Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sam had a secret. He hates secrets, especially in relationships such as your own, yet still, he has one. It’s not because he doesn’t want to tell you, more that he’s scared to tell you. It wasn’t something that he should do. He’s a manly man after all, just as his father raised him to be. This secret of Sam’s, it’s something he both hates and loves. It’s why he barely indulges himself anymore. For a while, during college, it gave him some good extra cash. Now though, if Dean knew he did it, or even you, Sam would probably disappear forever. The day you found, it’s all he wanted to do.

Walking around the bunker, you were barely holding yourself together. Stuffed in the back pocket of your jeans was a pair of panties that definitely didn’t belong to you. You’d found them in the laundry basket and you were hoping that they were from one of Dean’s flings, though you knew deep down that they wasn’t. Dean didn’t bring them here, and the number had been falling in recent months. Dean’s eyes widened when you pulled them out of your back pocket.
“They yours?” You asked, biting away the emotions.
“Of course not. They’re not yours?” He asked, voice equally filled with confusion.
“Hell no. I’m happy with my Spongebob Boy Shorts” You shrugged.
“Sammy better have a good reason or he’s gettin’ double castrated” Dean spoke, sounding equally as pissed as you.

“We gotta find him first” You murmured.
“He was in the library last I saw” Dean spoke.
“Want me to deal with him?” He asked.
“N-no, I want to do it” You said, the dam holding your emotions was beginning to weaken. Dean nodded.
“I’ll be in my bedroom if it goes south” He said, before picking up a few more beers, rubbing your shoulder and walking away. You smiled to yourself before making your way to the library, where you could hear Sam’s fingers clicking away at his keyboard. Having only found the panties a few moments ago, you hadn’t really formed a plan in your head of how you would bring it up. Though, as you got closer, the rage was purely building inside of you. How could Sam cheat? You did everything for him.

Finally letting your rage get the better of you, you balled the panties in your hand and threw them at Sam.
“I hope she was worth it” You growled, before storming off. His heart sank, he didn’t even have to look up for him to know what it was. He chased after you, barely removing the laptop from his lap before he was up and moving, calling your name down the corridor. He finally found you in the shared bedroom, a duffel on the bed.
“(Y/N)…please let me explain” He begged, panting slightly.
“No Sam, I know full well that they’re not mine or Dean’s. So that only leaves you. Was I not good enough, Sam? Is it because I’m not smart enough? Well you’re in luck. I’m out”
“They’re mine” Sam sighed, not meeting your eyes.
“W-what?” You stuttered, slightly taken aback. You hadn’t expected that.
“Yeah, I uh…I didn’t wanna tell you about…it…but I kinda like wearin’ ‘em” He shrugged. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“Don’t bullshit me Sam” You sighed.
“I’m not. Look at the label, men’s large” He said, holding them out to you.
“Don’t think I wanna” You murmured.
“Please, (Y/N)…I’d never cheat on you…” He begged, and shifted to show you the label. Sure enough ‘Mens L’. You sighed and looked down for several moments.

It was barely minutes, yet Sam’s heart was in his throat. Was it too much? Would you leave him for this? He knows it’s fucked up, he just hopes he won’t lose the one good thing left in his life.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, after several moments of silence.
“I uh…” Sam sighed, shifting, which only lead to you intensifying your glare.
“I was scared, alright. You’re the best damn thing to happen to me in a long time and I didn’t wanna scare you off with something that I did in college to get some cash” Sam sighed, and when you looked up, you saw he’d resigned himself to sitting on the bed with his shoulders slumped.
“If you did it in college, why do you have them now?” You asked, a raised eyebrow.
“I needed some extra cash” Sam shrugged.
“The guys at the bars all love…Samantha” He spoke, the last word coming out as barely a whisper. If not for the silence in the room, you wouldn’t have heard it.
“Sam…you’re gonna have to explain this to me in more detail” You sighed.
“When I was in college, I wore ‘em. It got me some extra cash to get by. Every so often, I bring ‘em out again and wear ‘em. They’re comfortable as hell” He spoke, not meeting your eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked.
“I was scared…It’s not exactly something normal for someone like me to do” He shrugged.
“Well…why don’t you show me ‘em in action?” You asked.
“W-what?” Sam asked.
“Show me what you look like in ‘em…Samantha” You spoke, unsure of whether you could call him that. He shifted slightly, and you realised that he was hard.
“Are you sure?” Sam asked.
“Sure, how about makin’ it an apology and makin’ it a strip tease” You drawled, trailing your hand down Sam’s chest slightly. Biting his lip, he groaned and nodded.

You shifted to sit on the bed, while Sam wandered off, hiding the panties in his pocket. When he returned, you could see just how anxious he was. He closed the door and locked it, making sure Dean wouldn’t walk in. This was something Dean couldn’t see. You watched as Sam shifted awkwardly, before you turned some music on.
“Go at your pace” You spoke, voice soft enough that it soothed Sam. He nodded and made his way towards you, hips gyrating to the music in just the right way. Straddling your lap, he gyrated for several moments before slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He spun it above his head as a stripper would, before tossing it aside. He’d waxed his chest, and you knew from experience that it was incredibly painful to wax any body part, so Sam’s highly sensitive chest being waxed must be agony. His hands moved to his jeans and fumbled with his belt for several moments, his hands shaking.
“Hey, c’mon…you don’t have to do this if you’re too nervous” You spoke, covering his shaking hands with your own.
“Are you sure?” He asked. You nodded.
“You know full well that if you are cheating, you’ll be castrated by Dean and me” You shrugged. Sam grimaced at the thought, and stood up. With less shaky hands, he pushed the jeans from his body, the bright red panties highlighted against his skin. He had a tanned torso and head, but the rest of his body was as pale as ever, and it highlighted the panties in just the right way. You moaned lightly and shifted, pushing him back onto the bed and straddling his hips.

“You look stunning” You murmured, raking your eyes down to where his panties rested.
“I think I got a better view” He murmured, his hands moving to your waist.
“Though, I can think of a few ways to improve that” He murmured. With a smirk, you lifted your t-shirt from your body, tossing it in the direction of the laundry hamper, though you heard it bounce off and hit the floor with a thud. Sam groaned and you could feel the panties tighten beneath you. Climbing off of Sam’s hips, you stood up and removed your own pants and bra, leaving you in only your underwear.
“Fuck” Sam murmured. Looking over, you saw him palming himself through the panties.
“Fuck indeed” You chuckled, watching as he stood up. He tugged you close, kissing you deeply. The material of the panties was rubbing against your stomach in just the right way. You moaned and backed to the bed, laying on it at Sam’s unspoken request. He groaned lightly and mouthed down your chest, before taking your nipple into his mouth. He teethed at the bud for several moments, before soothing the light pleasure-pain with his tongue, before repeating the actions for several moments, until you were a moaning, writhing mess. Sam sat back and smirked.
“I’ve barely touched you” He mused, rubbing his thumb over your hip before moving onto the other nipple. Moaning, you knotted your fingers through Sam’s hair, while he tugged your panties off of your hips. He groaned and shifted to nip a trail down to your thighs. You moaned and your hips writhed as his mouth neared the one place you wanted it to be, his teasing was getting too much. He smirked up to you as he began teasing you, the ministrations of his tongue pulling you closer to the edge until you toppled over the edge, with a shout of his name. Sam smirked and sat back, watching you for several moments. You eventually regained conscious thought in your brain and tossed a condom to him. He smirked and went to remove the panties.
“Keep ‘em on” You murmured. He nodded and shifted to pull himself out of the panties and roll the condom on. You shifted and pushed one leg aside, allowing him to sit between your legs. With a moan, he moved forward and teased your slit with a groan for several moments, his head falling forward slightly when he felt how you were quivering, waiting to be filled. Eventually, he’d had too much and pushed into you, the material of his panties was pressing against your ass in just the right way and he felt amazing inside of you. He groaned, and begin to roll his hips, hitting all the right spots inside of you. It didn’t take long for you to come with a moan and a shout, the noise filling the room equally as much as Sam’s grunts and groans, as he came moments after you.

A while later, you were both laid as normal on the bed, with Sam having removed the condom and tossed the panties aside.
“I like that secret” You murmured, not missing the flush that hit Sam’s cheeks.