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English
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Cucumbers and Other Unconventional Toys, Klasix Master Collection
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Published:
2019-06-02
Words:
954
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
7
Kudos:
106
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4
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2,700

Cucumber in the...

Summary:

I had to add one to the collection so here's my cucumber fic.

Notes:

Y'all can thank bang bang beef keef and RADifer for this one.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Oh come on, just try it once, pleeease,” Lance begged, holding the cucumber in Keith’s face.

“No, you are not going to shove that thing in my ass, that’s so unsanitary.” Keith slapped it away with a sour face.

“Well, obviously I would put a condom on it, it won’t be that bad, kind of like my dick but bigger, just try it, if you don’t like it we can stop.”

Oh no, not the puppy dog eyes and the pouty lip, Keith could never resist that face. “Fine!” He shouted. “But we’re stopping the second I say stop.”

Lance didn’t waste any time jumping up from his spot on the couch and grabbing Keith’s wrist. He pulled him down the hall to their room while Keith regretted his decision.

He made sure to pull out the lube and condoms before they got started, wouldn’t want to stop in the middle of things to grab them later. He pushed Keith down onto the bed and jumped on top of him crashing their lips together in a heated kiss. His hands traveled down his chest to his pants, fumbling with the zipper in an overly excited fashion.

Finally, he got the zipper down and started to tug at the pants. Keith pulled away from the kiss and lifted his hips up enough to help him wriggle the pants down to his ankles, then Keith kicked them off the rest of the way. He suddenly felt very weird.

“Ma-maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

Lance kissed a trail down Keith’s jawline to his neck, sucking in a bit of the skin and biting slightly. Keith let out a low growl and relaxed back onto the bed. Lance knew all of his weak spots and how to stimulate them, which is why he trailed the kisses further down to his nipple, twirling his tongue around it and sucking it into his mouth.

“F-fuck you.”

Lance pulled away and smirked. “I think you mean to say fuck me.”

Keith hid his face behind his arms and groaned. As many times as they’d had sex, this was the most embarrassed he’d been in a long time. He was about to let his boyfriend fuck him with a vegetable, definitely the weirdest thing he’d ever done.

Lance trailed his fingers down his side to his hip, lightly tracing his fingers along the bone. Lance pulled his hand away and grabbed the lube squirting some out onto his hand and rubbing it on Keith’s cock. “Fuck, Lance!”

He slowly pumped his fist eliciting some beautiful moans from the raven-haired boy. It was too hard to resist, as much as he loved the moans, he loved kissing him more. Hand still pumping Keith’s cock, Lance pushed himself back up and lightly pressed his lips to Keith’s. His tongue caressed across Keith’s lips asking for access and boy was it granted. Their tongues twirled around in a passionate dance, barely taking breaks to breathe.

It was so easy to tell when Keith was getting close. His breathing would quicken, his moans would grow louder and more often. But Lance didn’t want him to cum yet, no, he wanted him to come with the cucumber in his ass, so he stopped pumping.

“Wh-what… no, d-don’t stop,” Keith groaned, pushing himself up onto his elbows.

“Calm down baby, you’ll get to cum, but not like this.”

“Are we really doing this?”

“Of course, now just relax.” Lance pushed him back down and pushed his legs apart, sitting between them. He squirted a little bit more of the lube onto his fingers and rubbed it on Keith’s entrance. He got the go-ahead from Keith and sunk his finger in, his moan following the finger as it bottomed out at his knuckle.

Keith was a mess by the time Lance got the third finger in, he needed to hurry this along because Keith wasn’t going to last much longer at this point. “I’m gonna put it in now, okay?”

“Do I really have a choice, just get this weird fantasy of yours over with.”

Lance smiled and grabbed the cucumber next to him. He ripped open the condom with his teeth and rolled it down over the vegetable, this was weird but oddly hot at the same time. Keith was really going to let him fuck him with a cucumber.

Positioning it on Keith’s entrance, he looked up one last time for the okay. A nod of the head and Lance began to push it in.

“Fuuuuuuck,” Keith moaned as it sunk all the way in.

Lance smiled and pulled it back out slowly, he wanted to tease him a bit, payback for all the teasing Keith did to him. Keith started to squirm, rolling his hips in an attempt to push it back in and Lance was kind enough to oblige.

“I… I hate that this… ahh… feels so good.”

The smirk on Lance’s face grew. “I’m glad you like it so much, baby.”

“Shut up.”

Lance pushed the cucumber in and Keith let out an ungodly squeal. Lance knew exactly what that meant, it meant he’d found the spot. He kept the cucumber in that position and start to fuck Keith with it, hitting that spot on every reentry.

“Lance… I’m gonna… I’m gonna cum.” and with those words, the thick milky substance shot out onto Keith’s chest. Lance slowed but continued as Keith’s body shuddered through his orgasm. When Keith finally relaxed he pulled the cucumber out with the biggest smirk on his face.

“Whatever you’re going to say, just don’t,” he mumbled, covering his face with his hands.

And that’s the story of how Lance fucked Keith with a cucumber, the end.

Notes:

seriously, why did I write this?