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So, the thing is, the night was great, consensual and fun and safe. All that good stuff. Except that MJ made a face when she swallowed, which Peter had said she didn’t have to do, and so now... He’s sitting on the couch with Mr. Stark’s arm over his shoulders watching B99 and he’s just gotta ask. “Hey, Mr. Stark?” There’s a hum that Peter feels more than hears, inquisitive but distracted in that way that means he’s lisening closely but also doing four other things in his head. Peter continues calmly,”Does that pineapple thing really make your come taste better?”
The body next to his stiffens, and then abruptly convulses as Mr. Stark jackknifes up out of his comfortable slouch, turning to look right at Peter, who feels the flush climbing his face as he resolutely stares through the TV screen. It’s silent, Mr. Stark working his jaw a couple times before he croaks,”Kid, I-. You-? What the fuck?” Peter looks down, still avoiding all eye contact and sheepishly explains,”Last night MJ and I... did stuff. With our mouths. And her face when she- you know. It looked like it wasn’t... great. So I wanna know if I can make it better.” He nods his head once to fortify his decision, but still avoids eye contact.
Next to him, Mr. Stark settles back slowly, and Peter can hear the smile forming,”So, kid, you got some action? And that Michelle girl, she’s nice, you’ve been making eyes at her for a while now... and you wanna know how to make your come taste better?” The last few words are said in a vaguely absent way. Peter can feel his face flaming red, and at this point he’s curled into himself, hiding away, so his words are muffled, ”I regret everything, never mind, just let me leave so I can forget this ever happened please?” His last word is almost a full whine, but Mr. Stark only chuckles slowly. It’s silent for a bit, and Peter finally uncurls just to see what Mr. Stark is waiting for.
His eyes are kind, and he’s watching Peter with a strange look on his face. Almost like he’s seeing something he never thought he could expect to see. Peter sends him small, slightly embarrassed smile. Mr. Stark opens his mouth, and closes it a couple times, before he finally takes a deep breath and begins speaking. “Pete, first of all, this is something you need to talk to Michelle about. If you’re going to be in a relationship, you need to be able to communicate with your partner about these sorts of sticky issues.” Peter makes a face at the completely intentional pun, and Mr. Stark lets out a short laugh before he continues,”Second of all, in my experience nothing has ever really worked, but drinking a lot of water and having a balanced diet can keep it from getting too bad... I’d suggest you consider condoms?” At this point he looks kind of pained, and his eyes bore into Peter as he questions, “you do use condoms right Peter?“
Peter can’t stutter a ‘yes’ fast enough, panicking now that his sexual education is in question, and Mr. Stark calms significantly. “And thirdly, kid, I’m really happy that you feel like you can come to me with these issues, and I want you to know that I will always be here to listen to you, and help you, whenever you need.“ Peter ducks his head as Mr. Stark ruffles his hair, and for a second they sit and smile at each other. Peter then snuggles in close, sliding under Mr. Stark’s arm and laying his head on the man’s chest so he can hear his heartbeat as he says, “Thanks dad.“
Tony’s voice, when he asks Friday to start up the episode where they stopped paying attention, is scratchy and almost broken, but it’s clear that he’s smiling.