Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been a long, busy day at work, the sunshine streaming through the window as you worked beside Guy. You filled out orders all day and now you were thoroughly exhausted.

Now the light of the full moon was coming in through the window, the day was long past and it was time to clean up.

Truth be told, you were ready to go home. But the thought of going back home to that empty apartment made your head spin. Maybe you could find someone to go home with.

You turned your eyes towards Guy...maybe...

Talk to Guy.
That's kind of a mess right now.

Chapter Text

You sigh without thinking, and Guy looks over at you. His face immediately softens, and your heart fucking skips a beat like you're living in some romance movie.

It's pretty stupid, actually. You're acting like a schoolgirl, are you going to start doodling hearts in your recipe book next?

Still, he's walking over to you and you're grabbing him before you can stop yourself. You push at him until his back is against the freezer door with a thunk, your eyes searching his. He looks tired and you'd bet anything that you look exhausted as well.

He cups your face with one hand, the other one gripping at your waist, and you close the gap between the both of you because it feels right. It's a stupidly sweet kiss, and it leaves you wanting more.

But, when you try to deepen the kiss, he pushes you back gently with a sigh.

"Let's get out of here, go back to my place." You say, a bit of desperation seeping into your voice.

You want him. Maybe you've wanted him since the first time you had seen him, seeing him walk into that kitchen after Sinestro had gotten promoted. Guy was there for you after Sinestro had gotten fired for doing what he had done to you in the kitchen that day, something you don't like to think about of course.

Maybe it was always Guy. Maybe he was who you're meant to be with, and didn't that feel a bit crazy. You two bicker and fight like school kids, and, yet, you can't keep your hands off of each other.

Guy's voice breaks through your sappy thoughts.

"I...I can't, Hal. My parents are in town."

"Oh."
"Blow them off."

Chapter Text

You nod at that, plastering a smile on your face. He gives you a terse smile, kissing you one last time before stepping back and giving you a nod.

As he's about to leave the kitchen, he pauses, looking back over his shoulder.

"I'll take you up on that offer when they leave, okay?"
"Okay." You say.

You don't feel so certain about it, although you're not really sure why. You rub at your lips with your fingers, wishing that he would've been able to come over.

With nothing else to really do, no plans, you think about heading for a bar nearby. You're feeling pretty drained but you don't want the evening to go to waste.

Go Home.
Go Out.

Chapter Text

You're absolutely drained as you stagger to your car, getting in and driving home. Going out would just be a mistake, you'd have to worry about getting back home and hoping that John would be cool with you leaving your car overnight yet again.

While your home is lonely, at least there's no mistakes to be made other than watching some suspect porn and eating pizza that's pushing the term "left-over".

You wake up at three am on your couch, pants still around your ankles, and you drag yourself to bed, checking your phone and finding no notifications before passing back out.

Well, there's always tomorrow.

Chapter Text

He chuckles at that, kissing you one last time.

"I'd love to, Jordan, but I'm pretty sure they're standing outside waiting for me and I don't think we can sneak our fat asses through that window." Guy says, jerking his head towards the tiny window.

You laugh in return, resting your foreheads together. You loosen your grip on his shirt, but you don't let go.

"Have you tried?"
"I don't even think that window opens, Hal."

He gives you a terse smile, kissing you yet again. Because "one last time" wasn't anywhere near enough.

"I wish I could skip this, I really don't want to see them." He sighs, voice soft.

"Then skip it."
"I wish you could too."

Chapter Text

You let out a soft sigh, turning your head to look longingly at the window.

When did you start feeling this way about Guy? Sure, he pissed you off more often than not, but it was an annoyance that you practically craved. Maybe it was because you saw him more than anyone else, maybe it was because he was there for you during some of the worst moments of your life with absolutely no judgement.

He walked you to your car when you were sure that Sinestro was there, he answered the phone in case it was Sinestro calling. You're pretty sure that he's seen a look on your face that almost matches the one he has on his.

You've both been hurt before. And Guy's hurt just happens to be lurking outside of the kitchen. He's protected you before, and now it's your turn. You're just not sure how to do it, you could go out there and try to make a run for it.

And then you notice a small white latch at it and, holy shit, the window does open.

"Guy."
"Hm." He sighs into the side of your head, pressing a soft kiss to your jawline.
"That window opens."
"What?"

You grab his hand, dragging him to the small window. You flip open the latches and push open the window. It opens fully, letting the cool spring air into the kitchen. You're not really sure why you haven't noticed this before considering how much time you spend looking out the window, you've memorized the pattern of the bricks on the wall of the building opposite of the restaurant.

"You think we can fit through this?" Guy asks, disbelief saturating his tone.

"No, let's try anyway."
"No, let's go through the front."

Chapter Text

"...Alright, but you're going first, Jordan." He says, stepping back.

You snort at that, it's an unattractive sound that has Guy laughing, has him pulling you closer again and pressing another kiss to your mouth.

"Could always lube up with butter." You say to him, grinning.
"I would, but I already put it in the fridge."
"Oil?"
"You just want to lube me up, don't ya, Jordo?"

You huff out a laugh, crossing your arms and leering at him.

"I might."
"Get your ass out that window, Hal."

Without much else to say, you approach the window, hands on the frame. It's a little high up, but you can vault yourself through with no problem.

"You next." You say to him, offering your hand.

It takes him a bit more to get through the window, he's a hell of a lot bulkier than you are. He actually goes to the gym and it shows, your mouth watering at the sight of his muscles bulging as he pushes himself out through the window.

He grabs you the moment he's through, pressing you up against the bricks and tilting his head up to kiss you hard, hands skimming down your side to grab your hips.

"That might be one of the dumbest things I've ever done, Jordan." He laughs into your mouth and, shit, you might really like him.

It's crazy but the only thing you can think about is fucking him right here and now. In the alley, where you've been together multiple times, with his parents right there.

Do It.
Take Him Home.

Chapter Text

You can't help yourself. With a soft growl, you push him up against the wall and kiss him hard and fast. Guy grunts from the force of the kiss, pulling you in closer with a hand on the back of your neck.

"I want you." You say to him like it wasn't obvious from how hard you are against his leg.
"Right here?"

Instead of answering, you're sinking to your knees and pressing your nose up against his crotch. He's as hard as you are and you place some open mouthed kisses to the bulge there, rubbing your face against him.

"Christ, Jordan." He hisses, tangling his fingers into your hair.

He pulls you back to look at him, green eyes blown wide at the sight of you on your knees in that filthy alley. You need him, so much that you can't think about anything else. Guy's fumbling with his pants until he's finally out in the night air, huge and hard in his hand as he strokes himself.

You grab his hip with one of your hands, the other pushing his own hand away, stroking his cock and guiding it into your waiting mouth. You don't waste any time, tilting your head back and letting him slide deep into your throat.

"Fuck!" He gasps out, throwing a hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet.

You bob down, pushing him against the wall and controlling the pace. It feels good to have him like this, you're growing hard in your pants.

Still, you can't help but wonder if this was the right move. If he's going to see you the right way after this, more than just a hook-up, co-workers with benefits. The thought of it hurts, and your eyes slip shut before he can see it in your eyes.

You can't help but feel angry about it, a misguided sort of anger. It's not like you've ever been forward about your feelings, it's not like he's the one who started this. You feel stupid about the way you're hurting about this self-inflicted thing.

Your anger and stupidity makes you feel bold, and you're swallowing him down until he's cumming deep into your throat with a gasp.

"Christ, Jordan." He groans.
'Love me.' You want to say, the ridiculous thought coming to the front of your mind.
"I think I love you." You say instead before realizing that it's not any better.

And there it is. All in the open, in that dirty alley while his parents look for him. He's looking at you with wide eyes and you really wish there was an undo button for the things you say. You could take it back, write it off as something you've said in the moment...

But a part of you doesn't want to. The strength of your own feelings surprised you, sure, but it's true.

He's rubbing the back of his neck and you're very aware of the fact that you're still on your knees, his soft dick right in front of your mouth. It's so ridiculous that you almost start laughing.

"We haven't even gone on a date, Jordan. Um, Hal." He's saying and you're thinking that it's better than nothing, that at least he didn't push you and run away or, worse, punch you in the face.
"Yeah, I know. Stupid, right?" You say and you're starting to think about taking it back.
"No, it's not. I...fuck, I think I love you too?" He says, looking sheepish.

You think that you might've heard him wrong, but he's pulling you up and kissing you deeply, and maybe you're just stupidly lucky. Maybe you were some sort of super hero in a past life, maybe it got you some extra luck in this lifetime, because you're kissing him back. He's laughing into your mouth, pulling back.

"Maybe we should go out on a date before saying that again." You say, and he laughs again.
"Maybe we should." He says, and he's kissing you again.

Chapter Text

But you want to take him home too, he deserves that much. So you kiss him one last time and then you're sneaking out of the alley to where your car is parked. He's sliding into the passenger seat, eyes blown wide from the adrenaline and from the way you can't stop looking at him, you know that he's feeling it too.

You're driving off, peeling out of the parking lot in your shitty old car, and Guy is laughing and you are too, and neither of you are sure why but you can't stop. Guy's phone is blowing up from both his parents and from John and Kyle, wondering where he is. He shuts it off and tosses it into your backseat.

It doesn't take long for you to get home and you can't help but feel like you've gotten incredibly lucky and you're unlocking the door and stepping into your building. The moment you shut the door behind you, it's like a weight has been lifted off of Guy's shoulders. He pulls you into a tight hug, sighing into your neck.

"Thanks." He murmurs and you hum in response, holding him close.

You make it up to your apartment and he makes himself right at home on your couch as you mix up some drinks for the both of you. Guy gives you a grin when you hold up your glass, and he taps his against yours.

You drink together, decompressing from work together. You're happy like this, happy to just spend time with him, and it's as weird as it is great because you could just take this and be content. It's intimate and weird and perfect.

After awhile, you're standing up and looking at him.

"I'm going to take a shower." You say.
"Okay."
"Do you...want to join me?"

He's up before you even finish the sentence, hand hot on the small of your back as you guide him towards the bathroom. You turn the water on to spray warm and strip down as you wait, his greedy eyes on you.

You openly check him out when he starts to take his clothes off as well. He's well muscled, you're a little ashamed that you don't know if he goes to the gym or not, but he has to work out. He's got incredibly abs and pecs, and his arms are something that you've always noticed about him. He notices you staring and smirks at you, eyes flicking down to look at your obvious interest.

He doesn't have to ask if you like what you see, he knows that you do.

Guy crowds you into the shower, hands on your skin. The steam curls around you, and he pushes you into the slick tiles to kiss you. It's a rough, somewhat frantic kiss that has you moaning into his mouth.

God, you need him. You tell him so and he moans, biting his lip.

"Christ, Hal." He pants, and you're poking your head out of the shower to grab the lube you keep under the sink, pushing it into his hands.

You turn around, flushed chest pressed against the cool shower wall, and he wastes no time in stepping up behind you. He presses one slicked finger into you, quickly following it up with a second one. Guy's impatient but so are you, pressing back against his hand and moaning into the steamy air between you.

The slight burn of his fingers stretching you open just makes it feel even better, and you don't think you've ever needed anyone more than you need him. You tell him this and he curses, you can feel him pressing his erection up against your ass.

"C'mon." You gasp out, and he's pulling his fingers out and replacing them with the head of his cock sliding up against your hole.

You're not sure that he's used enough lube, but that doesn't matter, not from the way he leans in and moans into your ear as he pushes into you. He feels huge as he slides into you, both his cock and his entire body as he presses you up against the slick wall, fingers scrabbling against the tiles as you try to hold onto it.

"God, please." You moan and he's moaning into your ear as well, a ragged sound that has pleasure building in the pit of your stomach.

He starts up a rhythm that's just what you need, just on the line of too rough. You can feel every inch of him as he fucks you, shifting his hips until he's pressing up against that spot inside of you that has you gasping and groaning with each thrust.

Soon enough, you're growing more desperate, leaking pre-cum on the wall in front of you as you slide against it, he's pushing between you and the wall to grip you in his hand.

It can't last, not from how he's making you feel, not from how he's slamming into you and losing any sense of rhythm he once had. Guy pulls you back against him and nips sharply at your neck, pushing inside one last time and cumming deep inside of you. He strokes you once, twice, and then you're shooting off on the wall in front of you with a low moan.

"God." You pant, wincing when he pulls out of you.

You turn around and pull him in for a kiss, tilting your head down to meet his lips. You're both fighting to catch your breath, breathing in the same space as you pull back.

You finish your shower in relative silence after that, you don't need to talk. It's a skill that you've learned in the kitchen together, day after day, a comfortable silence. You feel happy, something you're not sure you've felt in a long time, leaning back against him and enjoying a few more moments under the hot spray.

You turn off the shower and dry off, handing him a towel and leading him towards the bed after you're both dry. When you're walking, his hand shifts down to grip your ass and you can feel a surge in interest, biting your bottom lip.

But not tonight. After all, you have all the time in the world with him now.

Chapter Text

"Yeah, fuck it, we can probably outrun my old man." He said, nervous as he looked towards the kitchen door.

And you've never seen Guy look nervous before. So you cup his face and rest your foreheads together, looking into his eyes. You don't know why you feel so connected to him, maybe it's because you've spent so much time with him, but he's nodding.

And then he's grabbing your hand, and you're running for the exit, and his dad is yelling over the roar in your ears, and you can't stop laughing. You look back and Kyle is grinning at you, putting himself between the door and Guy's dad as you just run together.

"Let's take my car."
"Let's keep running."

Chapter Text

You're grabbing for your keys and Guy is sliding into the passenger seat, and you're having daydreams of driving off into the night sky together. Just the two of you and you're not going to come back, just driving until you can't drive anymore.

You just underestimated how crazy Guy's dad was, as he runs right in front of your car. You slam on the breaks and you wonder if you just...shouldn't have stopped.

But you did and he looks pissed, and you're grabbing for the baseball bat you keep in your car before you can stop yourself. He's trying to wrench the door off of the passenger's side, and Guy is laughing and you're not really sure why.

He rolls down the window just an inch to catch what his dad is saying, and there's a stream of words that you don't like to hear, the words he's calling both you and Guy. Guy's grabbing for your hand and holding it up, gripping it tightly to the point where it actually hurts.

"That's right, pop. He's my boyfriend, what are you gonna do about it?"

Boyfriend? That's sudden, you wonder if he's playing up your relationship for his dad, but then he's turning to you with a small smile on his face.

"I mean, if he wants to be?"

You're nodding quickly, a smile breaking out over your face.

Until his dad slams his hand down and puts a dent in the hood of your car. You yelp before you can stop yourself and you're reaching for the bat again, because no one touches your baby and gets away with it. But Guy is twining your fingers together, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb, and you relax.

"Fine, go be a fuckin' fairy for all I care. Just don't call me when you decide to be straight again." He hisses with malice, and then he's getting out of the way, and you're driving out before anything else happens.

You don't drive home, it just doesn't feel right. Instead, you just keep driving.

"Where do you wanna go?" You finally ask him when you're sat at a red light.
"With you? Anywhere." He says, and you grin and punch the gas the moment the light hits green.

Chapter Text

Guy nods and you keep on running, it's better to not stop and just keep going on foot. You're still holding hands when you book it across the street and turn left, sprinting down the street together until your chest is starting to burn. But his hand in yours is everything you could want, so you keep going until he leaps over the side of the wall, and you're landing in the sand together.

He's wheezing from laughter and you're rolling on top of him, pinning him into the sand.

He's lit up in the sodium lights, sand covering his hair, eyes blown wide, and you think that he's fucking beautiful, and you're saying it before you can really think otherwise.

"'Beautiful', huh? Never gotten that one before, Jordan." He says, and you're leaning down and kissing him just to prove it.

You can't help but wonder, as his hands skim down your back, when you started to have feelings for Guy Gardner of all people. Brutish, angry, funny, handsome Guy Gardner. He's nothing like anyone you've ever dated before, but maybe that's why it works. Maybe you've been looking in the wrong direction.

"I like you." You say, like you're in Elementary school talking to Carol Ferris again.
"I think I could guess that, Hal." He murmurs and pulls you back down into another kiss.

You wonder if his dad gave up or if he's still looking, maybe Kyle sent him off in the opposite direction, maybe he doesn't care. But you want Guy more than you've ever wanted him before, and you can tell that he wants you too. From the look in his eyes and, well, from the way he's hard against your ass.

You can't do much on the beach, not unless you want sand in some difficult places, but you sink your hips down and grind against him until he gets the picture and starts to pump up against you. You moan into his mouth, and you set a rhythm together that has pleasure pooling in the pit of your stomach.

You're rutting together like teenagers on the beach and it's the only thing you think that you want to do for the rest of your life. His hands on your hips feel incredible, he pulls you in tighter and you know that it's not going to last.

And, yet, you know that this is just one time in the many times you're going to hold him like this, and that makes it even better. It only takes a few more moments for you to gasp into his mouth and make a mess in your jeans, only takes him one more second to do the exact same thing.

He's wincing and laughing, pulling you down to lay beside him on the sand as the cum in your jeans starts to cool. It's uncomfortable and, yet, you can't help but laugh with him.

"God." He pants, still laughing.
"God." You agree.

And then you're kissing again, content to lay there together no matter what.

Chapter Text

Guy lets out a soft sigh at that, head turning away from yours.

And then he's gently, yet quickly pushing you back, patting your shoulder in a way that's incredibly awkward, and you look over to see an older man peering in through the window.

"C'mon, Guy, we don't have all day." He barks out, and you don't miss the way that he flinches.
"I'm on my way!" Guy barks back, brows furrowing.

You've seen him angry before, but you've never seen him that angry. He's yelled at a knife, at a potato, and a piece of fried fish, at you, but never like that. It makes you flinch as well, and he's turning back to you, eyebrows knit with worry, voice softening.

"We'll...hang out. Later, alright?"
"Okay."

You watch him go and you wonder if you've made a huge mistake. If this was some sort of test that you've failed. Maybe you should've tried harder, but you're watching him leave and it makes you feel more alone than ever.

Running a hand through your hair, you finish cleaning up the kitchen alone and walking out after saying goodbye to everyone.

You could go home or you could go out, even though you're feeling exhausted and just drained. Guy's eyes are still burned into your mind, and you just want to forget all that complication for just a moment.

Go Home.
Go Out.

Chapter Text

You had hooked up with Guy a few times, and now it was starting to bring up feelings that you'd rather not think about. After all, you're absolutely not good with feelings, least of all your own.

Still, it might be a good idea to actually talk to him.

Do it.
Fuck that.

Chapter Text

There were other people there after all. It wasn't like Guy was your only option. Sparing him one last glance and giving him a nod, you leave the kitchen to find someone else who's a bit less confusing to spend your time with.

You ignore Guy's parents as you step past them. You had forgotten they were coming into town and that's just another mess you don't want to deal with.

Jessica and Simon sit together at one of the tables, folding napkins and seemingly engaged in some personal conversation. Whatever they're talking about, it seems personal and awkward. You could always slide in there to lighten the conversation, perhaps play wingman to them?

Near them, Kyle sweeps the floor, humming along to the radio as it plays a song you've never heard of. Kyle must've changed it from the station they usually have on to his phone, because it sounds like something that a hipster like him would like. You could always go and see what he's doing for the night, he might have a party that he'd definitely invite you to.

Finally, John stands in front of the register, counting up the money made for the day. His eyebrows are furrowed in concentration and you know that he's not going to be leaving any time soon. Still, he's invited you to dinner with his wife many times and you've never taken him up on it. Maybe you can finally cash in on that offer.

Talk to Simon and Jess.
Talk to Kyle.
Talk to John.

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You slide into a chair next to Simon, slinging your arm around his shoulder.

"Hey, what are you kids talking about? Snapchats and the 'gram?" You say, smirking at the way they both cringe.

You're well aware that you sound about eighty years old, it's something you take great pride in doing.

"Nothing!" Jess says, at the same time that Simon speaks.
"Talking about dinner plans."

You grin. Looks like someone finally asked someone out.

Leave them to it, you third wheel.
Insert yourself into their planmaking.

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"Well, I'll leave you kids to it." You say, patting Simon's shoulder and standing up.

There's something about those two that makes you root for them. You're not sure what it is, but you're happy for them.

Maybe tomorrow, you'll drag some details out of Simon.

Talk to Others.

Chapter Text

You're not going to invite yourself along on their date of course, but you can still butt in and bother them.

"Cool, where are you gonna go?"

Jess gives you a look that begs you to leave them to it. You ignore her, you want to make sure they're going someplace that doesn't suck.

"Dunno."
"Well, do you want a sit down place or do you want to do take out?" You ask, wiggling your eyebrows just to see Simon blush.
"Uhh...it's up to Jess, I guess."

In the end, you don't really help them. Instead, you stick around just long enough where Jessica ends up dragging Simon out of there by the hand. At least you got them to stop overthinking it.

Talk to Others.

Chapter Text

You approach Kyle, who's humming along to the song.

"This is an absolute banger." He says to you as you jump up to sit on the counter.

You have no clue what that means of course, but you nod along like you're in on it. He continues to sweep and you continue to watch him.

Kyle's into you, although you're not sure just how into you he is. But you've seen him look at you and you've looked at him as well. He's cute, a bit young, a bit too hip, but he's lean and he has a cute smile so none of that really matters.

You know you could get into some trouble with him.

"Got any plans for tonight?" He asks you, setting down the broom.

"Nah, unless you've got something."
"Maybe."

Chapter Text

He laughs at that, crossing his arms.

"I don't think my date for tonight would like that," He says, "although, she hasn't seen you, so I could ask if she's down."

While the thought of a threesome with Kyle is interesting, you smile broadly at him.

"A date, huh?"
"Yeah, her name's Alex. A friend of ours set us up, guess we have a lot in common. Should be a good time."

"Well, tell me all about it, okay? Every detail." You smirk at him, nudging him just to see that cute blush on his face.

Still, as you watch him leave, you can't help but feel lonely. Maybe you could call someone you know?

You're at home, in the shower, before the idea strikes you again. There are a few people who are coming to mind, and all of them are exes.

Hey, you never said it was a good idea.

Call Ollie.
Call Carol.
Call Nobody.

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You had left so much unsaid with Ollie, the thought of him broke your heart a little.

He picks up on the first ring, the sound of his voice immediately making you remember the smell of pine trees and the nights spent together in a tent, and the mornings where you woke up to a cup of campfire coffee. That period where you road tripped with a man you fell in love with, where you first experienced the heartbreak of that man being in love with someone else.

Dinah's always been nice to you and you wonder if she knew. She had to know that you were in love with him, she's too smart to not know. You wonder if she's there, standing behind him in their kitchen.

"Ollie. Hi." You say, suddenly feeling stupid for even calling.
"Hal," He says, voice quiet, "did you know that I'm in Coast City? Is...Is that why you're calling?"

Honestly, if you had known that he was in town, you wouldn't have called. The distance between the two of you was the only reason you're comfortable with calling him in the first place. Without that distance, you don't trust yourself. You don't trust yourself around Ollie in the first place, he makes you do stupid things.

"Where are you staying?" You ask him before you can stop yourself, "We...We could hang out. Grab a beer or something."

He's sighing into the receiver.

"Or something," He echoes, and you know that he's deliberating on whether or not to tell you, "I'm staying at the Seaside Inn...room...room 210."

You tell him that you'll see him soon and you're in your car before you're really thinking about the implication of what you're going to do. Soon enough, you're standing in the lobby of the hotel, staring at the elevator.

Go To His Room.
You Can't.

Chapter Text

He told you what room he was staying in, he wants you to go up there. You sigh, stepping into the elevator and hitting the button for the second floor.

You're glad that you showered before coming over, running a hand through your half-wet hair and trying to get it to lay flat. The elevator moves slowly and it gives you time to feel regret.

What if he turns you down? What if Dinah is there and you have to face her, knowing that you planned to go over and sleep with her boyfriend? You know that this makes you a bad person, but you can't help it. You're not going home to that empty house, you're going to make this mistake one last time.

You're standing in front of his hotel room and you feel no fear as you knock on the door. You're doing this.

He looks just like you remember him, God, you missed him. You miss him even as he stands before you, leaning against the door frame and looking at you. Neither of you know what to say, so you say nothing. Instead, you step into the room and he shuts the door behind you.

Ollie's staring at you, naked emotions on his face. For a second, you think he might punch you, God knows that you've both punched each other so many times. Instead, he pushes you until your back hits the door, and he kisses you.

He kisses just like how you remember, hand cupping your jaw, lingering between frantic kisses. Your hands find his chest, pressing against it but not pushing back, fingers creeping up towards the back of his neck. It's familiar in a way that makes you feel a little sick, head spinning, and you already know that it's a mistake while you're still making it.

But, God, you don't care.

"Ollie." You pant into his mouth.
"What do you need, babe?"

The pet name falls out of his mouth like you had never left, and it makes you shiver in his arms.

"Everything."

The bed he pushes you on is a far cry away from the sleeping bag he used to fuck you on, plush around you as you sink into it. He's on top of you, straddling your waist, and you look up at him. You almost want to cry, it was a mistake coming here tonight and you know it.

"I was hoping you'd call me tonight." He says, voice quiet as he reaches for something on the bedside table.

It's a bottle of lube, he sets it down beside you and starts working on undressing you until you're naked under him.

"I missed you." You say, and he smiles at you.

It's that sad smile that you've seen on his face plenty of times. You know you're mirroring it as he leans down to kiss you and, in your mind, he tastes like campfire coffee and the cigarettes that he swears he doesn't smoke.

He undresses himself quickly and slides two fingers in at once, you're silent as you writhe under him. God, you need him, God, you wish you didn't. Ollie used to take hours to prep you, he always said that he wanted you to experience every pleasure he could give you.

It sounded a lot more romantic when he had said it all those years ago when you were dumb kids fucking in the woods.

You wonder if he's grown more impatient in the years since, but you both seem to know that you don't have all night anymore, as he slides his fingers out of you. He's moving, sliding to sit next to you and pulling you up, and you remember how much he used to like it when you rode him.

Is that his favorite way to fuck her too or is he trying to recapture what you had with him when you'd ride him in the cabin of the pick-up. You almost don't want to look at his face while you fuck him, but you need to for this last night you spend with him.

As you sink down onto his cock, you look at him and wonder what he's feeling. If he misses you in the same way that you miss him, or if it's entirely different in his mind. You never really broke up with him, Dinah came back into his life, you caught them kissing, and you hitch-hiked back to the city without telling either one of them.

Maybe there wasn't anything between you, maybe he just thought you were fucking around. But you're looking into his green eyes and you can't look away as you start to ride him, raising yourself up and sinking back down onto his cock.

It feels incredible, you moan out into the space between the two of you and dodge his attempts to kiss you again as you start up a rhythm that might be punishment for the both of you.

But maybe seeing him was punishment enough. So you slow your pace down, riding him with a slow grind of your hips.

Neither of you say anything as his hips push you down one last time and he cums inside of you with a short gasp of your name, more of a sound than anything. His hand circles around your cock stroking you once, twice, and then you're painting his stomach with your release.

You don't ask about Dinah because you don't want to know, but he seems to want to talk about her anyway.

"Dinah misses you too." He says and there might be something else behind those words, but you're off of him like he's burned you by those words alone.

He watches you get dressed but, before you can leave, he's up and pushing you gently against the door.

"Call me. Please, Hal, when you're ready to talk."
"I don't think I'll ever be ready."

He's kissing you one last time.

"I can wait."

And then you're leaving, getting in your car and slamming your head against the steering wheel. You reach for your phone, scrolling through your contacts until you get to his name.

You hover over the delete button for what feels like an eternity. And, with his cum still leaking out of you, you delete his number and let him fade into your past.

Chapter Text

You can't deal with this. You can't make this mistake, not again, because you think that it might just kill you to see his face again.

Instead, you get back into your car. With a sigh, you pull your phone out and delete his number.

Some stones are just better left unturned.

With nothing else to do, you leave the parking lot of the hotel. Hesitating, you turn and head for the beach instead of going home. You don't want to go back home alone, you don't want to go home at all.

Instead, you get out of your car and sit on the stairs of the boardwalk. The moon is almost full, beams of light bouncing off the smooth surface of the ocean.

You think about being a kid in that way that the ocean can only make you feel. You remember surfing with your dad and you remember nights camping on the beach with Ollie, sand and saltwater.

Maybe you need a change. Maybe you've been in this city for too long, holding onto it like it gives you some sense of identity. But everything that's hurt you has happened in Coast City, maybe you need to just get in your car and drive until you reach somewhere different.

Tomorrow, you'll call John and quit. You'll pack up your shit and call your landlord to tell him that you're moving out, and you'll get in your car and drive until you can't drive anymore.

You just can't stay here anymore. You'll leave Coast City and Guy and this entire mess in the rear-view mirror, and maybe you'll be able to find something that looks like happiness in another place.

Chapter Text

There's one mistake you seem to be content to make, and her name is Carol Ferris. Maybe it's because you miss the way it was once, all those years ago, maybe it's because you fucked it up the last time.

There's always going to be a part of you that wants to just buck up and propose like she wanted you to, but you know that isn't what you want. Isn't what she wants either, not with you.

For now, you don't even know why you're calling. She won't come over if you invite her, maybe she'll know what to say.

She picks up on the first ring and you let her voice warm up the line for a moment, that familiar sound and the smell of her hitting you like a jet plane.

"Hal?"
"Carol. Hi."
"How are you doing?" She asks you with such sincerity that you can't help but tell her everything.

Christ, you miss her. She laughs gently at your predicament and you can see her hiding her smile behind her hand.

"Hal, it's just one bad day. You just need to sit down and think about how you feel."
"And?"
"And then tell him."

Maybe it was permission that you were waiting for, but you sigh and nod even though she can't see you. Still, you can't help the words that leave your mouth.

"I miss you, Carol."
"No you don't." She says in that matter of fact way.

And maybe that's true as well. Maybe you miss the idea of her. Still, you can't help but laugh.

"Now, stop calling your exes and figure your shit out, Jordan."
"Okay."
"Call me any time though."
"Okay."

And then she's hanging up before you can fuck up more and tell her that you love her, that there's going to be a part of you that always loves her. You're not even sure if it's true anymore, you do love her, but not like that. Not anymore.

But it was what you needed. Now you just need to think about what you want to say and then just say it.

Chapter Text

You're right, it's a terrible idea. With a sigh, you set your phone down.

Calling an ex is never a good idea, especially when they're all out there, living their best Hal-free lives. As far as you know, Carol's seeing someone that you both might've known as kids, and Ollie's probably on-again with Dinah. You're just something in their past, a black mark on their dating record, and now they're happy.

Are you really going to ruin that? No.

Instead, you decide to throw in the towel on another wasted night. Hopefully, you can figure out something tomorrow while you pretend to be happy when Kyle tells you about his date and doesn't spare a salacious detail, while you pretend to be okay with the things left unsaid with Guy.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

Chapter Text

"Ah, cool." Kyle says, turning to finish his sweeping.
"What are you up to tonight?" You ask him.
"Oh, I actually have a date tonight."

Well, that's a surprise. And something you're definitely not going to be invited to.

"Cool." You say.

You don't know why you're hurt by this. Maybe it's some misplaced jealousy or maybe it's because you rely on Kyle to be about as fucked up as you are, and now he's going on a date. He even has that dumb smile that people have before a date they're excited about.

And then he's shrugging, putting the broom down.

"I could skip it if you wanted to do something. Dunno if I'm that into her anyway." He says and you can't make him skip his date.

Right?

"Go and have fun, kid."
"Yeah, let's do something."

Chapter Text

It would be incredibly selfish to have him skip his date to hang out with you.

"I'll figure out something else to do." You say, shrugging your shoulders and waving him off.

Instead of figuring it out though, you just head for home and elect to not make any more mistakes. You almost made a big one, playing with Kyle's feelings just because you're bored.

You sit on your couch and watch late night TV with a frozen pizza instead, and you hope that tomorrow is a little better.

Chapter Text

He smiles at that, grabbing his phone and texting quickly.

"Just blew her off, let's go have fun." Kyle says, and you know that he's way too excited about it.

You just don't care enough to feel guilty about it, maybe that says something terrible about you.

You walk out of the restaurant together, following him as he walks towards what you assume is a cool place to go. Following him into the trendy bar, it's clear that you're the youngest person in the place by at least five years, but it's also clear that Kyle doesn't seem to care.

He orders drinks for the both of you, some fancy cocktail that you'd never pick out yourself. It tastes mostly like gin, and Kyle babbles on about the floral taste of the drink like he's some alcohol critic or something like that.

But you can barely hear him over the shitty music that might be ironic, and he does look pretty cute. So you chug your drink and you know that you're in the mood to make a mistake, because you're grabbing his face and kissing him right then and there.

He responds to you with enthusiasm that might be a little sad, but you're not really in the mood to care about someone else's feelings today. His tongue tastes like the gin and you feel like a real asshole as you stand up and lead him towards the bathroom of the bar.

You push him into a stall, propping him against the wall as you kiss him again. You don't anything real while that seems to be all he wants, moaning into your mouth from just a kiss alone.

You don't want him to say anything, to confess some things that you don't want to hear, so you continue to kiss him as you a shove both of your pants down just enough to free your cocks and grip them together.

He's grinding against you, already fully hard and eager. You're half-soft, but the pleasure builds up and you're soon sliding against his pre-cum slicked shaft, grunting into his mouth.

Kyle tries to break the kiss to say something, so you push your other hand over his mouth to stop him and avoid the look of hurt in his eyes by closing your own and pretending like he's just some stranger's hard body under yours.

He cums hard, loud like he doesn't care who hears, and you follow him after a few more moments.

"I'm so glad I cancelled my date to be with you." He gasps out before you can stop him.
"Clean up." You tell him, wiping yourself down with toilet paper.

You're giving him one last pitying look before you're leaving him there in the bathroom.

God, you hate yourself.

Chapter Text

"Hey, John, what are you up to tonight?" You ask him.
"Pretty much this." He says, gesturing to the till.

Sure enough, it looks like he's got a lot of work to do. You'd offer to help but it's not really something that multiple people can do.

Well, that's not what you had in mind. You can try waiting around for him, or you can just go home.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."
"What about after?"

Chapter Text

"I'm going to be here for awhile, Hal. But, if you don't mind waiting, Katma's making dinner."

He sure does have a lot left to do, he's not even halfway through the drawer.

You're starting to get hungry, but maybe you can help him out? Or maybe you can just go home, take another rain check on the invite.

"Do you want some help with that?"
"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."

Chapter Text

He nods, sliding over and you step up to help him. You're not the best at math but, together, you divide the till and count it up together. It doesn't take too long with the two of you and, soon enough, you're sliding into your car and following him to his house.

You've met Katma a few times and she hadn't really made her interest in you a secret. She obviously knew that you had hooked up with John a few times and she definitely wanted in. She smiled at you when you walked into the door, grabbing you into a hug that lingered.

Katma kissed her husband, smile turning into a bit of a smirk as they seemed to talk without needing to speak. You wondered what that was like, to be that close to someone where you don't need to say anything, but you remember the way that you and Guy move around each other...

But that's a mess that you don't want to deal with. Not when Katma's setting down a full plate of food in front of you and a glass of wine, and your stomach growls loudly. She giggles at that, sitting down next to you. John sits down on the opposite side of you, your ankles all tangled together as the three of you eat quickly.

Katma talks about work and you can hardly pay attention to what she says because her foot is sliding up higher on your leg and her hand is making itself at home on your upper thigh, opposite of John's doing the exact same thing.

"I wasn't sure you were ever going to accept my invitation, Hal." She says and you like a woman who knows exactly what she wants because, the moment you turn to answer her, she's kissing you.

You've never kissed a woman in front of her husband, but John wraps a hand around your waist and starts to press open kisses to your neck.

You leave the plates on the table as the three of you make your way towards the bedroom, losing clothes on the way there. Katma pushes you down onto the bed and you know that there's not going to be any fucking around as she wraps a hand around your erection and bends forward with John right next to her.

You moan loudly at the sight of the two of them, Katma gets her mouth around the head of your cock while John's tongue slides up and down the shaft. It's intense and incredible and it makes your brain shut off for a good five seconds.

They don't do that for very long, from the smirk on Katma's face, it was pretty much just for show. Soon enough, they're pulling back and Katma is laying down. John guides you between her legs, pressing a condom into your hand and then guiding you into her.

You don't move as he steps behind you, sliding slick fingers into you while you try and think about things like garbage and dead things to try and make yourself last as he preps you.

Thankfully, you don't cum early as he slides into you, setting a slow, grinding pace as he seemingly uses you to fuck his wife. Katma moans under you, hands sliding up and down your body as she sits up to touch you.

It feels incredible, moving between the two of them, and you know that you're only human and you're not going to last that long. You wish you had some superhuman stamina, but you don't. Still, you manage to last while you get your thumb on her clit, you want to get her off first and her moans are growing in volume and pitch. She tightens around you, and that's it for you as you cum right after her. John pushes into you one last time, kissing your neck and muffling his moans as he fucks you through his orgasm.

You feel sweaty and satisfied as you barely manage to avoid crushing Katma, rolling off of her to lay next to her. It's a tight fit, but John lays down as well.

You don't know when you fall asleep but you wake up in their bed, John asking you how you take your coffee, and you think that you could make a habit out of this arrangement.

Chapter Text

"Okay, I'll see you then." He says, nodding at you.

You turn around and head for home, bummed out. This definitely wasn't how you wanted your evening to go, but...well, sometimes, you just can't control these things.

At least the shower is there for you. You stand under the hot spray, groaning at the feeling of the water on your back.

God, you're bored. Maybe...maybe you can call someone. There are a few people that come to mind.

Of course, they're all exes. You never said it was a good idea after all.

Call Ollie.
Call Carol.
Just Go to Bed.

Chapter Text

You're right, it's a terrible idea. With a sigh, you set your phone down.

Calling an ex is never a good idea, especially when they're all out there, living their best Hal-free lives. As far as you know, Carol's seeing someone that you both might've known as kids, and Ollie's probably on-again with Dinah. You're just something in their past, a black mark on their dating record, and now they're happy.

Are you really going to ruin that? No.

Instead, you decide to throw in the towel on another wasted night. Maybe you should've waited for John, but it's too late now. The only thing you can do is go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.

Chapter Text

You're in no mood to go home alone, plus the night is still young. There are plenty of beachside bars you can go to, get yourself a drink and maybe a hook-up. There are plenty of hot girls and guys who might like someone who's kinda greasy and might smell like fried food.

Well, maybe. Hopefully. Failing that, you can find someone less attractive to take you out behind the restaurant and rail you hard, or that'll let you fuck them after you both get pretty loaded.

It might not be the most morally upstanding outcome for your evening, but it's better than going home alone because you can't get anyone you know and actually like to go home with you, because you can't keep a boyfriend or girlfriend for more than a few months before they realize how much of a fuck-up you are, because you're terrified of commitment.

Why do you deserve to get Guy anyway? You'll just end up hurting him. The bar is clearly what you deserve. You deserve to get bent over a filthy bathroom sink, getting fucked hard enough that you forget the person's name, if you even remembered it in the first place.

You didn't realize that you were walking in the direction of the bar until you're already there, standing in the small line and presenting your ID to the bouncer.

They're playing music that you might've been familiar with if you were five years younger, something that might be a remix but you're not entirely sure. Everyone around you is pretty young, and you're not sure if it matters when it's that dark in there, but you find yourself wondering if you should scope the place out before ordering a drink.

Scope the Place.
Order a Drink.

Chapter Text

The bar can wait, there's no point in paying for a drink if there's no one interesting there. There are plenty of other places to drink in town, hell most are just a few blocks away from this one.

You do a short loop around, hands in your jacket pocket as you check people out. There are a few attractive people but you wonder if there's a hotter bar around. Maybe one with better music. Still, as you watch people writhe around and make conversation, you feel like you could stay here and you don't exactly feel like walking to another place.

If you leave, you'll likely just go home.

Stay and Get a Drink.
Go Home.

Chapter Text

You decide to stay because there's enough people around to make it interesting.

When you make it back to the bar, the bartender turns to you and pushes a drink in your direction. It's your drink, rum and coke with a wedge of lime, and you know it's good rum because the bartender uses a brand when he yells the drink name at you, gesturing towards a man that you know all too well.

Who else would know what you drink?

Sinestro raises his glass to you and you can see your hand shaking as you reach for it.

Take the Glass.
Fuck That.

Chapter Text

Are you really that desperate for company to shack back up with Sinestro?

You reach for the glass and take it in your hand, lifting it up in his direction and drinking it all in one go. You know he's watching you, watching your throat work around the rum and coke. It's good rum but you don't care, drinking all of it down.

It was a double, mostly rum, and you're already feeling it by the time you set the cup down on the bar. He's standing in front of you, hand snaking out and grabbing your waist.

You let him. You know what you've signed up for by accepting the drink. He's bought you for the evening, drawing you close as he orders you another one.

"A bit slower this time, Hal. We have all night." He says, voice a low purr in your ear.

You shiver, not reaching out as he puts the glass to your lip, tilting it up until your mouth is filling with the sweet burn of the drink.

God, you hate yourself.

Despite what he said about having all night, giving you the drink by hand seems to have started something in him. He's eying you, tilting the cup up further and further until you've swallowed all of it.

"Good." He hums, letting you lean against him as he pays for his tab.

And then he's dragging you out of the bar, and no one stops him even though you can feel yourself starting to panic because you're back on your bullshit and that bullshit wears a smirk that lets you know that he's won, and you hope you can forgive yourself in the morning but you know that you haven't forgiven yourself for the first thousand times.

This one is no different as he stuffs you into the front seat of his car, getting in and driving you to your place, and you almost laugh as you deliriously think that you're not going home alone at least.

You fumble with your keys and open the door, and God, you wish you weren't drunk so you could kick him out and lock the door behind you. Instead, he's stepping in after and locking you two in together, advancing on you until you're in the bedroom. He locks that door behind himself as well, and you're standing next to your bed, watching him.

When he starts to strip down, you do as well until you're naked in front of him. He's hard and huge between his legs, and you're not anywhere near hard, but he doesn't seem to care as he approaches you.

He kisses you and you hate the taste of his tongue in your mouth, like that over-priced wine he always insisted on drinking. God, you hate him so much that you let him push you back onto the bed, let him climb on top of you because, if there's anyone you hate more than him, it's yourself.

In another universe, you think that he might want to kill you. In this one, he spreads your legs and grabs the lube that he knows you keep in your bedside drawer. He slicks himself up and presses up against you, pushing in without care about how you feel. He's looking down at you, into your eyes, and you know that you can't look away. That he won't let you look away.

He doesn't care if you like it, he just wants to control you again. His hand strokes you in time with his too-rough thrusts, and you're crying out for it loud enough that your neighbors might complain, loud enough where they might call the cops and there's a part of you that wants them to do that because you're not sure where the pleasure ends and where the actual crying begins. Sinestro ignores the tears that trickle hot down your cheeks and onto the sheets that you're going to have to burn, soaking into the mattress that you're probably going to have to burn as well.

Maybe you'll burn it all, everything that he's ever touched.

And maybe that includes yourself.

The arousal that builds up at the thought surprises yourself, ripping a gasp from your lips as you paint your stomach. He smirks at that, stroking you through it as he continues to fuck you.

"So good for me, Jordan." He says, sweat dripping from his face as he slams into you hard enough that you know you'll be feeling it for a few days.

He's pumping into you once, twice, and then he's slamming in home and cumming deep inside of you. You wince at the feeling, biting your lip to stop yourself from sobbing.

Sinestro rolls off of you, pulling you in close and curling a possessive hand around your throat.

"See? We're meant to be together." He hums into your skin.

You're awake all night, until the sunlight starts to trickle in through the window, and you realize that you're trapped.

In more ways than one.

Chapter Text

You're out of the bar before he can run after you, pushing people aside and bolting down the street.

He can't catch you if you don't stop running, running until your chest hurts and you're in your car. Your throat is burning and you're gasping for breath and to try to calm your spinning head.

"Fuck!" You shout, slamming your hands on the steering wheel, resting your head against it.

You're careful not to hit the horn, you don't want him finding you if he's looking. Instead, you pull out, thankful that you bought a new car. He might not know what you drive, but he definitely knows where you live. Still, you can't drive forever and you could just ignore him if he tried to buzz and get in.

You're speeding a bit to make it home quickly, rushing in and throwing all the locks onto the door. Your heart is still racing when you go to sit on the couch, drawing your legs up and putting your head between them as you try and breathe.

Just as your breathing evens out, the buzzer goes off and you start to panic once again.

Ignore It and Go to Bed.
See Who It Is.

Chapter Text

Definitely not. You double check to make sure the door is still locked, and then you're moving into your bedroom and locking that door as well.

You don't strip down, instead you go under the covers fully clothed and ignore your cell phone when it rings, eventually falling into a fitful sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow is better.

Chapter Text

Well, there's no harm in answering the buzzer. Maybe you can give him a piece of your mind without worrying about him being right in front of you.

You've wanted to do that for so long that you're moving towards the buzzer, the 'fuck you' on your lips, ready for you to spit it out.

"Hal? It's...It's me. Lemme in?"

And that is definitely not Sinestro's voice. You press the button and wait until there's a knock on the door, unlocking it quickly and letting the source of the voice in after the first knock.

You pull Guy in quickly, shutting the door and locking it again. He watches as you latch up both the locks that came with the place and the locks that you've put in yourself, and he doesn't say anything because he knows that look in your eye.

When you finally look at him, it seems as if he's had a shitty evening as well. Neither of you say anything, he follows you into the kitchen as you pour drinks for the both of you. He accepts it eagerly, taking a deep drink and sighing.

"Bad day?" You ask, your voice still shaky.
"Bad day."
"Yeah, same here."

Neither of you ask about it, you're pretty sure he knows and you can guess what his entailed. He had only been to your place once, and, yet, he came right over. From the way he looked, you think that he might've come straight from dinner with his parents without having gone home to change, you hadn't seen him in anything that nice before. He's wearing slacks, something that would've made you laugh if it weren't a little sad.

You sit together in silence for a few moments, drinking and half-watching tv, before he turns to look at you like he knows exactly what happened to you. You're not sure if it's because you're an open book or if it's because he knows you that well.

"Where'd you see him?" He asks you, and you lay your head on his shoulder.
"That bar a few blocks from the Lantern. What happened at dinner?"
"They asked me about my ex-girlfriend and my dad called me a loser for letting her go. Said real men make it so their woman can't leave 'em."
"Gross."
"Yeah, he is."

He's pulling you in closer and you're turning your head, brushing your lips against his. It's not a kiss, not really, but it's what you both need. Eventually, you both head into the bedroom to go to bed, you pull him back against you.

"I'm glad you came over." You murmur into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

He hums once and then you can feel his breathing evening out right as you too fall asleep.

When he's still there the next morning, you think that you might have a lot of dumb luck or maybe that you're both fucked up enough for each other.

Chapter Text

Fuck it, you have booze at home.

You leave the bar and make the short walk back to the restaurant. At least you don't have to leave your car there overnight.

When you get home, you make yourself a drink and watch reruns of sitcoms all night. Drinking alone sucks, but it's better than making a mistake.

God knows that you've made too many of them in your life.

Chapter Text

What's the point of being at a bar if you don't have a drink in your hand. Plus, you can scope the place out from there, see if there's anyone near the bar.

You order your usual, rum and coke with extra lime, and look around while the bartender mixes it up for you. There are a few attractive people standing around, most of them are on the dance floor, paired up with other attractive people, but you're not really one for dancing.

Soon enough, you have your drink in your hand and you drink about half of it in one go. It's strong enough that you can taste the cheap rum, but that also means that you're going to get drunk pretty quickly.

You turn your eyes towards the floor before looking back over to your left. You have to look down to see the person you're standing next to, she's a good foot shorter than you even with high heels on. She looks up at you before turning her gaze down to her drink, which looks like coke with something else as well. Maybe she drinks the same thing? Either way, she's close to being done with it.

Buy Her Another.
Go Out Onto the Floor.

Chapter Text

You motion to the bartender and he's sliding what she's drinking over to you. She looks up at you and takes the drink from the bartender, sniffing it suspiciously.

"Hal." You say to her.

She says her name, you miss it completely, but it doesn't really matter. She's very short, even in her heels, and she's blonde. The glasses she wears are almost too big for her face and you wonder if they're even real, but they make her green eyes look huge so they must be. She's so quiet that you can barely make out what she's saying.

Still, you nod along with what she says, and laugh when she does. It doesn't really matter what she says, just that you can bring her into the bathroom and flip up her short skirt. She is cute but, more importantly, she seems incredibly easy and she doesn't seem that bright, missing her mouth with the straw in her drink a few times.

Soon enough, she's reaching up to pat at your arm and giggling whenever you say something.

"You wanna get out of here?" You ask her, and she laughs again.
"I'm actually here with someone, but we can find somewhere quieter." She says, and then says again when you have to tilt your head down for her to say into your ear.
"Someone?"
"Not like that. Come on."

She's sliding one of her small hands into yours, leading you into what you think might be the lady's room but you don't care to look because she's locking the door behind her and looking up at you with lidded eyes.

"C'mere." She says, leaning back against the door.

Not one to disappoint, you approach her. It's awkward to try and kiss her from where she's standing, so you don't. Instead, you lift her up until your faces are level, and she's immediately wrapping her legs around you, looping her arms around your neck and kissing you with all the finesse of a drunk girl, but you're drunk too so it doesn't really matter.

A part of you wishes that you were with someone you knew, hanging out with someone that mattered to you. Instead, you're making out with a stranger with sad green eyes like you're in your early 20s again, like she might be but you didn't bother to ask.

"C'mon." She pants, breaking the kiss.

She's demanding, something you like in a woman, something that's a bit irritating about her. You're glad that you have a condom in your wallet, pulling yourself out of your pants just as she's pushing her skirt up and tugging her panties to the side.

Soon enough, you're pushing into her tight, hot, wet cunt and she's panting into the filthy bathroom air, head hitting the door with a thunk. She's pushing fingers into your hair, and you're starting a short, fast rhythm that has both of you groaning. You have a thumb on her clit, rubbing her in time with your thrusts, trying to drown out the sound of praise and nonsense dripping from her mouth like she's a leaky faucet.

You almost tell her to shut up but it's almost adding to the experience, she's loud and doesn't care if anyone's listening. Instead, you fuck her faster. She's getting close, you can feel her clenching around you, can hear her moans pitching up. With a loud gasp, her eyes screw shut and she's cumming around you, sending you over the edge. Your hand slams on the door next to her head, burying your face into her neck as you moan.

"Fuck." You say, inelegantly as you try to catch your breath.

After a few moments, you let her down.

"Fuck," She agrees, "you were big, fuck."
"You're usually supposed to compliment that during sex."
"I never said it was a compliment." She says, wincing as she takes a step.

You're laughing before you can stop yourself, and she fixes you with an unreadable look that you think is supposed to be a dirty one, but she just ends up cracking a smile.

Before she leaves the bathroom, she's grabbing your hand and scrawling a number onto your palm.

"Call me. Or don't, I don't care." She says, shrugging and walking off.

You look down at the number. She wrote her name next to her number but it's smudged. Wiping your hands together, you smudge the rest of it.

This isn't what you want. If it took doing it to know, well, that's for the best.

You head home after that, there's nothing left for you in a bar like that. Maybe tomorrow, you'll actually remember what you've learned.

Chapter Text

You ignore the woman, instead heading for the dance floor. You're not much for dancing but, fuck it, you're feeling a little desperate.

The bodies writhe around you to a song that you don't know, one that has them all throwing their hands up into the air. You're not that much older than them, but you feel ancient, even as eyes slide over you.

Some young guy approaches you, he's got ginger hair and that's really all you need. He's a couple of inches shorter than you, and the leer on his face has you approaching him.

Neither of you say a word as he turns and backs up against you. He has a nice ass, but really, any ass would feel good as it ground up against your crotch. You move with him, rolling your hips in time with the music. Soon enough, you've both started a rhythm that has you hard, has him bringing your hand around to grab at his crotch as well. He's hard too, and you start stroking him slowly, teasing him through his tight jeans.

It doesn't take long for you to drag him off the floor. He follows you enthusiastically out to the alley, where there are other couples doing things that you don't care to look at, because he's falling to his knees almost instantly.

You're already hard when he pulls you out of your pants, stroking you once before he opens his mouth to suck your cock in. It's good head, of course, any head would be good with how drunk and alone you feel. The guy has pretty blue eyes, which has your hips twitching into his mouth, has you moaning low into the night air.

A part of you almost laughs. It's almost like you're a parody of yourself, getting head in the alley of some shitty bar by some substitute for who you really want. You actually do laugh when you tug at ginger hair that's a bit too long, disguising it at as moan when he looks up at you with the wrong eyes.

God, they really are the wrong eyes. Instead of looking at this sad substitute, you shut your eyes and moan the wrong name when you cum down his throat.

You're tucking yourself in when he coughs onto the alley floor, staggering in to pay your tab before you can do anything for him.

You use one of those apps to call yourself a car and ignore the driver's attempt at light conversation as she drives you home.

Hopefully, there's something better for you tomorrow than mistakes made in some alley with a stranger you desperately wished was someone else.

You stagger into bed and fall asleep, hoping for better days tomorrow.