Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Darkiplier - 98

Wilford Warfstache - 126

Actor Mark - 126

Damien - Died 29. As Dark, 127

Celine - Died 29. As Dark, 127 (and ten minutes older than Damien, hehehe~)

Abe - 134

King of the Squirrels - 26

The Host - 40

Dr. Iplier - 37

Silver Shepherd - 28

Google Gang - 21

Bim Trimmer - 33

Ed Edgar - 49

YanderePlier - 20

The Jim Twins - 20

Bingiplier - 21

SantaPlier - (infinite symbol)

Randall Voorhees - 22

Derek Derekson - 47

Eric Derekson - 19

Illinois - 35

Captain Magnum - 47

Yancy - 30

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Darkiplier - Demisexual, panromantic, genderfluid (goes by they/them, just in case)

Wilford Warfstache - Pansexual

Actor Mark - Bisexual

Damien - Asexual, panromantic

Celine - Bisexual

Abe - Homosexual

King of the Squirrels - Asexual, panromantic

The Host - Asexual, biromantic

Dr. Iplier - Biromantic, demisexual

Silver Shepherd - Demisexual, biromantic

Google Gang - Pansexual

Bim Trimmer - Homosexual

Ed Edgar - Aromantic

YanderePlier - Pansexual, transfemale

The Jim Twins - Homosexual (but not towards each other, cuz that be incest, ew)

Bingiplier - Panromantic, demisexual

SantaPlier - Aromantic

Randall Voorhees - Bisexual

Derek Derekson - Heterosexual

Eric Derekson - Bi-curious/questioning

Illinois - Asexual, demiromantic

Captain Magnum - Asexual/aromantic

Yancy - Demisexual, pan-curious/questioning

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Darkiplier - Claustrophobia - The fear of small or tight spaces

Wilford Warfstache - Astraphobia - The fear of lightning/thunderstorms

Actor Mark - Thanatophobia - The fear of death

Damien - Nyctophobia - The fear of darkness

Celine - Agoraphobia - The fear of crowded places

Abe - Amnesiphobia - The fear of amnesia

King of the Squirrels - Ailurophobia - The fear of cats

The Host - Aphenphosmphobia - The fear of intimacy

Dr. Iplier - Atychiphobia - The fear of failure

Silver Shepherd - Scelerophobia - The fear of crime

Google Gang - Aquaphobia - The fear of water

Bim Trimmer - Athazagoraphobia - The fear of being forgotten

Ed Edgar - Syngenesophobia - The fear of relatives

YanderePlier - Metathesiophobia - The fear of change

The Jim Twins - Autophobia - The fear of abandonment

Bingiplier - Cibophobia - The fear of food

SantaPlier - Gerascophobia - The fear of getting old

Randall Voorhees - Taphophobia - The fear of being buried alive

Derek Derekson - Vehophobia - The fear of driving

Eric Derekson - Ligyrophobia - The fear of loud noises

Illinois - Agraphobia - The fear of sexual abuse

Captain Magnum - Astrophobia - The fear of space

Yancy - Anthropophobia - The fear of being judged by other people

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Darkiplier - Damien’s cane, and a silent practice piano that Wilford stole for them once.

Wilford Warfstache - The cylinder of his gun, his broken TV remote, and for some reason, toilet paper… He gets very excited when he and Dark are grocery shopping in the toilet paper aisle, and just stuffs the cart with over ten packages.

Actor Mark - His cravat tie. He keeps it in Damien’s pocket wherever he goes.

Damien - His cane. In a way, even when he’s sharing a body with his twin, he still does have it with him.

Celine - Her rings. She thankfully got rid of her wedding ring so she wouldn’t get… reminders.

Abe - Wilford’s old afro wig. He keeps it in his drawer just in case.

King of the Squirrels - Empty peanut butter jars!

The Host - His old typewriter. Helps him get a lot of thoughts out, even if paper wasn’t put in.

Dr. Iplier - Peeeeeeeeeennnnnnnssssssssss…

Silver Shepherd - He likes to turn his mask inside out a lot when he’s not in pure superhero mode.

Google Gang - They don’t exactly fidget with anything, they just let out a bunch of glitchy noises from their mouths, and that’s it… It’s like they’re self-ASMR-ing to themselves.

Bim Trimmer - You know those little flower toys that move from side to side if they’re put on a window sill near the sun? Yeah, Bim has a lot of those, and he plays with them a LOT.

Ed Edgar - He pulls on his hair a lot, but it’s a very autopilot thing. He’s so unaware of it.

YanderePlier - *stares at her Senpai shrine intensely* … Things.

The Jim Twins - They both share an immortal love for Rubix cubes!

Bingiplier - Fidget spinners… *shudders* Yeah, those were a thing.

SantaPlier - The little pompom on his hat!

Randall Voorhees - He has an old bird toy from when he was little, after saving his first pigeon.

Derek Derekson - He specifically has an unbreakable soft piggy bank that’s full of money to shake and throw when he’s super pissed… mostly when Eric stresses him out. It’s scary and it’s not fun to watch.

Eric Derekson - He has a whole collection of fidget toys in his closet, but the one he carries 24/7 is the yellow cloth his mother made for him. Besides only having one remaining picture of her in his room, the cloth is the only thing that’s left of her for Eric, and he will do absolutely anything to make sure he doesn’t lose it.

Illinois - A special treasure that can be broken apart and put back together again. He throws it all around his room when he’s ticked by something, which is usually very rare for him.

Captain Magnum - Either a torn up map, or a fiddling hook he doesn’t need.

Yancy - A ukulele he hides in his room. He tries to teach himself how to actually play it once everyone is asleep and the guards aren’t around.

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Darkiplier - It’s a tie between Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, or Dr. Facilier from The Princess and the Frog.

Wilford Warfstache - Loves the Red Queen and the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland with his heart and soul. Hell, he loves the original Alice in Wonderland film in general, just for how cooky it is!

Actor Mark - Lightning McQueen from Cars, and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, because he’s an asshole.

Damien - Loves Winnie the Pooh! He is just so innocent!

Celine - ADORES Ja’Far from Aladdin, because of how intimidating he is from the moment you see him.

Abe - Really likes Basil from The Great Mouse Detective. Who knew that such a small guy could solve the biggest of cases? … Nobody, because The Great Mouse Detective is very underrated, and it makes Abe super mad.

King of the Squirrels - He aspires to be like Snow White when he grows up. (yes, I know I headcanon him as 25, but shhh) Other than that though, he loves basically every single Disney movie that has animals in them. Except Aristocats. Cats are NOT the King’s forte.

The Host - MALEFICENT!!!!!!

Dr. Iplier - Really really REALLY likes how charming Flynn Rider from Tangled is.

Silver Shepherd - THE INCREDIBLES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Google Gang - All four of them really like EVE from Wall-E. Their only wish is that she still blew a bunch of stuff up more, though. If humanity got so stupid enough to leave the planet while it was garbaged up, why not attack the humans because they got so stupid?!

Bim Trimmer - He loved Lefou and Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, NOT because of the gay undertones, but because like Lefou, Bim wants to be like Gaston, but much less of an asshole!

Ed Edgar - He LOVES how much of a dick the Sheriff of Nottingham from Robin Hood is.

YanderePlier - Agent Pleakley from Lilo & Stitch! I think based on the popular headcanon that Yan is trans, and that Pleakley mostly dresses up as a woman in the movie, it’s a little obvious.

The Jim Twins - They are the living definition of Tweedledee and Tweedledum from Alice in Wonderland. Wilford is proud.

Bingiplier - He kinda hates to admit it, but he really loves Wall-E.

SantaPlier - Much like Ed Edgar, he LOVES how despicable the Sheriff of Nottingham from Robin Hood can be.

Randall Voorhees - He likes any kind of bird that appears on screen in any Disney film.

Derek Derekson - None. Yeah, he’s that heartless.

Eric Derekson - He really loves Cody from The Rescuers Down Under. He just loves how that little boy is so brave, trying to save such a rare eagle!

Illinois - Jake from The Rescuers Down Under. Mostly because he’s a mouse version of him.

Captain Magnum - Captain Hook from Peter Pan!!

Yancy - Lilo from Lilo & Stitch. He just loves how she’s written like an actual kid, and it’s how HE used to behave when he was her age; A mess!

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Darkiplier - They don’t know if it exactly counts as mythical, but they have always loved the mystery behind the Loch Ness Monster. Dark would want to go to the ends of the earth to find out if it was ever real in the first place.

Wilford Warfstache - Leprechaun! He wants to know if he could ever catch one just to find all that stinkin’ gold to buy Dark more presents!

Actor Mark - He doesn’t exactly believe in them, but if he were to choose a mythical creature that COULD be his favorite, it’d be a dragon. Because once you hear the word ‘mythical’, a dragon would be the first thing that pops in your head. And once you hear the word ‘asshole’, Actor Mark is the first thing that pops in your head as well. (Dark and Will would know this, but shhh)

Damien - He always liked the idea of mermaids!

Celine - Kind of like with Damien, but not exactly, SIRENS.

Abe - Wants to believe, but can’t. There’s only so much crazy in the world that Wilford has taught him about, I think he may need a limit to that stuff. XD

King of the Squirrels - He wants to encounter a werewolf to see if he can turn into a weresquirrel.

The Host - Sphynx!!

Dr. Iplier - He loves manticores with his entire being. They just look so badass!

Silver Shepherd - To beat Dr. Iplier on the manticore, he LOVES the chimera!

Google Gang - None, they all don’t exactly know their own preference when it comes to creatures that can cause controversy if they all were real or not.

Bim Trimmer - Imp!

Ed Edgar - He kinda likes centaurs.

YanderePlier - Unicorns, Pegasus, and Hippocampus. She had a horse phase growing up, shhh.

The Jim Twins - It varies from one to the other a LOT.

Bingiplier - Much like the Google Gang, he doesn’t know his own preference. But if he did have to choose, it would be either a hippogriff, or a griffin.

SantaPlier - Now I don’t know if this COULD be a mythical creature, but… a reindeer centaur.

Randall Voorhees - Any kind of mythical creature that has wings, basically. He just LOVES birds!

Derek Derekson - None, he doesn’t believe in them at all. He is a bit of a killjoy, if you haven’t noticed already.

Eric Derekson - Pixies!!!!

Illinois - He for some reason has the tendency to not have a favorite mythical creature. He’s been on too many adventures.

Captain Magnum - Sirens!

Yancy - Doesn’t know a whole lot of them, so his usual answer is the Mothman.

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Darkiplier - Unsurprisingly, murder mysteries. They really love Murder on the Orient Express.

Wilford Warfstache - He likes short and sweet slice of life stories. Short enough to make him remember it and not think much of, and sweet enough to make him more pure. It’s also where he gets some of his creativity from.

Actor Mark - Psychological books always got him hooked!

Damien - Really really likes political figure books. Besides having a very extensive knowledge on politics, he always wanted to know what some previous presidents were like outside of them just being a president. Where they charming? Did they have a sense of humor? Hobbies? Damien was very curious over that kind of stuff!

Celine - LOVES mysterious myths and folklore.

Abe - Much like Dark, he is a murder mystery fanatic. He could read the Clue series to no end!

King of the Squirrels - Any book about animals (sans cats) will suffice!

The Host - Psychological horror! Most of the books he’s written on his own are that genre, and he is super proud of himself.

Dr. Iplier - He likes to read books that have unrealistic hospital events.

Silver Shepherd - MARVEL COMICS!!!!!!!!!

Google Gang - They all read the local news a lot.

Bim Trimmer - He kinda wants to learn more how to cook things that ISN’T a human, so he tries to find a bunch of cook books.

Ed Edgar - Not much of a reader, so he’s pretty indifferent with it.

YanderePlier - Manga like you wouldn’t believe!

The Jim Twins - They’re both too rambunctious to even sit down and at least TRY to read something.

Bingiplier - VERY much unlike the Google Gang, Bing likes to read the most unrealistic crap you could possibly think of.

SantaPlier - Christmas books!!

Derek Derekson - He likes to read a bunch of newspapers a lot. The only nice thing that he does for Eric is to cut out the small comic strips for him.

Eric Derekson - Graphic novels of ANY kind! He’s very visual when it comes to reading, so he’s glad that comics exist.

Illinois - A D V E N T U R E

Captain Magnum - Pirate folklore!

Yancy - Musical screenplays and scripts! They’re very easy for him to read.

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Darkiplier - They have Charlotte (Dark Chica), they don’t need any other pet in the world… except for maybe a crow (they get that from Celine).

Wilford Warfstache - WAY back when he still went by William, he was OBSESSED with cats. He still holds a very strong love of them to this day.

Actor Mark - He’d probably really like a snake.

Damien - He tried having a blue jay as a pet after he saved it… it flew away pretty quickly.

Celine - When she was very little, she would scare Damien into trying to convince their mother to get a bear as a pet. Now, she really really really likes crows.

Abe - He’s a bit scared about having pets. Not that he’s scared of animals or anything, he just hates having the thought of an animal partner dying on him. He’s lost enough human partners already.

King of the Squirrels - … I think it’s pretty self explanatory.

The Host - He always thought barn owls looked very beautiful. If he had one, he’d give it all the love in the world.

Dr. Iplier - He’d really like a dog one day, maybe a labrador retriever.

Silver Shepherd - He would absolutely LOVE a hawk to fly with while fighting crime.

Google Gang - Not so huge animals fans, but if they had to choose, maybe sharks. If Dark could allow an aquarium to be built in, then the first thing the Gang would do is to get a shark to threaten stupid humans with.

Bim Trimmer - He is DESPERATE to have a snake. He has no idea why he likes snakes so much, he just LOVES them!

Ed Edgar - If he had a miniature horse or a pony, he would probably quit his job and become a service animal caretaker.

YanderePlier - CATS!!! (Wilford is so proud)

The Jim Twins - They both always wanted an axolotl! Their first name of choice would probably be “Mr. Jim Glorpus”.

Bingiplier - He’d really like a dog! He doesn’t care what kind of breed, he just wants one!!

SantaPlier - He already has pets. His bastard kiddy elves, and his reindeer. What more could he want?

Randall Voorhees - BIRDS.

Derek Derekson - As much of a killjoy that he is, he did always like all the dogs running around the house before most of his sons had their bus accident with all of them inside. He wishes he’d have a dog again, but if he did, it would probably bring back that one specific memory.

Eric Derekson - Hedgehogs!!!! He just thinks they are the cutest little things!!

Illinois - From all the caves he’s been in, he’s taken a liking to bats.

Captain Magnum - He keeps a whole parrot sanctuary somewhere in his ship, I’m sure of it.

Yancy - A bunch of birds and squirrels he’s fed over the fence in the prison yard. And temporarily a dog that he would have to train if Happy Trails has that kind of program for the prisoners.

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Darkiplier - Actor Mark.

Wilford Warfstache - Anybody who disrespects him, anybody who disrespects LGBT+, and Derek.

Actor Mark - William.

Damien - Actor Mark.

Celine - Actor Mark.

Abe - He has no time to point fingers and spread hate around people anymore.

King of the Squirrels - Anybody who abuses an animal. He is gonna replace all the animal abusers in the world as squirrels one day.

The Host - Like Abe, he doesn’t like wasting time hating people.

Dr. Iplier - Quoted by John Mulaney, “13 year olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day.”

Silver Shepherd - All the villains he has to fight.

Google Gang - Their creators. The four of them are kind of like Mewtwo from Pokemon in a way.

Bim Trimmer - His haters.

Ed Edgar - He is a bit indifferent with Derek, but given what he’s seen of what he’s done to his remaining son, Ed’s a bit suspicious.

YanderePlier - Transphobes. She’s lucky she can threaten them with her katanas.

The Jim Twins - Too rambunctious to even dislike anything.

Bingiplier - People who don’t take him seriously when he’s trying to be like the Googles for once.

SantaPlier - Santa non-believers.

Randall Voorhees - Anybody who hates on Eric and literally ANYBODY who hates on birds.

Derek Derekson - Either the Jim twins, or his last remaining son, who is absolutely nothing like him.

Eric Derekson - His father.

Illinois - Manipulative monologuing villains.

Captain Magnum - Anyone who attempts to steal his treasure.

Yancy - Anybody who messes around with his prison family.

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Darkiplier - Wilford, both platonically and romantically. They try not to be too lovey dovey near him though. They hate it.

Wilford Warfstache & Actor Mark - Celine, and Celine only. Will may have been going out flirting, marrying, and having affairs with other people throughout the years, but he’s had memory problems. You can’t blame him for almost forgetting that Celine will always be his most favorite. He said it himself when he does end up remembering her, his heart does still beat just for her after all. Actor Mark did love her as well, but not the way how Will was towards her. Actor Mark treated her like a prize that deserves a crowd, while Will treated her like an actual human. They’re two sides of the same coin for her in a way.

Damien - It was (NOT the DA) a girl he met at high school once, and he had a MASSIVE crush on her. He moved on from it of course, because fantasies are fantasies.

Celine - She never believed in true love, but once she married Actor Mark, she thought he could be the one for her, forever and ever. But when she found out he was using her just to get a bigger crowd, she started to lose her hope in love all together. Then, of course, William came along and helped her. She absolutely LOVED being with him. Even now, after all the years of how Wilford has changed, she still loves being with him.

Abe - It was one of his very first partners once he started his job as a detective. But of course, with his little curse, it wasn’t meant to be.

King of the Squirrels - Can’t exactly remember who it was, but all the King knows is that he really really liked being around them.

The Host - He had pretty bad luck when it came to being in love. Like Celine, the Host almost lost hope that true love would even exist. But once he first met Iplier, he has an entire slow burn self-insert fanfic going on in his head. As confident and as sarcastic as the Host is, he’s very mumbly and bashful around him.

Dr. Iplier - His bitch of an ex-wife, of course.

Silver Shepherd - Roxanne!

Google Gang - Haven’t had any yet. They all don’t mind, though.

Bim Trimmer - Matthias… even though he is a married man and has a daughter, but Bim is trying to move on from him anyway.

Ed Edgar - (is a confused aromantic)

YanderePlier - SENPAI ONLY!

The Jim Twins - They both have had HUGE crushes on celebrity actors, like Zefron, Keanu Reeves, Darren Criss, (insert any other attractive actor here), etc.

Bingiplier - … He has a bit of trouble trying to get with people he finds fun and attractive. If he had to choose, it would probably be a famous singer, or something.

SantaPlier - (a confused aromantic as well)

Randall Voorhees - A parrot caretaker!

Derek Derekson - His one and only wife, Mildred. She was the greatest thing to ever happen to him.

Eric Derekson - … The same girlfriend he had that died from penguins impaling her at the zoo…

Illinois - His second to last partner during his adventures. He shares the same kind of curse as Abe does.

Captain Magnum - (is also a confused aromantic as well)

Yancy - A special somebody he helped break out of prison once. He’s a bit slow about it, but does realize that he might have feelings for them as soon as he goes back to his cell. “Ah, crap.”

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Darkiplier - Actor Mark. Obviously.

Wilford Warfstache - Derek Derekson.

Actor Mark - Damien, Celine, William… just everybody. He sees everyone as villains in his eyes.

Damien - Actor Mark.

Celine - Actor Mark, and Derek Derekson.

Abe - Can’t exactly have a preference.

King of the Squirrels - A bit scared of Darkiplier, but knows they won’t hurt him.

The Host - The Jims. They are just… way too loud for his liking.

Dr. Iplier - Warfstache… He just doesn’t understand how he’s still alive, and it almost makes him angry.

Silver Shepherd - Actor Mark. He knows a villain when he sees one.

Google Gang - Bingiplier. He’s default, and he should stay that way.

Bim Trimmer - YanderePlier. She is just too desperate for love.

Ed Edgar - The Jim Twins. He wishes they were still children so he could sell them away.

YanderePlier - She just can’t stand Randall and his constant bird talk with his terrible New York accent.

The Jim Twins - Darkiplier. Unlike the King, they both believe Darkiplier is just plotting inside their head to kill everybody, but they’re relatively harmless.

Bingiplier - He likes everybody! He tries not to see the bad in everyone he meets.

SantaPlier - Warfstache, because he killed him once.

Randall Voorhees - Derek Derekson.

Derek Derekson - Everybody, but he keeps a fake smile on whenever he’s with them.

Eric Derekson - His father.

Illinois - Dark. It’s the monologuing.

Captain Magnum - SantaPlier, mostly because he shares the same beauty of a beard that he has.

Yancy - Not so sure yet. He’s a bit unsociable when he’s not around his prison fam.

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Darkiplier - They really really REALLY love the song ‘Evelyn Evelyn’ from… Evelyn Evelyn.

Wilford Warfstache - Way too many to even count, but if he had to choose one, it would probably be either ‘Radio Gaga’ from Queen, or ‘I Can’t Decide’ from Scissor Sisters.

Actor Mark - ‘Hell To Your Doorstep’ from The Count of Monte Cristo musical, because one, it’s pretty self explanatory, and because two, HELL YEAH THIS SONG SLAPS!

Damien - ‘Two Birds’ by Regina Spektor. He likes to think he’s the bird that flies away from the wire, while Celine is the one that watches him close from it.

Celine - ‘The Ones Who’ve Hurt You’ from Aurelio Voltaire. Reminds her a lot of how William reacted to her getting married.

Abe - ‘Why Worry?’ by Set It Off. He thinks of the day Wilford helped him whenever he listens to it.

King of the Squirrels - ‘Squirrel Rights Song’ by Rhett and Link!

The Host - ‘Come Little Children’ from by Erutan. He really loves the vibe it gives off.

Dr. Iplier - ‘Me, You, and Steve’ from Garfunkle and Oats… based off of some events he and his bitch of an ex-wife went through.

Silver Shepherd - After watching the Marvel ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire’ (Billy Joel) tribute video, it’s been stuck in his head ever since. He always loved that song anyway, so Marvel just made his love of the song grow!

Google Gang - … None, probably? They all have SUPER extensive knowledge when it comes to basically everything in the whole world, including music, so it’s pretty hard to ask them all which song is their most favorites.

Bim Trimmer - ‘Cherry Bomb’ from The Runaways!

Ed Edgar - His music taste is super inconsistent, but let’s keep it as ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ from Queen.

YanderePlier - ‘Senpai, Notice Me!’ from Random Encounters. Since then, she was always a huge fan of their stuff!

The Jim Twins - ‘Two-Player Game’ from the Be More Chill musical!

Bingiplier - Any song that has a ‘cool dude’ vibe.

SantaPlier - Every single Christmas song in existence.

Randall Voorhees - ‘Birds’ from Thomas Sanders’ Ultimate Storytime musical. The lyric “Sorry if I’m ornithologically prone” hits home for him.

Derek Derekson - He likes music, he just doesn’t have a particular favorite.

Eric Derekson - He is a HUGE fan of the musician Joe Iconis, and the singer George Salazar, and listens to their Two-Player Game album on loop. His two most favorites out of the whole thing are ‘Andy’s Song’, and ‘Tiny Short Little Song’.

Illinois - The ‘Indiana Jones’ theme. Yep.

Captain Magnum - ‘You Are A Pirate’ from the Lazy Town show. It’s a guilty pleasure.

Yancy - The entirety of the Newsies soundtrack, ‘Greased Lightning’ from Grease, and ‘Jailhouse Rock’ from Elvis Presley.

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Darkiplier - They fiddle their hair a LOT. They usually can’t decide whether to have it slicked back, or having it down near their eyes.

Wilford Warfstache - He gets lost in his own little thoughts whenever someone is talking for a long time. He has a VERY short attention span, but he at least tries really hard to remember and include himself in the conversation anyway.

Actor Mark - He is the definition of an annoying habit. He is SO into his own head.

Damien - Not an annoying habit, but he bounces his legs a lot whenever he sits down.

Celine - Too much of a badass queen to have bad habits.

Abe - He returns in his monochrome noir world whenever he’s thinking to himself too much. It takes Wilford a while to get him out of it.

King of the Squirrels - He chitters with his squirrels a bit too much. He brings them literally EVERYWHERE he goes. That’s why he’s not allowed to meetings anymore.

The Host - He tugs his cloth to the point where it gets loose and it falls off of his face a lot. Iplier always has to double knot it back.

Dr. Iplier - Peeeeeeeeeennnnnnnssssssssss…

Silver Shepherd - He tries SO HARD to make his lips normal, but they always stay puckered out like a duck. Ed always has the impulse to staple them shut. Ow.

Google Gang - None. All four of them are very straightforward with everything.

Bim Trimmer - Humming about eating people…

Ed Edgar - Mumbling. Nobody can understand a single word he can say sometimes, especially when he has that southern accent and the mustache

YanderePlier - *stares intensely at her Senpai shrine*

The Jim Twins - Almost everything is an annoying habit, but nobody kills them for it.

Bingiplier - “SAH DUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!!”

SantaPlier - Plotting how to torture his bastard kiddy elves every Christmas.

Randall Voorhees - He interrupts people a lot. He doesn’t mean to, and he’s been trying really hard not to stop people from talking, but he just keeps on doing it. He kinda hates it.

Derek Derekson - He stims by tossing things in his hands over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. That’s why he has pills for it.

Eric Derekson - He’s too pure to be called annoying, how dare you! He does have a habit though, and that is stuttering and fumbling on words. And it’s a bad one.

Illinois - Being too suave at everything he does. Makes you wonder how the hell he’s able to be so smooth, and it almost gives you a headache if you think about it for too long.

Captain Magnum - Shouting. Oh so much shouting.

Yancy - Breaking into song when he doesn’t mean to. It’s a coping mechanism.

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Darkiplier - Purple. It makes them feel calm whenever they look at it. And considering their aura is red and blue, occasionally, it would turn purple when they’re very calm, but it’s very rare to spot them like that.

Wilford Warfstache - PINK. He doesn’t understand why some people find it girly. Way back in the 40s (I think?), pink was considered a very boy-like color. So in Wilford’s eyes, he is the manliest man alive.

Actor Mark - ALL shades of red. He thinks it’s a color of royalty because he’s a narcissist like that.

Damien - Sky blue, definitely.

Celine - Either black, green, red, or yellow. Avoiding red because of her fate and such. ;)

Abe - Black and white. He doesn’t exactly know if black and white are considered to be actual colors, but he just like the moods they can give off. Other than those two though, he likes green a lot.

King of the Squirrels - Peanut butter. That can be considered a color, right?

Dr. Iplier - He likes the combination of blue and yellow!

Silver Shepherd - Based off of his suit, not a whole lot. He really likes blue though. Reminds him of Ibis.

Google Gang - Blue, red, green, and yellow. Specifically in that order.

Bim Trimmer - The gay flag.

Ed Edgar - Not a whole lot of favorite colors, but he does like brown a lot.

YanderePlier - Pink and red. For many reasons. :)

The Jim Twins - Every color in existence!

Bingiplier - Orange!

SantaPlier - Christmas colors, what did you expect?

Randall Voorhees - He likes yellow a whole lot.

Derek Derekson - Green, cause it reminds him of money. Yup.

Eric Derekson - Like the Jims, he likes every color! He finds all of them to be very pretty!

Illinois - Any shade of gold or orange that reminds him of all the caves he’s been in.

Captain Magnum - G O L D

Yancy - Blue!

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Darkiplier - Dark gets this trait from Damien, definitely. They have a hidden piano in his room. Since their room is completely soundproof when you’re outside of it, Dark can play their piano as loudly and as much as they want. Dark also really likes to sing as a stress reliever.

Wilford Warfstache - He plays the ukulele! He can remember a bunch of songs at the top of a hat, and plays like the happy go lucky boy he is!

Actor Mark - He’s a master of setting up plans. Especially ones that would immediately go a-wall. (cough cough Russian Roulette cough cough)

Damien - ~PIANOS~

Celine - Besides having a very strong interest in the arcane arts, she wanted to be a specialist in flowers. It sounds really simple, but Celine just wanted some kind of innocent thing to do to distract herself from the manor.

Abe - He tries to learn how to dance from Wilford when he’s free from work. He finds it super fun.

King of the Squirrels - He likes knitting! He made over 50 sweaters for his squirrels!

The Host - He really likes to analyze his favorite songs to find more than one meaning behind them. His most favorite he’s done was Bohemian Rhapsody.

Dr. Iplier - He is pretty good with animals, honestly. He has a knack for understanding their behavior and body language.

Silver Shepherd - Doesn’t have a whole lot of other talents besides being a superhero, honestly. He’d like to learn how to do sign language though.

Google Gang - The Google Gang does not have talents. The Google Gang finds knowledge a talent. Knowledge is… probably not a talent.

Bim Trimmer - He likes cooking that isn’t human for once!

Ed Edgar - Honestly… not a whole lot. He has too many children to sell than trying to find a hidden talent that he has.

YanderePlier - She LOVES doing arts and crafts! She’s a psychopathic creative pretty little lady!

The Jim Twins - They both have a very excessive amount of Rubix cubes, and they can get all of them right in under just a few seconds. Everyone is baffled by this.

Bingiplier - Skateboarding. He’s getting better! Not great, but less worse!

SantaPlier - He likes to be in disguises, so that nobody would notice him in public. He is Santa Claus, after all.

Randall Voorhees - Surprisingly, making pizza! If he did not have such a strong passion for birds, he would probably go for being a pizza chef!

Derek Derekson - He can act like a good charitable person VERY well. Eric is so confused as to why most people can’t see the signs that he’s acting.

Eric Derekson - Like Iplier, he has a talent of understanding animals and their body language! All he wants is a farm!

Illinois - What do you mean sneakiness has to be a HIDDEN talent for this man of beauty?

Captain Magnum - Making better plans than Actor Mark. He can be in charge for a split second and EVERYBODY would listen to him and he’d be right.

Yancy - Singing and dancing are his only options…

Chapter Text

Darkiplier - Chronic pain, claustrophobia, dysphoria

Wilford Warfstache - PTSD, ADHD, short and long-term memory loss, astraphobia, schizophrenia

Actor Mark - Megalomania

Abe - PTSD, depression

The Host - Chronic pain, PTSD

Dr. Iplier - ADHD, atychiphobia

Bim Trimmer - Kuru (another word for cannibalism)

The Jim Twins - Autophobia

Derek Derekson - Megalomania (Derek and Actor Mark would get along GREAT)

Eric Derekson - Social anxiety, PTSD, Asperger’s Syndrome

Yancy - Anxiety, depression

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Darkiplier - Getting stuck in an elevator for the first time. Sure, they could just poof out of there no problem, but here’s the thing. When Dark is legitimately terrified over something, they have zero control of what to do, and since they have claustrophobia, they just sit with their hands tugging their hair, breathing sporadically, until something, at least anything good happens. Wilford got them out though, and just seeing them hiding their face in their arms and knees in the corner made him feel awful.

Wilford Warfstache - Realizing he has astraphobia. He never thought he would be scared of any thing, but after many many MANY diagnosis’ from Dr. Iplier, finding out that he was afraid of thunderstorms was not specifically a good thing to hear. He’s had certain PTSD moments of thunderstorms way back when he was still a Colonel, all because of his army days as well. He has nightmares whenever there are thunderstorms, but it rarely rains in LA anyway, so Wilford is very grateful he chose an okay place to - almost - never have his astraphobia PTSD triggered.

Actor Mark - Finding himself in the Upside Down for the first time after he committed suicide. He was so confused and lost.

Damien & Celine - Getting possessed and killed in Celine’s Seer room.

Abe - His very first partner dying during a case of an intense robbery.

King of the Squirrels - Saving one of his squirrel subjects by almost getting run over by a truck. Since then, he was VERY cautious over seeing what the rest of his squirrels would be doing outside.

The Host - Waking up blind after losing his eyes. He doesn’t remember what happened when he lost them, all he knew was that he was terrified.

Dr. Iplier - Probably seeing the Host for the first time. The Host looked very tired, grumpy, and the dried blood streaks on his cheeks underneath his cloth made him just look downright intimidating. Maybe a bit more intimidating that Dark, but that might be argued upon. But since then, the Host was just a very talkative pure boy. Iplier softened up near him once they started sharing seats at the meeting table.

Silver Shepherd - Fighting his very first villain! He was SUPER nervous, and made a few mistakes by being thrown into buildings, but of course made it through!

Google Gang - The Google Gang feel no fear… except for the ocean. Finally, a group of Egos that Mark Fischbach himself can relate to!

Bim Trimmer - Wilford appearing in a Hire My Ass episode with no announcement whatsoever. Bim doesn’t like it when a loud unexpected thing appears from nowhere, but it’s Wilford Warfstache, so Bim was somewhat okay with it… kinda.

Ed Edgar - … None! Ed’s a tough cookie!

YanderePlier - Killing her first victim that was crushing on her Senpai. She was afraid to get caught, BIG TIME.

The Jim Twins - Any time somebody tries to keep them apart.

Bingiplier - Being made to eat something. He’s a robot, so robots don’t necessarily need to eat, but he just find eating food to be very uncomfortable.

SantaPlier - Once Wilford was about to kill him… with a bazooka… in the sky.

Randall Voorhees - It was one event where he was almost crushed by a library shelf as a child, and that caused him to have his taphophobia.

Derek Derekson - Driving in his car after his sons’ bus accident. He couldn’t stand the thought and possibility of crashing his car.

Eric Derekson - Any time Derek was about to threaten him after doing something wrong.

Illinois - He’s seen a lot of scary shit, but keeps it all to himself and saves them for stories to tell to kids.

Captain Magnum - Having to sacrifice his new first mate in order to get treasure.

Yancy - Killing his parents. They were just too much.

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Darkiplier - Mark’s ability to draw people into doing things with/for him (even if it could be a dumb thing - mostly dumb things).

Wilford Warfstache - Mark’s sense of inner childlike wonder, wanting to have fun and do things that would be very exciting.

Actor Mark - Mark’s sense of self-confidence, cockiness, and never ending sarcasm.

Damien - Mark’s empathy, and wanting to help others.

Celine - Mark’s wonder of otherworldly concepts.

Abe - Mark’s love of atmosphere.

King of the Squirrels - Mark’s love of animals.

The Host - Mark’s ability of telling stories in a lot of different ways.

Dr. Iplier - Mark’s knowledge of what’s best for himself.

Silver Shepherd - Mark’s sense of responsibility.

Google Gang - Mark’s knowledge of… anything.

Bim Trimmer - Mark’s voice and wording for announcing special things.

Ed Edgar - Mark’s likeness to kids.

YanderePlier - Mark’s romantic/sexual inclinations and femininity.

The Jim Twins - Mark’s bond with his brother, and his love for his family.

Bingiplier - Mark’s sense of trying to be cool but failing most of the time.

SantaPlier - Mark’s selflessness of giving.

Randall Voorhees - Mark’s specific fascination of birds (I apologize for making Randall a bird addict - but whenever Mark sees birds he just seems so interested in them).

Derek Derekson - Mark’s negative thoughts and hidden aggressiveness whenever he’s stressed or angry.

Eric Derekson - Mark’s occasional shyness and hesitation.

Illinois - Mark’s sense of adventure.

Captain Magnum - Mark’s fear of the ocean, even though Magnum practically LIVES in the ocean.

Yancy - Mark’s growing love of acting and singing.

Chapter Text

(WKM)

Actor Mark and Celine - It did last for a while, but obviously, it wasn’t meant to be.

William and Celine - Mark just visually stated multiple times that Willine is canon, what do you want? I can see their relationship being very domestic and protective with each other, full of love.

(WMLW)

Wilford and Abe - I like to think Abe and Wilford tried going the romantic route for a long time, but since Abe has a bit of overprotectiveness when it comes to partners, and since Wilford proves he can be unloyal to a partner, they realized this and stopped. That doesn’t stop them from hanging out and being just friends, though.

(Current)

Darkiplier and Wilford - Let’s face it, this has got to be one of the most complex love stories of all time. Dark can be in denial over their feelings because of their, um… reputation, but Wilford makes them feel the need to be content in life, while Dark is able to keep Wilford in check from not getting into too much trouble. In a way, Dark and Wilford help each other without really noticing it. They don’t say it to each other a lot, but they do love each other, in many different ways.

The Host and Dr. Iplier - Y'all knew this was coming. I’ve never explicitly written or shown that much love to this ship before, but I will be honest, this ship is very cute and interesting to think about. I like to imagine the Host helping Iplier more than Iplier helps the Host, and that says a lot, because Iplier is the actual doctor with a permit in this relationship. I like to think Iplier knows that the Host can take care of himself when it comes to incidents with his eye sockets, which I think doesn’t bother the Host that much. The Host keeps up with Iplier’s mental health, because… well… Iplier is a doctor, he sees a bunch of injuries in such different ways almost every day, so it must be a bit traumatizing for him.

Google Blue (Gordon) and Bim - Who knew that a robot that has a deep hate for humanity would end up having a crush on a human that eats other humans? They don’t show it a whole lot, but Gordon and Bim adore each other. Sure, Bim doesn’t have that much hate for humanity as much as Gordon or the rest of the Google Gang does, but that doesn’t stop him from eating a few people who have been rude to him or his robot boyfriend.

Google Yellow (Oliver) and Eric - Being a bit of a defective Google, Oliver never saw the appeal of hurting humans, for he believed anybody can be a good person… and ERIC DEREKSON IS CERTAINLY NO EXCEPTION! Eric was always a bit nervous about the Google Gang, but whenever Oliver would be around him, Eric’s guard was put down a notch, seeing how different he was among the other three robots. Oliver and Eric would share jokes together, and even though Oliver is a robot and can’t laugh, he enjoys the jokes he and Eric exchange, just because Eric likes them. Oliver has a sunshinier and calmer presence to him that Eric can really appreciate.

Yancy and Illinois - Despite Illinois’ pretend-flirtatious nature, the moment he spotted Yancy, he wasn’t sure if he was pretending to be flirty with him or not. It’s been a while since Illinois felt true love over somebody… and Yancy was not having it. It was only because Yancy’s surroundings were different that he didn’t connect with anybody, including Illinois. Yancy felt as if he deserved to be in prison after what he did, so it’s understandable that he’d feel this way for a bit and stay away from everybody. Yancy does eventually warm up to Illinois, but tries to hide his affection. Everybody knows this.

Chapter Text

Darkiplier and Dr. Iplier - These two get along quite well, actually, but mostly because of Wilford. Not that he was able to force Dark and Iplier to be friends… It's because Dark and Dr. Iplier are always concerned about Wilford and his safety, for the most part. Besides that though, when Dark and Dr. Iplier have to keep almost ALL of the chaotic Egos in check, it can be relieving when one has to vent out their issues to the other.

Wilford and Yandere - (I finally gave YanderePlier a nickname, it’s just Ayano, her official name from Yandere Simulator :D) Wilford and Ayano get along remarkably well, kind of like a goofy-father-goofy-daughter relationship where they both act silly and goof off most of the time.

Abe and Wilford - They’ve been best friends since the 70s, what more do you want? Abe and Wilford get along very very VERY well, and they know each other’s habits like the back of their hand. They’re very sarcastic together, and that makes them play off like they’ve known each other since they were babies. They’ve helped the other with many struggles throughout the years, and Abe would have no idea where he’d be if it wasn’t for Wilford. As if you couldn’t tell, they’re very close.

King of the Squirrels and the Jim Twins - The King isn’t as chaotic as the Jim Twins are, but the three are REALLY energetic and out-of-the-box when they’re in the same room together. The three can just look at each other, and they all smile with mischievous intentions. Run while you still can.

The Host and Darkiplier - A friendship that’s SO calm when they’re alone together, you’d have no idea if the two would even like each other. The Host has a calm and almost wise presence to him, and he rarely loses his temper. It’s something Dark wishes they’d have, so they just… assert themselves near the Host so they’d ask him for a bit of behavior advice whenever Dark would be lost or stressed out. The Host is helpful, and Dark finds him very comforting.

Silver Shepherd and Illinois - Imagine; A superhero and an Indiana Jones ripoff adventurer in the same room together. They both brag about each other’s adventures together, and with that, they get along very well.

Bim and Derek - Surprisingly, these two get along… greatly. Derek can appreciate somebody that isn’t his son, somebody like Bim, to actually help him with his business. Bim doesn’t exactly like how Derek treats his son, but he doesn’t let it get to him that much, because he and Derek are such good friends! :D

Ed Edgar and the Jim Twins - Their friendship in a nutshell: Banter. So much banter.

Yandere and Eric - These two get along like a bigger-sister-and-little-brother relationship. Ayano and Eric play around with each other and they respect each other’s boundaries, and Ayano is very protective when someone criticizes or hurts Eric. Ayano tries to get Eric away from his dad as much as she can, but as much as Eric appreciates it, he’d stand up for himself against his father, but Ayano knows he’s failed at that kind of thing multiple times. They both like hanging out a lot, overall.

Bing and Randall - The most uncool Ego in the same room with the most laid back, and most chillest Ego in the world… These two get along pretty well.

Eric and Captain Magnum - The official “I am adopting this child and no one can stop me” friendship. With both of them noticing that they’re amputees, it was 100% destiny that these two would be unlikely friends. Magnum is very gentle with Eric, knowing that he’s the most sensitive little thing he’s ever seen. Besides the Jim Twins and Yancy, Magnum allows Eric to climb on him because of how big he is, compared to the other Egos, and he wants all of them to feel tall. Eric likes feeling tall when he’s around Captain Magnum.

Captain Magnum and Yancy - Their friendship could honestly be like Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver from Treasure Planet. Like Eric, Yancy was never particularly close with his father, so Captain Magnum would be the first and almost only choice to go for fatherly advice. Though the Captain isn’t exactly good at giving advice, he is very gentle and tries to be as helpful as possible. He also offers hugs, and Yancy secretly really likes getting them from Magnum.

Yancy and Eric - Yancy wasn’t too keen on meeting any of the Egos when he first arrived, and Eric wasn’t too keen on meeting somebody from prison. Eventually though, the two made it work, with Eric (very shyly, might I say) asking Yancy if he’d like to have waffles with him. Yancy was hesitant for a bit, but gave in because… well, mostly because he was hungry, and he kept himself locked in his room for almost a whole week. The more the two hung out, the more confident they were with each other. Overall, these two go together like friggin Amethyst and Steven from Steven Universe. It’s very pure.

Chapter Text

Darkiplier - Dork (Wilf), king/queen (Wilf), m’they-dy (Wilf), bully (Wilf), mom (Wilf and Yan), thing (themselves and the Actor)

Wilford Warfstache - Will (Dark), Wilfy Warfy (himself), bubble boy/bubbles (everybody), silly thing (Dark), flower (Dark), pinkie (Yancy), murderer (the Actor), pops/dad (Yan), bud/buddy (Abe)

Actor Mark - Asshole (Dark), dingus (Dark), ratboy (everybody), master (himself, his MANY butlers)

Damien - Damn (Will, and the District Attorney), damsel (Will), little brother (Celine)

Celine - Sweetheart (Will), love (Will), badass (Will and Damien), sister (Damien)

Abe - Dick-tective (Wilf), Abe-y baby (Wilf), duck (Wilf), Abe-lbee (Wilf), friend (Wilf, sometimes in Japanese)

King of the Squirrels - The True Rat King (literally everybody), fuzzy (Ed Edgar)

The Host - Ragface (the Jim Twins), therapy (Wilf and Dr. Iplier), audio commentary (Yancy)

Dr. Iplier - Doc (Yancy and Illinois), Stressed™ (himself and Wilf), Edward (Host)

Silver Shepherd - Silver (everybody), hero (himself), alien (Yancy and the Jim Twins)

Google Gang - The Metal Crew (everybody), (Gordon) Gordy (Wilf and Bing), grouch (Bing), blue (himself and the Gang), (Elliot) El (Bing), smelliot (Bing), red (himself and the Gang), (Lenny), Len (Bing), Lenard (Bing), green (himself and the Gang), (Oliver) Ollie (everybody), yellow (the Gang)

Bim Trimmer - A Literal Ego (everybody), showoff (Wilf), the first gay Disney prince (himself)

Ed Edgar - Eddy (the Jim Twins), cowboy (everybody), double E (Yancy)

YanderePlier - Ayano (herself, Dark, and Wilf), Yan (everybody), sweetie (Dark), princess (Wilf), girly (Wilf), badass (Wilf), rose (Dark)

The Jim Twins - RJ (everybody), CJ (everybody), the clones (everybody)

Bingiplier - Bingo (himself and Yancy), default (Gordon), idiot (Elliot), glitch (Lenny)

SantaPlier - Big red grouch (Wilf), loud (Eric and Wilf), dumpy (Wilf), grampy (Yan)

Randall Voorhees - Blondie (everybody)

Derek Derekson - Dad (Eric), dick (Wilf), dumbass (everybody), bad dad (Captain Magnum)

Eric Derekson - Buddy (Yancy), ‘ric (Yancy), son (Derek), legless (Derek), kid (Yancy), sprog (Captain Magnum), boy (Captain Magnum)

Illinois - Idaho (Yancy and Wilf), Harrison Ford (Yancy), Winconson (Wilf), Dakota (Wilf), literally any state other than Illinois (everybody)

Yancy - Kickline kid (himself), murderer (himself), son (Captain Magnum)

Captain Magnum - Maggie (Illinois), captain (everybody), big guy (everybody), maggot (Bim), softie (Yancy and Illinois), dad (Yancy)