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Chapter Text

Not to say Peter wasn’t excited to go to Stark Tower… but Peter wasn’t excited to go to Stark Tower.

Words he never thought he would associate together “not excited” and “Stark Tower”, suddenly seemed to fit far too well for his situation and it wasn’t that he had grown ungrateful for the opportunities (by that he meant crazy Spider powers) which had granted him the ability to basically show up there whenever he wanted. No, not at all. Rather, it had more to do with the fact his entire academic decathlon team was currently on a bus travelling there right now for a field trip and he could feel the anxiety mounting. 

Ned had assured him it was completely unnecessary, after all he had nothing to prove since his internship actually existed, Mr. Stark knew who he was, and technically, he did know Spider-Man. But that’s because he was Spider-Man, he pointed out.

“... Details.” Ned replied. 

But that didn’t stop him from worrying due to the great amount of pressure thrust upon him to prove that he wasn’t a liar, Ned’s very kind words be damned. Otherwise, he would just be embarrassing himself further and what’s worse… He’d never hear the end of it from Flash. It wasn’t that Flash was the worst person ever— he wasn’t at all really, more so just annoying in ways he couldn’t even begin to comprehend— in fact, he had begun to ease up a bit more after their European excursion for reasons unknown (though if Peter had to guess, having a near death experience via drone tended to be a turning point for people); but once he got started on something, he wasn’t one to let it go quietly. 

Especially since this field trip had been announced as a “fun surprise” for the group for doing so well at State and since it was the beginning of a new school year, why not do something both fun and educational?

“It’s funducational!” Mr. Harrington declared with the excitement only a broken shell of a man could feel. He really, really needed this. 

And now Flash wouldn’t shut up about it. Though, to be fair, while the rest of his class was a more socially polite bunch, he could tell they were thinking the same thing. The elephant in the room.

He felt a crumpled up wad of paper hit the back of his head. “Yo Penis Parker! What are you gonna do when your internship turns out to be fake?!”

Peter pursed his lips, sinking down into his seat. 

“Well it’s not! Because it’s totally real!” Ned shouted back before leaning towards Peter. “Don’t worry, man. I got your back.”

MJ grabbed Ned’s arm before he could poke his head back up, pulling him back into his seat as Flash let out a laugh. “You’re just making it worse, dude.”

Ned scooted closer to Peter, lowering his voice appropriately, “Why can’t you just call Tony Stark or something and ask him to make an appearance?”

Peter winced at the comment, remembering the sorry state his mentor was in last he left him. He had barely survived the DIY Infinity Gauntlet and had remained in a coma for nearly two weeks before finally returning to the land of the living. But despite barely having any grip on reality, he was still doggedly determined to make this healing process take even longer than it already was due to his refusal to just sit still for five minutes.  

Despite Tony’s relatively good nature about it all: only being down to one arm (“So do I get to join a secret club now for people with a metal arm now?”), the scarring, not being able to return to being Iron Man for a Very Long Time (if at all). None of it seemed to bother him as much as it bothered Peter. He couldn’t help but feel intense guilt wash over him at even the mention of Tony Stark as if he could have changed something.

He frowned, “Because-” 

“Tony Stark literally hasn’t been seen by the public since the end of The Blip,” MJ snorted, “the only reason we know he isn’t dead is because Pepper Potts made a statement saying so.”

The two boys only stared at her, “... What? I have to keep up with the news, that way I can be prepared when America inevitably spirals into a post-apocalyptic society where money no longer holds value.”

“Alright!” Mr. Harrington exclaimed, standing up from his seat. “Settle down everyone and be prepared to exit the bus! Make sure you have all the stuff you’re going to need, because we’re not coming back on the bus until the end of the tour!”

The group began to mutter amongst themselves, gathering their things as the bus squeaked to a slow stop in front of glistening Stark Industries tower. Peter swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling smaller than he had ever been. 

“Peter?” MJ gently shook his shoulder. “Peter?... Peter!”

“Gah! What?!”

“We’re leaving, c’mon.”

Flash looked at him with a positively shit-eating grin. “The sooner we get inside, the sooner we get to see Parker get roasted for being a liar! Woo!”

He sighed, this was going to be the longest field trip of his life.

Aleksei Sytsevich sat with his arms wrapped firmly behind his back, several guards surrounding him from all sides despite being trapped in the back of a moving vehicle. He hung his head, refusing to face the guards, today was the day he was meant to be transported to The Raft, after a year long stint in Ryker’s while they awaited Rhino-proof renovations to be complete.

He grunted at the thought, it was all the Spider’s fault he was in here, Stark’s personal minion. Aleksei knew for a fact, if it wasn’t for him, he would have easily succeeded in the mission of capturing John Jameson and his anger had little to do with the money really. In fact, he had no use for money as a morally upstanding individual. He had wished to prove a point, that Aleksei “The Rhino” Sytesevich could easily strike it out on his own! He didn’t need Russian crime syndicate. 

He glared at the guards surrounding him, then out the back window. They were somewhere in the city, he could see that much from the ever stretching skyline that raced by. Spider-Man… he was out there; in cahoots with Stark and laughing at him. He began to growl, at first a dull rumble vibrated and quickly grew into an earth shattering shout. Aleksei sprung from his seat, “No more Spider mocking me!”

The guards jumped into position, going to tackle Rhino to the ground but stood no chance as he tilted his garganution horn towards the men blocking the door and rushed directly for them, causing the doors to fly open and the guards, along with Rhino, to fly out. He got to his feet and with the adrenaline pumping through his veins, was able to easily free himself from his bindings.

“Don’t just stand there!” One of the remaining guards exclaimed. “Take him down!”

The group began to assault Rhino with a spray of bullets, though they did little besides bounce off his armor and increase his fury. He roared, snatching two of the armed guards off the ground, smashing their heads together, and dropping them back to the street like rag dolls.

“Your little bullets are like nothing to me!” He said, continuing this pattern of seizing and tossing guards until he was the last man standing. He breathed heavily, looking towards the great high rise that stood taller than the rest. In fact, it was so large that even he could read the word emblazoned upon it from this distance: Stark. 

He laughed under his breath, “There you are, little Spider. Now, I am coming to crush you.”

Chapter Text

Peter filed in behind his classmates, going through security single file before being passed badges on the other side of the line, each printed with a large red V for Visitor. He had gone to reach for his own ID, the one he kept in the front pocket of his bag, only to find that he had left his bag on the bus.

His eyes grew wide and he immediately waved his arms towards his teacher, “Mr. Harrison, I forgot-!”

“If that sentence ends with ‘something on the bus’, then the answer is no, Peter!” He shouted from across the security check line. “I’m sorry!”

He sighed, crossing the security barrier and accepting the badge as Mr. Harrington promptly added, “You really do need to keep better track of your things, Peter. We can’t keep having this conversation. How do you forget your backpack almost every week anyways?”

If Peter were quite honest, it was a mystery to him as well. You’d think for the guy who has kept up a secret identity for the past two years, he would be able to keep up with a backpack. But May’s monthly backpack limit begged to differ. 

Flash nudged him in the rib, “Pretty convenient you forgot your backpack there, Parker.”

He turned his gaze to the adjacent wall with a grumble, not giving him the satisfaction of a reply until MJ came to join him. She quirked her brow, “Why are you so obsessed with him anyway?”

“I’m not obsess- ugh, whatever.” He looked over his shoulder as he went to rejoin the group, yelling, “You’re protecting a liar!”

Peter craned his neck up towards his girlfriend, smiling, “Thanks, MJ.”

“Seriously though, the backpack thing is getting old.”

And his face immediately dropped to a frown. However, his sulking was quickly interrupted by Ned, who pushed his way between the two, a large grin painted across his face from ear to ear, “I’ve literally never been more excited in my life.”

He laughed, “I’m pretty sure it’s just a museum tour, Ned.”

“Says you! You get to come here all the time!” He exclaimed indignantly. “This is the closest us peasants shall ever venture to this technological paradise.”

“You ever been to an Apple store?” MJ asked. “That seems pretty close to me. Same issues with forced obsolescence.”

“Forced obsolescence via battle!”

“You all must be the Midtown High group!” A smiley voice said, cutting through the chatter. The teenagers immediately turned to face her and found it was quite easy to distinguish her as their tour guide. If not from her attitude, then her dress; a matching pressed black blazer and pencil skirt, a maroon button up, and a shiny Stark pin brandished on her lapel above her name tag. With a bit of squinting, Peter could see that it said Brenda .

“What gave it away?” Mr. Harrington quipped, gesturing to their matching bright blue school shirts, but to no response except a forced pity laugh from their guide.

Brenda then began to speak, “Well, welcome to Stark Industries! My name is Brenda and I’ll be your guide this morning! We’re very excited to show you everything our extensive collection has in stor-”

Flash’s hand flew up, though more as a commodity, as he declared, “Do you know Peter Parker?!”

“Sir, there are over one-thousand employees in this building alone,” Brenda answered chipperly, “it is impossible for me to know every single one and if I did, I am not allowed to disclose that information due to it being against company policy.”

That earned a few chuckles. She didn’t hesitate to take that as her cue to move on, “As I was saying, we’re excited to show you everything our collection has in store! In fact, we recently had a major expansion as we move onto the next phase of our development as a company, so many projects have become open to public viewing as they are now obsolete. Now, if you will follow me.”

The team quickly fell behind her in an amalgamated clump, absentmindedly following her to their next destination.

“You all are in for a very special treat,” she said, trying to keep the enthusiasm somewhat high, “due to Spider-Man’s association with Stark Industries, we recently obtained replicas of both the original suit, the classic suit, and the Iron Spider for temporary display! We’re very grateful to him for allowing us to do this exhibit and perhaps, in the future, we’ll see him in the Avengers Hall!”

Peter felt his heart leap into his throat as the group began to chatter, Ned leaned in towards Peter, “Dude, you didn’t mention there was going to be a Spider-Man exhibit!”

“Because I forgot! Some PR guy brought it up and I was so worried about May and not having a place to live and Mr. Stark, I- just said okay and forgot!” He hissed in a panic. “I’ve been kinda busy!”

“Dude, why are you so worried about it?” MJ asked. “It’s actually kinda cool, ya know? Spider-Man helped save the universe and everything’s all good now, so look at his cool stuff.”

“Yeah, it’s not like being in the proximity of Spider-Man stuff is gonna expose your identity or something.”

“I-” Peter sighed, rubbing the back of his neck “I don’t know why, I’ve just been on edge all day. I’m sorry, guys.”

“Hey, it’s no biggie. You’re Peter,” MJ grabbed his hand, allowing a slight smile to play on her lips, “we’ve come to expect at least one crisis a week from you.”

“Yeah, dude,” Ned said, setting a hand on his shoulder, “don’t worry about it! Not every school trip has to be a disaster.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “you guys are right. I’m probably just all worked up about other stuff. I just need to chill out.”

“Exactly.” MJ agreed with a nod. “So chill out.”

The three laughed and soon enough, a wide open entrance appeared before them, presenting just a small taste of the various technological absurdities Tony Stark had managed to dream up over the years. Brenda smiled in the most Stark patented way possible, “Welcome to the Stark Industries Museum! Now, I’ll be walking you through a few key exhibits, mostly from our permanent collection, but after that, you will be free to roam about the museum for however long your teacher mandates. Understood?”

The class nodded and immediately, they were ushered inside, “Great! Now we’ll begin with the original arc reactor near the front entrance of the museum…” 

For a few minutes there, Peter had managed to convince himself that maybe he was just all worked up for no good reason. So what if Flash was a bit of a jerk and he had some personal issues at the moment? They weren’t here with him right now. He was allowed to have a moment to himself, away from all those things. Ned was right, not every school trip had to be a disaster. Then, as if on cue, Peter’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

Daily Bugle App

BREAKING: RHINO ESCAPED TRANSIT TO RAFT! Last seen in Yorkville and believed to be headed for the Upper East Side! Updates as story develops…

Nevermind, the universe was just laughing at him now. “Dammit–”

“What’s wrong?” Ned asked.

“I- I gotta go!” He replied in a frantic whisper.

“Go?!” Ned said, now matching his tone. “Why?”

“It’s Rhino, he’s escaped,” Peter began to pat himself down, digging through his pockets, “and-”

“And you left your entire suit on the bus except the webshooters.” MJ pointed out, holding up his wrist for him to see the small device under his sleeve.

“Gah!” He bit down on his lip until he almost felt the skin break as he began to pace and that’s when he spotted it: the Spider-Man display with non-working replicas of his suits… right across from where his entire class was currently standing. He might not be able to nick the whole suit, but maybe– he pivoted back towards his two friends, “I- I need you guys to cover for me. I need a distraction.”

Ned grinned, “Leave it to us, man.”

MJ gripped his hand tighter before unwinding their hands, she stepped to Ned’s side, “Try not to get squashed.”

Peter returned the comment with an anxious smile, “Thanks.”

Suddenly, from across the room, Ned shouted, “Hey guys! This is so cool, this- this thing I’m looking at and-”

The entire class stared at him with blank confusion as he continued to stammer, not even Brenda tried to stop him because she wasn’t even sure what she was trying to stop. MJ sighed, “There’s a replica of Thor’s hammer shooting lightning at a lightning rod.”

The group let out smattered ooos and gasps as they quickly lost interest in whatever Brenda had been presenting them, much to her chagrin as she pursued them in an attempt to herd them back in. Ned gave him a thumbs up from over the group and proceeded to point at his own shirt.

“Oh right,” he muttered to himself, zipping up the hoodie and mouthing back, “Thanks, Ned.”

A few minutes later, after Brenda had finally captured the class’s attention once, she pushed back her hair and smiled, “Now, if you will please direct your attention to- huh, that’s odd.”

“What’s wrong?” Mr. Harrington asked.

“I could have sworn we had a Spider-Man mask…” She said, staring at the now blank faced mannequin head. 

Peter launched himself off the side of Stark Tower, identity now somewhat secured as he swung to square off with Rhino once more.

“Hopefully I’m not too late...” He huffed, trying to steady himself into a rhythm to gain some speed. He and Rhino had done this song and dance before, just a little bit after returning from the dead, as New York’s criminal underbelly was once again thriving at full capacity. Including giant scary Rhino-themed men with suits permanently bonded to their flesh. He almost missed when villains would work with groups, because it made them way more predictable than when they were working alone. Though, to be fair, was Rhino ever predictable? If there was anything more dangerous than his muscles, it was his impulsive pea brain. 

Peter was promptly ripped from his thoughts as his spidey senses (he was trying to “rebrand” the name from Peter Tingle, but it wasn’t sticking) blared like a fire alarm. He jerked his head towards the source, only to see a car hurtling towards his head. He yelped, shooting a web atop the car’s hood and pulling himself forward to push into a flip off the vehicle. It was when he rolled to safety on the ground that he spotted Rhino, far too close to Stark Industries for comfort.

He inhaled, actively shoving down the anxiety trying to fight its way up his throat. He wasn’t Peter right now, he was Spider-Man. And Spider-Man didn’t get anxious upon seeing a nearly one ton man stomping on post boxes like a kid playing Godzilla.

“Hey Rhino!” He shouted, immediately catching the brute’s attention. “I see you’ve decided to take the scenic route to the Raft!”

He sneered, tossing aside a chunk of foundation, “Get out of my way, child or I crush you like I will crush bug.”

He flipped back his hood, revealing the stolen Spider-Man mask, “Aw, so you’re doing all this for me?!”

Peter shot a web into Rhino’s face before yanking himself into the air, “How sweet! I’ll send you a thank you card in prison!”

Rhino struggled with the webbing, yanking furtively until it finally released its grip. He glared up at Peter, now perched atop one of the nearby office buildings, “You think you are funny, Spider. Maybe it will not be so funny when I smash your face!”

He leaned his head forward, going to rush the building as Peter leapt into the air and webbed Rhino’s horn, pulling his head back and redirecting him towards the open street and away from anything that could result in potential casualties, before being ejected almost two blocks away onto the pavement.

“You and Stark,” Rhino huffed, “you laugh at Rhino! You laugh at me!”

“Well, you are pretty hilarious.” Peter grumbled as he pulled himself off the sidewalk, his chest winced in pain. That definitely left a mark.

“Which is why I have to kill you! Kill you and Stark!” He went to charge Peter, fists flying as he stomped down the street, “I destroy everything Stark built, including you.”

Peter’s eyes widened as it dawned him. Rhino wasn’t only gunning for him, he was gunning for Stark Tower. He launched himself forward, using Rhino’s head as a spring as he dug for his phone in the front pocket of his jeans. He opened the phone, scrolling frantically through his contacts before landing on Ned, “C’mon, pick up… pick up!”

Back in the museum, Ned felt his own pocket begin to buzz. He silently slid the phone out and checked the contact: Peter-Man

His eyes widened as his hand flew into the air, “Mr. Harrington, sir! I have to take this call, it’s very important! It’s my mom and our cat is, uh, dying!”

“Oh no! Not Darth Meowl.” Betty replied, her brow knitted with concern in a manner that flushed Ned with guilt.

“Uh, of course, Ned. Go right ahead.”

He sighed with relief, immediately bolting for the nearest corner, “Thank you so much, Mr. Harrington!”

Ned put the phone to his ear, “What’s up? Are you dying? Is Rhino dying? Who’s dying?”

 Ned, nobody is dying! You gotta get everyone out of there! Rhino is going straight for Stark Tower!”

“We can’t!” He exclaimed. “Mr. Harrington will get suspicious and they won’t just let us leave!”

“Gah!” Peter clenched his jaw. “Just try and keep everyone away from the windows or something! Oh shit-! Ned, I gotta go!”

“Peter-!” The call cut off and Ned scuttled back to the group.

“So how’s your cat?” Betty asked.

“Miraculously healed! Uh, MJ, can I talk to you real quick?” Ned asked, though he didn’t wait for answer he dragged her further away from the group.

“So I just got off the phone with Peter… Rhino is gonna crush us all.”

“What?!” She hissed.

“Peter said he’s coming straight at the building and to keep everyone away from the windows.”

“That’s not the same as being inevitably crushed. ”

“Well, it could be!”

Peter struggled to keep up with Rhino’s stampede, just barely able to quell the damage as he went. It was like he had forgotten all human inhibitions and went full wrecking machine. He barely managed to snatch a chunk of rubble before it squished a group of bystanders. Peter pulled himself back towards the skyline, “Why is this so much harder than before?!”

As he rose above the rooftops, he was able to catch a glimpse of Rhino once again, only mere feet from Stark Tower joining his path of destruction as citizens fled from the scene. He roared, uprooting a nearby bus stop then sending it right into the Stark Industries Museum.

Inside, the class screamed as shattered glass sprayed across the room and the bus stop wrecked an entire row of display cases.

“Everyone please remain calm!” Brenda exclaimed. “Stay against the back wall until it is safe to move to another location!”

Mr. Harrington frantically counted the students, “Fifteen, sixteen- Peter, where’s Peter?!”

Spider-Man swung directly into view of the museum, landing a kick directly into Rhino’s jaw and backflipping into his signature pose on the ground, “Didn’t anyone tell you to play nice with other people’s things?”

Rhino gritted his teeth, turning his fury on Spider-Man once again, “I! Will! Kill you!”

“Go, Spider-Man!” Flash whooped, pumping his fists in the air. At first, the rest of the group only stared at him, but after realizing their survival was very dependent on the Spider’s success, they suddenly seemed very inclined to join.

Josh leaned over to Yasmin. “Why isn’t wearing the full suit?”                              

She shrugged, “Short notice? Who cares, he kicks ass!”

Peter bounded out of the way of Rhino’s stampede, just managing to web one of his arm of his side before the other was used to whack him. He let out a grunt as he slammed against the side of a nearby building, “You know, if you wanted revenge, we could have just done this in the prison yard!”

“It is not the same as ruining you!” Rhino declared, hurling a piece of rubble directly at his head.

Peter barely managed to leap out of the way, a patch of his hoodie now missing and exposing a bloody scrap. He frowned, “Ah man, I really liked this hoodie! Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of fabric?-”

Rhino’s one free hand jutted out for him as he swung by, nabbing one of his shoes as he went, “Dude!”

“He can’t even get a hit on him.” Ned muttered.

“If he keeps going like this, he’s going to be fighting in his underwear.” MJ replied, suddenly jumping and running for the hole in the wall.

“Michelle!” Mr. Harrington shouted. “Michelle come back here!”

“Spider-Man!” Peter’s head jerked towards her, eyes widening.

“Mi- Ma’am! Get back inside!”

“Hit this guy or I’m never talking to you again!”

“Tryin’ my best!”

“Then try harder!”

He huffed, that was all the encouragement he needed. Even if MJ wasn’t being serious, he could hear the underlying message: You already beat this guy, you can do it again. You’re way smarter than him. You’ve got this. His eyes darted down to the Rhino’s open legs and he turned back to MJ, “I think I got an idea!- Oof!”

With one punch from Rhino, he went sailing down the street into the side of an office building with an awful thud as he slid down the side of the wall. 

MJ gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth to contain the name that was about to slip out of her mouth. Peter groaned in pain, pushing himself off the ground. If it worked on a giant Ant-Man, it should work on a giant angry Rhino man, right? 

He rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie, hunching into a lunge position, “Alright, let’s wrap this up.”

He catapulted himself from the ground, sending a web onto the storming Rhino’s knee cap as he began to swing around him like pendulum. Rhino swiped at him as though he really were the size of a spider, “Get off me, puny Spider!”

“Sorry! No can do!” He exclaimed, whipping himself over Rhino’s shoulder and around his chest in the same fashion as before, tying up his arms. “Try not to hit yourself on the way down!”

He rolled to the ground, still holding the bundle of loose threads in his fist. “Timber!”

And with a single pull, Rhino was brought to the ground with a boom that very well could have registered as an earthquake. Peter stumbled back, hastily webbing his enemy to the ground to make sure he had no chance of escape. He sighed in relief, “Hope the guys from The Raft like their gift, I never know what to get them.”

He could hear the police sirens humming from a distance and he smiled, looks like his job was done here and with that, he shot off a web and went to go rejoin his class.

“Hey, wait!” Flash shouted. “Are you friends with Peter Par- aw.”

“Doesn’t anyone else think it’s weird at all that Spider-Man always manages to show up when we have a problem?” Brad asked in exasperation.

“Are you really gonna question the guy who just saved our asses?” Harry asked. 

“Language, Mr. Osborn.” 

Suddenly, a helicopter descended upon the group, and as helicopters go, it seemed far more expensive than the standard helicopter one pictured when they thought helicopter. As it was a sleek grey with the STARK printed on its side standing out in clean white letters. The door slid open and to their confusion, stood Pepper Potts. She swept the area hurriedly, seeming to be in search of something before turning back to the group and noticing their shirts.

“You, you all go to his school. Where’s Peter?” 

They all blinked, mouths hanging open. “Ya know? Short kid, ya high, dark brown hair? Talks too much, but means well? That kid?”

“He’s, uh-” Ned stammered, “he’s in the-”

“I’m here! I’m here!” He stumbled back in from the lobby; hoodie secured around his waist, one beaten up shoe untied and barely on his left foot, and the mask stuffed into his back pocket. “Sorry, I got stuck in the bathroom when all that crazy stuff- oh, M- Mrs. Potts, what are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to get your report on what happened, but looks like I’ll have to get that from your friends. But do you mind if I speak to you for a moment anyway?”

“Uh, y- yeah. Sure.” The two stepped just outside onto the street. “No problem.”

“Wait, so the internship was real?!” Flash exclaimed. “What the hell?!” 

MJ smirked, “Is this the part where we get to say, ‘I told you so?’”

She leaned against the wall, “I just wanted to thank you for taking care of the Rhino, I know things have been difficult with Tony down and out. But without you, I’m pretty sure New York would have already been stomped into a burning pile of rubble. So thanks. I know Tony will be proud of you.”

He smiled, “Oh, uh, you’re welcome, Mrs. Potts and wait, he didn’t know about all this?”

“Hell no, do you know how hard it would have been to keep him in bed if he knew Spider-Man was fighting the fucking Rhino again? We wouldn’t stand a chance. By the way, I’m going to need that mask back, since it is property of Stark Industries.”

His brow furrowed, digging it out of his pocket and passing it to her, “How did you-?”

She smiled kindly, “Oh, Peter… I know all. Anyways, thanks again and uh, call your aunt.”

“I will!” He waved as she returned to the helicopter. “Bye, Mrs. Potts!” 

Peter leapt back in the building over the rubble, immediately being bombarded with a million questions but went directly back to his friends. Mr. Harrington took his place once again back at the front of the group, “Alright, kids! We still have thirty minutes before the bus comes to pick us back up so who wants to go to the Stark Industries cafeteria?”

“So?” MJ asked, pressing against his side.

He sighed, “Next time we have a field trip? I’m just staying home.”