept a second date if she asked. All she really had to do was...not come over here and stop talking to him, which would be easy if they didn’t text.

“Okay,” Uraraka murmured. Yukiko was a baby. She would forget her in time. By this time next year, Uraraka would barely be a memory. She’d helped Shigaraki in the first rocky year, but he didn’t need her in the next. It wasn’t like she was Yukiko’s mom or anything. She was just...a hero passing by and offering help.

Shigaraki nodded. “Okay.” He unfolded his arms and held out his hands. “I’ll put her back to bed.”

Uraraka hesitated, but then slowly pulled Yukiko away from her chest, an ache panging in her heart. Ridiculous. She shouldn’t have gotten so emotional or attached. It wasn’t like Shigaraki had been obligated to allow her to stay in Yukiko’s life. This probably would’ve happened eventually. He would’ve maybe finally allowed himself to open up to someone and dated them. They would’ve taken Uraraka’s place in Yukiko’s life. It was hard to picture with the way Shigaraki was, but it had been impossible to picture him as a father all those months ago too.

However, the moment Shigaraki’s fingers brushed Yukiko’s side, she gripped Uraraka’s shirt tighter, her little knuckles turning white, and cried out, “No!”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow and grunted, “C’mon, kid, don’t be an ass.”

“No! No!” Yukiko bawled, wiggling her body so much that Uraraka almost dropped her. She had to tighten her grip on Yukiko and practically shove her into Shigaraki’s chest while he pulled her fingers off Uraraka’s shirt. It was way more painful than Uraraka anticipated, especially since Yukiko cried even louder, and her stomach twisted. This wasn’t how she wanted things to end. She’d never get to sleep tonight.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Uraraka babbled. “Just go to your daddy. It’ll be okay.” She wouldn’t know that Uraraka wouldn’t be in her life as much anymore. It was fine. She’d get over it in time. A little white lie wouldn’t hurt. “I’ll… I’ll see you soon. I gotta go, and you gotta go back to bed. It’s okay. I’m sorry.”

“Shit, fuck,” Shigaraki muttered as he pried the last of Yukiko’s fingers off her shirt and set Uraraka free. “I didn’t– Ugh, you’re being ridiculous. I don’t know why you keep acting like this with me. It’s fine. You’re fine–”

But Yukiko turned away from Shigaraki and reached out to Uraraka with a chubby hand, tears streaming down her face, and wailed, “Mama!” and Uraraka’s world spun on its axis.

The two of them froze, Uraraka gawking at Yukiko while Shigaraki stared at her. The crying rang loudly in her head, but it was Yukiko’s repeated use of the word Mama that almost stopped her breathing. Everything just stopped. She couldn’t move, couldn’t blink, couldn’t say a word. She’d been called a lot of things in her life before, some good and some bad, but never that.

Shigaraki recovered first, his face flushing. “Fuck, I don’t– I don’t know where she got that from. It’s not like I say it around her ever. I’m–” He didn’t recover that well.

“It’s… It’s okay,” Uraraka managed weakly. “She probably hears it at daycare and sees kids with their mothers. Babies are...a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for.” Tears burned her eyes, but she wiped them away before they could fall. It was too late to hide them from him. Thankfully, he was too humiliated to bring them up and avoided eye contact with her as he tried to calm Yukiko down. “I just...sorta...filled that role for her in her mind, I guess, so she thought…”

“I don’t call you that to her,” Shigaraki blurted.

Uraraka waved her hands in front of herself. “I know, I know! It was– It was a mistake. She’s a baby. She–”

“Mama! Mama!”

“I have to–” Uraraka turned on her heels, but she only made it two steps towards the door before she stopped. Clenching her hands into fists at her side, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

This was stupid. She was being stupid. She’d come here for a reason: because she wanted to be here. And, if Touya was telling the truth, Shigaraki had let her in for a reason: because he wanted her to be here. So, here they were, being two complete idiots while a baby cried. Who were they trying to please here? Themselves or the public who they both swore didn’t control their lives? Who did she want to be happier: the media, her fans, the public or herself? Because right now, she wasn’t happy at all. She had been tonight, yes, but that was only because she thought it would solve things and she could go right back to…

Oh, damn it all. She really was a fool.

Uraraka spun back around and stomped over to them. Without saying a word, she held out her hands and gave Shigaraki a determined look. He didn’t say anything either, but he eyed her with a hard glimmer in his narrowed eyes before finally handing Yukiko over to her. Yukiko buried her face in Uraraka’s neck, still crying, but she immediately stopped fighting. Uraraka walked over to the couch and sat down, rocking gently and murmuring under her breath until Yukiko finally stopped weeping.

Shigaraki edgily meandered over to them. “That weak, huh?”

“Pathetic, truly,” Uraraka admitted. “We both are.”

He took a deep breath and made a face that suggested he wasn’t happy with it, but once again, he didn’t argue. Instead, he asked, “So what now? More sneaking around like we’re a couple of teenagers trying to hide shit from our parents?”

“No,” Uraraka said simply.

Shigaraki rested a hand against the back of the couch and leaned against it. “No?”

Uraraka shook her head. “No. I don’t care. I didn’t do anything wrong and, while you might have in the past, you didn’t now. You’re just trying to raise your child and live your life.” She sank back against the couch, her head next to his hand, and tilted her head back to look up at him. “These last few weeks have been utter shit, but I don’t want to live by someone else’s rules.”

“Neither do I,” Shigaraki admitted. “That doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences.”

“I know,” Uraraka sighed, “but I’ll deal with them as they come. We weren’t doing anything except making ourselves miserable.” Whatever that meant. She wasn’t going to think about why not being in Shigaraki’s life had made her so damn moody, at least not right now when it was late and she was worn thin. He didn’t look much up to contemplating about it either. “I lived my life trying to make the media like me before. It sucked. I’m not doing it again.”

Considering that he’d basically never been liked by the media or the public, that wasn’t something Shigaraki had to worry about. His concern probably had more to do with being thrust into the public eye when he’d managed to have a private life before. She watched him, a thoughtful look on his face as he considered her words. He could still say no. He could still think that cutting off contact and being more distant with each other was for the best. And if he did, she would stay until Yukiko fell back asleep and then she would leave.

She wasn’t going to force herself into his life if he didn’t–

“So we just go back to the way things used to be?” Shigaraki asked.

“Yup.”

“Even if there’s a chance someone will take pictures and splash them everywhere?”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Well, I try to be as discreet as possible. I’m not gonna be wearing a sign.”

Shigaraki thought it over for another second and then said, “Scoot over. You’re sitting in the middle.”

Caught off guard, Uraraka blinked but then did as she was asked. She wiggled over to the right side of the couch so that he could sit down on the left. Picking up the controller, Shigaraki leaned back and switched the channel to one of the many streaming services offered. Just like that, the air changed. He was a lot more relaxed as he sat beside her, seemingly unbothered by her presence. Yukiko was calm again, playing with a strand of her hair.

“So...we good?” Uraraka asked.

“Yeah, we’re good.” Shigaraki raised a hand to scratch his neck and then stopped himself. “She’s not gonna go to sleep any time soon now, so I’m gonna start that a show that just came out. If we’re lucky, she’ll be out in two episodes. I hope you don’t have work early in the morning.”

“I don’t.” Even if she did, Uraraka would’ve stayed until Yukiko fell back asleep. She didn’t think she could handle that crying for her ever again. “Is it that new fantasy series?”

“Yup.”

Uraraka sat upright. “Oh, I wanted to watch that!”

“Good, because I don’t take suggestions.”

Shaking her head, Uraraka leaned back again, kicking off her shoes and propping her feet on the table so that she could sink a little further, allowing Yukiko to lay on her more. Shigaraki set the controller aside and assumed the same position, although he had his arms crossed again. She nudged his leg, and he glanced at her before forcing himself into a more relaxed position. Better.

Fifteen minutes into the first episode, Uraraka’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She’d completely forgotten about it. With Shigaraki so engrossed in a scene describing the lore of the show, she pulled her phone out and glanced at the screen at her side. At the sight of Touya’s name, she raised an eyebrow but clicked on the message to read it.

Well the bastard isn’t answering his phone so he’s either ignoring me or forgot to charge it
Either way I hope you two made up
Because he was fucking annoying, all mopey and shit
Remember to be safe and don’t do anything I would do

Thank everything Shigaraki was paying attention to the television so he didn’t see her blush. She clicked out of the text and looked down at Yukiko, who was still awake as ever. That was fine. Uraraka didn’t mind holding her until she fell back asleep. This was exactly where she wanted to be.

Chapter 36: Congrats! You've lived a whole ass year!

Notes:

I just love the cracky side of this fic.

Chapter Text

Shigaraki was so caught up in all that media bullshit that he forgot about the most important day of the year: Yukiko’s first birthday.

And then Fuyumi hit him with a simple question: “So what are you doing for Yukiko’s birthday?”

He was sitting on Touya’s couch, eating onigiri in between trying to beat Touya at Tekken and fend Yukiko away from his controller when it hit him like a punch to the solar plexus, and froze on the spot

Ever the bastard, Touya took the opportunity to pull off a fatal combo blow and win the match. “Fuck yeah!” he cheered, throwing his controller on the couch and bending down to pick up Yukiko. He swung her high in the air, and she squealed in delight. Shigaraki painfully swallowed the last bite of onigiri and shot her a glare, but she didn’t seem to notice, much too excited over joining Touya in rubbing his victory in. “Fucking finally. Suck my dick.”

“Touya!” Fuyumi scolded. “Watch your mouth!”

After dropping Yukiko back to her feet, Touya stood upright, placing his hands on his lower back and stretching it out. “What? She’s not even one. It’s fine.”

Yukiko tried to take a step on her own, fell on her ass, and giggled, “Dick!”

While Fuyumi gasped and Touya cackled, Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned over to take a deep breath. HIs kid swearing was the least of his problems. Besides, it wasn’t like that was the worst thing she said. He didn’t know how many times the daycare employees told him that she said “shit” all the time. He didn’t know what they wanted him to do. It was impossible for a baby to understand why she couldn’t say words when she was just learning to talk.

Using his pants leg to pull herself up, Yukiko tried to climb into his lap. “Dada! Dick!”

Touya smirked. “That’s absolutely right, Yukiko.”

“Asshole,” Shigaraki scoffed. Having been climbed on repeatedly for hours on end, he wasn’t exactly in the mood to have it done now. Guilty as it made him feel, even he needed his space, and sometimes she was clingy at what felt like the worst times. She only put up a minimal amount of complaints when he removed her from him and stood up to walk away from the couch.

Fuyumi gave him an apologetic look. “You, uh, haven’t thought about it, have you?”

“She’s one,” Shigaraki said flatly. “She’s not gonna remember her first birthday or be upset if she doesn’t have a party. She wouldn’t even know what was going on.”

The whole idea sounded stupid. Yukiko wouldn’t want a party. She didn’t even know what a party was, so if he didn’t throw one for her, she’d never know the difference. It was a waste of time. All he could think about was that it was some sort of photo opportunity and for parents to show off. He’d most likely had a birthday party. He could’ve found out if he tried, maybe search for old photographs of his family logged as evidence. What happened to the photo albums of people who were killed and had no one to pass them onto? Were they destroyed?

Well, that’s not depressing at all while thinking about your daughter’s first birthday.

Huffing out a breath, Shigaraki finished, “I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“No, it’s totally important!” Fuyumi insisted. “It’s her first birthday! She’ll never get another one!”

“Yeah, even we had first birthdays,” Touya added from the couch as he played a solo game. “Don’t be such a shithole about it.”

“She’s one!” Shigaraki shot back. “She isn’t gonna give a shit!”

“It’s a right of passage,” Touya drawled.

“An important milestone in hers and your lives,” Fuyumi added.

Oh fuck, they were teaming up against him. While Shigaraki knew that they were twins, he mostly saw them bickering with each other. Sure, there was an ebb and flow to it, almost like it was playful in the end, but he didn’t seem them outright agree often. Touya liked to push buttons too much, and Fuyumi was easy to rile up. He was good and listened in the end (for the most part), but he usually didn’t jump on board with her right away.

Seeing them like this now made Shigaraki realize why it was a good thing they didn’t. They were ganging up on him, and he didn’t like it.

“Okay, fine, we’ll have a birthday party,” Shigaraki sighed.

Fuyumi nodded and smiled happily while Touya snorted and kept on playing. Unlike Shigaraki, he’d allowed Yukiko to sit on the couch with him. She was curled up against his side under his arm, resting her head against his chest. For all the trouble she gave him, Yukiko was...a good baby. She let him have time to himself. Maybe he should’ve let her climb on him. She just wanted to be by him. Fuck.

That was the least of his problems. Her birthday, according to the records Tsukauchi had found, was in three days, and he hadn’t done shit. He supposed it wasn’t that big of a deal. He could have a small party for her, maybe at his place, with like five people. It wasn’t like he knew anyone else with babies or that it mattered. The daycare employees said that Yukiko played well with other kids, but she liked to stick with herself. Should he be worried about that? No, no, that was normal for some babies.

“So, uh… What do I do for a party?” Shigaraki asked. “I guess you two can come over, obviously Uraraka.” Touya mouthed something, but he looked away before Shigaraki could say anything. “Iguchi probably won’t be interested. Kaminari will jump on it. We can order takeout and...a cake?”

The silence that followed was deafening. One would’ve thought he’d proposed a ritual sacrifice for her birthday.

“Okay, I don’t want to overstep or anything,” Fuyumi said carefully, “but if you want, I can plan it for you.”

Shigaraki raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Yeah!” Fuyumi replied. “I helped out with everyone’s birthdays when we were younger. It was fun.”

“Hm.” Shigaraki eyed her warily. “I don’t want to force this on you. It seems like something I should do.”

Fuyumi waved her hands in the air. “No, no, it’s fine, seriously. I’d love to do this for you both. This way, you can just focus on Yukiko and spending the day with her.”

“Weren’t you all about delegation back in the day?” Touya pointed out unhelpfully.

Glowering at Touya, Shigaraki muttered, “I mean, if you want to…”

“Oh, do you think Uraraka would want to help?” Fuyumi asked.

Before Shigaraki could even get a word out, Touya said, “She’d be delighted. Wouldn’t she, Shigaraki? That’s her little girl, after all.”

“Especially after that whole mess. The media is so...awful sometimes.” Fuyumi sighed. She would know. How many reporters had called nonstop and showed up at her work for a single quote during Touya’s trial and after Endeavor took himself out of the ranking system? It must’ve been a nightmare for someone as private and shy as her. They’d tried to keep their lives away from the public for so long, for better or worse, and to have it invaded like that must’ve been uncomfortable. “How is she, by the way?”

“She’s, uh, she’s good?” Shigaraki wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to say. It wasn’t like he kept tabs on her. Plus, he had a feeling that if something awkward or uncomfortable did happen to her that involved him, she didn’t always tell him in case it irritated him. She didn’t want him to feel bad over something he couldn’t control. People were so damn...kind.

Seemingly understanding his predicament, Fuyumi smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.”

That smile seemed suspicious to Shigaraki, but he didn’t have the energy to question it, so he gave her Uraraka’s number without arguing. Unlike Touya, he usually felt like Fuyumi didn’t have any ulterior motives. All she was going to do was ask Uraraka if she wanted to help with Yukiko’s birthday party, which, even though Touya pissed him off, she probably would definitely enjoy or want to be involved in. At least that was one less thing he’d have to worry about. It should’ve been him planning it, but he didn’t have a clue what to do and researching it sounded like a one-way trip to falling into a hole of regret.

With that taken care of, they ate dinner, Fuyumi and Touya back to their bickering selves, and avoided conversation about any of the recent media scandals. Both his therapist and parole officer had honestly been excited more than anything else. Of course they would. They loved the idea of him hanging out regularly with a pro hero. To them, it meant he had a less likely chance of relapsing into his old ways. If only they knew how many heroes were actually involved in his life. They’d be overwhelmed with giddiness.

Ugh.

After dinner, Shigaraki could tell Yukiko was getting groggy. It was fairly late, close to her bedtime, so he went ahead and changed her diaper and put her in her pajamas. She was normally a pain in the ass to change from all the wiggling around, but she was so pliable when she was this sleepy. The daycare workers loved to talk about how easy she was to put down for a nap compared to most babies, which was the truth. She did sleep well now that she was in her own bed. It was a miracle. He couldn’t complain about that at least.

When he went to leave, Fuyumi pulled him into a hug, one of the things he’d gotten (mostly) used to over the past two years. She treated him like family, like a brother, and it always took him back, but… It made sense. She’d wanted a family for so long. It was easy for her to pull others into her orbit, to bring them into her home, to make them feel wanted and necessary. She really was too good for both him and Touya – far too good – but she was the perfect person for Yukiko to have in her life.

“Don’t worry about her birthday,” Fuyumi told him when she pulled away. “We’ll take care of everything.” She gave him a smile and a thumb’s up. “Uraraka already agreed to help out. It’s so sweet how much she adores Yukiko.”

All Shigaraki could muster was a simple, “Yeah,” if only because he knew Touya would have something smart to add if he said anything else. Yukiko’s head was already lolling on his shoulder, so he left quickly after that. He would try not to think about her birthday party – he didn’t want to think about it – but it would be hard as well, especially when the feeling of failure hung in the back of his mind.

It was a fucking birthday party. It was so damn simple. Why couldn’t he do such a little thing? What kind of parent did that make him?

(Even All for One had bought him toys and sweets for his birthday, especially if he showed progress, made him feel wanted and like he mattered.)

Also, if Uraraka had already agreed to help Fuyumi with planning Yukiko’s birthday party, why hadn’t she said anything to him yet? Not that she had to confirm he was okay with it – because one) he was, two) it didn’t matter, and three) that was less work on him – but he figured she would say something cheesy and cheerful about how excited she was. That was just her nature.

Yukiko was asleep in her car seat two minutes into the drive, a peaceful and content look on her chubby face. He’d been that happy once too, hadn’t he? Shigaraki let out a breath and flexed his fingers before gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, resisting the urge to scratch at his neck. All he had to do was keep this up – whatever it was that he was doing.

*

There were a lot of signs throughout the next few days that Shigaraki should’ve paid more attention to, but he’d been too distracted to think things through carefully.

Not only had he been slammed at work because of some stupid prerelease party for the most popular game of the year, but two of his nightshift people were sick as well. To make matters more complicated, he found out that he needed a new front driver-side tire for the stupid minivan. (Had one of them been slashed? Well, now that he’d been outed, that was to be expected every once in a while, he supposed.) Also, he had a meeting with his therapist and Uraraka got called in unexpectedly, Touya was at work, and Fuyumi was busy, so he had to last-minute ask All Might to watch Yukiko.

So he let a few things slip past him without considering the implications. When Uraraka asked if they could have the birthday party at his apartment, he didn’t think anything of it. He figured they would anyway since that was the most convenient place and it was free. When Fuyumi asked if he was okay with them inviting people, he was slammed at work, so he just texted back sure and promptly forgot about it. When All Might made a comment about her birthday while Shigaraki was handing her over, it went in one ear and out the other as he thought about his therapy session.

Everything had been laid out to warn him of what was to come in just a few days, but he ignored them entirely. He regretted the decision greatly now that the party was going on.

How Uraraka and Fuyumi had managed to transform his living room into a birthday paradise for a one-year-old while he was gone for work was beyond Shigaraki. Truth be told, there wasn’t that much – streamers, balloons, and a few other things that he’d seen in movies where birthday parties were depicted  – but the decorations were everywhere and, even worse, they were super colorful and obnoxious as hell.

Touya was absolutely delighted over the change. He’d damn near tackled him with a party hat when he walked into the apartment, nearly knocking him and Yukiko over. “You should really paint your place with these colors,” he said as he threw an arm over Shigaraki’s shoulders. A cheeky grin stretched across his face. “Really suits you and your positive, glowing vibes.”

Shigaraki shoved him away. “Asshole.”

“Aw, c’mon,” Touya laughed, “Yukiko loves them.”

Of course she did. She loved everything colorful and shiny, such a contrast to the greys that had filled his world for the better part of his life. It was the complete opposite of him, but...he couldn’t deny that it brought him relief. He liked that she was so different from him in most cases; he wanted her to be different from him.

Uraraka practically bounced out of Yukiko’s bedroom, Yukiko in her arms. “And here’s the birthday girl!”

Yukiko giggled as Uraraka held her up, waving her arms about excitedly. Uraraka had bought a special birthday dress for her to change into for the party. It seemed like such a stupid idea to Shigaraki when Yukiko was likely going to be covered in food and shit by the end of the night and the dress would be ruined, but he wasn’t going to say no. She and Fuyumi had apparently found it together and thought it was so cute.

The frilly and flowery peach dress with “one” written on it in gold plus matching hairband was exactly the kind of outfit that would’ve made Shigaraki sneer and mock-puke if he saw it in the mall back in the day. He couldn’t understand why people forced their kids into such cheesy getups. How could they live their lives so happily, so easily, when others were falling apart around them? How could they buy something with the certainty that it would be used?

It was ...cute on her though.

“She’s so adorable!” Midoriya exclaimed, tears already in his eyes.

Oh, yeah, that was another thing. They had invited fucking everyone and their moms to Yukiko’s birthday – and even worse, almost all of them had shown up and were now crowded in his apartment.

Shigaraki wanted to fucking die . Yukiko was overwhelmingly happy, giggling and smiling bigger than ever before, but at what cost?

Ever the traitor, as soon as Uraraka set Yukiko on the ground, she crawled right over to Midoriya. Shigaraki was forced to watch as the Number One Hero and Kaminari crouched down to her level and fawned over her. Of course she absolutely loved it. Little stinker. They were both wearing the stupid party hats (okay, so was he, but he knew he looked stupid at least) and stupid grins. Even though he was wary of looking away from her, he couldn’t help but glare at all the people in his apartment.

“You look positively ecstatic,” Uraraka said when she meandered over to him.

“Thrilled,” Shigaraki replied dryly.

“Want me to tell them to leave?” Uraraka asked.

He glanced back to look her in the face. Even though her eyes were bright, she wore a mostly serious look on her face. If he asked her to, she would tell them to leave. She could stay – if she wanted to. He turned back to glance at Yukiko. Her chubby cheeks were bunched up and pink. She was stumbling around while holding onto Kaminari’s fingers. In the kitchen, All Might and Inko Midoriya were talking with Fuyumi and Rei. Touya and Ashido were poking around the pile of presents stacked in the corner. Makino was telling what he was pretty sure was an embarrassing story about him to Todoroki and Iguchi.

All in all, it was a really weird fucking crowd, but if Yukiko was happy…

“It’s...fine,” Shigaraki gritted out.

Uraraka snorted. “Don’t worry. It won’t last long – just food, cake, and presents.”

“There are so many,” Shigaraki complained. He didn’t know presents were even something he could complain about until now. Where was he supposed to put all this stuff? What about Christmas? Her second birthday? Other holidays? Did he just throw this shit away? Donate it? Was he really going to be the former villain who donated children’s toys? He’d never… All for One had bought him things, but he’d never had this much.

“Well, everyone wanted to bring her something,” Uraraka pointed out. She tapped her chin. “Although there are a few that are unaccounted for… No one has claimed them. I thought maybe you bought some stuff in advance, but I didn’t think you would be that good at wrapping.”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes and then choked on his tongue. His first thought was to be suspicious about any random packages, but then it struck him. The last time he’d received random gifts for Yukiko had been when–

“It’s, uh–” How the hell was he supposed to explain that a wanted villain had most likely shown up and left birthday presents for Yukiko like some secret gift-giving ninja?

Uraraka laughed. “It’s okay. Fuyumi had an idea since this has, ah, happened before.”

“I’m not–” Shigaraki rubbed his temple. Was everyone determined to give him a headache? He was surprised she hadn’t suggested turning the things in for evidence. If she knew that the presents were from a criminal on the run, it was in her right to turn them in. He could get in trouble for this, even if it wasn’t like he was in contact with the man. Still being friends with Touya and Iguchi were hard enough on his parole officer. “We’re not in contact or anything.”

“Relax,” Uraraka told him. “I know you’re not aiding and abetting a criminal. Besides, he left a note.”

Shigaraki frowned. “You were testing me?”

“I was teasing you,” Uraraka shot back, rolling her eyes. Right. Not everyone had ulterior motives. “He made it clear that you aren’t involved. The presents were legally bought – with cash, of course. He even provided receipts in case you needed to return them for one reason or another. He sent his regards and wished he could be here for you both if circumstances weren’t so...tenuous.”

“Always dramatic,” Shigaraki muttered with an inward snort.

“He got you the minivan, didn’t he?”

Letting out a breath, Shigaraki nodded. “I had All Might check it out before touching it. He said it’s clean – or, at any rate, it couldn’t be traced back to anything criminal. Even Tsukauchi said it looked good.”

“Well, there’s a reason he hasn’t been caught yet.” Uraraka shrugged. There wasn’t much else to do. They could turn the presents over to the police to be processed, but both of them knew it would be a bust. Maybe they’d be able to catch him on camera at the stores by using the receipts, but Sako was smarter than to be caught by something like that. Hell, he probably even winked and tipped his hat to the security cameras. “At least he’s supportive?”

“The crib and bouncer were from him too,” Shigaraki admitted.

Uraraka shook her head. “I thought they were too fancy.” She peered at him sideways, a careful look back on her face again like she was scrutinizing him. No, it was concern. There was a difference. “You sure you’re okay with this? It’s a little much, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.” Shigaraki waved a hand. “But I wouldn’t have been able to do anything like this, and Fuyumi is right. This is...an important day. It’s a miracle we even know her birthday.” It had been thanks to Detective Tsukauchi and All Might that they’d been able to find out. Himura had not made it easy on them. “Just cake and presents and then we can be done with this. Maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll fall asleep.”

“After all that sugar?” Uraraka laughed. “One can only hope.”

Yeah, he was definitely going to regret this.

Steeling his nerves as much as he could, Shigaraki made his way into the kitchen to prepare himself a plate of food. He was starving, and Fuyumi’s cooking was not to be outdone. Rei had helped her, which meant he had to thank them both. It wasn’t as hard thanking them as it was others. Plus, by now Rei was the one holding Yukiko, and she was the best distraction. People would much rather focus on a baby than him. As much attention as she brought to him sometimes, she also took attention away.

Most people sensed that he wasn’t in the mood to socialize, so they focused on Yukiko. That was fine. It was her day, not his. She seemed more than happy to be passed around to everyone, delighted with their adoration. While stuck in the middle of a disagreement between Touya and Kaminari, he watched as Uraraka fed her a few small scraps of food from her plate as they sat on the couch together. She loved it, but then, Yukiko loved to eat. He’d never had a problem with that. She’d already started to whine for his food whenever he ate.

When it came time for the cake, Shigaraki was forced to go to the front and hold Yukiko in front of it so they could all sing happy birthday. The singing grated on his ears and made him cringe horribly, especially since Kaminari had decided to be the loudest and his voice was terrible, but Yukiko gawked at the blue flame on the candle like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. She wasn’t old enough to blow it out so, after working through his utter humiliation and distaste over the whole ordeal, he blew it out for her, and everyone cheered.

Why was this so damn painful? People did this every day. This was what people did with their loved ones and shit. He supposed the issue was that he barely tolerated most of the people in this room. And if All Might gave him one more proud look, he was going to lose it. Absolutely lose it. He would–

Uraraka put a hand on his arm. “Cake?”

Shigaraki blinked and looked down at Yukiko, who was sitting on the table staring down the cake. “Right.”

He wasn’t exactly sure what the protocol was here, but it was her cake, so he figured she should have the first piece. However, right when he opened his mouth to ask for a knife, she jammed her hands into it and did a nosedive. He almost yelped, certain she was going to smother herself with cake, but then she popped up and laughed. Cake and icing covered her face and hands. He watched in semi-horror as she wiped the food all over her pretty dress.

Instead of being upset though, Uraraka laughed as well. “Good job!”

“Nice one!” Midoriya agreed.

Kaminari planted a hand over his heart. “A kid after my own heart.”

“So cute,” Ashido cooed.

“Oh, Izuku, she did the same thing as you!” Midoriya’s mother giggled, to which Rei nodded in agreement. Out of four of her kids, at least one of them had done the same. Probably Touya. No, definitely Touya.

“Selfish, little rolly polly,” Touya said, rather fondly. “That’s disgusting.”

No one seemed bothered by the fact that Yukiko had ruined the cake for everyone or that she continued playing in it. Shigaraki didn’t know why he was surprised when Fuyumi brought out another, child-free cake from the fridge, but he should’ve expected her to be prepared. He was spared having to cut pieces for everyone when Fuyumi stepped up to do that as well. Touya would probably harp on him later for making his sister do everything, but it was taking all of his energy just to deal with this.

The things parents do for their kids.

Once it was apparent that Yukiko was playing more than eating, Shigaraki moved to take Yukiko to change her, but then Uraraka scooped her up first and said, “I got it. You eat.” He opened his mouth, but then Touya shoved a heavy plate of cake into his chest. When he looked up, Uraraka was walking into Yukiko’s bedroom again.

Touya grinned cheekily. “You’re so–”

“I will stab you with this fork if you even think about finishing that sentence,” Shigaraki snapped.

“Coordinated,” Touya finished, although Shigaraki knew damn well that wasn’t what he was going to say. He took his own plate of cake from Fuyumi without even looking at her. “You two work well.” Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “No, I mean it. You do. You’re being a good sport about this. I know it’s driving you crazy, but every time you look like you’re about to blow, she’s right at your side, and you calm down.”

Shigaraki scowled. “You make it sound like she’s babysitting me.”

Touya gestured to the room with his fork. “This is a lot. I’m struggling. Hell, so is Iguchi, so it’s only natural.” He took a bite out of his cake. “Of course, it’ll only get worse as she gains friends and you’ll have to throw parties with other children involved.”

Horror crept slowly up Shigaraki’s spine. Oh god, Touya was right. An apartment full of adults was nothing compared to a room full of tiny children. How the hell was he supposed to handle that? This was cake compared to that. Getting into a throwdown fight with a hero would be easier than dealing with a bunch of toddlers. The daycare was so damn loud whenever he walked inside, even the baby room. And he’d have to...invite parents and their kids?

Fuck, this was awful. He did not need to worry about this right now. Maybe Yukiko would be a loner like him. He thought of how Yukiko played with everyone here tonight. Nope, she was already social for a baby – and he wanted her that way. He’d teach her to be wary of people and not trust strangers, but he didn’t want her to hate them. He wanted her to flourish with other people. So far, so good.

When Uraraka returned from the bedroom with Yukiko, she was already in one of her nightgowns. Smart thinking since it was getting late. Might as well change her into her pajamas. They would’ve had the party earlier, but he hadn’t been able to request off work.

“Presents?” she asked. “It’ll be faster if you unwrap them for her. She’s getting sleepy.”

“Can I just disintegrate the paper?” Shigaraki asked, mostly as a joke.

“Depends,” Uraraka shot back, “can you stop yourself from also disintegrating the matching hero merch onesies and t-shirts?”

Shigaraki took Yukiko from her. “I don’t know why people think you’re nice.”

Uraraka stuck out her tongue. “What? I totally am. I didn’t invite Katsuki to the party.”

“Oh, no, you just had to invite All Might.”

“That was Fuyumi. I invited Deku.”

“You both are evil,” Shigaraki told her. “No pictures of me in them, okay?”

Uraraka didn’t look the slightest bit ashamed – or like she’d agreed to his terms. She simply smiled and then turned around, clapping her hands once. “Okay, it’s time to open presents! It’s getting close to someone’s bedtime.”

“Mine!” Kaminari joked.

Iguchi scoffed. “I’ve seen you up gaming at five in the morning. Don’t lie.”

“More like ours,” All Might sighed.

Then go home and go to bed, Shigaraki couldn’t help but think. He just so happened to catch eyes with Uraraka, who was giving him a knowing look, and then turned away to stomp toward the presents.

Short of awkwardly sitting on a chair with her in his lap while he opened presents, there was nothing else he could do, so he just sat on the ground. Whatever. He didn’t care. He just had to get this over with as soon as possible. Just as he suspected upon opening the presents, most of them were either clothes or toys. One box was filled with so many clothes ranging all the way up until she was two that he didn’t know how to handle it. Of course it was from All Might. He wasn’t forced to go through any formalities of saying what present was from whom, as most people said it themselves.

When Shigaraki opened one poorly taped up bag and pulled out a black onesie, Touya smirked. “That one’s mine.”

“You got her a present...on your own?” Shigaraki asked skeptically.

“Yeah,” Touya said, far too smug with himself, pointing at the article of clothing. “Look at the other side.”

Shigaraki did as suggested, only to stop when he saw what Touya was talking about. In red-lettering Rolly-Polly Bug was stitched across the chest with a little fuzzy bug below it. Just the type of outfit that would make him roll his eyes right out of his head. Shigaraki gave him a bland look. “Seriously?”

Touya howled with laughter. “I got that special made.”

“This is worse than the Deku sleeper from Iguchi,” Shigaraki said decisively.

Midoriya held a hand over his face. “I told you it wasn’t me. I’m not that conceited.”

“Kaminari put me up to it,” Iguchi insisted.

“I’m innocent!” Kaminari yelped. “I got Yukiko normal presents.”

Ashido smacked him upside the head. “That’s only because you begged Sero for advice.”

Near the third to last present, it was obvious that Yukiko was no longer happy with being the life of the party. She was getting cranky and fussy and hard to handle. She’d shove presents away and refused to look at a camera. In short, she was acting like a pain in the ass, so he knew that he had to wrap things up quickly. He’d never unwrapped shit so fast in his life. Granted, he couldn’t remember unwrapping stuff, although surely it had happened before his quirk manifested and he had regular birthday parties.

As soon as he was done, Fuyumi jumped to her feet. “Okay, it’s late. Thanks, everyone, for coming tonight! It was really wonderful. We super appreciate it.” She smiled apologetically. “Sorry if it sounds like I’m kicking you out.”

“Totally understandable,” Rei said. She turned to Shigarki.  “It was a lovely party. Thanks for having us.”

“Yeah, uh, sure,” Shigaraki managed from his spot on the floor, like a total idiot. He still really wasn’t sure how to react around Touya’s mother despite meeting her multiple times. She said goodbye to Yukiko and then turned her attention to her children, kissing Fuyumi on the cheek and hugging Touya. Todoroki nodded in some form of acknowledgment to him and then walked their mother out the door. Kaminari, Iguchi, and Ashido all said their goodbyes at the same time. Next went All Might, Midoriya, and his mom, with All Might milling around slightly.

Shigaraki stood up, Yukiko lying against his chest, and sighed. “Just say it.”

“If you need anything…” All Might said.

“I’ll let you know. I got it.”

All Might gave him a soft, proud look, and Shigaraki had to count to five. “You’ve come a long way.”

“For her, I’ll go as far as I have to,” Shigaraki said, a little taken aback by his own honesty.

However, All Might seemed to understand, nodding and saying goodbye. It was the truth. Back when it had just been him, he hadn’t much cared about what he was doing with his life. Just living it and surviving as a civilian seemed like too much work. Doing anything more like being an actual productive member of society sounded pointlessly painful. With Yukiko in his life, he knew that he had to do more – be more – no matter the cost to himself. It was still hard.

Before Shigaraki knew it, it was just him, Touya, Fuyumi, Uraraka, and Yukiko. She was past the point of exhaustion, her head lolling and the world’s crankiest look on her face. He turned to look at all the decorations and the mess in his kitchen and shook his head. “I’ll deal with this tomorrow. I’m too fucking tired.”

“No, no,” Fuyumi jumped in, “we can do it.”

“Tomorrow,” Shigaraki insisted.

Fuyumi clasped her hands together. “Of course.”

It was hard for him – and he didn’t want to say it out loud – but Shigaraki took a deep breath, mustered all the strength in him, and forced out, “Thank you. I couldn’t have done this on my own.”

“It was our pleasure,” Fuyumi said happily, genuinely. She was too fucking good for them.

“I’ll bill you,” Uraraka added playfully. She was not.

“Well,” Touya drawled, “the bug looked like she had fun at least.”

Yukiko did have fun. Shigaraki couldn’t deny that. She was just tired and so was he. He’d never cared about his place being a mess before and, while he cared a little more now, he did not at this moment. Touya said something about hitting him up tomorrow and Fuyumi thanked him for letting her plan the party. She kissed Yukiko on the forehead while Touya poked her in the nose and then they were gone, carrying out a bag of torn-up wrapping paper with them.

Uraraka finished tidying up the kitchen as much as she could and planted her hands on her hips. “So, that wasn’t bad, was it?”

“You’re right,” Shigaraki said. “It was awful.”

Uraraka blew a raspberry. “Want me to put her to bed?”

“No, I got it,” Shigaraki sighed. “I can do that much.”

“You did great,” Uraraka told him. “Seriously.”

He wasn’t sure why her words meant something, but they did. He’d tried. He’d done his best. He couldn’t have done anything more, but he hadn’t done less. Yukiko wouldn’t be able to remember that someone else had planned her first birthday party for her, and he’d been here. He had been present and available. She was happy. He took a deep breath. Fuck, she was so happy. It was so much more than he could ask for. He hadn’t thought a baby could be as happy as Yukiko, especially with someone like him as a father, but she was, and…

It felt good.

“See you tomorrow?” Shigaraki asked.

Uraraka tilted her head. “Didn’t know if you’d want me to come over.”

Shigaraki scoffed. “I’m not cleaning up this shit by myself.”

“Fair point,” Uraraka laughed. He shook his head and glanced down at Yukiko, who was drifting off to sleep in his arms like it was the best and safest place in the world for her to be.

It felt really fucking good.

Chapter 37: One small step for mankind...

Notes:

I remember the exact moment this happened with my daughter, and I've not known peace ever since.

Chapter Text

Uraraka didn’t know whether to feel relieved or not that Yukiko didn’t once call her “mama” during the birthday party. It would have made things incredibly awkward, and Shigaraki had already been stressed out enough over having so many people inside his apartment. All in all, it had been a great turnout. Yukiko was happy, Shigaraki didn’t have an aneurysm, the food and cake were successes. It was fun. No super embarrassing or awkward moments happened, so no one had a heart attack.

The ridiculousness of the situation still wasn’t lost on her. Three former villains, multiple current heroes and retired heroes, and civilians were all crammed into one apartment celebrating a baby’s birthday years after they tried to kill each other – and no one got hurt. How innocent and normal.

Life settled into a strange routine. She and Shigaraki had made it a rule to ignore any paparazzi bullshit, which was hard to do when it was everywhere, but she’d spent two years ignoring her crush on Deku, so she had a knack for it. Instead, she focused solely on her work. She didn’t answer any questions relating to him or Yukiko, didn’t engage with people that wanted to argue with her, and took herself out of the media. Heroes that often did interviews and such were the ones that wanted to boost their rank in popularity, but she didn’t want to do that.

All she wanted to do was her job and be a hero.

“So you’re for sure coming out with us on Friday?” Mina asked again over the speaker.

Uraraka rolled her eyes as she rinsed off a bowl in the sink. “Yes, yes, I’ll be there. I’ll even meet you at your place.”

“Good, because you missed my birthday party–”

“A villain attacked! Blame him!”

“I do,” Mina quipped. “I’ll be sure to have that added to his charges when he gets arraigned.”

Shaking her head, Uraraka set the bowl aside to dry and started on the silverware. She really had planned on going to Mina’s party, but then a villain robbed a jewelry store and she got caught up in it and was on the scene for six hours after her shift ended. By the time she’d peeled herself out of her hero costume, all she could do was collapse on her bed and sleep until she had to get up to run errands.

“I’m coming,” Uraraka reassured her best friend. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I was just making sure,” Mina said innocently. “You have been spending every Friday with Yukiko and Shigaraki since you two decided to say fuck the paparazzi.”

“I haven’t–” Uraraka stopped herself. Had she? No, Mina was just exaggerating to tease her. “I’m not going to bail on you for a baby, I swear. Besides, he’s got plans – hanging out with the guys.”

“And they want a baby girl there because…?”

“Kaminari says he’s their team mascot.”

Mina snorted. “That sounds like him.” She sighed fondly on her end of the phone. “I know it’s hard to picture since he was such a dumb weirdo in school, but he’s actually great with kids. I mean, he’s the godfather of Sero’s daughter.”

“Well, it’s still sometimes hard to picture Shigaraki as a great father, but…” The two of them laughed.

It honestly wasn’t that difficult anymore. She’d grown so used to seeing Shigaraki with Yukiko that it was equally as hard to picture him without her. It would be impossible to forget the past entirely. He had terrified Japan along with the League of Villains. They had fought against each other. She’d sworn to bring him down and to justice alongside Deku. He had…

She let out a sigh. He’d killed people. A horrible childhood and years' worth of manipulation were reasons, not excuses. While she was ignoring the media now, a few articles had reminded painfully about some of the atrocities he’d committed before the League had gone the vigilante route. Those years wouldn’t make up for his actions, but he knew that. She could tell he did from the way he acted with Yukiko – when he sometimes looked sideways at Touya – how he interacted hesitantly with her still.

So much was different now. They had changed, but they’d also changed the world. It was strange.

And it was even stranger that one little kid could flip everything on its end for so many people. Where would she have been now if she hadn’t seen Shigaraki on the street struggling to hold Yukiko that night? Where would Shigaraki be? Touya? Kaminari? All Might? Deku? It might not seem like it at first, but for someone so little and young, she’d already made an impact on so many lives.

“How is the little cutie anyways?” Mina asked curiously. “You’re with her now, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, Shigaraki had some business to take care of, so he dropped her off,” Uraraka said, setting the last dish in the rack to dry.

“So cute how you two share custody,” Mina cooed.

Uraraka shook her head. “Stop it.” She dried her hands off and picked up her phone from the counter, turning off the speaker and pressing it to her ear. “She’s supposed to be down for a nap, but apparently this documentary on pandas is too fascinating.” They’d stumble across it by accident while Uraraka was searching for cartoons, but the animal show held her interest far better. She’d have to tell Shigaraki about that trick. “Yukiko, you want some mochi?”

Stubborn as she was, Yukiko knew her name – and she also knew the word “mochi”, which always got her crawling. Shigaraki called her a mochi fiend. If she even saw the stuff when he went to the grocery store, she got demanding and would make grabbing hands for it, wailing loudly if he didn’t get any. That might have been Uraraka’s fault, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.

Peeking around the side of the couch, Yukiko let out an excited squeal. She pulled herself onto her feet and used the edge of the couch to walk alongside it. When she reached the back, she hesitated, but then took one step away from the couch and wobbled in the air. “Mama!”

Uraraka bit her lip, a smile threatening to burst onto her face, and hoped Yukiko’s voice was unintelligible enough for Mina to not have understood her. She didn’t want to have that conversation yet. For now, it was between them, and it was the one thing she wanted to keep that way. Forgoing correcting her, seeing as how she wouldn’t understand it anyways, Uraraka crouched down and held out a hand.

And then, instead of dropping to the ground and crawling the rest of the way, Yukiko took a step and then another and then another until suddenly it was like she’d been walking for at least a week.

Uraraka nearly dropped her phone. “Oh my god! Oh my– I have to go! I’ll call you back!”

“Why?” Mina demanded in concern. “What’s going on? Are you okay? Is Yukiko–?”

“She’s walking!” Uraraka exclaimed. “She’s walking and this is her first time and I– I don’t know!”

Before Mina could say anything else, Uraraka hung up on her. She didn’t know what to do. As if suddenly realizing that she was walking instead of crawling, Yukiko didn’t come straight to her. Instead, she wobbled around the room in wonder, giggling and waving her arms around to balance easier, slowly getting faster with each step. Uraraka’s first instinct was to call Shigaraki and tell him, but he was actually doing something serious. His lawyer had wanted to talk with him about a few things. She was wary of interrupting him, but she also knew he would want to know.

Oh, shit, he was going to be so pissed that he missed this.

Okay, wait, he might not be here, but he didn’t have to miss it entirely. Uraraka pulled up the camera app on her phone and started to record a video. Yukiko was the perfect little star, tottering around precariously and laughing at her newfound mobility. If she hadn’t been getting into everything before, she was going to be even worse now. She already had a habit of trying to follow people into the bathroom. This would make it so much worse.

“Good job, Yukiko!” Uraraka cheered. “Look at you go!”

At the sound of Uraraka’s voice and her name, Yukiko turned around, teetering precariously, and then waddled over to her like a penguin, flapping her arms and everything. It was so painfully cute that Uraraka almost burst into tears. She had always thought babies were adorable, but none of them had come close to Yukiko. Honestly, it shouldn’t be this possible to love someone this much, but…

Wow, Uraraka really loved this kid. How could she have ever thought she could leave her and cut herself out of Yukiko’s life?

Oh, she was not going to think about the implications of that right now. It was time to focus on Yukiko and celebrate her growth. She wasn’t going to think about how she’d just realized that she loved Shigaraki’s daughter. Nope, that was going to the back of her mind for now.

The moment she was close, Uraraka stopped the video recorder and set the phone down so she could slide her hands underneath Yukiko’s arms and lift her into the air, standing as she did so. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Mama! Mama!” Yukiko laughed, a wide, open-mouthed smile on her face.

Uraraka hugged her close and then bent down to pick up her phone. “Your papa is gonna be so sad that he missed this, but hopefully the video will make up for it.” She nuzzled noses with Yukiko, who patted her cheeks and squished them, and walked over to drop down on the couch. “You’re just so impatient.”

After setting the wiggling Yukiko back on her feet, Uraraka sent Shigaraki the video with a quick text: I know you’re busy but I also know you’ll want to see this.

She set the phone aside and slid down to sit in front of the couch, so she could watch Yukiko walk around. She tottered around the coffee table before crashing into Uraraka’s legs, hugging her knees. Seeing as how it was her first time, it wasn’t perfect. She often fell down on her butt, unsure of her stance, and would crawl a few paces before pushing herself back to her feet and starting again. For something so small, it was strangely inspiring. No matter how difficult it was or how much she felt, she didn’t give up.

And she always wore a smile.

“That was so cheesy,” Uraraka groaned to herself, dropping her head back against the couch cushions. “I’ve been friends with Deku for too long.”

Her phone buzzed so hard on the couch that her head vibrated. She picked it up and caught Shigaraki’s name. Well, that hadn’t taken him long – just five minutes. Maybe he had to step aside in order to watch the video. She hoped he wasn’t too upset… Touya had mentioned a while back how angry he got with himself over missing her rolling over for the first time, but this was even bigger. At least he’d been there for her first word.

Answering the call, Uraraka pressed the phone to her ear and greeted with a careful, “Hey–”

“Are you shitting me?” Shigaraki exploded before she could get another word out. “She’s walking! I’m stuck at this godforsaken lawyer’s office, and I missed her take her first fucking steps? I can’t fucking believe it. No, I can. She hates me. I swear she does this on purpose. I’ve been trying to get her to walk for months – she’s been ready, and I knew it, but she’s such a stubborn shit – and when I’m gone for two hours, she does it?”

Despite his furious tone, which might’ve once frightened her or at the least made her nervous, Uraraka sputtered into laughter. He was so indignant about this. “Calm down. I highly doubt she did this on purpose.”

“She likes you and Touya more than me,” Shigaraki complained bitterly. “I can understand you, but Touya? Really? I was certain she’d walk for him or something.”

“Well, it wasn’t really for me,” Uraraka told him. “I’m pretty sure she walked for some mochi.”

“That little fiend ,” Shigaraki hissed.

Uraraka blew a raspberry. “It’s not that bad. At least I didn’t pull a Touya. I took a video!”

“And I thank you for that,” Shigaraki ground out, “but it’s not the same. I wasn’t there. I couldn’t–” He huffed out an aggravated breath. “I just want to be there.”

“I know,” Uraraka replied in a calming tone, “but it’s not going to hurt her feelings that you weren’t there to see her walk.” He grunted irritably. “And it’s not your fault that you weren’t there for the first three months. Himura didn’t tell you. I’m sure had you known that she was pregnant–”

“I don’t know.”

There was a lull in the conversation. She could’ve said something, but she knew better. She had a feeling that there was something he needed to get off his chest. The older she got, the closer they became, but there was always this strange sense about him. It was hard to notice until he thought no one was paying attention to them – a furrow of his brow, a protective curl of his gloved fingers against her back, his eyes closing and lips pressing into a thin line when she called for him.

“I...don’t know if I would’ve stuck around had I known early on,” Shigaraki continued in a low tone. “I mean, that’s if I didn’t know she was a serial killer. I would’ve bounced, maybe turned her in, maybe just checked out entirely. If I had been warned, I might’ve taken precautions to not be involved in her life. I might have cut off all contact because I didn’t think I could handle it–”

“But you did!” Uraraka cut in, sensing the spiral happening. It had to be a sixth sense after being friends with Deku for so long. She knew when he was going to start rambling and how to distract him before he could fall too into it. “I know it doesn’t seem like much, but very few people would’ve done what you did. You had a three month old thrown into your lap, and you took her without any hesitation.”

“There was some hesitation.”

“You took her,” Uraraka stated firmly, sitting up and stiffening her back. “You protected her. You have done everything you could for her and more. I can tell you feel like you have to make up for the months you lost – for having a shitty childhood yourself – but you don’t need to get so worked up about this. She loves you. She knows you love her. That’s all that matters.”

“Is it?”

Uraraka took a deep breath. “You almost done there?”

“Now,” Shigaraki said. “I’m coming over now.”

“Are you actually done?”

“More or less,” Shigaraki said. “There might be a few things left to discuss, but they aren’t as important. I can deal with them later. I’m coming to get her now.”

It was clear that debating him any further was futile. They ended the phone call, and that was that. Shaking her head, she set her cell aside and went back to playing with Yukiko. She honestly wasn’t sure how Shigaraki was going to react when he got here – she doubted he knew either – so the best she could do was remain calm and cheerful so his weird mood wouldn’t rub off on Yukiko when she was so happy now. It was a great day, and it was going to stay that way, whether he liked it or not.

*

Shigaraki blew out of his lawyer’s office like a bat out of hell. It belonged to someone a lot more expensive and nicer than someone like him should’ve been able to afford on his minimal salary, but All Might had footed the bill. He wanted to complain, but the woman was helping him with Yukiko, so he kept his mouth shut for once. At least it was a different attorney from the one he’d had during his trial. And people that villains were scummy. Shigaraki wasn’t sure that guy hadn’t been a villain himself with the way he eviscerated people in court.

The entire drive back to Uraraka’s apartment, Shigaraki gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. He was ten minutes into the drive before he realized that he’d forgotten to turn the radio on and had therefore been driving in a temperamental silence he’d not felt since his villain days.

Yukiko was walking. She was walking – entirely on her own with no helping hand from anyone.

He should’ve been there. He should’ve been there to see it – to witness it – to record it. His mind strayed to his phone, the urge to watch it again popping into his mind, but he was driving and didn’t want to stop. He’d spent the past three months working with her so much, his back aching from bending over so her little hands could wrap around his fingers as she tried to walk. He sat on the ground and tried to coax her to walk. He even used mochi, which he told Uraraka he didn’t buy her but totally did. Bribery typically worked on kids, right?

Wrong. His daughter was the most stubborn child on the planet. She had totally been capable of walking, but she’d been holding out on him. She hadn’t want him to see it first. She wouldn’t do it for him. She–

You’re being fucking ridiculous.

Yeah, he was, but the admission didn’t make him feel any better.

By the time he pulled into Uraraka’s apartment complex, he’d managed to cool down. Yukiko walking for the first time while he wasn’t around wasn’t a personal slight against his abilities as a father. She didn’t do it on purpose. She wasn’t angry or upset with him. It simply was what it was. Babies did things on their own time. They were like a time bomb slowly ticking down to zero, except when they did, they either did something new for the first time or they shit so much that a villain would be knocked unconscious.

He ran his fingers through his messy hair, took a deep breath, and dragged himself out of the minivan. Unlike the time he exploded on Touya when he missed her rolling over, Uraraka had at least had the foresight to record her walking. As he walked into the building and up the stairs, he pulled his phone out to watch the video again.

“Good job, Yukiko!” Uraraka’s disembodied voice narrated in the video. “Look at you go!”

He blew out some air and shoved his phone back into his pocket. The obvious pride in her voice was so different from how All for One sounded whenever he was proud. There had always been a hint of smugness in his voice, something Shigaraki hadn’t recognized until years later. A smirk, a laugh. But the smile in Uraraka’s voice was warm and bright. It was so innocent, especially when Yukiko was laughing and smiling just as much. It was too much – far much more than he deserved – and he didn’t know what to do with it.

Happy. He supposed he could be happy and even grateful that Yukiko had someone like that in her life. It wasn’t like Himura would’ve been excited to see Yukiko walk for the first time. Fuck, he wasn’t even sure Yukiko would’ve…

No, it didn’t matter. That woman was out of Yukiko’s life forever. It didn’t matter what she would and wouldn’t have done. Because Yukiko had him. She had Uraraka, Touya, Fuyumi. She had All fucking Might, Midoriya, and Kaminari. She had so many damn people in her life. It was fortunate. He wouldn’t have been able to do this alone. As much as he’d wanted to believe he could in the beginning, ten months later, he knew it would’ve been impossible.

It really did take a village of idiots to raise a kid.

Shortly after knocking on Uraraka’s door, her voice called out, “What’s the password?”

Despite the fact that he had been the one to set up this protective system in the first place, Shigaraki wasn’t in the mood for it. “My kid is walking. Let me in.”

Uraraka unlocked the door, pulling it open to reveal a pout on her face. “That’s not the password.”

“Then why did you open the door?”

“Because no one could capture that particular grumpiness in your voice,” Uraraka quipped.

Shigaraki rolled his eyes and brushed past her to walk inside. However, the moment he spotted Yukiko standing on her feet in the middle of the room, he froze. Oh, fuck. She was getting so big. She could stand and walk on her own. She’d been barely bigger than his forearm when Himura first pulled her out of that disgusting duffle bag, and now look at her. Fucking look at her.

At the sound of his voice, she turned around, having recognized him, and her eyes widened in delight. With an ear-splitting scream of what he hoped was joy, she toddled toward him, slowly gaining momentum until he was certain that she was going to fall and bust her face. He crouched down and caught her under the arms right when her feet finally refused to keep up with her excitement and she fell forward, swooping her into the air and against his chest.

“You little shit,” Shitgaraki muttered.

Yukiko smacked his cheeks with her hands. “Shit!”

“Her favorite word,” Uraraka teased. At least she wasn’t offended by it. Even if he didn’t admit it to Touya or the employees at the daycare, he thought it was entertaining.

Once she startled wiggling in his arms, Shigaraki set her back down on her feet. Instead of dropping to her butt and crawling like she did this morning when he dropped her off, she awkwardly walked away, sometimes raising on her tiptoes before remembering to walk flat-footed. He huffed out an aggravated breath. “She’s gonna get into even more shit now, isn’t she?”

“A lot of climbing,” Uraraka confirmed.

“Fucking great.”

“You’re gonna have to actually put her shoes on now,” Uraraka pointed out. “It’s a good thing she got some for her birthday. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wear shoes.”

“They were pointless,” Shigaraki insisted.

Smiling, Uraraka said in a singsong voice, “Not anymore.”

Ugh. Seriously, he didn’t know why people put shoes on babies when they couldn’t even walk. It was hard enough keeping her socks on during the winter. She tugged them off as soon as he buckled her into her car seat, and he was pretty sure she hid them throughout the apartment. He could never find matching pairs no matter how many times he bought the same socks, and they were everywhere and nowhere. There was no way in hell she would’ve kept any tiny baby shoes he tried to put on her equally chubby feet.

“So,” Uraraka said carefully, changing her tune. “How you feeling?”

“Tired,” Shigaraki said. With Yukiko walking around, he was bound to be even more exhausted. Maybe she’d wear herself out more now as well. One could only hope. “I’m not upset – not anymore. I was a little mad, but…” He waved a hand about. “She’s my kid, so of course she does whatever she wants whenever she wants. It’s not your fault that you were here and I wasn’t – and you were smart enough to take a video, so I at least saw it.”

Uraraka tilted her head. “Is that...positive thinking I hear? Do I need to take your temperature? Are you okay?”

“Maybe the therapy’s finally working,” Shigaraki shot back.

“I mean” – Uraraka snorted – “I sure hope it is.”

As if finally realizing that walking was, in fact, much more tiring than crawling around, Yukiko came to an abrupt stop and plopped on her butt. She didn’t even bother trying to crawl back over, lifting her hands in the air and grunting at him to pick her up. Fuck, she was so demanding, but he supposed all babies were. While he didn’t always know what she wanted, somehow, in the last ten months, they’d learned to communicate with each other. She was still figuring out what most things meant, although he knew damn well that she understood the word “no” even if she didn’t always act like it. Unlike in the beginning, however, he had a good hang on what she did and didn’t want depending on how she acted or what sounds she made.

Yes, there was a difference between her hungry cry, shitty diaper cry, sleepy cry, and needy attention cry. He didn’t care what Touya said. Sometimes, she even cried for no damn reason at all, just for the hell of it, like she was torturing him by forcing him to spend twenty minutes trying to figure out what she wanted. Damn, she really was his kid. What a brat.

“Okay, okay,” Shigaraki said as he swooped over and picked her up. “Let’s go home. You can stay up and watch me play some video games or something.”

“Wow, really spoiling her there,” Uraraka drawled.

“Hey, I played the games she prefers,” Shigaraki replied defensively.

Uraraka raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

He was not about to tell Uraraka that he’d bought the new Animal Crossing game because Yukiko saw it at the store and wouldn’t let go of it.

“Just...games with a lot of colors. It doesn’t really matter. They’re obscure games so you wouldn’t know them.”

Fucking idiot .

“Okay,” Uraraka said, holding up her hands in surrender. “You’re the bigger nerd. I get it.”

Wow, it had really come to this. Years ago, had someone spoken to him so dismissively, he would’ve lashed out at them, maybe even killed them. Now he was holding a one-year-old getting teased by a pro hero. Life was strange. He didn’t want to think about how it didn’t anger him. It should have, but instead, the corners of his lips threatened to quirk into a smirk. It was kind of nice to have someone that wasn’t afraid to push back – besides Touya.

“Well, we’re out of here.”

“Alright,” Uraraka said brightly, “we had fun this afternoon. It’s fun when it’s so nice outside. We can actually do stuff.”

“Right, yeah.”

He didn’t know what else to say, so he gathered Yukiko’s things, let them say their goodbyes, and then left. Goodbyes had never been difficult for him before. He typically just walked out without bothering with them in the first place. He hated saying goodbye or whatever. It didn’t matter. They’d gotten easier and more normal over time, but for some strange reason, they’d been a little awkward in the past month. Maybe it was because she was the one normally leaving his place and saying goodbye, but now he had to leave. That made a difference, right?

It just… It felt like there was something missing – like there was something else to say but he wasn’t sure what. He’d figure it out eventually, but the words evaded him.

(Or maybe he was avoiding them. He was good at that.)

Chapter 38: The things you do for your kids

Notes:

Okay, I'll admit that this is kind of a boring chapter. It sets up some stuff that I headcanon about for future ideas after this main fic is over. But also, it shows Shigaraki's development and how far he's progressed since the beginning of the fic. And, well, the next "arc" is going to be a pretty, ah, important one.

Chapter Text

Shigaraki breathed in and told himself for the hundredth time that this was for the best. Something about Yukiko walking for the first time kicked an idea loose, and he couldn’t get anything done properly with it rattling around in his head. He went to bed thinking about it, woke up thinking about it, and definitely thought it about the entire time he was at work. Restocking the shelves took way more energy out of him than it should have and checking the inventory made him want to bang the clipboard against his head. What had once been mindless work became a total annoyance.

More likely, it was a constant reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere. Yukiko was walking around, and while that didn’t necessarily mean she was going anywhere, it signaled that she would one day. She was growing up. Walking was such a huge milestone. He’d read that some kids changed within a week, showing more personality and becoming more energetic, as if walking jumpstarted everything else.

Yukiko was growing – and he was maybe spiraling.

He had to grow too. He had to improve, become better, become more than what he was now.

Not too long ago, his ambition had been slightly out of control. (Okay, maybe more than slightly, but he wasn’t about to get into an argument with his own conscience.) But even if Shigaraki didn’t miss the villainy, destruction, and chaos, he did sort of miss doing something – being someone. People had both feared and respected him. He had been going places. He’d been the fucking boss. Managing a video game store during the daytime did not have the same appeal or feeling of accomplishment.

He would never reach the heights (or lows) he had back then. Shigaraki knew that those days were long gone. He wouldn’t be the leader, the boss, the big bad. He didn’t particularly want to be any of those things again, but the feeling that he’d once again fallen through the cracks of society didn’t feel right to him anymore. Before Yukiko, he’d been using it in an attempt to hide. In truth, he was humiliated and a little disgusted with himself. How could he let himself go so much? Even when he’d been under Sensei’s thumb and his mental and physical health weren’t even blips on his radar, he took note of his ambitions and desires.

Fuck, at least in prison he had been known and feared as well. It hadn’t always been a good thing – more than one prisoner and guard tried to kill him since he’d been cut off from his quirk and left seemingly defenseless – but it had made him feel accomplished. A faint sense of pride would burn inside of him when a fellow inmate couldn’t look him in the eyes or when a guard quietly admitted that he thought hero society was broken too. Eventually, people knew better than to mess with him or Touya.

And then he got out of prison and he couldn’t be Shigaraki anymore. He had to be Tenko, and Tenko was no one .

That anonymity helped him a lot, but it also stung bitterly in ways he least expected. Apparently, cleaned up and sans hands, he didn’t look all that threatening. In fact, after years languishing in prison, he’d lost a lot of the definition he’d gained while fighting villains and heroes. The cream helped his dry skin, allowing the wrinkles to fade, and a decent haircut made him look like a typical citizen. And the clothes… No more billowing trench coats, although he still stuck to comfortable, dark clothes.

He had to deal with assholes shoulder-checking him, insults thrown at him, being outright ignored – stuff that never would’ve happened once he and the League of Villains became a household name in Japan. But the League had been gone for years, other villains popped up with their terrible plots and schemes to destroy society, and the world moved on. Tenko didn’t matter. Tenko wasn’t scary. Tenko was just boring and normal, if not a little moody. It sucked, but it was his life, and he just let it happen without really doing anything.

But he couldn’t do that anymore. Coasting by no longer cut it. He could’ve conceivably kept living like this. It wasn’t like he was going to make more money or get promoted at his job, definitely not after he’d been outed as a former villain mastermind, but he made enough to pay all his bills, buy the necessities, and have a little extra for fun. His savings could’ve been better. Touya made fun of him when he grouched about that, but if there was anything Shigaraki had learned while gaming, it was that it was always a good idea to have a little cushion to fall back on.

As far as he was concerned, this was a dead-end job, and he would be damned if that was where his life ended. He didn’t want Yukiko to grow up thinking that her dad was a loser (even if, in the scheme of things, he kind of was) or an embarrassment. He was already worried about how she would respond to finding out about his past. There was no easy way to break it to a kid that her parents were absolute trash.

At least he was trying to improve himself. It was why he had come to this decision no matter how much he didn’t like it. The same could not be said for Yukiko’s biological mother, Himura. At their last meeting, the night Yukiko walked, his lawyer had given him some unpleasant updates about her trial seeing as how he’d likely be called in as a witness, none of which had been fun. The last thing he wanted to do was see that woman again, but since he’d been the one to call her in and take custody of Yukiko, he couldn’t exactly afford to escape it. The only reason he hadn’t been called yet was likely because he wasn’t that great of a witness for the prosecution or defense.

Former terrorists weren’t great character witnesses – neither were past lovers and the other parent of a child in a messy breakup.

No, he would be better than that woman. (Even though he’d technically killed more people than her, but he wasn’t going to think about that. He wasn’t.) His past would be hard for Yukiko to swallow, even harder to understand, which meant he couldn’t just work some basic job, pay his bills, and that was that. He couldn’t be an NPC. It wasn’t the life he’d been made for. A few years of living like one had damn near sucked the life out of him.

Maybe he wasn’t a main character anymore, but sometimes the mains became side characters in sequels. He could live with that, as long as he was actually living and not just in a fog of daily routine.

Nonetheless, Shigaraki really didn’t want to be here, sitting across from All Might in his apartment at the kitchen table. It was annoying, having to depend on his help again, but the piss poor truth was that he really didn’t know where to start with this. He had ideas, but he didn’t know how to go about them. While he’d done some research, he knew that he would likely be blocked every step of the way. Not that he wanted All Might to use his name to grease some wheels, but the former hero would bite at the chomp to help him again.

Well, All Might had taught him how to drive. Shigaraki might as well make his fucking dreams come true by allowing him to help him go to school. The man would probably have a fit over it; he’d be so happy. Fuck, this sucked.

To make things even more awkward, All Might wasn’t alone. Shigaraki eyed Inko Midoriya out of the corners of his eyes as she poured him a cup of tea. “Do you want something to eat?”

Shigaraki held up a gloved hand. “No, I already ate.”

“What about you, darling?” Inko asked, bending down to Yukiko’s level. “You look like you want a snack!”

Even though she too had already eaten as well, it was hard to tell seeing as how she was currently trying to chew on the wooden chair. He grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the chair. She awkwardly tiptoed backward and then waved her arms in the air to steady herself when he let go of her. However, instead of getting the point, she immediately jumped back into attack mode, latching her mouth around the wooden leg.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Shigaraki growled.

Before he could grab her, Inko scooped her up into her arms. “It’s okay! Izuku was the same way. I thought he might develop some sort of chewing quirk what with how much damage he did, but it was just teething and curiosity.”

Shigaraki made a face. “Gross.” And add that to the list of things he’d never wanted to know about his former enemies. That list was growing a lot with each passing day.

“I’ll distract her with food while you two discuss things,” Inko said, a smile on her face. When she turned around, she gave All Might a wary look that she unsuccessfully tried to hide from Shigaraki and then vanished into the kitchen. He couldn’t blame her for her discomfort. He had tried to kill her son quite a few times. The only fact that he’d been able to step foot in here was because it was All Might’s place. She might’ve come to Yukiko’s birthday party to support her son and All Might, but that didn’t mean she had to be nice to him.

Honestly, he’d preferred it if she wasn’t. It wouldn’t be real.

“So,” All Might prompted, resting his forearms on the table. “What did you want to talk about? It has to be something serious if you’ve come to me in person on your own.”

Shigaraki went to scratch his neck and then laid his hand across the back to rub it instead, averting his gaze from All Might’s concerned eyes. “Could you stop with that look? It makes me feel weirder than I already do.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” All Might apologized earnestly, looking down at his hands. “I just became worried when you showed up. I’m typically your last resort.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know where else to go,” Shigaraki admitted. He took a deep breath and waved a gloved hand. He’d gotten better about not needing them at all, but he figured it would make Midoriya’s mother more comfortable. Look at him, being all considerate and shit. “It’s not important – at least, not in the immediate scheme of things. It’s more of a long-term thing…”

All Might looked up at him again, curiosity replacing his concern. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“It’s, uh, about my future,” Shigaraki continued evasively.

Probably having learned patience teaching a bunch of snot-nosed brats throughout the past few years, All Might smiled. “You’re going to have to give me more than that.”

“I don’t want to keep working at that stupid store,” Shigaraki blurted. The patient look on All Might’s face made him want to disintegrate the table, but then he heard Yukiko laughing in the kitchen and took another breath. If he could almost destroy the core of hero society and take out terrible villains, he could do this – for her. “It pays the bills, but it’s a dead-end. I’m not going anywhere there. I could handle it before, figured I’d just rot away there and lose my sense of self and it wouldn’t matter, but I can’t stay there. I have to move forward – do something more.”

“You want to improve yourself for Yukiko’s sake,” All Might said. “It’s only natural to want something better.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know how to go about it,” Shigaraki huffed. “Well, I do, but it’ll be more complicated now that my status has been revealed to the public.”

All Might nodded. “You’re not wrong. There’s not a chance you’ll progress any further at your current job and getting a new, better one will be even harder.”

“I thought...maybe if I could make myself look better on paper, more like a model citizen…” Shigaraki folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in the chair. He knew it was some sort of defensive coping mechanism, but he couldn’t stop it. This was so damn uncomfortable, and he hated that he had to go to these lengths. Fuck, Touya was going to make so much fun of him. “I never really went to school.”

Interest lit up All Might’s face, and he sat up straight. “Ah, you’re right. You never did. All for One…”

“I mean, he taught me stuff. Kurogiri taught me as well. I wouldn’t say I was home-schooled, but it wasn’t like All for One wanted someone stupid. He needed me to be clever and smart in order to do what he wanted.” It was strange to talk about things like that, but it had happened. He’d already known how to read, although he couldn’t remember his mother teaching him, but Kurogiri had taught him math. All for One left him books to read, something he’d enjoyed doing even if they were difficult. He scoured the internet for history. “It’s not like school is something villains typically participate in.”

“No, most don’t finish,” All Might admitted shamefully. “Many slip through the cracks during those formative years and are scorned until they leave.”

All Might wasn’t wrong. That was what had happened to Toga. Instead of getting her the help she needed to work with her quirk, her family and classmates had pushed her away until she snapped. It wasn’t her fault that she hadn’t known how to curb the innate desires that her quirk caused. Jin hadn’t finished school either, dropping out in high school to work instead, and that had gotten him nowhere. Touya had been home-schooled and then later ran away from both home and school. Fuyumi had brought up the idea of getting a degree to him once, but he’d shot it down almost immediately.

It wasn’t their thing, but it was society’s, and they had to work with society now, not against it.

“So, if I’m understanding this right,” All Might said carefully, “you need my help going back to school.”

Scrunching up his face, Shigaraki grumbled, “Yes.”

All Might scratched his chin. “I’ll see what I can do, but it’s not like you can attend UA. You’re…”

Shigaraki pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know that. I wouldn’t want to go to that scrummy school anyways.” All Might raised an eyebrow, but Shigaraki wasn’t about to change what he said. “I need all the help I can get if anyone is even going to consider me. I’m a former villain, one of the worst Japan ever saw.”

“But you–”

“No,” Shigaraki cut in, holding up a hand. “There’s no point in sugarcoating it. I hurt a lot of people – and worse, much worse. It doesn’t matter if the League turned a new leaf and took out other villains. Nothing we did can make up for that, our fucked up childhoods either. It just made us more sympathetic in the end.” He dropped his hand on the table and tapped his fingers along the wood. “And I’m gonna need all the sympathy I can get if I’m gonna actually do shit with my life. I don’t like it, but I’ll take whatever I can get at this point.”

“Hence why you came to me,” All Might said.

“There is an exam I could take that would give me a certificate allowing me to apply to university, but…” Shigaraki rolled his shoulders in discomfort. This normal life felt so weird. He’d never worried about school before. As a kid, before his quirk manifested, he’d attended school, but he’d never gone to middle or high school. While in prison, he saw other convicted villains working to change that. They attended lessons, did work, the whole nine yards. Shigaraki had avoided all that, if only because it hadn’t seemed necessary.

Look at him now. The irony was not lost on him.

Back in prison and when he was younger, it had never occurred to him that he might need it or even want it. Those kids were stupid and pathetic. Obsessed with heroes and pampered by their idiotic parents, they didn’t know what the real world was like – how cruel it could be, how cold it truly was, how selfish it was. And as for the prisoners, well, they probably did have the right of it, but Shigaraki hadn’t really been thinking about how he could improve his life so much as just keep living.

“I’ll help you in whatever way I can,” All Might promised, his voice dripping with sincerity. It made Shigaraki’s stomach turn, but he simply nodded, unable to get the proper words out. “I can talk to some of my fellow teachers at UA. I’ve a feeling Aizawa might know more on the subject since he works with at risk youth these days.”

“Fantastic,” Shigaraki muttered dryly. “I’m on par with problematic kids.”

“Well,” All Might said with an amused smile, “you were one of those kids at one point.”

He had him there, so Shigaraki didn’t even try to argue that one. Had someone been around to guide him away from All for One’s lessons, he wouldn’t be here today. He also wouldn’t have Yukiko. He probably never would’ve known Touya, Iguchi, and the others – might not have ever crossed paths with Uraraka in any capacity.

All Might settled him with a look. “Is there anything else you–?”

“Hey, I’m back!” an all-too-familiar voice called from the front room. Shigaraki propped his elbow on the table and leaned forward to hide his face in his hand. “Sorry I couldn’t call. I kinda broke my phone in that last fight. I need to get better protection. My insurance is only gonna cover so much.”

Only one person could ramble that much without a response, which was confirmed with All Might waved and happily greeted, “Izuku! Welcome back! That was a quick trip.”

“I don’t think they really needed me if I’m being honest,” Midoriya said as he strode into the room, “but I’m always happy to help out.” He dropped a backpack on the ground. “Hey, Shigaraki. Where’s Mom–?” Midoriya whipped his head around to gawk at him, which only made Shigaraki want to sink further into the chair. “Shigaraki? What are you doing here? Not that you aren’t welcome, of course! Um, I just wasn’t, uh, expecting to see you…”

“I didn’t particularly want to be here if I’m being honest,” Shigaraki shot back, pulling his face out of his hand.

Instead of being insulted, Midoriya grinned. “You never fail to be extra prickly when you need help.”

Shigaraki scowled. “How could you–?”

“You wouldn’t be here willingly under your own terms if you didn’t.” Midoriya shrugged and swept around the kitchen table toward the kitchen. “Ah, Mom’s singing in the kitchen, which must mean…” He disappeared into the room, but he was still loud enough to hear. “There she is! Proof that Shigaraki has a heart!”

“Hey!” Shigaraki snapped.

Midoriya poked his head out of the kitchen, the grin on his face decidedly cheekier. “Is she not?”

“Ugh, I hate this so much,” Shigaraki grumbled. And he really hated being wrong.

A minute later, Midoriya returned from the kitchen, half of an onigiri stuffed in his mouth. He held out another one to Shigaraki, who once again turned away food. “Suit yourself,” Midoriya said, dropping into the chair next in between him and All Might. “So, do you know if Uraraka was working today? I was gonna see if she wanted to meet up for dinner later – unless you two have plans, of course.”

“She’s on swing shifts for the week,” Shigaraki replied without thinking.

“Ooh, that sucks,” Midoriya said, wrinkling his nose. He leaned forward and held out his hand. “Can I borrow your phone so I can text her?”

“Yeah–” Shigaraki was halfway into reaching for his phone when he stopped and returned his sharp gaze to Midoriya, narrowing his eyes. “What are you trying to do here?”

Midoriya tilted his head oh-so innocently. “Uh, text Uraraka?” When Shigaraki glared at him further, he huffed and shook his head. “Listen, I’m not trying to secretly find out how close you two are or look through your texts. Delete the chat backlog if you want. I mean, it is...sweet that you know her schedule.”

“It isn’t–”

Laughter burst from Midoriya, and he waved a hand frantically in the air. “Sorry, it was too easy.”

Shigaraki dropped back in the chair. He really hated how comfortable these idiots were with teasing him. Midoriya was a far cry from their confrontation at the mall back when he was in high school, but it hadn’t taken him long before he shot back with his own smart remarks. He’d only gotten worse with age. Now that they were both full-fledged adults, Deku with his flourishing career as the greatest hero ever and Shigaraki with his...running for best villain turned single father of the year award.

“I haven’t noticed as many, uh, articles floating around recently,” Midoriya said carefully, moving to hold out his hand again. “That’s a good thing, right?”

Frowning, Shigaraki pulled his phone out, unlocked it, and then handed it over. “No, we’ve been keeping a low profile if we go out, but luckily those pea brains have short attention spans.”

“That does help,” Midoriya said while he quickly shot a text, holding the phone so that Shigaraki could see the screen and know what he was typing. “There’s always a new scandal to talk about.”

A sharp smile crossed Shigaraki’s face. “Heroes are good at that.”

“I won’t deny it,” Midoriya admitted, a more serious expression falling over his face as he stared down at the phone. “I fought for there to be more transparency when it came to heroes, although it came at a cost of some privacy, but if we’re going to be servants to the public, then we can’t hide behind our personas and good deeds.”

“A little too late for many,” Shigaraki said, unable to stop himself from taking a stab.

“I’m sure Shouto and Touya would agree with you,” Midoriya replied without missing a beat, meeting his gaze evenly.

All Shigaraki could do was nod his head. As much as they didn’t get along, as much as they had fought, as much as Shigaraki swore he still loathed him, he had to admit that Midoriya was a damn good hero. Maybe it wasn’t the hero bit that tripped him up so much. Midoriya was a good person. He’d worked harder than any hero to change how heroes were perceived and treated by the public.

“Ah, Uraraka already responded.” After reading through the text and sending another one back, Midoriya propped his elbow on the table and leaned the side of his face in his hand, a faint grin back on his face. “Care to join us for dinner tonight? My mom and All Might can watch Yukiko.”

Shigaraki practically bolted out of the chair, shoving it away from the table and standing up. “And on that note, I’m out. This is too much.”

Midoriya laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess it is.” He held out the phone, which Shigaraki snatched from him and shoved into his back pocket. Inko returned to the room to hand Yukiko back to him. She had a cookie stuffed in her mouth and another one in her hand. Spoiled brat. She was so conniving, always managing to get treats from people wherever they want. “I’ll tell Uraraka you said hi.”

Shigaraki shook his head. “Whatever.”

“And I’ll look into what we discussed,” All Might added.

Not wanting to talk about it around Midoriya – although no doubt All Might would tell him anyways – Shigaraki simply waved a hand, grabbed his backpack, and walked out of the apartment. It had been hard enough talking about school with All Might. He didn’t want to deal with Midoriya’s intense positivity and bright enthusiasm. It was a pain, and he could only handle so much from All Might.

A buzz in his pocket pulled his attention away as he clambered down the stairs, and Shigaraki pulled his phone out to reveal a text from Uraraka.

So, hanging out with Deku without me? ;)

Shigaraki gritted his teeth. He wasn’t even going to dignify that joke with a response. So much for being kind.

Chapter 39: When the shit hits the fan

Notes:

I've been excited about this arc for at least a year, maybe longer. :):)

Chapter Text

Things had been too quiet, but Shigaraki had gotten so used to the lull of civilian life that it slipped his mind. He’d definitely lost his edge. If not, he would’ve known something was up, and life was about to get very rocky.

His first clue should’ve been when he realized Yukiko was still asleep this morning after he’d finished getting ready for work. Normally, she either woke up before his alarm went off or when he was in the middle of getting ready, which was so routine by now that it was a part of his routine. He rarely did things on his own or he waited until she was asleep. This morning, however, he had to pull her out of bed. She was groggy and cranky, a far cry from her usual morning self.

Then, a fourth of the way through her breakfast, she puked all over herself and him. Well, that was great.

One phone call to work and another to her pediatrician later, he took her to the doctor, waiting over an hour to find out that she had an ear infection. Why something wrong with her ear led her to puke straight out of The Exorcist, he didn’t know – maybe something to do with her equilibrium being off – but he received a prescription for antibiotics and then shuffled off to the pharmacy to get medicine and Pedialyte. He canceled plans to hang out with Kaminari later and texted Uraraka, who was quick to ask if he needed anything, and then settled in for a long day.

Honestly, besides that first time getting sick, Yukiko wasn’t so bad. She had a minor fever and didn’t have much of an appetite, but she still played with her toys, albeit a little sluggish. Her afternoon nap was longer, but she was fussy, so he’d laid in his bed with her until she crashed, only to fall asleep as well. He woke up two hours later, not knowing what the hell happened, with her sprawled out like a starfish still conked out. Wary of how she might feel the next day, he was forced to call off work the next day with Makino finding one of the guys to come in for him.

This was shit. He hated it when she was sick. He didn’t know what to do. Logically, he knew there was very little he could do. He gave her medicine, kept her hydrated, dealt with her getting sick, and then made sure she slept. Since she was running a fever, he gave her a cool bath, which she seemed to enjoy, but she wasn’t nearly as excited as she usually was when she played in the water. She was content, but not as happy as she could’ve been, and he didn’t like it one bit.

He wanted her healthy. He wanted her better now .

By day three, her fever was gone. Not only was she more energetic, but she was incredibly eager to eat. He was pretty sure she would’ve tried to gnaw on his fingers if he got too close – and that shit hurt now that she actually had teeth. Little monster. He was still wary of leaving her, but he couldn’t take off three days in a row, and she seemed fine, so he dropped her off at daycare and went back to work. So distracted by his thoughts about Yukiko while he opened, he didn’t catch how anxious Makino was when she came in an hour later.

“Uh, Shimura?”

“Yeah?” Shigaraki didn’t even look up from where he was reorganizing a shelf. Who the hell had closed last night? He’d say he was going to strangle them, but that was probably in bad form. He didn’t have time to deal with this shit. Well, he did, seeing as how they weren’t opening for another ten minutes

“Um…”

The hesitation and nervousness in her voice were enough to pull him out of his distracted thoughts, so he stood up and turned to face her. She stood in front of him, fiddling with her fingers and struggling to decide where to look. Clearly, something was wrong. Makino hadn’t acted like this since she first talked to him about who he was.

“Did you wanna go home early or something?” Shigaraki asked flatly.

Makino’s eyes snapped to his. “Wha–? No! Well, I don’t–” She cut herself off and took a deep breath. “Someone, um, came looking for you the other day.”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. “Someone came here for me?”

“Yeah, and I saw them yesterday too. I only noticed because I was fixing the window display and saw them across the street, but they didn’t come in.”

That was certainly suspicious. He didn’t like it. “Did they give a name?”

Makino shook his head. “No, but they used your...other name when asking for you.”

Shigaraki lifted a hand to scratch his neck but then switched it to his chin at the last second. He hadn’t felt the urge in a while, so he didn’t know why it came back to him now. All for One had always said that self-destructive behavior always came about when he was repressing a violent urge. Years of proper therapy had taught him otherwise, but it was hard to get that man’s words out of his head completely.

“What did they look like?” Shigaraki asked. “Was he wearing a ridiculous hat or did he speak in an overly dramatic manner?” She shook her head, so that was a no on Sako. He’d doubted Sako would show up here anyway. It was too public. His apartment made better sense. “Did he have a scar on his forehead, straight down the middle?”

“No,” Makino answered, shaking her head again, “but he was very big.”

Could it be–?

“But not as big as that one guy that you, uh, fought, the one that used to be on your team,” Makino added. “He was more normal-looking too – just really tall with thin brown hair and I think yellow eyes.”

Shigaraki stared at her. “Gigantomatchia. I’m surprised you remembered that.”

Makino shrugged. “I mean, I was a kid and in school when you were, you know, a villain or vigilante. The League was all over the news. We talked about you all a lot, and he was kinda noticeable.”

Okay, so it wasn’t any of his former comrades. There was a possibility that it was Toga, but he had a feeling it wasn’t. She was supposed to be doing really well since she’d received therapy and had been taught how to control her quirk’s urges. Last he’d heard in a letter, she was excited about getting out and was even considering uni, like he was now, so he didn’t know what would prompt her to seek him out without a word.

Folding his arms across his chest, Shigaraki asked, “What exactly did they say?”

“Uh, well, when he walked in, he came straight to the desk,” Makino started, tugging on her ponytail. “I thought maybe he had a return because he looked kinda mad. Maybe he didn’t like the game he bought, something wasn’t working, or a used game was glitching. But then he asked if you were here.”

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. “And?”

“I said you weren’t here,” Makino continued. “He asked when you would be back, and I told him I didn’t know – that you were on vacation and I didn’t know your schedule.” Shigaraki snorted, and she gave him a weak, humorless smile. “I wasn’t about to give out your personal information, but I didn’t really know what to say.”

“No, that was perfect,” Shigaraki told her.

Makino let out a relieved breath. “Good because honestly I was kinda freaking out? He wasn’t happy when I didn’t tell him what he wanted, and he got pissed. I thought he might knock over a display, but he just called me ‘useless’ and then stormed out of here.”

“You’re one of the least useless people I know,” Shigaraki said honestly, although he wasn’t entirely focused on what he was saying. His comment helped her loosen up.

“Do you know him?” Makino asked.

Shigaraki shook his head. “Not offhand with this description, but I might if I saw him.”

“Do you think…?” Makino sucked in a deep breath. “Do you think he was…?”

“A villain?” Shigaraki finished for her. She bit her lip and nodded. “Maybe, but it’s hard to say. It could be someone recently released, someone never caught, maybe even a relative of a villain. I made very few friends and a fuck ton of enemies in those days.”

Makino let go of her braid so she could swipe her bangs out of her rather pale face. It must’ve been terrifying for her – that unknown of who exactly she’d spoken to, what their intentions her, what they would’ve done to her had they known she was lying. He peered at her out of the corners of his eyes as she wandered behind the counter and dropped into the seat as if unable to stand any longer.

“You okay?” Shigaraki asked.

“I guess,” Makino said in a detached voice. “I mean, nothing bad happened. It was just weird. I didn’t even think it was scary until I saw him the next day like he was staking out the place.”

“Yeah, someone acting that suspicious probably isn’t here with the best of intentions.” Shigaraki tapped his fingers along his arm. “There’s a chance he’ll be back today, but since you didn’t give him any good info, he might consider it a waste of time and just try again later.”

A strange, weak laugh escaped Makino. “Cool.” He gave her a weird look, arching an eyebrow, and she ducked her head in embarrassment. “Sorry, it’s just– I didn’t go to hero school or anything like that. I got average grades at an average school and didn’t even go to uni. I’m boring . I’ve never like...talked to a bad guy before.”

“You talk to me all the time,” Shigaraki pointed out flatly.

“It’s not the same,” Makino insisted. “You’re you. You’re not a villain anymore.”

Maybe not, but he had killed people. She shouldn’t let that slide so easily, even if it did make it better to work with her. Still, now was not the time to scold her on being too nice. She’d at least had the sense not to give out any personal information about him, even if it would’ve been the safest option for her.

“You did good,” Shigaraki said. “Not many people would’ve been able to handle their cool like that.”

Makino gave him the hand signal for okay, almost mocking him for his positive and uplifting remarks. Yeah, he could understand that. It sounded weird coming from him. Had it been from someone like Fuyumi, Uraraka, or Midoriya, it would’ve made a lot more sense.

“Okay, if he comes in or you see him again and I’m not around, here’s what you do.” Shigaraki walked over to the front of the counter. They should’ve turned on the open sign by now, but he didn’t care. This came first. If word got back to their boss that strange people were coming around looking for him, he’d definitely lose his job, but he also didn’t want to put Makino in more danger. “You go to the backroom and call me. If there are no customers here, stay back there and don’t come out. If there are, text me and then do your business with them as fast as possible.”

“Why not the police?” Makino asked.

“Because then he’ll know you called them and might lash out,” Shigaraki explained. “I don’t want to spook him.”

“What are you gonna do though?” Makino frowned and pointed at his gloved hands. “You’re on parole, aren’t you? If you use your quirk…”

“I’ll figure something out,” Shigaraki told her. He didn’t know what, but he would think of something. She wasn’t wrong. Before, he would’ve taken out a threat like this himself no problem. All it took was a single touch. He did not let people threaten him like this. However, as a civilian and a paroled felon, he was under strict rules to never use his quirk in public. If he so much as toed that line, Yukiko would be taken from him, and he’d be tossed back in prison with the key thrown away.

But he’d be damned if he let some fucking bastard threaten anyone in his life. Civilian or not, he’d figure out a way to neutralize them. He might not be a villain or vigilante anymore, but he wasn’t about to lie down and show his belly. That guy was in for one hell of a rude awakening if he thought that.

Shigaraki glanced at Makino, who was chewing on her nails. “Makino…” She snapped her eyes up to his, pulling her nails out of her mouth as if she’d just realized what she was doing. “If you’re too scared, it’s...okay. You said it yourself: you weren’t taught how to handle things like this. You’re a civilian. You shouldn’t have to deal with my villain past bullshit.”

“It’s okay,” Makino insisted – but he could hear the lie in her voice plain as day.

“No, it’s not.” Shigaraki huffed. “I shouldn’t be asking you to do things like this. It’s dangerous. I don’t think you’ll get hurt, but…” He took a deep breath. “I was that guy before. I was worse than that guy – far worse. If it’s too much, you can go home. I’ll work on my own or I can switch you to night shift – a slot away from me.”

But Makino shook her head. “No! I mean, you’re really not asking me to do much. I just have to do my job and call you if I see him. If you hadn’t said that, I probably would’ve called the cops, so it’s really not different.” She brightened, sitting upright and beaming tremulously. “Plus, I’m a girl working in a customer service industry primarily dominated by men, who are usually assholes or creepers. I can handle this.”

She looked confident – she even sounded confident – but she was a good kid. She couldn’t hide the fear in her eyes. It made him sick, to the point where he had to turn away, nodding to himself. Years ago, that was the look he had sought to instill in people. He wanted them to fear him. He couldn’t understand how people could go about their daily lives as if their world couldn’t be taken from them in an instant. It infuriated them. He wanted them to go to work in terror, wanted them to have nightmares like him, wanted them to worry if they were strong or brave enough.

And now he saw all of that in Makino, and he hated it and himself and All for One so goddamn much .

With nothing left to do or say, he swallowed down that rage and opened the store, sending Makino to the back to check inventory. Since there was no one in the store this early in the morning unless there was a new release, he sat behind the counter and took out his phone, pulling up Touya’s contact information. After making sure no one was around, he sent him a quick text.

Got an emergency. We need to talk.

Despite it being early in the morning, Touya responded back almost immediately: Sounds serious

Shigaraki couldn’t tell if Touya was being sarcastic or not, but he didn’t care, shooting back, It is. We’ve got an unknown and most likely unwanted visitor.

Shit. We expected something like this eventually but still. Fuck. Well, that changed Touya’s tune very quickly.

You working tonight?

Yeah. I can see if Fuyumi will watch Yukiko for an hour or two. She’s been griping about missing her.

Sounds good. Let me know asap.

Shigaraki stuffed his phone back in his pocket and peered out the window. Despite being early in the morning, there were a few people wandering the sidewalks. No one seemed suspicious, as far as he could tell. Hopefully, whoever it was wouldn’t show up today, but he knew that he’d be tense the entire shift, watching, waiting. The thought to ask Uraraka to pick up Yukiko now crossed his mind, but no, he couldn’t panic. The man hadn’t hurt or flipped out on Makino, so he probably wouldn’t force his way to kidnap a kid. It seemed like he was trying not to make a scene.

At least not until he had what he wanted in his sight.

Shit.

*

After dropping Yukiko off at Fuyumi’s apartment (with the very lame excuse that he wanted a night off after being cooped up with her for three days), Shigaraki went to Touya’s bar. It was probably convoluted and pointless since he didn’t plan on getting drunk, but he took the van back home and then used the train. The packed cars would make it difficult for him to be followed, but, in his opinion, easier for him to spot someone following him.

Was he being paranoid? Maybe. But he hadn’t managed to live this long without a little paranoia.

The shadiness of Touya’s bar provided the perfect cover. A Wednesday night rarely included anyone outside of the regulars, none of whom would be pleasant or welcoming to a newcomer asking questions. Plus, though Makino’s description wasn’t much, Shigaraki gave it to him so he could keep a lookout. It stood that if someone was looking for Shigaraki, they would eventually find their way to Touya. That was how Sako had found him, right?

As soon as Shigaraki stepped into the bar, Touya poured him a beer and placed it at the end of the bar, the perfect spot to see both the entrance and exit. “Have fun looking over your shoulder all day?”

“A blast,” Shigaraki grumbled as he slid onto the stool. “Anyone suspicious?”

“Just the usual suspects,” Touya said, waving a hand at the few customers in the bar. “And you’re sure it wasn’t maybe Toga using a disguise?”

Shigaraki shook his head. “No, it was part of her therapy to remain herself – she was really adamant about figuring more about her own identity – and, you know, she can’t just steal people’s blood anymore.”

“Well, we’re all just getting help to be model citizens.” Touya frowned, folding his arms across his chest. “That doesn’t leave a lot of good people on our list – if any. I highly doubt anyone would seek one of us out to thank us for our good deeds. We weren’t exactly the nicest of people when we were considered vigilantes.”

“No, we weren’t.” Shigaraki picked up the beer and took an uncomfortably large gulp. “We knew this would probably happen. It makes sense that someone has come sniffing about now. With my picture plastered in all those shitty magazines, I’ve been exposed again. Not to mention…”

“A baby makes you look weak,” Touya finished for him. “You’ve got a soft spot, you’re not in the position to be able to fight back, and even if you did, you’re at a disadvantage since you’ve been out of the game for so long.”

Shigaraki shot him a flat glare. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“No problem,” Touya quipped, giving him a quick flippant grin. “I mean, we all know that last one is bullshit. You might be a little rusty, but I doubt that instinct to fight will ever go away – especially not with Yukiko being threatened.”

No fucking shit. It would’ve been one thing if it was just him on his own. He wouldn’t give much of a rat’s ass outside of maybe exposing Fuyumi to danger. Touya would move out if it came to that or she could stay with one of their brothers if it was really serious. But it wasn’t just them anymore. There was a goddamn baby involved. If someone was threatening his life, Yukiko’s was in danger too, and it infuriated him. If only the fucking media hadn’t poked their noses in his business. They could have potentially put her life on the line.

“Think it could maybe be a reporter trying to get an inside scoop?” Touya asked. “I bet someone would get paid a pretty penny for that story.”

Shigaraki tapped his finger on the side of the glass. “It’s a possibility.”

“But you’re not getting that vibe.”

“You should’ve seen Makino,” Shigaraki said, staring down into his drink. “We would’ve enjoyed the hell out of that back in the day.”

Touya blew out some air. “Okay, yeah, it was a villain. Former or not, they’re not here to be friends.” He unfolded his arms and turned around to pour another beer. After taking a large drink, he set it down behind the bar. Instead of getting onto him like usual, Shigaraki said nothing, merely watching Touya as he processed the information. “Got any ideas who it might be?”

“Not anything conclusive,” Shigaraki grumbled. “This guy’s a ghost as of now.”

“At least he doesn’t sound like someone who fits in easily,” Touya said. “If Makino was able to spot him, then surely our paranoid asses would too.”

There was that at least. While quirks could make people larger than normal, this guy seemed above even that. He might not have been on Gigantomatchia’s level, but… He would still pose a problem. If only they could fight back, this would be so much easier to deal with. He caught Touya flexing his fingers – knew he was fighting back the urge to light his fingertips in aggravation – but said nothing. Which one of them had more control over themselves and their quirks? It was hard to say at this point.

“So what do we do?” Touya asked. “I’m not particularly inclined to wait around. I don’t wanna drag Fuyumi into shit.”

“I don’t either,” Shigaraki said. After taking another drink of his beer, he slammed the almost half-empty glass down on the counter. “Okay, if he’s looking for me, chances are he’ll try to go through my associates. Maybe he knows we’re still in contact with each other; maybe he doesn’t. But he could still try to go through someone to get to me. Call Iguchi and ask if he’s noticed anyone suspicious matching the description.”

Touya nodded, already pulling out his phone. “Out of all of us, he’s the easiest to find.”

“I’ve got an emergency number for Sako,” Shigaraki added. “I’ve never used it, but he said that he kept an ear close to the ground to stay safe. He might know something if someone has been asking questions about us.”

“If someone knows something, it’s probably him.” Touya sent off a quick text, presumably to Iguchi, and then slid his phone back into his pocket. “Now, here’s the real question we’ve been avoiding.” Placing his forearms on the counter, he leaned forward and asked, “Do we tell the heroes?”

Shigaraki grimaced and looked back down into his drink. Touya was right: he had been avoiding that very question. When Himura had handed him Yukiko and told him she was a murderer on the run, he’d called the police. He had needed her out of the way and didn’t want her around. She had to go – for Yukiko’s sake and his. He couldn’t get dragged into her villainous bullshit, not when he was trying to, well, not be a villain. Now, he was trying to be better, and he definitely couldn’t afford to slip up.

But he loathed the idea of going to the heroes for anything. It was one thing to receive help concerning fatherhood and Yukiko, but this was about his fucked up past self coming back to bite him in the ass. This was potentially a villain. Either way, it would look bad, and he hated it. He didn’t want these heroes thinking they had to protect him. He didn’t want anyone looking at him as someone that needed protection. This time, he couldn’t tell himself that it was for Yukiko’s sake – even though it partly was to keep her safe – not when it had to do solely with him and who he was.

This was his history turning back to haunt him.

This was only the tip of the iceberg that was the consequences of their actions.

This was on them and their ugly pasts, and no one could look over it anymore, least of all them and the heroes that put them on this so-called path of redemption in the first place.

“As much as I don’t want to pull him into this, Shouto would kill me if he found out I hid this from him,” Touya admitted, his voice a mixture between sheepish and irritated. “What good is it having the Number Two Hero for a little brother if I don’t take advantage of that every now and then, right?” He huffed out a breath. “But he’s still my brother, and I put him through a lot of fucked up shit as it is. I don’t want to go to him because I thought it was a great idea to become a villain and kill other villains and now that’s coming back around.”

Shigaraki gulped down more of the beer. “I don’t want to depend on them.”

“Definitely fucking not.” Touya pulled his arms off the bartop and stood up right. “But you know damn well that Uraraka would be pissed if you kept this from her.” Shigaraki grunted irritably. “It’s not just you. Yukiko is in danger too. She’s a fucking baby. She’s innocent. I’m pretty sure Uraraka would kick any villain’s ass into space if they tried to hurt her. She’s got that, you know” – Touya gestured vaguely – “mama bear instinct or whatever.”

Shooting Touya a glare, Shigaraki snapped, “She’s not–”

“Oh, c’mon, she kind of is,” Touya cut in, rolling his eyes. “She’s more of a parent to Yukiko than my father ever was to me – than yours or All for One was to you.”

That harsh truth sliced right through any argument Shigaraki might’ve had, utterly defeating him. He sank in his seat, hunching his shoulders, and finished his drink despite the uncomfortable way it settled in his stomach. He wasn’t going to get drunk – definitely not with someone out there looking for him – but damn if he didn’t need this edge taken off just a little. He wanted to disintegrate the glass in his hand, gripping it tightly, which Touya must’ve noticed since he swiped the empty glass from him.

Shigaraki tapped the bartop with his finger. “I guess I could tell Kaminari and...Midoriya.”

Touya flipped a beer tap open to pour another drink. “Pro Hero Deku: your personal DD and bodyguard.”

Choosing to ignore that little quip, Shigaraki continued, “And I’m not telling All Might personally, but it wouldn’t hurt to tell Detective Tsukauchi. He might actually be able to find something – look up records of anyone we screwed over who’s been recently released.”

“Wow,” Touya mused as he set the beer down, “it’s like we’re solving a mystery. Working with the heroes. Coming up with a plan to take down a bad guy. Makes us sound good, doesn’t it?”

“This guy is probably looking for me because I killed someone,” Shigaraki pointed out flatly.

Touya shrugged. “I said it makes us sound good – not that we are good.” He dug his hands into his pockets and leaned back against the backbar. “We hurt a lot of people – as villains and vigilantes. Hell, I’m sure we’ve fucked some people over as civilians. That’s just who we are. We can try to be better all we want – we can do better – but we can’t change who we are completely. I’m never gonna be a model citizen like Fuyumi, a good man like Natsuo, or a hero like Shouto. It’s not in me.”

And it wasn’t in Shigaraki either. He’d done too much awful shit to ever be a savior like Midoriya or a good fucking human being like Uraraka. He wasn’t innocent like Yukiko, but his consequences shouldn’t be hers too. He had to make sure that she wasn’t hurt or involved, no matter what.

“But I’m not allowing any of my siblings or my mom to be put in danger because I was a bastard,” Touya said firmly. “If I have to put aside the last remaining bit of my dignity and pride to keep them safe, I’ll do it.”

Shigaraki eyed him and raised an eyebrow. “Even if it means contacting your old man?”

Touya grimaced and looked away, but he didn’t deny it either. Damn. He really was serious about this. He hadn’t spoken willingly to his father in at least a year. Then again… Taking a deep breath, Shigaraki pulled his phone out and set it on the bartop. This was going to suck .

Chapter 40: We're all in this together!

Notes:

So I wasn't planning on updating this chapter tonight, but then I wrote over 6k in one day, so uh, well, here you go. Also, I don't know what the hell happened in that last scene, but the characters took over, and I was just the writer.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“So I’ve got some info,” Kaminari chirped on the other end of the phone.

Shigaraki raised an eyebrow, pushing open the door to his apartment with his shoulder. “That was quick.”

“I’ve got a good friend in the underground hero circuit, and they tend to hear more than we do, so I figured it would be a good idea to reach out to them,” Kaminari explained brightly. “He wasn’t really gung-ho to help you out, but he was intrigued and he owed me, so he agreed.”

Huh, that was a good idea. Shigaraki had done much the same when he’d contacted Sako via his emergency number three days ago, although he had yet to hear back from him. Maybe the number was no longer active. With no other way to contact Sako, all Shigarki could do was wait and see if he responded – and try not to think about the idea that the reason there had been no response was because Sako was no longer able to reply. If he still had any ties to villains, then maybe…

No, he wasn’t going to think about it. Sako was smart. He’d managed to evade the authorities for this long. He wouldn’t let a villain take him out now that he was retired or whatnot.

After his conversation with Touya, Shigaraki had bit the bullet and messaged both Kaminari and Uraraka about the situation. Somehow, Kaminari had been the calmest of the two, although he wasn’t sure if calm was the right word. He hadn’t been angry like Uraraka, at least. That had been...unexpected – to him, at least. Touya had been smirking very smugly while listening in on Shigaraki’s phone call with her. She’d been loud enough for him to hear as well. In the end, she had told Midoriya so he wouldn’t have to, and then he reached out to Detective Tsukauchi.

So far, there hadn’t been any updates. No shady figures had shown up at work either, as far as Makino knew. As much as he disliked the fact that she’d been scared and put in such an uncomfortable situation, he knew that he’d been lucky that this guy had shown up while she was working. Anyone else would’ve probably given his information without a second thought or in hopes of even getting rid of him. She hadn’t even told their boss about it.

He really did have people looking out for him aside from a few close companions. It was decidedly weird.

“So did your friend find out anything?” Shigaraki prompted, setting Yukiko in her crib for a moment while he searched the apartment. He wouldn’t say that he was being overly paranoid in making sure no one was hiding in his place before letting her freely walk around, but… He couldn’t be too careful.

“Not a lot, to be honest – he’s still gathering intel – but he did say that your name has been floating around in circles again,” Kaminari continued. It made sense. He’d been gone from the public eye for so long. Now that the media had outed him, he would be an interesting topic. After all, at one point, he’d essentially been one of the greatest villains of all time, and now he was buckling a baby in the back of a minivan. It must’ve been so funny. “I guess people are curious how you ended up, well…”

“So domestic?” Shigaraki finished dryly.

Kaminari coughed. “A bit, yeah. I mean, it is weird if you think about it.”

“It’s weird even if you don’t think about it,” Shigaraki pointed out. “I hurt a lot of people – as much, much worse.”

“Yeah, yeah, you were the Big Bad,” Kaminari said. No need to be so dismissive about it. He had been. “It’s not been one person asking around about you though. A lot of villains are talking. Most assume you’re out of the game and, you know, have lost your edge.” Had he? Maybe so, but he didn’t want villains to think that and get the idea that they could do something about it. “Some are wondering if this is some sort of cover or if you’ll get back into villainy.”

Shigaraki made a face. “A cover?”

“I feel like there are easier ways to pretend you’re on the straight and narrow than having a kid, but I could be wrong.”

Children did make people look softer, although he knew that wasn’t always the case. It wasn’t like Endeavor had been a nicer and better person after becoming a father. If anything, he’d become even more of a bastard. Overhaul had pretended to have a kid too, and he had definitely been an asshole. Himura hadn’t gone on the right path after getting pregnant and having Yukiko. And Shigaraki knew from personal experience that being a parent didn’t automatically make someone a good person or even a decent human being.

That was a choice. He had to choose every day to be good – to be better than he’d been before – and it wasn’t always an easy decision.

Satisfied with his apartment check, Shigaraki returned to Yukiko’s room and took her out of the crib, setting her down on the ground to play with her toys. “Any idea on who started asking around first?”

“No, because you’re still a common topic,” Kaminari admitted. “It wasn’t that long ago when you were a huge deal as both a villain and vigilante.”

“Glad I’m still notorious,” Shigaraki muttered.

“I wouldn’t say notorious,” Kaminari replied, “but no one has come close to your level since…”

Since All for One was defeated. He’d done his part – a larger part than he was comfortable admitting – but he had Midoriya to mostly thank for that. Actually, he never had thanked him – and probably never would. They spoke about him briefly after Shigaraki’s trial but before he’d been given an official sentencing, but that was years ago, and it had been vague. It was strange. Out of everyone, it honestly would’ve helped him to talk with Midoriya about it, but he couldn’t. He could barely manage it with his therapist, and his lawyer had dragged it out of him.

“Right.” Shigaraki leaned against the threshold of Yukiko’s bedroom, watching her play. “Keep me updated.”

“Copy that!”

Shigaraki ended the call and slid his phone into his back pocket. Folding his arms across his chest, he continued to silently watch as Yukiko began to pull out every toy on her shelf. He used to put them back every time until he decided it was useless and only picked up once a week. Her toys spent more time on the ground than they did being played with or put up, but she seemed to prefer it that way, giggling and babbling to herself as she made even more of a mess.

He took a shallow breath. It was so damn innocent. He couldn’t let her lose this. He’d never wanted to protect something or someone so much in his life.

Knocking on his door snapped him out of his thoughts, forcing him to turn around and narrow his eyes. Before he could ask who it was, Uraraka’s voice called out on the other side, “Hey, it’s me!”

Ah, right, she was coming over to watch Yukiko so he could go to his therapy session. He’d forgotten about it after his conversation with Kaminari. After checking through the peephole to make sure it was her (not that that mattered since he knew firsthand that appearances weren’t always confirmation), he opened the door and greeted, “You’re early.”

“Am I?” Uraraka asked as she swept inside.

He raised his eyebrow, surprised that she was still in her hero uniform. Besides the news and magazines, he hadn’t seen her wear it since the night they first crossed paths after Yukiko had been dropped into his lap. It was like she went out of her way to make sure she didn’t wear it around him, as if he’d get disgruntled over the reminder that she was a hero.

Upon noticing the way he was looking at her, Uraraka glanced down and seemingly realized that she was still in her uniform. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t even think–” Her cheeks burned pinker than normal. He couldn’t understand why she’d be embarrassed. It wasn’t like he’d never seen her wear it before. “I didn’t go back to the agency after I left the police station. I came straight here. I didn’t even think about it. But I’ve got a change of clothes in my car!”

“I don’t care,” Shigaraki told her. “That thing just looks uncomfortable.”

Uraraka twisted her body slightly as if to show off her uniform’s flexibility. “It’s really not.”

His eyes almost dropped dangerously low when she did that, and he snapped them back up to her face. He wasn’t a dimwitted pervert like Kaminari. Okay, that wasn’t completely fair. He was much better about that since graduating high school.

Clearing his throat, Shigaraki asked, “You came from the police station?”

“Yeah, I had to drop some total asshole off to get detained,” Uraraka explained breezily like it was normal. Well, he supposed it was normal for her to drop criminals and villains off if the police didn’t arrive at the scene. “But while I was there, I ran into Detective Tsukauchi.” She waved a folder in the air. “He had a list of people of interest that might be looking for you, and I offered to take it to you since I–”

Shigaraki snatched the folder out of her hands without letting her finish. Uraraka made a face at him, but she didn’t complain out loud about his rude behavior. Instead, she rolled her eyes and made her way to Yukiko’s bedroom. As he flipped through the pages, he could distantly hear her playing and talking with Yukiko, but his mind was solely focused on the report that Tsukauchi had detailed for him. No doubt the detective had told All Might about the situation. He gave it one more day until the old hero broke and called him about it.

When he reached the fourth page, Shigaraki stopped, the name and picture at the top of the file staring up at him. It took everything in him not to lay down his last finger and disintegrate the page.  “Oh, fuck. Seriously?”

Uraraka peeked out of the bedroom, leaning back from her spot on the floor. “What is it? I haven’t read it yet. I figured you’d want to comb through it first.” He waved her over, and she pulled herself to her feet. She’d taken off her wrist gauntlets and thin boots, padding over to him barefoot and taking the folder from him. The moment her eyes landed on the page, her face dropped. “They really released him and didn’t tell us?”

“To be fair, he only killed one hero and the rest were deemed unimportant or unknown,” Shigaraki pointed out. “Unlike me.” Uraraka’s eyes flickered up to his, harder than he expected, and then back down to the page. “He was also better behaved in prison. I wasn’t bad, per say, but I might’ve gotten into a few fights. Couldn’t be helped.”

“Well, of course he was better behaved,” Uraraka muttered. “He didn’t have any hands for the first year or so.”

It had been a while since he’d thought about Kai Chisaki, which was foolish when he should’ve been at the top of the list. Overhaul had been one of the first villains he’d royally screwed over – admittedly an understatement, considering what he and the League had done to him and his crew. Dark hair, golden eyes, intimidating. Makino’s description of him mostly fit, but she’d also said the man was big. If anything, Chisaki looked like he’d lost some definition while in prison. He’d suffered the same fate while Touya had actually broadened out since he wasn’t overdoing his quirk.

Shigaraki pointed at a line on the page, one that made him particularly uneasy. “It says he had reconstructive surgery on his hands and his quirk was remodeled. That might be how he was able to disguise himself somewhat. When Makino told me his size, I didn’t even think about him.”

“But…” Uraraka furrowed. “Wasn’t his quirk based in his hands, like ours?”

“Quirks evolve,” Shigaraki said distractedly, scanning the document for more information. It was frustratingly sparse considering how many years Chisaki had spent in prison. He’d actually gotten out before Shigaraki, but then he had been in prison years before as well. And like he’d said, the only person they cared about was Nighteye. The heroes and authorities hadn't given a shit about Magne. There were plenty of charges on his file, but one stood out to him clear as day now.

Child abuse, endangerment, and neglect.

Shigaraki flexed his hands and fingers, trying to loosen the tension in them. The urge to destroy something or scratch his neck was building up inside of him, but he shoved it down as much as he could. It was harder than usual, even with Yukiko babbling happily in her room. He thought of Himura pulling Yukiko out of a duffle bag. She was bigger and so different now, but he could still picture it like it was yesterday. And Chisaki slicing open a kid, unraveling her at the seams, and then bringing her back. He saw Yukiko’s innocent red eyes and then Eri’s and…

“Hey,” Uraraka said softly, laying a hand on his arm. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Glancing down at her, Shigaraki grunted irritably. “I know. I’m not scared of him.”

A smile tugged at Uraraka’s lips. “I didn’t say you were.” She looked back at Yukiko’s room. “But it’s okay to be scared for her. You beat him before, but things are different now. You’re more vulnerable than ever before.”

Shigaraki wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Vulnerable.”

“Well, you are ,” Uraraka told him. She was right, but he still didn’t like it. If he was attacked, he couldn’t fight back without serious repercussions. Not to mention fighting would be difficult while also keeping track of and protecting a one-year-old. Hadn’t Midoriya fought against Chisaki with Eri strapped to his back? Yeah, Shigaraki didn’t want to do that with Yukiko. No thanks. He wasn’t mad and feral any more. “But you’re also not alone. You’ve got people willing to help out and watch your back, people to–”

“Protect me?” Shigaraki interrupted bitterly.

Uraraka’s expression hardened. “ And Yukiko. Overhaul might have a perfectly good reason to seek revenge on you, seeing as how you ruined his operations, lopped his hands off, and forced him through years of surgery and physical therapy to regain use of his quirk–”

“In my defense,” Shigaraki cut in, “he was a dick and deserved it.”

“--but Yukiko is completely innocent in this,” Uraraka finished, ignoring his quip. “If you’re in danger, she’s in danger.” Okay, she was right about that as well. He should’ve remembered that arguing with her was pointless. When she was on a roll, there was little stopping her. “Besides, you’ve come so far. With Overhaul seeking you out… I don’t want you to feel pushed in a corner and do something that sets you back or you might regret.”

Shigaraki eyed her for a moment and then allowed a small grin to crawl onto his face. “Worried about me?”

Uraraka slapped his arm, keeping her pinky finger in the air. “Of course I’m worried.”

“I’m touched,” Shigaraki said dryly, “but I can take care of myself.”

“And that’s why you called me, Kaminari, and Tsukauchi?”

Turning around, Shigaraki pulled away from her and walked to the kitchen. “Well, I figured that was the easiest solution so no one would get mad at me. Plus, I had to alert the authorities. I don’t want it to look like I’m conspiring with a villain.”

“Just heroes?” Uraraka countered, planting her hands on her hips.

Shigaraki winced and hid in the fridge to avoid looking at her. “Must you remind me?”

It had been the right move. Both he and Touya had begrudged it, but they knew keeping this a secret would only bite them in the ass. They didn’t have the same resources to find out who was hunting them down and protect themselves as they did before. Their old tactics wouldn’t work. Like quirks, they had to evolve in order to survive this stupid ass civilian life.

Uraraka’s head popped over the top of the fridge door. “We’ll take care of him. I promise. It’s our job.”

Rolling his eyes, Shigaraki muttered, “Gee, thanks.”

“I will personally send him flying to the moon if he even tries to harm Yukiko,” Uraraka said in a falsely cheery voice. The smile on her face might’ve been considered bright if he didn’t notice how sharp it was too. For some reason, it made him feel better. He knew she wasn’t lying. It was her job to protect people from the bad guys, but she was especially protective of Yukiko. Even if something did happen to him, he was certain nothing would happen to her.

At least, he wanted to be certain. He knew life had a way of turning everything upside down, and even good people had bad things happen to them. All he could do was trust Uraraka on this.

It was a little easier than he expected.

*

Touya groaned deeply and threw his phone onto the couch. “This is bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” Shouto pointed out, ever so rudely. “You should’ve expected something like this.”

“I did!” Touya insisted, following his phone and plopping onto the couch. He threw an arm over his eyes and let out a frustrated huff. “I was just hoping it’d be later than sooner.”

“I’m surprised it took him this long to start hunting you down,” Shouto continued. “He was released before you and Shigaraki. According to the records I was able to get my hands on, he was up for parole and released for good behavior after getting approval from his therapist.”

“What about those dangerous ideals of his?” Touya griped.

“What about yours?”

Lifting his arm slightly, Touya opened one eye to glare at his little brother. When Shouto appeared unaffected by the minor threat, standing in the middle of the living room with his arms folded across his chest, Touya huffed again and dropped his arm back over his eyes. “I worked with my prison therapist in the end. I probably would’ve gotten out earlier had I cooperated more, but I didn’t lie, which I have a feeling Overhaul did. He’s smart.”

“Hm, yeah, you aren’t,” Shouto said.

Touya jerked upright on the couch. “Oi! I didn’t say that! I was being honest!”

Shouto gave him a flat look of disbelief. “Why do I feel like you’re stretching the truth about that?”

“Ugh, I’m upfront with you about this shitty situation, and this is what I get in return?” Touya griped. He might’ve deserved this treatment after what he put their family through, but it still wasn’t fun. “You’re such a little shit.”

“I’m bigger than you now,” Shouto pointed out.

“You’re a big shit then.”

They stared at each other for a moment, then sighed at the same time and looked away. So much time had been taken from them – so much time he’d later squandered – so it was kind of nice to feel like brothers sometimes. They might’ve been adults now, and they would never get their childhood back or erase all the bullshit that had happened, but Shouto was still his little brother. Touya would never say it out loud, but he liked acting like a big brother. He’d never really had that opportunity before.

Shouto cleared his throat. “So, Overhaul. I didn’t deal with him. I was in provisional hero license classes.”

“I bet Dad was peached about that.”

“I think he learned a lesson,” Shouto replied vaguely.

Touya made a noncommittal sound and moved on, not wanting to linger on the topic even though he’d brought it up. “To be honest, I didn’t really deal with him either. I just showed up at the end. Never even talked to the guy. He was placed in a different sector at Tartarus from us as well.”

As he thought to himself, Shouto folded his arms across his chest. “The records I found confirmed that his quirk was remodeled, but the notes were sparse. We know that he’s capable of using it again, but they don’t say to what extent. I don’t like that.”

“They likely didn’t know everything either,” Touya told him. Shouto gave him a curious look, and Touya shook his head. Oh, his dear, sweet, naive brother. He was a good kid and, while not the least bit trusting, he did still have faith in a system that had failed them. “I told them the basics of my quirk. I had to if I was gonna survive in there without spontaneously combusting or it eating away at me when I didn’t use it for long periods. Did I tell them every detail about it though? Of course not. I told them enough to get off my back. If I was someone with a fancy reworked quirk, I’d keep a few secrets, just in case.”

The frown on Shouto’s face was so close to a pout that Touya almost laughed. “So his quirk could be weaker or stronger or even different, and we wouldn’t know.”

Touya shrugged. “Probably. It’s what I would’ve done in his position, even if I didn’t want to get revenge.”

Shouto tapped his fingers along his bicep. “Do you think you’re in danger?”

“Overhaul or not, I think his main target is Shigaraki,” Touya said carefully, “but I wouldn’t put it past any villain to try to go through me to get to him. We’re known associates. It makes sense.”

Nodding to himself, Shouto murmured, “I thought as much.”

It was weird being this completely honest with each other, but Touya had to admit that it was for the best. He didn’t want to drag this shit out. He wanted it done and over with, and that meant not hiding anything. It was very unlike him. Hell, it was very unlike Shouto too. They didn’t do “open” unless it was melodramatic oversharing at random and inappropriate times.

“Do you think…?” Touya trailed off uncomfortably. Shouto glanced at him again. “Do you think I should move out? I don’t want Fuyumi to get caught up in this. She…”

She’d been scared since Touya had told her what was going on. Of course she pretended like she wasn’t, smiling and reassuring him it was fine, but he knew it wasn’t. He’d caught her hands shaking the other day when she was unlocking the door after a grocery run, and she’d yelped and dropped her mug on the ground when he unexpectedly stumbled into the kitchen at seven in the morning the other day. She had even been awake last night when he’d come home from work, sitting on the couch watching an old movie, and it had been far too late for her to be up on a school night.

“You can stay with me for a few weeks,” Shouto suggested. “I’ve got a spare room, and I’d welcome any villain to show up unannounced.”

“And leave Fuyumi alone? Natsuo? Mom?”

Shouto grimaced. “I guess...we could...ask Dad…”

Groaning once more, Touya flopped back on the couch. “I had a bad feeling this would happen.”

“An old enemy trying to attack you or Dad?”

“Both,” Touya grumbled.

He’d sworn to Shigaraki that he would do absolutely anything if it meant keeping his family safe. Once upon a time, that had been the most important thing in the world to him. He’d been near-strangers to them, torn away from his twin sister and left to be a shadow to his brothers, but when it had been Shouto’s turn, he had tried. He had wanted to keep them safe. He had wanted to protect them. He’d lost sight of that for a long time – lost sight of who he was and what he wanted, to the point where things got twisted – but now that he was here, he knew what was important again.

And it wasn’t his pride, rage, or pain.

Forget Shigaraki’s fury over some bastard endangering Yukiko. Touya was going to make whoever this person was suffer for forcing him to deal with his old man.

“So,” Touya prompted in an attempt to push all his thoughts aside, “how adorable was it that Shigaraki and Uraraka called me on speaker so they could both talk?”

The disgruntled look on Shouto’s face was almost good enough to help Touya forget everything. Almost.

*

After his therapy session, in which he spent the entire hour debating on whether or not to tell his therapist about what was going on (he...didn’t, but he would tell his probation officer), Shigaraki went to the store. It was strange having to run such simple errands like buy more rice and shit when there was a potential villain chasing him down, but life went on, as it had when he was a villain. Committing terrorist attacks and later acts of vigilantism hadn’t stopped the League from needing to eat, wash their clothes, or sleep.

There was always the normal stuff in between the fucked up shit.

By the time he got back home, Uraraka had magically managed to convince Yukiko to go to bed. It wasn’t even nine, and the little monster was already asleep. He didn’t know how Uraraka did it. She never went to sleep that early for him. Sako had said something about getting her on a routine, but so far, Shigaraki hadn’t gotten one completely down. Yukiko was so stubborn, a trait she’d no doubt inherited from him.

He really hoped she wasn’t anything like him.

“Thanks,” Shigaraki muttered as Uraraka helped him put up his groceries.

“No problem,” she quipped easily, putting away food in his cabinets.

“No, I–” Shigaraki paused and looked at her. She stopped and glanced back at him. She’d changed while he was gone, having grabbed her clothes from her car. Just shorts and a tank top. So normal, so domestic. Aside from the obvious muscles that made him think she could bench press him without the use of her quirk, she would’ve passed for just a civilian. “You’re going out of your way again. You need to stop that.”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “I’m not–”

“Yes, you are,” Shigaraki cut in. “Stop being so damn nice.”

“Stop being such an ass,” Uraraka shot back.

“I’m not being an ass,” Shigaraki told her hotly, stepping closer to her. “I’m just saying how it is.” She turned to face him and raised a challenging eyebrow at him. “What do you get out of this but more trouble? More work? A headache? Cognitive dissonance?”

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Oh, now that’s a fancy word.”

“I’m serious, Uraraka.” Shigaraki stopped when he was in front of her, pinning her place against the counter.

“And I am too,” she told him, just as heatedly. “Whether you like it or not, protecting people, stopping crimes, taking down villains – that’s my job.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Your job is to protect me.”

“Yes, Shigaraki,” Uraraka stressed, “it is.” He shook his head. “It is! You’re a civilian now, are you not? And Yukiko? She’s innocent too. I know it sounds grandiose and overly optimistic and even fake to you sometimes, but doing all those things is important to me. I got into heroism because I wanted to make money, plain and simple. I won’t lie about that. I wanted to support my parents the way they did me. But it became more, and I’ll stand by that too.”

Taking a deep breath, Shigaraki said, “I get it. You’re a hero. You’re a great hero and you’re a good person, so of course you’ll try to protect everyone. But this is more than that. It’s personal.”

“Of course it’s personal!” Uraraka burst. She bit her lip when she realized how loud she was, glancing at Yukiko’s bedroom door, but there was nothing. She sighed. “I’m worried, okay? I’m worried about Yukiko’s safety, and I’m worried about you.” He made a face. “Stop it. You’ve come so far. You’ve done so much. You are doing everything you can to be better. I don’t wanna see that go to waste.”

For a moment, Shigaraki wasn’t sure what to say. He was right in front of her, maybe too close, but he looked away from her, trying to formulate his thoughts. They’d been rattling around in his mind for the past three days, but up until now, he hadn’t been able to solidify them. Uraraka was good though. She was patient. She was silent, waiting for him to figure out what he wanted to say.

“Did you stop to think that maybe I don’t deserve to be protected?” Shigaraki asked. “Not Yukiko, but me. Maybe it’s easy to forget and look past with all the diapers and the minivan and stroller, but– I did a lot of terrible things, a lot of fucked up and awful things. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe this is my punishment.”

“Don’t people deserve second chances?” Uraraka countered.

“Do they? You could ask Touya that, and I’m certain what his answer would be.” Shigaraki frowned. He couldn’t shake the thought no matter what he did. As furious as he was over the prospect that Yukiko’s life was in danger – that Fuyumi was in danger – that even Uraraka could be in danger just for being around him – he couldn’t get rid of the idea that this was his just desserts. “I used to wonder why I was able to get out so early. Why me? Yeah, sure, we turned the League into a vigilante group, but we still acted out and hurt people. We weren’t good. I wasn’t good. Maybe I was supposed to get out and experience a normal, good life – just to have it taken away from me like I stole it from other people.”

Silence fell over them as his words settled between them. There. Finally. He’d gotten them out. They had started to creep into his mind during his conversation with Touya, but he hadn’t wanted to say them. He’d known full well that Touya would most likely agree, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to know that someone else thought they were beyond saving – that they didn’t deserve this life – that they never should’ve gotten out in the first place. He was pretty sure that was why Touya self-sabotaged any chance he had at improving his life. He didn’t feel like he deserved the chances, and it was easier to ruin them than to try them.

It made it less likely to fuck up and fall.

“Shigaraki.” Uraraka closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “If you ever say anything like that again, I’m going to smack the hell out of you.”

Caught off guard, Shigaraki reared back slightly. “So violent for a hero.”

“I’m not talking as a hero,” Urarak told him. She opened her eyes to look him in the face. “I’m speaking as a friend.”

Discomfort crawled up Shigaraki’s spine. “Oh, well, in that case…”

“I know you’re worried and – while you won’t admit it – I know you’re scared,” Uraraka said firmly. He wasn’t fucking scared. He was...irritable over the situation. “You’re at a disadvantage and you know it. You can’t fight like you used to. If you do, you’ll lose everything. Whoever is trying to find you knows that. Even if you fought back in self-defense, you and I both know that any use of your quirk in a fight will result in you going back to prison.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Shigaraki demanded. “Tuck tail and run?”

Uraraka tilted her chin up. “You let us do our jobs. You let me do my job.”

“You can’t–”

“You can’t fight,” Uraraka interrupted. “You fight, and you lose. You could win – you could beat the bad guy – and you will still be treated as a villain and taken away. It’s unfair, and I hate it, but it’s the truth. They won’t see you as a hero. They’ll see you as a threat.”

Shigaraki pointed at himself. “I am a threat!”

“Not anymore!” Uraraka snapped. “You can’t be! Not if you want to keep being Yukiko’s father.”

Any pointed words he might’ve thrown at her were stolen from him, leaving his mouth open as he glared down at her. She was right. Fuck, she was right. He could protect Yukiko as much as he could, but he couldn’t be the monster anymore that deterred all the villains from standing up against him. He had to rely on heroes, just like every other pathetic, little civilian that couldn’t defend themselves. No matter how dangerous he was, no matter how strong his quirk was, he couldn’t act on it.

“Promise me, Shigaraki,” Uraraka said in a quiet and pained voice. “Promise me you won’t try to solve this on your own. I know you want to take care of this. I know you probably think it’d be better if you found him and took him out first before he finds you.”

Shigaraki huffed. “Can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind.”

“Promise,” Uraraka repeated.

Wetting his chapped lips as he stared down at her, Shigaraki admitted, “I don’t think I can.”

Uraraka let out a breath. “You’re so difficult.”

“The same could be said of you,” Shigaraki retorted.

“This isn’t just your life anymore,” Uraraka said. “Maybe you do deserve this. Maybe losing it all would be the perfect cosmic karma that you’re due for every horrible you did.” Something akin to a rock dropped into the pit of his stomach. Him saying it had been one thing, but hearing it from someone else, especially her, kind of...hurt. She was so supportive of him normally that this stung more than he expected. “But does Yukiko? Does she deserve to lose her father on top of her mother abandoning her? Does she deserve to be forced to visit her dad in prison for the rest of his life or even worse?”

Shigaraki fought the urge to look at Yukiko’s door and instead looked in the opposite direction. “No.”

“These consequences aren’t just yours,” Uraraka told him, “and neither are these burdens. You have friends, people in your corner. Don’t be afraid to let them help you.”

It was too much. She was too much. He couldn’t understand why she was like this – so fierce and kind and bubbly and hard-headed and– He didn’t deserve this. She shouldn’t have been here. The thought kept replaying over and over in his mind, overlapping with his conversation with Touya that night he’d gotten drunk at his bar. She shouldn’t be here, but he wanted her here. He wanted her to stay here. She was frustrating and drove him up the wall sometimes and he didn’t get her, but he wanted–

He just wanted her .

As if unconsciously, he found his hand had lifted, his fingertips brushing her cheek. She blinked up at him, so innocently, too innocently, and his mind warned him to pull back, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to pull back. He wanted to push forward.

“Shigaraki?” Uraraka breathed out, and he swallowed thickly.

And then, as if god himself sought to punish him for being stupid and selfish, Yukiko started to wail from her room.

“Shit,” Shigaraki muttered, jerking his hand back and stepping away from Uraraka. He tried to ignore the way she took a shaky breath, but it was hard to miss, especially when her cheeks were so flushed. “I’ve gotta–”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Uraraka said quickly, waving her hands in the air. “I’ve got work in the morning, so I should–”

Shigaraki coughed. “Yeah.”

“I’ll just go–”

“Got it.”

“Um.” Uraraka fidgeted as she looked at him while he peered back at her out of the corner of his eyes. “Call me if you need anything, I guess.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t be surprised if Deku texts you,” she added. “He’s worried, and since I told him that you think it might be Overhaul trying to find you, he’s been on edge, and we both know an angry Deku is…”

“Kinda terrifying?” Shigaraki supplied for her. He would never forget the way Midoriya fought against All for One. Never. That hadn’t been some pure heroic bullshit. That had been balls to the walls fucking fury. He didn’t think heroes could get that pissed without it being righteous.

A smile flickered onto Uraraka’s face. “Yeah, kinda.” She forced the smile to stay on her face. “Goodnight.”

Shigaraki nodded. “Yeah, night.”

He didn’t wait for her to pick up her things and walk out before he went to check on Yukiko. He didn’t look back before she slipped out the front door. He really didn’t think about what he might have done had Yukiko not woken up in that exact moment. Nope, definitely not. He fundamentally refused.

Goddamnit, I’m an idiot. As if shit hadn’t been confusing before...

Notes:

I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE: the villain in question was originally just gonna be an OC I randomly made up when I started writing this arc, but then everyone started to theorize and guess on WHO it could be and I was like dslkfjasdkfjalkfj And then someone pointed out that the description sounded an awful lot like Overhaul and I realized it DID and then I also realized how PERFECT he would actually be for this and also I have a love/hate relationship with that bastard, so... Welp, thanks, everyone. xD

Chapter 41: Who ya gonna call?

Notes:

I didn't plan on posting this chapter on father's day, and yet here we are. To be honest, there was supposed to be another scene, but it'll probably end up being like 10k and this chapter was already at 5k and it's Father's Day. Plus, it's gonna be a little more difficult for me to write, so I figured why not just post this now.

Chapter Text

Shigaraki hadn’t particularly wanted to have dinner with Touya and Fuyumi like things were perfectly normal, but Fuyumi had stressed that it was important to keep things consistent for Yukiko’s sake, and he couldn’t argue against that. Besides, they hadn’t done dinner at their apartment in almost two months, and aside from seeing Yukiko the night that Shigaraki had gone to Touya’s bar to tell him about his new stalker, they hadn’t spent a lot of time together. Seeing as how she was essentially Yukiko’s godmother in all but name, it was a little unfair.

Fuyumi was upset and rightly so, which meant that Shigaraki and Touya were essentially at her whims. Yeah, it was fucking ridiculous, but he also didn’t feel like turning down a free home-cooked meal.

He arrived at their apartment a few minutes late but figured it wasn’t a big deal since Fuyumi usually planned dinner around him being late. He hadn’t been on time before Yukiko was dropped into his life and he certainly wasn’t now. Sometimes, it took him five minutes to get her ready; other times, it took him almost half an hour. He never knew which one it was going to be until he was walking out the door. He took his time down the hallway, letting Yukiko walk at her own pace. They’d be faster if she didn’t get distracted by everything, but such was the life of a baby.

“You’re slower than a goddamn slowpoke,” Shigaraki muttered as he watched Yukiko toddle toward him.

Right when Yukiko became distracted by the wall, he heard what sounded like a door slamming down the hallway. He peered back but didn’t see anyone, so it must’ve come from inside someone’s apartment. Before he could peel off one of his gloves, however, he heard a familiar female voice shout, “This isn’t fair!”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. That was Fuyumi, but he’d never heard her raise her voice before. He walked hesitantly to the door, looking at it instead of knocking, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“I’m just trying to keep you safe!” Touya’s aggravated voice followed.

“No, you’re pushing me away again! You’re shutting me out!"

“How the hell am I shutting you out? I’ve told you fucking everything!”

“And you’re running away!”

“Are you fucking–? I’m not running away. I’m just staying at Shouto’s for a little while. It’s safer that way!”

“You’re safe here–”

“But you aren’t! For fuck’s sake, Fuyumi, it’s not like I’m abandoning you or moving out. I’m just– I’m worried about you, okay? No, no, don’t start. You’re the strongest person I know, but I’ve potentially got a target on my back. It will be safer if I’m with Shouto and you know it.”

Shit. Touya and Fuyumi were actually having a full-on argument. He’d witnessed them bicker before – that was a staple of their sibling relationship – but he’d never actually heard them fight. He didn’t know Fuyumi was even capable of yelling like this. She was furious, upset, and scared – and she had every right to be. They had put her in this situation. He had put her in this situation. If he had severed contact with Touya, if they hadn’t remained friends, then Touya wouldn’t be in this position.

“So I just have to be alone and wonder if you’re okay?”

“Maybe… Maybe you should stay with Endeavor for a while.”

“It’s Dad. You're not gonna choke if you call him by that.”

“Goddamnit, Fuyumi, I hate this too, okay? I don’t want you to be anywhere near him. You know that.”

There was a moment of silence, but Fuyumi’s response was too soft for Shigaraki to hear through the door.

“I’m sure he’ll say something annoying about my past behavior catching up with me or ruining your life or whatever, but I don’t give a shit. I just want you to be safe. I think Natsuo and Mom will be okay since they aren’t here, but you are directly in the line of fire. I don’t want to put you at risk because I thought it’d be a great idea to be a villain to cope with my trauma.”

“You said we’d work through this together,” Fuyumi said – more like cried. Shigaraki winced and glanced down at Yukiko, who had finally reached his legs. “You promised.”

“And we will,” Touya reassured her, “but let me do this, okay? Let me be your brother. Let me protect you for once, like I should have back then. I’m doing everything I can to make sure you don’t suffer for my stupid ass decisions.” Not mistakes. Touya rarely referred to his past as a villain as such, although they both knew it was the truth. Mistakes sounded regrettable, but Touya never once proclaimed that he wouldn’t have made the same decisions if he knew the outcome. “It’s just until we figure out what’s going on. I’m not gonna leave you just yet. Who’s gonna cook me dinner?”

Fuyumi sniffed. “I can’t believe you brought up Dad as an option.”

Touya groaned. “I will call him myself and ask him to watch over you if it means you’re protected.”

Shigaraki raised his eyebrows. The irony was not lost on him, especially since Touya had never once associated the words “protection” and “safe” with the man that had damn near ruined his family’s lives. Yes, Touya had all but admitted a few days ago that he would deal with his old man if it meant keeping his family safe, but saying it to Fuyumi was completely different than implying it with him. Once he told Fuyumi, it was a done deal. It was the truth. Because he could lie and stretch the truth and be vague as hell about some things, even with her, but anything that serious to do with their family could only be the truth.

After all, Shigaraki knew what Touya was like: stubborn and difficult to a fault. If she even questioned him for a second, he’d pull out his phone and call Endeavor right now, even if it meant getting blackout drunk immediately after to wash the memory from his brain.

“I’m still mad that you talked with Shouto about this first,” Fuyumi told him.

“I couldn’t take advantage of Dad being the Number Two Hero, so I’m not gonna waste this opportunity with my little brother,” Touya pointed out dryly. Another bit of irony, one that Shigaraki knew was on purpose. Todorokis really had a weird sense of humor. “Besides, if Overhaul or another villain does try to attack me, Shouto can do all the work while I hide like a good, little civilian. You should be happy.”

“Why do I feel like it’s more about you not wanting to fight than obeying the law?”

“It can be both.”

They were clearly having a moment, and despite the conversation seemingly being over, Shigaraki could tell it wasn’t. Even with a door between them, a tense silence hung in the air. He could just picture Fuyumi looking at Touya sadly while he averted his gaze. It was brutal without even being in the apartment. Again, he knew that Touya gave more than a shit about his family, but it was so weird hearing him talk like this. He was rude, irritable, and still a bastard, but he was playing the role of big brother again.

It didn’t feel right to overhear. Maybe they should just go home. He could say that Yukiko wasn’t feeling well. That was a sure-fire excuse to always work. Kids randomly got sick all the time. He never had a warning for when Yukiko was going to puke on him, and it could be for little to no reason too. One time, Yukiko puked on him because she simply had a hair in her mouth. She wasn’t sick at all, just a baby.

However, before Shigaraki could make up his mind, Yukiko wobbled over to the door and started slamming her chubby little hands against it while babbling loud enough to wake the dead.

“What the–?” Shigaraki scooped her up, pulling her away from the door. “Are you kidding me?”

The door swung open as he struggled to contain the wild child, revealing Fuyumi, awkward smile and all. “I thought I heard my beautiful girl out here!”

Shigaraki practically thrust the squirming Yukiko into Fuyumi’s arms. “Here, you can hold the rotten, little turd too.”

“You’re not rotten at all, are you?” Fuyumi cooed, spinning her in the air and carrying her further into the apartment. She didn’t deny Yukiko being a little turd. Impossible to do since she shit so much. “Dinner is almost ready. I got a little distracted setting up next week’s lesson plans on quirks for the kids.”

“Must be fun teaching a bunch of brats about quirks,” Shigaraki thought out loud as he looked around the living room.

Touya was no longer in it, so he must’ve left the room when Yukiko began to bang on the door. Interesting. Maybe he was trying to pretend like nothing was amiss. He’d stroll into the room and act like he hadn’t just argued with Fuyumi. There was a chance he knew that they’d been overheard and was irritated at being exposed. Tough shit. This wasn’t a fun time for anyone involved.

“I find the usual curriculum lacking,” Fuyumi explained, setting Yukiko down so she could wander around, “so I like to add more onto it. And every class is different, so I try to tailor it depending on the kids.”

Shigaraki considered her words. It was a kind thing for her to do. The only person to help him with his quirk had been an evil megalomaniac villain, so there had been no hope for him. But what if Toga had had a teacher like Fuyumi? Someone who actually cared and would go out of their way to help them deal with the “side effects” of their quirk. What if Touya had had someone who did more than push them beyond their limit until they were considered useless because their quirk wasn’t good enough?

It wasn’t her fault, but he could just picture Fuyumi planning these lessons with her brothers in mind. Abused and abandoned for a faulty quirk, neglected because of a weak quirk, and used because of the perfect quirk – she would not want any child in her class to suffer such fates if she could help it.

“It’s probably difficult,” Shigaraki settled on saying. “Dealing with various quirks and kids who lack self-control.”

Sitting down on the ground with Yukiko, Fuyumi sighed. “It can get rough. Even if we didn’t...undergo training, Dad taught us strict control of our quirks. We weren’t allowed to use them inside the house and never at full strength. If we used them in public, we were punished.” Her gaze was faraway, a strange expression for her. He’d never seen her look like this. Her argument with Touya about their father must’ve brought up some memories. “I used to watch kids use their quirks at school, and I couldn’t understand how they could use them so...freely. Didn’t they care about the damage they could cause? Didn’t they know how to control themselves?”

“Didn’t they get in trouble?” Touya added as he strolled into the room. “I used my quirk at school once and got the beating of a lifetime for it. I couldn’t even attend my second week of public school.”

Fuyumi frowned. “You almost attacked the Prime Minister’s son.”

“He was a total asshole and deserved it,” Touya shot back.

Shigaraki stared at him. “You did what ?”

“I started my life of crime way before meeting you.” Touya pointed a finger at him and added, “And you have no room to talk.”

Okay, that was fair. He didn’t. He’d done much worse things than Touya when he was a kid – far worse things that he didn’t like talking about with his therapist – and it shouldn’t have been surprising to hear that Touya had been a little delinquent even before he ran away. It was almost kind of sad. Had they stood even a sliver of a chance at becoming good people? Had their paths to villainy been laid out before them as kids?

He watched Yukiko play with Fuyumi out of the corners of his eyes, Uraraka’s words from the other night coming back to him. Did she deserve to lose her father? Did she deserve to grow up with him either dead or behind bars to pay for his sins? What kind of life would she have then? What kind of path would that give her? Whoever this bastard was chasing him down, whether it was Chisaki or someone else, the ultimate knife in the gut would be putting Yukiko on the same path as him.

But Shigaraki would be damned if he let that happen. She’d have a good path, no matter what.

“I’ll be right back,” Fuyumi promised Yukiko before she stood up and rushed into the kitchen to check on the food.

When the door swung shut, Shigaraki turned to Touya. “So, moving in with your pro hero little brother?”

“Temporarily,” Touya responded. “We both decided it was the safest option. They’re more likely to come straight after me than go through her, but they might be more hesitant with Shouto around.” He peered at Yukiko, who had taken a shining to one of the video game controllers and was holding it against her chest as she explored the room. “Have you thought about finding someone to watch her?”

“I don’t know,” Shigaraki begrudgingly admitted.

And besides, he didn’t want to be parted from her either. The idea of putting her in someone else’s care unsettled him enough when he dropped her off at daycare, but it was even worse now. Touya was probably right that whoever this person was would ignore Fuyumi in favor of going after him, but any villain with half a brain would know the best way to get to Shigaraki himself would be through Yukiko.

She was his weakness.

“You could play pass around the baby with all your pro hero friends,” Touya suggested.

Shigaraki shot him a glare. “Fuck off.”

“Fuck!” Yukiko chanted happily, doing what he assumed was a little dance.

“No, don’t–” Shigaraki rubbed his temple. “Forget it.”

Touya folded his arms across his chest. “Fucking pathetic, isn’t it? We can’t even defend ourselves.”

Well, they could if they didn’t mind going back to prison. Shigaraki eyed Touya, taking note of the exposed skin of his wrists from where his sleeves rode up his arms. It was still scarred but not nearly as bad as it had been when they were villains. The medical treatment was slow and costly, but it was also working. Touya had to use his quirk in small, intermediate bursts to keep it from consuming him, but he’d reigned in it, favoring control over power. Still, Shigaraki knew his quirk was tied closely to his emotions. It was probably boiling under his skin now, but excessive use would hurt him all over again.

They were all in danger of hurting themselves again.

As if playing on repeat, Shigaraki once again said, “We’ll think of something,” when his phone buzzed in his back pocket. He ignored it at first, pulling Yukiko away from a plant and setting her down across the room, but then it began to buzz more insistently, signaling a phone call. Irritated, he pulled his phone out, only for his heart to shoot into his throat when he saw multiple texts, the first one standing out.

Makino
He’s here!!!

Touya scoffed. “What’s with the weird look?”

Shigaraki ignored him, answering the call, but before he could even get a word in, Makino burst out, “Oh, thank fuck you answered! I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Is he still there?” Shigaraki demanded.

Upon hearing the question, Touya stiffened, his heated gaze locked on Shigaraki. At least he understood immediately that the situation was serious and it wasn’t the time to fuck around anymore.

“Yes!” Makino hissed. “I’m sorry. I called you as soon as I could. And I– I didn’t tell him anything, but I think Ando told him when you work next, and I’m sorry. I tried to tell him that was illegal, but he didn’t care, so I told him I had to get something from the back, but he hates being up front by himself and I’m worried that guy is gonna get suspicious and–”

“Stop,” Shigaraki cut in. She did as she was told, sucking in a shaky breath of air. He could tell that she was close to hysterics. Shit, he’d really asked too much of her. She was young and innocent. She wasn’t from the same world as him or even Uraraka. He forgot that it wasn’t normal for him to have such a high tolerance for fear. “Just stay back there. If Ando gives him shit, tell him… I don’t know. Tell him you’re sick.”

Awkward laughter bubbled from Makino. “I do feel like throwing up.”

“Whoever this is clearly wants me,” Shigaraki told her. “As long as you stay out of it, you should be fine.”

“Okay. Right. Yeah.” Makino took another deep breath, this one less shaky. “I just got upset when Ando gave out your information. I’m sorry. I didn’t–” She cut herself off. Shigaraki strained to listen as he heard another muffled voice in the background, and then he heard Makino speak again, her voice distant as if she’d pulled the phone away and more than a little panicky. “Excuse me! Sir, this is employees only. No, this isn’t–”

And then the phone call went dead.

“Makino? Makino!” Shigaraki jerked the phone away from his ear and damn near chucked it across the room. “Shit!”

Fuyumi rushed out of the kitchen, her eyes wide with concern. “What’s–?”

“I gotta– Shit, I gotta go.” Shigaraki ran his fingers through his hair. “Can you watch Yukiko?”

“I–” Fuyumi blinked. “Of course, but…”

Touya snatched his phone off an end table. “I’m coming too.”

“Wait!” Fuyumi exclaimed, stepping forward to get in her brother’s way. “What’s happening?” Neither Shigaraki nor Touya spoke, both of them at war about what to say. “If this has something to do with that guy, then you can’t go in. You’re not the police or heroes. You’re two convicted felons out on parole – two former villains. You need to think this through.”

“Goddamnit,” Shigaraki growled, pressing fingers against his temple in an attempt to keep himself from scratching his neck or digging his blunt nails into his palms. He really fucked hated it when people were logical and right, especially when he was so keyed up, but Fuyumi was absolutely fucking right. As much as he wanted to go in guns blazing and get rid of this asshole on the spot, he couldn’t do it. Uraraka had tried to make him promise that he wouldn’t get directly involved, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie to her, not when it was what he wanted to do.

Uraraka. “You have friends, people in your corner. Don’t be afraid to let them help you.” Right. He had her.

As if coming to the conclusion at the same time when they met each other’s eyes, Touya said, “I’ll call Shouto.”

“I guess I’ll call Uraraka,” Shigaraki muttered begrudgingly.

“It’s either that or you call Midoriya,” Touya pointed out, “and I’m not too sure she wouldn’t come kick your ass after she kicked this guy’s if you did that.”

Shigaraki groaned. “We’re not going anywhere, are we?”

“No,” Fuyumi said. “You’re staying put – both of you.”

Touya held up one hand while he pressed his cell to his ear with the other. “Okay, okay. I didn’t feel like actually doing anything anyways.”

However, judging from the way he dropped his hand to his side and clenched it into a fist the moment Fuyumi turned away, that was a lie. Shigaraki didn’t call him out, not when he felt the same way. An old urge crawled its way up his spine, scratching at the back of his mind to be let inside: Destroy . Chisaki or not, whoever this bastard was, Shigaraki wanted nothing more than to get rid of them himself. Threatening him was one thing, but putting Yukiko’s life in danger was unforgivable.

He might’ve been a civilian, but Shigaraki wasn’t going to lie and say he was a good guy. He was willing to kill anyone that tried to hurt her and was just barely managing to hold himself back.

“Hey,” Uraraka greeted when she finally picked up his call. “I thought you were having dinner with Touya and Fuyumi.”

“I was,” Shigaraki managed through gritted teeth, “but something came up.”

“What is it?” Uraraka demanded, her tone shifting at the drop of a hat.

Shigaraki let out a breath. “That guy showed up at my work. Makino called me, but the call got cut off. I’m more than ready to go there myself, but–”

“Don’t you even fucking think about it until the coast is clear,” Uraraka cut in, so viciously that he raised his eyebrows. Well, that answered that problem. Like Touya said, she would probably kick his ass if he tried, but that didn’t make it any easier on him. “Stay there and keep an eye out, okay? Protect Yukiko. She comes first.”

“You know,” Shigaraki muttered, “for a hero, you sure are emotionally manipulative.”

“Call it strategic,” Uraraka responded without missing a beat. Judging from the sounds on her end of the call, she was moving quickly. “I’d call Detective Tsukauchi just to give him a heads up.”

“Yeah, just to cover my ass,” Shigaraki grumbled. He was getting really tired of making calls instead of actually doing anything, but short of getting his ass thrown in jail again, it was all he could do. He was a regular-ass civilian. All they did was call people when something bad or scary happened.

“I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

Before Shigaraki could even let her know that Touya was on the phone with his brother, Uraraka hung up, leaving him feeling strangely adrift. He could hear Touya talking and Fuyumi setting the table with Yukiko, but all he could do was stare at his phone. Doing nothing made him feel more like shit than he could’ve imagined. Makino was scared at work, and, if the end of her call was anything to go by, possibly in danger. And here he was, stuck in an apartment with his one-year-old trying to act like he didn’t want to disintegrate the couch.

“You need to eat,” Fuyumi told him.

Shigaraki scowled as he pulled up Tsukauchi’s contact information. “Pardon me for not being particularly hungry.” He sent the detective a basic text explaining the situation, but he’d likely have to deal with a call from him and a concerned one from All Might later. Definitely wasn’t looking forward to that. “Getting threatened tends to take away my appetite.”

Fuyumi stepped in front of him again, forcing him to look up at her, and he was almost caught off guard by the firm expression on his face. “Listen to me; you need to eat.”

“Why?” Shigaraki questioned.

“Because you can’t fight back on an empty stomach,” Fuyumi told him. He straightened his back, staring at her with newfound understanding. Her eyes moved past him, and he followed her gaze to where Touya was half-heartedly trying to shake Yukiko off his leg while he ate gyoza. When he glanced back at her, her face had turned sad. “He did it all the time, even after Dad wasn’t training him. I’d try to force him to eat, and then he’d either binge and throw up or couldn’t stomach it.”

Shigaraki huffed. “I thought we weren’t supposed to fight.”

“It’s a mental and emotional battle too,” Fuyumi pointed out. “And that takes more of a toll than you realize.”

“Sounds like you know a thing or two about dealing with villains.”

The smile on Fuyumi’s face didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Just a bit.” She laid a hand on his arm. “Just try to keep it cool for Yukiko. If you need to vent, you can go to Touya’s room and destroy some of his trash.”

“How thoughtful of you,” Shigaraki said with a snort.

“That’s what he gets for hoarding so much and never cleaning,” Fuyumi replied without missing a beat. With him somewhat calmed down, she brightened up and rushed to sweep Yukiko in the air away. “Aw, did Uncle Touya cave and give you some food? He’s such a softie, isn’t he?”

“Shut up!” Touya barked. “I was just trying to get the little heathen off me!”

Shigaraki closed his eyes and let out a breath. Keep calm for Yukiko. Got it. He could do that, although he might take Fuyumi up on her offer if he didn’t hear from anyone soon. This whole sitting on his ass thing really pissed him off. He’d been forced to do it before, like when he dealt with Chisaki the first time around while Bubaigawara and Toga worked for him, but it sucked so much. Learning patience in his early twenties had not been fun.

His phone buzzing in his hand pulled his attention back down, and he stared at Uraraka’s name on the screen before clicking on the two messages.

Makino is safe, just shaken up. He left right before we got here.
But you were right: it’s him.

Shigaraki hissed and texted back: I don’t suppose he wants to be friends too. The answer is no but still.

No it’s not looking too friendly. Let’s just say you won’t have to come into work for a while.

So much for getting my schedule finally.

Please be careful. I don’t think it’s much longer before he confronts you.

You want me to go into hiding, don’t you?

It couldn’t hurt.

Cool. I can ask Sako for advice.

I was thinking more along the lines of police or hero protection.

Fuck that.

And what about Yukiko?
Will you at least talk with Tsukauchi about something?
Touya is moving in with Shouto. You need to protect yourself and her too.

Oh, she was angry. He didn’t know how he could tell by just her text messages, but maybe the fact that she had sent three in a row without even waiting for a response tipped him off. He was frustrated with the situation, with himself, and maybe a little with her. Hell, as much as it bothered him and knew it wasn’t her fault, he was frustrated that having Yukiko put him at such a disadvantage. If it was just him, he wouldn’t care about half of this shit, but every time he went to make a move, it was like he had to look back at her.

She was his weakness .

Which was probably why he wasn’t thinking straight when he texted back: If you’re so worried about protecting me, why don’t you move in until this shit is done? Then you can keep an eye on me and make sure I don’t go off the rails.

As soon as he hit send, Shigaraki wanted to take it back, especially when Uraraka didn’t respond right away. He stood there looking at his phone like a total idiot, waving Touya off when he called out, “You gonna eat or are Yukiko and I gonna eat your portion too?” He was pretty sure he’d actually disintegrate his chopsticks and bowl if he tried to eat anything without seeing her response. Or maybe he should just chuck his phone out the window and call it a night. He clearly didn’t need to be texting anyone while this riled up.

Finally, Uraraka responded: I was gonna suggest you stay at Deku’s for a bit since he’s unlisted, but if you’d rather me stay over, I will.

He absolutely hated the idea of staying at Midoriya’s again, but damn if it wasn’t a good idea. No one aside from a handful of people knew Midoriya’s address, and it was often empty. Plus, if Chisaki did find out where he was laying low, what better place to stay than with the guy who had kicked his ass and defeated him back when he was a kid? If Midoriya had won that fight then, he’d sure as hell likely win now that he didn’t have to hold himself back or depend on a little girl with a reverse quirk.

But he didn’t want to be around Midoriya. He wanted to be around Uraraka. Now was probably not the right time to be picky about the company.

I’ll text him, Shigaraki finally sent back. Happy?

A little.
I’ll call you with more details when I’m done here.

Shigaraki set his phone aside, not wanting to deal with it any longer. He’d text or call Makino later to check on her, but she likely needed some time. Instead, he slunk over to the table where Fuyumi was feeding Yukiko and Touya was wolfing down food. He’d apparently learned to do as he was told – or he’d figured out that lesson while in the League. His scrawny ass had to eat a lot in order to survive due to his quirk. The more he used it or the more it flared up, the more he had to eat. Judging by his plate, he was prepping for a battle.

Maybe they were.

Chapter 42: And then everything changes

Notes:

I don't know why I struggled so much with this chapter, especially when I've been super excited about this arc and especially the following chapter. I think, perhaps, it's due to a lot of this fic has been built up for the this fic and the next chapter, and I was afraid of not being able to follow through with it. I originally envisioned a huge action scene, but it took a turn since - and I'll admit this - Overhaul wasn't originally the villain. It was supposed to be a random OC. So I went into this chapter not knowing what to do, and I got scared. The last thing I wanna do is let you all down. And it was admittedly really hard for me to imagine Shigaraki in this scenario - what would realistically happen, what I would do, etc. It was just HARD to write, and I got in my own head. I genuinely don't know if I came up with something good. I just know that it felt real and I can't wait to write the next chapter.

Chapter Text

“Sure you don’t need anything?” Midoriya asked from the doorway.

Shigaraki stared resolutely at Yukiko. “I don’t need anything.”

“I don’t mind getting anything extra at the store,” Midoriya continued.

“I don’t need anything.”

“Like if Yukiko needs any baby food or whatnot. It’s safer if I get anything you need so you don’t have to run about in public. I don’t think Chisaki would find you in a grocery store, but it’s possible–”

Shigaraki slammed his hands on the ground. “I said I don’t need anything!” Yukiko startled at the sound, eyeing him in confusion as she held a toy in the air. Judging from the way her lips trembled, it almost looked like she was about to cry over his outburst. He swore, pinching the bridge of his nose, and took a deep breath. “I’m fine. We’re fine. I packed extra heavy just in case, and Uraraka brought some stuff over the other day.”

“Okay,” Midoriya said gently. “Just wanted to make sure since I’ll be gone for a while.”

And with that, he was gone, closing the guest bedroom door behind him. Shigaraki dropped his hand from his face and held out his arms. Without even saying anything, Yukiko clambered to her feet and rushed over to him, crashing into his chest and clinging to his shirt tightly. Even though she preferred to walk as much as she could, she still liked being held, especially when he was upset. He would’ve thought she would want to stay away from him more since he was acting like an irritable piece of shit, but the more frustrated he was, the more she clung to him.

It felt nice to be wanted – to be trusted – to be seen as safe . It wasn’t something he was used to whatsoever, but ever since she’d been dropped into his arms, she had turned to him whenever she wanted or needed something. Now that they were crashing at Midoriya’s for the time being, she was back to sleeping in the same bed as him, which was kind of annoying since she moved so much in her sleep, but he felt better for it. If he had to get up and run, she was right there for him to grab. He could protect her better.

Upon letting go of her, Yukiko toddled back over to her toys. He placed his hands flat on the ground and leaned back, watching her play as if nothing was wrong in the world.

It sucked. This whole thing sucked.

After a week of staying at Midoriya’s apartment, Shigaraki was starting to feel more antsy by the minute. He’d used his quirk more time in the past few days than he had in months, even if it was just to disintegrate trash and throw away the ashes. He had to do something to release the tension building up inside of him or he was likely to lash out in some fashion. Maybe hunt Chisaki down himself and confront him. But that would get him nowhere except in prison, so he couldn’t do that. It didn’t help that he could return to work until the place was fixed since Chisaki had apparently thrown a fit, so all he could do was hide out here.

Who fucking knew Makino was capable of creating a force field that absorbed the energy around herself? He hadn’t known. He’d never even bothered asking what her quirk was until she explained how Chisaki had flown off the handle when he realized that she’d been covering for him. Because it wasn’t something physical, he couldn’t use his quirk against it, and it shielded the ground under her as well. It was a nifty, little quirk, except that she didn’t have much control over it and the energy the shield absorbed was dispersed once she let it down.

At any rate, she’d been able to protect herself. That kind of information definitely would’ve made him feel better about this whole thing, but Makino hadn’t known if she’d be able to use it properly should she need it, so she’d been too anxious to tell him.

Touya apparently wasn’t having much fun either, especially considering his last text from ten minutes ago, which said, I swear, I think Shouto wants Chisaki to show up. I mean, it’d be nice if he could deal with the bastard for us, but I think he’s bored. Hasn’t had a proper villain fight in ages.

Midoriya had popped in before Shigaraki could respond, so he did now that the number one pain in his ass was gone: You could always pick a fight with him since you did your best to avoid him before.

Ha ha very funny
Fuck I can’t believe I’m being “guarded” by my little brother. This is some bullshit.

I bet he’s doing perimeter checks outside the apartment.

Checking security cameras

Interviewing the neighbors

Uuuuugh he’s treating me like I’m some client that needs protection. I can take care of myself. I’m only here because it was the safest option for Fuyumi. And she’s checking in on me all the time too. I don’t need to be babied.

How IS Fuyumi handling this?

She’s staying with our dad, which she says is fine, and she probably is but I still hate it.

Did you talk with him?

No, she and Shouto did. He called me once and I let that shit go to voicemail and he didn’t try again. Whatever he wants to find out, he can get it from the cops. I’m trying to keep my hands clean as much as possible. He should be grateful about that.
Whatever. As long as Fuyumi is safe, I’m happy. Chisaki isn’t gonna come sniffing around her looking for me if she’s with the great Endeavor. He might not be close to retirement, but it’s fine.

It didn’t sound fine. Shigaraki knew for a fact that it wasn’t fine at all, but they were both dealing with this shit in their own way. He wasn’t too pleased about crashing at Midoriya’s place, but it did help that he was gone for work most of the time, leaving the place empty. It was more of a base of operations than a home. When he was here, it was usually to eat, shower, and sleep, and Shigaraki could stay in the guest bedroom, so they didn’t cross paths often. All in all, he was probably the most considerate roommate Shigaraki could ask for.

And he absolutely hated it.

I just want this to be over with.

You wanna fight him yourself?

Honestly? Yes. I know I shouldn’t – I know that’ll get me into shit – but I hate having to depend on others like this. It’s bullshit. I’m not some fucking damsel in distress in need of being saved.

Aw you’re Princess Peach.

Shut the FUCK up

In response, Touya sent him about twenty peach emojis, which only served to piss off Shigaraki even more, so he tossed his phone aside. Done with that conversation. Asshole. Just because his knickers were in a bunch because his family cared about him did not mean he could fuck around with him like that.

No longer distracted by his phone, Shigaraki returned to watching Yukiko. He noticed that she was starting to act a bit sluggish, rubbing her eyes multiple times and not throwing her toys around. It wasn’t that late, but she hadn’t taken much of a nap, too restless for whatever reason. Deciding it was worth a shot trying to put her to bed early, he pulled himself to his feet and then picked her up. She protested mildly when he changed her, but within ten minutes, she was out like a light on the bed, her mouth wide open and her arms and legs stretched out like a starfish.

Shit, he hadn’t done much today either and he felt like he could crash too. Instead, he snagged his phone and slipped out of the room. Once he dropped on the couch, he booted up the television and gaming system, figuring he could play a few rounds of something to knock off the edge of his frustration. It wouldn’t feel nearly as good as grabbing Chisaki by the throat and ending this, but he could pretend. Was that healthy? Eh, best not to think about it.

A buzz next to him alerted him to another text, this one from Uraraka, which asked, How are you doing?

Shigaraki rolled his eyes and sent back, What? Did Midoriya tell you that I threw a fit?

No I was just asking since I figured you’re probably going stir crazy. But did you throw a fit?

He huffed irritably and considered ignoring her too but decided against it at the last second. It wasn’t like she’d done anything wrong. He was the one who blew up at Midoriya for sticking his nose into shit, and he could’ve responded neutrally to her without starting shit too.

Instead of texting back, Shigaraki called her, seeing as how he knew she wasn’t working right now. He sandwiched the phone between his ear and neck as he set up the game, greeting with a quick, “I need both hands so it’s easier to talk this way.”

“Should I ask what you’re doing?” Uraraka asked in amusement.

Shigaraki made an affronted look despite being alone. “I’m playing video games. What were you thinking?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

“This is driving me fucking crazy,” Shigaraki muttered, his eyes locked on the screen. “You’d think I’d be used to this since we spent so much of our time hiding out in the League, but I’m losing my mind here. I almost willingly had a conversation with Midoriya just because I needed face-to-face dialogue with an adult.”

Uraraka laughed. “It’s only been a week.”

“It feels like a month.”

“I came over two days ago.”

“I’m pretty sure that was last week.”

“Do you want me to come over again?”

Yes, he did, but admitting that out loud would be a blow to his ego, and he wasn’t sure how much more it could take. He was already hiding out in his former archnemesis’ apartment with a baby from someone who he’d defeated once before. If he actually told Uraraka that he wanted her to come over because he wanted human contact with someone he actually liked, he’d call up Chisaki and tell him to meet him outside to end this humiliation.

“I just wanna get out of here for a bit,” Shigaraki finally said. It took him far too long to answer, which was aggravating in itself, but Uraraka was kind enough not to comment on it. Touya would have – he probably would have – but she was being nice since she knew he was stressed out enough as it was.

“We could get lunch tomorrow?” Uraraka offered.

That sounded fantastic, but a small part of him held back. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I don’t know,” Uraraka admitted. “There’s been no trace of him since he showed up at the store. I highly doubt he left the area, but he’s laying low, maybe because he doesn’t know where to look for you either.” She’d been right about one thing: no one would ever think to look for him at Midoriya’s place. Touya was still going to work, so it would’ve been easy to track him down there, but rooming with the Number Two Hero was a good deterrent. “But you can’t stay holed up in there forever.”

“No, I can’t.” Shigaraki started the game. “Besides, you can protect me, oh great hero, can’t you?”

“I know you’re being a sarcastic bastard,” Uraraka retorted, “but yes, I would.”

“Then that’s fine,” Shigaraki replied. “Lunch it is.”

“Lunch it is.”

*

He should’ve known – his stupid ass should have known – that it would not be fine.

The thing was, nothing happened during that lunch. It was perfectly boring and average. Well, okay, it wasn’t exactly boring since he was able to get out of Midoriya’s apartment and see Uraraka, but it was normal… Or as normal as whatever this was could be. He’d spent the first thirty minutes certain that Chisaki was going to pop up out of nowhere, but it never happened. He was in the wind, as the police said.

Nothing happened on his first few shifts back at the store either, although things were decidedly awkward and now his boss had somewhat of a cause to fire him. Shigaraki was pretty sure he only had a week or so left before the man gathered the balls to actually do it, but he kept to himself, did his job, and went back to Midoriya’s. It was dull as hell, but at least it was safe.

Instead of dropping Yukiko off at daycare, he begrudgingly took Touya’s advice and basically played “pass around the baby” with a bunch of heroes. It royally sucked, but was the safest option, and Yukiko seemed to enjoy it, especially when she got to stay at the apartment with Midoriya or go visit Touya at Shouto’s place. Honestly, Shigaraki couldn’t understand why she seemed so hellbent on loving the people that annoyed him the most, but it was out of his hands. Kids just lived to torture their parents.

He still nearly throttled Midoriya when he walked in on him showing Yukiko vintage videos of All Might, which she decidedly enjoyed far too much for his taste.

The monotony made Shigaraki slip into a less aware state. He felt himself falling back to how things were before Yukiko was in his life – not that she hadn’t changed it, but because he felt stagnant again. It was work, apartment, sleep, work, apartment, sleep. The only addition was picking up Yukiko, but even life with her was starting to feel like the same every day. He wasn’t going anywhere or doing anything.

And he stopped paying attention and fucked up.

“Wow, you look great,” Uraraka greeted him as he settled Yukiko into a highchair. He gave her a sour glower but said nothing when he dropped into the seat across from her. “Did Deku keep you up late partying?”

“More like Yukiko,” Shigaraki grumbled. “She wouldn’t go to sleep for shit. She was still up when Midoriya left.”

Uraraka winced. “Oh, that’s early. She doesn’t look tired at all.”

Indeed, Yukiko was happily babbling away in her seat as she tried to grab everything on the table. Unfortunately for her, he was onto her ways, so he had moved everything as soon as he sat down. Some of the words she said were starting to sound more intelligible. He could actually understand things and even hold something that vaguely resembled a conversation. Well, not really, but he could pretend at least. It made staying at Midoriya’s apartment a lot easier. Kaminari could probably hold a full conversation with her at this point depending on how fried his brain was.

“So, uh, how’s work?” Uraraka asked, a forced smile plastered on her face.

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s a good thing I’ve barely touched All Might’s pity trust fund.”

The smile dropped from her face. “You think so?”

“Makino has all but heard it confirmed,” Shigaraki said, leaning back and folding his arms across his chest. “The other managers and our boss have been pressuring her to tell them any complaints about me since I pretty much only work with her. There’s a chance her job is at stake too, so…”

“You might quit,” Uraraka surmised.

“A hostile work environment isn’t healthy,” Shigaraki responded dryly.

Of course, back when he was a villain and even a vigilante, he was fairly certain that his work environment could only be described as hostile, half the time on purpose. Not only had he and Touya bickered with each other all the time, but other villains had been trying to kill him and heroes arrest him and All for One manipulating him. All in all, it hadn’t been good for his mental, emotional, or physical health.

Uraraka leaned forward to prop her elbows on the table and set her chin in her hands. “I think it’s sweet how you’re protecting, Makino.”

Shigaraki made a face. “It’s not sweet. I am not sweet. Stop being fucking weird.”

“You are trying to protect her though,” Uraraka pointed out.

“Yeah, well.” Shigaraki shrugged. “She’s been a decent coworker. Kinda reminds me of Iguchi in a weird way.”

“A decent coworker.” Uraraka blew a raspberry. “Who knew you were such a tsundere.”

Shigaraki damn near choked on his tongue, rocketing forward in his seat. “I’m not–”

Uraraka burst into laughter, cutting him off. Shigaraki glared at her, but it did absolutely nothing to stop her. He really was a civilian. Could he even threaten a villain now? Could he do anything? Okay, so a civilian would still be halted by a few snapped words and a glare, maybe even run away, but Uraraka was a hero. She faced villains weekly and had seen him in various humiliating situations in the past year, so his stubborn ass was cake.

Oh, how the mighty had fallen.

Wait. Had it actually been…?

“It’s September,” Shigaraki blurted.

Uraraka calmed down. “Yeah?”

“I’ve almost had Yukiko for a year.”

“Huh, yeah, you’re right.” Uraraka tilted her head. “A lot sure has changed in just a year.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Fucking tell me about it. I mean, this time last year, it was taking everything in me to motivate myself to get out of bed for my stupid job.”

“And now?”

“It takes Yukiko yelling ‘Dad’ at the top of her lungs for me to get out of bed for my stupid job.”

Uraraka moved a hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles. “I’m pretty sure your life has changed more than that.”

Shigaraki eyed her for a moment and then looked to Yukiko, begrudgingly admitting, “Yeah, it has.”

In more ways than one. It wasn’t just Yukiko being in his life that made such a difference. It was Uraraka, Kaminari, Midoriya, and – he couldn’t lie to himself – All Might. He was actually working hard and trying to become something of himself, having received materials to study for the exam that could enable him to take college courses. He’d moved into a better apartment (although that hadn’t exactly been willing) and could drive if he wanted. He took care of himself, not just because his therapist and society dictated it but because he wanted to, and took care of someone without any thought of receiving something in return.

Even his friendship with Touya had changed. He couldn’t tell how exactly, but he’d noticed a marked difference in Touya. He wasn’t as angry. Yeah, he’d calmed down a lot since their villain and vigilante days and prison, but he seemed...happier. He laughed more. Sure, it was mocking, but it was there. And he’d been willing to reach out to his father for his sister’s safety, which probably would’ve downright shocked his therapist.

The life he lived now – the lives that Touya and Iguchi lived and hopefully Toga and Jin – was not something he had ever thought possible back in those dark days. This was the type of life he had once scorned, couldn’t understand, and wanted to destroy. He’d mocked the countless people who simply lived their lives day in and day out, going to work, spending time with their families, doing things with friends. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it, so he just wanted all of it gone since he could never have it.

But he did. He did have it now, and fuck if it wasn’t the weirdest shit ever.

“Gonna do anything special to mark the occasion?” Uraraka asked.

“Should I throw an accidental baby acquisition party?” Shigaraki retorted. “Happy ‘I got your serial killer mother arrested’ day?”

“Don’t say that in front of her!” Uraraka scolded, holding her hands over Yukiko’s ears after the fact like it was going to do anything.

Shigaraki snorted. “What? She doesn’t understand that yet.”

“Still…” Uraraka frowned and pulled her hands away from Yukiko’s ears. She slid her keys over to let Yukiko play with them, which could entertain her for at least ten minutes. “It is something of an anniversary and a special day. You two found each other.”

“More like we found each other,” Shigaraki scoffed.

Uraraka raised an eyebrow. “We?”

“I mean–” Shigaraki waved a hand. “You found me – struggling on the street with a baby.”

Her other eyebrow shot up. “You wanna celebrate us meeting again?”

“No, I don’t want to celebrate anything!” Shigaraki burst. He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed the center of his forehead. She was going to be the death of him. She’d almost been that cause for real when she dropped a building on him, but now he was actively going to die of an aneurysm because she confused the hell out of him and he did not like how much he enjoyed her presence. There was something seriously wrong with him, but even if he was annoyed, it was like he didn’t mind it.

How could he not mind being annoyed? Was he even truly annoyed then?

“Okay, so you don’t have to do anything special, but still, I–”

Uraraka cut herself off, but Shigaraki was distracted trying to pull her keys out of Yukiko’s mouth to notice at first. Only when he finally managed to extricate them did he realize that Uraraka had gone silent, so he turned to look at her. A strange expression had settled on her face as she stared at something over his shoulder, one that he couldn’t fully read – shocked yet oddly blank.

Shigaraki’s heart thudded in his chest. “What is it? Bakugou?”

The sarcastic remark fell flat, especially when he knew it wasn’t the case, not when he saw the hint of fear in her eyes. It was just barely there, but even as she sat upright and a determined line settled in the way she held herself, he could see it. They were just out for a casual lunch, a quick in and out before he returned to the relative safety of Midoriya’s apartment.

Not anymore. Not with what he knew was a villain standing somewhere behind him.

Shigaraki gripped the table tightly. If Chisaki was somewhere behind him and hadn’t attacked yet, they hadn’t been spotted, but any sudden movements would likely catch his eyes. Uraraka looked frozen too as she tried to figure out what to do. Yukiko was obviously their first concern. If he had to use his quirk to simply save himself or her, he would do it and fuck the consequences. Using it defensively couldn’t be a mark against him, could it?

“You need to run,” Uraraka told him in a tight voice. Shigaraki furrowed his brow, but before he could say anything, she cut in, “Don’t argue with me. Yukiko’s life is more important than your pride – your life is more important.” Luckily, her phone was sitting on the table, so she was able to discreetly send off a text. To her agency or friends, he didn’t know, but alerting anyone would do. “Backup is on the way, and I’m sure there’s another hero around here on duty somewhere, but I’ll hold him off until then.”

“On your own?” Shigaraki demanded incredulously.

“No, I’m gonna enlist a bunch of civilians to help me out,” Uraraka shot back. She took off her hat and sunglasses and used a ponytail holder wrapped around her wrist to pull up her hair. “Yes, on my own, but hopefully not for long. We have no idea what his quirk is like since his surgery. He looks normal now, but there’s no telling. The moment he spots you, I doubt he’s gonna stroll up for a nice chat.”

Shigaraki was about to concede when he noticed something even more distressing: at least two guys were also walking around the restaurant. There really wasn’t anything special about them, but while they looked like they were searching for someone, it didn’t feel like they were trying to find a group of friends or family.

“He’s not alone,” Shigaraki pointed out. As naturally as he could without standing up, he leaned over to pull Yukiko out of the highchair, praying to whatever higher gods there were that she didn’t squeal, say his name, or make any other loud noise that would draw attention. She didn’t, thank fuck, but she did squirm irritably in his arms, unhappy with being held against his chest. If he was going to take her out of the chair, she wanted to run around.

Uraraka grabbed a pair of chopsticks. “I know. I saw them.”

“You can’t do this by yourself.”

She shot him a sharp glare. “And what could you do? I know you’re strong, Shigaraki. I know you’re not weak. I haven’t forgotten what you’re capable of.” He almost winced, but he glared back instead. What he was capable of? She might’ve had an idea, but what he would be willing to do in order to protect Yukiko couldn’t possibly amount to what he’d done while throwing his insane temper tantrums. “But you have to think about Yukiko. What is she going to do while you’re off fighting? Will you stash her somewhere and hope she’s okay while Overhaul wrecks everything? Are you gonna fight with one hand while holding her in the other?”

Her repeated questions slapped him in the face, a cold dose of reality he didn’t want to know. Yukiko wiggled in his arms, trying to escape him, and he tightened his grip on her. He couldn’t just leave her. Uraraka was right. He couldn’t set her down somewhere, leave her behind, and hope for the best. He had to protect her, even if it meant running away like a fucking chicken – and he had to trust Uraraka to be able to protect him and survive.

“An alarm is going to sound at any second,” Uraraka told him. Ah, yes, the old system that had been installed back in his villain heydays, a loud siren that would warn surrounding areas to a villain attack so people could start evacuating. Very likely, heroes in the area were being alerted to what could possibly be one. Who was to say that Chisaki would actually attack?

Well, shit, he certainly wasn’t here on a friendly note.

“Uraraka,” Shigaraki growled warningly, giving her a sideways look.

But she only smiled, reminding him painfully of Midoriya. “Hey, don’t worry. This is what I do. Fighting bad guys is my day job, remember? You trust me, right?”

He did. He shouldn’t – everything in him, his history, and the way he’d been raised told him that he shouldn’t trust her or believe a word she said – but he did despite himself. In a matter of nearly a year, his entire life had been turned completely on its end, and a part of that had a lot to do with Uraraka, someone he’d once loathed and wanted dead. Now there was a real possibility that could happen in part because of him – and he had to simply believe that she’d be fine in the end.

This was what you wanted before, wasn’t it? a nasty voice whispered in the back of his mind. You wanted people and heroes to feel this exact fear. You wanted them to suffer. You wanted them to lose everything like you did.

Uraraka took a deep breath. “When everything starts–”

“You don’t need to remind me what a villain attack is like,” Shigaraki cut in, taking off one of his gloves and shoving it into his pocket. “I remember.”

“R-right.” It was the first time she’d ever faltered when he’d thrown his history in her face, something he couldn’t help but notice. However, he kept his mouth shut.

Uraraka looked at him, and he looked back at her, something unspoken settling between them. He knew he should say something. He knew the words that he was supposed to say, words he’d never said before as far as he could remember. Be careful. But he didn’t say them. He wasn’t sure if he had to or if she knew. She probably didn’t. It wasn’t something he would normally say, kind of like how he wasn’t big on saying goodbye or other niceties. They were unnecessary, even these words.

Besides, there wasn’t time, not when a loud siren blasted in the streets.

Shigaraki remembered what a villain attack was like, but he’d never been on this side of the chaos before. Normally, he was the one perpetrating it, jumping right into the fray. Now he was running away. It didn’t feel right, and every muscle and bone in his body protested against it, but when he tucked Yukiko against his chest and ran, he didn’t fight. Instead, he ran for the kitchen since the other exits were blocked. He didn’t look back, not even when he felt the ground beneath him shake and sense a shift in gravity.

If he looked back and watched Uraraka confront the villains, no doubt he would want to fight as well, and it was a hard enough battle fighting against his own aggressive nature.

The ground literally turned to rubble underneath his feet, spikes shoot up from the floor to trap him, but all Shigaraki had to do was swipe a hand against them and they turned to dust. It was fine. He wasn’t using his quirk against anyone. He was using it to escape – to protect Yukiko – to run away. Confused and scared, she was crying, her wails loud enough to be heard over the chaos, and clinging to his shirt, and his heart thudded in his chest.

“Shigaraki!” Chisaki bellowed right when Shigaraki reached for the door.

But before he could turn fully, Uraraka yelled, “Go!”

He heard the message loud and clear: Don’t you dare think about it!

Using every last inch of his control, Shigaraki wrapped both his arms around Yukiko and shoved the door open with his shoulder. Most of the people in the kitchen had fled, although he saw one person actually hiding in the freezer. Might as well if they couldn’t run. It was hot and noisy, especially since other civilians had followed him in their panic, but he didn’t pay anyone attention as he struggled to keep from slipping while he ran until he finally kicked the back door open and spilled outside into an alley.

“Shit,” Shigaraki gasped out, panting for breath.

Was he out of shape or was this panic? Or was it anger? Fuck, if he knew. He could barely think straight, especially with Yukiko crying out, “Mama! Mama!” and reaching out behind him for Uraraka, who hadn’t followed them. The building rattled, and he was forced to bend over and shield her with his body when all the glass shattered. He winced as a few pieces glanced off him, but then gritted his teeth, stood upright, and continued to run. Once he made it out into the made street, he noticed more people running away, chaos and confusion taking over.

It was such a familiar scene that for a second Shigaraki forgot that he was just a civilian. How many times had he been the cause of something like this? How many times had he started it, finished it, created it? Even when the League jumped headfirst into vigilantism, they hadn’t been known for their clean work. Sometimes, they caused almost nearly as much destruction taking down a villain as the villain did themselves. They’d gotten better about their messes in the end, but he still hadn’t cared much about collateral damage.

Was that what these people were? Was that what Uraraka was? After all, she wouldn’t be here if not for him. Maybe she would’ve been one of the heroes called to the scene during the attack, but she wouldn’t be in the thick of it. He could at least take some relief in the fact that rubble from the building was floating, a sure sign that she was still alive if her quirk was still active.

That relief was short-lived when he witnessed her being thrown out of the building through a broken window by a large pillar created by Chisaki’s quirk. She crashed hard into the ground, rolling in the street until she managed to land on her feet and skid to a halt. It had only been a few minutes, but she was already scraped up and bleeding. She was still standing though and didn’t release her quirk until a roughed up Chisaki kicked the door down and stumbled outside to follow her so that all the rubble in the air crashed down.

Chisaki used his quirk to defend himself, creating a barrier with the sidewalk and street, and demanded, “You’re really defending him?”

Uraraka didn’t say anything, glaring him down and reaching over to touch a broken piece of the sidewalk that had been uprooted. It glowed pink as it floated in the air, and she grabbed the edge of it in one hand as she stood upright despite whatever injuries she might’ve received so far. She held out her other hand, a warning sign that he knew was meant for him, and tensed up.

He wanted to help. He wanted to fight. He was more than willing to tear Chisaki limb from limb ( I should’ve taken more than his hands ), but instead, Shigaraki ran. Revulsion filled him even as he held a hand over the back of Yukiko’s head, but he didn’t stop running until he couldn’t breathe and his legs protested. He didn’t even know where he was trying, just that he had to get Yukiko as far away as possible, but the clash could still be heard behind him no matter how far he ran.

Other heroes had to be involved now. They would take down Chisaki and arrest him again. Uraraka would be fine. Everything would be fine. Fuck, he was so fucking furious. He was useless, pathetic, weak, Goddamnit. He should’ve been able to do more, to protect Yukiko more, to fight more. He should’ve been there. Maybe… Maybe he could hide Yukiko somewhere safe and go back. Fucking erase Chisaki from the planet. He should’ve done that in the first place.

I should’ve killed him when I had the chance. I should have– 

A loud buzzing in his pocket pulled him out of the fog of rage, and Shigaraki blinked. Taking in his surroundings, he realized that most of the people around him were standing still, looking in the direction of the fight. It was impossible to see, but they could still hear it, frozen in confusion and fear. A few people were eyeing him warily, especially since he was slumped against a car panting heavily with a crying kid in his arms, but he ignored them.

“Calm down, calm down,” Shigaraki muttered to Yukiko as he awkwardly fished his phone out of his pocket.

He answered it without looking at the screen, but before he could get a word out, Touya’s loud voice barked on the other end. “What the fuck is going on? Shouto got a text and ran out the door. I saw on the news that there’s a villain attack going on right now down the street from Midoriya’s place. You haven’t been answering your goddamn phone! I thought you were fucking dead! Hey, say something, dipshit!”

“Would you shut up?” Shigaraki snapped, still partially out of breath.

“At least I know you’re alive,” Touya shot back. “I couldn’t tell from the footage on TV. Is it–?”

“Yeah, it’s him.” Shigaraki swallowed a lump in his throat and stood upright. “I shouldn’t have gone out. I got bored and complacent. I wasn’t thinking. Uraraka– She’s–” Yukiko had started to calm down, sniffling and hiccuping, but her face was still buried against his shoulder as she clung to him. “Fuck! FUCK!” And then she was crying again, upset because she could sense his anger, and he was back to muttering, “Shit, it’s okay. It’s fine. Calm down. Just– just calm down, okay?”

He wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or Yukiko, but his heart was both racing and felt like it had shot up his throat, making it difficult to talk. She didn’t know what was going on – and granted, he didn’t know much either – but it had to be extra disorienting for her. At least he’d gone through shit like this, so he was able to close his eyes and stop his brain from going into angry panic mode. Yukiko had no point of reference. All she knew was that he’d snatched her up, ran, and everything was going to shit.

And Uraraka wasn’t with them, a point driven home when Yukiko wailed, “Want Ura!”

At some point, Shigaraki realized Touya was still talking on the phone, which he was holding to his ear. He completely forgot about it, lost in this whole mess. “–fucking mess everywhere. What’s up with these cameramen not being able to capture shit? Remember how dirty they did the live coverage of us? Damnit, is that Shouto? He ran out of here so fast and didn’t even say jack to me, that little shit.”

“What’s going on?” Shigaraki demanded. “Can you see if…?”

“She’s alive – still fighting,” Touya told him. “I forgot how insane her quirk is.”

“I should be there,” Shigaraki growled. “I should–”

“Be handing Overhaul’s ass to him?” Touya cut in. “Kill him?”

“I want to,” Shigaraki admitted. “I want to fucking erase him. She just–”

“Oh, I know, I know.” Touya took a shaky breath and let out a callous laugh. “Fuyumi just texted me. My old man is on his way too. This is turning into a real circus.”

“It should be us .” Shigaraki moved Yukiko to his other arm and rubbed his face. “It should be us taking him down. This is our fight. He’s here for us – for me.” He could feel his rage building up all over again, rising and crashing like waves, but when he tried to push it down, all he felt like doing was drowning in it. “What the fuck am I doing? I’m just standing here like an idiot! I used to jump into this shit for fun, and I ran away. People are just standing around asking what’s going on, completely clueless, and I’m-I’m…”

“Taking care of your kid?” Touya offered. “Doing what every other parent did when we fucked everything up and tried to kill people for revenge or to make a point or whatever?” Shigaraki actually hissed, the smart of his comment hot enough to sting him through the phone. “It ain’t fun being on the opposite end of this shit, is it?” He laughed again, so cold yet so hot at the same time, his own rage apparent. “How much do you hate yourself right now?”

Shigaraki sunk down into a crouch, pressing the side of his face against the top of Yukiko’s head. “I want to throw myself into the middle of it just to end this.”

“The fight or yourself?”

“I don’t know.” Shigaraki sucked in a breath of air and then lifted his head, staring down the street. “I don’t fucking know.”

Things had slowly quieted down, and if Touya wasn’t focused on the live courage, that must’ve meant things had ended. All in all, villain attacks very rarely lasted long. They only seemed like it, but heroes tended to end fights quicker than people realized. It didn’t take long for a lot of damage to occur and some were more intense than others, which made them feel longer. This had felt like a lifetime, but it might’ve only been fifteen or twenty minutes. He could check the time on his phone, but he was too frazzled to do fucking math.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Shigaraki asked no one in particular. “Just stand here and wait for a hero to tell us it’s all gonna be okay?”

“That’s the civilian thing to do, isn’t it?”

“What’s going on there?”

“Dunno,” Touya told him. “They cut off the live feed.”

“Shit.” Planting a hand on the hood of the car, Shigaraki pulled himself up. With only a hint of shakiness, he finally set Yukiko down to give his arms a break. She refused to stray far, clinging to his legs and burying her face in his pants. He’d pick her up again in a second. He just… He needed a moment or he was going to lose his shit. “This is pathetic. I feel like fucking nothing. What the hell are we doing? What happened to us?”

Touya snorted. “We got rehabilitated. Some would say that’s progress.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. Both their therapists and parole officers would probably be ecstatic to know that they had successfully stayed out of the fighting. He was making light of it, but Shigaraki could tell Touya was struggling to stay put. With a lull in the conversation, Shigaraki pulled his phone away from his ear to check the screen, taking note of all the missed calls and texts from various people. Touya was just the lucky one he’d answered first.

“I hate this,” Shigaraki finished. But he couldn’t go anywhere with Yukiko clinging to him – holding him back, like a chain shackling him. No, she was more than that. In a way, she was keeping him safe. He breathed in deeply through his nose, trying to center himself. It was hard when all he felt like was shattering and turning everything to dust. “I want to go back, but I can’t because of Yukiko. I can’t leave. I can’t– I can’t do anything.”

“Yeah, but you know–” Touya stopped and went silent.

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. “What?”

“You need to leave – right now.”

“What?” Shigaraki scoffed. “Even I can tell the fighting has ended.”

“No, just–” Touya swore under his breath. “Bring Yukiko here. Shit, do you even have Shouto’s address? No, go to Midoriya’s, and I can–”

Shigaraki’s grip on his phone tightened, his stomach turning on its end. “What the fuck are you going on about?” He really didn’t need to ask, but he did anyway, because he didn’t know what else to do. “Touya.”

“Listen to me–”

“Touya,” Shigaraki snapped.

“You ain’t gonna like it, boss.”

“Spit it out.”

Touya sighed. “Uraraka’s down. I don’t know how bad it is, but–”

It didn’t matter what he said. It didn’t matter that he’d continued to talk. Shigaraki’s entire world shifted, his mind going blank and everything turning white. Someone walked over and asked him something, but he ignored them. He didn’t know… He didn’t know anything. People were talking and he couldn’t hear them. Touya was talking. Yukiko was pulling at his pants leg, demanding to be picked up. He hung up on Touya and dropped his hand to his side, just barely holding onto the phone.

He sunk back to the ground, dropping on his ass, and let Yukiko throw herself into his chest. There was nothing else he could do – nothing he could say. Long ago, this was something he’d wanted. He had known she was important to Midoriya and, especially after she’d damn near put him out of commission, he’d wanted her out of the way. He had wanted her gone.

It was funny how life worked out – except it wasn’t. It really fucking wasn’t.

Chapter 43: Tfw you give a shit

Notes:

So originally, this chapter was supposed to have another scene with it, but then I knew it would be pushing on 10k. Blame Shigaraki for overthinking and angsting on main. As much as I love dropping huge ass chapters, I wanted to get this out to you all first and felt like it deserved a chapter of its own. Don't worry. The wait will be worth it. ;) This was also supposed to end a little differently, but as I was writing it, things just didn't feel right so I changed it a bit. I've already started on the next chapter too!

Chapter Text

The next few hours were a blur. Shigaraki could only recall bits and pieces of it – some vague and some very sharp and clear – but he was positive his therapist would try. From what he could remember, a few heroes had come around to move civilians along. The fight with the villain was over. No one but him seemed to know who exactly had been involved in the fight, but while a few people had eyed him curiously, no one had dared to come near him.

For good reason too. Standing there in a daze with a child wailing in his arms and multiple tiny cuts on his body, he’d probably looked like a lunatic.

He hadn’t even realized he was injured until Fuyumi and Touya came to pick him up. After Endeavor had left to attend to the scene, Fuyumi had apparently gone straight to her brother, picking him up and heading down to grab him. She had nearly screamed when she spotted shards of glass still in his shirt, along with a cut on his cheek. Thankfully, Yukiko was completely unharmed, seeing as how he’d used his body to shield her when the restaurant windows shattered, but Fuyumi had been in near hysterics.

Upon going back to their apartment (and he didn’t know why he was there instead of his own place), he’d attempted to clean himself up in their bathroom. It was bigger than his, accommodated for two people, but it felt like the walls were closing in on him. The water in the sink ran pink from his blood on the wash clothes, and he kept fucking up the bandaids until he finally gave up. He probably would’ve walked around with open wounds on his back had Touya not shoved himself inside and finished the work.

“Feels like old times, doesn’t it?” Touya had said after handing his shirt back to him.

As much as it pained him, it did, except the bathroom was much nicer and he was on the other side.

He sat there in their living room, watching news report after report, just like he’d done back in their villain and vigilante days. While every bit of information mattered in his mind, the truth was that they told him very little. The reports were the same on every channel.

A recently released villain had gone on a rampage, reasons unknown. (Fuck that. Shigaraki knew the exact reason.)

While off-duty, Uravity had been the first hero on the scene. She’d confronted the villain and was the main factor in his takedown but had been injured and was in critical condition. (Where was she? What was going on? Was she okay? Fuck, was she alive?)

Other pro heroes had arrived during the fight and were quickly able to subdue the villain and three other cohorts. They were now involved in the clean-up and recovery, as the collateral damage was intense. The villain’s quirk had done a number on the area. (Overhaul could’ve fixed that shit with a touch of his hand, but Shigaraki doubted he was in a helpful mood after getting taken down by the same person a second time.)

If he had to see fucking Midoriya or Touya’s little brother on the television one more time… In the back of his mind, Shigaraki knew it wasn’t their fault. They were the Number One and Number Two Heroes. Midoriya especially was known because he was so well-known throughout the entire world. They remained on the scene, talking with the reporters and helping with the recovery, but Shigaraki could see it in their eyes every time they glanced away from the cameras or paused in working.

The distraction, the nerves, the irritation. Neither one of them wanted to be there, not when Uraraka wasn’t with them.

Five hours passed before Shigaraki received any news. Five fucking long hours. He couldn’t eat no matter how much Fuyumi tried to cajole him and Touya had to snap at him more than once to stop him from scratching his neck. It pissed him off. Not even holding Yukiko made him feel any better. Normally, when she clung to him, he could find some sort of ease, but his anxiety and frustration rubbed off on her instead, so she became antsy and whiney too. In the end, Fuyumi took her away to bathe her and then play in her bedroom.

He hated it. He hated this so much. This was exactly how people had felt when they went on a rampage as the League of Villains. Loved ones sitting on their couch, waiting for a phone call that would either bring them relief or despair, ready to snap at the slightest change in news. He couldn’t fucking handle this. It was driving him crazy. He was about to disintegrate the couch when his phone finally rang.

To say that Shigaraki jumped on picking up the call would’ve been an understatement, but Touya thankfully didn’t comment on his speedy reaction and also stayed silent when Shigaraki demanded, “What is it? How is she–?”

“She’s okay,” Midoriya cut in, tiredly but obviously relieved. “She’s okay.”

Shigaraki’s heart didn’t seem to know whether it wanted to shoot up into his throat or drop into the pit of his stomach. He fell back against the couch, sinking into the cushions, and closed his eyes, forcing out a breath. Some of the tension slowly began to bleed out of him, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to fully relax, not with the images of Uraraka from the news replaying in his mind. He’d only seen a few seconds of her fight in person, so watching her fight on-screen hours later when he had been right there…

It shamed him, embarrassed him, disgusted him. He’d just sat there as the same footage played over and over again, watching her take a hit that would’ve knocked a regular person out cold and then suffering a stab to the chest that could’ve killed her. She hadn’t fallen, not even then, and probably would’ve died had Todoroki not appeared a second later and forced Chisaki back with a wall of fire.

That was you, a voice kept telling him. You did this. Don’t you remember how much this excited you before?

The taste in his mouth was so bitter and sour that it made it hard for him to swallow, but Shigaraki did so and asked through gritted teeth. “Is she...?”

To be honest, he didn’t even know what he was asking, but Midoriya seemed to understand anyway. “She’s unconscious but stable. There was a paramedic on the scene with a minor healing quirk that managed to take care of the stab wound until she reached the hospital. The doctors said she’s fine – just needs monitoring and rest in order to recover.”

“Good, good.” Shigaraki nearly bit his tongue in frustration. He opened his eyes and glared at nothing in particular. Touya had left the room, but he could hear murmuring in Fuyumi’s room, likely giving her a quick update along with space and privacy that he knew Shigaraki would want. “I didn’t–”

“It’s not your fault,” Midoriya cut in quickly. “You know Uraraka would be pissed if she heard you say that.”

Wasn’t it though? She wouldn’t have had to deal with any of this if it wasn’t for him. Just like the whole mess with the media fucking up her career, except this time, her involvement with him almost cost her her life. There was a direct correlation, one he couldn’t ignore. He gripped his phone tighter, his pinky finger twitching with the desire to rest along the edge and turn it into ash.

“This was a fight that would’ve happened regardless,” Midoriya continued. “She just happened to be the first hero on the scene.” Yeah, because she’d been having lunch with him since he couldn’t handle being cooped up and hiding out for safety reasons. He’d been so stupid. “There’s a high possibility she would’ve been involved in the fight even if she hadn’t been with you at the time or wasn’t in your life. It comes with the territory.”

“Real fucking encouraging,” Shigaraki spat.

“It’s the truth, one you should know damn well.” The sharpness of Midoriya’s tone, along with the pointed meaning of his words, made Shigaraki flinch, but this time, he didn’t argue. Like it or not, Midoriya was right. He did know and understand it. He’d done a lot of things to drag heroes out and put them in life-threatening situations. Even as a vigilante, he’d been all too eager to paint heroes in a bad light because the League was cleaning up the messes they made or left behind.

Hell, he had put Uraraka in this position a few times. She hadn’t come out of their last fight unscathed either.

“I want to see her,” Shigaraki blurted out, grimacing as soon as the words left his mouth. It was stupid – the best thing he could probably do for her was staying as far away as possible – but even if Midoriya had told him she was fine, he would feel off-balance until he saw her for himself. He had to see her smile, hear that she didn’t blame him, just be able to reach out and feel the warmth of her skin saying that she was alive and okay and–

Fuck, he was such a goddamn idiot . Who was he?

As if sensing his confliction, Midoriya asked, “Are you sure?”

“No,” Shigaraki grumbled. “It’s probably a bad idea anyway.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because–” Why would she want to see him? She’d want to wake up to her friends, her family, her loved ones. Maybe she would want to see Yukiko, but he had a feeling Uraraka also wouldn’t want her to see her like that. It might scare or confuse her. Plus, Yukiko would want to crawl all over her, which she wouldn’t be able to do with Uraraka’s injuries and that would probably upset her too. What a mess. “I don’t belong there.”

“I think we both know there are arguments against that,” Midoriya told him. “Besides, I bet it would go a long way to show your support and concern. That’s got to count for some sort of growth, right?”

“Nice to know my concern is good for character development,” Shigaraki said dryly.

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Midoriya shot back. “Think about yourself a year ago, before you took in Yukiko. Would you have cared about anyone so much as to go visit them in the hospital? Even Touya. Would you have gone to see him or just told yourself it wasn’t that big of a deal and it wasn’t your place and then waited to see him after?”

Shigaraki’s brain practically halted. A year ago… Would he have gone to see Touya if he was hurt? He would’ve been concerned, sure. Or maybe “concern” wasn’t the right word. He wouldn’t have liked it. He would’ve thought about it. He would’ve been unsettled. But neither he nor Touya was skilled in showing outright concern, especially for each other. They gave the other space to do things on their own, which sometimes was what was wanted but not always what was needed.

The realization that he probably wouldn’t have even gone to see who he now had to admit was his closest companion stung him more deeply than he anticipated.

“You’ve come a long way,” Midoriya told him gently. “Your concern does show that.”

“You my therapist now?” Shigaraki grumbled, mad at being called out so pointedly.

“Would you rather call me a friend?” Midoriya asked somewhat mockingly. “Look, if you want to come, I can pick you up since I’m on my way to the hospital now. Shouto and I have been doing recovery all day, so we’ve been relying on updates from Mina.”

Shigaraki took a deep breath. “What if I’m not wanted there?”

“Uraraka wouldn’t say no to seeing you,” Midoriya said. “She’ll likely want to know you and Yukiko are okay the moment she wakes up and is coherent. She kept...asking about you...but I don’t know if she heard me when I told her you two got away.”

The image of her losing blood and still trying to make sure they were okay almost made Shigaraki throw his phone across the room. Why was she so good? Why did she care? Why did he want her to care about him? It was so selfish and pathetic. He’d felt uncomfortable and weak before, but never like this. It felt different. Shit like that had never been important to him. But here he was, thinking about how he just wanted her to be fine and they could hang out in his apartment together watching shitty movies or playing games or he’d come back and see her playing with Yukiko or fighting to get her to eat vegetables.

Man, no one had told him that character development would make him sound like such a whiny weakling. It hadn’t been long ago when he’d mocked people like that.

“And if anyone has a problem with you being there, they can speak with me first,” Midoriya added.

Shigaraki huffed. “Just warn me the moment her parents show up so I can bolt. I don’t need that awkward shit.”

“Not ready to meet mom and dad?”

“Shut the fuck up, Midoriya.”

Just because Uraraka was fine did not mean Midoriya had the right to joke like that. Even if it did lighten the mood on his end and Midoriya laughed, Shigaraki was not about to respond to such a comment. Hell no he didn’t want to meet her parents. It was awkward enough meeting Midoriya’s mom seeing as how he’d tried to kill her son more than a few times, and he was still confused about how he was supposed to act around Rei even though she seemingly took him into their family in stride. She wasn’t unfamiliar with former villains, at least. The last thing he wanted was to meet Uraraka’s parents. He could only imagine how much they hated him in part because of his history with her and also all that tabloid shit.

No, he just wanted to make sure she was fine with his own two eyes and then get the hell out of dodge. If he could avoid speaking with anyone else, even Mina and Todoroki, it would be a blessing. Get in, get the info, get out. Basically some sort of stealth mission, if he had to label it to make things less awkward. He was positive that Midoriya would convince everyone to give them some privacy, although Shigaraki didn’t like what that implied either. He could do it though. Avoid everyone else, see her, and then leave. It’d be a piece of cake.

*

It was not a piece of cake, seeing as how the first person Shigaraki spotted in the waiting room was Bakugou of all the fucking people in the world.

“Are you shitting me, Deku?” Bakugou exploded, stomping over to them.

Before Shigaraki could even get a word in, Midoriya stepped in front of him, creating a barrier between him and Bakugou, and held up his hands. “Not now, Kacchan. This is neither the time nor place to fight about this.”

“That bastard is the reason why Ochako is here!”

“You wanna tell her that?” Midoriya retorted. “Go on. I’m pretty sure she’d rip you a new one even after surgery.”

Although his statement forced Bakugou to hesitate, he barrelled through a moment later, pointing an accusing finger at Shigaraki over Midoriya’s shoulder. “I knew you were gonna drag her into your shit. I was worried that it’d just affect her career, but she almost died saving your worthless ass!”

“Kacchan!” Midoriya shoved back against his chest, keeping him away from Shigaraki. “Stop it!”

“Get out of my way, Deku!” Bakugou snapped. “He almost got her killed! If it wasn’t for him, she wouldn’t have been involved in this bullshit!”

“She was doing her job–”

“Fixing his shit isn’t her problem or her job!” Bakugou exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “First her career, now this. I warned her – I told her – but she wouldn’t listen. She’s too goddamn nice. But no, he’s gonna ruin her life, one way or another. Is that what you want? For all her hard work to go down the fucking drain because this bastard is dragging her down?”

Midoriya’s face screwed up. “That’s not–”

“See? This was the dumb shit I was talking about. Whatever. Just let him through.” Shigaraki held out his hands and grinned coldly. “This was a long-time coming anyways, so if he wants to slug me in the face so his piss poor ego will feel better, fine, let the brat.”

Bakugou narrowed his eyes. “I should’ve fucking kicked your ass at that shitty store.”

“Enough!” Todoroki yelled from behind them, shockingly loud despite the fact that they were already fighting. He swept past Shigaraki and Midoriya, grabbing Bakugou by the arm and yanking him back.

Bakugou grabbed Todoroki’s wrist, snarling, “Let go of me,” but Todoroki only tightened his grip and pulled him away even further. The cold fiery look in his eyes reminded Shigaraki so much of Touya that he almost let out a bark of laughter. It must’ve run in the family. How had they ever missed the fact that Touya was a Todoroki?

When Todoroki finally did let go of Bakugou, he practically threw his arm back at him and snapped, “You’re scaring the others in the waiting room. Is that the kind of picture you want to give?”

Shigaraki glanced around, inwardly wincing as he took in the scene. More than a handful of civilians, along with their family members, were in the waiting room, all of them standing or sitting as far away as they could. Considering the dust on their clothes and some of the scrapes marking their skin, they’d probably been in the area of the villain attack but hadn’t sustained serious enough injuries to require immediate attention. A few nurses were in the room, one of them with a cellphone in hand, and then a security guard at the doors.

Everyone was watching them, waiting for the fight and scared of what would happen. It had been a while since he’d been looked at with so much fear before. He didn’t like it at all.

“You’re a fucking hero, so act like it,” Todoroki said harshly. “You know damn well that Uraraka would be ashamed and furious right now if she saw you behaving like this when we all know you’re better.”

This time, when Bakugou halted and blinked, he didn’t explode again. In fact, he even retreated somewhat, rubbing his arm where a patch of ice had formed from Todoroki’s grip. “I’m not–”

“Trying to start a fight in a hospital in front of a bunch of nervous civilians?” Todoroki cut in. “You know you could get in serious trouble for this kind of behavior, right?”

“So what?” Bakugou demanded. “You’re defending him now too? I thought you hated him.”

“I’m not defending him.” Todoroki gestured to Shigaraki, not an ounce of softness in him. “Like it or not, he is considered a civilian now.” Bakugou opened his mouth, but Todoroki continued, “I know. Trust me, I’m not always happy about it either, but at least you don’t have to deal with him hanging out in your brother and sister’s apartment or having dinner with your family.”

To be fair, despite his obvious distaste, Shigaraki couldn’t even be mad at Todoroki. If anything, Todoroki’s brutal honesty was refreshing. He hadn’t suddenly flipped the script or changed his behavior to appease others. Fuyumi might’ve scolded him once or twice, but Shigaraki didn’t mind. Todoroki didn’t like him – probably didn’t even trust him – and that was fine. He didn’t have to like him; Shigaraki didn’t need him to like him. However, short of saying some blunt shit, he didn’t bother him either. He didn’t tell Touya or Fuyumi what to do; he didn’t tell Uraraka or Midoriya what to do.

He might’ve been a little shit, but at least Todoroki understood that people were free to make their own choices.

Bakugou wasn’t appeased, furrowing his brow in frustration. “Then you should understand! Thanks to him, wasn’t your sister put in danger too? Hell, even your brother, although I wouldn’t have minded Dabi getting his ass kicked.”

“Thanks to a villain, we had to take extra precautions,” Todoroki said flatly. “And thanks to a villain, Uraraka was hurt while trying to protect civilians, including a father and his daughter.” He folded his arms across his chest. Having not fully inherited his father’s massive build, he was on the smaller side compared to Bakugou, not quite as bulked up, but in this moment, Todoroki looked like he could probably knock the other guy unconscious in one hit. He was that firm in his stance. “Deal with it or get out. You’ll only upset Uraraka further, and she doesn’t need that.”

“Shouto is right,” Midoriya added, stepping forward. He still made sure to keep in front of Shigaraki, glancing back at him before returning his focus to Bakugou. “She needs our support. The last thing she needs or would want is to find out that we’re all fighting amongst each other. I’m not asking you to be friends with or forgive him – and I’m sure he doesn’t expect that either.”

“Hell no,” Shigaraki grunted. “I don’t give a damn what you think of me.”

Midoriya made a face, probably wishing that Shigaraki had simply kept his mouth shut, but then continued, “Exactly. No one is telling you to be buddy-buddy. We aren’t even like that, Kacchan. It’s fine.” Compared to Todoroki’s stony face and firm voice, Midoriya’s was smooth and gentle like water. They were a good pair to temper Bakugou’s explosive reactions, something that had made them a dangerous triad back in the day. “But fighting right now isn’t going to solve anything. It’s a bit selfish, don’t you think? We’re here for her, not our own egos.”

Finally, a light seemed to go off in Bakugou’s head. His furrowed brow faded, an almost thoughtful look crossing his face, as if he hadn’t even considered that fact. That wasn’t entirely true. Even Shigaraki had to admit that. Stubborn and arrogant as he was, he knew that Bakugou still cared about Uraraka in his own way. It might’ve been about two years since they’d broken up and he’d moved on, but they’d been close friends before that. Just as everyone in the League still meant something to Shigaraki, Uraraka still meant something to Bakugou, complicated as it was.

“Guys! She’s–” Mina froze and glanced around, having burst into the main room and walked in on what probably looked like a mess. A red-haired guy stood beside her, a worried look on his face as he stared at Bakugou, who avoided looking at either of them. “What’s going on?”

“I’m getting some air,” Bakugou grumbled before brushing past them and stomping out of the room.

Shigaraki, Midoriya, and Todoroki watched him go, but none of them said anything. To his credit, Bakugou didn’t even look his way upon passing by him. Shigaraki still wasn’t about to relax, not with him at his back, but at least he knew that the hero wouldn’t jump him, not with so many of his little hero friends against the idea. The fact that he was being protected yet again was not lost on Shigaraki, and it made him want to throw up.

The red-haired guy sighed. “I’ll go after him. He’s been a nervous wreck since we got the news.”

Midoriya sighed. “Thanks, Kirishima. Sorry to put this on you.”

Kirishima (ah, that was his name) shrugged. “It’s okay.”

Mina pat him on the arm. “He’s just upset. It’s understandable.”

“He can be upset and not punch me in the face,” Shigaraki muttered under his breath.

Glancing at him almost apologetically, Kirishima nodded and made his way out of the hospital, following in Bakugou’s footsteps. Once the doors shut, Shigaraki made his way over to an empty chair in the corner and plopped down into it, determined to be left on his own until they could go see Uraraka. This whole place and situation made him uncomfortable. His skin crawled with nerves, the urge to scratch his neck so powerful that he had to keep his gloves on. All he could do was glare at a fish tank.

He shouldn’t be here. Fuck, he didn’t know why he’d thought this was anywhere remotely close to a good idea. He didn’t belong here, just like he’d told Midoriya over the phone. Stuck in a hospital waiting room with a handful of heroes, friends who had grown up with her and knew firsthand what this kind of life was like. How many times had they done something like this before? Hell, he knew he’d put Midoriya in the hospital more than a few times, and then there was the time that Todoroki had nearly been killed and Touya lost his shit.

Who was he to think he belonged here? He could hear Uraraka scolding him now for thinking that way, but it was the truth. Even if it felt like another life, it hadn’t been that long since he’d been the threat – since he had been the one so determined to land them in the hospital or the morgue. And now he was...what? Worried about her? Anxiously waiting for news about her in the hospital? Wanted to see her?

You’re being selfish, that voice whispered again, making his stomach twist in disgust. You did this, so what makes you think you deserve to be here?

Before Shigaraki could make some shitty half-assed excuse and bolt out of the hospital, Midoriya appeared in front of him, a soft look on his face that pissed Shigaraki off even more. “Don’t let that get in your head, okay? It’s downright impossible to explain how Kacchan feels. I’m not even sure he fully understands it.”

“Whatever,” Shigaraki muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets and sinking further into the chair. “I don’t give a shit. I’m not here to be his emotional punching bag. He can deal with his shit on his own.”

“No one is expecting you to explain your reasons for being here either,” Midoriya told him. “I’m sure Uraraka will appreciate it.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Midoriya let out a breath and ran his fingers through his messy hair. It was still covered in dust from all the recovery work he’d been involved in today. Short of taking off his gloves and undoing the top buttons, he hadn’t changed out of his hero costume either, looking completely rumpled and exhausted. There was a dark stain on the front of his costume and his left sleeve that Shigaraki’s eyes forcibly skipped over. He’d been in the business long enough to know what dried blood stains looked like.

A better person – a good person – would’ve asked Midoriya if he was okay, but Shigaraki wasn’t that person.

“Mina said that Uraraka is awake,” Midoriya told him. His heart didn’t lodge itself in his throat. He didn’t even react, turning back to glare at the fish tank. “She’s a little groggy, but they’re allowing visitors. Did you want to…?”

Shigaraki waved a hand. “You go. I’ll wait.”

A frown crossed Midoriya’s dirty face. “Are you sure?”

“You’re one of her closest friends,” Shigaraki said. “I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing here.” He leaned forward, propping his elbow on his thigh, and rubbed his temple. “Fuck it. I might leave. I don’t know.”

To his credit, Midoriya didn’t argue with him this time. “Whatever you wanna do.”

With that, he turned and walked out of the waiting room with Todoroki. He was still in his hero costume as well, only having taken off his utility belt and undone the collar of his heat regulator. Shigaraki watched them go out of the corners of his eyes and then dropped his head, putting his face in his hands.

What was he doing here? He didn’t care what Midoriya said. He didn’t even particularly care what Bakugou said or thought, but his shouts kept ringing in his head. Was he ruining her life? Well, he’d actively tried before. Back in the day, he had been a terrifying figure, a monster that went bump in the night, a fucking murderer and terrorist. So what if he’d gone to jail and therapy? It didn’t erase anything.

He brought on nothing but decay and destruction before – and he still did it now.

Right as he was considering how much Uraraka would be mad at him for just bouncing – if she would even care – the front doors opened again. Shigaraki was prepared to glare at Bakugou again, but instead an older couple rushed into the room. He didn’t even need to hear the woman frantically ask the receptionist about Ochako Uraraka for him to know that they were her parents. Discomfort crawled up his spine, and he angled his body away from them, using a hand to hide the side of his face.

Midoriya had said it would take them a few hours to arrive, but it looked like he’d misjudged their timing. Shigaraki closed his eyes. He couldn’t be here. He didn’t want to be here. This was a mistake. He could hear her mom crying while her dad murmured reassurances, and then Bakugou was back, and they were talking to him. Yes, they were exes, but he was still a familiar face and his presence was comforting. Shigaraki could only imagine how they would react if they knew he was here. She’d never told him about how her parents responded to all that media bullshit.

The moment her parents, Bakugou, and Kirishima vanished behind the doors in the direction of Uraraka’s room, Shigaraki leaned back in the chair and fished his phone out of his pocket. He pulled up Midoriya’s contact info and shot off a quick text – Her parents are on the way up, tell her Yukiko is safe and uninjured with Touya and Fuyumi, I’m out of here, this was a fucking mistake – and then he practically slunk out of the hospital.

It was a thirty minute drive back to their apartment, and he was out here on his own, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t in a rush to get anywhere. While a part of him was desperate to get back to Yukiko, especially after the chaos of the day, he was also...too ashamed. He craved the comfort that she provided – because she loved him no matter what and thought he was good despite all his flaws – but it also made him feel sick to his stomach.

He couldn’t go back, not right now. The threat had been taken care of and was over. Uraraka had risked her life to save his – and she shouldn’t have been forced to go to such lengths for him and it frustrated him to know how much this bothered him. He shouldn’t care this much. She didn’t need him weighing her down. Fuck. It was better if he wandered around on his own for a bit. He needed to get out of his head. She should be with her family and friends. He didn’t belong in the hospital with her, and Yukiko deserved better than him. They all did.

(But at least she was okay. His messed up feelings didn’t matter so much. Angry, confused, and frustrated as he was, he could breathe knowing she was alive and would be fine. That was what really mattered in the end.)

Chapter 44: this ain't your regular slow burn

Notes:

It only took us 44 chapters and 300k words, but...here we are. I don't have much to say except that I wrote like 8k in the last three days if that says anything. I had so many other things to write, but welp, this chapter was CALLING me. I can't believe we made it here. I'm dying of laughter.

Chapter Text

Not too long ago, Shigaraki probably would’ve spent the next week or so avoiding Uraraka like the plague. Out of shame, humiliation, guilt, or frustration, he didn’t know. All of those negative emotions were stuck swirling inside of him like a tsunami building just off the coast. He might have done so if Touya hadn’t thrown a phone at his face the moment he showed back up at the apartment and snapped, “Call your fucking therapist.”

It was brusque and a little more than insulting – but also incredibly effective. Shigaraki didn’t want to admit that it helped him out, but the truth was that it did. It wasn’t lost on him what he could’ve been capable of had he received the proper help early on, even as far back as before his quirk manifested and he still had a family. All it took was one look at Yukiko sleeping on the couch for him to make the call and schedule an appointment the next day. Normally, he wouldn’t be able to get in so soon, but he’d never once asked to do so, and his therapist jumped on the opportunity.

See? He was reaching out. He was doing better.

No, he had to do better. It wasn’t an option, not with Yukiko in his life. If he was going to be her father – if he was going to keep her safe, happy, and healthy – he needed to make sure his own shit was together. He couldn’t be that messy monster anymore. He had to be more, even if it meant throwing himself into the fire. Unfortunately for him, healing could also be a painful process, and if he was going to grow, he needed to put in the work.

Gone were the days where he avoided shit until it blew up in his face or he destroyed it outright. His therapist assured him that these spirals and setbacks were perfectly normal – that they were, in fact, even good for him because it meant he was coming to terms with his past and understanding his actions. He had to accept all the ugly parts of himself and his history if he was going to move forward. He had to accept himself before he would be capable of letting anyone else in.

Or whatever other emotional shit his therapist spouted. It was honestly a lot and he was dead tired after a two-hour session, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a little relieved too.

So he hadn’t gone to see Uraraka in the end or personally thanked her for what she’d done. He would; he just honestly needed time to recover and adjust himself. And at least he’d gone to the hospital. It was a hell of a step, all things considered. Things were so weird right now. He still couldn’t go back to work. He crashed at Touya’s two nights in a row despite being able to go back to his own place. Touya didn’t even question him on the matter or complain and, suspiciously enough, had two nights in a row off as well.

A little over three days after the whole shitshow went down, Shigaraki found himself returning to his apartment, Yukiko asleep in his arms. He was pretty sure she was drooling on his shoulder, but he didn’t care. He awkwardly shoved his suitcase into the apartment with his foot and then stepped inside, turning on the lights despite not wanting to wake her up. He laid her down on the couch, did a quick check of the apartment, and then carefully laid her down in her bed. For once, she didn’t wake up, probably exhausted by the upheaval of the last few days.

As soon as she was down, Shigaraki shuffled into the living room and collapsed on the couch, sinking into the cushions and throwing an arm over his eyes. Fuck, he was tired. Touya had offered to come with him to check out the apartment (okay, Fuyumi had needled him), but as precautious as he should’ve been, Shigaraki had just wanted to go back home. It was really the first time since he’d had an attachment to a place. He hadn’t even cared for the bar all that much.

But no, this was his home. This was Yukiko’s home. It was where he could raise her – where he could be a good father, a semi-decent friend, someone more than Tomura Shigaraki, former League of Villains and vigilante leader. He could actually be...Tenko Shimura here. He hadn’t really thought of himself that way in a long time.

Taking a deep breath, Shigaraki pulled his arm off his face and then fished his phone out of his jacket pocket. He took off his gloves, tossing them onto the coffee table, and then propped his feet up on the edge. Pulling up Uraraka’s chat in his text messages was easy. Coming up with something to say was a much different story. He spent a few minutes waffling about it, writing stuff and then deleting it, before he finally hit the send button and cursed himself out. It didn’t matter what he said; he’d feel uncomfortable either way.

Still in the hospital?

A few minutes later, Uraraka responded back: Actually about to get discharged. Just waiting.

It was a more abrupt response than he was used to from her, lacking her usual warmth and friendliness that somehow managed to pervade through the phone. Still, even as his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach, he couldn’t deny a bit of relief too. At least she’d responded to him. Then again, she wasn’t the type to avoid people. She might set her feelings aside for the sake of others and her job, but she didn’t push away people as far as he could tell.

She would’ve been within her right, of course, seeing as how they hadn’t spoken since the attack and he hadn’t visited her in the hospital. Honestly, if she chewed him out or was hurt about that, he wouldn’t get frustrated. He might’ve felt a little better if she reamed him.

When she didn’t respond further, Shigaraki knew he had two options: he could leave it be – leave her be – or he could push the conversation forward. She might want him to leave her alone, and if she did ignore him or tell him she didn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t argue. However, she was almost always the one reaching out to him when he pulled back. As his therapist said, if he really wanted to improve his relationships with other people – if he wanted to make them work – he would have to do his part on the other end of the bridge.

He couldn’t wait for people to cross the bridge to reach him before he burned it altogether or let it decay. He had to show people that they were important to him too and not just for how they helped him in his life.

How are you feeling?

Is that concern I’m sensing?

Ah, that was better. A little more playful. Shigaraki admittedly had to fight the urge to grin as he texted back: Well, you ARE my best babysitter.

I see how it is. :P

And apparently my bodyguard.

I don’t think so. I’m here to protect civilians and, by default, you. Unless you’re actually offering to pay me. Then I might consider it as a side gig.

Getting arrogant, are we?

I did just take down a nasty villain. Haven’t you seen the news?

He had. Although he had done his best to avoid it before, after that day, he’d spent far too much time scouring the internet for any news. Uravity was all over the place – and this time, it was for her actual job. Instead of the girl who was seen trouncing about town with a former villain, she was the hero who saved the day. Pictures of her going head-to-head with Chisaki while in her civilian clothes were circulating the internet. She looked like a certified badass. People had been clamoring to interview her, but she’d declined them so far, releasing only a few brief statements.

You should take advantage of this. Could help boost your rank and get you a pay raise.

Probably. But I’m not really feeling it.

Why not?

The pause in her response made Shigaraki’s stomach twist. Before, he might not have asked her to elaborate, but he wanted to know. This was the perfect opportunity for her, especially when her rank had been affected after all those bullshit stories about her were published. She could even surpass her own rank if she utilized the media right. That was what many heroes did. They used their deeds to gain popularity and fame. It wouldn’’t have been strange for her to do the same.

Instead, she finally said: Because I guess this was a little more personal than me just doing my job, and I don’t want to talk about that with the public.

And Shigaraki couldn’t explain the relief that flooded through him.

Yukiko is okay. I figured Midoriya told you but she’s fine. She was scared and confused but she’s okay now. Just tired. It’s been a long ass week.

Deku told me.

It was another short response, but he got the feeling it was more due to not knowing what to say. There was a lag in the conversation where Shigaraki hesitated, but then he saw the ellipses show up from where Uraraka was typing and waited. He could be patient. It was something he’d been forced to learn while in prison.

I don’t want to be presumptuous. You didn’t come to the hospital or bring her and that’s fine. Maybe it’s for the best. It might’ve scared or confused her.

You can come over tomorrow. Shigaraki didn’t even wait for her second text message. He knew what she was asking. She wanted to see Yukiko for herself. It made perfect sense, seeing as how he wanted to see her and he knew that Yukiko would be happy as well. If you want.

Yeah I want to see her. You too. Deku told me you were hurt?

Just a few cuts. Nothing major. Practically healed up by now. No scars.

For once. The wounds from the broken glass hadn’t cut deep enough. Even if they had, he wouldn’t have cared as long as Yukiko was safe. She was unharmed, so that was all that mattered.

What time would be good for you?

Well seeing as how I still can’t go back to work…
Just text me in advance. We’ll be here.

Miss your place?

I did. Would never have expected that before.

A part of Shigaraki thought he should officially end the conversation, but this was already a reach for him. She’d probably suspect he hit his head, was being put up to this, or it wasn’t even him texting her if he did even more shit out of character. Still, it wasn’t like he’d never reached out to her before. They’d had a lot of text conversations and phone calls that he’d started for no reason. This one just felt...different. As his therapist said, eventually people would get tired of being the ones reaching out to him. He needed to show effort too.

Ugh, it was so exhausting. His therapist had warned him that making himself more emotionally available would wear him out, but he hadn’t thought it would be this bad.

In fact, before he even realized what was happening, he ended up drifting off to sleep on the couch with his phone still in his hand. When he woke up two hours later with the lights still on, disorientated and irritated, he was surprised to find his phone still intact. Pulling himself off the couch, he checked the apartment and Yukiko again, tested the door, and turned off all the lights before shuffling into his bedroom. Within minutes of flopping onto his bed, he was asleep again, the side of his face smashed into his pillow and his feet hanging over the edge.

A bed never felt so good.

*

The next morning, Shigaraki woke up to Yukiko shouting, “Dada!” at the top of her lungs. 

He bolted out of bed, nearly tripping over his feet, and staggered into her bedroom before realizing that he hadn’t even bothered changing out of his clothes from the day before. Yukiko was excitedly jumping in her crib, a huge smile on her face. Guess he wasn’t the only one pleased to be back home.

“Dada! Dada! Dada!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” Shigaraki grumbled as he dug around her room for a change of clothes. They weren’t going anywhere so he didn’t need to pick some elaborate or cute matching outfit. Besides, at one, she didn’t particularly care what she wore. Honestly, she’d probably be happier running around naked, which he’d sometimes done during the summer when it was hot as hell. At this apartment, no one could judge him.

After finally deciding on a dress (because it made things so much easier to deal with), he picked her up out of her crib and carried her out into the living room. He quickly changed her on the floor, throwing her diaper into the trash and her dirty clothes into her room on the floor, and then helped her back to her feet. A second later, she was off, toddling away to the nearest toy in her line of sight. He propped his hands behind him and leaned back, watching her happily play on her own. Oh, to be that carefree.

It was nice though. The few memories of his childhood had been tainted with anxiety. He could look back now and recognize himself as an anxious kid. His mom had tried very hard and his grandparents had been kind to him and his sister Hana was his best friend, but that nervousness had never left him. His dad’s presence was a shadow on the house, even when he wasn’t home, that little Tenko could never quite shake.

When Yukiko found the bag of blocks that he sometimes hid from her so she wouldn’t make a mess, he knew it was game over. She dragged them out as best as she could, tripping over her own feet and falling on her ass, but that didn’t stop her. A minute later, she managed to knock over the bag and dump half its contents out onto the floor. Picking up after her was so tiring and boring, to the point where he sometimes left toys sitting around on the floor for nearly a week, but those damn blocks were obnoxious.

If Shigaraki didn’t know any better, he’d say Kaminari got them purposely to irritate him.

“Blocks!” Yukiko exclaimed, pointing at the mess on the floor.

“Yup, those are blocks,” Shigaraki intoned.

Yukiko made a face and pointed again. “Blocks!”

Shigaraki sighed. “Okay, okay, I’ll play with the fucking blocks.”

With absolutely no grace, he scooted closer toward her. The second he picked up two blocks and put them together, Yukiko’s face lit up and she clapped excitedly. Yup, that was what she’d wanted. Despite the fact that she couldn’t string full sentences together yet and had a very limited vocabulary, he was pretty good at figuring out what she wanted most of the time. Not all the time, but usually, which seemed good enough for her.

Twenty minutes later, Shigaraki was bored off his ass, so he did his best to sneak off. Yukiko either didn’t notice or care, too happy with the tall castle he’d built for her. He meandered to the kitchen, trying to find something to eat. Since they hadn’t been home for a while, he hadn’t grocery shopped, which meant their options were limited, but he found some rice in the cabinet and eggs in the fridge that seemed okay. They were two things Yukiko loved to eat, so he whipped up a quick dish while she played.

Cooking was...an experience. It was something he’d never done while being raised by All For One, and he certainly hadn’t done it upon forming the League of Villains. Looking back on it, Shigaraki had to wonder how he managed to eat most of the time, but then Kurogiri was there for most of his childhood and teenage years. Food just sort of appeared, and he never questioned it. Sometimes he ate. Sometimes he didn’t and the food would go to waste. As an adult, he learned to fend for food, but he’d never really cooked. Then, in prison, the meals were always prepared for them.

It wasn’t until he’d gotten out and found his own place that he’d realized he didn’t know shit about cooking. He’d managed to figure out a few dishes thanks to Fuyumi’s help – and nearly throttled Touya when he found out the bastard actually knew how to cook when he never did while in the League – but for the most part, he stuck to instant food and takeout. He really didn’t start cooking until Yukiko started eating solids, and he realized it was sometimes easier to stay home and eat than go pick up food.

She had changed so much about his life, down to the smallest of details. It was honestly insane when he had a moment to think about it.

The rest of the day went by at a snail’s pace, but honestly, Shigaraki didn’t mind. Despite sleeping for nearly ten hours the night before, his body and mind still felt lethargic. Yukiko seemed to have more energy than him, but she was content to play with her toys almost entirely on her own. There were times when she insisted he play with her and then a rocky moment before lunch when she decided he wasn’t being fast enough. Other than that, it was the most well-behaved she’d been in a while.

All in all, the whole day was kind of weird, just the two of them in a little bubble away from the world. He didn’t turn on the TV to look at the news and didn’t look anything up on his phone. He read a graphic novel Kaminari had given him while she napped after lunch and responded back to a text from Fuyumi checking up on him (and ignored one from Midoriya because he just wasn’t in the mood), but he didn’t even boot the TV to game. He just...wanted to be away from everything for a bit.

Did he glance at his phone every now and then to see if Uraraka had texted him? Maybe a few times, all of which made him grumpy, but then they’d never specified a time. This was her first day back home too after being in the hospital for over three days. Plus, she was bound to be sore. She might’ve needed some time to readjust too. He had to be patient. He hated it, but damn if it wasn’t the mature thing to do.

Kurogiri would’ve been so proud of him.

It didn’t really hurt to think about him anymore, although Shigaraki could admit to missing him. He had before when Kurogiri was arrested. Life had been much more difficult without the use of his warpgate quirk, but it wasn’t until he was gone that Shigaraki realized how much he’d grown to depend on his guidance and voice. It wasn’t fair to him, of course, seeing as how he’d never been given a choice about his...life. Finding that out had been strange, and he had fully expected Kurogiri to turn on him in the end, but…

He hadn’t. Not for the first time, Shigaraki wondered what had happened to him. He hadn’t seen him since the trials, and contact was completely lost. It had been for the best – for Kurogiri or whatever he was going by these days – but now that Yukiko was in his life, it was impossible not to think about him more. All for One might’ve played the role of Sensei, but Kurogiri had been practically designed to be his caretaker. He’d taught him things; he’d raised him in a sense. How would he respond to Shigaraki raising a child on his own?

Shigaraki set a toy car aside and leaned against the back of the couch. Now he remembered why he often kept himself distracted with games or books or whatever he could get his hands on. Too much silence allowed for more thoughts to creep into his mind, and such a slow, quiet day meant he had a lot of time to think – too much time. He hadn’t thought this much about Kurogiri in a while. And once he began to think about one former companion, his mind would undoubtedly lead him down the rabbit hole to others – like Toga and Jin, neither of whom he’d seen since the trials as well.

He didn’t even know how they would respond to Yukiko. Shocked, confused, excited? Trying to picture them around her didn’t fit, two pieces of his life that no longer went together. Touya and Iguchi only managed to fit because they had stuck around. There was a bridge with them. Shigaraki didn’t really know what Toga and Jin were like after years of therapy and psychiatric help. Even with some letters here and there from them, he could only picture them as before, and it was odd to think of that around Yukiko now.

Out of their group, weird and fucked up as they were, dangerous and violent as they could be, Toga and Jin were the brightest of them, maybe the warmest. Jin thought of them as a family and Toga loved making them happy. They truly enjoyed being around them and supporting each other. Strange things for a villain, but that was them. They probably would love Yukiko in their own way.

“Dada!” Yukiko said sharply, sounding like she was reprimanding him. “Car!”

He glanced her way and snorted when he found her angrily furrowing her little brow. She didn’t get mad often, but when she was, she went out of her way to make sure people knew it. Almost everyone who had seen her mad said she had his glare. Even Todoroki mentioned it offhand. From the way she was gesturing with the car, she was mad that he’d stopped playing. To be honest, he wasn’t particularly in the mood to entertain her, but she’d also spent the majority of the day playing on her own.

For as many crazy and ridiculous moments as there were, being a parent could also be terribly dull.

Shigaraki rubbed his temple. “Dad’s done.”

“Car!” Yukiko insisted.

He narrowed his eyes. “No. You play.”

Yukiko took a deep breath through her nose and then shouted, “No! Car !”

Shigaraki opened his mouth, ready to repeat himself, but then stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he seriously arguing out loud with a one-year-old? Well, she seemed to understand the concept of “yes and no,” but she hadn’t quite yet grasped when he was tired or not in the mood. Stuff like that didn’t matter to her. All she knew was that it wasn’t what she wanted, so she was mad. Everyone said she was such a happy baby, but they didn’t know she could have a temper on her. God, when she was pissed, she was loud. Sometimes, she’d cry to the point where she couldn’t breathe and her cheeks were nearly as red as her eyes.

A bit like now. He could see her gearing up for it, taking another deep breath. Then his phone began to buzz, and she stopped as they both looked at it rumbling around on the floor.

After picking it up and glancing at the name on the screen, Shigaraki showed it to Yukiko even though he knew she couldn’t read. “It’s Uraraka. Happy now?”

Seeing as how Yukiko’s face immediately lit up, she must have been. “Ura!” she exclaimed, jumping up and down while waving the car about. She had such a pitiful vertical, her toes still touching the ground, so he wasn’t sure if he could call it jumping exactly. “Ura! Ura! Ura!”

“Uh huh,” Shigaraki muttered as he answered the call and held the phone to his ear. “Yeah?”

“Well, gee, hello to you too,” Uraraka shot back dryly. “Still okay for me to come over?”

“Someone tagging in would be a relief.”

“Need to regain your HP?”

Shigaraki groaned, and she laughed. All those times he’d made fucking gaming puns when he was a villain… He was starting to realize how lame he’d actually sounded. Like a fucking murderous nerd. Why had he ever thought he sounded cool? He’d really just run around terrorizing Japan, specifically a handful of high schoolers, making video game puns. Reflecting didn’t just mean facing his bad deeds; it also meant facing his idiot past self.

“Just come over whenever,” Shigaraki told her, trying to move on from his embarrassing memories. “We’re not doing anything. Yukiko would probably love to see your face instead of mine right now.”

To emphasize his point, Yukiko clambered into his lap and struggled to reach for his phone. “Ura!”

“I know, I know– Ow! That hurt!” Shigaraki awkwardly moved Yukiko off his lap. She’d stepped on his leg and slipped, pinching his skin, and fuck, if that hadn’t been painful. Yukiko didn’t care, still fighting to take the phone from him.

Uraraka snickered on her end. “I’ll come over now.”

He ended the call and set his phone aside, which only served to upset Yukiko because he hadn’t let her shout into the speaker. No matter how many times he told her that Uraraka was coming over, she continued to cry because she hadn’t spoken to her personally or babbled to her or whatever. Nothing could appease her until he dug around the kitchen and found one of her favorite snacks. It was after dinner, and he really wasn’t supposed to be feeding her this late, but he was willing to do whatever to calm her down.

Parenthood was about compromising and bargaining as much as it was raising and teaching. Maybe it was more about bribing. All those articles he’d read in the middle of the night when Yukiko was little and refused to sleep anywhere but his chest had been utterly useless in the end.

Around thirty minutes later when he was in the middle of changing Yukiko’s diaper, there was a knock at his door. Of course she was being difficult as fuck, squirming around and kicking her legs. He needed to get her into her pajamas, but that wasn’t going to happen easily. Giving up on her for the moment, he set her down in just her diaper and then promptly stepped on a block in his rush to answer the door.

“Fuck!” Shigaraki hopped around, but that did nothing to alleviate the sharp pain. “Fuck, shit, fuck!”

Yukiko clapped cheerfully. “Fuck! Shit!”

“Goddamnit,” Shigarki growled, rubbing the sole of his foot. Holy shit, why did it hurt so much to step on a single lego? They should’ve just attacked heroes with legos – thrown them on the ground for the heroes to fall onto or step on and then watch and laugh as they writhed in pain. This was potentially worse than being stabbed, and he’d had that happen a few times. The only thing that rivaled it was probably getting shot by Snipe, and even then he’d just laid on the ground in the bar bleeding out.

On the other side of the door, Uraraka’s muffled voice asked, “Everything okay in there?”

Shigaraki set his sore foot down and ripped open the door, revealing a wide-eyed Uraraka with a hand raised to knock on the door again. “No, my daughter set up fucking landmines in the form of legos and tried to murder me.”

Pressing her lips together to keep herself from laughing, Uraraka swept into the apartment and said, “Well, isn’t that clever of her?”

Shutting the door and locking it, Shigaraki kicked aside a lego laying precariously next to him. He wasn’t about to get hurt again. “This is direct retaliation to me making her eat vegetables for dinner.”

Uraraka mock-gasped. “No, Yukiko always eats her vegetables without complaint!”

“Maybe with you and Fuyumi,” Shigaraki complained.

“She just knows you and Touya will give in.” Uraraka bent down and picked up Yukiko, swinging her in the air. “Hello, baby girl! I missed you!”

Yukiko laughed loudly and pawed at Uraraka’s face. “Mama!”

To her credit, Uraraka’s face only flushed a little, but neither one of them said anything. They’d both tried multiple to correct her to absolutely no avail. She usually stuck with “Ura”, but every now and then, the dreaded “m-word” came out of her mouth and neither one of them knew what to do. Thank fucking everything she hadn’t said it around anyone else so far, but he knew, sooner or later, she would when someone else was with them, and they would lose their mind. He honestly didn’t know who would be worse: Touya, Kaminari, Midoriya, or All Might.

Hell, it didn’t matter. He’d dig his own grave and jump in when that happened either way.

Uraraka hugged Yukiko close, swaying back and forth. “God, it feels so good to see her. Deku told me she was okay – that you were both okay – but I had to see her for myself, you know?”

Shigaraki looked away. “Yeah, I know.”

Classic hero shit. She’d nearly fucking died, and she was probably sitting in the hospital worried about someone who had gotten away safely. It was stupid. She should be worrying about herself. There was no sense in being so damn self-sacrificing. This was the second time he’d seen her put herself directly in harm’s way for other people. It had been months, but he still couldn’t get the image of her passing out and nearly collapsing into the river after holding up that bridge.

How much had she held up while fighting Chisaki? It hadn’t been all at once, but fighting with her quirk on and off had to take a different sort of toll on her. Peering at her out of the corners of his eyes, he couldn’t help but notice the slight shadows under her eyes. She moved a little slower, shifting Yukiko in her arms before carefully sitting down on the couch. He thought he saw her wince briefly when Yukiko leaned into her chest, but she didn’t say anything or complain, not like he had when Yukiko stepped on his leg awkwardly.

“You okay?” Shigaraki forced himself to ask.

“What?” Uraraka blinked, tearing her eyes away from Yukiko. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. A little sore still, but the doctors said that’ll go away in a week or so. I’m on medical leave for now.”

“That happen often?”

Uraraka shrugged. “Every few months probably. Depends on what I’m doing and how foolish I’m feeling.” She tossed him a careless smile. “I guess I was really feeling it this week. Todoroki was right: maybe I was looking for a fight.”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. “You? Nah, you seemed calm to me.”

“I wish,” Uraraka groaned, sinking back into the couch so Yukiko could stand on her thighs. “I think I damn near drove Shinsou crazy looking for information. Since he works underground, he was our best source. We found out a lot of stuff about Chisaki’s building network thanks to him, but it wasn’t enough. I just wanted to…”

“End it?” Shigaraki finished for her.

Uraraka bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah, I figured it wouldn’t end until he was captured or…” Or worse. She wouldn’t like to talk about it, but it wasn’t like heroes weren’t completely without blood on their hands. There was a reason he had been so against heroes in the first place. “And I was so fucking mad . You’re just trying to live your life and do better, and then Yukiko’s life was in danger, and I just… I saw red.”

A smirk pulled at Shigaraki’s lips. “Haven’t seen you this worked up since we all last gamed.”

“That’s because Kaminari cheats, and I know it,” Uraraka huffed.

“Well, it’s over now,” Shigaraki said. “Until the next time an old enemy decides I’m an easy target now.”

Uraraka let out a sigh. “You think so?”

Shigaraki shook his head. “I don’t know, but it’s something I have to consider. We made a lot of enemies. To be honest, I’m not positive a hero won’t come after me next.”

A scowl crossed Uraraka’s face. “They better not, or they’ll regret it.”

With a wave of his hand, Shigaraki snorted. “Could be your ex, from the looks of it.”

“Ugh, please, don’t say things like that,” Uraraka moaned dramatically, dropping her head back against the couch. “That was so embarrassing! I could’ve killed him when I found out what happened at the hospital if I wasn’t on so much medication.”

Shigaraki sighed. “If only.” She shot him an unimpressed look, and he shrugged. “I’m just saying. I wouldn’t miss him getting in my face.”

“I’m really sorry about that,” Uraraka told him. “I know Katsuki can get intense when he’s upset, but–”

“Eh, it’s not your fault,” Shigaraki cut in. “And to be fair, he has every reason to hate me.”

“I know, but…” Uraraka took a deep breath and bounced Yukiko on her legs. “I promise it won’t happen again. I made him swear he would leave you alone.”

“You think he will?”

“He’ll listen to me,” Uraraka said. “I know he seems like a stubborn asshole – and he kind of is, sometimes – but I know he means well too.” She sighed and swept Yukiko’s hair out of her face. “He trusted me. I could always count on that.”

Trust went a long way, but sometimes fear could override it. He didn’t understand that until he actually began to trust people – until somewhere along the way, other people actually became important. How many times had he nearly lost the others in the League? By all accounts, at least one of them should’ve died, but they didn’t. There had been plenty of close calls (not the mention how much Touya hurt himself in the long run), but they were alive. He hadn’t really felt that fear again until Yukiko, and now it was ten times worse.

Nearly losing Uraraka had brought some very uncomfortable realizations to the front of his mind that he could no longer ignore no matter how hard he tried.

“C’mon, let’s get you in your jammies,” Uraraka said. “You don’t want to be a nakey baby all night.”

If it was up to Yukiko, she’d probably be naked all the damn time. In the sanctity of their apartment, he sometimes allowed it if it was too hot, but he wasn’t about to let that happen in public. He could only imagine what other parents would say about him. He watched as Uraraka set Yukiko on the couch and then pushed herself to her feet before turning and lifting Yukiko into her arms again. It was only a slight difference, one other people might’ve missed, but he could feel it the way she moved.

Following them partially into Yukiko’s room, Shigaraki leaned against the threshold and asked, “You mind if I run to the store real quick? Turns out we basically have no food.”

“Oh, yeah, go right ahead!” Uraraka said while she dug around Yukiko’s mess of a dresser. He’d been telling himself for the past month that he’d organize it and get rid of all the clothes that didn’t fit her anymore, but, well… Whatever. He’d get there eventually. “We’ll have fun while you’re gone, won’t we?”

Now that Uraraka was here, he might as well have been nonexistent to Yukiko. The little traitor. Eh, it came in handy. This way, he could go to the store without a fight. Shigaraki pulled on a jacket, his gloves, and shoes, then snagged his keys and wallet and was out the door. The quicker, the better. He didn’t want to be out for long, but he also figured Uraraka would appreciate some alone time with Yukiko, whether she realized it or not. The relief and happiness she felt was palpable, so obvious when she held her.

He owed Uraraka as much to give her the time she needed too. For a lot of shit, if he was being honest.

It’s hard but important to be honest with yourself first, his therapist had said.

Yeah, no shit. It sucked. But here he was, being honest and trying not to hate himself for it.

*

Even though he wasn’t gone for long, by the time Shigaraki returned to the apartment, Yukiko was already asleep. He was almost offended. While it had taken him almost an hour to get her down for a nap, it had taken only about thirty minutes for her to pass out even with her excitement. They were laying on the couch together, Uraraka slumped over in a way that would probably hurt her once she woke up, Yukiko laying on her chest. Yukiko’s mouth was wide open as she breathed gently, drooling a bit on Uraraka’s shirt.

Even though he tried to be quiet, the moment he shut the front door, Uraraka stirred awake, blinking in the light. When she moved to straighten up, a grimace flickered across her face, but she didn’t say a word, and he didn’t bring it up. It was clear she didn’t want any attention drawn to her injuries. He could understand that. He’d been much the same. Pity was something neither of them liked or wanted.

“Sorry,” Uraraka murmured as she shifted Yukiko in her arms. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She rubbed her bleary eyes. “I shouldn’t have come over so late, but I was so damn busy today.”

“Eh, doesn’t matter.” Shigaraki worked on shoving the groceries into the fridge and cupboards as quickly as possible. He used to let them sit around for over an hour before he could work up the energy to put them up, so he’d learned to do it faster before his motivation came to an end.

When he was finished, he walked over to the couch and held out his hands, but Uraraka hesitated and insisted, “I can put her to bed.”

Shigaraki didn’t say anything. He just gave her a flat look. Taking a deep breath (that looked a little forced), Uraraka held Yukiko away from her chest so he could take her. The transfer was a little awkward since Uraraka struggled to lift her up, but fortunately for them, Yukiko was a damn heavy sleeper once she was out for the night. She must have inherited that from him. He carried her to her room and laid her down in her crib. She rolled onto her side and then went still again, and he let out a breath.

Upon returning to the living room, Shigaraki found Uraraka hunched over with her face in her hands. He frowned. She must have been more exhausted than he realized. She had mentioned something about today being busy. More than likely, she had been frustrated with being stuck in a hospital bed for three days and wanted to do things, which probably meant that she’d overworked herself.

“You didn’t have to come over if you were this tired,” Shigaraki pointed out.

Uraraka popped upright and started, “No, I–” But then cut herself off, a hand racing to touch her side. She took a deep breath through her nose and then let it out slowly. “I wanted to come over. I’m just irritated that I didn’t come over until her bedtime.”

“Oh, I’m not mad,” Shigaraki said airily. “You got the responsibility of getting her to sleep.”

“It wasn’t that hard,” Uraraka said. “I think I fell asleep first.”

“Taking any pain medication? That’s bound to make you tired.”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t need it.”

“Stubborn,” Shigaraki scoffed.

“They make my head foggy!” Uraraka insisted with a pout.

After turning off the living room light, Shigaraki walked over to the couch and dropped on the other side. After a full day of damn near no electronics, he turned on the television. “You don’t have to stay.”

Uraraka eyed him sideways. “Kicking me out already?”

“No,” Shigaraki shot back. “I’m just saying.” He paused, mindlessly flipping through the channels without actually seeing what was on them. It wasn’t like he was actually thinking about what to watch. It was just a distraction, something he could do while his mind tried to push him to do something else. “But I wouldn’t mind it if you did.”

With a slight smile on her face, Uraraka pulled her legs up and held them against her chest. “I can stay, but only if you have something good to watch. They didn’t have any of the good channels at the hospital.”

He had a feeling she wasn’t particularly focused on what was on the television either. There was something hanging in the air between them – you know, besides the whole “she almost died protecting him” thing – that neither one of them were willing to touch until the other brought it up. Besides bringing up his argument with Bakugou, she hadn’t really mentioned the fact that he had gone to the hospital but hadn’t seen her. A part of him regretted not going through with it, but he was still insistent that it wasn’t his place.

This was his place though – literally – so he couldn’t avoid everything. Plus, he was trying to be better about that.

To be quite honest, Shigaraki picked a movie completely at random. It was already a fourth of the way in, and he was pretty sure they had both seen it, but she didn’t complain when he set the remote aside. They didn’t talk for the first twenty minutes at least, both of them strangely absorbed in watching the movie to avoid talking, but the longer they watched it, the more discomfort wormed its way into his gut. He hadn’t felt like this around her in a while, but he could also sense her own nerves, something she normally either hid or didn’t feel.

Finally, in the middle of an intense fight scene, Uraraka blurted out, “I’m not mad.” He glanced at her sideways, but she wasn’t looking at him. “That you didn’t visit me at the hospital, I mean. I was a little bummed at first, sure, but then Deku and I talked, and I...I understand why you didn’t feel comfortable.”

“I wasn’t welcome,” Shigaraki said.

“I know,” Uraraka admitted quietly, tucking her chin on top of her knees.

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. “I still could’ve texted you or – I don’t know – sent a card or something.”

Uraraka snorted. “I would’ve died laughing if you sent a card. I can only imagine what it would say.”

“Thanks for doing your job I guess?” Shigaraki suggested.

“You’re okay for a hero.”

“Glad you’re not dead. That would’ve sucked.”

It shouldn’t have been funny and was definitely dark, but Uraraka laughed regardless. “How sweet of you. Glad to know you care so much about me.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything in return. He did care about her. It was...unfortunate. His therapist had essentially forced him to admit it out loud. He cared about Touya too and still felt strangely responsible for him and his growth despite the fact that they were supposed to be equals and just civilians now. He cared about Fuyumi and how much fucking emotional baggage he and Touya laid on her shoulders. He could admit to caring about Kaminari, even back when they were just a couple of dumb kids.

He really cared about Yukiko. He hadn’t known it was possible to care so much about one person. It made him sick to his stomach sometimes, as stupid as that sounded. He didn’t know how a person could care for someone so much that it stressed them out, but even on good days where everything went right, he sometimes stopped to think about all the things that could go wrong.

His asshole dad aside, he’d had everything going for him – a loving mother, doting grandparents, a close sister, a home, a future. In a matter of seconds, all of it had been gone. He’d destroyed it. Everything he touched had turned to rot and dust, and it would continue to do so. That was what All for One told him he was good for. He was only good for evil. He would break society. He would take down everything and everyone with him. He could only destroy.

So how could he possibly raise a child in a world completely opposite of what he was capable of?

I have to believe I can do better, Shigaraki told himself. I have to be more.

It wasn’t like he could change over the course of a few days. He’d been changing for months, slowly evolving and understanding, but it still didn’t feel like enough. He had leagues to go before he’d be pleased, but he supposed that was the point of growing. If he grew complacent in his growth, he wouldn’t go anywhere. He could always stand to improve somehow. It was boring and painful and made him want to tear out his hair, but hell, he wasn’t here to coast. He didn’t want to hold anyone back, not even himself.

“I would’ve been bothered if something really did happen to you,” Shigaraki said during a quiet part of the movie.

The corner of Uraraka’s lips twitched upward. “Bothered.”

Shigaraki frowned. “Upset, furious, whatever you want to call it. And I was. When Touya said you were down, I didn’t know what to do. Everything just…” He gestured vaguely with a hand. “It was like static was in my head.” He dropped his hand on the couch. “I’m really not good at this shit.”

“No, you aren’t,” Uraraka said, a hint of amusement in her voice. “It’s fine. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“No, I think I do, because–” Shigaraki hesitated when Uraraka peered at him curiously.

Because why? This shouldn’t have been so damn difficult. Surely other people didn’t struggle this much when they wanted to convey some sort of positive feelings toward another person. Midoriya certainly didn’t. It was so damn easy for him to laugh and smile and tell others that he cared for them from the bottom of his big dumb heart. Shigaraki had even seen Todoroki act warmly with Uraraka, smiling and laughing at things she said when he was normally so flat with other people. Fuck, Touya was terrible with emotions, but it was undeniable that he loved his sister and mother.

Why was he so damn bad at this? (Okay, that was a trick question.) Was Yukiko going to grow up wondering her whole life if he actually loved her because he could never express it or say it out loud? Shit, now was not the time to start panicking about how he struggled with that.

“You’re–” Shigaraki fought the urge to clench his hands into fists. “Important.”

Uraraka tilted her head. “To Yukiko?”

“Well, yeah,” Shigaraki huffed. “But...you know.”

“I know what?”

“Seriously?” Shigaraki burst, throwing his hands in the air. “Do I really have to spell it out for you? Fuck, I don’t know whether you’re being difficult on purpose or actually don’t know.” He leaned forward and hid his face in his hands, mirroring the posture he’d found her in earlier. When he sat upright, he turned to face her. “Why are you here?”

Uraraka blinked. “Because I wanted to see Yukiko?”

“She’s in bed,” Shigaraki pointed out. “What are you still doing here?”

“Well, I–” Uraraka dropped her legs down, planting her feet on the ground. “I said I wanted to see you too – to make sure you’re okay and–”

Shigaraki gestured to himself. “I’m fine, as you saw earlier. So?”

Even though it probably stung a bit, Uraraka damn near jumped to her feet. “Oh, so now you’re turning the question on me because you couldn’t answer it yourself? I don’t see how that’s fair.”

“You’re avoiding stuff too,” Shigaraki shot back.

“Avoiding what?” Uraraka demanded.

“I don’t know!” Shigaraki swallowed and huffed again. “Fuck, I don’t know.”

He turned away from her and ran his fingers through his hair, his gloves catching on a few strands. He hadn’t taken them off. While they had helped him before, his therapist was concerned that he would start using them as a crutch or a means to distance himself. He couldn’t help but feel like a danger to Yukiko, so of course he’d started wearing them more often.

“This is stupid and weird,” Shigaraki said in a flat tone. “I don’t know why I said anything.”

“You didn’t say much,” Uraraka pointed out.

“Yeah, I did,” Shigaraki insisted, glowering at her. “I said you were important. You’re important, okay? To Yukiko, to me.” He immediately grimaced when the words left his mouth. “Fucking stupid .”

“That you...think I’m important or said that I am?” Uraraka was standing absolutely still, just out of his reach. He would’ve had to stand up and take a few steps toward her to touch her, but he didn’t. He stayed right where he was on the couch and she stayed where she was, watching him warily. His stomach turned. Warily, like she was scared. What the hell had he been thinking? Why would she–?

Shigaraki folded his arms across his chest. “Forget it.”

“No, I will not forget it because you’re the one to bring this up,” Uraraka said firmly. Bring what up? He didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure she did either. They were just talking about nothing . “You don’t think this is weird or hard for me too?” She pressed a hand against her chest. “That I don’t get confused or feel conflicted – like I shouldn’t be here and I don’t know what I’m doing but I just– I just keep on going because it feels good even though it shouldn’t?”

Every muscle in his body tightened, leaving him stiff and uncomfortable on the couch as he determinedly glared at the light socket near his TV. She really knew how to pack some punches. This decidedly sounded like an argument, but it didn’t feel like one. At least, it didn’t feel like they were arguing with each other, more like arguing out loud with themselves, which was also weird.

“You’re–” Uraraka waved her hands about. “You used to try to kill my friends. You almost killed me.”

“I know,” Shigaraki muttered.

“You were a villain that terrorized Japan and nearly brought down heroes,” Uraraka continued, her honesty brutal but necessary. “I used to be so scared of you.”

“I know.”

“And I-I hated you, if I’m being honest,” Uraraka admitted. “Even after you became a vigilante, you still hurt innocent people. You didn’t care about collateral damage. And when you were arrested, I was–” She closed her eyes. “It didn’t feel like enough.”

“I know !” Shigaraki snapped. “I know, I know.” He held out a hand, willing her to stop. “I was a fucking nightmare. I was a monster – to Japan, to Midoriya, to you. I can’t even count how much awful shit I did – how terrible I was. And that’s why– I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve any of this, not Yukiko’s trust or Fuyumi’s forgiveness or Midoriya’s kindness or All Might’s help or just... you .” He clenched his hand. “That’s why I don’t get it – why you’re here, why I want you here, why it fucking scared the piss out of me when I thought you were gone because of me and–” He scoffed viciously and shook his head. “This makes no fucking sense.”

“It doesn’t,” Uraraka agreed with what sounded like a dangerously wet laugh. He really didn’t need her crying. That was pretty much the opposite of what he wanted right now. “It doesn’t make a single lick of sense. Sometimes, I’ll be at work and I’m just like, ‘What are you doing, Uravity? What are you thinking? Why him?’ ” His heart lodged itself in his throat as he watched her begin to anxiously pace. Why him? “And I don’t have an answer. I feel like I’m being stupid and crazy and absolutely ridiculous, but I’m happy . Why am I this happy?”

He couldn’t tell her because he didn’t know either. When he got out of prison, he told himself that he would stay as far away from heroes as he possibly could. He didn’t want anything to do with them. It was impossible to avoid them entirely, but he did his best. He met with his therapist on time; he never missed a meeting with his parole officer; he cooperated with the police every time they “randomly” were in the area and checked on him. He was done with heroes, and he wanted them to be done with him.

Yet here he was: heroes involved in every inch of his life. And maybe he didn’t exactly want them in his life, but they were admittedly good for him and Yukiko. Positive fucking influences, save for maybe Bakugou. Even then, he was a good reminder of what he’d been and could no longer be. He had to prove that little shit wrong. He was fairly positive that he could never be good enough for Uraraka – probably not for Yukiko – but maybe…

“It’s crazy, right?” Uraraka continued frantically. “Like I’m here, just sitting here watching a movie with you – a movie, on your couch! It’s so normal and fun and I– It shouldn’t be, right? It shouldn’t be this easy.” She took a shuddering breath. “But it is. And I feel like an idiot because this is ridiculous and I don’t know what I’m doing what this is and I don’t know what I’m doing with you and I feel like everyone is going to think I’m so stupid and you’d probably think I’m a dumbass but when I got hurt, I was just hoping you were okay and I-I–”

“Uraraka!” Shigaraki snatched her by the wrist when she was finally close enough for him to reach, and she froze. His gloves were still on. Even through the carefully constructed material, he could feel her pulse beating rapidly under her skin. Her brown eyes were wide, a different sort of panic gleaming in them that wasn’t exactly like fear. The room was dark save for the glow of the television, but he could tell her cheeks were pinker than normal.

There were a lot of things he could’ve said. There were blaring in his mind, words ricocheting around the walls and on the tip of his tongue. He could’ve tried to reassure her, although he didn’t think that would go over well. Bakugou was probably better at that than him, and that was saying something. He hated that he was even thinking of that bastard right now, but he couldn’t help it. Shigaraki had never been good at talking, which was how this whole mess had started tonight.

Instead, he tugged her wrist. She didn’t resist. He tugged her closer. She didn’t pull back, just continued to look at him with this deer-in-headlights look that kind of made him want to laugh. He tugged on her a little harder, just enough so that she tumbled forward and practically fell in his lap. He caught her with his other hand on her good side, making sure she didn’t land hard. It was an insanely weird position with her knees on either side of his legs, her face close to his and a hand resting on his shoulder to hold herself up, but...he didn’t mind it.

Okay, that was a lie. He was quite pleased.

“Too much?” he asked in a low voice.

Uraraka shook her head. “Nuh uh.” She raised her other hand, letting it hover just an inch over his cheek. “This is stupid, right?”

“Yeah, one of the dumbest things I’ve done in a while.”

“And really weird.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Definitely.”

“And we probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Probably not.”

Uraraka finally laid her hand against the side of his face, and damn if it didn’t feel good. The pads of her fingertips were rough. It wasn’t the soft touch he would’ve expected from someone that looked as soft as her, but it felt right. It felt like her. “You’re very charming, you know that?”

Shigaraki raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “You’re here, aren’t you?”

“Oh, shut up ,” Uraraka huffed, right before she closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against his.

Should he have been cautious? Should he have been hesitant? Maybe. Probably. But he really wasn’t feeling it. He didn’t know why he’d settled for half-assing shit when he’d never been like that before, but he wasn’t about to do that now. When he wanted something, he went for it, and if he was going to be honest with himself, he did want her. It was weird and all sorts of wrong and perhaps a mistake to do something that could potentially blow up in his face, but hey, that was what living was about, right?

So instead of some slow or careful kiss (and what the fuck, she was actually kissing him), he didn’t hesitate for a single second. He let go of her wrist so he could dig his fingers into her hair and then slid his other hand from her side to the small of her back, pressing her closer to him. She hummed, the sound making his fingers curl almost possessively.

This was what he wanted. Her, right here, as close as could be. She felt unbelievably good too, all warm and soft, although he could feel the muscles tensing as she moved. It had been an embarrassingly long time since he’d done anything like this (and he hadn’t been good at it then), so he was a bit clumsy and maybe a bit too intense, but she didn’t seem to mind, matching his energy like she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Shit, he hadn’t even realized how much he wanted this until he opened himself up to the desire – until he admitted it.

He just hadn’t thought it was possible. For fuck’s sake, he had been a villain. He had nearly killed her and her friends how many times? Sure, it had been ten years ago, but ten years wasn’t that far back. She’d said it herself: she had hated him; she had wanted him gone. This made absolutely no sense, but he was actually holding onto her, kissing her without abandon until both of them were struggling to breathe, and he wasn’t even drunk. Goddamn, the last night he’d done anything remotely similar to this had been with Yukiko’s mom, and he’d had to be near blacked out.

He definitely wanted to be completely aware for this, partially so he could remember it and also so he wouldn’t make a total fool out of himself.

When Uraraka’s lips quirked upward against his into an undeniable grin, Shigaraki furrowed his brow and pulled back slightly. “Are you…?” She made a little squeak before she could stop herself and then bit her lip. “Are you gonna start laughing right now?”

Uraraka sputtered and sat upright, hiding her red face in her hands. “It’s just–” More laughter slipped from her. “This is ridiculous. I just remembered seeing you awkwardly holding a baby like you were afraid of it a year ago and thinking, ‘Should I really step in to help?’ and now…”

And now they were basically making out on his couch. Two people who once hated each other, her trying to capture and arrest him and him trying to, well, whatever he was feeling at the time. In his defense, after the League had turned to vigilantism, they’d done their best to avoid heroes instead of attacking them. They were trying to be good guys, just, you know, without all that stupid red tape that held the heroes back.

“You wanna stop?” Shigaraki asked.

“Not...really, no,” Uraraka said, sliding her hands down to her nose to peer at him. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“Then don’t,” Shigaraki told her, pulling her toward him again so he could press his lips against her neck. She let out a strange breathy sound, but it didn’t sound unpleasant, just...surprised. Truth be told, he didn’t want to think about it much either. If he started thinking about this anymore than he already had, he was likely to spiral and get in his own head – feel guilty or ashamed or angry with himself. He could do that later. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy this, the feel of her rocking against him, the way she tugged on his hair, how she sounded when she sighed. He was struggling in the dark here, but she didn’t seem displeased or frustrated with him at least.

Then she was back to kissing him, her hands on his face, and this time she was the more frantic one, which sent his mind into overdrive because okay, she knew what she was doing. Maybe it was more passionate? Was that the right term? Fuck if he knew. He could barely remember having sex with Himura. It had been a stupid, dark, blurry mess that had somehow miraculously ended with a pregnancy, all things considered. They weren’t about to go that far, but he also couldn’t remember the basics of making out or kissing or anything like that except from what he’d seen in movies, TV, books, and video game cutscenes.

Wow, he sounded like a total loser.

He just had to go by feel, which couldn’t be too difficult. Times like these made him realize how socially awkward he’d grown up, but as long as he ignored that, he’d be...fine. It wasn’t like this was unenjoyable. He was quite pleased with how things were progressing, especially since Uraraka seemed to be on the same level as him. When he slid his hand under her shirt to rest it against the bare skin of her back, she leaned in closer, pressing her chest against his. Okay, good. He inched a little higher, but she only kissed him harder.

And then, right when she rolled her hips against his and he damn near choked, he heard a noise from behind them. He tried to ignore it at first and kept kissing her, telling himself that he was hearing things, but less than a minute later, the noise was louder and much more noticeable.

It was the undeniable cry of, “Dada!”

Shigaraki growled irritably and dropped his head back against the couch. “Seriously? Now? She hasn’t woken up in the middle of the night for months!”

Uraraka sat back, her face flushed and hair a mess, and bit her lip. He really wished she wouldn't do that since it drew his attention again. "We were kinda loud before. I guess we woke her up."

"For fuck's sake…" Shigaraki rubbed his face. As a baby, Yukiko could be pretty inconvenient, but this piss poor timing had to be the worst. He wasn’t certain anything like this would ever happen again. He didn't want to presume it was something more. For all he knew, they'd both just needed to get this tension out of their system to finally move forward. She could realize that any odd desire for him was just a fleeting side effect of them hanging out and their connection via Yukiko and then date someone else. He could decide that this was just a confusing mix-up because of her helping him take care of his kid.

This could've been their only moment. This could be it, and he would have to be okay about it.

"Dada!"

"Okay, okay, I'm coming."

However, when Shigaraki moved to ease Uraraka off his legs so he could get up, she pressed a hand against his chest. "I'll get her back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"I've proven to be more adept at it," Uraraka quipped. He narrowed his eyes, and she gave him a cheeky grin. She was careful getting off of him, but he still had to press his lips together to keep from reacting. She tiptoed in the dark to Yukiko's room. He heard her murmur as she opened the door and slipped inside, leaving him alone in the living room.

The television was still on in the background, the light washing over him, but he couldn't have said what was playing. Instead, he leaned back, stared up at the ceiling, and tried very hard not to think. The scar on his lip felt more noticeable than usual. He tugged on his gloves, an action that did absolutely nothing to help him. He would've liked to take them off so he could fully touch and feel her, but it didn't feel right. He was too aware of his history and his quirk and was wary it would make her uncomfortable, even if she'd insist it didn't. She was too nice, but he had to be realistic.

Look at him being considerate and shit. A fucking miracle. He still felt like a dipshit. Character growth was also kind of humiliating.

Ten minutes later, he heard the bedroom door open again, but when he glanced back around the couch, he saw a sheepish-looking Uraraka carrying a very bright-eyed Yukiko. “We might have a problem,” Uraraka said. “Someone is very awake.”

“You little snot,” Shigaraki sighed, reaching out and taking a wiggling Yukiko from Uraraka. His daughter didn’t give a single shit, smiling big as she touched his face and babbled a string of what could not be considered an actual language. As much as he wanted to be mad at her, she was a baby, so it wasn’t like she’d interrupted them on purpose. No, he just had to suffer some awkwardness.

Uraraka sat down next to them, crossing her legs on the couch cushion. “I tried, but she was already standing up when I walked in.”

“Go figure.” Shigaraki stared Yukiko down and then let her stand on his legs, She wobbled a bit and then caught her balance while holding onto his fingers. “Ah…”

“Movie?” Uraraka suggested instead.

Shigaraki grunted, okay with ignoring things. “I guess. I don’t exactly want to watch a cartoon right now.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Uraraka replied, sounding far more amused than he liked. When he shot her a glower, she picked up the remote and focused on the TV. However, judging by the pinkness of her cheeks, her mind was obviously elsewhere as well. He hadn’t really thought about what would happen after they did all that, which was another misstep, but it also wasn’t something they could completely ignore. They would eventually have to talk about it.

Maybe Yukiko waking up was actually perfect timing. Even if she couldn’t understand them, neither one of them was willing to talk about what happened with her around. For just a little bit longer, they could pretend like things were perfectly normal (they were not) and nothing weird had happened (it did) and they weren’t thinking about something else (they definitely were). Instead, they could awkwardly fidget on the couch as they brushed against each other and tried not to make it even weirder.

By the time the movie was over an hour later, they’d barely spoken a word to each other, but his hand had found its way to her ankle, this thumb tapping her bare skin. Yukiko still hadn’t gone back to sleep, which essentially fucked him over, but it did give them an out. Since it was so late, both of them came up with an excuse for things they had to do the next day, and Uraraka excused herself for the night.

She said goodbye to Yukiko, nuzzling noses with her, and then glanced awkwardly at Shigaraki. He didn’t know what the fuck to do. A part of him wanted to kiss her again, but that was probably weird. It felt...too domestic and soft, none of the things that he was. It was what she deserved. Instead, he cleared his throat and said, “Goodnight,” and she smiled and said, “Goodnight,” and then she was out the door.

It was a full minute after Shigaraki locked the door behind her that he carried Yukiko to his bedroom and set her down, collapsing on it next to her. As she climbed on his back, he groaned into his mattress. “I think I fucked up.” He rolled onto his back, causing her to tumble on the other side of him, but she only laughed. “Your dad is a moron. I hope you’re content with that.”

Yukiko only laughed in response. Shigaraki rubbed his face.

That had felt too fucking good. Everything about Uraraka had been much nicer than he’d anticipated. It had both been too much and not enough. He wanted more . Oh shit. He’d definitely fucked up. She was supposed to just be a person that occasionally helped him out with his kid, not...whatever this was. He wasn’t supposed to want to make out with a person he used to want out of his way. What the hell was he thinking? What had he been doing?

Whatever happened, he couldn’t tell Touya. That bastard would never let him hear the end of it. He could already hear the smugness in his voice as he proclaimed to have known it all along.Screw owning up to himself and being honest. He was going to ignore this for as long as he could.

But fuck, he was kind of...happy. Oh man, this was what all those stupid civilians he used to make fun of felt like. Now he was the idiot NPC.

Chapter 45: Here's an idea: let's skip the details and chitchat

Notes:

me, sweating as I write this chapter: is kissing rated T??? i forgot everything. anyways, here's some like idk fluff. you all deserve it after me torturing you for 44 chapters.

Chapter Text

What the hell are you doing, girl?

That was the recurring question that kept popping in her head. As far as repetitive thoughts went, this one wasn’t the worst, but it was quickly followed by flashes of what happened that night, which ended with her blushing horribly and trying not to think about it. Being in her mid-twenties, she’d had a few embarrassing makeout sessions, but that memory wasn’t so much as embarrassing as...confusing.

She’d kissed him. And then he’d kissed her. Well, he’d pulled her onto her lap, which nearly gave her a heart attack, but that made things pretty clear. If she hadn’t known what he wanted by then, she sure as hell did once she acted on it. He hadn’t hesitated for a second. He’d wanted her.

And damnit, it had felt good .

Uraraka slapped her cheeks and then leaned in closer to her computer screen as if that would help her pay closer attention to the boring report. It would’ve helped if she could stop thinking about it, but she couldn’t. Every time she had a moment of nothing to think about, her mind would drift back to that night, and she’d be distracted all over again. Gosh, it had felt good. Aside from a random, drunken makeout session that she’d had a few months after she and Bakugou broke up, she hadn’t kissed anyone since him.

Now here she was, daydreaming about kissing Shigaraki Tomura while filling out crime reports.

She hadn’t told anyone, which almost made her feel a little guilty. Before, she’d told Mina absolutely everything, but for this one thing, she couldn’t now, not this. She knew Shigaraki wouldn’t want anyone to know and had no doubt he would refuse to tell Touya. He liked to pretend he didn’t give a shit about the oldest Todoroki, but they all knew by now he was lying. That was his best friend, and he would tease Shigaraki without mercy if he knew he had made out with a pro hero.

Oh my god, you made out a man that once tried to kill you.

Well, she’d had worse, she supposed.

The following days while she’d still been on medical leave, she spent time with her family and close friends. She could somehow sense that Shigaraki needed some time and space to process whatever the hell had happened, and, to be honest, she did too. It was certainly a leap in their...relationship. They’d remained in contact, of course, texting each other back and forth in rapid-fire conversations that made her smile more than it should have, but they never talked about what happened. They couldn’t even blame alcohol or even adrenaline.

Her phone buzzed, and Uraraka damn near jumped out of her suit. She snatched it from her desk and tilted her head when she saw that the message was from Shigaraki. She hadn’t figured she would hear from him tonight since he’d mentioned something about hanging out with Touya. Fuyumi had insisted that they both needed to blow off some steam after the past few months. The only reason he had agreed was if she went out with them for once, probably so someone else could keep an eye on her errant twin brother, so Yukiko was with, of all people, All Might.

Honestly, Uraraka thought it was sweet how much All Might wanted to help and already adored Yukiko, much like a grandfather would, but Shigaraki would melt into a puddle if she said anything about that.

You’re not working tonight, right?

Uraraka glanced around the office as if another one of the heroes could read the screen on her phone and then typed back a quick reply, I get off work in thirty minutes. Just finishing up reports. What’s up?

You should come out with us tonight, was Shigaraki’s response. Uraraka rose an eyebrow, but before she could respond, he quickly added, Fuyumi needs another girl. Invite your pink friend or whatever.

Despite herself, a smile touched Uraraka’s lips. Oh so it’s just for Fuyumi’s sake?

When Shigaraki replied, she could practically hear the grouchiness through the text message: Just fucking come out if you want.

She had dated Bakugou long enough to read him and, while she certainly hadn’t known Shigaraki outside the villain or vigilante sense as long, she somehow got the sense of what he was saying. He wanted her to come but had picked the most reasonable excuse that wouldn’t make it seem like he was the one asking. Instead, he was being nice and doing a favor for Fuyumi, so it wasn’t on him. He was really good at delegating.

Yeah I’ll come. Just let me know a time and place.

As soon as she sent the text message, the curious voice of her Shiketsu intern piped up, “Oooh, are you texting your boyfriend? You have this really cute smile on your face!”

Uraraka slammed her phone flat down on her desk so hard that she was afraid the screen might’ve cracked. She turned to face her intern, a really sweet girl that kind of reminded her of Utsushimi Camie from back in the day, and gave her a stiff smile. “No, it’s just a friend.”

A sneaky smile slid onto the intern’s face. “Uh huh, totally just a friend. Is it another hero?”

“Are you done with your report?” Uraraka asked instead, completely ignoring her question. It most definitely was not a hero. Damn near the opposite. The girl let out a beleaguered sigh and handed over her near-perfect typed summary of today’s work – two muggings, an aborted jewelry store robbery, and a multiple car accident on the highway – before flouncing back to her desk. Despite being super into gossip, she was very detail-oriented. Uraraka was almost sure that her mock-one was better than her professional one that would actually be turned in.

Once the intern was back at her desk, Uraraka checked her phone again, taking note of the location and time that Shigaraki had sent her. Not the same sinkhole bar that Touya worked at, but not somewhere fancy either. It was a lowkey place that she’d gone to a few times while dating Bakugou to meet up with Kaminari, Kirishima, and Mina. No real memories of the place except that she remembered it being decent. She shot Mina a text, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to invite her as well. She’d met Shouto’s sister a handful of times, but they’d never really talked for a long period of time or hung out.

Well, this would be...interesting.

*

It turned out, as luck would have it, that Fuyumi was as much of a lightweight as Touya, but that made sense since she didn’t drink often. She was at least smart enough to pace herself and order food, drinking water in between any alcoholic beverages she had. She made Touya do the same, which he complained about but acquiesced to when she pointed out that it would enable him to hang out longer. On the other hand, heroes, Mina liked to joke, were required to be able to hold their liquor.

Still, Uraraka wasn’t about to get drunk. She didn’t like the feeling. A pleasant buzz was fine. She was more than content to sit back and laugh and clap as Mina goaded Fuyumi into singing karaoke on stage.

When she and Mina arrived at the bar, the others hadn’t been there yet, a stark contrast to the last time they had met up with Shigarki and Touya at his workplace. They ordered drinks and waited a few minutes before the other three and, surprisingly, Kaminari showed up. Honestly, she’d been really happy to see Kaminari, who lit up upon seeing them and forgot to order a drink for a solid ten minutes while jabbering excitedly with them.

Shigaraki connected eyes with her, paused for a moment, and then made his way to the bar. Not awkward at all. By the grace of some higher being, no one in their group noticed. Their groups meshed and, slowly but surely, that strange feeling between them began to dissipate and it was like nothing had happened. All they had to do was pretend they hadn’t made out on his couch. She could do that if he could. That was one thing where he and Bakugou differed greatly. After the first time they kissed, Bakugou had asked her out immediately. Well, maybe not asked her out so much as… Well, they were together. That was all that mattered.

Honestly, as weird and confusing as it was, she was okay with taking the time to figure out what the hell they were doing and where their feelings lied. She wasn’t in a rush to do something – either get in a relationship or nip things in the bud completely or just have sex and get it out of their system. With Yukiko involved, she wanted to be sure of what both of them wanted, if anything, before they made any decisions.

As soon as she got her third drink from the bartender, Shigaraki sidled up next to her and said, “You can put hers on my tab and just get me another of these,” sliding an empty bottle over.

Uraraka turned to him, an eyebrow raised. “That was smooth. Trying to butter me up?”

“I don’t think I need to,” Shigaraki retorted.

“Hey, a girl likes to get pampered every now and then,” Uraraka pointed out.

“Then get something more expensive next time.”

It wasn’t all that funny, but Uraraka laughed. She could technically afford something better – and she made more money than Shigaraki if she was being real – but she still had a habit of ordering cheap as hell drinks. She liked them well enough and was used to them. She didn’t need to drink some fancy cocktail that she might not like when she could have a tried and true cheap drink.

Something about that moment changed things between them. He’d brushed up against her at the bar and hadn’t moved away, the action almost intentional. After that, they found themselves gravitating toward one another. Of course, she did play a good sport and hung out with Fuyumi and Mina. Girls had to stick together, after all. At one point, Touya smacked Kaminari upside the head for half-ass flirting with Fuyumi while they played pool, to which he sheepishly apologized for and said he was just joking. Uraraka had a feeling he’d be bemoaning five drinks later about how hot Todoroki’s sister was and how it was unfair. She was quite pretty and sweet.

At one point, while the boys were playing a game of nine ball at the pool table – and, in a shocking turn of events, Touya was downright hustling them – the girls sat at a table eating some bar food. Mina left for the bathrooms, leaving Uraraka alone at the table with Fuyumi to watch the boys argue over something Touya did.

“Hey,” Fuyumi piped up, stirring her drink around with a thin straw, “I don’t think I, um, properly thanked you.”

Uraraka startled, caught off guard by the other woman’s words. “Thanked me for what?”

“For what you’ve done for Shigaraki,” Fuyumi explained, “and for Touya.”

“Oh.” Uraraka snorted. “I don’t think I’ve done anything for him.”

“No, you–” Fuyumi swallowed. “You’ve done more than you know. It’s hard to explain. Touya was… Gosh, he was still so much like a stranger when he got out of prison. He was aimless, depressed, and alone. He knew that it wasn’t technically against their parole to be around Shigaraki, but without him, I think he was worried that he’d fall back into old habits. Still, the two of them were…”

Uraraka waved a frantic hand. “I think that was Yukiko’s doing more than anything! I know she’s only a baby, but she really seemed to give them something to focus on.”

Fuyumi smiled, the adoration clearly evident on her pink-cheeked face. “She did. Obviously, it wasn’t her responsibility since she’s a baby, but she… She changed their lives. Touya would never admit it, but he’s definitely changed since she became a part of all our lives. I haven’t seen him this determined since...since he was a vigilante.”

“Well, see, then I didn’t do anything but help out,” Uraraka said.

“No,” Fuyumi said, shaking her head slowly. “You’ve done more than you know. I don’t know how to explain it, but Shigaraki just seems more...complete. He would never have opened up this much without you holding the door open, if that makes any sense, and Touya follows Shigaraki’s lead. He hates being left behind.”

Uraraka didn’t know what else to say, so she just said, “Oh, well, uh, you’re welcome?”

“Just don’t go breaking his heart, you hear?” Fuyumi teased playfully, wagging a finger at her. “He won’t know how to handle it. He’d probably just mope for months.”

Blush burned Uraraka’s face. “I-I won’t! It’s not– We’re not–”

Fuyumi giggled, holding a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry. It’s just...very obvious the way Shigaraki looks at you sometimes – maybe because he’s been drinking. He talks about you a lot, but this is the first time I’ve seen the two of you around each other. I can see what Touya complains about.”

Uraraka sank in her seat. “Nice to know he hates me.”

“Oh, he doesn’t hate you,” Fuyumi insisted, patting her arm. “He’s secretly happy but can’t admit it. You know how complicated things are when it comes to their feelings about heroes.”

That Uraraka did know more than anything. It was so complicated that they did their best not to talk about it at all. As much as he had tried to avoid heroes upon being released from prison, it appeared as if heroes couldn’t avoid him. They were immersed in his life now, whether he liked it or not, and he couldn’t even say it was for Yukiko’s sake anymore. It wasn’t like he had made out with her for Yukiko or anything. Nope, that was solely on him, and she really shouldn’t be thinking about that right now, especially when Shigaraki was looking her way with such an intense look in his red eyes that made her blush further.

The moment Mina returned triumphantly with a decree of, “I got us more drinks for free!” Uraraka awkwardly jumped to her feet and blurted, “I need to pee!”

Luckily, Mina was a good sport. “Oh, no, you’re gonna break the seal now.”

Uraraka smiled and shrugged. “Can’t help it.”

She shimmeyed her way through the bar, using her small but solid body to push through the small crowd that had built since they arrived. For a moment, she eyed the door to the alley where she could get a burst of cold, fresh air that might give her a little clarity, but then, there was Shigaraki, his chest bumping into her back because she’d halted so suddenly. Uraraka turned, her mouth open to apologize, and he raised an eyebrow. She wasn’t really sure how what happened next actually happened, but she grabbed his shirt and pulled him into the small women’s restroom.

“What the–?” Shigaraki managed.

“I know, I know!” Uraraka blabbered. “It’s a terrible idea!”

“I’m not complaining,” Shigaraki said as he kicked the door shut and locked it.

Before she could come up with a logical excuse for why she’d dragged him in here, his lips were on hers, hot and demanding. They were wet from a steady round of water and alcohol, not as chapped as they’d been the first night. She reached up to thread her hands in his hair, tilting her head to deepen the kiss, and his hands fell onto her hips as she stumbled back against the sink counter. Without any hesitation, he slid his hands underneath her and lifted her onto the sink, making them a little more even. She opened her legs a little so he could slide in close to her, and holy shit, if it wasn’t perfect .

It didn’t matter that they were making out in a bar bathroom. It didn’t matter that it was Shigaraki. It didn’t matter that she was a hero. Every inch of her was on fire. He was wearing gloves, something she’d noticed when he first walked into the bar. He’d stopped doing that as much in public, but it was almost like he’d known that he might need to wear them later. As much as she hated to admit it, the gloves did make her feel more relaxed and better, but a small part of her wished he wouldn’t or didn’t feel like he had to wear them when touching her.

He was careful with her though, even if his touch was anything but that. Strange. She would’ve never pegged Shigaraki as someone that was careful with or aware of other people, but maybe he’d learned with Yukiko.

Maybe the few days apart had ignited something. Uraraka didn’t know and she didn’t particularly care either, not when Shigaraki was kissing her like it was his last night on earth. Definitely couldn’t complain about that. She didn’t even have time to think about what was going on. All she could do was feel in the moment and run with it.

“Well,” Uraraka managed when he finally pulled away, absolutely breathless, “this was unexpected.”

“You don’t seem mad,” Shigaraki muttered as he kissed down her neck.

Uraraka huffed out a laugh and tugged on his hair. “I’m not.”

A kinder, softer person would’ve probably been hesitant, especially with their history behind them, but Shigaraki didn’t seem to care as he pressed his lips against hers again. He was kissing her and she wasn’t fighting him on it, so why bother holding back? He was at least smart enough not to leave any marks on her, or they’d suffer everyone’s scrutinization. She had a feeling Touya would say something about them both being gone at the same time, so maybe his frantic behavior had to do with being on a time limit.

“You should come back to my place,” Shigaraki murmured.

“Trying to take advantage of me?”

Shigaraki stiffened and pulled back. “I’m not–”

But Uraraka laughed and kissed him again. “I’m joking. If anything, I’m more concerned about you asking me this because you’re drunk.”

“I’ve only had two drinks the entire night,” Shigaraki said, very seriously. “Fine, I’ll quit drinking if you’re so worried about that, you little goodie-two-shoe.”

“You don’t have to do that!” Uraraka told him. “I just…” She bit her bottom lip, which must’ve been a bad move since it immediately drew his attention there. She tsked, and he brought his eyes back up to hers, focused again. “I just don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”

Shigaraki screwed up his face. “I’m not plastered, Uraraka, and you’re not Himura.”

“Well, I would hope not!” Uraraka said, a burst of indignation flashing in her.

“That’s–” Shigaraki slapped a hand over his face and rubbed it, now avoiding her eyes. “We don’t have to...do anything. I was just thinking… Yukiko isn’t there so we could hang out just us or whatever.”

“Some alone time?” Uraraka teased.

“Yeah, I guess, whatever.” The casualness Shigaraki tried to convey in his tone was betrayed by the hunger in his eyes when he looked back at her. A second later, they were kissing again. It was rather sloppy and Uraraka couldn’t say it was the best, but she hummed, completely pleased, which Shigaraki answered by sliding his hands behind her back and pressing her closer.

A banging on the door almost stopped them, but Uraraka frantically shouted out, “Occupied!” and Shigaraki let out a low chuckle against her throat, a sound that traveled right down her spine and made her shiver. Seriously, it should not have felt this good. She smacked him against the chest. “Stop acting so smug!”

“Why?” Shigaraki drawled in a dry tone, pulling back slightly. “I’m making out with a hot hero Uravity in a bar bathroom. This is the stuff guys online dream about.”

Uraraka blushed bright red. “That’s ridiculous! They do not.”

“They most definitely do,” Shigaraki countered. “You should see some of the stuff they say.” He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “And I thought villain fuckers were into weird shit.”

“Wait, why do you know what they say about me online?” Uraraka demanded, trying her best to change the direction of the conversation. She let go of him and leaned further back, putting her hands on her hips, which probably would have cut a more intimidating figure had she not been sitting on a sink counter. “Looking me up online?”

“I got curious after you kicked Chisaki’s ass,” Shigaraki retorted defensively. “Turns out assholes have more to say about your ass than your stats.”

“Oh, gee, thanks,” Uraraka muttered. “That’s a real ego boost.” Nudging him back, she hopped off the sink counter once she had enough space and then smoothed down her hair. “I think the mood has effectively died.”

Shigaraki huffed, but he didn’t complain. It was for the best, seeing as how she didn’t know how long they’d been making out. Plus, whoever had wanted to use the restroom a moment ago was probably pissed that they hadn’t come out yet. She held a finger up to stop him and then peeked out the door. Luckily, no one was there, so she snuck out first after telling him to wait a little bit.

As soon as she returned to the table, Uraraka picked up her drink. “Sorry ‘bout that. There was a line.”

“There always is for the women’s restroom,” Mina said solemnly.

Touya was leaning against the back of the booth behind Fuyumi, a glass of water in his hand. “And where were you? Ashido had to step in for you at the table.”

“I was in the bathroom,” Shigaraki said as he made his way to them.

“You were both at the bathrooms?” Touya asked, an eyebrow raised.

Shigaraki gave him an unimpressed look. “Yeah, most people tend to need to take a piss after drinking two beers and a water. Not everyone’s bodies absorb liquid at an unnatural rate because of their hot ass quirk.”

After giving him a suspicious lookover, Touya gave up and turned his attention to the food on the table, reaching over Fuyumi’s shoulder to grab some. She swatted his hand and scolded him about getting her shirt dirty, forcing him to move around the front. With everyone distracted once more, Uraraka made eye contact with Shigaraki. His facial expression didn’t change one bit, but she could tell he was relieved. He wouldn’t want Touya catching on and making a big deal out of shit right now or ever.

Yeah, this was fine.

In the end, Uraraka didn’t go over to Shigaraki’s place after they left the bar. In a surprise turn of events, Fuyumi and Kaminari were the ones who got too drunk, so he was forced to ferry them. He couldn’t just leave Fuyumi, who wasn’t used to being drunk, and Kaminari couldn’t drive back to his place, so he ended up going back with Shigaraki. He was clearly frustrated and pissed off, especially with those heated looks sent her way outside of the bar, but all she could do was wave and get in Mina’s car.

“That was fun,” Mina said as they drove back to Uraraka’s apartment. “Weird but fun.”

Yeah, it was. Unfortunately, it added yet another moment for Uraraka to daydream about and feel conflicted over. Once again, she had technically been the one to initiate things, having dragged him into the bathroom. What was wrong with her? Was there anything wrong with her? She was still kind of buzzing about it.

While playing around on her phone, she got a text from Shigaraki that included a picture of Kaminari passed out face first on Shigaraki’s couch with the caption, I hope he feels this in the morning.

Uraraka smiled and sent back, Not the company you were hoping for?

Definitely not

“What are you over there grinning about?” Mina asked teasingly.

Instead of getting embarrassed, Uraraka showed Mina the picture of Kaminari, the perfect excuse. “Look, now I’m not the only one to stay the night with Shigaraki.”

Mina laughed. “The scandal!”

After Mina dropped her off back at her place, Uraraka tramped her way up to her apartment. It was probably a good thing she hadn’t gone back to Shigaraki’s, seeing as how she was pretty tired. She changed into pajamas, turned off all the lights, and flopped into her bed. She stayed awake long enough to get Mina’s text that she was back home safe and sound and then another text from Shigaraki complaining about Kaminari’s snoring before falling asleep, her phone in her hand.

It really had been a good night, but there were still some things she wasn’t going to think about.

*

And boy, were they really not going to talk about it either. Uraraka could at least chalk up their last makeout session to alcohol. She could pretend that it had loosened both of them up enough to fall back into it.

The third time? Yeah, there was no writing that one off.

Uraraka had come over to watch Yukiko while Shigaraki was at therapy and then ran some errands. He wasn’t going as often as before, having switched to seeing his therapist bi-weekly unless he needed more. It was a good step forward, one she was proud about. She’d noted the stack of textbooks spread out on his coffee table next to his controllers, another change that surprised her but felt good. He was really working hard to progress and improve himself. Such a marked difference to what he’d been like the night they bought a bunch of baby supplies.

For once, Yukiko fell asleep early. She conked out before Shigaraki even made it back home, so Uraraka was scrolling through social media on her phone while curled up on the couch when he returned. With her babysitting job done, she could’ve gone home. Instead, they somehow found themselves watching a movie. Or, well, they had started to watch the movie, but around thirty minutes in, neither one of them was paying attention.

They’d learned their lesson from the first time, being a lot more careful about being loud or making noises so they wouldn’t wake up Yukiko, but Shigaraki was making it really hard. Gosh, she really hadn’t expected him to be so into this. Considering the way he sometimes talked about how Yukiko came into existence, she hadn’t really thought he enjoyed any of this at all. It usually sounded like he’d just had sex with Himura because it seemed like something normal civilians did and he’d been trying to pretend to be one.

There was no way in hell he was pretending right now.

At least they’d managed to stay on the couch. For one precarious moment when Uraraka squirmed underneath him, Shigaraki almost fell off, but he managed to grab the back of the couch to catch himself. She pressed her lips together to muffle her laughter at the startled look on Shigaraki’s face, but then he narrowed his eyes and quickly made sure that she regretted laughing at him.

“St-stop,” Uraraka managed to breathe out, “you’re gonna–”

“Oh, can’t be quiet now?” Shigaraki asked.

Uraraka tugged on his hair, which made him grimace, but she knew he liked it, so there. “You’re gonna wake up Yukiko. And that wouldn’t be fun, now would it?”

Shigaraki paused to mull over her question and then said, “Bedroom?”

Both Uraraka’s eyebrows raised. “Wow, someone sure is moving fast.”

“I’m just saying it would offer a little more privacy, and we wouldn’t have to worry as much,” Shigaraki insisted. His face was flushed, and not just because they’d been making out. He really was easy to rile up in more ways than one.

Uraraka reflected on his words. On one hand, she very much would like to move this to the bedroom. She certainly wasn’t ready to progress to that level and didn’t think Shigaraki was either despite her teasing him, but there was also something daunting about it. Out here, with the worry of waking up Yukiko looming over their heads, they couldn’t move forward. The couch was a safe zone. They had to be more or less good. The bedroom, on the other hand, was intimate and private and very…

Shigaraki pulled himself off her. “You’re thinking way too hard.”

“I am not!” Uraraka said, sitting upright. When he looked at her sideways, she bit her lip. “Okay, maybe I am.” She crossed her legs and dropped her hands into her lap. “Do you think we should maybe...talk?”

“About what?” Shigaraki asked flatly.

“About this.”

“What about this?”

Uraraka’s eyes hardened. “You know what I’m talking about. Stop acting like an ass.”

“What’s to talk about?” Shigaraki asked edgily, refusing to meet her eyes. “You know damn well I’m not relationship material or whatever, so I don’t know what else you’d want from me or what you’re expecting. It’s not like I’m the fancy date or flowers type; I can’t give you the typical stupid relationship or whatever.”

Uraraka snorted. “And here I thought you were gonna wine and dine me.

“Seriously, you’re on a completely different level, Uraraka, and I’m…” Shigaraki gestured vaguely. “I don’t know.”

“Taking advantage of this while you can?” Uraraka suggested.

Shigaraki scowled. “That makes me sound like a sleaze.”

“Hm, maybe it’s more like…” She tapped her legs with her fingers. “You figure I’ll get tired of this or realize that it’s you and I’ll get some sense knocked into me and then move on, so you’re taking what you can get before it’s gone.”

His scowl deepened. “That makes me sound fucking pathetic.”

Uraraka tilted her head. “Am I wrong?”

For a moment, Shigaraki didn’t respond. The scowl faded from his face as he thought on it. In all honesty, it didn’t matter what he said. Uraraka knew she was right. It wasn’t that he didn’t expect her to stick around. He knew she would for Yukiko and even for him but perhaps just as friends. He’d probably gotten it in his head that she’d realize she wanted something or someone more stable, with a less horrific past and muddled history with her, that wouldn’t be so damn complicated and conflicting. Another hero or even a civilian, not the former villain.

He...wasn’t wrong to be concerned about that. It wasn’t like the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. Uraraka had to wonder if maybe this whole weird attraction had to do with wanting something she shouldn’t. By all means, she shouldn’t have been attracted to him. She shouldn’t be kissing him. She shouldn’t want to drag him back over her and continue making out on the couch. If she was smart and logical and not weird as hell, she wouldn’t be doing any of this and would call Monoma up and see if he wanted a second date.

Instead, she sat on the couch, looking at Shigaraki in the dark room, and waited for his response.

Shigaraki let out an aggravated sigh. “You’re not wrong.” He glanced at her briefly and then looked away again, a hard expression on his face. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now. We did enough of that last week, didn’t we?”

“Well, I guess in your world, that was probably enough talking about your feelings to cover you a year,” Uraraka said.

He rolled his eyes. “Look, I don’t know what you want or expect from me, so…”

“Let’s just enjoy it for now and see where it goes?” Uraraka suggested. “While keeping Yukiko in mind! I don’t want her to get hurt because we’re, uh…”

“Horny?”

Uraraka hid her warm face in her hands. “That’s so crude!”

“What about fooling around?”

“Not any better.”

With a slow, methodical touch, Shigaraki pried her fingers away from her face to reveal her eyes. “You don’t seem to mind it. In fact, I distinctly remember someone being very insistent.”

This time, Uraraka scowled at him. “Since when did you become so suave? Did you start playing otome games or dating sims or whatever to brush up on your flirting?”

Instead of answering her – because she knew damn well that Shigaraki was not the suave type, so he’d do whatever he could to avoid that line of questioning – Shigaraki asked, “Still wanna talk about it?”

“You’re such an ass,” Uraraka huffed before pulling her hands fully away from her face and leaning forward to kiss him. He let her take control this time, pushing him back on the couch so that she was the one on top. It was definitely a little awkward, especially when both of them kept getting their limbs tangled and then almost fell off the couch again, but that seemed to be the theme of this whole mess anyway. Besides, judging by the way his lips quirked upward, she could tell he didn’t mind.

Honestly, she didn’t mind either. They hadn’t really talked about whatever this way, but he’d admitted a few things, which put her at ease. It wasn’t like she wanted a serious relationship or anything, but both of them were too aware of Yukiko to be flippant about this either. Eventually, they would probably have to put up or shut up. She was young enough where it wouldn’t confuse her (and hell, she was already calling Uraraka “mama,” which was yet another thing they didn’t bring up), but this could end very messily if they weren’t careful.

And weird and embarrassing and downright confusing as it was, Uraraka would be lying if she said that there weren’t feelings involved already. They’d both admitted that more or less. For now, they could simply have fun and relieve the tension that had been building up between them. Yeah, that was fine. It totally wouldn’t backfire on them.

Chapter 46: Remember those famous last words?

Notes:

First of all, I want to apologize for how long it took me to update this. I've been working on this chapter for WEEKS. I got swamped with shipping order 1,400+ orders for a zine, ran into writer's block, and then was just feeling really down and insecure about my writing. It was legit a struggle. The longer it took me to write this chapter, the guiltier I felt about not updating and the harder it became to write. What a vicious cycle! I went weeks without writing for ANYTHING, and that was really hard on me. I don't like taking breaks. But I'm working on getting back into this! I have the next chapter planned out and will start on that as soon as I finish this gift exchange fic.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Shigaraki hadn’t been in this good of a mood in who the fuck knew how long. Maybe not since his vigilante days, if he was being honest. There had always been an insane high about their fights that excited him and made him feel alive. Nothing quite like taking down a villain that the heroes either didn’t bother with or couldn’t deal with themselves. It had been better than being a villain. Fuck, he’d enjoyed it so much, laughing about it with the others as they recounted the good they’d done. Well, sort of good. There was usually some destruction along the way.

He should’ve known this particular high would come down and he definitely should’ve known the source, but he still swore under his breath when a text from Touya popped up one afternoon at work.

So I know Kaminari was drunk as hell that night but I still find it strange he insists he saw you coming out of the women’s bathroom :):)

If there was one thing Shigaraki knew, it was that nothing good came out of Touya using emojis. He only did so when he was being an extra facetious, smug bastard. If only Shigaraki could strangle him through the phone. No, he had to calm down and think about this. The way he responded to this text would set the tone. Flipping out and threatening Touya would confirm his suspicions, but brushing him off entirely would make him even more suspicious. He needed to throw him off track entirely.

After a few minutes of consideration, Shigaraki sent back a text: That’s because I did. I accidentally walked into the women’s bathroom and walked in on Uraraka. It was fucking humiliating.

Well shit. That’s one thing you can’t unsee.

Shigaraki leaned back in his seat behind the counter at the game shop, feeling rather proud of himself. The best way to disarm Touya was to humiliate himself. He enjoyed that, and he wouldn’t expect Shigaraki to admit to something like that unless he was true. After ten years of knowing each other, he had learned a thing or two about the people he (illegally) kept company with. His phone buzzed again.

That hickey on Uraraka’s neck was hard to unsee too

Shigaraki slid his phone across the table, so hard it fell over the side and tumbled onto the floor. “Fuck.”

Yeah, okay, there was no getting out of this one. He’d thought he had been careful enough that time, doing his best not to leave any visible marks so no one would know. Plus, he wasn’t sure how Uraraka felt about it. She might’ve been the one to drag him into the bathroom that night to makeout (or at least he’d assumed that was her plan and she hadn’t complained when he’d kissed her), but…

Of course she wouldn’t want others to know that she was doing any of this shit with him. Just being associated and seen in public with him had fucked with her career and life. If people found out that she was...doing anything physical with him, she’d never hear the end of it. He could only imagine how humiliating it would be for her – how shameful it would look. She’d be mocked horrendously at best and scorned horribly at worse if people knew. He might’ve been a little embarrassed, but no one would look down on him.

Hell, he’d probably get congratulated for still managing to snag such a hot piece of ass despite being a former villain.

Just thinking about those online assholes pissed him off. He folded his arms across his chest and glared at the counter like it would do anything, but mostly he had to hold his hands under his arms to keep them occupied. Without his gloves, he was liable to destroy something. He’d said a lot of horrible shit about heroes during his life – and to be fair, he didn’t regret any of it, even if he now knew that some of it wasn't exactly true – but he hadn’t been disgusting like those gross bastards.

It honestly made him miss his vigilante days. It would’ve been nice to teach them a lesson, just like he had that one idiot that cornered him outside of work a while ago. How fun would that be?

Oh, no, now you’re good now, Shigaraki reminded himself dryly. You’re a single dad to an adorable baby girl studying to take uni classes and driving a minivan while in some sort of semi-pre-relationship with a hero and one of the sweetest girls in Japan.

When he thought of it like that, he kind of wanted to scream. His old self would’ve murdered him on the spot if he’d known this was who he was going to become. Granted, his old self was also a selfish idiot with a complete disregard for his own life, so he didn’t have much sway on his current self.

While he was brooding behind the counter, Makino walked out of the backroom, pulling out her earbuds as she did so. Her eyes fell on his phone lying on the floor, so she went over to pick it up and set it down on the counter. “You look like someone pissed in your rice.”

“Guess who,” Shigaraki said.

Makino tapped her lips and then smiled. “I’m gonna guess Touya.”

“How did you know?”

“A funny feeling.” Makino jerked a thumb to the shiny, new camera installed in the corner of the room. “You might want to put a not-so-moody look on your face. You know they’re looking for any excuse to fire you.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “Then they can go ahead and bite the bullet and fucking fire me if they want.”

Shaking her head, Makino said, “I’d rather they don’t. Then I’ll have to open with Sugawara and he’s annoying . At this point, I think the only reason he quit asking me out is because he’s scared of you. If you’re gone, he’ll be obnoxious all over again.”

“I could threaten him?” Shigaraki suggested.

Makino snorted. “Then you’ll for sure get fired!”

“Nicely,” Shigaraki added. “I can do it nicely.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Makino pointed out, walking away so she could straighten some of the games lined on the wall. The last guy to come in here had shuffled everything out of order. Shigaraki probably should’ve fixed it, but he hadn’t bothered, and if Makino really wanted to busy herself, he wasn’t about to stop her.

“Hm.” Shigaraki eyed the camera out of the corners of his eyes, then unfolded his arms and sat upright. “If he really does bother you, what about a hero?”

“Isn’t that like an abuse of power or something?” Makino asked, tossing him a look over her shoulder. “I thought you were against that kind of thing.”

Shigaraki shrugged. “You’re a civilian in need of help. Saving someone isn’t always about punching someone in the face. It can be about keeping someone safe or putting a stop to behavior before something bad happens.”

As she dropped her hand to her side, Makino turned around to face him and looked at him directly for a moment without saying anything. Before he could ask her what her problem was, she piped up, “Wow, that was really mature of you – and really thoughtful too. I don’t think people really view heroes like that.”

“Yeah, well–” Shigaraki scowled. “Get back to straightening up the shelves.”

Instead of getting offended, Makino just laughed and turned around to continue doing as she was told. Shigaraki eyed her briefly before picking up his phone and pulling up his chat with Touya again. He couldn’t completely ignore him, not with that last message hanging in the air between them. The fact that he hadn’t responded yet confirmed that Touya was right. He might not know what was going on between them, but he now knew that there was something, and he was very eager to exploit that knowledge.

Who needed enemies with a friend like him?

Yeah and? Shigaraki finally sent.

Oh no, you don’t get to lie and then act all blase about it 

Wasn’t aware I had to tell you all the details of my life

You were all up in my fucking business when you found out I was related to heroes. I think the tables are turned now that you’re hooking up with one.

Shigaraki furrowed his brows and furiously typed back, We are NOT hooking up.

What else do you wanna call mauling each other in a grimy bar bathroom? Making love?

It took everything in Shigaraki’s power not to chuck his phone across the room. Instead, he took a deep breath and responded as coolly as he could: If you ever say something like that again, I’m gonna smack the shit out of you without a glove on.

So you’ve not progressed to that level then. Awww you’re such a gentleman.

No, Shigaraki would not throttle Touya with his bare hands. He wouldn’t do it. He wasn’t going to fall to that idiot’s level. Touya could have his fun and get his kicks now, but sooner or later, he’d either lose interest or he’d find another victim to torture or he’d do something humiliating that Shigaraki could turn on him. It was how it always worked with them. Neither one of them had been great at this whole civilian gig, so they were bound to fuck up in the dumbest ways that caused a month of mockery.

Well hey look at it this way. Now you can’t get mad at me.

That gave Shigaraki some pause, the anger slowly ebbing out of him. Of course he could get mad at Touya for taking the piss out of him. Wasn’t that the point? Touya was trying to rile him up on purpose and piss him off? He idly lifted a hand to scratch his neck, pausing when he felt his blunt nails dig into his skin, and then dropped his hand onto the counter, considering the text before sending back a response.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

He waited, but after five minutes, there was nothing. Shigaraki frowned further.

Touya? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

A response from Touya never came, not even by the time he got off work and left to pick up Yukiko, but if Shigaraki’s suspicions were correct – and he knew his former second-in-command quite well – he wouldn’t have liked it anyway. That arrogant bastard.

*

For some unknown and frustrating reason, out of all the things to push Shigaraki to the point where he couldn’t avoid things any longer, it had to be that stupid text conversation with Touya. Of course, he would never know that in a million fucking years, as he’d never let it go, but something about his words burrowed into Shigaraki’s brain and refused to go away. It wasn’t even that big of a deal or held any importance, but once he started to think about something, he had a difficult time letting it go.

Hooking up. That was essentially what they were doing, right? He had told Uraraka that he wasn’t capable of holding a real relationship – and he’d stand by that – but he had to admit that it felt more than just “hooking up” or whatever. He...liked her. It wasn’t just about tolerating her anymore or not minding her or being neutral. It felt good being around her – and it really felt good being with her. Just thinking about it like that made his skin crawl, if only because it came close to admitting other things, but he couldn’t deny it anymore.

Before, being around her had been a matter of convenience. She helped out with Yukiko and, in a sense, she helped him too. It was a good fit. His therapist was absolutely thrilled with the progress, and his parole officer was equally pleased after finding out via those tabloids. Luckily, she had been wise enough not to believe those stupid articles, but the fact that he was surrounding himself with positive influences had to be a good thing. And the only person more positive than Uraraka was Midoriya, who had to be the most annoyingly bright person out there, even more so than All Might himself.

It wasn’t a matter of convenience anymore. If he was being realistic, he could’ve cut ties with her a long time ago, but no, now he actually sought her out. He messaged her first, he saw things throughout the day reminding him of her, he wanted to hang out with her. Especially now that some invisible line had been crossed, it was like there was some sort of humiliating gravitational pull that dragged him to her.

And no, he didn’t really mind it anymore.

Still, this concept that they were just “hooking up” didn’t sit right with him. Shigaraki was fully capable of being casual and not giving a fuck about things (although certainly not to Touya’s level), but this wasn’t it, unfortunately. It sure as hell would’ve made things a fuck ton easier if it was. If he and Uraraka just wanted to hook up and then remain friends or whatever, that would’ve been cake. There wouldn’t be any sort of pressure about what they were doing and he certainly wouldn’t be brooding about it. The thought that it would end at any given moment wouldn’t linger in the back of his mind.

Because it would end. It had to end. There was no fucking way that anything serious could come out of this. He knew without a doubt that Yukiko meant a lot to Uraraka and he would put his daughter first before anyone and anything else, but there was too much history between them. In the moment, he could almost forget about it, especially when she was pressed up against him, but it was always there, waiting for him to remember, waiting for him to remember that she knew it too.

You can’t go from actively trying to kill someone and their friends to dating them. That was only in the those stupid romance novels, and life was not that. She would eventually realize he could never give her the relationship or life she deserved, no matter how hard he fought to improve himself, and he would have to accept that. He kind of already had, but he wasn’t about to tell her that.

Except…

Fuck, he kind of wanted a bit more while he still had it within his grasp. He wasn’t the type of person who allowed himself to live in some stupid fairytale, but for fucking once, it would’ve been...nice to have something normal and real like some goddamn normal civilian that didn’t have the same bloody past as him.

He didn’t want to just hook up with Uraraka until it fizzled out. It was more than that, and he wanted to have more. Call him greedy, but it was human.

And so that was how Shigaraki found himself on a Friday night, downright glaring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror while Yukiko sat in the bathtub playing with her toys. “This is a fucking stupid idea,” he grumbled.

Yukiko stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry. “Oh, Dada.”

Shigaraki shot her a disgruntled look. “Now you’re making fun of me.”

In true fashion, Yukiko laughed in delight and slapped the surface of the water so hard that it splashed everywhere. His lips twisted into a displeased grimace, but she didn’t seem to give a shit. Turning back to the mirror, he ran his fingers through his hair again for what felt like the hundredth time and then gave up. Whatever. There was no fixing this. No matter what he did, he’d still look like himself.

Wrangling Yukiko out of the tub took some time – she’d probably stay in the tub for hours if he let her – but as soon as he got her dried off, she managed to slip out of his grip and darted out of the bathroom, butt ass naked. 

"Seriously?" Shigaraki demanded, still kneeling on the bathroom floor. "Get back here!"

"No!" Yukiko yelled back, following her refusal with a laugh of pure abandonment.

"For fuck's sake," Shigaraki muttered as he got back to his feet, his knees protesting a little more than he would've liked. The villain lifestyle was hard as shit on the body, and it wasn't like he was getting any younger these days. Gripping the towel tightly in his right hand, one pinky out, he stomped out of the bathroom and down the hall to find Yukiko running around in the living room. Shit, it had been easier before she could walk. “You're gonna catch a cold, and then what? You'll be a miserable pile of shit.”

Judging by the way Yukiko danced in the middle of the room by hopping awkwardly up and down, she didn't care what he had to say.

Shigaraki huffed. “Fine then. We'll do this the hard way.”

Catching Yukiko wasn't the difficult part. She was barely past his knees, and her chubby little feet and legs couldn't match his long lanky ones. He might not be a villain or vigilante anymore that could keep up with heroes and fight in hand-to-hand combat, but he was fast enough to catch a child that had only learned to run a month or so ago. Luckily, she thought it was funny when he managed to snatch her up, wiggling and squirming like the bug Touya called her. No, the difficult part was getting her dressed. She fought him at every angle, and he was terrified of accidentally hurting her by forcing her arms and legs into clothes when she protested with an unnatural amount of strength.

Right as he was doing his very best to slip a shirt over her head while she yelled at him, there was a knock at the door and a familiar voice calling, “You okay in there?”

Grunting in frustration, Shigaraki pulled the shirt off her head and bunched it into a wad in his hand, resisting the urge to chuck it across the room. As he stood up and made his way to the door, Yukiko continued to run around shirtless while smacking her soft belly like some sort of gorilla. He ripped the door open and practically shoved the pajama shirt into Uraraka's hands before saying a word.

Fortunately for him, Uraraka looked more amused than irritated by his abrupt action, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Having some trouble?”

“She can sleep naked for all I care,” Shigaraki snapped, throwing his hands up and stepping out of the way.

Stepping inside, Uraraka pointed out, “She just might.”

“Wha–?” Shigaraki turned around and immediately spotted the pajama pants lying on the living room floor sans the legs that were just in them. The baby in question was no longer in the room, her laughter coming from her bedroom now. “Yukiko! I just put those damn things on you! What the hell?”

Uraraka giggled and picked up the pants. “All kids go through this stage.”

“Yeah, well, it's still fucking weird,” Shigaraki muttered as he shut the door.

“She just needs a little coaxing.” Uraraka peeked into her bedroom and smiled warmly. “Hey, baby girl!”

“Ura!” Yukiko exclaimed, immediately clambering to her feet and launching her tiny body at Uraraka's legs. He watched with folded arms as Uraraka sat down on the ground and easily put Yukiko's pajamas on her. Of course she did. It wasn't like Yukiko could be this easy for him. She loved to fight and make things last three times as long. It was like she enjoyed seeing him glare and huff angrily.

Touya would probably say it was karmic punishment, and he’d probably be right.

Once Yukiko was properly dressed in her pajamas and playing with some noisy toy laptop, Uraraka returned to the main room wearing somewhat of a smug expression. He could think of a few ways to wipe that look right off her face, but he knew with Yukiko awake and just in the other room, she’d be awkward and uncomfortable about it. Didn’t make it any easier to hold back.

Great. You sound like Kaminari whining on the PlayStation about how long it’s been since he’s gotten laid.

“So,” Uraraka drawled as she made her way over to him. “What’s the occasion?”

“Can’t I want to just get out of the apartment?” Shigaraki countered edgily. “I’ve been working my ass off since I got back. Gotta give them a reason not to fire me, after all.”

Uraraka held up her hands in surrender. “That’s fair. I was just...kind of surprised that you, uh, wanted to go out. Are we meeting up with Touya and the others?”

“No,” Shigaraki replied. “I think Touya and Kaminari are working.”

“So…it’s just us?” Uraraka asked, stopping right in front of him.

Shigaraki was so tense that he wouldn’t have been able to unfold his arms if he wanted. He glowered down at her, lips pressed into a thin line, admitting absolutely nothing. It didn’t matter. That smug look on her face blossomed into something more obvious.

“Where we going?” she asked in a far too innocent tone to be real.

“KFC,” he shot back, and she actually laughed. “Do you have to ask so many questions?”

“I’m just curious!” Uraraka insisted. “You got a last-minute sitter and everything.”

Shigaraki leaned back slightly so he could finally uncross his arms and pull his phone out of his back pocket. “Yeah, and he’s running late, so that’s a good look for him.”

Uraraka tilted her head. “He? It’s not Fuyumi?”

Before Shigaraki could explain the level of desperation he’d fallen to, there was another knock on his door and the worst voice in the world cheerfully called out, “I’m here!”

That smug look was quickly replaced by a shocked expression, Uraraka’s eyebrows raised and her eyes wide. “You actually called…”

“Shut it,” Shigaraki hissed, waving a hand at her as he stomped over to the door. Without saying a word, he tore the door open once more, turned his back to the person standing in his doorway, and then walked away. He really didn’t want to look at All Might right now.

“Sorry I was late,” All Might apologized. “I was in the middle of dinner when you called.”

Shigaraki gritted his teeth. “You didn’t have to come if–”

“No, no!” All Might cut in quickly. “I don’t mind. I’m more than willing to watch little Yukiko and help you out. As a single father, it’s not often you get a chance to go out on a date.”

While Uraraka’s cheeks burned pink, Shigaraki angrily exclaimed, “It’s not a date!”

Then, he had to deal with the sideways look from her and the sheepish look on All Might’s face as he apologized, and he really couldn’t handle it right now. He just had to get out of here before he exploded. Between Uraraka’s curiosity, his own nerves, and All Might’s good-natured behavior, he was likely to lose his shit and cancel this whole thing. Except it wasn’t a thing. It was just a hang-out. People did this all the time. It was a normal, stupid, civilian thing.

And it was not a date because he didn’t do dates.

Knowing that letting Yukiko see him leave would cause her to throw a fit, Shigaraki forewent saying goodbye to her and pointed to a paper on the kitchen counter. “There’s a list of info if you need it. She might want a snack before bed, but she’s already eaten dinner and taken a bath. Call me if anything happens.”

“I will, but I think we’ll be fine,” All Might said. “Have fun!”

Resisting the urge to grab Uraraka’s wrist and drag her out of the apartment as quickly as possible, Shigaraki instead grabbed his coat with his wallet and gloves stuffed inside and then went to leave. He paused, took a slight breath, and opened the door without stepping through it. Uraraka politely said goodbye to All Might, giving him a brief hug, and then walked through the open door. Without another word, Shigaraki shut the door and then stalked toward the elevator as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did, seeing as how his heart was jamming furiously in his chest.

“Well, that wasn’t awkward,” Uraraka piped up as they stepped into the elevator.

Shigaraki let out a sigh as he slid his arms into the sleeves of his coat. “I’ll be better when we come back.” He rolled his eyes at Uraraka’s one raised eyebrow that said she didn’t believe him. “I promise .”

“Mmhm,” Uraraka hummed, leaning back against the wall. “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The bell dinged, and the doors opened. Shigaraki turned to face her and, with great difficulty, held out a hand. “Can we forget about that humiliating moment and move on for now?”

Uraraka eyed him for a moment and then, with an almost shy smile on her face, took his hand. “Depends. What are we gonna do?”

To be honest, while he had come up with plenty of plans they could possibly execute, the moment Uraraka actually took his hand, her pinky finger out, Shigaraki couldn’t think of a single one. Shit. He’d figure something out.

*

Shigaraki had taken a lot of things into account except for one thing: his own discomfort. Even when he was in some uncomfortable situations, he never had to think about it much when he was with Uraraka. Besides, after the past year, he was rarely uncomfortable with her so much as with his surroundings. That was a part of the problem now, being out in the open for everyone to see, but for some reason, he was struggling with her too.

Due to the fact that it was winter, they were able to hide under multiple layers. With her hat, scarf, and coat, it was almost impossible to tell who she was from a distance. Someone would have to really get up close to recognize her. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but feel like he was a pretender. Everywhere he looked, he saw civilians going about their day, normal couples spending an evening together before it got too cold to enjoy. Hands being held, people leaning up against each other, kisses on the cheek.

Then there was Uraraka walking beside him, shooting the shit with him like he was normal too and this was normal – and he couldn’t ignore the fact that it felt off.

His discomfort over being alone with her hadn’t been a problem before, at least not to this extent. Granted, aside from that one time they’d gone to the movies after escaping those weird villain fuckers, they’d never really hung out just the two of them in the outside world, at least not without Yukiko. That barrier was gone and so were the others. It was different when they were in his apartment. It didn’t feel real entirely, like they were in some liminal space where the rest of the world didn’t exist and neither did their past sometimes.

It really was strange out here where he couldn’t hide from the fact that they were different. They weren’t normal. He wasn’t just some normal single dad. She wasn’t just some beautiful young woman. They weren’t like that couple strolling through the park holding hands or husband and wife dining together at a candle-lit table for their anniversary or even just two friends having a night out on the town. They were more than that. They were complicated.

And admittedly, pretending was a lot easier said than done, especially when he couldn’t forget shit.

A hand on his arm pulled him out of his thoughts, and Shigaraki stopped walking, looking down to find Uraraka gazing up at him curiously. “You okay?” she asked softly. “You’ve been a bit, uh, preoccupied for a while.”

“Yeah, I’m just–”

Shigaraki’s eyes caught reflection of a couple in a window, the two of them laughing and leaning in close to one another as if sharing some intimate moment. He stopped, staring at them, until his eyes slid over to his and Uraraka’s reflections. They were standing close to each other, but there was an obvious distance between them, a gaping chasm he couldn’t fill or cross, her looking at him in concern and him just standing there stiffly.

What were they doing?

“What are we doing?” Shigaraki blurted.

Uraraka furrowed her brow. “Um, I guess we’re walking back to your place after seeing a movie and eating dinner?”

“No, I mean–” Shigaraki pressed two fingers against his temple. “What are we doing?”

Slowly, Uraraka pulled her hand away, her face falling slightly. “If you don’t want to be out here or you aren’t having a good time, then we can call it a night.”

Despite the hint of a bite in her words, it was such a safe response, so safe that it kind of pissed him off. Was she really not struggling with this right now? Maybe not, since this was a normal thing for her. While she hadn’t gone on a date aside from that Monoma guy in a year or two, going to the movies and eating out with friends was typical. It was so basic. She didn’t even bat an eye at the suggestion, save from the fact that it had come from him. This was her life. This was her world.

He was just this...ugly blip in it, an outlier that didn’t make any sense and couldn’t possibly fit in it no matter how hard he tried to pretend.

“Are you having a good time?” Shigaraki questioned.

“I am,” Uraraka answered without missing a beat.

“And it’s not weird for you?”

With a roll of her eyes, Uraraka shot back, “What do you want me to say? Yes, it’s a little weird. You’re not exactly the dinner and a movie or wine and dine type.” No, he wasn’t, which was partially why he was so uncomfortable with this, but he couldn’t get it out of his head that it might be her type – that he had to do more if he wanted more. “But you’re the one that brought this all up, so I said yes. I was curious.”

“But is that what you want?”

“What?”

Shigaraki gestured vaguely. “The wine and dine type – is that what you want in the long run?”

“I–” Uraraka pressed her lips into a thin line, her expression not particularly pleased. “What is this? You invite me out on a–” On a date. Despite what he yelled at All Might, this was definitely a date, but it appeared that neither one of them could say that out loud. “And now you’re interrogating me about my wants? I thought we were just going to take this as it went.”

“Yeah, that’s great in theory, but in practice, it’s kind of fucked,” Shigaraki said.

Taking a deep breath, Uraraka carefully asked, “Okay, so what do you want to do?”

“Uraraka,” Shigaraki snapped. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know what I want!” Uraraka burst. She clenched her jaw shut and looked around surreptitiously, but no one seemed to be paying any mind to them. Everyone was lost in their own worlds, be them happy or gloomy as hell. She balled her hands into fists and took another breath. “Look, I don’t– I don’t really know what I want right now. Do I want a relationship or does something that serious with an actual label scare me too much? But honestly, how long could we go on just pretending this is nothing? At what point do we have to think about Yukiko – about ourselves?”

“Exactly,” Shigaraki breathed out. “Exactly.”

Something akin to relief washed over him. It couldn’t be relief, however, since her words also struck a chord with him. As nice as it was to know she was on the same page, they were still struggling with the same problem. Any other two people would become serious and actually get in a relationship, but they weren’t just any two civilians. They weren’t just two people with a normal history behind them. They couldn’t ignore that. She deserved more than that.

“You’ll want something serious eventually, won’t you?” Shigaraki pressed.

This time, Uraraka was the one to fold her arms across her chest. “I don’t think it’s fair to put it on me. Are you saying that you’d never want something serious?”

“I’m not saying that I don’t want it,” Shigaraki told her. “I’m saying I don’t know if I’m capable of it.”

Uraraka opened her mouth to argue, but nothing came out. And that was the problem. When it came down to it, they could have their fun and do whatever, but he didn’t know if he could progress past this. He didn’t know if he was capable for a lot of reasons: one) this shit wasn’t his thing, and two) he didn’t deserve it. All these happy couples and the two of them walking around pretending to be just like them reminded him how much he’d hated it before. These people were so damn ignorant, and he couldn’t be one of them. He couldn’t forget.

Every time he felt the urge to reach out to Uraraka, he’d think about how he’d reached out to kill her before. Every time he wanted to pull her in close, he’d remember how much that disgusted him and pissed him off, to the point of wanting to murder everyone around him. Every time he tried to picture a future with her, a relationship that resembled something normal and good, he’d think of all the futures he’d stolen without a care, sometimes with glee. Had the League done some good too in the end? Sure, but never without consequences or lack of concern.

And apparently never without regret in the long run.

“We’re kidding ourselves,” Shigaraki said, turning away from her and looking out into the crowd. “We got comfortable and it’s easy to pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist when you stay in a bubble, but out here…”

“Out here you’re just reminded that we’re not like everyone else,” Uraraka finished. She’d attempted to keep her tone flat, but it was impossible to hide all the emotion from it, not her. She wore her heart on her sleeve, even when she tried to hide it. She was good like that, kind, open. He didn’t deserve someone with a heart like that.

“The reason you and Bakugou broke up wasn’t necessarily about kids,” Shigaraki pointed out, knowing full well that it would sting. Indeed, she reared back, clearly affronted, but she kept her mouth shut. “It was about moving forward, progressing in your relationship. You wanted more, and he strung you along for a while with the hope that you could get it. I’m not doing that to you. I’m not gonna pretend like I can be someone I’m not.”

“I don’t want you to become someone you’re not. I just–” Uraraka grabbed his arm again, pulling him back slightly so he’d look her in the face. “I want you to become the best version of yourself.”

Shigaraki pulled his arm away. “That’s still not good enough.”

“How do you know?” Uraraka demanded.

“Because it isn’t!” Shigaraki grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to look at their reflection in the window of a closed store. A startled look briefly crossed her face, quickly replaced by a determined one. Oh, she was really putting up a fight with herself. “Look at us – really look at us. We’re miles apart, and we’re never gonna be on the same level.”

“If you’re just gonna keep bringing up your past–”

“I am,” Shigaraki cut in. “Because see these hands?” He tapped his fingers along her shoulders, the safety of his gloves keeping a layer between them. “Do you know how much blood is on them? Do you know how many lives I’ve taken with these hands?”

Underneath his grip, Uraraka stiffened, her body going tense and her determined look turning more into a glare. “You sure do know how to take a girl out.” Ah, now she was getting mad. Good. “And that’s a trick question because you don’t know the exact answer either.”

The words cut deeply, but she was right. Both he and Touya had talked about how there was so much that they didn’t know about their own fucking crimes. At their trials, there couldn’t be an exact number of murders tacked onto their sentences because the particular method of their quirks didn’t leave evidence. They weren’t the type to leave bodies behind unless they were trying to make a point to the heroes about their gross incompetence.

And here he was, pretending like that had never happened and he could move on and be happy. What a fucking joke. It was like the better he felt – the happier he became – the more his guilt grew.

“I can’t be like these people, Uraraka,” Shigaraki told her in a strained voice. “I can’t– I just keep thinking about how many futures like this that I destroyed. Why should I get to live some happily ever life when I ruined so many others? Where’s the fairness in that?” He let go of her shoulders and stepped back, holding out his hands. “I get a few years in prison and boom, now I can get a normal job and have a kid and live a normal life and you–” He rubbed his face and shook his head. “I can’t do that.”

“Okay, so you resolve yourself to a life of solitude,” Uraraka huffed, slapping her hands against her sides as she spun around. “Where does that leave Yukiko?”

“I–” Shigaraki glowered. “I’m her dad, so she’s my responsibility. It’s not like I chose to have her.”

Uraraka pointed at herself. “But you can’t choose me?”

“I can’t have you,” Shigaraki said, “and you sure as shit shouldn’t choose me.”

“First off, you wouldn’t have me,” Uraraka threw back.

“That’s not–” Shigaraki let out a frustrated growl. “You know what? Yukiko does deserve a better father. She deserves one that doesn’t have so much fucking baggage. She’s gonna grow up and people will eventually find out who her parents are, and god fucking knows how she’ll be treated then. It’d be best if she cut off all ties with me as soon as she could or I find someone else to raise her.”

Uraraka threw her hands up in the air. “Where the hell is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“C’mon, Uraraka, what did you expect from someone like me?” Shigaraki demanded coldly. “I’m about as damaged as you can get. Did you think you could fix me?”

“No,” Uraraka snapped, stepping closer to him. “I thought you could work on fixing yourself. I’m a hero, but I’m not here to solve everyone’s problems.”

“Then what is it?” Shigaraki asked. “Why are you here? What in the hell could I possibly offer?”

“I guess nothing, seeing as how you won’t even try .”

“Or did you think we could fall in love and then you’d finally get the family you’ve always wanted?”

Something changed at that moment. A myriad of emotions flickered across Uraraka’s face, the biggest one being hurt. He could see it flashing in her eyes, the way tears sprung to them almost immediately, and regret struck him in the face like a semi-truck. When all this started, he’d just wanted to explain that he was struggling to cope between the possibility of his future and the brutal honesty of his past. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted to give her everything she wanted – how much he wanted to be fucking better – but he didn’t know if he was capable, and he didn’t want to lead her on if he couldn’t. She was important to him.

He’d forgotten that he tended to treat the most important people in his life with the worst of himself. It was a really good way to push people away and keep others at an arm’s length.

“Yeah, because I just pushed myself into your life so I could have a kid,” Uraraka said, an angry sardonic tone dripping from each word. “Ugh, you sound like Katsuki now. Great.” She looked away from him, most likely trying to hide the tears shimmering in her eyes. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but maybe...maybe it was too much. If you don’t want...this–”

I do want this, Shigaraki thought, but the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth.

“–then I guess we’re just wasting our time here, huh?” Uraraka finished.

“More like I’m wasting your time,” Shigaraki said. “You might not know what you want now, but this can’t be it. We have to be realistic about this. What if I never want to progress past this? What if I never want to get serious? How long are you willing to wait to find out if I can get over my shit or not?”

Uraraka wrapped her arms around herself, a sure-fire sign that she was trying to protect herself. “I figured we could talk about it when we got there.”

“And if we did become serious, then what?” Shigaraki asked. “Like it or not, we’ll always be from different worlds. You’re a hero; I’m a former villain – and to many people, not-so-former. We got a dose of it with those few tabloid articles, but what are you gonna do if it’s true? How do you live with yourself then knowing you threw away your values for what? For who?”

She closed her eyes and said in a very quiet voice, “I don’t know.”

“How are you going to tell your friends? Your fans? Your parents?” Shigaraki pressed. “Even then, that’s just a huge if. I can’t give you the life you’d want. I can’t give you the relationship – the partnership – that you’d deserve. There will always be something lacking. There will always be distance. I’m not–” He breathed out and gestured to the crowd once again. “I’m not them, and I can’t be. I’ll pretend as much as I can for Yukiko, but eventually, even she’s gonna find out that I’m a fraud, and… I don’t want to disappoint more people than can be helped.”

A mirthless smile touched Uraraka’s lips. “Well, it’s a little late for that.”

“You knew this about me from the beginning, Uraraka,” Shigaraki pointed out.

“I don’t know.” Uraraka finally met his eyes, and he almost flinched at the disappointment in them. “I kind of thought you’d actually grown over the past year, but maybe you’re still the same emotionally stunted asshole that doesn’t have a clue about the world around him.” Shigaraki opened his mouth, but she held up a hand to cut him off. “No, I think I’m done. I’ve heard enough tonight. I’m going home. I have to work early tomorrow anyway.”

Despite his own words and idiotic behavior, a part of Shigaraki wanted to walk her back to her place, but he was at least smart enough to know that was a terrible idea. How many mixed signals could he give in one night? He was already pissed as hell at himself. All he’d wanted was to have a night out with her, and now it looked like they’d never have a night out again. A strange mixture of relief, frustration, and exhaustion swirled inside of him, leaving him incapable of saying a word as she gave him one last look and then walked away down the street on her own.

When she finally vanished from sight, Shigaraki ran his fingers through his hair and spun around, walking in the opposite direction. He noticed a few people were finally looking at him oddly and probably had been for a while, but he kept his eyes focused straight ahead and refused to look back at them. He’d made such a fool of himself and had embarrassed Uraraka in public too. What the fuck had he been thinking? Couldn’t he have waited until they got back to his place or maybe just said the right words instead of insulting her?

Fucking hell, he really had sounded like Bakugou.

By the time he got back to his apartment, he was too angry to even be cold. How stupid could he be? He’d gone out of his way to take Uraraka out like a normal human being, like she deserved, and he absolutely blew it beyond all means. He’d ended up going out of his way to reduce whatever they had to ashes. He couldn’t have destroyed it any better with his quirk.

When he unlocked his door and threw it open, aggravation spiked in his chest. Instead of being asleep in her bed, Yukiko was currently sitting on the couch with an apologetic-looking All Might. The hour was late, almost nearing midnight, but she looked wide awake, bouncing up and down on the couch.

“What the hell is she doing up?” Shigaraki demanded.

“Dada!” she exclaimed, nearly tumbling forward off the couch in her excitement.

Luckily, All Might caught her and brought her back to his lap. “I’m sorry. She wouldn’t go to sleep. She just kept crying in her bed, and I felt so bad, so…”

“Whatever,” Shigaraki grumbled, stomping over toward them. “You can leave now.”

All Might’s sheepish smile turned into a concerned frown, which was the last thing he wanted to see. “Are you alright? You seem quite bothered. Did you not–?”

“It was fucking great,” Shigaraki snapped, jerking out his hands. “Now give her to me and get the fuck out.”

Instead of handing Yukiko over to him, All Might pulled her closer to his chest. It was a subtle move, one someone else might’ve acquitted to her lack of balance and tumbling back against him, but Shigaraki knew what it looked like when someone was protecting someone else. It was probably a knee-jerk reaction, but it still pissed Shigaraki off to no end.

“Seriously?” Shigaraki seethed furiously. “You think I’d hurt her?”

“Of course not, but–”

“I would never hurt her!” Shigaraki yelled. “I’m not some fucking monster that I’d put her through the same shit as me. Now give me my goddamn kid!”

Before All Might could further argue or question his behavior, Yukiko began to wail loudly, great big tears slipping down her cheeks. Shigaraki was left to stare as she squirmed in All Might’s arms until her back was turned to Shigaraki and she’d thrown herself into All Might’s chest, clinging to his shirt tightly. Her cries cut through the angry red fog in Shigaraki’s mind, startling him so much that he staggered back slightly. For a moment, all he could do was stare blankly as All Might soothed her until she calmed down.

God fucking damn. He was really two for two in making people he cared about cry tonight.

“What happened?” All Might asked, much more serious this time. He rubbed Yukiko’s back and rocked her until she was reduced to simply sniffling.

“I just…” Shigaraki closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I got what I deserved.” He opened his eyes, held out his hands again, and managed through gritted teeth, “Please.”

After looking at him for a moment, All Might peeled Yukiko off his shirt, turning her around and murmuring, “It’s okay. Daddy was just upset. He’s not mad at you.”

Yukiko looked at him with the most pitiful gaze, her red eyes shiny with a film of tears and her chubby cheeks flushed and stained. What felt like a day later, she took a step forward on All Might’s leg and allowed Shigaraki to pick her up and hold her against him. It would’ve been impossible to describe the relief and warmth he felt when Yukiko wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her wet face into his shoulder. She didn’t hate him. It was okay. He might’ve scared her, but he could apologize.

She didn’t hate him.

Once All Might had gathered his things, he turned back to Shigaraki, who had started to pace the room while holding Yukiko closely. “If you need anything else…”

“I don’t,” Shigaraki said flatly, keeping his eyes trained on Yukiko. He heard All Might sigh and then leave, the door clicking shut behind him. After locking the door, Shigaraki carried Yukiko to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. He kicked off his shoes, not bothering with anything else, and then laid down in the dark beside her.

Yukiko placed her hands on his face, patting his nose and his cheeks and nearly poking him in the eye, unable to see him without any light. “Dada…?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” Shigaraki said tiredly, defeated and worn thin. “Might just be us now.” He moved to take his gloves off, then hesitated. Moments later, he laid his gloved hand down on Yukiko’s head, smoothing her hair. It had really grown in the past few months and had become as unruly as her. “Maybe it’s for the best. It’s less complicated this way. I would’ve fucked it up eventually, so better sooner than later, right?”

“No,” Yukiko said, despite not knowing what he was saying. “No, Dada.”

Shigaraki could’ve laughed. Instead, he said, “Yeah, you’re probably right,” and pressed his face into a pillow. This was definitely not how he’d imagined this night going when he texted Uraraka, but fuck if it wasn’t him.

He couldn’t destroy something serious if he wrecked it in the beginning before it got there.

Notes:

I promise....the next chapter will be better? XD

Spoiler: it's got some of my favorite Touya development.

Chapter 47: Oh how the turn tables

Notes:

Whyyyy did it take me ten billion years to write this? My problem was that I came up with these scenes forever ago, and they were fresh and strong in my mind then - but I literally didn't have the time to write them. Lesson learned: if I come up with a scene, write it immediately, no matter what. That would've solved so many problems.

Chapter Text

Shigaraki wasn’t stupid enough to think life would simply go back to normal after whatever the hell he’d done that night, but he’d forgotten about his ability to carelessly wreck things, especially in his own life.

For the most part, he’d gotten a lot better about self-sabotage, even more so after Yukiko came into his life. It was one of the major things he had to work on in therapy, going as far back as his time in prison. He’d wanted to destroy everything, including himself, and had to unlearn a lot of nasty habits that put everyone in danger. It didn’t matter what he wanted to break: anything in the way was liable to be destroyed.

Including, apparently, Uraraka.

Looking back on that night, Shigaraki could see exactly what he’d done. In another self-loathing twist, Uraraka had innocently been in the target zone. He’d say she was collateral damage if he’d not purposely hurt her in the end. There was no way he could say that he’d believed his words and actions wouldn’t hurt her feelings, especially when he wasn’t upset about her radio silence the following week. She wouldn’t contact him, which was exactly what he’d been going for that night. He had wanted to push her away, so he did what he did best: he hurt her. Maybe he thought he was protecting her from a future of bullshit, but honestly… He didn’t know.

And he didn’t know what he was doing now, if he was honest. A part of him – the logical side of his mind that had scraped along the edges his entire life, hanging on by a thread at times – knew he was spiraling. He was angry at himself and the situation, frustrated that he’d seemingly undone over a year’s worth of progress for no real reason, confused about what he was supposed to do next. He could feel himself closing off from everyone, taking longer to respond to Iguchi’s texts, ignoring gaming invites from Kaminari, and even being short with Touya.

Every day he looked at his phone, and every day he didn’t get a text from Uraraka. It was probably for the better.

He tried to focus on Yukiko, but his mind was slipping even there. She spent almost ten minutes trying to clamber onto the couch while he was zoned out on a television show he didn’t even give about. When he got home from work, he’d play single-person video games while she did her best to entertain herself, much to her frustration. When she cried for attention, his temper flared up, but then he’d shove it down and pick her up. She was a baby. All she wanted to do was play or just for him to do stuff with her. She didn’t deserve his attitude too.

But it must’ve rubbed off on her. It wasn’t until the end of the week that he realized Yukiko had been quieter than usual, almost sullen. At night, she clung to him needily, refusing to sleep in her bed. It aggravated the hell out of him, but short of listening to her cry herself to sleep for an hour or two, he had to give in. If he moved her back to her bed after she fell asleep in his, she’d wake up a few hours later and wail for him at the top of her lungs. It was like she was back to being four-months-old.

After seven days of takeout and microwave food for lunch and dinner, Shigaraki knew he was at a loss. He wasn’t about to say that he was depressed or some shit, but he was definitely slipping back into his old ways before he had Yukiko – and that was something he couldn’t do. Yukiko deserved and needed a better person than that for a father. He spent an entire night cleaning up the kitchen in between entertaining her until she finally allowed him to crash on the couch and watch cartoons.

Shigaraki would’ve loved to say he cleaned up his act right then and there – became a better person, called Uraraka to apologize, explained himself to Touya who he could tell was growing increasingly agitated – but no, when he wanted to destroy something, he didn’t half-ass things. He wasn’t a forgiving person by nature, and the last person he could ever forgive was himself. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to do that, so no, he wasn’t ready to get his shit together, not when he had one more thing to ruin.

The morning started the same as others: his alarm went off, he dragged himself out of bed without waking up Yukiko and got ready for work, then got Yukiko ready for daycare and left before she’d fully woken up. He dropped her off at daycare and then walked to the game shop to open it up. He spent the first hour alone, no one coming into the store, until Makino showed up. Things were fine until another employee appeared too.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Shigaraki asked bluntly.

Sugawara, a young man around Makino’s age, scoffed. “I’m scheduled. We’re getting a huge shipment today for a game release tomorrow, so the boss asked me to pick up this morning.” He rolled his eyes and disdainfully added, “Not that I wanna be here and work with a shitty ass villain, but I’m getting paid extra and get to work with Makino, so whatever.”

One glance at a silent and tense Makino told Shigaraki all he needed to know: it was going to be a long day.

For the most part, Shigaraki kept to himself throughout the day. When the large shipment arrived a few hours into his shift, he opted to help unload it with Sugawara, leaving Makino to man the front. He could tell the younger man was irritated about his “alone time” with Makino being cut short, but Shigaraki didn’t give a damn. He put in his earbuds and got to work, going into auto-pilot mode and allowing the manual labor to take over his brain. By the time they were finished an hour later, he was a little sore, but at least he didn’t look as bad as Sugawara, who was huffing and puffing like he’d run five miles.

“You don’t look too hot,” Shigaraki said flatly. “Maybe you should take a break.”

Judging by the glare that Sugawara sent him, he knew Shigaraki’s words weren’t out of concern. After giving him a cold smile, Shigaraki stepped back into the front room and took his place behind the counter again. He stayed there for the rest of the day, idly playing on his phone (ignoring his lack of texts) and watching the television in the corner of the room that constantly aired the E3 gaming channel. The host was talking about the game they’d just unloaded for the night shift to stock. It didn’t look that interesting, if he was honest, but he’d probably still play it. Anything to occupy his mind.

At some point, he heard Sugawara ask, “You gonna actually work or what?” but instead of snapping at him, Shigaraki slipped off the chair and walked out from behind the counter. He ducked into the bathroom, biting his tongue as hard as he could, and locked the door behind him. Just another two hours, and he could get out of this shithole. He had the next two days off. That would have to be enough to recharge him for another six days of work in a row.

Sensing a vibration in his pocket, he pulled out his phone, but there was nothing on the screen. Great. Now he was feeling things. It was just his mind playing tricks on him. Still, even if he’d gotten an actual text or call, he wasn’t sure if he would’ve answered it, unless it was from Yukiko’s daycare or his lawyer. He stayed in there a while, killing as much time as possible, until he could no longer reasonably say he was using the bathroom and not hiding in it.

After splashing his face with water and making a face at his cracked lips, Shigaraki stepped out of the bathroom, prepared with an excuse to organize the backroom so he could be by himself. However, he never managed to get a word out. Instead, he came to a sudden halt when he walked in on Sugawara grabbing Makino by the arm while saying, “You’ll enjoy it, I promise. I’ll go easy on ya.”

“I, um, appreciate the offer,” Makino mumbled anxiously, “but we’re at work, and–”

“We don’t have to go all the way,” Sugawara insisted, reaching out to stroke her hair. “Just a little fun!”

Makino shook her head once in a jerky manner. “I’m, uh, I’m not…”

Sugawara gave her a pout. “C’mon, Makino, don’t be like that.”

It wasn’t the implications of Sugawara’s words or the deeply uncomfortable look on Makino’s face that got to Shigaraki so much as the obvious fear in her eyes and the white-knuckled grip Sugawara had on her. He’d seen that terrified look often – had reveled in it even, recounting the way heroes, civilians, and villains alike looked on at him in absolute horror. He would’ve been able to recognize it anywhere. Shit, he used to laugh about it with Touya.

Did you see the way she looked at us?

I thought he was gonna piss his pants!

She actually cried!

Shigaraki’s stomach turned, and before he knew it, he’d crossed the room and snatched Sugawara’s arm and pulled his hand off Makino. Out of habit, he kept one finger up, even though he was wearing gloves, but that didn’t stop his coworker from turning white in the face.

“She said she wasn’t fucking interested in your slimy ass, so back off,” Shigaraki growled.

Despite looking like he might faint, Sugawara managed to steel himself and shoot back, “What are you? Some kind of hero?”

“Do we need one right now?” Shigaraki questioned. “I’ve got a few I could call in case someone needs taken care of.”

Well, maybe not as many as he would have before. Uraraka might not answer his call (and for good reason too), but if he sent her a text saying it was for Makino, she would undoubtedly come. She was fond of the younger girl. The two of them had started texting regularly after meeting at Yukiko’s first birthday, a fact that had left Makino dazed and giddy for weeks.

Sugawara jerked his arm out of Shigaraki’s grip, if only because he’d loosened it. “Oh, right, you’re basically no one now. Not the scary villain, not the prolific vigilante. You can’t even deal with an old enemy. You gotta rely on a girl to take care of your business while you run away like a pathetic coward.”

Anger burned hot in Shigaraki’s gut, but he didn’t make a move no matter how much he wanted to strangle the little shit. It didn’t help that a part of him thought that as well. Even if he had decided to fight Overhaul on his own, there was no guarantee that he would’ve come out on top. He’d been out of the game so long, quite a few years spent locked up so tightly that he didn’t even move some days. Every time he had a serious problem these days, he had to call someone else to help him. Ever since Yukino came into his life, it was like he needed help with everything.

It fucking pissed him off. He didn’t want to rely on other people.

“Knock it off,” Makino demanded. “You were scared to come into work for like a month.”

“Yeah, because this asshole put us in danger!” Sugawara pointed out heatedly. “You could’ve been seriously hurt!”

“Like you weren’t trying to hurt her a minute ago,” Shigaraki snapped.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sugawara scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. “Makino and I are friends. I was just joking around with her.”

Judging by the way Makino rolled her eyes, she didn’t agree, but she said nothing either. Some things were better to ignore. Shigaraki’s neck itched, and his fingers twitched at his sides. He was really tired of ignoring things.

“Was he funny?” Shigaraki asked. “Did you think he was being funny?”

A wary expression slowly found its way onto Makino’s face. “It’s really not that big of a deal…”

“No, I know selfish little shits like him. If you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile.” Shigaraki glared at him. To his credit, Sugawara didn’t look away and glared back. Maybe he was growing a little backbone and getting confident because he didn’t think Shigaraki would do anything to risk his job. After all, he was a parolee and a father. He couldn’t afford to lose his job. “He’s just gonna keep joking around until it’s not a joke anymore.”

“I’m not like one of your villain buddy friends,” Sugawara retorted.

“Oh, I prefer them over people like you,” Shigaraki said. “You act like you’re good, but you hide that shitty asshole nature under the guise of being a civilian. At least villains are honest about who they are.”

“Like you?” Sugawara spat.

Shigaraki jerked a glove off one of his hands. “Wanna find out?”

Sugawara actually stumbled back, that confident act reduced to dust. “He-Hey, you can’t threaten me like that!” He pointed an accusing finger. “I’ll tell our boss! You’ll-You’ll get fired!”

“Can’t snitch if you aren’t around to speak,” Shigaraki threatened.

Before Sugawara could get a word out, Makino yelled, “Stop it!”

Instantly, the tension in the room was cut with a knife, and the moment came to an end. Shigaraki blinked, his mind slowly coming out of the red fog that he’d allowed himself to fall into. He stared at a frightened Sugawara, who was actually sweating and gawking at him like he was a monster. Ah, right, he’d been that person before. He wouldn’t have even hesitated to kill a boy bothering Toga, although she would’ve likely taken out the trash herself. When he glanced at Makino, he noticed the fearful look in her eyes hadn’t faded.

She was still afraid, except this time, she was looking at him.

Fuck.

Awkwardly tugging his glove back on, Shigaraki turned on his heels and snapped, “Whatever. You’re not worth my time. Just stop being a disgusting pig.”

“He’s fucking crazy!” Sugawara said. “He’s still a bad guy. I don’t care what anyone says!”

Makino made an uncomfortable sound. “He’s not–”

“He just threatened to kill me!” Sugawara exclaimed. “I’m not sticking around. Hell no. I’m out of here.”

“But–”

“Just let him go,” Shigaraki cut in as Sugawara scrambled out of the store. With only the two of them remaining, Shigaraki dropped into the seat behind the register, leaned over to prop his elbows on the counter, and hid his face in his hands. “He’s not entirely wrong.”

“You’re not…”

Shigaraki lifted his head up. “I’m not a bad guy? Yeah, I was pretty good there – almost heroic.”

Makino bit her lip, but she didn’t argue with him. No, he might’ve stopped Sugawara from harassing Makino, but he hadn’t been the good guy in this situation either. Truth be told, he was more irritated with himself than anything, but Sugawara was an easy target to project his anger onto. It had felt good to be mad at someone else, and a part of him had desperately wanted him hurt him too, like old times. Might as well go all out, right? Just ruin everything, flush it all down the drain, fuck it.

A call on the store phone interrupted his mental rant, but when Shigaraki caught sight of the number on the call screen, he let out a groan. Makino gave him a knowing but sad look. Yeah, when he fucked things up, he certainly fucked them up good. There was no half-assing a sabotage, especially when it came to himself.

*

Shigaraki had expected a few phone calls after he left work – perhaps one from his parole officer, his therapist, or maybe even All Might – but he didn’t get anything. In fact, he went two days with jack shit, leaving him to meander aimlessly in his apartment with Yukiko instead of dropping her off at daycare and going to work.

Because, as of two days ago, he didn’t have a job to go to, so there was no point in leaving.

Honestly, Shigaraki would’ve preferred a phone call or a bunch of texts blowing up his phone over to what he got. Instead of a call or text he could avoid, he got someone pounding on his front door and then Touya’s voice demanding, “Let me in, you fucking idiot!”

Shigaraki glowered at the door from the couch where he was gaming. Even Yukiko paused her attempt to chew through a toy car. Since he hadn’t responded and Yukiko was uncharacteristically quiet, he considered ignoring it until Touya either got pissed and left or gave up. He’d probably send a flurry of furious texts, but that wasn’t anything he couldn’t ignore. There were a lot of people he didn’t want to deal with right now, but Touya was at the top of the list. The others might feel sorry for him or try to even be understanding, but that wasn’t Touya’s style.

No, he knew exactly what life was like for them, and he was absolutely unforgiving, just as Shigaraki would have been if the situation been reversed. He just didn’t want to deal with that kind of honesty right now.

“I know you’re in there,” Touya growled on the other side. “You’re logged in on your gaming system, dumbass.”

Indignation burned in Shigaraki’s chest. Now he’d ignore Touya out of spite, and the bastard would know it. Served him right for storming over here like this. This apartment complex wasn’t like his old place – he couldn’t force his way in, pick the lock, or break down the door like Shigaraki’s last shithole apartment – so he’d have to suck it up and leave if the door never opened.

Unfortunately, Yukiko made the decision for him, clambering to her feet and shrieking, “Uncle Touya!”

Had she said anything else, Shigaraki might’ve looked over it as well, but those two words punched him in the gut. She was excited and happy to see Touya – and no wonder, because she’d been holed up with him for a while, and he’d been nothing but a moody bastard and might have ignored her a little. She rushed to the door as fast as her chubby, little legs could take her and slapped the door as if she could open it herself.

Letting out a sigh, Shigaraki set the controller aside and stood up. “Okay, okay.”

When he finally unlocked the door and opened it, Touya was standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his face and a downright murderous expression on his face. Ah, that was familiar. Touya had had only a few moods back in their villain and vigilante days: apathy, disdain, twisted humor, or murder. His blue eyes were burning as hotly as his flames, and Shigaraki could even feel heat wafting over him, likely due to him barely suppressing his quirk.

Taking a deep breath, Touya schooled his expression and his quirk and bent down to pick up Yukiko, who was pulling eagerly at his pants. “Hey there, bug. You must be miserable stuck with this asshole. I was too. He was so fucking annoying when he got in these moods.”

Shigaraki rolled his eyes and stepped aside so Touya could enter the apartment. Like Touya had been any better. He shut the door and turned around, watching as Touya continued to talk with Yukiko like she could understand him. She couldn’t, but it was good to keep the habit up, as it helped her speech. Her pediatrician had been very enthusiastic about Yukiko’s vocal progress, saying it was above average for her age, especially considering what she’d gone through in the very beginning.

“Okay, your idiot dad and I need to talk,” Touya told her in a strangely serious tone. It didn’t fit him. Plus, he was talking to a baby. “I’m sorry if it gets loud. Cry if you get scared. It’s okay. Now, how about you play in your room for a bit? I brought you a new toy from Aunt Fuyumi.”

“Didn’t picture you being this soft,” Shigaraki scoffed.

Touya placed Yukiko in her bedroom with a new doll that Yukiko grabbed with delight and shut the door, leaving it slightly ajar. “Yeah, well, anger can still scare a kid even if it’s not directed at them. I’d rather not scar your kid too.”

Shigaraki folded his arms across his chest. “So you’re mad?”

“Hell yeah I’m mad,” Touya snapped. “I’m pissed as fuck.” He pointed an accusing finger at him, a bit of smoke drifting from his fingertip. “I don’t know what your problem is, but you’re acting like a total fucking jackass idiot .”

“Very eloquent.”

“I’m serious!” Touya exclaimed. “What the fuck happened?”

“Nothing,” Shigaraki said flatly.

“Bullshit,” Touya scoffed. “You finally get over that fucking wall to be with Uraraka – and don’t deny it, because I could see the difference clear as day. You were happy. It was weird, but it was good, healthy. It was fucking progress. God knows we need it.” He wasn’t wrong. Sometimes, it felt like their lives were nothing but uphill climbs to reach the same plateau that civilians chilled on like it was nothing. “And then you washed it down the drain for what? For fucking what?”

Shigaraki furrowed his brow. “How do you–?”

“She’s best friends with my little brother, you dipshit!” Touya cut in. “He was over for a family dinner when she called him crying. She didn’t want to tell her friend Mina and she was worried about how Deku would respond, so she reached out to Shouto, and he–” Touya pinched the bridge of his nose. “You do not want to run into him any time soon. He’s liable to strangle you with his bare hands.”

That indignation from earlier sparked again. What was it with Todorokis always managing to irritate him? “It’s not his business, so he can stay out of it – and you can too.”

“Well, too bad, because I’m now a part of this shit too, so thank you for that,” Touya retorted dryly, placing a hand on his chest. “You absolutely wreck things with Uraraka, one of the best things to happen in your life aside from that little monster in the other room, which, okay, I get it. You don’t think you’re worthy of it. You’ve ruined lives, killed people, destroyed things with a single touch, and she’s this perfect ray of sunshine that you shouldn’t get to even see, much less touch. I get it.

Shigaraki looked away from him, that old itch tugging at him. Fuck, Touya really knew how to press his buttons, didn’t he? He was so talented at it, to the point where Shigaraki almost thought it was his quirk. He could find a person’s triggers with pinpoint precision and would poke them repeatedly until he got a response. He’d done it since the day they first met, but today, it felt particularly personal and vicious.

“But then you get fired from your job?” Touya continued, throwing his hands up in the air. “What the hell is going on?”

Shooting him a sharp look, Shigaraki demanded, “How do you know that?”

“Makino called Uraraka,” Touya responded bluntly. “You didn’t respond to her texts after. She didn’t know you two weren’t talking, so she messaged Uraraka and then Uraraka got a hold of me through Shouto.”

“Oh, great,” Shigaraki seethed. “It’s nice to know everyone is in my business.”

“Yeah, because they give a shit about you.” Touya gestured vaguely, an annoyed look on his face. “I don’t know why since you’re clearly hellbent on fucking everything up.”

Shigaraki looked away from him. Honestly, he wasn’t really pissed off that Touya knew. He would’ve found out eventually, either from him or someone else, but the fact that Uraraka was the tying factor unsettled him. She hadn’t called or texted him but had found a way to tell Touya instead. Because she still cared about him even though he hurt her. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve done had Uraraka actually called him, but…

He hated how much he wished she had.

Even worse, he hated that they weren’t even talking and she was still helping him out. It would’ve been less painful had she ignored it entirely and left him to deal with this on his own.

“She’s too good for you,” Touya pointed out.

“You think I don’t know that?” Shigaraki shot back.

“No, you definitely do, which is why you took the most aggressive ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ route,” Touya said. Well, that was one way of saying it, but he wasn’t wrong either. “I know it’s gonna take the rest of our lives to get remotely comfortable with our past selves, but how many times do we have to hash the same shit out? We’re never gonna be good enough for the people in our lives. We’re always gonna be broken pieces of shit.”

Shigaraki scoffed. “You’re really good at pep-talks.”

“There are plenty of days and nights when I just want to leave,” Touya continued. “I get mad that Fuyumi is so damn nice to me – so helpful and patient. I get frustrated when Natsuo shows up at my job in the middle of the night after a late shift in the hospital just to chat and hang out. It pisses me off to no end that Shouto–” He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I hate how relieved I am that they still want me in their lives – that they wanna be in mine. I’m sure if I told them I wanted space, they’d give it to me. And I’m also positive if I acted like you did, they’d throttle me.”

“Since your little brother knows everything, I’m sure Fuyumi does too,” Shigaraki grumbled.

Touya snorted. “Yeah, and she’s devastated. She’s really worried about you. I told her it was pointless since you don’t give a damn.”

Shigaraki couldn’t deny the sting in his chest. When he’d picked that argument with Uraraka, he hadn’t really been thinking about the rippling effects it would cause. Yukiko seemed down, confused once again why Uraraka wasn’t around, he’d spiraled and lost his job, and now it was causing stress in other people’s lives. Touya looked like he had a stick up his ass, Fuyumi was upset, Makino was worried. The problem with “character development,” as Midoriya called it, was that the pain he caused others actually hurt him too.

“She’ll get over it,” Shigaraki settled on saying. “This isn’t her life. She doesn’t need to get so involved that she’s hurt over every little thing I do in my life.”

Touya’s eyes narrowed. “You’re really stuck in your own head, huh.”

Furrowing his brow, Shigaraki questioned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Where does this end?” Touya asked. “You can push your little hero ex-girlfriend away. That’s fine with me. Hell, maybe you acting like a total ass and forcing Fuyumi to keep her distance is a good idea too. I barely think I should be around her, much less you too.”

“I can start ignoring you as well,” Shigaraki snapped.

With a careless shrug, Touya replied, “Sure, go ahead. I’m a pro at pushing everyone in my life away – it’s a nasty habit – so it won’t bother me much.”

“Then what the hell are you doing here?” Shigaraki demanded.

“Because, for some ungodly reason, I gotta be the voice of reason here,” Touya said, pointing an accusing finger at him, “and I’m pissed that you put me in this position.” He placed a hand over his chest. “Trust me, I’d love nothing more than to be in bed right now, but no, I had to come over to either pull the stick out of your ass or put a boot up it.”

“My life isn’t your responsibility.”

“Nah, it isn’t,” Touya agreed, “but someone has to think straight since you aren’t.” What a ridiculous statement. As if Touya could think straight for anyone, including himself. “Yeah, okay, you’re not good enough for Uraraka. Boohoo, you were a villain, and she’s a hero. You were and still are a terrible human being. She’s the human definition of a ray of sunshine.” He rolled his eyes. “Honestly, she’s probably better off without you.”

Shigaraki glowered at him. “Gee, thanks.”

“And my sister is definitely too good for your shitty attempt at a half-assed friendship,” Touya continued viciously. “I’d much rather her not worry over your dumb ass, but my sister has an unfortunate history of caring for people that don’t deserve a second of her time.

Touya held out a hand. “Iguchi has been loyal to a fault no matter what happened or what you did or decided to do, which you also don’t deserve since you can’t make up your mind anymore. He’s wasting his time. Hell, dumb as he is, even Kaminari is too good for you! He’s grown and matured while you’re stuck being a self-destructive bastard.”

“What the hell?” Shigaraki snapped. “You just gonna list everyone in my life that I don’t deserve to be around?”

Touya held out his hands. “Why not? You seem hell-bent on ruining all the relationships in your life. I’m just trying to figure out where it ends. Me – or Yukiko?”

The anger boiling in Shigaraki’s blood froze. Judging from the steely expression on Touya’s face, he’d known it would do the trick. He folded his arms across his chest, watching as Shigaraki processed his words. The thing about Touya was that he was a lot more patient than he came off. He was explosive at worst and temperamental at best, but he had managed to keep his identity a secret for years. He knew how to wait until the right time – or the worst, depending on his mood.

“I wouldn’t…”

“No?” Touya countered. “The most innocent person here, out of all of us, is Yukiko. She was a victim right from the start – neglected, abandoned, and god knows what else. She was so–” The corner of his lips dipped into a frown as he remembered. “She was so small and quiet . I forget sometimes because she’s healthy and happy now, but she–”

They both glanced at her bedroom door where Yukiko could be heard babbling, still content with her toys. The employees at the daycare had remarked on multiple occasions that she was very independent for her age. She played with other kids, yes, but she preferred to play with toys on her own. It made raising her a little easier, but maybe he took advantage of it a little too much sometimes.

”Before Yukiko, if you’d decided to wash your life down the drain again, I might’ve let it happen – stepped back and watched it happen so I didn’t get caught up in it too.” Touya let out an aggravated huff and unfolded his arms. “I would have liked to do that now, but the funny thing about our kind of recovery is that we grow a conscience. Didn’t know how annoying that would be, so thanks a lot.”

His indignation flared again. “You don’t have to–”

“No, I don’t have to care, and I don’t want to care,” Touya cut in coldly, “but I’ll be damned if you fuck that kid up the way our fathers messed us up, and the way you’re going, it’s gonna happen all over again.”

Touya’s words cut right through the red fog in Shigaraki’s mind. He might as well have punched him in the gut. All Shigaraki could do was stare at Touya, who glared right back, no backing down.

As expected, both Shigaraki’s biological father and All for One were brought up during therapy. He usually tried to avoid the topic, but there was no getting away from it completely. He hated falling back on the whole “my father was a bastard” thing when it came to his behavior, past, and current issues. Of course they had something to do with all this bullshit, but the crimes he’d committed couldn’t be laid entirely at their feet. He couldn’t keep blaming them for what he’d done, just as surely as Touya couldn’t blame his own father for everything.

At the end of the day, their fathers hadn’t murdered all those people or resorted to terrorism (well...All for One kind of had a hand in that), so it was important for them to accept responsibility if they were ever going to get better or had hope of rejoining society completely. Shigaraki had been improving – or at least, he thought he’d been, but now it felt like he was back at square one.

He couldn’t afford to be there.

“Are you gonna suddenly decide that you’re not good enough to raise Yukiko?” Touya asked, the question damn near slapping Shigaraki in the face. “How long before you pull the same bullshit on her that you did with Uraraka? Because if anyone is gonna be brought down by you, it’ll be her. You gonna wait until she’s in school and the other kids find out that her dad is a former villain? How about middle school when she starts resenting you for the way she’s treated?”

Shigaraki clenched his hands into fists. “Are you advocating me giving her up?”

Instead of answering him, Touya kept up a brutal pace. “But by then, you’ll have spent years pulling this shit on her – distant and moody because you feel ashamed of yourself, then wanting her close because she makes you feel like a better person. You keep this up, and she’s gonna grow up insecure about every relationship in her life.”

“So what do I do then, huh?” Shigaraki demanded. “Do I give her up now and save her the pain? Because you’re right: she’s far better than I deserve. I’ll probably ruin her life too. She deserves better.”

“She deserves someone who actually wants to be in her life!” Touya yelled back, gesturing sharply at her door. “She was already abandoned by her mom. You gonna do the same thing to her? Just drop her off with a complete stranger because it’s better for her – or because it’s easier for you?”

“I’m only gonna bring her down in the end too. If it gives her a better chance–”

“Oh get over yourself!” Touya cut in. “Despite yourself, you’ve managed to give her a great life. I don’t know how you pulled being a good father out of your ass, but you did it. Now you’re a step away from washing it down the toilet, and I’m not gonna let you do that. You’re not gonna fuck up her life because yours was fucked up.”

Shigaraki sneered. “What are you gonna do? Take her yourself?”

Touya stepped forward without hesitation. “If I have to do that until you get your head out of your ass, then yeah, I will.” The heat in his eyes was familiar, but Shigaraki hadn’t seen it in years. It was determination like no other, something that had laid dormant since their vigilante days. There hadn’t been anything to stoke the fire in him like that since then. “I’ll walk in there, pick her up, and take her right now. Because the way you’re going, it won’t be any good for her.”

“You wouldn’t know what to do,” Shigaraki said with a snort.

“I wouldn’t,” Touya agreed, “because I’m not her father.”

The fight in Shigaraki slowly started to die. “I know. That’s why I want what’s best for her.”

“What’s best for her is that she has her father,” Touya said. “God knows that was all I wanted as a kid.” He shook his head. “And yeah, maybe she would be better off with some white picket fence family, but she has you, and you’re a far better person now that you have her. Don’t throw away and waste what we spent so long wanting and missing.”

Although the fire was still in his eyes, Touya rubbed his face tiredly. The scars were really starting to heal up. He must’ve been doing more treatments. In a few years’ time, they might be just a faded memory. Shigaraki watched him in silence. Coming here must’ve been a struggle, but he didn’t think that Fuyumi had forced him. He’d come over on his own accord. Because no one knew the other like they did. Because they kept each other in check. Because, even though they should’ve cut ties after being arrested, they had each other’s backs, whether they liked it or not.

“Ugh, you’re pissing me off,” Touya groaned, tilting his head back. “I shouldn’t be here, talking to you like this. You’re supposed to be the one that has their shit together for the most part.”

“Yeah, well, one step forward, two steps back.”

Touya snorted. “No, that’s my motto. I’m the slacker; you’re the boss.”

“Not anymore,” Shigaraki pointed out.

Peering at him down his nose, Touya replied, “Nah, you still are. It’s annoying.”

Lacking the energy to argue, Shigaraki shook his head and brushed past him to pick up Yukiko. Judging from the anxious look on her face, she’d wandered into the room at some point during their argument. The idea that he’d scared her in any way made his stomach turn, but… Maybe it was a selfish thing, but he couldn’t give her up. Despite what Touya said about abandoning her, she probably would be better off without him in her life. As she got older, she would likely have questions. She’d learn things – through school, classmates, the news, strangers. There would be no escaping her parents unless he cut ties with her too.

But he couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to do it. If he gave her up, what would he have left? What would that make him?

He didn’t deserve her, just as he didn’t deserve Uraraka, and even worse, she did deserve better. It wasn’t fair that a child as innocent as her had two shitty ass villains for parents. He couldn’t push her away like he had Uraraka, and to be honest, that still stung him. Touya throwing her name in his face only reminded him of how much he wanted her back in his life too and how much of an idiot he’d been.

“You know,” Touya drawled, “I heard that women like honest apologies.”

“I think I might need more than a few words for this,” Shigaraki grumbled.

“Yeah, you fucked up the first actual date,” Touya said. As if Shigaraki needed to be reminded. He tried not to wince at the memory of Uraraka walking away from him that night. “I’m thinking like a month of penance and, even worse, an honest conversation about your feelings.” He shuddered, and Shigaraki made a face. “I know. I don’t like having them either, but Fuyumi and my mom are really good at dragging them out.”

Shigaraki swept a hand over Yukiko’s head, smoothing her hair down. “What the hell am I gonna do?”

“Fuck if I know,” Touya said flippantly. “I preferred the actions over words method to apologize in these situations.”

It took a few seconds, but when Shigaraki finally realized the implication of Touya’s statement, he scowled in disdain. “You’re disgusting.” A lazy grin stretched across Touya’s face, which only served to irritate Shigaraki further. “And seriously? Hawks? You couldn’t have messed around with any other hero?”

Touya shrugged. “I thought it was amusing since he was like my dad’s partner or whatever.” He considered something for a moment and then added, “And you had to get entangled with your nemesis’ best friend, so I’d say we both picked winners here.”

Shigaraki held up a hand. “Forget it. I don’t want to hear about it.” With Yukiko settled down and looking content again, he set her down on the couch. She instantly grabbed the gaming controller and put it in her mouth, but he didn’t have the strength to fight her about it right now. He’d wipe it off later. “Are we done with the intervention?”

“Nope,” Touya said, plopping down on the couch next to Yukiko. He took the controller from her and wiped her slobber off on the couch cushion. “I’m not going until I’m satisfied.”

“How long is that gonna be?” Shigaraki scoffed.

“At least a few matches and takeout for dinner,” Touya quipped. “You’re buying, payment for my sound advice.”

Shigaraki supposed that he could kick Touya out if he really wanted, but he could probably do with being around another adult. Besides, it had been a while since the two of them (and Yukiko) had hung out like this. After his release, all they’d really had was each other in their lives. Fuyumi might’ve lingered on the outskirts of their whatever-it-was, Iguchi over the phone, and Kaminari just a faceless person online, but it really had been just him and Touya for a while. Their therapists had been leery and their parole officers even more so, but it worked out.

Yukiko crawled into Touya’s lap, making it difficult for him to start the game, but he let her. She laughed, bouncing up and down hard enough to make him wince. “Uncle Touya!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Touya muttered. “You’re blocking the screen, kid. How do you get anything done with her around?”

“I don’t know,” Shigaraki responded honestly. He really didn’t. Some days he did; some days he didn’t. There were times when she let him do whatever he wanted, and other times when she refused to even let him take a piss in peace. She was annoying and difficult as hell and demanded so much of him – and he couldn’t give her up. He wouldn’t.

Irritating as it was to admit it, Touya was right. He couldn’t fuck up Yukiko’s future because of his past. There was no simply getting over a wall and being better. It was a constant, exhausting, uphill climb. He’d slipped and fallen, ruining some of the progress he’d made, but he had to climb it again, no matter how frustrating and painful it was. He’d find another job. He’d ask his therapist to double his sessions for a while.

And he’d call Uraraka. There wasn’t a guarantee that she’d come back or even want to be involved in his life again, but he at least owed her an apology. That was the right thing to do, and as a civilian, he had to think about that.

Chapter 48: breakthroughs are never easy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When Uraraka received the call from Shigaraki, she didn’t ignore him on purpose – honestly, she was kind of a little tied up with a domestic hostage case – but she couldn’t deny that she waited longer to message him back. She could have called him when she got back to the office, but she waited to text him until she got home. Maybe it was a little cruel to make him wait, but she was fucking tired. She’d thrown herself into work, picking up hours that she probably should’ve spent in bed or simply resting, and the last thing she wanted to handle was an emotional rollercoaster.

Even worse, she didn’t want to face the fact that she missed him. It wasn’t even about Yukiko this time either. Of course she missed her too, but Uraraka had had a lot of time to think things over. It would’ve been easy to be involved in Yukiko’s life without getting so entangled in Shigaraki’s life too, but she’d allowed it to happen. She’d wanted it to happen in the end. As complicated as it was, she liked him. She enjoyed hanging out with him, talking with him, and just…

She felt like she could be herself. They’d both seen each other at their worst already. What did either of them have to hide?

Truth was, she’d forgotten. After having been single for so long, she had kind of forgotten that the people you cared for the most were capable of hurting you the most as well, and, as he himself would say, Shigaraki was all too good at hurting people. She knew more of his history than most people, more than what the media knew about, more than what had been talked about during his trial. She wouldn’t step on toes and say she knew him better than Touya or even Deku, but she did know him.

And she understood where he’d come from that night. She’d been wounded, devastated, and certainly upset, but she wasn’t an idiot. Those same thoughts had been swirling around in her mind too; she’d simply done her best to ignore them and keep on feeling good and happy. To be honest, most people would’ve assumed that she would’ve been the first one to crack, seeing as how she was the hero and supposedly goodie-two-shoe, but Shigaraki’s conscience had been the first one to get the best of them.

It really was an incredible sign of his growth and how far he’d come. It would’ve been nice if she hadn’t gotten stung in the process or been at their own expense.

Still, she couldn’t expect him to be perfect. Shigaraki was right. They came from two different worlds with two very different backgrounds and outlooks on life. They weren’t like normal people, and their relationship, even just a simple friendship, could never be normal, not with the history between them. It was something they would never be able to ignore, which she could admit she’d been trying to do. They’d have to work with it, not around it, which sucked. Maybe he didn’t want to go through that constant struggle – or maybe he’d just been as scared as her.

After all, living happily ever after wasn’t something that villains, former or current, dreamed about. It wasn’t conceivable. It wasn’t attainable. The fact that Shigaraki was wavering precariously on the edge of such a normal life with a kid, a good home, and people that truly cared about him must’ve been confusing and terrifying. He’d destroyed that normal family life before. Who was to say he wouldn’t do it again? It had been an accident the first time around too, but that hadn’t mattered to society or him.

In the end, yeah, she sucked up her feelings of anger and pettiness, texted him back that she was available to talk tomorrow, and then immediately called Deku after to see if he wanted dinner. And that was how she found herself sitting across the table from her best friend and the one person she knew wouldn’t judge her. He was a good guy. Perhaps it would’ve been much easier had her crush on him prevailed or maybe not since he admitted to not having time in his life for anyone else.

“So what do you think he wants to talk about?” Deku asked.

Uraraka shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he just wants a clean break. Things are kinda uncertain now.”

“Maybe. Your date did end, uh...poorly.” Deku held up his hands when she gave him a flat look. “Okay, okay, it wasn’t a date.” It kind of was, and they, Shigaraki included, knew that. Had she wanted it to be a date? If she was being honest with herself, then yes, she had, and it had gone well for the most part until it didn’t. “He might want to apologize, you know. He’s done a lot of owning up this past year.”

“Yeah,” Uraraka mumbled, “he has.”

“You know, that’s in part because of you,” Deku pointed out gently.

Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Not really. I didn’t do much.”

“I mean, not to discredit him because he did a lot of work even before you two crossed paths, even if he doesn’t think he did, but…” Deku shrugged. “Yeah, you helped out. I’d like to think I helped out, too. All Might did what he could. Surprisingly, Kaminari came in handy, too. Shouto’s sister sure had her work cut out for her.”

“Maybe it isn’t enough,” Uraraka said. “Maybe the past is too much of a stain. It would always hang over us, wouldn’t it? He didn’t just try to kill us; he did kill people. How can I be with someone that did that?”

“I don’t know,” Deku admitted.

Uraraka took a deep breath and held out a hand, stopping as if she couldn’t get the words out. She let out the breath and sunk in her seat again.  “I get it – why he acted like such an asshole that night. And he wasn’t wrong. If we did try to have anything, it would never be easy. It would always be a struggle because something would come up – either our history, his past crimes, my hero career, family, friends, something . It would never be normal.”

“Does it have to be normal?” Deku asked.

“That’s easy for you to say,” Uraraka said. “Your life is anything but normal.”

Deku gave her a sheepish smile. “Okay, that’s true, but still… If we dated, it wouldn’t be normal either.”

“You didn’t try to commit mass murder and destroy all of society,” Uraraka pointed out dryly.

“Also true.” Deku scratched the back of his head. “Life has a way of...going in directions we never expected – good and bad. I always dreamed of becoming a hero, but deep down, as much as I hoped, I knew… I knew I couldn’t. I had plans to apply to the Business and Support Gear courses as well. And then I met All Might and…”

And the rest was history. It had taken a while for Deku to be honest about his quirk and who he was. By then, it was more than obvious that he was different than the rest of them – that he carried more responsibility and power – but she had to wait for him to tell her on his own time. She was grateful that he trusted her with that information back then, and she was so grateful for him now – that she could come to him and be completely honest and he never judged her for it. He was such a good friend beyond being a great hero.

“Your path crossed with Shigaraki’s again at just the strangest moment when he needed help the most,” Deku said, holding out his hands as if to represent both paths. “So many people would’ve looked the other way, and maybe he would’ve been okay in the end. Maybe he would’ve figured things out on his own eventually – or maybe he would’ve given up faster. We’ll never know because you stepped in and made a difference.”

“I wasn’t trying to be a hero,” Uraraka told him.

“No, you were being a good person,” Deku agreed. “And Shigaraki knows that, I think. You weren’t acting as a hero to do some good in the world, just trying to help someone out.” He sat back in his chair, a familiar thoughtful expression on his face. “And then it just became more – a partnership, a friendship, who knows what. It’s not like anyone’s paths are straight. There are twists and turns, drops and rises. We have times where we can make choices – left or right - but sometimes, we’re just along for the ride.”

Even though she was still feeling worn down, Uraraka couldn’t help but smile. “How poetic.”

Pink dusted along Deku’s cheeks. “I’m just saying.”

“I feel like I’m at a point where I need to make a choice,” Uraraka said. “But I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

Deku tilted his head. “Are you sure about that?”

Uraraka huffed and tapped her fingers along the edge of the table. “Okay, I...know what I want, I think, but I don’t know what I should do.” She stopped her fingers and shook her head. “But it doesn’t even matter. We could have this talk, and he could cut things off completely, so it’ll be for nothing.”

“Okay, okay.” Deku nodded, thinking to himself. “So if he decides he doesn’t want you involved in his or Yukiko’s life anymore, what will you do?”

“Obviously, I’ll respect his wishes,” Uraraka replied. “It’s his life. I don’t want to force my way into it if he doesn’t want me there.”

“What if he does want you to be involved? Just as friends? Would you be okay with that?”

Uraraka hesitated and then said, “I’d respect that too. I could just be friends. I’m at the point where I think I could even be friends with Katsuki as long as he’s not an ass.” When Deku gave her a knowing look, she bit her lip. “It’d be awkward at first and maybe a little...painful too, but I think, with a bit of time, I’d be okay.” She looked away from him, tapping her fingers again. “He’s made an impact on my life too and become some weird part of it that I like, even before all of this other stuff happened.”

“And what if he wants to make up?” Deku asked. “What if he wants to really try to have something?”

“I’d probably explode,” Uraraka blurted.

Deku laughed. “Me too. If he outright says he wants to have a relationship with you, I’ll have to take an hour or two off to recover.”

Uraraka reached over to smack him in the air, but he kept on laughing. “He’s not gonna say that! Even if that’s what he does want, he’d probably spend about three days talking around it and making it seem like it’s not what he actually wants or whatever.”

“Nah, after all this time, I don’t think he could wait that long,” Deku said once he calmed down. “Shigaraki is usually pretty upfront about how he feels. He won’t want to drag it out. It’ll just be hard for him to say whatever he has to say. I never had to guess about what he wanted before.”

“Yeah, to kill you.”

A grin crossed Deku’s face. “I’m not sure if that’s changed, if I’m being honest.”

“And here I thought you two were gonna become best friends,” Uraraka said, sticking out her tongue.

“I’m afraid Shouto’s brother and Kaminari have me beat there,” Deku sighed dramatically, as if he was actually sad about it. “Who knows what we are, but I think that’s fairly standard for my relationships with a lot of people.”

“Glad I didn’t go the ‘beat the friendship into me’ route with you.”

Deku sniffed. “I’m not that bad.”

“It’s like you take it as a personal challenge to make even your enemies become friends with you,” Uraraka said. She threw out her hands and blew a raspberry. “And then I had to go and one-up you by developing a stupid crush.”

“You beat me there.”

Silence fell over them as they both thought about what had been said. Uraraka gazed out the window, watching people as they walked by. Some were alone, others with what looked like a significant other or friend, and then some people with families. She tried not to latch onto any of them, but it was hard not to think about what kind of lives they led – how normal they were, how unexpectedly strange. It was impossible to tell from her spot inside the restaurant. 

Who knew what she and Shigaraki looked like that night before it all went to shit?

*

Uraraka wasn’t sure what to expect when she arrived at Shigaraki’s apartment. For all she knew, she could knock on the door and he’d open it, say something along the lines of “This was a terrible idea from the beginning,” and then slam the door in her face. She had been hesitant about meeting him here – something about it made her worry that she might just agree with anything he said if it was on his turf – but when he called her after she came home from dinner with Deku, she could sense his exhaustion. HIs doneness .

It must’ve been exhausting to force yourself to live a completely different life from the one you’d always known.

So, she took a deep breath, knocked on the door, and patiently waited for Shigaraki to respond. She’d sent him a text that she was here prior to walking up the stairs, figuring he might be busy with Yukiko or something, but he hadn’t responded. That was fine. It totally didn’t spell bad news. She wasn’t going to worry about it.

Right as she was pulling out her phone to text him again, the door swung open to reveal a somewhat disheveled Shigaraki. He smacked his hair out of his face more than swept it away and then stepped aside, a familiar irritable expression on his face. She walked inside, peering around, but didn’t see Yukiko anywhere like she expected.

“Yukiko’s not here,” Shigaraki explained, although he sounded somewhat pained when he said it, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “She’s having an…Uncle’s Day Out with Touya and Kaminari.”

Uraraka brought a hand up to her mouth, trying to hide a smile. “Oh no, Deku is gonna be so disappointed that he wasn’t invited.”

“She doesn’t need anymore dumbass fake uncles,” Shigaraki said quickly.

“It’s adorable to think that you have any control over that,” Uraraka pointed out.

Shigaraki threw a hand up and then shut his door. “Whatever. At least Kaminari is texting me every hour with pictures so I know my child is alive. Touya would ghost me the entire day just to be a dick.”

“It almost sounds like she’s being held hostage.”

“Looking at the pictures, you wouldn’t think that.” Shigaraki hesitated, looking at his phone that was sitting innocently on the counter in his kitchen. “She looks...happy. She needed some time out.”

Uraraka glanced at the phone as well. “Did you ask or…?”

“No, Touya just practically barrelled in here and demanded her.” Shigaraki held up his hands before Uraraka could say anything. “I know, I know. It doesn’t sound like him, but I guess I underestimated him. I’m not the only one that got out of prison and has been in therapy trying to fix up my life.” He attempted to smooth down his wrinkled black t-shirt and then huffed when it did nothing to help. “Did you want a drink or something or…?”

“I’m good, thank you.” Uraraka paused, biting her lip. “Um…”

Shigaraki blew out some air and turned away. “Fuck, I’m– I’m really fucking bad at this. I told Touya it wouldn’t be good, but the bastard wouldn’t let it go.”

“Wouldn’t let what go?” Uraraka pressed, leaning forward slightly.

For a moment, Shigaraki seemed to struggle to find the words, opening his mouth and then closing them. He looked at a complete loss. It made sense. She doubted having open conversations like this with anyone outside of his therapist was easy for him. Touya had his siblings who knew of his history, but Shigaraki, for the most part, was alone. Anyone that might have understood him fully or experienced his pain was dead.

“I was an asshole,” Shigaraki finally said. “I got scared, and I lashed out, because that’s all I really know how to do.”

“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” Uraraka told him patiently.

But Shigaraki held up a hand. “No, let me just– Don’t try to explain it away, okay? For a minute, don’t be nice to me, just be honest. I was a dick. I hurt you, and I did it on purpose, just like I did before, minus the violence.” Uraraka pressed her lips together, but she nodded, giving him the space to speak. “I can’t… I can’t give you everything that I feel like you deserve. I can try, but I know I’ll fail in some respects, and it makes me not want to even try. I’m always gonna be me, and I can’t hide from that or ignore it or forget it.”

“What do you want then?” Uraraka asked plainly, thinking of Deku’s questions the night prior.

“I want…” Shigaraki let out an aggravated breath. “I want to be better. I want to do better. I got in my own head that night, and everything just spiraled. I fucked things up and pushed you away, and then I fucked up my job, and then I figured I’d just cut Touya out too, and then…” He gestured, seemingly vaguely, but his hand moved in the direction of Yukiko’s room. “I could do it by myself. I could do this. It would be so easy to cut everyone out, you know? Just fuck everyone and their hopes and dreams for me and do my own thing. Destruction is so easy.”

Despite the anger in his words, Uraraka softened. “Building is harder.”

“I can’t… I can’t raise Yukiko on my own.” Shigaraki shook his head and hastily added, “And that’s not what I’m asking you to do. You don’t owe either of us anything. Yukiko isn’t your responsibility. I know you’re willing to walk to the plate and do that, but she isn’t. She’s mine . I don’t want you to just be here because of Yukiko or because you feel like you’re needed for her.”

“So…” Uraraka stepped forward hesitantly. “Do you want me here – as a friend or part of your support system or–?”

“I want you here for me,” Shigaraki cut in. Uraraka stopped and blinked in surprise, her eyebrows raising. “It’s totally selfish and fucking bullshit that I had to go and...develop feelings for a goddamn hero, but yeah, that’s the truth.” He swallowed, glancing at her once and then looking away. “I...I can’t promise you everything. I can’t tell you that I won’t fuck up again or take a few steps back or close off. I’m asking way more from you than I can give right now, and it’s not fair, and I–” He shrugged. “I don’t care. When I was a villain, I was selfish and wanted to destroy everything, and now I have to live an actual normal life where I grow.”

“But it’s not normal,” Uraraka said.

Shigaraki sighed. “No, it’s not, and it never will be. I have to face obstacles that most people never have to think about, and in turn, anyone in my life will have to do the same.” He finally seemed to get a hold of himself and looked back to her, his red eyes calmer than she’d seen them before. It looked like he had a lot of time to come to terms with himself about a few things. “I don’t want to be the bad guy anymore. I don’t want to be the villain. And it’s humiliating to say that because that was a shield for me. Being horrible and awful protected me because then I didn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations, just their nightmares.”

And he had been a part of hers years ago. She used to be so afraid that he would kill Deku or at the very least hurt her friends. He’d schemed to kidnap Bakugou. He’d lead a group that destroyed cities. He had made a mockery of hero society and rubbed their faces in the dirt. Once upon a time, she had wanted nothing more than to be rid of him so that she wouldn’t worry about him anymore – so that they wouldn’t be afraid.

But he was really trying to be someone else now. It didn’t make up for what he’d done – like he said, it wasn’t something they could easily forget – but he couldn’t be that person anymore, and he couldn’t let that person hold him back either or he’d go nowhere.

“If I keep pushing away and fucking up,” Shigaraki stated, “then I should give Yukiko up now while she still has a chance – and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to abandon her like I felt – neglect her like I was – hurt her. I don’t want to repeat this stupid, horrible cycle that spit out both me and Touya.” He ran his fingers through his hair, a nervous energy in the air. “I don’t wanna be a monster anymore.”

Despite her own anxiety, Uraraka pushed forward, stepping toward him and reaching up to cup his face. He froze instantly, his entire body tensing, but then his eyes slowly raised from the ground to meet hers. “And you’re not. I know you aren’t that person anymore, but…” She took a deep breath. “I also know that we can’t just ignore it either. It will take years – hell, it might take your entire life – but that’s what living is, isn’t it? Do you want to go back to the way things were before?”

“Fuck no,” Shigaraki stated firmly. Then, he hesitated again, his eyes flickering over her face. “But it’s asking a lot of you to look past that for even a minute.”

“That’s my decision,” Uraraka pointed out.

Shigaraki narrowed his eyes. “What decision is that?”

Uraraka relaxed, her shoulders falling as she looked him in the eyes. “Maybe it’s stupid and crazy and foolish, but I want to try. I think I’d regret it if I didn’t.”

“And what if things don’t work out?” Shigaraki asked edgily.

“Then they don’t work out, and we figure out what to do after that, whether that means we go our separate ways or set up a schedule for Yukiko. You have to wait for a bridge before you can cross it.” Uraraka let go of his face, allowing her hands to drop to her side, but she didn’t step back away from him nor did she look away. “I thought Katsuki and I were gonna get married. We were so in love, and I thought we were gonna get married, start a family, and grow old together – and we didn’t.”

Shigaraki snorted. “Yeah, that’s really inspiring.”

“That’s life,” Uraraka told him. “In the end, we had different paths. His led him to Kirishima, and I’m genuinely happy for them – I am. And mine…” She held out a hand, gesturing at him. “Mine led me to you.”

“Sounds like a shitty path to me,” Shigaraku grumbled.

Uraraka couldn’t help but laugh. “A confusing and very windy one, that’s for sure.”

Shigaraki eyed her for a moment. “And you’re sure you want this?”

“Nothing worth having comes easy, right? Besides, I know what I’m getting into. You keep acting like I don’t, but I do.” Uraraka paused as she gathered her thoughts. She had to be honest, with him and herself. “I like…” Out of all the things to make her blush, it had to be something as simple and basic as this. “I like being around you. I like how I feel when I’m around you. I don’t know why, but I feel confident, trusted, appreciated. I feel like I’m a better hero now than I was a year ago.”

“Oh cool,” Shigaraki muttered. “My hero inspiration streak continues.”

Uraraka smiled. “Whether you like it or not, much like Deku, you are kinda inspiring.”

Shigaraki groaned. “Ugh, don’t compare me to Midoriya. That happened enough back in the day.”

“I think you two could be great friends,” Uraraka teased.

“Don’t kill the mood, okay?” Shigaraki huffed.

Uraraka raised an eyebrow. “There’s a mood?”

“Yeah, there is.” Shigaraki took the final step toward her and, with only a minor moment of hesitation, he laid his hands on her hips, pulling her snug against him. Warmth blossomed in Uraraka’s chest, especially when she caught the rather embarrassed look on Shigaraki’s face. He was trying so hard. The least she could do was have pity on him and not tease him relentlessly. From what she could gather, Touya might’ve done that job for her. “You sure you want to do this?”

“Well, if I didn’t, I would’ve told you to fuck off and that would be the end of that,” Uraraka pointed out.

Shigaraki stared down at her, his eyes a little darker than before. “That mouth of yours has to get you in trouble.”

“You could always get me to stop.”

When Shigaraki actually turned red, Uraraka laughed, dropping her head against his chest. She could feel him scoff, his chest jumping slightly as he exhaled irritably. God, it was so weird! But she was so tired of tiptoeing around things and coming up with excuses. She just wanted to act how she felt. She wanted to tease, flirt, be silly. She wanted to be with him despite every warning sign. Maybe that was a bad thing – maybe it would bite her in the ass later – but she could tell he was serious too.

He wanted to try. In the end, that was all she could ask for.

Getting a hold of herself, Uraraka lifted her head from Shigaraki’s chest and glanced around him at the clock. “So when are Yukiko’s uncles dropping her off?”

“Tomorrow morning,” Shigaraki said. “She’s staying the night with Touya and Fuyumi.”

“Oh, so–”

“So,” Shigaraki said, slipping his hands underneath her and lifting her up. She squeaked in surprise, wrapping her arms around his neck. She almost took away her own gravity out of habit, especially since she didn’t think he had the same muscles as, say, the last guy to pick her up. He didn’t complain, however, so she didn’t. “I’ve got a lot of making up to do.”

Uraraka bit her lip in an attempt to stop from grinning. “You could say that.”

“Living room or bedroom?” Shigaraki asked.

Uraraka leaned down and kissed him, that building warmth bursting in her chest when he reciprocated. “Bedroom,” she said, breathless and giddy as her heart skipped a beat. “But we’re talking more later.”

“Yeah, yeah, understood,” Shigaraki muttered against her lips, carrying her to the bedroom.

There would be plenty of time to talk, but for now, she just wanted to be with him. It was absolute insanity, and she couldn’t even begin to explain her feelings. But Deku was right. Life had a way of making strange turns and going into ridiculous directions, but for the first time in a while, she felt like her path was parallel with someone else’s, and she wasn’t going to run in the opposite direction. Whether or not things would work out between her and Shigaraki, she had absolutely no clue, especially when it didn’t seem like something that should work, but…

She had to try – they had to try – especially if this was what they wanted despite the whole world telling them otherwise.

Notes:

This chapter marks the end of this arc and leads into the FINAL ARC of the fic. Oh, yeah, I think I might've forgotten to say something, but we don't have many chapters left of this. Honestly, this could've possibly been the end, but we have a few...loose ends we need to tie up first. :)))

Notes:

Link to my discord for this fic and others if you wanna join the madness.

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