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Jazz's team had completed their mission and successfully exfiltrated into the Decepticon-controlled badlands of Uraya. They weren't home free until they were, well, home, but they couldn't help stopping when a certain distraction, posted on the side of a bombed-out building, caught their optics.
"Is that a wanted poster?" Jazz asked in delight, subspacing a marker for a quick round of minor vandalism. "The 'Cons are making wanted posters for Autobots now?"
"Oh, that's not even a good likeness of me!" Tracks protested, glaring at the offending poster disapprovingly. "Come on!"
"Hey, don’t be so upset, Tracks!" Bumblebee chuckled. "They're less likely to find you if they don't really know what you look like."
Tracks huffed, refusing to be mollified. "You would think my looks would stand out more. Even the picture of my stunning alt mode is off! Those proportions are shameful."
"Aw, you just spend too much time in alt for them to get a real good look at you, Tracks," Bumblebee tried again. "You're too fast!"
That worked; Tracks preened, his vanity satisfied for now. "Yes, I suppose I am."
Jazz finished drawing mustaches on all the faces, his own particularly luxuriant and clearly modelled after Alpha Trion's, and put the marker away.
"They might not have gotten Track's faceplates or alt-mode just right," Jazz said, surveying his handiwork with a pleased look. "But they got Prowl's 'disappointed in you' look down to a 'T.' Could've been drawn from life – we had anyone he's lectured go dark side recently?" Jazz loved Prowl, really he did, but the mech's disapproval could be potent.
"We can worry about that later," Bumblebee pointed out. "We've gotta get moving to the extraction point!"
"Yeah, suppose you're right. Hey," Jazz added as they started off again, "keep a lookout for another one of Prowl. I wanna take him a memento and he'll probably like it better mustache-free."
"Alright," Bumblebee said, obviously holding back snickers, "but I want an image capture of his face when you give it to him."
Tracks sighed. "Can we please hurry back? I have a detailing appointment later today, and those have to be booked deca-cycles in advance these days."
There was a brief detour when a mustache-less Prowl poster was found and duly relocated to Jazz's subspace but other than that the exfiltration was successful. Once they were back at Iacon and debriefed, Tracks headed off to his detailing appointment, Bumblebee was off-shift, and Jazz went in search of just the right bow for Prowl's present. He ended up making one out of some spare writing foil, but it did the job.
"Happy random present day, Prowler!" Jazz announced, laying the thin metal poster on Prowl's desk, information-side down.
"Thank you, Jazz," Prowl said, raising a brow. "It's a very…square piece of metal."
"You gotta turn it over," Jazz explained. "I didn't want to give away the surprise." To be fair, he had put the bow on the reverse side. Prowl, logically, would expect that to be the right one.
Prowl plucked the bow off the metal and put it in his desk drawer, nestled among a few other gifts – or reminders of same – from Jazz, and flipped the poster over. His optics flickered, just a little, in surprise. (Jazz got Bumblebee his image capture, as promised, and sent it off.)
"I see," Prowl said eventually, just managing to keep a straight face. Jazz knew his lover well. "Thank you, Jazz. It's a very exact likeness. How did you acquire it?"
"Found 'em on our way out of Uraya," Jazz explained. "Dunno how many there are, but we saw ones for me, 'Bee, Tracks, Prime, Magnus…You've got one of the higher bounties if you're wondering."
Bumblebee sent Jazz a ping of thanks for the image capture but didn't include any commentary. To be fair, Jazz had been hoping it'd be funnier too. Ah, well.
"I wasn't, but it's good to know I'm considered a high-level threat." Prowl looked, consideringly, up at Jazz, a smile threatening the corner of his mouth. "A reward for each Autobot captured, hm? Which one of us had the higher bounty?"
"Oh…they were about equal," Jazz lied airily.
Prowl's lips twitched. "Oh, were they? How much was the difference and in whose favour?"
Jazz picked the poster up and looked around the room. "So, where d'you want to hang this up? Across from the door, behind the desk…?"
Prowl gave in and laughed, rising to help Jazz. "Ah, so that's the answer to my question. Very well, I accept your diversion, darling."
The poster wound up on the wall behind Prowl's desk, facing the door but carefully placed so that anyone trying to avoid the real Prowl's gaze met that of the illustrated Prowl. It turned out to be surprisingly effective in deterring unnecessary meetings and repeat troublemakers.
Jazz never did tell Prowl the exact difference between their bounties.