Chapter Text
Gina's skin was this dark brown that reminded him of the creamy center of a truffle and when he treated her as such: licking and tasting and eating, she'd shivered, carded her fingers through his hair and called him "baby". She came warm and wet on his naked lap. Her breasts were full; a satisfying weight in his hands. They were firm against his chest as she rode him and her hair were these tantalizing tight curls that sprang back to shape when he tug at them. They framed her symmetrical heart-shaped face like a soft halo.
It should have been pleasant. Hell, she came twice, was tighter than a glove; this should have been fantastic.
But while she undulated around his dick, her head thrown back, exposing a flawless, un-inked swan's neck, all Alec could think of was:
Too tall, not thin enough, eyes too big, voice does this weird titter when she cries out "Dean, oh, Dean", fingers kinda short and too soft, cheek's too smooth and lips too lush and too puckered and too pouty and she does this weird hip thing...
What the hell was wrong with him?
Darkness shrouded her cluttered bedroom; there was only a secondhand lamp flickering on top of a three-legged lopsided dresser. The lamp died after Gina came the first time and she was too whipped to climb off him to fix it. So when her sticky hands poke and prodded him for round two in the dark, it was fine by Alec. Hell, Gina was already bouncing on his lap before he could say "Okay." He supposed he should be flattered.
Even in the dark, Gina felt wrong, like she should have been someone else. So when her fingers trailed the back of his neck, Alec had to fight back the urge to shove her off. There was a sense of ickiness when the pads of her fingers press on the base of his healed neck before they skimmed down his bare back.
Gina dropped her head on his damp shoulder, breathing heavily into his ear. Another note: her breath smelled too much like the three Seattle sake bombs she drank for dinner. He had only five and was still sober enough to steer her out the bar, away from dark and lurking alleys and safely up to her apartment. It was an apartment she paid actual rent for and has its own working bathroom. It was a nice place in the nicer part of town so when she giggled and asked him to come upstairs and to take off his jeans, Alec wasn't exactly against it.
But now...
Alec stroked down the sleek line of her arched spine and idly marveled at the absence of scars.
"Mm, Dean. That was..." Fingers trailed down between them and she fondled his lax cock that slipped out. She plucked idly at the condom he sheathed. She leaned in and whispered.
"I work late tomorrow."
"I only have one condom," was Alec's response.
The night ended pretty quickly after that.
Post-coital bliss on a rooftop in a winter's day was sobering.
Alec laced his fingers behind his head and gazed unblinkingly towards the sky. It was only starting to reveal its stars to a brown-out city. He crossed his legs and thought back action by action, step by step, reviewing what he did, what she did and tried to figure out why the hell everything fell short.
Nada.
Scowling, Alec sat up. He rested on the raised edge and peered down the side of the building. Pillars of weak light marked each floor, but he focused only on the one two levels down.
Two days ago, Logan promised to find out his twin's name. Alec wondered if his twin got the name after someone had shouted it to him. Did his twin truncate it or did he picked his own name? Did he also have a worn copy of 1001 Baby Names in his pack? Did he circle and tagged each candidate and tried each one for a spin a week?
Or did he go with a designation?
Alec dropped his head on the ledge. The rough concrete dug into the tender skin under his chin. He exhaled slowly.
Why the hell did he tell Logan his name? There goes incognito, 494.
Logan's eyes were pale green-golden when he stared up at Alec after Alec confessed. They were wide, startled, matching the partially opened mouth. Shit, Alec had swooped right in and devoured that mouth. If Logan had made another one of those sounds again, he would have crushed Logan into the couch, trying to crawl into his skin—
Alec pressed the heel of his hand over the knot of heat in his groin. He ran the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, over and over until he realized that heat was now sitting uncomfortably large and demanding against his jeans' zipper. His hand jerked away.
Geez, 494, it was just a kiss.
Only it wasn't just a kiss. Even if Alec went prowling for another Gina, he knew he would still taste Logan in his mouth.
"Son of a..."
His chin ached vaguely when he knocked it on the ledge a few times to shake out the traitorous musing of what it would feel like to have Logan murmur "Dean" against his skin while Alec drove his cock into his body?
No. Not Dean.
Alec.
"Stupid, man, stupid." Alec flopped down on the roof and folded his arms over his eyes. He stomped his boots on the roof. His knees throbbed so he did it again.
His palms itched; remembering how firm, how surprisingly muscled Logan's thigh was when Alec smoothed a palm up towards his goal. Alec wasn't lying when he said he would make it good for him. He wondered why Logan bothered lying that he was worried it wouldn't be good for Alec.
Alec thought briefly back to Gina. She had no complaints about his technique. Getting it up was not a problem for this X-5. And despite what Alec suspected Logan was worried about, it didn't bother him. Hell, there were lots of things they could do. Alec was a creative guy. Nine out of ten johns agree; the other was usually too high to get it up anyway.
His hands curled and twitched. Alec thought about how light Gina felt straddling him. Logan was thin on good days, but Alec remembered how Logan felt when he helped him back into his chair. Logan felt warm and solid. Quiet strength pressed against Alec and Logan was firm in all the right places.
It wouldn't be easy like Gina was on his lap; the man proved his upper body strength made up for his legs and even if his cheekbones were a little too angular, he couldn't be considered a feather either. Alec could imagine him though, astride Alec's lap, powerful arms holding himself upright as he rode Alec's cock, controlling the pace as his shoulders flexed to keep him steady.
And Alec could see his hands palming that ass, thumbs massaging and seeking, spreading him wider, fingers gripping Logan's hips possessively as he pistons up into that dark heat he knew would be so goddamn tight, muscles playing down the strong line of his back when Logan comes because oh fuck, Alec sure as hell was going to make him come again and again, as sure as he knew he'll shatter just as violently into Logan over and over, filling that ass until his cum spill—
"Argh!" Alec's legs kicked out as he physically shook himself out of whatever the hell that was. He slammed back to the ledge, panting. His elbows smarted when they smacked into the ledge. His head rung briefly when it struck the concrete. But the dual pain was nothing compared to the tightening in his groin, aching so acutely, he needed to hunch over, forehead to knees, his breath ragged and loud in his ears.
No, no, no. Oh hell, no. This can't happen. Logan made it clear he didn't want it to happen. Alec has no interest in taking on someone else's baggage either. He has enough problems with Manticore. And an expensive lab experiment like himself has no right wishing for this normal life shit.
Logan didn't know what he was missing though, but unlike some assholes, Alec can take "no" for an answer just fine.
But that kiss...
The night air picked up around him, strengthening as it swirled higher to the roof. It had the tang of iron rich soot, grease and ozone. It promised a thunderstorm. Perfect. Alec needed a cold shower right about now. He pressed the heel of his hand over his traitorous erection and tried to think of anything else. Finally, it took him reciting the computer equation P versus NP in Farsi before it felt like he could straighten up.
Below him, Chinese hockey lad—oops, Mrs. Moreno was watching basketball tonight.
Alec snorted. It sounded like the same sportscaster though, cursing in Mandarin as Jordan slam dunks another one for the Shanghai Lakers, bringing them to 107 against the London Pacers' 92. The TV's tinny roar escaped Moreno's window. Then it abruptly cut off when she shut the TV. Time for bed for Mrs. Moreno, Chinese basketball be damned.
Alec pursed his lips. He peered over the side of the building. Not going to Logan's would end up being a bigger deal than it really is. After all, he did say he was coming by, right? A kiss was just a kiss. In some places, it was only "Hello." If Logan wanted to live as a monk until his dick fell off, fine. If the guy wanted to pick his porn over the real thing, Alec could deal.
Uh huh.
Shut up.
Grumbling, Alec peered over the edge again. He canted his head and listened. The apartment has been quiet for the past four minutes.
Mrs. Moreno was probably asleep by now. Surely, Logan was too.
At the thought of Logan in bed, long lashes curtained against the angle of cheekbones, Alec's cock twitched once more.
"Knock it off!" Alec glared down at his crotch. "Guy's not interested. Don't screw with our meal ticket."
Crap, wrong choice of words.
Alec grit his teeth together. He gave himself a demerit: fifty-one handed push-ups. He finished them quickly, fast enough to get his blood pounding in his ears. He sat there trembling against the ledge. When he realized he'd been absently stroking the thick gray scarf around his throat, he hastily pulled his hand down and sat on it.
Maybe he'll come back tomorrow instead.
Alec nodded fervently to himself. He jumped to his feet. He leaned over to bid Logan good night but paused when he realized there was still a faint beam of light coming out from the window under Mrs. Moreno's.
A scoff escaped.
"Seriously, Heather?" Alec peeled back the cover on his watch. He could easily make out the hour.
Alec scowled. None of his business. Logan always kept weird hours. He rounded his shoulders and turned on his heels. Tomorrow, he'll drop by tomorrow.
Logan's scarf brushed under his chin. Alec's stride faltered.
He was already here. Maybe the fridge is stocked. He did miss dinner. Oh yeah, and lunch.
Alec absently rubbed a thumb into the thick stitching warm around his throat. He glanced over his shoulder.
By the time he rappelled down to Logan's floor, it had occurred to Alec how stupid this was. Didn't he decide he'll come back tomorrow? But before he could reel himself back up, the hunched figure in the computer area beckoned. He paused, hanging on his harness, swaying in the breeze, his fingertips lightly pressed to the glass to keep him from penduluming too far.
The light overhead cast Logan in shadow; his skin dusted in darkness. There was a square patch of light he was leaning towards with all the intent of a freezing man seeking fire. Head down, shoulders slouched, Logan appeared to have been in that position for hours. Alec confirmed it when Logan stretched his arms above his head before one hand dropped down to massage the back of his neck.
Alec hung there, unsure why he didn't slip through the window or just climb back up to the roof. He stared at Logan's back, half-concealed by the wheelchair. He thought about the open-mouthed expression Logan gave him when he told him his name. He wondered if he had stayed then, what that expression would have changed to.
After his personal rubdown, Logan tapped a fist to his right shoulder. He reached down behind him and kneaded his lower back.
It looked like Logan was getting ready for an all-nighter if the carafe of coffee on his desk was any indication. He reached for the takeout box next to it and gave it a few half-hearted pokes with a spoon. He took a few bites and set the carton back on the desk the second something flickered on his computer screen. Then, he assumed the position again: slouched forward like a mad scientist over his keyboard.
But then, Logan paused.
Sitting higher, Logan slowly turned his chair and looked behind him.
Alec froze with one hand curled around the rigging, the other flat on the glass, pressing down so hard, the tips of his fingers turned white.
Separated by glass, Alec stared at Logan. Logan stared back and at this point, Alec thought someone should do something because he was feeling like a pinned specimen on a slide and Logan looked like someone smacked him with a dead fish.
After a blink, Logan's mouth tentatively curved. He slowly raised a hand and gave Alec a tiny wave. He shrugged one shoulder. It looked like he made a short laugh.
Alec smiled back crookedly and slipped a hand into the inch of space Logan left open in his window. He noted with disapproval that Logan didn't even bother setting the alarm this time. He shunted the thought to the back of his mind as he carefully stepped through the window. It was unnerving to do this with Logan watching yet ridiculous at the same time Alec even found it disturbing.
Once inside, Alec took his time shutting the window, even setting the alarm before taking a steadying breath. He felt oddly lightheaded, but he pivoted around on the count of three.
Logan never moved, still watching Alec from the distance. Something flickered across his face. His shoulders lost some of the terse line that sat across them.
"Hey."
Alec blinked. Wasn't that his line? He cleared his throat.
"Hey." Alec nodded towards the computer area. "You're up late."
Logan didn't look behind him. "Could say the same about you."
"Yeah, well..." Alec found himself shrugging again.
"Look, I—"
"I get—"
They both spoke at once. For a second, it wasn't clear who said what. Logan gestured towards him to go ahead.
Alec shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sorry I didn't tell you my real nam—that my name wasn't Dean."
It was both a relief and disconcerting when Logan's shoulders lifted briefly, his face perfectly blank.
"I, of all people, can understand the need for an alias." Logan rolled into the living room.
"I've used one from time to time." Logan slanted him a look. "Us porn writers need a pseudonym from time to time."
Alec cracked a smile. "You mean you're not just Heather?"
Logan snorted.
The sound seemed to have broken up the thick air that hung between them. Alec leaned back into the couch. He tracked Logan now going into the dining area.
"Wasn't sure if..." Logan hesitated, a manila folder now on his lap. "When you might be back." As Logan drew closer, he handed Alec the folder. "I knew the names before but never researched whom each belonged to."
It was thin, but it felt like a time bomb ticking away in Alec's hands. He studied the plain folder. His brow rose when he noticed a bright yellow square stuck on a corner.
"Like I said," Logan said awkwardly. "Wasn't sure when. Thought I would just leave it out with a note for you in case we miss each other. Since I can't messenger it to you." He coughed. "I mean, no address and everything."
Alec idly plucked at the note. He could easily read out Logan's almost ruler straight print.
Alec, his name was Ben.
It looked like Logan started out with Dean, but the 'D' and 'E' were crossed out, Alec was written in its place with careful print, neat and concise.
"Ben." Alec tried the word. It sat heavy on his tongue. He studied the kid staring stoically back at him with a few others. They were all dressed in camouflage with shaved heads and emotionless eyes. They stood like perfect little soldiers, dressed in gray sweats, standing in parade rest. It looked like some twisted parody of a family portrait.
"He's a year or two older," Logan went on. "Escaped Manticore in '09 and separated from the others." Logan's chair creaked as it rocked back and forth.
"They were all kids, really. Some were fortunate enough to be taken in, others..."
"They weren't trained to deal with the Outside yet," Alec said numbly. He scanned the photo; he wondered if he'd trained with any of them before. "Good old Ben went to see the world, only the world bit back."
He was flawed.
Alec swallowed. He closed the folder and tried to give it back to Logan, who shook his head.
"You keep it."
"Why?" Alec shot back before he could stop himself. "It's not like I knew any of them."
Logan didn't comment. Well, he couldn't because suddenly, a yawn interrupted.
Alec smirked at the annoyance Logan couldn't hide. "Don't tell me I'm boring you." He waved with the folder towards the bedroom.
Logan's gaze drifted to his computer area instead. "I'm waiting for a call."
Alec rolled his eyes. "Probably asleep like everyone else." At Logan's pointed look, Alec grinned toothily. "Me? Sleep? This is like, the Golden hour." He rubbed his thumb and index together.
Logan chuckled. "I guess my Baroque vases are safe for another day then, Alec—What?" He frowned, having caught Alec's expression.
"No, nothing..." Alec scratched his jaw. "First time you called me Alec."
"Oh." Logan gave it some thought. "I could call you Dean," he offered.
"No. Alec is fine. It was just...weird." Surprisingly, not a bad kind of weird. Alec's stomach was doing flip flips though. He eyed the carton left in the computer area.
"Anything to eat?" Alec waved towards the carton. He smirked. "Or if you're tired, want me to tuck you in?" He snickered and held up his hands at Logan's expression.
"Don't look like that. I know I'm not your type." Alec squashed down the churning in his stomach. "I got the message last time but thought it couldn't hurt to try."
Logan sighed but at least he didn't look freaked out or about to get his gun. He smiled ruefully as he went around and transfer over to the couch.
"My type?" Logan mused. It didn't look like he meant it for anyone's ears but his own. He leaned into the couch and waved wearily over his shoulder towards the computer area.
Alec retrieved the carton on the computer desk and peered inside the nearly full container of vegetarian fried rice. He made a face after he stirred around the clumpy cold rice.
"You sure? I think I'm actually I'm desperate enough to eat this."
"Go ahead," Logan said tiredly. "I wasn't in the—"
"Mood for it. Yeah, yeah. Where have I heard that before?" Alec shoveled rice into his mouth. He made a face but gulped down the food. He wasn't a fan of bean sprouts but beggars, choosers and all that.
"Didn't you eat?" Logan frowned. "Because it can't be that good."
Alec's burp earned him a face. He grinned at Logan, unrepentant.
"I'm a growing boy." Alec shrugged. "Just had breakfast. No biggie. Keeping my expenses low. PD's been prowling the streets more lately for some reason. So just late night work but that's been slim pickings too."
Alec gestured to his neck with the spoon. "And I might as well be wearing a neon sign with this. Still gotta find a new guy too." He brightened. "Unless Heather wants to bet on me again?"
Logan's mouth pressed thin. "The cages? Thought you're staying low?"
"Thing about underground betting, no one's gonna rat me out and screw up a good thing to be an upstanding citizen."
Logan sighed. "There must be a better way."
"Hey, like I said before, if you think of anything, feel free to tell me."
Alec stabbed the spoon deep into the carton. The rice was suddenly gummy in his mouth. "I, uh...I need to keep scarce until the police slack off again. Try not to miss this pretty face too much." He thought about the shrinking wad of cash rolled up in his boot. There were always the johns. The thought of going back to his alley, though, was making him feel queasy.
"Oh darn," Logan said dryly. "I was going to write all about you in my diary."
Alec perked up. "Yeah? What would you have said? 'Dear diary, It's so boring with my porn without Ale—'" He stopped.
"What?" Logan's gaze rooted Alec to his spot even from all the way from the couch.
Alec shrugged. "Nothing," he mumbled. He steered for the kitchen.
"I'm gonna raid your fridge. It better not be pathetic again." After a quick look though—wasn't hard, there was nothing in there—Alec shut the fridge with a snort of disgust. "Never mind."
"Alec. What is it?"
Logan appeared ready to get back into his chair again. Alec moved away from the kitchen. He stuck his hands in his pockets again.
"Nothing." Alec squinted into the carton of rice. He stirred it listlessly. "Hey, I think this got some bad meat in it. Wasn't this supposed to be—"
"Alec."
It sounded so different when Logan said his name. Then again, no one's said his name unless he counted himself and the woman he'd tried to pickpocket once. She'd call him a smart alec when he tried to pick her up after she caught him. No, looker as she was, she didn't count. No. Only Logan. Besides himself trying it out in the mirror, only Logan ever said his name.
"I am sorry," Alec murmured.
"Huh?"
Alec could feel a flush creeping up his neck. It was an unfamiliar feeling. He squirmed.
"About my name," Alec muttered.
"Thank you for trusting me with it."
Alec furrowed his brow.
"Sure," Alec said slowly. Logan was giving him some goofy dopey looking eyes. Thinking quickly, Alec smirked at him. Logan blinked.
"I'm not sorry about that kiss though."
Sure enough, it disarmed Logan. A bit of pink stained his cheeks in a way Alec wanted to lick it off.
Logan twisted around in the couch and faced the windows.
"About that," Logan murmured.
Alec's grin faded. "It wasn't bad, was it?"
"No! I mean, it wasn't, but we shouldn't—" Logan fumbled. He sighed. "It wasn't awful."
"Wasn't awful?" Alec repeated. "That's the same as saying not great. Hey, I give excellent kisses, full on teeth and tongue action. Here, let me show yo—"
"Wait, wait, wait!" Logan sounded panicked. He didn't turn around but Alec caught the wide-eyed expression reflected off the windows.
Alec sobered. "Hey. If it's not your thing, no problem, but I'm pretty sure you kissed me back."
The back of Logan's ears turned into an interesting red.
"I..."
Alec approached the couch slowly because he was pretty sure Logan would find some way to bolt if Alec made any sudden moves, like, climb him like a tree.
"You did kiss me back." Alec stooped over Logan's ear. He leaned in, shy of mouthing that curve. He gingerly nosed the strands of short hair by the temples.
Logan audibly gulped hard.
"I don't just kiss real well," Alec whispered. "There are a lot of things I do really well." He slipped a hand over a tensed shoulder. He gave it a squeeze and felt a shiver shimmy under Logan's skin.
"Alec..." Logan's shoulders slumped. "We...Alec, I can't. I just...can't. Can we drop this? "
Alec smoothed his palm up the slope of Logan's neck. He could feel the convulsive swallow.
"You sure you want me to do that?" Alec pressed his thumb into the bumps of vertebrae: C2, C3, C4. Press and release, circle, coax the warm flush crawling up Logan's unblemished nape to spread.
"Don't." Logan leaned forward, pulling away from Alec's reach.
Alec's hand dropped to his sides. He stared at the back of Logan's head.
"I don't get it," Alec said, frustrated. "I wasn't imagining things. Was I?"
Logan didn't look like he was going to answer but after a beat, he slowly shook his head.
"Then what the hell?"
"Because I have to live with this for the rest of what's left of my life." Logan didn't indicate towards anything, but the reference was clear. "You shouldn't have to."
"I told you: that doesn't bother me."
"It should."
Alec breathed sharply through his nose. "Stop telling me what I should do, all right? If you haven't noticed already, I kind of stopped following orders since I left Manticore after Berrisfo—" He snapped his mouth shut. His insides clenched because, what the hell?
If Logan heard Alec's verbal breach of security, he gave no sign. He dropped his face into his palms and sighed. He muttered something.
"What?" Alec sat down next to Logan. "You're going have to speak up. Mumble is one language Manticore didn't teach."
Logan lifted his face from his hands and gave him a wary sideways look.
Alec made sure he was on the far end opposite Logan because it looked like the guy was worried about Alec pouncing him.
"Well?"
Hazel eyes slid away. Logan appeared fascinated by the stripe of wall underneath the windows. "I said it bothers me."
Ice lumped in the base of Alec's throat. He faced forward as well. "Oh."
"I..." Logan's voice was raspy as if he had been shouting. "I shouldn't take what you're offering when I can't..." Adam's apple working, Logan didn't finish.
"You don't know that," Alec said quietly. "You said before you could feel some things."
"But it might not be enough."
"Might? Don't you want to know for sure?"
"No...not really."
Alec studied Logan's profile tilted away from him.
"You're scared," Alec accused.
"I am." Logan didn't even bother denying it.
Taken aback, Alec blinked. He slumped into the couch. He scratched his jaw.
"I don't know how to help you with that," Alec admitted.
Logan laughed awkwardly. "Me too." He scrubbed his face tiredly. "Can't we just have this? It's...it's enough."
I don't even know what this is, Alec wanted to shout. He shrugged instead. He picked at the couch cushion underneath him.
"Alec..." Logan said tentatively.
"Whatever." Alec shrugged again.
"I appreciate what you're trying to do and it's kind of you to—"
"Kind?" Alec rolled his eyes. "Newsflash, Heather. I don't do kind and I don't do pity. You think I want to jump your bones because I feel sorry for that cute ass? You're not exactly hideous."
"Thank you," Logan returned awkwardly. "I think." He coughed and went back to staring at his stupid, boring wall.
"Sorry for you," Alec grumbled as he did the same, but only because he suspected crawling up Logan's lap to show him just how not sorry Alec felt for him might be counterproductive. "I don't feel sorry for your bony ass. Hell, sometimes I want to kick it, you idiot." He pretended to glower at Logan. "You are such a cockblocker."
Logan choked. "Sorry." He tried to smile, but it failed completely. He looked so miserable. There was a freaky moment Alec thought Logan was going to do something gross like get mopey or worse: cry.
"Fine," Alec griped. "You want to do the no sex, no kissing, how-ya-doing-pal thing. We'll do it, get a secret handshake, shit like that."
It really pissed Alec off that Logan relaxed at his words. Alec clamped his mouth shut. Whatever. His loss. Alec didn't need this drama. He could get his rocks off elsewhere. Maybe miraculously find another condom for Gina.
"Thank you." Logan bleakly looked out at the window. "It's for the best. This...it wouldn't have worked out."
Alec wished Logan didn't sound so god damn sure. He wished Logan didn't sound so resigned that whatever this was, it was all he could have.
But Alec also wished Logan would stop staring at that crummy spot under the window.
Alec snorted loudly, drawing Logan's eyes away from it.
"You don't know what you're missing." Alec shot Logan a smirk. His face strangely hurt doing it.
When Logan tentatively grimaced back, Alec elbowed him in the ribs.
"Seriously though...it was a pretty good kiss, wasn't it?"
Startled, Logan barked out a laugh. He looked so relieved, Alec wanted to grab him by those nice shoulders and give him a hard shake. Hard enough to shake that broody crap that must be in Logan's DNA right out of him.
Alec didn't give into the temptation though and only prodded him again. "Come on. It was good, wasn't it? Didn't you see stars? Didn't you suddenly want to burst into song, praising how awesome my kiss was? Didn't the ground move? What on the Richter scale? An eight? Bet it was a ten!"
It wasn't fair how Logan's half-choked laughter was so damn cute because the urge to rattle sense back into the guy evaporated as soon as Alec heard it.
"It wasn't..." Logan dropped his head to the couch, his shoulders shaking. "It wasn't that good."
Alec leered. "That's only because you got the Bronze special."
"Wait, the what?"
Pursing his lips exaggeratedly, Alec splayed one hand on his stomach, the other hand out. He pretended to sway his hips on the couch. He stopped when a throw pillow smacked in his face.
Logan took his glasses off, thumbing the corner of his eyes dry. His chuckles faded, but he was still smiling when he slid his spectacles back over his nose.
Not wanting to hear Logan tout again how it was better this way, martyr Cale knows best, blah, blah, Alec faced the windows. Funny, he never sat here like this: looking out the window like some rich dude savoring his view.
Logan seemed content not to say anything as well. He sank back into the cushions.
The silence between them was comfortable, so comfortable, Alec snuck a look over to Logan to see if maybe Logan found it just as freaky. His breath caught when he discovered Logan blinking sleepily out the window, into the night, his eyes a cloudy jade, his mouth a soft line.
Throat working, Alec averted his gaze. He bit his lower lip and watched the stars dimmed as Seattle's lights took over. Even though he was only one end of the couch, he thought he could feel Logan's shoulder just off of his. His skin prickled.
Alec opened his mouth. Then he shut it again. He rubbed the back of his neck. His mouth was dry yet his palms were sweaty.
"Seriously," Alec said hesitantly, "it...it wasn't bad, right? Because..." He took a deep breath. "I thought it was all right. Pretty good. It could even have made good screen time for your porn. I mean...I thought it was good. We could try..."
Alec stopped when he faced Logan.
Slumped sideways on the couch now, eyeglasses askew, Logan slept. He snored softly, slightly congested. His breaths whistled softly through his nose.
Alec cleared his throat. Logan didn't wake. His mouth tilted up as he watched Logan mumbled something unintelligible, his brow knitting.
Quietly, Alec snagged the fleece throw rolled up in the nearby wheelchair and tossed it over Logan's legs. He carefully plucked the thin eyeglasses off. The last thing the world needed was a reappearance of those ugly replacement frames.
Logan didn't stir. Alec stretched closer to Logan's side and watched him sleep, his eyes moving under shut eyelids.
"So much for waiting for that call," Alec murmured, the corner of his mouth twitching.
It would be easy; to reach out, trace a finger around Logan's mouth, down the topography of his body. Alec caught himself just before his finger could skim the shape of Logan's brow.
Alec shook his head. He rose to his feet and made for the window. He stopped. He then tiptoed to the computer area. A quick search yielded what he needed. He scribbled out the simple sentence on a clean post note. After a moment's hesitation, he signed it as well.
With a quiet snicker, Alec crept back and stuck the note on Logan's forehead. And he couldn't help it; Alec brushed a fingertip across Logan's lower lip.
Thankfully, Logan slept on.
Alec wondered why it felt like he was wadding through mud when he turned away. He recoupled his rigging and slipped out the window, making sure to close it shut behind him with the alarm set. Alec climbed, faster to the roof before he could duck back inside to reclaim the note.
Your fridge makes me sad.
Alec