Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tina Minoru has never been nervous about anything in her life… except maybe when it comes to making friends. The last time she had a best friend was in middle school, a redhead named Clare who had freckles that she liked to play connect the dots with after they had finished practicing kissing – an absurd activity that apparently all their classmates had partaken in, and Clare hated feeling left out. She never told her mom, obviously, and they had never gotten caught, but part of her wonders if, maybe, they hadn’t been as slick as they thought, because one day she was waiting on top of the monkey bars for Clare, their declared throne of recess, and Clare had walked right by her and joined the soccer game with all the kids they made fun of. Clare told them that Tina liked practicing a little too much and she was called lots of things until high school, when she became so cold and harsh that no one dared to look twice at her. She learned to watch each move that much more carefully, and that friends weren’t worth it.

College was… different. Most of it was spent in a blur of computer science classes and tequila and somehow she came out the other side engaged to a man that was as boring as he was smart and sweet. Her parents approved, one of the only things they had given her, and she and Robert had created the biggest tech company in California. She turned down every coffee invite from people she’d graduated with, and let herself become just another face in the technology field. Well, not just, but the point was that if her “friends” wanted to see her, they could google her. It suited her just fine.

Even tonight. Someone named Jonah, who had gifted the Minorus money they didn’t need but greedily accepted, had arranged a meeting with 10 other people. She’s back in fifth grade standing in front of the Wilders’ door, waiting to be let into some birthday party like the ones in fifth grade. Robert’s hand brushes hers, travels up the back of her arm, and she squeezes her eyes shut, withholding a sigh so big it hurts her throat. “How are you?” Robert asks, voice too soft and too kind. “Fine,” she returns, quick and dismissive. His hand leaves her shoulder, sadness palpable. Where she is unrevealing, her husband is an open book. She hates it. But she isn’t so heartless. She lets her hand take his for a second until the door swings open.

“Tina and Robert Minoru, come in,” says the tall, pretty woman standing on the other side.

“Catherine Wilder,” Tina greets, stepping into the house’s threshold. “So nice to finally meet you,” Robert murmurs at her side, giving one of the smiles she likes the most (uncertain). Catherine gestures them in farther into the foyer; it’s huge, ceilings reaching for the sky, arching back on itself. She is a little surprised by how openly she marvels (only for a few heartbeats). “Please, help yourself,” Catherine says, nodding to a table with a beautiful spread and many, many glasses of – champagne? White wine? She doesn’t care. “The others are already in my husband’s study.”

Others. Like they are all on some big playdate that someone who didn’t have a last name set them up on. She picks up a glass and downs it in one sip – white wine, dry – and sets it down. It kind of is like a play date. But at least there’s alcohol. Robert watches her pick up another cup with only a slight eyebrow raise, says nothing, and sets about making a plate for himself. Her stomach growls softly and she decides she might as well eat something, at least to counteract the wine she knows she’s going to have more of. She makes a plate and then heads towards the door Catherine disappeared through, listening to Robert’s shoes squeak as he catches up to her.

10 heads turn their way as they step into the study, decked out in beautiful wood and art. The pair stares back; Tina’s eyes sweep across the group, skipping over the two redheads who take her back too far into her preteenhood, and settle on a woman with blonde hair and long legs. The woman must feel her staring because she looks back at her and Tina’s faced with blue eyes so soft she feels her heart stop so suddenly she’s not convinced she’s not having a heart attack. The blonde smiles at her, just a wink of teeth, before the man next to her, who Tina instantly recognizes as his epitaph, the Great Victor Stein, spreads his hands.

“Tina and Robert Minoru, Wizard geniuses,” he says, in a voice just a touch too loud, making the blonde woman cringe, shrink back. Ah. Yes. His wife… the name escapes her as he continues, “I wonder what the three of us could create – Wizard and Nemo.” Robert steps forward with a nod, and the pair is folded into the mix. One of the redheads, the short one with big glasses, blocks her view of the blonde and nods eagerly at her plate as she approaches.

“Stacey Yorkes, Synnergy scientist,” Stacey Yorkes says, and Tina remembers reading her information one night in bed this week, “I made that brie.” She looks down at the nice chunk of cheese on her plate and gives it a small smile.

“I have to try it first then.” It’s delicious, better than any cheese she’s ever known, “I don’t say this very often but – this is really good.” Stacey gives her a grin, nicer than she ever expects, but then Robert’s at her side, saying exactly what she’s thinking and she vows to pretend to hate it because… well… Instead of analyzing her relationship with her husband, Tina knocks back the rest of her second glass and sets it on the table, taking a couple of steps away from Stacey and Robert, gripping the table with one table and trying to steady her food with the other.

“The Yorkeses are really sweet,” someone says at her elbow, and she turns, suddenly swimming in ocean blue eyes. She must be wearing her ‘fuck off’ face because the woman’s smile falters, but holds out a hand. “I’m Janet.”

“Tina,” Tina says, because she can’t remember anything else, and arranges her face to a half smile, making sure her uneven heartbeat isn’t making her features do anything weird. Janet’s smile twitches back to its full force.

“My husband is a big admirer of your work.”

“And you?”

“You are a very impressive woman.”

“Thank you.” She feels warmth flicker at the edge of her jaw.

“Another glass?” Janet asks, offering her the glass in her hand.

“Oh, uh, yes, thanks.” She reaches for it, her fingers landing over Janet’s. Maybe it’s because she hadn’t eaten before the wine, maybe it’s because she’s still on edge about meeting so many people, but she can’t hold in the sound she makes at the contact, somewhere between a gasp and a whine. It’s only because of the wine that she lets her fingers linger. At least that’s what she’s telling herself, waist deep in those soft blue eyes. Her face is hot; she’s definitely blushing now. “S-sorry,” she musters after realizing that letting their hands touch any longer than they have been would be… strange. Janet shakes her head, still smiling, murmuring, “For what?” It’s rhetorical, but so many answers burn in Tina’s brain.

It occurs that she still hasn’t taken the wine glass, that Janet isn’t moving away, and that if they were alone and she was just a bit drunker, she would already be leaning in. She’s already close enough to smell the Colgate and wine on Janet’s breath, and she wants, desperately, to learn what that combination tastes like. Instead, she grips the glass better and pulls it towards her, Janet’s fingers slipping out from under hers, and takes a long swallow. “Nice color,” the woman nods at her fingers. The compliment damn near turns her the same shade as her nail polish. She opens her mouth to say, ‘Thank you,’ but instead, 

“Your eyes.” The words slip passed her lips before she can pull them back – not that she could, the alcohol is definitely starting to get to her – and she goes cold. The room around her is still busy with conversation, but the only thing that matters is the puzzled, adorable – adorable? – look fluttering across Janet’s features. “They-“ she cuts herself off, trying to find the rest of the words, “They’re really…” She hasn’t been at loss for words since Clare marched passed her and ended their friendship. She shakes her head and finishes her wine.

“Impressive,” Janet just chuckles, the confusion still there, just under the surface. This transparency is strangely endearing. “Oh, uh, I think your husband is, uh,” Janet jerks her chin over to Robert, who is trying to catch her attention. How long has he been trying? “Right. Sorry… Excuse me.” She floats – or she hopes she floats – over to her husband. The rest of the night, she feels those blue eyes on her.

(When Robert touches her after their first meeting (they were given a name – PRIDE – and it felt very fitting, as nearly everyone in the room felt like a lion, spring loaded, ready to pounce) she imagines Janet’s fingertips dancing across her skin. It is definitely because she is drunk that she let the imagined touch turn into an imagined body and moans. Robert laughs afterwards, kissing her neck, spouting some I’m-a-good-husband-and-I-love-you compliments and she licks over the cut she’d opened up in her lip biting back Janet’s name.)

Chapter Text

At first, Janet Stein didn’t understand who she was. She knew she loved science and inventing and space. She knew she was brilliant with math and physics and gravity. She knew she liked pineapples and champagne more than oranges and white wine. She knew she hated The Office (very unpopular opinion) and when her husband “forgot” how strong he was and left bruises on her arms (very popular opinion, yet she tells no one). She knew these random facts about herself – favorite cereal, shoe size, first time – but what she hadn’t known, what she hadn’t wanted to know, was why her heart used to beat so damn fast whenever she was around her lab partner back in 9^th grade. The girl – Jessica, Jay to her – had tight curly hair that swayed in time with her hips, and always smelled like the peppermint gum she’d been chewing, or the cigarette she’d been smoking, right before the class broke out the beakers and sodium hydroxide. Jay kissed her, once, the only time Janet had smelled vodka on the girl’s breath, in the bathroom of a party, right before throwing up. 

Okay, she isn’t stupid, far from, and she knows now, years later, very, very well as to just why Jay made her feel like all the cheesy pop love songs back in the 90s. But she’s Janet Stein now, for better or for worse. Worse, she thinks with a wounded snort as she flicks through her sweaters, trying to find one that will cover up the fresh bruise on her wrist, this is definitely for worse. Victor had just gripped too tight when she knocked something off his desk, deadly silent, breath smelling surprisingly like oranges and not liquor, until she couldn’t hold in her wince and hiss of pain and he let go. And now they have a PRIDE meeting to go to – the first one at the Minoru house – and she wants to wear a dress that, unfortunately, doesn’t have sleeves.

She could wear something else, but she loves the way the pink matches her blush and contrasts her eyes and, well, it makes her look hot, too, the fabric hugging her waist, neckline a sharp ‘v’ – now that she has friends, she can thank Catherine Wilder and Leslie Dean for the sudden confidence in her own figure. “Wow.” She turns towards the sound of her husband’s voice, feeling her shoulders hunch in just a little. “Janet, love, you look sexy,” Victor laughs, grabbing the bruised wrist and pressing a rough kiss there, “What’s gotten into you?” She gives a half-hearted chuckle and holds her breath until he saunters into their master bathroom.

What’s gotten into you? The words swirl around in her head as they drive to the meeting. Her sweater is black and its sleeves reach the middle of her palm. Victor makes a sharp left and Janet takes in the curly hair and plume of smoke of a woman leaning against a car in the second it takes for them to pass her. She always thinks about Jay on the nights of PRIDE meetings. What’s gotten into you?

The question should be: who’s gotten into you? The answer would be –

“Good evening, Victor, Janet,” Tina Minoru says when they’re standing at the door to the Minoru home. “Good evening, Tina,” Victor returns, giving a too bright smile as he shakes her hand and heads inside without looking behind him. Tina turns to her; Janet hopes she’s not seeing things when she sees those dark brown eyes sweep up her body, and blush start to creep across those cheeks. Though she probably is, she tells herself, even as Tina leans in to press the corner of her lips to her cheek as a greeting. The contact sends her bloods jittering in her veins. Janet has noticed that Tina doesn’t do that with any of the other PRIDE women – not that it matters, no, she’s just an observant person. Except that it does. It matters to her very, very much.

“We have white and red wine. And champagne as well, if you’d like?”

“Hm?” Janet zones back in, realizing she’s still in Tina Minoru’s doorway and the woman is nodding her in, looking at her with quirked eyebrows. “Oh, yes, champagne would be lovely, thank you.” She steps passed the threshold after Tina, and expects to turn towards the sounds of the couples that have already arrived, but instead Tina turns in the other direction and leads her into the kitchen. The woman pulls out a bottle of unopened champagne from a fridge below the counter. “You don’t have to open a new bottle for me-“

“Nonsense,” Tina says, leaning the bottle over the sink, “I know you prefer this over wine.”

“Still,” Janet starts, “I don’t expect-“ The cork pops off, bounces off the inside of the sink and lands somewhere in the dim room.

“Too late,” Tina murmurs, pulling a glass from the cabinet above her and pouring a generous amount into it. Their hands meet around the glass; they’d been doing that for the past four PRIDE meetings, and it quickly became the thing Janet looked forward to so much each month. These quick moments of contact with someone who makes her feel the same way Jay did – even better. Tina’s looking at her still, so close she could just lean in if she wanted to. “You’ve got, uh,” is all the woman says before reaching her free hand out and brushing a strand of hair away from Janet’s mouth, tucking it behind her ear. “There. All set now.”

Tina’s breath smells like spearmint and red wine. It makes her head dizzy and her heart do things it never did – does – for Victor. She thinks she’d like to kiss the woman. In the kitchen. Their husbands one room over. Instead, she takes the cup from Tina and tilts it to her lips, finishing it with embarrassing speed. Tina doesn’t say anything, just refills the cup and tilts her head towards the sound of Dale Yorkes and Alice Hernandez laughing.

“We should head in there,” the woman says, and Janet nods because what else can she do.

Leslie tells her she looks really good, and Catherine tells her she looks hot and compliments her for taking a page out of her own book. Stacey Yorkes rolls her eyes with a grin and says she’s not going to objectify her, but if she were, “You’d definitely be stunning.” Alice nods in agreement and asks where she got the dress. Only Tina says nothing, floating from person to person, but eyes always straying back to her. Ok, she thinks after her second glass of champagne and first glass of red, she’s definitely blushing.

She messes up towards the end of the night. Leslie is giving a little speech, relaying some messages from Jonah, and Tina is standing next to her, so close Tina’s shoulder is pressed against her upper arm, so she’s feeling very warm. Without thinking, she tugs up one of her sleeves. And then the other. She only realizes what she’s done when she feels Tina’s lithe fingers on her right sweater sleeve, and feels the fabric traveling back up to her hand. No one else is looking.

After the meeting, as everyone is saying their goodbyes and is filtering out, Tina keeps a hand on her, holding her back. She’d explode with the touch if her cheeks weren’t burning so hot with shame. “Honey?” Victor says behind her, the Steins being the last pair remaining, “I’m going to wait in the car, ok?” She nods quickly, and, because he’s the Terrible Victor Stein he says, “Don’t be to long.” Robert gives her a nod when Victor’s gone and pads out of the room. The women listen to his footsteps up the stairs before Tina pushes up her sweater sleeve again.

“Janet,” Tina says, in the tone that Janet fears, that keeps her from telling anyone.

“Tina-“ she starts, her words drying up in her throat, because what can she say? Her heart hammers in her ears, so loud she hopes to drown out whatever words Tina is about to say. But Tina doesn’t say anything, just lifts her wrist to her mouth, presses a soft kiss there, leaves a red lipstick imprint. She makes a sound, somewhere between a hiss and a sigh, and squeezes her eyes shut.

“Do you need anything?” Tina whispers. She shakes her head. “If you do, you call me. Immediately. Any time, ok?”

“Ok,” she squeaks, opening her eyes.

Tina’s staring up at her, the only distance between them caused by their height difference. She thinks she’d like to kiss the woman. In the living room. With Victor in the car and Robert upstairs. Her phone ringing interrupts her thought and she jumps, wrenching her arm back. “It’s Victor,” she whispers, “I have to go.”

“Janet,” Tina returns, the hands that were just cradling her arm now on her shoulders, red lipstick coming closer and closer, Tina rising onto tiptoe and her leaning down, “You look beautiful in that dress.”

“Tina, I-“ Can’t, shouldn’t, want to, need to. It doesn’t matter, the end of her protest is lost as their lips meet. 

(When Victor apologizes (in a very dismissive, somewhat sincere tone) later at home, kissing her quickly before heading down to his lab, she pretends it’s Tina. The kiss is still burned into her lips; quick, full, and tender. The kiss left some red on her lips, but Victor didn’t notice when she finally climbed into the car, legs shaking so much she was sure he’d know immediately what had happened. Now she slides into bed, alone for now, and sends a quick text - To: Tina M, 10:08 pm – Thank you xx. – And gets an equality quick response – From: Tina M, 10:09 pm – Anytime ;)  x.)

Chapter Text

It’s the first PRIDE fundraiser and it’s huge. The rented ballroom has ceilings almost as beautiful as the Wilders’, and Tina Minoru is strolling through the set up, staring up. Leslie Dean may be the unofficial head of PRIDE, with her – someone has to say it – very lackluster husband, Frank, submissively by her side, but Tina had something the others didn’t – the quiet air of cruelty, honed from her adolescent years. Because of this, she was put in charge of final touches to the fundraiser and had arrived early, alone. The ballroom is empty of employees, all sent to fetch the massive ice sculpture Janet Stein quietly suggested a week before today. How could Tina refuse the woman who kisses like bubblegum and desire?

At the thought of Janet, she pauses, reflecting over the two months since they’d kissed for the first time. There had been a few more since then, after meetings and once, after an impromptu trip to a fancy bar. The memories make her cheeks darken – but for once she’s worn blush and hopes that’s enough. Her phone buzzes. From: Janet S, 6:30 pm – see you soon xx J. Her lips flick up into an uncontrollable smile (they’ve been doing that a lot) as she reads it. It’s inconspicuous but she knows what it means and it makes her stomach twist and her veins buzz. To: Janet S: 6:32 pm – can’t wait x.

When “soon” comes, the fundraiser is in its swing. She’s spotted Janet across the room more than once, but Victor’s arm is firm around her waist. Finally, after thirty more minutes of Tina dodging Robert and staring out of the corner of her eye, the woman is walking straight towards her at the bar. She smooths down her dress and orders an extra glass of champagne. “Tina,” Janet murmurs when she’s in front of her. “Janet,” she returns, leaning up to press a kiss to the scientist’s cheek. The bartender slides the champagne flutes across the bar top.
“You ordered me a drink?”

“Only the best for my lady.”

The color on Janet’s cheeks is the kind that makes her palms sweaty and her breath hitch. They sip their drinks and watch the room. The party reminds her of the big dances held in her middle school; guests eating hors d’oeuvres on one side, the other half taken up by a sweeping dance floor. The most adult thing about it is the attire and bar. But with Janet next to her, she doesn’t mind the crowd. The string quartet starts to play something, a melody that strikes Tina deep in her chest. She’s never been inclined to be so romantic, but she offers her arm to Janet. “Come,” she whispers, “Dance with me.” 

“Victor and Robert are over there,” Janet breathes. “And you’re right here,” she returns, “And you know how clueless men are.” There’s a moment she’s so afraid that if Janet says no, she’ll be swallowed up by the floor, but then Janet wraps her arm through Tina’s and she feels her heart stop. The scientist is flashing those ocean eyes at her and her knees go weak. She leads the woman onto the dance floor, the pair of them nodding to donors and the Wilders swaying. She stops them closer to the quartet, slightly away from the rest of the dancers, and then puts one hand on Janet’s waist, cupping Janet’s hand with the other. Janet laces their fingers together, puts her free hand on Tina’s shoulder, smiles softly. It’s not the first time Tina’s held Janet’s waist, but it’s the first time she’s not nervous about being “caught”.

Robert, on the other end of the dance floor, chatting up two grey-suited, grey-haired men, looks over and grins at her. She forces the corner of her lips up, then sways Janet so she faces away from her husband. “Janet,” she starts, in the voice she uses to make the scientist blush, “Have I told you yet how beautiful your eyes are?”

“I think you started to,” the scientist chuckles, “When we first met.”

“Fuck, I did try, didn’t I?” How could she forget – it was the first of many times Janet Stein has made her heart do things it has never done for Robert. Janet ‘mm’s in confirmation and she has to push down every urge inside her to kiss her. They sway for the reminder of the piece, and as its tempo switches, Janet’s hand slides down to her waist, fingers digging in between the side cut outs of her dress.

“Janet-“ she starts, feeling heat rise to her cheeks.

“Your blush is matching your dress, which looks really good on you.”

“Yeah?” she manages, brain still caught record-scratching on the fingers brushing her skin.

“Did you wear that just for me?”

Of course. “Maybe…”

“I wonder… if you’d like to get out of it.”

“For you? Of course.”

She wants to, she so badly wants to. They’ve flirted about it every moment they’ve kissed, she’s not quite sure why they haven’t yet, – rational decision making, certainly, but fuck, what about irrational pleasures of the flesh? Not to mention Janet is wearing red lipstick tonight, and Tina wants to know what the color would look like on the inside of her thighs. But she wants to do that right; dinner, dessert, some fancy hotel somehow not using Wizard tech in their building, and time to cuddle after, too. Janet deserves that (deserves all that and way more).

“Remind me again… Why do we keep not having sex?” Janet asks, and the very word makes her already hot cheeks hotter.

“I really don’t know… I’d love to get you out of your dress, too.” Janet turns pink; the woman’s blue dress makes her eyes look even more irresistible (which Tina didn’t know was possible until tonight) but she’d give that ‘pop’ up to finally touch every part of the scientist she’s wanted to. “What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Victor has an important meeting upstate.”

“Leaving his beautiful, sexy wife alone? I thought you married an evil genius.”

“He doesn’t know there’s an equally beautiful, sexy woman trying to seduce me.”

“Spend the night with me. I’ll treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“Tina…”
“Janet…” Janet stops dancing and they stand there, looking at each other, and Tina thinks the floor will swallow her up again, but then Janet whispers, “Yes,” and she could cry.

“Janet, can I borrow my wife?” Robert’s voice sounds next to them moments later. Tina swallows so loud she thinks they both can hear it, but she turns away from the scientist and nods to her husband, taking his outstretched hand – this, she thinks, she can give him. He wants to introduce her to the people he was talking to before.

A few minutes later, her phone buzzes. Tilting her phone away, she reads From: Janet S: 8:54 pm – five mins x. So at 8:59 pm, she excuses herself (“Just need to run to the restroom,” she whispers to her husband) and wanders to the bathroom. Janet is leaning against the sink, grinning. She surveys the stalls – all empty – and then flicks the lock behind her.

“Hey, tiger,” Janet chuckles.

“Hey, gorgeous,” she returns, heart roaring in her ears as Janet straightens up and crosses the room to her.

“I needed a moment alone with you.”

“Oh, really? To do what?” Janet’s breath is sweet on her face, making her knees weak all over again. Tina leans into the hand slipping up to caress her face.

“This.”

And then Janet’s kissing her, so deep the floor drops from under her and she’s flying.

(“Did you have a good time, honey?” Robert asks that night, after the fundraiser and the ride home. She doesn’t lean out from their bathroom, where she’s twisting her hair up into a bun. “Mmm, it was nice,” she allows. “Of course it was, you were in charge of it.” “Did you have a good time, Robert?” “Yes. I think we are going to do some really good things with PRIDE.” She waits until she hears him settle down into bed before she pads out of the bathroom, heading for the door. “Are you not coming to bed, Tina?” Robert asks as she steps into the hallway. “In a minute, Robert. I just have to send out the thank you notes to the catering company and band,” she murmurs. He grunts in acceptance, and she heads for her office where, after she does, in fact, send thank you’s to all parties involved in the fundraiser, she sets up a hotel reservation for tomorrow night.) 

Chapter Text

Janet Stein has done a lot of things in her 25 years of life. She got her PhD, ran three (and a half) marathons, tried acid, the list goes on. One thing that she has failed to do thus far is sleep with another woman. Not because women haven’t wanted to sleep with her, and not because she hasn’t wanted to sleep with them; she certainly has, more times than she cares to admit to herself. She assumed that after marrying Victor it would never be a problem. But now, she’s meeting Tina Minoru later tonight, painfully aware she has no game in this category, and painfully unaware of Tina’s game. There’s one consistent thought as she makes breakfast and sends her husband off with two thermoses and a huge stack of pancakes: I’m going to have sex with Tina Minoru.

Alone in her empty mansion, she stands in front of her full-length mirror, tracing her bare body with her eyes and pointer finger. There’s a new bruise, which she got all by herself – never get on a treadmill while thinking about the woman you’re in love with and cheating on your husband with – and an old one, which she doesn’t remember getting, but swears to herself she thinks it was a genuine accident. Whether she can convince Tina of that or not is another question. But it doesn’t matter because she’s going to have sex with Tina Minoru.

From: Tina M – 3:30 pm: picking you up @ 6 xx. To: Tina M – 3:35 pm: can’t wait!

Given the woman’s stony exterior, Janet never suspected Tina to be the romantic type. But Tina kisses her with all the softness the world doesn’t get to see, and tonight, she’s greeted at 6 pm sharp with the woman leaning against her car in her driveway, a bouquet of roses in those soft hands. “Can I help you?” Janet calls, standing at the top of her staircase, trying to get her breathing under control. “I’ve been searching for the most beautiful woman on the planet,” Tina calls back.

“How’s that been going?”
“Well, I’m looking at her now, so I’d say it’s been very successful. Come down here." 

Tina kisses her around the roses, tasting like wintergreen and excitement. They drive for twenty minutes, holding hands across the console like teenagers She’s wined and dined at some high ceiling restaurant – Tina, she’s learned, loves high ceilings – and they’re playing footsie under the table. The CEO even feeds her bites of her chocolate cake. “Oh, wait, Janet, you have a little chocolate right…,” Tina starts, gesturing towards her. She swipes her tongue around the corners of her lips. Tina gives her a grin and leans across the table, passing her own thumb over the crumbs. “All clean.” Feeling cheeky, she returns, “For now,” and winks. Tina’s blush is the most beautiful color she’s ever seen.

When ‘for now’ ends, Tina is sitting in her lap, kissing her. They are in a large hotel room, blinds open to let in moonlight and streetlight, and making out on the edge of the bed with a rapidly increasing pace. They’ve never had this before. This much time, this much space, this much freedom. They’ve been so responsible since the first kiss Janet forgot what it felt like to take up space. But here, in this hotel room, she already feels her heart beating out her body’s desire. Tina moves to kiss her neck and collarbones, shifting her weight, and Janet feels her body crying out her desire, too. She moves her hands up Tina’s hips, tugging the woman’s dress zipper down.

Oh, she thinks, when Tina leans up and slips her dress sleeves off, guiding it down to pool around her waist, Oh!

“What?” Tina asks, and Janet shuts her gaping mouth. Tina’s not even close to naked and the woman is already the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

“Uh, um, nice bra?” she tries, digging her fingers into the smooth muscles of Tina’s back – I’m going to memorize these muscles.

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered.” Tina’s kissing her again and her heart slams against her rips at Tina’s hands on her chest.

At some point, Janet manages to fully undress Tina, kissing down her body, hungry and desperate, stuttering that she’s never done something like this before. At those words, Tina flips her, pins her down against the mattress, wicked grin on her face. “I’ll show you what I like,” the woman purrs, but she barely hears the words because Tina’s nipples are right there and Tina’s hips are rocking against hers and she does the first thing she can think of, which is kiss and suck the skin in front of her. Tina sighs, a lovely sound, and presses her back down with a, “You first, tiger,” using her nickname. 

Victor has been the only one to see her naked for the past 5 years. He looks at her like any other guy she’s had sex with does – hungry. Selfishly. Tina’s hands are pulling her clothes off, tossing them haphazardly into the dark. For a moment, they pause; Janet’s chest heaves as she scoots back a little, out from under her lover and back against the pillows, watching Tina with hooded eyes. Tina pushes her black hair away from her face, eyes catching the light from outside, humming some primal approval in the back of her throat. It makes Janet blush even more, if that’s possible.

There’s selfish hunger in those brown eyes sweeping over her body, but then they lock with her own, wider than Janet’s ever seen, as if she’s one of the natural wonders of the world, and Tina is allowed to marvel. “You’re so beautiful,” Tina whispers, surging up to kiss her again, and she turns to putty in those hands, kissing back with all her might.

Somewhere between Tina’s tongue doing things no one’s ever done and hearing her own name whimpered like she’s a god, Janet thinks, ‘This is what it’s supposed to feel like, isn’t it? Love?’ Part of her loves Victor – she wouldn’t have married him if she didn’t – but this part, this part that loves Tina is so different… It fits in her ribs, ties itself around her spine, rests its head on the especially squishy part of her heart that makes her swoon every time Tina kisses her neck. Which is happening a lot tonight, between whispered words and wandering hands; Tina kisses rough and messy and she knows a turtleneck is in her future, but she doesn’t care because this is how it’s supposed to feel. 

“Hey,” Tina whispers in her ear, “I hate to ask…”

“Do you want me to make you cum again?” she laughs, looking down at the woman grinning up from between her thighs.

“Would you hate that?” Janet shakes her head, sits up, pushes Tina onto her back.

“No. I’d love that.” 

(Janet Stein has done a lot of things in her 25 years of life. Tonight, she has done something so beautiful it’s hard for her to breathe – not just because of where her nose is – and she has to take a moment to inhale. Tina’s fingers run through her blonde locks softly, not moving her, but a quiet suggestion to, well, get back to it. She does, happily, and Tina groans softly, thighs tightening by her ears. Janet Stein is good at a lot of things, too. Apparently sex with Tina Minoru is one of them.)

Chapter Text

Tina Minoru, now 29, glances across the table at her daughter. Amy Minoru is sitting cross legged, glaring down at her breakfast like she's plotting the first tantrum of the day. Tina huffs a tired breath, bangs her head down on the wood, ignores the giggle at the expense of her pain, closes her eyes.

Blue eyes flash behind her eyelids, so dark and stormy they spun her freewheeling through the ocean that was supposed to ground her in the insanity. A door, deep mahogany and majestic, opening to reveal hollow cheeks and nothing else. No open expanse she usually read like a well worn map.

Tina's eyes snap open. She hasn't slept well in three years, too afraid of the memories projected on the insides of her eyelids. The little pink stick sitting at the bottom of her trash can reminds her that she won't sleep well for another 10 years. Maybe ever again. Even when both her children are grown, she'll never outgrow the nagging anxiety that has settled in her lungs.

Even when her children are grown, there will always be danger and the spot next to her in bed will always be filled with the wrong person.

Robert Minoru finds her like this an hour later, unmoved, staring down at the floor. He shakes her shoulder gently, strokes a soft hand through her hair in a way that reminds her of someone else - so much so that she leans into the touch and lifts her head, hoping beyond hope that when her gaze reaches the room she'll find the one she's been searching for.

"Honey, are you alright?" he whispers, eyebrows drawn. Even Amy's face is puckered with worry as she pushes her now empty plate forward, lips purple with berries. (Tina is oddly touched by her daughter's gesture, ignores the worry that she's turned her daughter's life into a performance for her already, so young.) He sucks in a breath when Tina's eyes find his. "Is it morning sickness?" He crouches down, takes her hands and rests his chin on her knees, not unlike the night that conceived Amy. Her stomach churns as if that is the reason. "Tina?"

Her mouth opens, but no words come out. So instead, she stands, pulls her hands back. "Tina..."

She ignores him, pausing only to press a kiss to the top of Amy's bedraggled head. Then she's out the back door and running barefoot through the garden, to the very edge of the lawn, tucks herself between the giant hedges keeping everyone out and her trapped.

("I'm sorry!" Tina whispered over three years ago, because the first thing Janet said when she opened the door was, 'Victor's home.' "I don't know how it happened," she pleaded, "I didn't want this. At least- at least not with him." Janet said nothing, eyes downcast to her still taunt abdomen, the first child of PRIDE, announced at the previous night's meeting. "Janet," she crooned, reaching for fistfuls of the scientist's dress, "Janet, say something." But there was nothing to say. Because what more proof did they need that their relationship came second than a baby? Tina pulled the scientist in, reaching for the lips she called home. Janet leaned away, gaze finally finding hers again. "Victor's home," the scientist insisted, and shut the door in her face, hands suddenly cold for the first time since she touched hers for the first time a year ago.)

Vomits onto the dirt.

Janet Stein watches the bubbles of her seltzer fizz and pop. Yesterday, at the biweekly PRIDE meeting, Robert Minoru had announced with all smiles that they were expecting their second child. Neither of them said anything, even though Janet had spent the whole night trying to catch those big brown eyes.

She hadn't been able to face them the last time she looked into them, wide and panicked and roaming. The chasm had opened up three years ago and she hadn't looked back since. Not until last night, only to find nothing except the jawline she used to press kisses to in the bathroom, underneath the covers, in sparsely populated states.

Janet's hand drifts to her lower stomach. Three months along, more or less. Enough to start to show, too terrified to say anything despite the other women of PRIDE thinking about or pregnant with children of their own. Her fingers slip sideways to her hip bones, presses the new bruise. They'd stopped, more or less, until last night. She can't blame the Terrible Victor Stein though, not this time. Unmoored for three years, nearly ship wrecked, he didn't want her to stay adrift as their duo prepared to become a trio. She really should pay better attention to everything now.

She closes her eyes tight, tight, tight, when the back door opens. Victor doesn't say anything. Just squeezes her shoulder as he passes through, runs a finger up the back of her neck, then is gone deeper into their maze of a house - not a home, never a home, not without her in her bed. The touch is a ghost of another, secret, exchanged in passing through their friends' various McMansions, enough to remind her that it was real, a year of longing and dalliance.

Her entire life is about to change at 30, and she's hit with the overwhelming need to know how she did it. Started a family. Walked away. Left her behind. Wonders how she sleeps at night. Wonders if the tech genius misses being together even a fraction of the way she does.

(Janet closed the door over three years ago and sagged against it, wondered if Tina was doing the same on the other side. Of course their affair came after their marriages, she knew that, even if she hated it. She just... never expected Tina to get pregnant. Tina had been vocal to her in her anxiety around pregnancy, even moreso having a child with Robert, and since they couldn't procreate together, she'd seemed set on no children. Victor sidled into the foyer a few minutes later, snapping his cuff links shut. "We're going to be late," he said, face unchanging as she lifted hers to meet his. When he opened the door, the Minoru's car was gone.)

Her stomach heaves when she hears the lab elevator door close, salt pricks her eyes, and she dives for the sink. Washes the vomit down the drain.

Chapter Text

Tina Minoru is busy tuning Stacey Yorkes and Leslie Dean out. She swirls her three fingers of whiskey around in her cup, watches a five year old Amy Minoru dutifully leading her 19 and 22 month old charges, Nico Minoru and Karolina Dean, across the Stein's grand backyard. 21 month old Alex Wilder and Gertrude Yorkes are shoving each other over some trivial toddler argument. Alice Hernandez watches the fight with puckered brows, hand over her late third trimester stomach.

Down the way is the rose covered garden Tina used to sneak off to, where her scientist used to wait with eyes matching the bright blue summer skies. It's been 5 years since she last tasted Janet's tongue between her teeth, and not a single day has passed where she doesn't miss the way Janet held her as they danced around that first PRIDE gala or looked at her across any room.

Janet isn't looking at her now, full sunbeam smile focused on the birthday boy, 24 month old Chase Stein, studiously building a Lego set aged for 5 years old. The sun is hitting her hair in the way that gives her an almost alien shimmer, and her fingers twitch, longing to be threaded in it. Chase is a beautiful boy, with no hint of Victor Stein's malice and all of Janet's good features. She hasn't seen a single bruise since he was born. There's a flash of panic when she realizes Janet may not trust her enough anymore to let them slip.

She drowns the thought in her drink, deep gulping swallows, gasping for air when she  surfaces, glass empty. Leslie raises an eyebrow at her but she just smiles a slurred smile and says, "Excuse me." She leaves the party outside as she pushes passed the balloons and banners into the Stein house.

She navigates on autopilot, passes the drink station laid out on the kitchen island, into the study where the better liquor is. The three shots worth of alcohol hits her full force as she crosses the threshold. Every room in this house and her own has been soiled by their ghosts. She drops to her knees by the locked liquor cabinet, spins in the code. There's a half full bottle of Macallan scotch and her eyes blur with tears.

(Five and a half years ago, Janet opened her purse, "Look what I found," and pulled the bottle out with a smirk. In her hands is a beautiful bottle of 12 year old scotch. She passed it to Tina, who thumbed the seal tenderly before breaking it open. Her scientist gave her the smile that melts her brain as she brought the bottle stem to her lips, drinking it in. Whispered, "I love you." Tina choked on the swallow of liquor, looked at the woman watching her with assured eyes. Tina had never been so sure of anything. Except for this. So when Janet leaned in and kissed her, licking the scotch dribbles from her chin and lips, she whispered back, "I love you, too.")

Janet Stein kisses Chase Stein on the top of his head when he looks up at her with shining eyes, presenting his Lego creation. He's the best parts of his father, but she hopes Victor Stein can see the parts of her in there, too. There's a giggle further down the yard and she glances up to see Nico and Amy Minoru enjoying one of the many popsicles she bought for the party. There's so much good in them, so much of their mom she wonders if they'll ever realize. Even Robert Minoru is there, and she can't begrudge his traits. He is a great dad.

Speaking of the Wizard Co-CEO, he's engaged in a conversation with her own husband, as if she wasn't so in love with his wife it made her whole body ache. Robert glances over at her with a polite smile, but Victor eyes her with a steely flint  and she barely manages her smile back. She tussles Chase's hair and sends him off towards the other kids. Then she grabs her glass of wine, remembering the way fingertips touched hers so many years ago. Suddenly the wine is not strong enough. She excuses herself to no one in particular and no one in particular acknowledges her as she steps into her house.

She pauses in the kitchen, looks through the bottles displayed for the party. Ignores her fridge where Tina pressed her up against the first time both of their husbands were out of town at same time. She's about to settle for a glass of Jack Daniels when her chest pulls her out of the kitchen and further into the house. From the corner of her eye, she sees the study liquor cabinet is open as she wanders.

This is how she finds Tina in the study: back towards her, leaning against Victor's desk, drinking from the bottle of scotch they shared the first time they said they loved each other. Janet watches the tech genius' hunched shoulders.

(Five years or so ago, Janet caught Tina hunched over the toilet in the Wilde's bathroom. She froze in the doorway, surprised at Tina's lapse in not closing the door, before the woman looked up at her, mouth open and unspeaking. She wanted to say something, anything, everything, but the look in Tina's eyes, frenzied and desperate, kept her own jaw shut against the four words that jam against her teeth. She wasn't the one who was ending them. But standing there, looking down at the woman she still loved so, so, so much, she wanted to be the one to restart them. Then Tina's stomach heaved, turned her head again towards the bowl, and Janet backed away, shutting the door between them with a gentle 'click'.)

Janet can imagine the curve of her tongue working, wants so badly to trace the column of Tina's throat with her nose again. She stands there as Tina puts the bottle down, presses a hand to her face and lets out a low series of sobs, unaware of the vouyerism happening. She clears her throat. Watches Tina whip around, clearly drunk, clearly crying, eyes locking on hers.

"Tina," she starts, voice low and full of her unspoken wistfulness and her vision blurs, to get to say the name she worships with such tenderness again. The woman's mouth twitches, a single petal reaching for the sun. She wants to kiss her, right here, right now, with their husbands and children and friends in the yard. She shouldn't want to, not anymore, shouldn't need to, more than water, food, breathing.

And then Tina's closing the chasm between them and Janet's arms wrap around the shorter woman's waist. Fingers thread into her hair, scratch at her scalp, pull her in. Lips meet and Tina lets out a puff of held breath over her tongue and Janet's home .

"Tina..." she whispers again when they come up for air, reverent, and feels her own tears cut down her cheeks, "I'm sorry."

" No ," Tina husks, " I'm sorry, Janet. I'm so, so sorry." And then her lover kisses her again, again, again. And again and again and again.

(It won't be the only time they ever talk about their time apart, but the conversation starts now, in their early thirties, in the study while Chase Stein's second birthday party is happening outside. When they emerge, the atmosphere has shifted. Everyone can feel it, even their children who are too young to know anything. Tina doesn't care. Neither does Janet. Chase blows out the candles and Janet makes a wish right along with him - Tina glances over the table at her and smiles that smile that makes Janet's brain melt - and knows it's already come true.)

Chapter Text

Tina Minoru and Janet Stein get 10 years of their version of normalcy. 10 years of lying and deceit, of covering PRIDE's tracks. 10 years of lying and deceit, of covering their affair's tracks. 10 years of tenderness and stolen moments. 10 years of growing roots so deep, tangled together, all the parts their families and friends can't see.

(Maybe that's why they don't get uprooted a second time, when the worst thing imaginable happens.)

Chapter Text

Tina Minoru falls in on herself when her eldest daughter dies. Janet Stein doesn't push the way her husband does. Knows what it's like to have a child come from your body, comprehends the never ending, bone crushing anxiety you wake up with everyday - before something goes horribly horribly horribly wrong. Janet was already her lifeline in the years since they reunited, so she clings harder in the aftermath. She knows Nico resents her for it, but she's terrible at being vulnerable, terrible at grief. She passes Nico's room at night, hearing the guttural sobs that she herself bottles up for hotel rooms, long drives, playing hooky on work days. She does the same thing every time: presses her forehead and palm to the closed door, closes her tear-pricked eyes. On the night she almost opens the door, she hears Robert's voice soothing their child. She freezes there, hand on the knob, so lost in her own inadequacy as a mother she can hardly breathe.

Then she gets in her car and meets Janet far out in the California desert. Sobs into all the scientist's tenderness she doesn't deserve - because they both know PRIDE is the reason Amy is dead.

As two years pass and Chase turns 15 and then 16, Janet Stein still can't comprehend what PRIDE has become. The loss of Alice and Gene Hernandez, leaving their daughter, Molly, orphaned and living with the Yorkes. The child sacrifice that began to slowly crop up after 10 years. And then the heart shattering loss of Amy Minoru.

Tina Minoru is quiet in the passenger seat, twisting the fabric of her dress into knots. They're on their way to parent-teacher night, and she can still see the gaunt sadness in those deep brown eyes. "Tina," she whispers softly, reaching across the center console. The woman's shoulders relax slightly as their fingers lace together. "I've got you. Always." It's not the first parent-teacher night without Amy, but she can see it hurts just as bad. 

"I love you," Tina murmurs, pressing lips to her knuckles, making Janet's heart hammer against her ribs as she repeats the promise back. They're silent until she pulls up in front of the school. They are separated only for the duration of getting out of the car. Janet passed her keys to the valet and then Tina is standing so close to her that their shoulders brush as they walk onto the campus. When they reach the throng of other parents, Janet feels Tina straighten up, watches her eyes harden and face rearrange itself, the picture of a Wizard CEO. She hates seeing Tina lock everything away, especially from Nico, but she doesn't push. She's spent so many nights way out of town holding the woman as she crumbled in her arms. So many nights way out of town pinning the woman down when she begged for a distraction.

Later, in a lull between teachers, Janet's phone buzzes in her purse. Victor glances at her with a barely there scowl. She doesn't look at him or the phone as she excuses herself from the conversation she's been sidelined in.

Tina's wiping off her lipstick in the mirror of the teacher's lounge bathroom, waiting for the knock that comes after the 'five mins x' she texted Janet. Just a precautionary measure, since her lipstick stains look so pretty on her scientist's skin. Janet lets herself into the tight space, slides the lock shut behind her.

She softens as Janet brushes her fingers against the inside of her wrist. They had not had time earlier; Janet had picked her up from work and drove them straight over. She had spent the entire drive trying not to cry, only for her insides to ignite when Janet told her she loved her, too, and kissed her knuckles back.

"I just needed a moment alone with you," she simpers as Janet's fingers wander further up her arm, clenching at the base of her neck.

"We were alone in the car just an hour ago," Janet reminds her, leaning down as she reaches upwards. She brushes her nose against the column of the woman's neck, trails her tongue up the jawline she's memorized over so many years.

"You know that's not what I meant." She nips at Janet's earlobe, walking them backwards until the woman is pressed against the wall. Her left hand braces them, her right is under Janet's blue dress, hitching it up in time with their own breaths. Janet's lips touch her forehead, tilt down until she can husk in her ear,

"Then show me."

Tina finds the scientist wet and ready. She buries her grief and love up to the hilt of her fingers; disappears into this stolen moment, this echo of a time so long ago.

Maybe they should've been more careful when they walked out of the teacher's lounge 10 minutes later.

(Maybe they hadn't ever been careful enough to begin with.)

Chapter Text

Tina Minoru knows she's not a good person. At the bottom of the list comes her involvement with PRIDE, next her unyielding facade against her daughter (the willingness to push Nico, drive her faster and further than she ever did Amy, make her better, make her stronger, make her unbreakable as fists and weapons connect to muscle and bone). At the very top of the list comes her affair with the woman next to her in bed. Maybe two decades of lying about the most intimate parts of herself has hardened her to the world around her. Maybe losing her eldest daughter solidified the change. Either way, she has no desire to give this up.

Robert Minoru is kind, smart, has even made her laugh in their long and long faded marriage. He has given her her children, helped fulfill a duty to their parents and grandparents. Helped her create the luxury she always thought she needed.

Janet Stein though? Janet Stein is good all the way to her core, so brilliant it makes Tina's head ache, an amazing mother. Every time they spill into a room alone together, the scientist catches the cascade that Tina holds back against the rest of the world. Janet Stein is the luxury she needed all along. In turn, Tina gave her a gun.

("It's happening again," Janet had whispered to her, arms hugging her waist. Tina remembered the first time they met, remembered the bruises the Terrible Victor Stein has given her over the years. On more than one occasion has she had to clench her knuckles white to avoid ripping him to pieces with her bare hands, no Staff needed. They stopped, for a little while - Tina knows because lays Janet bare underneath her any moment they get, licks at the purple until her lipstick stains the scientist's flesh instead. The mental toll, the dismissive carelessness he used on his wife and son stuck around, and for that, Tina just holds her in the dark.)

The bruises have started again.

So last night, Tina watched Janet roll a joint with the lithe fingers that touch her holy. They smoked it out the penthouse window, watching each other with sad eyes, saying nothing and everything. Tina took one last drag, then grabbed a fistful of her scientist's shirt. She kissed her, blowing the smoke between their lips. Janet inhaled deep, kissed her back, looked at her through hooded lids. Then Tina beckoned her to the bed, reached into her purse, and placed a gun in Janet's hand, felt the hum of adrenaline sing between them. "For protection," she told her.

They fucked hard and dirty, with the metal sitting on the hotel nightstand, high on marijuana and the fantasy of freedom.

(Life will be different when the gun actually goes off, but Tina will never regret keeping Janet safe.)

Now Tina looks over at her lover, laid bare and asleep under the covers, trails a shaking fingertip through a stray tendril of blonde hair. No, she's not a good person. But neither is Victor Stein. And she is the one Janet has chosen.

Janet Stein flushes pink at the text message on her phone from Tina, knocks tentatively on her son's half open door. He meets her gaze in the mirror and she smiles at him. There's a million things that she's bad at, but loving her son is not one of them. His eyes are wary but he nods her in, hands fiddling with his tie. "Why are you smiling?" he asks, nodding at the phone in her hand. She sets it face down on his dresser.

"Let me help you," she changes the subject, fixing his tie with practiced ease, having tied Victor's nearly every morning of their long, horrifying marriage. "There. You look so handsome, honey."

"Thanks, mom," he whispers softly. She rests her palms against his shoulders, puts her forehead against his chest, knows that so much has gone wrong since Amy Minoru died, hopes beyond hope that Chase will make it out of this rebellious streak alive, that having the Terrible Victor Stein hasn't destroyed him forever. That one day he may look passed everything she's ever lied about. He hugs her back. Then Victor Stein clears his throat in the doorway and mother and son flinch. She thinks about the revolver hidden in her glove compartment for the past four weeks. Wonders if tonight will be the night she brings it inside.

"I'm leaving in two minutes," her husband announces. She tries not to squirm as his gaze appraises her. "You're wearing that tonight?"

"I am," she confirms, because she feels so beautiful when Tina sees her in this color. Victor doesn't say anything else, but his face says it all. She hates that it still hurts, but loves that the sting doesn't cut as deep. Chase frowns at her when his father walks away, footsteps echoing.

"You look beautiful, mom," he tells her and she pats his face. "Don't listen to him. Dad shouldn't be so mean."

"He's not being mean, sweetie," she lies, because lying about her husband is almost as easy as lying about her tech genius. Chase, having grown up with the Terrible Victor Stein as his father, clearly doesn't buy it. She changes the subject again. "Are you still going with your friends?"

"Karolina will be here soon."

"Oh? Just the two of you?"

"Um. I asked her but... I don't know. It's kind of a date, but Nico suggested we all take the same limo and Gert agreed."

Janet smiles despite herself. That's a situation she understands more than her son could ever know.

"Well. Please make sure everyone drives safely. We'll see you there." She kisses his cheek, makes sure to take her phone. When she walks out the front door, Victor's car is gone. She checks the time and sighs. Then gets in her car, and drives towards the gala - Tina, really - alone.

Tina hears the music shift to something slow and melancholy and naturally searches out her PRIDE gala slow dance partner, the highlight of these boring things (yet she always volunteers to run it, for ensuring this very moment). The entrance Janet made had her mouth watering picturing the dress bunched around her waist. Her scientist had caught her eye and winked. She didn't notice Victor's reaction. But now, across the room, she can see the Steins in the corner. Can see Janet flinch back like she's been slapped, Victor's hands at his side.

"Speak of the devil!" Victor beams as she stalks forward, autopilot in her approach until she's standing in front of her lover and the husband. Janet's eyes are brimmed with worry when she looks at her, and she bites her fingernails into her palms. "Here to be my wife's knight in shining armor?"

"Victor!" Janet spits, straightening up to her full height. Tina loves her like that.

"What? Are you going to deny it?" His quiet anger is drawing attention, especially that of the other PRIDE adults. It's only because it's public that they start to convene on the trio. Tina's face is hot with venom and she wishes, not for the first time, that rage and grief weren't such a messy emotions. Because what if Victor keeps hurting Janet? What if Janet leaves her, too? Robert reaches them first, asks, "What's going on here?" with the wariness in his eyes he always gets when he's within arms reach of Victor. Her lover's husband claps Robert on the shoulder,

"Did you know my wife is having an affair." But it's not a question, it's a statement. The rest of their colleagues have reached them, suck in various amounts of shocked air. So focused on the monster in front of her, she misses that not everyone looks surprised.

" Victor! " Janet spits again, cheeks the same shade of pink as when Tina kisses vows against her core - no, not the time, Tina. Robert's eyebrows furrow, glancing at her like he can't quite understand why this is relevant to him yet. "This is none of their business," her scientist continues, pleading.

"Ah, but I think it is. Don't you want to know who her affair partner is, Robert?" This is a question, delivered with a Cheshire Cat grin. Tina can see the gears spin in her husband's head. Robert's eyes shift to Victor, then to Janet, then finally to her.

He looks at her like he's seeing her for the first time, like she isn't the same woman who has stood in front of him for over 20 years. But she is; he just never knew her as well as he thought.

Janet is standing there, almost wishing the Terrible Victor Stein would finally kill her. Not because she's ashamed of Tina, never that, but because she's so sick and tired of being at the target of humiliation in front of their colleges, friends- accomplices .

"Oh, shit," Geoffrey Wilder whistles low behind them.

"'Oh shit' is right, Geoffrey, my man, I know the press is going to just love this." Victor agrees, head cocked in the direction of a trip of terribly overt journalists a couple of yards away that scatter when acknowledged. "What I haven't figured out quite yet is how long these two infidels have been seeing each other."

"Please," Tina huffs, and Janet watches her tech genius roll her eyes so hard she wonders if they'll get stuck there, "Get over yourself, Stein."

"That's not a denial, Mrs. Minoru ."

Tina bares her teeth, leans in with whispered poison. The other members of PRIDE lean in, too, to hear her say, "You're an abusive sack of shit who deserves the receiving end of a bullet-"

" Tina ," Janet whispers, reaching out to touch her clenched fist. She loves her for it, loves the way the woman would charge into battle for her, loves her even for the revolver in her glove compartment. Loves the fierce way Tina loves her. "Tina, it's okay."

The woman rocks back on her heels, mouth open to say more but she just shakes her head slowly. Because she doesn't want to be dead. She just wants to be with her . "Yes, I am in love with Tina," she tells the group, feeling all the tenderness she feels when she speaks her name, "I have been for a very long time." Her eyes shift to her husband, feels nothing but cold hate. "And she's right. I won't speak for her, but now that it's out in the open, I'm done." As she says it, she wonders why she didn't say it sooner. A household on eggshells is a terrible place to raise a child. "I'm done being your punching bag, Victor. I'm done being your wife."

Victor rolls his eyes, scoffs.

"Janet-" Tina starts, fingers still clenched like she still wants to hit Victor. She just smiles sadly at her. If Tina needs to leave now, if this is what ends them, it's okay. She'll be free, and she'll have experienced a love no one could be good enough to experience.

"If you'll excuse me," Janet cuts her off, meets everyone's gaze. "I just need a minute." She takes a step back, turns on her heels, heads for the door to get some air. Victor doesn't follow after her.

Tina starts after Janet, stops short when Robert's hand catches her.

"What?" she snaps, whirling around and taking in their audience of PRIDE members properly. Robert looks like he wishes the floor would swallow him whole, and maybe she wouldn't mind that so much right now. Victor is the face of his namesake, like he's just won some great prize despite losing the most precious treasure. Stacey Yorkes... Stacey Yorkes is wearing a shit eating grin.

"Did you all not know this was going on?" Stacey asks, to which her husband, Dale, gapes at her. "What? I called this twenty years ago, did I not?" Catherine Wilder nods like she remembers a conversation neither Tina nor Janet were present for.

"I thought you were joking!" Dale goes, while Robert lets out a wounded yelp, " Twenty years? How- and none of you- Tina?"

Tina doesn't know what to say, is so used to lying that she usually can't see through the tangled webs in front of her. So she just lifts a shoulder, shaking his hand off. Her eyes meet each of theirs with no shame. "You can all fuck off now. Show's over. Go raise more blood money, enjoy the hors d'oerves." Then she gets to Robert's and says, "I'm not doing this right now."

(When the time does come, there will be no screaming. Tina will simply take off her wedding ring and say, "It's time." And he won't fight back because he's realized his daughter deserves better than to live in a house with no sister and no love. Tina knows this, too. Knows Nico's resentment of her is a bone deep cut. Hopes one day she can see all the love she and Janet hold for each other, just as she sees all the love Nico holds for Karolina. Hopes one day Nico understands all the love the mother holds for the child.)

As she walks away, she has that passing thought again, the one where she so desperately wishes something would happen to that monster. There's a thud of a body hitting the floor behind her but she doesn't look back.

Tina finds Janet behind the building, cigarette between her fingers and head tipped back to search for all the stars you can't see in metropolitan California. She joins her silently, watches the rise and fall of her chest as she takes a drag. Janet holds it out to her. Tina hates cigarettes, but every once in a while, when the world is bigger than the two of them, Janet will slink off to the shadows and Tina will join her there, and share a single one.

"I haven't had a chance to show you how beautiful you are tonight," she says, holding back a cough as she passes it back.

"You told me you loved the dress when I walked in," Janet says, still looking up as she takes it back.

"Not the same thing."

Janet hums low in the back of her throat but doesn't look at her. She huffs a sigh and nudges their shoulders together. "It wasn't a surprise to everyone."

"What do you mean?"

"If you can believe it, Stacey fucking Yorkes of all people called it twenty years ago, when we first met it seems. Where she gets the smarts..."

"She's incredibly insightful... I wish you wouldn't talk about her like that." Janet finally looks down at her with a faraway look in her eyes. "Some people in PRIDE talk about me the same way."

Tina leans up, presses her forehead to Janet's jaw. "I'm sorry, you're right. I'll behave. She's very smart." With a smile she adds, "And I'll Staff of One anyone who ever speaks about you like that." Janet chuckles, sending rumbles through both of them, stubs out the cigarette butt. Tina settles back on her heels and looks up at the woman. "Did you really mean what you said in there? About leaving Victor?"

Her scientist nods once. "Yes. It's time. Chase is old enough to understand. Sometimes more than his own good."

She thinks this over, thinks about Amy who died knowing far more than she should. Thinks about Nico and the artful goth make up that covers up the teenager's sleepless eyes. Thinks about coming home every day to the wrong person, how exhausting it's been to lie with abandon about the one thing she's good at for so many years. Tina Minoru is not a good person, she knows that, but maybe she could start trying to be one here .

(She (and the rest of PRIDE) will physically fight with Nico and her friends on more than one occasion, yes, and maybe it will be for all the wrong reasons and only some of the right ones, but one day somewhere in the future, she will be able to look her daughter in the eye and say "I'm sorry," and Nico will finally, finally , believe her. It starts here, with Tina exposing her longest, most beloved secret.)

Janet watches Tina. Tina watches her. Then the tech genius nods once, slides her fingers against the fabric of Janet's dress, pulls her in so their hips touch and says, "Okay. Are you comfortable using the same divorce lawyer or should I call a different one?"

Janet will remember this moment for as long as she lives (which is a long time when your abusive ex husband dies and becomes an AI algorithm relegated to her lab basement), Tina's eyes serious and calculating as she tosses her head back and laughs so hard it hurts her bones. Because of course Tina is already thinking about divorce lawyers, and she wouldn't be surprised if the woman already knows which of her properties she's shipping their soon-to-be ex husbands off to in their wildest dreams. Because if Tina is thinking about divorce lawyers, it means she's choosing her (which Tina always will, always has, but it can be hard to believe that sometimes). She loves this woman so much her teeth ache.

"We can use the same one," Janet pants as she catches her breath, cupping the shorter woman's jaw in her hands. She'd like to kiss her, here, outside the annual PRIDE gala with all their friends inside, under the light polluted sky, for the first time and for the millionth time. "We have to tell the kids now."

"I know."

"It's going to be a huge shock to them."

"I know."

(It will but it won't. When Chase tells Nico their parents are having an affair, her eyebrows furrow in the same way Tina's does as she asks, "My mom and... your mom?" And when he confirms, something crucial clicks into place for her.)

"All of Brentwood is going to know."

To this, Tina's lips quirk up. " Good . You're mine."

Janet thinks she'd like to kiss her here and now. So she does. Then Tina tilts her lips up to her ear and whispers, "I love you," as she softens against her, melts into all their cracks and flaws. Janet knows that whatever Tina thinks about being a bad person doesn't matter. Tina contains something raw and pure and good .

And you know what? Janet thinks there may be more than a couple things she's good at, beyond being a good mother, beyond being good in bed. Besides gravitational science and advanced formulas and engineering. After all these years, twenty rollercoaster years of exploration, separation, parenthood, mourning; she's really, really, really good at loving Tina.

So she vows, swears, worships, "I love you, too," with all the tenderness she feels for this, for their roots so deep and tangled like their limbs in sheets of stolen beds, like their nervous systems and fingers. And then she kisses Tina again. Because she can. No more hiding. Tina whispers about how beautiful her eyes are, how beautiful she looks in her dress, kisses her again, again, again. And again and again and again.

An echo of their first moments in time so many years ago.

(In the years that follow, in which they lose their children, fight their children, make amends with their children. In the years that follow in which PRIDE turns inward on itself, loses battles, wins them. In the years that follow all that they were, all that they are, all that they become, they stand shoulder to shoulder. They bicker and argue. They make up. They make love. They make incredible leaps and bounds in STEM. When the true story of Amy's death is revealed, they mourn together again. They move in together. They merge their strained families. They get married, attend graduations, weddings, funerals. Welcome grandchildren (and one great grandchild). When the inevitable comes and one dies before the other, her child holds her over a headstone. When the other goes, she is buried beside her lover, underneath a tree so old you couldn't separate its roots if you magic'ed it.)